Pugwash News - Issue 25

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Issue 25 Wednesday 25.02.09

L&S Guide to... House hunting

Dylan Moran review

Dangerous Dogs

Life & Style » p7

Arts & Ents » p17

Comment & Opinion » p5

Uni website causes chaos Matt Calmus

Portsmouth University’s Student Portal interface, which is often unreliable, is being upgraded in March Student Portal interface is being upgraded in March by Information Services (IS), to avoid a repeat of this semester’s timetable-access chaos. Despite hard and e-mail copies being available thousands of students were left struggling for access during the weekend prior to the start of semester two, following an information overload of the critical service. Many were unable to attend first-day lectures as a result, which caused big delays across many school faculty offices as students urgently tried to find out their schedules. The new Dennis Sciama building also opened to students for the first time, exacerbating those problems. “The Portal was simply overloaded with user traffic,” Head of IS, Andrew Minter, told Pugwash. “At peak time, we had well over two thousand students going in. We do expect students to be looking for their timetable, but we haven’t seen such large numbers in that short period before.” “The system didn’t cope with it.” In response, IS has invested in some replacement software which should, Minter says, be “faster, slicker and more reliable.” It will allow the Portal to run at full strength continuously, unlike at present. This will be funded as part of the University’s £10 million annual investment in new computing technology. “Our timetable system, along with all others, is backed-up overnight. There is a shadow version of the

system to run while the main system is being copied,” he said. “While the main system has loads of capacity, unfortunately, the shadow system doesn’t. I confess, we didn’t estimate the load properly in time for Semester Two – we could have made some more investment in the shadow system, but it would have needed to be a significant investment.” Pugwash understands that firstday attendances, particularly Monday morning, fell significantly due to the crash, and Minter apologised on behalf of IS. He points out however that portal services were back up and running by mid-morning on that day. His team is now working hard to install the upgraded system for next month, in anticipation of more heavy traffic as students await semester one’s exam results. Minter added: “The new software will be working 24/7. It means that there is no possibility of information even being a day old.”

I confess, we didn’t estimate the load properly in time for Semester Two – we could have made some more investment in the shadow system

Though he admits that IS had possibly under-invested in the portal, he defended the quality of the University’s IT service as a whole: “We’ve put a lot of effort into specific areas; our Open Access spaces are pretty good quality, and we’ve had students calling the Student Support Desk at 3am on Christmas morning - they were helped.” In other IS developments, new electronic boards are to be placed outside all Open Access computer suites, telling students how many machines are free. The University has already installed plasma screens in bigger areas, like at library’s central suite, on a pilot basis. This lets students know at a glance how busy an area is. It is intended to become campus-wide before the end of the academic year. These smaller screens will additionally provide an alert which indicates whether computer rooms are free or in teaching use. There are also plans to replace student e-mail service Netmail with Google’s increasingly popular G-Mail. From September 2010 it is planned that all University e-mails will all end in ‘@myport.ac.uk.’ This change will allow full use of several applications through Google, including a possible electronic-timetable download for mobile phones or PDAs. Google mail is already actively used by people who communicate and work within the Students’ Union - they are helping advise the University on how to implement the new mail system. The overhaul should let students both choose their new address and keep it indefinitely after graduation.

Inside: A four page Varsity pull-out

News » University

News » Crime

News » Technology

Residents demand refund

Break-in at King Henry

University faces the Want to write for music over piracy Pugwash News?

William Hobson

William Hobson

Residents of James Watson halls have started an online petition demanding repayment of rent over ongoing problems within the University accommodation. Hosted at petitiononline.com and addressed to The University of Portsmouth Housing Department, it currently boasts approximate 270 signatures at the time of going to print. It was launched by Ashkan Grant, and calls for a partial refund of the £3500 yearly accommodation fee paid by James Watson residents for those who

Staff and students are being advised to avoid leaving their personal possessions unattended in University buildings, following a break-in and theft at the King Henry Building. A thief broke into psychology Professor Anne Hillstrom's office on the 6th February and stole a wallet and handbag whilst she was in a meeting. The thief is thought to have struck at around midday. They broke down the door to the first floor office to reach the Professor's belongings, which had an estimated worth of several hundred pounds. Signs of forced entry can still be seen on the frame,

continued - p3

though the office was quickly secured following the incident. "This was right in the middle of the day," Proffessor Hillstrom said. "There were people all around the offices but no one noticed or heard anything unfortunately." Campus Security has reported the incident to the police and is currently reviewing CCTV footage in hopes it will help apprehend and identify the thief. Though thefts are rare in campus buildings, they do occur each year and students are warned to be vigilent. Professor Hillstrom said that though this is the first time she's been aware of an actual break-in, there has been at least one theft for each of her three years at the University.

Efe Cakar & Matt Calmus

Students are being urged to stop using illegal download systems for copyrighted material through University internet services. The University currently receives around 200 letters a month from media companies, threatening individual students with legal action. Andrew Minter, Director of Information Services at the University, told Pugwash that many students face piracy charges, relating to downloaded media content made on University-based Internet connections. This includes continued - p3

UPSU Media

Pugwash News / Purple Wednesdays is the Union’s student newspaper. If you have something to shout about, from burning issues to match reports, comment to features, or you want to photograph, design or help lay it out, get in touch! For more information, see: upsu.net/p/2166


2

Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

News

Editors

Snakes-on-a-plane? No Snakes in the Union as part of new club night Uni-sex on Saturday Nights.

Photo of the Fortnight

Jacob Leverett Editor pugwashnews@upsu.net

Tom West Comment & Opinion Editor comment@upsu.net

Peter Allsop Design Editor paperdesign@upsu.net

Elke Morice-Atkinson Life & Style Editor lifestyle@upsu.net

William Hobson Head of News news@upsu.net

Tallie Kane Arts & Entertainment Editor artsents@upsu.net

Laura Patricia Copy Editor copyeditor@upsu.net

Ben Endley Sports Editor sportnews@upsu.net

Sub Editors News Amiar Kamal & Henry Tipping

Sports Chris Hewett & Carl Jackson

Life & Style Sarah Beer & Nina Tennant

Design Sophie Abbott

Arts & Entertainment Dominique O’Mahoney & Jack Kane

photo: Alex McGillivray

Contributors Liam Angell, Alyson Bain, Duane Bryars, Efe Caker, Sophie Castle, Emma Dines, Abbey Dixon, Alex Harries, Ross Keating, Mark Lazenby, Mary Lin, Chris Mineham, Katie Packham, Rachael Penycate, Emma Quigley, Russell Thomas, Stuart Wilson, Tom Worman & Alice Zhang

Universities Round Up With thanks to: Anne Hillstrom, Annie Laurie, Gaby Johnson, Simon “Darby” Leach, Samantha Marbey, Pawel Majcher, Andrew Minter, Liam O’Mahoney & James Pepper

Dates for the Diary Bored? Find out what’s on this fortnight at: tinyurl.com/dnddge

Roots: Classical and folk music Friday 27th February 7:30 pm, Portsmouth Cathedral

World Record Attempt! Friday 6th March Noon - 3pm, Guildhall Square

Colin Fry Wednesday 4th March Guildhall

Complete Works of God (RSC) Wednesday 25th February Kings Theater

National Science Week 6th - 15th March Various events, Blue Reef Aquarium

London Student Universities of London Allegations of anti-Semitism have been made at the London School of Economics campus. Incidents such as verbal and physical abuse have been reported, with one student reportedly being spat at and another assaulted. Students claim that protests over the Gaza conflict have raised tensions and encouraged anti-Semites. Fresh protests took place among London students when an Israeli military official was set to talk at the Union of Jewish Student’s London Student Centre. Though organisers made an attempt to keep the visit by Colonel Geva Rapp, head of ground operations for the Israeli defence force in Gaza, out of the public eye, details appear to have been leaked. A large contingent of protesters gathered outside, leading to the closing of Euston Road by police. Three people were arrested and there was a violent incident where several rogue protestors attempted to force entry to the building. London Student Universities of London UCL’s city academy project has also been the source of controversy, and last month a case which threatened to halt it has been dismissed by the high court. Camden residents, local groups and representatives from the NUT have all raised concerns over the proposed academy, sponsored by UCL. The case was made by two parents against Camden Council that the process had been flawed, and complained about the lack of a public bid. However, the High Court ruled that the Council’s approach was legal, and they had broken no laws by using what the NUT refer to as the “preferred bidder route”.

Student Direct Universities of Manchester The Royal Bank of Scotland’s (RBS) holdings in Manchester Students’ Union property are under threat of student action. Earlier this month ten protestors from environmental action group People & Planet climbed the roof of the bank’s campus outlet to demand their eviction from the university buildings. The protest lasted for half an hour and was overseen by Police; no action was taken against the students, though requests were made for them to climb down. The motion “The Royal Bank of Scotland – funding climate chaos” will be on the Union general meeting agenda this month, and will decide the future of RBS in the Manchester campus.

Exepose University of Exeter Accommodation charges at the University of Exeter (UoE) will reportedly hit record highs next year. Hospitality Services at UoE has announced significant increases to its current charges, with a 9.9% increase in catered halls charges and an 8.5% rise for self-catered. The price of an en-suite room in a catered hall has risen by £56.21 since 2004, and now stands at £171.50 a week on average. £15,000 worth of damage has been caused by a fire in student accommodation. A first-floor flat was the scene of the blaze, which was caused when a student accidentally ignited a hob which had a pan of left-over cooking oil on it. Though two fire units were needed, damage was mostly restricted to the kitchen, thanks to the building’s fire doors.

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To get in touch with the Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays team, please visit upsu.net/newsdesk, e-mail us at newsdesk@upsu.net, call us via Tom Worman, the Union’s Media & Publications Officer, at: 023 9284 3657, or visit us at The Student Centre, Portsmouth Students’ Union, Cambridge Road, Portsmouth, Hampshire, PO1 2EF.

Printed by Quotemeprint - www. quotemeprint.com, 0845 130 0667, and printed on 100% recycled paper. Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays bears no allegiance to any political party and discriminates against no-one. You can download back issues of Pugwash magazine and Pugwash News online at: pugwashnews.com

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upsu.net/elections

garfieldminusgarfield.net

crufts.org.uk

twitter.com

sudoku.org.uk

virtual-bubblewrap.com/popnow

fictionpress.com

studentfreestuff.com

Everything you ever need or want to know about the upcoming Sabbatical Elections. The world’s biggest and best dog show is less than a fortnight away! Because we listen - a daily game for those who enjoy this challenging number puzzle A website hosting work by budding writers; post your own work here or just enjoy an almost endless stream of new things to read for free

Jon spends some time talking to himself, and answers the age old question: who’s funnier, him or the cat? Our Media Officer recently got hooked - check out what all the fuss is about! For those of us who aren’t rich enough to have the application on our iPhones

Should be taken with a pinch of salt, but careful surfing can help you save money through this site


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Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

News

24 hours of PureFM radio Abbey Dixon

The MOD has confirmed that two nuclear submarines collided in the Atlantic Ocean earlier this month. The HMS Vanguard and the French sub Le Triomphant collided in an embarrassing and dangerous mix up at sea. Whilst both subs were equipped with sonar technologies to prevent such occurrences, they seemed to have been disabled by their corresponding ‘anti-sonar devices’, meant to conceal the ship from enemy radars. Both the UK and France stressed that nuclear security was not compromised, even though both vessels were carrying missiles, and around 240 crew members between them.

Pure FM raised over £1000 for RAG with their annual 24-hour broadcast. Starting at 12pm on the 11th February 2009, the Pure FM team broadcast music and talk shows for a full 24 hours, whilst undertaking tasks and challenges to raise money for the unions versity's selected charities. The male members of the committee had their legs waxed and other members had their heads shaved. Other tasks completed by presenters included drinking 24 litres of Coke

in 24 hours, and sitting in a paddling pool filled with korma curry sauce, pickled eggs, and mayonnaise. Having exceeded their individual target of £50, "Tom and Dom's Uber Uhr" ventured to Smiffy's, the official Portsmouth FC supporters bar, wearing Southampton FC shirts. Pure FM was mentioned by Greg James on his breakfast BBC Radio 1 show for their achievements in the broadcast. Station Manager Caroline Arthur said: "We tried to set a target of £1000, and in the end everyone really went for it, going for quick dashes around

the university campus in the morning to get the last few pounds in." "All the committee and members were so supportive doing anything they could to raise a couple of pounds." She added: "It was an amazing achievement and it went really well." The money raised by RAG will this year be donated to Hampshire and Isle of Wight Air Ambulance, Women's Aid and Diabetes.

A Vatican report on ‘Sin’ claims that men and women “sin in different ways”. According to the Catholic survey, men are more lustful but women are prouder. For men, the remaining sins ranked in the order of: gluttony, sloth, wrath, pride, envy and greed. Womens’ next biggest sins were: envy, wrath, lust, gluttony, greed and sloth.

Photos, information and videos are all available now at: 110209.co.uk

Footage from the BBC has shown that grizzly bears have a skill beyond size, scariness and preventing forest fires. Underwater cameras have revealed the animals possess footwork skills to shame the Premier League, kicking dead fish around from pool to pool in order to avoid wetting their ears – something bears reportedly hate.

Inside Sri Lanka’s war zone, reports have suggesed that the Tamil Tigers have been denying civilian evacuations. Tens of thousands of civilians are said to be trapped in the danger zone along the north coast of Sri Lanka. Some who have managed to escape say that the Tamil Tigers are preventing escape and in some cases, shooting those who try. Gordon Weiss, spokesperson for the UN, says that the militant group has intentions of recruiting those who are trapped in the war zone, including children as young as 14. Although no journalists can reach the inside of the war zone, The Tigers have stated that they will not stand down until a “guarantee of living with freedom and dignity and sovereignty” is given.

