Tucson Weekly May 19, 2022

CURRENTS: PEERING INTO A BLACK HOLE

MAY 19 - MAY 25, 2022 • TUCSONWEEKLY.COM • FREE

C'mon, Get Happy!

A roundup of local drink and food specials LAUGHING STOCK: Tucson Comedy Is Everything, Everywhere, All at Once

DANEHY: Going Nuclear

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MAY 19, 2022

MAY 19, 2022

MAY 19, 2022 | VOL. 37, NO. 20

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STAFF

CONTENTS CURRENTS

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Tucson researchers help image black hole at the center of our galaxy

FEATURE

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A roundup of drink and food specials to experience this summer

ARTS & CULTURE

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At Etherton Gallery, Kate Breakey’s photography explores the tangle of unbearable beauty and unbearable sadness

LAUGHING STOCK

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Bottoms Up

EDITOR’S NOTE

ADMINISTRATION Steve T. Strickbine, Publisher Michael Hiatt, Vice President Tyler Vondrak, Associate Publisher, tyler@tucsonlocalmedia.com Claudine Sowards, Accounting, claudine@tucsonlocalmedia.com

“Cheap is small and not too steep/ But best of all, cheap is cheap/ Circumstance has forced my hand/ To be a cut-price person in a low-budget land” —The Kinks, “Low Budget” WITH INFLATION EATING INTO OUR paychecks, the lyrics of The Kink’s classic “Low Budget” keep echoing in my head.

We’re all looking to scrimp and save where we can, so this week, we present some of the best Happy Hour specials you’ll find around our City of Gastronomy. Our intrepid crew somehow found the time to hit up various bars to find some of the best food and drink you can get for a discount. We’re not saying these are the best—there are many, many fine establishments who didn’t make our list—but you won’t go wrong if you hit up one of these joints in the late afternoon or early evening.

Bon appétit and all that.

This week, we also welcome back to our pages Linda Ray, who penned our Laughing Stock column focused on local comedy until the pandemic struck. As you’ll see in Linda’s column, there’s a lot of comedy going on these days. Get out and enjoy a laugh—we could all use a few these days.

Elsewhere in this week’s issue: Managing editor Jeff Gardner talks with the local scientists who have captured an image of the black

hole at the center of our Milky Way galaxy; columnist Tom Danehy muses on the future of nuclear energy; arts writer Margaret Regan takes in the new show of work by photographer Kate Breakey at Barrio Viejo’s Etherton Gallery; calendar editor Emily Dieckman tells you where to have fun this week; XOXO columnist Xavier Omar Otero lets you know where to rock; Tucson Weedly columnist tells you why cannabis isn’t likely to become legal on the federal level anytime soon; and we’ve got plenty more scattered around our pages.

Finally, an apology to Jay Rochlin, who shared his photos of Tom Miller for last week’s cover story. While we got Jay’s credit on Page 3, we accidentally left if off the interior package that included an excerpt from Miller’s most recent book. Jay is an extraordinary writer, photographer and artist; keep an eye out for his recent children’s book, Will You Be My Desert Friend? It’s a wonderful book full of illustrations of our local flora and fauna. My kids both love it (and while they are eternal delight, they are not always easy to please).

Jim Nintzel Executive Editor Hear Nintz talk about all the cool stuff happening in Tucson at 9:30 a.m. Wednesdays during the World-Famous Frank Show on KLPX, 96.1 FM.

EDITORIAL Jim Nintzel, Executive Editor, jimn@tucsonlocalmedia.com Jeff Gardner, Managing Editor, jeff@tucsonlocalmedia.com Alexandra Pere, Staff Reporter, apere@timespublications.com Nicole Feltman, Staff Reporter, nfeltman@timespublications.com Contributors: David Abbott, Rob Brezsny, Max Cannon, Rand Carlson, Tom Danehy, Emily Dieckman, Bob Grimm, Andy Mosier, Linda Ray, Margaret Regan, Will Shortz, Jen Sorensen, Clay Jones, Dan Savage PRODUCTION Courtney Oldham, Production Manager, tucsonproduction@timespublications.com Ryan Dyson, Graphic Designer, ryand@tucsonlocalmedia.com CIRCULATION Aaron Kolodny, Circulation, aaron@timespublications.com ADVERTISING TLMSales@TucsonLocalMedia.com Gary Tackett, Account Executive, gtackett@tucsonlocalmedia.com Kristin Chester, Account Executive, kristin@tucsonlocalmedia.com Candace Murray, Account Executive, candace@tucsonlocalmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Zac Reynolds Director of National Advertising Zac@TimesPublications.com Tucson Weekly® is published every Thursday by Times Media Group at 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, Arizona. Address all editorial, business and production correspondence to: Tucson Weekly, 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, Arizona 85741. Phone: (520) 797-4384, FAX (520) 575-8891. Member of the Association of Alternative Newsmedia (AAN). The Tucson Weekly® and Best of Tucson® are registered trademarks of Times Media Group. Publisher has the right to refuse any advertisement at his or her discretion.

RANDOM SHOTS By Rand Carlson

Tucson comedy today: Everything, everywhere all at once

TUCSON WEEDLY

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The many efforts to decriminalize cannabis in Washington seem to be going nowhere

Cover design by Ryan Dyson

Copyright: The entire contents of Tucson Weekly are Copyright Times Media Group No portion may be reproduced in whole or part by any means without the express written permission of the Publisher, Tucson Weekly, 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, AZ 85741.

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DANEHY

NUCLEAR POWER SHOULD BE A PART OF THE CLEAN ENERGY EQUATION, BUT WHERE WILL IT COME FROM?

By Tom Danehy, tucsoneditor@tucsonlocalmedia.com

SORENSEN

BACK WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE, if you had told someone that you were studying nuclear engineering, you might as well have said that you were a puppy-eating necrophiliac who was interning for Josef Mengele. The movie The China Syndrome was released and generated (no pun intended) a tsunami of negative feelings about nuclear power. Then, two weeks after the movie came out, Three Mile Island happened.

A series of mechanical failures and human errors led to a LOCA (loss of coolant accident) and a partial meltdown of one of the reactor units at the Pennsylvania nuclear plant. It was worse that it should have been but not nearly as bad as it could have been.

It permanently scarred the perception of nuclear power in the United States.

It was probably best that the vast majority of students at the UA didn’t know that there was a functioning nuclear reactor in the basement of the Engineering Building.

It had been installed in the late 1950s and remained functional even after the school’s nuclear engineering program was disbanded in 1996. The reactor was finally shut down in 2010.

Three Mile Island was the universal

bogeyman term for just a few years until it was forever supplanted by the much-worse Chernobyl. The Three Mile Island facility was poorly designed and had one of the dumbest flaws of all time—alarms for totally different mishaps all sounded the same.

Chernobyl, on the other hand, was a catastrophic failure on a huge number of levels.

I highly recommend the book Midnight in Chernobyl by Adam Higginbotham, which deftly chronicles the corruption and shortcuts that went into the design and construction of the facility, the mismanagement and incompetence with which the plant was run, and the bludgeoning exercise of raw political might that, at first, tried to keep it a secret before quickly pivoting to singling out and punishing scapegoats. It’s a great book.

Still, despite all that, a third of a century later, nuclear power has not gone away. In fact, 20% of all electricity generated in the United States comes from nuclear power.

There hasn’t been a major accident in the U.S. in 40 years and a new generation of nuclear reactors promises to be even safer and more efficient. Plus, and this is the thing that is going to spark some furious debates in coming years, nuclear power is one of

the cleanest energy sources of all time.

(Completely carbon-free, a nuclear plant is basically a giant steam engine that generates electricity by using super-heated water to turn giant turbines.)

It’s going to be an interesting debate because even the most cockeyed optimist must admit that we’re not going to meet any carbon-free goals using just wind, solar and geothermal. Nuclear is going to have to be part of that equation, at least in the short term. And right now, that (and ever-present politics) are leading to an issue that some see as even more pressing.

Just as the United States has a Strategic Oil Reserve, there is now a movement to establish a Strategic Uranium Reserve. As it happens, Russia has close to a monopoly on the enriched uranium needed to operate the reactors. That is why, when President Biden and his EU compatriots rattle their collective swords to shut off the flow of Russian oil and gas because of Ukraine, not a word has been said about the flow of enriched uranium.

Places like Hungary desperately need the fuel, as that country’s four reactors provide half of all of their electricity. In the Czech Republic, one-third of the electricity comes from nuclear energy. And it’s a good bet that the United States will need a large supply, as well.

Back during the Manhattan Project in World War II, almost all of the uranium that was being refined in Oak Ridge, Tennessee, and Hanford, Washington, came from uranium mines on or near the Navajo Reserva-

tion. Those mines continued to be dredged for another half-century until they were mostly played out.

Nowadays, the U.S. isn’t even in the Top 10 in terms of uranium deposits, but not to worry. Australia is number one and Canada is third. They’ve got the glowing rock and we’ve got the skrilla; it should be a nobrainer.

However, the Strategic Uranium Reserve concept, begun under the Trump Administration and currently being studied by the Department of Energy, has “America First” nonsense running through it. While it calls for a common-sense increase in uranium enrichment and stockpiling of uranium ore, it then veers into MAGA territory by insisting that the deferral government will be required to buy uranium “newly produced in the U.S. from deposits at an existing site.”

That means re-opening places like Pinyon Plain, a mine that sits about a half-hour drive from the Grand Canyon Village. It had been producing some of the highest-grade ore in the world until it was shut down when the worldwide uranium market crashed in the 1990s.

Now it’s getting ready to re-open and a coalition of Navajos, environmentalists, and hydrologists are gearing up to fight it.

Knowing the patchwork make-up of the federal courts these days, it could go either way.

