NUS Conference Controversy • Frustration: NUS President as reform vote falls - “I am sick of you” • Unexpected policy change: NUS will no longer fight top-up fees Jacob Leverett
The National Union of Students at its annual conference has voted to drop its focus on opposing tuition fees. Conference has decided that a shift in priority is required and that, rather than lobbying for a free education, the union should instead focus on attempting to prevent any increase to the costs already incurred by students. Elle Gray, UPSU President, believes “the decision to oppose increased Top-Up fees, but abandon the fight for free education means that we can concentrate on winning the arguments not to lift the £3,300 cap in 2009”.
The decision does demonstrate a significant change in policy for the NUS, with some worried that it marks a defeat for the union which represents the views of up to seven million UK students, in the fight over university education. Many advocates of free education are concerned with the change in policy. Gray stated: “there should be no barriers to education, and this decision makes it harder for us to campaign for free education in future which is the only fair way forward”. An NUS spokesperson said: “Rather than just saying we want to simply abolish fees, our policy team are going to work with different economic experts to look at ways of funding higher education”.
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Issue 12 Wednesday 09.04.08 upsu.net/news
Portsmouth’s official student newspaper
National Union of Students drops fees opposition
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pugwash news Governance review falls at last hurdle Tallie Kane & Alex Harries
A furious outburst by the NUS President Gemma Tumelty left conference floor in uproar on the first day of the Annual NUS Conference, as the controversial NUS Governance review - supported both by Tumelty and President elect Wes Streeting fell at the last hurdle by only 4% of the vote needed. The President, whose outspoken support for the widely-criticised reform, angrily declared “I am sick of you. We will be back!” as the governance review fell a mere 25 votes short of the 717 needed for the revolution-leading motion to
gain legitimacy. According to NUS figures, up to 1,400 student delegates voted, representing almost five million students across the UK. Last year at the NUS Annual Conference, delegates from students’ unions across the country voted upon a far-reaching reform of the way that they governed themselves, in order to revive the NUS structure that many felt was failing the students they represented. From this resolution, the Governance Review was born and after a heavily criticised consultation process, was presented at the NUS Conference 2008. The Reform would fundamentally change the way that the NUS currently
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Pugwash Elections Think you could head up the design team or edit the sports news? Pugwash Elections coming soon!
Reviews Futureheads, Southsea Music Festival, and the Foals’ new album
Graduating? • 1,400 delegates from across the country • The UPSU sent nine student delegates • Sets direction of the NUS for the year • More than 100 motions debated over three days • Represents the views of up to 7m students Money
Re-apply for your student loans NOW! If you are a continuing student then you should have received a letter from Student Finance Direct reminding you to reapply for funding. You can either apply online or request a form from your LEA. The deadlines to guarantee your funding is in place for the start of next academic year are: 25th April for students requesting non-means tested support, and 23rd May for students requesting means tested support. If you are a full-time Undergraduate or PGCE student your Tuition Fees for the academic year 2008/09 will raise to £3,145 so ensure you claim the full amount.
Purple Wednesdays
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swimming past such a large object... left the distinct impression we were indeed the aliens in this particular corner of our own world
UPSAC Night Dive Report on page: 13
Make sure you return your Grad Ball tickets application by the 18th April for Grad Ball Tickets!
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VIP Awards: get recognised for your Union involvement!
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The 5th June will witness the 3rd Annual VIP Awards Dinner. It’s the time of year when the Union and the University stand up and applaud the hard work and dedication that our societes and volunteers have shown this year. Our Vice-Chancellor John Craven will be at hand, in a tuxedo-ed fashion, to present five categories of society awards and the individual bronze, silver and gold VIP awards. This year the categories are: Best New Society, Overall Contribution to the Union, Must Organised Society, Most Improved
Society, Society of the Year, The One World Award There will also be individual awards which will be presented to those students or groups who have gone above and beyond to make UPSU the Union it is today. To nominate yourself or someone you think deserves acknowledgement then you can either submit a 300 word “Why I deserve this award...” to Ben Norman on sado@ upsu.net, or download an application form online. Download the packs from: upsu.net/getinvolved/societies/info
Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays is the Union’s student newspaper. If you have something to shout about, from burning issues to match reports, comment to features, or you want to photograph, design or help lay up, get in touch! More info: upsu.net/p/2166
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Pugwash News Wednesday 9th April 2008
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Governance review falls at last hurdle Continued from page 1
through, with limited consultation that did not allow adequate discussion of the implications that would occur if the motion was set in stone. NUS Executive Council member Sofie Buckland spoke against the change, calling students to “reject the attack on Democracy,” adding that, by not passing the motion, it would be “extending, not attacking NUS Democracy”. In the aftermath of the motion, particular unions, such as Sheffield College, were publicly criticised by Streeting on Conference floor for going against their mandate set out for them by their respective councils. There was talk of disaffiliaton by those who felt that the Governance Review would be the only way to save NUS as it stands. UPSU was mandated to vote against the controversial motion, as discussed and passed through Union Council. The highly debated Review needed a two-thirds majority to pass, however after a count due to a lack of distinction to which way the vote fell, the motion failed, not fulfilling its quota of 717 votes by a mere 25, leaving the result at 692. On Monday, the NUS said in its Conference Newsletter that the vote’s simple majority (i.e. over 50%) meant that the Governance review was now a part of NUS policy. Tumelty later appeared on the rostrum in front of the conference, making a reluctant apology for her earlier outburst.
Photo: Antoinette Kyuchukova
operates and bring in a new way of presenting and discussing issues that were important to students. The balance of support for Further and Higher Education institutions in the structure of the NUS has also come under criticism, with accusations of bias towards HErelated issues. It has been claimed that the Governance review would redress this imbalance, providing more opportunities for the involvement of FE institutions. It would have also introduced a full-time International Students Officer. However opposers criticised the new constitutional changes, claiming that they would reduce or hinder the democratic right of students to influence the way that the NUS is run, citing examples such as the employment of non-elected non-student trustees in the decision making process. Speaking for the motion, NUS Secretary Stephen Brown criticised the “useless democratic structure and meaningless policies” of the current structure, calling skepticism of the proposed reforms “dangerous nonsense” and calling for a “radical set of proposals that would bring better democracy and real focus on students”. The current president Gemma Tumelty also voiced her support for changes. Although debated at the recent NUS Extraordinary conference, held to discuss the motion, many felt that the review was rushed
Read the UPSU Council Chair Steve Topazio’s view on page 4
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Matthew Calmus, Aimee Hyatt, Harriet-Rose Chandler, Tom West, Ben Norman, Steve ‘Brian’ Topazio, Gemma Foy, Sally Jones, Andy Needham, Richard Hayward, Diane White, Clara Heard, Chris Burden, Ed Butterfield, Sally Jones, Andy Needham, Ben Noot, Nicholas Pragnell, Hannah Perkins, Anthony Jill Mullins, Alex ‘Oh Hai’ Harries, Jamie Gatley, UPSAC and the Roller Hockey Club
Design: Peter Allsop, Andy Donohoe & Kev Wilkins Features: Matt Blackall Jabberwocky: Steve Topazio
We discovered this issue that khat, a drug, can be called Catha edulis, qat, quat, gat, chat, and miraa.
upsu.net/news/pugwash/archive
Editor: Laura Patricia News Editor: Jacob Leverett Design Editor: Tom Worman Features Editor: Steph Hall Sports Editors: Peppa Barnett & Marisa May Reviews Editor: Tallie Kane Web Editor: Luke Simmonds
F P
Fi’s Joke of the Fortnight Q: What’s pink and fluffy? A: Pink Fluff
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Pugwash News Wednesday 9th April 2008
News
Fortnight’s Politics Jacob Leverett
beauty contest with 1heldAaindifference has been the United Arab
Cannabis Classification The arguments raging about the classification of cannabis have reappeared. BBC News claim the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs has stated the need for the drug to remain a class C substance, the lowest of the classifications. Cannabis was downgraded from a class B drug to class C in January 2004. A Downing Street spokesman stated that the PM’s earlier remarks about the need to signal that cannabis use was illegal and unacceptable still stand.
Emirates. The contest is an international beauty contest for camels. The event has attracted an incredible £4.5m in prizes.
A 9 year old Indone2 sian boy has been returned to his parents after a spending spree of over £5,000. Ahmad Legal Civiandi was found after blowing his family savings on toys and gadgets in a five day extravaganza.
Ken’s Kids London mayoral candidate Ken Livingstone, has denied rumours that his having five children will affect his chances of being re-elected. Livingstone stated that “No one has ever found anything in my private life that was illegal or immoral”. Living Allowances Following debates over the cost of MPs’ living allowances, many suggestions have been made. Suggestions have included making living costs part of salaries, tightening up on transparency of the existing system, and the introduction of housing to be made available to MPs which some have described as similar to student Halls of Residence. Fashion Debate Harriet Harman and William Hague have been bickering during PMQs over their fashion choices. Harman was criticised for wearing a stab proof vest whilst on a police visit in her own constituency, with Hague suggesting that Harman dresses “as a clown” for Cabinet meetings. Harman retorted by reminding the previous Tory leader of some of his fashion faux pas.
Minister Justifies Fees Jacob Leverett
John Denham, the Secretary of State for Innovations, Universities and Skills, visits the University and meets students. During his visit to Portsmouth, John Denham, who has the responsibility within government for policy surrounding universities, was asked about his opinion on the current state of education and how he sees the future of Higher education. “I suppose the most obvious point is that, for a country like ours, in the 21st century the only way we can compete and be prosperous in the future is for us to invest in the future, and the only we can make sure everyone in our society can share in that prosperity is to develop our skills and talents. There can’t be a more important activity than education, obviously education at school but also college and university, much of our future as country depends on what we do in our universities and colleges.”
