Tucson Weekly March 17, 2022 by Times Media Group

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Recognizing the year’s worst in government transparency

TUCSON SALVAGE: Living With Long COVID

MUSIC: Hop Over to Tucson Hip Hop Fest

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MARCH 17, 2022

MARCH 17, 2022 | VOL. 37, NO. 11

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STAFF

CONTENTS SONORAN EXPLORIN’

An ode to Stephen Sondheim, to Arizona art and to reading emails more carefully

TUCSON SALVAGE

Long COVID, or What Price Las Vegas?

FEATURE

The Foilies: Recognizing the year’s worst in government transparency

MUSIC

ADMINISTRATION Steve T. Strickbine, Publisher Michael Hiatt, Vice President

EDITOR’S NOTE

Tyler Vondrak, Associate Publisher, tyler@tucsonlocalmedia.com Claudine Sowards, Accounting, claudine@tucsonlocalmedia.com

What Are They Hiding? PUBLIC RECORDS ARE SUPPOSED TO be public—but many government agencies would prefer their work be done in the shadows. That’s why they often come up with all sorts of ways to block the press and the public from seeing them, whether it’s charging outrageous fees or claiming that it will take months or years to respond to requests. That why every year during Sunshine Week, our paper joins with many alt-weeklies across the country to publish the FOIllies—a round-up of some of the most outrageous responses to requests for public records. The package is compiled by the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to defending digital freedom and free speech. While the excuses to not producing public records are amusing to read, it should also outrage you that these agencies don’t want you to know what they are doing with your tax dollars—not to mention that the former occupant to the White House was evidently shredding, eating and flushing public records.

Elsewhere in the book this week: Sonoran Explorin’ columnist Emily Dieckman recounts a trip to the opera; Tucson Salvage columnist Brian Smith shares his battle with long COVID; Chow contributor Matt Russell writes about new downtown hotspot BATA; managing editor Jeff Gardner previews this weekend’s Tucson Hip Hop Festival; XOXO columnist Xavier Omar Otero tells you about all the live music you can enjoy this week; Tucson Weedly columnist David Abbott looks at a new organization that helps veterans who are interested in learning more about cannabis as medicine; and there are the usual comics, calendars and columns scattered throughout the book. Jim Nintzel Executive Editor Hear Nintz talk about all the fun you can have in this burg at 9:30 Wednesday mornings on the world-famous Frank Show on KLPX, 96.1 FM.

EDITORIAL Jim Nintzel, Executive Editor, jimn@tucsonlocalmedia.com Jeff Gardner, Managing Editor, jeff@tucsonlocalmedia.com Alexandra Pere, Staff Reporter, apere@timespublications.com Nicole Feltman, Staff Reporter, nfeltman@timespublications.com Contributors: David Abbott, Rob Brezsny, Max Cannon, Rand Carlson, Tom Danehy, Emily Dieckman, Bob Grimm, Andy Mosier, Linda Ray, Margaret Regan, Will Shortz, Jen Sorensen, Clay Jones, Dan Savage PRODUCTION Courtney Oldham, Production Manager, tucsonproduction@timespublications.com Ryan Dyson, Graphic Designer, ryand@tucsonlocalmedia.com CIRCULATION Alex Carrasco, Circulation, alexc@tucsonlocalmedia.com ADVERTISING TLMSales@TucsonLocalMedia.com Gary Tackett, Account Executive, gtackett@tucsonlocalmedia.com Kristin Chester, Account Executive, kristin@tucsonlocalmedia.com Candace Murray, Account Executive, candace@tucsonlocalmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Zac Reynolds Director of National Advertising Zac@TimesPublications.com Tucson Weekly® is published every Thursday by Times Media Group at 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, Arizona. Address all editorial, business and production correspondence to: Tucson Weekly, 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, Arizona 85741. Phone: (520) 797-4384, FAX (520) 575-8891. Member of the Association of Alternative Newsmedia (AAN). The Tucson Weekly® and Best of Tucson® are registered trademarks of Times Media Group. Publisher has the right to refuse any advertisement at his or her discretion.

RANDOM SHOTS By Rand Carlson

The Tucson Hip Hop Festival returns for the first time in two years

TUCSON WEEDLY

Vets have a new group where they can find resources and medical marijuana

Cover image by Caitlyn Crites / Electronic Frontier Foundation

Copyright: The entire contents of Tucson Weekly are Copyright Times Media Group No portion may be reproduced in whole or part by any means without the express written permission of the Publisher, Tucson Weekly, 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, AZ 85741.

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MARCH 17, 2022

SONORAN EXPLORIN’

A NIGHT AT THE OPERA

An ode to Stephen Sondheim, to Arizona art and to reading emails more carefully

By Emily Dieckman tucsoneditor@tucsonlocalmedia.com

SORENSEN

I WAS A THEATER KID GROWING UP, which means I was annoying and that I have seen The Sound of Music, like, 15 times. It also means I was saddened when Stephen Sondheim, one of the most influential and important musical theater composers of all time, died in November 2021. He’s the type of person you forget is going to die like the other humans. He won eight Tony Awards, a Pulitzer Prize and a Presidential Medal of Freedom. He brought us Into the Woods, Sweeney Todd, Company and West Side Story. His work was famously complex and polyphonic, at once moving and catchy, and somehow comforting in its frank, non-saccharine portrayal of reality. Sondheim said that there were three principles underlying all of his work:

“Content Dictates Form, Less is More, and God is in the Details.” Last weekend, I saw Arizona Opera’s production of his show A Little Night Music. CONTENT DICTATES FORM Originally produced in 1973, A Little Night Music was inspired by an 1955 Ingmar Bergman film, Smiles of a Summer Night. Bergman’s film is a fun comedy with lots of delicious drama, including a young man in love with his stepmother, old lovers reuniting and a game of Russian roulette. It’s got layers upon layers of adultery. But it also features reflections on guilt, aging, the nature of parenthood and the double-sided coin that is love and hatred. The Criterion Collection once called it “nearly perfect.” It’s a perfect fit to be adapted by

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Sondheim, who is known for addressing complex, often dark, themes. Not to mention that it’s set during a Swedish summer during which the sun never fully sets—making for some lovely lighting effects on stage. One of my favorite elements of the show is that it examines how frustrating life can be at every age: for the young (“How can I wait around for later?” asks young, melancholy Henrik. “It’s intolerable being tolerated.”), for the middle-aged (“Love’s disgusting, love’s insane. A humiliating business!” spits Charlotte, reflecting on her husband’s infidelity)

and for the old (“Let us hope this lunacy’s just a trend,” laments Madame Armfeldt from her wheelchair, gesturing vaguely at the youth.) Madame Armfeldt, the mother of one of the characters engaged in all the adultery, mostly provides wry commentary on the action. She perhaps sums it up best when she tells her granddaughter to watch for the summer night smiling three times: Once at the young, who know nothing, once at the fools, who know too little, and once at the old, who know too much. CONTINUED ON PAGE 6

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Story & photos by Brian Smith

Long COVID, or What Price Las Vegas? THERE IS NO CRUELER, MEANER world than Las Vegas. It’s long been said Vegas is everything bad about America only magnified, where dreams go to die on the back of grasping desires for easy cash. It was February 2020 and a mad celebration for the Chinese New Year had just ended at the hotel and casino, and I was told a sudden influx of Asians had left and returned home, and the familiarity of people on the periphery seemed what I imagined a weeknight normal here—a giant vivarium filled of slots and card tables, all sleek and negligent, and grandparents with that greedy-need look in their eyes they’re ashamed to identify, the gold-tinted whack-a-moles, the myriad sports jerseys over beer guts, the occasional Tom Ford suit and sculpted Dolce & Gabbana gown, etc. As pretty and ugly as the Aerosmith and Everclear pumping through the house sound system. I disturbed the casino paths with a cigar like I’d done the two previous nights. I considered a table but didn’t have the coin. Injected slots with a few stupid dollars, nada. I finished up in the casino and went up the elevator to our room with my wife Maggie, newborn baby daughter and 6-year-old son. Third night in Vegas, and I was feeling weird. Woke up the next day and something was wrong, not just some early flu ache thing, the whole nervous system was off. The cigar, the elevator button and slots are the only external things I touched in the casino, outside of our room. I’d been in Vegas for a few days visiting in-laws with my family, and COVID was but a rising blip on the radar, there were no masks anywhere. Not yet. Vaccines were nearly a year away. No family member

was sick, or got sick after. Splitting the hotel, negotiating airport security lines and the gates for the return was 10 times the usual endurance test, and I was descending fast. Boarding felt like getting squeezed into a tube of toothpaste and a bizarre claustrophobia took hold. Every smell took on the weight of ammonia and sour milk, had me choking back hurl. Every face ugly. If we’d waited a few hours I wouldn’t have been able to board. On the short flight to Tucson I tried to focus on counting seconds in some vain effort to expedite the trip, gripping the armrest to keep from whirling off the jet. My wife Maggie, with our children, had another child to deal with, and her gentle hands dispensed poise and organization, as usual. By the time we landed, I nearly required a wheelchair, the deplaning, the baggage claim, the move to the car. At home, it was all I could to be guided to the bed. Maggie became a nurse. Night became the day and day became the night and I’d wake and find Smart Water and orange juice by the bed. She would change the sweat-soaked sheets from under me three times a day, which I don’t remember, and sleep at night with the children. I’d gulp Advil to dull bone pain. I laid there five days straight, unable to move. We thought it first the flu, but, man, this was different, scarily different.

THIS SICKNESS DIDN’T HOST those bloody, fish-flopping horrors, the in-the-moment car-crash DT jolts lasting days like when I kicked booze cold-turkey in Detroit. But it was equally bad, featuring the same room-dive, cry-out-

for-mom kaleidoscopic delirium, the high fever that would break and rise, break and rise, the hot tears and sweats that came from some place deeper, darker, and more acute than any goddamned flu. That unholy grace in which death feels like the better option. The absolute fear of reliving the horrors of alcohol withdrawal kept me sober more than any 12-step room. So, yeah, this condition was bad.