It’s a necessary mineral at a necessary time, but they want it to come from a completely unnecessary source. We’ll keep an eye on it. ■

MAY 19, 2022

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CURRENTS

GAZING INTO THE ABYSS

Tucson researchers help image black hole at the center of our galaxy

years away. Now, they’ve revealed the second black hole ever directly imaged, Sagittarius A* at the center of our galaxy, which is 26,000 light-years away.

Multiple Tucson-based astronomers ON THURSDAY, MAY 12, PEOPLE and scientists work on the Event Horiacross the world set their eyes on the first ever image of the black hole at the zon Telescope team through the University of Arizona. In total, the collabocenter of the Milky Way galaxy. This image was the result of an international ration involves more than 300 scientists scientific collaboration called the Event and 80 institutions around the world.

“Until now, we didn’t have the direct Horizon Telescope, and marks the most picture confirming that Sag. A star was significant finding in all of astronomy indeed a black hole,” said Event Horizon — at least since the last time the Event Horizon Telescope team imaged a black Telescope science council member Feryal Özel, a UA professor of astronomy hole.

In 2019, the Event Horizon Telescope and physics. “This image shows a bright gained worldwide fame by unveiling the ring surrounding the darkness: the telltale sign of the shadow of the black first image of a black hole: the Messier hole. Light escaping from the hot gas 87* black hole some 50 million lightBy Jeff Gardner jeff@tucsonlocalmedia.com

COURTESY PHOTO ILLUSTRATION. ESO/JOSÉ FRANCISCO SALGADO, EHT COLLABORATION

The Milky Way above the Atacama Large Array, a network of radio telescopes in Chile that is part of the Earth-sized Event Horizon Telescope. The insert shows the donut-like image of the black hole Sgr A* at its location in the constellation of Sagittarius.

swirling around the black hole appears to us as the bright ring. Light that is too close to the black hole, close enough to be swallowed by it, eventually crosses

its horizon, leaving behind just the dark void in the center.”

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GAZING INTO THE ABYSS CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5

This second black hole image looks very similar to the original black hole image: a blurry orange ring within the blackness of space. Özel says they look similar because they are the outcome of the same fundamental rules of physics.

By their very nature, black holes do not emit light. So the image is not of the black hole itself, but of its absence as it distorts the light around it. The Sagittarius A* black hole is estimated to be 4 million times the mass of our sun.

“The fact that the light appears like a ring, with the black shadow inside, tells you it’s purely gravity,” said astronomy and physics professor Dimitrios Psaltis in a UA release.

“It’s all predicted by Einstein’s theory of general relativity, the only theory in the cosmos that does not care about scale...

Wherever we look, we should see donuts, and they all should look more or less the same.”

The Event Horizon Telescope is not a single telescope, but a network of telescopes across the world that combine their information to produce these images. Current

locations include observatories in Arizona, Spain and Mexico.

The Messier 87* black hole and the Sagittarius A* black hole appear roughly the same size. However, this is only because Messier 87* is 1,500 times more massive but 2,000 times farther away.

“Now we can study the differences between these two supermassive black holes to gain valuable new clues about how this important process works,” said Event Horizon Telescope scientist Keiichi Asada.

“We have images for two black holes — one at the large end and one at the small end of supermassive black holes in the Universe — so we can go a lot further in testing how gravity behaves in these extreme environments than ever before.”

Looking forward, Özel says the Event Horizon Telescope team is also interested in how black holes change over time.

“If you looked at the source one day versus the next, or one year versus the following year, how would that change, and how much light would it emit in different wavelengths?” Özel said in a UA release. “What could we predict about that? And how could we use our observations to understand that black hole’s environment?” ■

CLAYTOONZ By Clay Jones

MAY 19, 2022

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C’MON, GET HAPPY!

of the day; discounted food items of the day.

What luck to have an intimate patio A roundup of drink and food specials to experience this summer space right-sized for folks brave enough to step out during COVID lockdown, but cautious enough to keep it outdoors.

Ermanos’ rear patio had started out like to Kon Tiki bartenders that combines LET’S FACE IT: MOST OF US Agustin Kitchen. 100 South Avenida a mystery. Patrons walked a narrow hall various rums, gin, brandy and liqueurs could use a stiff drink these days. And through a room used for tiny private del Convento. (520) 398-5382. with all this inflation, who doesn’t want with tropical fruit juices. That’s sure to events or the occasional back-room Happy hour 3 to 5 p.m. daily. $1 off to save a buck or two on food and drink? get the Aloha Spirit flowing through standup show. Over time, the owners drafts, $6 house red or white, $6 select your veins.

We sent staff reporters Alexandra continued to improve it and eventually cocktails. Extensive happy hour food To soak up some of that magic elixir, Pere and Nicole Feltman out alongside annexed even more patio space from menu: agustinkitchen.com/menu-hapyou should consider ordering any of the longtime contributor Linda Ray to their Fourth Avenue sidewalk. py-hour/#happy investigate some of Tucson’s best happy happy hour specials, which include $6 The move effectively doubled their Agustin Kitchen has our favorite appetizers (coconut shrimp, potstickers, hours. Here’s caliche in your eye! charcuterie board in town, even though tables. They needed that. Ermanos’ cheese quesadillas, sliders, spring rolls). eclectic menu and fine selection of spirit’s been different every time we’ve Spend a buck or two more for BBQ ribs, Kon Tiki. 4625 E. Broadway Blvd. ordered it. Everything on it is succulent, its locates them sweetly about half-way calamari or Hawaiian nachos ($7) or ahi (520) 323-7193. Happy hour 4 to 7 p.m. fresh-tasting, and often original, wheth- between Maynards and Bison Witches, poke or bacon-wrapped shrimp ($8).

Monday through Friday. $1 off drafts in the elbow of both geography and er cured, aged or pickled. When we’re and double well drinks; $3.50 for beers in taste. Favorite food items include avopinching pennies, though, we love the The Buffet Bar. 538 E. Ninth St. (520) aluminum cans; $4.50 glasses of select garlic fries and $6 drink specials, includ- cado fries ($13), mac ’n’ cheese ($13) and 623-6811. buffetbartucson.com. Happy wines; discounted appetizers. our favorite, elote ($15). A big batch of ing sangria and margaritas. minute at 6 p.m. and 11 p.m.

There’s something relaxing about Sit out on the patio and savor the end regular fries, though, is super crunchy Who hasn’t been to The Buff? Tucsojust walking through the doors of this and affordable ($7.5), even when it’s not of your day, but look around you, too. nans have been drinking at the Buffet Polynesian institution, which has been a “discounted food item.”

You’re in the heart of Tucson’s ancient Bar since 1934, so they must be doing transporting Tucsonans to the South history. A half-mile to the south is Seas for nearly six decades. They serve something right. And by right, we mean Mission Garden, recreated at the site of Native Grill and Wings. Multiple serving cold beer and cheap cocktails more than 50 tiki-inspired cocktails, locations. Nativegrillandwings.com. a respite center for early missionaries. from 6 a.m. to 2 a.m. every day of the ranging from the Painkiller to the infaHappy hour from 3 to 7 p.m. Monday The restored gardens include descenmous Scorpion Bowl, which purports to year. The Buffet—a downtown-adjacent dants of citrus seeds and a variety of through Friday. Reverse happy hour from dive bar so renown that Esquire magathe be the “largest drink in the world” 9 p.m. to close. Discounts on beer, wine, other plant life brought from Sicily by zine declared it “one of the best bars in and boasts a secret recipe known only cocktails, food.

Father Kino.

We’re old enough to remember when Even older, practically right next Reader’s Choice Best Tacos we could score 10-cent wings at Happy door, is evidence of many centuries and layers of Native habitation on A Moun- Hour, but those days are long gone. tain (Sentinel Peak) and Tumamoc Hill. While they may not be that cheap, you’ll still find some great deals at Native Why not walk them after Happy Hour and work up a fresh appetite for dinner? Grill and Wings—and we’re guessing Make rest stops to read all the interpre- the quality is way better than the wings we were scarfing down back in the day. tive signs about Tucson’s native past. d n a r e Whether your favorite sauce is honey r own Be !

Bring you hot, teriyaki ginger or habanero mango, Ermanos Bar. 220 N. Fourth Ave. Voted Best Birria (520) ur patio Wine to o you won’t go wrong with a plate of these 445-6625. Happy hour noon to 6 Two Years in Row! p.m., Monday through Friday. $6 for a babies. Just stay away from the ghost pepper sauce. And if you do try it, don’t glass of any wine; $1 off all draft beers; 4573 S. 12th Avenue • 520-300-6289 $2 off draft of the day; $1 off can or bottle say you weren’t warned.

America”—is home to the super efficient “Happy Minute,” so you’ve got 60 seconds at 6 p.m. to buy two drinks for the price of one, and another 60 seconds at 11 p.m. to buy one drink and get a second for $1.

MAY 19, 2022

Happy Hour

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Serving Exotic Cocktails and Food in a Truly Unique Environment Since 1963

Taco Tuesday

$2.50 Tacos All day

Happy Hour

4-7pm Monday - Friday

150 Best in the United States -Daily Meal

People’s Choice Award -Arizona Daily Star

TUCSON WEEKLY FILE PHOTO

Pizza at The Monica.

The Monica. 40 E. Congress St. (520) 645-1922. Happy hour 3 to 6 p.m. Monday through Friday. $1 off drafts, $2 off glasses of wines and all cocktails. $3 off most pizzas.

That $3 deal is a good one at this downtown newcomer. The personal pizzas range from a $6.95 margueritte to an $8.95 chachita, a fun concoction featuring chickpea chorizo. Other versions involve “Mom’s meatballs” or a short rib with gremolata and mushroom-onion duxelles. All are crafted atop crust made by James Beard nominee Don Guerra’s heritage barrio grain flour (and if you’re lucky, you might be able to score a fresh loaf of Guerra’s Barrio Bread, if it hasn’t all sold out).