Many students have significant financial difficulties with debt and struggle with the moral issues behind charging students large amounts of money for their education, many politically motivated students including those at our own university spend a great deal of time and energy opposing fees. As John Denham is the minister responsible for universities we asked how he can justify students being forced to pay for their education. “What we justify is a fair contribution, towards the overall cost of their education which is very largely financed by the taxpayer. It is pretty much a one way bet, you’re investing in your own future you can expect to benefit from it, the taxpayer is most of the costs of your education that’s a fair outcome”. Tuition fees have been increasing steadily in recent years with the government introducing Top-up fees in 2004. This system demands that all new Higher Education stu-
Tech & web
Get Involved
Student phone company Dot Mobile in administration
Activists’ Academy
Dot Mobile, the student-focused mobile phone operator, have been placed into administration. Dot, who were signing customers up in students’ unions - including our own - have since the 18th March been in administration. The company’s website states “contract of service remains unaffected. Dot will continue to invoice and collect payments in the normal way.” The company has also reassured customers that “Vodafone, who are the providers of your airtime service contract, have reached agreement... to ensure there is no interruption to the airtime services available to you.”
The UPSU is proud to host its first ever Activist Academy, a day of guest speakers, practical workshops, debates, seminars and film showings all aimed to engage and inspire. The day will cover a broad range of issues from seminars and debates Social Justice issues, the environment, free education as well as a series of guest speakers and practical workshops. The event aims to engage and inspire arming students with the skills to run effective and successful campaigns. The event is free and is on Saturday 12th April visit:
Photo: Jacob Leverett
upsu.net/diary/event/714.htm
dents pay around £3,000 a year for their education. Plans are currently being proposed to lift the cap and charge students up to £15,000 per a year. The government has maintained that the fees are fair and justified but student rights groups question the fairness of the system. Also during the visit, Mr Denham, the Member of Parliament responsible for Higher Education, met with students and spent time discussing the future of higher education funding with Students’ Union President Elle Gray and representatives of the Universities Politic and Labour societies. The discussions formed part of the minister’s one-day visit to the University, which also included touring the Expert centre to witness students practicing medical techniques on realistic human mannequins, and meeting with University Vice-Chancellor John Craven and other high level staff. Watch the interview: upsu.net/news
**Visiting Speakers** Virgine Pregny: France 1968 and why it can happen again Craig Murry (Pending): Former Ambassador to Uzbekistan **Films** “The revolution will not be televised” **Debates** Free Education: Can it be won? The No Platform policy/Freedom of speech What is the future of the NUS and the Student Movement? **Seminars**
The US has banned 3 Yemeni immigrants who are addicted to Khat. The leaf grown in eastern Africa is known for its amphetamine-like stimulant qualities and is a controlled substance in many countries.
A Japanese family have installed 4 a high tech barcode on
their family’s crypt. The “QR” square allows mobile phone users to link with photos of the family and to access their memoirs.
A Hampshire man is 5 looking to employ a drinking partner for his father, offering £7 an hour to escort his 88-yr old father on his trips to the local pub.
Climate Change: What can be done? Neo-liberalism in Education France and Greece: Student Movements Human Rights in Tibet Venezula: The Future Of Latin American Non-violent direct action by War on Want The Art of Boycotting: The Coca-Cola question Ditching Dirty Development: People & Planet So, don’t Just Stand there, Do Something!
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Pugwash News Wednesday 9th April 2008
News and Comment
Results of UPSU Editorial elections announced Jacob Leverett
Photo: Jacob Leverett
Pyramids Centre saved, but for how long? Jacob Leverett
The Pyramids Centre which was due to be closed on the 31st March has been granted a reprieve by the city council. The local authority have agreed to support the centre for another 13 months until a new private operator can be located. Council leader Gerald VernonJackson announced that the council had located a reported a £682,000 financial package to support the centre. Council reports had previously reported that it would cost about £32m to maintain and repair the centre. The centre which houses a cafe, nightclub, pub and leisure centre alongside being a favorite for both local and internationally recognised bands to play has had a great deal of support, with over 9,000 signatories signing a petition to save the centre. In the past two months Hot Chip, Diz-
The UPSU annual elections, which select who will run the Union next year, have come to a close with the new team being announced. The 2008/2009 Sabb team are: Andrew Machin (President) Caz Bird (Student Support) Ella Lawson (Student Activities & Development) Steve Topazio (Education & Representation Simon Leach (Sports), and Tom Worman (Media & Publications). The campaigns by all the candidates were passionately run, with free hugs, monkey suits and even a sofa all being used by candidates to attract attention. The UPSU elections figures online show an increase in the number of students voting from last year, with a 63% turn-up in the number of students taking part in the NUS affiliation vote, and approximately 13% more voters in the presidential
election, calling into question the assertion by one student that “the turn out was appallingly low. You could put this down to the weather but really it follows the trend from previous years.” However, further analysis of the figures shows an issue regarding spoilt ballots: in the NUS affiliation vote, 43% of ballot papers were deemed to be “spoilt” by election officials. The closest battle was for the position of Education and Representation officer with a mere 112 votes separating the candidates in the first round. The elections result night was a passionate event, with candidates, supporters and staff anxiously awaiting the results and celebrating and commiserating together. More info, videos and more online: upsu.net/elections
zee Rascal and The Hoosiers have all played at the centre and many bands have expressed their disappointment in the closure. Although critics of the closure support the councils decision concerns have been raised that the Liberal Democrat council have used the decision for political gain. Local elections are being held on the 1st May and the decision appears to be timed to gain support for council leaders. Steve Wemyss, the leader of the conservative group of councillors is reported as saying “Cynical people would say that the reason you are saving it in 13 months is that there will be no election then for people to judge you. We had better make sure this marketing exercise goes ahead properly and we do our best by the Pyramids” More info: upsu.net/p/3058
Photos: Alex Harries & Jacob Leverett
Jacob Leverett
As yet another issue of Pugwash News is put to bed, I realise with some trepidation that we have actually reached 12 issues. Many said that we would never get this far, some said we would never achieve much. Looking back over what we have achieved, I am startled. Being one of the team that’s been involved in this publication since its birth, I have noticed not only myself mature, but our newspaper has its own identity, the styles have been tweaked and fondled numerous times (and the clichés have inevitably got even worse). We have had situations that were good, bad and downright ugly but it’s been an exciting journey. Throughout this, one thing has held us all together - the team. It is at the core of anything and everything we have done. It is the time of the year when we start to look at the coming year. Our newspaper is about to reach its thirteenth, its teenage issue: our little baby is becoming a teenager. At this point it becomes obvious that things are going to change. A new Media and Publications Officer has been elected and we are approaching the elections of our own editorial team. For anyone who is awaiting change, it can be both exciting and nerve racking. A new team means new ideas, new understandings and new intentions. So I ask that you look over this and previous issues of the newspaper and our older sister Pugwash magazine. See what you like and what you don’t, and tell us. We are the newspaper of you, the Portsmouth student and, as such, we are here to give you what you want and to represent you as best as we can so, if you discover that there are things you feel should change or you would like to see more of, please get involved. More on Pugwash: upsu.net/news/pugwash Read more of Jacob’s ramblings: upsu.net/blogs/jacobleverett
Comment
Why bother with NUS Conference? Steve Topazio, Union Council Chair & NUS Conference 2008 delegate
As I sat on the train to Blackpool for the NUS conference a thought occurred to me; apart from the free cheeseburger from McDonald’s that I was eating, what do NUS give me? The next three days taught me a lot; NUS do a bloody lot, campaign against fees, against unfair tenants and representing us at the highest levels of the government. Yes our new NUS President is a Labour Student, but he slags off the Labour Party more than I do. I noticed quite a lot of things at the conference; the
first being that NUS conference in its current format just doesn’t work. The amount of procedural motions and attempted changes to motions meant that we didn’t even have time to debate all the motions. Sometimes in my opinion democracy goes too far, but then in the case of the Governance Review debate, democracy was there to save the day. I have never felt so involved and caught up in a situation than this debate. There was so much emotion being shown by both sides that it made me proud to be their representing our students and witnessing the single most exciting debate that took
place. One thing we can take away from the conference is that change is needed and fast, and in the words of the outgoing President, “We will be back, and we will drag this Union into the 21st Century”. This I don’t doubt but please don’t take away our annual conference as it really is fun and I want to be back next year standing on that podium representing each and every one of our 20,000 students. One thing would be nice however and that would be the Labour, Socialist and Respect Students making friends, as their constant bickering really is holding back our Union. If
they don’t I will lock them in a room until they do. All that leaves me to say is; NUS Conference – LOVE IT.
If you have something to say on this or any other matter: email us on comment@upsu.net Please note that the views expressed here are those of the individual and are not endorsed by Pugwash News or The Union
Because... In response to a blog entry by Alex Harries on the Governance Review Marcus added his opinion:
“I’m glad it didn’t get through in fact, if they told people what would actually be in the review (such article 64, promising the abolition of the right of Conference to make proper decisions) instead of saying ‘change modernisation change’ like a student Obama, there is no way they would have got it through. Educate people next time, and we who voted against it would be in the majority, not the minority!”
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Pugwash News Wednesday 9th April 2008
Features
UPSU Editorial Elections 2008-2009
Win: Bestival tickets with Kickers
Think you could do better ?
Kickers are giving away Bestival tickets and original Kickers Kick-Hi boots, plus discounts to Portsmouth students, all this month - to take part, just get yourself snapped with a pair of Kickers legs. Kickers legs in various positions to celebrate the launch of their new range, Kickers are giving away classic Kick-Hi boots and festival tickets through the Kickers website in their great new promotion quite aptly named “Find Your Feet”. Over 100 pairs of life size Kickers “legs” have been placed around Portsmouth University campus for students to find and start snapping whether in the bar, the dance floor, or even... ahem... the bedroom!! Kickers want to see the funniest pictures, including - for example - legs tackling the rugby captain, scoring for the football team, appearing on stage with your band, at the salon for a wax or even behind a lectern filling in for your favourite lecturer. Once you’ve located the legs, simply show the guys at Kickers a bit of them by uploading your best pictures to the Kickers website to be in the running for the prizes!! And, if that’s not enough, on each pair of legs there’s a text code for you to get 10% off your next pair of Kickers when you visit www. kickers.co.uk. So Find your Feet now, before someone else does!
• Could you see yourself writing, designing or editing for Pugwash News, Purple Wednesdays, Pugwash Magazine and UPSU.net? • Do you want to develop skills that will help set you up for a career in the media? • Would you like to see your work published to over 20,000 students and many more worldwide? We are looking for the new 2008/2009 UPSU media editorial teams to help put together our award winning publications and you could be the innovative, forward-thinking person we need! Positions Available: • Magazine Editor • Magazine Design Editor
Pugwash magazine is the University of Portsmouth Students’ Union’s student lifestyle magazine, containing 44 pages of features and reviews in every one of the five issues printed per year.
