Brownsburg Magazine November 2019 by Towne Post Network, Inc.

NOVEMBER 2019

MAGAZINE

Former Colts Player & Brownsburg Resident Joe Staysniak Talks Family, Football & Life on the Airwaves

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BIG JOE ON THE RADIO: FORMER COLTS PLAYER & BROWNSBURG RESIDENT JOE STAYSNIAK TALKS FAMILY, FOOTBALL & LIFE ON THE AIRWAVES

Though he stood 6' 5" and weighed 240 lbs. by the end of his freshman year of high school, Joe Staysniak says playing pro football was never on his radar.

EDITOR

Samantha Kupiainen

NOVEMBER WRITERS

Christy Heitger-Ewing Claire-Anne Aikman / Jamie Hergott Lynda Hedberg Thies / Abigail Hake

NOVEMBER PHOTOGRAPHERS

Amy Payne / KelGrand Photography Jamie Sangar

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Stuffed! Unique Recipes for Classic Thanksgiving Dishes Gather ‘round : Use this holiday prep list to host the best gathering this season

10 Big Joe On the Radio: Former

18 IU Health West Hospital Growing to

Meet Community Needs

21 The Courage to Leave: One

Woman’s Journey to Freedom & Fulfillment After Escaping Domestic Abuse

Colts Player & Brownsburg Resident Life on the Airwaves: Brownsburg Joe Staysniak Talks Family, Football Radio Personality Mentors Students & Life on the Airwaves Who Want to Follow In His Footsteps Ride of a Lifetime: Hendricks County Students Represent Team Sculpting a Legend: Local Artist USA In BMX World Championships Talks About Creating the Peyton Manning Statue

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STUFFED!

UNIQUE RECIPES FOR CLASSIC THANKSGIVING DISHES Writer / Abigail Hake Photography Provided

Thanksgiving is such a great time to be with family, watch some football and stuff your face full of some of the best comfort food out there. But cooking a Thanksgiving Feast can be daunting, unless you do it year after year. It takes strategic planning, off the charts time management skills and the energy of a 6-year old — which is probably why most people leave it to their in-laws or friends. Those who take on this beast of a feast year after year after year really revel in the chaos and strategy of it. It’s a full day in the kitchen, staying up late the night before and getting up early to get that turkey started on the big day. And it’s always helpful to have tried and true recipes to round out the menu! “Vintage” recipes tend to be some of the best. I mean who doesn’t love their great grandma’s green bean casserole or

their aunt’s secret recipe pecan pie? But a good mix of old and new is sure to satisfy most of your guests. If you are ready to try something different, here is a stuffing recipe sure to please. It typically entices wanting seconds from non-stuffing lovers and is sure to satisfy your tastes.

DRIED CHERRY & SAUSAGE STUFFING: Ingredients -½ cup butter (1 stick) -6 celery stalks, finely diced -2 medium onions, finely diced -1 loaf French bread, cut into 1-inch cubes and toasted (10 cups) -1 cup dried cherries -¾ pound Italian sausage, casings removed, cooked, and crumbled -¾ cup fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped -1 teaspoon kosher salt -1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper -2 14.5oz cans of chicken broth

Directions (1) Melt the butter in a 12-inch skillet over medium heat. Add the celery and onions and cook until they are translucent, about 5-7 minutes. (2) In a large bowl or pan, combine the celery and onions with the bread, cherries, sausage, parsley, salt, and pepper. Add the broth and stir until well combined. (3) If you want some inside your turkey, use a spoon to loosely stuff the mixture into the turkey just before roasting. (4) If not, pour the rest of the into a baking dish, cover and bake in a 325° oven for one hour; uncover and bake for another 15 minutes. Serve warm. After you’ve had your fill ( I hope you wore your stretchy pants), watched your team win, and then napped for a bit, it’s time for dessert.

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Holiday desserts are seriously the best. There’s just something special that makes a pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving taste way better than one on any other normal day. Fall recipes are always delicious, but some of the best and favorite out there tend to be pumpkin related. If you haven’t tried a pumpkin roll before, you might want to. They aren’t really that hard to make and it might quickly become a Thanksgiving dessert table staple.

Cream Cheese Filling: -2 cups powdered sugar -8 oz cream cheese -¼ cup butter -½ tsp vanilla

PUMPKIN ROLL

(2) Pour and smooth evenly into a cookie sheet you have lined with parchment paper.

Here’s what you’ll need: -3 eggs -1 cup sugar -⅔ cup pumpkin -¾ cup flour -1 tsp baking powder -1 tsp ginger -½ tsp cloves -½ tsp salt -2 tsp cinnamon

Sponge Cake: (1) Sift flour, spices, and baking powder in a large bowl. Add eggs and pumpkin. Mix until combined.

(3)Bake at 375 degrees for 12 minutes. (4) While the cake is still warm, sprinkle lightly with powdered sugar, invert onto a clean tea towel and roll up. Let cool until room temperature or in the refrigerator. *You’ll want to roll while still warm to reduce cracks. And use powdered sugar on the towel to prevent sticking!