Portions are right sized for one, but we recommend going with friends so you can sample everything.

The Monica’s multi-cultural heritage shines. Its namesake is the matriarch of the El Charro restaurants and all the spinoffs generated by her descendants.

Ingredients are local, fresh, healthy and mostly organic. Preparations con-

4625 E. Broadway Blvd 520-323-7193 kontikitucson.com 4625 E. Broadway Blvd

sider food allergies and other health concerns. Even snack and dessert creations are vegan, gluten-free and/or dairy-free.

In sum, The Monica is everything we have needed in a downtown restaurant, even if everything we needed is different. It has fast service, affordable dishes, a stylishly cozy atmosphere, a nook for games and magazines, even a wall cooler for take-home tamales, salsa and other unique comestibles.

It’s like a mini-convenience store for epicures.

REVEL Wine Bar. 416 E. Ninth Street.

(520) 329-2123. Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m., Sunday through Thursday; 4 p.m. to midnight, Friday through Saturday. $1 off any glass.

They have burrata. Full stop. It tastes just-made and literally melts in your mouth like silky cultured magic milk.

This cheese is so special you have to ask for it, like a secret. Ask softly. No one will know.

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520-323-7193

EASTSIDE 22nd & Kolb (520) 867-6050

JOIN US FOR HAPPY HOUR! MON - FRI 4-7 ALL DAY SAT & SUN

3 4 Wine $ Well $ Craft 4 Drinks 4 Beers

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Happy Hour

MAY 19, 2022

PLANT BASED KITCHEN

LATIN KITCHEN&BAR

Voted Best Vegetarian/Vegan & Best Gluten Free “It’s all about food, serving the community by healing through food. Food is home. Food is family.”

Tumerico on 4th Ave. 4th Ave Location 402 E 4thst. Corner of 4th Avenue & 4th Street 520-392-0224

Three locations Tumerico Cafe 6th St location 2526 E. 6th Street 520-240-6947

La Chaiteria 1002 W Congress St Open Daily for Takeout or Delivery 520-400-7127

www.tumerico.com www.lachaiteria.com

MAY 19, 2022

Happy Hour HAPPY HOUR

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Guests can order all kinds of cheeses, cured meats and other noshes a la carte, but they can also build their own charcuterie board, by making check marks on the sushi-like menu. Want a great, wide-ranging conversation?

As a staff member to suggest a wine you might like instead of the same ol’ favorite.

When you take a bottle home, it’s $10 off. That can make a smokin’ deal of, say, the Chateau Ducru-Beaucaillou Bordeaux Rouge Saint Julien France 2010, $615. (Bold and expressive blackcurrant cordial, baked plums and mulberries scents plus wafts of menthol, Marmite toast, black olives and dried lavender.) But there’s no charge just to look at it.

If none of that persuades you that it’s run by the best people, know that for Arizona Gives Day, they donated to Native Seeds Search.

The Delta. 135 S. Sixth Ave. (520) 5243400. thedeltatucson. Happy hour 4 to 6 p.m. Tuesday through Thursday, until 7 p.m Friday. All drafts are $3; $3 discount on specialty cocktails and glasses of wine; $6 old fashioned; $3 off selected honky tonk tapas.

This new downtown restaurant in the space formerly occupied by legendary local chef Janos Wilder’s DOWNTOWN Kitchen + Cocktails has big shoes to fill, but chef Travis Peters of The Parish has demonstrated that he’s up to the job. Delta’s specialty cocktails are crafted with housemade fruit-infused liquors like their Instant Hit, Mississippi Lane and Delta Sweet Tea. Pair your specialty cocktail or a draft beer with one of The Delta’s discounted Honky Tonk Tapas, including their cherry Kool-Aid pickles, a cup of seafood gumbo, or cast-Iron cornbread.

This is some real southern comfort.

Elliott’s on Congress. 135 E. Congress St. (520) 622-5500. Happy hour from 4 to 7 p.m. daily and 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. Thursday through Saturday. $4

vodka-infused drinks, $3 wells; $1 off craft beers. Various food items.

The drink specials are wonderful, but we’re also impressed with Elliott’s “mini-menu,” featuring nearly a dozen items all at $7 or less. You won’t regret indulging in three creamy jalapeño boats drizzled with agave ($4.50), four bacon rangoons served with a mango-habanero sauce ($4.50) or two burger sliders ($5). Satisfy your sweet and savory appetite with a chocolate-covered bacon strip. ($2.50) If you show up on Tuesday, happy hour prices are from 4 p.m. Be sure to indulge in this heavenly happy hour after a long day of work—you deserve it!

Trident Grill. Multiple locations. Tridentgrill.com. Happy Hour is 3 to 6 p.m.

Monday through Friday. $1 off all craft beer, well cocktails and all wine by the glass. Nine discounted menu items.

With four different locations across the community (along with a pizza joint), Trident Grill is likely close to where you live. It’s no surprise that this joint, run for former Navy SEAL Nelson Miller, has a nautical theme and plenty of seafood. Trident takes at least $2 off regular menu items such as a pair of Kaluau pork tacos ($6), crispy shrimp tacos ($7) and crispy cod tacos ($7). Pair your discounted craft beer with happy hour appetizers such as beer-battered kosher pickles ($6), buttermilk chicken tenders ($8) or a pair of baked pretzels ($8). We all know cheese, bread, and beer is an exquisite combination. Get semi-adventurous with the grilled chicken skewers accompanied by thai peanut sauce ($8). Not feeling Thai?

That’s fine! Go straight to classic bar food with two buffalo chicken sliders ($6) or BBQ pork sliders ($7). The world is your oyster and Trident Grill gives you more than just drinks to choose during happy hour.

Bistro 44. 6761 E. Tanque Verde Road. (520) 298-2233. Happy hour 3 to 7 p.m. Monday through Friday; 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Saturday/Sunday. $1 off all drinks, $3 off all appetizers. bistro44tucson.com CONTINUED ON PAGE 12

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Home of the Happy Minute! Everyday at 6pm and 11pm

Come Grab a Drink at Tucson’s Oldest Bar! 538 E 9th St, Tucson, AZ 85705 • 520-623-6811 COME VISITE US AT WHERE FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND NEIGHBORS MEET

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Marana On

Daily Lunch Special $.69 Wings Mon-Fri. 11am - 3pm

PIZZA, SALADS & FLATBREADS!

$.69 all day*

Happy Hour Daily 3pm-7pm and Reverse Happy Hour 9pm - close * DINE IN, PICK UP & THIRD PARTY DELIVERY

8225 N. Courtney Page Way (Cortaro / Az Pavilions) Tucson, Az (520) 744-7200

3100 E. Speedway Blvd Tucson, Az (520) 325-3489

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Happy Hour

TUCSON WEEKLY FILE PHOTO

A cold beer and the Mexican candy shot at Elliott’s on Congress.

HAPPY HOUR

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 11

Bistro 44 had a patio crowd before patio crowds were cool. You wouldn’t know about it, but people who hang out there on the regular are the coolest in the world. Just ask their grandkids.

The regulars’ life stories, careers and accomplishments would amaze you if you had any context for them at all.

They were overstuffed with cool already by the time you discovered gaming.

But there are excellent reasons for Generation Y to check out Bistro 44.

Foremost is that, clubby as it sounds, it’s welcoming – cozy, friendly and unassuming, just the way you like it. The food is delicious, perfectly prepared and pronounceable, and most dishes have fewer than a dozen, mostly familiar, ingredients. Maybe most important, you won’t find a classier, more authentic old fashioned anywhere in town.

Union Public House. 4340 N. Campbell Ave. (520) 329-8575. Social hour seven days a week, 3 to 6 p.m. Domestic

drafts are $3, craft drafts are $4 to $6, single item well drinks are $5, select wines are $7 per glass, vodka martinis are $7, copper cup Moscow mules are $6 and a glass of Campo Viejo Cava Brut is $7. Discounted food items.

Moscow mule enthusiasts unite! Located in the gorgeous St. Philip’s Plaza on the edge of the Catalina Foothills, The Union is known for a wide variety of Moscow mules and during social hour, you can save $2 on all copper cup mules. Select wines and beers are discounted along with vodka martinis. Pair these delicious discounts with 10 different discounted menu items, including appetizers such as poutine fries ($7.50), regular fries ($4), pretzels ($5.50) and pub chips ($8). Lighter menu options include a mason jar of house-brined pickles and vegetables ($4), a jar of pickles ($5), caesar salad $6), and green salad ($5). If you have more of an appetite, soak up that booze with macaroni and cheese ($7), three pulled pork sliders ($9) or one of Tucson’s best-priced (and most delicious) burgers ($9). ■

MAY 19, 2022

ARTS & CULTURE

COURTESY PHOTO

“Two Protea.” Archival pigment print, hand colored with pencil and pastel, by Kate Breakey. 24 x24 in.

THUS PASSES THE GLORY

At Etherton Gallery, Kate Breakey’s photography explores the tangle of unbearable beauty and unbearable sadness

er into one glorious piece, “Nine Lunar Eclipses.” The nine moons are lined up in three rows of three, placed on a black backdrop. Each one has a different color, EARLY THIS WEEK A BLOOD RED capturing a distinct phase of an advancmoon hovered over Tucson—and over ing eclipse: white, gray, orange and red. the much of the rest of the world.

Breakey is known for her splendid imIt was a joy to see the colors change from faint orange to red in the darkened ages of nature; her earliest works I can remember were her oversized pieces sky. that were giving homages to tiny dead More than once, Kate Breakey, a birds. longtime Tucson photographer, has The current show, 57 pieces strong, is captured the extraordinary hues of that about all kinds of nature: birds for sure, red moon. And in my mind, I couldn’t but also trees, clouds, a grand cavalcade help but call this heavenly beauty the of flowers, one snake, a random shipKate Breakey moon. in-a-bottle, and, oh yes, another lovely Coincidentally I had just seen moon, an Arizona special called “A Breakey’s gorgeous moon photos at Fingernail Moon Setting Over Safford.”