• Newspaper Editor • Newspaper Design Editor
Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays is the Union’s new fortnightly newspaper, covering news, sport, reviews, comment and features.
• Web Editor • • • • •
For Further Information visit: upsu.net/p/3282
Head of News (Editor) Life and Style Editor Arts and Entertainments Editor Comment and Opinion Editor Sports Editor
• Copy Editor • Marketing and Distribution Manager
UPSU MEDIA ELECTIONS Thursday 1st May 2008
Both publications are written, created and produced by the students of the University of Portsmouth, and every student is not only welcome to get involved - it’s every student’s duty to have their say on the matters that affect them the most during their time at University!
All positions will recieve full training from our staff and the media officer will always be on hand to help you develop. The experience and benefit volunteering for UPSU media is phenominal and so rewarding, what’s stopping you from getting involved ? If you don’t fancy running for an editorial position - no worries; in the first few weeks of next year we will be running elections for subeditors and encouraging as many people as possible to contribute to our fantastic publications.
In Lux at the Union from 7pm. Questions? Email: mediaofficer@upsu.net
Life & style » health
the Union » JobShop
De-stress with a healthy food boost
JobShop jobs of the week
The Union has a new weekly fresh fruit and veg market, courtesy of those healthy people at ThinkFresh. As the end of the year looms, we’ve scoured the web to bring you some handy eating ideas to give your brain a bit of a boost: 1 Maintain iron levels King’s College London found that those whose diets were high in iron performed significantly better in cognitive assessments. Good sources are red meat, leafy green vegetables, eggs and fortified breakfast cereals. 2 Boost Energy - the brain needs glycogen - supplied most
efficiently through complex carbohydrate foods - to keep working optimally and to fire vital neurotransmitters. Good snack choices: bananas, bagels, sugar-free breakfast cereals, dried fruit. 3 Eat Breakfast - The University of Israel found that those who had eaten a bowl of cereal on the morning of the exam had better results than those who ate nothing. Beans on toast will give you a significantly better chance than just a piece of toast. 4 De-stress with salad - it’s a tough time of year - and you need to keep a clear head. Lettuce has a
natural sedative called lactucarium, long used by naturopaths for its calming properties. Lettuce and celery will help keep those nerves at bay. 5 Berries - blueberries are the ultimate brain food because of their rich antioxidant content. A strawberry-rich diet seems beneficial to humans too - and snacking on these will keep you from putting on a junk-food spread while revising! The ThinkFresh fruit & veg market visits the Union every Wednesday. Food tips from the Telegraph (tinyurl.com/5v2pkd).
Jobs Fair: Thu 10th April 11am - 2.30pm in Club Lux Looking for summer employment? Looking for part time employment? Come along on Thursday 10th between 11am-2.30pm. Contact Centre Agents for Kate Foley Recruitment in Portsmouth upsu.net/jobshop/jobs/J0000213 Reservations Clerk for Solent Hotel at Whiteley, near Fareham upsu.net/jobshop/jobs/J0000229 Administrative support for the Occupational Health Department for Oasis Recruitment in Havant upsu.net/jobshop/jobs/J0000217 Telephone Banking Advisors re-
quired for Lloyds TSB upsu.net/jobshop/jobs/J00002109 Production Operatives required for Palmer & Harvey upsu.net/jobshop/jobs/J0000221 SUP4L - Money Doctors: Are you a Final Year Student? 1 hour workshop on Friday 25th April about all the important information you’ll need to be aware for when you leave university Student Tax Advice: whatever your job... Don’t be confused by tax! For further information visit: www.studenttaxadvice.org.uk For hundreds more jobs, visit: upsu.net/jobshop
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Pugwash News Wednesday 9th April 2008
Features
A i
Israel: Journey How (not) to make an through the Thrice impression with the Promised Land Secretary of State...
Ben Norman
Before you even touch down on Israeli soil, you are made all too aware that this is no ordinary holiday destination. Looking out of the cabin window, I can make out Tel Aviv. Suddenly the woman next to me leans across with a look of concern on her face and warns “don’t take any photographs out of the window; they’ll be confiscated and you’ll be questioned”. Clearly security is not an issue which Israelis take lightly, and who could blame them? 2008 sees the 60th anniversary of the establishment of the Israeli state, and each of those years has been scarred with war and stained with blood. Flying into Tel Aviv is to fly into one of the most complex Gordian knots of international politics; it is flying in to a land which has suffered invasions, counter invasions and suicide bombings. It is because of this recent history, and Israel’s continued foreign policy of occupation, that means this is a country where war, or at least the perceived threat of war, is burned into the national consciousness. The occupation of the West bank, the human rights abuses committed against Palestinians, the vast partition wall; each of these crimes stand in accusation of the Israeli government. Whilst it is these war crimes I went to witness, it is crucial to remember that this is not a one sided conflict. There are heroes, villains and victims on both sides. It is in a bar in Haifa that this message is hammered home to me. In the city of Galilee I heard the voice of the ordinary Israeli epitomised. Tomer is a thirty year old family man, who owns the “Sketch bar” where I found myself during my first night in the city. After I explained why I was in Israel, I asked Tomer what the ordinary
Israeli feels about the war. He told me, “we keep smiling even through we don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. We’re surrounded by countries that want to wipe us out.” When I spoke to Tomer, it was eleven months after the war waged between the Israeli defence force (IDF), and the Hezbollah in southern Lebanon. During the conflict, the Israeli air force mercilessly bombed Lebanese cities resulting in what UN general secretary Kofi Anan denounced as war crimes. Simultaneously, the Hezbollah launched hundreds of Katusha rockets over the Israeli border. Tomer informed me that such a rocket exploded only yards from his home. He sent his family to Eilat in the south as it was the only thing he could do to protect them. Fear for his family is etched on his face as he then moves the conversation onto Iran, the Iranian nuclear programme being the newest perceived threat to Israel. I ask if he believes Iran would use such a weapon, and he waves his arm dismissively as he says that Saddam Hussein’s gassing of the Kurds during the Gulf war proves that “Arabic nations will use weapons of mass destruction.” He continues by saying that the IDF could “wipe the West bank out in half an hour”, that Israel were too concerned with avoiding civilian casualties to tackle the Hezbollah properly, and that the Government should “build the wall higher”. Almost a year after the war, the people of Israel have retreated into a mental mixture of fatalistic apathy and official rhetoric. Indeed, these are the words of a man who knows the front lines lie only miles away. Today, as the Hezbollah threaten war, as Israeli government spokesmen rattle their ideological sabres, as the humanitarian situation in Gaza worsens, remember that there are victims on both sides.
Alex Harries
On March 29th I had the pleasure of meeting not only the University Vice-Chancellor John Craven but also the Secretary of State, John Denham. News editor Jacob Leverett was given the potentially career-defining opportunity of interviewing the minister, with a clean-slate interview (i.e. we weren’t proscribed any questions), and after the inevitable nervousness, handled the task with aplomb.
Throughout the interview, I was sat off behind camera and, as the grilling drew to a close, realised the need to get a photo of the occasion, I grabbed the only camera to hand: Jacob’s Nikon D-something-or-other. I managed to turn it on and ask, in my best “meeja-related-person” voice, “ehhm, could I ask you gents to pose for a very quick photo please?”. Both Mr Denham and Mr Leverett agreed and, putting on their best grins/grimaces, turned to the camera. Yes, I managed to take a photo... But no, I hadn’t got as far as figuring out how Jacob’s
T
E damned flash worked. Bugger. Ofs course, I bravely soldiered on andw did my best to give the impressionm that I knew exactly what I wasa doing, and that my command ofg the camera’s manual configuration meant I didn’t need such paltryt technological aids as a flashgun...t Until Jacob shattered my carefully-d crafted illusion with “You have noT idea how to operate my camera, do you Alex?” “Err, no... Not exactly” Io t replied. Bugger. Again. m h To read more about this visit go to www.upsu.net/news/news/politics o a
TV Licencing: Repeat Offender
photo: fudj at flickr.com Matthew Calmus
Sign number 101 that you are a university student: you get excited when an unpaid TV licence bill hits the doormat. Just me? Ok then, but that excitement soon fades – not because another debt notice beats you between the eyes, but because the realisation stirs that you do not actually have a television. I decided not to buy a “right to watch the box” - or indeed, a box to watch! - on the basis that there are just too many other interesting things to do in Portsmouth. That, and a personal belief that it is false
economy to part with £135 just to watch mostly re-runs, is what informed my decision. Boy, am I being made to regret it. I have been branded a “lawbreaker,” a “criminal” and received a written caution for allegedly persisting to contravene section 366 of the 2003 Communications Act over a period spanning five months. Except, of course, I have not actually done anything wrong – whatever happened to being innocent until proven guilty? My only crime to date is indirectly causing a carbon footprint in wasted paper. So pick up the phone and stop this nonsense I
“
T a m l a h y hear the reader cry. Perhaps I mightq if I had not already informed themb three times that I did not own a TV last autumn. Now the gloveso are off because this periodical postI still arrives like hate mail; my half-o sadistic side wants to see that whiten van roll up by the pavement while Io laugh into a Pot Noodle. E But back to The Legal Occupierr (they do not even know my name,s much less do they care), versusa Auntie Beeb. Pay the fee and endi the feud? You must be joking. Liket their constant letters, the BBC isT just streaming a bunch of repeats.g Besides, when the swat team does finally appear, I will be ready. ‘
Elections
Campaign Week From A ‘Fresh’ Point Of View
Aimee Hyatt
Aimee Hyatt explains why campaigning in the University of Portsmouth Student Union’s Sabbatical elections has opened her eyes to a whole new side of The Union. As crazy as it may seem, all the people dressed up in different colours and outfits that may have approached you or you saw carrying a sofa around and gatecrashing your lecture before Easter were out there to get a message across to you. On the way to your lectures or the library, the streets were lined
with campaigners working for their representative, in the aim to win votes for them to be your new sabbatical officers by any means possible! This inevitably involved the handing out of free sweets and lots of stickers. I know that if I hadn’t been involved as a campaigner, I myself would have been very encouraged to cross the road in order to avoid being approached by these vast mobs. However, after standing in the cold, walking through the rain, dressing up, heading out to campaign in clubs, and a lot of banter,
I think participating in campaign week is something that is not to be missed. Involvement in one of the most important weeks of the year is an experience you will never match on entertainment, team building, drinking and laughter at university. So next year, get involved. Help out your mates, friends of friends, people you know through societies, that guy you met that night in The Union or even random strangers who are running. Just get stuck in and mostly, enjoy yourself! Find out more: upsu.net/elections
M
N
L t f g t s r a t s s t a a photo: Jacob Leverett t
7
Pugwash News Wednesday 9th April 2008
Features
An Englishman in Spain
Everything’s been going quite smoothly since my last column, with everyone getting used to the more sedate lifestyle here in Granada, and apart from me, getting to grips with uni here as well. It all started with me defying the universe; daring it to create a timetabling system harder to understand than that I encountered in Toulouse. So it did. I missed a whole week’s worth of classes whilst I tried to come to terms with the fact that the information given to us in the student handbook was not representative of what’s more commonly known as ‘real life’.
