Pugwash News apologises to Uni for misleading article Alex Harries UPSU Media & Publications Officer
Students robbed in “disturbing” attack
Last issue’s lead story in Pugwash News, published also on the UPSU. net web site, claimed in its headline that £262,000 of Portsmouth students' money was missing. The article further claimed that similar funds were failing to reach students across the Higher Education sector and quotes the NUS Vice President Education by saying that this money was being "used to line the pockets of vice chancellors". Pugwash News apologises unreservedly to the Vice Chancellor, Professor John Craven, the University and its officers for the implication that they were in any way misappropriating student bursary funds. The Students' Union accepts that the article is misleading and that any suggestion that the money is not accounted for is incorrect. The University of Portsmouth issued the following statement: "The money to which you refer is most certainly not missing. It is definitely accounted for, in the bank. It is the result of the difference between a generous estimate of what might be required to service the bursaries (to ensure that everyone who is eligible and who applies would receive one) and the actual take up of these bursaries. "This money will be held for a further two years while the take up of student bursaries is assessed; if following this period there remains a surplus, the money will be spent on student support. "The University has run a very active campaign to make students aware of their eligibility and encourage them to apply; this has included contacting some 500 students and their families personally. "Our Student Finance Centre has been active in this work which contributed to it receiving the THES Outstanding Student Financial Support Package Award at the end of last year. "In addition to the extension of our bursary offer in 2008/09 to reflect the changes to the state support also offered to students, the University has a number of financial packages in place for students which would suggest an institutional awareness and willingness to help those students who need it most. "These include additional bursaries for students from local colleges, a hardship fund for those who demonstrate need during their period of registration at the University (particularly for those who narrowly fail to qualify for other bursaries), and a Care LeaversFoyer-Sheltered Accommodation Bursary.
EE
Portsmouth’s official student newspaper
FR
pugwash news
Issue 10 Wednesday 20.02.08 upsu.net/news
Inside...
Page 8
News The Pyramids Closure, Politics Updates, Get voting Pages 2 to 3
Features Elm Grove is a busy route for students travelling to and from lectures Image: Alex Harries Jacob Leverett News Editor
Police are appealing for witnesses after a burglary took place whilst a student was at their home on Elm Grove. At around 7.50pm on Tuesday February 12, a 21 yearold student was at home when he answered the door. Two men forced their way into the house, threatening the occupants with a bottle, and began taking items from the house. The police are reporting that a CD player, laptop computer, mobile phone, wallet, two decorative Samurai swords, and a set of keys were
Going Green, One World Week, Societies Takeover
taken before the thieves left the house. The police also report that the two men then headed towards the Somers town area of the city. Detective Constable Jon Smithers said, “This was a very disturbing incident for the occupant of the house, and this type of burglary is very rare. We are appealing for any witnesses who may have been in the area of Elm Grove, Woodpath and Somers town between 7.40 and around 8.15pm. “This is a busy road with lots of passing traffic and shops, and at that time in the evening we think there would have been a number of
people in the area.” Police have released a description of the two suspects: the first is described as a white male with a stocky build, around 30 years old, wearing a light coloured jacket and jeans; the second man is described as white, medium build, between 25 and 30 years old and wearing a dark sports jacket and dark jeans or trousers. Those with information are being asked to contact DC Jon Smithers at Fratton police station on 0845 045 45 45, alternatively call Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111.
Events
News
Pugwash News
Annie Get Your Gun
Allergies? What allergies?
Want to write for us?
The UPDMS (Dramatical and Musical Society) are putting on a show from the 5th - 8th March. “Annie Get Your Gun” will be showing at the New Theatre Royal every night at 7:30 pm. Tickets cost from £7, and are available from the box office, or can be bought at the door. The DMS is made up of musicians and actors from alumni and current students. This year’s show tells the tale of cowgirl Annie Oakley, who joins a traveling show in order to get her man to notice her. It soon becomes clear though that you can’t get a man with a gun... Or can you? - LP
UoP researchers have shown that the amount of children with severe allergies has not increased. However, parents are assuming too quickly that their children have allergies to certain food types. The survey included over 800 babies. The parents of over a third believed that their child had a severe allergy, however less than 60 of the children proved to actually have allergies. Dr Venter, who led the research said “People have become more aware of food allergies, particularly of peanut allergy. Mums tend to put down every rash, tummy ache, diarrhoea and crying to food allergy or intolerance.” - JL
Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays is the Union’s student newspaper. If you have something to shout about, from burning issues to match reports, comment to features, or you want to photograph, design or help lay up, get in touch!
Pages 4 to 9
Reviews Comedy Night, White Stripes, Adele Pages 10 to 11
More info: upsu.net/p/2166
2
Pugwash News Wednesday 20th February 2008
Inbox
News
What’s happening at the Union?
Top-up fees widen class divide Ben Norman UPSU Student Activities Officer
This week has witnessed a series of defeats for advocates of top-up fees. In the annual report on university applications Universities and Colleges Admissions Service (UCAS) have reported a 5.8% rise in applicants this year, a statistic initially celebrated by the Department for Innovation, Universities and Skills as a sign of the success of fees. In reality the picture is bleak for the future of higher education as the impact of fees is slowly becoming apparent. The National Union of Students (NUS) report that there has been a drop of 1.24% from applicants of working class backgrounds, the very socioeconomic group that the government claimed would be aided by the introduction of fees. Simultaneously, the government have announced that £100 million will be diverted away from the public spending budget on higher education in September 2008. This is a vast dent in the funding of education and means that those students applying for courses deemed “lower” shall not have access to financial support. This is most likely to effect insti-
tutions which have made gains in widening participation as students working on a second degree, working part time, disabled students and postgraduate students will be the greatest effected. In total it is estimated that 20% of part time students will be left with little or no support. A report commissioned by Lord Leach has suggested that this will have a disastrous impact on the future of higher education and wider society as a whole. Lord Leach reported that “life long learning is key to a strong, knowledge based economy.” Once again this demonstrates that the Government’s agenda for privatisation, higher fees and the diversion of funds from the Higher education system is not reaping the benefits predicated, and guaranteed, by its supporters. Portsmouth Students’ Union officially stands against top-up fees, against spiralling student debt and against the continued privatisation of education. Your Union will continue to campaign for a fairer education system based on the ability to learn, not the ability to pay. To get involved go to upsu.net/fightthefees or contact: studentactivitiesofficer@upsu.net
Get Voting Jacob Leverett News Editor
One World Week Friday Feb 22nd to Saturday Mar 1st
The Union is holding a week of events dedicated to celebrating diversity among the students of Portsmouth. Fri 22nd: Societies’ Takeover @ the Union, £3 NUS, 7pm - 2am - DJs, bands, debates and giant Jenga Mon 25th: Chaplaincy stall @ the Union, 12pm - 5pm Mon 25th: Chaplaincy talk @ the Union, all welcome, 3pm
Mon 25th: Sikh society stall & performance @ the International lounge in the Union, 12pm - 5pm Mon 25th: NUS Film & speaker: “Darfur” @ the Union, 4pm Tue 26th: Islamic society stall @ the International lounge in the Union, 12pm - 5pm Tue 26th: Oxfam stall & talk @ the International lounge in the Union, 12pm - 5pm Thu 28th: Sikh society stall @ the International lounge at the Union, 10am to 5pm Thu 28th: Afro-Caribbean society
debate: ‘Use of the “N” word should it be allowed or banned?’ @ CO2 in the Union, 7pm Thu 28th: School of Rock and Street Salsa performing on stage @ Lux in the Union, 10pm Fri 29th: People & Planet and School of Languages stalls @ the International lounge at the Union, 12pm to 5pm Fri 29th: Breakdance performance @ Lux in the Union (to be confirmed) Sat 1st March: One World Fashion Show @ the Union, free entry - open to all students, 7pm onwards
The Electoral Commission are visiting universities across the UK to encourage students to have their say by registering to vote. The team visited the Union on the 18th and 19th of February to promote the ‘Have you registered?’ campaign. The campaign highlights the fact that as many as 22% of students are not registered to vote. The campaign also aims to explain to students the importance of being registered, along with advice on how to register to ensure students are able to vote in general, local, European and council elections.
Pugwash news & Purple Wednesdays
Nina Ziaullah, Head of Campaigns and Public Information at the Electoral Commission, explains the importance of having a say: “Politics affects many aspects of student life, from the quality of your education to transport and the level of crime in your local area. Unless you register to vote, you won’t be able to make your voice heard on the issues that affect you.” The Electoral Commission is an independent body set up by parliament with the aim of inspiring confidence in the elections. You can download a registration form by visiting aboutmyvote.co.uk
Time Wasting
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Produced fortnightly by the University of Portsmouth Students’ Union (UPSU). Printed by Quotemeprint - www. quotemeprint.com, 0845 130 0667, and now printed on 100% recycled paper. Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays bears no allegiance to any political party and discriminates against no-one. Pugwash News would like to apologise to SSHLS for the previous Comments section. We are sorry for any offence caused. The views of Angel Dutton do not necesarily reflect those of Pugwash News.
To get in touch with the Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays team, please visit upsu.net/newsdesk, email us at newsdesk@upsu.net, call us via the Union’s Media & Publications Officer at 023 9284 3657, or visit us at The Student Centre, Portsmouth Students’ Union, Cambridge Road, Portsmouth, Hampshire, PO1 2EF.
Editors
Thanks for this issue go to:
Editor: Laura Patricia News Editor: Jacob Leverett Design Editor: Tom Worman Features Editor: Steph Hall Sports Editors: Peppa Barnett & Marisa May Reviews Editor: Tallie Kane Web Editor: Luke Simmonds
Errors & omissions: while we take every care to verify our content, we may occasionally make mistakes. Please contact us using the details above to report any inaccuracies or mistakes.
Sub Editors
Dave Allen, Matt Blackall, Ed Butterfield, Matthew Calmus, Ed Chapman, Maz Elsahhar, Ben Endley, Wayne Gardiner, Elle Gray, Alex Harries, Richard Hayward, Dan Hendy, Morys Ireland, Steve Jones, Andrew Laugher, James Lawson, Simon “Darby” Leach, Tiffany Lee, Jenny Leggot, Sammy Miles, Ben Norman, Ben Noot, Gamel Oki, Martin Saxton, Matthew Skidmore, Petey Strauss, Adam Sunman, Matt Wilcock, Tom West, “Chewit” and “Clauds”.