Etherton Gallery.

In her show, Transience, she has knit- And a charming white lace dress for a ted nine of her full moon photos togeth- little girl.

By Margaret Regan tucsoneditor@tucsonlocalmedia.com

TUCSONWEEKLY.COM 13

the short time I’m here I can hold them close, marvel over each one—remember Kate Breakey: Transience it as it is, commemorate… Unbearable beauty and unbearable sadness, everyThrough June 18 where, coming and going all the time, all Etherton Gallery, 340 S. Convent Ave. tangled up.”

11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday to Saturday Breakey has reported that she is an Free admirer of Alfred Stieglitz, a famed photographer in the early 20th century, 520-624-7370; Ethertongallery.com who developed Pictorialism. Stieglitz insisted that beauty stands above the real world. Instead of sharp, gritty streetThe photos, mostly color, some others scapes, for instance, he would soften black and white, hint at the cycle of life figures and buildings to the point that and death. Pink flowers slump down his work often looked more like paintfrom their vase in “Drooping Daises.” In ings than photos. The same can be said another Arizona piece, “Tall Dead Pine of Breakey, as she strives to make her Tree, White Mountain, Arizona,” the flowers and snakes and trees beautiful. branches and trunk are stripped bare, Like a latter-day Pictorialist, Breakey silhouetted against a stormy sky. Elseexperiments like mad. The gallery’s where, a dead raven, all funereal black, is Daphne Srinivasan counts paints, carefully laid to rest on a piece of white pastels, colored pencils, and embroidery lace. Even the little child who wore the among the many materials she uses. lace dress will someday die.

Then there’s the handmade papers, “Nothing lasts,” Breakey writes in a glass and silk and, magically, the orostatement on the gallery wall. tone that gives a golden luminosity to “Stars eventually go out, the moon her art. ■ pulls away inch by inch…I make pictures of things in the natural world so that in

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MAY 19, 2022

Poolside Lounge Party at the AC Hotel. If you’re going to live in a city that’s so remarkably hot, then you really should be attending rooftop pool parties, right? The AC Hotel is kicking off this summer series this Saturday with an afternoon full of drinks, burgers, ice cream and swimming. DJ Walters the Don is bringing the live music, Little Love Burger has the food and HUB Ice Cream has the dessert. 2 to 6 p.m.

Saturday, May 21. $25. If you’re not a pool person, swing by on Thursday, May 19, to see a performance by acoustic guitarist Andrew Daniel Catas, and enjoy some tapas plates. 5 to 7 p.m. Thursday, May 19. AC Hotel by Marriott Tucson Downtown, 151 E. Broadway Blvd.

Music Under the Stars. The Tucson Pops Orchestra summer concert series continues, this week with special guests Bob Atwell, Michael Fan and Jason Carder. Atwell began studying music education at Berklee College of Music, but later switched his major to electrical engineering. As he neared retirement a few years ago, he decided to go back to school to study composition. His piece, The László Scherzo Op. 60, was commissioned for Tucson Pops. Michael Fan is the concertmaster of Tucson Pops, but he also composes works for children, and tonight he’ll be the violin soloist. Carder, a professor at the UA, will be playing Trumpeter’s Lullaby. 7 p.m. Sunday, May 22. DeMeester Outdoor Performance Center at Reid Park, 900 S. Randolph Way. Free.

Wench Comedy’s Sixth Anniversary Comedy Showcase. Keeping anything going for six years is impressive. A plant? Wow! A book club? Impressive.

A comedy show at a beloved local bar, through a global pandemic? Truly next level. Congratulations to the Surly Wench Pub on this milestone! Come on down to celebrate with host Roxy Merari and six of her funniest friends.

There will be raffles and goodies, smiles and laughter, jokes and drinks, and so much to celebrate! 7 to 9 p.m.

Wednesday, May 25. Surly Wench Pub, 424 N. Fourth Ave. $7.

Body Awareness. When feminist professor Phyllis and her partner, Joyce, welcome a nude portrait photographer into their home, things get complicated. While Phyllis objects to his work, Joyce is interested in posing for him—perhaps as a small distraction from raising her adult son, who is likely on the Autism spectrum. This critically acclaimed show

by Annie Baker explores the comedy and empathy between people with different views living under the same roof. Come down to Live Theatre Workshop to enjoy this production, directed by Sam Rush. Runs through June 4. 7:30 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays and 3 p.m. on Sundays, with a special Saturday matinee in place of the evening show on June 4. Live Theatre Workshop, 3322 E. Fort Lowell Road. $23 GA, $21 military/ senior/students, $15 Thursdays and previews.

by Emily Dieckman Becoming Real: A Pop-Up Art Gallery. Civano Chiropractic is hosting this event to benefit local animal welfare organization Tucson Rescue Now. It’s a photographic celebration of rescue dogs, and tickets include admittance to the show, drink tickets, charcuterie cups or boards, and a chance to bid on auction items.

Perhaps most importantly, you’ll even have a chance to meet some of the celeb pups featured in the show.

Great fundraiser for a great cause, with a title paying tribute to the Velveteen Rabbit. 7 to 10 p.m. Friday, May 20.

Tickets start at $50.

Oro Valley Movie on the Lawn: Call of the Wild. It’s that time of year where we get to watch movies outside again! Just bring something to sit on, something to snack on, and something to keep the bugs off of ya if bugs tend to like you. This month, Oro Valley Parks & Rec brings us the Harrison Ford flick (based on the Jack London novel) about a dog named Buck and his adventures as the newest member of a mail-delivery sled dog team in the Alaskan Yukon. Nothing like fantasizing about Alaska during the blazing heat of an Arizona summer. 7:30 p.m. Saturday, May 21. Oro Valley Community & Recreation Center, 10555 N. La Canada Drive.

Dos Estaciones. The Arizona premiere of this Sundance award-winning Mexican film by Juan Pablo González is presented by Cinema Tropical, the UA Center for Latin American Studies and the Consulate General of Mexico in Tucson. It’s the story of María García, the owner of a tequila factory in the Jalisco Highlands that was once successful but now faces problems. When the factory is damaged by a flood, she must fight harder than ever to save the factory, a source of both great pride and economic drive for the community.

González’s debut film serves as an answer to the typically idyllic melodrama ranchero, as well as a love letter to his homeland. 7 p.m. Thursday, May 19. Fox Tucson Theatre, 17 W. Congress St. $6.

Shows at the Century Room. Tucson’s newest jazz venue is featuring some of the top talents from across the country this spring, so it’s about time you head over for a night of music, classy cocktails, snacks and pure vibes. This week alone we’ve got the Paul Green Quartet on Thursday, May 19; the Max Goldschmid Quartet on Friday, May 20, and Susan Artemis on Saturday, May 21. Shows are at 9 and 10:30 p.m. and cost just $5 at the door. The new small bites menu features nopalitos ceviche, a cheese plate, olives, nuts and shrimp cocktail. Century Room, 311 E. Congress St. Vinylgeddon II Sale. Bruce Smith is the owner of Cassidy Collectibles, which hosts the enormous, annual Tucson Record Show in the fall. This sale is likely the last house sale before the big show.

Come for the boxes of never-before-offered LPs in every genre. Come for the 45s for just two bucks apiece. Come for the discounts by volume! Or you can even come to sell your own collectible records. There’s nothing like the fun of sifting through records and looking for treasures, especially alongside folks who really know their record lore. 8 am. to 2 p.m. Sunday, May 22. 1212 E. Hampton. Email Bruce at cassidycollectibles@ earthlink.net with special requests.

MAY 19, 2022

LAUGHING STOCK

says. Only the comics have changed at the Thursday night open mics, even though Tucson now has a dozen of them.

For decades, Laffs was the only one.

SWEAT LODGE

PHOTO BY ROXY MERARI

Mo Urban, BlackRock Brewers Comedy and Roxy Merari, Comedy at the Wench.

BARREL OF LAUGHS

Tucson comedy today: Everything, everywhere all at once

By Linda Ray tucsoneditor@tucsonlocalmedia.com WE CAN’T KEEP THEM DOWN, COMEDIANS. Apparently they just go underground and multiply.

This week’s comedy shows are the biggest, most numerous, most diverse and celebratory since at least January 2020. It’s ruckus enough even to raise a dead act. The artists formerly known as Sweat Lodge (1994-2003) perform at the venerable Laff’s Comedy Caffe on Sunday, May 22. (7 pm., $15, laffstucson.com) Details follow, but here’s the top line of other shows on the horizon…

Unscrewed Theater’s 20th anniversary celebration on May 21 is a testament to Tucson’s ability to support a professional improv theater for the long haul. Its house team, NBOJU, still has several original members. They’ve invited all former members to join them onstage. (7:30 p.m., $5-$8 live or livestream, bit.ly/NBOJU20th5-21-22.)

On May 25, top comic and show-runner Roxy Merari celebrates the sixth anniversary of the relentless focus, hard work, generosity and sheer will with which she has made a popular regional comedy club out of the punk matriarch venue of Fourth Avenue, The Surly Wench. (7 p.m., $7, Eventbrite) Mo Urban, Tucson’s Johnny Appleseed of new mics and shows the last half decade, had barely started her bi-monthly-ish series at BlackRock Brewers when the plague shut things down. She picked it back up again during the five minutes or so before Delta and Omicron hit, and she’s back with another great bill on May 21. (7:30 p.m., free) And still, Laffs abides. Casey Bynum, manager and scion of Laffs founder Gary Bynum, shrugs off the travails of the last few years. He says the 34-year-old venue, Tucson’s only professional comedy club, has surfed not only COVID but the seemingly endless infernal chaos that is Broadway Blvd. construction. Business is pretty much the same over time, he

Sweat Lodge is a collaborative quintet of self-described curmudgeons, gathering one last time to retire their “culturally appropriated” name. They are political cartoonist and columnist David Fitzsimmons; attorney and former TV comedian Elliott Glicksman; musical parodist and leader of the Deadhead-adjacent local band Fish Karma, Terry Owen; librarian, comedian and sometime Loft Theater emcee, Mike Sterner, and theatrical producer and sketch comedy artist Nick Sievert. If this thoroughly unruly bunch seems familiar to readers, it may be from their annual charity extravaganza, The Arroyo Café, held in the winter holiday season at The Rialto Theater.