(5) Once cooled, unroll and spread evenly with cream cheese filling. Gently roll back up. (6) Place on a platter, sprinkle with powdered sugar and refrigerate. Serve Chilled. Filling: (1) Mix together room temperature cream cheese and butter, add vanilla and powdered sugar. Beat ingredients until creamy and smooth. And now that you’ve eaten your way through the table a few times, splurged on desserts and shared all the things you are grateful for, it’s about time for bed. Being around friends and family makes for some great memories, but all that turkey will probably have you ready to hit the pillow. May your day be filled with joy and laughter, and the best stuffing and pumpkin rolls you’ve ever had!

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Use this holiday prep list to host the best gathering this season Writer / Claire-Anne Aikman

There are many things to love about winter. There are its snowfalls (not driving in snow, just watching the snowfall) and its crisp, biting air that calls for hot chocolate and cookies. Then there are its holiday lights. However, one of the best parts is the overall cheery mood that most people have this time of the year. Somehow, in the cold, busy, bundled up day-to-day, people make time to gather with family and friends in their homes. That gathering space is a huge driver in why many people purchase the home they are in. If they are the ones always traveling to gather, space needs are small. If they are hosting, wide-open spaces are desired. To maximize holiday gathering enjoyment for all, see the list holiday prep list below to learn how to host a gathering of your own this season.

4. Clean out the fridge. This might not seem too holiday prep worth, but the logic is that this space will be in high demand. So, take out the old containers that are taking up space. 5. Decorate accordingly. This is tricky for people that have a dog that likes to chew things. Implement strategic decorating methods — especially around the Christmas tree. 6. Determine how much seating will be needed. Get a headcount and plan out how you’ll best utilize your space. 7. Have holiday scented smelly things strewn about (candles and oils). The smell of gingerbread cookies baking can accomplish that stated “need.”

Entertaining doesn’t have to be elaborate or frenzied. It’s a great Operation Holiday Prep way to bring family and friends together to create memories that 1. Clean. No need to list every item that needs to be cleaned, and last a lifetime. Plan a little, reduce your stress a lot, and enjoy your no need to make your home spotless, but cleaning is good, hop guests! to it. 2. Clear the major spaces. Major spaces include the dining room and living room. Suggest to guests that they avoid the bedrooms and smaller spaces. 3. Clear the entryway. This includes those summer shoes that might still be out! 8 / BROWNSBURG MAGAZINE / NOVEMBER 2019 / BrownsburgMagazine.com

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Former Colts Player Joe Staysniak Talks Family, Football & Life On the Airwaves Writer / Christy Heitger-Ewing Photographer / Amy Payne

Though he stood 6' 5" and weighed 240 lbs. by the end of his freshman year of high school, Joe Staysniak says playing pro football was never on his radar.

athletically in swimming, football and volleyball. In fact, four of the five kids received a college scholarship. “Our whole family started swimming at a young age,” Staysniak says. “On weekends, we were up at three in the morning to travel to all-day swim meets. We didn’t have big, fancy vacations together. We had swim meets.”

San Diego Chargers (1990), the Buffalo Bills (1991), Kansas City Chiefs (1992), the Indianapolis Colts (1992-1995), the Green Bay Packers (1996) and the Arizona Cardinals (1996).

Staysniak has fond memories of playing with the Colts due to the camaraderie “I recognized the small percentage of kids he built with his teammates. They who make it at a professional level so I bonded over intense workouts in the never saw that dream on the horizon,” says weight room and taking the field during Staysniak, who grew up the middle child Though he adored basketball, football crazy snowstorms or blinding rain. in a family with four siblings. His mom, a seemed a better fit for his physique and And, of course, there was the 1995 AFC school teacher, and his dad, a police officer, once he set his mind to playing, his only Championship game against the Steelers instilled in their children the importance of goal was to be offered a college scholarship. with Jim Harbaugh as quarterback where maintaining a good work ethic. Ultimately, he landed one with Ohio the Colts came close to winning, which State, starting all four years as an offensive would have advanced them to the Super “They were both incredibly hard workers, lineman. He was part of the 1986-87 Ohio Bowl. But it’s the everyday things that and we all wanted to make them proud,” Staysniak treasures most. State Big Ten championship team that Staysniak says. defeated Texas A&M in the Cotton Bowl “Honestly, some of my favorite memories Classic. That they did. He and his brothers and involve lunchtime, just before going out sisters all thrived academically and to practice,” says Staysniak with a chuckle. During his NFL career, he played for the NOVEMBER 2019

“The guys would sit around the equipment room watching the financial channel and discussing stocks.” In 1994, sportscaster Bob Lamey invited Staysniak to join him every Monday morning to talk about the game. “I said, ‘I’m just a no-name offensive lineman. Why me?’” Staysniak recalls. “Because you’re trustworthy and I can depend on you to show up every Monday at 7 a.m.,” Lamey told him. “I ended up having a lot of fun doing it,” says Staysniak, who parlayed the gig into a 25-year radio career. He’s now a weekday morning sports radio talk show host for WIBC and WFNI in Indianapolis. You can hear him between 7-10 a.m. on 1070 the Fan and 93.5 FM on “The Jeff & Big Joe Show.” “Getting up at 4:30 a.m. isn’t easy, but it leaves afternoons open to spend with my kids,” Staysniak says. He likes the variety of topics he and his cohost, Jeff Rickard, cover. “No day is ever the same, and you never know how it’s going to unfold,” he says. In interviews, he likes when they hit on issues that spark conversation — like social justice or topics that make people uncomfortable. “You wouldn’t think that sitting behind a microphone jabbering about sports would make a difference but it does,” Staysniak says. “It gives people a release from everyday problems and provides a forum to talk that’s not political.”