Design: Peter Allsop, Andy Donohoe & Kev Wilkins Features: Matt Blackall, Nicholas Prangnell
Mini Sudoku
For the answer, look online at: upsu.net/p/2779
3
Pugwash News Wednesday 20th February 2008
News
Fortnight’s Politics
Security upped in Soton’s schools
Adam Sunman
Jacob Leverett
Nobel Laureates pressure China
Southampton City Council has introduced metal detectors to schools throughout the city in an attempt to uncover pupils carrying knives and the local authority has made the £30 handheld devices available to every school in the region. The security devices are being offered to all 82 primary and secondary schools across the city. The scanners are part of the wider Southampton Safe City Partnership with the Local Authority, schools and Hampshire police working together. It is believed that the city’s schools do not have a serious issue with knife crime, with only two cases of students carrying knives being reported last year. However, the investment in technology comes as educational establishments across the country are becoming more aware of students carrying weapons to classes. A spokesperson for Southampton City Council said “We have not heard of any other local authority that has introduced these metal detectors en masse.”
China has been called upon to abandon its support for The Sudan this week in a letter addressed to President Hu, by a collection of Nobel prize winners and international athletes. The letter criticises the Chinese President for supporting a regime that “continues to carry out atrocities against its own people”. The letter comes after news that Steven Spielberg has pulled out as artistic director to the Olympic games, due to be held later this year, over this issue. China’s continued support for The Sudan has always been condemned by the world stage, and the upcoming Olympic games provides staunch critics of the Darfur crisis an outlet through which to direct their condemnation. Obama takes the lead
Barack Obama has taken the lead in the Democrat primaries, by a margin of only 20 delegates. The win may be a reaction to the results of polls recently published in the United States, suggesting that Hilary Clinton would struggle to beat Republican John McCain if she was chosen as the Democrat candidate. Obama however had a clear lead over the popular Republican, who spent five years in the infamous ‘Hanoi Hilton’ prisoner of war camp during the Vietnam war and is surging ahead of other Republican hopefuls in the Republican race. BAE investigation under scrutiny
The government has claimed that “British lives on British streets” would have been risked if the Serious Fraud Office had continued its investigation into BAE’s dealings with the Saudi Arabian government. The claims were made at the beginning of a High Court Challenge to the decision.
Get on Facebook, Universities told The shadow universities secretary David Willets has suggested that universities should use Facebook to communicate more with students. Willets explained to the Guardian’s Higher Education summit that potential students were using the internet more to find out about the universities that they are applying to. Social networking sites such as Facebook were cited as one of many ways that potential students communicate with existing students and others, wishing to find out more about an institution. Some universities have been wary of the information available on the web, believing that information available at times can be inaccurate and misleading. -JL
Irish Setter has 1 An given birth to a
record number of 16 puppies.
writers’ strike in 2The Hollywood is now over,
paving the way for new episodes to be written, finally.
photo: Luke Simmonds
Protests at closure of Pyramids Jacob Leverett News Editor
Over 100 protesters have descended on the council offices dressed in swimming regalia. Those involved were protesting at council plans to close the Pyramids Centre. The centre, which currently boasts a cafe, nightclub, pub and leisure pools, as well as hosting some of the city’s most prestigious live events is due to be axed “no later than 31 March 2008”, according to council documents. Many of those opposed to the decision believe that the Southsea leisure complex is unique in Portsmouth and that it would be detrimental to the whole city if the complex was closed. Council chiefs have predicted that the centre would require over £2m for repairs and maintenance over the coming years, and believe that the money could be better invested in improving other facilities around the city. The closing of the Pyramids will free up finances to invest in other facilities such as the redevelopment of the The Mountbatten Centre. A council spokesperson said “Councillors lis-
tened carefully to the deputations put to them by Pyramids campaigners at the council meeting. Officers have been instructed to give them a report which compares the costs of securing a vacant site from April against someone continuing to operate the Pyramids, at least temporarily until the future of the site is clearer.” The centre is not the only swimming pool dedicated to leisure use in Portsmouth but also the one of the largest capacity music venue in the city, with bands such as Hot Chip, Dizzee Rascal and The Hoosiers all lined up to play. Aiden are also scheduled to play on the 28th March, only three days before the venue is set to be closed. Our own Reviews Editor, Tallie Kane, believes that “the closure of the centre will be a tragic loss to the Portsmouth music scene, hundred of acts both established and unsigned have entered its doors. Once again, A valuable music community is suffering for business.”. For more information visit: www.pyramids.co.uk and tinyurl.com/2g7kwe
Sabb Corner
News
Elle Gray
Government take fight to pirates
crown Prince of Ja3The pan has been told publicly to visit his parents more often. Apparently this is not the first time the issue has come up.
new types of 4Two carnivorous dinosaurs
have been “discovered” in the Sahara Desert.
zoo in Australia has 5Abeen labelled as “irre-
sponsible” after letting a nine year old elephant get pregnant.
in Israel, 6Awhowoman has just become
a great-great-greatgrandmother, believes she is the oldest person in the world, at the age of 120 years.
A 230 year-old vi7D’oh! olin needed £60,000 of repairs after its owner smashed it by dropping in on a set of stairs
performers 8Street wanted for Albert Road carnival - contact: pier.powell@port.ac.uk
President
Hello all, The recent sunshine definitely brought thoughts of summer to me – this is the start of the best time to be at Uni. If you haven’t been able to get involved in any Union activities so far, don’t worry! We’ve lined up a whole host of exciting one off activities for those who are short of time – so look out for the “Give It a Go” sessions. One World week also kicks off on the 22 February, with a whole programme of events, from films and debates, to beach cleans and barbecues – culminating in the “One World Fashion Show and Party” on Saturday 1st March which is
now totally free! Please feel free to wear your cultural dress – or fancy dress for that matter! It is also that time where you will be asked who you want to run your Union next year. Anyone can stand for the Sabbatical Elections and everyone should vote, even if you are in final year! Portsmouth Students’ Union is in a really exciting time as a vibrant and representative body, but the Sabbatical jobs are hard work and at this time more than ever, needs people who will be dedicated to making a better Union - your choices will shape the future.
Steve Jones
The government are considering upping the war on the illegal download industry, according to a leaked proposal. The draft consultation, according to BBC News, has suggested that people who illegally download movies and music could have their internet access cut for breach of international copyright law. Estimates put the level of illegal downloads at six million per year, costing music and film companies millions of pounds in lost revenue.
The proposal outlines plans to force Internet Service Providers (ISPs) to police pirate activity, with prosecution the consequence if they fail to do so. The hope is that this will help identify pirates more often and more quickly. Providers are already in talks over a voluntary scheme aiming for the same result, but this step by the government shows how seriously it is taking the increasing use of the internet for piracy. However, a spokesperson was quick to stress that the plans are in the early stages. Despite this, potential issues
are already being raised, with the Internet Service Providers Association bringing up data protection laws, and all the implications of them, as a particularly hot topic. Current privacy legislation would prevent ISPs from looking at the content sent over networks withot breaching the law. However, if the plans go ahead, the law could well be changed to include an exemption clause in the case of suspected pirates. For more info, visit: http://news.bbc. co.uk/1/hi/business/7240234.st
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Pugwash News Wednesday 20th February 2008
Comment and Features
Idiot’s Guide to... US elections Bank charges, pt 2
Steve Jones
You would be forgiven for not knowing much about the circus currently performing in the United States political ring. The main reason for this is probably that they call it the “US presidential race”, even though it could be argued that it’s just a bunch of clowns standing up and entertaining people on TV. However, despite your opinion on the candidates, the scary truth is that one of them will be selected to be the future proclaimed “leader of the free world” and will be the most powerful individual on the international scene. Considering the far reaching effects of George W. Bush’s time in the White House – just look at the impact he’s had on politics in Britain through the war in Iraq – it seems that the current contest to select a Democratic and a Republican nominee deserves at least a glance. The United States election process is long and complicated, but the most important factor is who will be taking office in 2009 to run the most powerful country in the world for four years. Though the rules and procedures of electing the President of the United States may not exactly turn you on, this year’s frontrunners are an African American, a woman and potentially the oldest president in history, giving rise to one of the most interesting contests in recent years. Having the knowledge to keep track of this race is vital to understanding one of the most important decisions in world politics today. To help you decipher the involuted and complex process, Pugwash News and Steve Jones presents you a guide to the year long race to elect the next President of the United States. The first stop on the campaign trail for wannabe presidents is to make sure that they are nominated by their party. Both the Republicans and Democrats name their nominee at their national conventions held during the summer before the general election. At this conference delegates from districts around the
country convene and vote for their chosen candidate on behalf of their constituents. The two candidates selected at these conventions go on to battle each other during the following months in an effort to win the hearts and minds of the voters, to get voted in as the candidate to eventually run for president. The choice is therefore an important one, as a bad candidate will not win, and that is the purpose of the primary elections and caucuses. Different State and party rules mean that the format varies, but the basic concept is that registered party members in each State will cast their ballots at a primary or caucus to indicate their choice for the party’s nominee. These votes serve one of two purposes depending on the State; either the voter is giving their preference, but the final decision is the delegate’s own, or, more commonly, by gaining votes, candidates are awarded bound delegates who have to vote for them at the party convention. The entire primary process takes over five months to complete, with the first contest being the Iowa caucus at the start of January, and the final votes being New Mexico, Montana and South Dakota in June. Once the primaries are over, there can be two results. If one candidate is a clear leader and mathematically guaranteed a win, that candidate becomes the presumptive nominee for the general election and can begin campaigning directly to be the next president. If, however, the race is closer between two candidates, the party’s convention will play a key role as those delegates not required by State law to vote for a particular candidate can tip the balance in deciding who wins. The candidates must then concentrate on pleasing those delegates and their constituents in order to win the key votes. The final vote is taken at the convention (August for Republicans, September for Democrats) and the nominee is either, depending on the scenario, officially confirmed or given a winning lead. Once the dust settles, the real campaigning
begins. We then proceed to the Presidential Election. The election to select the more presidential of the two candidates takes place in November, so there’s only two months for the candidates to campaign and get their message across to the public. During this time one of their key decisions is who will be their “running mate.” This is the party’s candidate for vice-president, as voters will be choosing who fills both positions. Often the running mate is a candidate who lost in the primaries, and sometimes is selected before the nomination is even won. The running mate can be a key factor in swaying independent or undecided voters to one party or another. Election Day takes place on the first Tuesday of a November week, which this year is 4th November. Voters attend a balloting station in their district, or if they have moved to a different State can vote via absentee or postal ballots. The ballot itself has the names of the presidential and vice presidential nominees, but is not actually a direct vote for the candidate. Instead, voters are showing support for the “electors of a candidate,” which means they are voting for members of the Electoral College who have endorsed a particular nominee. The Electoral College is a group of 538 electors who are selected during the general election to represent the constituents in their districts, and Election Day itself actually nominates who will be allowed to vote for president. Therefore, the president and vice president are actually selected by the Electoral College on behalf of the voters. This may seem very complicated, but in essence voters are stating their preference for president by naming an individual who will vote for one candidate or another. At the end of voting, the ballots are counted and the candidate with the most Electoral College votes is named President-elect, to take office in January of the following year. For further help: tinyurl.com/ys72ps
Alex Harries continues his diatribe on the problems with the current bank charges system: “In the consumer-led backlash against banks’ charges, even MPs have become involved: “I think that banks are in fact extorting money from the most vulnerable people in society,” says Andrew George, Lib Dem MP for West Cornwall and the Isles of Scilly. “It is inevitable that those on the lowest incomes who have the greatest difficulty maintaining their accounts in credit will be the most vulnerable to these charges.” Banks have been heard to claim justification of these measures by saying they offer financial advice to customers to help them stay out of debt, but the simple fact here is that, if I earn £300 in a month, and my expenses are £300.01, then my bank’s inevitable demand for £59 to cover “their costs” is not only an unfair penalty; it’s a nasty, spiteful and impersonal punishment for not being rich enough. Financial advice, therefore, is not the cure in most cases: consumers living with little money to spare need to have every opportunity to plan their finances, and to be able to recover from financial hardship without being forced by their banks into a position of owing penalty charges using techniques even the most vicious of loan sharks would find questionable. A few years ago, I got into a total mess whilst studying, paying be-
Comment: the National Student Survey
“Dear Pugwash, I was interested to read the correspondence about the third year National Student Survey in Pugwash. I cannot comment on the legality of passing on e-mail addresses or on how many lecturers are “preaching” at students to complete the form. In my department I’d prefer to think that we encourage people [to take part in the survey] because it is important
Unable to wait for the next issue to find out what happens in this nail-bitingly exhilarating story? Then you can read the whole article online at: upsu.net/p/2933
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Dave Allen, head of SCAFM, responds to our recent coverage of the National Student Survey:
tween £100 and £150 a month in charges, and I could do little to dig myself out of that particular hole. There is no end of good, clear advice available online for consumers to claim their bank charges back, although some companies have tried to cash in on this situation by offering to claim back your charges on your behalf, in exchange for a percentage of your claim amount. Recommended reading is the publicly-driven community website, The Consumer Action Group, at www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk, but there’s lots of information out there - a quick Google search on “reclaim bank charges” should set you off in the right direction. Currently, charges up to six years old can be claimed comparatively easily, but beyond that time period not many have claimed as the vast majority of advice suggests that a case could fail. However, some claimants have been successful in recovering bank charges up to ten years old. At the moment though, almost all claims are on hold as courts await the outcome of this test case, the only exception to this rule being that the banks shouldn’t delay where the claimant is in clear financial difficulty.”