Glicksman says, “It’s interesting that some of our old humor is considered inappropriate now. We know the boundaries of acceptable humor and only plan to cross it a few times in our show.”

Asked about comedy’s recent growth spurt in popularity, he says, “I think there’s more comedy than ever but it’s on YouTube, TikTok, (Instagram) or podcasts. I don’t think clubs will soon return to the comedy heyday of the 1980s and ’90s.

“But there’s something intangible about hearing a live crowd respond to humor. It’s like a drug you become addicted to. And the Sweat Lodge for some unexplained reason, after 20 years, needs a fix.”

UNSCREWED THEATER’S NBOJU IS 20 Unscrewed Theater house team NBOJU (Not Burnt Out Just Unscrewed) has spent 20 years tickling funny bones of Southern Arizona family audiences, private gatherings and corporate events. Since 2014, they’ve also built a loyal audience for their own theater, performing every Friday and Saturday night. That continuity, and generosity of donors, allow them to keep ticket prices low and still contribute a portion of each show’s take to a charity-of-the-month.

NBOJU’s success is rooted in the short-form style of Whose Line Is It Anyway. Audiences see a different show every time, but always know what to expect.

Of Tucson’s burgeoning comedy scene, Executive Director Chris Seidman says, “Now there are so many open-mics or curated comedy options at so many smaller venues - clubs, bars, etc.” Even the traditionally family-friendly Unscrewed has recently added late-night, uncensored variety shows to its lineup. Seidman says that, along with the comedy scene’s substantial growth, “There’s more of a sense of community. At the core, I think we still all want to make people laugh in our own unique way.” “(Any way) people discover improv, be it from Middleditch and Schwartz or hearing that their favorite (Saturday Night Live) performer was from UCB (Upright Citizens Brigade) or Groundlings or Second City, (if) they explore improv, (even) not knowing much about it, I consider that a win for us all.”

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MAY 19, 2022

By Xavier Omar Otero tucsonweekly@tucsonlocalmedia.com

MARK YOUR CALENDARS… THURSDAY, MAY 19 In the wake of the upheaval of recent years, on “How Do We Heal”—a poignant reckoning with the enduring pain of generational racism—this Houston 10-piece band poses the question: “How do we heal from this?”

To which they offer, “Something’s gotta shake. That something has to be us. We’ve gotta continue to speak up and act against racism, discrimination and unjust treatment of all human beings.” With horn section ablaze, The Suffers deliver a rousing dose of Gulf Coast soul. At Club Congress… The Town of Marana presents Concerts in the Courtyard. Led by the irrepressible Connie Brannock, Little House of Funk play that funky music. At Marana Municipal Complex… Shimmer. Flicker. Waver. Quiver. This

Zürich-based electronic musician’s work involves interrupting circuit flow in chaotic feedback systems—grabbing open leads with his hands—causing the synthesizer to overload or collapse, oscillate or sputter, producing off-kilter sounds akin to that of a robot sounding its death knell. Jason Kahn. At Solar Culture Gallery… Spreading an irie vibe, Jahlos and The Rebels offer a taste of Phoenix reggae. At Chicago Bar… Executing a mélange of standards, musical theater and opera pieces, esteemed pianist Elliot Jones hosts Piano Bar. At Owls Club… Mamma Coal keeps the sound of traditional country and roots music alive. At The Maverick…

FRIDAY, MAY 20 Full speed ahead. Considered by many to be the “fathers of crossover thrash,” during the late-1980s these Dirty Rotten Imbeciles brought together two disparate scenes.

Spike Cassidy tells Razorcake, “It’s not like we’re the only band that has added metal to punk. But we definitely have our own sound.” Mike Brecht adds, “Someone told me we single-handedly ruined punk rock forever.” D.R.I. 40th Anniversary Tour. At

The Rock… Hailed by some as the greatest rock opera ever created, The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway (1974) is the sixth album by English prog rockers Genesis, and the last to feature frontman Peter Gabriel.

The Musical Box captures the artistry and surrealism of Genesis at their zeitgeist. At Rialto Theater… “Fuck Shit Up.” One of the most innovative voices resonating from the underground, Chris Rouleau (aka Blaze) has adopted the stage persona of a reincarnated gang member. Influenced by pioneering rappers (N.W.A. and Twiztid) as much as filmmakers (Tarantino and Singleton), he’s mastered the art of reinvention. “As an artist, you don’t want to make the same movie over and again,” Rouleau says. “It’s fun to create new characters to do new things.”

Underground Alliance Tour features Blaze Ya Dead Homie and King Klick. At Encore… Aiming to bring the hip hop community together, Earth’s Healing present Live In Tucson. Winnie Versace and MTM & Friends headline. At 191 Toole… Backed by some of Tucson’s finest jazz players, vocalist/violinist Heather Hardy & Taste of Jazz perform at Monterey Court… On This Is How You Smile (2019), Brooklyn indie/ electronic artist Roberto Carlos Lange (aka Helado Negro) asks, “Have You Seen My Aura?” Searching for the existential, on Far In (2021) he finds his “Brown Fluorescence.”

At Hotel Congress Plaza… Dropping metal infused dubstep so deep it just might crack the foundation. Relentless Beats presents Phase One. At Gentle Ben’s… Debuting tracks from their new LP, Golden Boots celebrate the release of Liquid Ranch

.com

(2022). Singer-songwriter Lonna Kelley adds to the festivities. At Floor Polish…

Blurring the lines between vintage country, folk and blues, Jason Dea West is a troubadour who has lived what he sings. At Saint Charles Tavern… Don’t Fake the Funk: The Memoirs of Zackey Force Funk (2021) is an autobiography that chronicles a life lived at breakneck speed; that of author/ musician Zack Hose, a four-time felon who by day is a respected aeronautics specialist and by night the voice of lowrider anthems.

Zackey Force Funk. Book Release Party.

At Club Congress… “Horned God (Give Me The Strength).” Mashing together the avant-weirdness of The Residents with the over-the-top showmanship of Iggy Pop, Borts Minorts fits in comfortably nowhere.

At Habitation Realty… Providing a platform for student composers to showcase their works, Young Composers Festival (Day 1 of 3) features the TSO String, Brass and Wind Quintets. Maestro José Luis Gomez presides. At Leo Rich Theater…

SATURDAY, MAY 21 The tragic shooting (on Jan. 8, 2011) that claimed the lives of six people and injured 19—including Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords—sent shockwaves throughout the community. In observance of the 10th anniversary of the tragedy, Luz de Vida: A Benefit Concert for Survivors of Trauma— an expression of community, love, healing, grace and hope—features performances by Fort Lowell recording artists: Tracy Shedd,

MAY 19, 2022

Soda Sun, La Cerca, Naïm Amor and more. It marks the official album release of Luz de Vida II (2021). At Hotel Congress Plaza. All proceeds donated to Homicide Survivors, Inc… Enhanced by a killer light show, The Bennu execute a unique brand of original psychedelic space rock. Vocalist Vasanta Weiss enthuses, “We’re fully back in the flow of performing, and sounding our best yet.” At 191 Toole… Summer band camp meets traveling circus. Yet, these Portlanders are far from a typical marching band. Consisting of electric bass and guitar, 4-piece percussion corps, 7-piece brass section, stilt walkers, acrobatics and hula-hoopers, MarchFourth bring the party wherever they may roam. At Rialto Theater… Sunnyside High School presents Noche de las Estrellas. One of Mexico’s most influential voices, “La Reina del Pueblo,” Tejano singer Graciela Beltran headlines. At AVA Amphitheater… Embodying the rich mezcla of life along the borderland in song, FebboFuentes. At MotoSonora Brewing Company…

SUNDAY, MAY 22 Performing material from their forthcoming album, Barnaby and the Butcher welcome the setting sun. At Che’s Lounge Patio…

Two-time Grammy nominated multi-instrumentalist Amo “Chip” Dabney leads his genre defying band, The Amosphere.

Congress Cookout. At Hotel Congress Plaza… Desert Divas—Lisa Otey, Diane Van Deurzen, and crew—revel in the music of The Fabulous ‘50s. At The Gaslight Music Hall…

MONDAY, MAY 23 Dance with abandon. Club Whutever DJs—PC Party, alice.km and Hot Leather

Dining on the Patio!

Disco—bring cool to a hot Tucson night. At Tap Room Patio…

TUESDAY, MAY 24 After having parlayed successful childhood acting careers into a new métier, sisters Alyson and Amanda Joy Michalka return with A Touch of the Beat (2021), an album drenched in California sunshine, even after twilight. “I want to look at the way we make records as the way [Joan Didion or Eve Babitz] would write a book,” Amanda Joy tells Vanity Fair. “We’re not going to say the words Los Angeles, but this is how the record should make you feel, driving down [State Route] 1.” Aly & AJ. At Rialto Theater… In an interview with New Noise, Donovan Melero describes the process of recording New Age Filth (2021). “We had a huge focus on trimming fat. Cutting all that shit off. [Leaving] only the parts that matter.” Hail The Sun. At 191 Toole… Tucson’s own heavy-hitting grunge/post-hardcore outfit Lo Blow takes to the Club Congress stage…

WEDNESDAY, MAY 25 In 2009, Time recognized this Swedish neo-classical metallist as one of The 10 Greatest Electric Guitar Players of All Time.