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As for today’s generation of entitled athletes who seek fame and fortune above all else, Staysniak has no patience for them. He gets perturbed with guys like running back Ezekiel Elliott, who wanted to break his contract due to money disputes.

them and signing million-dollar contracts as unproven rookies,” Staysniak says. “But now they are right back to paying gobs of money for high-profile positions like that. At some point, there’s not going to be any more money to go around.”

“Being greedy and wanting more money before your time comes takes away from somebody else,” Staysniak says. “I have a problem with that.”

Another topic Staysniak feels passionate about is parents behaving badly.

And running back Melvin Gordan claiming that he wasn’t getting paid enough makes Staysniak roll his eyes in disgust. “I have a hard time crying that $5.6M isn’t enough for you to play a kids game for half a year,” Staysniak says. He notes that while some owners are more willing to pay out the money than others, that doesn’t make it right. “They went to a salary cap to save themselves because they were spending so much money on quarterbacks, drafting

“Parents are screwing up high school athletics because they feel they can yell and scream and be jerks at games,” he says. Officials are dropping like flies as hotheaded parents hurl insults at the field or on the court in every sport — basketball, football, wrestling, etc. “Refs are dwindling, and if you don’t have refs, you don’t have games,” says Staysniak, who suggested to Bobby Cox, commissioner of the IHSAA (Indiana High School Athletics Association), that any parent who is thrown out of a game should be forced to enroll in the referee course. “At the very least, they’d learn something and appreciate what the officials do a bit NOVEMBER 2019

more,” he says. He suspects a big part of the problem is the inundation of social media in society. “It used to be a big deal back in the day when you got written up in the paper,” he says. “Now everyone’s got their own YouTube channel. Parents and kids think they are better than they are.” Staysniak and his wife, Pam, have been residents of Brownsburg since 1995. He regularly emcees local fundraising events such as Habit of the Heart, an organization that provides emergency assistance to families of Hendricks County. “It may be children who struggle in school because they need hearing aids or dental work,” Staysniak says. “It may be a family who is displaced due to fire or a woman escaping domestic violence.” He also donates time to Seeds of Hope, Inc., a nonprofit that offers transitional housing for women recovering from alcohol or drug addiction. The annual Seeds of Hope fundraiser will take place November

23 at the new Colts complex on W. 56th Street. In addition, Staysniak helps the Rotary Club raise money for veterans to go on Honor Flights. “Anything in Hendricks County I can do, I try to help because that’s home,” Staysniak says. In his free time, he likes to fish, boat, camp and mow his 20-acre lawn with his Dixie Chopper. He’s got a woodworking shop that he set up when he first married but never devoted time to. Once he’s an empty nester, however, he plans to dive in. He, Pam, and their two sons, Nathan (20) and Lucas (15), take regular camping trips to Gatlinburg and enjoy family reunions at his brother’s cabin in Wisconsin. They’ve also made trips to Hershey and Gettysburg, Pennsylvania — combining their love of chocolate and history. And in the spring, they try to get away to an all-inclusive resort in Cancun.

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Though Staysniak spends three hours a day talking on the radio, he’s a private, unassuming person. “I tire of the Antonio Browns who like to brag on themselves,” he says. The solution? For starters, he suggests people — particularly young folks —put down their phones and look up at their families who love them. “I always had my brothers and sisters to come home to,” he says. “We were tight, so when negativity came at me, my siblings rallied around and instilled confidence in me.” He hopes to instill the same values in his boys. “The goal for everyone should always be to make the world a better place,” he says. “I want my kids to be leaders of the next generation.”

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Hendricks County Students Represent Team USA In BMX World Championships Writer / Jamie Hergott Photographer / Amy Payne

Drew Polk, 16, Reagan Rice, 10, and Nico Pareja, 16

NOVEMBER 2019

hen most kids think of BMX, they may think of watching the X Games on TV or even making makeshift jumps in their own yards for their bikes. When Nico Pareja, 16, Drew Polk, 16, and Reagan Rice, 10, think of BMX, they think of their most recent participation on the USA team in the BMX World Championships in Belgium in July. “It was the best thing ever,” Pareja says. “It was amazing.”

“It was the very best day of my entire life,” Rice says. For these Hendricks County students, participating in the World Championships was thrilling, but it was also simply another stepping stone into a lifelong love and participation in the sport. They all started young. Pareja, whose parents are from Columbia, began riding when he was eight years old. His dad happened across a Facebook post about an indoor BMX track downtown and decided to take his son to try it out.

Qualifying for the World Championships isn’t easy. All three have been racing since a very young age, and they have actively participated “I instantly loved it,” Pareja says. “I love that it’s more physical than in National races over the years. other sports. I rely more on my body to go where I want to go.” Riders accumulate points at National races and local races throughout the year. Top finishers and racers from all over the world gather for Grand Nationals, which takes place every year over Thanksgiving in Tulsa, Oklahoma. This race ultimately allows riders the opportunity to earn top spots in how they finish for the year in the Nation or National Age Group (NAG). In addition, there are two World Championship qualifier races in the U.S. each year. Riders must qualify for the main event at one of the qualifier races which then allows them to participate on the USA World Championship team, made up of 16 riders from each age group. The World Championships were in Belgium this year, and next year they’ll take place in Houston, Texas.