for us to know how students feel about their courses. I’d like to endorse Elle Gray’s view that we take this as one piece of information to help us to keep our courses under review. Nonetheless I can understand that some students feel that there are too many surveys, and of course the majority produce too much statistical information and not enough about more complex matters of quality. One way of getting a broader ‘feel’ for the quality of courses is through dialogue but I find it quite difficult to persuade students to
make effective use of the Student Rep system, although we are now exploring ways of engaging more directly with all students online. Having been around this world of higher education since the late 60s, I’m sure that students’ views are more important in the daily work of the university than they have ever been. I’m less sure that today’s students are as keen to communicate those views. Is that possible? Maybe things are broadly OK? Or maybe it’s more exciting fighting for democratic rights than having them?” Dave Allen
To join the debate or read the article which sparked this debate off, please see: upsu.net/p/2719
If you have something to say on this or any other matter, e-mail us on comment@upsu. net Please note that the views expressed here are those of the individual and are not endorsed by Pugwash News or the Union.
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Pugwash News Wednesday 20th February 2008
Features
An Englishman in Spain Tom West
Tom West, a foreign exchange student from the University of Portsmouth, tells us all about his adventures in Granada, Spain, in his regular column (previously An Englishman in Fance)
Well hello from Granada! I made it (just about). When my Dad said he was going to drive up to get me from Toulouse, I had no idea that was all he would be doing. The meanie apparently had no intention of driving back down and so I took the wheel. I’ll tell you something: having never driven a van, driven at night or driven on a Spanish motorway before made for a very interesting first day – needless to say I did not continue driving the second day. It’s not that I’m a bad driver; even Daddy dearest had to admit this, but... well let’s just leave it at but. So, long story short, I got here and got my flat – it’s a palace compared to French halls! I no longer have to share my toilet with twenty-five other people because I now have two to myself! Yahoo! I’m going to drink extra water on purpose so I can use my toilets to destruction! Aah, what bliss to piss without the risk of catching a venereal disease! As I write, I’ve spent just over three days in my palace and have spent a fair whack of that cleaning. When the owners collected the last of their stuff, they told me that their son lived here whilst he finished his studies at the university I’ll be going to. All I’ll say is that he can’t have studied household management – I mean, who in their right mind puts soap powder in the fabric conditioner compartment of the washing machine and leaves it there to go all mouldy? For all I know the spores that he gave life to in that drawer held the cure for every known disease but that was the
last thought on my mind as I cursed him into the middle of next week for the whole two bloody hours it took me to clean it out. As well as being mucky, he mustn’t have had much up top either. Had I been the slightest bit interested in stealing his identity, I wouldn’t have had to make much effort as he left me everything I could need; passport, birth certificate, identity card... Now I’ve rid the place of his influence, I can start nesting myself. The most exciting thing has been being able to nest in the kitchen – I’ve populated the fridge (Oh. My. God. I. Have. A. Fridge.) with all manner of tasty treats! Whilst my soul is busy being nourished from being back in a country I consider a second home, my hips are busy not being nourished by four different kinds of chocolate biscuit you can only find in this country. And, should you find a part of me that gives a monkey’s, let me know. Anyway, I’m off to dump some rubbish, hoping not to bump into any neighbours in the process. They stare at me oddly – possibly because they don’t like students living in the apartments, possibly because they have cataracts. Who knows?
photo: Tom West
One World Fashion Show
Fiddler On The Roof Steph Hall
On Thursday 7th February to Saturday 9th February the University of Portsmouth presented Fiddler On The Roof at the New Theatre Royal.
“ photos: unknowndomain Matt Blackall
On 1st March, People & Planet will be holding their One World Fashion Show for the third year running. The show will provide a insight into the different types of ethical clothing that is available to students, ranging from Fairtrade clothing to recycled clothes. Alongside these will be a variety of clothing from different cultural backgrounds in a true ‘One World’ style. In the past the Fashion Show has been a huge success. Last year the show was featured on BBC2 and included a top international model. This year we are taking it back to the students, and making it a more relaxing experience. The doors open for the show at 7.30pm and entry is free. The show is open to all students at Portsmouth Uni. Fairtrade produce is such an important issue, in a world where the poorest are given an unfair deal, Fairtrade has stepped in to try and change this. A majority of companies that sell clothing, including as Primark, have signed up to the Ethical Trading Initiative (ETI). By being part of the ETI, you agree to try and improve the conditions of the workers who produce the clothing.
The problem with this agreement however, is that you only agree to try. There are no regulations in place to ensure that you are doing something. This means that clothes sold by companies who boast that they belong to ETI are often still made in sweatshop conditions with workers being paid below the absolute poverty line of $1 a day. In places such as Uzbekistan, cotton pickers are forced to work for up to 80 hours a week and are unable to organise into any sort of Trade Union. It has also been known that children as young as seven have been made to work in the cotton fields. In a recent Newsnight feature on Uzbekistan, it was revealed that schools were closed down during the day just so students could help out on the cotton fields. Fairtrade provides a guaranteed price for producers. This allows these workers to be able to send their children into education, afford healthcare and to increase their disposable income. As disposable income increases, more money is spent within the economy, and this helps it grow. A rise in the amount of Fairtrade clothing bought means that developing economies can grow, creating more competitive world markets.
In attendance on opening night was Chancellor Sheila Hancock and Vice Chancellor John Craven
Every year students, mainly from Creative Arts and Drama courses, perform a musical. This year, the cast consisted of 46 members – five Second years, five Third years and the remainder were First years. The show process began at a meeting in November, where the musical director and director decided what musical to perform at the end of Semester One. Then in the three weeks between semesters, rehearsals started until performance night. The cast was divided into groups and each group learnt a song and a scene until finally the groups are brought together to perform the entire show in sections. In attendance on opening night was Chancellor Sheila Hancock and Vice Chancellor John Craven. He commented “I thought it was a great show with lots of talent, enthusiasm and energy. Well done to cast, band and crew.” After just watching the rehearsal on Friday, I was exhausted. The effort that goes into a show like this is amazing and I applaud each and every member, as it consists of fast paced dance routines, plenty of songs and lots of action. If theatre is not your thing, then I’m sure it will be in the future after watching a show like this.
People and Planet
Just for fun
Going green is easy to do
Random cat of the week
Matt Blackall
All environmentalists just want the world to go back in history to the times when we lived in caves and anarchy ruled. Well, apparently so anyway. As an avid environmentalist, I still do not wish to move out of my home and into a cave just to stop the world from heating up. I also still wish to have the option to be able to travel all the way to Scotland for a weekend when I like. In reality, going green will actually have more positive impacts upon your life.
Let us start with transport. I fully believe people have a right to drive, and many people enjoy driving - sometimes it’s a way of relieving stress. Those who drive should be putting the most pressure upon the Government to invest more into finding environmentally friendly ways of powering our cars. Furthermore, with the fact that oil will run out and new reserves are not being found, coupled with the rise in the price of oil, would it not make it more efficient and cheaper to drive cars that are not run on it? However, does not walking to the shops when you aren’t in a rush help keep you fit and active?
The highest energy use in the UK is from powering and heating our homes. Do we really need all the lights left on, the TV on standby and our computers left on while we are out? Logic surely states that by turning off unnecessary appliances and lights then energy use will go down, and so does the bill. Can people not see that? Then with heating, by ensuring that we have double glazing and insulation in our homes, the heat is kept in. This has two benefits, one that our homes will remain warm throughout the year, and two that our heating bills (and therefore carbon emissions) are reduced.
Maybe there is an initial cost to ensuring that our homes are suited to being environmentally friendly, but in the long run there are more benefits. You would have helped the planet, have more money to spend, warmer homes, clearer air to breathe, and create an enjoyable future for any family you have or will have. The list goes on. Surely people cannot be so inhuman as to subject the rest of the world to climate chaos just because they cannot be bothered to walk five minutes to the local shop. It is up to all of us to make the little changes in this world.
