Ask Gabby Gayle

from Lovin' Life After 50 - West Valley - July 2021

by Times Media Group

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Ask Gabby Gayle Remodeling vs. reality: What works?

BY GAYLE LAGMAN-CRESWICK

Dear Readers: A couple months ago, I heard from a reader who was bemoaning the fact that the men her age on the dating site always wanted younger women. I gave my 2 cents and asked to hear from the men on this topic. This was the best one I received:

QDear Gabby Gayle: Why men want younger women goes back to why we choose mates. Women look at a guy and think: “I can make something of him,” selecting a remodel project, which also explains why nice girls choose “bad boys.”

Guys nd a girl they want “just the way she is” expecting she will never change, because he expects to stay young forever. Problems arise because girls change to women, to mothers, then menopause and grandmothers. Guys no longer see the girl they want, so divorce and remarry someone closer to the original model.

Like Hugh Hefner said at 80, he always (and only) liked 18-year-olds. Likewise, women divorce men because they (the men) continually resist being remodeled into someone they never intended to be. Capiche? – Signed, GKR

ADear GKR: I capiche! I would like to argue with you but I can’t, because I think there is a lot of truth in what you say! I would say that I was never a Hugh Hefner fan and the fact that he only liked 18-year-olds makes me a little sick. Your letter points out something very important to me: All of us need to put more thought into mate selection… “Will you still love me when I’m 64?” Let us hear from those who made good choices? Thanks for writing. – Signed, GG

QDear Gabby Gayle: My dad lives with us. He is hard of hearing and won’t wear his hearing aids. I have teenage children whom he criticizes frequently — in their presence. The kids are embarrassed to bring their friends around because they never know what dad will do.

He passes gas whenever he feels like it and thinks nothing of it. He has been known to criticize their friends, too. I wish we had insisted on assisted living before he came to live with us, but now it would be like kicking him out. Can you o er a solution? – Signed, MR

ADear MR: I agree that this is a sticky situation! I do not advise couples to take in mom or dad, because it rarely works out. If your dad has a nice private room with television and comfy chairs, I suggest that you tell him when the kids have company he needs to stay in his quarters.

Also, instruct your kids to smother him with kindness. You need to do something to arouse kindness in him. If this doesn’t work, take him assisted living shopping under the guise that he should have a plan in case it doesn’t work out living with you. Hopefully, he will get the hint. Good luck! – Signed, GG

QDear Gabby Gayle: It is vacation time. And I am not a happy camper. We got lucky last year because of the pandemic, and now that things have opened up my husband is planning a vacation.

My husband is a di erent guy when he gets behind that wheel. God forbid if you need a bathroom stop. “You can go when we get gas!” he says. I have to pack lunches, which we eat while driving! Don’t even suggest stopping to see a landmark. You would think we are on some emergency drive to get someplace in a hurry.

I am at my wits’ end. Vacations are meant to be a time of happiness, relaxation, laughing, seeing the sights. Help!

– Signed, KL

ADear KL: I have a few suggestions: Refuse to go — and tell him why. You will only go if you can drive and stop whenever the spirit moves you. Tell him you are going on separate vacations from now on. Buy him a book on bullying.

If all else fails maybe you should consider trading him in? Tongue in cheek.

– Signed, GG

Features The

RIGHT Touch

Scottsdale’s Hope Clinic goes international

BY KRISTINE CANNON

Board-certi ed family medicine physician and pain specialist Dr. Okky Oei has put the patient rst, treating thousands of people with varying degrees of acute and chronic pain for more than 40 years.

Since opening Hope Clinic in the Airpark in 2018, however, Oei has turned his attention and time to also helping fellow therapists.

Of the 20 or so therapists he has personally trained and certi ed at his Scottsdale clinic, several are helping Oei expand Hope Clinic — internationally.

“Of course, I’d like to see more Hope Clinics in the U S. — and Arizona, for starters,” Oei says. “But the neat part is Hope Clinic worldwide actually has begun.”

Since Hope Clinic’s inception, Oei and his sta have treated all types of problems such as back pain; arthritis; hip, knee and foot pain; carpal tunnel; tennis and golf elbow; and neuropathy.

What sets Hope Clinic apart is its approach.

Hope Clinic not only provides pain relief through noninvasive technology, Myo-Facial release techniques and other therapeutic approaches, but it also specializes in integrative medicine, forgoing invasive procedures and narcotic prescriptions.

“We don’t use any opiates at all. We don’t prescribe anything. We don’t inject anything. And yet, our results are over 90% (positive). We see very positive results,” Oei says.

Simply put, Oei says, Hope Clinic helps the body do what it needs to do in the rst place, which is repair and heal.

It’s this approach to medicine and treatment that Oei teaches fellow therapists.

Oei also developed a training program that allows him to duplicate the clinic through webinars and certi cation.

While Hope Clinic was on its way to expanding in 2019 and 2020, the COVID-19 pandemic derailed it, Oei says, forcing him to brie y furlough his sta and close both Valley locations.

Within a couple months, however, he was able to reopen the Scottsdale o ce and reignite expansion.

“A group that became very interested in this from Indonesia happened to be here living the States,” Oei says.

“So, I trained them, and they have now started Hope Clinic Indonesia. It’s starting to expand.”

Oei has also had an expansion in patients amid the pandemic, particularly among young adults seeking pain treatment, notably related to sports and physical activity.

“We see a wide variety of things and also age groups, anything from the younger to, very often, the older,” Oei says.

And, as a result of COVID-19, which saw many Americans working from home, Hope Clinic has treated pain related to increased laptop use, including “the back, oftentimes when the muscles get tight, overuse of hands and arms and carpal tunnel,” Oei says.

According to an April 2021 study in the journal Demography, chronic pain has signi cantly increased for all U.S. adult demographics, including young adults.

Overall, chronic pain a ects more than 20% of U.S. adults, with the joints and lower back highlighted as the most prevalent sites of pain.

“The U.S. health care system focuses on procedures and medications,” corresponding author Dr. Anna Zajacova told Medical News Today.

“For pain, however, the focus needs to shift to prevention and management, including support of self-management and interdisciplinary conservative treatment approaches.”

And that’s what Oei would like to do more of, particularly among younger patients: help them understand the source of the pain and help them manage it in a noninvasive way.

“My goal and my hope is … (to) get to people earlier and really have them understand,” Oei says.

“Because most people, once they know what we do, it makes sense and it becomes a kind of logical interest of why we do things and what they need to do.”

Oei’s interest in pain management began while he was in medical school in 1969. It was during this time that he sustained a severe back strain injury that became chronic.

When he discovered his body couldn’t

Dr. Okky Oei and Hope Clinic relieve pain with noninvasive technology, Mayo-Facial release techniques, and therapeutic approaches to help the body repair and heal. (Photo by Pablo Robles)

Hope...continues on page 10

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