Issue 29 Wednesday 20.05.09
Is there a point in protest?
Give blood
Games by Gamel
Comment & Opinion » p5
Life & Style » p7
Arts & Ents » p11
Uni year set to change?
William Hobson
The structure of Portsmouth’s academic year may change dramatically in the future. A review of the current system of terms and semesters has inspired a proposal to start the year earlier, shift the referral period, and radically alter how courses are assessed. Both staff and students have given general approval to the proposed system, though there are some reservations. After being redrafted it is to go before the academic council in July 2009. A review of the academic department heads raised several criticisms with the current system from faculty across campus. The most fundamental flaws were seen as an over-reliance on summative assessments and a system which encourages "compartmentalised learning". It is felt that formative assessments are being undermined by an emphasis on summative examinations or coursework, leaving little room for feedback and individual improvement. The division between semesters also
led students to narrowly focus their energies, with little incentive to make wider connections between studied materials. 10-credit units have come under fire as both a cause and symptom of these flaws, with the authors proposing more 20-credit, cross semester units. Steve Topazio, the Union's sabbatical officer for Education & Representation, offered his support for the proposed changes: "Generally it seems like 10-credit units across the majority of the University don't seem to really work that well. The fact is that Portsmouth is fairly unique - no other university runs like us". One of the most significant ways Portsmouth differs from universities across the UK is the late start of term and the short Easter break. An earlier start and an extended break will bring the university more in line with other institutions, as well as enable the proposed changes to course structures. Currently both Christmas and Easter breaks are seen as disrupting study unnecessarily. Students were consulted through
the Course Rep council earlier this month. Their reception was described as "mainly positive" by Steve Topazio, with about two-thirds of the group in favour. Dave Smith, the chair of the Course Reps, explained that some students had reservations about the new assessment period and how any changes might work in different departments. He said: "The changes to the term dates are pretty much approved - obviously you're not going to please everyone though". Dave explained that student concerns were generally more focused on their specific departments rather than the overall university. For example, it is uncertain how the new system will address the large amount of coursework and lack of examinations in creative arts courses. The most universal concerns were worries about "pressure at the end of the year", with the possibility that the new assessment period may be overcrowded. Whilst the report suggests that credit could be awarded in more imaginative ways than it is currently,
such as with in-class tests, no solid proposals have been made yet. Course reps also welcomed the new referral period, though Dave pointed out that international students would be the ones most affected. "The fixed Easter will make it much easier for them to plan their travel and accommodation arrangements" said Dave, but pointed out that that returning in September for referrals could be more inconvenient than staying for July. The new system is unlikely to affect many students currently at Portsmouth. Any changes to the year cannot come into effect until 2012 at the earliest, as the university is obligated to give several years notice of its term dates. However students on four year courses, work placements or who intend to study a Masters may still experience the new system firsthand. "Though it might not affect most students directly" said Dave, "it’s still important to take part in the discussion - otherwise, where is the feedback going to come from?"
More Information •
The Academic year will begin at the start of September, with lessons beginning in the third week.
•
Referalls will take place in the first three weeks of September, giving students more time to prepare for units they have already failed.
•
All 12 weeks of Semester one will take place before Christmas. Semester two will start immediately on return and run unbroken until the Easter break.
•
Assessments will be with an annual “revision, consolidation and assessment period” at the end of the year.
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Pugwash News Wednesday 20th May 2009
News
Editors
The Decorations from the 2008 Graduation Ball that had previously been used for Britney Spears concerts.
Photo of the Fortnight
Jacob Leverett Editor pugwashnews@upsu.net
Tom West Comment & Opinion Editor comment@upsu.net
Peter Allsop Design Editor paperdesign@upsu.net
Elke Morice-Atkinson Life & Style Editor lifestyle@upsu.net
William Hobson Head of News news@upsu.net
Franz Lieber Guest Arts & Entertainment Editor artsents@upsu.net
Laura Patricia Copy Editor copyeditor@upsu.net
Ben Endley Sports Editor sportnews@upsu.net
Photo: Alex Harries
Sub Editors News Matt Calmus & Henry Tipping
Arts & Entertainment Dominique O’Mahoney & Jack Kane
Life & Style Nina Tennant, Russell Thomas and Olugbenga Oyeniyi
Sports Chris Hewett Design Sophie Abbott
Contributors Liam Angell, Mke Cooter, Emma Corsham, Stephen Dancey, Sam De’athe, Tom Dolan, Lucy Gilbert, Amanda Greenwood, Hannah, Hanley, Alex Harries, Clara Heard, Lizzie Hobbs, Jennie Lawrence, Julie Lorraine, Faye Lucas, Krish Mistry, Gamel Oki, Emma Spencer, Russel Thomas, Tanios Watfa and Tom Worman
Universities Round Up
If you want to get more invovled with your media. Maybe you are a dab hand with photography or fancy being the editor? Email: mediaofficer@upsu.net
Dates for the Diary 29th and 30th May - Politically Incorrect (show) - Porchester Parish Hall 21st - 31st May - Chinese State circus - Southsea common 4th June - Council Elections - visit www3.hants.gov.uk/elections 29th May - 3rd July - UoP End of Year Exhibition (student’s work) - Eldon Gallery
6th June - D-Day anniversary commemorations - across Portsmouth 18th July- Graduation Ball. 31st July- New Sabbatical Officers take residence.
Leeds Student Over 65 take-aways in Leeds have started to hand out free condoms along with their fast food. Some people worry it might encourage the underage, but it is hoped it will remind people of safer practices in the space between the pub and the bedroom. London Student Both the workers and students’ union of the University of London’s School of Oriental and African Studies have come out in support of a sacked post room worker. The unions claim that Joseph Stalin Bermudez was sacked for his support for the ‘justice for cleaners campaign’. Their criticisms of the disciplinary hearings which led to Mr Bermudez’s dismissal have been refuted by the SOAS executive board, but both unions have threatened to strike if the situation is not addressed. Edinburgh Companies that want to produce medicine from UoE patents must make them affordable to developing countries. In response to a campaign by the Edinburgh students’ association, the University has adopted a “socially responsible medical patenting policy”, which aims to put the benefits of their research in reach of those with the biggest needs and the least means. In the last 15 years University patents on medicines have doubled throughout the country.
Manchester Student Direct An official letter of complaint from the Advertising Standards Agency (ASA) was issued to a local club night for using controversial imagery. Promoters of student-run club night “Spread Your Legs”, which takes place at Northern Quarter nightclub The Ruby Lounge, hoped to promote the event using flyers bearing the face of Queen Elizabeth II, next to an image of a lion drawn with genitalia. The ASA stated: “The use of the Queen’s image and the reference to the Queen in [the advertising flyer] would clearly not be approved by the Lord Chamberlain’s Office. A physics lab at the University of Manchester has been linked to six deaths in the last thirty years. Three previous occupants of the Ernest Rutherford building have died from pancreatic cancer in as many years, added to another three deaths from other cancers since 1984. It is alleged that these illnesses were caused by radiation poisoning. But a link is unlikely and investigators have warned people not to get anxious because of “misunderstandings about the science” of radiation.
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You can download back issues of Pugwash magazine and Pugwash News online at: pugwashnews.com
www.thisiswhyyourefat.com
“where dreams become heart attacks”: if you want to procrastinate and feel vaguely disgusted at the same time, this is the place to go
www.gigablast.com
apparently it’s bigger and better than Google, though we don’t think “gigablast-ing someone” has quite the same ring to it...
www.the-editing-room.com
why watch the movie, when you can read the abridged screenplay which points out all its flaws?
www.realworldmagazine.com/advice Errors & omissions: while we take every care to verify our content, we may occasionally make mistakes. Please contact us using the details above to report any inaccuracies or mistakes.
for all of you graduates, here’s some advice from the professionals about facing that scary next step
www.fakenamegenerator.com
not sure who came up with this one or why, but its suprisingly entertaining!