National Express trains between London and Edinburgh have seen a revolt by female staff over new uniforms. Claims that the new outfits were virtually ‘see-through’ due to cheap fabric led to a mass protest by staff, and has forced the company to review its new line of clothing. Marks and Spencers has been ordered to pay a woman £30,000 in compensation over an accident in one of their stores. The woman broke her shoulder after slipping on a pair of grapes. (Trivia - slipping on loose grapes is the number one reason why customers sue supermarkets in Britain!)

An Australian court has lifted a previous ban on naming the arsonist believed responsible for the horrific wild fires across the south-east coast earlier this month, despite fears of possible attacks by angry residents. The accused, Brendan Sokaluk, 39, was not present in court to hear the judge lift his previous anonymity. Prosecutors say he deliberately started a fire in Churchill, Victory, in which 11 people died. The wildfires have resulted in at least 189 deaths. Police say this number is likely to increase, as rescue services continue to search through the debris, and blazes continued at the time of writing.

A zoo keeper in Johannesburg, South Africa, has become so familiar with one of his lions that he can treat it like a household cat. Alex Larenty can cuddle the 550lb predator and brush him like he was a domestic pet, after six years of building trust with the animal. photos: Peter Allsop & Luke Simmonds

News » University

News » Technology

Residents demand refund University faces the music over piracy continued from front page... have encountered recurring problems. It is accompanied by a Facebook group with approximately 400 members, though not all of these are residents of James Watson. Those who sign the petition are asked to leave their room numbers as proof that they are current residents. Complaints left by students on the petition and group indicate that problems are widespread throughout the halls. Several students have complained of a persistent lack of hot water, central heating failures, electrical faults and untidy common spaces. Other problems appear to be widespread failure of kitchen equipment

and delays in replacing or fixing items such as cookers or windows. Some students say they have encountered problems for several weeks, and feel that their complaints are going unregistered and unaddressed. “This place is an absolute joke” said one commenter on the Facbook group, while another dissenter pointed out that the students are quite within their rights to take action, as they signed a contract agreeing topay rent in return for the provision of services. If you have something to say on this issue, get in touch via newsdesk@upsu. net. Pugwash will be following the story, and will keep you informed as to any future developments.

continued from front page... applications, music and video files, and even copyrighted printed text in some cases. “The music and film industry have got really excited about this; if you download illegally, they want to find you,” Minter warned. “Students often have no idea that there are smart, well- resourced people who are working hard to detect this happening.” Such un-authorised downloading may also place the University in legal trouble. Mr. Minter said: “They will serve Court Orders on whoever owns the internet connection and go after them”. Accordingly, the University monitors all download activity on its net-

work, and as such is capable of detecting unusually high levels of bandwidth usage. Pawel Majcher, a Latin American Studies student, had his Halls internet suspended after the University suspected him of excessive downloading. He recalled, “Everyone knows that you can’t download illegally but they never think it could happen to them. I was using Limewire to download movies onto my laptop before I received a letter stating that my Internet would be suspended until I offered some form of explanation”. However, in cases like Pawel’s, Andrew Minter also emphasized the University’s commitment to protecting its students: “While you’re at Halls

of Residence, we are a little bit fierce and weaselly and will not give up details without a proper legal demand for a Court Order”. But this no reason to abuse the system: for those of us who have since moved to private residence, he added: “But after your First Year, if you’re with Virgin Media, say, and they get a legal letter, they will report you”. All this results in hassle and extra paperwork for the University - time and energy that could be better used elsewhere. Therefore, for both your own personal protection and the sake of the university, it is requested that you do not download anything illegally on university networks in the future.


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Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

News

RAG Round up It has been a busy few months for the University's fundraising group, Raising & Giving (RAG), with a change of President and a reorganisation of its committee. "Basically, the new RAG structure was partly down to Lauren [RAG's previous president] having to leave due to placement" said new president Samantha Morbey, "and during the last semester a system without specific roles just didn't work." Several new positions have been created to increase the group's effectiveness. The new committee structure has the usual positions of President, Secretary, VP and Social Sec, but contains other positions more particular to the group's role within the Union. There are now two events co-ordinators, a representative to co-ordinate with the Athletics Union, a media/PR co-ordinator and the unique position of "RAG Raid Organiser". This position will oversee the popular and successful themed donation drives undertaken by the society and open to all charitable students. Samantha and the rest are taking this fresh start as a chance to reinvigorate RAG. If anyone wants to add a fundraising aspect to an event they have organised, forms are available from the Sabbatical Office in Gun House, and membership to the group is always open. "We always want to have more members and more people taking part in the events on offer, particularly the Raids", said Samantha. "A few years ago RAG was huge in Portsmouth with hundreds of people involved in every event. We hope that we can get it this way again, as not only will it raise more money for our charities, but could also make RAG a huge social network."

RAG have also recently announced their plans for the rest of 2009, and are aiming to get as many students as possible involved. RAG are one half of the charitable societies of Portsmouth Student's Union; the group has so far raised £4500 of its intended target of £15,000 for 2009. This money was raised through events such as the "Sporto's Dance Off" of 2008 and the paintball outing at the start of the first semester. Other activities included the annual RAG Jail, where students paid to imprison their friends in the RAG fort and the trademark activity of Portsmouth - the RAG Raids. These involve students often in costume - gathering in the main streets of Portsmouth for a day to raise funds from public donations. The raid that took place on 21st raised a phenomenal £706.72 for the RAG charitites abliterating the £300 odd raised from previous raids.Much of this money has to be attributed to the enthusasim of the volunteers. The next big fundraising event will be 2009's skydive, which proved extremely successful last year. As well as raising the most funds in a single event that year, it broke all records in the society's long history at Portsmouth University. Students have until the 15th March to sign up, with the three jumps taking place on the 26th of April and the 9th and 10th of May. Those who want to free-fall for fundraising will need to raise £295. In between the dives there will also be the RAG Fortnight, where the group will go into high gear with their activities. So far details are unconfirmed, but the group expects either a "mass South coast RAG raid", or a "Mass Jail Break", taking old favourites to new levels.

photos: Samantha Morbey

News » Local

News » University

Singing sweet FA

Hoax warning £25 at HMV still Brewery planned to be claimed for the Solent

A new musical is to be staged at the New Theatre Royal this year, and the talent search is on. “Sweet FA” is set in Hollywood, during the early musical movie period of the film studios. It will feature iconic characters such as silent comedian Fatty Arbuckle, and Peg Entwistle, the woman who famously threw herself off the Hollywood sign. The cast will be a mixture of professional performers and amateurs, and auditions for the amateur cast will begin on 14th March. (The professional auditions however will be held in London on 18th April.) Taking part in such productions is great for students, as it

University officials are warning students to be wary of calls from people claiming to be from the Students Loans Company (SLC). Reports have been received of people claiming to be the SLC, offering to credit student’s accounts with money in return for personal details. However the SLC has stated that it will never make such a call, or ever offer to credit accounts. Students are warned be extra careful and give no personal or account details, and are asked to report any such calls to the SLC to aid in their investigation. - WH

offers fantastic social and networking opportunities, and looks fantastic on your CV, especially if you intend to go into the performing arts. Hopeful thespians and performers should contact: music@port.ac.uk or ring on 023 9284 3023 for further information. You can also look on the Theatre’s website: newtheatreroyal.com

Rehearsals will be held in Portsmouth between 10am and 6pm, from 25th - 30th of May, and from September 14th - 30th. The show itself will be performed on 30th September - 3rd of October. Even if you aren’t brave enough to perform, it ought to be worth seeing! - WH

News » Competitions

Prizes from the Student Induction Survey have still yet to be claimed by five lucky winners. New students who participated in December 2008's survey were given the chance to win a £25 voucher at HMV. Yellow tickets 1351, 4168, and 4974 have yet to claim their vouchers. The holders of pink ticket number 0799 and green ticket number 0156 also have prizes waiting for them. The students should contact sue.soffe@port.ac.uk if they hold these numbers, but will need their tickets to claim the prize.

News » Local

Plans have been announced to brew beer in the middle of the Solent, using one of the sea forts off the coast. Currently Spitbank Fort, built in the 19th century off the coast of Portsmouth, is a private museum. But its owners have radical plans to revamp the site. As well as a brewery, which would use Solent waters drawn from deep sea wells for real ale production, the entrepreneurs intend to set up a bottling plant for mineral water. The proposed revamp of the fort, will cost aproximatly £250,000, and includes a recording studio, a helipad, dormitories, and a classroom as well.


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Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

Comment & Opinion

Leave me alone! Walking down the same road over the course of one week, I was asked by various clipboardwielding do-gooders if I wanted to save the children, if I wanted to save the whales, if I wanted to save the children of Wales (and the rest of the UK also, I'm sure the NSPCC doesn't discriminate), if I was looking for a job (by various leaflet ninjas), if I wanted a Debenhams gold card, and if I wanted to get pissed for less at three different nightclubs. Am I not allowed to go about my daily business without being interfered with, for lack of a more suitable expression?! Dammit, I want to be able to walk twenty metres without being pestered for all sorts of things. Yes, I want to give to charity and if I were a millionaire there's no end to the good I would do. But, clipboard people of the world, please do me a favour and don't ask me for what little money I have. I am

a student! As against generalisations as I am, it's pretty obvious. Use your head. Most of what I can afford to give you would probably only go towards the administrative costs of printing the forms on which I sign my life away anyway. As for you leafleters: I know it's just your job but can you really find nothing better than whoring yourself out, only to find the fruits of your labour thrown haphazardly all over the floor? It must be disheartening for you, so take the message back to your bosses: “Do Not Want”, to paraphrase something I read on the Internet. You may find yourself out of a job if there aren't any leaflets to distribute, but you'll be safe from people like me, who want nothing more than to run after you throwing your bits of paper and card at your heads as if they were shiny paper shuriken. What do you think out there? Am I being too harsh? Please don't let me be the only one whose only release is to write passive-aggressive rants! TW

Climate change? It's always nice when someone offers an opposing view to what is traditionally viewed as a one-sided debate. Here, Stuart offers his take on global warming and the climate change debate and poses the question "is climate change a sham?" Throughout the world governments are listing global warming and climate change as one of the biggest problems of the world today. But, among all the evidence that global warming is taking place, there are still those who believe that it is not as serious as it is made out to be. Many people throughout the world blame the media for their enhanced view on climate change and global warming. Every year they present stories claiming that this year climate change is the worst it has ever been and it's only going to get worse, with some news articles going as far as attempting to predict when we’ll all be living under water. Stories such as these can lead people into the wrong frame of mind. By presenting them with untrue facts, it can lead them to take actions that are unnecessary and a waste of time. Recently Northern Ireland's environment minister, Mr Wilson, banned

an advert urging people to help tackle climate change, as he does not believe humans to be the main cause of climate change and global warming. The advert suggested that turning the TV off instead of leaving it on standby could help save the planet and Mr Wilson described this as nonsense. In response to Mr Wilson’s actions, the Green Party and Friends of the Earth called for his resignation. However, Mr Wilson fought them off, claiming he had a right to hold his own opinion on the matter in hand. Reading up on articles and surveys taken in recent years, I am amazed to see the percentage of scientists that claim humans are not to blame for climate change. They predict many other reasons for this, such as increased solar activity or volcanoes heating up the oceans, which in turn will lead to the melting of the ice caps. There was even one article that claimed that there was nothing we could do to stop the inevitability of climate change and global warming in the long run. Overall I am not one to say I don’t believe in climate change, as the evidence is clear that it is taking effect, but I don’t see it as as big a problem as it is made out to be. I’m all for cutting down on pollution and increasing the amount we recycle, though, as this will greatly benefit those who come after us. Stuart Wilson

The Editor reserves the right to edit and omit contributions. The views expressed are those of the contributors and not of UPSU Media. E-mail to comment@upsu.net I'll try to tell the world about your views!

Furthering the debate... We're always glad when our work generates a flurry of excitement and controversy. It spurs people to become involved with what we do and is proof that our media outlets are a living part of our university community. Furthering the debate from last issue, some of you have been in touch with regards to Issue 3 of Pugwash magazine. I laughed when I picked up the latest Pugwash magazine. Not because it was funny, but because I was a little shocked. I didn't think you were allowed to put a naked girl on the cover of a magazine at a university! This would not happen where I come from, in China. I think people would be too scared of something happening if this happened

at home. My brother did not come to study in England with me and so he doesn't know that this kind of thing happens here. I think it is very good that they do, because it shows the courage of the people of this university to do something that might shock people. People might think they're being rude, but they are just being free to express themselves. Of course, I don't mean everyone wants to see it all the time, but to know you are allowed to do it is very good. Alice Zhang My friend Alice made me look at Pugwash magazine and write in because she didn’t want to do it on her own. I

think the girl in the picture has a lot of courage to be naked for everyone to look, at because people could look and laugh but they don’t, they think, “Oh, how brave!” I think this is very good that she can be naked to show how nice the body is and make people think that it is not just for sex. Many people could learn a lesson from her and the publication is also brave for letting her do this. All of the students must be proud that they can do this and read this. I read what people from the paper wrote about the magazine [last issue], and I have the same opinion. But I don’t like the swear words. That is unnecessary. People can talk without using them and if they do use them then other people don’t need to repeat it. Mary Lin

Dangerous dogs or lousy owners? There is nothing that gets our Copy Editor as riled up and passionately protesting as the "Dangerous Dogs" debate. Two unrelated but sadly similar incidents occurred recently that have spurred me to put fingers to keyboard and type furiously. Before I go any further, let me state emphatically what sensible people have been repeating, mantra like, for years: there is no such thing as a dangerous dog, only an irresponsible owner. The first of the unfortunate incidents was the death of a baby, "mauled to death by the family dogs", as the news put it. Let me say right now that I am not heartless - I feel for this poor family and do indeed believe this is a tragic occurrence. But it could have been avoided. In my mind, the headline should have read "Idiot grandmother leaves small baby alone with excitable untrained dogs". The dogs were put to sleep shortly after. This is a typical knee-jerk reaction after an event like this: blame the dogs, not the people who left their baby alone with the animals, who didn't train their dogs in the first place, who probably left the dogs with few other outlets for their energy. I'm not saying the dogs are completely innocent in this case, merely that they are not entirely guilty either.

