Revise: Replacing Plain Words One thing the writer might have done better was to use sensory details instead
of ordinary words. Sensory details make writing more vivid, descriptive, and enjoyable to read. Here is an example of how a sentence from the Student Model could be improved.
@|
She was
wet and cold.
Il/a'tez dn tAr/r/'(4n'rtuA2r"fo4ryftul an,a,frp'aA,h,"etul' anl'r?t/r.{^e/rrL2t" ar/m"o,
{o'" ulanttnf/u.
A. Revise these sentences. Replace the plain words with vivid sensory details.
1.
Melissa was wide-eyed with excitement.
2. "N-n-n-no," she said.
3. The kids-quieted and looked at
4.
B.
She
her.
didn't seem to care.
Revise the character description you wrote on page 10. Replace plain words
with
vivid sensory details. Use another sheet of paper.'
Writer's Companion'. UNIT 1 Lesson 1 Sensory Details