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Pugwash News Wednesday 12th May 2009
News
Honesty seems to have been the best policy for one taxi driver in Argentinia: Santiago Gori has recieved over $14,580 in donations after he returned a bag carrying $32,500 to its owners. He has also been offered free snowboarding lessons, recording sessions and a GPS for his taxi.
Union’s supplier another victim of global reccession
If you thought ‘Think 21’ was just for alcohol, think again! An ASDA in Halifax demanded that a shopper show their ID when purchasing teaspoons.
A US soldier killed five fellow soldiers in Baghdad, according to reports from the Pentagon. The shooting is believed to have taken place at a clinic for treating disturbed combat personnel. This is the second such incident in the Iraq theatre of war; in 2005 a soldier was sentenced to death for killing two men and attacking fourteen others with grenades and his rifle. A history teacher has been sued for describing creationism as “superstitious nonsense” in California. A devout teenager in his class spent almost 18 months spying on his teacher, though almost all of the evidence he brought to bear was dismissed as taking place within a “historical discussion”. Out of 37 pages of material, only one statement broke the first amendment and the separation of religion and institution in America. The ‘Best Job in the World’ has been claimed by a Brit! The position of Australian island caretaker has been filled by Ben Southall, 34, chosen from over 35,000 candidates from around the world. His job consists of writing a blog whilst he explores the sunny, sandy island. The position is part of the Queensland tourist industry’s PR campaign, and was described by state premier Anna Bligh as “the most successful tourism marketing campaign in history”. The leader of the Tamil Tiger rebels, Velupillai Prabhakaran, is dead, the Sri Lankan military has said. The announcement on state television came shortly after the military said it had surrounded Prabhakaran in a tiny patch of jungle in the north-east. The head of the Sri Lankan army Lt Gen Sarath Fonseka said the military had defeated the rebels and “liberated the entire country”.
A 16 month old baby is eating 3,000 calories a day - on doctors advice. Agatha Holloway was born premature and underweight. Her usual lunch is a roast and mash potatoes with cream!
East London residents can now request a police escort when they pop down to the cash machine; a new service from the Met, it was intended for the elderly but anyone can ring.
Ben Endley
The new Athletic Union kit sponsorship deal could be in doubt before it has even begun after the suppliers went into administration over the weekend. With the contract still being negotiated and discussions ongoing over kit designs, the suppliers whole future has been called into question. Branded Retail LTD, a company that operates a in the UK trading Canterbury of New Zealand stock, was taken over by administrators on Friday morning. The Canterbury brand is a world renowned rugby make, supplying kits to the South African National ‘Springboks’ Rugby team and London Wasps as well as being the main kit supplier of Portsmouth FC and Spanish Premiera side Deportivo La Courunia. Kingston, Smith & Partners have confirmed that they are currently handling the financial affairs of the struggling business but have declined to comment further on the circumstances surrounding the slip into Ad-
ministration. The Canterbury outlet store at Gunwharf Quays stands closed and empty of stock, with a notice confirming that the Insolvency process is underway. It is however not this arm of the company that relates to the AU, the branch of Branded Retail which is of specific concern to the Student Union is Sporting Spirit, the newly agreed sole supplier of Athletic Union playing and social kit for a period believed to be approximately two years. Although the situation is disappointing, there is no suggestion that this sudden slip of fortune has resulted from anything but the current economic situation. Sports officer Simon Leach has been personally involved in ongoing meetings and has told Pugwash News that he was “confident” that a solution can be found to save the deal although it is not known whether it will be under the same terms. The deal is believed to be similar to arrangements held between other elite sports Universities and Sporting Spirit although it is not likely that this move will affect existing kit agree-
ments. Sporting Spirit’s recent presentation to Athletic Union Clubs beat off competition from two other locally based companies to be selected by the Athletic Union Exec Committee. During the presentation, no mention was made of any potential financial troubles within the company and despite being dragged into administration, Sporting Spirit is believed to still be solvent. At the time of writing, the AU Exec had not been made aware of Sporting Spirit’s financial situation however any change to the deal will require ongoing consultation with all concerned parties. Although a serious concern in light of the newly signed deal, a resolution and continuation of the deal is believed to be the likely outcome allbeit possibly delayed beyond the predicted first delivery date in October. The Union was due to place its first kit order with Sporting Spirit at the start of next year and it is not believed that any money has been passed to the suppliers yet and will not do so until the matter is resolved.
Chinese officials have been ordered to smoke more to boost their local economies during the financial crisis. Maybe Mr Brown should lift the smoking ban for our own good? The Big Brother state is beginning - on a volunteer basis. The controversial ID cards begins being issued in Manchester this month, though only as a ‘pilot scheme’.
Who cut Van Gogh’s ear off? According to a pair of German academics, it was sliced off in a duel by a fellow artist, Paul Gaugin.
YouTube helps deliver babies! A Cornish Engineer delivered his child using information from an instructional video he found online. As he says, he’s definitely “not afraid to go down to the business end”.
News » University
News » Local
News » International
Drawing out the deadline
Bar Brawl tragedy
Election News
A 20-year old man has died after being attacked in Walkabout on the 5th May. Four Royal Marines have been arrested in connection with the brawl which led to the man's death. Eyewitnesses say that the fight took place on the dance floor, between the victim and one other man, who was described as "a really big guy....about twice the size of the other". After bouncers broke the fight up, paramedics were called in and resuscitated the victim at around 11pm. After being taken to Queen Alexandra Hospital in Cosham with a serious head injury, the man passed away on Wednesday evening.
William Hobson
Students across campus saw their deadlines extended by a week this month, following severe disruption of the Information Systems (IS) services. Anyone who needed to hand work in at any point of the week beginning May 4th was given until the following Monday evening to meet the deadline by the university. For those on courses like Entertainment Technology, this even included dissertations. The opportunity of such an extension was quickly clarified by the academic registry though - any work successively submitted could not be retrieved, dashing several students’ hopes. "I stayed up pretty late doing this
essay on Wednesday" said Graeme Wetenhall, a third year, "And my dissertation was due in as well. If I'd checked my email I'd have known it could've all been a bit less stressful!" Public workstations throughout UoP were disrupted, as well as the University's electronic infrastructure. The Library was particularly affected; for several days renewals could not be made online or via the phone, and the issue desk was forced to close earlier. Even a week later, users were reporting problems accessing online resources through the Athens or Shibboleth system. The disruption was caused by an electrical fault on Tuesday the 5th. One of Uninterruptible Power Supply
(UPS) units that act as a safeguard in case of a fault in the mains supply ironically caused a complete loss of power to the primary data centre. Though power was restored within minutes by the on-campus generator, there was minor damage to the servers providing student storage - the 'N' drive - and it took over a day to fully address the problem. Head of IS, Andrew Minter, said that "no data was lost" and that all students’ data is 'mirrored' in two different locations for safety and security. If you are unsure email steve.topazio@upsu.net
On June 4th 2009 countries throughout the EU will elect their representatives for the European Parliament (MEP's) - the same day that the UK counties choose their local officials. Any UK citizen can vote for an MEP, and anyone registered to vote in Hampshire can vote in the county elections. find out more at aboutmyvote.gov.uk
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Pugwash News Wednesday 20th May 2009
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Pugwash News Wednesday 12th May 2009
Comment & Opinion
Any point in protest? Stereotypically speaking, we like to think we're better than the French at most things. One of the few things we'll probably never be able to beat them at is having a good ol' protest. Russell kindly proves the point, as he harks back to the G20 protests up in London town. 1st April 2009. The G20 protests. We wanted a riot and we got schoolyard scuffles. There were injuries and arrests and the orgiastic looting of RBS, and one person died of a heart attack. And then the day was pretty much over. Trafalgar Square was a hub of bongos and placards, part-time communists in what felt like an urban festival. Glastonbury, but in the streets. There was one chipper man chalking the floor and when someone tried to take a picture, he snapped and snarled for money. So much for “down with capitalism”. I was supposed to be writing my dissertation on Wednesday, but instead I got the long train up to London to see what was going on. I had heard that people were going mad in the Bank area, so I asked my housemate if he would like to go with me. He jumped at the chance, drove straight to Wiltshire Building and picked up a video camera. Fratton Station. Long train journey. Waterloo. Starving at this point so we bought a baguette.
