Toddler To Teens Online Magazine by Melissa Groom

Issue 2 July 2011

Sibling Rivalry

Mummy Makeover

You Sexy Mother

Holiday on a Budget More “YOU” time Successful Mumpreneurs www.toddlerstoteens.tv

Mummy Makeover Before

Photos courtesy of Beverly Cassidy Photography, www.beverlycassidy.com.au Image consultation by Anne Whitaker, House of Colour Brisbane www.houseofcolour.net.au/annewhitaker Hair by Ilona Lehner from Ilonaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Beauty Works in Bonogin, QLD 07 5525 3549 If you know someone that needs a makeover, must be Gold Coast area, dob her in.

Email: Melissa@toddlerstoteens.tv

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After

Contents Mummy Makeover

Organise Your Life

Letter from the Editor

Stunning SunSmart Swimwear

Meet the Team

School and Health Snacks

Pam Brossman

You Sexy Mother Story

Lynne Palmen

Post Natal Depression

Affordable World Travel

What is Organic?

Teaching Your Child The Value of Money

Pelvic Floor

How to Have More Time

Organise Your Thought Patterns

Overcoming Parental Guilt

Directory

Powerful Parenting

What is Toddlers to Teens Parent TV Show? Toddlers To Teens TV, is a website that incorporates video segments from parenting experts to give parents practical and informative advice on raising their children. Our experts include parenting experts, childhood behaviour management specialists, an organising expert, a finance expert, naturopath, fitness trainer, bedtime and toilet training expert, that give advice on a range of topics to help make parents lives easier. The show provides parents with free information and gives them advice on a range of topics, from children’s bedtime routines and toddler toilet training through to dealing with adolescents, www.toddlerstoteens. tv is the brainchild of Melissa Groom, a mother with three special needs children. Melissa thought of the concept of launching an online parenting TV channel as she sat in Brisbane’s Mater Children’s Hospital at her son’s bedside. He was recovering form his life-saving operation, a kidney transplant, that he underwent in September 2010. “I realised that my son Nicholas would need ongoing care

and attention and that I would need to create a business that I could operate from home,” says Melissa, a former children’s etiquette trainer whose daughter Grace is Anaphylactic, and other son Matthew has Aspergers and ADHD, both forms of Autism. “The site brings together some of the best experts in Australia, who regularly impart their knowledge and advice onto video segments that are posted to the website,” explains Melissa. To receive the TV Guide and have access to the show you will need to subscrie, which si free. You can do so on the website, www.toddlerstoteens.tv or our Facebook site, www.facebook.com/toddlerstoteens. “Like” us on Facebook and feel free to post your parenting questions for our panel to help you with your parenting pains. We are here to help. Enquiries to Melissa@toddlerstoteens.tv We have limited interview spots available so book your spot in now so we can help grow your business.

Advertise in our next edition for as little as $50 for 1/2 page.

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A Note From The Editor

’d like to once again thank our wonderful Panel of Experts who have helped me to put together Toddlers to Teens Parent TV Show. They volunteer their time to give free parenting advice for our show each week. I’d also to thank our Melissa Groom like Mummy Makeover Team who are donating their time and services to give one lucky mum a full makeover. You can meet all the girls in this magazine. They will share with you their tips, tools and strategies to parent with confidence, enjoy being a parent and look amazing. Thank you also to all the contributors to the magazine. Together we ahve united to bring you something that will make a difference in your life that you will look forward to every edition. For all of you who know my family circumstance, I would just like to share that Nicholas’ doctor said he’s doing great and we might be cutting back to only 6 weekly visits. Nick’s new kidney courtesy of his dad has kicked in so well. Nick is growing well on his own without daily injections of growth hormones. He will have to continue having anti-rejection mediation for the rest of his life but he has a new lease on life. He said he’s got so much energy and no more headaches, and he loves the fact there are no more diet restrictions. As his mother, it’s like winning the lotto. I don’t think winning the lotto would ocme close to the feeling of elation I have to see him enjoy life so much. Just four months after his transplant he competed in his school swimming carnival, placing in every race. He also ran around all day and filmed the event, being the avid film maker he is! Then I watched him compete in his school cross country. Every day seeing him alive and with so much energy and passion for living life to the max is like winning the lotto for me! Earlier this year I did suffer from a melt down. If anything it was more overtired than

anything. Nick has had a few ups and downs and admissions to hospital. It is an emotional roller coaster having the school ring you and say Nick has chest pains and the ambulance is on it’s way, or the doctor telling you they think he might have meningitis and we’ll have to do a lumbar puncture. It means sleepless nights, and constant worry. The thing is I look at Nick and he says to me, “You know I’ll always be alright mum.” He’s never once complained, not even when he had to spend his 12th birthday in hospital due to a severe middle ear infection, and miss out on his birthday party (which we eventually had the week after.) Nick’s grandma always said to me, “Things of which you worry and fret, often haven’t happened yet.” It’s not as easy to live by but looking at Nick, he’s living life to the max and he’s not worried at all, he’s so happy. What more could a mum want, other than to wish for her children to be healthy and happy! He has certainly taught me to live for today and make the most of it. Grace and Matthew are doign great at school. Grace is enjoying her piano lessons, and Girl Guides. Matthew and Nick have joined Scouts with their dad. If there is anything I want to teach my children, it’s to help others. Scouts and Guides will shape them into adults who will have great respect, empathy and willingness to help others. If you are a business owner and your goal is to grow your business this year, we want to help you. Contact us for more information on how we can help grow your business in 2011. Take care of yourself and have grateful day

Wishing you all the best for 2011 Melissa Groom

My Inspiration

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Toddlers to Teens Team

Claire McFee

Donna Emerson

Davina Sharry

Alli Price

Fe Taylor

Kirsty Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Callaghan

Lay-Ean Eng

Margaret Saunders

Michelle Wright

Sam Beau Patrick

Ilona Lehner

Anne Whitaker

Beverly Cassidy

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How Being A Mum Entrepreneur Can Be The Most Rewarding Career of All For those of you who may not know me, let me introduce myself. My name is Pam Brossman and I am first and foremost a doting mother to my beautiful 7yo son Hunter. In fact he is the reason that I do what I do now. I am also the CEO of Social Media Woman Online Magazine and joint Director together with my husband at Magnetic Digital Marketing. If you were to ask me 7 years ago what I thought I would be doing in 2011, I would never have believed my story either. That is why I want to share it with you today. Because I truly believe that the entrepreneurial dream [for those who want a career while being a fabulous Mum], is a dream that any Mum can achieve. I hope my story inspires you to take a leap of faith and just go out there and create the life of your dreams too. Pam’s Story… I’d wanted children for as long as I can remember. And the day I found out I was pregnant would have to be the best day of my life. A memory that still gives me goose bumps to this very day. You see I became a Mum very late in life [Hunter was born when I was 39] and I knew the moment I layed eyes on him that I had been truly blessed with the greatest gift in life. I had been in the Corporate Communications industry for the last 12 years, earning a high income and working for some of the leading organisations in Australia. But when it came to return from maternity leave, something inside of me said ‘this little boy deserves to spend the first 5 years of his life with his Mum’ and that is when I knew that the Corporate life was no longer for me. For the first 2 years I just loved being a fulltime Mum. But I soon realised that I needed something to keep my mind growing while spending time with my son so I went in search of something I could do from home. By accident, or was it fate….I received an invitation in the mail to a free lunch where I could learn how to make money from home on the internet. It peaked my curiosity, so my husband and I went along to find out more. 2 hours later and $5,000 less in my pocket, I walked out with 5 websites and no idea what I was going to do with them.