If you do not have the time or knowledge to properly care for a pet, you should not have one. If you have a small flat with no garden, you really have no right owning a large or hyperactive dog, especially if you do not take the trouble to exercise it, both physically and mentally. If you do not do your research, or put effort into training and socialising your pet, you deserve every problem behavior they throw at you. I'm generalising, and being quite harsh, but this is how I feel. When I run away and start my own country, there will be a dog license that all potential canine owners have to qualify for before they are allowed anywhere near puppies with big 'love me' eyes. The second inciting incident was that an acquaintance of mine had his cat attacked by a Staffordshire Bull Terrier. He started on the typical rampage of how all these 'devil dogs' should be culled, which forces me to tote out the other age-old chant: blame the deed, not the breed. Yes, Staffies and Rotties and other such dogs have a reputation of being nasty - this is because of their history (since made irrelevant), the media portraying them as macho, and ignorant chavs who want to look tough perpetrating this image by buying these breeds, raising them improperly and then being shocked when they bite. It’s a vicious circle. But, more people are bitten by Jack Russels than any other breed. Staffies are one of only

three breeds actually recommended by the Kennel Club as being good with children. There are Rotweilers who are being trained as guide dogs, who visit people in old folks homes, who are the most placid and sweet animals you could ever meet. Any dog, any time, anywhere has the potential to bite - so just as you cannot assume all Muslims are terrorists, you cannot assume that just because a dog is of a certain breed that it is 'evil'. Most dog bites occur because the animal is frightened, and feels backed into a corner where they have no other option. Often the animal has been sending out "that's actually really annoying me, please stop" signals for some time beforehand, but they have been ignored or mis-read by the human in question. The growl is the last in a long series of warning stages, but it is often the first one we take notice of. A little understanding of the way a dog's mind and body language works goes a long way towards a happy, healthy and bite-free relationship. I'm skimming the issue, but I hope that some of the points I've raised will make you think. The next time you read something in the press about a dog attack, or a dangerous breed, don't jump on the anti-dog bandwagon right away. Try to see through the media hype. I'll say it again, and I will be saying it until the day I die: there is no such thing as a dangerous dog, just an irresponsible owner. Laura Patricia


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Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

FIRE KILLS STUFF


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Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

Life & Style

Life & Style Guide To... House hunting Emma Quigley

It’s not long until the student housing list comes out, and navigating it can seem daunting at first. Here are a few tips to help you secure the house of your student dreams. First of all, pick your housemates carefully! Just because they’re your friends, doesn’t mean you’ll enjoy living with them. How well do you really know them? If you really are good friends, you’ll make an effort to see each other often, without having to live together 24/7. You’ll also need to decide which is more important, the house or location, and also the type of house you want to live in. There are two types of houses available: the modern, Ikeafilled, blank canvases, or the older, homely, character-based houses. Although, location can prove to be very important, because will you, honestly, be prepared to walk or cycle early in the morning and in the darker winter evenings, come rain or shine, if it’s going to take over 30 minutes? Or will you end up wasting your money

on taxis? When looking at houses, agree with your housemates on what is the most important: the kitchen, bathroom, bedrooms and whether or not you what a living room. Some student houses don’t have them. Other important things to look out for are how close you will be to food shops, train stations and the free uni bus. Once you have decided on a house, organise your internet and TV early. Set-up can take up to two weeks, or longer if the previous tenants haven’t cancelled their subscription. You don’t want to be going backwards and forwards from the library, just to check Facebook... and to do uni work of course! Shop around for the best deals, both on the internet and tv connections, and things like bills and furniture if necessary. Keep these tips in mind and happy house hunting! For more information about student housing, contact Student Housing on 02392 843124 or pop into the Nuffield Centre.

photo: Peter Allsop Remember to look out for signs of mould, cracks and damp as seen here; these can be signs of worse problems and general neglect.

Things to consider: Is the property in a good state of repair? Are you happy with the neighbourhood and/or the security of the property? Is it convenient walking distance from the university, shops and so on? Is there enough furniture/is furniture included? Is there adequate space for everyone and their personal belongings? Are there basic safety features such as smoke alarms and fire blankets? Is the kitchen adequately equipped and does everything work? Is the bathroom clean and does everything work as it should? How much are the bills likely to be, and are they included in your rent/when can you expect to receive them? What are the details about the rent: how much is it, when and how is it to be paid, will it be raised during your tenancy etc? Are there any restrictions to having visitors, pets, posters etc? If in doubt, ask! Make sure everything is clear and above board before you sign anything.

Saving money on Cars Ross Keating

If you’re a student lucky enough to have some dosh lying around and a burning desire to buy a car, Ross Keating is here to give you some hints on how to go about buying one. This article might seem to give out quite a contradictory message; how can you save money on a new car by not buying new? It hasn’t been owned by anyone, but still isn’t new? Well, this article will explain everything. The terms “credit-crunch” and “recession” are being thrown around more and more, and with good cause. The faltering economy is now more than just fear mongering; it’s a reality affecting millions across the country in one way or another. One of the worst hit industries is almost certainly the automotive, with major manufacturers turning to the government for help: General Motors, Chrysler, Jaguar Land Rover and Volkswagen have all been hit. It would seem that as the whole automotive climate shifts, various companies would hold steadfast on their prices to minimize losses, but quite the opposite is occurring. Although production is limited in many factories, and shut down completely in others, there is still a high influx of brand new cars piling up in dealer networks across the country. Therefore, the advantage goes to the consumer in terms of buying a new car. Although on a student budget it seems quite out of the question to buy new, just £200 a month could be all you need. The temptations are there, and it makes sense to buy newer. Faults are less commonplace, as dealers offer larger warranties; and more commonplace in newer cars is the decreasing g/km of C02, which of course means lower road taxes. By now, you might be tempted to capitalise on this economic downturn.

So the way to save money is to buy something called a pre-registered car. Dealers register cars through their own names, meaning it cannot be classified as a new car, purely to hit sales targets as these pre-registered cars have up to 20% discounts on them, with very few miles on the clock. More money can be saved by bargaining on top of that. After some negotiating over price, the list price of a Fiat Grande Punto 1.4l was reduced from £7,995 (after a £2,000 discount) to £5,550 with optional extras, and that was brand spanking new. A Vauxhall Corsa 1.2i, listed at £8,995 pre-registered was reduced to £5,995. Both of these cars were at the main dealerships of both companies. It just goes to show, not everything about these tough times has to be bad.

What do I need to do? Make sure you get your V5C certificate (logbook) as soon as you buy the car. You will technically be its second owner. That could affect its value when you come to sell it. Ask if you’re buying a pre-reg car. By law, the dealer must answer honestly. Make sure you get a sales receipt and invoice too, as these prove that you legally own the vehicle. Get all quotes in writing .


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Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

Elections09 serve the needs of students.

What don’t the Sabbs do? Although the Students’ Union might appear to be one large building occupied by one large company, the Union is actually run by three separate companies: •

Why do we have Elections?

The University of Portsmouth Students’ Union charity - “the UPSU” - is a democratic organisation run in the interests of “promoting, defending and extending” the rights of students. In order to provide the most democratically fair system in which to allow students to develop themselves and each other, the Union is run by six Sabbatical Officers elected from the student population of Portsmouth University, who act as trustees of the UPSU charity. Each year 6 students are elected by all students at the University of Portsmouth to look after their interests in the forthcoming year. The successful candidates effectively run the Students’ Union, and at the same time represent you in all matters with the University. This booklet lists all the candidates standing, detailing their manifestos and giving some insight as to why they think they are the best person for the job.

What is a Sabb?

Sabbatical officers, or “Sabbs”, are elected students who work at the Students’ Union to make sure the Union looks after the needs of, and represents, the students of Portsmouth, to help student to get the most out of their time at University. They are current or just-graduated Pompey students who have won one of the six Sabbatical positions during the Union elections, held in March

each year. Successful candidates are the interface between all students at the University and the University itself, with direct control over how the Students’ Union is run on a day-to-day and future basis. The Sabb positions form the Executive Committee of the Students’ Union. These full-time, paid positions are for one year and Sabbs can serve their term either at the end of their course or between years, so long as they are a full-time student when they stand for election. Each successful candidate is known as a Sabbatical Officer and together these 6 people act as Trustees of the Students’ Union Charity.

What do they do? There are six Sabbs, working full-time at the Union, and each one does a different job, but all of them are related to representing and supporting students at the University. While each Sabb has a job title for example sports officer, or student activities officer, they are all first and foremost the trustees of the Union charity, and are accountable directly to the student body. The job is one which carries a huge amount of responsibility, as the job requires each Sabb - or “officer” - to share responsibility for ensuring the representational and welfare needs of each of the University’s 20,000 students are met, as far as they possibly can. In practice, the roles require each Sabb to attend a number of meetings to ensure the Union and University are both working to their highest levels to

The UPSU Charity - of which the Sabbs are the trustees - exists to represent, promote and defend the rights of students, and to enhance the student experience, UPEL - the University of Portsmouth Enterprise Ltd. - is the University’s subsidiary company which handles the operation of bars and entertainments. This company is run entirely separately from the UPSU, and reports directly to the University. The University of Portsmouth owns and maintains the Union’s buildings, and have recently acquired the Union’s catering facilities.

What does this mean? In practise, this means that Sabbatical officers, while well-placed to communicate the needs and wishes of the student body on relevant matters to the companies which run bars, entertainments and catering at the Union, have no direct say over how these businesses are run. However, this does not mean that UPSU can’t run its own events; UPSU and UPEL collaborate on a daily basis to organise events of all sizes run by and for students through societies and clubs, with the 2008 Societies Takeover being one primary example. Other UPSU-run events include the Freshers’ and Refreshers’ Fayres, and the Freshers’, Christmas and Graduation Balls.

Why become a Sabb? Being a Sabb is a great way to get experience in a professional field, with responsibility for looking after the needs of students and the Union; Sabbs represent the students of the University right up to the highest levels of the University. The full-time members of staff at the Students’ Union are there to advise the Sabb team and introduce them to the necessary procedures and structures. They will also receive training from the National Union of Students and other senior advisors and specialists, giving them a first class insight into the operations of the charity and business world, as well as expertise in public speaking, political representation, budget management and strate-

gic planning. Being a Sabb is a tremendous boost to any student’s professionalism and career prospects.

Who can be a Sabb?

So, you want to stand as a student (Sabbatical) Officer, but you must first determine if you are eligible. To be eligible you must be a full member of the Students’ Union and be enrolled on a course at the University of Portsmouth. 1: Union Membership Firstly, in adherence with Schedule One of the University of Portsmouth Students’ Union Constitution, Full Members of the Union are defined as: Such persons who are registered or enrolled as students at the University (and in so doing have consented to be members of the Union) and who have not opted out of membership of the Union by written notice to the Trustees shall be members of the Union. Such other persons as are admitted to membership in accordance with the Articles and any applicable Regulations made under Article 9.2 and the Sabbatical Officers shall be members of the Union. For the avoidance of doubt, only persons who are registered or enrolled as students with the University and the Sabbatical Officers may be members of the Union for the purposes of the Memorandum, the Articles or the Act. Any category of membership established by the Trustees which confers rights or privileges on persons other than those registered or enrolled as students with the University or the Sabbatical Officers may not confer on such persons voting rights at general meetings of the Union. 2: Course Enrolment All students studying on full time and part time courses (including HND and degree courses) qualify as prospective candidates. 3: International Students If you are not a UK resident, you will need to be eligible to obtain a UK work permit in order to take up your position.

Why should I vote? It’s no cliché - every vote in the elections counts, and the only way you - as the combined population of Portsmouth’s student body - can be sure that the best candidate for each Sabbatical position is elected. The Union prides itself on it’s democratic structure - it’s what makes us different from any other organisation. Your vote is just one opportunity to influence the running of your Union, and you never know, it might be

you standing one year! If you haven’t taken part in the democratic process, should you really have the right to complain? The people you elect represent you to the student body, University, City, Government - it’s up to you collectively to decide if they’re right for the job. The Union is here to enhance your experience and make sure that your time at University are the best years of your life. If this is the only way you get involved in Union’s activities this year, then it will be worth it. It is the only thing that really matters in the calendar of events. Even if the only way you used the Union before now was by reading the Survival Guide sent to you as a Fresher then you should really consider participating in the most important Union event. It’s your Union, your vote, your elections so have your say! Voting is extremely easy - all you have to do is turn up to a polling booth having read through the candidates’ manifestos, attended the hustings, or simply having spoken to the candidates in person - and fill out a ballot paper.

Can I vote by post?

If you are not around to vote between Wednesday 12th and Friday 14th March, then you can vote by post or by email. You can find out more by e-mailing the Deputy Returning Officer on elections@upsu.net, visiting our elections webpages or in writing to: Joanna Dewen, Deputy Returning Officer, UPSU, The Student Centre, Cambridge Road, Portsmouth PO1 2EF

What is NUS Affiliation and how do I decide what to vote?

