Pugwash News - Issue 05 by Tom Worman

Student Discovers Dinosaur A University of Portsmouth student has discovered a new type of dinosaur. Mike Taylor, a PhD student in the School of Earth and Environmental Sciences discovered the dinosaur in one of the store rooms at the Natural History Museum in London. Taylor was at the museum to continue his research when he noticed that a bone did not match the type of dinosaur that it was listed as. The palaeontologist said that the particular bone “leapt out at [him] as being different”. On closer inspection the student, who has studied that particular type of bone for the past five years, discovered that not only was the bone from a different species of dinosaur but from a totally new family type. The bone was last examined over one hundred years ago and it was then that it was misidentified. The bone was originally discovered in Sussex in the Hastings area. The area is well known as as a hunting ground for dinosaur bones although the exact location the bone was recovered from has been lost. The discovery was made from the identification of a single bone. The bone was a part of the creature’s hip and would have been one of a dozen on either side. This one broken hip bone has led the scientist to believe

Issue 5 Wednesday 28.11.07 upsu.net/news

Portsmouth’s official student newspaper

Toru Watanabe

pugwash news

Inside... NEWS Books or no books, Have you got some? NewsBites, & a murderer. Pages 2 - 3

FEATURES Englishman in France, Meet the partner, Student Radio, & Pure FM.

that the newly discovered creature would have weighed about seven and a half tonnes and been about twenty metres long. The dinosaur would be comparable in size and weight to twelve elephants.

Pages 4 - 7

REVIEWS

“

forward-sloping alien earthquake god

Dr Paul Barret from the Natural History Museum’s palentology department explained 'We have thousands of dinosaur specimens in our collection’. He continued to explain that although they have all been examined, advances in technology and continued examination can lead to all sorts of new and exciting developments. The dinosaur, named a Xenoposeidon Proneneukus, would have roamed the earth about one hundred and forty million years ago. The name given to the dinosaur means roughly “forward-sloping alien earthquake god”. Taylor’s full paper regarding the dinosaur finding will be available in the journal Palaeontology in November.

Watch out; the dinosaurs are back, and they are coming for you!

Union Council Jacob Leverett

members of societies or clubs” because it was believed that this could lead to a conflict of loyalties. The second aim of the motion was “to prohibit sabbatical officers from taking Wednesday afternoons off, unless it is agreed holiday time, to ensure that officers are present when students need them.” The debate that surrounded this motion had many sportos on a defensive back foot. The arguments surrounded the relationship between Sabbs and students, with some believing that the best way for Sabbs to relate to students was to play sport or take part in activities with them. Others believed that this was beneficial for that small minority of the sports clubs, but left the rest

The LastFM chart, 30 Days of night, Kate Nash, & live gigs. Page 8

SPORTS Boxing round up; we get the full story on the Boxing Club’s home show.

For images and more information visit: www.miketaylor.org.uk/dino/xeno/ or follow the editor’s suggestion and watch ‘The Land Before Time’

On the 22nd of November, the Union Council voted to reject a motion forcing the University of Portsmouth Student’s Union (UPSU) sabbatical officers to work regular set hours. The motion was put forward by a student of the University who had concerns about the accessibility of sabbaticals to deal with student support issues. The motion focused predominately on the role of Sabbs in relation to clubs and societies and the effect that this membership has on sabbatical working hours. The Union Council voted after a passionate and well attended debate that the motion would not be passed. The motion aimed “to prohibit sabbatical officers from being

continued on page 3

Comment

Campaign

Competition

Charity News

What are your lecturers worth?

S.H.A.G Week

Win a University of Portsmouth hoodie

The AU get naked in Want to write for the name of charity your newspaper?

In a recent survey by the Office of National Statisitcs, it has been shown that on average lecturers are paid £42,000 a year. Wages paid to lecturers has risen by 25% in the past six years. This pay rise is much higher than any other part of the public sector. The current average academics wage is higher than vets, engineers and about £10k more than Further Education lecturers. Do you think this is too much or is the service recieved worth the money? Let us know if you think they are worth it. -JL

The Students’ Union is running a Sexual Health and Guidance (S.H.A.G) Week from 30th November, during which World Aids Day is happening on 1st December. Rates of sexually transmitted diseases are at their highest amongst 16-25 year olds and 1 in 10 students have Chlamydia! There are loads of events taking place during this week; look out for stalls, with plenty of information and advice, as well as a visit from St. Marys Hospital offering free Chlamydia screening on 4th December. -KK

Email: comment@upsu.net

More info: upsu.net/shag

From the top of the Spinnaker Tower, to the middle of a farm yard, the Athletic Union have been busy getting naked for the AU 2008 Naked Calendar. The legendary calendar will go on sale from the Student Union’s reception on Wednesday 28th of November, for just £5. This year it features over 25 different sports teams in the buff around Portsmouth. A perfect Christmas present for all the family, or just an opportunity to chuckle at you and your mates. Get yours now, whilst stocks last. -TW Win Online: http://tinyurl.com/ypgu9k

More info: upsu.net/nakedcalendar

Page 9

...MORE SPORTS Results and Fixtures, Match reports, On the Spot, & Gotchas. Pages 10-12

Calling all students!

Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays is the Union’s student newspaper. If you have something to shout about, from burning issues to match reports, comment to features, or you want to photograph, design or help lay the paper up, get in touch! More info: www.upsu.net/p/2166

Pugwash News

Inbox

News

What’s happening at the Union? Pretty much everything that’s happening at the Union until the end of term - read it or miss out!

November Mon 26th - Fri 30th National Student Sports Survey Want to have your say on sport at the University of Portsmouth? upsu.net/p/2494 Wed 28th: 7.45pm Live sport: Liverpool v Porto In the Waterhole WIN A HOODIE! The Union’s CopyShop is giving away a University of Portsmouth hoodie to one lucky student! upsu.net/p/2489 Wed 28th: 9pm - 2am Purple Wednesdays upsu.net/sociallife Thu 29th Pugwash magazine out now! Available in the Union and around campus with features on Facebook, University of Interesting, tattoos, healthy eating, squatting, Pimp My Housemate, plus reviews with Jimmy Eat World, Kanye West, Mark Ronson, and Halo 3 Download it: upsu.net/news/pugwash/archive Thu 29th - Fri 30th NUS Conference voting The Union will be sending up to twelve delegates to NUS Conference to represent the students of Portsmouth. Your vote, your voice! upsu.net/nusconference Thu 29th: 7.30pm Live sport: Scotland v England! In the Waterhole

Bling out and chav it up. Aiight? upsu.net/sociallife Fri 30th - Tue 11th SHAG week The Students’ Union is running a Sexual Health and Guidance week look out for stalls around campus! upsu.net/diary/event/571.htm

December Sat 1st World AIDS Day worldaidsday.org Sat 1st, 12.30pm Salsa Classes at the Union Two left feet? Come and learn to Salsa! The Street Salsa Society are running a dance workshop, with people of all skills welcome upsu.net/p/2493 Sat 1st: 12.45pm Live: Chelsea v West Ham In the Waterhole Sat 1st: 5.15pm Live: Aston Villa v Arsenal In the Waterhole Sat 1st: 7pm - late Pub Games Night Wii, XBox 360, pool, and darts - free entry! Come on down and chill out with your mates upsu.net/sociallife Mon 3rd - Fri 14th December The Union 12 Days of Christmas begins! Mon 3rd: 7pm - late Bar FTSE Special Xmas Snowball Cocktails on offer all night. Come down for some festive pre-clubbing fun upsu.net/sociallife

Fri 30th: 7.45pm Live sport: 2nd Round In the Waterhole

Tue 4th: 7.30pm The Santa Clause Free Film Night upsu.net/sociallife

Fri 30th: 9pm - 2am Orange Fridays - Chav Night Get your best (fake) Burberry ‘n

Wed 5th: 9pm to 2am Purple Wednesdays’ Black Xmas film special

Grim reaper imprisoned

Books phased out of libraries

upsu.net/sociallife

Jacob Leverett

Franz Lieber

Thu 6th: 12pm Christmas dinners available Come down and get the festivities started early!

A former student of Portsmouth University has been convicted of performing a horrific murder. Adam Thomas, twenty four, had attended the university taking a business studies course before dropping out in his second year. The murder of thirty five year old Sharon Stokes was not the first in a chain of events for Thomas. His reign of terror appears to have included at least one brawl with fellow students and an incident involving an attempt to climb onto the bonnet of a moving van. The accused’s legal team believed he should be prosecuted for manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility. He apparently demanded before the murder that he be locked up, as he was a danger to society. Those that knew Thomas whilst he was a student have described him as a “chav” and that he used to regularly binge drink vast quantities of alcohol. In 2006 Thomas drove his car into the front doors of Barclays Bank in his home town of Exmouth. It has been reported that this was an attempt by Thomas, who was worried about his behaviour, to be imprisoned. The murderer described himself as the "Grim Reaper" to Stokes before beating her to death. He has also been described as suffering from violent fantasies and that this along with excess consumption of alcohol led to a an extreme attack in which Thomas showed no remorse or emotion towards his victim. Thomas also is reported to have attempted suicide in the New Forest and was receiving medication for psychiatric illness and was due an appointment to see a clinical psychiatrist. Thomas has been convicted of brutally murdering Stokes with a brick in the early hours of Valentine's Day after he had met her in a nightclub. Thomas has been jailed for life by Judge Graham Cottle stating that Thomas had "no regret, no remorse, and not a shred of emotion”.

