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BACK FROM THE BRINK AND ONTO THE LINKS Hendricks County Man Overcomes Addiction to Become a Golf Pro
24 HEART SCANS Who Should Get One? 25
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TIES THAT BIND IndyBlended Helps to Strengthen Marriages and Stepfamilies 16
WORLD WONDERS Hendricks County International Festival Focuses on Cultural Enrichment 20 ANIMAL NATURE Appreciating Our Pets and Other Animals of the World
LOVE WINS Upcoming 5K and One-Mile Fun Run Will Benefit Vulnerable Children and Families
FINDING THEIR RHYTHM Brownsburg Bands Tune Up for Exciting 2023-2024 Season
KEY CONTRIBUTORS
CURT MOSS / JAMIE HERGOTT / CHRISTY HEITGER-EWING STEPHANIE SINGH / TARA DORSETT / DR. ZIAD JARADAT BRYNN COCHRAN / MELISSA GIBSON
hen Clay Cox picked up golf at age 16, he was a natural.
“I clicked with golf and really loved the game,” says Cox, who played during his junior and senior years of high school. Soon after leaving for Indiana State University, however, partying took center stage.
“I struggled with self-identify, but in college I felt accepted as this fun party boy,” Cox says. “I was also a big fish in a little pond.”
He justified his behavior by telling himself that he was fine since his grades hadn’t slipped. But then he tried Adderall, a stimulant that’s used to treat ADHD. He found it improved his productivity so he continued taking it, in combination with alcohol. He got arrested for consumption as a minor, which only made him cooler in his buddies’ eyes.
“It was a badge of honor,” Cox says.
The following year he moved back to Hendricks County and enrolled at Ivy Tech. One day he was complaining of a headache and someone offered him Vicodin, a low-dose opioid.
“This was my first introduction to that little world of happiness pills,” says Cox, who spent the next year smoking pot and drinking alcohol.
Then at age 23 he took Oxycontin, a strong pain reliever that can become habit-forming.
Even though, in the back of his mind, he knew that his behavior would take a toll over time, he fell deeper and deeper into addiction. By the time he was 25 he needed drugs to be able to function.
“I couldn’t start my day until I got a text from my dude telling me he had drugs for me,” Cox says. “It was a physical thing. My body needed this to function, like water. My morality was gone. My money was gone. My respect was gone. All that mattered to me was getting high.”
Over a three-year period, he pushed away his family and all of his true friends.
“I was ashamed that this is where I was, a 27-year-old who was now dating a hardcore alcoholic who drank pints of vodka for breakfast,” Cox says.
On New Year’s Eve he got wasted, fired and dumped all in the same night. He moved in with his dad. Soon thereafter, COVID shut everything down, which, for a drug addict, was the perfect storm because the government sent him money every week, which enabled him to feed his addiction.
In the summer of 2020 he began dating a girl who also had a love affair with opiates. At this point Cox had racked up a $3,000 debt and got his hands on Oxymorphone, a medicine used for cancer patients. His girlfriend told him heroin was cheaper than the drugs he was taking.
“I had a two-week bout of me snorting heroin,” Cox says. “I felt and looked like a zombie. During this time I stayed completely off the radar because I owed people money. It was hard to even sneak out to the store or the gas station. One day it hit me that I was either going to die or end up in jail.”
He knew the only way to get his life back was to tell his mom about everything he had been doing. He thought it was going to be a revelation to her, but she said she had already been attending PAL (Parents of Addicted Loved Ones) meetings for a year.
He also went to his boss at West Chase Golf Club in Brownsburg and unloaded the whole ugly truth.
“I said, ‘Here’s what I’ve been doing. I’m not doing it anymore, but if you ever see me act differently, bring it up,’” says Cox, who is now the director of golf and instruction at West Chase, where he is an accredited PGA golf pro. He teaches people of all ages the game of golf.
For the longest time, Cox struggled to regain his self-esteem because of his past relationship with drugs. Even as he gained confidence through golf, he second-guessed his worth.
“I’d make six birdies in a row and think, ‘But you’re playing at your home club, so that doesn’t really count,’” he says. Now he knows that that’s his past addiction talking, and that his opinions do matter.
“I hold weight when I talk about golf because I’m an expert at it,” he says. There’s proof of that all around him, including the
fact that one of his students recently won a Hendricks County tournament.