Both times I thought I was going to die, and had never been sicker, not as a child, not as a grown-up, not even as a teen bike racer down in Culiacan, Mexico when I was too sick to make it to the bathroom and instead just let mud squirts fly onto newspapers spread out below the bed on the hotel-room floor. CONTINUED ON PAGE 6

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“Maybe we should take you to the hospital,” Maggie suggested. Such utterances are difficult for her. She hates hospitals much more than I do; hell, she bucked protocol and escaped early after each of our daughters were born. By the sixth day, I moved to the couch and sop-sweated any fabric I touched. In the next few days I returned to the living, wobbly, fever-y. I was better and could notice the evening light soften the room through the curtains in that lovely, inspiring way. I was relieved to touch my children and wife. I could eat something real. I got better, but I didn’t. The best way to put it is I could not and cannot wake up all the way. Miraculously, no one else got sick in our house. We barely knew what COVID was, but later, months later, doctor consultation confirmed I had contracted the disease. We had no idea. Another doctor said to me last fall, “it’s post-COVID conditions you’re

suffering.” Some “long-term cognitive dysfunction is turning out to be fairly common.” He gave a fancy name to whatever it was I couldn’t explain, at least I got some comfort from the idea that I wasn’t suddenly heading toward the grave. I know I’m alive and am aware I’m not talking about cancer, or some other awful condition suffered by millions of others. I’ve read the COVID long-haul anecdotal studies, the science and cell-damage reports. I hit all the long COVID beats, sense of smell diminished, my ability to concentrate now resembles that of a gnat fly. Get winded on walks, if I can bring myself to walk. Day and night fatigue is ongoing and the attendant inertia shifts any sense of inner despair into overdrive, fictionalizes or amplifies minor sadnesses. In a shameful moment difficult to impart, I sat up on Mount Lemmon one night in my car, debating a cliff dive. The faces of my wife, family and children circling in my head are what drove the car back home. Much of my short-term memory has turned to fog, names, places, dates,

SONORAN EXPLORIN’ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 4

LESS IS MORE In the spirit of this advice, I’ll use section as a brief interlude. I’m not a theater reviewer, and I’m certainly not an opera reviewer. But I was so impressed with this show: the performers, the orchestra, the costumes, the sets and lighting, the direction. I’m grateful that our community is still bursting with art even after the last two difficult years. GOD IS IN THE DETAILS

sure, but a good example is this: My second daughter Zuzu was born in 2021 and I have to ask Maggie the month and day, and her birth was one of the two greatest moments of my life, the other being the day my first daughter emerged. Short-term memory is returning, slowly, but the confidence in my ability to recall plays tricks on it, and any hit to confidence is a despair pileon. The headaches, low-grade fevers rise from nowhere, the little things that need attending don’t get attended to, deadlines are missed. (This piece was supposed to run in last week’s Tucson Weekly, for its COVID anniversary issue, but I couldn’t remember the due date.) It’s like being a drunk again, minus any escape routes. I got the Johnson & Johnson jab, just after that vaccine was released, and last fall contracted COVID a second time. It wasn’t nearly as bad, had me down for a couple days, felt like a vacation next to the first round. I got the booster next, which was said to help long COVID symptoms, but, alas, not much. Answers are few. I take brain supplements to help clear the dead, along with anti-depressants and potent B-heavy vitamins. But what is that old Taoist saying about natural and spontaneous changes and how resisting only creates more sorrow? I went to Vegas and all I got was long COVID, and some recurring sensation of being curled up in darkness. That is that town, and nothing stays there. ■

Before we arrived, I carefully (well, I thought it was carefully) read through an email with parking instructions, which said to park in the Tucson Convention Center parking garage. As we were pulling in, I saw a couple leaving their cars wearing cowboy hats and boots. “How cool it is that Sondheim brings so many different demographics together,” I thought. “The magic of the theater!” Waiting in line to go through metal detectors, which I did not remember the email mentioning, I slowly began realizing everyone in the vicinity was dressed in country clothing. Almost like they were dressed for a country concert. They were. The Tucson Convention Center was hosting a Justin Moore concert that evening. We made it all the way through security and into the building, with me starting to think, “Maybe there are multiple concert halls or arenas within the convention center?” before we had to admit we were in the wrong place. Directions, as readers of my previous columns may have learned, are not my strong point. A Little Night Music was playing at Tucson Music Hall, which was, blessedly, right next door. We walked over and made it to the show right on time. In fact, an attendant said some people had the opposite problem: A few men in cowboy hats had arrived at the Tucson Music Hall looking confused. All’s well that ends well. And now I can say not only that I attended an Arizona Opera Show for the first time, but that I was, technically, inside the Tucson Convention Center for the first time. Sondheim, as I’ve often found him to be, was right about the details. ■

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RECOGNIZING THE YEAR’S WORST IN GOVERNMENT TRANSPARENCY By the Electronic Frontier Foundation and MuckRock EACH YEAR DURING SUNSHINE Week (March 13-19), The Foilies serve up tongue-in-cheek “awards” for government agencies and assorted institutions that stand in the way of access to information. The Electronic Frontier Foundation and MuckRock combine forces to collect horror stories about Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) and state-level public records requests from journalists and transparency advocates across the United States and beyond. Our goal is to identify the most surreal document redactions, the most aggravating copy fees, the most outrageous retaliation attempts, and all the other ridicule-worthy attacks on the public’s right to know. And every year since 2015, as we’re about to crown these dubious winners, something new comes to light that makes us consider stopping the presses. As we were writing up this year’s faux awards, news broke that officials from the National Archives and Records Administration had to lug away boxes upon boxes of Trump administration records from Mar-a-Lago, President Trump’s private resort. At best, it was an inappropriate move; at worst, a potential violation of laws governing the retention of presidential records and the handling of classified materials. And while Politico had reported that when Trump was still in the White House, he liked to tear up documents, we also just learned from journalist Maggie Haberman’s new book

that staff claimed to find toilets clogged up with paper scraps, which were potentially torn-up government records. Trump has dismissed the allegations, of course. This was all too deliciously ironic considering how much Trump had raged about his opponent (and 2016 Foilies winner) Hillary Clinton’s practice of storing State Department communications on a private server. Is storing potentially classified correspondence on a personal email system any worse than hoarding top secret documents at a golf club? Is “acid washing” records, as Trump accused Clinton, any less farcical than flushing them down the john? Ultimately, we decided not to give Trump his seventh Foilie. Technically he isn’t eligible: his presidential records won’t be subject to FOIA until he’s been out of office for five years (releasing classified records could take years, or decades, if ever). Instead, we’re sticking with our original winners, from federal agencies to small town police departments to a couple of corporations, who are all shameworthy in their own rights and, at least metaphorically, have no problem tossing government transparency in the crapper. THE C.R.E.A.M. (CRAP REDACTIONS EVERYWHERE AROUND ME) AWARD: U.S. MARSHALS The Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nothing to F’ with…unless the F stands for FOIA. Back in 2015, Wu-Tang Clan produced Once Upon a Time in Shaolin, but they

only produced one copy and sold it to the highest bidder: pharma-bro Martin Shkreli, who was later convicted of securities fraud. When the U.S. Marshals seized Shkreli’s copy of the record under asset forfeiture rules, the Twitterverse debated whether you could use FOIA to obtain the super secretive album. Unfortunately, FOIA does not work that way. However, BuzzFeed News reporter Jason Leopold was able to use the law to obtain documents about the album when it was auctioned off through the asset forfeiture process. For example, he got photos of the album, the bill of sale, and the purchase agreement. But the Marshals redacted the pictures of the CDs, the song titles and the lyric book, citing FOIA’s trade secrets exemption. Worst of all, they also refused to divulge the purchase price—even though we’re talking about public money. And so here we are, bringing da motherfoia-ing ruckus. (The New York Times would later reveal that PleasrDAO, a collective that collects digital NFT art, paid $4 million for the record.) Wu-Tang’s original terms for selling the album reportedly contained a clause that required the buyer to return all rights in the event that Bill Murray successfully pulled off a heist of the record. We can only daydream about how the Marshals would’ve responded if Dr. Peter Venkman himself refiled Leopold’s request. THE OPERATION SLUG SPEED AWARD: U.S. FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION The federal government’s lightning fast (by bureaucratic standards) timeline to authorize Pfizer’s COVID-19 vaccine lived up to its Operation Warp Speed name. But the Food and Drug Administration gave anything but the same treatment to a FOIA request seeking data about that authorization process. 55 years—that’s how long the FDA, responding to a lawsuit by doctors and health scientists, said it would take to process and release the data it used to authorize the vaccine. And yet, the FDA needed only months to review the data the first time and confirm that the vaccine was safe for the public. The estimate was all the more galling because the requesters want to use the

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documents to help persuade skeptics that the vaccine is safe and effective, a time-sensitive goal as we head into the third year of the pandemic. Thankfully, the court hearing the FOIA suit nixed the FDA’s snail’s pace plan to review just 500 pages of documents a month. In February, the court ordered the FDA to review 10,000 pages for the next few months and ultimately between 50,000-80,000 through the rest of the year. THESE 10-DAY DEADLINES GO TO 11 AWARD: ASSORTED

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MASSACHUSETTS AGENCIES Most records requesters know that despite nearly every transparency law imposing response deadlines, they often are violated more than they are met. Yet Massachusetts officials’ time-warping violations of the state’s 10-business-day deadline take this public records’ reality to absurd new levels. DigBoston’s Maya Shaffer detailed how officials are giving themselves at least one extra business day to respond to requests while still claiming to meet the law’s deadline. In a mind-numbing exchange, an official said that the agency considers any request sent after 5 p.m. to have technically been received on the next business day. And because the law doesn’t require agencies to respond until 10 business days after they’ve received the request, this has in effect given the agency two extra days to respond. So if a request is sent after 5 p.m. on a Monday, the agency counts Tuesday as the day it received the request, meaning the 10-day clock doesn’t start until Wednesday. The theory is reminiscent of the This Is Spinal Tap scene in which guitarist Nigel Tufnel shows off the band’s “special” amplifiers that go “one louder” CONTINUED ON PAGE 8

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THE FOILIES

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to 11, rather than maxing out at 10 like every other amp. When asked why Spinal Tap doesn’t just make the level 10 on its amps louder, Tufnel stares blankly before repeating: “These go to eleven.” Although the absurdity of Tufnel’s response is comedic gold, Massachusetts officials’ attempt to make their 10-day deadline go to 11 is contemptuous, and also likely violates laws of the state and those of space and time. THE RETURN TO SENDER AWARD: VIRGINIA DEL. PAUL KRIZEK There are lawmakers who find problems in transparency laws and advocate for improving the public’s right to know. Then there’s Virginia lawmaker Paul Krizek. Krizek introduced a bill earlier this year that would require all public records requests to be sent via certified mail, saying that he “saw a problem that needed fixing,” according to the Richmond Times-Dispatch. The supposed problem? A records request emailed to Krizek got caught

in his spam filter, and he was nervous that he missed the response deadline. That never happened; the requester sent another email that Krizek saw and he responded in time. Anyone else might view that as a public records (and technology) success story: the ability to email requests and quickly follow up on them proves that the law works. Not Krizek. He decided that his personal spam filter hiccup should require every requester in Virginia to venture to a post office and pay at least $3.75 to make their request. Transparency advocates quickly panned the bill, and a legislative committee voted in late January to strike it from the docket. Hopefully the bill stays dead and Krizek starts working on legislation that will actually help requesters in Virginia. THE SPYING ON REQUESTORS AWARD: FBI If government surveillance of ordinary people is chilling, spying on the public watchdogs of that very same surveillance is downright hostile. Between 1989 and at least 2004, the FBI kept regular tabs on the National Security Archive, a domes-

advocates. Of course, these records that Cato got through its own FOIA request were themselves heavily redacted. And this comes after the FBI withheld information about these records from the Archive when it requested them back in 2006. Which makes you wonder: how do we watchdog the spy who is secretly spying on the watchdog? COURTESY ILLUSTRATION

tic nonprofit organization that investigates and archives information on, you guessed it, national security operations. The Cato Institute obtained records showing that the FBI used electronic and physical surveillance, possibly including wiretaps and “mail covers,” meaning the U.S. Postal Service recorded the information on the outside of envelopes sent to or from the Archive. In a secret 1989 cable, then-FBI Director William Sessions specifically called out the Archive’s “tenacity” in using FOIA. Sessions specifically fretted over former Department of Justice Attorney Quinlan J. Shea and former Washington Post reporter Scott Armstrong’s leading roles at the Archive, as both were major transparency

