To Love Again Ministries
Inspire
Issue #12
October 2012
Credits Content October 2012
Founder & Editor Kimberly Borst
Writers
Surrender Now
4
Our Christian Heritage
6
Pool of Reflection
8
Sarah Williamson Leilah Wright Debra Lilly Mary Corey Kimberly Borst Chrissie Hasenohrl
Editing Allen Porter
The Harvest Table
10
Keep it Clean & Simple
12
Uniquely Designed and Mixed (Part Two)
14
Photography Glacier Tim - Cover Kimberly Borst Debra Lilly Ruth Baigorria
Design Kimberly Borst Copyright Š To Love Again Ministries 2012
To Love Again Ministries Pick of the month This month we are highlighting a Book called
Revealing Heaven
By Kat Kerr You can find it on Amazon. The book gives a perspective of heaven that makes it real on a whole new level. It honors God and His word. My kids giggled with delight as heaven was unfolded before them. I would recommend skipping the parts on hell for young children. It is a great read and revelation of Gods’ love. Kimberly
Surrender Now Sarah Williamson
Surrender has never been a strong suit of mine. If the art of stubbornly holding on to everything were an Olympic sport I would take the gold every time no problem. Looking back I have truly never surrendered anything in my life. I am the first born, and therefore have felt completely responsible for everything that happens anywhere. When I needed to take charge, I took charge! ...And when I didn’t need to take charge I took charge! I couldn’t relinquish my leadership in fear that someone wouldn’t do as thorough a job as I. How completely selfish and egotistical does that sound? Why couldn’t I give in? Why couldn’t I surrender everything?
My husband and I are both youth directors of a local church. I had never so much as taken a fleeting glance at the principles of surrender until one of our worship sessions when my husband spoke about the idea of lifting our hands in surrender. What a vulnerable gesture. When the police catch criminals, the first thing they tell them to do is to put their hands in the
air. When the perpetrator puts his hands in the air he is effectively expressing through this motion that all weapons are dropped--no further action will be taken to stop the will of justice. Once surrendered, there is nowhere else to turn and nothing left to do. The application of that analogy is overwhelming. When we lift our hands to God and say this is it! I’m done! We are releasing our own plans for our lives. We are telling God, “I’m not running anymore, I’m here, I’m ready! I did a less than admirable job taking my life into my own hands. It is your turn.”
I have experienced such a huge sense of pride when it comes to my life. I always start out with good intentions; I begin with praying about everything and asking for advice. Then, like a stereotypical product of my generation when I don’t get answers or visions in the sky right away, I move on to what I assume God would probably say if I had the time and patience to listen. Too often we assume that God just wants us to live and learn and get on with our lives. Part of walking with God is in fact
exercising our free will to live in his grace and forgiveness, but honestly how can we expect to grow in our walks with God if we don’t allow him time to speak into our lives and guide us. The forgiveness and grace part of our walk with God shouldn’t be used as a safety net, but as a tool to grow our confidence so that we can put every ounce of trust we have left where it was supposed to go in the first place, AND surrender.
Most of my realizations lately have come with deep reflection. I find that as I plan lessons with my husband for our youth group my eyes have been opened to the flaws that I once felt comfortable with. My lack of trust in God’s perfect will for my life has been a difficult path. I thought by saying “It’s cool God you can sit this one out.” I was really doing myself and God a favor, but in the end I put myself through hell because I didn’t have the humility to tell God that I needed him to step in and take over. Only when we surrender everything can we start receiving the blessings that were intended for us all along.
Our Christian Heritage Leilah Wright As the time for the presidential elections grows ever near, I wanted to touch on our country's spiritual heritage.
Yes, we do have a spiritual heritage, despite what many vocal people and groups would have us believe. Our country was founded by people who were seeking God. Yes, some of the immigrants I am sure came simply for a new land, a new life; but those that we call our founders were believers. If you have the opportunity, please read Washington's Prayer Journal. He wrote this when he was 20 years old, every morning and every evening. It has blessed me beyond what I would have thought. "O Lord, I beseech thee, from whatever is offensive to thee, and hurtful to me, and give me what is convenient for me. Watch over me this night, and give me comfortable and sweet sleep to fit me for the service of the day following. Let my soul watch for the coming of the Lord Jesus; let my bed put me in mind of my grave, and my rising from there of my last resurrection; O heavenly Father, so frame this heart of mine, that I may ever delight to live according to thy will and command, in holiness and righteousness before thee all the days of my life. Let me remember, O Lord, the time will come when the trumpet shall
sound, and the dead shall rise and stand before the judgment seat, and give an account of whatever they have done in the body, and let me so prepare my soul, that I may do it with joy and not with grief. Bless the rulers and people of this land and forget not those who are under any affliction or oppression."