In addition to the candidates, there is one more box for you to tick on your ballot form - NUS affiliation. The debate as to whether to remain part of NUS or break away (dis-affiliate) has been going on for some years, and we are obliged to give you the opportunity to have your say on whether to stay part of NUS or not. You can see the pros and cons of the arguments summarised here, then use the ballot form to indicate you choice. More information about the 2009 Elections can be found online at: upsu.net/ elections

MARCH 9th: QUESTION TIME WEEK

MARCH 23rd: CAMPAIGN WEEK

MARCH 24th: POLLS OPEN

MARCH 27th: RESULTS NIGHT

Candidates will face a panel debate infront of an audience - and video cameras. Got a question for them? Get on the website

Candidates recieve their publicity and campaign teams will be mobilised for votes right across the campus

The ballot boxes will open across campus from 9am on Tuesday 24th, closing at 1pm Friday 27th. Locations online

Join us for all the tears and joy, as the candidates find out who will be running the Union next year. Or see them live online

upsu.net/elections


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Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

Portsmouth University champion dance squad perform at half time in the showcase fixture of Portsmouth mens’ first football team vs Southampton mens’ firsts Chris Hewett

Centuries of rivalry between Southampton and Portsmouth finally culminated on Sunday, in the first ever Varsity between the city’s two universities. Anticipation began weeks before the day of the clash, and spectators and teams were not disappointed on what was the biggest sporting event on the AU Calendar. Dozens of teams gathered outside the Union at 9am to board the coaches carrying them into the unknown. What was certain however, was that heroes would be made, villains would emerge and that Portsmouth were without question the underdogs of the day. Undeterred by this, the university’s sporting elite were in good spirits as they approached Southampton. The atmosphere among the competitors was one of excitement and intensity as the coaches unloaded. Most of the teams were competing at

Wide Lane, where the outdoor pitches were located, however, as a testimony to the scale of the event, teams were also competing across the whole city, and the Skydiving club were even dropping themselves down into it. Cricket, Tchouckball and Roller Hockey matches were all held at Southampton’s Union and there was a loud and exciteable crowd cheering on all of the events. Competition was fierce in each of the events, with one competitor needing several stitches after taking an unfortunately directed cricket ball to his lip. After having to share just one point in all of these events combined, the attention turned to Wide Lane for some more favorable Pompey results as some of the biggest games of the day were about to start. The atmosphere around the WideLane complex was buzzing and with a packed bar and Pimms stall, the American Football boys took to the field. Cheerleaders from both universities hugged the touchline, performing

the occasional routine and warming up for their halftime entertainment in front of a packed out crowd. The Tennis team were fortunate that their match had finished a little earlier, as the football was regularly kicked over the posts, and into the courts. The halftime display by the Cheerleaders from both Unis turned heads all over the ground and the music pumping out of the over head speakers kept the atmosphere bouncing all afternoon. A close game came to a climax in-front of an ever growing crowd as teams that had finished their sports for the day made their way to the rubber crumb pitch for the climactic Mens’ Football match. Meanwhile, the Rugby teams attracted a strong crowd to the other side of the ground, with news of their matches being blared out by the Pure FM team. The Womens’ Lacrosse match provided one of the more comedic moments of the afternoon. One individual became the first ever streaker at a Portsmouth v Southamp-

ton Varsity in history. Some investigative questioning from one of the Pure FM DJ’s revealed he had been doing it for a bet, though he had been dissappointed that the girls were holding far bigger sticks than he was. Once the American Football had finished, and the floodlights began to flicker on, the Portsmouth Uni Football First team took to the field. As the players warmed up there was a building atmosphere, with the Portsmouth fans chanting and waving their pre prepared banners. The referee’s whistle blew to cheers from excited spectators, many of whom had their photo taken with the FA Cup against the backdrop of a setting sun over the rubber crumb pitch. Shortly after Southampton went ahead to a decent indivdual goal, Portsmouth levelled thanks to a howler from the home keeper. There was a sense that the infamous trophy would be adding this fixture to the list of epic football matches it has witnessed in the past.

photo by Jacob Leverett Shortly after this, a controversial referee’s decision overruled the linesman’s flag, to allow a Southampton attacker a free run at goal, which he finished with aplomb to make the score 2-1. This was not the only controversial decision by an official, with a number of clubs suffering harsh decisions throughout the day. In keeping with other Portsmouth results during the day however, Southampton eventually proved too strong and claimed a 3-1 victory. The trophies were presented to the victorious Southampton teams but in true Pompey style, the away team spectators kept alive their high spirits and boarded the coaches to head for home The evening entertainment capped off what had been a fantastic and memorable day for everyone that had been involved, and as the snakebite flowed, talks turned to next year’s Varsity, and possibly a victory over our rivals from up the road.

Varsity » Culture

Varsity » Photo-call

A little bit of history

FA Cup in Southampton

The conflict originates back in history with the Portsmouth and Southampton docks. There was a strike, and Portsmouth agreed with Southampton to close both ports to improve conditions and pay for the workers. However, the Southampton port secretly opened whilst Portsmouth was striking, and took all of the trade. Portsmouth workers then began referring to the Southampton workers as “Scum”, which soon evolved to “Scummer”. The choice of the word “Scum” is specific, as it is an acronym of the Southampton Port worker’s Union at the time - Southampton Community Union Members. Meanwhile, some Southampton

Sportos from Southampton and Portsmouth were treated to an opportunity on Sunday, when the FA Cup was briefly exhibited during Varsity. Just after 3:30 pm, the Cup was delivered to the Wide Lane site, where it remained on display for the rest of the event. Sportos were able to have their photo taken with the Cup. The security is understandable - the FA Cup was stolen on 11th September 1895, from a Birmingham shoe shop. The trophy was never recovered and holders Aston Villa were charged £25 for a replacement. Over 60 years after the theft took place, it was revealed, although never officially confirmed, that the Cup had been melted down to produce counterfeit half crowns.

residents have taken to referring to their local rivals as “Skates”. This is a derisive alternative to “matelot” to describe naval sailors, Portsmouth being the home of the Royal Navy. As lonely sailor miles from shore the Skate is the only fish which keeps on sucking when it is dead - we’ll let you work the rest out! Southampton and Portsmouth are separated by hundreds of years of inter-city conflict. The bad feeling between the clubs, who have met relatively few times, is a reflection of history.. Therefore the animosity between the two cities is one that stretches back for almost 800 years. And on that note, let battle commence...

The cup on display at Varsity has been in use since the 1992 final. It is a little known fact that an exact replica exists of the Cup; it has never been used and will only be employed if the main one is lost or severely damaged. The visit of the world famous trophy was something of a coup to distinguish the first ever Portsmouth vs Southampton Varsity. Sports Officer Simon “Darby” Leach commented: “I’m delighted with the way the event was run from start to finish. The presence of the FA Cup definitely proved a popular attraction.” The presence of the Cup is made even sweeter, knowing that it was arranged completely through the University of Portsmouth’s Athletic Union.


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Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

Swimming Rob Knott

The Swim Team enjoyed mixed fortunes at the Jubilee Pool during Varsity, with the B Team easily beating the “Scummers” B Team and the A Team narrowly losing to their counterparts. Top performance of the day came in the final event; the Skins, with Jack “Pirate Steve” Smith winning the six race contest by the smallest of margins. “Pirate Steve” also went on to win the 50m Breastroke and got Pompey off to a great start by winning the

very first individual of the afternoon; the 100 Individual Medley. Pompey’s overall best race was the Mens’ 100m Breastroke- here Pirate Steve and Jack Penny romped home with a 1st and 2nd, beating both Scummers hands down. In the ladies Skins event Sophie Castle was the last Pompey swimmer knocked out, leaving two “Scummers” to fight out the last race. One of the best individual performances for the ladies was from club President Alice Tourell, swimming a great 100m Freestyle to finish 2nd, beating not

American Football only Southampton’s B swimmers but Portsmouth’s A team swimmer too. Great performances were also seen from Tom Marsters and David “James” Hickman, beating their respective Scummers in every race they swam. Although the overall point went to Southampton, Portsmouth swimmers can hold their heads high, as many races were won by the smallest of margins in the last 5m. Special mention should go to the team’s social swimmers who supported the competitive swimmers right through to the last race.

Scott Reason

Going into their last game of the season, which also happened to be the first annual Varsity day, the Portsmouth Destroyers felt confident before the start of the game. The first quarter saw a gridlock affair, with both defences’ shutting down the offensive charge. Falsed fumbles, quarter-back sacks and a lot of hard hitting took place, but initially no team was able to put points on the board! The first score of the game eventually came from the Southampton side, right near the end of the first quarter. This was the best performance the Portsmouth Destroyers have ever produced, holding the Stags to a 7 point lead. Going into the second quarter, Portsmouths’ heads where still high and got a lot higher with an 80 yard offensive drive, again, a new record for the Destroyers. However, Portsmouth

where unsuccessful at putting a score on Southampton. With Southampton in the lead they started to produce a solid game on both offensive and defensive sides and began to increase their lead. Portsmouth, not out of the game, produced another moment of magic when wide receiver William H Masinja returned a kick-off for 80 yards, lifting the noise from both players and fans at a packed rubber crumb pitch! With numerous penalties on the play and a lot of flag throwing from the referees, the Destroyers could not break down the defensive stand from the Stags. As the clock ticked away and the sunlight set over Varsity day, the Southampton Stags walked away with the win! A tough fought battle by both these rival teams saw the ending of a great third season for the Portsmouth Destroyers, with an overall standing of third place in Conference 4 of the southern division in the BUAFL league.

photo: Tom Worman

Wakeboarding Mike Burt

With Varsity in full swing, the “Pompey Wake” took to the lake to face “SU Wake” in what proved to be a close showdown. The prize was a Custom painted wakeboard (created by Mike Burt) which was produced to be a trophy which can be handed over year after year with a tally of the two Wakeboard Clubs’ Victories, and hung in the Athletic Union for all to see. With most sports on the day being played on land, the weather wasn’t much of an issue, however, the faces of the competitors when at JB Waterski was enough to put anyone off for the rest of month.

The two Universities arrived at the lake and were given two hours in which to work on their runs, practice something new and prepare for the wake-off. From 12pm till 2pm the teams made note of what other riders were sticking down, trying to put off the opposing team with a pre-comp “psyche out!” 2pm came fast, and, with the riders informed about the layout of the comp and lined up on the dock, the judges took to the benches as they watched the three different categories, Rookie (Mens’), Wakeskate (Womens’), and Amateur (Mens’). Riders were taking their skills to the limit, attempting some big moves in their runs and Wild Cards, including an S-bend, a Blind Judge and Roll

to Reverts. Riders were given extra marks for waving at the judges and taking out the biggest front edge at the end of their run too! With riders bruised and battered, the judges compiled the scores together to reveal the winners of each individual category and to reveal that Southampton had walked away with the victory. The trophy board was handed over to the President of the Uni Southampton Wakeboard Club, for them to hang in their Union until next years’ re-match comes around! Final Standings: Portsmouth: - 52 Points Southampton: - 54 Points

photos: Dan Smyth, Krishan Mistry and Lucy Henry

Mens’ Lacrosse Rachael Penycate

Varsity proved to be quite a mixed bag for the Lacrosse club, with both the Mens’ and Womens’ Firsts taking part in the event and with mixed results for the thriving club. In the knowledge that at the time of face off, the rest of Pompey Uni weren’t doing as well as everyone would have hoped, it was imperative for the lads to win back a victory for the morale of the uni as a whole. Judging by previous games versus the Scum, the boys were pretty confident that a win would be well within their abilities; however when it came to the crunch everyone had to admit

they’d probably counted their chickens a bit too early. Southampton were proving to be quite difficult adversaries for the boys, who were tight on their defence and allowed little mercy for the surging attackers who tried hard to break through them. It wasn’t an altogether easy ride for Southampton either though, as our D-unit lads were as energetic and as passionate as ever, letting the home side through on very few occasions. Keeper and co-captain for the day, Oliver Bailey, as usual performed some awesome saves but was also undertaking some rather risky moves, particually leaving his goal on a few occasions, obviously leaving Pompey

in a very vulnerable position. This tactic proved to be a mistake on one occasion when a goal was scored as a result. In midfield Mike Beatty, as usual, had a great game, fighting hard for the face offs and winning them most of the time, but his opposite number proved himself as a true fighter too and there were often scuffles on the ground featuring several players in a heap on the floor… Our A-team did their best, and at least their efforts weren’t in vain - they managed to score 6 goals before Scum had caught up with them, with a controversial goal having sent Will Hamilton to the penalty box for a fairly innocuous challenge, forcing Pompey to defend.

The five men stood up exceptionally and were able to turn over posession before, in a moment of controversy, Ben Endley won posession and as he tried to break free, his stick was kicked out of play by a Southampton player. Bizzarely, posession was given to the home side by the Southampton referee. From that posession, the Scummers drove around goal, and finished in the bottom corner. The Pompey defence were incensed that the goal had been allowed to stand, as they claimed in unision that the attacker had entered the goal crease before shooting, however the goal stood, forcing the teams to play into 10 minutes extra time. Riled by the apparent cheating, the

Pompey lads were really determined to win the game which was rightfully theirs. The first five minutes of extra time went by with lots of nervousness from the sidelines, as neither team scored a goal, leaving it open for either team to walk away with the very important victory. Luckily for the lads and for their supporters (apparently the cheerleaders were cheering...) Carl Joyce saved the day with a tidy finish. It would have ended with eight goals to six if Liam O’Mahoney’s edgeof-the-crease belter had made it in, but the Scummer’s goalie, fortunately for them, had spectacularly saved it. The victory was a sobering experience for the ambitious lads, and won Pompey a well needed point.