THE FUTILE SECRECY AWARD: CONCORD POLICE DEPARTMENT When reporters from the Concord Monitor in 2019 noticed a vague $5,100 line item in the Concord Police Department’s proposed budget for “covert secret communications,” they did what any good watchdog would do: They started asking questions. What was the technology? Who was the vendor? And they filed public records requests under New Hampshire’s Right to Know Law. In response, CPD provided a license agreement and a privacy policy, but the documents were so redacted, the reporters still couldn’t tell what the tech was and what company was receiving tax dollars for it. Police claimed releasing CONTINUED ON PAGE 10

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the information would put investigations and people’s lives at risk. With the help of the ACLU of New Hampshire, the Monitor sued but Concord fought it for two years all the way to the New Hampshire Supreme Court. The police were allowed to brief the trial court behind closed doors, without the ACLU lawyers present, and ultimately the state supreme court ruled most of the information would remain secret. But when The Monitor reached out to EFF for comment, EFF took another look at the redacted documents. In under three minutes, our researchers were able to use a simple Google search to match the redacted privacy policy to Callyo, a Motorola Solutions product that facilitates confidential phone communications. Hundreds of agencies nationwide have in fact included the company’s name in their public spending ledgers, according to the procurement research tool GovSpend. The City of Seattle even issued a public privacy impact assess-

ment regarding its police department’s use of the technology, which noted that “Without appropriate safeguards, this raises significant privacy concerns.” Armed with this new information, the Monitor called Concord Police Chief Brad Osgood to confirm what we learned. He doubled-down: “I’m not going to tell you whether that’s the product.” THE HIGHEST FEE ESTIMATE AWARD: PASCO COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE In September 2020, the Tampa Bay Times revealed in a multi-part series that the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office was using a program called “Intelligence-led Policing” (ILP). This program took into consideration a bunch of data gathered from various local government agencies, including school records, to determine if a person was likely to commit a crime in the future—and then deputies would randomly drop by their house regularly to harass them. Out of suspicion that the sheriff’s office might be leasing the formula for this program to other departments, EFF filed a public records request asking for

any contact mentioning the ILP program in emails specifically sent to and from other police departments. The sheriff responded with an unexpectedly highcost estimate for producing the records. Claiming there was no way at all to clarify or narrow the broad request, they projected that it would take 82,738 hours to review the 4,964,278 responsive emails— generating a cost of $1.158 million for the public records requester, the equivalent of a 3,000-square seaside home with its own private dock in New Port Richey. THE RIP VAN WINKLE AWARD: FBI Last year, Bruce Alpert received records from a 12-year-old FOIA request he filed as a reporter for the TimesPicayune in New Orleans. Back when he filed the request, the corruption case of U.S. Rep. William Jefferson, D-New Orleans, was still hot—despite the $90,000 in cash found in Jefferson’s cold freezer. In 2009, Alpert requested documents from the FBI on the sensational investigation of Jefferson, which began in 2005. In the summer of that year, FBI agents searched Jefferson’s Washington home and, according to a story published at

the time, discovered foil-wrapped stacks of cash “between boxes of Boca burgers and Pillsbury pie crust in his Capitol Hill townhouse.” Jefferson was indicted on 16 federal counts, including bribery, racketeering, conspiracy and money laundering, leading back to a multimillion-dollar telecommunications deal with high-ranking officials in Nigeria, Ghana and Cameroon. By the time Alpert got the 83 pages he requested on the FBI’s investigation into Jefferson, Alpert himself was retired and Jefferson had been released from prison. Still, the documents did reveal a new fact about the day of the freezer raid: another raid was planned for that same day, but at Jefferson’s congressional office. This raid was called off after an FBI official, unnamed in the documents, warned that while the raid was technically constitutional, it could have “dire” consequences if it appeared to threaten the independence of Congress. In a staff editorial about the extreme delay, The Advocate (which acquired the Times-Picayune in 2019) quoted Anna Diakun, a staff attorney with the Knight First Amendment Institute at Columbia University: “The Freedom of Information Act is broken.” We suppose it’s better

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*New patients only

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late than never, but never late is even better. THE FOIA GASLIGHTER OF THE YEAR AWARD: LOUISIANA ATTORNEY GENERAL JEFF LANDRY In another case involving the TimesPicayune, the FOIA gaslighter of the year award goes to Louisiana Attorney General Jeff Landry for suing reporter Andrea Gallo after she requested documents related to the investigation into (and seeming lack of action on) sexual harrassment complaints in Landry’s office. A few days later, following public criticism, Landry then tweeted that the lawsuit was not actually a lawsuit against Gallo per se, but legal action “simply asking the Court to check our decision” on rejecting her records request. Gallo filed the original request for complaints against Pat Magee, a top aide to Landry, after hearing rumblings that Magee had been placed on administrative leave. The first response to Gallo’s request was that Magee was under investigation and the office couldn’t fulfill the request until that investigation had concluded. A month later, Gallo called the office to ask for Magee and was patched through to his secretary, who said that Magee had just stepped out for lunch but would be back shortly. Knowing that Magee was back in the office and the investigation likely concluded, Gallo started pushing harder for the records. Then, late on a Friday when Gallo was on deadline for another story, she received an email from the AG’s office about a lawsuit naming her as the defendant. A month later, a Baton Rouge judge ruled in favor of Gallo, and ordered Landry to release the records on Magee. Shortly after Gallo received those docu-

ments, another former employee of the AG’s office filed a complaint against Magee, resulting in his resignation. THE REDACTING INFORMATION THAT’S ALREADY PUBLIC AWARD: HUMBOLDT-AREA LAW ENFORCEMENT Across the country, police departments are notorious for withholding information from the public. Some agencies take months to release body camera footage after a shooting death or might withhold databases of officer misconduct. California’s state legislature pushed back against this trend in 2018, with a new law that specifically puts officer use-of-force incidents and other acts of dishonesty under the purview of the California Public Records Act. But even after this law was passed, one northern California sheriff was hesitant to release information to journalists—so hesitant that it redacted information that had already been made public. After a local paper, the North Coast Journal, filed a request with the Humboldt County Sheriff’s Office under the 2018 law, the sheriff took two full years to provide the requested records. Why the long delay? One possible reason: The agency went to the trouble of redacting information from old press releases—releases that, by definition, were already public. For example, the sheriff’s office redacted the name of a suspect who allegedly shot a sheriff’s deputy and was arrested for attempting to kill a police officer in May 2014–including blacking out the name from a press release the agency had already released that included the suspect’s name. And it’s not like the press had accidentally missed the name the first time: reporter Thadeus Greenson had published the release in

the North Coast Journal right after it came out. That isn’t Greenson’s only example of law enforcement redacting already public information: in response to another public records request, the Eureka Police Department included a series of news clippings, including one of Greenson’s own articles, again with names redacted. THE CLEAR BULLY AWARD: CLEARVIEW AI Clearview AI is the “company that might end privacy as we know,” claimed The New York Times’s front page when it publicly exposed the small company in January 2020. Clearview had built a face recognition app on a database of more than three billion personal images, and the tech startup had quietly found customers in police departments around the country. Soon after the initial reports, the legality of Clearview’s app and its collection of images was taken to court. (EFF has filed friend-of-the-court briefs in support of those privacy lawsuits.) Clearview’s existence was initially revealed via public records requests filed by Open the Government and

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MuckRock. In September 2021, as it faced still-ongoing litigation in Illinois, Clearview made an unusual and worrying move against transparency and journalism: It served subpoenas on OTG, its researcher Freddy Martinez and Chicago-based Lucy Parsons Labs (none of which are involved in the lawsuit). The subpoenas requested internal communications with journalists about Clearview and its leaders and any information that had been discovered via records requests about the company. Government accountability advocates saw it as retaliation against the researchers and journalists who exposed Clearview. The subpoena also was a chilling threat to journalists and others looking to lawfully use public records to learn about public partnerships with private entities. What’s more, in this situation, all that had been uncovered had already been made public online more than a year earlier. Fortunately, following reporting by Politico, Clearview, citing “further reflection about the scope of the subpoenas” and a “strong view of freedom of the press,” decided to withdraw the subpoenas. CONTINUED ON PAGE 12

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THE FOILIES

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We guess you could say the face recognition company recognized their error and did an about face. WHOSE CAR IS IT ANYWAY? AWARD: WAYMO Are those new self-driving cars you see on the road safe? Do you and your fellow pedestrians and drivers have the right to know about their previous accidents and how they handle tight turns and steep hills on the road? Waymo, owned by Google parent Alphabet Inc. and operator of an autonomous taxi fleet in San Francisco, answers, respectively: none of your business, and no! A California trial court ruled in late February that Waymo gets to keep this information secret. Waymo sued the California Department of Motor Vehicles to stop it from releasing unredacted records requested by an anonymous person under the California Public Records Act. The records include Waymo’s application to put its self-driving cars on the road and answers to the DMV’s follow-up questions. The DMV outsourced the redactions to Waymo, and claiming that it needed to protect its trade secrets, Waymo sent the records back with black bars over most of its answers, and even many of the DMV’s questions. Waymo doesn’t want the public to know which streets its cars operate on, how the cars safely park when picking up and dropping off passengers, and when the cars require trained human drivers to intervene. Waymo even redacted which of its two models—a Jaguar and a Chrysler—will be deployed on California streets … even though someone on those streets can see that for themselves. #WNTDWPREA (THE WHAT NOT TO DO WITH PUBLIC RECORDS EVER AWARD): ANCHORAGE POLICE DEPARTMENT “What Not to Do Wednesday,” a social media series from the Anchorage Police Department, had been an attempt to provide lighthearted lessons for avoiding arrest. The weekly shaming session regularly featured seemingly real situations requiring a police response. Last February, though, the agency