Arriving in Trafalgar Square was strange. The festival atmosphere whisked around like a brisk wind and whipped people up into an odd frenzy. Everyone was being nice to each other. One man on a bicycle decided to stop and watch the tail-end of a speech by someone, replying with his own shouted slurs on capitalism. No one really took any notice. They were all too busy not really doing anything. After the initial clashes, everything fizzled into a half-good day out. Lovely weather, anyway. That was the problem. It was more of a day out than the serious protest it was trying to be. It was very postmodern in execution. The four horsemen of the apocalypse erupted from four tube stations to descend on Bank in all their clanging colourful madness. More carnival-gone-wrong than protest-gone-right. And it was better than a carnival in some ways, because there was allowance for being rude to police. They expected it, protestors and probably some miffed bankers got away with it: a rare joy. But most of all, it was a day for protest-watchers. You see all the right things. It was our original premise – come to London, film the protests, home. It didn’t really work like that because we got sidetracked walking from Tower Hill to Canary Wharf because we’d heard
that there were some protests at the ExCeL Centre – then getting stopped by Canary Wharf police for filming and escorted off site. (The ExCeL Centre was closed, by the way, and we ended up back in Bank, night having descended on the city). Bank at night was a different kettle of fish entirely. We walked into the square where the Bank of England was, and noticed first the multitude of police in high-visibility jackets – I would say about 200 of them. One of them shouted something and my housemate and I were a bit spooked, especially when they all mobilised and started marching up Threadneedle Street, where all of the earlier kerfuffle had ensued. What was most alarming though was the atmosphere. It was quiet, except for distant sirens and the always-present helicopter above. The street was strewn with rubbish: lost shoes, bottles of water, hats, discarded placards, broken glass, the remnants of a mannequin that had been dressed as a banker and burnt. There was a police line outside RBS, where the windows had been smashed. “THEIVES” and “BURN” had been written poignantly on the building’s side. Adjacent to the Bank of England, running up Threadneedle Street to RBS, was the wall of a building –
I’m not sure what building it was. It was covered in graffiti. Anarchocommunistic-green-party-cum-hippie movement slogans, chalked, drawn, sprayed all along the wall of this building. Graffiti is usually illegal, so I wondered how so many people got away with it. That was the highlight of my day, traipsing around outside the Bank at 9pm with the other stragglers. All voyeurs. Not many looked like tourists and they all promenaded up and down this wall very slowly with all the intent of a gallery-goer. Nearly all of them were taking pictures with the first thing they had to hand – a phone or a camera. I wondered whether they were taking pictures for gossip later, or whether they just wanted something to look back on, or if, while they looked at the screens of their cameras, they felt a tiny tinge of pride and felt that what was written related somewhat to their views. Actually, I don’t think it was the latter. It was entertaining in a thought-provoking way. What happened at the end of the day? Everybody went home, feeling that being a major or a minor nuisance in some way helped further the cause of the extreme left. I have some good pictures on my phone. My housemate has some great footage of the day. That is really it. Bank is near enough fine. Just needs a bit of a tidy-up. The
problem with protests, and especially this one, is precisely that. Everybody goes home. If people’s opinions and beliefs were as real and as strong as they made out, and not manufactured by what their friends think, or what their bosses would say, or how much money it would cost, or getting injured or arrested in the worst cases, or killed, then protests would become a much more serious affair. What is needed, if these people really desired change, is a steady drip-drip of erosion. It is like a memory foam mattress, push on it with your hand and then take your hand off – the foam slowly morphs back into its flat, original shape, unchanged by the brief pressure. But after a long time it remembers your shape, it accommodates you. The more pressure, the more permanent the change is. If all we have ahead of us in terms of protests is the occasional proto-anarchist carnival, filled with fashionable tricksters and hypocritical communists, then I would rather live in this “fascist” police state than endure false and pointless demonstrations. Otherwise, I can safely say that I walked around all day wishing for a proper riot. Russell Thomas
our country's retail staff's inability to recognise foreign documents as foreign cashiers recognise ours. Now, we may not have ID cards in the UK yet, but it doesn't take a languages degree to work out that Documento Nacional de Identidad may have something to do with the words a) document, b) national and c) identity. So, why the embarrassing hassle? Shops have had the willies put up them about selling alcohol and cigarettes and, to a lesser degree perhaps, DVDs and video games to people under the legal purchase age for these products. For the most part, rightly so. However; there is such a thing as being too cautious. I've seen signs in shops saying that if a member of staff judges you to look under 30, you must prove that you are over 18. Well, I can spot a flaw in that one straight away. One person may think you look 35 whilst another may thing you look 21.
The subjectivity of people's guesses is what causes such trouble in the first place and as a blanket measure to prevent underage purchases appears to work quite well. All I'm saying is that if, when challenged, a person is able to prove they are indeed of the legal age required to buy whatever it is they're buying, then who cares how they prove it? Shops should train their staff to better recognise valid foreign documentation or at the very least, staff should use their common sense and realise that not many people would go to the trouble of forging a German ID card AND driving licence to buy a packet of cigarettes. Also, if you're ever on the receiving end of this kind of ignorance when you go to buy a bottle of wine or what have you, don't be scared to kick up the mightiest of fusses. I fear it's the only way they'll ever learn. Tom West
Challenges for odd ID
“I never thought there would be a time where I would brand some of the convenience stores in our fair city as just a little bit fascist, but then again, I never thought I could fit my fist in my mouth. I guess I was wrong on both counts.” Carrying on slightly the discrimination theme from last issue, Tom highlights how some of our foreign students are getting a rough time at the hands of some of their most frequented locales.
