Togatus Edition #2 2017 by Togatus

SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS

#NeverOK SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS NEVER OK. EVERYONE HAS THE THE RIGHT TO LIVE AND STUDY IN A SAFE AND SUPPORTIVE ENVIRONMENT.

MOST HARASSMENT IS UNREPORTED. SOME PEOPLE FEEL EMBARRASSED, OR THINK THAT THEY WON’T BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. WE BELIEVE THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO PUT UP WITH SEXUAL HARASSMENT. YOU SHOULD NEVER BE MADE TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE BY ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL. IN AN EMERGENCY CALL 000, IF YOU ARE ON CAMPUS CONTACT SECURITY ON 6226 7600 (HOBART), 6324 3336 (LAUNCESTON), OR 6324 3336 (CRADLE COAST). SEEK SUPPORT FROM UNIVERSITY STUDENT COUNSELLORS IN THE STUDENT CENTRE OR CALL 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). 2

NEVEROK.ORG

Published by State Council on Behalf of the Tasmania University Union (henceforth â&#x20AC;&#x153;the publishersâ&#x20AC;?) The opinions expressed herein are not those of the Togatus staff or the publishers. The copyright in each piece of work remains with the contributor. However, the publishers reserve the right to reproduce material on the Togatus website (togatus.com.au). Togatus staff: Editor-in-Chief: April Cuison Print Editor: Maddie Burrows Digital Editor: April McLennan Assistant Editors: Bethany Green, Ella Carrington Administration Officer: Stephanie Morrison Marketing & Distribution Officer: Zoey Dwyer Copy editors: Joe Brady, Nathan Hennessy Togatus contributors: Amina McCauley, Andrew Grey, Callum J Jones, Cameron Phillips, Claire-Louise McCann, Clark Cooley, Courtney Slater, Dominic Davies, Elise Sweeney, Emma Skalicky, Emi Doi, Erin Cooper, Dan Prichard, Dan Probert, James Kitto, Jamie Sands, Joel Calliss, Joey Crawford, Kasey Wilkins, Liam Salter, Logan Linkston, Mackenzie Stolp, Michelle Moran, Monte Bovill, Nikita McGuire, Nikita Riseley, Sandon Lowe, Zoe Stott Togatus welcomes all your contributions. Please email your work and ideas to contributions@togatus.com.au It is understood that any contributions sent to Togatus may be used for publication in either the magazine or the website, and that the final decision on whether to publish resides with the editors. The editors reserve the right to make changes to submitted material as required. Contact Togatus: Twitter & Instagram: @togatus_ Facebook: facebook.com/TogatusOnline Website: www.togatus.com.au Post: PO Box 5055, UTas LPO, Sandy Bay 7005 Email: contact@togatus.com.au Advertising: marketing@togatus.com.au

Togatus is printed by Monotone Art Printers.

02 06 Witch, please. Pomegranate Myths of Love Beyond the Canvas VOX POP Tasmania, a State Divided Baptised in Blood “I want to believe” In the Shadow of the Clock Tower Gallery The Devil’s in the Details

Let’s talk about sex, baby!

Editorial

4 04 Gen WHY

You are here

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If mythical creatures had eHarmony… Dr Neezy’s Love Column Misconceptions about Myths and Fandom Gallery Ukraine 101 Why Poverty Matters “Would you like some whale with that?” Gallery When the Migraine Attacks Coffee Media Misconceptions about Serial Killers Living with Dyspraxia Council Report

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Wives’ Tales Explained

Togatus Contributors As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Andrew Grey

Dominic Davies

A serial killer.

Everything, so there is nothing I cannot do.

Callum J Jones

Elise Sweeney

A writer.

A firefighter.

Claire-Louise McCann

Emi Doi

An explorer or an astronaut.

Hilary Duff.

Daisy Baker

Emma Skalicky.

A hairdresser.

I wanted to grow up to be a fairy (still do, not gonna lie).

Dan Prichard

Joey Crawford

Honestly just happy.

An architect, til I learnt I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t draw.

Logan Linkston

Digital Contributors

A mermaid, because my dad told me I could be.

Cameron Phillips Clark Cooley Erin Cooper Jamie Sands James Kitto Joel Calliss Kasey Wilkins Liam Salter Mackenzie Stolp Michelle Moran Nikita Riseley Zoe Stott

Monte Bovill The Prime Minister.

Tog Team As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Administrative Officer: Steph Morrison A princess.

Editor-in-Chief: April Cuison

Marketing & Distribution Officer: Zoey Dwyer

A smaller disappointment.

A fairy.

Print Editor: Maddie Burrows

Copy Editor: Joe Brady

A shop window china doll.

A copy editor for Togatus.

Digital Editor: April McLennan

Copy Editor: Nathan Hennessy

An astronaut.

A bigger disappointment.

Editorial Assistant: Beth Green

Designer: Jonty Dalton

A marine biologist.

A â&#x20AC;&#x153;famosâ&#x20AC;? film director.

Editorial Assistant: Ella Carrington

Designer: Luke Visentin

A spy.

A magician.

From the Editor April Cuison

It’s that time of the year! Everyone is internally (or externally) screaming during the examination period. Campus libraries will be populated at two in the morning. The late nights will be powered by coffee or RedBull. And I’m sure someone, somewhere, is finding ways to procrastinate. Fortunately, or unfortunately, we have a procrastination bible! Welcome to the second edition of Togatus. The overarching theme for this edition is ‘myths and misconceptions’. Our wonderful contributors – bless their souls – have provided you with some fantastic and diverse content based on their own interpretations on the theme. From misconceptions about the lazy AF millennials to dating profiles of mythical creatures on eHarmony, the second edition is filled with infotainment to help you trudge through your long study sessions. Heading feedback from the first edition has been incredibly heart-warming. It was important to us. The edition was our statement, our response to the feedback we’ve received earlier this year. We talked a lot of talk. Hype was built before the edition even made it to the printers. But until it hit the stands, we had no tangible evidence to show. A few weeks has passed since then, and we have heard great things and sound criticisms. To see students respond so positively to our content is an amazing feeling, and it motivates us to reach even greater lengths. Good luck with your exams, and I wish everyone a restful winter break. Until next time~ April

Gen WHY The manic millenial

Zoey Dwyer

It’s commonly said that Generation Y, or the “Manic Millennial”, as the self-righteous baby boomers love to name us, are lazy, addicted to social media, need instant gratification, have a shitty work ethic, and are demanding AF. Some assumptions as to Y are:

a casual job. This requires us to study day and night, plus fit in work to pay for our super entitled lifestyles and social media addictions, while simultaneously trying to socialise, keep healthy, and keep our grades up *drowns*. Not so easy, huh?

• We received too many participation certificates, and as a result didn’t learn merit - instead we expect to be thanked for just, like, existing n’ stuff

Furthermore, according to Department of Education and Training Statistics, the data states that for every 80 males there are 100 females enrolled at University. This suggests that not only are Gen Y and the Millennials more proactive about education, they’re also breaking down the glass ceiling for women. We’re vastly more accepting of people’s differences because we’ve grown up in an era of diversity. We’re smashing down gender roles and stereotypes, and tackling racism, discrimination and classism. We’re informed, confident, and stubborn AF; and we won’t STFU until someone listens.

• We’re constantly told we’re special *bats eyelashes* and as a result we think we deserve to be rewarded for just like, waking up • We’ve grown up with role models like Paris Hilton (Paris for President 2020) and Kim Kardashian (I also idolise Kimmy, she’s an amazing woman), who are famous for sex tapes, partying, and being attractive As a result of all of these things, we’re now branded as “entitled, narcissistic, unfocused, and lazy”, at least according to Simon Sinek in his Inside Inquest talk on Millennials in the Workplace. Despite this brand (that I will humbly embrace because it empowers me) actual statistics show an increase of younger generations going on to pursue higher education. The Department of Education and Training Statistics said that in 2011, 36.6% of 20 year olds attend University, up from 32.6% in 2006. In 2011, the percentage of population achieving Bachelor’s Degrees was nine times higher than in 1971, and for many of us, we do this while having

We’re educating ourselves to help the world be a better place. Whether it be saving the environment, fighting for Human Rights, women’s autonomy, or the acceptance of same-sex marriage, we’re proactive. We’re called unfocused and unengaged, but we’re the absolute opposite. We’re constantly engaged to the point of no escape. We’re relentlessly fed news updates online from the palm of our hands, all of which are from a variety of sources, requiring us to read different views before forming opinions. We’re continually informed on world issues, and we can literally access any information. We’re growing up in the era of oversharing which forces us to think for ourselves. But nah, call us lazy again, pls.

Feature

Let’s talk about sex, baby! April McLennan

Health

Sex! The mysterious word that is all about the lovin’. Since Adam and Eve first started doing ‘it’ there have been some funky new moves, some banging, bonking, and fucking new words to describe it, as well as a ton of misconceptions around it. So, without further ado… let’s talk about sex, baby! Should you be abstaining from that sweet love-making before the big game tomorrow? HELL NO! This myth has been believed by athletes from all sports. It is rumoured that Muhammad Ali wouldn’t get down and dirty for six weeks before a fight. Based on his career, it is understandable why couples refrain from intercourse before sporting competitions. However, scientists believe that there is no evidence to suggest that bonking before an event is bad. It is even argued that it could benefit the male athlete by raising his testosterone levels. But do not fear if you are unable to get a bit jiggy with your missy and/or mister, some scientists also believe that sexual frustration can lead to a more aggressive sporting performance which is of course beneficial to some athletes.

chilly on the willy and/or cold on the hole, this caused the participants to complain about having cold feet, amongst other things. Surprisingly, out of the participants that were given socks, more of them were able to have orgasms over those with cold feet. So what the heck, why not get matching sex slippers! Women don’t watch porn. Lies, lies, lies. Did you know that in 2016 women made up 26 per cent of Pornhub’s visitors worldwide?! With the ladies most searched terms being lesbian, lesbian scissoring, threesome and big black dick. So why not spice it up a little and have a date night that involves a little bit of popcorn and a whole lot of porn. Will a boy’s testicles explode if he doesn’t have sex? No. But blue balls is in fact a real thing. This is when a male gets turned on but doesn’t ejaculate. Due to a buildup of blood in the testicles and/or prostate area, he may feel pain and tenderness down below. But will this kill him? No. Try a cold shower or a bit of self-lovin’.

Wearing socks while banging is a turn off.

Can you tell the size of a man’s penis by his shoe size?

This my friends, is false. So, keep your fluffy socks on while you engage in a bit of rumpy pumpy.

Well, you know what they say about big feet… big socks. And literally that’s all you will learn from a dude’s shoe size. That, and his taste in fashion.

A study was conducted in the Netherlands that scanned the brains of men and women while their partners attempted to bring them to an orgasm. But it was a tad

So keep on loving and don’t forget – if you think she’s spunky, cover your monkey!

