Avon Magazine January 2024 by Towne Post Network, Inc.

TWO HUNDRED AND COUNTING HENDRICKS COUNTY GEARS UP FOR A MEMORABLE BICENTENNIAL CELEBRATION

JANUARY 2024

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LET’S TALK: PERIOD.

HAPPY FUR SURE

DEDICATION AND DETERMINATION

Local Resident Mark Munroe Lives, Works and Plays Wholeheartedly

INGRATITUDE IS UGLY

KEY CONTRIBUTORS TARA MARIE DORSETT MELISSA GIBSON DR. JESSICA HEALEY CHRISTY HEITGER-EWING CHRIS PALMORE

Winter Tips for Keeping Your Pet Occupied and Content

FACTS ABOUT THE BABY BOOM GENERATION

HELP FROM THE HEART

Caring for Those With Dementia, and the Caregivers Too

TOWNE POST NETWORK, INC. FOUNDER, CEO TOM BRITT tom@townepost.com (317) 496-3599 PRESIDENT JEANNE BRITT jeanne@townepost.com (317) 810-0011 PRODUCTION COORDINATOR ERIN TURK CREATIVE DIRECTORS VAL AUSTIN TONI EADS

TWO HUNDRED AND COUNTING

JANUARY 2024

PUBLISHER DARREN BOSTON darren@townepost.com (317) 716-8812

Hendricks County Gears Up for a Memorable Bicentennial Celebration

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DEDICATION AND DETERMINATION LOCAL RESIDENT MARK MUNROE LIVES, WORKS AND PLAYS WHOLEHEARTEDLY Writer / Melissa Gibson Photography Provided

If you’ve ever noticed a quiet young man at the Kroger in Avon bagging your groceries, pulling in carts from the parking lot, or offering to help carry your items to your car, you may have met Mark Munroe. He’s been working at Kroger for the past 17 years as a front-end courtesy clerk, and loves helping others. For Mark and his family, finding a community of support, employment and extracurricular activities can be challenging at times. “We moved to Hendricks County in 2004 and after Mark graduated from Brownsburg High School, he began working at Kroger,” says Mark’s mother, Carolyn. “I really like Sycamore Services. They are there for you and answered all of our questions. They talked to Mark about what he might like to do.” Sycamore Services is a nonprofit organization dedicated to offering services to adults and children with intellectual and developmental disabilities, including employment opportunities. The program pairs job coaches with individuals with special needs like Mark who are looking for employment. The coach walks alongside the employee, helping meet the needs of both the employer and the employee. According to Mark’s job coach, Lee Wilhite, Mark initially did some trial work at Walgreens and Arby’s, and immediately demonstrated 6 | January 2024 | TownePost.com

strong work ethic. The job at Kroger seemed to be the perfect fit.

Mark & Manager, Barb

“The Kroger company has been one of the many highly valued partnerships Sycamore has in employing our clients with developmental disabilities,” Wilhite says. “We have more than just a few clients currently working in a number of their Hendricks County stores.” Mark works four days per week and says his favorite task is bagging groceries. It allows him to interact with co-workers and customers alike. “I know a lot of people there and they’re nice,” he says. “My boss is really nice and I help people with the heavy stuff. The holidays are busy. I’ve been bringing a lot of heavy turkeys out to the customers’ cars.” The staff loves Mark, and the contribution he makes to the company and staff morale is unmatched.

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“Mark is phenomenal,” says Barb Beckham, front-end department manager. “He’s my go-to person when I need something done. I know he puts 100% into whatever it is without complaining, and I think everyone in the store would tell you he’s a joy to be around.” The love between the employees and Mark is evident in the way they consistently try to brighten each other’s day. He brings in treats for the break room on occasion, and the staff members treat him with the same kindness. “Mark’s grandma passed away in early November and Mark told the people at Kroger,” Carolyn says. “He was doing OK, but one day he brought home a card that was just filled with signatures. They do things like that all the time. Someone even called and

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checked on him and the family. We couldn’t find a better place.” Mark has a long history of defeating the odds, persevering, and showing up for others when they’ve needed a friend. He was born with a club foot and had his first surgery at three and a half years old. Years of surgeries and therapies followed, but when Mark went in for another surgery at 14, what might have been a routine procedure became a scary situation. “The anesthesiologist came out to talk to us, and said Mark had developed a very serious condition due to the anesthesia,” Carolyn says. “He ended up in pediatric critical care for five days. He had all these needles and a breathing machine, but he was a trooper. The entire time he was just worried about getting back to being healthy.”