which, should you join, allows you free entry. Whoop. It’s just a shame I didn’t know this before I went. Anyway, once inside, I found it to be not that bad a place, with quite a good bit of old skool blaring out and, hmm, ‘reasonably’ priced drinks. What killed it, perhaps, was the fact that it was so overcrowded that every step I took on the dance floor resulted in my being penetrated in every available orifice. I, along with my other flatmate Emily, decided to stay the entire night so we could witness the majestic rising of the sun over the mountains surrounding Granada, which would have been nice had we not been facing the wrong mountains...
“
“
Tom West
I decided to go against every gram of my judgement
People often wonder why I drink. This is why. Anyway, after much ado about many things, I sorted out my timetable; a selection of boring language and translation units and, as a treat to myself, a unit on the history of comics. ‘Geek!’ I hear you cry. ‘Bothered?!’ I cry back. It’s quite fun, and I get to mock the bigger geeks in the class. In order to get over the stress of the whole timetabling episode, I decided to go against every gram of my judgement, (I’ve gone metric now I’m in Spain), and went to one of the ‘special’ club nights for Erasmus students here. You may remember me once stating my personal views on organised fun and, after going to one of these nights in Toulouse, I was quite prepared to forevermore forgo the ‘pleasure’. To give it its due, there were some good things. This club has a group on a ‘popular social networking site’
Every step I took on the dance floor resulted in my being penetrated in every available orifice.
Please, if ever you hear that I’m thinking of going to another of these nights, find me and by any means possible prevent me. Consider it a public service. That, possibly rather sadly, has been the standard for most of my adventures here so far. I didn’t go home for Easter so I was able to find the madness in other towns within the region; Malaga makes for quite a nice day trip should you choose to ignore the crazy people, one of which swore to me that England was going to sink beneath the sea next year and consequently we’d all be living on the moon. I do believe I’m going to need another year abroad to get over this one once it’s done. Tom will be back with us next issue, assuming he survives his travels...!
Sir, my reputation precedes me... Tallie Kane
It’s not a new question, or one that is going to end any time soon, and will probably never be answered; does the reputation or life of an author have a part to play in the success, or failure of their work? Many of you read the lives and times of your favourite actors, musicians and even authors but many could not say why they like them in regards to the work they do. Take for example, Heath Ledger: an unfortunate death, but one that will be riddled with suspicion, and no doubt that as a result his bulk sales will be driven up. But in time, his reputation, and his death will be the remaining evidence of his life’s work. Can this also be argued for authors, poets and playwrights? Can an author’s work remain autonomous from their surroundings, or what they got up to? There are many cases that come to mind with this one, reputation versus reception; Edgar Allen Poe was an avid drinker, as was Dylan Thomas. Virginia Woolf was apparently quite obnoxious, while Oscar Wilde was a very naughty boy, and Sylvia Plath was a bitch, apparently. The ongoing Plath-Hughes argument - whether or not their works would have survived had they had not had a tumultuous relationship - still prevails in the literary world. There is no doubt that both poets were something to remember, but would they have been pushed to extinction if they had never met each other? I am not suggesting that their relationship was grounded on some sort of intent for fame, but should we perhaps perversely thank the disaster that was their relationship for the fact that we can still read them, and that some of the couple’s best work came from their experiences of one another? From her greatest literary critics to the teenager that first comes across her within the depth of their own self-discovery, many still remain obsessed with Plaths’ suicide, alongside many of the other confessional poets of the ‘60s such as
Anne Sexton. Plath, without doubt, led a life with a certain legacy, from autobiographical poems such as ‘Lady Lazarus’ which deals with the notions of suicide and rebirth that echo harshly in her own experience; to the semi-biographical ‘The Bell Jar’, her own experiences hauntingly portrayed through the eyes of Esther Greenwood. The literary term “an unreliable narrator” could have been coined with short, odd, homosexual Truman Capote in mind, as he seemed to be an unreliable narrator of his own life, feigning relationships with allegedly heterosexual men and certain celebrities of his time. You cannot deny Capote’s talent but the fact remains that many times it is often overlooked because of his celebrity status in the literary world.
“
an unreliable narrator” could have been coined with short, odd, homosexual Truman Capote in mind
Would it make a difference that the author’s works should remain autonomous from the creator? If I were to commit a savage murder and then write the criticallyacclaimed masterpiece of the century, would it have only become so because I had a less-than-ordinary reputation? Or if I was the most boring bastard in the world and wrote the same thing, would it had been received the same even though there was no controversy linked to it? What you’re likely to find is that, amidst our growing ‘celebrity culture’, it will be very hard to be completely detached from your environment once you’ve released your 400 page baby into the world. They’ll want to know how much you smoke, drink, what you eat, do, watch, and who you’re currently dating and whether they
Literature
Labour society debate
Musings on Freud
Your chance to grill politicians: Labour society debate, April 17
Nicholas Prangnell
Levi Bellfield, the hideous, immature, arrogant night club bouncer from West London was found guilty last month of the murder of two young women. And this person could be you. No, do not stop reading, pass go or dismiss this article as a joke – Sigmund Freud the founder of the psychoanalytic school of psychology said so himself. If you follow Freud’s work then you know he says that, after analysis, most people can be seen as a danger to society. Not only that, but his theories suggest all
human behavior and personality are caused by external forces. So, given the right environment we all could end up like Levi Bellfield. It is reassuring that much of Freud’s work, such as men being sexually attracted to their mothers, has been denounced. I know plenty of people who have had far from perfect upbringings and managed not to turn into monsters. Freud’s work suggests anybody could develop the same way as Levi Bellfield, but don’t believe everything he says, after all, the majority of this work has been criticised.
Steve Topazio
The University of Portsmouth Labour society would like to extend an open invitation to all students to a Question Time style debate taking place on Thursday 17th April at 7.30pm in Park building. This event is being hosted by the Labour Students society and is a chance for students to hold politicians to account. At the debate you will be able to voice your views about anything from Iraq and the environment to tuitions fees and student debt. Answering your questions on the
approve of them or not. It’s almost like that over-reactive parent that just won’t let you stand on your own two feet. It is fortunate sometimes to think that Katie Prices’ books would never have hit the shelves had “Jordan” not existed, but the mere fact that she does and has published these horrendous works makes me want to send something nasty through the post to her publisher for their crimes to literature. Here’s a quick, non-dead one; ever heard of £3,000-a-lecture ‘Blitcon’ Martin Amis? It’s likely you can’t think of any of his works off the top of your head, as his political views concerning his opinions of the Muslim community and the 9/11 attack on the US seem to be the one and only thing that seems to hit the headlines for nowadays. They do say you pay those few (or hundreds in this case) pennies more for unadulterated controversy. So, should your personal life be one of the measures used to gauge how good your work is? Will your life be stretched before your critics before your pages are? There is no doubt that there are implications that come with being a murderer, homosexual, black, or a woman, and it would be interesting to give the work to someone who knows who the author is, and someone who has no clue.
Advertising
panel will be the Labour MP for Portsmouth North Sarah McCarthy - Fry, the Conservative candidate running against Sarah for the Portsmouth North seat at the next election Penny Mordeant and a speaker from the Liberal democrat party. This is the first time that a society the University of Portsmouth has organised such an event and it will be an interesting evening of debate. To find more about the society, or to submit a question to the debate, please contact the Labout Society president Morys Ireland. Email: m.ireland@hotmail.com
8
Pugwash News Wednesday 9th April 2008
Features
EARTH HOUR On 29th March, Hampshire joined the rest of the world in switching off lights to inspire people to take action against climate change. Spinnaker Tower, the most iconic building in Hampshire, had been illuminated green for the past 29 days in support of the Green Month campaign.
That evening, it joined 24 cities around the world as part of Earth Hour – the operation to encourage businesses, communities and individuals to take simple steps needed to cut their energy emissions. People and organisations all over the world switched off their lights for the hour, proving that small actions everyone can
make will help the fight against global warming. In the run up to the switch off, lucky ticket winners poured into the waterfront bar and were set for three hours of partying in the dark, but before they made full use of their free drinks tokens, I asked them about their views on ‘going green’: What changes are you making to be more environmentally friendly? Amy and Nina: The only thing we do is recycle. We would like to do more but it’s quite expensive to go completely green. Paul: I recently bought a low-powered laptop. Emma: Mainly recycling, but I’m still throwing lots of things away because the council won’t take them. Things like plastic packaging and drinks cartons can be taken at my parent’s house in Essex, but not here. Something needs to be done so that these items can be recycled too. What are the biggest ungreen things that you do? Amy: It’s probably taking too many hot baths, because we don’t have a shower at the moment! Paul: I have to travel a lot for my job and it often means that I need to take long-haul flights. Emma: Our office has no recycling plan and I get through so much paper everyday. My daughter also has an aquarium which uses electricity for lighting and water movement. How do you think Earth Hour will help? Nina: If the world collectively switches off its lighting for a whole hour then yes, it will definitely make a difference.
Paul: I’m not sure how much of a difference it’s going to make. Much more needs to be done than just switching off the lights.