University libraries are disposing of books and traditional texts and resources in an attempt to accommodate more computer suites. Research has shown that British universities are turning their backs on hard copies of texts in preference of supplying more e-learning facilities. On average, 13,600 books are removed from each institution library a year, compared to only 7,000 a year ten years ago. According to official figures, 1.8 million hard copies of journals and books are disposed of every year. The figures are a worrying development for many students who prefer paper-based accounts and those that have difficulties with using computers. Disposing of books from university libraries is not the first attack on the printed volume: the closure of many local libraries has led to universities being one of the few guardians of the printed press.

www.upsu.net/diary

Fri 7th: 9pm - 2am Frosty (Orange) Fridays - WIN A SMIRNOFF SNOWBOARD! upsu.net/sociallife Sat 8th: 7pm - late Pub Games Night Wii, XBox 360, pool, and darts. upsu.net/sociallife Sun 9th: 8pm - 11pm Pub Quiz! Entry £1 - bring your mates and be in with a chance to win a minute behind the bar upsu.net/sociallife Mon 10th: 7pm - 8pm University Carol Service St. John’s RC Cathedral: all students and staff are invited to attend upsu.net/p/2479 Mon 10th: 7pm - late Bar FTSE On special offer: Bulmers cider upsu.net/sociallife Tue 11th: 7.30pm THE SIMPSONS MOVIE A very special free film night - see you there! upsu.net/sociallife Wed 12th: 9pm to 2am Purple Wednesdays upsu.net/sociallife Thu 13th: 4pm - 5pm Union Council Every student’s chance to have their say on how the Union is being run! upsu.net/unioncouncil Fri 14th: 9pm to 2am Orange Fridays Christmas Cracker It’s a cracker... Come down to the Union for the last night of the year at Uni and see the term out in the messiest way possible. upsu.net/sociallife

“Small print”

Contacting us

Editorial Team

Contributors

Produced fortnightly by the University of Portsmouth Students’ Union (UPSU). Printed by Quotemeprint www.quotemeprint.com, 0845 130 0667, and now printed on 100% recycled paper - Swampy, rejoice! Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays bears no allegiance to any political party and discriminates against no-one.

To get in touch with the Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays team, please visit www.upsu.net/newsdesk, e-mail us at newsdesk@upsu.net, call us via the Union’s Media & Publications Officer at 023 9284 3657, or visit us at The Student Centre, Portsmouth Students’ Union, Cambridge Road, Portsmouth, Hampshire, PO1 2EF.

Editors

Thanks for this issue go to:

Editor: Laura Patricia News Editor: Jacob Leverett Design Editor: Tom Worman Features Editor: Chris Burden Sports Editor: Tim Edwards Reviews Editor: Aakash Naik Web Editor: Luke Simmonds

Matt Blackall, Will Byars, Ana Docherty, Stacey Doran, Maz Elsahhar, Wayne Gardiner, Elle Gray, Alex Harries, Konstantinos "The Dog" Karantzis, Kat King, Rob Knott, Simon "Darby" Leach, Tiffany Lee, Jenny Leggot, Franz Lieber, Marisa May, Alex Milligan, James Neligan, Nicholas Parker, Toru Watanabe and Tom West.

Sub Editors

Errors & omissions: while we take every care to verify our content, we may occasionally make mistakes. Please contact us using the details above to report any inaccuracies or mistakes.

13,600 books are removed from each institution library a year

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The move away from physical books has angered some academics, who raise questions about eyestraining difficulties whilst using eresources. The diminishing number of books also makes browsing for texts a more difficult process. The University of Portsmouth Library, conversely, purchases about 14,000 new publications a year. University librarian, Ian Bonar, explained that, “We only dispose of out of date, superseded editions or books in poor physical condition.” The University of Portsmouth also offer some books set for disposal to students for free or at discounted prices. More Info: www.port.ac.uk/library/

Time Wasting

Pugwash news & Purple Wednesdays

Competition Result: Just to prove that we are not involved in scams like some television channels, Sarah studying Dental Hygiene & Therapy won our Moosh Pillow.

Wednesday 28th November 2007

Design: Andy Donohoe, Kev Wilkins Features: Steph Hall, Matt Blackall, Nicholas Prangnell Reviews: Tallie Kane, Ed Butterfield Sports: Peppa Barnett, Marisa May

Also, anyone we’ve forgotten, and the special people in our world... Fraggy, Alex H, John & Stuart on security and the pizza people.

Mini Sudoku

Pugwash News

Wednesday 28th November 2007

News

Union Council Continues

The ‘C Word’ Have you got On campus News Bites some ? with the BNP

continued from page 1

Tallie Kane

Ana Doherty

of the student populous with little representation. Although this motion was not designed to be against just sports clubs the debate focused mainly on them, ignoring any similar debates surrounding societies. The questions being asked visibly upset some members of the council; some believed that the motion was offensive to the long and hard hours that the team do put in, although this was not the aim of the motion. The motion did not question that many Sabbaticals work above and beyond the hours. Its primary intention was to insure that support staff are available at a time when it is guaranteed that students will not be attending classes. Through the debate, questions were raised about the privileges of staff. The most worrying defense of the privileges of sabbaticals was offered by both a member of the Union Council and a member of the audience who questioned why, if a sports team campaigned for a particular candidate in the elections, that person cannot now “pay them back”. This shows a potentially dangerous conflict of interest and has unearthed a previously unknown level of political power held by the major sports teams. Although this motion has failed to become part of the UPSU policy it must raise questions about the role, duties and privileges of Sabbatical Officers. These questions must be continually asked as these officials, that we as students pay for and expect to represent us, cannot be left to reign without being held accountable.

The Director of Research at the University of Portsmouth has spoken out about the recent probe into the cost and effectiveness of laboratory research that may hinder the progression of the studies of several types of cancer. Many professionals have drawn attention to research conducted into many cancers may have been scrapped because of the rise in incorrect laboratory procedures, causing mass wastage of the charitable donations that are given to researchers each year. One of the main concerns surrounding labortary procedures has been the us of incorrect samples leading to erroneus results.

New research has shown a worrying increase in Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) in young adults since 2006, highlighting concerns that there should be better ways of educating young people about the necessities of condoms and other protective measures. In the last two years, the number of sexually transmitted diseases diagnosed in 18-24 year olds in the UK has risen by 376,508. Alongside this statistic, there is also the discovery that 2,700 new cases of HIV infection have been uncovered amongst the rest of the population in the same year. It is a worrying figure that one in ten young adults tested positive for chlamydia in 2006, and experts say this rate is gradually increasing. The incidence of herpes and genital warts also statistically increased in 16-19 year olds from 2005 to 2006. These figures emphasise the severe need to educate young people about regular sexual health screenings and the necessity of safe sex and condoms, and to tackle the negative attitudes that young people have about the procedures, which have often been the reason why most were hesitant to visit in the past.

Oxford Student’s Union (OSU) have voted in favour of allowing BNP Leader Nick Griffin, and controversial historian David Irving to speak at the Oxford University Debate Society on Monday, as part of a free-speech event that the Union are holding. This news from OSU has caused mass opposition from the Jewish and Muslim societies, amongst the Union itself, with the co-president of the Oxford Union Jewish Society Stephen Altmann-Richer quoting "I don't think these people should be invited to the Oxford Union, by having them speak, it legitimises their views", whilst also claiming that freedom of speech is an important fact to consider. This choice of speaker has left open re-consideration of the noplatform policy that many Unions, including UPSU, hold in relation to speakers that express views that are politically placed as fascist. At Union Council it was voted that UPSU would give no platform to fascists and those that incite hate, therefore disallowing the two speakers to publicly convey their opinions and put across their political ideology here. The question raised concerns the application of free-speech. Unions vow not to discriminate or to have a particular allegiance to any political party. But it is stated that fascism is a valid political ideology, therefore the rift between a no platform policy and freedom of speech appears. One of the Union’s many roles is to protect impressionable young people against those that preach a message of hate or discrimination against one particular group, but it is argued that by not giving a platform for speech to one party, this could open up the consideration of disallowing other political parties from speaking. Freedom of speech is the concept of being able to speak freely without censorship, and banning one party the freedom to express their political views, no matter how controversial, could be seen to object against this statement.