The friendships he’s formed with the staff at Kroger extend to the community as well. Mark is a Special Olympics athlete, participating in track, basketball, bocce and equestrian throughout the year. Most recently, the Munroe Clan, a Special Olympics unified bowling team made up of Mark, his parents and his brother, Jeff, made it to the state competition. “We were very excited,” Carolyn says. “We always do great at the practice but not very well in competition. For whatever reason, this year we did really well and that’s been fun.” In addition, Mark participates in other Sycamore Services programs such as group social outings each week. The outings allow participants to create social opportunities, independence and fun.

“We go bowling and out to lunch, or sometimes we go to a museum,” Mark says. If not working at Kroger or out with his social group, Mark enjoys helping around the house and hanging out with family. “I like to mow the yard and I like to watch comedies,” he says. “My favorite is ‘Blazing Saddles.’ I like to help my mom and help other people if they are feeling bad or sad.” Mark’s mom can attest to his sensitive and empathetic nature. “Mark is a very sweet, nurturing and caring person,” Carolyn says. “When I’m upset, he will not leave my side. He’s just there for people.” And many others have noticed. At a special-needs camp, he received a certificate for being caring and nurturing when his camp counselor expressed a fear of clowns. His empathetic nature helped the counselor, and in his typical fashion, he made others in his group feel better. He has no plans to leave Kroger. The friendships, co-workers and partnerships make it a home away from home. “He always has a smile for me,” Beckham says. “He shows up for work on time and goes above and beyond, but that very quiet and humble demeanor, that’s just Mark. He gets along with everyone and is always willing to jump in and take care of what is needed.”

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E D U T I T A R G IN Y L G U IS Writer / Chris Palmore

Long ago, I was taught an important lesson. It was a hard lesson, and fortunately my dad was ready for this to happen. I'm not saying he was expecting it, but he had the insight and soundness of mind to show me the way. It was, I believe, my tenth birthday. My parents threw me a little party. I was sitting at the head of the table, opposite the windows facing our backyard. My dad had set up the camcorder that he had borrowed from the school where he taught. They happily sang happy birthday to me. Once the singing ended, I blew out the candles. A little later, I opened my presents, mostly clothes and things I was not impressed by or even happy to get. I was frowning the whole time, the lack of happiness plastered all over my face. People who loved me had spent time and money celebrating me, all to make me feel special and loved, but this was totally lost on me at this young age in my life. I was a selfish child who just wanted toys. My dad was video recording my birthday celebration. I don’t remember this moment at all. I remember what happened after this moment, later in the day. My dad told me to go into our television room and sit down. He then played the video of me during the party. I could see how I was acting. I could see my ingratitude. I could see the ugliness it radiated. My dad explained to me how mean I was being. He explained it and showed it to me. This created a memory I will never forget. Modern technology allows a person, in this case a parent and a child, to revisit an event with the slightest of ease. Seeing yourself behave awfully is a powerful lesson. It's hard to watch and it takes a special person, a person who cares, to show it to you. My dad showed me a lot of love, tough love. I deserved to be punished, but, instead, he cared enough to show me the ugliness so that I could see the truth of the situation and make a choice not to be that person ever again. The sooner we can understand and see all the gifts around us, the better. To be receiving so much and not taking notice of it is a disease. It will rot you from within and steal your joy. This disease silences happiness. It breaks up families and friendships. All people want is to feel appreciated and loved. Giving appreciation freely will result in it being freely given back to you. It's reciprocal, and it works. Spin the wheel, and it will come back around to you. Check out gratitudespace.com for more gratitude related content. 10 | January 2024 | TownePost.com

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TWO HUNDRED AND COUNTING HENDRICKS COUNTY GEARS UP FOR A MEMORABLE BICENTENNIAL CELEBRATION Writer / Melissa Gibson Photography Provided

This year Hendricks County residents will celebrate the county’s 200th birthday, and not only are plans underway to create a community-wide, memorable experience, but the bicentennial committee is hoping you’ll get involved too.