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Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

Football

Cricket Cordelia Grey

Portsmouth Womens’ Cricket Club faced a tough side in their Southampton rivals, but they remained optimistic after winning the toss and choosing to field first. Fresher Lucy opened the bowling with speed and accuracy, and a fine ball from President Cordelia led to an early wicket being taken. However, the appearance of Southampton’s Third batswoman led to a partnership difficult to break. After a fairly steady run rate, Angharad came out from the

wicket keeping position and bowled a straight ball, hitting off stump to dismiss Southampton’s second batswoman. With a loud fielding side, Portsmouth ladies went out to bat with a positive attitude. Every opportunity for singles was taken by all players and confident calling lead to a steady run rate. An unexpected early dismissal of the Captain, however, left fresher Lucy to bat, with fellow Fresh Sherry racking up a healthy number of runs before each being subject to Southampton’s ridiculously straight bowling. With faith slipping, it was left to old girl

Kelly Coombes to bat our way to victory but alas it was not to be, despite scoring an impressive amount of runs. Following a shock wicket, Lucy was replaced by Treasurer Amelia but was the subject to an even bigger shock dismissal of LBW before getting to show Southampton her amazing batting skills. Cordelia, last to bat as usual, formed the final partnership with Miss Coombes and, unfortunately, managed to get herself run out after a dismal number of runs leaving Coombes last woman standing. Final score, Portsmouth 61-all out, Southampton 131-2.

large haired skipper and Potton immediately silenced the Southampton fans as every run brought a roar from the wild Pompey supporters. Chants of “Play Up Pompey” accompanied a large run tally that included contributions from Freddie Dare, Mark Drain and Ed Lye. Perhaps the best moment of the innings was when Freddie caused a mid wicket collision, with Draino leaving himself run out, something which he rightly earned “dick of the day” for! Portsmouth closed on 147, which Southampton would have to work hard to chase against a strong bowling side. The fielding performance of Portsmouth displayed just as much deter-

mination and aggression as the batting had and tight bowling from Jamie Scott brought the first wicket through a superb reflex catch by Freddie Dare behind the stumps. This initial wicket let the floodgates open for Portsmouth and a spectacular diving catch from Beano, as well as some sharp fielding from Potton and Lye left the Southampton Saints needing a massive amount of runs off the last couple of overs. The Saints were eventually all out, chasing a total which allways appeared to be out of their rech and sent the rafters in the sports hall wild with jubilant Portsmouth fans.

photos: Lucy Henry Paul Kirtley

The final and most anticipated spectacle of this year’s varsity was the Mens’ 1st team football match. In a pre season friendly, the same fixture had resulted in a 4-0 Portsmouth win, something which was obviously on the minds of the Southampton team. Mens’ Football was poised at one win apiece, piling even more pressure on both teams. There was a good Pompey turn out, with both sides of the pitch lined with spectators. The game started at a good pace, with Maltby putting in some good tackles and Jordan looking sharp in the centre. Kammy and Agate were winning everything at the back, whilst at the other end skilful Josh and tireless Younie were being well marshalled. Spence was getting forward well and seeing a lot of the ball, but was unable to create any clear cut opportunities. The game was well balanced, with neither team taking control, so the first Southampton goal was unexpected. Their centre forward collected the ball in the Pompey half, and after some good skill got his shot away, which beat Rob and squeezed in off the post. Shortly after Pompey were back on level terms, after some good possession and promising build up play the ball found Matt Barker in

the middle of the park, whose strike from well outside the box was fumbled by the keeper and found the net, sparking pandemonium from the fans. There were chances for Pompey to take the lead before the half; Maltby hit a good strike from 35 yards, which the keeper tipped onto the post, then the lively James Potton, who had been combining well with Max down the left, beat a man and saw his shot well saved after Younie’s intelligent run had opened up some space for the winger. At half time, Josh was replaced by Paul Burrows to provide some more firepower up top. The refereeing in all of the day’s football matches had been suspect, and this was clearly no different after the referee allowed a second Scumhampton goal to stand, even after the linesman had flagged an obvious offside. He offered no explanation. Portsmouth had most of the possession throughout the second half, and Rob was making some good saves to keep Southampton out. James Lawrence and AJ were both brought on to freshen things up. A breakaway Southampton goal and long break in play due to a Southampton injury killed the game off, and even after some good Portsmouth battling, it finished 3-1 to the referee, sorry, Southampton.

Badminton

Chris Blow

As Southampton Mens’ Firsts were responsible for relegating Portsmouth Mens’ Firsts from the premier division in the last week of last season, the day’s play offered some opportunity for revenge. As the games drew closer, the atmosphere inside the sports hall was electric, with the Pompey support consisting of Swimming and Basketball, who heavily outnumbered the token three or four Southampton supporters. Play got off to a steady start in the men’s doubles, with some great shots coming from both teams, but as things started to settle down our guys slowly started to take control of the game. Unfortunately we were a player down in the singles, meaning the team had to forfeit two games, completely hindering any chances of a win for the Mens’ Firsts. The Mens’ Seconds put

photo: Jacob Leverett Chris Hewett

Portsmouth cricketers arrived at Southampton keen to do their bit for Team Pompey and claim a Varsity point between the two Mens’ teams, though the look on everyone’s faces told stories of the night before and there was doubt whether the performance would match the ambition. The First team were up first in the unique indoor format of 10 overs per innings, with just six players in each team. Portsmouth were put into bat first and were led out by Skipper Dan “Beano” Hewitt and all round sporting hero James Potton. A good start by the

photo: Tom Worman in a plucky performance to pull out a draw against a Southampton team, who currently play in the division above. There were moments when it looked like they might snatch a win but a draw was still a fantastic result. A special mention to Patrick Horrocks for some great singles play, combined with his usual array of supporting melodies. Once the men had played, the ladies got underway. With Southampton currently playing in the premiere division, our ladies had a hard task ahead of them. There was effort and commitment by all players, with some lovely net play in the doubles, but in the end the task was just too great. Nadia Petrova got the lady’s only win, although the final result does not fairly reflect the balance of play. One thing is certain, Varsity (win or lose) was an amazing spectacle for sport and we can’t wait for another opportunity to take Southampton once again.

Mens’ Lacrosse Team

photo: Lucy Henry


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Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

Roller Hockey Luke Bogue

photos: Lucy Henry and Krishan Mistry

Your views Fresher’s Point of View Jonathon Kemp, Lacrosse.

Old Boys View Jack ‘Jackson’ Cronin -

To be honest, I was quite surprised when I received the text from James Agar saying I was going to Varsity. I had only played for the First team a couple of times, and although I think I have done alright, there are players with much more experience that didn’t get to go, so obviously I was very happy to be part of the team. I didn’t really know what to expect from the game, before the start I was quite nervous and keen not to let people down. I had wanted to join up last year after hearing about it from a mate back home, but couldn’t find the stall at Freshers Fayre! The coach ride up there was fairly subdued; most of the Mens’ players had travelled to an away match in Exeter the previous day, arriving home late. As we went for a walk around the pitch and then returned to the changing room, the excitement began to build. There is a great camaraderie within the group though and from day one I’ve always just been made to feel like part of the team. As we were warming up a big crowd began to form with all the cheerleaders lining the pitch and probably drawing in a lot more floating Pompey Uni supporters. The game seemed to have everything; drama, controversy, excitement and excellent play from both sides. A lot of the players were suffering going into extra time, but when the final whistle went it was just euphoria, - all the players piled into the middle of the pitch as the Southampton guys trudged off dejected. I was very proud to be a part of the event and to be one of the few away teams to be on a winning side made it even better. I am already looking forward to next years’ Varsity and the upcoming Pompey 8’s Tournament

The Varsity day was a bit of an interesting one for me to be honest. At 9am I really couldn’t see me making it to Southampton after a heavy one the night before, but the atmosphere on the coach was pretty good and there was a lot of banter flying about on the way. Our cricket team had an indoor match at the Union so we jumped off the coach there and watched some of the Tchouckball first. I spent most of the game trying to work out what the rules are to be honest! Still not really too sure but there were a lot of people watching at least! After watching the First team cricketers destroy the Saints in their game, we were pretty confident of getting a win against their Seconds. Unfortunately though, thanks to me putting life and limb on the line for our precious Varsity point, I took a cricket ball right on the lip and put my tooth right through it! After a wobble, and a lot of blood, I was able to go out and bat, but to rub salt in the wound we still lost the game. I did have to make a trip to A and E for stitches, but luckily was back in time for the dancers, cheerleaders and, oh yeah, some of the sport too I thought the atmosphere at the rubber crumb pitch was awesome, and the fact they ran out of beer didn’t end up mattering to me because of my lip anyway! Highlights of the day for me were probably Chewit’s shocking bowling in our Second’s game - he’s never gonna hear the end of that, especially as he was laughing about my lip - and probably the footie at the end. I just don’t know if anything was really any better than the dance squad at half time to be honest!

After a minor deliberation over match referees, the game got off to an explosive start. Southampton came out of the blocks quickest and fired home on the first shift of the game, only a minute and fifty seconds into the start of the match. The slack defending continued from Pompey; after settling into the intensity of the game we conceded three goals in quick succession, and, approaching the mid-way point of the first period, we looked dead and buried. Flustered by the physical edge and slick passing and skill that Southampton bought to the game, we struggled to get involved and dictate the pace of the game. A solid performance from Fresher Dave Orme breathed life into Portsmouth team, and a goal mid-way through the first restored a sense of belief and hope amongst the camp. A quick tally from Southampton left us 5-1 down with only a third of the game played. However, credit to the boys, the heads never dropped and the feeling after the first was that we had to come out and be better. The second period saw the physical intensity of the tie pick up, with more penalties being drawn. Pompey scored two quick successive goals to change the context of the match, making it 5-3; Southampton rallied and pulled another goal back to take a lead of three. A quick response late in the second period saw Pompey draw within two goals, and to win the period 3-1 taking with us into the third a sense of great optimism and belief. We had managed to finally get going after a disappointing early start and the third period was anyones for the taking. The third period saw the aggression boil over as the penalties came thick and fast; a player from each side was ejected for fighting, and after the interruption the game continued at a frenzied pace. A goal with five minutes remaining kept us in contention, but ultimately the early deficit proved too much. The game was fought in great spirits, which from time to time came to boil over, Elliot Staker our Net-minder had an outstanding performance, coming up with some huge saves, to keep us in it, and he came out with the “man of the match” award. The Fresher Dave Orme had a marvellous offensive performance, bagging himself a hat-trick. Despite coming close, our fighting spirit was curtailed as the match drew to a close, it was a valiant performance from the boys, and hopefully we can build on it for the remainder of the season.

As a part of this Varsity pull out, we put Portsmouth’s Sports Officer against his equal number from Southampton Name: Simon Leach Uni: Portsmouth

Name: Henry Potter Uni: Southampton

1. What is your favorite sport? It has to be Hockey

1. What is your favorite sport? Cricket, but I will watch any sport really.

2. What degree course did you study and what grade did you acheve? I studied Forensic Biology, not a lot of people know that. I got a 2:2

2. What degree course did you study and what grade did you acheve? Economics and Finance. I got a 2:2

3. How long have you been at your uni? This is my sixth year

3. How long have you been at your uni? I’ve been at Southampton Uni four years, but have always lived in Hampshire

4. In five words, why is your Uni better than today’s opponant? Women, Banter, Football. Spinnaker, Less Scummy (Yes, we know that’s six, but it’s far from the worst refereeing decision of the day) 5. Who is your sporting hero? It’s got to be Sir Steve Redgrave 6. What has been your highlight of the day? Seeing the Mens’ Lacrosse team win by one goal in extra time.

7. What would you do if you had the F.A. Cup for a Day? I’d fill it with beer and watch the 1946 F.A. Cup final (Derby beat Charlton 4-1 in extra time).

4. In five words, why is your Uni better than todays opponant? (Henry Potter was unable to think of any reason that Southampton Uni is better than Portsmouth - Ed)

5. Who is your sporting hero? Lance Armstrong - to perform at such an elite level for so long is incredible 6. What has been your highlight of the day? Mens’ Football Firsts, really enjoyable game and there was some awesome banter going back and forth down by the netball pitches 7. What would you do if you had the F.A. Cup for a Day? I’d cut the ribbons off and replace them with red ones

Womens’ Lacrosse Having seen the Mens’ team victorious, the Ladies took to the field with a much greater challenge on their hands. As with the Exeter match the previous week, the girls were run off their feet by the Southampton ladies, who dominated the game and stole the ball at every given opportunity. It was undeniably hard to keep the girls’ spirits up but captain Suzy Pope did her best to reassure her team, and as the game progressed, it was noticeable to the supporters and the subs that there was a marked improvement in team work, with the defenders sticking more to their players than before. However it was not enough to stop the Southampton goals coming, and the girls were left physically and emotionally battered after the sheer amount of sprinting and sneering from the Scummers, who rather

bitchily said in front of Pompey attacker Nicola Davey: “we might as well go and buy chocolate, we don’t need to do anything anymore”. Whilst it may have been partly true, it was quite snide and was rather unnecessary, so didn’t leave the Pompey ladies with much affection for the Southampton team. There was only one real moment of hope for the exhausted Portsmouth team, when centre Dominique Shaw took the ball behind the goal with the intention of passing to Rachael Penycate, who was in a perfect position for scoring a goal, but the Southampton goalie got there first and intercepted what could have been Pompey’s only goal of the game. The game finished with a 32-0 scoreline, reflecting the score from the previous Exeter game, but it did not

reflect the sheer amount of effort put in by the ladies as a whole, who were still smiling as they left the pitch, despite the loss and the unfriendly banter from the Southampton ladies - at least we know we’re the nicer squad, eh girls? All in all, it was an enjoyable day for both teams and we look forward to our next Lacrosse tournament, the Pompey 8s, in May. Well done to the lads and commiserations to the girls - sticks up, look sharp and bring on next year’s Varsity!