COURTESY ILLUSTRATION

became its own cautionary tale when one particularly controversial post prompted community criticism and records requests, which APD declined to fulfill. As described in a pre-Valentine’s Day #WNTDW post, officers responded to a call about a physical altercation between two “lovebirds.” The post claimed APD officers told the two to “be nice” and go on their way, but instead the situation escalated: “we ended up in one big pile on the ground,” and one person was ultimately arrested and charged. Some in the public found the post dismissive toward what could have been a domestic violence event—particularly notable because then-Police Chief Justin Doll had pointed to domestic violence as a contributor to the current homicide rates, which had otherwise been declining. Alaska’s News Source soon requested the name of the referenced arrested individual and was denied. APD claimed that it does not release additional information related to “What Not To Do Wednesday” posts. A subsequent request was met with a $6,400 fee. FWIW, materials related to WNTDW is not a valid exemption under Alaska’s public records law. By the end of February 2021, the APD decided to do away with the series. “I think if you have an engagement strategy that ultimately creates more concern than it does benefit, then it’s no longer useful,” Chief Doll later said. It’s not clear if APD is also applying this logic to its records process. DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO AWARD: TEXAS ATTORNEY GENERAL KEN PAXTON Texas law requires a unique detour to deny or redact responsive records, directing agencies to go through the Attorney General for permission to leave

MARCH 17, 2022

anything out. It’s bad news for transparency if that office circumvents proper protocol when handling its own records requests; it’s even worse if those records involve a government official—current Texas AG Ken Paxton—and activities targeted at overthrowing the democratic process. On Jan. 6, 2021, Paxton (who is currently up for reelection, facing multiple charges for securities fraud, and was reportedly the subject of a 2020 FBI investigation) and his wife were in Washington, D.C. to speak at a rally in support of former President Donald Trump, which was followed by the infamous invasion of the Capitol by Trump supporters. Curious about Paxton’s part in that historic event, a coalition of Texas newspapers submitted a request under the state’s public records law for the text messages and emails Paxton sent that day in D.C. Paxton’s office declined to release the records. It may not have even looked for them. The newspapers found that the AG doesn’t seem to have its own policy for searching for responsive documents on personal devices, which would certainly

be subject to public records law, even if the device is privately owned. The Travis County District Attorney subsequently determined that Paxton’s office had indeed violated the Texas open records law. Paxton maintains that no wrongdoing occurred and, as of late February, hadn’t responded to a letter sent by the DA threatening a lawsuit if the situation is not remedied ASAP. “When the public official responsible for enforcing public records laws violates those laws himself,” Bill Aleshire, an Austin lawyer, told the Austin AmericanStatesman, “it puts a dagger in the heart of transparency at every level in Texas.” THE REMEDIAL EDUCATION AWARD: FAIRFAX COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS Once a FOIA is released, the First Amendment generally grants broad leeway to the requester to do what they will with the materials. It’s the agency’s job to properly review, redact and release records in a timely manner. But after Callie Oettinger and Debra Tisler dug into a series of student privacy breaches

by Fairfax County Public Schools, the school decided the quickest way to fix the problem was to hide the evidence. Last September, the pair received a series of letters from the school system and a high-priced law firm demanding the removal of the documents from the web and they return or destroy the documents. The impulse to try to silence the messenger is a common one: A few years ago Foilies partner MuckRock was on the receiving end of a similar demand in Seattle. While the tactics don’t pass constitutional muster, they work well enough to create headaches and uncertainty for requesters that often find themselves thrust into a legal battle they weren’t looking to fight. In fact, in this case, after the duo showed up for the initial hearing, a judge ordered a temporary restraining order barring the further publication of documents. This was despite the fact that they had actually removed all the personally identifiable data from the versions of the documents they posted. Fortunately, soon after the prior restraint, the requesters received pro bono legal assistance from Timothy

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Sandefur of the Goldwater Institute and Ketan Bhirud of Troutman Pepper. In November—after two months of legal wrangling, negative press, and legal bills for the school—the court found the school’s arguments “simply not relevant” and “almost frivolous,” as the Goldwater Institute noted. ■ The Foilies were compiled by the Electronic Frontier Foundation (Director of Investigations Dave Maass, Senior Staff Attorney Aaron Mackey, Frank Stanton Fellow Mukund Rathi, Investigative Researcher Beryl Lipton, Policy Analyst Matthew Guariglia) and MuckRock (Co-Founder Michael Morisy, Senior Reporting Fellows Betsy Ladyzhets and Dillon Bergin, and Investigations Editor Derek Kravitz), with further review and editing by Shawn Musgrave. Illustrations are by EFF Designer Caitlyn Crites. The Foilies are published in partnership with the Association of Alternative Newsmedia. For more transparency trials and tribulations, check out The Foilies archives at eff. org/issues/foilies.

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Editor’s Note: While we are delighted to see Tucsonans once again gathering for fun events, we are also aware that variants are in circulation. Please consider getting vaccinated against COVID if you haven’t yet. Tohono Chul Spring Plant Sale. Look, whether we like it or not, spring is here, which, to paraphrase John Green, means that soon “the raging, destructive heat will start descending upon us slowly at first, and then all at once.” While we gear up for the hotter months, we can also embrace some of the positive things about the uptick in sunshine, like this annual sale featuring more than 1,200 species of native vegetation. Whether you’re looking for potted plants or specimens to plant in your garden, Tohono Chul has got you covered with plenty to choose from. 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday, March 19, and Sunday, March 20. Tohono Chu Park, 7366 Paseo del Norte. College of Science Lecture Series: Gems and Planetary Evolution. The 2022 science lecture series at the UA is focused on minerals and their importance throughout history and in modern life. This week’s talk by Ananya Mallik, assistant professor of geosciences, is all about gems. The popular kids of the mineral world, gems have been celebrated throughout history for how beautiful they are. But Mallik will talk about how diamonds, jades and rubies provide a way to better understand the evolution and inner layers of Earth. 7 p.m. Thursday, March 17. Attend in person at Centennial Hall (1020 E. University Blvd), or watch virtually at science. arizona.edu. Free. St. Patrick’s Day the Verde Way. Saint Patrick’s Day is on a weeknight this year, and presumably, some of us are going to need to work the next day. So, celebrating over the weekend at the swap meet might be more suitable for some people’s schedules. In addition to all the usual festivities, they’ll have gold coins at the entrance booths, ride

HUB’s Dog Days of Spring – Pup-up at the Park. The HUB’s monthlong celebration of all things dog and ice cream continues this week with a special event at Reid Park (900 S. Randolph Way). The HUB’s vintage ice cream truck will be set up at Miko’s Corner Playground Dog Park and selling ice cream and dog-friendly treats. Such a lovely way for folks and their canines to welcome in spring: a stroll through the park, a scoop of ice cream and a contented hound chowing down on a treat. 3 to 4 p.m. Sunday, March 20. You can also stop by the HUB Ice Cream Parlor (245 E. Congress St.) between 5 and 9 p.m. on Wednesday, March 23, for a buck off of a scoop if you bring your dog, or a free scoop when you bring an item to donate to Pima Animal Care Center. Dog treats will also be for sale, with half of proceeds benefitting PACC.

by Emily Dieckman Huge Flea Market. Wow, the best kind of flea market! I’ve been wondering why they’re called flea markets for about 15 years, and finally looked it up today. Not a total consensus, but the most popular story is that the phrase is the translation of a name for a French market, where the furniture for sale was often infested with fleas. Cute! Anyway, this flea market blessedly does not feature actual fleas, but it does have clothing, shoes, furniture, electronics, small appliances, tools, artwork, books, luggage, collectibles and lots more. 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. Thursday, March 17 through Saturday, March 19. Christ Presbyterian Church, 6565 E. Broadway Blvd.

specials and the all-important verde beer special. As the Irish say, “May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint.” Tanque Verde Swap Meet, 4100 N. Palo Verde Road. 3 to 11 p.m. Friday, March 18. 8 a.m. to 11 p.m. Saturday, March 19. 2 to 10 p.m. Sunday, March 20. Friends of the Pima County Library Members-Only Sale. I read once about an immigrant to the United States who was absolutely blown away by the concept of libraries. I don’t think I realized until that moment how lucky I was to grow up with a library, taking armfuls of books home over the summer, then taking them back to exchange them for more. Anyway, support your local library and snag some books at an unbeatable price. Everything at this sale is halfprice, and if you’re not already a member, you can sign up at the door for just 20 bucks. Then you’ll have access to all the members-only sales throughout the year. The theme of this month’s display is “Banned Books.” 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. 2203 N. Country Club Road. Saturday, March 19.

Hotel Congress St. Patrick’s Day Party. St. Patrick’s Day is about drinking and eating and toasting and dancing and singing and stumbling. You can do all of that at Hotel Congress this year. DJ DC Patty is providing live music, plus more live music TBA, and there’s even Irish dancing. Drink specials include $5 green beer, $6 Guinness Cans and $6 Jameson. Grab corned beef and cabbage, cast iron Irish shepherd’s pie, Irish beer cheese soup or Guinness cupcakes at the Cup Wizarding Out West. Calling all wizards! Trail Dust Town is having a special, event this weekend to celebrate all local wizards and those with an affinity for wizard culture. Café. Or get GUINNESS POUTINE The day will feature thematic activities, shopping, food and drinks, plus the usual lovely (WOW) at the food truck. And don’t selection of rides and shows. A $10 event wristband miss the Great Guinness Toast at 10 (recommended for adults) gets you entry into indoor p.m. 5 p.m. Thursday, March 17. Hotel activities, a potion class sponsored by Bookmans, and Congress, 311 E. Congress St. $5 at the entrance to the petting zoo and rides. The $15 deluxe door. 21+. wristband (recommended for kids and superfans) includes the above, plus a special train ticket, a gold panning bag, a scavenger hunt list and a wizard school acceptance letter. Put on your favorite wizard robes, grab your wands and apparate on over. 3 to 7 p.m. Sunday, March 20. Trail Dust Town, 6541 E. Tanque Verde Road.

MARCH 17, 2022

CHOW

COURTESY PHOTO

“The fire here delivers just a hint of smoke in a cold, raw dish. It’s the most finessed and delicate dish on the menu from a smoke perspective,” said BATA chef Tyler Fenton.