“It’s cool to know that I’m more than just my past,” he says. “Golf is what keeps me going.”
And because Cox is forthright about his past addiction, he’s had clients confide that they, too, could use some help.
“I’ve had guys tell me, ‘I’ve been drinking five days a week for 20 years. I’m really struggling, bro,’” Cox says.
Indeed, his instruction sometimes extends beyond simply swinging the club and hitting the ball.
Clay was two weeks sober when he learned that his girlfriend had died of an overdose. Her death became a constant reminder of what drugs can do.
“Drugs don’t care about your last name or where you come from or how much money you make,” Cox says. “You can’t buy life.”
For Cox, staying clean involved a lot of measures including meditation, mindfulness and golf. He still recalls the first time he walked the golf course sober, being mindful of each step he took as he felt the wind on his face and listened to the leaves rustle in the trees.
Cox’s advice to others who are trying to get clean and sober is to take accountability in your life.
“At the end of the day, your gut won’t lie to you,” he says.
Cox is grateful to greet each new day. He’s happy to kiss his girlfriend good morning and take his dog, Charlie, for a walk.
“I’m truly excited every day I wake up,” he says. “It’s so nice to have that fire for life again and to make my day my own.”
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The 33,000 sq. ft. Hendricks County 4-H Conference Center offers great flexibility and versitility for your next meeting, seminar, banquet, or wedding reception
The 33,000 sq. ft. Hendricks County 4-H Conference Center offers great flexibility and versitility for your next meeting, seminar, banquet, or reception
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• Nine conference classrooms and boardrooms
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• Complete commercial kitchen
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• 12,000 sq. ft. multi-purpose auditorium
• 24’ x 36’ stage
• 24’ x 36’ stage
• Easy load-in areas with overhead door
• Easy load-in areas with overhead door
• High ceilings
• High ceilings
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• Epoxy covered flooring
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• ADA accessibility
DANVILLE | 1900 East Main St. 317-718-6153 | www.4HComplex.org
DANVILLE | 1900 East Main St. 317-718-6153 | www.4HComplex.org
Mark and Jennifer Strege first met in a grief group in 2004 after experiencing unspeakable tragedies in their lives. Now, almost 20 years later, they share their story of healing and redemption by supporting stepfamilies in the Indianapolis area through workshops and counseling, with their nonprofit agency called IndyBlended, Inc.
IndyBlended’s mission is to cultivate community among blended families, share practical strategies for strengthening stepfamilies, and provide information that would otherwise have to be learned through years of painful trial and error.
“Seventy percent of remarriages with kids fail within two to three years,” Mark says. “We want to help couples get through that and know there’s a long-term payoff. We want them to know their struggles
are typical, and that they’re not the only ones experiencing it. They aren’t dysfunctional.”
Forty percent of families are blended, which means the family consists of a couple and children from the current and previous relationships. One-third of all marriages are remarriages. Even with these numbers, there are no organized, community-based or churchbased support organizations in Indiana.
IndyBlended, Inc. was created to fill this gap.
Mark and Jennifer teach from their own years of experience and research. They want people to know they are not alone. While their 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization was formed last fall, the couple has spent months researching and putting together material for their workshops, created out of their own painful trials.
In 2004 Jennifer’s husband at the time was struggling with severe depression and decided to take his life, leaving Jennifer behind with their 5-year-old daughter. That same year, Mark’s wife at the time was driving with their three small children, lost control of her car and collided with a pickup truck. His wife and 10-year-old daughter did not survive.
Jennifer and Mark found themselves clinging to hope in a grief group,
supporting each other as friends who endured something most people couldn’t imagine. Jennifer admired Mark for his tenacious faith, and when they began to date, they had a very positive outlook on potentially bringing both families together.
Eventually they married. What they
thought would be fitting together simple puzzle pieces turned out to be much more complicated.
“Our outlook was very positive and we had almost no fear,” Jennifer says. “I thought it’d be great because God was with us, and I knew we’d work really hard.”
Mark was reading a book about stepfamilies at the time, and the book stated that it took seven years for the average stepfamily to come together.
“I was like, ‘My God is not a God of statistics. It will not take us seven years. It will take us seven days,’” Jennifer says. “In reality it took us more like 12 years. We want to now share from our experiences and insights from experts, to help other stepfamilies advance in their relationships much more quickly.”