Check out all the best photos and videos from the day online at: upsu.net/varsity



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Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

Life & Style

The Genesis Expo Russell Thomas

Where would you expect to find a museum dedicated to Creationism? Where, more specifically, would you expect to find a museum dedicated to Scientific Creationism, or Creation Science? Probably not in Portsmouth. But, walk along The Hard (the road where you will find the Historic Dockyards and Portsmouth Harbour Train Station) and you will see the sign “Genesis Expo” sticking out like a sore, un-evolved but highly opposable, thumb. It is an entirely unspectacular locale. The building itself used to be a bank. It makes a stark contrast to its American cousin, the Creation Museum in Cincinnati, which covers an area of 70,000 square feet, designed by someone from Universal Studios, and cost $27 million to build. The Genesis Expo is the only museum in England wholly dedicated to the idea that essentially everything is rooted in the theory of Creation; being that the world, and everything in it, came into existence through six days hard graft and a seventh reserved for the putting up of feet. These days, throughout most of England, this story is simply that - a story. Creation Science tries to explain the creation of everything through science – a warped, botched kind of science though it is. They believe that the world is still young, 10,000 years old to be precise. But the museum itself has a lot to live up to. On first entry you will see a model of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, not a small one, a quite large one. At least they believe the dinosaurs were around, you will think. The relief, however, is very short-lived, as at once you walk into a corridor where Darwin seems to have been hung, drawn and quartered. It eases you into a state of disbelief quite gradually though. At first there are fairly innocent quotations from various scientists and other professionals, ones that say things like, “at a molecular level, no organism is ‘ancestral’ or ‘primitive’”. You can sort of accept this. You can even listen to additional commentary through ancient, wooden speakers that you hold to your ear. Very steam-punk. It begins to get a bit silly by the second (and last) corridor; for example, “Evolution is a fairy tale for grownups. This theory has helped nothing in the progress of science. It is useless.” And, rather shocking to tell the

Life & Style Reviews...

truth: a gravestone with a silhouette of Darwin stuck to the top, with the inscription, “Here lies the theory of evolution – RIP”. I took a picture of that and took no notice of it really. What perhaps will annoy you, as it did me, is that in no museum dedicated to the normally accepted state of affairs (that the Earth is millions of years old, etc) is there a gravestone saying “Here Lies God – RIP”. It seemed to me that, while regular Science permits you to believe whatever else you want to believe beside Science, Creation Science does not permit any other belief apart from Creationism. The whole museum was vague. All quotations seemed to be taken out of context from random sources. They even quoted Darwin in such a way that he contradicted himself. The ‘video room’ was just that. A room with some chairs and a television, blaring out something about the earth and its conditions being just right for life, and how can that be simply chance? It has a wow-factor that may bowl you over. I can stand at one side of a room and throw a thousand screwed-up bits of paper at a bin ten feet away – it isn’t “Intelligent Design” that I am able to get a few in. It’s just chance. Leaving un-wowed from the modest video room, the gift shop was surprisingly more orientated towards natural history than religious history. Except, of course, for the wall of books, with titles like: “Has Darwin Had His Day?”, “Sinking Sands of Evolution Theory”, “Responding to the Challenge of Evolution”, “In the Beginning God Created...”, and so on. It wasn’t the theory itself that annoyed me; it was the vagueness, the lack of concrete proof, the book titles, and the unswerving attack on evolution. The Natural History Museum, I am quite certain, doesn’t try to disprove or even put down the beliefs of Creationists, so why do Creationists have to retaliate in such a harsh way? There is something disappointingly desperate about the whole idea which makes me think that it isn’t true. On the other hand, the Genesis Expo is free to visit. I wouldn’t recommend it. I don’t even know if there is sufficient room, or even sufficient need, for a creationist museum in England. If anything, it adds a quirk to the area around The Hard, which does make it, in a way, something you should visit. Once.

Chocolate Pot Castle Road, Southsea.

3/5 Katie Packham

As students we are all thinking the same: credit crunch, what credit crunch? We have known for ages what it feels like to be strapped for cash. Whilst everyone else is trying to come to terms with the thought of cutting back, we are always on the look out for new and exciting offers. If you’re fed up of the usual takeaways, a new solution for great, cheap, tasty food is available in the Pompey area. A local sandwich deli, 10 minutes from the library, have just started running one of the cheapest student meal deals around. The Chocolate Pot on Castle Road, Southsea, offers students a freshly made baguette with a choice of filling (such as sweet chilli chicken, tuna sweetcorn, egg and bacon and coronation chicken), a packet of crisps and a drink all of your choice, for just £1.99! This is a healthier alternative to the usual takeaway menu and it is delivered free to your door, up until 10pm daily. The staff are friendly and the service is quick. Give it a try and see what you think. Check out the Facebook group and see the reviews!

Truffles Castle Road, Southsea Katie Packham

If you’re looking for a nice meal out, but don’t want to the pay the price for exquisite cuisine, then look no further then Truffles, the Spanish restaurant situated on Castle Road in Southsea. This small, classy restaurant offers an all-you-can-eat tapas buffet for only £8 Monday to Saturday. The food is cooked fresh and you can request your choice of dish. This offer is available all day, for either a romantic night out or for lunching with your friends! As the restaurant is small, it may be best to book before.

Life & Style » Trivia

Life & Style » Volunteering

You learn something new every fortnight

Volunteering at the King’s Theatre

1.

Katie Packham

2.

3.

4.

The Wright Brothers were very unlikely candidates for the pioneers of flight; neither of them had any formal training, and before their entry into history they were the owners of a bike shop! Sadly, William Tell was Dutch rather than English. And completely fictional, but when has that stopped Superman? A front page of the New York Times in August 1945 read "No radioactivity in Hiroshima". Don't always trust what you read. There is an entire city underneath Beijing. Called “Dixia Cheung”, it

was constructed under Chairman Mao and can house 300,000 people for four months. Once it was a fallout shelter, now it’s a tourist site - and the Chinese aren't allowed in! 5.

6.

Unlike London or Paris, Tokyo has only been the capital of its country for a very short time. Until 1868 it was called “Edo” and was little more than a fishing village. During WWII, more Japanese were killed by allied air raids in a single night of bombing than British people during the whole of the Blitz.

I am a student currently volunteering at the King’s Theatre, and here I outline what’s going on there in the upcoming months and what other volunteering opportunities are available. The King’s Theatre on Albert Road, Southsea, is offering all students cheap theatre tickets in the next few months, as an alternative night out to the usual pubs and clubs. The theatre hosts a range of productions, from musicals to plays and even comedy nights. Stepping inside the building is like stepping back in time, as the theatre has just been re-

furbished back to its original Edwardian décor. But that does not mean that the shows are not modern. Some of the shows coming to the King’s Theatre in the future include: the Reduced Shakespeare Company, “Totally Looped” and “Circus of Horrors”. You can find out more information on their website: kingstheatre. com

All tickets are available to students for just £10, and can be purchased from the box office or on the website. The theatre does not just offer great entertainment, but also placements and volunteering work within marketing, PR and media. The King’s Theatre is always on the lookout for volunteers, whether you’re looking for

a placement in public relations or you simply want to help backstage. Many art students have even used the King’s refurbishment project as dissertation pieces. At the moment there are great opportunities within the PR and marketing teams, as there is always a need to bring in new audiences and new ways to advertise. For further information, pop in to the King’s Theatre or contact Purple Door. Volunteering is something that all student should consider in this day and age, as it bulks up your CV and helps you network and gather skills. These days a degree is rarely enough to guarantee employment, and opportunities like this are not to be missed.


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Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

Life & Style

How to pull

Elke Morice-Atkinson Life & Style Editor

Before I moved to England, all the way from Australia, I had never heard the expression ‘pulling’ before. So, when my friend asked me if I had pulled some random I was talking to back in First Year, I replied, “Yes, I got his number.” She looked at me like I was from another planet and said, “That’s not what I meant.” Clearly, I was going wrong somewhere. You don’t ‘pull’ someone just by having a quick chat, a bit of a grope and then exchanging phone numbers as I originally thought, because, in Australia, that’s basically what it means. Oh no, in England you haven’t pulled anyone until you’ve had a chat, bought them a drink, had a bit of a grope on the dance floor and then had a full on tongue-pash (that’s Aussie slang for kiss). Going by Australian standards, I was doing alright getting a phone number. Apparently not. In the Valentine’s Day wake, which I personally believe is a day designed to make couples feel stressed and singles feel miserable (hurrah, it’s over), here’s a quick guide to help you in your pulling efforts. First of all, consult your ‘wing man’ (or woman). Everyone has one of these. It’s probably your best mate who’s got the brains and the charm, while you’ve got the looks (or vice versa). Make sure your wing man knows you’re on the pull. Talk tactics and locations. Once you and your wing man are prepared for battle, pick a target. Here’s a hint girls - don’t dance or hang around in big groups, guys will be intimidated. Spread out a little, stand with only a few of your girl-

friends; this makes it easier for a guy to approach you. Once you and your wing man have locked on a target, check out the risk factor. Make sure there are only a few of your target’s friends nearby; it’s easier for your wing man to distract a small group. Also look for potential boyfriends, girlfriends or someone else that’s gotten there first. Make sure your landing is clear. Go in for the kill, but please, don’t use a line. Girls know them all, and so do guys - who do you think we use them on in the first place? Just smile and be yourself. Throw a few sexy smiles and glances your target’s way and wander over, looking as cool as you can. Remember that line from Jerry Maguire, “You had me at hello”? There’s your line, just say hi to your target. Have a bit of a chat. If they’re in fancy dress, ask them what they’re meant to be or what it’s in aid of – you’ll think of something. Make sure your target is receptive. If they’re obviously not interested, understand this and back off. If you’re not sure, keep them talking and give it a bit more time. If you manage to get to the numberswap, get them to type their number into your phone and then call it, so they have yours. This is much easier than trying to shout it in their ear over the noise of a pub or club. After your night out, perhaps text them the next morning; the usual message guys and girls send is something along the lines of “How are you feeling today?” Have a bit of a text chat and then if you think it’s going in the right direction, ask them if they’d like to meet up for a drink. Hey presto! You’ve just pulled.

Life & Style » Holidays

From pier to eternity Chris Spackman

With spring just around the corner, Pugwash News takes a reminiscent look at the classic symbol of the British seaside, and reflects what it means to us in this day and age. Victorian piers were, for decades, the focal point of a summer trip to the British beaches. However, the situation of the pier on the British coast changed somewhat after the 1970s and 1980s, with cheap foreign flights to the Mediterranean proving to be a more attractive holiday option for most. This lead to the closure of many of the country's piers and it seemed that the days of this quintessentially

British symbol were coming to an end. Despite the demise of the pier in recent decades, though, it seems that the plight of the seaside favourite has changed in recent months, with many British tourists expected to holiday at home this year due to the recession. For the best part of a century, the pier was the symbol of the strength of the British seaside holiday. A vacation in a beach resort, such as Portsmouth, would not be complete without a visit to the Pier, where the slot machines, dodgem cars, and arcades were an essential part of the days' activities. In addition, the British pier also stood as dominant reminders of the achievements of Victorian engineers. However, the humble pier has gone

through a sad period of decay. Many British seaside resorts have struggled to compete with the draw of the reliably hot and sunny weather available just a short and relatively inexpensive flight away in the Mediterranean. In addition, the last few years have seen piers fall victims of fire, with Brighton's West Pier and Weston-SuperMare's Pier both being severely damaged by blazes in the recent past. This combination of factors has left many piers on the cusp of oblivion. But now the demise of the British seaside holiday towns and their piers looks set to reverse. In January, the Government announced £12 million in grants for its Sea Change programme. In addition, a number of multi-million

pound plans are in development to return piers to their former glory. One of these big money developments is the pier at Weston-Super-Mare, which was ravaged by fire in July last year. This pier is set to be completely rebuilt, providing a clear indication that the pier is still central to the life of the seaside community. Many in the tourism industry are expecting the British seaside holiday to benefit from the current difficulties in the economy and a particularly weak pound. With more people expected to take their vacations closer to home, this could help to boost the local economy of Portsmouth. The city is home to two piers: Clarence Pier, which is unusual as it is wider than it

is long, and South Parade Pier, which is the younger of the two piers and a popular music and events venue. The two piers are central to the seafront, and the beach would look very strange if these much loved structures were forced to be closed down. One cannot imagine visiting Portsmouth seafront without visiting or at least seeing one of these piers. It is therefore a pleasing thing that British piers are experiencing a bit of a reversal in fortunes, and their cheesy amusements will hopefully bring pleasure to many people in the future. More info on Portsmouth’s Piers southparadepier.co.uk clarencepier.co.uk/


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Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

A


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Pugwash News Wednesday 25th February 2009

Arts & Entertainment

Singles

Albums

Skint and Demoralised - This Song Is Definitely Not About You 5/5 Skint and Demoralised marry beats mesmerically with words during their second breakthrough single, “This Song Is Definitely Not About You”. It’s a toxic track title, for sure; that says instantly, play me, please. The classic reverse psychology works a treat, and most listeners certainly won’t be disappointed by what they hear. Here, talking-vocalist Matt Abbott, takes the liberty of narrating monologue-like over the music, only enhancing the record’s overall passionately fresh feeling. He also peppers the track with teenage truisms that ought to resound perfectly with today’s youth. The band’s rise to fame – they’ve already been lauded ‘the Next Big Thing’ in indie music by BBC Radio – is just as impressive. Shortly after forming, the group supported Sheffield’s Reverent and The Makers. It would be churlish to resent them for such early acclaim, stupid to switch off. I, for one, wanted to sing this song all day long. Matt Calmus