Pam Brossman (pictured with Hunter left and Steve) CEO, Social Media Woman I nearly gave up…For the next 3 years I worked part-time trying to learn everything there was to know about creating websites and making money online. So many times I wanted to give up but I never did. Why? Because whenever I looked at my son, I knew that putting him in daycare, to go back to working 50 hour weeks, was not an option so I kept going. I created many businesses over that time, making a little bit of money here and there all the while growing my knowledge in the area of website creation, online marketing, SEO and product creation. Even though at the time I did not feel I was making any ground, I soon realised that nothing I did was ever a waste of my time. Every business I built was teaching me what I needed to learn to be successful as an entrepreneur and as it turned out became a very important part of my journey. The year it all fell into place….. The year my son started school I happened to be on a teleseminar with Janet Beckers listening to a women talk about this thing called video marketing. It peaked my curiosity as my background in the

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coporate world was visual communications and I knew this was something I could easily do. When I learnt that you could make money using video, and more importantly Powerpoint videos, I started getting excited. It was also a time when social media started to get traction online including Twitter, Youtube and Facebook and the online world as we new it, was starting to change. For the first time in my life, I was in the right place at the right time and I was ready! The more I learnt about video and social media the more my business grew. I started meeting people from around the world and they were interested in my knowledge. The knowledge that I had accumulated over the last 3 years teaching myself online marketing. I took a gamble and it paid off…. One day late in 2009 I came up with this idea of creating an online magazine whereby experts in every area of social media could share their knowledge and I could create a medium in which to distribute that knowledge around the world. I had no idea what I was doing, I had never created a magazine in my life, but my gut told me to do it so I thought ‘what did I have to lose’. That is when Social Media Woman Online Magazine was born.

2.5 years on I have an internationally recognised brand. I have been invited to speak on stages around the world. I am a contributing author to 2 best sellers and 2 other books [one about to be launched shortly]. I have been featured on the cover of a national women’s magazine. I now create and sell my own products globally, I have a high six figure income and I still get to spend quality time with my son and my business partner husband travelling around the world. Yes I have my dream life and so can you! My lessons that I would like to pass onto you….. What lessons did I learn along the way? Well looking back I would have to say… Self belief was the number one ingredient to where I am now. Without it I would never

have got started in the first place. A strong ‘why’ that kept me going when the going got tough [My son] A social network around the world that allowed me to meet the most amazing people and open up doors to opportunities that I never would have dreamt of [Social media is a must in this digital age] Investing in mentors who were already where I wanted to be [ Huge impact on my growth] Being true to my values and the values of my family [Very important] Putting my child first before anything else [ When he needs me I am there and that will never change] Loving what I am doing – [The passion gets you through the hard times] Staying focused on the end goal – [You must have a destination or you will just go around in circles] Daring to dream and then going out there and having a go [Just do it!] “Life is a journey whereby you get to choose the destination and you get to create the map. All you need to do is take that first step and just keep going. You can figure out the rest along the way. Just remember to enjoy the ride because, you only get one life so make sure it’s a good one!” Pam Brossman, CEO, Social Media Woman http://www.socialmediawoman.com

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MumPreneurs - Blending Working and Family Forget Balancing - it’s all about blending by Lynette Palmen AM, Founder and Managing Director, Women’s Network Australia ©

Many are often surprised to find out that I am a single mother of two.

The youngest, Ms Maddison, (who by the way runs the place) has just turned 12. She’s a born fighter having arrived early at just 28 weeks. As only another mother could understand running Women’s Network Australia between one hourly feeds was a challenging and exciting adventure. Added to this already hectic time in my life, I also found myself suddenly single within a few weeks of her birth, so it just followed that Maddi’s cot took prime position at WNA’s Head Office. But the real point I am trying to make here is that there is no easy or lucky path to success - everyone has a story to tell and experiences to share on how they make it all work.

Strategies I have personally implemented to stay on track as a MumPreneur: • Forget the words 'balancing work and family' and start using the word 'blending'. Balancing sounds like at any moment you're about to take a big fall. Do whatever it takes to blend your family and your business. Both of my children have grown up with the office being an extension of their home. And if your clients don't get it - get new clients. • Share your money. Hire a cleaner for at least 4 hours a week, get your lawn mowed and have your car cleaned monthly and work like a dog to ensure you never have to give up these extras. Hired help can provide justification and save your sanity on days when your life is falling apart and you're questioning what on earth ever possibly made you think you could run a

business. Yes - we all have bad days! • When hiring your staff for your business make sure they are kid-friendly and at least one has a background in childcare prior to their employment with you. This person's skills will come in very handy for all sorts of sticky situations that arise in the workplace and with your life in general. • Don't restrict yourself to the options used by others to manage kids and business. And have no guilt. I want my children to remember that their mum wasn't always right, but she was never afraid and always willing to have a go. • Believe in yourself and think laterally. Surround yourself with extended family and friends who believe in you and your business idea, people who are like-minded and excited and willing to be part of your success. And always believe you are special enough for them to want to be involved and gain enjoyment from seeing you do really well. I could go on but I won't. It will all be in my book Must write that one day! Author: Lynette Palmen AM Business: Women’s Network Australia Business entrepreneur Lynette Palmen AM established Women’s Network Australia in 1990. Inspired by her own personal and business experiences in the corporate sector during the 80s and 90s, she set out to create an organisation based on what she wished had been available to her. She spends much of her time travelling across the Nation speaking to, for and about women and the issues that are important to women and their success in the corporate, small business and homebased sector. Some 20 years on WNA now boasts in excess of 15,000 Members and Subscribers with over 40,000 business women benefiting from its existence. Read more: http://www.womensnetwork.com. au/page.cfm?PageCode=work-family&site_ id=1#ixzz18RoLD2u2