Two years ago, Pareja met Polk. Polk got his first motorcycle when he was three years old and began racing motocross at the age of four. He switched to racing BMX full-time once he was eight years old and has been extremely active in the sport ever since. He moved to Indianapolis in 2017, where he met Pareja. The boys bonded immediately over their shared BMX passion, eventually competing in National competitions together in 2018. That was a big year for Polk, who swept up four National wins, receiving second place in the nation and fifth at the Grand Nationals. He currently sits in second place in the nation for his age group.

Gathering and competing with the BMX family from around the world is something that can’t be expressed in words, according to Rice’s mother Jenny.

“And now we’re here,” Polk says, basking in the glow of participating in Worlds but also with his gaze fixed permanently on growing his career. “It’s all about you. It’s not a team sport. You’ll get out what you put into it. If you work hard, the results will show. It’s your body doing the work, there’s no engine.”

“Riders from all over the world compete against the best of the best,” she says. “There were kids from Europe, South Africa, even Japan. It’s like a huge family across the entire world.”

Rice, the youngest of the three, found her love for riding when she began on striders at the age of three. Her older brother was already racing BMX.

Between competitions, the Pareja and Rice families enjoyed Europe and even celebrated Pareja’s 16th birthday in Paris, touring France on a train, having breakfast near the Eiffel Tower, and taking scooters all over Paris.

“I got tired of watching him race,” Rice says. “I started racing when I was four years old, and I’ve been going to Nationals with my brother ever since.”

Polk agreed that participating in the World Championships was lifechanging. He has big plans for BMX, hoping to compete at the pro level. He’d like to attend college at Marian University to ride on their BMX team, and he even has his eye on the 2024 and 2028 Olympics. “Participating in Worlds was a huge accomplishment,” Polk says. “It was the highlight of my career being able to qualify for it.” Rice, also already talking about college at Marian at the tender age of 10, jumped in to describe something most 10-year-olds don’t even come close to experiencing.

She’s competed in many National races and achieved NAG 6 when she was six years old, which means her national point listing for all of her Nationals races earned her a NAG plate. She currently sits 24th in the nation for her age group. She loves the friendships she’s made and how her world has expanded far past the walls of her school. “You just meet a lot of amazing people,” she says, then looked in admiration at Polk and Pareja. “Like these guys.” There are only seven BMX tracks in Indiana, including Marian

NOVEMBER 2019

University, where there is a BMX team that also offers scholarships. All three students have their eyes on the team as well as the scholarship. Other tracks are in Evansville, Columbus, Warsaw, Hobart, Portage and Fort Wayne. The Portage track is indoor, and many riders travel there in the winter to train. Pareja, Polk and Rice train almost daily. All three take advantage of the Marian University track, and if they aren’t training on their bikes, they’re training by doing sprints, gate starts or strength training, and each of them works with a BMX trainer. With the amount of training involved, school might seem to take a back burner with students sometimes missing classes to participate in competitions. It turns out, however, that most kids who race BMX are excellent students. “Kids in this sport are outstanding,” Jenny says. “They get good grades, they are very respectful, they go out of their way to help one another, and you just won’t find better kids in a sport. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Polk says. “When you come out, it’s like a passion thing.” Polk gets school done in his free time and still maintains the honor roll as well as AP classes. That passion is also clear when the students are practicing at the track. It’s extremely common for experienced riders to reach out and help a newer rider through a jump of their own volition, not because a coach told them to, not because they were asked, but because they want to help other riders be better, be safe and do well. This leads to close friendships, and these three are no different. Even though the three compete against each other, they are a closeknit group. “These guys are the same age and compete against each other,” Jenny says. “But they root for each other and are each other’s biggest fans.”

Polk agrees, emphasizing that something about the sports drives him to excel in all areas of life.

Pareja’s parents appreciate the friendships as well as the time together as a family. His father, Jaime, says that the several days his family spends together as they travel for Pareja’s races is always a special time of bonding.

“It’s not like typical sports like baseball, basketball and football,”

“It’s not like football, where you’re together for an hour and a half and

NOVEMBER 2019

go home,” Jaime says. “We spend three days in a row together. Some camp, some get a hotel, some sleep at a friend’s house. We’re creating memories, something for them to have in the future that hopefully they’ll repeat with the next generation.” When the families found themselves together at the World Championships, the experience of a lifetime was also nervewracking for parents to watch. In fact, Carolina attended Worlds with Pareja while Jaime stayed home. Yet Carolina could hardly stand to watch her son during the race so Jaime watched from home in the United States and texted her updates. “I can’t stand to watch him,” she says laughing. “I never watch in real-time.” Even though these three students have reached the pinnacle by participating in the World Championships, all three will be in Tulsa, Oklahoma participating in Grand Nationals this Thanksgiving. Jenny agrees that sometimes it’s tough to watch the kids race, but it also makes her proud as a parent. “I hold my breath during some races,” Jenny says. “But I have such a sense of pride watching them. Seeing them, their camaraderie, the bond they’ve created, wearing the colors. I won’t lie, I cried. It’s so emotional. It’s scary and exhilarating and fun and exciting, all packed into 45 seconds or less.”