Little Joy - No One’s Better Sake

5/5

Ironically, “No One’s Better Sake” is by a band called Little Joy. It’s ironic, because joy is all this single ever streams through the speakers. The sound Fabrizio Moretti, Binki Shapiro and Rodrigo Amarante create is as interesting as the band itself; they make a very talented and super-chilled group. Between them, the trio play ten different instruments. This track demonstrates as much. It develops well, almost swimming in and out of the ears via an unusual reggae-style refrain at the beginning, which subtly returns to frame the chorus. Its melody put me in mind of Jack Johnson, although it is more well layered and textured than other such, similarly-mellow, material. For another glance at Little Joy’s creativity, check the song’s accompanying video: a few interestingly psychedelic fades give way to some neat lighting-centered camera effects. Fun, yet fairly original. Top stuff, in other words. Matt Calmus

The All American Rejects - Hope it Gives You Hell 5/5 Reviewers everywhere call this release, “Hope It Gives You Hell” from the All-American Rejects, pop-rock. But I don’t care. As a whole, it’s a good tune. The record’s commercial feel is tellingly fine-tuned through an obviously renowned label, with some equally balanced lyrics designed, as they do, to bounce and pound repeatedly in the memory. Add to that an unquestionably anthemic quality which builds the song and, voilà, you’ve got a microwaved three-minute mix, ready for massconsumption. Any objections? There’s a somehow less-messy, and so not quite as sporadic, feel to this than most of the Rejects’ past material, perhaps reducing the indie-like feature that first made them popular. Yet, the subtle stylistic shift is just as harmonised and modulated as what went before it. The four-piece are willingly experimenting and the song should translate well live, especially on their current world tour. My advice: listen first, judge later. Matt Calmus

Gig Keane Bourenmouth International Centre Date: 3rd February Chris Mineham

After battling through the snowcovered roads to Bournemouth, the Keane faithful fans and myself were hoping that our efforts to get there would be matched by performance of the band themselves. We needn’t have worried! Tom Chaplin led the band onto the stage and his voice sounded as good as ever. The band kicked off with a few tracks from their first album, Hopes and Fears, which came out in ‘06, stirring up the crowd, who were more than happy to sing along. They

played a good mixture of old hits and tracks from their new album, Perfect Symmetry, all executed with a healthy dose of enthusiasm and passion. The pianist in particular played a blinder! Keane, a band once known as a guitar band without a guitarist, certainly proved they deserve to be one of Britain’s biggest bands. The song “Somewhere Only We Know” was amongst the highlights of the night, along with “Crystal Ball”, and the title track “Perfect Symmetry”, which was accompanied by symmetrical flashing pictures of the band. The encore was an acoustic solo by Chaplin, followed by “Bedshaped”, which got the crowd singing again. All in all a great night and well worth the travel in arctic conditions! Keane have just finished their UK tour, and are set to embark on a North American tour in the next few months, so show no signs of stopping on the road to success.

Random Hand Inhale/Exhale

Rating:

Chris Mineham Ska-metal is a genre of music that is hard to come by. It’s hard to find such bands in the unsigned music scene and even harder to find anything vaguely close in the mainstream, which is overflowing with skinny jean wearing, clean guitar totting bands, who are anything but the independent bands they believe themselves to be. Enter Random Hand, West Yorkshire’s answer to the current bland and boring music scene, with their second al-

Lily Allen - It’s Not Me, It’s You Rating:

Matt Calmus Chav-tastic or true-to-life? Whatever you’ll think of Lilly Allen’s second album, It’s Not Me, It’s You, there’s one thing it definitely is: pure pop. Some question how the London-born singer, whose material could reasonably be classed as an extension of high-schoolstyle bitchin’ on CD, can possibly produce anything at all progressive, or original. Her relative success comes here, though, because she hasn’t changed the tone of her infamously matter-of-fact music, despite claiming

bum, Inhale/Exhale. This album takes off where their debut, Change of Plan left off, and then some. Since their first release they have had a large amount of publicity and support from the local UK punk and metal scene, and this new release shows how they have developed a tighter, catchier, energetic and genuinely passionate sound that is rarely heard. With choruses that could match the intensity of Gallows, and verses in the style of Reel Big Fish, Random Hand have homed in on their sound. The second offering has meant that vocalist Rob Leitch has been able to make more use of his trombone skills and they have crafted songs that show they can be the saviours of talented English bands. Hotly tipped to be following closely

on the trail of London ska-punks, The King Blues, Inhale/Exhale has songs such as “For Roni” and “Anger Management” to have fans singing along to at any venue that welcomes these West Yorkshire lads.

to have found a “new direction.” Allen’s songs dress the old subjectmatters of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll – popularised by Ian Dury’s 1970s record of the same title – in a more mainstream, plastic-pop guise. Predictable, yes, but look at the charts. Allen’s first release, “The Fear”, which one blogger called “her first proper song”, instantly shot straight to UK Number One. How much you as an individual appreciate this latest collection really depends on how far you expect Allen’s melodies to have changed since debut compilation Alright, Still. Roughly, a map of the latest content runs: drugs, fame, sex, sex / relationships, relationships, relationships... times ten tracks. That Allen jumps from victimised to vengeful with each recording does help maintain listener interest. But if you really think you’ve heard it all before, it’s because you

may well have – demos of almost the entire album have been available online since summertime. Not only that; the chorus for “Who’d Have Known” is almost an exact beat-for-beat replica of “Shine” by Take That. As for Lilly? She’s alright, if not mind-blowingly brilliant. Still.

It starts off with a bunch of ‘teens’, played by people well past their teenage years, setting up camp in the woods for a weekend of beer, sex and drugs. Of course flesh begins to show and this is usually an indicator in the horror genre that you’re going to die, very messily indeed. Jason never fails to disappoint. However instead of killing one of the girls, he decides to kidnap her and keep her in his morbid underground basement, as she bears striking resemblance to his dead mother. Flash forward six weeks and the brother of this girl is looking around Crystal Lake for his presumably dead sister. Along

with him are a fresh set of campers who just wanted a weekend of sex and beer, but end up getting trapped in a house where Jason stalks them one by one. Overall, the movie is good, if you want to see naked teens get slaughtered in many different and amusing ways, but I felt it lacked something. Too predictable? Not enough story? Rob Zombie rebooted the Halloween genre and made Mike Myers scary again. Marcus Nispel I think has failed to reboot the series as it really isn’t scary enough. But, for mindless fun and unrealistic endings, this is a good one.

can. If you’ve seen Moran’s other acts, , then you’ll be well prepared. No one does the angry bewildered child act quite like Dylan; he mixes the introspective, deep thoughtful contemplation of big topics with manic non-sequiturs and the absurd with aplomb. Anyone who has seen Black Books will recognise the rambling, drunkard style of this zany Irishman, who began doing a stand up act in ’92. The big topics of his comic inspiration will be familiar to some of you though; companionship, happiness, children and the immense difference between men and women. If

this sounds old hat to you, then you haven’t seen Moran in action. It’s not just what he’s saying, but how he’s saying it. The glass of wine he constantly holds helps him pull off the stage persona of a mildly drunk, eccentric philosopher who just wants the world to make sense in a simple way. At least I think it’s just an act. But anyway, this is another strong outing from a comedian who hits the comedy circuit only once a blue moon. The only downsides really are that it’s not entirely fresh subject matter (if all new material), and audience interaction has no place in his rambling.

Film Friday the 13th Rating: Duane Bryars

Set 30 years after the original film, this Michael Bay movie springs back into life with the same blood, gore and thrills as ever before. Jason Voorhees, the deformed son of a psycho woman, is still stalking the woods around Crystal Lake and seems to still get kicks out of killing amongest others jocks and half naked cheerleaders.

Comedy Dylan Moran Guildhall 6th February Rating: William Hobson

The star of Black Books has a new act on tour this year and though you missed your local chance, I recommend you catch up with him further down the leg or in the future if you


18

Purple Wednesdays Wednesday 25th February 2009

Sports

Behind the Scenes with the...

AU Exec

This good looking bunch are the representatives of your AU. We thought you might like to get to know them a little better... Name: Elaina Sperring Role: AU Chair Comment: Elaina is a trustee as well as AU Chair and seems to be involved in every sporting aspect of the entire uni! Will only ever be seen drinking or debating! Name: Rob Knott Role: Tour Exec Comment: Be very nice to this man, he is taking you to Spain! Rob is president of the swim team too so we all know how he’s getting back if the coaches fill up! Name: Simon Joyce Role: Participation Exec Comment: As President of the footy team Joycey has chased more balls around Portsmouth than anyone else. If you want to get involved in sport, find this man! Name: Kate Hyder Role: Publicity Exec Comment: As a member of the cheerleading club Kate is used to shouting about things which helps her promote the AU events! Go and tell her cheerleadings not a sport... Name: Lucy Henry Role: Media Exec Comment: Lucy is a keen photographer and most of you will have stripped off in front of her for the naked calendar! She also looks after the AU website. Name: Chris Hewett Role: Media Exec Comment: Chewit as he is known to most helps put together this very sports section. Often sends pestering emails for content and loves the purple stuff on a wednesday night.

Sport » Canoe

Canoe trip Liam Angell

Let’s set the mood; it was a happy Friday afternoon, everyone had turned up wide-eyed and twitching in excitement...well, that may have just been me. The Freshers worked as a team alongside some of the longer serving member’s and finally managed to ensure that every single club boat and every bit of club kit got loaded into and onto the van. Then we were off – heading to the river Dart, located in Devon. This was one of the first Scumbagz or the university’s canoe club’s trips. Some say it takes just over two hours to get to the Dart; well, you

would be mistaken when travelling with ‘the Scumbagz’ and our navigation skills - it took us quite a bit longer! Despite this, the journey flew by, helped by playing a few games and finding out some interesting secrets from a few rounds of “Never Have I Ever” with the Freshers. The camp site for the trip was a member’s house - she did not know what she had let herself into, letting twenty-odd Scumbagz stay round for the weekend. After shot-gunning all the spare beds, the weekend had officially begun. The water level was pretty low on our first day, but that didn’t stop us, with all the boats getting on the river. The paddling was good. The Dart has

many features, all with interesting names: “The Washing Machine”, “Triple Step” and “Lovers Gorge”. “The Washing Machine” is where the river turns 90 degrees right; this forms a large circulating flow of water during the turn, just like a washing machine. “Triple Step” is three drops in a row, ranging from four to six foot, which is good fun to paddle down. “Lovers Gorge” is just a large single drop, to get the heart pumping. But don’t be put off by these features, as safety does come first with the club and all those paddling had not only been trained and briefed but with plenty of more experienced paddlers around. Many of our Freshers however are

first time paddlers, so every beginner gets an experienced paddler buddy. The experience paddler helps to teach the beginner, shows them the right lines to take down the rapids and helps them out if they go over, so everyone has a fun time and a turn on the river. This not only gets everyone along the river safely but means some budding little friendships spark up. Even after a little rain overnight the water level was still low on our second day, but that did not dampen the hardcore spirits of some of the Scumbagz, as we set off down the river again. After having a play on all the features that we had found so far, our President and a couple of others fan-

cied taking it up a gear by doing a seal launch. For those that do not know this is where the river runs past a sloping rock face, and you slide down the face of the rock into the river. As he and others soon found out, it leaves a sting on your bum when you slap off the river. Soon enough, it was time to leave the Dart and get back into warm clothes. We packed all the boats and kit back into our van and headed home. If you are interested in kayaking, no matter what your ability, check out our website scumbagz.net or our Facebook group – come and join us on our next trip.


19

Purple Wednesdays Wednesday 25th February 2009

Sports

Lacrosse win at Warwick University of Portsmouth Warwick

16 1

Rachael Penycate

A weakened Pompey Lacrosse Team left for Warwick on Valentines Day, leaving behind a number of key players, who were forced to stay behind at the request of their ladies - whipped! Prior to this game, the Mens’ Firsts had suffered four successive losses; confidence wasn't exactly soaring, but the boys were still enthusiastic and well up for the challenge. The first quarter saw Warwick dominating the majority of play, but some tight defensive work on Portsmouth's part ensured that they were unable to create any notable shooting opportunities. This great team work allowed Portsmouth to win a ground ball and finish a flowing move with a goal. The initial lead ignited a sense of enthusiasm for the boys, and the tone of the game was set. Without either of their main cen-

tres, the responsibility was shared by Ben Endley and Jack Williams, both of whom were later commended for their performances by Vice Captain, Liam O'Mahoney. They were able to win the face offs on most occasions, meaning that Warwick's great level of skill in retaining the ball was put under threat when they couldn't win the face offs effectively. Luckily, this tactic proved useful, and allowed Pompey to regain their confidence, especially with the defence unit, who were once again proving amazingly difficult to break through. Paul Nash was impressive both in defense and going forward. Making his lacrosse debut, he even provided a goal assist for Williams. Once Pompey got going, it was hard for Warwick to stop them - the goals kept on coming, including three from Wez Morris, returning to attack for the first time this season. However the same could not be said of Carl Joyce, who left his teammates stunned after missing what was quite possibly the easiest goal on record: as

O'Mahoney puts it, "he caught the ball un-pressured, in front of the goal, and hesitated, giving him time to scratch his balls, eat a few pies and tie his shoelaces before throwing the ball well wide of the goal". Oh dear Carl! Thankfully, despite Joyce's mishap, our boys ended up winning the game comfortably, ending the game with a 16-1 win, leaving them at an impressive fourth place in the SEMLA league. One more incident of note is the Warwick team bizarrely claiming a last minute goal despite the ball clearly having been shot from behind goal and finding its way through a hole in the side netting! Sadly, the same success cannot be reported for the Lacrosse Ladies, who traveled for three hours to Exeter for the first round of the BUCS Cup, only to be beaten by the skillful Exeter Seconds, with an undisclosed loss. Never mind, girls, we had the thought of MC Margo and DJ Clive in our minds! Sticks up, look sharp, and bring on Varsity!