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Pugwash News Wednesday 20th February 2008
Features
Britain’s Got Talent? Tiffany Lee
Thanks to getting myself on a course that is 100% coursework based, whilst my housemates were busy scratching away at exam papers over the last two weeks, I decided to go and spend the time at my boyfriend’s house in Birmingham. Sitting on the cross country train I thought about the two cities, Portsmouth, so light hearted and safe (obviously from a short sighted, limited student perspective) whereas Birmingham seemed gritty and real. Being a student in Portsmouth, you allow yourself to forget about the atrocities of the modern world as you skip to your lectures humming The Sound Of Music (forgive the slight exaggeration). But in ‘Brumington’ you are literally walking along the heart of our country and you truly witness the demeaning society in which we inhabit. As I was to realise later that week. Wednesday morning I awoke to find my boyfriend sat at his laptop across the room. He turned to me, looking confused yet amused, and said “How do you fancy going to see the filming of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ this evening?” So that’s what we did. Now before you pass harsh judgement on us neither of us are avid fans of Simon Cowell or the whole reality saga; however we both hope to get a career in television in the future, so we went along as critical spies to the commercial system. Although, as we learnt from eavesdropping on conversations in the queue outside, our reasons for going were not the common motive. We were surrounded by the Big Brother eviction night audience, X Factor hopefuls and Noel Edmunds devotees. So, not knowing what we had let ourselves in for, we took a deep breath and entered the arena. After a while of listening to the innuendo based comedy of the warm up man, and watching the Big Cow himself get “Tango-ed” by the swarm of make up staff the circus began. Mere seconds passed until these poor, yet largely untal-
ented, individuals suffered the demeaning sound of the judge’s buzzers, which lit a giant X on the stage to demonstrate their disinterest in the act. It was a horrific experience, as these human beings were being mauled by the judgemental pack of wolves that was the studio audience, who hurled abuse at the acts. We felt extremely uncomfortable, and as I allowed my mind to wonder I thought, are we really this quick to pass the judgement? Does every single person have three giant X’s in their mind when assessing a prospective mate? Has reality television vanity replaced natural selection to the point we turn down a mate based on the shoes they are wearing or the imperfect alignment of their teeth? I began thinking about a friend from home. She had just brought an early end to a first date with a guy she had met in our local club and had rushed to the phone to tell me all about it. With each quote she relayed to me from her date I visualised the judges X’s lighting up and making that offensive ‘eh errrr’ noise. “My name is...” eh errrr! “I work at a dog shampoo factory” eh errrr! “What a coincidence, I live on your street” eh errrr! Three strikes and you’re out. The poor bloke had walked on to my friend’s stage and been eaten alive. But aren’t we all guilty of this? Only last night my friends and I were approached by an older man in a club who we all immediately deemed as “creepy”. We all pass uniformed judgement on others daily, that’s natural, but what is not is this forced, egocentric humiliation of others which has somehow become 21st century practice. Amongst my friends there are those in relationships and those in great relationships, and it seems that the key to finding the great relationships is to put aside your initial judgements, that little Simon Cowell in your head. One more thing; in my experience, those that begin in an alcoholic environment are doomed from day one, as no great relationship can by built on such fickle foundations. Just ask Kate Nash.
Society Spotlight Special Jenny Leggott
Continuing the promotion of the upcoming Societies Takeover, we find out a bit more about other societies involved in the event on Saturday 23rd February. There are over 20 societies taking part on the day, so there should be something for everyone. Street Salsa: It was an autumn day in late September 2006 when two students, each with a passion for Salsa and Street Dance, came up with the idea to combine both dance styles! From that came the birth of the Street Salsa Society. To d a y t h e s o c i e t y h a s o v e r 130 members from more than 25 countries worldwide, all from different backgrounds and cultures. Offering both Salsa and Street Dance in their training sessions, they look at getting everyone com-
fortable with dancing one, or both styles. Their performances are then based on a combination of the two, resulting in an amazing Street Salsa mix. Since the formation of the society at Portsmouth, they have achieved a lot. Last year they won the award of ‘Most Organised Society’. Also, at the end of 2007, they were inspired by two international instructors who then came to teach Samba and African Hip Hop in a Dance Workshop, organised by the society. Besides other shows, such as the Societies Takeover,we will be showing off our moves in London at a huge ‘Street Salsa’ event along with various other groups from the UK and Italy, so come along and support us. If you are interested in becoming a member, visit us on Facebook or myspace.com/streetsalsasociety or email us: streetsalsasociety@yahoo.co.uk
Society Spotlight
Editorials
MIG (Metal Industrial Goth)
Editor
Media Officer
Well, it has been a fun fortnight here in Pugwash land! We had a bit of a situation with Issue 10; I shan’t go into details, but the end result was that we had to run the paper without a front page! As another side effect of this, we now have a new system of paperwork etc for each and every article. Let’s just say that it will work an awful lot better when we figure it out! I think it will be an efficient and useful system once we’ve worked out all the bugs, but for this issue it has been an extra headache for us all. I appear to be out of space! Our next issue comes out three days before Crufts; I will work it in somehow if it kills me! -LP
Hello everyone, and thanks for picking up issue 10 of Pugwash News & PWs! You may have spotted that the front covers from the last issue were conspicuously absent. As you may also have spotted, this issue carries a sincere apology to the University from the Union, relating to the article printed in the last issue which we had to cut out. The last two weeks have been very stressful for a number of the newspaper team and Union staff, as we worked hard to put new systems in place to try to prevent any reoccurrences of the problems which beset that issue. As Media & Publications Officer I want to extend my thanks to all
Jenny Leggot
The MIG (Metal, Industrial and Goth) society are a collection of individuals who appreciate the harder, heavier and darker side of alternative music and the associated lifestyle. In the four years we have been running as a society, we have held events including the Anti-Valentine’s Day Ball, Halloween Masquerade Balls, Halloween March of the Undead and Dead Ball, and a Viking Disco. We also give our members a chance to chat and socialise outside of the nightclub environment at a weekly society meeting (Sunday evenings at the Wig &
Pen), where they can organise their own events and give the committee feedback on events they would like to attend as a society. On the Societie’s Takeover night one of our society members, DJ Viking Tom, will fill the late night DJ slot (from 12.30am), and will also fill in between band sets. The committee will mainly be congregating in Lux, as this is where our preferred music will be played throughout the event. Keep an eye out for our treasurer, he will be easy enough to spot – he is the one who will be dressed as a dragon. For more information go to: http://tinyurl.com/37o85c
Breakdance: Breakdancing is a dance of paradoxical extremes. A balancing act between constant evolution and adherence to foundation, showing off and self exploration, raw athleticism and fluid controlled movements. It is a difficult but fulfilling dance. We take part in battles, throw jams and perform in worthy events. We also hire out our services to those who wish to look “down with it” and want something “hip”, “cool”, “extreme” or “different” for whatever it is they are organising. At the Societies’ Takeover we are going to be collaborating on a show with the other dance groups, including salsa and latino dance. As well as performing a bit of freestyling, from 9-10PM our crew DJ will be laying down a dope funk set for all you cool cats to get down with. For more inforaion visit our website: portsmouthbreakers.50webs.com
the staff and students involved with the Union, and the staff at the University, who have shown a great deal of patience and understanding while we worked to fix our mistakes, and I am happy that we can now move on with a lot more confidence problems like this one should be avoidable in the future. Once again, many thanks to everyone involved for working so hard this issue, and I hope you as our readership haven’t lost any faith in the Union’s youngest publication just yet. Best regards, Alex Harries (UPSU Media & Publications Officer 2007-2008).
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Pugwash News Wednesday 20th February 2008
Features
Read your age, or New Statistics, your shoe size? Same Old Problems Tallie Kane
Put. It. Down. Just because you choose to purchase the adult cover version of a child’s book doesn’t defer from the fact that it is still meant for people much younger than you. You won’t look any less moronic, and it won’t get you down to the level of your sevenyear-old self. It won’t make you any more well-read or intellectual, and it definitely won’t help you chat up girls. Maybe it’s time you put down that book about wizards and read something more appropriate to a person your age.” With a consistent surge of adult’s fiction hitting the bookshelves, why is it that many adults are rejecting their age group and picking books to suit their shoe size? Why are books such as ‘Northern Lights’ by Phillip Pullman, and the Harry Potter series becoming the read of choice for many adults? Are adults bored of the recurrent themes of sexual politics, power relationships and ego masturbation in the literature written for them? Literature concocted with children in mind often appeals to the child that kicks around inside the hardened exterior of a ‘grown-up’. That mysticism that often escapes the realm of adulthood, save a few exceptions, offers an opportunity of escapism for the one who has become lost in the not-so-real world of cyberspace and technology. Gone are the modern interpretations of ‘advanced’ equipment, substituted by devices such as Pullmans’ ‘Altheiometer’, which appeals to the part of the human character that left when puberty barged its way in. Have we grown up and forgotten about these other-worldly experiences or are we just too old for it? Are you one of those that snubs the reader that chooses Rowling over Rushdie? I admit; before writing this column I was one of those who was reluctant to re-discover the area of literature that I was all too willing to leave behind with
childhood. I will never like Harry Potter, but I can appreciate its appeal. I found ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time’ by Mark Haddon to be an exceptionally touching insight into the mind of its young protagonist and others suffering with Aspergers Syndrome. By saying that the books themselves are less well written than their adult-fiction peers is absurd. I can think of a whole host of popular, contemporary fiction featured in televised ‘book clubs’ that should not, to put it bluntly, exist. I have found that I have, essentially, gone backwards with books I have read as an adult that were meant to inspire the cavernous mind of a child. It is hard to erase the analytical side of me that stops me from getting as lost in the stories as I would have at a younger age, but I realise that the need to ask questions stems from the place these tales of fantasy, intrigue and often pure nonsense are trying to coax. Children’s books ask more questions, and give less ordinary, less obvious answers, if there are any at all. I will never be able to talk to a seven-year-old about the same book, even if it was originally ‘designated’ to them, without an erratic fear of accidental corruption, as each page in my volume seems to tell a completely different story to the one that they are reading. To my eyes, ‘Gulliver’s Travels’ by Swift tells a story of madness, political power struggles and Marxistfeminist connotations. To a child it merely talks about adventures with abnormally little people, giants and talking horses. Maybe in the future that child will grow up and realise what I have realised, or maybe something that I never thought I could drag out of it. Maybe that’s it. Maybe we need that difference of opinion between adult and child, literature or not. “In our time, when the literature for adults is deteriorating, good books for children are the only hope, the only refuge.” ~ I. Singer
Matthew Calmus
Sorry to be bubble burster-in-chief, but a recent Guardian report which heralded a possible 16.4% rise in job vacancies for UK University graduates in 2008 looks about as useful to students as Peace In Our Time was for Neville Chamberlain. Reacting to the latest Association of Graduate Recruitment (AGR) figures, the attention-grabbing headline on 30th January, predicting an upturn in employment prospects, seemed to tally happily with an announcement from admissions service UCAS. They recorded that the number of full-time applicants gaining University places has increased by nearly 6% in the past year, numbering 413,430. So soon after 2006’s controversial induction of top-up fees, you could be forgiven for wanting to argue that some cast-iron statistics at last help support the idea that New Labour’s pledge to successfully widen participation in Higher Education is becoming a positive reality. But wait; it requires a reversal of the Guardian’s creative journalism
to see that the huge jump in a need for graduates over the coming year is no good thing. As closer reading of the AGR findings reveal, the actual number of vacancies are not growing. Instead, employers are simply refusing to take workers on as they cannot distinguish between too many average applicants in a saturated market. Sound familiar? “As far as graduates are concerned,” said AGR Chief Executive Carl Gilleard, “it’s really important they understand the rules of the game. You have to sell yourself... convince an employer you have the right skills and qualities.” Gilleard is right, of course, but what he flippantly calls ‘the game’ needs analysing. Less than a year after abolishing the precious method of subsidising University fees, the governmentaffiliated Student Loans Company doubled the repayment interest rate to 4.8%. Sorry to all you second-season applicants in the top-up scheme, we have changed the rules. Only last month, a group of Portsmouth students joined forces with three other establishments to challenge MP John Denham on
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Labour Students’ Society Since 1997 there have been a number of improvements in the opportunities available to young people. More than ever before they are continuing to further their education after the age of 16, as access to further and higher education has widened. With regard to the political system itself, the Labour government has introduced the right for young people to stand in local elections, encouraging them to participate in the political process. This year saw the launch of the Labour Students’ Society at the University of Portsmouth. It is an organisation that campaigns for
Agree? comment@upsu.net
photos: Tallie Kane
Society Spotlight
Morys Ireland
what they called “lifting the cap,” with the backing of thousands of signatures. No wonder there are those who slam the new way as a stealth tax. Those already footing the staple £12,000 debt after three years of study as of last August, were – and are – suddenly expected to pay a maximum £576 in annual interest. The hike was even timed specifically at the height of summer, when it would have been hardest for prospective Freshers to alter their long-deliberated decision. What people in suits may glibly call a ‘game’ actually represents a huge gamble by millions of students on their own unknown future income. Transferal of the debt from state to individual, and at a time when the newest AGR report insists employers already look abroad for better graduates, has clearly rocketed. Yes, burdening debt and an uncertain future in the labour market could certainly affect this writer’s life. Worse still, it will affect yours, whatever the Guardian might say.