Witch, please Emma Skalicky

Life hasn’t always been toil and trouble for witches; in fact, sometimes it’s been downright saucy. The way we conceive of witches today is as broad and varied as there are people who have been accused of being witches themselves. From the chanting crones of Macbeth, to the spritely students of The Worst Witch and Harry Potter, images of witches sailing through the night sky, legs akimbo over broomsticks with pointed hats and cat on hand continue to haunt our cultural consciousness. But, while this imagery is freely distributed across literary history, the modern witch’s forbearers had far more scandalous associations with their own broomsticks. In 1486, about 110 years before Shakespeare was active, a clergyman named Heinrich Kramer wrote a book about the prosecution of witches. This book was called the Malleus Maleficarum, and it was one of the major players in the increasing hysteria of the Witch Trials from the 16th to 18th centuries that resulted in the deaths of over fifty thousand people. Charmingly, Kramer writes in the Malleus Maleficarum that women “are defective in all the powers of both soul and body,” and that, “all (Witchcraft) comes from carnal lust, which is in women insatiable.” Women, as Kramer saw them, were disorderly, easily corruptible, and hysteric, and he feared most of all the perversion of goodness that a woman’s sexuality might bring about. Luckily (or unluckily) for Kramer, he wasn’t necessarily wrong about female sexuality being a factor in historical witchcraft – although he loses major points for believing that it was an ultimate sign of evil. Sexual desire hasn’t changed across time nearly so much as one might expect. There are plenty of recorded instances of women using the nearest phallic object in their house (i.e. their handy dandy broomsticks) as a proto-sexual aide, and

in many pagan festivals, poles, broomsticks, and staffs were used as phallic symbols to encourage a good harvest. Combine this with the notion that the broomstick was often a valuable and well-made heirloom, one that could be passed down between mothers and daughters, and the co-opting of this staple of domesticity into an object of sexual liberation would have conjured up terrible images of the feminine gone monstrous in Early Modern society. But our link between modern witches on broomsticks and their historical counterparts doesn’t stop there; even the flying itself has its roots in real practices. Since the 1970s, one of the predominant explanations for the mania of the Salem Witch trials has been ergot poisoning. Ill prepared rye in wetter climates is particularly vulnerable to this hallucinogenic fungus, and its symptoms fall almost exactly in line with accounts of demonic possession and bewitchment. Ergot has been recorded in the soil around areas where bog bodies have been found, in the bodies of Viking berserkers, and in the surrounding soil of villages such as Salem, where witchcraft hysteria poisoned the very bones of their society. As the progenitor of this theory, cultural biologist Linnda R. Caporael put it best: “Without knowledge of ergotism and confronted by convulsions, mental disturbances, and perceptual distortions, the New England Puritans seized upon witchcraft as the best explanation for the phenomena.”

Around the time that the both the sexual application of broomsticks and hallucinogenic experimentation in oint-

“Sexual desire hasn’t changed across time nearly so much as one might expect.”

Is it so hard then, to imagine that some disenfranchised women really did experiment with broomsticks and psychotropic ointments, maybe not in order to seek out the devil, but instead to find enjoyment and transcendental experiences in otherwise hopeless places. Looking back on these stories, it’s a hard pill to swallow knowing that these sorts of private choices about how you deal with your own body could result in some of the worst fates imaginable; social expulsion, torture, and even death. Of the first woman to be condemned for witchcraft in Ireland, Alice Kyteler, it was written, “in rifleing the closet of the ladie, they found a pipe of oyntment, wherewith she greased a staffe, upon which she ambled and galloped through thick and thin.” While in all likelihood Alice Kyteler wasn’t a witch at all I like to think she’d be pretty chuffed to know that whenever someone thinks of a witch on a broom, they owe it all to fun-loving women like her.

Feature

While having nothing to do with flying specifically, ergotism sets the tone for the idea that many supernatural experiences were tied directly to hallucinogens. Women in smaller communities around the 14th Century often took upon the role of folk healers, providing remedial ointments for their neighbors and friends. Many of these ointments were applied to the armpits, upper thighs, and genital region in order to have a more potent effect and to ensure that the medicine stayed in the system without being vomited up. Notably, among the most commonly recorded ingredients in so-called ‘witches’ ointments’ were substances such as deadly nightshade and henbane, which produced the “intoxicating sensation of flying” (as described firsthand by writer Gustav Schenk).

ments occurred, we also start to get reports of both practices being combined. In 1477, alleged witch Antoine Rose claimed that the devil (“whose name was Robinet”) gave her a staff with which she could apply magical ointments to her genitals in order to fly whenever she proclaimed, “go in the name of the devil, go!” Similarly, medieval writer Jordanes de Bergamo reported that, “on certain days or nights [witches] anoint a staff and ride on it to the appointed place or anoint themselves under the arms and in other hairy places.”

Pomegranate Andrew Grey

She welcomed me with a silver plate that held only one pomegranate seed. I knew that in this place, between life and death, there would be peace in the Asphodel Meadows. She didn’t speak, but she enticed me to take the seed, standing there, white silk fluttering in the breeze. I reached out, my hand hovering over the seed. I wanted to take it, yet the sharp jolts called me back to the mortal coil. The Ferryman waited on the bank of the Acheron, playing with his phone. He didn’t care if he had to take me back, it was all he did day in and day out, sailing down the river. She looked at me with wide eyes, almost begging me to take the seed. “Will I get my coin back if I return the living world?” I asked. “No,” she said, her voice softer than silk. “Oh, damn,” I sighed. The sound of a Tinder notification echoed around the rock. Charon looked up, blushing, mumbled something, and returned to his phone. She rolled her eyes, moved her blonde hair away from her pale face, and sighed like a song. Light evaporated from the surrounding torches, her brows frowned. The silver plate moved closer to me. “Will you take the seed?” she asked. “If I do, will I be stuck in the Asphodel Meadows?” “No, you will be free to move around as you please, at your own risk. But you will be happy there. It is a perfect representation of the mortal realm.” My hand reached out, fingers millimetres from the single pomegranate seed. A jolt rammed through my body. I touched the seed, and all light drained from the surroundings. There was a cold breeze. Her white dress turned black, her shoes slipped into stilettos, and her red lips went wide. “That’s it, eat it my darling,” she sung, her body slithering closer. The silver plate disappeared in black fire. I swallowed the seed. Charon left to get another soul as she wrapped her arm around me, guiding me to the meadow. In the distance, I saw a castle built from the

blackest marble surrounded by river of magma, connect by only a drawbridge. I can hear the title music to a television show coming from the topmost tower. “Is that House of Cards?” I asked as we walked around the molten river. “It’s Hades’ favourite show.” “Persephone, is that you?” came a loud rumbling around the castle. “Yes darling, I’m with a new soul,” Persephone shouted. Smoke rolled from the topmost window, and out crawled Hades. Like a spider, he scaled down the black marble. He crawled towards us, and as he got closer he uncurled. Looking at him, I suppressed a giggle. “What are you smirking at,” Hades asked me. “Nothing. I’m just wondering, are you a fan of Marilyn Manson?” “Yes, why?” Hades was pale, his skin almost translucent, visible veins black. His black hair was gelled, he wore black skinny jeans and a black V-neck, so you could see he worked out. I looked down to see if he was wearing a pair of Converse, and lo and behold, he was. “Why?” he asked again. But this time he had a coy smile. “No, no reason. I just like him too,” I replied. “Well, if he could just release Heaven Upside Down, it would be great.” “Right!?” I said. If I had a pulse, passion would have flowed through my veins. “So, darling,” he said, slithering to Persephone, wrapping his arm around her but his black eyes rested on me. “Where are you taking this one?” “The meadow,” she said, smiling. “Oh, I would have thought Tartarus. There’s no Wi-Fi, absolute torture for millennials,” Hades said. “We best be going. Is the final episode of Riverdale out yet?” Persephone asked, kissing Hades on the cheek. “Yes, watch it when you get back?” “Of course, my dear,” Hades replied as he started to

Creative

crawl up the castle. We walked towards the meadow gates, with a giant hedge covered with narcissus poeticus. With a wave of her arm, the twisted willow branch gate opened and we walked through, the gate closing behind us. “So, you are married to Hades, right?” “Yes, but we have an open relationship, given that I return to my mother nine months of the year.” “Oh, cool.” “He’s bi, so go for it,” she says, picking up on the tone of my voice. “What?” “I could tell by the way he was smiling at you, and the way you smiled when you looked at him. Play your cards right, you might enter Elysium,” she said as we arrived at a giant tree. My name was on a sign out front. Up in the tree was a tree house. “Here, I get to live in a tree?” I exclaim, unable to contain my joy. Persephone smiled. “Yes, isn’t it what you always wanted?” “How did you know that?” She lead me up spiral stairs in the heart of the tree. Torches lit with blue fire illuminated the path, yet the tree did not burn down. At the top of the stairs there was a kitchen and a dining room, and then another flight of stairs. Persephone held the door open, and as I walked through I gasped. There were bookshelves filled with leather-bound copies of my favourite books, The Price of Salt, Postcards from the Edge, The Communist Manifesto, Harry Potter, vinyl, a record player near a royal purple chaise longue next to white silk curtains dancing in the wind. Another flight of stairs leads to the bedroom at the topmost floor. A canopy bed with cobalt blue curtains. There was my laptop, a television, walk-in closet, en-suite bathroom, and a balcony. We walked out, and could see a city, and Hades’ castle lit by the magma. “Winter is over tomorrow,” I said.

“Yes, I leave tomorrow morning,” she said. We did not look at each other. “But you wanted to be here.” “Yes, I do. For the many interpretations, I willingly came here, I willingly ate seeds,” she sighed. “Then why don’t you stay?” I asked. I could see light flickering in Hades’ castle. “I can’t, otherwise my mother will curse the earth. But you can care for him, you will, won’t you?” Persephone said, looking at me. “I can try,” I replied, and our hands touch. It felt like we had known each other’s touch for a many lifetimes. “But what if I can’t?” “You will.” “You sound so certain.” “Why do you think I was there to meet you today? With a pomegranate seed?” “Does that not happen to everyone?” I asked. “No, normally Charon will drop them off, and then the mayor will lead them, but you, you are different. He sent me for you,” “But why?” She ran her hand across my cheek, smiled, and kissed my forehead. “It will soon be clear to you,” she said, and then she turned into a swarm of bats and flew to the castle. I had a shower and slipped into bed. The blue silk felt wrapped around my curves and led me safely to my dreams of fire and water meeting on the calm of a storm, holding each other like old friends, both sheltering a single mint plant. “Good morning, sunshine” pulled me from my dreams. There was no light streaming through my curtains, just the orange glow from the magma coursing through the underworld. Hades stood there, holding mint in his hands. “I got you something,” he said, shyly. “I’ve always loved mint.”

Myths of Love Beyond the Canvas A response to the NVG exhibition Love: Art of Emotion. Maddie Burrows For centuries the origin of love has been associated with myth, legend, and fantasy. The meaning of this multifaceted emotion is an intriguing mystery that many have endeavored to solve. The way love is depicted in art and mythology contrasts to explanations in psychology, religion, and science. Which begs the question, what is love and how do we explain it? To ponder this question more deeply, we must understand the truth of love through the human experience. The National Gallery of Victoria (NGV) has attempted to do just that in an exhibition of European art, titled Love: Art of Emotion. The exhibition showcases an archive of more than 200 works from the NGV’s International Collection, dating from 1400 through to the 1800s. The theme of love is explored through sculpture, prints, drawing, and even functional objects such as costume, furniture and religious artefacts from the Medieval through to the Romantic period.

In modern society, the meaning of love is most commonly depicted through romance. In the art of early modern Europe, love is instead illustrated as a complex constellation of emotions. Love: Art of Emotion explores love within the human experience, through familial relationships, religious devotion, friendship, patriotism, narcissism, materialism, and nostalgia. Emotions closely related to love, such as desire, lust, wonder, ecstasy, affection, compassion, envy, melancholy, longing, and hope are also considered in the exhibition. Romantic love is often represented as the quest to find the ‘other half’ - a myth originating from Greek mythology. To illustrate these quests for romance, many works in the exhibition feature Greek Gods and various mythical creatures. Engravings of Venus, the Goddess of Love, and her son Cupid are featured, stirring up erotic desire in humankind. Other small prints of curious mythological creatures depict the excitement, nervousness, and frivolity of young love.

Art

Adjacent to these works are large-scale portraits of French couples dressed in aristocratic clothing, romantically gazing at each other within secluded forests. The careful reveal of areas of pale, pink flesh alludes to acts of forbidden, erotic love. Here, they are hidden from society, free to conduct themselves as they desire. A small stroll further into the exhibition shows portraits of aristocratic families, standing before their manor and lands. The calm serenity of familial love is expressed through the gentle expression of the parents faces, and the loving glances between siblings. As well as the depiction of romantic love, familial love, and erotic desire, the love and devotion of Jesus Christ is featured in the exhibition. In the Bible, the crucifixion of Jesus Christ is said to be the ultimate act of love and sacrifice. This sacrifice is depicted in many ways in religious art, from the morbid and gruesome, through to the beautifully angelic. The ideals of compassion which underpin religious devotion are illustrated in the Christian art, showing Jesus and his love for mankind.