There was so much at play in bringing their families together that Mark and Jennifer felt almost blindsided. They realized they hadn’t considered their kids’ perspectives.
“The kids were outliers,” Jennifer says. “They said, ‘We did not choose this.’ We had a lot of grief coming in from all different personalities.”
She admits their first flaw was not considering their kids’ personalities, birth orders and individual grief. In fact, she had been wanting to have another child with Mark, but their struggles made her think twice. One month later, she found out she was pregnant with a daughter. This child became a glue that helped to bring the family together, but it still took years.
“It’s all very typical,” Mark says. “When stepfamilies are remarried, kids have their own journey of recovery through brokenness or grief that’s happened. Typically spouses are the ones moving ahead, and kids have to be cared for so they’re not left behind. We cover that in our stepfamily workshop.”
Mark feels the need for stepfamily support is tremendous. He says churches tend to avoid the topic due to the stigma of divorce, and many counseling agencies are not trained in the stepfamily dynamic. He says many topics are covered about marriage and parenting, but typically from the biological perspective.
Workshop topics include stepfamily
parenting, stages of stepfamily development, priorities of a healthy remarriage, co-parenting, and parenting with emotional intelligence, to name a few. Their workshops also offer smallgroup time, led by couples who have experienced the unique challenges of having a blended family.
Jennifer and Mark lean heavily on their faith but don’t push it at their workshops.
“God has done such incredible work through this process, and personally we’ve seen him so close to us through this,” Mark says. “We share a little bit of our faith through the workshop, but we don’t hit people over the head with it. God shows up and that makes it all worth it. There are things as humans we can’t control. He loves us, and has a plan and purpose for each of our lives.”
Mark and Jennifer intentionally made the workshops affordable, with each
workshop lasting 10 hours throughout a day and a half, at a cost of only $30, which includes everything.
“It represents over four months of intensive stepfamily therapy,” Mark says. “It can help take the place of years of doing trial-and-error of stepfamily living. The value is tremendous. Women will often recognize the value quicker than men, but I like to speak to the guys and say this is worth it.”
Their main message is hope. The couple has persevered through so much, and they experience the richness of a blended family now. They want to share all they’ve learned to support other families and help them do the same.
“Growing up as part of a stepfamily, I know that divorce isn’t an end,” Jennifer says. “God redeems everything. We didn’t have divorce as part of our current family story, but everyone can begin again with hope.”
They’ve presented pilot workshops, and will host their first weekend workshops in August and November. Registration is open and can be found at indyblended. com.
At workshops, attendees work on a stepfamily action plan, and have a mentor couple to contact for the times when they need extra support for ongoing connection. Mark and Jennifer want stepfamilies to know they aren’t alone in their struggles, they aren’t dysfunctional, and they can have a thriving family life.
“We just want people to have hope,” Jennifer says. “We want people to know they’re not alone, there’s support, there’s encouragement and there’s help. You can stick with it. It will be a beautiful thing in the end.”
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Indiana’s third season of the year is known to bring us fall foliage, pumpkins, apple cider, hayrides and football. In Hendricks County, fall is also the time to celebrate our cultural differences. On the first Saturday in October, the Hendricks County International Festival (HCIF) brings people together to celebrate and explore cultures from around the world through dance, food and conversation. This year, the HCIF is relocating to a county staple, The Shops at Perry Crossing, bringing new energy to the event. The fourth annual HCIF is a free, family-friendly event, lasting from 11 a.m. until 3 p.m.
The rich colors, the unique sounds and the tasty cuisines are what bring us all together. In an effort to break down the barriers around our differences, event organizers are putting a special emphasis on food this year. Over 10 different food vendors will be present offering cuisines from around the world. While grabbing a bite to eat, patrons will have the opportunity to set up lawn chairs to view dance performances from India, Africa, Japan and other regions around the world.
Some of the most educational aspects of the festival are the cultural exhibit booths, ranging from henna tattoos to living-room setups encouraging attendees to really step in the shoes of
those from other cultures.