Read the Union Council archives back dated to 2002 online at: www.upsu.net/unioncouncil/

brain tumour research is extremely poorly funded

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Professor Geoff Pilkington on the BBC’s "On File" programme calls the findings "an incredible frustration, because brain tumour research is extremely poorly funded and it's hard fought money and when we get money into the laboratory we need to produce good strong results, good strong data and we need to report back to those organisations which are mainly charities who are funding our research". Charitable donations fund much of the cancer research and the public are demanding that this money is used correctly. The problem lies in the authentication of cell-lines that determine the type of cancer to be studied, as the misidentification of the subject can lead to research that is unusable, and therefore wasting valuable resources. These findings encourage the need to assess the procedures applied in scientific research, so that valuable funds are not misplaced and eventually thrown away needlessly. More info: http://tinyurl.com/2wpxph

This issue’s recently gleaned knowledge and a bit of our office gossip.

The Pugwash News team are ill // We would like conclusive evidence that people actually read these NewsBites // Cats can be police constables // Twenty-nine per cent of adults on social networking sites have used them to search for ex-boyfriends or girlfriends // Pigs can be stowaways // A 4.5kg hairball was removed from an eighteen year olds stomach // You can be arrested for possessing a hallucinogenic toad // “Unexpected close of file” is really annoying // It is illegal to be drunk on a licensed premises // You can buy 1,494 cans of store-brand baked beans for the price of an iPhone // President Bush has few friends in Australia // Jellyfish are attacking salmon in Northern Ireland // “There is a large amount of evidence that suggests that the overweight live the longest” // Calling the Guardian the Gruniad is not cool anymore // In Germany it is illegal to shave a swastika onto a dog // Your mum is not a News Bite // Cricket balls are going to be pink in future // PlayStation phones could be hitting the shelves within the next three years // We want to order Pugwash Pants // Andy has a third nipple - on his shoulder // IQ tests don't tell you if you're too stupid to know if your flies are done up // Over 100 articles have been added to UPSU.net in the past two weeks // Until recently Britain’s nuclear bombs could be activated using a bicycle lock key // If you have read this far please email us // Our MAPO gets too physically excited over email // Rubbish tips in the UK cover over 100 square miles // Sky News use Facebook to gather news too // Jon Ronson is a funny guy // The best pulling costume is a santa costume // Do doughnut shops have a dress code?

VIP

Title

News

Award for VIP group

Hug a tree, we have a green degree

Pugwash Magazine out now!

The Student Union president Elle Gray awarded the University of Portsmouth Vice-Chancellor John Craven with a 'Green Degree'. The degree awarded was a 'first' and was in credit for the university's work to become a more environmentally friendly institution. The degree was awarded outside the University’s library which itself is seen as an example of the ecofriendly policy that is being honoured. The library’s design included environemental factors such as toilets being flushed with rainwater and the creative use of natural light. Craven stated that "It is great to see

Look out this Wednesday 28th of November, (as well as the release of the Naked Calendar, and this wonderful publication), it is time for this term’s first issue of our sister publication, Pugwash Magazine! This is the first issue that has been created by this year’s Pugwash mag team and we are all very proud of it! A lot of hard work went into creating it and it’s fan-bloody-tastic (if we do say so ourselves!) Available from the all over the university campus, pick one up. It’s free! -CB

VIP (Volunteering in Portsmouth) have been nominated as group award finalists for the National Higher Education Volunteering Awards. These awards “are an opportunity to reward and acknowledge those student and staff volunteers who have shown significant commitment to or exceptional execution of volunteering activities”. The VIP Group were among over one hundred entries from many different universities across the UK for the awards, and their place in the finals reflects their efforts over the past year. Well done and good luck on the 7th of December, when the

final awards ceremony will be held in London! Also, VIP are looking for people to help out with their Santa’s Little Helper Event for disabled children on the 8th of December and OAP Christmas Lunch on the 9th of December. If you are friendly and personable and interested in getting involved in either event email: beth.vip@gmail.com -LP For more information on the awards visit: www.heacademy.ac.uk

the work of so many dedicated people recognised". This is in part a reference to the Union's People and Planet societies lobbying of the university to invest in eco-friendly practices. The university was recently ranked 12th in the country for its environmental credentials in the Green League 2007. The university has achieved much to gain this recognition and as Gray states "The University has a responsibility to lead the way on green issues." The university needs to continue its striving on environmental issues and move further up the Green League for 2008. -JL

More info: upsu.net/pugwash

Pugwash News

Wednesday 28th November 2007

News and Features

Protect the Human Week

New Music Society hold their own

Matt Blackall

James Neligan

In 2004 the British Ambassador to Uzbekistan was removed from his post because of his embarrassment to the British Government. This embarrassment? Becoming “overfocused on human rights to the detriment of wider British interests”. He was outraged with the human rights abuses that he saw going on in a country that is seen to be a friend of the West and an ally in the war on terror. However, after his repeated outbursts revealing the extent of Islom Karimov’s human rights abuses, the Foreign Office removed him from his position. This above example of how the British Government are deliberately covering up human rights abuses can be added to a long line of shameful activities that activists accuse this Government of getting involved in. Added to this list is the torture of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, the expulsion of persecuted asylum seekers and ‘illegal’ wars in the Middle East, to name but a very small few. People & Planet, during Protect The Human Week, attempted to raise awareness of some of these issues. The more observant student would have noticed posters with their human rights printed on them placed around the Union. This tied into a stunt pulled by People & Planet during the preview day on the 14th November, in which a student, dressed as a political prisoner, was ‘arrested’ and ‘dragged’ from the Union in the middle of the day. The idea was to draw attention to the issue of human rights abuses and it aroused a lot of interest. Although this event goes no way to putting pressure upon the Government, it did show students, both current and future alike, that the political and social climate we live in is not one of green fields and dandelions, but that as an apathetic population, blood is on all our hands.

On the 15th November Cartel teamed up with the university's very own New Music Society (NMS), with the hope of bringing a more modern, bouncy and enjoyable atmosphere to the Lounge/EQ. The result was RUBBERDUB - an eclectic blend of beats and breaks from off the beaten electronic track, with Cartel doing their stuff upstairs. By the end of the night the atmosphere downstairs proved that the NMS can put on professional underground dance music and really contend with well established labels. Due to the night’s overwhelming success, it will now become a monthly event, with the next being held on 8th December. Tickets are available through the NMS Facebook group: Nu-music Society Portsmouth.

Photography: Andy Donohoe for the New Music Society.

Editorial Laura Patricia Pugwash News Editor

This has been a fun weekend! Between my horrible cold, and the News editor’s drug problem - okay, so he’s on supreme painkillers really - this issue of Pugwash News almost didn’t happen. However, we’re a dedicated team, and the evidence to prove it is in your hands. I am very proud of the team who put this paper together, and would like to thank them all for putting up with me coughing, sneezing and sniffing my way through the past two days! I spent Wednesday this week at the Guardian Student Media Conference in London. Despite a few navigational issues at first that were quite out of my control, it was a very good day, and I learned a lot. Unfortunatly we missed out on the awards ceremony in the evening, since we weren’t nominated for anything, but I am hopeful that this will be different next year!

Comment

Your Views In this, the comments section, we intend to outline some of the debates, arguments and conversations going on amongest you, the students. This issue we have taken a passionate debate from our online forums at upsu.net/forums. If you would like to join in, visit the forums. If you have something you think needs to be discussed let us know at: comment@upsu.net

If something has pissed you off email us at: gindmygears@upsu.net

“What is the Union coming to. Seriously!” “I just took the survey on entertainment at the union. Great, nice to know I can put my opinion in. But I cannot descirbe how disgusted I was at the question about how comfortable I would be about having nonstudents let in to the union. erm, hello? Its supposed to be a STUDENT union. for STUUUDENTS. What kind of student union even considers letting in non-students? of course, Portsmouth union, because it is obsessed with money making rather than suppoting and satisfying the student body. Why else would they considser letting in non stu-

dents? Before the union attempts to bring in new customers, perhaps it should consider why existing users aren't going as much any more. having to pay at the door to have a few drinks at the waterhole, the plain white 'club' which lacks any form of atmosphere and the bland unimaginative music are just a few things that should be solved if the union wants to sort out their growing unpopularity. If the union becomes open to non students I certainly won't be setting foot in it again.” jOjO

“Loads of uni's do it I don't see what the problem is? Rather than paying to see an act somewhere else I'd rather have the opportunity get priority tickets in the union. Anyways, presumably, if they are going to open it to the public, it would mean it would have to be competitive - what is the incentive to play at the union as opposed to Guildhall? Hopefully some reinvestment will lead them to choose the union but I can't see why it's much of a problem if they did open it, it would relieve the union of having to be subsidised

a lot every year by the uni (I'm not going to disclose how much) but it's a lot, and unless we want reduced opening hours it's the only way to go. Besides, I'd imagine the door security would be tight if there are students there too, so I can't see there being many issues with safety?” skribla