The exhibition Love: Art of Emotion, takes the viewer on a journey through the sentimental, nostalgic journey of the stages of love. Scandalous portraits of first time romances and erotic desire contrast gentle depictions of family love, religious devotion, and horrific loss. Art has shown us here that the meaning of love extends well beyond naive romance.

Vox Pops – Edition 2 Monte Bovill

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Favourite spot in Tassie? Thoughts on the proposed changes to university fees outlined in the 2017 Federal Budget? Why did you choose to study at UTas? Describe your hometown in three words. If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be? If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Chelsea Wilde – Bachelor of Media 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Bicheno because I like the beach. I think that I am going to spend the rest of my life eating baked beans from a can thanks to the government. I am from Tasmania and I love my dog and I did not want to move too far away for her… oh and my fam. Lots of paddocks (Lilydale, Tasmania) Crumpets. Yummmmmm! I would travel to Mexico because it is dangerous and I love tacos.

Amy Groves – Bachelor of Nursing 1.

Swansea. It’s beautiful and the beaches are nice. 2. I think it is ridiculous and unfair. I didn’t want to move out of the state and away from close family and friends. 4. Small, quiet, friendly (Deloraine, Tasmania) 5. Italian because who doesn’t love that?! 6. All over Europe, I’ve always wanted to go there. The history interests me.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Student

Joshua Gouw – Bachelor of Philosophy Cradle Mountain. It looks beautiful in all the seasons. What Federal Budget? Because UTas is in the top two percent research universities in the world. Bruny Island sized (Singapore) Chicken rice. Africa because of the safari adventures.

Rohit Nair – Bachelor of Applied Science (Agriculture and Business) 1.

Mount Wellington as it provides a great view of Hobart and it is only a short drive away. 2. They are pretty annoying as an international student. With the exchange rate it becomes even more expensive. 3. I got a scholarship and UTAS is known for its Agricultural Science. 4. Hot, food, family (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia) 5. Chicken rice. It’s delicious. It’s the stuff of life. 6. Europe - I haven’t been there.

Isha Anand – Bachelor of Medical Research 1.

Salamanca. The restaurants are great, awesome views of the water and you really get a feel of Hobart. 2. It’s unreasonable in the sense that it is already so expensive and young students are now facing even more financial insecurity. 3. I was drawn to their pathway course into MBBS as it stood out from other universities in Australia. 4. Relaxed, beachy, tropical (Townsville, Queensland) 5. Thai. There is a range of flavours and things to choose from. 6. Greece!

Sam Wilson and Matt Knox – Bachelor of Law 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Eddystone - has aesthetics. Definitely not aesthetic. We live in Tasmania so it is easy. Sam - Potatoes, potatoes, potatoes (Scottsdale, Tasmania), Matt - Nice but not (Launceston, Tasmania) Sam - Watermelon Sour Patch Kids, Matt - Pasta. Sam - Guam. I was born there and I want to reconnect to my heritage, Matt - Machu Picchu, Peru.

Tasmania: a state divided? Monte Bovill

The North-South rivalry in Tasmania is nothing new. Historically, the island was divided along the 42nd parallel, the line that signified the separation between the two separate governments in the state. In 1959, the mayors of Hobart and Launceston held a symbolic ceremony of â&#x20AC;&#x153;burying the hatchetâ&#x20AC;?. This was used to signify an end to the rivalries between the North and South. So, is the rivalry between North and South now a misconception, or is our state still divided? In 2017, evidence of rivalry remains and there is still vigorous debate between the North and South. The perceptions Launcestonians and Hobartians have of each other are sometimes quite derogatory. Many Northerners think the South has it all - the capital, the parliament and associated public service departments, the economic boom reflected in rising house prices and, of course, the main campus of UTas. Northerners view this with envious eyes, and see their region as being disadvantaged in terms of economic growth, education opportunities and employment. In contrast, Southerners see the North as being benefited by having its main population centre in the marginal, swing seat of Bass. A long history of AFL games being held in Launceston, better roads, and the north having three public hospitals compared to one in Hobart are all reasons for people in the South to be jealous.

“One of those mischaracterisations is that Launceston is a hole, with many more bogans than in the South,” the Hobart resident said. “There is the idea that it’s a cold and fairly miserable, nothing-to-do place.” Another university student, who could not remember a time he has ever visited Launceston, has a mental image of the North’s largest city of being “a hole filled with black smoke”. “I just have this image in my mind, as you come along the highway you descend into Launceston which is blanketed in smoke,” he said. Arguably, many Launceston residents would not disagree with this on a cold winter’s day, when many wood heaters are burning away. However, Bronte Whish-Wilson is a proud Launcestonian and said that Hobartians are wrong to think they live in the better city. “We have a monkey park and they do not. We have places like the Cataract Gorge and all they have is a mountain… and it’s boring,” she said. “They also have a stupid Christmas tree!” “Because I have grown up in Launceston, I can see past the misconceptions. I’ve experienced the community support… we’re closely connected.” Another Launceston resident described Hobart as “less accepting” and thought many of those who live in the state capital were “snobby hipsters”. “We are all Tasmanians, but we live in arguably Australia’s most divided state. Some would say there is nothing binding for each end of the state to ‘get-along’ in a social sense, and as a result, the bickering, stereotyping, and misconceived ideas have continued,” Gavin Duhig said. North-South rivalry in Tasmania is certainly not dead, and through this rivalry misconceptions about each end of the state have continued - just ask a local!

Local

UTas Student, Gavin Duhig, described the misconceptions people have of Launceston and Hobart as being “schoolyard mischaracterisations”.

Baptised in Blood Callum J Jones

Image: Tasmanian Archives Office

There are stories strewn throughout history that very few people have heard of before. One of these is the story of Port Arthur’s convict-built church. Port Arthur was established in 1830 and operated for forty-seven years until it was decommissioned in 1877. 12,000 sentences were served here during that time by 7000 men. Of these men, few were innocent. They weren’t convicts who had stolen a loaf of bread to feed their starving families. They were, in fact, repeat offenders from all over Australia; no convicts arrived at Port Arthur directly from Great Britain. The convicts dreaded coming to Port Arthur because their strength, sweat, and blood were needed to build the settlement through hard labour. On top of this, the place was remote, cold, and far away from civilisation. If any of them disobeyed or misbehaved at Port Arthur, they’d be lashed, locked away in solitary confinement, or put into chains. They were never treated with dignity; they were treated for what they were, hardened criminals. The church at Port Arthur was built between 1835 and 1837, the first brick-and-stone building constructed on-

site. Local residents have always said that it was baptised in blood twice. The first baptism took place on 16th December 1835, when a convict work gang was digging the foundation trenches for the church. Four convicts dug with pickaxes and shovels, with spares of these tools on the ground between twenty and fifty yards away from them. Another small group wheeled soil away in wheelbarrows. William Riley, one of the convicts who was wheeling away soil, grabbed one of the spare pickaxes and struck Joseph Shuttleworth, who was digging, three times on the head. Shuttleworth didn’t die straight away, despite his skull being badly fractured. He was still alive and fully aware of what was going on. Shortly after being taken to the hospital, though, he started convulsing and died half an hour later. After Riley had dealt his three blows to Shuttleworth, another convict named John Chidy grabbed him by the shoulders and escorted him away from the scene. Riley didn’t attempt to escape Chidy’s firm hold. He only ever

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Image: Callum J Jones

said three words in his defence which were: “I am satisfied”. He was taken to Hobart, found guilty of murder, and was hanged. This was an unexpected murder with no apparent motive. There’s no record of Riley and Shuttleworth having any bad words or a long-lasting feud. A myth has developed that it was one out of the many suicide pacts made between convicts during the convict era. Self-inflicted suicide was a mortal sin for the largely Catholic convict population, but if one died at the hands of others (Shuttleworth at the hands of Riley, Riley at the hands of the hangman), they’d be accepted into Heaven. The second baptism took place a few months after the first, with the church still under construction. Some convicts were on top of the walls, laying bricks. One fell and hit his head on the wall on the way down, cutting it open. He died from his injuries. None of the other convicts came forward to tell what happened. Did the convict lose his balance and fall? Or was he pushed?

The Riley and Shuttleworth situation was recorded in local newspapers as the most hideous and grizzly of crimes, but the second baptism of blood goes almost unrecorded. Years after the church was burnt out in 1884, green ivy grew all over the abandoned walls. What’s fascinating is that the ivy never grew on the part of the wall where the second baptism took place. The locals say this followed a very strong superstition that ivy will not grow where a murdered man’s blood has flowed. Old black-and-white photographs of the church from the 1860s to the 1940s still exist, along with footage of it that was shot in the 1920s for the silent film adaptation of For the Term of His Natural Life. The church has earned a reputation for being haunted by Riley and Shuttleworth’s ghosts. Their souls are said to have never reached the gates of Heaven, and are now shackled to Port Arthur by chains that can never be broken.

“I want to believe” Bethany Green

In the October of 1978, Frederick Valentich and his light craft plane disappeared without a trace over the Bass Strait. “It isn’t a ship” was his final transmission to the Melbourne Flight Service at 7:12pm, before a metallic scraping sound interrupted transmission and his signal was lost. Earlier that day, at 6:19pm, Valentich, a “Flying saucer enthusiast”, departed from Moorabbin, Victoria, to embark on a routine flight training exercise. At 7:06pm, he radioed in to report an unidentified aircraft tailing his ship. He reported that the aircraft flew 300 metres overhead, then approached his ship from the East. It was “playing with him”. However, Melbourne Flight Service responded, stating there was no known traffic in his proximity. By 7:20, Valentich and his aircraft vanished, never to be heard from again. Valentich’s story is thought by many Unidentified Flying Object (UFO) enthusiasts in the community to be evidence of extraterrestrial life, or at the very least, UFOs. Even the more sceptical were forced to acknowledge the mysterious circumstances surrounding this baffling and unsolved case. “I am always intrigued by the Frederick Valentich case,” said Ashleigh Butler of the Tasmanian UFO Investigation Centre (TUFOIC). “It is not only baffling, but there have

also been similar cases in different parts of the world. “I have my suspicions that past Tasmanian UFO activity, particularly along the Bass Strait, may have something to do with magnetic force fields or craft looking for some kind of recourse they may need for fuel or survival wherever they come from.” She explains how over her years of research with the TUFOIC, she has “found reason to believe that some types of craft are drawn to magnetic force fields around earth that entice them to some kind of needed recourse.” The TUFOIC is a local group conducting investigations and research into UFOs, cryptozoology, the paranormal, and other unexplained phenomena. The team, consisting of both Ms Butler and Phil Pholden, collect information regarding paranormal phenomena. If the information is deemed credible, TUFOIC upload them to their computer database which is shared with other UFO organisations within Australia and overseas, as well as the Australasian Ufologist Magazine. “The group was first founded in 1965, many of the original members have moved on or passed away, but we intend to keep this organisation running,” said Ms Butler. “It is not only valuable to the history of Tasmania, it allows for a safe platform for locals to come forward and dis-

Local

cuss any possible sightings without the fear of being dismissed or bullied.” The majority of reports the TUFOIC receives involve sightings of “unexplained phenomena” in the night skies, many of which are later found to be astronomical incidences such as asteroids or stars. “Cases of UFO sightings have been reported all over Tasmania since TUFOIC was first founded – only a small percentage of these cases have credibility,” said Ms Butler. When asked about the portrayal of UFO’s and extraterrestrial life in the media, Ms Butler said, “Movies like Paul which are aimed at families are fantastic. They are entertaining, but also give little clues towards things that could be real.

too much interest in the area. I’d highly recommend it.” When asked about the misconceptions surrounding her line of work, Ms Butler said, “Unfortunately, discussion about UFO phenomena is still somewhat of a taboo. “There will always be individuals who question why people such as myself and Phil are so passionate and forthcoming as the idea of UFO’s and extraterrestrial life,” she said. “It is still too farfetched for some to wrap their heads around. “We understand people have individual beliefs and their own personal understanding on such topics, we just hope to help clarify incidences that occur and help the community as best as we can.”