Farah Effendi, an HCIF exhibitor, praises the mission of the last year’s festival. Effendi felt so moved by the event, she has since joined the planning committee. Farah, having had some negative experiences due to her race in the community, says this event shows how far we’ve come as a county. “Seeing this [event], having the International Festival - Islamic, Pakistan, all these different cultures, and the different dances from other countries - this is a huge step for this community,” Effendi says.
Farah is not alone. The sense of pride this event brings to the residents and visitors of Hendricks County radiates on that first Saturday in October. While we are celebrating our differences, we are sharing our similarities at the same time.
As the community grows, the diversity within it does as well. The HCIF planning
committee is intentional in looking for other cultures to spotlight during the four-hour event. New this year will be presence from Bangladesh, Peru and China. The Chinese lion dance, which is a form of traditional dance in Chinese culture in which performers mimic a lion’s movements in a lion costume to bring good luck and fortune, will move throughout the festival.
Festivalgoers will have plenty of opportunities to participate in different activities as well, including Chinese lantern painting, making their mark with “hands around the world,” and painting in the park, all focused on cultural enrichment.
Mark your calendars! Also, it is not too late to participate as a sponsor, vendor or volunteer. Visit hcinternationalfestival.com to learn how to support the HCIF mission.
For a better us.®
The YMCA teaches kids more than just sports skills. We teach confidence and character-building.
When I was 9 years old, my fourth-grade teacher gave my class a writing assignment. We had to answer the question, “What would you do with a million dollars and why?” While my classmates were scribbling about the houses and cars they would buy, and the places they would visit, I wrote one sentence: “I would buy a zoo and make sure everyone could afford to visit as much as they wanted so they could learn about animals.” While my originality impressed my teacher, he still wanted a full-page essay. Here is that essay from a slightly more grown-up perspective.
Whether you believe Darwin’s theory or the Genesis account of life, there is one fact they both agree on - animals existed before humans. There must be a reason for that, but I will leave that up to you to find out. Throughout the centuries, animals have played a prominent role in history. Horses carried settlers and explorers across the country. Cattle and sheep provided food and helped clear the land. Cats and ferrets controlled the rodent population on ships. Pigeons carried messages. Dogs patrolled land and guarded livestock.
While we view animals a little differently today, they still have an important role to play in our lives. They provide help, companionship and entrainment. Even wild animals contribute to our welfare. Raccoons are natural gardeners. They till the land with their long claws as they search for rodents and worms. Possums and birds eat bugs that destroy crops and spread disease. Trees grow from nuts and seeds that are buried and forgotten by squirrels. Animals can make us laugh with amusement or sigh with frustration, but life will never be dull with animals around. Life is less lonely and more complete with animals beside us.
I believe people fall into three categories when you mention animals - they dislike all living creatures, they like their own pets and tolerate other critters for short periods of time, or they love critters of all kinds and can be particularly obsessed with their own pets.
For the people who dislike the animal world, I will only say that I believe you are missing out on a great part of life.
To the people who like their own pets and extend a certain amount of tolerance to others, you are off to a good start and balance out the third group.
For the people in the third group, I applaud your crazy obsession with all things furred, finned, feathered and scaled.
Whatever group you fall into, take some time to learn about the nonhuman beings around you. Walk through a park, read a book, add a feeder to your yard, watch a documentary. Maybe your opinion of animals will change and grow.
Someday, when my zoo expands beyond dogs, cats, ferrets, birds, fish, rabbits, lizards, tortoises, goats, pigs, raccoons, skunks and possums, I hope you will visit often.
THERE’S NOTHING LIKE FALL IN OUR LITTLE CORNER OF THE WORLD. BECAUSE THERE’S SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE.
Go for a hayride and pick a pumpkin; have some laughs on a surrey cart ride; saddle up for a trail ride; explore the archery and sporting clays range; get your kicks at FootGolf; maybe even squeeze in some pool time while the warm weather lasts.
Your whole crew will fall in love with all there is to experience here this season.
Anyone who is overweight, smokes or has high blood pressure could be at risk for heart disease. Patients can find out their risk with a heart or vascular scan. They are convenient, simple, and can help detect heart disease before it becomes a problem.
To be eligible for a heart scan, you must not have had one within the last five years, and must be 40 to 79 years of age with one of several risk factors. If you have a family history of heart-related issues, your risk may be higher. Almost one-third of coronary heart disease deaths are attributed to smoking and exposure to secondhand smoke, according to the American Heart Association.