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Looking and feeling beautiful can feel like hard work, but I am here to tell you it can be made easy. I am not a professional stylist or beauty therapist. I am a pro photographer, and I see beautiy in women every day. The beauty I talk about is not just the external beauty that everyone can see that is that beatuy that comes from within. I believe that you can start to feel more beautiful just by believing you are a beautiful person and ensuring that everything you do, say and think comes from that beautiful place within you. Next step is get your colours done because knowing what colours are best suited to you personally and wearing them all the time, even in your hair and with your makeup, you will have people commenting on how great you look more often and in turn your self esteem will skyrocket! Learn how to do your hair and makeup quickly, so that you feel like you can do it more often, like on those days when you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel so great, by just adding a splash of colour to your face you can feel better instantly. I then recommend getting a professional portrait taken of yourself and showin it off to your friends and family. They will compliment you and you will feel awesome! Also having a photo taken of yourself when you look and feel your best will give you the physical proof to show to yourself that you truly are beautiful. I think having that proof handy when you are feeling down an help to bring you back up. My recommended businesses to help with your makeover are... House of Colour Brisbane

http://www.facebook.com/HouseofColourBrisbane Ilonas Beauty Works in Bonogin Synful Kitty Make up https://www.facebook.com/pages/Synful-KittieMake-up-Artistry/16369 Me - see my beautiful clients photographs, they truly are beautiful women! http:/beverlycassidy.com.au

I have personally worked with all of these women and recommend their services highly. I have seen what their services can do for a woman and I tell you the results are amazing! If you would like to win a mummy makeover to help you on your journey to look and feel more beautiful all you have to do is sign up for the newsletter at http://toddlerstoteens.tv Good luck!

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Save Thousands On Your Next Family Holiday! By Sherry Symonds We all love the feeling of escaping from our usual daily lives and packing our bags to jet set to a new and exciting destination. As we settle down and have families this luxury becomes more expensive and more of a hassle, especially with young children. This is the reason why more and more people are catching onto the idea of home swapping each and every day. Home swapping is one of the fastest growing trends in today’s tourism industry and is becoming a worldwide success, due to the many benefits it offers.

What is home swapping and who does it?

Home swapping is where you swap your home with another party for an agreed period of time. We believe that most people likely to do a home swap are young couples with children. They are switched on families who are savvy with their money and try to utilise it in the smartest way possible. They are also adventurous people who love traveling to new, exciting and interesting destinations. Although many people have heard of home swapping only a handful have ever done it. We believe many more would actually give a try if the service was right and with a bit more insight!

- Money savings - With free accommodation worldwide it’s obvious that families can save a lot of money when they home swap, and we all know there’s nothing better than free, right! If you add up the costs of accommodation and also other factors such as car hire and flights this can add up to thousands of dollars. - Convenience of a home that’s ‘decked out or kids’. All children have needs, whether it is their favourite toys or little people’s accessories.

The Benefits of Home Swapping

and Why it’s perfect for your family

- Home swap versus hotel - one of the problems with staying in hotels is the lack of space in a room or suite that is needed for a family. There would be nothing worse than being stuck in a hotel room with bored children, and having to go out all of the time to keep them entertained. With a self contained house though, you have the choice of being able to eat in or have BBQ with the family and enjoy the space and comfort of being able to stay inside without getting on each other’s nerves. If your swap partner has children of a similar age there will most likely be toys, books, board games, computer games etc, already there for their amusement.

Just imaging going on holidays and not having to take a port-a-cot, change table, strollers, bikes or what seems like hundreds of toys and so on. Your swap partner may already have all of these ready and waiting for you to help yourself to on your arrival, as you might have for them also. - More holidays to enjoy - Being curious and inquisitive humans like we are, travel will always play a big part in our lives and home swapping allows us to be able to extend holiday durations or be able to go on many more holidays because of the savings you gain by not paying for accommodation.

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Still have some questions...

Worried about damage to to property? Not sure about letting strangers into your home? Concerned your home isn’t fancy enough to swap? We address all of your concerns in the ‘common questions’ section of our website.

Sherry Symonds is the Founder of Family Hoilday HOME SWAP, which is a home swap service that specialises in families. We do this by offering specific needs and wants to this niche market. For further details pleasse visit http://www.familyholidayhomeswap.com

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For all our Toddlers to Teens It’s Never Too Early to Teach Them The Value of Money Teaching your children the value of money from a young age is vitally important! It is really no different than teaching them any other skills as part of their daily lives. In todays fast paced and competitive world it is extremely important that they learn and can feel confident around money. It can install great behavioural patterns to ensure they can make good financial decisions in the future. Your toddlers may not understand money, but one thing they do understand is “I want”. As they grow older they will learn the difference between the ‘want’ and the ‘need’. From around 5 years of age they should be able to recognise and identify the different denominations of money. As they develop their counting skills involve them in counting both notes and coins. A good opportunity for this is when you are putting some change into their piggy bank. Show and tell them the value of each of the coins. When they are out shopping with you, talk to them about the cost of different items. When using cash to purchase let them see the value of the money needed to buy the item. As they start school they will begin to learn about responsibility and accountability. Ensure that the kids are earning money by completing chores. If you have a teenager draw up a contract with them. The contract should spell out what chores and behaviours will entitle them to their fortnightly pocket money, and detail what expenses their pocket money should cover for such things as food or magazines, or gifts. Teach them about budgeting and saving for some of the more expensive items they may want to purchase. Help your children set goals. If they want a new toy car get them to draw up a savings plan and stick

a picture of the car at the end of the chart. Visuals are great ways to encourage good saving behaviour. If you have teenagers encourage them to start earning some extra money outside your home. Maybe babysitting or washing cars for neighbours. They will soon realise earning money is not easy. Teach them to always compare prices and shop for a bargain. Maybe even give them the responsibility of looking after some items in the family budget. They could even do the research for you when comparing prices for phone, electricity etc. If you have a family event coming up let them do the budget, compare prices and basically have full responsibility before presenting to the family. For your older teens, independence is important to them, so you will also need to teach them about time management. They may have a part-time job so will need to fit this in with their studies. Once they start earning their own money they may also start thinking about buying a car. They will now need to learn about all the extra costs that come with running a car, and in particular saving for those larger costs items such as insurance, registration and any unexpected expenses. Teaching your children about money is a time investment you can make for their future. You are their role model from an early age and the time you make to involve and teach your children will ensure they are able to make sound financial decisions for their future. Donna Emerson is a fully accredited Mortgage Broker with 30+years experience. Contact donna@responsiblefinancesolutions.com.au

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Music Matters Psychologists, neuroscientists, and experts in early childhood development have demonstrated that music does more for children than bring them joy; it helps their brain cells make the connections needed for virtually every kind of intelligence. Kindermusik’s curriculum is built on this research. When young children are consistently engaged by music in an ageappropriate, socially accepting environment, they benefit at many levels: •

They gain the phonological processing, spoken language, and comprehension skills that are the foundation of reading.

•

They build the spatial-temporal and reasoning skills required for math, science, and engineering.