“Have you noticed how Paul is actually E.T, and E.T may be based on the story of an alien or EBE (Extraterrestrial Biological Entity) that was captured and held by American military but got sick and died in captivity?” Ms Butler said her favourite UFO related movie was The Fourth Kind. “The film is based in Nome, Alaska. With such a small population - well let’s just say there were a lot of sightings, families in peril and the government showed way

For more information, TUFOIC can be contacted via http://tiny.cc/TUFOIC

In Shadow of the Clock Tower Dominic Davies

A new era had dawned but notwithstanding, it reminisced to a time of grandiose clockwork machines fuelled by steam. Innumerable years had passed since the conjunction of the Outer World. Colossal clock towers emerged from unfathomable depths, conjuring with them a horde of hellish abominations, who swiftly feasted on the sultry flesh of humans. This earth was no longer the domain of men, but also a province for repugnant creatures and their grotesque brood. The world, now coated in dense fuliginous mist, swirled thickest around a small town where individuals resided as livestock. Thriving in their masses, the only concerns were moving from day to day without invoking the voracious wrath of monolithic creatures. An enormous clock tower loomed above the town, casting an immense shadow that obscured light, sealing the inhabitants in an everlasting state of limbo. Upon every hour, the clock chimed, but the discernible chime was now replaced by horrific screams. Shrieks that sent chills down the spines of all who heard, excluding the residence. Two giant grotesque creatures stood beside the clock tower, their bat-like appearance resembling gothic gargoyles that watched over great cathedrals. Their bodies, humanoid in appearance but covered in ebony fur, contrasted with dark green scales.These travelled down their bodies and into a forked tail that sat below webbed wings, wings that prompted thoughts of vampiric horrors that men would write about in fictional stories. Frederick van Grimhawl stood atop a knoll on the outskirts of the town, glaring at the behemoths. A gleam of malice buried deep within his ancient eyes. He was adorned in an old, brown leather trench coat torn at the

base, a matching top hat seated on his head, concealing the majority of his tattered grey hair. Perched upon his pointed nose was a rounded pair of silver spectacles. It was quite an astounding feat that his glasses remain in such a good condition, considering his profession. Frederick strolled down the damp hill onto the dirt road, all manner of overgrown foliage and entangling the path ahead, leading to a large wooden fence that enclosed the perimeter of the town. It had been some time since a traveller had arrived, longer still for a hunter to dare brave the streets of Helcanville. As he walked, he observed a lack of playful children darting about the town. There was an increase in the old crones that gossiped amongst themselves as he passed. Their gaze was captured by the glimmer of his silver longsword strapped to his hip. As he turned to face them, they swiftly glanced away, praying the stranger didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t notice their stares. It became apparent that the residence had entered a fiendish covenant with these creatures. This entailed a contract, offering children to quench their wrath. What happened to them after the young were spirited away to the clock tower was unknown. Something most foul had befallen them, apparent on the hour as the dreadful shrieks echoed through the town. Frederick skimmed the wide-open thoroughfares for a place to rest. He spied an inn not too far from where he was standing. He entered the empty guest house. An older man stood behind the counter, liquor lining the shelves. A long white beard in five braids adorned his face, the only hair upon the manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s head. His eyes were dull, almost lifeless, but moved swift and sharp as a hawk. The man looked up at him, paused for a moment, then began to straighten his purple flowery vest.

Creative

‘Welcome, what can old William do for you?’ William’s voice was harsh and irregular, as if he hadn’t conversed in eons.

He rummaged through the dilapidated box, the loud res-

‘What do you know about the clock tower?’ Frederick asked as he approached the counter, mounting one of the crimson stools.

key the size of his index finger, giving it a wipe on his vest

‘It’s been here for as long as I have. Doesn’t do much beside tell the time and chime, but you seem a man who is looking for his own death. Why else would you demand to know about the place?’ He retorted, grasping a goblet from under the counter and wiping at it with an old rag while observing Frederick.

maining lukewarm liquid, exciting his throat. Rising from

onance of diverse metals clanging against one another, echoing around the vacant inn. He pulled out a copper before handing it to Frederick. ‘Many thanks,’ Frederick responded, gulping down the rebehind the neatly polished bench, he headed towards a narrow wooden walkway, forecasting an illuminated staircase that elevated to the second floor. His feet bellowed through the empty antechamber above,

‘Quite the claim,’ Frederick remarked, reimbursing the gaze. ‘Has no-one emerged from the tower before?’ he asked, removing his hat.

his old heavy boots squeaking with every slight move-

‘The village leaders go in and out from time to time, they bring offerings.’He grabbed a half empty bottle from behind the counter and poured it into the goblet and took a mouthful before returning it to the shelf. He pushed the drink towards Frederick.

window was nestled at the back wall and a moss green

‘On the house, master hunter. We all need something to warm us before the end.’ He smirked proudly, as if the fact that Fredrick being a hunter was a magnificent mystery.

east wall, the sheets neatly pressed in such a manner

‘Well today is as good as any other to meet the end,’ Frederick replied, bringing the cup to his cracked lips and sipping the lukewarm liquor.

ous journey. His back cracked as he laid himself down

‘I’ll be needing a room until the night, is there any available?’ he asked, seating the cup down on the counter. ‘I’ll prepare my best room.’ William reached under the counter and pulled out a worn book and a box of old keys.

ment. After continuing down the dimly lit space, he arrived at his destination, entering his quarters. A small arm chair was nestled beside it. Upon the floor rested a woven carpet adorned with patterns, harkening back to Indian beliefs: anecdotes of multi-limbed deities that resided within bountiful gardens. A bed sat against the one could bounce a coin of the tightly pulled surface. The laurel green cotton is a welcomed respite from the arduupon on the soft surface. His eyes grew heftier instantaneously, deep melancholy obscurities dancing across his vision, obscurities appropriating lamentations; forms best not reminisced. ‘Such, such sweet, laugh…ter,’ he muttered. Overcome by sadness sleep swiftly took hold of him.

vvw

The Devil’s in the Details in the A brief foray into the history of magic and art Details Emma Skalicky

A brief foray into the history of magic and art. Emma Skalicky

Even if you haven’t heard of Doctor Faustus, you’ve almost certainly encountered its presence somewhere in your life. Helen of Troy’s famous descriptor, “the face that launched a thousand ships,” is a Doctor Faustus quote, and the very idea of a pact with the devil – a Faustian Pact – was made popular by its publication. It comes as no surprise then, that the early productions of this play are riddled with stories of supernatural goings on. To give you some context, magic in the Early Modern Period was a more or less a legitimate area of study, with even Queen Elizabeth employing her own personal alchemist, John Dee, to advise and impress her with his magical abilities. Magic had its rules, too, as Renaissance scholar Andrew Sofer notes,

Throughout history, many artists and musicians have been said to gain their skills from otherworldly forces. From The Muses granting inspiration to those that invoked them, to fiddlers being whisked away by fairies and coming back as masters of their instrument, the association between creativity and the supernatural isn’t a new concept. More recently, this association has been found in late Judeo-Christian-inspired folk lore too. The violinist Niccolò Paganini was said to have sold his soul to the devil in order to gain mastery over his instrument, while legend has it that Giuseppe Tartini wrote his Devil’s Trill Sonata after the devil visited him in a dream. Even more recently, blues legend Robert Johnson is said to have met the devil at a crossroads and sold his soul for mastery over the guitar, and the list continues to go on. However, perhaps one of the most fascinating and widely witnessed examples of the devil playing his hand in a work of art is in the early productions of Christopher Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus.

“For Elizabethans, the power to conjure inhered in the utterance itself – […] its “occult force” - rather than in the will or intention of the speaker.” By which Sofer means that magic was in the power of words and study; it did not matter how smart or special a magician thought they were, if they had the words in front of them, then the spell would happen regardless. Therefore, when Christopher Marlowe wrote a play with a real, unabridged devil-summoning spell in it, Early Modern audiences were positively jittering with the idea that a real devil might appear on stage. And, if you believe the records, they did. More than once. In amongst the varied reports of real devils appearing on stage during a production of Doctor Faustus, one account tends to be referenced above all the others. Written in the back of a monograph, an anonymous writer who referred to themselves only as “G.J.R” reported that during the

Much like the dubious legality of Count Olaf and Violet Baudelaire’s wedding in Lemony Snicket’s The Bad Beginning, the difference between a spell uttered in real life and a spell uttered on stage is not as big as one might imagine. That is, when all the parts are there. But perhaps this border between representation and reality is exactly the kind of exciting, undefinable space that Marlowe wanted the audience to inhabit – a gripping, edge-ofyour-seat fascination with the idea that the tightrope walker might fall to his death, or that the devil might appear before your eyes. Maybe you want it to happen, in a morbid way. Maybe believing in the possibility is enough to make it so. The power of fear and taboo that permeates early productions of Doctor Faustus is pretty fascinating, but it wouldn’t be accurate to say that superstition in the arts is long since dead. Backstage, out of habit, some actors still avoid saying “Macbeth” out loud for fear of bad luck. The 27 club that seems to claim so many musicians remains a massive wellspring for conspiracy theories. Even over the course of directing my own production of Doctor Faustus, I have had more than one person warn me about “messing” with magic on stage out of nothing but genuine goodwill and concern.

It seems that even now the creative arts and mysticism remain intertwined. Perhaps it’s because of the depth of emotional resonance art can evoke. Perhaps because of the unique beliefs, biases, cultures, and fears in each of these artists’ communities. Perhaps it’s a mix of these, or something else entirely, too. I can’t really claim to be sure, but it’s great food for thought. In the event that the devil actually appears on stage during our production of Doctor Faustus, PLoT Theatre Company wouldn’t mind having a big audience to back us up. If this kind of foray into magic on stage (or even just a good, old, well-told story) interests you – we’re on from July 28th to August 5th at the Moonah Arts Centre. Come along for a night of horror and excitement, it’s sure to be devilish indeed.

PLoT Theatre presents The Tragical History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus At the Moonah Arts Centre July 28th – August 5th at 8pm & July 30th at 2pm Tickets available via Centertainment

“...there was suddenly ‘one devil too many amongst them,’ and ... ‘every man hastened to be first out of doors […] the players contrary to their custom spending the night in reading and in prayer got them out of the town the next morning.’”

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summoning scene of one production, there was suddenly “one devil too many amongst them,” and that “every man hastened to be first out of doors […] the players contrary to their custom spending the night in reading and in prayer got them out of the town the next morning.” So it seems that in amongst all of the dramatics, the paint, and the posturing, it only took a little well researched Latin and some symbols drawn in chalk for the Devil himself to be summoned into that little theatre in Exeter. At least in the minds of the audience.

Printmaking

Emma Skalicky Gallery

If mythical creatures had eHarmony… Claire-Louise McCann

Dragons

Mermaids

Occupation: Pest controller Age: 657 Height: 327cm Eye colour: Green Hair colour: No hair, just scales Wants kids: To eat or…? Pets: I like sheep…I like eating sheep City/country: Cardiff, Wales Languages spoken: I speak all languages Religion: Myself Smokes: Yes I can’t help it…

Occupation: Causing shipwrecks lol :p Age: 115 Height: 162cm Eye colour: Green Hair colour: Green and blue, it’s totally ombre Wants kids: No who would lmfao Pets: No ew they’re messy City/country: California, USA Languages spoken: Emoji! ;p Religion: Life #blessed Drinks: Scallop shots with the girls! Smoke: Ew no that’s gross af

Important qualities I want in a partner: Someone who also likes sheep, no vegetarians or vegans. Also someone who isn’t flammable would be so great. No long hair please. Language isn’t an issue, I speak them all which is pretty cool. Oh and I snack in my sleep, so someone who won’t mind crumbs in bed. No-one with asthma either, because I can’t control my smoking.

Important qualities I want in a partner: I need a man who’s hella fit, and is all into that #cleaneating lifestyle but still knows how to have fun and go out and party! He’s gotta treat me like his princess, like I wanna be spoiled with pretty things. He’s gotta be into the same things as me, like shopping and proper fin care, and all my girls have gotta like him, cos you know what the Spice Girls say #preach!