FLAME ON

BATA embraces “the legends and lore of fire” By Matt Russell tucsonweekly@tucsonlocalmedia.com WHILE MANY OF US LEARNED EARLY IN LIFE about the consequences of yelling “fire” in a crowded building, the exclamation has taken residence in the formal and flame-licked lexicon of downtown Tucson’s hottest new restaurant. BATA, the newest concept in Chef Tyler Fenton’s growing hospitality group, was built on what he calls “the legends and lore of fire,” and that began with naming the restaurant. “Our name comes from the word ‘Robata’ which is a Japanese style of cooking over fire, and while we’re not a Japanese restaurant, the name connects our love of fire with our overall approach of pulling from different places and cultures and making it our own,” said Fenton, executive chef and owner of BATA who also owns Reilly Craft Pizza & Drink with two Tucson locations. Fenton’s fire touches every one of the nearly 20 dishes on BATA’s menu, from the ash-roasted beet tartlet with cultured cream on the smaller-scale side to the larger-scale pork loin with charred squash, pecans, and coffee amino. I’m told that the flame factor is adjusted for each dish to complement the texture and flavor profiles of its ingredients. Fenton notes that a few dishes have subtle expressions of fire, such as the beef tartare garnished with a fermented and flame-dried green onion powder. “The fire here delivers just a hint of smoke in a cold, raw dish,” he said. “It’s the most finessed and delicate dish on the menu from a smoke perspective.” Facing down finesse on the opposite end of the fire frequency are dishes that he calls “bold and in-your-face,” like the grilled pork belly with a sauce made from several ingredients that are literally burned in the fireplace. “This one definitely delivers plenty of smokey depth,” he said.

Fresh vegetables play central roles on many of the plates. In fact, it’s Fenton’s opinion that a fire-cooked carrot has as much appeal as a beautifully grilled steak. Given his love affair with root vegetables, it’s no surprise that a chewy carrot with ajo blanco and cilantro, and a turnip tostada with nopales escabeche and herbs, are dishes in and of themselves. To end the evening, Fenton is offering several confections of conflagrant magnitude, including sourdough ice cream with whey granita and hearth-dried dates and chocolate mousse with a smoked almond tart and Arizona olive oil. The building that BATA calls home, in the heart of downtown’s Warehouse Arts District, was built as a supply warehouse in the 1930s. It was later transformed into commercial offices and, more recently, a community arts space. Fenton and his team have since commissioned a fundamental redesign of the space featuring original wood and metal bow truss ceilings contrasted with contemporary touches like a shou sugi ban soffit made from…wait for it… heavily charred wood. Yes, even the décor and building materials are inspired by fire. In addition to the main dining room, the restaurant offers a private dining room that seats 14 guests, a larger event space accommodating 40 guests, and a basement bar, called BAR BATA, that’s expected to open in May. Located at 35 E. Toole Avenue, BATA is open Sundays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays from 5 to 9 p.m., and Fridays and Saturdays from 5 to 10 p.m. Additional information is at www.BataTucson.com. Benjamin Franklin once said, “A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire.” Knowing what I know about BATA, I may have found my home away from home. ■ Contact Matt Russell, whose day job is CEO of Russell Public Communications, at mrussell@russellpublic.com. Russell is also the publisher of OnTheMenuLive.com as well as the host of the Friday Weekend Watch segment on the “Buckmaster Show” on KVOI 1030 AM. Disclosure: BATA is a client of Russell Public Communications.

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MUSIC

CULTURE SHOCK

Tucson Hip Hop Festival returns to the stage after two years By Jeff Gardner jeff@tucsonlocalmedia.com THERE SEEMS TO BE NO LIMIT TO

the amount of influence the Southwest has on the arts. Even through two years of relative isolation, the Tucson hip hop community continued to expand and develop. And now, the Tucson Hip Hop Festival is planned to return this weekend with little change, still celebrating music, art and culture as it did in 2019. Although the Tucson Hip Hop Festival has been postponed for two years, it is returning with dozens of performers from both Tucson and across the nation. There are also panels, workshops and competitions at 191 Toole and the University of Arizona. Festival director Pike Romero says the goal for THHF has always been to

focus on all the elements of hip hop. Beyond the plenty of music performed across seven stages, the festival includes breakdancing, graffiti artwork, networking, and panel talks on the history, politics and religion found in the scene. “That’s what hip hop is, that’s what it was birthed out of. These elements came together and were recognized as parts of the same culture,” Romero said. “People focus on the rap as being the main aspect of hip hop culture, but it is so much bigger than that. It’s something you live and you do.” The festival takes place Saturday, March 19, and Sunday, March 20. Day one takes over concert venue 191 Toole. One of the year’s headliners is New York City duo Smif-N-Wessun, who broke into the scene in the mid-’90s

PHOTO BY JULIUS SCHLOSBURG

with a blend of East Coast hip hop and reggae influence. The second headliner is emcee and producer Che Noir, marking the first female headliner at the festival. Arizona performers come from Phoenix, Sierra Vista, and plenty from Tucson. Romero says the festival works with an open-submission system for performers. Many from this year’s lineup came from the hundreds of applications they received before the canceled 2020 festival. “We’ve given people their first shows, based on how unique their style is from their application. We’ve taken chances on performers, and it’s turned out great,” Romero said. “And there’s a whole team of people who have been here forever, and are respected in their field… We ask: Who can we celebrate? It’s a balance of up-and-coming talent and people we want to throw flowers.” Day two takes place at the University of Arizona Poetry Center with four panel discussions. The first panel, which features multiple UA professors, centers around religion, cultural diversity and justice in hip hop. The second panel discusses “traversing the urban environment” and graffiti. The third panel is about what it takes to make it in the music industry. The final panel is about music streaming and digital marketing. “The UA’s Africana Studies has been with us and supporting us since 2016. They also get to talk about their

Tucson Hip Hop Festival Saturday, March 19, and Sunday, March 20 Day one at 191 Toole Day two at UA Poetry Center, 1508 E. Helen St. tucsonhiphopfestival.com

program at the UA,” Romero said. “It’s kind of evolved into what it is today. We’re loving the fact that we get to showcase such a diverse range of styles.” Romero says people can be surprised with how much hip hop is in Tucson, especially for a city famous for other types of music and art. But the dozens of local artists ready to take the stage, mic in hand, proves the scene is strong. However, the question remains: Does Tucson hip hop have a specific sound? “It’s hard to answer that because we’re sort of a city of transplants. And a lot of the music here isn’t so much the sound of the production, but the lyrics and words and emotion that represents the Southwest,” Romero said. “But there’s a thriving scene here. It energizes people to get out of their comfort zone and connect.” ■ For more information, visit tucsonhiphopfestival.com

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By Xavier Omar Otero tucsoneditor@tucsonlocalmedia.com

MARK YOUR CALENDARS… THURSDAY, MARCH 17 “Damn Right I’ve Got the Blues.” Born in Lettsworth, Louisiana, the son of sharecroppers, this storied Chicago bluesman picked cotton for $2.50 per 100 pounds while learning to play the guitar on a two-string diddley bow he made. By the 1960s he rose to become the house guitarist at fabled Chess Records. By bending new curves into a blue note, his innovative style influenced Hendrix, Page, Richards, Clapton and more. Rock & Roll Hall of Famer Buddy Guy holds court. At Rialto Theatre… Mining a rocky field of sound strewn with sparkly guitars and opalescent synths, these alt-rockers formed in Tempe in 2007. Frontman John O’Callaghan tells Alternative Press how the anxiety witnessed throughout the world during quarantine influenced the writing process on XOXO: From Love and Anxiety in Real Time (2021). “The idea of the world coming to a halt minimized a lot of the talk. It became more like, ‘Let’s create instead of talk about creating.’” The Maine. At 191 Toole… In the expanse between the fertile soil of East Africa’s EDM club scene and that of the less-cultivated metal underground emerges Duma. On their self-titled debut album (2020), death growl vocalist Martin Khanja and producer/ guitarist Sam Karugu cross-fertilize spermatozoa—the darkly atmospheric techno menace of Perc with the sonic doom of Sunn O)))—to spawn lethal tracks of feral intensity forever expanding the boundaries of African metal. The Guardian opines, “[These] extreme Kenyan metalheads bring doom to the dancefloor.” Duma. At Club Congress… This L.A. DJ/producer’s big booty

shaking bass and techno are certified party starters. FreakOn headlines Electronic St. Patty’s Day. With Westcoast go-go crew the AfterGlow Dancers. At The Rock… Fiddler Billy Shaw Jr. and his band of merry cohorts put the “luck of the Irish” to the test. At Whiskey Roads… Specializing in Celtic-inspired music, Cleavers & Clovers perform once a year to observe the death of the patron saint of Ireland. At Tap + Bottle (downtown)… FRIDAY, MARCH 18 A first-generation Swede—his Argentinian parents fled from a rightwing junta in their native land—indie folk singer José González first rose to prominence in the early aughts fronting Junip. Recorded at his home studio near the coast of the North Sea in a lush forest of birch and pine, Local Valley (2021)—the first album where he sings in English, Spanish, and Swedish—again finds González alone with a nylon-stringed Spanish guitar. Immersing himself in an array of books by some of the world’s most august thinkers, González tells NPR, “Many of the songs have a crystal-clear, secular humanist agenda: anti-dogma, pro-reason. There’s no political agenda. The focus is on underlying worldviews, and on our existential questions as smart apes on a quest to understand ourselves and our place in the cosmos.” José González. At Rialto Theater… Experience a dynamic array of chamber music’s best artists. Anchored by the esteemed Dover Quartet, Arizona Friends of Chamber Music present the Tucson Winter Chamber Music Festival. Runs through March 20. At Leo Rich Theater… Maestro José Luis Gomez leads the Tucson Symphony Orchestra through The Splendor of Brahms. In the first of two performances. At Tucson Music Hall… From the streets of New Jersey to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, this Grammy and Tony Award-winning musical brings the story of Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons to life. Jersey Boys. Runs through March 22. At Centennial Hall… Reflecting on his surroundings with a sharp pen, on Freewave 3 (2019), Westside

Chicago underground rapper Lucki takes an unflinching look at his struggles with addiction (tagging himself a fiend) and dysfunctional relationships. After moving from Chicago to NYC to be with a woman, in a dispassionate and slurred voice, on “More Than Ever” Lucki raps, “I know she ain’t loyal, but she makes me better.” Lucki. 2 Neptune N Back Tour. At 191 Toole… Mashing together music and visual art, this installment of Speakeasy pairs indie rockers Female Gaze with artist Ruben Urrea Moreno. At Habitation Realty… Gypsy jazz ensemble ZAZU West salutes Django Reinhardt. At The Century Room… SATURDAY, MARCH 19 With poisonous flowers strewn through their hair, Flor de Toloache formed a sisterhood in 2008, emerging as NYC’s first and only all-female mariachi. Their sophomore release Las Caras Lindas (2017) won a Latin Grammy award for best ranchero/mariachi album, breathing new life into a too often staid and testosterone permeated genre. Florecita Rock-ERA (2022)—an album of reinterpreted classic Latin rock anthems—finds these intrepid aventureras swapping out their embroidered bolero jackets for studded black leather. Flor de Toloache. At Fox Tucson Theatre… Representing the four elements of hip hop considered to be its pillars—deejaying (“turntabling”), rapping (“emceeing”), graffiti painting (“tagging”) and break dancing (“B-boying”), THHF is a celebration of hip hop culture in the Southwest. Smif-N-Wessun and Che Noir top a bill featuring over 100 “Carvin Jones is a young cat out of Phoenix who I think is the next up-and-coming blues player” - Eric Clapton