•

They develop social and emotional skills that are essential for school readiness—like the ability to regulate their responses and relate to others in complex ways.

By moving and dancing to music and playing simple instruments, children improve their gross and fine motor skills. Activities that encourage freedom within a fun and friendly structure spark their creativity. And of course, they develop a lifelong love of music.

Making music a part of your child’s daily life improves her ability to move, think, create, reason, and express. Research proves it. Here’s your chance to see why 99% of Kindermusik parents would recommend it to other parents.

To find a participating location, visit www.kindermusik.com One preview class per child. May not be combined with any other offer.

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How You Too Can Have More Time! Some years ago when I lived in inner city Melbourne, my friend Rob visited from New Zealand. Rob also had

traveled around the world and had experienced a very eventful life. So after a few days when he commented that I had a country lifestyle whilst in the city I began to wonder what it was that I did. He also commented along the lines that we didn’t rush about, that everything hummed around our home life and that I wasn’t monitoring my girls here and there. He was right. We had plenty of time to do everything and everything we did, we did with plenty of time. My day followed a routine, which included rituals, and everyone knew what was done, when it was done, and what would happen next. I had rituals with the way I would say the same phrase to my daughters first thing in the morning. “It is now time to get up and bless your day!” I had a ritual quesiton that was asked at every meal. “What was the best part of your day, today?” I followed a sequence of events that were the same, every night an hour before bedtime, and our bedtime routine was adhered to night after night after night. To cap it all off I even had a routine of how we all go t in the car the same way, every time. This was done in age order, the youngest first, and when she had outgrown her baby seat she sat in the front and her older sister spread herself out in the back of the car. Going places was made simpler and easier by shopping at the same shops that were walking distance from our home. We made friends wiht our local greengrocer, butcher, deli and newsagent. Every time we shopped we made out we were having a social visit and always chatted to the shop owners. I hardly ever took my daughters into my local supermarket. On Sundays I woudl drop off my weekly shopping list to

the nearest chekc out person and on Mondays about noon, Sma the Supermarket Man would deliver my oder and have my change ready. If ever he didn’t have what I had asked for her brought a replacement and never charged me. When it was time for us to leave the city he told us that he alawys looked forwards to Mondays and doing my orders. When we needed some fresh air I would take my daughters to the corner playground or a walk in the nearby reserve, or to a bigger playground that was down the road and around the corner. We lived our city life as if we were in a country village. My daughters did not expect to have outings and be taken places every day in the car. On occasions I would take them to the local library and for them this was considered a special event. They did not even know what a McDonalds was until they were much older. We always had time to hang about at home. We played, cooked, did the chores and generally hung out. I had the philosophy that if I hadn’t done all the chores by the time my eldest daughter had gone to bed...what was left over didn’t get done. There was always tomorrow. We also had an ultimate expeirence of a do nothing day in our home. Every now and again we would have a pajama day. We spent the whole day in our pajamas. How relaxing. Doing even more of nothing. The fact that our home was in the city on these days never occured to us. It felt more that we lived in the country. After these days we all woke bright eyed and bushy tailed and able to take on the world, no matter what! And when we told our chiropractor about this she instigated a pajama day where she work her pajamas and slippers and asked everyone else to do the same when they came to her clinic and they did! More than once people commentd on our ease of living and how I only did one thing at a time and how I always had time

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for whatever my girls wanted me to do with them and how smoothly our lives seemed to be and how extraordinary my daughters were. But more often the comments were that whenever people visited it never felt as if they were visiting us in the city...it always felt to them we were living in the country.

Step By Step And Tips For You

• Have routines and rituals and an order of events for your day. • Have routines and rituals for bedtimes. • Do only one thing at a time and if something isn’t finished or done by the time your eldest child goes to bed, do it tomorrow. • Shop at the same shops and incoprorate shopping into a social event. • To save even more time have your supermarket take your shopping order either by telephone, fax or email or hand delivered and then have them deliver this to your home. You don’t even have to take your children into

the supermarket. • Outings can be to the local playgrounds, parks, ovals and libraries. • Have a smaller radius of shops, etc around where you live that you frequent, you may even find you get in and out of the car less and less. • For the ultimate experience of a do nothing day have a pajama day. Spend all day doing less of everything in your pajamas. • Act as if you live in the country and that life around you is like living in a country village, no matter where you live. For more information and to receive your free report “How To Get Your Child To Go To Bed Easily and Quickly And Toilet Trained In Just One Day” visit Margaret Saunder’s Website at www.BedtimeAndToiletTrainingSolutions.com.au.

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“Guilt can be quite harming to you and those around you...”

Overcoming Parental Guilt Guilt is a natural emotion

that is triggered when we feel, perceive or know we have done something wrong, or could have done better. It is also a natural part of parenting. Guilt can be useful, as well as quite harming, to you and those around you. First, let’s look at common areas guilt may raise itself: • •

I don’t spend enough time with my child/ ren. I lose my temper; get angry and/or

• • •

frustrated too often. I can’t give my child/ren all I want to or all they want (physically, emotionally and materialistically). I worry I will or am doing the wrong thing. I am to blame that my child isn’t happy or satisfied, or for their performance.

When we feel guilt, it can wear down our self worth and esteem. As this happens we may make decisions based on not feeling adequate and that we are, or possibly will be, failing. We open ourselves to criticism from self and others and begin to doubt our own judgement. We lose contact with the present situation and take a generalised view of the circumstances, creating decisions and outcomes that are not appropriate and definitely not effective.

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To overcome these states of guilt driven behaviours and possible outcomes firstly requires us to step back, take a deep breath and ask ourselves: • • • •

Does this feel right for me and my child? Am I doing the best I can? How can I improve? Where can I find out more about this particular situation that I am dealing with today?

By asking these questions you are immediately placed in a more resourceful state so that you can either consult with someone you trust, ask more questions objectively from your child, learn from your experience and change areas you would like to change, and most importantly be solution focused rather than problem focused. It has been said that “when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change”.