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IU Health West Hospital Growing to Meet Community Needs For nearly two years, team members at Indiana University Health West Hospital have been working to literally “raise the roof ” and open the hospital’s $84M expansion project. “Our ability to provide care to all of the patients who need us has been challenged by our capacity,” says Doug Puckett, president of the IU Health Indianapolis Suburban Region, which includes IU Health West, North, Saxony and Tipton hospitals. “We serve a growing community and have been proud to serve the people of Hendricks County and beyond since we opened in late 2004. This expansion sets the stage for IU Health and IU Health West to continue to be the first choice for patients in our market for years to come.” The IU Health West Hospital vertical expansion will increase the hospital’s inpatient capacity by more than 50%, adding 48 inpatient beds. It will add one floor to the hospital’s “B” inpatient tower, in addition to adding two NOVEMBER 2019

floors on the north side of the building (the “A” tower) to expand functional spaces including operating rooms, cath lab, lab, inpatient pharmacy, kitchen/cafe and classroom areas. The expansion also calls for additional parking.

beam in the structural frame. Hundreds of IU Health West team members signed the final two steel beams that were used in the ceremony, and the beams were elevated and dropped into place with a crane.

Earlier this year, on September 3, 2019, the hospital celebrated a major construction milestone — a topping out ceremony. Construction projects, including this one, traditionally hold a “toppingAvon out”4.75ceremony to mark the placement of the final steel x 7.125-AUGUST-OUTPUT-080219.pdf 1 8/2/2019 4:37:08 PM

The expansion at IU Health West Hospital will open in phases beginning mid-2020. Construction is taking place in phases, allowing the hospital to remain open during construction and is strategically planned to minimize disruption to patient care.

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Deb Ahern

The Courage to Leave One Woman’s Journey to Freedom & Fulfillment After Escaping Domestic Abuse Writer / Christy Heitger-Ewing Photography Provided by KelGrand Photography

It all started so sweetly, or so it seemed. Deb Ahern was working at a pharmaceutical company when she met Philip*, an EMT who showered her with attention. “He called me constantly and was always asking about me,” Ahern says. They began dating and later moved in together. It was only after they were living together that Ahern learned that Philip had a pregnant ex-girlfriend. But she loved her new boyfriend and stuck with him. Then, in July 1992, she became pregnant. The pair were married on Valentine’s Day 1993. Once Ahern became Philip’s bride, his attentiveness turned possessive as he demanded to know of his wife’s whereabouts 24/7. “He’d find fault with my friends so that I’d stop hanging out with them,” she says. “He also never wanted me to visit my parents.” It didn’t stop there. He began calling her at work to keep tabs on her and grilling her at night about who she talked to that day. He demanded that she come straight home from work and checked the mileage on her car to ensure that she did. He demeaned her with derogatory names and told her that her administrative assistant job was useless. “He said I was ugly and fat and that no one else would ever want me,” says Ahern, who internalized all of the negativity. She was pregnant with Tyler when Philip got angry and punched a bifold door that came off the hinges and landed on her. She tried putting the incident out of her head, but more unfolded, one after another. “Once I was holding Tyler on my shoulder when Philip started berating me for talking to men at work,” Ahern says. Philip’s eyes *name has been changed NOVEMBER 2019

got wide and his face turned hot with rage. Then he accused her of sleeping with her coworkers and smacked her across the face so hard she felt like her eye exploded. From there, the physicality escalated. He punched her in the jaw. He hit her in the head with skillets. He burned her with cigarette lighters. One day he beat her left side until she was gasping for air. “I saw hate and craziness in his eyes. I remember thinking that was the night he was going to kill me,” Ahern says. He fractured her ribs and left her side black and blue. One time, he accused her of flirting with a waiter. When she denied it, he repeatedly spit in her face. “It was so degrading,” Ahern says. After each abusive incident, Philip bought Deb red roses, promising never to do it again. But more fury always followed. Finally, one night she couldn’t take it anymore. She shuffled into the bathroom, void of dignity and hope, and searched the medicine cabinet for pills. She found a handful of narcotics left over from surgery and reasoned that it was the only way to escape her pain. She pressed the first pill to her lips when suddenly she spotted 3½-year-old Tyler out of the corner of her eye. He was standing in the doorway with his head cocked to the side like a curious puppy. “What are you doing, Mommy?” he asked innocently. In that instant, she abandoned her plan. “I knew I couldn’t leave this world,” Ahern says. “I’m here today because of Tyler.” Though she chose not to die, she didn’t know how to live. Then one day she saw a talk show where women were discussing their abusive marriages. “I realized I wasn’t alone,” Ahern says. Later that day, Philip stormed into the kitchen and issued a harrowing threat. “If you ever try to leave me,” he seethed, “I will cut you into so many pieces, no one will ever find you, not even your family!” Ahern realized that if she stayed with Philip, there was a real chance she wouldn’t survive. Soon thereafter, Philip began having panic attacks so doctors prescribed Paxil, which curbed the physical abuse. About that time, Ahern learned Philip had a girlfriend on the side. Between his fixation on the other woman and his new medication, Ahern felt empowered to break free from the relationship. She rented a small apartment for her and Tyler and, for the first time, they settled into a peaceful existence. It was a struggle making ends meet. The electricity, gas and phone were shut off when she couldn’t pay bills. And she and Tyler ate a