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acts. Tucson Hip Hop Festival 2022: 2 Days, 7 Stages, 2 Locations. At 191 Toole and UA Poetry Center… Growing up in Houston, rapper Mike Jones was close with his grandmother. In an interview with the Houston Press, Jones credits her with giving him the ideas to pursue rap and to write songs for strippers. Mike Jones. At Club 4th Avenue… Bluesman Carvin Jones sets his Stratocaster ablaze. At The Rock… This South Carolina sextet christened themselves Marshall Tucker after finding a keyring with the piano tuner’s name emblazoned on it in an old rehearsal space. Over the course of a career spanning five decades, they helped popularize Southern rock in the 1970s. The Marshall Tucker Band. 50th Anniversary Tour. At Tucson Music Hall. With special guest Dave Mason… Portland post-punks Soft Kill’s latest, Dead Kids R.I.P. City (2020), depicts a desolate city where a post-punk underground scene once thrived. Soft Kill. At Club Congress… After struggling to obtain a visa for years, Mexican reggaeton rapper José Luis Maldonado Ramos, vowed that he would not return to the U.S. until Donald Trump no longer occupied the presidency. C-Kan: Mi canción USA Tour. At Encore… Songstress Gabrielle Pietrangelo performs two sets outdoors. At Hotel Congress Plaza… Commemorating 28 years of sun scorched fury, Greyhound Soul circle the wagons. At Che’s Lounge… Lap-slide, fingerstyle blues, gritty twang guitarist Joe Novelli adds his own original high-octane twist to American roots music. At MotoSonora Brewing Company… CONTINUED ON PAGE 18

The Ultimate Rock n Blues Party Of the Year

Saturday, March 19th, 2022

The Rock 136 N. Park Avenue, Tucson, AZ 8:00 PM - 11:00 PM

www.carvinjones.com

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XOXO

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The After Hours Quintet perform straight ahead and contemporary jazz. Flor de Toloache After Party. At The Century Room… Mr. Crowley: A Tribute to Ozzy cover the hits. At House of Bards… SUNDAY, MARCH 20 “I’ve joked in the past that if you take Noel Gallagher (Oasis) and Trent Reznor (NIN) then a Bob Moses song is somewhere in the middle,” Jimmy Vallance tells Euphoria. While the world stood still, Vancouver-bred electronic duo Bob Moses were in pre-production. “During the pandemic we really dove into some of our favorite records. Tears for Fears’ Songs From the Big Chair is one of the best blends of rock and dance ever released. U2’s Achtung Baby is another.” Eager to share A Silence in Between (2022), Tom Howie enthuses, “We’ve been working hard on putting together a setlist for this tour. We mix songs live like a DJ would, [except] with a full band. It creates this awesome dynamic energy.” Bob Moses. At Rialto Theater… As a youth, Canadian country singer Corb Lund felt apprehensive about the church. In an interview with Gigcity, he explains. “At the time, I thought, ‘Well, I don’t like doing chores, either. It’s just something you’ve got to do.’ As it turns out, my instincts were correct. I’m definitely not religious.” Corb Lund. At 191 Toole… Brooklyn art punks, bring their latest, Audio Drag For Ego Slobs (2021). Gustaf. At Club Congress. Tucson’s Weekend Lovers open the show… Blues singer Amanda Fish turns a spark into flame. With Bad News Blues Band. Congress Cookout. At Hotel Congress Patio… New Orleans garage-psych crew Silver Synthetic are on the road promoting their self-titled album debut. At Groundworks… MONDAY, MARCH 21 In what has been described as a “bizarro” yet “brilliant sequel” to 2007’s Colors—

grafting together an unholy union of gospel and thrash, ragtime and bossa nova— Between the Buried and Me’s Colors II (2021) stands as an epic work. But striving to reach the high-water mark set by Colors was no easy task. Kerrang named the album one of the 21 best metalcore albums of all time. “You feel the internal pressure. It’s a gut feeling. [It’s] like, ‘Fuck man, if we don’t knock it out of the park, the rug could get pulled out from under us.’” Between The Buried And Me. Human Is Hell Tour. At 191 Toole… TUESDAY, MARCH 22 After changing their name from Glut Trip to Clutch—telling fans that it stood for City/State Liberation Union To Cleanse Humanity—these Maryland stoner rockers began to gain popularity with their debut release Transnational Speedway League: Anthems, Anecdotes and Undeniable Truths (1993). Metal Hammer described the album as “a stark reminder of just how good angry music could sound.” In an interview with Psychology Today, frontman Neil Fallon casts light on his songwriting process. “I’ve always been attracted to the idea of a tall tale. But any story, take myth for example, may be filled with half-truths.” On 2018’s Book of Bad Decisions (the band’s 12th studio album), they “Release the Kraken.” Clutch. At Rialto Theater… These agents of chaos unleash their brand of crushing doom metal. YOB. At Club Congress… WEDNESDAY, MARCH 23 Blues is about struggle, sadness and despair tempered by the redemptive voice of gospel. On “Kiss Of Death” (off of 2013’s Midnight Blue) Tinsley Ellis adds in melodrama. “If I can’t have you baby, I might as well drink gasoline.” A “bona fide, worldwide guitar hero,” while in his youth—before discovering “The King of the Blues” BB King—his ears were captivated by the roar of the British Invasion and “tied to the whipping post” Southern rockers. Tinsley Ellis. Devil May Care Tour. At 191 Toole… Until next week, XOXO

MARCH 17, 2022

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MARCH 17, 2022

BALANCING ACT

Vets have a new group where they can find resources and medical marijuana

By David Abbott tucsoneditor@tucsonlocalmedia.com ONLINE PRO-CANNABIS VETERANS’ groups have grown throughout the twoyear pandemic, even though the Veterans Administration hides behind bureaucracy to deny medical marijuana to wounded warriors. Here in Arizona, the Balanced Veterans Network seeks to provide a safe community for vets as well as “education, advocacy, and empowerment of alternative therapies for veterans.” The group will be on hand for the upcoming Cannafriends event on March 24 in an effort to reach Tucson veterans searching for help. “Last year, I started looking into BVN,” said Jen Baxter, ambassador and team coordinator for the Arizona chapter of the organization. “Their mission was everything I had embodied for myself starting several years prior: mental wellness, movement, community.”

She was so in tune with the organization’s message that she recently stepped into her ambassador role in order to help get the message out to fellow vets who might be suffering in the wake of their service. Baxter came to BVN after joining another nonprofit known as the 1620 Project (the organizations have since merged into BVN) that helps veterans learn about and gain access to the medicine that can often be a life-saver when vets have otherwise given up hope. Her story is a familiar one for U.S. military veterans. After serving her country faithfully for 14 years, she was given a medical discharge and became enmeshed in the VA healthcare system that tends to solve health and mental wellness problems with pharmaceuticals. An Air Force veteran, Baxter served in the security forces career field and was injured after serving more than 10 years. As a first responder, she was also exposed to incidents that led to post-traumatic stress

disorder that she wrestles with to this day. After a series of unsuccessful operations on her foot and back, she was placed on a heavy regimen of painkillers and sent to an evaluation board to determine if she was still capable of fulfilling her job duties. After two-and-a-half years of medication and unsuccessful treatments, she was deemed “unfit” to continue and offered full retirement in 2012. Unfortunately, that was just the beginning of her struggles with opiate dependency. For the next four years, Baxter was trapped in an addiction cycle that led to weight gain and depression that almost made her give up. “The military does a wonderful job of building you up, grooming you and preparing you, training and everything to get you to where you need to be for them,” she said. “Then they give you a one-week transition course and teach you how to write a résumé and what cologne to wear, what clothes to wear and what not to wear. Then they give you a thank you note and send you on your way.” By 2015 she could barely drag herself out of bed to even go to the bathroom and was tipping the scales at about 230 pounds. The VA was treating Baxter with a cocktail of opiates for pain, depression and PTSD, including morphine and

Jen Baxton

oxycodone, to the tune of hundreds of pills a month. “I’d get my prescriptions, get in my car, pop two or three oxys in my mouth, throw it back with some Red Bull and then be on my way,” she said. “By the time I stopped taking them, I was going through 480 pills in 21 days, because I had learned that I could use the morphine to hold off the withdrawals.” CONTINUED ON PAGE 22

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BALANCING ACT

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It was getting so bad for her that she would start every morning with four pills for breakfast and have to pop more every four to six hours every day. By then, the Syracuse, New York, native was living in rural Missouri. She joined a bowling league in Fort Leavenworth, Kansas, just so she could get out of the house. As she socialized, a friend noticed a change in Baxter and suggested a diet and workout program. Baxter was “digging deep” and wanted to do improve her mental and physical health. It was around then that Baxter found the 1620 Project, which helped her find an alternative to opiates and antidepressants. “It was bad,” she remembers. “I just looked sick and everything about me was unhealthy.” In March 2016, Baxter decided she had enough and circled a date on the calendar to begin the regimen that would eventually save her life. Slowly, things began to change. She stuck with the new diet, continued to exercise regimen and started writing a journal. She also used morphine and cannabis to wean herself from the oxycodone that was

taking her down. The biggest move for Baxter was the day she took her pills back to the VA after bringing home a bag of prescriptions she never opened. “I think I had 900 pills total, and took them to the VA,” she said. “I had an appointment with my provider and said I am in crisis mode and need to get these out of my house because I’ve stopped taking them.” Her doctor was perplexed and did not know how to react beyond offering “muscle relaxers or something.” Baxter eventually convinced her doctor that she was serious about ending her dependency and, after being referred to four or five different people, took the pills to the VA police who watched her open every bottle and dump them into a charcoal bin. “So here I am with my backpack full of drugs that I could have taken into Leavenworth, Kansas, and sold for thousands of dollars,” she said. “The pharmacy people are looking at me like I’m crazy, but I knew if I went home it would not be good.” Baxter moved from Missouri—where she had to procure her medicine on the alternative market—to San Diego, but eventually made her way to Gilbert, where she has social support and easier access to cannabis. Despite all the progress she’s

made, she still has long-lasting issues to deal with, but having a community and a mission has helped her cope with her dayto-day life. “One of the most frustrating things is, because I look healthier, people think I don’t have pains, I don’t have PTSD issues, I don’t have sleep problems,” she said. “It’s frustrating and almost like the system that we’re in wants you to be sick. If you don’t look sick, they say well, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why don’t you go make a living?” In 2017, she joined up with the 1620 Project and has since made the transition to the BVN, a “peer-to-peer network” that partners with “professionals, businesses and other organizations to support veterans and their families to live a better, more balanced life,” according to its mission statement. While they don’t see medication as the end-all, be-all for veterans, they advocate for medical marijuana access in order to “combat the alarming issues like the suicide and opioid epidemic and the difficult time navigating transition out of the military.” “When you retire, you lose so much of your identity and everything that you’ve known, whether it’s four years or 24 years, it doesn’t matter, you lose this huge thing,”