For those of us that don't have a passport or a photographic driving licence, proving our age when it comes to purchasing age-restricted goods can be as difficult as licking your own elbow. Despite the availability of several proof-of-age cards, most supermarkets, off-licences and the like are refusing to accept them, leaving most of us with little option but to invest in at the very least a provisional driving licence, even if we have no intention
whatsoever of buying a car in the foreseeable future. One of the benefits of having an official document such as this to use to prove our age is that we can use it for the same purpose in foreign countries. I've bought alcohol in France, Spain and the US, with no trouble at all. In fact, when you hand it over, most cashiers want to start nattering with you about where you come from, which usually makes for an interesting five or ten minutes at the till as you wonder how you're going to fit all that piña colada mix into just one bag for life... I'd like to do two things now. The first of these is to thank all of the foreign cashiers for always accepting my driving licence as proof of age, even when you didn't really understand what it said on the front you recognised that it was an official document and therefore had at least some small degree of legitimacy. The second thing
I would like to do is apologise on behalf of this country to all the Erasmus students at Portsmouth who have been denied age-restricted goods because a convenience store cashier refused to accept their passport/driving licence/ national ID card as proof of age. You would think, what with us being part of Europe and all, that it would swing both ways. Apparently it doesn't. Several friends of mine have been refused service because they have been unable to produce a valid United Kingdom document. One cashier even told one of my friends it was against the law for her to accept a foreign document as valid proof of age! Having worked with age-restricted products myself, I can say that that is one of the most perfectly stupid things I've ever heard. This was a beautiful example of the cashier's ignorance as to how to deal with a foreign document and a lamentable demonstration of
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Pugwash News Wednesday 20th May 2009
Life & Style
One for the Boys - How Not to Dump Her Elke Morice-Atkinson
We have unfortunately entered an age where romance, wooing, courting – even falling for a person - no longer happens face-to-face. We get excited when a hottie, a fittie or even a pretty average bloke ‘Facebooks’ us, texts us, emails us or adds us to MSN. What’s depressing though, is when someone breaks up with you via one of these means. Trust me, it happens. I’ve heard stories of girls checking their Facebook profiles, only to find they are suddenly listed as single, with no explanation. I’ve also heard of girls being dumped by long term boyfriends over both MSN and email. There’s even been the odd occasion where a text message was the weapon of choice. Once, I heard a rumour that a guy even made a YouTube video to dump his girlfriend and then made his (now) ex-girlfriend watch it. If anyone is a Sex and the City fan, I’m sure you remember Carrie’s ‘postit’ incident: “I’m sorry, I can’t, don’t hate me.” Listen up boys; this is not the way to go about dumping her. There are a few rules about breaking up with someone – the first being, if you’ve slept with her, breaking up
via any form of digital media is pretty much unacceptable. Even doing it over the phone can be a bit dodgy. Basically, the rule of thumb here is: if she has Swine Flu and you don’t, then a text or a phone call is probably alright. Only then. Boys, we aren’t that scary – yes, we’ll probably cry, ask you why and then say (repeatedly) that we don’t understand why. But really, all we ask is that you aren’t a coward, do it to our faces and respect us enough to remember that at one time during the relationship, we really did have fun and perhaps even liked or maybe loved each other. Breaking up with us simply by pressing ‘send’ is just not acceptable. The second rule of breaking up is that you think long and hard about what you are going to say. Your break up story will be repeated a number of times (guaranteed) and you don’t want to come off looking like a bit of an idiot, having everyone say “that is so random, I really don’t understand why he said that!” and end up finding yourself listed on dontdatehimgirl. com. Thirdly, never use a line. We all know the: “it’s not you, it’s me,” one. Other things never to mention in a
break up are: what your family’s opinion of your relationship is (just not relevant), that she no longer makes you happy (it’s not her job), that you want to meet other people (excuse me?) or that your mates don’t really like her (not the best way to go). Your mates will turn out to be integral in the break up aftermath. You must have your wing-man on duty for moral support and protection (if needed). Warn him or her you are doing the break up dance beforehand. Watch out for mutual friends though. They can quickly turn into a bit of a minefield after the break up so be prepared to hear your mates tell you they don’t want to take sides. They just care about you both. Finally, there may be the odd awkward text message or phone call in the few days after the break up, but don’t be frightened to reply or answer the phone. We’re probably only calling to see how you are, maybe tell you that we miss you or we might just be asking for our DVDs back. If your relationship was good, at least give it a good death, we’ll appreciate it in the end. So, if you can’t, you’re sorry and you don’t want us to hate you – don’t dump us using digital media (or post-it notes).
The King of Theatres Amanda Greenwood
Elegant and defined, Kings Theatre has stood on the corner of Albert Road overlooking the quirky shops and bars beneath it for over a century. The scaffolding has been taken down to show the theatre in all its glory, but believe me, it’s even better inside. At 101 years old, the Kings Theatre has seen a transformation in the past eight years thanks to a dedicated Trust, workers and volunteers. But this wasn’t always the case. Until 2001 the theatre was in ruins, unwanted by the council and threatened to be knocked down. But a passionate few bought the theatre for just £1 from Portsmouth City Council and set to work on its repair and restoration. Dodgy paintwork was scrubbed off, plaster re-made and paintings spruced up to return Kings to its full splendour.
Now a fully running theatre, there have been loads of shows in Southsea, including comedians Jimmy Carr and Phil Jupitus, music acts such as 10CC, amateur productions like The Producers in June and even the touring musical Chicago in May, starring Jimmy Osmond and Emma Barton (Honey Mitchell in Eastenders). You may even know some drama or theatre students who are in the productions. Tours of the theatre are held on the first Saturday of each month and there are regular events like the Open Day to get to grips with theatre technology and backstage secrets. The Kings is always on the lookout for new volunteers too, whose work is essential to the running of the theatre and you could get involved. Everyone is welcomed with open arms and your abilities and skills will be matched to the department you think you will work best in. Since my time there, I
have worked on the technical team for three months as stage crew, and helped in the marketing department. I’ve worked the spotlight, ran lighting during live performances, moved scenery for the pantomime and sat talking to the Ugly Sisters in the wings. It’s not only been great for me as work experience but I’ve been able to help a charity too, which is why everyone is so friendly and willing to take you in. This atmosphere is pushed into the auditorium, where the shows are fantastic and the surroundings are beautiful. So why not get yourself down to Kings Theatre, check out their website: kings-southsea.com or ring the box office on 029 9282 8282 to find out what shows and opportunities (or celebrities!) are coming to a theatre near you.
Cradle to the Grave Olugbenga Samuel Oyeniyi
From the crucial baby-parent bonding process through the turbulence of adolescence, our formative years play a significant role in determining who we become as adults. Here we try to examine the complex ways in which family relationships unfold and the effects they have on us. Human psychology, as we know, begins in the primary family relationship between parent and child. A passionate and absorbing bond with his or her primary carer (usually, though not always, a mother) is the infant’s first experience of loving, and of being one person of a loving pair. The interactions between baby and parent are so finely attuned to one another that they have been described by the psychiatrist Daniel Stern as an elaborate flowing dance, wherein the participating partners get to know one another and get to know themselves through one another. Responsiveness from both parents is key to the ability to make and use mental representations both of one’s own and other people’s emotional states. The concept of self (who we are and what we feel), living in world with other people and feeling one’s self, begins here. These formative communicative routines are normally well-established within the first three months of life, and are the building blocks of intimacy. Without them, we may have long-term difficulties with mental health, and these interactions remain a reference point for what each of us seeks in other family members: to express who we are, what we want and need, and to elicit a satisfying response. A parent who is too depressed to engage with others leaves a child feeling isolated. A husband who has set ideas about who his wife is and what she should do or feel, leaves her feeling unloved and unseen. The significance and intensity of the parent/infant “couple” goes a long way to explain why a new baby impacts on the family as a whole. The partnership now has a new shared focus, but also has to negotiate shifting priorities and new demands on the emotional energies of each parent. A father may seek an equal involvement with the infant, for example, and the mother may feel her own status is being undermined. The birth of a child also impacts on any other children in the family, who gain a life companion, but who also confront the hard reality
that a new person will now compete for love and attention. Children are fascinated by their siblings. As soon as they acquire the rudiments of language, they are likely to comment on the needs, likes, feelings and intentions of a sister or a brother. Among their siblings, children hone their understanding of their own and others’ minds. For a long time, it was thought that very young children were not capable of a complex understanding of others’ intellectual and emotional states, but it has since been disproved. The empathy and understanding that many siblings share makes them great playmates, but their closeness can also breed rivalry. Same-sex siblings tend to identify more closely with one another than brothers and sisters do, but all siblings share a history and an identity as members of the same family. This allows them to champion one another in the outside world, to support and look out for one another, but their deep knowledge of one another also gives them a special ability to tease, embarrass and hurt each other. It is with brothers and sisters, after all, that children learn the strange lesson that we can love and hate the same person. Birth order also provides each child with specific roles; the oldest often develops leadership roles, while younger siblings can be mediators or appeasers, and middle children can slip from one position to another. Of course, children exercise skills other than those associated with birth order, but often find themselves falling back into old ways among themselves. Long after the protected younger sister becomes a tour de force in the boardroom, she may defer to her big brother on family issues. Sibling companionship and competition often drive children’s developing identities. The shared genetic and environmental factors that predict siblings will be similar to one another creating a psychological context in which each may strive to be different. Growing from childhood to adult passing through all stages is a series of complex stages of life which when looked back on. It is obvious that our early family relationships can have an effect on our entire lives and it is important that we observe and understand this – at one time our lives, or another; we will encounter a situation in which our early family bonds will influence our decision making processes.