Occupation: Scaring humans rofl Age: 123 Height: 190cm Eye colour: Blue

Important qualities I want in a partner: So I’m not looking for anything serious lol, just sayin’. I’m just on here looking for a hot chick who’s up for a good time, and doesn’t mind if I’ve got other chicks on the side ;). She’s gotta not be needy or clingy, cos I don’t have time for that lmao, and she’s gotta take care of her body, preferably blonde, and toned but not skinny you get me?

Centaurs

Bunyips

Occupation: Astrologist Age: 158 Height: 160cm Eye colour: Hazel Hair colour: Blonde Wants kids: If the stars say it is to be Pets: If the heavens wish it so City/country: Athens, Greece Languages spoken: Greek, English Religion: The cosmos Drinks: Drinking clouds one’s perception Smokes: No it’s bad for one’s aura

Occupation: Fisher and hunter Age: 89 Height: 50cm Eye colour: Black Hair colour: Brown Wants kids: Yeah, that’s what Centrelink’s for Pets: I like eating wallabies City/country: Australia Languages spoken: Australian mate Religion: Footy Drinks: Coopers XXX Gold Smoke: Durries

Important qualities I want in a partner: Someone who respects the magnificence of the stars as much as I. They must understand the significance of the heavens, and be happy to stargaze with me for hours upon hours. I would also prefer a life partner who does not smoke or drink, as that would cloud my ability to communicate with the heavens. Otherwise, I am looking for whoever the stars believe would be suitable for me.

Important qualities I want in a partner: Yeah nah so I’m looking for a smokin’ sheila who’ll love me for the bloke I am and won’t try and change me. She’ll love fishing and hunting and won’t be one of those high maintenance gals, but she’ll still be hot. She won’t mind having to kip rough when we go out chasing game. She’ll like her beer, and will always appreciate my cooking skills when I do a snag on the barbie.

Trolls

;)

Hair colour: Blonde Wants kids: Lol no even tho my side chick’s preggers Pets: Nah too much responsibility City/country: Brighton, UK Languages spoken: Bro ;) Religion: Yeah the boys! Drinks: Beers with the lads Smoke: A cheeky fag every now and then

Dr Neezy’s Love Column This month’s featured carnal query has received $50 to Uni barrel fave, Taco Taco.

“Dear Dr Neezy, I have a fetish for having Mexican food rubbed all over me during sex. How do I tell my boyfriend what I want? I want him to throw me down on the bed, pour the saucy salsa all over my body, massaging it into my crevices. Next, I want him to sprinkle cheddar all over my body, making me so hot that it melts. Then I want his beef... in my taco. Then, for dessert I want to eat cheesecake while he eats mine ;) How can I make this Mexican fiesta become a reality? Lots of love, The Team at Zambreros” – Spicy ricey! If this is how you folk advertise now, then there’s quite a bulge in my wallet! Fortunately for you gurl, foodplay is totally in right now. For all you folks reading, I’m only going to say this once: communication is key. I learnt that on Reddit, so I’m guessing you lefty cucks already know this golden rule. You’ve got two options here for initiation. The hard option is to broach the topic with your novio. Go in gently with a food you know he likes. Ask if he’s ever thought of nibbling some nugs while you engorge his eggplant. Should this not open up the conversation, just blueball the boy. When he asks what is wrong for the fifth time, actually explain. Don’t leave it too long or his guilt will turn to frustration. Should this prove successful, your order should be coming with extra guac. Just remember to bag that takeout, lest you folks have to start providing for another mouth to feed #plate4plate.

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;)

“Dear Dr Neezy,

“Hey there Goonranga,

I have a wonderful guy. Smart, caring, funny as hell. You’d think that’s perfect right? I thought so too.

Asking for some unsuccessful mates here, how do you do it?! You have even more of a red tinge to your hair than Ronald McDonald, yet you manage to open up your first aid kit and hand out quite a bit of the old McTreatment! Can you give any tips to some poor lads who have an extremely sore left hand? They are looking for some lovely lasses to be passed out on Mobi couches with!

The problem is, he runs a particular relationship column. At first, I was excited for him to share his romantic knowledge to the world, but the advice he has given so far is god-awful! It’s a side of him I haven’t seen before and I’m afraid that he will use the advice he gives in our relationship. It’s scary! It makes me anxious every time we see each other.

Campbell Macdonald”

PLEASE HELP ME WITH YOUR WISDOM

–

PS What does “snugs” mean?

Well it helps if you’re always stocked with a goonie and have a red beard. You’ve pretty much answered your own question. I’m basically a more achievable Ed Sheeran. Enough about me.

AnonyMOOSE” – Unless he’s a doctor, like myself, you should just chill. It’s normal to pick flaws when you’ve found perfection. Considering nothing explosive has happened so far, his relationship advice is probably levelled at those poor insufferable youngsters looking for edification in the pages of shitty community magazines. As for snugs, that’s best found out on your terms. You know the deal, send “snugs?” Just be prepared for a soggy wake up tonight. Throw down a towel when you climb into bed and put on your business socks.

“Dear Dr Neezy, Everyone has been telling me recently that my boyfriend is gay. Then a while ago I found him in bed with his best guy friend. They were just sleeping, but it did make me wonder. How do I know for sure? What are the signs I should look out for?”

Depending on how high your level of self-loathing is, there’s a few options. Taking a fleshlight to a body pillow is about the easiest option I can suggest for the lads. If you folks want to spice it up, invite them over for a team sesh after a Friday night game. If you kids are willing to go the extra mile, I hear that Mobi is going off right now. A very solid choice, and a great stomping ground to show off those abnormally large forearms I sure you all have. There is a very delicate ritual to the Mobi hunt. As I’m sure you kids know, don’t turn up before 1am. Should you get this much right, you boys need to treat that dancefloor like a Jewish wedding and glass the fuck out of it.* When you see cuties popping a limp from the comfort of your sticky Mobi couch, approach them. Tell them you study med, the hospital emergency room is packed on a weekend, and you can fix them up at home. I’m trusting you with this first aid kit, you’re McThirsty.

– Sit him down on your couch. Break out the Wii and throw on a copy of Donkey Kong. If he cracks stiff while dainty Diddy inhales bananas, you will know. You will know.

*Dr Neezy takes no responsibility for injuries the result of stomped glass. This is a cultural tradition of Mobius that Togatus does not endorse.

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Misconceptions about Fans and Fandom that I wish had died a long time ago Elise Sweeney

Passionate fans are just social outcasts/screaming girls/ crazy/middle-aged men who have had no success in life Let’s clear this up: the stereotypes that abound in media of fans are ridiculous generalisations made by those on the outside who have no understanding of the communities and, it seems, no awareness of their own prejudices. Just as fans of first-person shooter video games can tell you, they almost never depict the overwhelming majority of that fandom. Sometimes they actually portray something that is perfectly fine in a negative light, which can be genuinely messed up (as is common with the image of a nerd that showing potential signs of being on the autism spectrum becoming a joke to ‘normal’ people). If someone is a fan of Star Wars, that doesn’t make them crazy - it makes them part of the overwhelming majority. Yet we still think having apathy towards things makes someone ‘cool’. We live in a time where fandom is the most mainstream it’s ever been. People are consuming more media now than ever before and loving it; being passionate about that media is something to celebrate, not berate. Fanfiction is always hyper-sexualised, and bad Fanfiction is everywhere these days. Every reboot and almost every comic book film are some form of fanfiction. They aren’t exclusively bad, and neither is any other, less official form of fanfiction, nor are they without merit. Fanfiction has gotten new writers to learn skills they might otherwise not achieve, all because they weren’t caught up on introducing the reader to characters. I’ve also seen novel-length fanfiction that was written by people who have already been published in print for their other work, and are simply sharing their love and skills in a different way. And while it can often be explicit

in nature, that doesn’t have to be such a bad thing. If it gets more people invested in reading and enjoying themselves, and as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, we shouldn’t care what they read. Shipping is just for lots of straight, horny teenage girls, wanting to see two hot men kiss As far as I can tell, this stems from the sexist double standard that a girl having any autonomous sexuality is wrong, but that ‘boys will be boys.’ In school, girls who have sex have 2.27 times the odds of being bullied more than boys who do, according to a study from Brown University in 2014. As someone who has been a part of the Sherlock fandom for years, it’s become clear to me through their annual in-fandom surveys that the majority of shippers who ship queer pairings are probably queer themselves. Fandom provides a way for marginalised groups to see themselves in their favourite characters. When criticising those who participate, there is the potential that their identity is also being criticised. Shipping is something people have been doing for centuries. When content is shown to audiences, it becomes everyone’s. Your reading of a character won’t always align with others’. And that’s ok. Fans are too entitled now, they just need to leave creators alone Last of all, fans have been entitled for as long as there have been cool stories in the world. Arthur Conan Doyle brought Sherlock Holmes back because he was sick of fans asking him to. The only difference between now and then is that the communication between creators and consumers of media is much easier. If fans want to critique a piece of media they love, or are disappointed by part of it, they should be allowed to.

Opinion

Wives’ tales explained Daisy Baker

Feature

If a woman is carrying low, it’s a boy

Plucking grey hairs will make more grow

People love to speculate about the sex of an unborn baby. There are many wives’ tales relating to this, but perhaps the most common one links the baby’s position in the uterus with its sex. If a baby is positioned lower in the uterus, it is often predicted it will be a boy, while a higher positioned baby is thought to be a girl. This theory has been dispelled by obstetricians and gynaecologists who assert a baby’s position is not dependent on its sex, but it size – a larger baby will be more highly positioned, causing the mother’s belly to protrude more, while a smaller baby will sit lower in the uterus.

“NOOOO! Don’t pull it out,” he screams as I point out the silver strand that basically waves to me from a sea of black hair. “Even more will grow back in its place if you pull it out,” he exclaims. This one really is a wives’ tale, dispelled by trichologists (hair and scalp specialists), who explain that we cannot increase the number of hair follicles we have. It’s actually quite the opposite. Plucking hair causes trauma to the follicle and can send it into ‘rest’, slowing (or stopping) the hair production. If you’re really concerned either carefully cut it or dye it.

Chicken soup makes your cold better Your grandmother’s advice to slurp down her soup when you had the snottiest of colds was not misguided. Chicken soup has been scientifically proven to reduce upper respiratory symptoms and helps clear mucus. Hot fluids in general are good for mucus movement, but studies have found chicken soup works particularly well. If you still think it’s more placebo effect than science, there are more bonuses: vegetables are packed with nutrients and the soup helps with hydration. Chewing gum or bread while cutting onions reduces tears

Eating carrots helps you see in the dark Carrots contain vitamin A, which is important for maintaining eye health, but they don’t really help you see in the dark. This myth originates from World War II, when the Royal Air Force (RAF) claimed their pilots’ accuracy at night time was because they ate carrots. Their accuracy was perhaps more to do with the new radar system the RAF had developed to shoot down German bombers than their diet. The RAF’s attempt to keep their new technology on the down low has led to generations of confusion. While eating heaps of carrots won’t make you see in the dark, it can turn your palms orange because of the carotene it contains.

When you chop an onion, you damage its cells and it releases a number of gases that burn your eyes. There are many theories that suggest chewing gum or bread while chopping onions will prevent the gases from making your peepers water. The issue here is that putting something in your mouth is unlikely to affect the degree to which an onion burns your eyes. Instead, try wearing goggles, having a fan to blow away the gases, or chilling the onion to slow the release of gases.

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Monte Bovill Gallery

Ukraine: 101 The war in Europe you didn’t know was there. Joe Brady

There’s a war in Europe underway right now, and it’s been going on since 2014. Conflict in Europe is pretty rare these days, which is exactly what multinational organisations like the European Union attempt to maintain. Even countries that aren’t a part of the EU, like the ones in the Balkans and a handful of Eastern European nations, have lead a relatively peaceful life since the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991 and the troubles in the Balkans in 1995.

folk of Tassie who don’t get what the break in the ceasefire in Luhansk is all about. This will be a map to the war, stripped down to its bones, laid bare without jargon and polityka. And at the end, if this sounds interesting to you, go out and research it further. Knowing what these things are about is important. Our world is so global these days that even little things, like a civil conflict in a far-away country, can affect Australia and the Western world in ways that are not immediately clear.