Baxter said. BVN has also helped Tucson resident and Navy veteran Lewis Hapeman, who comes from a military family that goes back to the Civil War, where his greatgreat-great grandfather received a Medal of Honor. Hapeman’s service was cut short, but he still suffers with ailments connected to his service, such as COPD and lung damage due to asbestos. He has lived on the verge of homelessness at times in his life, but a few years ago became involved with the 1620 Project, which has helped him gain access to cannabis and get other necessary equipment. Like many other veterans, Hapeman dealt with over-prescription of opiates and had his own fight with addiction. “BVN gives you the vibe that you can be who you are and they don’t allow judgment,” he said. “They don’t allow any bullshit.” What it really comes down to though, is the community and balanced approach to life that can be achieved within a group sharing similar goals. “Veterans need to have a sense of purpose, we need to have something greater than ourselves to give into,” Baxter said. “I show people I love them by doing things for them and it just fills my cup so much

MARCH 17, 2022

to know that I can make an impact in other veterans’ lives, to show them there is a community here for them.” Among the benefits of joining BVN, are monthly drawings for health and wellness equipment and even starter grow kits to help vets grow their own medicine. The nonprofit has tiered levels of paid membership as well as a free version for those who can’t afford to pay. For more information, go to balancedveterans.com, or check out the Facebook page at www.facebook.com/balancedveterans. To find out more about BVN in a cannabis-friendly, social atmosphere, sign up for the next Cannafriends gathering, taking place at Annabelle Studio, 630 E. Ninth St.,

on Thursday, March 24, from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. In addition to vendors on hand with their wares, there will also be an expungement clinic hosted by Arizona NORML for those with minor pot infractions of up to 2.5 ounces of flower, 12.5 grams of concentrates, six plants or paraphernalia. Tickets for the event are $20 and can be found on EventBright by searching Tucson Cannafriends. For more information, contact Amethyst Kinney, Cannafriends Regional Director, at amethyst@azcannafriend ■

TUCSON AREA DISPENSARIES Bloom Tucson. 4695 N. Oracle Road, Ste. 117 293-3315; bloomdispensary.com Open: Daily 9a.m. - 10p.m. Botanica. 6205 N. Travel Center Drive 395-0230; botanica.us Open: 10 a.m. to 7 p.m., daily Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center. 8060 E. 22nd St., Ste. 108 886-1760; dbloomtucson.com Open: 7 a.m. to 10 p.m., daily Offering delivery Downtown Dispensary. 221 E. 6th St., Ste. 105 838-0492; thedowntowndispensary.com Open: 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., daily D2 Dispensary. 7105 E 22nd St. 214-3232; d2dispensary.com/ Open: 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., daily Earth’s Healing. Two locations: North: 78 W. River Road 253-7198 South: 2075 E. Benson Highway 373-5779 earthshealing.org Open: Monday through Saturday from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.; Sundays from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Offering delivery The Green Halo. 7710 S. Wilmot Road 664-2251; thegreenhalo.org Open: Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m.; Monday, Tuesday and Friday from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. and Saturday, 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Hana Green Valley. 1732 W. Duval Commerce Point Place 289-8030 Open: Monday through Saturday from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m.; Sunday from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Harvest of Tucson . 2734 East Grant Road 314-9420; askme@harvestinc.com; Harvestofaz. com Open: 7 a.m. to 10 p.m., daily Nature Med. 5390 W. Ina Road 620-9123; naturemedaz.com Open: 8 a.m. to 10 p.m., daily The Prime Leaf Two locations: 4220 E. Speedway Blvd. 1525 N. Park Ave. 44-PRIME; theprimeleaf.com Open: Monday through Saturday from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m.; Sunday from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Purple Med Healing Center. 1010 S. Freeway, Ste. 130 398-7338; www.facebook.com/PurpleMedHealingCenter Open: Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m.; Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m.; Sunday from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Southern Arizona Integrated Therapies. 112 S. Kolb Road 886-1003; medicalmarijuanaoftucson.com Open: 10 a.m. to 7 p.m., daily

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MARCH 17, 2022

SAVAGE LOVE

AGE AGAINST THE MACHINE

By Dan Savage, mail@savagelove.net

I have a problem. (How’s that for an opener?) I’m a 60-something cis woman with a 30-something cis man lover. The problem is my vagina is extremely tight. Also, sometimes I bleed a little bit after PIV and then urinating burns, but only briefly. We are only able to hook-up about every other week, so frequency isn’t going to “stretch me out.” I had previously been diagnosed with vaginal atrophy, which for many women can result in pain during PIV intercourse. We’ve been using Uberlube with silicone, which has helped but it still gets painful. Any suggestions? I’ve been on an estradiol vaginal insert for three months, which helps my overall dryness but not PIV so much, although he has said I feel softer inside. I could really use some help because as much as I love having sex with him, I’m going to have to pause PIV altogether due to my discomfort. I also will say that before him it had been 17 years since I’d had sex. I find this embarrassing to admit, but it may be information that will help you answer my questions. —Age-Gap Enhancing Intense Sexual Treats P.S. He propositioned me. I was initially mortified but I have since overcome my ageist bias against relationships with large age gaps. Oh, and last night I experienced the “luxurious” sensation of having my anus licked for the first time! “Vaginal atrophy is very common in women and people with vaginas, and it can make not just PIV but any type of penetration painful,” said Dr. Lori Brotto, a clinical psychologist, author, and sex researcher at the University of British Columbia. “And while Uberlube is a fantastic external lubricant that makes sex more comfortable, it does nothing to moisturize the vagina.” Dr. Brotto says your hunch—that more frequent penetration might help—is correct, but you don’t have to wait for your lover to return to experience it. “There are well-known advantages to regular vaginal dilation for people who have not had penetration in a long time,” said Dr. Brotto. “So, I would recommend that in between the times AGEIST has sex with her partner, she uses a dilator—or uses a dildo—to engage in solo vaginal penetration. She should do it at least once per week, with copious amounts of lubricant, and use it while fantasizing or enjoying erotica, to stimulate her mind’s arousal.”

You don’t have to simulate fucking with a dilator or a dildo (and a dilator in this case is just a dildo by another name); instead, gently insert the lubed-up dilator, remember to breathe, and then—once it’s all the way in—read some erotica or watch some porn. And then, if you’re feeling it, masturbate to climax. And then, when you’re with your lover, do the same but with his dick. Get his P in your V without it being about his pleasure. It’s about yours. When you do feel ready to let him fuck you, don’t feel obligated to endure it until he finishes. Only let him fuck you for as long as it feels comfortable and/or good for you, and then pivot to something else you both enjoy if he hasn’t finished. Dr. Brotto also suggested that you talk to your gynecologist about switching to a different vaginal estrogen delivery system—there are tablets, creams, and rings in addition to the inserts you’re using—while at the same time adjusting your dose. “She also might also consider seeing a pelvic floor physiotherapist in case some of the discomfort is arising from pelvic floor tightness,” said Dr. Brotto. “Pelvic floor physiotherapists have very effective exercises to deal with vaginal pain. Additionally, some positions can create more pain in an already painful vagina, so AGEIST and her lover should try different positions. And since the length and girth of a partner’s penis can also be a contributing factor, some couples use OhNut (www. ohnut.co), which are a series of rings that can be placed at the base of the shaft of the penis to reduce the length.” It’s also important that you’re feeling aroused—not feeling dread—when your lover is on his way over. Knowing you can look forward to what works for you and makes you feel good, and knowing that he doesn’t expect you to grin and bear what doesn’t (even if that means taking PIV off the menu for now), will not only be the best way to make sure you feel relaxed and aroused, but it’s also the quickest way to get PIV back on the menu. Good luck. Follow Dr. Lorri Brotto on Twitter @ DrLoriBrotto. And you can see Dr. Brotto in the new Netflix docuseries, The Principles of Pleasure, which premieres on March 22. (The first episode focuses on the erogenous parts of a woman’s anatomy, AGEIST, and Dr. Brotto suggests you watch it with your partner!) P.S. No need to put “luxurious” in scare quotes when you’re talking about anilingus!

I’ve been dating the same guy on-and-off for 20 years. I met him in my 20s, I’m now in my 40s. Even though we’re nothing alike—I’m kinky and adventurous, he’s vanilla and extremely vanilla—we always come back together. The problem is, any time we have the slightest disagreement, he stops talking to me, usually for weeks, sometimes for months. The last time it happened was when I moved a year ago. He was helping but he snapped at me because he didn’t hear my directions, and I got upset. He didn’t speak to me for 11 months! I reached out to him repeatedly, but he only responded recently. So, we made plans to meet. But when I call him to ask when he’s picking me up, he says, “I forgot I had other plans tonight”! It’s an event I’m not allowed to attend, because “he’ll be working,” but his ex-girlfriend is coming. It’s fine for her to be there, but not me, the person he’s known for 20 years! I got mad, of course, and asked him to call me after the event. And he didn’t. I can’t show any disapproval without him ignoring me indefinitely, and even though it’s always been this way, it still hurts. Months of silence for something that wasn’t even a full-on argument seems extreme, and I have no idea why he does this. I’m just trying to figure him out. —Infuriatingly Mysterious Silences After Disagreements You can’t make a long-term relationship work with someone who responds to routine conflict—the kind of conflicts you’ll face almost daily in any relationship lasting longer than a weekend—with months of the silent treatment. Well, maybe a person can make a relationship with someone like that work; you’ve been making this work for 20 years, IMSAD. My point is, you shouldn’t try to make a relationship like that work. You’re wasting a lot of time and emotional energy trying to figure out a guy who really isn’t that hard to figure out. I mean, the Nancy Drew novelization of this mystery would have just one page, IMSAD, and it would be the title page: The Not At All Mysterious Case of the On-Again, Off-Again Boyfriend Who Is an Asshole and Whose Number You Should Block and Delete. So, stop calling this asshole, stop sitting by the phone waiting for this asshole to call you, stop fucking this asshole when he shows up, stop thinking about fucking this asshole when he’s off sulking and/or fucking someone else. The effort you’re putting into making this relationship work would be much better spent trying to find a guy who isn’t an asshole and who shares your kinks. My boyfriend and I have been together