To read more and join in the debate visit: http://tinyurl.com/yqtlxo

Pugwash News

Wednesday 28th November 2007

Features

An Englishman Sabb Corner Alex in France Harries Tom West

Tom West, a foreign exchange student from the University of Portsmouth, tells us all about his adventures in Toulouse, France, in his regular column. “French university is the closest I’ve ever come to being culture shocked, or being sectioned, I haven’t decided yet. Upon arriving, I discovered an administration system operating on prayer and paper airplanes, (rather than the coordinated exchange of information and email that I would have expected) and a considerable number of lecturers who knew nothing about their own classes - I nearly hit the Prozac! I eventually managed to get registered, and with the help of various French students I beat down in the corridor (who helped me decipher the timetables pinned to the walls), I managed to put together a list of classes to sample before making my final choices. I asked one poor girl to give me some advice about studying here. She simply shrugged her shoulders and said, “Cette université... C’est horrible.” Now, not only is that not even advice but it happens to be a fact that would be proved true again and again over the next few weeks (graffiti everywhere, ‘squat ‘n’ plop’ toilets and 8:30 am starts, to name but a few). It doesn’t even need translating. Anyway, I thought I’d continue some of the classes I’d been having at Portsmouth. On my very first day, with a heart full of hope, I skipped along to my first lesson: Japanese. Ten minutes into the lesson, I discovered their second-year level is seventy-three times higher than ours and I couldn’t understand a word anyone was saying. Then I was made to write something on the board that, for

reasons I won’t explain, wasn’t a great success and had the French sniggering at me behind my back. Next: Spanish. I decided I’d try a third-year class as I thought that it would be taught in Spanish (as being taught anything else in French was inducing wine cravings). Yes, you’ve guessed it, my curse struck again. Not only was the class taught in French, it wasn’t even ‘Spanish’. It was, get this, the phonology of medieval Spanish! I sat there for two hours dribbling with boredom. It felt more like medieval torture than medieval phonology, and, at the end, the girl who I’d sat next to asked me if I’d like her to photocopy the sheet we’d been sharing so I wouldn’t have to worry about not having it next lesson. The look I gave her answered her question better than words ever could have.

She simply shrugged her shoulders and said, “Cette université... C’est horrible.”

“

I eventually reconciled myself with the fact that French is the only thing I should, could and would ever be taught in French, which is how I’ve come to do only the French as a Foreign Language class (read ‘French For Dummies’), and I can just about cope with that! But then, just as I’m getting into a nice routine, the students went on strike and blocked up the uni gates with every chair ever made by the hand of man, so none of us can get in! I mean, I don’t mind, honestly. You have your little socio-political protest; I’ll enjoy two weeks of unexpected holiday time. Weekend break in Montpellier anyone?”

Comic Strip - The Gribbler by Will Byars

Media and Publications Officer

Hello and welcome! The weeks since I last blagged some column inches have been hectic, at times scary, and very interesting - we have had students using their democratic power to ask whether the Sabb team need a boot up the backside, one (temporary) embargo on the newspaper, a RAG Ramble, the first issue of Pugwash magazine, loads of new shows on Pure FM, angry students complaining to the Union on the forums, almost two hundred Union Council minutes put online at upsu.net/unioncouncil, roughly twenty seven late nights, and 300ish cups of coffee fueling it all.

Elle Gray UPSU President

By the time you read this, the first issue of Pugwash magazine should be available across campus, so grab yourselves a copy in print or online in the archives at www.pugwashmag.com where you can also find PDF back-issues of the magazine and newspaper. It’s also not long ‘till the Christmas break, when everyone will be heading home to eat, sleep and study lots, but the Union’s staff and Sabb teams will still be working right up to Christmas week, so if you need to get in touch, drop us a line or an e-mail! More ramblings: upsu.net/blogs/alexh

Well, this Union Council had some of the best debates I have ever heard. Issues included whether Sabbatical Officers should be allowed to be members of clubs and societies and take Wednesdays off; A Campaign for Free Education; nuclear attacks on Iran; the NUS Governance Review; and clearing racists off campus. Whatever the outcome, it’s really important to discuss these issues - we all learn by actively participating in the debate. Also look out for our SHAG Week from the 30th November where you can watch films about STIs, learn about HIV issues and even get free Chlamydia tests.

The Health Hotspot: Chlamydia Jenny Leggott

Many students are sexually active at university, yet occasionally we can take risks that we wouldn’t normally take. Maybe you got a bit too drunk and can’t remember if you used a condom, or maybe you thought you’d just take a chance. You can catch chlamydia by having anal, vaginal or oral sex (the virus can be carried in the back of the mouth), or by sharing sex toys. Whatever the reason, if you have unprotected sex you may have contracted a sexually transmitted infection. Luckily though, STIs are becoming less of a taboo nowadays and it’s fairly easy to get yourself checked out locally. As part of the University Surgery’s registration process of new patients this year they are offering all patients the option to have a free chlamydia test. All you need to do is provide a small specimen of urine, (or you can have a swab taken but this is obviously the least popular

option!) It then gets sent off to the labs at St. Mary’s Hospital and, just two weeks later, you receive the results in a confidential way suited to you: either by text, phone or post. This scheme is part of the Portsmouth NHS Primary Care Trust’s research into STIs in young people. Since the study began, the results have shown that one in ten sexually active people tested under the age of twenty five have contracted chlamydia. Now, that’s a shockingly high figure you may think, but chlamydia is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the UK. There are few obvious symptoms; in fact, most people who test positive don’t even realise they have it. Sometimes sufferers of both sexes notice a discharge but 50% of men and 80% of females never experience any symptoms at all. However, if left untreated, the consequences can lead to infertility, something which you might not think about much now but may do later on in

life, and illness. If you are unfortunate enough to test positive then it’s not all terrible news. The virus can easily be treated by a course of antibiotics and, you’ll be happy to know, the recovery rate is high. Your current sexual partner will be able to receive antibiotics too so that you can both avoid re-infection. The doctor’s surgery or GUM clinic you go to will also be able to give you advice on how to contact your previous sexual partners so that you can advise them to get checked out too.

Want more info? Check out www.haveyougotit.nhs.uk or call 023 9286 6762 to get in touch with the Portsmouth City Primary Care Trust. Want to get checked? Pop in to the University Surgery in the Nuffield Centre or visit the Gum Clinic at St. Mary’s Hospital, Portsmouth.

Pugwash News

Wednesday 28th November 2007

Features

Pure FM at the SRAs Jenny Leggott

It’s Pure FM’s rookie year as a member of the Student Radio Association, which is a national collective of many UK universities’ radio stations from Edinburgh to Exeter. Every year, members from all the different stations travel to London for the biggest event in the student radio calendar. For some, to pick up awards, presented to them by big names in radio! This year, myself and Julie, one of our newest recruits, went along to find out what all the fuss was about. We arrived in London and rode a very packed Tube, as well as receiving some funny looks, being that it was only 6pm and we were already in our posh frocks! We arrived at the venue, the very classy New Connaught Rooms in Covent Garden, where we were immediately treated like stars. We were given a big bag of goodies, wristbands and a free drink. I managed to locate the

bar quickly and managed to get a few drinks in before the big event. It was a mad rush when dinner was announced; hundreds of people clambered into a massive hall and attempted to find their allocated table. Once the chaos was over, we dined in style with a lovely three course meal and free wine. Were they trying to get us drunk? After the meal, the awards ceremony began. Our amazing hosts, Scott Mills and Edith Bowman of Radio One fame, conducted the ceremony in style and several different student radio organisations won awards for their stations, shows and individual presenters. Award categories ranged from Best Journalistic Show to Best Technical Innovation, as well as the regular ones, such as Best Student Radio Station. The tension, excitement, and level of support for all those nominated was something I’ll never forget and I can’t imagine the buzz that those lucky winners experienced.

We were placed on a table with URB 1449, the student radio station from the University of Bath, who won the award for Best Marketing and Branding, so we cheered for them, since Pure FM hadn’t been nominated for anything. They were very nice people, and the best thing about all the student radio events, such as this one, is being able to network with like-minded people from different universities. After the main event came the all-important after-party! We were given more free alcohol and danced to top quality DJs such as Tim Westwood. Julie and I managed to sneak our way into the VIP lounge, where we got to meet Scott Mills and Edith Bowman face to face. This was the best moment of the night as they were happy to record some jingles and pose for some pictures with us. Suffice to say, we will definitely enter next year’s awards and going to the awards dinner, hopefully bringing home an award next time!

What’s on your radio? Tune in online: www.purefm.com

Meet the partners Words: Tiffany Lee Photography: Tom Worman

My mum once had a dream that I brought home Pete Doherty and introduced him as my boyfriend. Okay, perhaps it was just because my boyfriend’s name is Pete, but I have often wondered what it was that conjured this iconic image in my mum’s mind. A number of years ago, I got into the habit of bringing home a series of pathetic no-hopers who made feeling sorry for themselves an art form, but I have proudly buried this shame in the past. Perhaps my mum’s subconscious was simply revisiting this difficult time, or was this was an expression of every parent’s worst nightmare? It’s fair enough to consider our parents’ interest in our choice of partner as being Darwinian. They simply want our partners to provide for us in a way that will fertilise the family tree. After all, your children are their grandchildren (and effectively their future babysitting responsibility)! Nobody voices this parental fear better than a scowling Robert De Niro in ‘Meet the Fockers’, whose preoccupancy with continuing his legacy pokes fun at the paranoia of parent-partner conflict. What I want to know is; how much does our parents’ subtle elbowing in the direction of appropriateness really influence us? Do our parents simply affect our choice in partner, or do they cause it? As teenagers, it was fashionable to rebel against everything that our parents did or said, and this included their preferable future son or daughter in-law. Throughout school I was the equivalent of a typical ‘Guildhall’ teenager, using bold colours and band merchandise to voice my apparent individuality. So a strange and troubled boy by my side would only further my air of mystery. In this case, choice of partner was to force a reaction out of my parents.