Reading this it is impossible to ignore the fact that George Washington loved and feared our Lord. I love "that I may ever delight to live according to thy will and command." Following the Lord should not be drudgery for us. Praying isn't something that we have to do; it's something that we get to do. The very same God that created the entire universe, that created each individual molecule, listens to us when we pray. He wants us to pour out our hearts to Him! Let's do that now.
Father, we thank you for listening to us, for being there for us! Thank you for the spiritual heritage we have here. It is so sad to see how far our country has strayed. Help us to constantly and consistently pray for our nation and its leaders past, present, and future. Bless each of us this week. Provide us with time to spend alone with You, and also with opportunities to share our faith with others, because we know the time is short. Thank you!
If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14 (NIV)
Pool of Reflection Debra Lilly Debra Lilly
But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit. II Cor. 3:18. (NASV) A ‘pool of reflection’ is needed to ‘see’ ourselves for what we really are. It’s not a physical reflection of ourselves like the one we would see in a physical mirror, but a spiritual reflection. When we look into this pool and see our reflection, it won’t look like ‘us’, but a new creation. Jesus said, “When you have seen me, you have seen the Father.” What does Christ look like? He looks like the attributes of God’s divine nature! He thinks and speaks as the Father, as being ONE with Him. What do we look like? We are to be transformed into the image of Christ. That means we will change from what we are, being transformed from glory to glory, to look and think and act like Christ.
To Love again Ministries Visit our website for more encouragement for women! God has an amazing plan for your life and we want to help you find it. Toloveagainministries.org
The Harvest Table Mary Corey When I visualize the harvest table it is the hub of a family, where we gather to share the rewards of our labor. Many of us adorn our own table with a seasonal center piece, maybe fresh spring flowers, summer fruits, fall leaves, squash and nuts, winter greens, or berries and bows. In my mind I depict God at the center of a family unit and all the seasons of our lives. The dinner table is a great opportunity to bring our families together, after the flurry of the day. When everyone is going in different directions, living out their own lives separately from the family unit, this meal gives an opportunity to draw them all back to what is important (the hub). This can be a feat in itself but oh the rewards are great for all to reap of the bounty. It’s a time of laughter and sharing with one another, the unfolding of our lives throughout the day. Ultimately this time brings us closer and renews the spirit for tomorrow. And at the center of it all we remember the one who gave His life and His abounding love before each meal. The family that prays together stays together.
There cannot be enough said about the importance of everyone in the household, no matter what age or stage in their lives, being present for this great event of the day. It strengthens the family bond. It brings us to know each other as true individuals who experience life in very different ways with unique hopes and dreams. Having input from others who love us can give us a whole new perspective. We can share our expectations of each ones responsibility within the family so that everyone’s needs are met and there is no grumbling or misunderstandings. We are all servants first to our Father in Heaven and secondly to others, which ultimately prepares us to be great husbands, wives, mothers, and fathers, on this earth until His coming.
No man left behind! After this time of sustenance of body, soul, and mind let no man be left behind. As a family we honor one another by sharing in the cleanup of the entire kitchen, every detail, down to the last dish, crumb swept, and trash taken out. To end a day in this way adds to the sweet slumber of night for all and the readiness to take on the day to come.
12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the a bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Col. 3:12-17 (KJV)
Keep it Clean & Simple Kimberly Borst Laundry can feel unending, a constant barrage of clothes. Here are a couple of tricks to keep it under control.
Quantity is key; too many articles of clothing will not make your job easier. Each person should have only a little over a week worth of clothing plus a couple formals. Put up clothes that are out of season. Children are regularly changing sizes, so try to keep up with clearing out clothing that is too small.
Keeping up: There are two methods that I have found that work well for doing laundry. The first is a day designated for laundry. All laundry is washed separated and put away the same day. The second is a load a day, where laundry is processed most of the week. With a large family a daily load may be more practical. Detergent: I prefer liquid laundry soap. It leaves less residue on clothes and can be used directly on spots as a pretreatment. It works particularly well to lift oils. I keep a stain treatment list on the cupboard door in the laundry room, for a quick reference. Bleach is good to keep on hand to boost whites. Add a ¼ cup of bleach for a large load of whites. Bleach also kills germs.
Separating: Start by separating darks, lights, jeans, and delicates for individual loads. If you don’t have a lot of clothes that need to be done, a light and a dark load will do. Check for stains and treat them. Don’t over fill your washer or clothes
won’t get as clean. For a large load fill your washer ¾ full of clothes, medium loads are ½ full and small are about ¼ full.
Water Temperature: Cold water is best for colors that are prone to bleed, delicates and protein stains. Hot water kills germs, mites, bacteria, and removes most stains. Keep in mind hot water can shrink and fade clothes. Hot water is great for sheets, towels, dish clothes and whites. I use warm to wash and cold to rinse most of our clothes. Sort: Sorting and folding are best done right away to prevent wrinkling. I learned a long time ago to sort clothes for kids over 5 and let them fold them and put them away. They would have every item unfolded before they got to their rooms.