Additionally, at least 65% of people with diabetes die from some form of heart disease or stroke. Obesity is another risk factor. As your body mass index increases, so does the plaque inside your coronary arteries. This reduces the supply of oxygen-rich blood to the heart, and results in a higher risk of angina or heart attack. High blood pressure (HPB) exerts extra force on your arteries, which could lead to blood clots, fat and plaque buildup, and damaged organs. People with HPB are at a higher risk of stroke and heart failure.
An option to check for vascular disease is a vascular scan. To be eligible, you must be 50 years of age or older, with one of several risk factors. People with a family history of heart issues and aortic aneurysms have a higher risk of stroke. Men who have smoked and are between
the ages of 65 and 75 should be screened at least once for an aneurysm, according to the U.S. Preventative Services Task Force. Smokers are at an increased risk for all vascular diseases, including peripheral arterial disease, stroke, heart attack, abdominal aortic aneurysm and subsequent death. Together, smoking and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease also increase the risk of stroke. High blood pressure increases your risk for heart and vascular-related conditions.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about eight out of every 10 people who have their first stroke have high blood pressure. Another risk factor is high cholesterol. When there is too much cholesterol in the blood, it builds up in the walls of your arteries. Over time, this buildup can slow the blood flow to your heart and cause a heart attack.
The Love Wins 5K and one-mile walk/run will be hosted at Jamestown Christian Church on Saturday, September 23 starting at 8 a.m. Registration opens at 7:15 a.m.
Love Wins is an event put on by Broken Together Ministries, a registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit. This ministry was created out of a passion to share resources our state and local communities offer to the adopting and fostering community, and to the most vulnerable among us.
Author Curt Thompson said the following his book “The Soul of Shame”: “We all are born into the world looking for someone looking for us.” Broken Together Ministries seeks to highlight some of those resources that offer many levels of help and hope to the most vulnerable people in our state and local communities.
From adopting and fostering to single parenting, doing life alone often isn’t the solution. There are organizations with people who want to help, and give their resources to help others live a healthier, more fulfilling life. Whether you know someone in need, are curious about the resources our state offers to vulnerable kids and families, or just want to compete in a fun run, this is your event. The connections you make at this event could be life-changing.
All proceeds go toward funding the race and Isaiah 117 House of Hendricks, Boone and Montgomery counties. This home is giving hope to our children entering the foster care system. Their vision of helping the children entering our foster care system will make a positive impact for all involved. These are the very resources our state and communities need for generations to come. To learn more about Isaiah 117 House, visit isaiah117house.com.
Some other resources that will be present at the event include the Willow Center of Brownsburg, Hands of Hope, the Indiana Department of Child Services of Montgomery County, Hope Center Indy and more.
The Love Wins event starts with a morning run/walk, and organizers hope that people from all walks of life will join to celebrate the redemptive resources many organizations offer for vulnerable families and children.
Find registration info at runsignup.com/race/in/jamestown/ lovewins. Kids 6 and under can participate at no cost. Participation for kids and teens aged 7 to 16 is $15. Also check out the event Facebook page @LoveWinsEvent.
If you are interested in volunteering, donating or sponsoring, please contact the race director at hiswilljeremiah2911@gmail.com.
For those following the Brownsburg High School band program, it won’t be a surprise that they are gearing up for a new and exciting season in 2023-2024.
For those who don’t follow Brownsburg bands - you’re missing out.
The 2022-2023 school year brought five different band ensembles to the state finals, which was a first in the school corporation’s band program history.
The marching band and guard placed fourth in the Indiana State School Musical Association (ISSMA) competition. Brownsburg made the national finals for the first time, and tied for seventh place at the BOA Grand Nationals.
Brownsburg’s winter guard placed sixth in Winter Guard International (WGI) World Championships, and earned first place at the Indiana High School Color Guard Association state finals.
The winter percussion group took second place at the Indiana Percussion Association state finals, and earned a bronze medal at the WGI Percussion World Championship with a score of 96.3, the highest score in the program’s history.
Concert band, freshman band, wind ensemble and symphonic band, as well as the philharmonic orchestras, freshman orchestra and Brownsburg symphony orchestra, all received a gold rating through various ISSMA competitions.