lot of mac-n-cheese. Nevertheless, life was beautiful in the absence of fear. “We painted Tyler’s bedroom bright yellow and danced to MC Hammer,” Ahern says. “We went on walks and bike rides.” Not that life was all rosy. Philip spewed hateful rhetoric about Ahern anytime he was alone with Tyler so that when Tyler returned from weekends with his dad, he’d holler, “I hate you, Mommy! You’re awful!” Ahern knew her boy was only repeating the narrative fed to him by his father. Still, it stung. Ultimately, she attended counseling to sort through her pain. She was shocked when her therapist told her she was suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Ahern thought only soldiers returning from war endured PTSD. “You went through your own war,” the counselor said. To help rebuild her self-esteem, Deb engaged in positive selftalk to replace the negative words that had played on loop in her mind for so long. Now she uplifts others by leaving sticky notes on windshields with messages like, “You’re beautiful,” “You matter,” and “You’re worthy.” In November 1997, Deb went on a blind date with an engineer named Jerry and they married in 1999. Since leaving her abusive marriage, Ahern has built a happy and successful life. Not only did she give birth to a daughter, Riley, in 2001, but she also became a registered nurse, worked as the assistant to a former Mayor of Indianapolis, ran her own legal nurse consulting business and is now the point person for recruiting 150 team members for IU Health West’s $83M, 50-inpatient bed expansion project as well as 26 positions for the upcoming Joe & Shelly Schwarz Cancer Center at IU Health North. She’s also currently earning her RN-BSN degree and has completed training and has volunteered at a golf outing for Sheltering Wings, a Christ-centered organization that provides emergency housing for survivors escaping domestic abuse. At Sheltering Wings, Ahern started a “butterfly blanket” project where she makes fleece blankets for moms and children with a butterfly in one corner and a handwritten note that encourages them to stay strong and reminds them that life will get better. “I’ve done more with my life after exiting the abusive situation than I did before,” says Ahern, who remains close to her ex-stepdaughter, Amanda and her two children who call her “Grandma Deb” even though they aren’t blood relatives. Ahern encourages any woman who is in an abusive situation to seek help. She recognizes how difficult this can be when one feels trapped in a cycle of abuse but promises that life can and does get better when you tell someone you trust who can help you escape. “It seems easier to comply with the abuser’s requests than to fight back and risk getting hurt again,” Ahern adds. “But you are worth it. You can survive. Abuse is not the end of the road. I’m living proof.”

NOVEMBER 2019

Signs of Domestic Abuse The following are 8 signs of mental and emotional abuse used by one person to gain power and control over another: 1. Intensity Lying or exaggerating, over-the-top gesture, bombarding you with texts or calls 2. Jealousy — Behaving irrationally when you have a new friend, accusing you of cheating, demanding to know your whereabouts 3. Control — Telling you how to dress, checking your phone, following you, withholding money 4. Isolation — Insisting you only spend time with them, preventing you from seeing friends, forbidding you from leaving the house 5. Criticism — Calling you overweight, ugly, stupid, brainwashing you to feel worthless 6. Sabotage — Making you miss work or school by starting a fight, hiding your money, keys or phone, destroying your self-esteem 7. Blame — Making you feel guilty, blaming you for their problems 8. Anger — Overreacting to small problems, violent outbursts, threatening to hurt you or your loved ones, making you feel afraid For help, call 800-799-SAFE or visit endabuse4good.org Source: EndAbuse4Good

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Shane Ray

LIFE ON THE AIRWAVES BROWNSBURG RADIO PERSONALITY MENTORS STUDENTS WHO WANT TO FOLLOW IN HIS FOOTSTEPS Writer / Christy Heitger-Ewing

Shane Ray’s interest in music and radio was born not long after he was. At just five years old, his father took him on a tour of a friend’s radio station. After watching the DJ spin records, Ray was hooked. As a teenager, he volunteered at the public access channel and landed a job at a local AM community radio station.

“That was back in the days of records and tapes and doing things manually,” Ray says. When he moved to Brownsburg in 2001, the only local station that was still located in the county was WKLU. When it moved to Indianapolis, people in the area missed the local flavor on the airwaves. In an effort to resurrect a radio presence in the community, he put together a low-

powered AM/Internet oldies station and incorporated high school sports as well as community programming. He also included interviews with local officials and spotlighted local news. Students from area high schools and colleges with hopes of pursuing a broadcasting career frequently asked Ray if he would give them some on-air time to hone their skills.

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“Caught in a Catch-22, none of the big stations would give these kids an opportunity until they got some experience, but they couldn’t get any experience until somebody gave them an opportunity,” says Ray, who wanted to help aspiring DJs learn the ropes and mitigate their nerves. Unfortunately, the AM station was largely automated, but he told them that he was waiting for a window of opportunity to open that would enable him to start a local FM station. In 2012, Congress passed the Community Radio Act. During the FCC (Federal Communications Commission) open application period, Ray (with the Hendricks County Educational Media Corporation) applied for an FM license. The only requirements by the FCC were that the station be nonprofit and low-

powered FM. Ray found his window, and the students were happy to feel the breeze. In October 2015, 98.9 WYRZ began operation, and in the last four years Ray has invited

students from Brownsburg High School and Vincennes University to intern. Two of his former proteges have gone on to work at other stations. Although it’s bittersweet to see his students go,

Ray mentors a recent intern. 26 / BROWNSBURG MAGAZINE / NOVEMBER 2019 / BrownsburgMagazine.com

full of records or have someone on staff all the time, the other side of that is that you lose a lot of the personality.” Ray mentions the legends he grew up listening to — Wolfman Jack and Casey Kasem.

he’s thrilled for them to spread their wings and do what they love — just as he has done for the past 28 years. In that time, he’s witnessed the evolution of technology. “I started out doing live announcing and playing records and reel-to-reel tapes,” says Ray, who vividly recalls the moment the first CD player was brought into the station. When the automated computer arrived, that was a true turning point.

