Self Love WORDS BY KARLA HIGGINS ART BY ELLA SLOANE
If someone were to ask you how you felt about yourself, what would your response be? Would you say that you like yourself? Dislike yourself? Find yourself annoying? Or do you think you are an amazing person, who deserves everything that this life has to offer?
Undoubtedly, there are numerous reasons why this may be the case, some of which are decidedly universal issues, while others can be a lot more personal, and will differ person to person. Regardless of the “why” behind it, social media experiences a perpetual field day either way, as it exploits these insecurities and sense of fragility for every penny. And unfortunately, it would appear that there is no easy solution to be found, rather it is just another issue in a whole host of others that we simply have to accept for what it is.
Society may not want you to know it, but trust me when I say that loving yourself is an option. It certainly isn’t easy, and oftentimes it won’t come naturally to you, but the important thing to note is that it is a choice - a choice that you have to make What’s ironic about all this self-love talk is that, in everyday to make it happen. Choose to value theory, it should be the easiest love to come by - it comes from yourself as you would someone you love, choose to within, and from the one person in the world that you know will forgive yourself when you make a mistake, choose always have your best interest at heart (or should) - yet in today’s to see the qualities in yourself that make others love society, we seem to be much more willing to give our love, care you, and choose to be the person you would want to and affection to anyone but ourselves. Often, it is the leftover be there for your best friend when they’re sad - and scraps we reserve for ourselves, that is if there is even anything be that person for yourself. In order to make it work, I left to give. think you need to understand the simple fact that there By no means am I encouraging people to be self-conceited is nobody in this world that you will spend more time or apathetic; there is a substantial difference between loving with than yourself, and like anyone else, you need to yourself as a human being, and being so self-obsessed that the ensure that you are someone that you want to be around. feelings of others subsist as mere afterthoughts, or worse, go on entirely disregarded. The resulting confusion of trying to If someone were to genuinely ask me, you know what, distinguish between these concepts can be extremely yeah, I can honestly say that I do love myself, and problematic and damaging, when, in reality, these emotions I’m not exactly sure when I decided to feel that way. are worlds apart. What I’m talking about is establishing a Maybe it is the result of my Nana telling me to say it to meaningful relationship with yourself; a relationship that myself in the mirror as a little girl, or maybe it is just you see as being just as important, if not more, as any other something I learned along the way. But that doesn’t relationship in your life - a bond that you see as inextricably mean that it’s a constant feeling. There are times connected to your own happiness and well-being, the damage when I get frustrated with myself, and maybe even and ill-treatment of which should not be considered in terms dislike myself. But those emotions are fleeting. of indifference. Of course, this is easier said than done - it is Self-love is what’s left when those emotions fade, and they common knowledge that we are quicker to engage in acts always will. And yes, there are times when that love can of self-deprecation, often as the brunt of a joke, than acts of probably make me a little selfish - but that too is self-love. transient. Truth be told, I don’t think there is any set of The nagging question is why? Why is it so hard to treat ourselves as we would a friend, or loved one? We are so eager to show them that we understand whatever they are going through, and will be there for them rain, hail, or shine. We will cheer for them through their successes, and reassure them through their losses. However, when it is ourselves who are in need of that friendly ear, or those comforting words, they are nowhere to be found.
steps to follow to find self-love. I remember being asked by a friend before, and I was completely baffled by the question because I didn’t think it was something others noticed. But maybe it is a palpable quality that shines right through your character. Whatever way you want to put it, I think you just have to find something, one thing, that you do like about yourself, and work from there. 35