Life & Style » Student Media
Filming the family Jenny Lawrence
When Jamie Gazard, a third year Video & Broadcast student decided to embark on his new video project for his documentary–film making unit, he knew it would be difficult. The subject of his documentary was a seven year old boy called Lewis, who suffers from Hydrocephalus, or water on the brain. Hydrocephalus can cause a great deal of symptoms to those with the condition, including short temr memory loss, learning difficulties and epleptic fits. Jamie read about Lewis Hine in the local paper The News and contacted
his mum Emma Hine about possibly documenting their story. What in particular struck Jamie about this young boy is that despite being severely ill, he still managed to raise more than £20,000 for charity. Jamie’s documentary tells the story of Lewis and how he, along with his Mum Emma, Dad Wayne, nine year old sister Chloe and five year old sister Jessica cope with Lewis’s illness. Before filming began, Jamie and another Video & Broadcast student, Elliott Sweeney, met with the family and they instantly became friends. (Elliot acted as cameraman throughout the documentary.) It was then that Jamie decided that his role should be in front of the camera: “the relation-
ship I developed with them made the documentary more personal”. He documented his time with the family over a period of a month with the goal of telling the family’s story of how they have overcome the illness and all the negativity. He said “What interested me in their story even more was that he deals with his illness incredibly well, he comes across as a healthy child, running and playing as kids do. So for an interesting documentary this was perfect.” One dilemma that Jamie and Elliott both had to face, however, was whether or not to film Lewis when the worst of his condition took hold, for example when he was experiencing epileptic fits; Jamie decided against
this as it was quite a sensitive issue and he wanted this film to represent the positivity that the family seemed to constantly uphold. When the family were asked why they decided to raise money for charity, Emma said, “When you’ve got a child that’s really poorly and incurable, there’s nothing we can do to help him – it makes you feel really helpless.” She went on to say, “although it doesn’t help him, it helps other parents like us with children like Lewis and it makes us feel like we’re doing something, fundraising for us is the best medicine we could have ever had.” They went on to complete the Great South Run, with a total of 22
adults competing on persuasion from Lewis dressed as Superheroes on behalf of the charity Association of Spine Ibifida and Hydrocephalus (ASBAH). When filming was over, Jamie continued to stay in contact with the family and later agreed to join in the Great South run on behalf of ASBAH. He has hopes for the documentary to feature in upcoming film festivals and is currently awaiting confirmation of his competition places . The documentary alongside more information and some of Jamie’s other videos can be viewed at: jamiegazard.com
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Pugwash News Wednesday 12th May 2009
Life & Style
Life & Style Guide To... Giving the gift of life Clara Heard
How do you fancy saving the lives of up to three people? Donate one pint of blood today, and you could do just that. Right now, a premature baby is being born. A doctor is diagnosing a father with cancer. Somebody’s best friend is being admitted to a burns unit, and a mother is in intensive care. Right now, these people need help, and you can touch their lives by doing one thing giving blood. Blood collected at donor sessions by the National Blood Service (NBS) is used to save and improve the lives of sick and injured patients. Over two million units of blood are collected each year by the NBS to be used in the treatment of accident victims, during routine operations and for patients receiving treatment for cancer and other diseases. Sound a lot? Well actually it isn’t - that’s just 4% of the eligible population giving blood up to three times a year. Saving lives isn’t the only thing that donated blood can do. For some patients, whose illness cannot be cured, a blood donation can help to improve their quality of life during the final weeks and months. We may take it for granted that blood will be there for us whenever we need it, but it is important to remember patients are reliant on voluntary donations. The NBS has no system for manufacturing blood and so it is up to us to ensure that blood stocks are maintained. Whole blood only has a shelf life of 35 days. Constant supplies are needed to help ensure that the 310 hospitals across England and north Wales supplied by the NBS have the blood they require on a daily basis. It doesn’t help that approximately 15 per cent of the total number of blood donors are lost each year to relocation and ill health. If you’re over 17, weigh more than 50kgs, and you feel fit and well, then you may be eligible to be a blood donor, giving the gift of life. How to get your blood flowing If you’re thinking about donating blood for the first time, it’s natural to be nervous. But the process is relatively quick, virtually painless and knowing that you’re helping to save lives will far outweigh that feeling of
butterflies in your stomach. Blood donor sessions can get busy so before you go it’s useful to book an appointment by either calling the NBS or by going online at www.blood. co.uk. This allows you to search for a location, date and time that suits you. In Portsmouth, you can choose from ten different sessions. If you fancy popping in between lectures, then Portsmouth Guildhall regularly holds blood drives. When you arrive, you’ll be given leaflets to read and will be asked to fill in a Donor Health Check (DHC) questionnaire. The questions relate to your medical history and lifestyle. Some of the questions may seem a bit personal, but are essential for the NBS to check that it’s safe for you to give blood and for a patient to receive your blood. The information you give to the NBS about yourself and your donation will all be stored securely (in accordance with the Data Protection Act 1998). After a short wait, you’ll be called into a booth to speak to a nurse who will review your DHC with you before taking a tiny drop of blood from your fingertip to test your haemoglobin levels. This is to ensure that giving blood won’t make you anaemic. You can also take this opportunity to ask any questions that you may have about blood donation. Staff will then cleanse an area on your arm and insert a sterile needle to begin the donation. A bit squeamish? It’s alright; you can close your eyes! Now all you’ll need to do is relax. The length of time it takes to fill a donation bag varies, but on average, it’s about ten minutes. And here’s a tip - if you drink plenty of water before you go, your blood flow will be quicker and the time it takes to donate will be faster. It’s also wise to make sure you have had something to eat before donating. Once your unit (470ml) of blood is collected, the carer will gently remove the needle and place a bandage on your arm. Then comes the best bit - you can go and raid the table of biscuits, crisps and drinks. What better way to bag a free snack? Having this time to relax allows your body to
adjust to the slight decrease in blood volume. When ready, you can leave the session and continue the day, with the great feeling that you have done something incredible with your time.
Why are black and mixed race blood donors so desperately needed? Statistics show that of the total number of regular blood donors, just three per cent are of an Asian, African or African-Caribbean background.