With venomous snakes for fingers, akin to the strands of Medusa’s hair, Yngwie Malmsteen sets the World on Fire. At the Rialto Theater… Believing that rock ’n’ roll is an elixir for the times, Phil Free Band and Flying Half Full offer a dose. At Hotel Congress Plaza… Extending a stiff digitus medius at predetermination, post-hardcore metalists Escape The Fate return with Chemical Warfare (2021). At The Rock…

Until next week, XOXO…

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MAY 19, 2022

UP IN SMOKE

The many efforts to decriminalize cannabis in Washington seem to be going nowhere

By David Abbott tucsoneditor@tucsonlocalmedia.com

ACROSS THE COUNTRY, attitudes toward cannabis are becoming more permissive and accepting, but partisan gridlock in Congress virtually ensures that legislation to decriminalize marijuana will languish and die in the U.S. Senate.

Last month, the U.S. House of Representatives passed the Marijuana Opportunity Reinvestment and Expungement Act (MORE) by a narrow 220-204 margin.

In addition to descheduling, the MORE

Act would require federal courts to purge convictions for cannabis-related offenses and allow re-sentencing for individuals with federal convictions. And it includes funding for social equity programs in communities that have been hurt most by enforcement of old drug laws.

It also seeks to right some of the wrongs inflicted on American citizens by the decades-long War on Drugs. For instance, it would establish a Cannabis Justice Office to manage an “opportunity trust fund,” that would provide grants and resources for programs, from expungement to community investment to drug treatment.

And people with marijuana-related convictions would be eligible to hold dispensary licenses as part of an equitable licensing grant program. There would also be a community reinvestment grant program to fund job training, reentry services, legal aid, literacy, youth recreation and health education programs.

But it won’t pass the Senate, where previous attempts have failed.

“We see overwhelming majorities of voters saying they want to repeal federal prohibition, yet we fear we won’t be able to get to a threshold of 60 votes in the Senate,” said Mike Robinette, director of the Arizona National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (AZNORML).

“That’s going against what Americans truly want. They are tired of the prohibition of cannabis and how that affects our world.”

MAJORITY OF AMERICANS WANT LEGALIZATION National NORML was founded in 1970, the year before President Richard M. Nixon began the modern era of the “War on Drugs” and three years before he created the Drug Enforcement Agency. At

that time, 11 states were in the process of decriminalizing cannabis and support for legalization was growing.

But starting with Ronald Reagan’s presidency in the 1980s and into the 1990s, the national policy pendulum swung the other way. Prohibition hit a bipartisan zenith with the “Just Say No” campaign and the enactment in 1986 of the Anti-Drug Abuse Act, which dedicated $1.7 billion to fight the so-called War on Drugs, establishing mandatory minimum prison sentences for many drug offenses.

As a result, nonviolent drug offenses increased from 50,000 in 1980 to more than 400,000 by 1997.

But the tide began to turn when California voters legalized medical cannabis in 1996.

Over the course of the next 25 years, California’s action sparked a trend that spread to a majority of states by 2016. In 2012, Colorado and Washington voters both legalized recreational cannabis use for adults. As of 2022, adult use is legal in 18 states, the District of Columbia and Guam.

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MAY 19, 2022

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MAY 19, 2022

UP IN SMOKE

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 18

In Arizona, the Arizona Medical Marijuana Act passed in 2010, and voters in 2020 approved Proposition 207 to legalize recreational cannabis for adults.

Still, cannabis retains its federal status as a Schedule I drug with “no currently accepted medical use and a high potential for abuse.”

Other drugs on the Schedule I list include heroin, LSD, methaqualone and peyote.

The piecemeal approach to legalization has created many conflicts with federal laws, but now that a majority of states have some type of marijuana legalization, the plant has become a major source of legitimate economic activity nationwide.

In 2020, legal sales across the U.S. totaled $20 billion and are projected to reach $40.5 billion by 2025.

The American Civil Liberties Union estimates the U.S. spends upwards of $3.6 billion a year enforcing cannabis prohibition, with the majority of more than 600,000 annual arrests largely affecting people of

color, who are nearly four times as likely to be arrested as their white counterparts.

Black men receive sentences that are 13.1% longer than white men and Latinos are nearly 6.5 times more likely to receive a federal sentence than non-Hispanic whites.

Federal attempts to legalize cannabis are not taking place in a vacuum, as many polls show a majority of Americans are in favor of legalization in some form across generational and political lines.

Polling data recently released by Civiqs found a majority of voters in all 50 states support legalizing marijuana. Support levels range from 52% in North Dakota to 81% in both Vermont and Washington.

And this is hardly the latest polling to show widespread public support for legal cannabis. A 2021 Rasmussen Poll shows 62% of American adults favor legalization, up from 54% three years ago, while 23% are opposed and 14% are unsure. A recent Gallup Poll shows support at an all-time high, with 68% in support, including 83% of Democrats, 50% of Republicans and 71% of independents in favor of nationwide legalization. And a 2021 Harris Poll found 66% of adults in favor, with younger generations more inclined to favor legalization:

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Nearly 80% of both Gen X and Millennials backed legalizing marijuana, compared to 48% of Baby Boomers. The poll also found that overall support of medical marijuana legalization was 84%.

The American electorate, most elected Democrats and a handful of Republicans are largely in favor of legalizing cannabis.

But an evenly split Senate continues to stand in the way of legislative efforts.

“There seems to be a lot of political will to talk about cannabis reform,” Derek Debus, director of military and veterans law at Stone Rose Law in Scottsdale said. “But there doesn’t actually seem to be much in the way of doing cannabis reform.”

Debus, a Marine veteran who specializes in Veterans Administration benefits, helps many veterans with issues surrounding medical marijuana use. He believes the MORE Act would not only help the general population, but would also be a boon to veterans who turn to cannabis to treat a variety of ailments from PTSD, to opioid dependency to chronic pain.

“The MORE Act would protect veteran-owned cannabis businesses from discrimination under different types of programs like the Small Business Act, and establishes Veterans Business Outreach Centers that provide support and advice and in some cases, financing to veterans,” he said. “Before, veteran-owned cannabis businesses were not eligible for any help under those programs. The MORE Act, thankfully, prohibits discrimination to an eligible small business just because it’s related to cannabis.”

OTHER LEGISLATIVE ATTEMPTS In recent years, a number of federal bills to deschedule and decriminalize cannabis

have been proposed, passed the House and then run into Mitch McConnell’s (RKy.) wall of obstruction in the Senate.

The MORE Act, proposed originally in September 2019 by Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.), was the first cannabis law to find success on a federal level. It sought not only to legalize and deschedule cannabis, but also legislate remedies for the damage done by the War on Drugs.

It passed in December 2020 by a 228164 margin before dying quietly in the Senate.

In addition to MORE, other measures to legalize and deschedule marijuana have been proposed, as have bills addressing different aspects of legalization from banking to veterans access to research.

One, the Veterans Medical Marijuana Safe Harbor Act, was introduced in April 2021 by Hawaii Sen. Brian Schatz. The legislation has gained broad support, including Arizona Sen. Mark Kelly, who also supports the SAFE Banking Act, which would allow cannabis businesses access to banking services that are now illegal due to federal prohibitions.

“Senator Kelly has supported the Veterans Medical Marijuana Safe Harbor Act and the SAFE Banking Act, both commonsense efforts that would improve lives and livelihoods,” Kelly spokesperson Arielle Devorah wrote in an email to the Arizona Mirror. “Kelly continues to closely evaluate any legislative proposals to nationally de-schedule or decriminalize marijuana and will make decisions based on what’s in the best interest of Arizonans.”

The Veterans Medical Marijuana Safe Harbor Act would allow veterans to “use, possess, or transport medical marijuana and to discuss the use of medical marijuana with a physician of the

MAY 19, 2022

Department of Veterans Affairs as authorized by a state or Indian tribe, and for other purposes.”

Veterans who qualify for medical marijuana on a state level are currently caught between federal and state law, and are often stigmatized with a “cannabis use disorder” diagnosis that can put them at odds with the VA health care system.

The Veterans Medical Marijuana Safe Harbor Act has not had a hearing or a vote since it was introduced last year.

The Secure and Fair Enforcement (SAFE) Banking Act has been around in one form or another since 2013. In a change of tactics last year, Democrats attached the bill to the National Defense Authorization Act for FY 2022, but it was stripped out before final passage.

In an attempt to move it forward again this year, the SAFE Act has been attached to the America COMPETES Act, an unrelated bill that addresses technology and trade in the U.S. The legislation would allow licensed cannabis businesses to operate like any other legal business, with access to banking services, including the use of ATMs, credit cards, access to loans and the ability to make deposits and write payroll checks.

Despite the actions of the Senate, the SAFE Act enjoys broad support from business groups, cannabis activists and large swaths of the banking industry, including the American Bankers Association.

On April 11, the Credit Union National Association (CUNA) sent a letter of support to House leaders Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Kevin McCarthy (R-CA), asking that the bill remain attached to the America COMPETES Act. “A 2015 analysis found that, in the absence of being banked, one in every two cannabis dispensaries were robbed or burglarized—with the average thief walking away with anywhere from $20,000 to $50,000 in a single theft,” wrote CUNA President and CEO Jim Nussle.

HOISTED BY THEIR OWN PETARD There may be a point where political triangulation and maneuvering hurt federal attempts, as competing bills receive varying levels of support and those proposing bills seek credit to burnish their electoral possibilities or support members of their own party.

Sens. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.), Cory Booker (D-N.J.) and Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) are crafting a long-awaited Senate bill similar to the MORE Act, the Cannabis Administration and Opportunity Act. The bill was supposed to be introduced earlier this month, but Schumer last week said it likely wouldn’t be finalized until August.