Emma: Even if people aren’t going to switch off their lights tonight, they will at least be aware of this campaign – it’s been on the radio for the last month, and Google even turned its homepage black today! Just making the world aware about how they can change their ways is an achievement in itself.
At one minute to eight, the crowd gathered around the stage and Lucio [the MC] started a countdown live on air. As soon as the clock struck eight o clock, the Spinnaker (which can usually be seen from twenty miles across the south coast), plunged into total darkness. The party continued until ten, and everybody seemed to have a great time.
With millions of people around the world sharing such an experience, there’s hope for the future of climate change. The night culminated with the amazing vocals of Booty Luv, who got the crowd dancing with their biggest hits ‘Some Kinda Rush,’ ‘Shine’ and of course ‘Boogie 2Nite.’ The event has been a great first step, but if we’re to reach Earth Hour’s eventual goal of reducing annual emissions by 5%, then companies, communities, and individuals, must strive to make Earth Hour part of their everyday life.
Clara Heard
9
Pugwash News Wednesday 9th April 2008
Features
UPSU
ELECTI
ONS
And the winners are... The results of the hard-fought 2008 UPSU Elections have been announced, and here are the six students who will be running your students’ union next year.
Andy Machin President Elect
The Union President is the principle representative of the 20,000 students here at the University. It is the president’s job to co-ordinate the efforts of the Sabbatical team and the Union staff. The president works closely with the senior management on all issues especially the strategic plan and the Unions’ finances.
Steve Topazio
Education and Representation Officer Elect The main focus of the Education and Representation Officer is academic support and equal and fair representation of students. Other attributes of this role are support with elections. This portfolio also runs all Union disciplinary procedures.
President Andrew Machin Ben Norman r.o.n Spoilt/non-transfer Total
Student Support
Caz Bird
Student Support Officer Elect The Student Support Officer will be directly responsible for welfare, as well as running all campaigns and the support for volunteers. The Student Support Officer runs Elections, along with all the democracy of the SU, i.e. Union Council and general meetings.
Simon Leach
Sports Officer Elect The focus of the Sports Officer is primarily on sports. A Sports Management Board has recently been introduced, which will help support the Sports Officer on items like budget decisions and the monitoring of Union expenditure on sports and all costs associated with the running of UPSU sporting activities.
The media and publications role incorporates all UPSU’s publicity material to increase awareness and participation in the Union, which the elected Sabbatical will work closely with the membership services team to produce.
171 2004 Stage 1
Stage 2
Andrea Bowie
462
508
Peter Henry
167 n/a
0/57
Total
2001
2001
Stage 1
Stage 2
Carl Jackson
157
Ella Lawson
1021
Jenny Leggott r.o.n Spoilt/non-transfer Total
243
Stage 1
Stage 2 761 903
Mark Fairall
181
Media Officer Tom Worman
Stage 3
Result elected
47 258 2061
2002
Stage 1
Stage 2
Stage 3
1326
Result ELECTED
320 355 2001
2001
Stage 1
Stage 2
1459
r.o.n
196
Spoilt/non-transfer
346
Total
Result
2000
702
Total
Stage 3
46
814
Spoilt/non-transfer
ELECTED
ELECTED
Steve Topazio
r.o.n
Result
533
Matthew Pritchard
Simon Leach
Stage 3
21
Spoilt/non-transfer
Sports Officer
Deals with the creation and running of societies, student training and volunteering projects through STAND and VIP Volunteering.
50
406
Total
Media and Publications Officer Elect
ELECTED
925
S.A.D.O
Result
637
366
r.o.n
Stage 3
1146
880
r.o.n
Student Activities and Development Officer Elect
Stage 2
Caz Bird
Spoilt/non-transfer
Tom Worman
Stage 1
Sarah Blatchford
Ed and Rep
Ella Lawson
2008
2001
Stage 3
Result ELECTED
10
Pugwash News Wednesday 9th April 2008
Arts and Entertainments
Album of the Fortnight Singles
Foals Antidotes Rating: Joel Growney
So this is it. For the better part of a year now, Oxford five piece Foals have been the darlings of every cutting edge music mag or website worth it’s salt, but after all the hype, can their debut al-
bum, ‘Antidotes’ live up to such high expectations? In a word, Yes. Those seeking what they heard in the curiously absent singles ‘Hummer’ and ‘Mathletics’ will be delighted to find that the majority of the eleven tracks that are on the album continue to showcase the urgency and verve that is unmistakably Foals. However, tracks such as ‘Electric Bloom’ show that the band are not merely there for you to dance to, as they create a moody and atmospheric tale with a suitably tense refrain of ‘It’s just another hospital’. Foals, it seems, are destined to be the band of the year; bearing this in mind, it’s just as well that they have made a rather fine album. However, their capturing of such a ‘now’ sound could well be their undoing. ‘Antidotes’ is a prime example of what 2008 sounds like, but such a distinct style may not bear well over the course of a second album, and certainly not a third. Hopefully though, Foals are no one trick pony, and their next release will be as exciting and crucial as this marvel of modern music.
By Blackeyed Theatre Rating:
Chris Burden
One of the oldest, most controversial stories ever told gets a fresh and exciting retelling in the Blackeyed Theatre’s production of Oedipus. Oedipus is the ancient Greek story of how King Oedipus accidentally kills his father and unknowingly falls in love and has sex with his own mother, bringing disaster to his kingdom, perhaps made most famous by Freud.
The Blackeyed Theatre Company absolutely understands the power of the theatre. Stripping away the ostentatious distractions that clutter so many productions, the small cast of only four used just raw emotion and imagination to create an entire new world that was both believable and enticing. Never faltering for even a second, an ominous atmosphere is created and maintained through the use of clever lighting, strings music (performed by the cast themselves) and the almost-bare stage. The only set is artistic structures, cast
Rating: Tallie Kane
Make Model: The LSB Rating: Tallie Kane
Elliot Minor: Singles Parallel Worlds Rating: Ed Butterfield
One Night Only: It’s About Time
Theatre Oedipus
The Thirst: Sail Away
ing eerie shadows across the stage and characters’ faces, adding to the menacing theme of the play. Although most of the play was set in its original time, it was also modernised in places to make it more accessible. Often the cast would directly address the audience, bringing them into a normally inaccessible world. Matthew Rowlands-Roberts performance as Oedipus was inspired, his powerful, regal character was terrifying and charming at the same time and he often combined this with a cockney accent when he addressed the audience. That’s right, King Oedipus was a chav! This delightful touch added great humour and allowed much needed emphasis to his character. My only criticism is that while his displays of arrogance and anger were fantastic, other emotions were less stirring. Luckily, the supporting cast were all incredible enough to pick up the slack. The actors showed great passion and commitment to this play, constantly onstage throughout the entire show. Many played more than one part and yet managed to create very different characters. The staging was both new and imaginative and worked very well, keeping the action fluid and alive. This is how all theatre should be –dramatic, passionate and life changing. I would happily recommend this to anyone.
Rating: Tallie Kane
Film 10,000 BC Rating: Laura Patricia
From the adverts floating about, you expect the first installment of a prehistoric epic; from the plot synopsis, you might envisage a loose networking of Jean M Auels’ ‘The Clan of the Cave Bear’ novel series. What this film actually delivers is enjoyable, but is neither of the above by a long shot. An oddly contrived plot - a strange love story set in the age when man’s biggest achievement was rubbing two sticks together - mixed with a fantastic soundtrack and solid acting by unknowns produce this near-
It’s disappointing, especially after the first fifteen seconds prove so promising, it would be great to welcome an Ska resurgence and revive a brilliantly crafted part of music history. Unfortunately this weird pop hybrid of a song ceases to be based in the raw feel that is caught within the essence of the genre that the bands themselves claim they
draw influences from; The Thirst completely miss the point by offering an overproduced shambles. It will probably get some sort of acclaim, but whether it’s deserved is another story, it just seems a bastardised version of what would happen when Preston acquires amnesia and forgets what Ska is. Oh Wait, he already has.
With sporadic, jumpy, cutting percussion beats and a range of voices that reminds you of a co-educated Hot Hot Heat, ‘Make Model’ are that little bit different, and it’s a fantastic effort from the Glasgow six-piece that is guaranteed to rid you of musical boredom for a while. Filled out with an odd, irregular jumble of instruments that works in an undeniably brilliant
way, ‘The LSB’, falls into the girlboy electro amalgamation that has become popular since the rise of CSS, but doesn’t fall on its arse like the Black Kids do so often. It’s jagged, but not broken, and I advise you to check out the Phones Latino remix which is on the extended single version for a disco-tastic reworking of this already danceable track.
Taking a not-so drastic departure from their last cranial lobotomy of a single, Elliot Minor return with another sickly-sweet pop-metal offering which fans across the land are bound to lap up. Whilst certainly not as embarrassing as their last release, this is a long, long way from even slightly commendable. Elliot Minor are like SARS; way better than something like AIDS or Nickelback, but this by no means
makes it an enjoyable thing to have in your life. ‘Parallel Worlds’ is say-nothing, run of the mill garbage from a band which, despite any good intentions, simply make terrible, horrible music. Lyrics are lazy, beats are unimaginative and chord progressions are predictable. When a band offers so little to the musical landscape, singles like this just raise the question of the point of their existence at all.
It’s nothing new, or spectacular or memorable, but it’s catchy and no doubt will prove to be mildly popular over summer to those that like safe and sure guitar-band music, with very little passion or mentionable skill. With its lightly driven guitar and piano interlude that is nothing less than ‘delightful’, ‘It’s about time’ is nothing to be scared of, and therefore nothing to be in
awe of either. At worst it’s cringeworthy, and you can see the band slipping into an Embrace-shapedhole when they tried so very hard to join the leagues of The Kooks and other successful indie-rock boy bands. As an aside: listen to the instrumental of the single and it sounds like it belongs to the soundtrack of Sonic the Hedgehog. I kid you not.
miss box-office flop. It has all the elements to become a classic favourite, and isn’t a waste of two hours of cinema, but somehow it falls short of the mark. Perhaps it’s the unbelievable and largely emotionless “love story” that is supposed to be the main story arc - it’s hard to want two people to get together when they don’t seem that bothered. Or maybe its the fact that geographers will surely question just where on Earth you can walk over Ice-age mountains, through rainforest and into an African desert and then onto the Nile. (Historians may also have issues with this film; as far as I was aware, the Pyramids were built about 9000 years after this film was set...). To my mind, the main way in which this film fails is in the way that it doesn’t live up to any expectations that it inspires.