Now it is time to look at possible insights into the common areas of guilt: • Time with children is all about being present, getting on their level physically and understanding where they are at. Laughing and having fun and providing a safe, secure and nurturing environment is paramount to their needs in all areas of development. Time is not a factor in these activities, focus and presence during the time you have is. • You could be losing your temper or getting angry for a couple of main reasons. One, that your child does not follow through with expected behaviour; have you made the expectations clear age appropriately? Two, under all anger is an element of fear. If you find yourself angry or expressing anger more often than you would like; what is it that you are most afraid of? • What is it that you feel is missing that you want to give your child? Are you giving

them already what you feel is reasonable? What is important to you that you feel your child could have? Could it just be a case of giving more of you, or making more time for play and outings? Buying your child or buying time out for you may not in the end get you the results you were looking for. • Worry is being concerned with things that have not yet happened to you. A startling statistic suggested that 95% of what we worry about never comes about. You may also have taken on others opinions and their outcomes as red flags for you. You are an individual that is able to create the outcome you want. All you need is some effort and a clear idea of what you are expecting. Then gather your resources, feel confident and go for it. • No one is to blame for the past. The past is opportunities to take what has happened, and learn what works and what doesn’t. There are points in all our lives where we ‘could’ve, would’ve and should’ve’. Is this helpful to run that dialogue? I personally don’t think so. What I think is helpful is to know that you do the best with the knowledge you have at the time and with each setback and each win we become bigger, better, brighter and stronger. Asking yourself what is it that I can do differently to get different results, is much more helpful. So I now suggest to you, that guilt is healthy in short bursts to gauge our progress and behaviours. How can you put the information above into action so that you are moving forward and not being pulled back or stuck in the past? ©Author Profile: Kirsty O’Callaghan is the Founder, Owner and Principal Coach at UnityQld. Kirsty specialises in helpful programmes and toolboxes for Parents. The techniques and strategies Kirsty uses focus on a holistic and individual basis; knowing we are all capable of change, with the right knowledge, tools and support. W: www.unity-qld.com.au. P +61 7 3482 4295 M 0402 889 648

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Powerful Parenting A completely different approach to Parenting and Behaviour Management Hello. My name is Davina Sharry and I am the Founder of Powerful Parenting Australia. Today’s article will be food for thought. I’d like to pose this question: As aduls what is our typical response when we’re trying to cope with behaviour? Answer: Our typical respons is to thump down harder on children; to punish more, hit harder, yell louder, count to three faster, reward bigger, or get out more time-out chairs. We’re going to call these “reactive” forms of behaviour management, and I beleive they DO NOT work with the behaviours we are seeing today. Today’s children see rewards as their right and punishments as a mere inconvenience. I can’t be more forthright than this: ‘Reactive Behaviour Management’ is highly ineffective and failure prone! And here’s why. Reactive Behaviour Management is based on the premise that behaviour is a series of punishable offences, and that children will modify their behaviour when an adult reacts. If only it was that easy. Rather than change their behaviour, many children simply ‘serve their time’ and return to their old patterns of behaviour. Added to this, ‘behaviour’ that is not replaced by new behaviour is practised over and over, becoming even more entrenched. If reacting to behaviour was so effective, why is anti-social behaviour at such unprecendented levels? And why are younger and younger children experiencing more and more serious behaviour problems? Sadly 60000 expulsions or suspensions occurred in Queensland schools

alone during the 2009 school year. This is why parents cannot wait for school to fix behavioural issues. In my experience, Reactive Behaviour Management is failing left, right and centre and will continue to fail. I’d like to outline why: As adults, we are underestimating the complexities of ‘behaviour’. Behaviour is not one single thought or action. It is a complicated combination of learned responses, emotional development, communication and social competencies. It is greatly influenced by other children and the environment in which they live and learn. Unfortunately, the social environment today is one in which being antiauthority, defiant or even aggressive is not only acceptable, but admirable. It doesn’t matter how much we scream, yell, hit, punish or give time-outs. If we are not helping children to develop the social emotional skills they need there will be very little genuinge change in behaviour! Put simply: Today’s children need something more from us. What they need is skilled behaviour management. Ok. What is the opposite to reacting to behaviour problems? That’s easy. Children need to LEARN the behaviour skills they lack; To learn they must be taught. It is our responsibility as parents and educators to teach children the skills they just don’t have today. It’s easy, and it works! - With children of all ages!! We teach children in every area of their life but as soon as it comes to the complicated area of behaviour, we will yell and scream and give punishments

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“I have worked with many children and I can tell you by breaking individual behaviour skills down into teachable parts, and making use of some very powerful, highly successful communication techniques and strategies, within weeks I have seen a complete turn around - all through EXPLICIT teaching.”

to get children to cooperate and comply, but think about how different our approach is to both areas of learning! I have worked with many children and I can tell you by breaking individual behaviour skills down into teachable parts, and making use of some very powerful, highly successful communication techniques and strategies, within weeks I have seen a complete turn around - all through EXPLICIT teaching. Until we get away from this belief that to fix behaviour we need to ‘do something’ to the child we will continue to struggle, and I believe behaviour will get more challenging. In today’s social climate, our children need more than simplistic rewards and punishments. Put simply: Behaviour has changed, and the way we respond to it must also change. My last thought: Hitting children will not work because we are not TEACHING children the behaviour skills we need them to have. Thanks for taking the time to read this article.

Davina Sharry B Teach. Grad. Dip. ECE 7 3399 9996 M 042 385 2211 davina@powerfulparenting.com.au Facebook.com/powerfulparenting.com.au Powerfulparenting.com.au

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The story of my business is really the story of my family. As a teenager, I saw both my grandmother and aunt undergo major surgeries for melanoma removal, followed by reconstructive plastic surgery and skin grafts to repair their surgical wounds. At that point I realised that my genetics meant that I was going to have to take sun safety more seriously: I stopped chasing a tan (which was never going to happen with fair, freckled skin anyway!), and started to protect myself from the sun more, with hats and clothing. I knew that, like many Australian children of the 70’s and 80’s, I had already suffered many major sunburns, having grown up in an outdoorsy family living on the coast near the NSW/ QLD border. Back then sun safety was not so much on everyone’s radar as it is now. We would go to the beach or ride our bikes for hours, swim in rivers all day or walk through the sugar cane fields with our friends, without so much as a hat on. But once my family was rocked by those two major scares, everything changed. We thought about how long we spent in the sun. We started to apply sunscreen more routinely. The rise in public awareness of the issue of skin cancer and Australia’s depleted ozone layer occurred at around the same time. People began to realise that the Australian climate, which can be such a blessing, is also a major health risk for those with fair and medium skin tones. After becoming a mother to two girls in my late twenties, I was highly motivated to protect them from the early sun damage which is such a major factor in the risk of future skin cancer. I didn’t want them to go through what my aunt and grandmother did, so I always bought longsleeved swimwear. I love a cute bikini as much as the next Mum does, but if we were going outdoors then I felt that the only responsible choice was to cover up as much of their skin as possible. But after my girls grew out of baby sizes, I noticed a huge decline in the availability of long-sleeved swimwear. I often had to

purchase items from overseas, or spend a lot more than I wanted to, to obtain high quality sun protection. I kept saying to anyone who would listen that I didn’t see why it had to be this way, that surely someone could produce high quality, long-sleeved swimwear at more realistic prices. Eventually, I decided that maybe “that someone” would be me. I began researching my idea in January 2010 and soon realised that it was possible to combine all of the most desirable elements into one set of swimwear: style, quality, sun protection, comfort and affordability. The result is Saltwind, my company which specialises in UPF50+, chlorine resistant, longsleeved swimwear for children. My first collection, Spring 2010, was designed to meet the needs of modern Australian families who are sunsmart, style-conscious and price sensitive. I love the feedback I get about kids who love their swimwear so much that they sleep in it. It makes me so happy to know that this small idea I had, which grew out of a real need, is also beneficial to other families who want to protect their children too. Saltwind swimwear is sold as a matching rashtop and swimshorts set for $29.95/set (RRP). It is available for purchase online from http://www.saltwind.com.au

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Relaxation Is THE Key To Learning

The biggest hurdle to learning isn’t what many people believe it is.