Kids: When kids hit 12 to 13 they can start doing their own laundry. Teaching them how to do laundry is beneficial for them and you. It gives them selfconfidence that they can care for their own clothes and skills they will need in the future. Everyone in our house has their own laundry basket. With older children they can have their own day to do their laundry. A schedule will keep things flowing nicely in the laundry room. I still do a load of clothes for my kids from time to time, but my goal is to well equip my children to be adults.
Stain Guide Chocolate Prewash with an enzyme product in warm water by hand, then wash as usual. Deodorants Apply liquid laundry soap and wash. Grass pre-soak in an enzyme solution, rinse and wash. Gum Ice the gum till it is hard, scrape with a dull knife, saturate with a prewash stain remover and wash. Ink Dab with alcohol using a paper towel, till the ink is gone, rinse and wash. (Alcohol also can remove permanent marker on walls. Note it can also remove paint.) Mud Let it dry and scrape of as much dirt off as possible, apply liquid laundry soap and wash. Oils Apply liquid laundry soap and wash with as hot of water as the fabric can tolerate. Wax Scrape off as much as possible. Place fabric between paper towels and iron with a warm iron, changing paper towels frequently. Dab with a prewash stain remover and wash.
Uniquely Designed and Mixed Part Two We’ll start at the top and I will reference as much as I can so you can begin your own journey to discovery. It is so freeing! I want to emphasize that, though we will cover these personalities and you should be able to identify and improve relationships with all members of your family, the intent of these articles is to learn how to become that help-meet that our wise Lord God designed us to be! A quick note: personalities are flexible. As a person matures, their personality will morph with them. I believe this is one way God grows us up into the people He needs to fulfill the role He designed for our lives. Sometimes we mature into the personality God has placed in us, sometimes as we mature the personality will dim a bit and another aspect may become more prominent.
The most obvious of the personalities is the Sanguine. By obvious, I mean that this one is the easiest to be spotted in a crowd. A Sanguine is usually the cheerful, playful, center of attention, high-energy, fun-loving and outgoing type (think of an otter). They love to make others laugh; they love to have everyone happy around them, they tend to be loud and very talkative. A Sanguine’s basic desire is to have fun. They don’t like it when others are sad or moody.
Example: If there was a school play going on, they would be the actor that is
Chrissie Hasenohrl center stage in a comedy role. They crave the attention of others and seem to be energized when surrounded by a crowd. They could come home from a day of shopping in a mall or other crowded place and be totally happy, not exhausted.
They can be very attracted to loud clothing and tend to want to fill dead space or silence with lots of talking! My oldest and youngest definitely seemed to fit that role! Especially the youngest! He LOVED people and would do anything to be with others. The most horrid punishment for him was to be alone. Sitting in his room and having to play by himself was the worst!
Also, to a Sanguine, cluttered personal space is never an issue. They don’t mind it. They don’t see it a lot of times. A Sanguine needs attention, he needs to be reaffirmed that he is loved for who he is.
The second easily identified personality is the Melancholy. While we don’t have a primary Melancholy in our house, there are a few of us with Melancholy as secondary or even a third. The Melancholy tends to be on the quieter side. They can be deep thinkers. They are also very detailoriented when it comes to something that matters to them (think of a beaver), very much a perfectionist. I have a friend with
a very Melancholy daughter. As a child she would spill out the beads they had and spend hours meticulously putting each back in its spot, just so. My niece is a strong Melancholy. As a toddler, she really enjoyed cleaning things. My Mom would give her a rag and a spray bottle with water and she would go around the entire house and detail everything she could reach!
As my oldest grew into his teen years he began to show more and more Melancholy signs. When he takes on a project that matters to him, he becomes meticulous at it. However, things that don’t matter, suffer – like his room. Using our school play situation again, the Melancholy would be the set designer. They would create, with great attention, all the set elements needed to have the most beautiful set!
As a Melancholy gets more comfortable in a conversation, their voice tends to quite. The opposite of a Sanguine! Growing into the wife role with my husband, I began to realize that his Choleric can’t handle my Sanguine clutter. It gave him the feeling of being out of control. I asked the Lord to raise up in me the Melancholy part He gave me so that I could give my husband the house he needed. It has taken many years (and will take many more) to get things to the point where he is very comfortable, but I am getting there! The Sanguine in me just honestly didn’t see the mess. I had to retrain myself to visibly see the clutter so I could clean it up and give my husband the security that he so desperately needed.
Melancholies tend to be attracted to classical, quiet clothes. Styles that transcend time are something they gravitate to.