The problems of European nations are far removed from our wintery Tasmanian shores. Australia hasn’t been involved directly in any conflict in Europe since 1945. And it is easy, as a result, for any ‘troubles’ they’re having over there to be so far removed from our public consciousness that the brief glimpses we see on news bulletins appear something of a fairy-tale. After all, Ukraine isn’t like France or Germany or Britain. It’s not all that far from Russia, right?

So, Ukraine has always been politically entangled with Russia. The people in the East of Ukraine, especially in the Donbass region, often speak Russian, and have a similar culture and customs. The people of Western Ukraine are a little more “continental European” in their political flavour, and have a Western disposition. Ukraine was formed out of Russian territory in 1917, and later transformed into an independent republic after the breakup of the Soviet Union. But like a lot of ex-Soviet republics, the transition was not always smooth, and was filled with corruption and oligarchy.

But these things aren’t fairytales. In 2014, Malaysian Airlines flight 17 was shot down by a Buk missile system over Donetsk in Ukraine. On board were three Western Australian kids and their grandfather. They were four of 27 Aussies who died in a crash that killed 298 people. All of a sudden, regular Australians were wrapped up in a complex conflict on the other side of the world. With these regional conflicts, full of historic rivalry and political fervour, it can be a hard to know where to begin. This little piece is a guide to Ukraine’s War in Donbass: 101. It is not an essay or comprehensive guide to the conflict. This is for the hardy, perfectly ordinary, sun-kissed

A decade later, a key figure appears: Viktor Yanukovych (ya-noo-ko-vitch). He became Ukraine’s 4th president in 2010. Above, we mentioned that Eastern Ukraine feels closer to Russia than it does to Europe. Western Ukraine largely feels the opposite. To the cosmopolitan people of the West, becoming closer with European countries like France and Germany is generally popular and a lot of Western Ukrainians want to join the EU. Yanukovych’s platform appealed far more to the Ukrainians of the East, with his anti-EU rhetoric and a desire for stronger ties with Russia. However, those political opinions are not the

By November 2013 central Kiev, the capital of Ukraine, looked like a warzone. What started out as widespread protests against Yanukovych quickly steamrolled into total revolution. Huge barricades built of burning tires were assembled in the main square. Three months later in the dawn of 2014, police fired rubber and live rounds into protesters, and police snipers fired on revolutionaries out in the open. By late February, Yanukovych, along with other government ministers, had fled to Russia. Things quickly deteriorated from there. Following the ‘Euromaidan’, as the revolution was called, the Crimean peninsula, an autonomous Ukrainian republic and largely Russian ethnic people, denounced the new government in Kiev. Crimea is a small territory adjacent to the Black Sea, and distinctly Russian in its political values and customs. Crimea attempted to hold a referendum of secession, which the Kiev interim government promptly announced as unconstitutional before dissolving the Crimean parliament. Mid-March 2014, Russia annexed Crimea. The war that continues today is born from the same Eastern dissatisfaction with the pro-EU interim government in capital. The Donbass region, which is almost as far East both culturally and geographically as you can travel in Ukraine, erupted in protest after the Euromaidan, seizing

the opportunity like Crimea did to secede from Ukraine and establish closer ties with Russia. The Donbass region has two major cities in it: Luhansk, and Donetsk. The aim of these regions is to establish the Donetsk People’s Republic, and the Luhansk People’s Republic. Ukraine does not recognise these republics, and is now embroiled in a war against the separatist forces It is in this war that MH17, the doomed flight carrying no Ukrainians at all, was shot down. It was destroyed by a sophisticated missile system by Donbass separatists, who thought the airliner was a Ukrainian transport. Russia actively equips separatists, and though it vehemently denies it, supplies troops to fight in this war against Ukraine. The United States trains and equips Ukrainians in return, under a support act orchestrated in the Obama presidency. To this day, the fight between the separatists and Ukraine continues. Several ceasefires have been attempted, although they’re frequently broken on both sides. The borders of conflict haven’t shifted much; for now, it’s a stalemate. The impact of these conflicts, and the involvement of powers like the US and Russia, are exactly why these conflicts have important ramifications. Although the war in Ukraine appears to be a civil conflict contained within national borders, Russia’s expansion into Eastern Europe has the Western world wary. And in these proxy wars, in both Ukraine and Syria, how efforts for peace will unfold amidst US and Russian suspicions is something us Tassies will have to wait and see.

International

only reason why Viktor is currently in exile in Russia, and wanted for high treason in Ukraine. His habit of trying to silence journalists inquiring into his finances, and his alleged embezzlement of 70 billion dollars from the taxpayer into foreign accounts turned the general public against him.

Why poverty matters and what you can do about it

Dan Prichard

We are pretty darn lucky to live where we are and live how we do. Just think about it. A small island, a whole world away from rising political tensions, completely isolated from threats of violence. Snug as a bug in a rug on our little slice of paradise. Funnily enough, we still like to complain. A lot. Ever scrolled a news feed completely free of complaints about the latest budget, the weather, Academy Award winners or Donald Trump’s latest stab at a minority group? Me neither. At the end of the day, it’s important to realise that we have what we have as a result of sheer luck. Some of us have been born lucky, and it is our duty to appreciate the goodness we’ve been given. As citizens of a modern, ever-changing world, we often dismiss issues that don’t directly affect us. Take natural disasters for example. Cyclones in North America or earthquakes in New Zealand will take a Facebook like or status at best from most of us. A pattern exists where modern citizens tend to either show little sympathy for those suffering issues of injustice, or draw quick conclusions regarding the causes of these problems. Poverty is a victim of this process of over-simplification. If I say poverty, what’s the first image that comes to mind? A malnourished, half-clothed African child playing with a squashed Coca Cola can? A bomb-struck home in southeast Asia captured by National Geographic? A homeless family living in the trash-ridden slums of India? These are all common images, provided by the generosity of our

“If I say poverty, what’s the first image that comes to mind? A malnourished, half-clothed African child playing with a squashed Coca Cola can? A bomb-struck home in southeast Asia captured by National Geographic? A homeless family living in the trash-ridden slums of India?” ever-accurate mass media. What we need to realise as global citizens is that this is only one part of the enigma that is the anatomy of modern poverty. There is a range of differing forms of poverty. What we’re exposed to constantly through media is known as economic poverty. In Australia, if a person lives on less than $2 each day, they are living in a state of economic poverty. Whilst popular culture and the media may lead us to believe that this form of poverty is geographically worlds away from

Opinion

us, this does not correspond with Australian statistics. According to data presented in the Australian Council of Social Services’ 2016 report Poverty in Australia, over thirteen per cent of the population (almost three million Australians) were reportedly living below the poverty line in previous years. We may think that poverty doesn’t impact upon Australian life, when in reality, one in eight people in Australia could be suffering economic poverty. However, this isn’t the only way through which individuals find themselves living in a state of poverty. One form of poverty that remains extremely relevant in this era of virtual communities and isolation is poverty of affection. Defined by Worldshare as a “lack of love and distorted feelings,” this form of poverty affects a dramatic percentage of Australians, as revealed through recent statistics regarding loneliness across our nation. Eighty per cent of respondents to a 2016 Lifeline survey identified as feeling lonely within their communities. Loneliness detrimentally influences the mental health of individuals, as we know all too well, resulting in the lowering of both self-esteem and life outcomes. Whilst many of us would usually believe that poverty just affects people with no money, it’s also important to realise that many Australians identify as victims of poverty of affection. “You’re right Dan, this is an issue. But what could we possibly hope to do about it?” We’re lucky these days. Social media, despite its shortcomings, grants us the capacity

to connect with others in ways never dreamed of in past centuries. We can be virtually present with a friend in seconds, and can sponsor a child in minutes. Acts of generosity are practically waiting to be given, mass-produced opportunities readily available for our sharing. How do we properly confront poverty in our everyday lives? Commit to a charitable cause, but not just because you feel the need to. There is such a wide range of organisations eager to receive generous support, each specialising in diverse forms of social justice. Find one that means something to you, and invest with care and kindness. Sponsor a friend taking up the Live Below the Line challenge, or better still, pledge to participate yourself. Tackling poverty of affection is less straightforward, as money and awareness raising cannot fix everything. But presence does. Get coffee with a friend you’ve been worrying about, or someone you haven’t seen in a while. Be present. Laugh and shout them a muffin. Conversations can change lives. Imagine being the one who changes someone else’s for the better. So can we really complain and say “I can’t make a difference”? You can, and as a global citizen and member of the human race, it is your duty to care. Take pride in being an advocate for positive change. We need more of them around to make the world a better place.

Would you like some whale with that? Emi Doi

“If you’re part Japanese, why are you so bad at maths?” “How many hours do your parents make you practice piano per day?” “Have you ever eaten whale?” Above are just a few of the comments I have received – some more regularly than others – living as a Japanese-Australian in Tasmania. Though these kinds of questions were ones I was asked more frequently during primary and high school, I am still asked variations of them today as a 19-year-old university student. Just the other day I was interviewing an old man, who asked after the interview, “so where are you from?” I have learnt that answering such questions with “I am from Hobart”, or “I am Australian” never really cuts it, and 98% of the time is followed with, “yeah, but where are you from?” Now I jump straight to the response of, “I am Australian, but my father is Japanese.” This always seems to be a satisfactory reply, and is met more often than you might expect, even from secondary school teachers, with responses like “ahh, I could tell because of your eyes!”

mother and my Japanese father. I have always identified as an Australian; I have lived in Australia my entire life, my native tongue is English and my Japanese language skills are ‘survival’ at best. But despite the fact that I have never lived in Japan and I do not really speak Japanese, I still feel that my identity as a “haafu” has significantly shaped my life experience. Growing up, ‘slant eye’ gestures from kids on the back of the school bus and jeering from drunken strangers about how I should go back to “ching chong China” never really phased me – it’s hard to take offence from insults that are ill-informed, misguided, and just kind of blatantly ignorant. A response to such jibes is a waste of energy and I usually feel a resigned sense of “whatever.” It was actually the more common misconceptions about Asians* that dominated my school experience. Throughout school I felt an immense pressure to live up to expectations about what I should be due to my Japanese background, both within myself and from the people around me. I remember being in high school mathematics and having a substitute teacher ask me – “your dad is a Jap isn’t he? You should be better at this!”

I am what Japanese people commonly refer to as a “haafu”, or what Australians way less frequently refer to as a “halfie” – an individual that is bi-racial, mixed ethnic heritage, mongrel half-breed, slanty-eyed bastard, descending down into increasingly insulting rings of ignorance.

It was said with a laugh, but as the saying goes, ‘many a true word spoken in jest’. I myself have applied the occasional Asian stereotype for cheap laughs like “I ruv rice,” or paltry excuses such as, “I can’t hold my drink because I am Asian.” Early self-deprecation is the best defence. It’s like a preemptive strike: while everyone is distracted by the joke, I hope they don’t notice that I can’t actually hold my alcohol.

I was born and raised in Tasmania by my Launcestonian

The assumption that I was supposed to excel at math-

Good deduction, Sherlock.

Opinion

“Unconscious bias continues to relegate Asians to the status of nerds, but not leaders.”

force of cultural and bureaucratic power that impedes

ematics and be Grade 8 AMEB standard in any musical instrument, preferably piano or violin… but definitely not percussion, probably contributed to the stress I felt about receiving anything less than an A on an assignment or test, and not being able to sight read music.