It isn’t ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia, Auditory Processing Disorder, Autism, etc. Whilst these conditions definitely impact upon learning, the biggest hurdle to learning is stress. Many studies have found that when we are stressed, we enter what is known as “fight or flight mode” or “survival mode”. When we are in survival mode we lose the ability to reason and to absorb information, hence its impact upon learning. How do we recognise when we are stressed? For many people, we don’t even realise the tension we carry in our bodies. We don’t notice the stiffness in our neck and shoulder muscles, or the twisting and rotation of our hips and we certainly don’t expect children to carry similar amounts of stress. Stress has become such a pervasive force in our society we have forgotten what true relaxation feels like. For many people, relaxation isn’t something they are familiar with. Relaxation isn’t sitting staring at a T.V. screen or playing computer games. These items actually increase our stress levels, not reduce them. The flickering of the screens and the messages involved in most T.V. shows and computer games cause an increase in our bodies production of adrenalin – the classic fight

or flight neurotransmitter. So even when our mind has “switched off” our bodies are producing the response we expect when in a dangerous situation. For most of us, this over-exposure to survival mode has caused us to become shallow breathers. We inhibit the intake of oxygen, which in turn inhibits brain function. To help our children learn, we need to re-educate them in the lost art of breathing. Watch any baby and you will see that they naturally breathe deeply. This is our natural breathing rhythm. By slowing down our breathing rate and breathing deeply into our bellies we trigger the release of endorphins those necessary neurotransmitters which promote and allow learning and memory function. When I have a student in my tutoring centres who is experiencing the classic stress spiral [agitated movement, rapid breathing, uncontrollable thoughts, rushed speaking, freezing when asked to recall etc] I have found that the simplest method for helping them, is to encourage them to lie on the floor in whatever position feels comfortable for them. I then ask them to close their eyes briefly and to focus on their breath. I ask them to notice it entering their mouths [a classic sign of stress], and going down into their lungs. Next I ask them to open their eyes and tell me where their breath went – how far down into their bodies did it go? We then go through the exercise again, except this time I ask them to breathe in as I slowly count to 8. I encourage them to push the air all the way down into their bellies and to make their belly button rise up as high as possible. Then I slowly count to 8 as they breathe out. We do this 3 times. That’s all it takes. 3 slow, deep breathes. We then return to the exercise we were doing and my student finds that they can remember how to spell the words, or they can think of a sentence or that suddenly they have an idea for a story. As we continue our lesson I remind them to breathe deeply and slowly, teaching them that relaxation is a state of mind that they can achieve for themselves, regardless of what they are doing.

Visit www.ReachYourPotentialTutor.com

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Is Your Child Struggling At School? - Does your child have ADD/ADHD/Dyslexia? - Do they have problems reading? - Are they falling behind at school & struggling with ther homewoork? - Do they just want to be “like the other kids”?

Do YOU want this for YOUR child?

- Improved confidence and ability with reading - Improved attention span and interest - Improved attitude towards learning and school - Less frustration and stress at home - The ability to succeed in the classroom and be “Like the other kids” - An understanding of their learning style and what it means for their future

Author Profile: Diana Vogel is the founder of “Reach Your Potential Tutoring Centres” A growing chain of specialist touring centres focussing on helping children who are struggling at school who have dyslexia, ADD, ADHA, auditory processing disorder etc. To know more, please visit www.ReachYourPotentialTutor.com

If you answered YES to any of these questions above, then CALL DIANA on 0417 792 879 NOW to secure your child’s place at one of our tutoring centres!

We are also looking for more people to become tutors. No prior experience necessary. Just a strong willingness to help these smart and special kids.

Healthy Snacks

10 Quick Snack Options

By Melissa Groom

1. Vegetable sticks and hommus or cream cheese 2. Rice cakes with peanut butter

You are your child’s most important and most influential role model. One of the best things we can teach our children is to eat healthy. Our kids are bombarded daily with messages from the fast food chains. It can be alot easier to grab a ready made processed snack.

3. Fresh fruit and yoghurt

If you educate your children and give them options for healthy snacks and eat healthy snacks yourself they are more likely to avoid having weight issues throughout their life.

7. Boiled egg on toast

4. Home popped popcorn 5. Baked beans on toast 6. Fruit smoothie

8. Dried fruit 9. Melted cheese and ham on toast 10. Homemade biscuits or muffins

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In 2004, after giving birth to my daughter Lili – I had a defining moment when I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognise the woman staring back at me. I was giving everything I had to my daughter but in the process I was making myself miserable. I felt fat, frumpy and ‘used up’ - like my best life was behind me and I couldn’t think of anything to say other than how tired I was. To put it bluntly – I was ‘sick and tired of feeling sick and tired’.

The You Sexy Mother Story... Bringing Sexy Back!

In 2008, the book I wrote about this experience, ‘You Sexy Mother – a life changing approach to motherhood’ was picked up by Channel 9’s, A Current Affair. They had seen a small article in my local paper and called me to find out more. The book wasn’t even in stores yet but the show went to air that night and I explained in a brutally honest way what I did to turn my life around. The result was astounding – within 24 hours, 1600 emails poured in to my inbox from mothers all over the country saying they wanted to feel good – god forbid, ‘sexy’ too... And this was the beginning of the You Sexy Mother phenomena. The book went on to become a Best Seller and was followed in 2010 by ‘You Sexy Mother The Journal’. In 2009, I co-founded what was to become one of the largest motherhood research studies ever conducted internationally – The International Motherhood Study, alongside renowned psychologist Dr Angela Huntsman (UCLA) and the University of the Sunshine Coast. Over 5000 women responded to over 131 questions about every aspect of their lives, in a comprehensive study about what it means to be a mother in the 21st Century. The results of the study (Australia/NZ/USA/UK) guide the development of future books and initiatives. The preliminary findings have already been presented at ANU in Canberra and at a leading international motherhood conference in New York. ‘You Sexy Mother: The Journal’, showed mothers how to get in touch with their authentic