When I was eight years old, my babysitter had a sickle cell seizure, and it’s one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen. If our community can just spend a little time to give something that costs nothing, we can help stop the pain and save lives.” Blood Donation Myths Busted! There are many reasons why people don’t donate their blood. Here are some of the top ones given: “I can’t donate blood because I have a tattoo” You can’t donate if you’ve had the tattoo done within the last six months. However, if you’ve had the tattoo longer than this it won’t exclude you from being a donor. However, it’s important that you tell the NBS because the donation may require an additional blood test. “I don’t weigh very much, so I’m worried that I’ll feel weak afterwards” As long as you weigh at least 50 kg then there shouldn’t be a problem. Most people adapt quickly to the blood loss, and their system isn’t upset by it. Once you’ve given blood, you’ll have a short rest with refreshments. This will allow your body time to adjust to the loss.
It is important to ensure that when there is a need for blood or bone marrow, there is a match available. There are also health conditions prevalent within ethnic communities that need constant supplies of blood such as Sickle Cell Anaemia and Thalassaemia Major. A number of Black and Asian celebrities have supported the NBS in their campaign to highlight the importance of donation and the need for more people from their own communities. BBC Radio One’s Reggie Yates says: ‘‘I’ve seen those close to me affected by the great need for blood donation.
“I’ve already donated blood this year, so I can’t donate again” It is possible to donate every 16 weeks. Give blood regularly and you can potentially save thousands of lives. “I don’t have the time to give blood” If you book an appointment via the National Blood Service Session Searcher, you can select a time and date that suits you. The whole process takes less than an hour. There are even sessions taking place later in the evening – so you can pop in after uni. “It’s not safe” The NBS takes the safety of both donors and recipients very seriously. That’s why you’ll be asked to answer the same questions every time you donate and have your haemoglobin
levels checked each time as well. Staff are well trained and blood is always tested after a donation is made. Overcoming that fear
If you’re still scared about giving a donation, just remember this - you probably wouldn’t think twice about donating blood if it was your Mum, Dad or best friend who needed it. What’s more, you might even need it yourself one day. Your donation will make you feel like a hero – it’s not often you get told that! You might give a newborn child, a mother, a father, a sister, a brother another chance at life. In fact, you could potentially save up to three lives with one donation. Already a blood donor and want to do more?
Good for you! So have you considered donating platelets? Platelets are the tiny fragments of cells made in the bone marrow and are essential to stop bleeding and bruising. Platelets are needed by patients whose bone marrow is not working properly, like people being treated for leukaemia. Some platelets can be collected from a normal blood donation. However by donating in a special way; platelet donors are able to give many more platelets. One donation can provide enough platelets for two to three adult doses or up to 12 small doses for babies and young children. However, not everyone who is a blood donor can give platelets. You must: have given blood without any problems such as bruising or fainting; have a higher than average platelet count; be from blood groups A, O or B; and live close enough to a dedicated platelet donor centre (the closest to Portsmouth is based at Southampton General Hospital). The process takes around ninety minutes and you’ll be required to attend a session at least eight times a year. If you think you’ve the time, then why not contact the NBS? For further information on becoming a blood donor: Log onto: blood.co.uk or call the National Donor Helpline on: 0845 7711711 or 03001232323 Please join the Facebook group:
Give Blood-Portsmouth
Life & Style » Awards
Life & Style » Careers
Award for UPSU?
Graduating at the peak of Recession
The University of Portsmouth Students’ Union have been announced as finalists for the Equality and Diversity Award in the 2009 NUS Awards. The NUS Awards, held in partnership with Endsleigh Insurance recognise the inspirational work carried out by individual students, student media and students’ unions across the UK. Finalists were selected from almost 200 nominations. With the winners will be announced at a ceremony to be held in London on 12 June. The Equality and Diversity Award recognises students’ unions who have demonstrated outstanding achievement in ensuring that they adequately represent all student members; making the union accessible and inclu-
Olugbenga Samuel Oyeniyi
sive. On hearing that the union is in the running for the award, Caston Matewu of the union said, “This is a fantastic reward for the development of our Equality and Diversity unit at the University of Portsmouth Students’ Union and our commitment for further development. We look forward to the awards ceremony.” The Union this year has moved forwards ensuring Ethics, equality and diversity are at he heart of the union. Members of the Ethics, equality and diversity commitee (EEDC) now have places on student council. The EEDC has also for the first time been elected by a cross campus ballot with every student being able to vote.
Getting admitted into any university springs up many thoughts, wishes and aspirations, mostly centred on the assurance of a better future immediately or shortly after graduation. Most of this year’s graduates never thought of facing this kind of challenge, a credit crunch, when they were starting their respective courses. Having gone through the university system for three to four years to earn a degree of their choice, remembering the days of the nine o’clock lectures, coursework deadlines, examination fever and lots of other strain, it’s everyone’s wish and joy to graduate and start reap-
ing the benefits of all the stress sown in university during the course of the programme. But leaving university at this very present time, when the recession is in its climax, is causing alarm for graduating students. However, students in various fields have devised a thousand and one ways to deal with or avoid the effect of this recession. Some students feel the best way out of this predicament is to continue being a student, applying for Masters or PhD scholarships, just to extend their stay on campus. Other students are in the support of travelling out of the country to visit or explore the world. Others think that doing some volunteering work during this period to add more colour to their
CV will also help. It is noteworthy that this year is one of the worst times to graduate from university and search for jobs. Students apply anywhere they can think of or for anything that looks interesting and pays okay, but unfortunately there are no interviews to compensate the extent of applying. Scary. The sky looks black for young graduates looking for jobs in Gordon Brown’s credit crunch Britain. It’s an unfortunate situation. So, what options lie open to graduates of 2009? Not many; dogged perseverance is perhaps the best bet. The solution lies in our bare hands.