Melancholies needs to feel stability, be given space and they embrace the ‘silence is golden’ adage. The next to recognize is the Choleric (pronounced like collar). These guys aren’t quite as easy to identify as the Sanguine and Melancholy.
Cholerics never enter a room unnoticed. They have an ‘energy’ about them. It could be a positive or a negative ‘energy’, but it is definitely there and you can sense it when they walk in! A Choleric is a very goaloriented, large presence, and in-charge kind of person (think of a lion). They are usually well-organized and taskoriented as well as outgoing.
You can tell a Choleric by their body language. They tend to have heavy footfalls, the floor can shake! They tend to walk purposefully. They can also have a scowl on their face. This is usually because they are focused, not because they are angry.
My second son was ALWAYS the one to dictate the rules of the game to the neighborhood kids when they played together. He was also the one who changed the rules as he saw fit (which didn’t go over very well with the other kids!). He excelled at being bossy. He is the one that we can tell where he is in the house because the floor vibrates when he walks. They don’t like others who buck their authority (authority
that is either given or perceived). My son perceived he had authority over his brothers, it was never given to him, and so he would frequently try to set the rules for different situations. I had to make the point very often that, “You are NOT the Mommy!”
My husband is also a Choleric. He has a strong ‘my way or the highway’ way of thinking; a great asset at work! One basic desire of a Choleric is to have control. If he feels he has lost control, in any part of his life, it’s a very upsetting and depressing thing.
In that same school play situation above, the Choleric would be the director. He would be the one to direct the people on how to act, the set on how it’s set up, etc. The Choleric needs to be appreciated for what they have accomplished or have the ability to do.
The last personality I will describe is the Phlegmatic. While the other three have lives tending to the extreme, the Phlegmatic tends to be more balanced; a great one word description is peaceful. They are contented with life (think of a golden retriever). They don’t feel as if they need to go out and change the world. They are usually calm and collected in intense and emotional situations.
The Phlegmatic is very flexible and can bend to whatever the task at hand calls for. They can perform a multitude of tasks although they may not have a passion for them. Phelgmatics can take on the tasks of a Choleric (i.e. hiring and firing), a Melancholy (i.e. finances), or a Sanguine (i.e. finding donations and catering to donors). They are comfortable falling
into almost any role, except the time to be themselves and get grounded again. Another way to recognize a Phlegmatic: they are the opposite of the Choleric personality. In actions, moods, facial expressions, just about everything! I was blessed with my oldest being a Phlegmatic. He was the easiest baby, rarely fussing and a very easy child to discipline. He enjoyed playing Lego’s by himself. I was the same way. I would spend hours in my room entertaining myself. I enjoyed the silence.
Again, in our school play situation, the Phlegmatic would be the one sitting in the audience contemplating the play. No desire to be center-stage, no desire to have the responsibility of directing and making sure things are conducted correctly, no desire to detail anything! Just relax and enjoy what others have done.
For a Phlegmatic, comfort trumps all. Comfortable clothes, comfortable settings, comfortable noise levels, you get the picture! Phelgmatics love the ‘permanent press’ shirts or broomstick wrinkle skirts because they require little care and it’s ok to wrinkle them!
Another way to recognize a Phlegmatic is body language. The opposite of a Choleric, again! Where Cholerics tend to ‘stomp’, Phelgmatics will ‘flow’. After all, why stand when you can sit? Why sit when you can lie down?
Another trait of a Phlegmatic is that they tend to have things in their personal space, all within reach. I am famous for that with my sewing. I love to do handwork and have worked out a
system that I can take with me anywhere. To my place on the couch, my bedroom, the car, anywhere I go I have my handwork! I also like to have things within reach in the kitchen, i.e. a baking center or a coffee center. Phelgmatics are also thinkers. When there is a project to be done, Phelgmatics will take their time to work it all out in their head before ever setting about doing it in real life. They read the directions. This can take time, but Phelgmatics can be very patient. Above all, a Phlegmatic needs a sense of respect and self-worth in their decisions. They need understanding and emotional support.
I hope by now you are able, to some extent, to discover the personalities of those closest to you! REMEMBER: this is not a box to put each of your loved ones in! This is one of the tools God has given each of us for the purposes of relationships. God is all about relationship. You will learn to use this tool, among others, to vastly improve your relationships with those around you. The better we can understand the person closest to us, the easier it will be to understand the decisions they make, the reasoning behind those decisions and in general not get quite so annoyed with them!
Next month we will delve into the strengths and weaknesses of these personalities. We will also cover some of the ways of identifying other traits of males vs. females. In the meantime, there is a Personality Profile you can complete, if you like, to get a bit deeper understanding of identifying
personalities. Just click
Wired That Way Personality and download the profile and any of the other books you may want to read. Feel free to get what you want. Florence and Marita Littauer have done a masterful job of explaining!