Baldwin says. “We need to do something. It’s going to take organization. This county started with about 1,000 people, and today we have 174,000. We’ve built industries, services - the changes over time have been huge and we don’t want to dismiss it.”

In early 2023, Pat Baldwin, president of the Hendricks County Historical Museum and co-chair of the bicentennial committee, approached the Hendricks County commissioners to request the bicentennial be recognized and celebrated in 2024. With wholehearted agreement, a team of community leaders got to work.

Visit Hendricks County, the Hendricks County Community Foundation (HCCF), the Hendricks County Historical Museum and many others formed a steering committee to launch the project.

“I didn’t want to miss this opportunity,”

“We want to lend our expertise in helping make this celebration one to remember for our county,” says Josh Duke, senior manager of content and communications

at Visit Hendricks County. “Half of our staff is actively involved in some way, putting extra time and effort into this initiative beyond our normal, day-to-day work. Two hundred years is an amazing milestone. Just consider how many generations have called Hendricks County home and how much change has occurred during that time.” Under the bicentennial steering committee, subcommittees were formed with individuals from Hendricks County libraries, Hendricks Regional Health, Duke Energy, Hendricks Power Cooperative and many others, working on different aspects of the celebration including history, events, TownePost.com | January 2024

budget and more. Their first task was creating a symbol of bicentennial events and programs. Earlier this year the official bicentennial logo contest brought in 36 submitted designs, and the steering committee selected John Johansson’s multicolored image, representing the county’s forests and parks, streams, cornfields, and contribution to the motorsports industry. “It wasn’t unanimous by any means and there were easily five to 10 logos that could have served as our bicentennial logo,” Duke says. “Ultimately John’s logo couldn’t have worked out any better. He’s been an advocate for this celebration since the getgo and everyone has loved it, so we couldn’t be happier.” A video of Johansson describing what went into his design is on the newly created bicentennial website at hendricks200.com. The website was designed by ASH Interactive, a marketing firm in Brownsburg, and it provides a variety of information, from the history of the county to planned events. “It’s still a work in progress but a great place to start,” Baldwin says. “There are and will be photos, a timeline of historical information, event information, and a spot to sign up for the newsletter to keep people informed.” As for the history timeline, visitors to the website can learn about the establishment of Hendricks County, formation of the county seat in Danville, schools, railroads, and other major milestones in the county’s past and present. “I want people to treasure the past, those who came before us and struggled to make what we have now,” says Susie Truax, steering committee and history committee member. “These individuals made Hendricks County what it is today. They tore down the forest and they settled on the land. It’s something that unites us and helps us get back to our roots.” One might often think of history as 50, 100 or 200 years ago, but

January 2024 | TownePost.com

what makes the bicentennial celebration special, according to Eric Hessel, vice president of programs at the HCCF and co-chair of the bicentennial committee, is the fact that history starts today. “If you’ve lived in Hendricks County for a year or come from a family that has been here since the county’s inception, when you moved here, you became a part of our history,” Hessel says. “We hope people will share their history with us in some way, shape or form.” In this spirit, the bicentennial committee encourages every town and every person in the county to get involved in the celebration. The steering committee’s kickoff event will be in March, and there will a closing event in early 2025. Those planning large events for 2024 are already starting to reach out.

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“We’re partnering with the Hendricks County Rib-Fest and barbecue to sponsor the music in 2024,” Hessel says. “This will be the first time music has returned since the pandemic. We’ll also partner with the Hendricks County 4-H Fair to bring different aspects of the bicentennial to those events.” The Hendricks County Historical Museum staff will have a bicentennial theme for its Dancing With the Hendricks County Stars fundraiser. The Celebrating Avon festival organizers will include the theme in their popular event at the Avon-Washington Township Public Library. An educational book featuring the history of the towns and townships in Hendricks County is underway. In addition, the steering committee is creating a Bicentennial Legacy project - something we can establish for future generations. “Our Bicentennial Legacy project will be the 50 Trees Trail - planting 50 native Indiana trees, likely at W.S. Gibbs Park, that will serve as a beautification project and last