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selves but journaling and writing about their dreams and visions for the future in a very authentic way. It also presented the perfect opportunity for mums to connect in groups and work through the book and the Ten-Step Turnaround Plan (as featured in the book) to make rapid, positive change in their lives. The not-for-profit organisation ‘You Sexy Mother in the Community’ was formed in 2010 by a group of dedicated mums all wanting to take the philosophy out to a broader audience. I came on board as Patron of the group and we developed a Facebook site and a soon to be released e-book that can be accessed for free by mums who want to create a ‘You Sexy Mother – style mother’s group’ in their local community. YSM in the Community holds online monthly events that are inspirational, fun and able to be enjoyed by mums from wherever they live. Mums can post photos, video, comments and blogs about their event and can view content from our committee event which is held on the Sunshine Coast each month. Examples of events include; Pay it Forward day, where we got mums to share words of wisdom with other new mums at a special luncheon where I was a guest speaker. ‘MAD May – Mothers’ Adventure Day’ - where we went paddleboating with our kids. Upcoming events include a ‘clothes-swap’ night and a ‘Sparkle – pamper party’. We also provide daily support and inspiration to mums via our Facebook site. In late 2010, my third book, the YSM Body Bible was launched. It was inspired by the body image statistics that came out of the International Motherhood Study, which report that only 12% of mums feel satisfied with their bodies and just 12% of mums feel happy about the way they look. The YSM Body Bible is a complete guide to looking and feeling great as a mum, and includes my personal journey from frumpy to feeling fab! The latest exciting news here at You Sexy Mother is that the philosophy has been embraced by the women of Europe – You Sexy Mother has been published in Hungary and is being represented by one of the most famous celebrity mums in the country, who has become the ‘face’ of the brand. I will be spending a week

in Budapest in August to promote the books alongside my Hungarian representative. It is fascinating to think that an Australasian mum can offer inspiration to the women of Europe about how to look and feel sexy as a mum. We all know that European women are some of the most beautiful and feminine in the world – it will be interesting to see what we can learn from each other through this literary exchange! My passion has always been about living authentically and living your passion as a woman. I truly believe that motherhood can act as the catalyst for creating your best life – by forcing you to stop procrastinating and start living the life you always hoped for. What started out as a tiny flicker of an idea, as a desperate and somewhat depressed mum, has turned into an unstoppable desire to change the face of motherhood – one mother at a time! Thank you for sharing my journey. For further information on any You Sexy Mother book or You Sexy Mother in the Community (not-for-profit), please contact me on jodie@yousexymother.com.au or visit www.yousexymother.com.au or http://www.facebook.com/yousexymother. community “Your experience of motherhood can and should be magical but it starts with respecting yourself first as an individual. If you are struggling to remember who you were prior to motherhood, and feel like the real you somehow got ‘lost’ in the whole experience, you are not alone. Take the time necessary to reconnect with yourself and discover the amazing woman you have become. With just a little work, you will be rewarded with an even deeper sense of self-respect, confidence and joy than ever before.” (extract, You Sexy Mother) To purchase a You Sexy Mother book or book set for you or a friend, visit www.yousexymother. com.au today! Special online price for all 3 books - just $79.99! (save $10 on RRP)

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My Experiences With Post Natal Depression I have had 3 episodes of post natal depression. My children are now aged 18, 12 and 3.

PND has had a huge impact on my life and I know this is the case for countless other women. I share some of my experiences, thoughts and feelings here in order to hopefully de-stigmatise PND if only a little but mainly to offer support to women currently experiencing the illness.

Each of my experiences has been somewhat different. When my first child was born I was 23 years of age and had no knowledge of PND. I rememer feeling totally and utterly overwhelmed with this new responsibility and I felt i was extremely anxious, couldn’t eat, couldn’t cook or clean, couldn’t even shower. I dreaded waking in the morning and still recall the horrendous feeling as I woke each day. I wanted to be somwhere else - anywhere else. I felt like an empty shell. I became suicidal. Once I was diagnosed with PND, when my baby was 6 weeks old, I was referred to a social worker attached to the local baby health centre. She was to become my life-line. Finally, someone seemed to know what I was feeling. It’s now over 18 years later and I can still remember our first meeting - me sitting in her office crying continually with her asking me questions like: do you feel overwhelmed? I couldn’t even speak - I woudl just nod my head and keep on crying. But inside I was thinking - ‘finally someone understands!’ Although I was prescribed anti-depressant medication I chose not to folllow that treatment path. This was much to the ire of my doctor who threatened to take my baby away and have me committed to a psychiatric hospital if I refused to take the medication. I therefore pretended I was taking the medication. I attended weekly one-to-one counselling with the social worker and attended a support group she facilitated once a week. Very, very slowly my condition improved and when, one year later, there was insufficient funding for the support group to continue luckily I felt I was well on the road to recovery. My second son is now 12 years of age.

When he was 10 days old I started to feel the now-familiar symptoms of depression. I saw my (new) doctor who prescribed anti-depressants. This time I was more open to the idea of medication. This episode of PND was undoubtedly the least severe in terms of symptoms and duration. I felt myself recovering from about the time my baby was 6 months of age. Three years ago I had my third and last child. I commenced anti-depressant medication on the day of his birth. Again, when my baby was 10 days old I rapidly became unwell. This time was somewhat different though in that I suffered from extreme anxiety and panic attacks in addition to the depression feelings. I would wake in the night already in a fully blown panic attack. I was grateful that my mother could come and stay with me during the next couple of weeks. My doctor attended my home and prescribed short-term medication to help with the severe anxiety until the anti-depressant medication took effect. A baby/child psycologist also came to my home on a number of occasions and provided much needed counselling and support. At this stage I was living in a rural area and as such unfortunately didn’t have access to a support group. I would have jumped at the chance to attend one though as overall I found that connecting with people in a similar situation was one of the best means of coping with PND. I could reflect endlessly on my experiences but basically what I’d like to offer is the advice I would have loved to have given: • Accept PND as the illness it is and don’t view it as a weakness. • Seek help. • Accept help. • Be kind to yourself. Michelle Anderson from Pamperboxes.com.au

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What is “Organic” Anyway?

Simply put, organic foods are as nature intended them to be. They contain no chemicals, fertilizers, irradiation, artificial sweeteners or preservatives. Organic produce is the result of farming the way it was before factory farms came into the picture. And given the increasing demand for organic products, the organic farm is also the farm of the future. So, how does the organic food chain work? Well, it starts with the farmer…

Organic Farms

Organic farmers reject chemical fertilizers, pesticides, herbicides, hormones, genetically modified organisms (GMO’s) and antibiotics. They understand how harmful these can be, not only to the environment but also to the people who eat the end product. Every Ozganics ingredient comes from Certified Organic farms that have been carefully audited to ensure they comply with strict organic standards. In Australia, any farmer wanting to be recognised as “organic” must pass rigorous and regular inspections. Strict standards have been set up by the Australian Government and Australian Quarantine Services (AQIS) to ensure quality and compliance.