equality, democracy and social justice. We believe that young peoples’ voices matter and that they should be at the heart of the political process – they are the leaders of tomorrow. At present, young people are grossly under-represented in politics at all levels and many simply claim they do not care about the political process. The reality behind this viewpoint is that this process has simply failed to engage with young people, and this is a key issue that Labour Students set out to tackle. We recognise that the government’s task is far from completed on higher and further education, and that we must go further to get
more young people to continue their education after school. Good education should be the right of the many, not the privileged few. Education and political representation are not the only areas that the Labour Student’s Society will be campaigning in. Action in Darfur, human rights in Zimbabwe, action on climate change, social equality and many others, will be at the heart of the society’s activities, not to mention countering David Cameron and his ‘new look’ Tory party (we are the Labour society after all!) We will also be organising debates and talks involving guest speakers from the Labour Party and other organisa-
tions. ‘Question Time’ style debates are also planned, involving not just Labour representation, but a broad spectrum of other political parties as well. Look out for us at the Societies Takeover event on the 23rd February and around the Union building during the week. To join the society or for more info about who we are and what we stand for email: m.ireland@hotmail.com
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Pugwash News Wednesday 20th February 2008
Elections Special
www.upsu.net/elections
UPSU
S N O I T C ELE Your 2008
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a Sabb? Sabbatical officers, or “Sabbs”, are elected students who work at the Students’ Union to make sure the Union looks after the needs of, and represents, the students of Portsmouth, to help student, to get the most out of their time at University. They are current or just-graduated Pompey students who have each won one of the six Sabbatical positions during the Union elections, held in March each year. Successful candidates are the interface between all students at the University and the University itself, with direct control over how
the Students’ Union is run on a day-to-day and future basis. The Sabb positions form the Executive Committee of the Students’ Union. These full-time, paid positions are for one year and Sabbs can serve their term either at the end of their course or between years, so long as they are a full-time student when they stand for election. Each successful candidate is known as a Sabbatical Officer and together these six people act as Trustees of the Students’ Union Charity.
What do Sabbs do? There are six Sabbs, working fulltime at the Union, and each one does a different job, but all of them are related to representing and supporting students at the University. While each Sabb has a job title - for example Sports Officer, or Student Activities and Development Officer, they are all first and foremost the trustees of the Union charity, and are accountable directly to the student body. The job is one which carries a
huge amount of responsibility, as the job requires each Sabb - or “officer” - to share responsibility for ensuring the representational and welfare needs of each of the University’s 20,000 students are met, as far as they possibly can. In practice, the roles require each Sabb to attend a number of meetings to ensure the Union and University are both working to their highest levels to serve the needs of students.
Why should I vote? It’s no cliché - every vote in the elections counts, and voting is the only way you - as the combined population of Portsmouth’s student body - can be sure that the best candidate for each Sabbatical position is elected. Voting is extremely easy; all you have to do is turn up to a polling booth - having read through the
candidates’ manifestos, attended the hustings, or simply having spoken to the candidates in person - and fill out a ballot paper. You can find out when and where polling booths can be found, and more information on the voting system we use, online: upsu.net/elections
How do I vote? To vote in the elections, all you need to do is go to any of the polling stations set up around campus on polling days with your University student ID card, and complete a ballot paper. Please note that you can only vote once - if you vote more than
once, all your votes will be disqualified and you may face disciplinary action from the University. For more information, see the voting information page online: upsu.net/elections
www.purefm.com/24
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Pugwash News Wednesday 20th February 2008
Reviews
Album of the Fortnight
Comedy @ the Union
Adele - 19
The best thing to do if you’re single on Valentine’s Day? Take the piss out of people, or at least watch other people do it. The Union was awash with a gentle hush, half filled with couples and half filled with those sick of couples who were more than willing to watch them becoming targets. First up, Compere Tom Craine has an interesting way of working the room, playing off of the stench of Valentines’ in the room with quick and intelligent responses to those in the audience who found it funny to take him on. At one point I got called ‘Miss Violence’ because I somehow got round to metaphorically giving him a Chinese burn. His reputation as a fresh and spontaneous comedian precedes him, his geek turned jack-the-lad persona inviting the audience to look at themselves through a set of
Rating: Tallie Kane
At 19, Adele makes most her age jealous at the success her reputation and debut album ‘19’ has brought her; blossoming out of the Brit School alongside other female chanteuses such as Kate Nash and Amy Winehouse, to the same critical acclaim. The album fuses soul and blues with a unique modern twist, either from the lulling delivery of her most frank and harsh lyrics, to her impressive vocal range that rivals that of woman twice her age. It’s hard not to be wooed by her, a woman that shows a maturity beyond her young years. Tracks such as ‘Daydreamer’ and ‘Hometown Glory’ absolutely melt you to pieces, tender, but rough in all the right places, creating a spotlight into the soul of our generation. ‘Chasing Pavements’ is a powerful tour-deforce of emotions, truly exploring her wealth as both an intelligent lyricist and extraordinary vocalist. However, at times the album
Singles Gallows - Just Because You Sleep Next To Me Doesn’t Mean You’re Safe Rating: Andrew Laugher
It’s been an enormous year for the Watford boys, whose visceral sound has managed to bring punk back into the mainstream. Clearly not as catchy or radiofriendly as their collaboration with Lethal Bizzle on ‘Staring at the Rude Bois’, there’s a much greater level of intensity and anger on offer here, and that, in turn, is a better demonstration of what Gallows really are all about – creating this chaotic sound that inspires people to raise their fists and make their voice heard. They toe the line between overblown aggression and sheer passion without alienating a seemingly growing mainstream f o l l o w i n g , a n d ‘J u s t B e c a u s e You Sleep Next To Me Doesn’t M e a n Yo u ’ r e S a f e ’ i s a n other wonderful example of a band at their best.
image: Hege Saebjornsen
falters - sometimes Adele’s heart isn’t quite there. She’s spotted something out of the picture that we all can’t see and she won’t let us in on. ‘Best for Last’ and ‘First Love’ feel more like filler than the other soul-driven contributions to this otherwise stunning record. This isn’t to say they aren’t good; the album as a whole creates a perfect introduction to a hazy summer. Tracks to download - ‘Daydreamer’, ‘Hometown Glory’ and ‘Make You Feel my Love’.
Rating:
Tallie Kane
human and frank anecdotes. Up next, Lou from ‘Little Britain’ lookalike Carl Donnelly presents us with his unique brand of schoolboy, and essentially silly comedy. He’s the kind of kid you’d remember from school who could generate a laugh out of the most morbid situations and gets away with it with a wink. Donnelly delves deeply into the realms of the controversial without any lack of confidence, one of those things that are essential if you’re going to pull off politically incorrect jokes without getting stoned/thrown out/shot. Kate Smurthwaite after him, however seemed somewhat intimidated by the group of students congregated in the darkness of the Union. Although her material was clever, with an initiative that set her up as an independently minded, quick-witted female, there was a falter to her delivery that let her down. Her best moments were when she was at her most sporadic, setting you up slowly and then
landing one hell of a one-liner. By the time we’d already topped up on drinks, emptied our bladders and seen two acts, Compere Tom Craine had successfully managed to pick on nearly everyone in the Union, keeping you constantly on your toes in case you were next. With a full head of white hair, Caimh MacDonnell surprised us all with his outrageous and hilariously clever set. I don’t think I’ve seen a man test the reception of his audience more than they will attempt to judge him themselves. His comedy thrived off of his witty, cunningly casual banter, successfully choosing and winning his battles with himself, his environment and the wider world. His set ended on a high, literally being laughed off of stage by the audience in unbearable gut-aches. Hopefully this success will continue. I encourage you to check out this fresh new addition to the Union’s timetable. The next one is on 13th March.
Image: Tallie Kane
Coheed & Cambria Feathers
The White Stripes Conquest
Rating:
Rating:
Andrew Laugher
Petey Strauss
Leaning more towards the classic rock styling than progressive elements, ‘Feathers’ is very much at the pop end of the spectrum and even somewhat, dare I say, cheerful? Claudio Sanchez’s vocals soar without ever drifting too far into the wailing he’s well known for; whilst the guitar work is as ever highly impressive, with a very understated solo that’s a dramatic departure from the more frantic, shredding style that has littered their previous offerings. Whilst ‘Feathers’ is undeniably memorable and destined to become extremely popular there is the feeling that Claudio and co. were holding back a little, and that it may just be lacking that slight extra spark to really blow you away. But maybe I’m being too harsh, as ‘Feathers’ is nothing but an enjoyable slice of rock and roll.