It is a well known theory that we will often look for the qualities of our parents when choosing a partner. Freud elaborated on this by suggesting that every infant harbours an inate attraction to their motherly figure, which is then projected onto future relationships. Although this extreme theory gets a lot of negative criticism, recently I’ve started to believe ol’ Sigmund was on to something. After spending my early teens celebrating a seriously offensive track record of partners, I have settled down with somebody just like my father. My boyfriend scarily possesses some of my dad’s most eccentric qualities: he likes making things out of old crap, he thinks Subbuteo is a serious hobby and would be happy eating beans and chips every day for the rest of his life. In fact, if he had a grey beard and smoked a pipe the whole situation would become borderline weird. The other argument, although vague and not scientifically proven, is that somehow our choice is hereditary; my mum chose a Thunderbirds fan so, therefore, that quality becomes part of my checklist for men. This coincidence could have something to do with the environment of upbringing. It is hardly surprising to see that most middle class parents will introduce their offspring into a middle class environment, therefore influencing their choice of partner. However, can such similar oddities such as loving Subbuteo and Thunderbirds really be caused by this? If you are anything like me, your elaborate teenage colours would have softened to a far more conformist shade of beige and your interest in rebellion limited to missing the odd lecture here and there. Maybe we are getting old and, dare I say it, sensible. If you do feel the need to escape this inevitable future, head down to the steps outside the Guildhall, chill out with the posse, whack on a bit of Nirvana and tell yourself you are still cool.

Pugwash News

Wednesday 28th November 2007

Reviews .. in association with

Singles ‘Toothpaste Kisses’ The Maccabees

to Arcade Fire’s newest album. To summarise: if you like Arcade Fire’s new album a little bit, then you’ll like this a little bit too. Their new album, ‘Do You Like Rock Music?’ is out next year, and if this is anything to go by, it’ll be ace.

Rating: Stacey Doran

When this single came out in October of this year it received fantastic reviews. Now that it is being used in a phone ad on the telly we get to listen to it all the time and I hope it doesn’t wear too thin, because it’s brilliant. Not to break the trend, I have to agree that this is, quite frankly, one of the most beautifully written and performed songs I have heard this year. The soft and charming vocals of Orlando Weeks make this single an unforgettable edition to The Maccabees marvellous repertoire.

‘Pumpkin Soup’ Kate Nash Rating: Stacey Doran

‘Pumpkin Soup’ will be the third single released from Kate Nash’s debut album “Made of Bricks”. It starts so well with a beat that is totally different from Kate Nash’s usual steadysound and this single appears to have definite potential. However, it becomes annoying as soon as Kate’s somewhat repetitive vocal styling repeats the lyrics “kiss boy kiss boy kiss boy” and the entire track gets lost in this dull repetition. It’s alright for one or two listens but not one I’ll be adding to the iPod.

‘You Cross My Path’ The Charlatans Rating: Stacey Doran

Jumping on Radiohead’s bandwagon, The Charlatans’ new album is available in its entirety as a free download from a well-know radio station’s website.The single ‘You Cross My Path’ is the first release form the new album (which is still being mixed) and is simultaneously energetic and well-paced creating a catchy rhythm which resonates throughout. Tom Burgess’ vocal style sounds like it’s been through a transformation, and is much grittier than what we’ve heard previously from this fantastic British band. It’s definitely worth a listen if you enjoy driving rocky beats and an edgy sound.

‘Waving Flags’ British Sea Power Rating: Stacey Doran

Scott and Neil Wilkinson or “Yan andHamilton”, as they are known to their fans, make an excellent vocal combination in this new single ‘Waving Flags’ from the Brightonbased four-piece, originally from Cumbria. By mixing fast powerful beats with unfaltering steady vocals they pull off this rocky cacophony with great, swaying, melodious finesse. The result is a sound that’s not dissimilar

Live Biffy Clyro Southampton Guildhall Rating: Ed Butterfield

When a band chooses to play the Southampton Guildhall it faces an uphill struggle from the beginning given the infamously poor acoustics at this cavernous venue. Like most bands who play there, it would fall into one of two categories- they would be amazing and overcome this acoustic obstacle, or they would be drowned out by the sheer amount of echo bouncing around the place. The support band, Blood Red Shoes, started out promisingly, but their performance gradually transformed into somewhat sterile, over-rehearsed, mediocre combination of Death From Above 1979 and The Subways, lacking that dynamic that makes a high-quality live band. Let’s get one thing straight about Biffy Clyro before anything about their performance is said: they have guts. Few bands have the steely balls to open with the biggest release from their newest record (‘Saturday Superhouse’), followed in the space of roughly ten minutes by arguably the most loved tracks from their back catalogue (‘Justboy’ and ‘Joy.Discovery. Invention.’). The thing is, and this became increasingly apparent, is that they really do have the material to pull this off, jumping between their four albums with ease, all with the most spectacular light show probably ever seen at Southampton Guildhall. Highlights came in the form of ‘Glitter & Trauma’ and ‘Living Is a Problem’, which exploded in a flash of audience movement and strobe, and the beautiful, acoustic , ‘Machines’. Biffy just about managed to brush aside the audio difficulties which faced them, earning their crown as one of the most interesting, engaging live bands in the UK today.

Theatre Southsea Shakespeare Actors Presents…The Tempest Rating: Tiffany Lee

Producing a Shakespeare play is a bit like doing a painting by numbers of Da Vinci’s The Last Supper. It has the potential to be a great ideologi-

cal masterpiece but you are so paranoid of spoiling the intricate framework provided for you that the project is extremely daunting. But luckily, this is a “brave new world that has such people in it”, like the Southsea Shakespeare Actors who take on this challenge. The Tempest is not an easy play to recreate as it begins with an epic storm destroying an entire ship. However, this problem was well avoided by using cinematic techniques as the actors imitated the destruction in slow motion. The majority of the acting ability was impressive, but it was the comedic characters that animated the play and made it exceptionally entertaining to watch. The character that really held the heart of the play in her hands was Ariel, played by Fran Lewis. Even when her contribution was non-verbal Lewis never abandoned her character and her presence became more mesmerising than any of the action onstage. Some of her lines had even been adapted into a soft melody, which made her role even more enchanting. Unfortunately, her inescapable talent often out performed the less impressive actors. Miranda and Ferdinand- played by Lana Harper and Stuart Williams, who provide the play’s romantic subplot were bland and unconvincing, and often reminded me of the flat affection portrayed by Kiera Knightly and Orlando Bloom in Pirates of the Caribbean. However to see such a collective passion for theatre demonstrated so unashamedly on stage is fantastic, and in my opinion to make a whole theatre laugh out loud to Shakespeare’s words, including younger members of the audience, is

a real achievement. This production was proof of how colouring inside the lines can still be creative, and reminded me to add a painting by numbers to my Christmas list.

Cinema 30 Days of Night Rating: Aakash Naik

Having never read Steve Niles' and Ben Templesmith’s horror novel, of which this film is an adaptation, I didn’t quite know what to expect. Set in a remote and isolated town in Alaska the sun is about to set and not come out for a whole month. It’s at this moment that I think about leaving the cinema. It’s also at this point that a gang of vampires arrive to feast on the vulnerable community, whoop whoop! (Heavy sarcasm intended). What follows is two hours of pointless, brain numbing violence that I guess is supposed to be entertaining. The acting is over the top to say the least, and some characters are so clichéd it’s disturbing. To be fair though, this is a film you can also laugh at. One particular vampire is a complete rip off of Marylin Manson, and one police officer reminded me of someone who’d just sat through five days of Jeremy Kyle abuse (think stupid, needy and pathetic). There are also a few popcorn shaker moments, though few and far between. Overall this is not a film I’d say you should rush out to see. Send reviews to: reviews@upsu.net

Pure FM Show of the Week What: The Power Hour with Dan and Joel Who: Dan Cornes and Joel Growney When: Tuesdays 3-5 Description: Yes, we know its actually two hours, but think of it as buy one get one free. Expect to hear Dan (blonde, athletic, but technically a simpleton) and Joel (bearded, grumpy, would take off in a strong breeze) taking cheap shots at each other between a cheeky mix of indie, pop, charity shop classics, and the inevitable worship of Girls Aloud. The Power Hour, giving you our all; every Tuesday in your ears, but every day in our hearts. For fans of: Cheryl, Nadine, Sarah, Kimberly and the ginger one.