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well beyond 2024,” Hessel says. While many of the large community events will likely have a bicentennial theme throughout the year, the committee’s hope is that the county will celebrate in a variety of ways as more local businesses, civic groups and residents learn more. “There are many ways to get involved,” Duke says. “We want everyone to consider creating an event or legacy project to celebrate the bicentennial. We hope that event organizers for all of our annual events will add some kind of bicentennial component so we can make this a yearlong celebration, and we are currently acquiring corporate sponsors for specific activities and events.” Free yard signs have been designed and printed, and they are available for display throughout the county. Sponsorship opportunities are being developed for small businesses, families and individuals, allowing everyone to express their love and appreciation for their county in the coming year. Those creating or hosting an event can go to the bicentennial website and seek an endorsement from the committee. To qualify, the committee is looking for public projects that engage and inspire the community. An endorsement allows for the use of the official logo and published news about the special event. If planning a community celebration isn’t on your radar, joining in on the fun certainly can be. “We also ask all residents to simply go out and support these bicentennial events and projects that will occur throughout the year,” Duke says. “Your support is greatly appreciated and welcomed.” As everyone works together, 2024 will be a year to remember. The bicentennial is meant to celebrate growth and change, and recognize all the county has accomplished in the past 200 years. “In today’s age, where everyone finds something to be mad about, to bicker about or to complain about, this is something we can all get around together,” Hessel says. “Everyone can take part and share in this.” Visit hendricks200.com to learn more, submit photos, apply for event endorsement or sign up for the newsletter. January 2024 | TownePost.com

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LET’S TALK: PERIOD. Writer / Dr. Jessica Healey, OB/GYN at IU Health West Hospital Photography Provided

Menstruation is a normal and healthy part of life for most women, but as common as it is, it can be difficult to talk about. Dr. Jessica Healey, OB/GYN at IU Health West Hospital and mom of two young daughters, knows it’s important for young girls to be prepared and informed. She answers some key questions below about the menstrual cycle, how to approach conversations surrounding the topic, and how an OB/GYN can help.

WHAT IS THE MENSTRUAL CYCLE?

When a girl reaches puberty, the brain will start to produce hormones that signal changes in the body, which are meant to prepare her body to be able to become pregnant. Those hormones will thicken an January 2024 | TownePost.com

should probably start having conversations inner layer of tissue inside the uterus called the endometrium so that it can provide blood with their doctor. flow to a potential pregnancy. A menstrual period occurs when the body then recognizes DO YOU HAVE ANY that it’s not pregnant and will shed this TIPS ON HOW TO endometrial lining. Women will often experience cramping as the muscle of the uterus contracts to help push out this old blood and tissue. This is experienced by women as the blood and tissue leave the uterus through its opening called the cervix. It then comes out through the vagina and is seen as blood, or better known as a period.

WHEN DO GIRLS TYPICALLY GET THEIR FIRST PERIOD? The average age for starting the first period is 12 or 13. Some girls can start as young as 8 and others may not start until as late as 15. If they haven’t started by about age 15, they

APPROACH THESE CONVERSATIONS?

I think listening to the curiosity your child has, and being willing and open to discuss those things when they come to you, is important. Being able to just educate yourself on the menstrual cycle and what your child might experience is also key. A lot of adults still don’t really understand what it is or why it’s happening, or the timeline of how things happen. If that’s the case, do your own research, and if you have an OB/GYN, you can ask them those questions. If you feel very uncomfortable, it’s also very reasonable and appropriate to either ask your child’s pediatrician or have your child see an OB/ GYN to have these initial discussions.

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HAPPY FUR SURE

WINTER TIPS FOR KEEPING YOUR PET OCCUPIED AND CONTENT Writer / Tara Marie Dorsett Photography Provided

“Are you serious? You really want out?”

I sighed. “OK, give me a minute.”

I glanced from my dog to the window, where I could see small tornadoes of snow swirling through the trees. She wagged her tail expectantly.

On went the snow pants, boots, hat and gloves.

22 | January 2024 | TownePost.com

“You sure you want out?”