The White Stripes’ latest offering to the masses, Conquest, isn’t so much a cover song as much as it is a complete overhaul and renovation with the beautifully raw and simplistic composition that has become something of a trademark of the sibling duo’s sound. Everything about this track screams originality as the frequent changes in pace, the pauses, the big guitars and the horn instruments all collate to create a truly memorable track. The third single off the immensely popular “Icky Thump” album is thoroughly enjoyable and further proof if necessary that The White Stripes are still one of the premier bands of the new rock scene.
Want to write a review for Pugwash News? Email: reviews@upsu.net
to look out for this year. However, though her efforts here demonstrate clearly that she has a great, powerful voice, the sound of the whole track feels as though it’s a cheap comparison when regarded against earlier Motown classics. The song starts with a bass line that is almost the spit of the intro to Ben E King’s 60’s classic ‘Stand By Me’. Though Duffy gives the genre a modern twist with almost rap-like sequences in parts, for me the song has a feel that it’s all been done before and is lacking in bringing something new to the table.
Rating: Martin Saxton
Bringing her soulful style to this track, Duffy has been hailed highly by many publications, including Time Out magazine, as being one
We Are Scientists After Hours Rating: Ed Butterfield
The Futureheads The Beginning of the Twist Rating: Tallie Kane
Duffy - Mercy
A good effort, nothing particularly landmark about it, but it’s fun and I’m sure will shuffle shoes in many an indie club, or whatever is done nowadays.
This track ideally should have chapters. Good bits (jumpy, frantic vocals that are actually alright), and the parts no one really cares about (unfortunately a bit of a let down). It comes close to a point where they are entering dangerous KaiserChief shaped waters, but luckily save themselves by throwing in bouncing vocal arrangements that are quintessentially Futureheads.
What’s this? Acoustic guitars? Glockenspiels? In an unexpected departure, We Are Scientists’ break away from their straight-up, balls-out, party hearty attitude of 2005 with new single ‘After Hours’; a track clearly more suited to the coffee table than the dancefloor. Rather than the anxious, squirmy meanderings which dominated their last record, this single is a starry-eyed, night-time wander home through the city, with vocalist/guitarist Keith Murray full of a heady mix of alcohol and nostalgia - ‘we’re fine, drunk enough now / …and if we have to go now, I guess there’s always hope that tomorrow night will be more of the same’. Whilst nothing ground-breaking, this is certainly an extremely pleasant offering from what is a promising new chapter for the Scientists.
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Pugwash News Wednesday 20th February 2008
Reviews
Theatre University of Portsmouth Presents… Fiddler on the Roof Rating: Tiffany Lee
Fiddler on the Roof is the classic tale of Tevye, a poor dairyman and his wife who are forced to react as the world changes around them. Set in the traditional village of Anatevka, where women’s futures are assigned by their fathers to the most suitable man of highest society, Tevye faces the impossible struggle of governing his five strong willed daughters who one by one begin to seek their own husbands, each one progressively less suitable in the eyes of Tevye and the established customs of the village. It is a tale favoured by some, yet I found it tiresome to persevere, to no fault of the cast or crew of this performance. The story desires tremendous energy and enthusiasm to prevent it from being a dreary tale with predictable resolutions and instead allow the stage to come alive with rustic characters that the audience will care about.
Live Gig Blood Red Shoes 5/2/2008 at Joiners Rating: Ben Noot
When we emerged from the crypt-like backstage area, local band Fresh Legs were just starting their set, coming off a bit like Blondie but less NYC cool and more urgent. I moved closer to the stage, pushing through the growing crowd. People at the front were starting to move and dance as the set continued. Singer Ella Lou’s vocals were pretty breathtaking and as the band played on you could tell that they were enjoying themselves up on stage. ‘Finishing Touches’ was the standout song of their set, using that age-old loudquiet-loud method, but with style. Fresh Legs are always playing shows locally, so go see them!This would be a very different Blood Re d Shoes gig t han usual , as guitarist and co-vocalist Laura-Mary Carter had lost her voice, so drummer Steven Ansell would be doing the singing for the both of them. They opened with crowd favourite ‘Its Getting Boring by the Sea’ with Steven drumming like Animal from the Muppets and Laura-Mary taking
Luckily, the University of Portsmouth delivered. From the opening song this performance proved it was going to shine with beautiful chaos as the stage was swarmed by a host of lively actors whose collaborative vocals represented the unity of the University spirit. Particular scenes were resurrected with great imagination by director Dominic Symonds, however the show belonged to the orchestra. The music excelled to the point where the sheer talent became distracting from the action onstage. I could not help but question some of the casting decisions, as the nameless faces in the background seemed to resonate with passion and drive, whereas the leading roles at times felt slightly flat and unconvincing. A pet hate of mine is to see the actors’ palms repeatedly during a performance, where an actor perhaps feels awkward and out of character and they continuously punctuate their speech with raising their palms, which unfortunately reoccurred in this performance. Despite this, it was a thoroughly enjoyable performance and, just a little bit of advice for you all, never attempt to recreate the traditional Jewish dancing!
Cinema National Treasure: Book of Secrets Rating: Laura Patricia
This is the best sequel I have seen in a very long time, in terms of sticking to what was good about the first film, and enhancing it rather then ruining it. Book of Secrets further develops the characters and story that we came to know and love in Disney’s original National Treasure back in 2004, following our intrepid treasure hunters on another adventure. My main objection to this film, as with the first, is that all the puzzles, riddles and clues are based on details in American history, so as a non-American there was no way I was going to get the answer before the script told me, but it was still fun trying. Even when they journey internationally for clues - well, to London and Paris anyway - the focus is still on the States. The cliffhangers and peril will keep you on the edge of your seat and because of the likable characters you’re rooting for them to win, even though they are doing
things like kidnapping the President and breaking into Buckingham Palace! The plot premise (finding treasure to clear a family member’s name) and the acting are not as strong in this movie as the first, but everything else is consistent, and it appears to the observant watcher that the script writers have already set us up for a third installment, if the box office favours this offering. Equally, you have to suspend your disbelief a bit more in this installment, since the treasure in question is an entire city made of gold, which apparently no one else noticed before, and some of the things they have to go through to reach it seem a bit far out. The Book of Secrets itself seems to be reaching. You can ignore all the realities for two hours though, and get caught up in the action and the script. This is the same producer who brought you the epic Pirates of the Caribbean, so you can expect the same punchy humour, fast paced events and elaborate plans and sets. It may never win awards, but this is a very good film in its own right and definitely worth seeing if you were a fan of the first. That said, it stands up on it’s own, so can be seen without even being aware of the prequel.
Pure FM 24 hour broadcast Thursday 21st - Friday 22nd Feb:
her frustration out on her guitar. The crowd really got behind the band, singing the words that they knew to help the band out. After a few songs Steven was sweaty and exhausted but still they played on. Their catchy rock had captivated the audience, who knew they were lucky they were getting a show at all - lesser bands would have cancelled. They closed the gig with the frantic ‘ADHD’, Laura-Mary getting a group of girls at the front to coo ‘now now now now now now now now boy’. I left the venue with it on repeat inside my skull.
Every week we’ll be showing a chart of the Top 5 artists that the members of our Last.fm group have been listening to, if you want your music scrobbled, log in and add the Pugwash chart.
Go to upsu.net/lastfm
photo: Christophe at flickr.com
photo: Sicko Thelford at flickr.com
1
Bloc Party
2
Radiohead
3
Hot Chip
4
The White Stripes
5
Kings of Leon
12
Pugwash News Wednesday 20th February 2008
Sports
Zaki with thirty second knockout
The Portsmouth University Boxing Squad took a long, boring and well worth it journey down to Barnstaple over three hours away, to compete in a boxing dinner show. Three boxers were matched, consisting of: Mick “The Rhino” O’Sullivan at 69Kg, Simon “The Spartan” Easter at 81Kg and Ali “Tongue in Cheek” Zaki at 75Kg. First up was Ali against Barnstaple ABC Boxer S Wrenn who previously was beaten within two rounds by Portsmouth University Boxer Lawrence Brown back in October. We had a good idea of how this lad boxed and planned our tactics well, but Ali executed them perfectly. As his opponent was short and stocky, he came lunging forward trying to swing big overhand rights. Ali casually laid back and returned with a forcible rear, making this opponent think twice about his next move. Ali patiently waited for his opportunity and then landed with a beautiful combination of two rear hands and a devastating left hook sending his opponent stumbling across the ring and into his own corner. As Ali went to follow up this attack, the referee stepped in and stopped the bout as the opponent was unable to continue, giving Ali his first ever TKO, within 30 seconds of the first round. (Nicely done – you looked as shocked as he did!) Next up was Simon “The Spartan” Easter against Craig Lavercombe; these two boxers faced off last October 07 with the result being a horribly bad one against Simon even though the crowd and
his opponent thought otherwise. Simon wasted no time convincing the judges that they made a mistake before and ensured that they were not going to do it again. Landing with precise combination shots landing almost at will, I think Simon was only hit on two occasions throughout the bout. Whilst waiting for the decision, Simon and I joked that the judges might be blind and he may not have won. As the MC called out the result I nearly froze in disbelief, it was a majority decision (two judges to one). Luckily enough the result was in favour of Simon, but I still do not understand how they came to the majority. (You boxed very well mate – them judges need some glasses though). Last up was Mick “The Rhino” O’Sullivan against a durable opponent from Barnstaple called P Hull. Both boxers came out in the first round with some tremendous shots, with Mick just getting the edge on power and stamina. With his relentless attacks he continually sent the opponent into the corner where he unloaded with quick powerful shots, slowing the faster moving Hull as the bout progressed. Mick came away with a well deserved victory. (Well boxed mate – keep it up.) Coach’s Comment: Yet again the lads delivered whilst boxing in the Western Counties; if this keeps up... we may not get invited again! I was very happy with the performance and over the moon with Ali in getting his first TKO.
Sporting Promise
Awards News
National Representation
Athletes receive first UoP scholarships
Simon “Darby” Leach Sports Officer
Representing England Universities for your sport is the highest accolade a sporting student can have. This year we have sent a large number of students for trials, with a record number being selected. The Hockey Club led the way by sending nine triallists up to Birmingham to play with the best students in the country; the standard was high, as you’d expect, but our guys proved they were not out of their depth, with four being invited
into the English University squad. Well done Andrew Pett, Chris Boyland, Sarah Eastman and Sam Stares. Boxing too has had an excellent year, with Portsmouth being crowned the best boxing University in England. As a result, four of our Pompey fighters have been awarded with England Vests, making them the best student fighters in England! Well done to Sarah, James, Frank and Dan. We wish you the best of luck. Kellie Pearson and Alice Beet were invited to equestrian trials, two of only 13 girls in the country!