Every week we’ll be showing a chart of the Top 5 artists that the members of our Last.fm group have been listening to, if you want your music scrobbled, log in and add the Pugwash chart

Go to upsu.net/lastfm

Pugwash Top 5 1

Bloc Party

Radiohead

The Killers

Sigur Ros

Death Cab for Cutie

Biffy Clyro photo - Sara Simmons from flickr.com

Purple Wednesdays Wednesday 28th November 2007

Sports Features

Pompey prove their point A harsh but real message sent to English Universities boxing across the country!

Sporto Challenge Every fortnight we pit two of our sportos against each other in a fast paced Q&A session to see who’s cooler. Oh, and they have to draw a donkey too... Decide for yourself.

Wayne Gardiner Boxing Coach

Portsmouth University staged another spectacular show at the Lux last Tuesday. With fifteen bouts on the programme pre weigh in, it was looking to be an eventful night. After weigh ins and medicals the programme was confirmed with all fifteen bouts containing thirteen Portsmouth boxers. The Portsmouth University Dance Club kicked off the show with a fantastic two phase dance routine raising the roof, looking professional and oozing class with the best performance I have witnessed. Sarah Patrick was the first of the University boxers to open the show against Army representative K Evans, starting fast and the female southpaw used her stance to great effect. Sarah pressured and out manoeuvred her opponent at every turn, forcing the referee to intervene and stop the contest. This was not the only stoppage of the evening as Portsmouth piled on the pressure. Brian Oguo stopped opponent Ady Odonohue (North side Southampton ABC) in the third round with consistency and accurate punching, Michael James stopped

Photography: Tom Worman and Lucy Henry

Richard Fielding (PUABC) in the second round of their bout, Lawrence ‘Pretty Boy’ Brown stopped undefeated Carl Walton (Oxford University ABC) in the third round, David Totku stopped Miller (Cambridge University ABC) in the third round and Hamed Amin stopped C Batista (Oxford University ABC) in the second round of their bout. Other results included Terrry Sing with a points victory in his debut bout against T Gout (Cambridge University ABC), Luke Jeffrey out pointed Purcell (Oxford University) in a well contested bout, Stuart Henstridge Out pointed M Love (Southampton University ABC) and Greg Phillips who was against P Anderson lost due to disqualification after knocking out his opponent with a punch that landed after the referee called ‘stop boxing’, although Greg stated that he did not hear the referee’s instruction. After bout eight the Portsmouth University Cheerleading squad gave a acrobatic performance in the boxing ring which was highly received and enjoyed by the capacity crowd of over five hundred excited boxing fans. Reciprocate of best boxer of the night went to Dave Hicky for his fine

display of technical boxing and footwork, unanimously winning his bout by a substantial lead. I honestly believe that this immense performance and display against a range of University opposition sends a clear message to all Universities that Portsmouth means business and with fourteen boxers entered across the weight categories in the English University Championships in December, I honestly believe that we can dominate this year’s competition with a higher medal count than achieved last year. My lads and ladies are now completely hyped for the English University Championships with only one defeat (disqualification) and eleven victories against Cambridge, Oxford and Southampton Universities, they are brimming with confidence and looking forward to a good weekends work in Sheffield. Jimmy Earls, Assistant Coach and myself would just like to say we are very proud of all the boxers that took part and also a quick thank you must go out to all clubs that attended, Hampshire & IOW Officials, all Portsmouth University staff, Stacey ABC and Q Shillingford. Read a full bout by bout roundup on: www.upsu.net/clubs/boxing

Top 5 Sportos

Score

Marisa May

Andrew Machin

Tim Over

Simon Leach

Dave Hickey

Alex Milligan

Marisa May

Netball President

Cheerleading Vice President

Have you ever .... Drank /spent more than £100 on alcohol for yourself in one day? Never. Slept in your own sick? Definitely , the Christmas dinner last year. Slept outside? No.

Have you ever .... Drank /spent more than £100 on alcohol for yourself in one day? No - I'm a pro at mind sweeping. Slept in your own sick? Yes - don't eat chicken soup before you go to bed. Slept outside? Yes - my tent collapsed in Newquay. Attempted “straight-arm” drinking? No, I'm not adventurous enough.

Attempted “straight-arm” drinking? Yes, a sambuca shot on tour – hurts the eyes! Played touch cup? Ummm, obviously!

University of Portsmouth Boxing Club vs All Comers

League Table

Played Touch Cup? Of course I have.

Been naked in public? What else do you do on tour?

Been naked in public? Yup.

Been asked to leave the union? No, I’m a good girl. Missed a lecture to play sports / to do soco stuff? Of course.

Been asked to leave the union? Many a time - 10:30 on my birthday! Missed a lecture to play sports / to do soco stuff? What are lectures?

Participated in “The Ramp”? No.

Participated in “The Ramp”? Probably ... ask football.

Downed a jug of Snakey B? Attempted – did not go down well!

Downed a jug of Snakey B? Yup and I didn't even TC.

Gone in the sea after Tantrum / Time? No, it’s fricking freezing.

Gone in the sea after Tantrum / Time? Yes, and we caught two people having a romp on the beach! Started drinking before noon? I'm never sober.

Started drinking before noon? No, I think that's a sign of becoming an alcoholic! Is Snake Bite your choice of drink at the union? No, cider and black.

Is Snake Bite your choice of drink at the union? I didn't know they sold anything else.

How many societies / clubs have you represented at uni? (1 point for each club) Womens Basketball and Netball

How many societies / clubs have you represented at uni? (1 point for each club) Cheerleading, Gym, Trampoline and Rounders.

Now draw us a donkey ....

Score: 10

Score: 19

Purple Wednesdays Wednesday 28th November 2007

Sports features and results

Coach Education Programme

Rugby Rumble Pompey 1st’s de-throne the Kings First XV 22 v 17 King’s College First XV

After a long journey away to play King’s College, Portsmouth had a harsh start, with the Captain, Richard Hayward, getting knocked out in the opening tackle of the game. King’s got the upper hand in the first thirty minutes, breaking the backline several times to produce two converted tries and a penalty conversion. Portsmouth finally got themselves together, got three points from a penalty and stuck it out until half-time. In the second half, the team upped the intensity and pinned King’s down in their own half. This pressure then lead to a driving maul from a lineout, which put Sam Lappin over the line for five points, followed by a conversion by Simon Gregory. The team kept the pressure on and kept pushing, which gave Tudor Hughes a chance to run

Home Game Fixtures 28th November Basketball Mens 1 vs Roehampton Uni // Basketball Mens 2 vs Reading Uni // Basketball Womens 1 vs Kingston // Fencing Mens 1 vs Sussex Uni // Football Mens 1 vs Reading Uni // Football Mens 3 v Brighton Uni 4 //Football Mens 4 v Thames Valley Uni 1 // Hockey Mens 1 v Canterbury Christ Church Uni //Hockey Mens 3 v Middlesex Uni 1st // Hockey Mens 4 v Brunel Uni(WL) 3 // Hockey Womens 1 v Chichester Uni 2 // Lacrosse Womens 1 v Royal Holloway // Netball 2 v Brighton 3 // Netball 3 v Chichester Uni // Netball 5 v LSE 2 // Mens Rugby 1 v Royal Free // Rugby Mens 3 v Brunel Uni(WL) // Rugby Womens 1 v St Mary’s // Squash Mens 1 v Sussex Uni 2 // Squash Mens 2 v Portsmouth 3 // Tennis Womens 1 v Middlesex Uni // Volleyball Mens 1 v Kent Uni // Volleyball Womens 1 v Brunel Uni(WL)//

another try over the line, again converted by Simon. The team continued to pile on the pressure and intensity which produced another well earned try. The teams put their bodies on the line and the outcome was a deserved one. Penguins Roll Over Title Leaders Penguins Rugby Portsmouth Thirds 29 vs 7 Sussex Firsts.

Sussex no longer unbeaten! Job Done!

“

MoM: Elliott Smith played very well, but I would have to give it to Luke Cochrane, who never stopped running and always loves a big hit DoD: Browna * Standard Sussex arrived at Langstone graveyard expecting to walk all over us, just as they had been doing with the rest of the league. However they were in for a big shock. From the first whistle the Penguins were all over them and after two quick tries from Joe Leverson their heads were

The second half saw us add two further tries and did not concede another point; although the match threatened to boil over at times, it never did due to the boys keeping their heads. Matt Brown gets a special mention for a sin-binning towards the end but even this didn’t ruin a brilliant performance by himself and the rest of the team.

RESULTS

Badmington Mens 1 vs Cambridge Home // Badmington Mens 2 v Kingston // Badmington Womens 1 v Imperial Medics // Basketball Mens 1 v Hertfordshire Home // Fencing Women v Queen Mary Home // Football Mens 2 v Buckinghamshire Chiltern // Football Mens 3 v Chichester Uni 2 // Football Mens 6 v Brunel Uni (WL) 4th // Football Womens 1 v Royal Holloway // Football Womens 2 v Sussex Uni// Hockey Mens 2 v Portsmouth 3rd // Hockey Womens 1 v Reading Uni 2 // Hockey Womens 2 v Buckinghamshire Chiltern // Hockey Womens 3 v UCL // Lacrosse Mens 1 v Southampton Uni // Netball 1 v Chichester University // Netball 4 v Brighton Uni // Rugby Freshers v Wiltshire College // Rugby Mens 3 v Sussex Uni 1st // Squash Womens 1 v Essex Home // Table-Tennis Mens 1 v King's Home.