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Pugwash News Wednesday 20th May 2009
Life & Style
RAG fortnight has been and gone and if you missed it where were you? The only excuses that I can think of are; a) you were living under a rock, b) in dissertation hell or c) so drunk that it was all a blur! Continuing on Pompey RAG’s record breaking run this year the team put on a whole two weeks of non-stop fun based fundraising. The Fortnight kicked off with RAG-a-Muffin, where the RAG committee baked a load (I was personally elbow deep in flour for the whole weekend) of cakes by their own fair hand and dashed around the university selling their wares to hungry students. It was then the turn of VIP (That’s Volunteering In Portsmouth for those of you who are still living under the aforementioned rock) who put on a fantastic auction in the Waterhole. The event was a huge success and lucky bidders managed to get their hands on anything from toilet roll to a folding bike. RAG would especially like to thank Rebecca Lees-Smith for
A RAGtastic fortnight
organising the whole event and convincing loads of local companies to donate the auction lots. The first Purple Wednesday of the Fortnight saw the return of the RAG jail where literally hundreds of you locked up your mates for anything up to 3 and a half hours (I think most of the badminton team spent their whole night and most of their student loans in the jail that night). On Thursday we had a well deserved little sleepie in preparation for Carnival the next day. Darby and Jaffa put themselves at the mercy of the carnival goers and while Darby had to sit in a bath of cold beans (and a few sausages too for good measure) Jaffa had his whole chest and back waxed live in front of hundreds of students on the main stage. This was no mean feat as the waxers from Nirvana beauty salon in Waterlooville said that he was officially the hairiest person they had ever waxed. It was then the turn of the Netball team to show their support for RAG as they organised and ran a fancy dress netball tournament, which saw The Smarties team emerge victorious. This
was quickly followed in the evening by the RAG quiz in the Union, where Andy Mew and Raj put their bodies on the line all in the name of charity (The less said about that the better really). So Bank Holiday Monday rolled around and while most people were sleeping off the hangovers of Sunday night drinking the RAG team hit Guildhall Square dressed as various bugs, birds and beasties to prise even more cash out of the local residents’ greasy mitts. Everyone would like to thank both the Dance Squad and the Breakdancers for providing everyone with some well choreographed entertainment in front of the Guildhall steps (also thanks to the BBC for putting our RAG logo up on the big screen for all to see and admire). As the second Purple Wednesday of the fortnight loomed most of the RAG committee had started to feel the burn of putting on so many events in such a short space of time, but struggled through with the aid of energy drinks and a vast amount of Pro-Plus. This week in the Union saw the return of another RAG favourite, the slave auction, various members of RAG, sports
clubs and the sabbatical team were sold off to the highest bidders. Congratulations to the Dance Girls who went for a whopping £100 (I think this might have had something to do with the amount of skin on show at the time) and a huge thank you to Kate Hyder for organising the whole event and convincing so many people into being slaves. The highlight of the week (and surely what you have all been waiting for) was the RAG sponsored skydive. Almost 40 students threw themselves out of a plane from 13,000ft over a windy, Wiltshire airfield, for two whole days and I’m happy to say they all landed without the slightest hint of a splattering (Although I’m reliably informed that it might have led to Rob Knott’s first, but not last, gay experience). Again RAG would like to thank the Skydive club and especially Siobhan for all the help in organising the event. Last, but not least, RAG would like to say a very big thank you to Dave Livingstone who spent the whole
of RAG Fortnight (and beyond) eating carrots. Well not just carrots that would be silly, but Dave went veggie for RAG and anyone who knows him will understand what a hard task this has been. So thanks Dave and I’m sorry for waving bacon under your nose it was just banter (honest). All in all RAG fortnight was a massive success and we managed to raise over £5,000 in just these two weeks for our three chosen charities, Womens’ Aid, Diabetes UK and Hampshire and Isle of Wight Air Ambulance. Just one last thank you to the RAG committee for all their hard work and to all of you who have donated your time, effort and cash these last two weeks, you can all be sure that karma will be looking out for you.
Photos: Jacob Leverett, Mike Cooter and Krish Mistry
Pugwash News Wednesday 12th May 2009
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Pugwash News Wednesday 20th May 2009
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Pugwash News Wednesday 12th May 2009
Arts & Entertainment
PureFM Show of the fortnight Julie Lorraine’s ‘My Generation’ Bret Hitman Hart Special I have been a fan of Bret Hitman Hart since the days of 'The Hart Foundation' with Jim 'the Anvil' Neidhart. So when I found out that Bret's autobiography 'Hitman: My Real life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling' was being released here in the UK I contacted Bret to inquire as to the possibly of an interview regarding the book. 'My Generation' on Purefm was granted an exclusive interview with the Former WWF now WWE Pro-wrestling star Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart’ about his autobiography. At the time of the interview, Bret was out in Hawaii, which is ten hours behind us here in the UK, which meant that it was 10:30pm when the phone call came through. The closer
Films it got to 10:30pm the more anxious yet excited I became. These feelings were almost doubled as the phone rang promptly on time. Very soon into the conversation, though, I felt more and more relaxed, being that he has the type of personality that instantly puts you at ease. I found, from the feedback I received from listeners, that the interview came across exactly as I had hoped; as two friends having a conversation over a cup of coffee. I also received feedback from Bret, informing me that he really enjoyed the interview. This was confirmed by his agent, who spoke of the possibility of working together again in the future. During the interview, I was also privileged to arrange to meet up with Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart in London after another mammoth book signing session. There were over a thousand people young and old lining up to meet Bret and have a copy of 'Hitman' signed. Bret started signing at 6pm and finished at 9:45pm. Every fan went away on cloud nine, with a huge smile on their faces and very excited at having met their hero.
Gig La Roux 4/5 Emma Corsham
As part of the NME Radar tour we were treated to sets from The Chapman Family, The Magistrates and Heartbreak, but the star of the evening was the much-anticipated La Roux. With disco lights and unforgettable hair,
Elly Jackson and her two keyboardist opened the set with Quicksand, a synth driven pop tune which hit the crowd evoking a mass sing along. There was then a mixture of album tracks with the same very recognisable sound of La Roux, drawing to a close with In For The Kill and Bulletproof, both of which went down very well with the packed out Wedgewood Rooms audience. A must see for anyone who’s a fan of In For The Kill. Very enjoyable evening indeed and seeing La Roux live really shows why she was voted in the sound of 2009 poll.
Competitions
Angels and Demons 4/5 Tom Dolan
Given that The Da Vinci Code felt like it took longer to watch than to read the original Dan Brown novel, Angels and Demons had its fair share of critics before it had even hit the big screens. However, director Ron Howard, surprisingly, has created a fine thriller with dramatic undertones and an intriguing historical plot that should certainly keep fans content, whilst inviting a new generation of readers to pick up the books. Angels & Demons sees Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) recruited by Vatican police when secret society the ‘Illuminati’ kidnap and threaten to kill four cardinals then detonate a stolen hitech antimatter bomb under St Peter's Square during a time of catholic conclave. With the help of physicist Vittoria Vetra (Ayelet Zurer), Langdon embarks on a mad puzzle-solving dash in search of a religious path across Rome to save the day, with a somewhat ‘I told you so’ twist at the end. Given that it combines religious, scientific, political, art historical and academic lunacy in one package, Angels & Demons is at least more entertaining than the unfortunately dreary, talky effort in The Da Vinci Code that promised much more. Whilst some of the recreation of settings including that of the interior of Sistine Chapel is nothing short of a Hollywood cultural feat, some of the acting from the normally dependable Hanks and Ewan McGregor (Carmerlengo) is inconsistent. So the film is not entirely without faults, and those of the faith will pick many holes in it. However, Howard has done a fine job in making a largely enjoyable, relaxed and most importantly entertaining film that is more dynamic than its predecessor.
Games by Gamel MadWorld
Calling all University of Portsmouth students Do you think you know it all? Could you impress our knowitalls? BBC Entertainment is looking for teams to show off their knowledge and impress a panel of specialist experts to become 2009 Knowitalls Champions! If you have a team of friends, family or colleagues and think you’ve got what it takes Contact the BBC now Call: 0871 747 5200 Email : knowitalls@bbc.co.uk Auditions are set to take place soon Applicants must be 18 years or over Calls cost up to 10p/min from a BT landline (min connection fee of 8p may apply). Calls from other networks may vary; calls from mobiles may cost considerably more
As I perused the console release lists for the past couple of months I find myself surprised by the fact Sega is has published GOOD games. It seems Sega has finally gotten round to acquiring new titles and finally given up on beating the last ounces of self respect out of the decaying carcass of the Sonic franchise (and then I noticed another sonic game horizon). Platinum Games MadWorld is one of Segas’ new acquisitions and if this is an indication of the new direction Sega is taking then maybe this once great publisher can regain some of its dignity. MadWorld begins three days after the occupation of Varrigan City by unknown assailants. They’ve broken all lines of contact with the outside world and are forcing the entire populous of the city to take part in the “DeathWatch” games. The games have one simple rule; kill or be killed and are being broadcast to the games wealthy “sponsors” all over the globe. All order has brakes down and thus the killing games begin.