The competing bills may see a split in Democratic support. Complicating matters further, Rep. Nancy Mace (R-S.C.) has proposed her own version of cannabis legalization, the States Reform Act. Mace’s bill relegates much of the control to states, proposes a 3% excise tax, regulates cannabis “like alcohol,” and offers protections to veterans and cannabis business owners.

“In the Senate, they’re not going to get 60 votes,” AZNORML Political Director Jon Udell said. “Especially now that there’s a competing Republican proposal, that’s probably going to make it even less likely that the CAOA or the MORE Act attracts Republicans, because they’re going to want the Nancy Mace version instead of the Democratic version.”

MAYBE AN EASIER WAY On Oct. 6, 2021, Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) and Booker sent a letter to the Department of Justice asking the agency to use its authority to deschedule and decriminalize cannabis under the Controlled Substances Act of 1970 “in consultation with the Secretary of Health and Human Services.”

“Decriminalizing cannabis at the federal level via this descheduling process would allow states to regulate cannabis as they see fit, begin to remedy the harm caused by decades of racial disparities in enforcement of cannabis laws, and facilitate valuable medical research,” they wrote.

“We urge the DOJ to initiate the process to decriminalize cannabis. Doing so would be an important first step in the broader tasks of remedying the harmful racial impact of our nation’s enforcement of cannabis laws and ensuring that states can effectively regulate the growing cannabis industry, including by assisting small business owners and those most harmed by our historical enforcement of cannabis laws,” the letter concluded.

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UP IN SMOKE

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One month later, Warren appealed directly to President Joe Biden, this time with Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-Ore.), to encourage Biden to “pardon all individuals convicted of nonviolent cannabis offenses, whether formerly or currently incarcerated.”

“Our country’s cannabis policies must be completely overhauled, but you have the power to act now: you can and should issue a blanket pardon for all non-violent LAUGHING STOCK

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Roxy Merari started out six years ago hosting a modest open mic on Monday nights at the Wench. Eventually she began hosting the occasional local showcase. More recently Merari added semi-monthly booked shows that now often include regional or even out-ofstate comics she and The Wench attracted on Zoom.

“The pandemic was not a total disaster for (us),” Merari says. For quite a while we (did) live streamed mics weekly. We did virtual shows. Some people dissed us … but it ended up being awesome. I met comics from all over the country and world.

“Since then, several people (from) my virtual show came to Tucson and I got to hook them up with (shows) … including mine. And vice versa. Recently I was in Las Vegas and met a few comics in person that had been on my virtual show. They hooked me up with spots on their friends’ shows.”

Heading up the anniversary lineup are top local comics who have become personal friends, supporting Merari from the beginning.

Monte Benjamin tops the bill. Phoenix comic Leslie Barton is featured along with Mo Urban, who helped Roxy get the Wench mic off the ground. Rounding things out are Phoenix transplant Eden Nault and Matt Ziemak, who ran several shows and mics here before relocating to Sierra Vista last year.

BLACKROCK BREWERS Mo Urban is a busy woman. With friend and fellow comic Priscilla Fernandez, cast member of the wildly popular retro game show, Urban co-hosts a Wednesday open mic and showcases for women and LGBTQA+. She’s a top choice for other producers’ shows, too, and always draws a crowd. So she only schedules a

federal cannabis offenses, fulfilling your promises to the American people and transforming the lives of tens of thousands Americans,” Warren and Merkley said in a written statement. “As a candidate for President, you argued that ‘we should decriminalize marijuana’ and ‘everyone [with a marijuana record] should be let out of jail, their records expunged, be completely zeroed out.’ The first and simplest step in the process is a blanket pardon.” ■ This article originally ran on arizonamirror.com show at BlackRock Brewers when she has the bandwidth. That’s about every other month, she figures, but the dates aren’t predictable.

Somehow enough people find it to pack the house.

BlackRock is Tucson comedy’s easternmost venue, so Urban draws both comedians and audience from Tucson’s far east suburbs and surrounding communities to the south and southeast of town.

The May 21 lineup includes headliner is Phoenix comic Gene Moore, known for his high energy and fast-paced observational comedy based on his life experiences as a gay, Hispanic Army veteran. Fellow Phoenician Ray Earl is also featured along with Roxy Merari, Morgan Kuehn and long-time Tucson favorites Autumn Horvat and Rory Monserat, who teaches standup at Tucson Improv Movement.

JOEY MEDINA AT LAFFS Meanwhile, at Laff’s the comedy train still and always runs on time. In summer, that’s doors at 7 p.m. and shows at 8 and 10:30 p.m.

The menu is pretty extensive but we recommend the grilled cheese sandwiches and zucchini fries if you’re not meeting your two-item menu with cocktails.

What really matters, though, is that this weekend the featured performer is Joey Medina! You will remember him from Paramount Pictures’ classic feature film The Original Latin Kings of Comedy with Cheech Marin, Paul Rodriguez, George Lopez and Alex Reymundo. If you haven’t seen it, you can find it on Amazon Prime.

Medina is Puerto Rican, born and raised in the Bronx. He was a professional boxer before turning to comedy and eventually logging 50 TV appearances, including his own SHOWTIME Comedy Special, “Joey Medina: Taking Off The Gloves,” also now streaming on Prime.

Recently he toured New Zealand and Australia with Russell Peters and, he says, performed for more than 36,000 fans. ■

MAY 19, 2022

something you should explore with the help of a couples’ counselor.

Oh, and if sexting women he barely knows is his primary sexual interest and outlet, SORDID, your fiancé already opened your relationship—on his end. There’s no reason you should have to wait to open it on your end.

SAVAGE LOVE FREYED NERVES

By Dan Savage, mail@savagelove.net

I am a 37-year-old heterosexual woman in a monogamous relationship with a het cis male. Let’s call him “Rick.” We’ve been together for five years and engaged for two. Our sex went from passionate, fun and frequent early in the relationship to nearly nonexistent now. I have gently initiated conversations about how to spice it up—sexy dates, sex toys, new positions, even non-monogamy—but Rick never took me up on any of my suggestions. I encouraged him to get bloodwork done, thinking maybe it was a decline in testosterone or something. I loved him and was legitimately concerned. I also made the pact with myself that I could live with only having sex 4-5 times a year because Rick brought so much “good” to the table. Outside of sex, our relationship is supportive, positive, and fun.

Fast forward: I recently learned that Rick has a profile on an online dating app. We are not in an open relationship, even though I’d offered that as a possible solution to our sex woes. After some mild questioning, his story unraveled. He admitted to exchanging sexy pics and videos with more than 20 women on the internet over the last few years. He was apparently going into our spare bedroom or bathroom to make and send these videos—sometimes when I was home, sometimes when I was waiting in bed for him. After talking with a friend, she confided in me that Rick’s ex had discovered dozens of sexting convos on Rick’s phone with strangers when they were together.

My questions are both general and specific to me. First, is it possible for someone to be incapable of physical intimacy when there is love involved? I’m no expert, but it strikes me as troubling that Rick can’t make love with me—going so far as to blame it on hormonal shifts—when it’s not biological at all; he just prefers to jerk off with strangers.

Is this actually a thing? Only being physical-

ly attracted to an anonymous, impersonal, meaningless stranger? My next question is: Is there hope for a future with Rick when he is lying to me—a GGG partner who wanted to work through this—and also lying to himself? I think I know the answer, but: am I better off alone?

—Sick Of Rick’s Dick Image Doings Yes, SORDID, some people are incapable of being physically intimate when love is involved.

There are straight men out there with what’s called Madonna-whore complexes; these men can’t make love with and/or fuck women they love and respect. These men view sex as dirty and degrading, and they don’t wanna do dirty and degrading things with (or to) women they have feelings for.

Frankly, I don’t know what would be worse: being married to man that refused to fuck me (because he respected me too much) or being fucked by a man like that (because he didn’t respect me at all). On the flip side, there are straight women who seem to have husband-material complexes. There are guys they can see themselves married to and possibly having kids with—husband material, e.g., good, kind, reliable guys—but those aren’t the men they’re excited about fucking. Instead, it’s bad, unkind, unreliable guys that turn these women on.

Oh, and there’s a new type of long-term, committed, romantic partner out there who doesn’t wanna fuck people they love: freysexuals.

A freysexual may love their romantic partner and wanna marry that person and make a life with them, SORDID, but a freysexual doesn’t wanna and/or can’t fuck someone they have strong and/or any feelings for. Basically, love is erotic kryptonite to the freysexual. Being freysexual doesn’t excuse your fiancé’s dishonesty, SORDID,

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assuming he is freysexual. Simply put, if your fiancé is freysexual and knew that about himself—even if he didn’t know there was a word/bespoke sexual orientation for him—he should’ve disclosed that to you.

And if he only just realized it, he should’ve accepted your invitation to renegotiate the terms of your commitment, i.e., take you up on your offer to have an ethically non-monogamous relationship. (For the record: I’m not suggesting that freysexuality isn’t a legitimate sexual orientation—freysexuals already have their own pride flag, and we all know how high that bar is—but I am suggesting freysexuals shouldn’t make sexually-excusive commitments to romantic partners or demand sexually-exclusive commitments from romantic partners.)

Whatever the deal is with your fiancé, SORDID, weddings are not famous for reviving sexually moribund relationships. So, if you want more than supportive, positive, and fun vibes from your future husband—if you want regular and decent sex on top of all that—don’t marry this guy. But if the idea of being in a companionate marriage with this man appeals to you, SORDID, that’s

My partner and I recently bought a bar in a small town, far from the city we’d lived in, which has been both fun and challenging.