for six years. We have a great relationship, he’s very caring and thoughtful and we survived the pandemic together, so I think we’re very compatible. I’m in my late 30s now, and I’m starting to realize that time is running out if I ever want a baby. The problem: my boyfriend is 30 years older than me. If he were 45, he would be a great dad, but it doesn’t seem fair to have a child with a man who is almost 70. He doesn’t have children from his previous marriage so this would be his first. Should I let go of the man I love to see what else is out there and find someone more suited to a future that hopefully includes a child? Or do I take the plunge with my boyfriend and hope for the best? —Tick Tock Bio Clock Let’s say dump the old man you love— an old man who could live for another 20 years—to go find a younger man. How long would that take, TTBC? A year? Two? Because it’s not just a guy closer to your own age you need. You have to find a guy you like, a guy who wants children and wants them soon, and then date that guy long enough to fall in love with him. And then you’re going to have to live with that guy long enough to know you aren’t going to fall out of love with him anytime soon. And if it doesn’t work out—if the first guy you pick isn’t the right guy—you’re gonna have to start all over again. And before you know it, TTBC, you’re 50. As I see it, TTBC, you have three possible choices/likely outcomes to choose from here: having to get out there and find a new guy who wants a kid, having to date as a widowed single parent if your current boyfriend dies while your child is still young, or having to date as a single parent if the relationship you rushed into with some 30-something dude you barely knew after dumping the 60-something man you loved didn’t work out. In your shoes, TTBC, I would go with the guy I’ve got—the known quantity— over a stranger I hadn’t met, might never meet, or might come to regret meeting. P.S. You don’t mention discussing this with your boyfriend. Does he wanna have a child? That seems… germane. questions@savagelove.net Listen to Dan on the Savage Lovecast. Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage. Columns, podcasts, books, merch and more at www.savage.love!

MARCH 17, 2022

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

By Rob Brezsny. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 $1.99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone required.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Singer, dancer, and comedian Sammy Davis Jr. disliked the song “The Candy Man,” but he recorded it anyway, heeding his advisors. He spent just a brief time in the studio, finishing his vocals in two takes. “The song is going straight to the toilet,” he complained, “pulling my career down with it.” Surprise! It became the best-selling tune of his career, topping the Billboard charts for three weeks. I suspect there could be a similar phenomenon (or two!) in your life during the coming months, Aries. Don’t be too sure you know how or where your interesting accomplishments will arise. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I love author Maya Angelou’s definition of high accomplishment, and I recommend you take steps to make it your own in the coming weeks. She wrote, “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” Please note that in her view, success is not primarily about being popular, prestigious, powerful or prosperous. I’m sure she wouldn’t exclude those qualities from her formula, but the key point is that they are all less crucial than self-love. Please devote quality time to refining and upgrading this aspect of your drive for success. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “I’m not fake in any way,” declared Gemini actor Courteney Cox. On the face of it, that’s an amazing statement for a Gemini to make. After all, many in your tribe are masters of disguise and shapeshifting. Cox herself has won accolades for playing a wide variety of characters during her film and TV career, ranging from comedy to drama to horror. But let’s consider the possibility that, yes, you Geminis can be versatile, mutable, and mercurial, yet also authentic and genuine. I think this specialty of yours could and should be extra prominent in the coming weeks. CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Sometimes I prayed for Baby Jesus to make me good, but Baby Jesus didn’t,” wrote author Barbara Kingsolver about her childhood approach to self-improvement. Just because this method failed to work for her, however, doesn’t mean it won’t work for others. In saying that, I’m not implying you should send out appeals to Baby Jesus. But I suggest you call on your imagination to help you figure out what influences may, in fact, boost your goodness. It’s an excellent time to seek help as you elevate your integrity, expand your compassion, and deepen your commitment to ethical behavior. It’s not that you’re deficient in those departments; just that now is your special time to do what we all need

to do periodically: Make sure our actual behavior is in rapt alignment with our high ideals. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Leo classicist and author Edith Hamilton specialized in the history of ancient Greece. The poet Homer was one of the most influential voices of that world. Hamilton wrote, “An ancient writer said of Homer that he touched nothing without somehow honoring and glorifying it.” I love that about his work, and I invite you to match his energy in the coming weeks. I realize that’s a lot to ask. But according to my reading of the astrological omens, you will indeed have a knack for honoring and glorifying all you touch. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Starhawk, one of my favorite witches, reminds us that “sexuality is the expression of the creative life force of the universe. It is not dirty, nor is it merely ‘normal’; it is sacred. And sacred can also be affectionate, joyful, pleasurable, passionate, funny or purely animal.” I hope you enjoy an abundance of such lushness in the coming weeks, Virgo. It’s a favorable time in your astrological cycle for synergizing eros and spirituality. You have poetic license to express your delight about being alive with imaginative acts of sublime love. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 1634, English poet John Milton coined the phrase “silver lining.” It has become an idiom referring to a redemptive aspect of an experience that falls short of expectations. Over 350 years later, American author Arthur Yorinks wrote, “Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.” Now I’m relaying his message to you. Hopefully, my heads-up will ensure that you won’t miss the silver lining for any reason, including the possibility that you’re fixated on gold. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “This is the most profound spiritual truth I know,” declares author Anne Lamott. “That even when we’re most sure that love can’t conquer all, it seems to anyway. It goes down into the rat hole with us, in the guise of our friends, and there it swells and comforts. It gives us second winds, third winds, hundredth winds.” Lamott’s thoughts will be your wisdom to live by during the next eight weeks, Scorpio. Even if you think you already know everything there is to know about the powers of love to heal and transform, I urge you to be open to new powers that you have never before seen in action. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Witty Sagittarian author Ashleigh Brilliant has created thousands of cheerful yet often

sardonic epigrams. In accordance with current astrological omens, I have chosen six that will be useful for you to treat as your own in the coming weeks. 1. “I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.” 2. “I have abandoned my search for truth and am now looking for a good fantasy.” 3. “All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power.” 4. “Do your best to satisfy me—that’s all I ask of everybody.” 5. “I’m just moving clouds today, tomorrow I’ll try mountains.” 6. “A terrible thing has happened. I have lost my will to suffer.” CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “All experience is an enrichment rather than an impoverishment,” wrote author Eudora Welty. That may seem like a simple and obvious statement, but in my view, it’s profound and revolutionary. Too often, we are inclined to conclude that a relatively unpleasant or inconvenient event has diminished us. And while it may indeed have drained some of our vitality or caused us angst, it has almost certainly taught us a lesson or given us insight that will serve us well in the long run—if only to help us avoid similar downers in the future. According to my analysis of your current astrological omens, these thoughts are of prime importance for you right now. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Life swarms with innocent monsters,” observed poet Charles Baudelaire. Who are the “innocent monsters”? I’ll suggest a few candidates. Boring people who waste your time but

Comics

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who aren’t inherently evil. Cute advertisements that subtly coax you to want stuff you don’t really need. Social media that seem like amusing diversions except for the fact that they suck your time and drain your energy. That’s the bad news, Aquarius. The good news is that the coming weeks will be a favorable time to eliminate from your life at least some of those innocent monsters. You’re entering a period when you’ll have a strong knack for purging “nice” influences that aren’t really very nice. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Never underestimate the wisdom of being easily satisfied,” wrote aphorist Marty Rubin. If you’re open to welcoming such a challenge, Pisces, I propose that you work on being very easily satisfied during the coming weeks. See if you can figure out how to enjoy even the smallest daily events with blissful gratitude. Exult in the details that make your daily rhythm so rich. Use your ingenuity to deepen your capacity for regarding life as an ongoing miracle. If you do this right, there will be no need to pretend you’re having fun. You will vividly enhance your sensitivity to the ordinary glories we all tend to take for granted. Homework: What small change could you initiate that will make a big beneficial difference? Newsletter.FreeWillAstrology.com

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R A P H O V E E N O R S U C K U S A I DOT M S T O A R O A K O R S O O P T M E I DOT H O Q U A T U B S O E E P E

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MARCH 17, 2022

Edited by Will Shortz ACROSS

Sharp bend 7 Tipping point? 10 Intro course? 13 “Fa-a-ancy!” 14 Heap praise on 16 Home of the Boston Mountains 17 Polite Spanish assent 18 Online fad 19 Pricing word 21 Just the worst, in slang 22 “The time for diplomacy has passed” 24 Women’s soccer and gymnastics powerhouse 25 “___ Blues” (song on the Beatles’ “White Album”) 26 Treatment plants? 28 Letters of qualification 31 Sweet sign-off 32 Trees sacred to Hecate 33 Prey for a heron 34 ___ Poovie (“Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.” character) 36 Sounds from a pond at night 38 French agreements 39 Stone with “fire” and “water” varieties 43 “Ish” 44 Unspecified ordinal 45 Travelocity spokescreature 46 Make a pick 47 Bird found in the mud? 49 Pea, e.g. 51 “Death of a Salesman” surname 53 It may turn slowly in a horror movie 1

54 Denny’s competitor 58 “What a pity” 60 Liken 62 Attend to details … or a

hint to entering six Down answers in this puzzle 63 Applies, as lotion 64 [Some of us are trying to watch the movie here!] 65 “Success!” 66 Trickled

DOWN

Destine for failure 2 Trickle 3 Rock genre for Roxy Music 4 Southern border city in a Larry McMurtry title 5 Game measured by its number of points 6 Elements No. 7, 8, 9 and 10, e.g. 7 Certain martial arts takedown 8 Word after bad or hard 9 ___ monkey 10 Trendy brunch order 11 Benefit 12 Really hope 14 Proportionate size for some model trains 15 It’s a lot to carry 20 Online status 23 1982 film set in a mainframe 25 “It’s not hard to guess how this will end” 27 Key to a quick exit? 1

19 22

36 40

37 43 46

45 47

62 64

9 15

63 65

29 Shark species with the

largest brain-to-body ratio 30 Some E.R. cases 31 Strike 33 Underwater weaponlaunching apparatus 34 Horror star Chaney 35 Stop start? 37 2003 cult film known as the “‘Citizen Kane’ of bad movies,” with “The” 40 Spotty pattern 41 Modifies 42 Kind of block

45 Afraid to commit, say 48 Actor Bomer of “Magic

Mike”

50 Gets a ride, in a way 51

’65 Ford debuts

52 “Me! Pick me!” 55 Locking mechanism 56 Great Plains tribe 57

Await a ruling

59 “Isn’t that obvious?” 61

“___ es eso?”

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MARCH 17, 2022