OPPOSITION

H/A

UPSU SPORTS TEAM

Men’s Badminton 1sts

Bristol

Men’s Badminton 1sts

Men’s Badminton 2nds

King’s Medics

Men’s Badminton 2nds

Men’s Basketball 1sts

Chichester

Men’s Basketball 1sts

Men’s Basketball 2nds

Royal Holloway

Men’s Basketball 2nds

Women’s Basketball 1sts

Essex

Women’s Basketball 1sts

Fencing Men 1sts

RESULTS 4

OPPOSITION

H/A

Cambridge

Kingston

Hertforshire

BCC

Women’s Badminton 1sts

126

134

Imperial

Fencing Women 1sts

City Uni

Fencing Women 1sts

Queen Mary

Men’s Football 1sts

Heartfordhsire

Men’s Football 1sts

Essex

Men’s Footbal 2nds

Portsmouth 3

Men’s Footbal 2nds

BCC

Men’s Football 3rds

Portsmouth 2

Men’s Football 3rds

Chichester

Men’s Football 4ths

Roehampton

Men’s Football 4ths

Kingston

Men’s Football 5ths

Reading

Men’s Football 5ths

Brighton

Men’s Football 6ths

Brunel

Women’s Football 1sts

Royal Holloway

Women’s Football 2nds

Sussex

Golf 1sts

Brunel

Golf 1sts

Essex

Men’s Hockey 1sts

Kent Uni

Men’s Hockey 1sts

Brighton

Men’s Hockey 2nds

Home

Win

Kings Medical

Men’s Hockey 2nds

Portsmouth 3

Men’s Hockey 3rds

Imperial Medics

Men’s Hockey 3rds

Portsmouth 2

Sussex

Men’s Hockey 4th

St George

Women’s Football 2nds

Men’s Hockey 4th

5th December

If you have any questions or queries regarding the programme then feel free to contact Graeme Hope (co-ordinator) at: graeme.hope@port.ac.uk

21st November 2007 Sports Results

14th November Sports Results UPSU SPORTS TEAM

The Coach Education Programme is open to anyone with an interest in developing their sports coaching skills and offers a number of training opportunities including sport specific National Governing Body (NGB) awards, Sports Coach UK Workshops and First Aid training, as well as getting involved with coaching in the community using the new qualifications and skills you learn. Courses are offered at a subsidised rate to University students and staff. Coaching and even taking a course to become an official of your chosen sport can teach you valuable life skills, specifically leadership and discipline. It will enhance your university experience and add a bit more weight to your CV.

down and their complacency had been removed. We soon added a third, through Elliott Smith, who played excellently all game. We gave away a bad try before half-time after a fumble in the lineout but if anything this made us focus even more on the task at hand.

Women’s Hockey 1sts

Royal Holloway

Women’s Hockey 1sts

Reading

Women’s Hockey 2nds

Imperial Medics

Women’s Hockey 2nds

Bucks Chiltern

Women’s Hockey 3rds

UCL

Imperial Bath Uni

Women’s Lacrosse 1sts

Southampton

Kent Uni

Netball 1sts

Chichester

Netball 2nds

Kingston

Roehampton

Netball 3rds

Bucks Chiltern

Netball 4ths

Brighton

Women’s Hockey 3rds Women’s Lacrosse 1sts Netball 1sts Netball 2nds

Netball 3rds Netball 4ths

Reading

Netball 5ths

Westminster

Netball 5ths

King’s College London

Kings Medics

Men’s Rugby Union 1sts

Hertfordshire

Men’s Rugby Union 1sts

Men’s Rugby Union 2nds

Portsmouth 3

Men’s Rugby Union 2nds

Men’s Rugby Union 3rds

Portsmouth 2

Men’s Rugby Union 3rds

Sussex

Men’s Rugby Fresher’s

Thames Valley

Men’s Rugby Fresher’s

Wilts College

Women’s Rugby 1sts(Fresher’s)

UCL

Women’s Rugby 1sts

Brunel

Men’s Squash 1sts

Surrey

Men’s Squash 2nds

Sussex

Women’s Rugby 2nds

Women’s Rugby 2nds Men’s Squash 1sts Men’s Squash 2nds

Surrey

Men’s Squash 3rds

Brunel

Men’s Squash 3rds

Women’s Squash 1sts

Kent

Women’s Squash 1sts

Men’s Table Tennis

Brunel

Men’s Table Tennis

Roehampton

Women’s Tennis 1sts

Men’s Tennis 1sts

Men’s Tennis 1sts Women’s Tennis 1sts Men’s Volleyball 1sts

LSE

Men’s Volleyball 1sts

Women’s Volleyball 1sts

St Mary’s

Women’s Volleyball 1sts

Purple Wednesdays Wednesday 28th November 2007

Sports news Bounce to top 10

Darby’s Diary Dodgeball

Coaches Corner

Marisa May Trampolining

Ramblings from our Sports Officer Celebrating Success!

Peppa Jane Barnett & Penny Wood

The UPSU un-sung sports heros

It was an early start for the handful of trampolinists who were on their way to Loughborough for the first competition of the year. At 6am after a Friday night all of them just wanted to go and curl back up in bed. The drive down was uneventful with all the passengers snoring in the back. When they got to Loughborough their 10 o’clock start turned out to be 9.30 and Josh Naden had to change quickly to compete in intermediate men. This didn’t ruin his chances as he came 4th, not bad for his first competition. The girls Marisa May, Lizzie Fitzwater and Amy Manning were next up in intermediate girls. Considering everybody was still a little tired they all put up a fantastic performance with Lizzie coming in 4th, Marisa joint 8th and Amy joint 10th out of 50. Lorna Kyan our advanced girls had the toughest job, judging and having to compete in advanced women. She came 25th out of over 50 other girls. Everyone left the competition a lot happier and livelier than they arrived. The drive home was uneventful apart from the standard getting off at the wrong junction on the M25! Well done to all those who competed lets hope they keep up the good work.

Dodge, duck, dive … well at least football tried to! The Intramural dodgeball competition kicked off at the Nuffield sports centre with the mens hockey team arriving dressed as women. They were accompanied by the AU Exec in 80’s gear (Darby took this a step too far with his ‘camel toe’ leotard!), army athletics, confused cricketers, the riding club in neon and many more teams including badminton - sorry “Badders’” team who made lots of effort with their standard badminton tops! Leagues were organised and soon balls started flying in every direction. It was just as dangerous being a bystander, if not more so . The AU Exec definitely had all the gear and no idea, being knocked out in the first round and ending up with the wooden spoon. It all started going wrong when one of Darby’s team mates threw the ball at his head: the AU should stick to their day jobs! As the day progressed the weakest players were knocked out, with the girls becoming moving targets; the look on their faces said it all. The day was very successful, medals were given out, lots of a fun was had by all and a few tears were shed by football. (Why? Because they got beaten by what looked like an all female hockey team.) We all learned something that day, boys are sore losers to girls - just ask badminton. A big thank you to all that helped organise the event and to all those who took part; remember if you can dodge traffic you can dodge anything!

Here at Portsmouth we employ three community coaches. The clubs have improved, not just in standard, but in structure. As well as catering for more people whilst showing more professionalism than before, it is time we started to appreciate the coaches and value the work they put in.

Want to be ‘On the Spot’ ? E-mail us at: sportnews@upsu.net

I know success is not the be all and end all but by the very nature of sport it is very important, just ask Steve McLaren! This week I want to focus on the clubs that have started the season well and have a chance of a bit of glory at the end of the year. First up we have Women’s Football First team, they play in league 2A and are undefeated to date with a 100% record, a certainty for promotion into 1A next year. Having spoken to them the difference has been the investment in coaching, alongside a good intake of Freshers. Next up is Women's Hockey; again a 100% record and a dead certain for promotion into league 2A, where they will be expected to do well once more. Womens Basketball, again a 100% record and odds on favourite to reach 1A next year, again the investment in a new coach is proving to be the key factor. Go on the girlies! Girl power! Now to the boys, where the football Fourth team are having a good year looking for promotion, the golf team boast a 100% record so a trip to 1A next year is a real possibility and finally Mens’ Hockey second team are also in pole position with another 100% record intact. However, success is not solely measured on promotion. Take the boxing event last Tuesday, what a night! In front of a capacity crowd Portsmouth remaining undefeated against all the other Universities, putting us in a good position for the English university championships in December. Men’s lacrosse have qualified for their national championship and the swim team had a fantastic result coming twelfth out of every University in the BUSA short course championships, a great result! One thing I really want to achieve this year is a sense of togetherness. Let’s grow a culture of support and help our teams; there are games every Wednesday down at Langstone and in the sports halls, please please go down and watch! Remember, sport is not a game it’s a way of life! (Seth Simmons) Lots of sporting love, Darby.