Bats, balls and talent filled halls Chris Hewett

An early start meant that most of the participants in this year's Cricket Intamural tournament turned up looking like the cast of Trainspotting. Undeterred by this, however, the University's cricketers arrived in their tens to support what would inevitably be a glory-soaked advert for top quality cricket. Entering the tournament were two girls’ teams, three mens’ teams and a team of “outsiders”, who everyone assumed were from the Badminton Club. As the format of the tournament was read out to a nervous group of players and fans, the backdrop of the Nuffield Sports hall provided a tempting glimpse of what was about to take place. First up were the girls’ Firsts against the Badminton team. Quality is not often a word used to describe the girls’ cricket team and this reporter certainly isn't going to start using it now. Despite this, both teams were taking the tournament very seriously indeed, and what the match lacked in talent, skill and tactics, it sure made up for with determination and perseverance; a true demonstration that anything is possible if the will is there. Unfortu-

nately, by the end of the first match the will had left a lot of the spectators, and so it was with great joy that the First and Second Mens’ teams took to the hall. The first team, led by Dan Hewitt, proved to be a bit of a mish-mash. Regardless of this, the game got underway and some tight bowling from the First team put the Seconds right on the back foot. In reply to the Second's respectable score of 54, the Firsts made a good start. Dan Hewitt quickly found his form against some slack Seconds bowling, and before long, the inevitable moment arrived, as the winning runs were secured by a jubilant First team. The Womens’ Seconds then took on the Mens’ Firsts. This was a tough fixture against a First team brimming with confidence on the back of their win against the two's. In the interest of fair play and decency, the First team were going to reverse their batting order to give the girls a chance. Unfortunately for the girls though, they hadn't counted on ‘Mr Competitive’, Dan Hewitt disregarding any ounce of sportsmanship left in him and opening the batting with our two best players. As the girls looped the ball down the track, our First Team Skipper sent it crashing back against the back wall

with so much force some thought he was trying to tunnel out. Alas it was to prove too strong a test for the girls, who did a great job of salvaging their dignity, with some excellent shots and good running between the wickets. The Mens’ Seconds then played the Mens’ Thirds. The threes opened the bowling and gave the twos a great run for their money, with Mr Maroon producing one of the moments of the day. As Dan Brooks took some air shots at some fine bowling by Shane Cooper, Mr Maroon stepped up to the plate. His first ball of the day sent Brooksy's middle stump crashing out of the ground in spectacular fashion to riotous applause from the on-looking crowd. It did not prove to be enough however, as a strong fight back from the two's meant that they claimed their victory in a very close game. As the final match drew to a close, the unbeaten first team were declared the winners and the medals and trophies were presented to the teams by the Nuffield staff. Despite their victory, the First team were all in agreement that Cricket was the real winner of the day, although, as the Skipper left the hall with a massive trophy in his hand, it was pretty clear he didn't feel the same way.

This week its salt water vs fresh water, as the surfers take on the wakeboarders.

Name: James Pepper Club: Wakeboarding

Name: Annie Laurie Club: Surf Club

What has been your worst sporting moment at university? Me and Teddy being stuck in a room with Bryan and Cooper and some girl...

What has been your worst sporting moment at university? My near fatal attempt at skim-boarding on last year’s Portugal trip, leaving my ankle with a lifelong ouchie

What has been your best sporting moment at university? Finishing Runners Up at Wakeboard Nationals ‘08

What has been your best sporting moment at university? Managing to surf in Portsmouth was pretty spectacular (probably a lot less spectacular if you’d seen the size though)

When was your last walk of shame? Last week some time...

When was your last walk of shame? My life is one big walk of shame. But, too long ago, boys - I am very much open to all offers!

Who is your favourite sporting hero and why? Tom Murtagh - he proves you don’t have to be athletic to play sport

Who is your favourite sporting hero and why? Ashley Cole, for bedding the lovely Cheryl - mmm

What was your worst Fresher challenge? Snorting tequila, in times before the Union stopped letting us do that!

What was your worst Fresher challenge? Anything physical - I see any drink or food related challenges as a gift, they don’t call me grabby hands for nothing

If you had to marry a famous member of the same sex, who would it be and why? Boris “Goose” Johnson, because he has a butler called Jeeves

If you had to marry a famous member of the same sex, who would it be and why? My all-the-way-gay list is endless, but anyone who knows me knows the top spot is definitely Cheryl Cole! Mmm -hmmmm

If you could be in any other club, which would it be? Dance...

If you could be in any other club, which would it be? Something butch, to help me out of the closet...

Sport » Cricket

Sport » Editorial

UPCC take on Winchester

Sub Editors Note...

Mark Lazenby

University of Portsmouth Cricket Club (UPCC) Thirds took nine players to Winchester Uni to play their First Team in three indoor twelve-over matches, in preparation for the start of the new season. Gavin Pearce won the toss, and put Winchester in to bat in the first game. After a slow start due to some tidy bowling, Winchester stumbled to 108 off their twelve-overs. In response, UPCC started off slowly, but they increased the run rate towards the end, with Gary Martins top scoring with 27, well supported by Ross Basketter with 25, as we finished 10 runs short.

In the second game we bat first and, learning from the first game, we were able to post 108 on the board. The UPCC bowlers then contained Winchester to 95 to win the match, with some brilliant fielding and great wicket keeping by Stephen Barnes supporting a much better bowling performance, led by Rob Chaffin, and there was a wicket for the skipper as well! This levelled the tie at 1-1 The third game saw the decider for the tournament. UPCC won the toss and decided to bat again. With a few wickets falling quickly, the last two wicket partnerships between Dan Perris, Mark Lazenby and Chris Bonser (top scoring, with 42) were vital for the UPCC bowlers to have something

to bowl at. Taking regular wickets hampered the run rate for Winchester, but they crawled over the finish line with seven balls left, with only one wicket remaining, meaning that we lost the day 2-1 overall. This left us with all evening/night to get into their union and have a drink with the opposition. It was a great day out, even though we had lost, and we look forward to turning the result around when we play them again in a few weeks. Cricket also had an Intra-Mural tournoment recently, which you can read about on page 14, and will be present at Varsity this weekend (see insert).All in all it is a busy time of year for UPCC.

Chris Hewett

As the winter season draws to a close, many of you will be wondering what you can do with yourselves on Wednesday afternoons. It has been a good year for our winter sports, with many teams winning their respective leagues and the development of target sport clubs. It is with great anticipation however that the summer sports can begin. The cricket team will be getting under way immediately after the Easter break, probably with a slight headache after the upcoming trip to Spain. Rather than sit about in your living room every summer Wednesday,

why not get involved and either join or support UPCC! The sporting calendar doesn’t slow down throughout the summer with a Varsity planned against the Navy coming up. With this in mind, there’s never been a better time to join a club. Late is better than never so don’t be dispirited if you haven’t participated in anything yet. Almost all of the clubs will be happy to take on more members and its a great way to socialise throughout the summer and get yourself in shape. Those interested in joining the cricket team should contact Chris Hewett at chris.hewett@upsu.net.


Boxers take their success international

Wayne Gardiner

Eight boxers won six medals at the International invitational Skarnes Cup, held in Norway on Feb 13 – 15. With six inches of snow everywhere, and the temperature at -7 during the day, and -12 during the night, there was little room to travel around and see the sights. But the local governing body did look after us well and our accommodation was second to none. Out of all our boxers only seven competed, due to James Connor injuring his foot earlier in the week prior to flying out. Our success was evident at the start of the first day, with Fresher Becky Rigby having a straight final against a local Pors ABC boxer. Becky gave away two kilos in weight for this bout,

P WDL

but did not show it. Every round consisted of Becky landing solid scoring shots from head to body, so much so that in the third round Becky landed a thrashing rear hand straight into the belly of the Norwegian boxer, making her actually throw up in the corner of the boxing ring. Becky was deservedly awarded the gold medal and has certainly secured her place on the Portsmouth University Team to represent us at the BUCS Championships. Matt "The Whirlwind" Wilcock, who has been a predominate figure in the squad this year, also gave away a couple of kilos in weight, but handled it in his stride. Stride being the precise word; Matt’s movement and swift of feet make him a very hard boxer to land punches on. He floated around the ring, landing punches almost at will whilst his opponent trudged forward, getting even more heated.

Matt walked away with the gold medal. Matt's performance this year has rightly earned him the honour of Captaining the team at the BUCS National Championships in Sheffield. Mark Coombs meanwhile was completely up against it before he even got into the ring, going against last year’s Norwegian Gold Medallist, we knew he would have to perform. It turns out Mark was in the form of his life - using speed, movement and sharp power, he kept edging each round. Landing telling shots and making the game of boxing look easy, his performance was one that his coach described as "the best I've ever seen from you." After winning the gold, Mark was then awarded Best Senior Boxer of the Championships and this still was not enough. Mark was further awarded Best Overall Boxer of the whole championship, gaining himself so many tro-

phies and medals he had to pay excess baggage on the way home! Three other boxers gained silver medals – Mick O’Sullivan lost out to a bad decision instead of a good opponent, but very much enjoyed himself as usual. David Hickey also took a silver medal eventually, being bettered by a slightly taller and faster opponent. P Koumouros took a silver at 64kg, but was outclassed in the final. Hish Al-abadey scored a draw in the semi finals, at 13-13 on the judges scorecard, ending with a loss at 27-26 on a count back. This was a very even bout and somebody had to win. Coaches’ Comment: Any coach would be proud of six medals from seven boxers at an invitational international championships – I am, and hope that the boxing club’s continuing success is actually rewarded at the end of the year.

Rugby Union Women’s 1st Golf 1st Netball 1st Hockey Men’s 1st Squash Men’s 2nd Netball 4th Hockey Women’s 2nd Hockey Mixed 1s SESSA Football Men’s 6th Lacrosse Men’s 1st Basketball Women’s 1st Squash Men’s 1st Hockey Women’s 1st Football Women’s 1st Football Men’s 3rd Football Men’s 2nd Football Men’s 4th Netball 3rd Tennis Men’s 2nd Hockey Men’s 4th Badminton Women’s 1st Football Men’s 1st Rugby Union Men’s 2nd Hockey Men’s 3rd Football Men’s 5th Rugby Union Men’s 4th Netball 5th Volleyball Men’s 1st Netball 6th Hockey Men’s 2nd Rugby Union 1st XV SESSA Netball 2nd Basketball Men’s 1st Squash Men’s 3rd Rugby Union Men’s 1st Rugby Union Men’s 3rd Hockey Women’s 3rd Football Women’s 2nd Badminton Men’s 1st Lacrosse 1st Badminton Men’s 2nd Hockey Men’s 5th Tennis Men’s 1st Basketball Men’s 2nd Fencing Women’s 1st Fencing Men’s 1st

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Sport » Netball

Sport » Swimming

Write for PWs

Netball club do their part

For the love of Swim Team

PWs needs your club news!

Ben Endley

When many people think of sportos, drunken antics seem to come to mind. But several members of the Netball Club have been trying to buck that trend and do their bit to raise money for charity. Five members of the University netball side volunteered to help out with the umpiring of the Primary School’s Mixed High 5’s Netball Tornament in January. The girls involved were Beth O’Neill, Gaby Johnson, Kaly Smith, Hayley Archibald and Niki Wakefield. The event was hosted in Portsmouth’s own Mountbatten Centr,e and attracted a number of kids with varying levels of experience.

Despite being long and tiring, the day was enjoyed by all and was definitely worthwhile. This follows on from the club’s volunteer umpiring of the English College Championships in December; the Netball Club is also one of the most involved in helping out different charities, as well as being one of the largest clubs in the AU. Vice president Gaby Johnson commented: “The Portsmouth Primary School High 5’s Netball Tournament went really well and was enjoyed by all of the teams who entered. This event, as well umpiring...in December, allowed us to further our experience as umpires, as well as allowing the children to play fun, competitive netball.”

Sophie Castle

The Pompey Swim Team had a romantic Valentine’s weekend in Sheffield, competing in the British University and College Sports Long Course National Championships. Fueled by too much energy drink Monster, the team travelled up to Sheffield on Friday for the freestyle relay heats. The boys team made it through to the B Final on the Saturday, in which they placed 6th, which was admirable. The Saturday morning saw decent swims from Swim Team Fresher’s Adrian “Hangers” Bird in the 200m

freestyle, and Emily Walker, who performed very well in the individual 50m backstroke, narrowly missing out on a place in the final. The boy’s medley relay team also made the B Final and placed 2nd, easily beating the Southampton Scummers by about four seconds! Mark Williamson and Mariesa Picknell made finals in the breaststroke events and earned vital points for the whole team. With such a high standard competition, including Olympic and Commonwealth swimmers, the team did very well to make finals and make such an impressive mark and will hopefully kick their energy drink addiction soon!

...and features, and photos, and socials, and anything else you want to tell us about your club! It’s easy to get a mention in PWs - just e-mail everything to sportnews@upsu.net, visit www.upsu.net/newsdesk, or come in to the Sabb Office at the Union and have a chat with us any time! For more information, see: upsu.net/p/2166


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