“You won’t see people like that anymore,” Ray says. “They’re casualties of the changing technologies.”

When Ray describes the “olden days” to his apprentices, their eyes grow wide. “You mean you actually had to sit here for hours, talking and playing records?” they ask, mystified. “I give them not only an education on how to do things but also the history of radio,” says Ray, who for years held the 4 p.m. to midnight shift. “Though it’s nice to not have to sift through a room

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isn’t on air, mentoring students, or acting as audio engineer, is out selling radio spots and working on fundraisers to keep the station afloat. Ray is grateful to his wife, Teresa, for her unwavering support through the years. He also appreciates his board, staff & volunteer radio personalities who help make the station great.

Through the years, Ray has interviewed Charlie Daniels, Terry Sylvester of the Hollies, and Gary Lewis of Gary Lewis & the Playboys. These musicians all told Ray the same thing: “Wow. You really know the history of the records, the chart positions and the producers!”

“My life is fun,” Ray says. “It’s like they say — if you enjoy your job, you never go to work.”

That’s one thing Ray stresses to the students he mentors — to prepare for interviews by doing the research.

“I’ve always loved all aspects of radio,” Ray says. “It’s a blessing, and I thank God all the time that I’m able to do it and give back doing it.”

“Folks really respect when you’ve done your homework,” says Ray, who when he

Scott agrees, noting that when people ask him what he does for a living, he responds, “I play on the radio.”

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Ryan Feeney, landed the Super Bowl of sculpting jobs when he was picked as the lead sculptor of the Peyton Manning statue.

SCULPTING A LEGEND LOCAL ARTIST TALKS ABOUT CREATING THE PEYTON MANNING STATUE Writer / Lynda Hedberg Thies Photographer / Jamie Sangar

His attention to detail and work ethic are legendary. He is humble and kind and has a great sense of humor. He is willing to share the credit for his success, and he has left a legacy in the city. Sounds like Peyton Manning? Meet Ryan Feeney. Ryan Feeney may have never played a day in a Colts jersey, but he won the Super Bowl of sculpting jobs when he was chosen from a very competitive field of artists from both the East and West Coast to create the larger than life statue of the iconic Peyton Manning. Feeney fell in love with art when he was just 5 years old and only 7 when he created his first oil painting. While other kids were out playing games in the neighborhood, Feeney was either working on art projects or taking art classes with his mom. His talent was evident, so his parents enrolled him at Shortridge Junior High School for

their Art Magnet program. While he played sports throughout his childhood, nothing really grabbed his attention, but his parents insisted he participate. Feeney’s involvement in athletics changed when the 5-foot-6 freshman came to Cathedral High School. He knew he was too small to play football, so for three years he ran track and cross country. By his senior year, he was well entrenched in his art classes along with his other academics, but his art teacher, Barb Velonis, took him under her wing and mentored Feeney. She also introduced him to 3D drawing, which sealed the deal on his desire to pursue a college degree in design. But he was also craving the opportunity to play a contact sport, and that is when he discovered rugby. Feeney found a rugby club at Lawrence North but soon realized that the travel time was cutting into his practice time. So, the coaches suggested he start a club at Cathedral. He could have just dropped the idea because he was about to graduate, but that was not Feeney.

So, in 1992, Feeney’s senior year, he started a Rugby Club at Cathedral. He found a couple of coaches, and he advertised the program and invited anyone to play so long as they did not have a school program, they could sign up for the Cathedral program. The first season the program finished in the middle of the pack. Today, the club is one of the premier programs in the country. Royal Irish Rugby, a 25-year-old program, has won four National Championships in the past six years and played the championship game both years they didn’t win. “There is no way to truly measure what rugby has done for this community because it constantly grows. What started as a small club here on the northeast side of Indy has now become a dominant program that has held the number one ranking for most of the last seven years,” says Dave Snyder, Royal Irish Rugby Coach. Feeney’s legacy with the rugby program has led the club to create a “Ryan Feeney Founders Award,” given to players that need support to keep playing the game.

28 / BROWNSBURG MAGAZINE / NOVEMBER 2019 / BrownsburgMagazine.com

Feeney went to Miami University of Ohio to study Art and Design but was also able to continue playing rugby while a student there. The focus of his time at Miami was working on his skills. He even received his first commission when he was a senior there, and his professors supported him through the process. He graduated from Miami with a Bachelors of Fine Arts and a double major in graphic design and sculpture. He started his career working in the art and graphic design department for a corporation and soon realized that he did not have as much time to work on doing what he loved, which involved designing statues. In 1999, Feeney joined the Indianapolis Fire Department because the 24 hours on, 48 hours off gave him the flexibility to spend more time sculpting. By the time he launched his design business, Indy Art Forge, he already had four bronze statues out around the city. “Most guys at the station had a second job mowing lawns and landscaping, mine just happened to be in a studio,” Feeney says. By the time the Colts announced that they were going to build a Peyton Manning statue, Feeney already had 15 public statues on his resume. But this job was the biggest he had ever tackled, and his competition had bigger portfolio’s and even a staff of people to work on the project. Feeney was working as a firefighter and is a married father of two children, but he went for it anyway. The interview process proved intimidating and the competition’s portfolio’s daunting. Colts Chief Operating Officer Pete Ward told him he had the weakest portfolio of everyone, and the other sculptors had even submitted a scaled down sculpture of Peyton. “I don’t have the portfolio as these big-city sculptors that have five other artists working for me to do the work,” he recalls. ‘How could I compete,’ he thought to himself?” But then he noticed that all the sculptors had left off the helmet. Knowing Peyton