Separated at birth

Gotchas...

Pink, giggly, and blonde...

It’s all a bit of fun

On The Spot!

Who are you? Konstantinos Karantzis a.k.a ‘The Dog’ Age: 21! Club / Society History: Mens' Football. Home Town: Ipswich. First Portsmouth Curry: Goa, still better than the Aubergine. Favourite Movie: Torque. What puts a smile on your face? Joe Lott talking about girls. What wipes it off? People getting above their station! Mainly girls. Most embrassing moment? I don’t get embarrassed. Best chat up line? Look, I don’t want to go back with you and just cuddle, are we banging or not? Favourite uni memory? Living at Chetwynd Road with my boys (Locky, Sweaty Greg, Cooko, Waffle and Smiso. . RIP Ishag and Bowe). How quickly can you down a pint? I don’t drink pints, only jugs...weahhhh! (Bore off hockey.) Favourite dressing-up theme? Tramps - no effort needed. Tell us a joke: Why does Snoop Dogg have an umbrella? For drizzle. What three questions would you ask if you went on a blind date? How was your summer? What course do you study? What year are you in? Boring hell! Tip of the week: Don’t grow a beard, wear a moustache.

More info: http://tinyurl.com/yvk2ey

... remind you of anybody? When it was pointed out to us how much our AU media exec Peppa Jane Barnett and housemate-turned-twin-sister, Penny Wood look like the annoying Big Brother twins Sam and Amanda, we couldn’t resist putting up a comparison. Scary isn’t it?

Left: Penny and Peppa - Right: Sam and Amanda

Nicholas Parker

As Community Rugby Coach for the area I am responsible for developing rugby in the local schools, clubs and the University. This includes coaching the University Rugby Club and supporting students who coach rugby on the Up for Sport program. I started coaching eight years ago and I have been really lucky with the opportunities it has given me. I spent two years in the southern hemisphere coaching at High School Old Boys Rugby Club and Christchurch Boys High School, in Canterbury, New Zealand and Easts Tigers in Brisbane, Australia. I met a host of current and future All Blacks from whom I learnt a massive amount, and was lucky enough to coach players who now play Super Fourteen Rugby. But more importantly I made some great friends, got to know what NZ and Auz are really about and had a great time. Over the last four years the Uni rugby club has gone from strength to strength with all the teams winning leagues and the club becoming bigger and better, run by the club committee each year. But the highlight must be the First team coming back from fifteen-nil down to beat Chichester last game of the season last year in a title decider, awesome! At the end of the day it’s all about three words – Ability, Motivation, Attitude!

The gym coach has been getting around (see Naked Calendar). Do the riding girls look that good naturally? Hands up! Who got touched up whilst shooting for the Naked Calendar? Jaffa dream-cheated on his girlfriend last Thursday and woke up a little moist ;) Which hockey boy can't control his bowel movements in public ...Seth? Darby loves Andy's mum. Fact. Wayne, the Sports Administrator, used to be a back-up dancer for Louise Redknapp. First team squash captain is now an extreme emo, where are his skinny jeans? Who told the tanned footballer man-bags were cool? Badminton were the only ones to to get beaten by the only all girl team in dodgeball. Badminton beat squash at their own game. Which hockey girl had to get the bouncer from the Reg to park her car in a space that could fit a bus? Which member of the AU committee has agreed to do naked photos for fun? Cheerleading Fresh is allergic to tabasco. Fact. Jaffa lost a pint race against the dance club president. A certain dance girl likes putting their hands down their pants in public.

Send in your gotchas to us at: sportnews@upsu.net or join the facebook group at: http://tinyurl.com/3adt4a

FR EE

PURPLE WEDNESDAYS

Issue 5 Wednesday 28.11.07 upsu.net/news

Mens Lacrosse qualify for BUSA Nationals

Making Waves The University of Portsmouth Swim team headed to Sheffield last week for the Short Course National Championships. After some manic driving from Cannon the events began on the Friday with the 800m and 1500m Freestyle and the Freestyle relays. Competing for Pompey in the long distance events were the two fresher recruits Tom Marsters and Louisa Herring at 800m; both performed well. The best performance of the night however went to the Men’s 4 x 50 Free Relay Team of Dan Crook, Lewis Blake, Steve the Pirate and Andy Shand winning their heat and placing them in the final on Saturday Night. Saturday Morning kicked of at 8am with the Men’s and Women’s 200m Freestyle. Tom, President Wilson, Louisa and Becky Guy all performed close to their personal best times. Up next, two sprint events; the 50m Breaststroke and Backstroke. In the Women’s Breaststroke Pompey achieved our second finalist of the weekend, Mariesa Picknell, just second behind Zoe Baker, the former World Record Holder. After such a great morning some might have thought that Pompey would have had a slightly quieter afternoon, however we only had to wait for the 3rd event of the session, with Dan Crook qualifying for the final of the Men’s 50m Freestyle with a time of 24.24 seconds for the two length sprint event. After another great swim Jack Penny finished 14th, just missing out on another final showing. The last event before the finals session was the heats for 4 x 50 Medley Relays. Once again Pompey performed amazingly in the

Team Events. The Women’s team qualified for the B Final and the Men pushed Loughborough all the way to qualify for another final. The final began on Saturday and up first were Mariesa’s Breaststroke final and Crook’s Freestyle final. Both improved on their times from the heats with Mariesa finishing 6th and Crook 7th in a final separated by only one and half seconds. The evening culminated with the relays events with the Portsmouth Lads lining up against such Uni Heavyweights as Bath, Loughborough and Stirling. Improving on their heat time in a close final the lads finished a respectable 7th place. Sunday brought more finals for Pompey. The first final of the night was Frankie Murphy in the 200m Butterfly performing brilliantly, finishing in 8th in one of the sports toughest events. Soon after Mariesa was lining up for her second final of the weekend in the 100m Breaststroke, also finishing 8th in a final won by Bath’s impressive Janne Schafer. Dan Crook also competed in two finals, finishing 6th in the 50m Butterfly Final, won by Olympian Todd Cooper. Pompey’s last individual final of the night was the 400m Freestyle for Women, with Pompey’s long distance specialist Louisa Herring finishing 9th.The penultimate event for Pompey was the Medley B Final for the Girls - with a slight team change the team finished 6th, improving greatly on last year’s performance. The next event for Pompey was the 4 x 50 Medley Final for Men and Pompey didn’t disappoint, finishing in a great time of 1:47.95 minutes, earning 7th Place. Overall the team performed well and finished 12th out of fifty two Universities.

University of Portsmouth vs All Comers - full report inside page 9. Pics: Tom Worman and Lucy Henry

Before the start of this season, the men’s lacrosse team will have been looking forward to pushing on and regaining some pride following what was an extremely disappointing previous season. Last year saw a huge percentage of the first team squad being replaced by guys who had never even seen Lacrosse played at any level. To equip and train these rookies has been a logistical nightmare, capable of pushing even the most dynamic committee members to breaking point. Only nothing broke; teams were put out home and away and although the results were sometimes disappointing, work rate and attitude seldom were. This has become a theme that characterised our defeats - too many a time we trudged off the field muttering “don’t worry lads; we’ll have em next year.” What a difference a year makes. Six wins in the opening six games of the league season has been nothing short of astounding. On Saturday 17th of November, for the first time in the history of the Club, the men’s first team qualified as South Eastern Division Winners for the semi-final of the BUSA Championship. Fending off stiff competition from Hertfordshire (4-1) and Royal Holloway (7-0), Pompey prevailed on the fields of UCL. To represent not only our AU but the whole of the South East in a national competition would have been absolutely unthinkable twelve months ago. But here we are, one year on, a rejuvenated and battle hardened team with an extremely promising new batch of Freshers already biting at their heels.

Lacrosse

Intra-mural

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Women’s Lacrosse (1) vs Imperial College (16)

11-a-side Football

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The women maintained their record of scoring in every game so far this season on Wednesday. In an improved performance, the women showed fantastic character to peg back the London side. Chances were few and far between for the Pompey Ladies, with their only goal coming from Stephanie Box’s close range effort. Improvements in what was an almost completely new defence have been vast this season and this shows in the increasingly better results, although this could have been different if not for some excellent goalkeeping and defensive work.

11 a-side Intra-mural football has seen last season’s champions Hughesy’s Golden Balls struggle after an unbeaten season last year. Two defeats in four games shows the vast improvement in all teams and the current champions now look unlikely to retain their title. Currently Cunning Stunts top the table, but with five teams only separated by four points the race for the title looks to go all the way to the last game of the season. If you wish to get involved with Intra-mural football next semester, please contact Carl Aftersuch at: carl.aftersuch@port.ac.uk -TE

... and features, and photos, and socials, and anything else you want to tell us about your club! It’s easy to get a mention in PWs - just e-mail everything to sportnews@upsu.net, visit www.upsu.net/newsdesk, or come in to the Sabb Office at the Union and have a chat with us any time!

Rob Knott Swimming President