Anyway, a couple started coming in and quickly became very talkative about their personal situation. She’s a straight-presenting women, he’s a bisexual man, they have an open relationship. At first I thought, okay, great. It’s a small community, and I’m glad they feel comfortable being themselves in our place. But their behavior has rapidly escalated, however, to the man making comments to staff members that are inappropriate, ranging from crude come-ons to telling one all about how ugly and weird his own dick is. I’m guessing that shaming himself like that is a kink for him. But we don’t want to hear his confessions. I need to address it, but I wanted some advice as to how. Shutting down garden-variety horny cis guys is something I have decades of experience with, but I wonder if I should be more delicate here, given their situation. I don’t want anyone to think we are biased, but this behavior is not acceptable, and I need to protect my staff.

—Boundaries And Respectful Treatment Escape Numbskull Dumbasses P.S. Public Service Announcement: Bartenders are not sex workers. It is lazy and exhausting for people to assume that just because someone’s job is serving and entertaining you, that they also are game for fucking you or your partner or both of you or you and your friends. Double shame on the ones who also hold a gratuity hostage while you politely rebuff them. It happens a lot and needs to stop.

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

By Rob Brezsny. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 $1.99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone required.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “The only way to the truth is through blasphemy,” declared Aries author Flannery O’Connor. I appreciate the cheeky sentiment, but I don’t believe that all truth requires blasphemy.

In many cases, rebellion, irreverence and skepticism may be enough to pry loose hidden and buried information. Outright blasphemy isn’t necessary. What does this have to do with you? Well, I’m hoping you will be feisty and audacious in your quest for interesting truths. As you dig, I invite you to be less than perfectly polite.

Don’t be rude or unkind, of course. Just be charmingly bold.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me,” declares comedian Margaret Cho. I would love for you to summon her level of self-esteem and bravado in the coming weeks. According to my interpretation of the astrological omens, you now have the right and duty to boost your self-worth.

All of creation is conspiring with you to develop more faith in yourself. And if you do the work to deepen your confidence and self-esteem, there will be an added bonus: a health breakthrough. As spiritual author Caroline Myss says, “Belief in oneself is required for healing.” My prediction: You will rouse an enhanced power to get the soul medicine you need.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): According to the blogger Artemisiasea, “The grandeur of life is the attempt, not the solution. It’s about behaving as beautifully as one can under completely impossible circumstances; making room for what breathes in the presence of the attempt—in the coming-to-be.”

I invite you to embrace that wisdom in the coming weeks, Gemini. You won’t be dealing with impossible circumstances, but you may have to navigate your way through fascinating brainteasers and heart riddles.

Whatever your destination might turn out to be, enjoy the ride with all the verve you can summon. At least for now, put aside your longing for particular results and instead simply live your life as if it were a magnificent work of art.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): It will be in your interest to change more than usual in the coming weeks. I suppose you could wait around passively and scramble to adjust as life flings challenges your way. But the better approach would be to make conscious decisions about how you want to transform.

Identify the situations that would most benefit from modification and then initiate the transitions. Rather than depending on fate to provide you with random wake-up calls, choose constructive wake-up calls that are fun and invigorating.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “If everyone likes you, it probably means you aren’t saying much,” declared politician Donna Brazile. I suspect you will disprove her theory in the coming weeks. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you will have a lot to say; your communications will be even more interesting than usual. And yet, I also expect you will receive extra respect and appreciation from others. While you may articulate ideas that are challenging to some, you will do so with enough charisma to disarm agitated reactions. A winning combination: expressiveness and approval.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Have you heard of Virgo adventurer Reinhold Messner? The man is a marvel, and not just because he’s a passionate environmental activist. He was the first mountaineer to reach the top of Mount Everest alone, as well as the first to ascend Everest without supplemental oxygen. No one before him had ever climbed all 14 of the world’s peaks higher than 26,000 feet. He has transited Greenland and Antarctica without the aid of dog sleds or snowmobiles. He also completed a solo trip across the Gobi Desert. I propose we make Messner your inspirational role model for the next four weeks. You may not achieve history-making triumphs like him, but you could surpass what you assumed were your limits. I trust that you will break at least one of your personal records.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “The world is a very puzzling place. If you’re not willing to be puzzled, you just become a replica of someone else’s mind.” Author Noam Chomsky said that. It’s useful counsel for you right now. I’ll go even further. I will advise you to relish the healthy pleasures of being both mysterious and mystified.

Seek out fertile enigmas and be a fertile enigma yourself. Explore the rejuvenating wisdom of being indefinable and uncategorizable. Exult in the quizzical joys of Eternal Paradox.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Have you ever contemplated the beauty of the people and animals you care for and thought, “I would love to give them the strongest blessings I have to give, the smartest love I can express, and the best listening I’m able to provide.” If so, Scorpio, the coming days will be an excellent time to do that. You will have an extra capacity to offer exceptional gifts that are useful and inspirational. You will be at the peak of your ability to home in on what your beloveds need.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian author Madeleine L’Engle told us, “The discoveries don’t come when you’re looking for them. They come when for some rea-

son you’ve let go conscious control.” That approach isn’t absolutely true, but it may be useful for you to deploy in the coming weeks. I invite you to relinquish at least a modicum of your conscious control. And if zesty discoveries start flowing in, consider relinquishing even a bit more conscious control.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Is it a legend or a true story? Scholars disagree about whether Capricorn scientist Isaac Newton really was spurred to formulate the theory of gravity when an apple fell from the tree he was sitting beneath. This much is certain: Newton lived in the home near the famous apple tree. And that tree is alive today, 380 years after his birth. Ripe apples still fall from it. Is there an equivalent landmark or keystone from your own past, Capricorn—where an important insight arose or pivotal event happened? The coming weeks would be a good time to revisit that power spot, at least in your imagination, in quest of fresh inspiration.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian poet Jack Gilbert devoted himself to soulful beauty. I swooned when I first read his line, “We must unlearn the constellations to see the stars.” I cried for joy when he said, “We must have the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless furnace of this world.” On the other hand, I suspect Jack may have been overly consumed with his pursuit of lyrical moments. His girlfriend Linda Gregg said, “All Jack ever wanted to know was that he was awake—that the

Comics

trees in bloom were almond trees—and to walk down the road to get breakfast. He never cared if he was poor or had to sleep on a park bench.” I bring this up, dear Aquarius, hoping you will avoid Gilbert’s lack of attention to practical matters. In the coming weeks, I invite you to be your extravagant, idiosyncratic, interesting self to the max. But also be sure to eat healthy food, engage in pleasurable exercise, and get plenty of rejuvenating sleep—preferably in a comfortable bed rather than on a park bench.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The Uberfacts Twitter account informs me that if you were to consume the amount of food equivalent to what a hummingbird eats, you would eat 300 hamburgers or 7,800 cabbages per day. To match the amount of exercise a hummingbird gets while burning all those calories, you’d have to do approximately 37 bazillion jumping jacks.

You will never do this, of course. But in the coming weeks, you may be more metaphorically hungry than usual. I predict you will be voracious for new information and novel experiences and fresh ideas. Not 300 hamburgers or 7,800 cabbages’ worth—but still, a lot. My advice: Have fun being insatiably curious and greedy for stimulation.

Homework: Is there a situation you’re being lazy about? Should you be more discerning?

Newsletter.FreeWillAstrology.com

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34 Bug that no one likes 12 Band with the 4x 35 Yam source, historically? platinum albums “Out of 40 Québec street Time” and “Monster” 41 Egg: Prefix 13 Pitchfork-shaped letter 42 Some raw materials 16 Affect emotionally 43 Place to find a comet?

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SAVAGE LOVE

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I’m guessing these people started coming into your bar after you bought it, BARTEND, because the previous owners 86ed them years ago. And I predict their bad behavior is going to escalate the longer you hesitate to 86 these motherfuckers yourself.

I’m a 31-year-old straight woman with a quick question. I’ve been in an on-and-off-again relationship with a man since I was 18 years old. I’ve gotten more comfortable dating other men when we’re not “on.” We were “off” for the last year and I had an absolute ball. However, we got back together recently. The problem is my partner seems insecure suddenly and is constantly worried he’s not big enough. He sometimes even half jokes about getting surgery to make his dick bigger.

The other night out of the blue he said, “So, since you’re a lot more experienced now, bigger is better, right?” I don’t like this. Honestly, his new insecurities are making me feel less attracted to him and I’m starting to feel like we’ve hit a dead end in our relationship. Is this a sign that we should just break up?

—Completely Over Comparisons, Kapisce?

It’s either an annoying insecurity you won’t be able to put up with, COCK, or your on-and-off-again boyfriend is fumbling the disclosure of a kink. Sometimes when people want to tell their partner about a kink—a long-standing kink or a recently surfaced one—they’ll frame it negatively.

They’ll point to a “crazy” porn clip they stumbled over or share a “gross” story about something a friend did, COCK,

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in the hopes that their partner will say, “Hey, I don’t think that’s crazy or gross, I think that’s hot!” Since people tend to mirror the attitudes of important people in their lives, and since there’s no more important person than a romantic partner, disclosing kinks like this—framing them negatively so you can deny any interest when your partner invariably reacts negatively—is a terrible strategy.

Anyway, your boyfriend is either bringing up his anxiety about the bigger dicks you had during your last “off,” COCK, because he’s desperately insecure and needs constant reassurance that he’s not inadequate or because it turns him on to think about you being with men with bigger cocks and longs to be told that he is inadequate. To figure out what your boyfriend’s issue actually is here—intolerable insecurity, eroticized insecurity—ask him a direct question: “You ask about other men with bigger dicks a lot.

Does it turn you on to think about that?”

If the answer is yes, COCK, you might be able to make that work; a little dirty talk during sex about bigger guys you’ve been with, maybe a hall pass to go get some bigger dick once in a while. If the answer is no, tell him one last time that you’ve been with some bigger guys, yes, but you like his dick just fine, and you don’t want to talk about it anymore. If he refuses to stop bringing it up, then it’s off again. questions@savagelove.net Listen to Dan on the Savage Lovecast.

Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage.

Columns, podcasts, books, merch and more at savage.love.

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