The husky swiped her front paw across the doorknob, and I slid into my jacket. The frozen air of winter met us as we crunched down the snow-covered steps, crossed the white lawn of our apartment building, slid around the gate that

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category, I have a few indoor ideas to keep humans and animals sane until spring arrives.

BOXES. Yep, those plain brown cardboard boxes that start piling up around the house this time of year will keep your sanity intact for a few more hours. Instead of throwing the boxes away or folding them into the recycling bin, put them in a spare closet or unused space. Keep every size and shape. Once you have a nice stash, take some, scatter a few toys or treats in them, stack the boxes a few rows high. Show your pet how to push the boxes over and find the treats or toys. You can also cut the boxes into chunks, toss the cardboard pieces in a pile, and add a few treats or toys under and around the cardboard for your pet to find.

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hydrated, and all those empty bottles from trying to drink the recommended amount of fluid per day add up. Before you toss them into a bin, try this. Rinse the bottles and let them dry on the inside. Any plastic bottle size will work. Keep the size of your pet in mind when choosing bottles. A two-liter bottle might not be the best option for a Chihuahua, but they do have big attitudes and might prefer a bottle twice their size. Likewise, a four-ounce bottle might be too small for a Great Dane to play with safely. Decide what size your pet is most comfortable handling before tossing a few treats or pieces of dry food - kibble, crackers, cheerios, - into the bottles. Leave the caps off. You probably already have your pet’s attention, but in case you don’t, call him and show him the bottle. Shake the bottle, set it on the floor, gently roll it or do all three. Once your pet realizes something good is inside the bottle, she will do everything she can to get those tidbits to tumble out.

LASER LIGHTS. While not everyone is a fan of letting their pets chase an uncatchable red or green shape around the room, I love playing this game with my critters. My ferrets will chase this small light for hours. It’s the perfect way to help them burn energy. You can even toss your pet a treat occasionally to reward his efforts.

PREPPING FOR SPRING. Teach your pet to walk beside you offleash. Decide what word you are going to use for this command. Common phrases are “heel,” “walk” and “let’s go.” It doesn’t matter what word combination you use, but be consistent. Grab a special treat or toy - something your pet really likes or gets occasionally. You will want to be in a room that has plenty of space for walking in straight lines, making sudden turns, running and stopping.

LEAD YOUR PET TO THE TRAINING AREA. Show your pet the item in your hand. Always keep the treat or toy in the hand closest to your pet. If your dog is standing on your right side, the toy/treat should be in your right hand. Say your preferred word and take a few steps forward. As your dog/cat/hamster walks with you, give small pieces of treat or let him/her chew on the toy. Give lots of calm verbal praise. Once your pet understands what to do, change your pace or the direction you are walking. Throw in a few unexpected stops. Don’t rush things. The better your pet is at staying beside you off-leash, the easier it will be for him to master walking with you on a leash when you need to add one to his training. Want some more ideas? Email me at taramarie611@gmail.com.

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FACTS ABOUT THE BABY BOOM GENERATION (BORN 1946-1964) Provided by Parade.com

Dairy Queen was one of the first food chains to start franchising in 1955 and had everyone screaming for ice cream with their Dilly Bars and Mr. Misty.

Think it was just the famous Beatles on the front of the Abbey Road cover? Astute Boomers also noticed that a VW Beetle was in the photo on this record that featured the lead single “Something/”Come Together”.

“Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake Shake, Shake Shake Your Booty” holds the record for being the only number-one song title with Eating in front of the TV got a lot better when TV dinners were introduced. There were only originally four main courses a word repeated more than three times in it. sold by Swanson: meatloaf, fried chicken, turkey and Salisbury Ricky Nelson was second only to Elvis as the most popular steak. rock ‘n’ roll artist from 1957 to 1962. Impressionable Boomers started ‘smoking’ bubble gum Elizabeth may have been 25 when she became a queen cigarettes that would puff out powdered sugar as smoke. in 1953, but Freddie Mercury was a young 24 when he started fronting the British rock group Queen in 1970. One of the most popular side dishes in the 60s was Rice-aRoni, known as “The San Francisco Treat.” Its commercials all “Sweet Georgia Brown” was whistled as the theme song at started with the distinct cable car bell ringing. the Harlem Globetrotters games. Hopalong Cassidy, a TV Western hero, was the first image ever The game Twister, which once got Johnny Carson and Eva put onto a lunch box. It was a runaway hit, selling more than Gabor in tangles on The Tonight Show, got its beginnings as 600,000 at $2.39 each in its first year. a game of tic-tac-toe to be played with your feet. At the height of its 1950s fad, more than 5000 Davy Crockett The reason yo-yos became so iconic? The launch of the coonskin hats sold each day, showing the power of television Butterfly yoyo by Duncan in the ‘50s made it easier for on commerce—the popularity of the Davy Crockett show drove Boomers to do tricks and stunts with their yo-yos, which helped sales through the roof. fuel the craze.