They are still waiting to hear if they were successful. Finally Annika and Jade will soon be off to English University basketball trials. The girls have had a great year - clinching the league title, winning every game in the process. Well done to the girls and all the best of luck! All this success shows that sport at Portsmouth is finally moving in the right direction! Long may it continue! Is your team going national? If so, we want to know about it!
Eleven athletes have received the first UoP sports scholarships. It is the first year the University has offered scholarships specifically sports-related, which are worth £1,000. The scholars receive free access to all university sports facilities and fitness classes, car park permits, alongside guaranteed accommodation in university halls for each year that they are a scholar to ensure they are close to training facilities. The athletes are also given tailored and on-going sports science assessment, personal and academic mentors, physiotherapy and coaching, and £200 cash.
UPSU’s Sports Officer Simon Leach commented, ‘I think it’s amazing that these athletes are receiving the support they need, the benefits [that the program provides] to UoP sport and the profile of sport is huge!’. Dan Tilley, Director of Sport for the University has said ‘Elite athletes have a tough balancing act trying to complete their degree, achieve their sporting potential and still take advantage of the student experience; the scheme aims to help them find this balance. Furthermore some have financial concerns and have to work to fund both their study and their sport’.
13
Purple Wednesday Wednesday 20th February 2008
Sports
Men’s Hockey 4th Team
Sammy Miles Dance Club
photo: Tom Worman
In the last game of the season the 4th team played Brunel 3s for the second time in as many weeks. A win at Brunel would secure second place at the end of the 4th team’s most successful year yet. The team were short on players with exams causing many members - including Captain Lenny - to miss the game resulting in the welcome return of the legendary Boycie to provide a 12th man with his impeccable skills. An unlucky goal from a short corner set the visitors behind early in the match as the ball ricocheted off Andy’s effort to prevent the 1-0 lead.
A series of enchanting saves from goalkeeper Matt and a fine performance from the four defenders kept the goals conceded down to 1 but the Portsmouth team could not manage to conjure up an attack resulting in a goal. Timmy fell back into his old roll of passing the ball across goal rather than scoring and Steve failed to score the twenty goals that would bring him to his promised thirty of the season, ending the game at 1-0. Despite his outstanding contribution to the match Boycie was awarded DOD for his lack of effort while Matt earned MOM with his dazzling performance in goal.
A lesson learned can mean a ruptured ball... The UPCC lads have been back in action since early October and as the season approaches we’ve been training hard, drinking hard, and for many, getting naked at every opportunity. The start of 2008 has meant a focus on our upcoming fixtures after Easter, meaning weekly trips to the Hampshire Rosebowl for many grueling fitness sessions, or lack of, twice a week for everyone, something that has definitely separated the fitties (Moseley) from the fatties (Hayto)! The second biggest feature of the team (or first biggest for many), the socials, have brought us messy and exciting adventures every God given Purple Wednesday. From the long line of purple smiles during Touch Cup sessions to last week’s pub golf, every week has been a successful lash up! Training sessions are still held at the Grammar School and St Paul’s every Sunday afternoon, where an array of talent is on display all afternoon, unless you accidentally
Jack Smith is from the swim team and his team mates sent in these images bearing a remarkable resemblance between Mr Smith and the actor Jack the Pirate from Dodge Ball.
AU Dinner
Get on film! We a r e c u r r e n t l y b o o k i n g u p Sports clubs for action photos and video with Union photographer Tom Worman. If your club receives an award at the AU Dinner, these photos will be shown in the background. To book in your sport for photos and video recording please e-mail Tom Worman. If you want to submit your own video and photos you are more than welcome. Tom Worman will be available Wednesday afternoons for all home games; please get in contact soon to avoid disappointment.
Right: Jack Smith
Having been dancing all my life, the first thing I wanted to do when I arrived at uni was to join the University Dance Club. After putting my name down, I went along to squad tryouts. I never imagined I’d be picked, but after the two day tryout I was one of the six new girls in the squad! At my first training I walked in and stood at the back, too nervous to speak to the other girls and wondering whether I was going to fit in, but after about an hour everyone was getting to know each other and I was having the time of my life! I am so glad I joined Dance Club, as I have met so many more people and made some really good friends. I enjoy training and performing with the squad so much and love how I can do something I’m passionate about and
Email: tom.worman@upsu.net
keep fit at the same time! All of us have so much fun together and the social secs Fee and Day organise the best socials, which is always a good excuse to dress up and get messy! Bring on Tour 2008 with my favourite dance guys and girls! It’s going to be carnage. Standard!
Matt Wilcock Boxing
Being a Fresher at Portsmouth University offers many opportunities. There is a lot to do with the nightlife, the sports clubs and societies on offer at the Fresher’s Fayre. Walking around in October, the Boxing Club caught my eye. I had always wanted to box however I thought I wouldn’t be strong or big enough. After talking with the Boxing Teams’ Captain, I decided to take a risk and try it out. At the first session I realised boxing wasn’t about brute force but really about hitting without being hit. It is also about serious fitness. I continued going to the Tuesday and Friday night training sessions until the coach decided to take me to the sparring sessions in Fratton. This was a real experience, sparring with other boxers and reaching fitness levels I never thought were possible. Boxing has given me direction as a Fresher; it has given me something to concentrate on other than my studies. The Boxing Club has shown me university sport doesn’t
stay for too long and catch the girls in action after us! There have been many highlights, great bowling, great batting, but perhaps the best came through a lesson learned the hard way... Against one of the faster bowlers in the team, our very own Pres took one straight in the twig and berries, unprotected! Having dropped to the floor in unimaginable pain, he proceeded to go whiter than Penicillin’s back cheeks after a summer in the Norfolk Broads and suffered what is known as a ruptured capillary! Wince away boys! Chin up Abbie! Finally, our tour this year is to Latvia and after the success of last year’s Amsterdam Tour it’s going to be a blast! It’s never too late to join up with the cricket team and with the winter season coming to a close, anyone looking for a sport in the summer term should get in touch with us. Until next time, love and love, Chewit
Separated at birth
Left: Jack the Pirate
Fresher’s Point Of View
just have to be about drinking and can be about competing on a serious level. The Coach, Wayne Gardiner, inspires confidence in his boxers and makes them the best they can be. The Boxing squad is very friendly and always willing to help you improve fitness or technique any way possible. The Boxing Club is excellent for building confidence, raising fitness levels and having fun. I would highly recommend it to any Fresher coming to the university or any other student currently at the university.
14
Pugwash News Wednesday 20th February 2008
Sports
Sporto Challenge Every fortnight we pit two of our sportos against each of the in a fast paced Q&A session to see who’s cooler. Oh, and they have to draw a donkey too... Decide for yourself.
TY VARSI UARY R EB 27th F YOUR SHOWPORT SUP
League Table Top 5 Sportos
Score
Marisa May
19
Peppa Barnett
18
Andrew Machin
17
Andy Watson
17
James Pepper
16
The Riding Club A team came 2nd at their home competition
The Club’s Polo came A team the Na 8th at tional s
PUD 26.4 mi underwater le marathon on 23rd Feb
Intra-mural dates and info on page 12
Women’s Ru are busy gettgby more memb ing ers qualified to coach child at tag Rugby ren achieve Leveand l1 coaching.
Netball als ur Intra-mt 7:30 start a rsday on Thu
UPDC with N Dance Mast i e Marchkkie Riozzie rclass Nuffiel 1st. Tickets in Lux Wedne d Sports Ce from n sday 3 pm - 5 tre pm
Team of the Fortnight
Player of the Fortnight
Sailing Team Glasgow Qualifiers
Joshua Naden Gym and Tramp
At the British Univeristy Sailing Association Southern Qualifier, Portsmouth qualified for the playoffs in Glasgow in March and sailed very well. Last weekend was one of the biggest team racing (the sort of sailing we do) events of the year in Southampton. Portsmouth finished sixth, which was the third University. In previous years Portsmouth haven’t even been considered for an entry but this year we are doing really well and beat Bristol Firsts, the last years’ BUSA winners in a race. For more information, see the full match report on pages 15 and 16. Well done to everyone on the team!
Josh has come into the club with great enthusiasm this year. His first trampoline competition saw him coming in the top ten. He has also participated in the Gymnastics side of the club, in which he has excelled. In the BUSA trampoline competition Josh came third, which is amazing for his second competition, qualifying for Nationals. His commitment is above average, which shows in his progress. Josh is also very social within the club and has made the effort to come to socials and took part in the Dance Off. Hopefully he will keep up the good work as he is a great asset to the club.
Dan Hendy Boxing Club
Matthew Skidmore Horse Riding Club
What level do you play at? National
What level do you play at? I only ride Wednesday afternoons...
Have you ever… Been on tour? Nope
Have you ever… Been on tour? Went to Loret last year... riding holiday with the girls this year! Kissed a person of the same sex? Stuff that “you go, we go” shit! Won any silverware for the University? Nowhere near! Slept outside? Yeah, camping’s a nice past-time in the summer!
Kissed a person of the same sex? Sadly yes! Won any silverware for the University? BUSA Gold medal Slept outside? I got locked out of my house after going Time and Envy last year and had to sleep in my front porch Played Touch Cup? Yes... I am not good Been naked in public? Yup Been asked to leave the Union? Yes, I’ve been, asked, told and thrown! Missed a lecture to play sports / to do soco stuff? I missed my first year to play sports! Do you have a MIDAS (mini bus) license? Hahaha, no How many times have you been “gotcha’d”? Just the once... for walking into a window Is Snakebite your choice of beverage at the union? No, it tastes like soap How many societies / clubs have you represented at uni? (1 point for each club) Just boxing Now draw us a donkey...
Score: 16
Played Touch Cup? Standard way to start the night... offshore rules! Been naked in public? I’m a naturist by hobby... of course! Been asked to leave the Union? Been banned for 12 weeks - fighting doormen! Missed a lecture to play sports / to do soco stuff? Everyday unfortunately... hung over! Do you have a midas (mini bus) license? Lost my driving license... haven’t bothered since! How many times have you been “gotcha’d”? This is going to be the first... Peppa nominated me! Is Snakebite your choice of beverage at the Union? 100%...all the way! How many societies / clubs have you represented at uni? (1 point for each club) None... just go riding to meet fit girls, lol! Now draw us a donkey...
Score: 10
15
Purple Wednesday Wednesday 20th February 2008
Sports
On the Spot
Behind the scenes with...