The point being, belonging to the “model-minority” can be

In other words I chose to apply the “Asian Fail” standard, i.e. that anything less than straight A’s (even A-) is a failure, to myself, by myself, though not through any pressure from my Japanese father. Though no doubt quietly proud, his approach to my academic achievements was mild mannered to the point of indifference. On the rare occasion of his attendance at an awards ceremony or a music performance, he sought leave to exit early, perhaps due to his shyness but more likely, I suspected, in despair about the mediocrity of the performance standard compared to Japan. So why do these misconceptions about “being Asian” matter? Putting aside the annoying questions and stereotyped assumptions, the myth of the “model minority” has more subtle, but damaging consequences. The model minority concept works to exclude Asian-Australians from leadership roles in government, industry, and bureaucracy. Myths about Asians being hard-working, overachieving, and non-confrontational appear almost flattering but actually work to restrict the Asian “model minority” to certain areas of public life. It is okay to be a scientist, a doctor, a dentist, a pianist, an I.T. professional or an engineer, but allowing Asian-Australians into leadership roles requires penetration of the “bamboo-ceiling,” the invisible

professional advancement into government and industry positions of influence (Penny Wong is the exception here, not the rule). Unconscious bias continues to relegate Asians to the status of nerds, but not leaders.

a massive drag. It can lead the humanities brain up the garden path towards a STEM future - which may not be a bad thing in the end, but can amount to a denial of natural instinct or inclination. But I’m not complaining. Being a haafu is nothing like the burden of belonging to a “problem” minority. I’m not at risk of racial profiling, except where the crime involves the burglary of a rice cooker or an expensive violin. “How do you know if an Asian tried to rob your house?” “You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded and they are still trying to back out of the driveway.” Also, I don’t eat whale. I never have. Asking a Japanese person if they eat whale is like asking a Chinese person if they eat dog. It’s awkward. Don’t do it. – *Asia is the largest continent, and is home to 48 different countries. The stereotypes and misconceptions referred to in this article concern mainly countries from East Asia. Think of it as the entire population of China – nearly 1.4 billion – referring to “Westerners” as a cohort (meaning of course anyone that looks like a “whitey”).

Elise Sweeney

Bevan Lovejoy

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When the Migraine Attacks what you may think you know but actually don’t Steph Morrison

If you do not suffer from migraines, then you do not know the pain. I have suffered from migraines for the past 15 years, but although I have been to numerous specialists, undergone what felt like every test known to man, and tried various medications, the episodes I was experiencing were only diagnosed as migraines late last year. One of the reasons for this is that they do not present themselves in the way that most people think. I’ve had headaches of various types and degrees of severity. ‘Traditional’ migraines too, where nausea and blurred vision accompanied the splitting headache that made it impossible to do anything but curl up in a dark and silent room. Although I knew that everyone has had different experiences when it comes to illnesses, migraines included, it had never occurred to me just how different and varied those experiences and symptoms could be. It definitely didn’t occur to me that I could have more than one type of migraine. Unfortunately, there are many myths and misconceptions that contribute to the negative stigma associated with migraine sufferers. Here are some of the more common ones. It’s just a bad headache. Umm… No. While a migraine can include a headache of various severities, it doesn’t always. If there is a headache involved, it is not always the predominant symptom either - this is one of the reasons they can be hard to diagnose. Other symptoms include: fatigue, irritability, sen-

sitivity to light, sound, and smell, difficulty concentrating or forming words, paralysis, blurred vision and other sensory dysfunctions, pain, nausea, vertigo, and dizziness the list goes on. A migraine is so much more than just a bad headache. It is a neurological disorder. Migraines don’t last for days, and nobody has a migraine every day. The word “migraine” actually refers to the diagnosis of a neurological disorder. Many professionals used labels such as “episode” or “attack” to describe the symptoms that manifest, but sometimes it is just easier to refer to them as migraines. Patients can suffer from one, a few, or many migraine “attacks” throughout their lives, or they can have daily ones. At my worst, I was suffering from migraine symptoms every couple of days. The typical “attack” can last from 4 to 72 hours, and they can last longer. Sometimes, they can last days, weeks, or even months. While the symptoms themselves can be debilitating, I know I would be wiped out for the next few days at least, partially thanks to the stress and energy spent getting through it. It’s not a migraine without an aura. An aura refers to a set of symptoms that may occur before the development of an intense headache during an attack. They’re often visual, but can also appear in other forms of sensory, motor, or verbal disturbance. While not everybody is aware of the association between migraines and auras, HeadacheMD and blogs on

Health

“The word ‘migraine’ actually refers to the diagnosis of a neurological disorder. Many professionals used labels such as ‘episode’ or ‘attack’ to describe the symptoms that manifest, but sometimes it is just easier to refer to them as migraines.”

migraine.com list it as a top and persistent myth, once people do know. In fact, less than 30 per cent of migraine sufferers experience auras. Additionally, those that do get them, don’t necessarily experience them with every attack. From personal experience, I also know it can be hard for the migraine sufferer to identify whether they have an aura or not.

Migraines are limited to adults and women.

Any physician can diagnose and effectively treat migraines.

cant trigger, however, it is not the cause. Experts do not

The migraine is one of the most under-recognised, underdiagnosed, and undertreated disorders. According to the World Health Organisation, this is primarily due to the lack of education and training among health-care providers. In my personal experience, they can also be misdiagnosed and mistreated because of this. A lot of doctors, including specialists, do not know what to look for. It has also been mentioned that, unfortunately, many do not take migraines seriously.

graines.

A specialist may be good to see about a diagnosis and treatment, especially for an illness that could be slightly more complicated than your GP feels comfortable dealing with. However, specialists operate within this very neat little box, and rarely venture outside of it. They often do not even consider that you might be suffering from something else, outside of their little box. So, it is important to make sure that you see the right specialist for any illness you might have - note that not all neurologists are migraine specialists and not all migraine specialists are neurologists.

month. A migraine is not a psychological or psychiatric

Although it is less common, men and children also suffer from migraines. I had my first attack when I was 11. Neurologists have found adult women outnumber men sufferers 3 to 1, but boys and girls experience migraines equally until puberty. Estrogen is known to be a signifiyet know what actually causes a person to develop mi-

Migraines are caused by psychological factors such as stress and depression. Stress is a common trigger, but, just like estrogen, it does not actually cause migraines. Many people with migraines are calm and easy-going, and manage stress quite well, but will still suffer attacks many times each disorder, but one which results from biological and physiological alterations. I’m pretty sure that in my case, my migraine attacks cause more stress. This list is by no means exhaustive, there are many myths and misconceptions that surround migraines and the attacks that the disorder causes. Everyone’s experience is different but I hope this helps people gain a little bit more of an understanding.

Coffee Five misconceptions about the elixir of writing an assignment the day before it’s due. Joey Crawford

We all (well, most of us), like a good cup of coffee. Whether it’s the deconstructed almond latte (say inner city Melbourne hipster), the iced coffee (tradie), or the skinny latte (middle-aged businessperson), it’s amazing how we’ve come to understand some bizarre facts about our favourite blend. Allow me to deconstruct a couple of them.

Two. Coffee can help in weight loss. So, 100 milligrams of caffeine - between half and a full 8oz coffee - burns up to 100 calories a day from the metabolism boost it offers. So, in theory, it sounds like a great idea. But, a study of 58,000 people over 12 years (that’s a lot of Brazilian and Colombian workers employed by the way), show that most people who increased their caffeine intake ended up putting on weight compared to those who maintained or decreased caffeine intake. Sorry to those health fanatics that justify their coffee, pre-workout, or Red Bull for its weight loss.

One. Coffee is bad for you. If thirty cups of a triple-shot grande cappuccino is your thing, then it’s probably bad for you. Wait, that is definitely bad for you. In moderation though, it’s a different story. The Mayo Clinic Studies have linked reduced chance of Parkinson’s disease, multiple sclerosis, liver disease, and liver cancer to moderate coffee intake. So, you want to give up coffee because it’s bad for you? Well, don’t. Moderation, by the way, equals three to four cups a day.

The issue with drinking coffee is rarely the caffeine, but all the extra stuff we add. You know that person that takes four sugars with their coffee? A standard 8oz coffee can have 120 calories and seven grams of fat with fullcream milk, or 70 calories with skim-milk (not including the added sugar). Almond milk is lower in calories (60), but also far higher in being fun-free, lower in protein, and calcium. To help you out, a person having four cups of coffee a day (full-cream milk and two sugars) downs about 760 calories a day, or about 38 per cent of your daily intake. Ouch. Cutting the two sugars puts us down to 24 per cent. Switching to almond milk halves that 24 to a 12.

Four. Afternoon coffee will keep you awake at night.

This one is believed by a lot of people. After a good hangover, a coffee always seems to make me feel better. It sounds logical, right? Metabolism booster plus alcohol means that the said alcohol is processed faster? Sorry to say, that’s wrong.

Caffeine stimulates, right? But, unless your liver enjoys a catnap in the afternoon, then most coffee should disappear from your system within four to seven hours. A coffee at 3pm is gone by that 10pm bedtime. Wait, what am I talking about, no University student sleeps at 10pm. Not when there are so many episodes of House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, or 13 Reasons Why to binge on Netflix.

It can probably make you feel worse Sunday 11am, face down on your deck table cursing silently at the sun for being so bright. Caffeine can dehydrate, which is really not what anyone needs after a night out. It also makes you feel more awake and alert whilst crumping in the corner of Mobius at 4am on a Sunday morning. Maybe it makes you feel like you’re slurring less when trying to meet potential ‘friends’ at 2am in Lonnies. But, the truth is, that it does little to sober anyone up. It just makes us feel that way. We are also far more likely to do stupid things whilst loaded on espresso martinis or vodka Red Bulls than if we drink alcohol alone. One such study shows that we are far more likely to get in a car with a drunk driver if we have combined alcohol and caffeine.

Have a coffee a 5pm, sleep at 12am - if you like an early bedtime. Five. The truth. Coffee helps studying. Well, this is not a misconception, but it’s here anyway. Read on. Whilst coffee cannot do much for your waistline, fails to fix hangovers or sober anyone up, it can help us study if we consume it right, that is. Coffee can help increase focus and concentration, enhance our ability to retain information, increase alertness, and enhance mood, or so Nestle says. They’d never bend the truth right? They’ve got nothing to gain from increase coffee demand, right? Don’t worry though, Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore backs them up in one of their studies using 200 milligram caffeine pills (equivalent to one or two coffees).

Just remember, that there is a ‘golden mean’ to caffeine consumption. This is how much caffeine we are likely to intake. • • • • • • • •

1oz Cappuccino – 235 mg (approx. 156 mg for 8oz) No-Doz – 200 mg per tablet 8oz Red Bull – 80 mg (but these have far more than caffeine to pump you up) Nespresso pod coffee – 50-80 mg 12oz McDonald’s Cappuccino – 71 mg (approx. 48 mg for 8oz) 8oz Black tea – 47 mg 12oz Coca-Cola – 34 mg (approx. 23 mg for 8oz) 8oz Green tea – 29mg

Caffeinate. Study. Rinse. Repeat.

Opinion

Three. Coffee can sober you up and fixes hangovers.