Organic Factories

At our organic factory, Certified Organic produce is blended harmoniously without the need for artificial colourings or flavours. We tinker with recipes just like you might in your own kitchen, and when we come across a truly tasty delight, we add it to the Ozganics range. Ozganics’ Certification Number from the AQIS is 10352P. It’s your guarantee that our products not only taste great but also comply with Certified Organic standards. Cooking with Ozganics products is easy. You

can still use all of your favourite recipes. They’ll just taste even better than before!

Why is Organic Important?

Organic foods are still alive, especially compared to limp, supermarket vegetables. Pesticides and herbicides have been linked with cancers and can also mimic hormones, causing problems with your body’s hormonal balance. That can wreak havoc on all sorts of bodily functions. You only want your body dealing with pure substances, so eating organic is a must.

Growing Your Own

You can also grow your own pesticide-free and herbicide-free vegetables and harvest them as needed. If you have the ability to start an organic garden in your back yard, do it! You can even grow herbs that can become your own “pick me up” dispensary, as many herbs can be picked and chewed for instant results. Of course, this isn’t possible for everyone, so the next best thing is to know the farmer so that you can be assured that what you buy is truly organic. The bottom line is to find a way to eat organic whenever possible. Your body will thank you, and you will enjoy greater health throughout your life. Kids love organic too. Last year I took mine to an open farm day. Since then they eat more vegetables (not as many as I would love, but a start) and they have a connection with the farmer. Sam Beau Patrick is dedicated to assisting individuals, groups and companies to be the healthiest and happies they can be. She specialises in hormone management (stress, sleep and female hormones in particular) and tries to achieve your health and happiness goals through natural and safe methods. For more info visit www.healthqueen. com.au

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We all know we need to exercise our pelvic floor but are you doing it properly? We all know we need to exercise our pelvic floor but are you doing it properly?It can be as easy as 1,2,3! To begin with, find a moment where you can lie down to concentrate on the sensation and practice your technique. Experiment with lying on your back, on your side, or lying on your back with your hips lifted to the ceiling. Relax your tummy, your buttocks and remember to breathe! Start by drawing closed the back passage (like stopping a fart) Lift the pelvic floor up and to the front and allow it to fully relax again! Your pelvic floor muscles are like any muscles in your body—they respond to a variety to training. Practice short, snappy holds—these are useful for sudden sneezes, coughs or fits of laughter For longer pelvic floor holds, aim for 8 to 10 seconds. Always be aware of when you start

clenching your buttocks, sucking in your tummy or holding your breath. If you find yourself doing any of these things, relax and start again. Remember no one ever joined a new gym class and was able to perform all the moves perfectly first time. The pelvic floor responds quickly to exercise and you may start to see an improvement in just a few short weeks! This is not the time to slack off, but time to change your training! Try to incorporate your pelvic floor training more into your every day life, before you lift the washing or when you are walking. If you have any heaviness, still continue to leak urine or if you just don’t know if you are doing it properly—don’t hold off. Visit a physiotherapist who specialises in women’s health. This is an excellent investment in your health and money better spent than a lifetime of incontinence pads!

Special Offer from Mishfit Personal Training! 1 x visit to the physiotherapist using Real Time Ultrasound to see your pelvic floor contract on screen 1 x personal training session that will reinforce the information learned from the physio with an exercise routine that includes your pelvic floor! Valued at $175

For Toddler to Teens viewers $150 This offer is only available to viewers in Melbourne • Cash back rebate available for health insurance • not to be used in conjunction with any other offer • valid for 6 months after purchase

Call 1300 mishfit to take up this offer now!

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Organizing Your Thought Patterns Simple yes, but that doesn’t necessarily mean easy!!

When it comes to the brain - it really is a magnificent beast. Capable of so much more than we can ever imagine and yet even still something most of us still find very hard to control. For years I have searched for the answer to what felt like a very active imagination - spending way too much time and energy on thinking about the past and projecting this into the future. It was a relief to finally learn and accept what others in the ‘know’ have said all along. Learning to concentrate on the present by focusing on the breath and what your body is doing and the rest will take care of itself. This encompasses all areas of your life including the dayto-day rourtines we need to stay in control of our lives. It’s all inter-related after all. Here are some tips on how you can do this too.

Too simple?:

I resisted the simplicity of this concept for way too long, hoping that there was another way to relax and decrease stress levels. Surely there must be more to it. I would say to myself, “It’s just too hard... boring” and whatever other excuse I could think of. It was one of those aha moments when I did a course with a Mindfulness Expert and we got to the practical demonstration and it was the same as I had done before in yoga meditation etc, that I kicked myself for thinking there was some secret to the whole business. Luckily I had the humour to laugh at myself instead.

Experts say:

Experts report that for those who have had depression in the past will be 70% less likely to have a relapse if they have done a Mindfulness Program. What huge and encouraging statistics! If a drug had

these kinds of results it would be front page news! Nevertheless it is something we should take note of and also be encouraged by the fact that we have a lot more control over the state of our minds than previously thought.

Meditation/Mindfulness is only for Hippies, isn’t it?:

Like many of you, I didn’t really think Meditation or the like was ‘for me’. I thought I needed something different. I think this is partly due to the connotation of the hippy image of people meditating and seemingly so far removed from our life. I’m glad I no longer have that archaic view!! It’s for everyone - Especially those who don’t take an active role in taking notice of their environment as the typical ‘hippie’ knows is the healthy thing to do.

Mindfulness Practice:

Taking time out to breathe deeply and concentrate on your body so as to therefore not be thinking about other mindless things is good for you in so many ways. All you need to do is find a comfy spot - not too comfy or you’ll fall asleep! Being guided by a CD is a good idea - especially for beginners. Take the phone off the hook, grab a blanket and settle in a relaxed position.

Create pathways in the brain:

Converse to past beliefs we are able to create new pathways in the brain - i.e. new cells. This is great news to anyone with depression or the like because it means that although it may seem like your negative thought patterns are ingrained and that you can’t do anything about them, you can. It takes practice and motivation to want to do this but the good thing is, it is possible!

The Secret:

The trick to it is to not admonish yourself when you find your mind wandering off and doing its thing

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of thinking about what’s for dinner; the conversation you need to have with someone or what you’re going to wear tomorrow. Even those with decades of experience have this issue. If you get cross with yourself this will only serve to ingrain the old patterns more, so you internally notice; and perhaps have a laugh at yourself and get back to the task, making these new thoughts and present thinking ‘take over’ as the norm.

Learn from my mistake:

We humans really do make things way more

complicated for ourselves than we need to. So I hope that if you are in the head space that I was previously in and don’t think this isn’t for you for ‘whatever’ reason, then please learn from my fruitless attempts to find an easier solution. It was staring me in the face the whole time and so simple...but not necessarily ‘easy!’

Written by Claire McFee, Founder of Organize Your Life www.organizeyourlife.com.au

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