THE RUGBY COMMITTEE Want to see your club committee team here? Email: sportsnews@upsu.net
What is your nickname? Clauds Which Club or Society are you in? Ski & snowboard/ Wakeboard How old are you? 22 Where are you from? Frimley First Portsmouth curry? Ummm I can’t remember that one, but I know it was after Jongleurs sometime in my Second year at the “Gate”! Favourite Movie? Blue Crush (I actually get it and don’t need to ask questions!) What puts a smile on your face? The sun and the ocean What wipes it off? Mean boys! Most embarrassing moment? Washing my feet before getting into bed... you know who you are with this one! Best chat up line? I don’t really do chat up lines, but this is one my house mate likes to use. I am giving you the heads up in case you are their next victim: “Get your coat, I have a knife”! Favourite uni memory? So many, but if I have to pick one; a most recent one, it would be landing my first grab on the piste of the highest resort in Europe... Mum’s Bulge! How quickly can you down a pint? Quicker than you! Favourite dressing-up theme? Rubix Cube... any chance to see men get their bodies out! What’s your best joke? I don’t get jokes, let alone remember them! What three questions would you ask if you went on a blind date? 1) Do you earn over £50k a year? 2) How big are your feet? 3) Are you Xtreme? Tip of the week: Try wakeboarding and understand the love!
Every week we will be bring you an insight into the people behind your University of Portsmouth sports teams. The committees are the life blood of your sport so we want to give you a bit more information about who they are and what they do. This issue we bring you the rugby team. Richard Hayward President Top dog of the club, accused several times of liposuction but as yet no confession. Runs the club and the committee.
Matt Pritchard Club Captain Most years playing in UPRFC, has been here for ever, organises selection and assists the president with the running of the club.
Matt Brown Vice-President Mc Browna organises the kit orders without VAT for everyone and is the chief colourer in the rugby club, especially good with Crayola’s.
Philippa Hall Women’s Chair Chief of the women, generally runs the women’s section of the club and organises the charity events, such as the up coming speed dating.
Ian White 1st Team Men’s Captain First team captain, organises and selects the side, has had a successful season so far after a rocky start.
Sarah Ealey 1st Team Women’s Captain Women’s captain and fly half for the first team. Organises the women for games and often accused of being a rose between thorns!
Sailing Club: 1st Team
Photo: Ed Champman
Lacrosse...
Sailing...
Continued from: page 16
Continued from: page 16
of the away teams net (or it would have done, were the net not so old and ripped). Several Northampton players argued, wrongly, that the ball had flown wide of the post but the goal stood and Pompey had the lead. Much of what followed up to half time was one-way traffic, with Northampton apparently struggling to clear their lines and often squandering the few opportunities they created. Whatever was said to the Northampton players at half time did the job, as they began to gain a foothold on the game and Portsmouth’s dominance became less than total. Pompey earned themselves a number of time penalties through unnecessary challenges and it is a credit to the defence that despite being three men down at one point, they did not concede. This was not always the case however and as the game drew towards a close Northampton added several more goals leading to a tense conclusion to the match. However it is Portsmouth who continue through to the Semis to host Norwich based ‘East Coast.’ Special mention must go to all the Freshers for their performances; their representation in the first team appears to grow every week!
match was a hard a fought race with Southampton 1, last year’s BUSA silver medallists. The close racing saw the umpires worked hard before one of the turning marks; both Sam and Ed from Portsmouth were given penalties by the umpires, handing Southampton an advantage they held to the finish. Southampton 1st and 2nd teams qualified directly to BUSA. Portsmouth 1 and Southampton 3 will contest the playoffs in Glasgow in March. With the South being a strong qualifier, the future looks bright for Portsmouth to qualify for the BUSA finals for the first time in 11 years. Pompey 1: Guy Brearey, Kate Hutchins, Sam Brearey, Jo Coe, Ed Chapman, Hollee Kilkeny Pompey 2: Jay Whitehead, Bradley Field, Tom Taylor, Tomas Price, Sam Woolner, Claire Griffiths
Gotchas
Spot the Difference
Bringing the banter back...
Chuckle-vision
Martin cried, as Squash didn’t make it as Team of the Week Cricket VP is like a Beach Boy: “Round round, get around...” Badminton can’t play ball sports. FACT! Wayne is too heavy for his chair. It’s all those tuna, cheese and brown sauce rolls Andy ‘Sleazy’ Watson has been same sex speed dating... Have you ever seen Peppa without Penny? Bethan Owen has too many ‘tools’ Hockey Ana really is a naughty school girl Lizzie Marsh woke up with a local on Thursday morning Max Fandrejewski showers with Richard Hayward. FACT! Rounders president got a sheep, a field and a vibrator for her birthday Peppa and Marisa have been rewarded for their services to old men Emily Keenan has KNOTT been taking swimming lessons ;) Swim President Rob is on the rampage, no one is safe... animal, mineral or vegetable!
Rugby Fresher Max has been found to be a morris dancer from the age of 7-11, so ask him about his shoes with bells on Sleazy is now Andy Oliver after his mini quiches Tom ‘I hide in bushes’ Worman, can’t handle his drink Hockey Vice President fell asleep outside her house, she couldn’t stay awake long enough to get through the door! Rugby’s club captain would now like to be known as Yorkie, please all start calling him it Pure FM’s treasurer (Phil ‘Skribla’ Jones) is now to be known as Skribla the Dribla; after a long night setting up Pure FM 24 hour broadcast, he started dribbling everywhere in his sleep. Steve Topazio accepted £20 from an OAP - but what for? Peppa’s a gold digger. FACT! Luke’s only interested if you are gender-confused Most of Squash and Badminton wax their legs - FACT! Who’s been getting close to his girlfriend’s plastic friend? Which familiar sporting face demanded his gotcha be removed? Aww... ;o)
Rugby firsts spank Herts (64-7) away!
EE
Lawson: Kidnapped in Birmingham exchange
FR
PURPLE WEDNESDAYS
Issue 10 Wednesday 20.02.08 upsu.net/news
Banter Inside...
with Claudia James Lawson - hockey
Well… After playing Birmingham Thirds in the cup and beating them 7 – 3, we went back to Langstone to sort out MOM + DOD. I got both - how, I don’t know, but I did. After I completed my “two yards”, I got told I was involved in a Fresher Swap and was on my way to Birmingham: at first I thought they were joking, but oh, no, they weren’t! Whatever was in the bag of the Fresher they left in Portsmouth became mine, so I gained six beers, one litre of cider, and his home made picnic (cheers mate!) The beer I got, but the food was taken (obviously). I tried to text my girlfriend to tell her that I may not be able to spend Valentine’s Day with her, but my phone was taken off of me for the rest of the journey (and as you can guess most people in my phone book got a text of some sort). Most of the journey there I was naked and was set random physical challenges, along with singing a song in Fresher Idol (“Wonderwall” was a great hit). They didn’t have many alcoholic consuming rules;
the only one I got caught out on was you can’t say the number 20 + 1, and they sang some good songs, but they need to come to Portsmouth again so we can teach them how Chicago should be sung! They also gave me challenges on the bus and at a service station, like doing 50 press ups in one minute and holding hands with a guy until I got back on the bus (They gave me my boxers back to go in public at least!). We kept getting phone calls asking if they had shaved my head or got me naked; we got told their Fresher was getting a tattoo so I was expecting the same but fortunately they didn’t. When we got to Birmingham we went to one of the guys’ houses - all of the Thirds and Seconds were there [the 2nds are Portsmouth’s opponents in the quarter final on Wednesday 20th Feb]. We then went to a pub where I didn’t last long, and after that I don’t remember what happened. I know that their Thirds are coming to watch their Seconds play, and I am trying to convince them all to stay down for a night to experience the better uni out of the two!
Rugby Firsts playing at home Richard Hayward
After the longest away trip of the season, Portsmouth Rugby Firsts found themselves at the Saracens Academy ground, wondering who they would be up against today. On a beautiful day the sun raged on the pitch and so after a short warm up they returned to the changing room to contemplate their thoughts and get ready for earning the cup place for the Busa shield. From the kick off, Pompey were caught asleep and made to pay early on, with Herts taking an early lead and the try being converted. This was to be the only time Herts truly challenged Pompey and it had the effect of a wake up call for Pompey. From the next kick off Portsmouth began to play and play hard. Not taking no for an answer, Pompey were everywhere on the pitch, crashing up tight to rucks with the forwards and playing expansive rugby at other times from
photos: Tom Worman
touch line to touch line. Pompey dictated the first half, with Herts hardly touching the ball, and the tries rolled in. The second half began like the first, with Portsmouth caught sleeping, however the defence stayed strong and no points were conceded. Portsmouth began to put the gas back on and soon the score board began ticking back over. There are too many great performances on the pitch to mention names, but the try scorers were: - Ricky Bray (five) - Rich Lama - Rich Hayward - Ian White - Matt Brown - Ben Williamson And Chris Thomas converting seven kicks. This performance marked all the hard work put it this year, with training paying off and the result matching the effort made by the players. Bloody Cheers.
Men’s Lacrosse
Sailing
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Continuing with our success
BUSA Southern Sailing Qualifier
PWs needs your club news!
The 27th January saw Portsmouth Uni sailing 1st and 2nd teams head down the M27 to Ringwood for the BUSA southern area qualifier. This event has been traditionally dominated by Southampton teams, with Southampton claiming 1st -4th for the last five years. However, with two direct qualification places and two play off places available with Portsmouth’s promising start to the season it was all to play for. Portsmouth 1 started well beating Southampton 3rd and 4th teams. In contrast Portsmouth 2 had a tough start, losing to Southampton Uni 1 and Southampton Solent 1.
... and features, and photos, and socials, and anything else you want to tell us about your club! It’s easy to get a mention in PWs - just e-mail everything to sportnews@ upsu.net, visit www.upsu.net/newsdesk, or come in to the Sabb Office at the Union and have a chat with us any time!
Ben Endley
No longer content to win once a week, the men’s lacrosse team achieved the new high of winning two simultaneous games this Saturday. The scheduled fixture against her Majesty’s finest, the Royal Navy “Salutes” was cancelled and granted as a walkover (they were scared of us!) And so with Pompey’s perfect league form secure for another week, attention turned to cup competitions on Saturday as Northampton were the visitors for the quarter-final of the
‘Flags’ tournament. Pompey’s older players will remember being outplayed by Northampton in the first round of this tournament last year, losing 11-7 at home. The more resilient Pompey started brightly in front of a substantial(ish) crowd and although initially struggling to score, excellent build up play from the midfield was producing a number of opportunities. It appeared to be only a matter of time before the dogged Northampton defence was breached and sure enough, a long range shot found the bottom corner Continued on: page 15
As the day progressed it became clear that Southampton Uni 1sts and 2nds and Porstmouth 1 were the teams to beat, setting up an exciting finale to the event. First Pompey played Soton 2, an experienced team, all of whom were quarterfinalists at last year’s BUSA finals. Pompey sailed well to win on the water, only to be disqualified for a false start. The 2nd teams final match was a nip and tuck race with Southampton 4, with Southampton sailing away to win in the final stages. The 1st teams final Continued on: page 15