Every week we’ll be showing a chart of the Top 5 artists that the members of our Last.fm group have been listening to, if you want your music scrobbled, log in and add the Pugwash chart.
Go to upsu.net/lastfm
1
Radiohead
2
Vampire Weekend
3
Foals
4
We Are Scientists
5
Muse
11
Pugwash News Wednesday 9th April 2008
Arts and Entertainments
Gigs The Futureheads 5/3/08 at The Wedgewood Rooms Rating: Ben Noot
Last time I saw the Futureheads was at the end of 2006 at the pyramids supported by the Maccabees. It was a pretty big show in a venue much bigger than the Wedgewood Rooms. A lot has changed since that show, the Maccabees have grown whereas the Futureheads have left their record label and seem to be out to prove a point. After finishing my beer in the Edge I walked next door where the single support band, Thomas Tantrum, were already playing. They already had people in the crowd nodding their heads and doing a bit of shuffle dancing and I soon joined in. However it was hard to actually understand what was being sung and the songs seemed to blend into each other having the effect of just one long if slightly pleasant song. In the time it took me to get to the bar after they had finished I couldn’t even attempt to hum anything of what had just been played, but they did warm up the crowd.
During the interview earlier in the evening with drummer Dave, he let slip that the band would be playing five new songs in the set. That could be pretty risky after being away for a year and when your last album didn’t do too well, but as the band walk on to the stage to a huge cheer and launch straight into first album favourite ‘Decent Days and Nights’ any doubts about how good they would be evaporate in a flash of four part harmonies. They play old favourites ‘A to B’, ‘Stupid and Shallow’ ‘Skip to the End’ and the chart storming ‘Hounds of Love’ all of which are sung back to the band by the bouncing crowd. The new songs, which experiment at different points with seagull style vocals and waltz time, proved that this band is still pushing against the norm. ‘The Beginning of the Twist’ ‘Sink’ ‘Hard to Bare’ ‘Area’, set closer and the title track of the new album ‘This is Not the World’ all sounded hungrier than their predecessors. They seem a lot more comfortable being The Futureheads on their own terms than they were before, roll on the new album and more tour dates.
Southsea Music Festival Preview
As a start to the Summer music festival season, what better way to break yourself in than to attend a local music festival in aid of char-
ity; dirt-cheap and close enough that you don’t have to slum it in a tent and eat cold beans. On the 19th April, the third Southsea Music festival (first of this year, there’s another one on the 13th of September) will be hitting the scene. With a cracking line-up of local musicians and DJ’s, you’d be a fool to miss it. The festivities start with an Acoustic afternoon on Albert Road from 1.30pm until 8pm, with acts Angela Morgan, Abi Lanigan, Kurt Cooder, Luise Hull, Will McNicol, The B of the Bang (previously featured in Pugwash Magazine) and others. At 8pm the event is switched to a venue that is literally a two minute walk up Albert road until the healthy time of 3am, where bands Six Nation State, Doll and the Kicks, Joey Nightmare and Eddie Berlitz will play on the Johnny Mac stage (dedicated to the legend that was the man who sadly passed away last year) until DJ Sets from Proud 2 B A Robot, Weston Doll and our very on Phillip Harvey corrupt you and your dancing feet. It’s all in aid of Charidee you know, proceeds from the event will go to the Ellen McArthur trust which I’m sure is bloody cheap when you’re only paying £3 for the entire day. If you fancy giving more, do, I’m sure us students can give a little bit extra seeing as we’re only paying 15p a band. myspace.com/southseafest.
Pure FM social: 09.04.2008
Pure FM Show of the Week What: The Crossover Who: DJ Phil Harvey and his trusty token female sidekick Kirsty Mitchell. When: Mondays 7 - 9pm Description: A two hour musical safari, with tasty indie electro treats, prime quality banter, live and recorded studio mixes, news and reviews on the latest local and national musical events, petty disputes, single of the week, all served up with a side order of unprofessional behaviour, inappropriate jokes, and the odd smoker’s cough from Miss Mitchell. For fans of: Anything on Ed Banger or Modular records, Cowbells, Foals and the like, the 80s.
Futureheads photos: Andy Donohoe
12
Purple Wednesday Wednesday 9th April 2008
Sports
Portsmouth rugby club on tour in Krakow Richard Hayward After a messy Friday night in the Union for election result night, UPRFC met at the airport and then onto the gate with one illegal person in tow. Pogo Steve realised at check in that his passport was a month out of date but risked it and beat our outstanding airport security and got through, only to be met at the Polish gate by their security realising it straight away. Needless to say the colour went from his face, but he was allowed in. The flight was amusing and I’m sure the air hostesses loved the cheering through their safety demonstration.
Having been met at the airport by our coach driver we were shuttled to the hotel, which to be fair was far too nice for the occasion but our behaviour was good and so the hotel fines were small. Court on the first night was amusing as ever with many members being pulled for heinous crimes. With some lads in dresses, some with “Das Boot”, and some with snorkels, off we went to Krakow and got swiftly met with many unkind “no”s concerning
Junior Dance Off 2008
entrance to bars. We eventually found some that would let us in, some that did and then made threats, and finally found a home for the next three days in the form of an Irish bar in the main square of Krakow. This would be the setting for a great deal of our tour, which was quite fitting as we were touring over St Patrick’s weekend.
As expected, the game on the second day was met with mixed feelings over actually having to play. The team we played appeared to be of a relatively high standard, with a lot of investment in their club with stands and banners present. However, for the part of the game we played seriously and in our actual positions, we were the winning team. Later in the game, with streakers present and the newly appointed president Jaffa in the fly half position, we were not so successful. The tour itself was incredible
as I’m sure many would agree, and of course the age-old “what goes on tour, stays on tour” applies and thus no more can be said except WEREWOLF! And, was barker really on tour?
Diane White
On Tuesday 11th March, the UP For Dance Junior Dance Off 2008 came to Lux Night Club in the Union and was once again a huge success! Over 100 children from various schools within the local community took part, and an enjoyable day was had by all. The event was organised and put together by Community Dance Coach Carly-Ann Purcell and the volunteers committee, which consisted of members of the University Dance Squad and others. This event was all part of a volunteering scheme, teaching children aged five to ten years old to dance. Several weeks were spent coaching the school children in preparation for the Junior Dance Off 2008, and from this the coaches gained a nationally recognized dance qualification. The day commenced with many excitable children and coaches taking part in a group warm-up, before everyone learnt a routine to High School Musical.
The routing was taught to the children by the coaches themselves, so that all the children involved could open and close the competition with a group dance. The competition then began and each school performed a dance taught by their assigned coaches. Not only were there performances from all the schools involved, but also the University Dance Squad and “J Squad”, plus the Angels cheerleading team, and Allsorts dance group. An awards ceremony took place at the end of the event, with awards for not only the school children but also some of the dance coaches; several of the coaches received awards for their Outstanding Service, including Kelly-Marie Baker who won the Coach of the Year award. Every school put on a brilliant performance and it was a hard decision for the judges to choose the top three dances. In third place was Northern Parade Junior School coached by Charli Evans, Laura Brownlie and Steph O’Brian and
second place was Solent Junior School, coached by Amy Perkins and Claire Rutterford. The school that was awarded first place was Highbury Primary School, who were coached by myself and Claire Tindell. I was extremely happy when I found out that we had won - the team’s hard work was reflected in their outstanding performance, which deservedly received first place. At the end of the competition was the after-party, and a disco where some of the children who stayed behind danced the afternoon away! The University of Portsmouth’s Dance Club volunteering scheme is fantastic, because it brings dance to the lives of children around Portsmouth whose parents may not be able to afford to pay for dancing lessons normally. This event is a celebration of all the time spent by coaches volunteering and the children’s hard work, and it has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.
She got through her three rounds qualifying for the quarter finals on Sunday, very impressive for her first competition. Jamie Gatley surfed well but the competition was steep and he got knocked out after the second round. Spirits were high and every one was looking forward to another night out. Starting off at the Fistral backpackers hostel, games were played to get everyone loosened up. Next we moved to on the rocks but not until a game of I have never to embarrass a few people! We ended up at the beach with a manic night of old school classic tunes and
crazy dancing. Of course the night wouldn’t have been complete without some 3am beach antics with a few people being brave enough to go in the sea. Everybody was cheering for Ella on the Sunday, she’d done so well to make it so far. She surfed four rounds, securing her a position in the top 12 in the UK! No one was looking forward to the 4hour drive home but it was made easier by reminiscing about the amazing weekend. Everybody who competed did extremely well especially in the bad conditions.
Surfing club
Having a ‘swell’ time: the Surf Nationals Jamie Gatley
The Surf Nationals in Newquay have a tradition of being a messy weekend, and this time it was no exception. The trip started off on the Thursday with a couple of minibuses heading to Cornwall. Drives down are notorious for their messiness and on one mini-bus the girls were to the point of wetting themselves because Jamie Gatley (President) wouldn’t stop, and the CD player was broken so people had to make do with singing (not very well), so when everyone got to Newquay they went to bed
early ready for the days competing ahead… NOT!!! It was anything but a quiet night in! Surfing on the Friday took place at the famous Fistral beach. The surfing conditions were rubbish, ranging from 1-4 foot choppy waves. Each round is 20 minutes long and the top two wave scores are counted. It was the men’s competition with Jamie Gatley qualifying to surf in the rounds on the Saturday. Jim Legge surfed extremely well but unfortunately got knocked out in the first round against very tough competition. Simon English was supposed to be competing but
he’d qualified for the skim board nationals in Mother Iveys. The rest of the people arrived in the afternoon to support the surfers on the Saturday. There was a social that night and the lime green tshirts were worn; no one was going to miss us - Portsmouth was going to make sure they were noticed. In the hostel there was friendly banter with Bristol university and of course Portsmouth came on top singing ‘Pompey till I die’! The wave conditions on Saturday still hadn’t improved but the weather was surprisingly mild. Ella Duran competed for the first time.
