Relationships

Relationships Come In All Shapes And Sizes

Maintaining positive relationships in life affects our mental and physical health. Did you know having weekly dinner dates with your spouse can support your feelings of security? Were you aware that the weekly catch-up conversations you’ve been having with your best friend brings more meaning into your life? So, the big question is: How do these relationships begin and continue over time? We asked three locals to share their inspiring stories, because not only do relationships contribute to your happiness, but they also boost your feelings of joy with the most important person in your life — yourself.

Friendship

In the midst of COVID, Louisville resident, Lucy Pritchett, was searching for online meditation groups. “On a lark, I googled, ‘meditation meetings in California,’” Lucy says. Having previously lived along California’s central coast, she thought it might be fun to reconnect with residents there. Lucy found a promising group, and when she logged on, she discovered a delightfully welcoming crew. “I think they were intrigued — especially with how I pronounced ‘Louisville,’” Lucy says. One woman was particularly friendly, and Lucy remembers, “She and I had a nice little chat, and we exchanged phone numbers.” And that’s how Lucy’s new long-distance friendship began.

“Melissa and I have remained in touch almost every day since we met,” Lucy begins, “we text almost every day.” Lucy admits their friendly Wordle competition helps these daily check-ins, but it’s their many shared interests that keep them close. “We’re about the same age, and we love word games and word puzzles. And, you know, we love to read,” says Lucy. Sharing common interests in a friendship can deepen your conversations leading to more enjoyable times spent together. Lucy says shared interests, and the fact they both have friendly outgoing attitudes, keep them connected in spite of the 2,238 miles between them.

When describing their friendship, Lucy says she and Melissa laugh a lot. “We don’t take things too seriously.” And Lucy remarks that she learns a great deal from her friend during their talks. Whether it’s about world news or pop culture, her longdistance bestie has her covered. Put all of these friendship fun facts together, and it’s here that happiness levels rise and their friendship continues to evolve.

Lucy says the relationship has definitely deepened over time. So much so that when Melissa recently invited her to California for a visit, Lucy accepted. Their first in-person meeting was easy and familiar, and Lucy stayed with Melissa in her home for a few days. “I called her my social secretary. She arranged a luncheon with four or five other women that were in our meditation group,” Lucy says. Then they toured some of the sights of California’s central coast together. “We had known each other online for so long that it was nice to meet in person,” Lucy says.

Research suggests that making new friends as an adult can be tough, and Lucy adds that after a certain age, it’s hard because you kind of get settled. However, new friendships can be just as rewarding as long-standing ones when you open yourself up to the possibility — or Google search. “Melissa and I just connected. That's just all I can say about that.”

Mentorship

Pam Greenwell was serving as president of the Friends of the Library when she met Deja. Pam says, “Deja had wanted to get involved with The Friends so we had coffee, and as I began to see her work, I realized she should become the next president.” Deja was interested so the two decided to spend time together over the next year so Pam could show Deja the ropes. Deja did indeed become president while Pam stayed on the board of directors to be of support. And that’s how a trusted mentor/ mentee friendship began to thrive.

Mentors are there to provide guidance and support from their own experience to help you in your career and in life. Having a mentor can have a big impact on boosting your selfconfidence and providing a safe space to talk about anything and everything. This describes Pam and Deja’s relationship, who find time to go out at least once a month to have coffee, walk together through a park, or simply talk on the phone. The two discuss anything from career trajectories to organizations they both serve to all the life questions that pop up. Pam says one reason their relationship works is because she speaks her mind when giving advice. “I’m pretty direct, and that works fine for both of us.”

It’s true we often view mentoring as a “one-sided friendship,” but mentorship is a relationship where both people benefit. “I don’t think of myself as a mentor per se,” Pam says. This is because Pam enjoys Deja’s company and says their friendship is a two-way street. “I learn from her, too,” Pam says. One way this learning happens is due to the age difference between them. With 40 years dividing them, the two use this age difference for connection and a way to learn more about one another and the generations in which they were raised.

When it comes to happiness in a relationship, Pam is quick to say, “I enjoy people, and if I can be helpful, that makes me happy.” Pam’s willingness to support her friends and loved ones moves her through the world with a “ready to help” attitude. These acts have been shown to create a sense of belonging and purpose, and create stronger friendships. This might be why Pam remarks, “I don’t call myself Deja’s mentor, I call her my friend.”

MARITAL/ROMANTIC

When Abigail met Gregory in 2001, they weren’t even living in the same city. “We met at a luau in Boston while I was living in New York City and Greg was living in Chicago,” Abigail begins, “we started talking at a mutual friend’s party and haven’t stopped since.”

Abigail and Gregory returned to their respective cities and began a long-distance courtship. They talked on the phone, emailed, and wrote letters, and Abigail says, “The first few months of us not being together was the greatest way to strengthen our relationship because we weren’t distracted by being together.” Taking time to truly get to know one another allowed Greg to confidently move to New York three months later. Then a year after that, the two were married, and now reside in Louisville.

When it comes to marital relationships, couples who delight in spending time with their partner report higher satisfaction in life and lower stress. This is especially true for Abigail and Greg Maupin. “You’d think because we spend all of our time together (we live together and work together), we’d have run out of stuff by now, but we have such common interests there’s always something we can do together,” Abigail explains. Movies, travel, books, and game nights are only a handful of activities this couple loves to do together. And all these hobbies and adventures keep them engaged, and as Abigail says, “It means we don’t get bored.”

Happiness for Abigail and Greg means connecting and continuing to stay close as a couple. “We take date nights and there’s a real mindfulness in doing that,” Abigail says. Having a date night with your spouse or partner gives you a chance to check in and deepen your bond. This is why Greg and Abigail are intentional about setting aside time to have conversations and make sure they’re taking time together.

Over the years, Greg and Abigail’s relationship has evolved steadily, with the occasional short burst propelling them forward — but always together.

Creating intentional time together and being aware of their connection supports their relationship “We do like doing things together,” Abigail says. This keeps them grounded and most importantly…happy.

By Tonilyn Hornung

Summer 2023 / Today's Transitions