A Brave Parent is...Willing to Self-Reflect

by Kathryn Kvols

I am sure that you have noticed that when you are off kilter, your children pick up on it and tend to lose it themselves.

Parenting is a process with many different elements involved, such as your parenting style, your child’s temperament, your child’s social circle, and the school they attend.

Self-reflection is a huge key to being the parent you want to be.

Try this exercise; it only takes a few minutes.

• Get into a quiet place alone. Or do this before you go to sleep at night.

• Take some deep breaths to help you settle into your chair or bed.

• Close your eyes.

• Put your most challenging child in front of your mind’s eye.

• Ask yourself, “What is this child trying to teach me?”

Here is my story:

My daughter and I had a rough time during her toddler years. What I learned from her was to be more present. I was often trying to do too many things at one time, or my mind was preoccupied with my priority lists. When I wasn’t present with her, she would throw more temper tantrums, and they would last for (what I felt) was an eternity.

When I learned how to be more present, like staying focused on just her when it was our play time or when she needed me, our relationship became calmer and more cooperative.

Your child may be teaching you how to be less controlling, more firm, more assertive, patience, etc. Whatever it is, be open to it.

There is a catch, though. It only helps to be self-reflective when you are being self-acceptant. Having a difficult time does not make you a bad parent. You and your family are in the process of how to live together peacefully. This takes time and a lot of patience.

Kathryn Kvols During her 30 years of study on best parenting practices, Kathryn wrote thebook and parenting course Redirecting Children’s Behavior. This course is being taught in 21countries and has been translated into five languages. Her researched-based strategies haveempowered thousands of parents to redirect their kid’s misbehaviors into positive outcomeswithout nagging, yelling, or taking away privileges. The 4th edition can be pre-ordered on Amazon.

A sought-after international speaker, trainer, and parenting coach, her most important role hasbeen as a mom to her children. Her experiences as a mom, a single mom, and stepmom make hera compassionate and effective facilitator. Her participants always walk away with practical tools theycan implement immediately that create connection rather than conflict. For more information visit herwebsite at www.apecparenting.com.