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Purple Wednesday Wednesday 9th April 2008
Sports
Go Ape!
Basketball on tour
Have you ever wanted to spend the day as a superhero? Well that’s exactly what a group from the university of Portsmouth Sub-Aqua club (UPSAC) did. Well, give anyone in UPSAC the opportunity to wear their underwear on top of their clothes and they jump at the chance! On 23rd February the University of Portsmouth Sub-Aqua club ventured to Dorset to spend the day swinging through the trees at the Go Ape highwire forest adventure in Moors Valley Country Park. The day started well with Becca getting lost and the two cars behind her deciding to follow her rather than their sat nav or common sense. Eventually the site was located, only half an hour late. Luckily we’d factored in for the usual UPSAC faff time so we were still able to play. We discovered our group of twenty divers was being joined by one little boy, Harry, and his dad - poor them! We let them go in front and little Harry proceeded to show us all up by steaming ahead leaving us to get tangled and flail about. Dom managed to impress the safety guys immediately by having to be reminded 12 times in a minute to REMAIN ATTACHED TO THE TREES, rather than plummeting to a grisly death. Much hilarity ensued as we navigated the course, consistently managing to forget the ‘three people to a platform’ rule, resulting in divers hanging in mid air between trees! We also discovered it’s harder than it seems to land gracefully off of the zip wires… Muddy arses all round! Surprisingly the whole group completed the course without any injuries or broken bones; we got back to Portsmouth with half an hour freshening-up time before the rest of the club joined us for a Heroes and Villains pub crawl. Special thanks goes to The Fat Fox, The Deco, Owens, Owtback and Chicago Rock for putting up with the likes of The Hulk, Xena, Traffic Wardens and especially Karim in a seven-year-old’s Power Ranger outfit, stumbling through!
Anthony Jill Mullins SALOU!!!!!! Not the French greeting, but the place to be over the Easter break. With no basketball in Rimini this year, the men’s and women’s teams headed to the south east coast of Spain. With only 5 players, the men’s team along with Gloucester were the only two teams not playing seriously out of nine.
Playing in fancy dress and often drunk, they somehow finished seventh, managing just one victory which happened to be against undefeated St. Mary’s, to deafening chants of “giant killers la la la”. The girls faired better, winning three games including a one point victory over Scumhampton, but only finished fourth out of five! With our care free attitude, constant chanting and loveable characters, everyone soon loved us and were chanting “We love you POMPEY, We do, OH POMPEY we love you!!” and also led to us being awarded the coveted “SUPER TEAM OF TOUR” trophy! The coach journey there was shared with Solent netball - Scummers, maybe; Hotties, definitely!!! Rob
Bassham and Yiannis made it their goal to seduce as many of them as possible! The first night was a sailors fancy dress theme and by the end of it they had already gone through a third of them! Rob Pollard was also getting in on the action, holding hands in bed all night, with a MAN! The 2nd night was an animal fancy dress theme with costumes such as a lady bird (Becky Lush), shark (Anthony “Jill” Mullins), frog (Julie Cheek) and turtle (Tash “The Cavern” Taylor). A Leeds Met lacrosse player had an early night when being asked to be shark attacked by Jill, which ended in 3 stitches and blood everywhere. The third night was tour t-shirts night, and was where we received our trophy, and the fourth night was a “Where’s Wally?” theme which seemed to go to people’s heads making them think they were actually hard to see: in the club, Rodders and Franzi could both be seen doing things they shouldn’t! All in all a great, unforgettable tour and bring on Tour ‘09!
What could be more enticing than slipping into an invitingly warm azure blue sea and sinking below the waves to frolic with some of nature’s most fascinating creations? I can’t think of many, but sadly it being February and we being in Portsmouth that simply isn’t on offer. Consequently those of us from the University of Portsmouth Sub-aqua Club decided to polish off our torches and have a night dive in the inky cold blackness of Horsea lake. Arriving at Horsea lake around 6 pm, just as the sun had cast its last shadow and the dark of night was settling over Portsmouth, it was obvious that everyone was eager to get in the water. After a quick site brief there was a veritable scramble of fins, masks and glow sticks as everyone rushed to get ready in the dark. Some may think us mad for actually paying only to willingly jump into what many may consider to be a cold and barren environment. But don’t write it off too soon. My buddy for the dive, Rory, and myself were lucky enough to be the first in the water and after a brief surface swim we were ready to descend. The atmosphere underwater was eerily calm and with only our torches to illuminate the way we were engulfed by the darkness.
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Swimming past such a large object ... left the distinct impression that we were indeed the aliens in this particular corner of our own world
Moving onward at a depth of six metres we focused our torches on the wreck of a boat and continued
More online: www.upsac.com
Seperated at Birth
Night Dive at Horsea
the dive. The night brings with it a change in the behaviour of underwater beings that inhabit there. Creatures that sleep during the day become more active during the night, seeking food under the cover of dark. This became abundantly clear to us as we navigated through the dark water: crabs roamed freely along the silt bottom, their intricate carapaces highlighted under the intensity of our strong torches. Shrimps numbering in their hundreds skittered along any algae bearing surface they could find, and shining a torch in their direction uncovered what seemed like a thousand pairs of silver eyes staring back at you. The most notable difference was the abundance of eels slithering along the lake bed. Rarely seen during the day, Rory and I encountered several of these snake-like fish apparently seeking food among the aggregations of algae. Further into the lake we encountered the remains of an old Wessex helicopter. Swimming past such a large object, now clearly assimilated by nature, left the distinct impression that we were indeed the aliens in this particular corner of our own world. Returning back to base we were reminded how troublesome night diving can be. The pitch black of the surrounding water becomes disorientating when trying to navigate and after twenty two minutes since descending we floated gently to the surface only to find we had indeed gotten slightly lost. After a hasty exit to warm up and admitting to our error, it became apparent that we weren’t the only ones to become disorientated. Casting an eye over the black water showed some divers SMB’s (surface marker buoys) to be scattered in a very odd pattern around the lake. Soon enough though, every scattered soul returned to the shore safely, openly grinning from ear to ear and competing over who spotted the biggest eel! If you are interested in learning to dive or are wanting to join our next night dive next month or any other diving trips that we run most weekends please contact Emma Cole at star_banana@hotmail.com
Noticeboard
From Pompey to Eastenders
Left: Max from Eastenders
ON Dodgeball y 13th unda S E AT TH l i pr E A ENTR C D L E I NUFF TED!! I V N I ALL
Right: Tom Lloyd Football Coach
Thursda y, April 24th, 20 08 Trampol ine compET ITION AT ST LUKE ’S
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Purple Wednesday Wednesday 9th April 2008
Sports
Sporto Challenge Every fortnight we pit two of our sportos against each of the in a fast paced Q&A session to see who’s cooler. Oh, and they have to draw a donkey too... Decide for yourself.
The trampolining club took 4 people to the BUSA finals on Sunday 9th march and achieved very impressive results with a second place finish over all for the team and three top 4 finishes, with two of these being in the highest category of competition, the elite section . Hiroi Tokuma won the ladies elite competition, Stephen Sampson came 4th in the men’s elite competition, and Alison payne came 2nd in the intermediate ladies competition. Josh Naden also did extremely well in the novice mens section with very tight competition.
Coming into his first two games of the season, Sven Spanrad impressed and gelled with his teammates immediately, becoming a leader that can inspire everyone else on the team. The hard work and team chemistry Sven encouraged us to develop in his first game helped him score a hat trick, followed by another in his second game. Sven coached the club’s goal tenders, scores in abundance, and leads by example as a result of his experiences in professional ice hockey, making him an important cog in the UoP Roller Hockey Machine.
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Peppa Barnett
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Andrew Machin
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Andy Watson
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James Pepper
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What level do you play at? Novice Flyer
Have you ever… Been on tour? Yep, messy times!
Have you ever… Been on tour? Wish I could remember it... of course... tour tour tour how do you like it! Kissed a person of the same sex? I am a master in the art of face raping Won any silverware for the University? Nope
Missed a lecture to play sports / to do soco stuff? Yep Do you have a MIDAS (mini bus) license? Haha... No I can’t even drive a car!
Sven Spanrad
Marisa May
What level do you play at? At the moment not very high, have not trained in a while!
Played Touch Cup? Almost everyday! Been naked in public? Yep skinny dipping after Time and Envy in my first year Been asked to leave the Union? Yea, on more than 1 occasion
Trampolining
Score
Lizzie Marsh Cheerleading
Won any silverware for the University? Yea as a team at a competition in Loughborough and Bath Slept outside? Yea
Player of the Fortnight
Top 5 Sportos
Kerry Murray Gymnastics and Trampolining
Kissed a person of the same sex? Yep
Team of the Fortnight
League Table
How many times have you been “gotcha’d”? Don’t know have not counted them! Is Snakebite your choice of beverage at the union? Yep How many societies / clubs have you represented at uni? (1 point for each club) Gymnastics and Trampolining and Rounders Now draw us a donkey...
Score: 12
Slept outside? Summerbreak ‘07.. good time good time Played Touch Cup? I am a top athlete at the sport! Been naked in public? I hate wearig clothes!
Been asked to leave the Union? The IT Box was a rather comfortable bed! Missed a lecture to play sports / to do soco stuff? Standard Do you have a midas (mini bus) license? Don’t think I would be able to reach the peddles :( How many times have you been “gotcha’d”? This one time when I woke up next to a local! Is Snakebite your choice of beverage at the Union? No longer as I think I’m turning purple! How many societies / clubs have you represented at uni? (1 point for each club) Cheerleading, Gymnastics and Trampolining, Fencing, Surf, mixed Rounders and Cricket Now draw us a donkey...
Score: 15
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Purple Wednesday Wednesday 9th April 2008
Sports
Like Britney Spears we wear no draws!
Mixed Hockey Team v Uni. East London
Tour, Tour, Tour...