was the ultimate detail person, he promised a statue to them in three days and returned with the replica wearing a helmet and even included the wire strap, which the others had left off. So, he thought he got their attention. “We will not go to step one or step two without your approval or go from two to three without your approval,” Feeney told Pete Ward. “I said, ‘If you hire me, living local, you can have input and involvement at every stage. I won’t get it right the first time, if I do, I’m lucky, but I always like to have other people look at it and tweak it.’” Feeney’s reputation, attention to detail and physical location gave the Colts unprecedented access to work closely on the project without the expense of travelling to another state. They also loved that his vendors worked in the city, which meant it would benefit the community. They chose Feeney and arranged for him to fly to Nashville, Tennessee to photograph Manning in a conference room at the hanger to begin the process. His first meeting was a bit intimidating, but he got right to work as the Colts photographer snapped more than 400 photos. Throughout the process of building the 9-foot-1 Manning figure, he worked with the Colts Equipment Manager, Ward and others to ensure that at every stage everyone was happy with the process and his progress. Like other projects he had worked on, he had a team of people involved, and when he was finished, he was confident Manning would like it but had to wait until the public unveiling of the project before he knew for sure. In 2017, around 25,000 people gathered in Indianapolis to participate in the unveiling. The unveiling ceremony included A-list dignitaries, including David Letterman, former Governor Mitch Daniels, and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Colts owner Jim Irsay, former coach Tony Dungy and General Manager Bill Polian along with former players such as Jeff Saturday. Feeney was beyond thrilled. He felt

confident that Peyton would like the statue because he had so many people that participated in the project along the way. Peyton came to the podium, looked over at Feeney and said, “Good job” before delivering his speech. Immediately after the ceremony, Manning, who had been all business at the meeting in Nashville, greeted him warmly and thanked him for his effort. He then asked if he could introduce him to his mom, Olivia Manning. She greeted Feeney warmly and said, “The profile is perfect from where I stand, if he didn’t have the number or name on the jersey, even if it was a silhouette in the middle of the night, just in that stance alone, I would know it was Peyton.”

Feeney knew that no one knows Peyton better than his mom, so to have her approval meant a lot. The day concluded with a private reception. “It was so cool, I felt like an A- lister,” Feeney says. Before any of the accolades could go to his head, he knew his fire station pals would make sure to bring his feet back to earth. Still, Feeney has taken time to reflect on his success. “Enjoy what you do because then it won’t feel like work,” he says. “Money is money until you work at a job you hate. I have two jobs, I’m not rich, but I love what I do.”

We believe in loving, serving, and including all people. No exceptions. The people of Good Samaritan Episcopal Church invite you to journey together with us as we examine our own biases, privileges, and stories of race and ethnicity, working toward God’s dream of a beloved community for all. Join us for any or all of these special events.

Multicultural Music Workshop with Ana Hernandez

Come experience how singing and music can connect and grow community across cultures and differences. Ana is a theomusicologist and occasional song leader with Music That Makes Community and the Poor People’s Campaign. She’s a collector of short songs and chant tunes for all ages.

Pub Theology with Dr. Scott Shoemaker

Dr. Shoemaker is a member of the Miami Nation of Indiana, and is a curator at the Eitlejorg Museum. Tuesday, November 12, 6:00 p.m. at Green Street Pub (911 N. Green Street, Brownsburg).

Worship with The Rev. Mihee Kim-Kort

Saturday, November 2, 10:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. at Elevate (7230 Arbuckle Commons, Brownsburg).

Rev. Kim-Kort is a Presbyterian minister and author of Outside the Lines: How Embracing Queerness Will Transform Your Faith.

Ana will also be our guest for worship on Sunday, November 3, 10:00 a.m. at Harris Academy (725 S. Green Street, Brownsburg).

Implicit Bias: What’s Hidden Within

Implicit Bias is something we all have. This workshop examines what it is, how it differs from overt bias, how to recognize our own, and how we move past bias through action. Join us for selfexploration, self-reflection, and discussion led by professional facilitators from the Peace Learning Center in a brave, encouraging space. Saturday, November 9, 9:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. at Harris Academy.

Sunday, December 8, 10:00 a.m. at Harris Academy.

Pub Theology with Dr. Terri Jett

Dr. Jett is the Associate Professor of Political Science and Special Assistant to the Provost for Diversity and Inclusivity at Butler University. Tuesday, January 14, 6:00 p.m. at Green Street Pub.

Followers of Jesus, with open minds and hearts to serve. Sundays at 10:00 a.m. at Harris Academy 725 South Green Street, Brownsburg

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