Behind all of last year’s success are Codirectors Chris Kaflik and Chris Paulson, and they’re excited to do it again in the 2023-2024 school year.
Kaflik got an early start in his music career, joining the band in the sixth grade at Carmel. He attended Ball State University for music education, and spent time early in his career with the nationally recognized Broken Arrow Marching Band in Oklahoma. In 2015 he moved back to Brownsburg.
“I was excited about the opportunity because Brownsburg is a great area,” Kaflik says. “We have a great band, but there was a lot of room
to improve on what the band could do. I feel like things were prime to really take off when I got here, and we’ve seen progressive growth over the years.”
Paulson is also a Ball State University graduate and has had a passion for music for as long as he can remember.
“I got my feet wet working with the band at Carmel, and then worked with Penn High
School and Jefferson High School,” Paulson says. “This will be my second year with Brownsburg and I am super excited to be working with a like-minded team.”
While the two oversee the marching band, four concert bands and color guard, they also have a large staff, including those at the middle school level, specializing in a variety of music areas and helping students to hone in on their specific skills.
Kaflik believes the success, in addition to a specialized staff, stems from a focused goal of establishing a culture of excellence in every Brownsburg band program.
“When you set higher standards, students will work to reach those standards,” Kaflik says. “Our subject is so unique that we have to demand near perfection with every performance. If you can imagine sitting in a
math class or biology class and you score 90% on a test, you’re feeling pretty good. But if we step onto a stage and perform at 90%, you would be shocked at how bad we sound.”
Those higher standards have paid off, as Brownsburg’s band members are setting themselves apart and getting noticed within the community, state and across the country.
“The wind ensemble was invited to perform at the Indiana Music Education Association conference in January,” Kaflik says. “This is the first time we’ve played there, and Chris and I were just talking about what five or six pieces we’d like to play. It’s a big deal to receive the invitation, and a stepping stone for longerterm goals.”
Much of the focus on the band program overall is placed squarely on the shoulders of the marching band members. They are out on the football field throughout the fall, and serve as the more visible area of the program in parades, events and other activities.
However, it’s invitations like the one from the Indiana Music Education Association that stand out to the directors.
“I kind of chuckle when people talk about the band program breaking records, because it’s such a small part of what we do,” Paulson says. “Yes, there’s the flashy uniforms and cool performances at the football game, but it’s such a byproduct of the grind of every day in the classroom, teaching these students the skill sets they’ll need in life.”
Paulson says the state convention is full of opportunity.
“This is a place where you’re surrounded by people doing this every day,” Paulson says. “They come to learn something new, to be inspired, to hear some music and learn about programming. It’s a chance for us to showcase some of the outstanding work we’re doing in our classrooms every day. It puts Brownsburg High School in the public eye and in the music community in our state - a great opportunity.”
Kaflik is looking forward to this fall,
and is excited about the new music and performances planned.
“I’d say this is the most complex show we’ve put together for the marching band,” Kaflik says. “We’ve become known for visual aesthetic and we’re going to take that a bit further this year.”
The marching band is also set to perform in Orlando this winter, possibly in a Disney parade at Magic Kingdom.
“We’re always looking for fun things we can do with our younger bands too,” Paulson says. “We would love to pair up with a community partner or do a side-by-side concert. It’s important to put those kinds of opportunities in front of them.”
Kaflik and Paulson hope students develop a love and passion for music, but it’s not the ultimate goal.
“We’re not necessarily trying to create music majors, the next band director or a musical prodigy,” Kaflik says. “If they want to play when they’re older, great, and if they don’t,
that’s OK too. We hope when they leave here, they know how to hold themselves to a higher standard, whether that applies to music or architecture or whatever field they choose to pursue.”
The band directors appreciate the opportunity to work with students for four or more years as they begin their music endeavors in middle school. It allows them to serve as mentors, leaders and guides beyond the one semester that the typical student will attend a class.
“For me, I feel like I teach humans through music,” Paulson says. “The most important thing is when they leave our program, whether or not they continue to make music is secondary. Are you a better human? Obviously I’m passionate about music, but there’s so much work to do. It starts with respecting each other and working with others whether you like them or not. People are trusting you to do your job, and teaching those kinds of skills is so important.”
Follow the Brownsburg band program at brownsburgbands.com or on Facebook @ BrownsburgBands.
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