2 3 4

9 10

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26 | January 2024 | TownePost.com

“Barbie was the ultimate doll—but Baby Boomers experienced everything from Betsy Wetsy who had problems “holding it” to Growing Up Skipper who got taller if you turned the knob.

red, white, and blue helmet, while Jack Nicholson donned a gold American football helmet. Another baby boomer fact: This cult classic was one of the first to use pre-recorded music for a soundtrack.

One of the most iconic toys from the Baby Boomer era? Stretch Armstrong—a musclebound action figure that had the physical ability to be stretched almost five feet.

It’s all so EGG-citing! Two products from the Boom Era came packaged in plastic eggs–Silly Putty and L’eggs Pantyhose.

17 18

The price of the average movie ticket in 1975 was $2.

The first show to ever be broadcast in color on ABC-TV was The Jetsons, which debuted in 1962 and had Boomers dreaming of walking their dog on a treadmill in space just like George walked Astro.

Bob Keeshan was a Boomer favorite in three different decades as Captain Kangaroo. He was also the original Clarabell the clown on The Howdy Doody Show in the 1950s.

Definitely not suitable for today’s roads but in 1969’s Easy Rider, Peter Fonda sported a “Captain America”

Alfred Hitchcock Presents is well known for its opening credits with a camera fade in on a line-drawing caricature of Hitchcock’s profile, the theme music of “Funeral March of a Marionette” and Hitchcock’s walk to the center of the screen and his trademark “Good evening.”

Young love bloomed with the movie star set in the 50s and 60s, with Mia Farrow marrying Frank Sinatra when she was 21 and Elizabeth Taylor marrying Nicky Hilton when she was only 18 years old.

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Every day, baby boomers recited the Pledge of Allegiance at the start of their school day.

During Vietnam over five million Americans wore bracelets with a POW’s name, rank and loss date in support of our troops.

A number of iconic Baby Boomer celebrities wound up going into politics including Love Boat’s Fred Grandy (Congress) Sonny Bono (Palm Springs Mayor and Congressman,) and Clint Eastwood (Mayor of Carmel, CA).

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HELP FROM THE HEART CARING FOR THOSE WITH DEMENTIA, AND THE CAREGIVERS TOO

Writer / Christy Heitger-Ewing Photography Provided

Six years ago, Jennifer Coy-Rash was busy raising her two young children when she began noticing that her mother could no longer find her way to her house or to the local library. She observed other odd behavior, too, so she had her 64-year-old mom evaluated, and she was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s. A couple years later, Coy-Rash’s dad received the same diagnosis. While Alzheimer’s disease is the most common type of dementia, accounting for 60 to 80% of cases, other types include dementia with Lewy bodies, frontotemporal, and vascular. When we think of the word “dementia,” we tend to think of memory loss, but it’s actually much more than that. According to Jessie Hillock, owner and founder of The Memory Compass, dementia is a loss of executive function. “We’re doing a disservice by thinking of 28 | January 2024 | TownePost.com

dementia as memory loss,” says Hillock, a dementia care specialist. “A person may be able to name the day of the week and the president of the United States, but they can’t operate their cell phone or their microwave oven.” It’s important to recognize the difference between normal aging and mild cognitive impairment. With normal aging, you may see changes in one’s ability to multitask, slowed thinking speed, occasionally struggling to find the right word, and sometimes forgetting names and appointments but remembering them later. Also with normal aging, the individual experiencing these issues is the only one who notices them. Mild cognitive impairment, however, is when others take notice. In this instance, an individual’s memory loss disrupts life. They experience confusion with time or place, they misplace things and are unable to retrace steps, and they may struggle with understanding visual images and spatial relationships, which can result in car accidents. Also, dementia patients lose their filter.