Media Misconceptions about Serial Killers Logan Linkston

“Perhaps it is our primal fascination that ultimately glorifies serial killers. The misinterpretation of their personality traits and intelligence capabilities on television creates a false stereotype of these criminals.” It is difficult to argue that the world we live in isn’t obsessed with crime. More specifically, a decent percentage of the world is obsessed with serial killers. Park Dietz, a forensic psychiatrist and consultant for the FBI’s Behavioural Science Unit said, “The media help disseminate the message that it’s good to be a serial killer… There are rewards to such violent behaviour - loyal fans, marriage proposals, splashy headlines.” Is it the media’s fascination to put a face to the faceless, predatory and senseless crimes? Jack the Ripper and H.H. Holmes are just two infamous examples. Think about it, serial killers are immortalised in popular culture. Silence of the Lambs is an Academy-Award winning film and David Schmid, author of Natural Born Celebrities says Hannibal Lecter is seen as the more “acceptable” serial killer when compared with Buffalo Bill. Is it because he is an educated psychiatrist that helps catch Buffalo Bill? Is it because he’s witty? This misconception

somehow creates the idea that just because a serial killer is smart or funny or attractive, they are somehow less threatening or somehow become less than who they truly are. Schmid mentions how serial killers become famous simply for being themselves, similar to Kim Kardashian and the Kardashian family in a mainstream context. Case in point, Hannibal Lecter is now a modern cultural icon. Dexter is an entire television show based on a vigilante serial killer. However, because he kills those guilty of murder, is perceived as the protagonist and his killings are justified. In the same way as Hannibal Lecter, Dexter is seen as an acceptable serial killer perhaps because of his high intelligence and desire to remove dangerous people from the streets of Miami. It is made known in Dexter’s backstory that he previously had shown psychological traits of wanting to kill but his adoptive father encouraged him to channel that urge into vigilante justice. The glorification of serial killers can be seen in multiple crime television shows such as the CSI franchise, Bones, The Mentalist and Criminal Minds. Often, it is here where the major misconceptions happen. The serial killer is perceived as being uber-intelligent and overly-capable in their crimes. Often in the interrogation process, we see the criminal is portrayed as being superior to the investigators because of their intelligence. The first serial killer introduced in Bones was Howard Epps, who was nicknamed “The Manipulator” because of his significantly high IQ of 180. Similarly, in Criminal Minds, Peter Lewis “Mr. Scratch” is a math genius with a high intelligence level that has managed to evade arrest by the Behavioural Analysis Unit for upwards of three years. The

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misconception of the superior serial killer is perpetrated by television shows perhaps because it creates a better story. Professor Schmid also says the audience has a constant desire to access the criminal’s whole personality. The world seems to need to know the answer to the basic question of “why?”. Why did this person do these terrible things? It can be found not only in fictional crime but also in the staggering amount of serial killer documentaries. The true crime recounts invoke both the fascination and the repulsion of the audience. Everyone is asking the question, “What makes serial killers tick” but with their eyes tightly shut. Professor Schmid says it is this that motivates production companies to compete for the rights of these criminals’ stories. Ted Bundy, an infamous American serial killer has a documentary based on his 30 confessions of murder called Ted Bundy: The Mind of a Killer. Jeffrey Dahmer, has multiple documentaries which look at his life and crimes, including The Jeffrey Dahmer Files. The obsession continues to grow and we see it emerging beyond the crime television network and into platforms like Netflix which streams documentaries on serial killers such as Aileen Wuornos and H.H. Holmes. Perhaps it is our primal fascination that ultimately glorifies serial killers. The misinterpretation of their personality traits and intelligence capabilities on television creates a false stereotype of these criminals. The stories of Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy are often the exception to the rule, which is why they make incredible stories. Jeffrey Dahmer had a reported IQ of 145. According to Natural

Born Celebrities, Ted Bundy had a BA in psychology, an IQ of 136, and provided psychological profiles to police investigators on other serial killers. Both of these men had intelligence levels above the genius mark and this is equivalent to the depictions on television shows. But, there are many others who do not fit that profile. Gary Ridgway confessed to taking the lives of 71 women on the United States’ East Coast, and he confessed immediately to his crimes when apprehended. He had an IQ of 86, which is way below average intelligence. There was no superiority when it came to relations with the police. Is there a logical connection between the lives of Ted Bundy, Gary Ridgway and Jeffrey Dahmer? Maybe it is not as simple as bad people doing bad things, or monsters on the loose. Is this why the media and the world readily accept stereotypes and profiles? Because the human mind and what drives someone to commit serial offenses isn’t simple? Which in turn makes it scarier and harder to understand. Bob Dekle, former Florida assistant state attorney said, “People think a criminal is a hunchbacked, cross-eyed little monster slithering through the dark, leaving a trail of slime. They’re human beings.” Ted Bundy himself said, “The experts refuse to perceive me as being even remotely - you know, anything that approaches being normal.” Unlike television shows, news coverage, documentaries and movies portray, David Schmid says these criminals are normal, everyday people, with a tear in their psyche.

Imagine not being able to write properly, pronounce words the right way, or carry out physical movement. Imagine finding it difficult to understand spatial relationships, and lacking good social skills despite having an average or above-average intelligence.

Living with Dyspraxia Callum J Jones

This is what people who suffer from dyspraxia deal with on a daily basis. They’re born with the condition, and never grow out of it. There’s no cure. The cause is uncertain. Most experts think that genetics triggers it. According to understood.org, some scientists and researchers suspect that it’s caused by a problem with the nerve cells that send signals from the brain to muscles; others believe that prematurely-born children, or children with low birth weights might be born with it. Others also propose that those who are exposed to alcohol in the womb may be born with dyspraxia. It’s a common condition, with about six to ten percent of children displaying signs. But it isn’t as well-known as other conditions like dyslexia. I was diagnosed with it when I was a toddler. Growing up with it was extremely hard. I was often subjected to teasing and bullying, mainly because of my inability to say words properly. Until Grade 7, I couldn’t tie my shoelaces. I had to go through a lot of physio and speech therapy while I was in kindergarten and primary school to help me improve. But to this day, I still have trouble pronouncing certain words and nouns. It still takes me longer than most to handwrite things, as I occasionally experience difficulty in forming letters. It also takes a long time for me to tie my shoelaces, which is why I prefer slip-on shoes – they save time if I’m in a rush. Because of the symptoms of dyspraxia, it’s easy for people to think that those who suffer from it are “dumb.” There is no evidence that the condition causes people to have low intelligence. I take comfort in the fact that I’m not alone. My family is amazing, and my friends accept me for who I am. Even though I don’t personally know anyone else who has dyspraxia, I know a few celebrities who have it, including Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter from the Harry Potter movies) and Cara Delevingne (Margo from the Paper Towns). It just goes to show that no-one is ever truly alone in this big, wide world.

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We look forward to hearing from you!

Council Report Clark Cooley, President Originally a student led project of Exeter University Student Guild in the UK, the Never OK campaign has become a significant project of the TUU in 2017. The campaign aims to provide a student led voice on the idea that everyone has the right to live, study, and work in a safe and supportive environment and that sexual harassment and assault is Never OK. Harassment and assault can happen on campus, in bars, on public transport, or online. Sexual harassment and assault can come from a complete stranger or from someone you know well. Most harassment and assault is unreported. Some people feel embarrassed, or think that they wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be taken seriously. We believe that you should never have to put up with sexual harassment or assault. You should never be made to feel uncomfortable by another individual. Recently the campaign has continued to gain national notoriety with a number of student led groups actively working on their own versions of the campaign, developing campus specific projects. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve worked with these partners to develop a range of new resources including our new website, social media, and new campaign materials. I encourage those interested to sign up at neverok.org

Dan Probert, Campus President North Throughout the semester, myself and SRC North have tried to settle into a regular routine of events and meetings. On the events front, we have been especially pleased with the events we ran to celebrate Easter with the Imaginations group, and semester one Mamak Night in conjunction with the Malaysian Student Society. We are also very happy to be able to provide free buses and a wreath to help northern students commemorate ANZAC Day. As the end of semester approaches, we have a number of exciting events coming up, most notably our collaboration with the Muslim Student Society to help them celebrate their holy month of Ramadan. We have also commenced planning for semester two (Dis)Orientation Week. Your representatives continue to represent you on a number of important university committees. We have been communicating with the University with regards to a number of your concerns, including access to computers, the inadequacy of the furniture in many places, and the lack of quiet study areas around campus. As always, we love to hear from you, so if you have any ideas, feel free to pop into our Launceston contact centre and say hello to our friendly receptionist, Lisa. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forget that we provide a range of services to northern students, including financial assistance, and counselling. Good luck with your exam preparation, and enjoy a wellearned break afterwards! I want to congratulate societies on a lot of great events so far!

Maria Daglas, Campus President South

In addition to student representation we are also here to provide you with an enjoyable university experience. Hopefully you have seen us pop up around the Hobart campuses a little this semester. Keep an eye out for more events in semester 2, we have some big ones coming up! Don’t forget to make use of the facilities provided in the TUU building. We have a women’s room, queer room and parenting room for you, we also have kitchen facilities and multiple study spaces. Good luck with exams and assessments, take care and don’t forget we are here for you. Love TUU SRC South xxx

Cathy Walker, Campus President Cradle Coast Cradle Coast SRC have had a busy month on campus, we now have a full SRC with the appointment of our new postgrad representative Puspa Sherlock, who is already proving to be a valuable asset to our team. Events during April and May have included: •

Easter egg guessing competition, with an exact guess by the lovely Desiree.

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Earth Day activities, free soup for lunch and DIY vegetable soup packs.

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Introduction of Breakfast club supplies, there are now no excuses for missing out on a healthy breakfast at Cradle Coast.

TUU

Yo fam, we hope you’ll have been well and not too stressed out by university life. If you are feeling under pressure come talk to us and we can try make you feel less so. Semester One has been an interesting and fun and educational time for us in the TUU. We are all passionate, we all care and we all are trying to do our best to represent you. We love input from any and all students, so never be afraid to speak to us about something you feel strongly about.

Vivi Perry, Societies President Every week I hear of new exciting activities that are being put on, and also the wonderful feedback I receive from students! One of the major things that past students talk about is their time spent in societies, and I think that this year we are in a really good spot to show this. Whether it’s holding workshop and career related seminars, first year camps, employment days, and even day trips, there are always things to get involved in that enrich you beyond the social and academic areas! I would also like to congratulate everyone involved with University Mental Health and Wellbeing Day - I know that quite a few societies put on events on this day. In fact, the whole week was full of activities that got students out of their books and into places where they could get into a good headspace, showing people that it’s not just about the grades at uni, it’s the whole experience! (As I’m sure many of you agree) Speaking of University experience, in the lead up to Easter break, many of our societies have put on their massive events and performances, which I’m sure many of you attended and had a wonderful experience at. I know I’ve been hard pressed to make it to all of them! It’s amazing how it’s the work of (volunteering!) students that put on such events, how they devote their time, energy and passion into putting on these spectacular endeavours for the benefit of all students! And as always, there’s always something in a society for you (or you could just make your own!) So come to myself or Ingrid for any information.

Our events continue to see excellent student engagement, with lots of positive feedback which assists us with the provision of future events and services.

Jessica Robinson, Education President Something I am really passionate about are student spaces. I believe in the ability for a learning space to be more than just a desk and chair, and want to be able to create and provide learning spaces that students want to spend time in and that facilitate enjoyable learning experiences. So far the TUU team have opened up the ground floor space in the Northern TUU building for students to relax and recharge in. While there has been significant attention devoted to the delivery of spaces in general, there has been increased interest in supporting the development of libraries and computing labs. The next step has been to open up more classrooms for extended learning hours so as to provide spaces for students to learn that are not the generic computer labs. The enthusiasm of students and staff about the expansion of spaces and the vision of student engagement with it have been fantastic. The flexibility of the learning spaces both present and envisioned are important. Students acknowledge that their needs for spaces differ throughout the semester. This only reinforces the need for staff to think about the ways in which spaces are utilized and designed, in order to best accommodate student needs during the various times of the year.

Joey Crawford, Postgraduate President The Postgraduate Council (PGC) is kicking goals, with a number of outstanding activities this quarter. Firstly, Graham Gourlay and Sanaz Jahangiri have led four morning teas across Launceston and Hobart, tackling the isolation of graduate research head on. Our engagement with NYPN has continued with three well-attended industry networking events in Launceston, with plans for a similar enterprise in Hobart. Ellen Manning, our resident distance Postgrad, has established a weekly Hobart Shut up and Write Session (Monday 10-12pm, Physics 328 with Gaby Tregurtha). We are hoping to have a similar program running in Launceston. We have funded, alongside the People and Environment Cross-disciplinary Postgraduate Society (PECS), a fully booked one week writing retreat from May 22 to May 26 for postgrads across Tasmania and a few national UTAS students. Along with Dan Probert (Campus President North) and our Postgraduate Advocate Megan Albion, I launched the Postgraduate Student Experience Survey on May 4, and have already amassed several hundred responses. Our newly elected Cradle Coast Representative, Puspa Sherlock, is preparing for exciting things for Cradle Coast postgrads. Arno Dubois, is leading the charge on the establishment of a cross-campus Postgraduate Society, which will continue to strengthen the networks in the postgraduate community. All-in-all, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been busy. But weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not even close to stopping yet. We meet every month, and our Secretary Sarah Young can provide you details of our times and locations if you would like to observe a meeting. Just remember to email and let her know you will be coming. E: Sarah.Young@utas.edu.au. If you are not on the UTAS Postgraduate Forum group, please look it up on Facebook and join in on our conversation! Postgraduates are often considered the least satisfied with their time at University, and we intend to change that. One coffee, writing session, and conversation at a time.

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