Sally Jones
Andy Needham
Dance club had a busy week last week with a sweat-load of training for our explosive 7 minute performance from the squads at the Union. The performance was filmed, so check it out on the net if you missed it or were temporarily blinded by snakey-B, at upsu.net/video Then on the Saturday we had the long awaited masterclass! Back in the prehistoric time of Sunday December 2nd, the dance club got up at the crack of dawn to bus it up to Essex on a dance adventure! There were eight presenters on the day and UPDC fell in love with Nikkie Riozzi, so we begged her to come and teach us and, after slipping her a cheeky fiver, she agreed! So, on Saturday the March 1st, we took over Lux and threw some funky shapes. We split into two groups and had a battle of who could shake their party goods, finishing by showing her our performance from Purple Wednesdays for feedback, and we even got offered a fantastic opportunity to perform at urban funk events! Later that day we performed at the One World Fashion Show and proudly displayed our Pants To Poverty pants on our heads! UPDC wooo! Thanks to Tom Worman who filmed our performance and the masterclass.
‘Im not gonna lie but our team for today is a little diverse’... being the team slogan every mixed game, and was true to nature for the League final against UEL. The mixed team has had an absolutely stunning season, with only one loss out of nine games, and even winning one game 22-0 against Thames Valley Uni, to get to the league final was a huge achievement. It was a thrilling game but, to keep it short, Goose scored for us and after the full length of the game it was
... to bananas in pjs, to painters, and for the all male clubs the standard woman dress up!! The second night club was slightly better than the first, but Rimini hasn’t yet heard of toilets in their nightclubs! Pompey Uni was sure to be seen at the Irish ‘Stills’ bar, or the pizzas take out until the early hours of the morning. On the third day, we were once again woken by netball, and the sport competitions were in their final day. Women’s football came first and runners-up, men’s hockey firsts won, and women’s hockey came runners-up. Rumour has it netball and football want a refund? Competitions were over which meant a night of tour tops. This time we had to get buses to the nightclub for a laser show, with lots of mayhem because English people can’t queue - FACT! Drunken antics were quickly regretted in the morning as a ‘confession camera’ had been set up in the hotel lobby... Tom Worman is going to have a busy time editing it! The final day brought us some sunshine and, like true British tourists, we all hit the beach! Cheerleading were seen performing stunts, netball were playing round-
1-1. Extra time was at golden goal rules and it was a nail biter to say the least, with a few close calls but still no goal, so the game had to go to penalty flicks (this is about as exciting as hockey gets!). With a rule that only girls could take the flicks, the result worked out very much in Pompey’s favour as our girls were awesome, winning us the game 3-0 on flicks, so thank you Aly, Bambi and Sam Stares. Great performance by all the team - look forward to the medals at the end of season bash!
Football 3rds: the semi-final After the football team cruised all the way to the semi finals, Kingston provided much stronger opposition: a bullet of a header from James “Wifey” Farrar opened the scoring early-doors for us, but the tables quickly turned as we found ourselves 2-1 down and a man down as Richard “Skinless Cat” Berry was dismissed from the field of play for atrocious language in front of Lovesey’s parents and the ten-plus crowd. Ten minutes later, Kingston’s Norwegian beast of a striker struck his second goal of the game to make it 3-1. After a poor first half, we dominated the second despite having only ten men. The constant pressure got us a goal back as Crouchie hit home a penalty, but that bloody Norwegian extended Kingston’s lead again to 4-2 with 20 minutes to go. Then the game’s big moment: a Kingston pen-
Continued from page 16
ers, and hockey made themselves feel at home by digging a bar out of the sand. We hear a member of staff and an unsuspecting hockey boy got a bit too close for everyone’s comfort!!! Very tired and very hung-over, everyone made an effort for the last night. Fairies, tourists, cave girls, dance club dressed in bin liners, football in their fake football tops, and many more were ready for the night’s antics. It all began at the Stills bar with singing, dancing, drinking and for some stripping off, and Wayne the boxing coach was even seen trying to make a home video of the locals! The clocks went forward, the nightclub was packed for the foam party, and the ice cube game improved club relations. Too much pizza and cheesy puffs were eaten all week - boxing are turning to the Atkins diet. A fantastic week was had by all; the staff didn’t get to bed some nights ‘till 7am, Luke Thomas Betts couldn’t get any action and had his suitcase confiscated by customs so he was wearing the same clothes all week, and way too many compromising pictures have gone up on facebook! A final thought ... why did Brendan eat a raw shrimp? Did anyone know what time the breakfast was?
alty was harshly awarded, but was somehow saved by Mr Lafy-Taffy Rob Prestige himself as he dived sharply down to his right and palmed away. Almost immedietly after, Kingston’s keeper managed to forget which team he was playing for and passed the ball straight to Crouchie on the edge of the box allowing him to beautifully dink it back over him. After a bit of rough and tumble involving Farrar, Greg “kuala bear” Brabon burst into the box and rifled the ball home, drawing the game level at 4-4. Then with only five minutes to go, goal scorer extra-ordinaire Chris “Silverback” Tyas fired home from two yards after a long throw and, after withstanding a late Kingston surge, a place in the prestigious SESSA Intermediate Cup final was secured. Final score: 5 - 4 to Portsmouth
Gotchas
Roller Hockey
It’s just for fun...
Pucking Around: Countdown to the Nationals
Tour Quote - Person 1: “Why have you got Camel Toe as your tour name?” Person 2: “Cos I have a saggy ****!” Womens cricket - watch out, netball’s about! Kosta is in a relationship! Which Netball fresher allegedly likes the beige bang? Gym president was caught performing a strip tease in the Union Rumours that Cheer social sec got thrown out of the Union for performing acts of a sexual nature Which Pure FM presenter has been learning Spanish? We hear the AU Chair got arrested for being drunk and disorderly during a flight Football Farrah can’t control himself and has been leaving unpleasant deposits in his kitchen Which badminton player is walking everywhere now? Which rounders player has met Tom Cruise? A group of random girls tried to tie Alex Pickering up in CO2 Which Greek footballer has taken to proposing in Deli Too? Jamie Gatley shouldn’t have gone to Peppa’s hair dressers
So the countdown begins. The University of Portsmouth Roller Hockey are rolling and ready to go to the 2008 National Championships in Deeside to take on reigning champions Southampton and the rest of the UK’s Universities. Our chances could not be better with our full roster healthy and eager to get on the rink to get pucked up! The depth UoP Roller Hockey boasts on the rink rivals any team that will be in Deeside, with us sitting above all other University teams in our league right now. After beating Southampton, winners of the Championship each of the
last 2 years, by a score of 11-7, our confidence on the rink and faith in our teammates has grown and grown, with terrific team performances becoming the club’s claim to fame. Youngster Elliot Staker comes in to his first season on the team, and has become the number 1 goaltender, finding it easy to stop the puck and frustrate opposing teams. Former professional goaltender Sven Spanrad comes in as a goaltending coach as well as scoring machine in matches, tallying a hat trick in each of his first 2 games of the season. Vice President Laurie Hodge comes in as the spark the team needs, out-
working the opposition for every loose puck and then making them look stupid with fancy between the legs moves before feeding the puck to GB Ice Hockey representative Joe Boot, who regularly makes goalies hate their job. With selflessness, hard work, a passion for the club and winning, and a great sense of camaraderie being UoP Roller Hockey’s most distinct qualities, besides some slick hands and rocketing slap shots, our boys look to return to the form that brought the University of Portsmouth Team 4 consecutive National Championships in the past.
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Tour, Tour, Tour...
FR
PURPLE WEDNESDAYS
Issue 12 Wednesday 09.04.08 upsu.net/news
Banter Inside... The Tour Issue The full reports on 3 sports tours from our UPSU sports teams
Gotchas! Bringing back the banter. Purple Wednesdays’ usual stitch-ups
Dance Squad Watch out, Pompey’s about: Rimini was the venue for this year’s sporto antics. Remember: what goes on tour, goes on Facebook... (photos: Tom Worman)
There was an electric atmosphere at the union on the Tuesday morning as 300+ people, and an inflatable man queued up for their bright pink tour tops and a bacon sandwich. As the coaches left for Dover everyone was looking forward to the week that lay ahead! A 24 hour coach journey is no-one’s
idea of heaven, but everyone made the best out of the situation and started the fresher abuse and tour challenges that would carry on for the rest of the holiday. Football and boxing drank too much on the coach and lost a fight to a group of small children! Everyone arrived in Rimini on the Wednesday afternoon, looking
less perky than when we’d left (except the netballers who’d bought their portable hair straighteners and a suitcase full of make-up). Hotel Jumbo would be our residence for the few days. A quick wash, a nap, and with painted faces we were ready for the first social - mimes. Once again Portsmouth Uni took over tour, with many shout outs
about our presence! The second day meant the first day of ‘sport’. For those who were trying to nurse their hangovers they tried to stay in bed all day; for others, netball’s Fitter made sure everyone was up on time, even those that didn’t want to be!! The second night was clubs’ own socials, ranging from sailors,
They’ve been busy people: read all about it inside
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Pompoms
Women’s Football
Write for PWs
Cheerleading go to the nationals
Anyone for Football?
PWs needs your club news!
Gemma Foy
Have you always fancied being more involved in football than sitting in front of the telly watching Pompey’s latest game? Then here is your chance. The University of Portsmouth Ladies FC welcomes any female players, between the age of 12 and 65, to its training sessions on Tuesday Nights, 7.00pm – 8.30pm at Langstone Campus, Furze Lane. No matter whether you’re a beginner or seasoned player we would love to see you. There is no pressure to play competitively, it’s all about having fun, meeting new people and learning
... and features, and photos, and socials, and anything else you want to tell us about your club! It’s easy to get a mention in PWs - just e-mail everything to sportnews@ upsu.net, visit www.upsu.net/newsdesk, or come in to the Sabb Office at the Union and have a chat with us any time!
The Cheerleaders attended the national British Cheerleading Association competitions on April 22nd and 23rd. This is the first year the squad has entered a two day event, and all squad members found it a very tiring but exciting weekend, and managed to come back with a trophy - a first for the squad!! The girls managed to be awarded 6th place on both days and were extremely pleased with themselves as the competition was amazing. The squad entered the novice cate-
gory but took many cheer girls that had never cheered before, and all the girls pulled off the excellently choreographed routine perfectly and received praises from all the judges.
some new skills! If you would like to play please feel free to come down on any Tuesday during term-time. If you would like any further information please contact Justine McNally on 07986 593916