When communicating with someone with dementia, Hillock recommends joining the person in their reality, rather than trying to invite them into yours. For example, say your mother passed away five years ago and your father, who has dementia, asks you where his wife is. Rather than reminding him that she’s been deceased for years, it’s better to say, “I think she’s at the store right now,” or, “What would you like to tell her?” Some people think taking their loved one to the gravesite will help them grasp reality, but that news just serves to confuse and overwhelm them. Another common scenario with dementia patients is realizing that it’s best, for the wellbeing of all concerned, to take their car keys away. In this instance, what do you do if they keep asking for their keys? Rather than stating that it’s no longer safe for them to drive, it’s better to say, “I took your car to the shop,” or, “Your grandson needed to borrow your car.” “This one is great because if they feel they

are helping someone, that makes them feel useful,” says Hillock, who calls these little white lies “therapeutic fiblets.” Karen Rogers (name changed to protect identity) says that providing her husband with a fake set of keys keeps him happy. “Holding those keys makes him feel independent,” says Rogers. One common complaint from families of dementia patients is their refusal to eat or drink. Asking them if they’re hungry or thirsty will likely be met with an upturned nose. If, however, you hand them a plate of food or a glass of water, they’ll often eat or drink it.

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“Lead them to food and sit down with them,” says Hillock. Helping dementia patients find purpose is key. Hillock knows of a lady who leaves the same basketful of laundry for her mother to fold over and over because her mom wants to feel like she’s helping. You may have heard of dementia patients who are given a baby doll or a stuffed animal to “care for.” While this works beautifully in some cases, Hillock points out that it can be anxietyprovoking for others if they are concerned that someone has abandoned their baby or their pet. In 2021, 11 million Americans reported providing 16 billion hours of unpaid care for loved ones with dementia. Furthermore, the Central Indiana Council on Aging reports that one in six millennial caregivers who cares for someone living with dementia struggles with mental, physical and financial hardships because of their caregiving role. Therefore, it’s important that we acknowledge the importance of caring for the caregiver as well. Jean Crane, a counselor at Care to Change, says this entails meeting physical, mental, emotional and social needs. This includes eating nutritious foods, engaging in proper exercise and getting adequate rest. It’s also crucial for a caregiver to cut out negative self-talk.

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“Be less judgmental and more compassionate to yourself,” says Crane. Also curtail your “what-if” thinking, which only stirs anxiety. It’s better to focus on today, in the given moment. It’s also wise to practice self-gratitude. “It’s impossible to be anxious and grateful at the same time,” says Crane. Emotionally, you should identify, express and process your feelings. In other words, if you’re stressed, breathe. If you’re angry, punch a pillow. If you’re disappointed, confide in a trusted friend. Also, tend to your soul needs. “What brings you rejuvenation?” asks Crane. “What fills your tank? You can’t give if you have nothing left inside.” A dementia diagnosis can be a scary thing, but keep in mind that there are resources available to help you.

Coy-Rash ended up connecting with a lot of great resources, many through the local senior center, which helped her navigate this new life with her parents. She now is well-versed in Medicaid waiver payments including eligibility criteria, finding providers, and the services that are covered. “Connecting with the proper resources is so helpful,” says Coy-Rash. The Muncie Delaware County Senior Citizens Center offers activities, programs and resources for seniors. Visit muncieseniorcenter.com to learn more.

TIPS FOR HELPING THOSE WITH DEMENTIA

• Be patient when their memory fails by letting them try again, and reminding them of what they were talking about.

• Avoid letting them read thrillers or watch crime shows before bedtime, because they may wake up thinking they are part of the scene. Stick with lighthearted books and shows in the evenings. • If they are struggling to find the correct word, ask them to point to an object or gesture in order to communicate. • Avoid towering over them so they don’t feel intimidated. Bend down to meet them at eye level. • Speak slowly and clearly, and wait patiently for a response, as it may take 20 or more seconds for them to process what you said.

• Make your conversations meaningful rather than just engaging in small talk. When you

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