3.75/5
Gamel Oki
You enter as “Jack” a chain smoking, callous, chainsaw wielding “chaser” and you’ve come to kill anyone and everyone that gets in your way… in every conceivable way possible. The real challenge comes in utilising both the environment and weapons to deliver the most gruesome bloody and often entertaining end to your opponents. Oh and I forgot to mention jack has a retractable chainsaw in his bionic right arm… Through combining the chain saw, knifes, swords, spears, golf clubs, street signs, tires and fireworks (to name a few) you can quickly become a master of the killing arts. As you progress you’ll be constantly developing unique and vicious techniques to dispatch of your foes who themselves are pretty varied, ranging from cyber punk styled death dealers to zombies, to NINJAS! I have to give a special mention to the graphical style of the game as well. Taking inspiration from the Frank miller Masterpieces the game only utilizes black and white for the
most part, but then also colours the blood in red. This unique graphical style tied in with tight controls and a distinctive and refreshing hip hop themed soundtrack make MadWorld an endearing walk in a very violent park. There are weak points though, the lack of a story line, many of the bosses seem too easy, the camera controls are less then intuitive and the level maps are downright bad. So the game has its imperfections (as most games not called The Ocarina of Time do) but as still this is a step in the right direction for Sega. Bloody, foul mouthed games seem to be becoming Segas’ forte who knows with the success of this and House of the Dead overkill maybe they will give up on Sonic and continue producing very good Adult orientated games… or maybe they’ll just trying adding blood and swearing into sonic, which in all honesty would be much more in keeping with their inability to give up on a dead franchise (see “Shadow the Hedgehog”)
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Pugwash News Wednesday 20th May 2009
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Pugwash News Wednesday 12th May 2009
Sports
Softball tournament Football 3rd Team Mavericks proves a hit emphatically win annual shield
President Todler
Finally we have some news from the uni’s very own softball club, the Shafters! Softball season has at long last kicked off, starting with the Solent Softball League’s first tournament last Sunday. After a rocky early morning start with a team that had yet to play an outdoor match together this year, we had to overcome any initial nerves and work together to give a good account of ourselves. There were some particularly noteworthy performances, one being with our team captain, Big Stick, after he hit a double to the left gap; next up was Polly Pocket who came up and hit a mighty ball just over the Hurricanes third baseman. It was then Simba’s turn to bat. With runners on first and third, he hit a perfectly placed shot along the left field enabling Big Stick and Polly to reach home, scoring the first runs of the day whilst he managed to make third base. Our training finally paid off in the fourth match, a close encounter with the Sharks. With it all coming down to the final inning, Shafters were at the bat, with two outs and Rimmer on third ready to run home for the crucial point, we couldn’t ruin it. All the pressure was on next batter, me! I managed to hit it far enough for Rim-
mer to make it home, scoring us that one run we needed to earn our well deserved and long overdue victory against the Sharks. Fair enough, we weren’t as successful with the other matches, but we were up against far stronger and more experienced opponants. Despite this, determination and excellent team work saw us finish in a respectable 4th out of 8 teams. Sending a message to the Solent league 'the Shafters mean business this year!' So to all the Softball freshers; Simba, Dutchess, Franky, The Hammer, Marit, Polly Pocket, and So-So, a very well done for the start of the season and for your first match experience. The team played well as a whole, and a special mention goes out to the Shafters' very own Polly Pocket who was named the female MVP of the day. So a very well done to her on second base (a very tough position to play). The team would also like to thank Big Stick for the hard work and dedication he has put into the team. After two and a half years he has decided to resign as captain, with elections for the new captain still ongoing he will be a difficult man to replace. So after an amazing tournament and the league games starting very soon, the whole team are in high spirits and hope for a successful season. GO SHAFTERS!!
On a sunny Friday morning, 32 teams ascended on Langstone to compete in the annual 5-a-side football tournament. The tournament was set up in a Champions League style format, with the UPFC teams being drawn separately and seeded in the 8 groups. A strong committee team, made up of UPFC 1st and 2nd team players emerged as the early favourites, with the 3rd Team ‘Mavericks’ close behind. The Mavericks team was comprised of Chris Mason in midfield, Danny Seldon able to play in midfield or defence, Paul Kirtley playing a sweeper role, Dan Greenwood in goal, and Sope Lawal and Austin Ejuetami as attacking options. The team made a brilliant start to the group stages, winning the first game 6-1, and continuing the good form through the other games to win the group with maximum points and +8 goal difference. The first knock out game was to be less straightforward, as the Mavericks, full of bacon sandwiches and Big Macs, entered the pitch looking less than fresh. Having gone behind to an early goal, the game looked to be slipping away, until Seldon scored late on
to take the game to penalties. Greenwood got down well to save a pen and take the 3rds to a tough quarter final against a quick, physical side. Once again, a sloppy start meant that the boys were 2 goals down at half time. Mason, carrying a knock, came on for the second half to add some much needed creative spark. This change paid off almost straight away, as he peeled off the back of the defence and finished well having been picked out by a delicate chip from Kirtley. With the ref ready to blow the final whistle, Austin picked out Mason on the edge of the box, who again slammed the ball past the keeper and take the game to another nail biting shoot-out. Greenwood was again the hero as he saved a shot low to his right to send the Mavericks to the semis. The game started slowly, with neither team able to break down the others defence, and was goalless at half time. The 3rds began the second half well, and a good passing move allowed Austin to open the scoring. Kirtley and Seldon kept things tight at the back, and following some good play from Mason the Mavericks soon found themselves 2 goals
up following a cool finish from Sope, and coasting into the final. So it all came down to this, Mavericks vs. Committee to decide who would be taking home the coveted shield. On paper this was a difficult tie for the Mavericks, who were feeling mentally and physically drained. However, an early goal from Seldon and another from Austin was just the start they needed. The Opposition looked good going forward but every attack was being broken down by the resolute Mavericks defence, this coupled with the skill and pace of Sope up front allowed the striker to score before half time and send the mavericks in with a three goal advantage. The second half started much more evenly, with goals from Austin and Sope being met with an immediate 2 goal reply from the Committee. Any hopes of a comeback were snatched away when Kirtley nutmegged the keeper to round off the Mavericks scoring. With the game ending 6-2, the Mavericks hard work and determination had paid off for the rightful winners.
Sport » Bowling
Pompey Bowlers Win Again in Hull Sam De’athe
Sunday 26th April saw the annual Hull Quads tournament being contested. Portsmouth were participating for the first time in years, taking 2 teams on the long trek up north. After partying the night before in Hull's student union with some hardcore bowlers staying out until half 4 in the morning getting ready for the early start that day. Portsmouth were looking to continue their impressive form that had resulted in the best season for years, following a second placed finish in the nationals, winning the BUTBA Cup and numerous podium place finishing in various tournaments.
Portsmouth A (Matt Bailey, Sam De'athe, Antony Lakey and Will Nodes) had a tough task straight away being drawn first to play against Loughborough, one of the other favourites to win. Antony started off brightly scoring over 220 and the others bowled well but despite this, Loughborough managed to win by around 50 pins and get the 4 points. Meanwhile Portsmouth B (Neil Brown, Mike Chan, David Cnockaert and Chris Sherhod) won their first game and by the break had won 3 and lost 2 losing to Hull and Manchester with Neil Brown scoring a new personal best of 183 to secure one of the wins. Despite the early setback Port-
smouth A got back to winning ways with BUCS England member Antony continuing to show why he is one of the best bowlers in the country scoring numerous 200+ games contending with Ben Nutting from Loughborough for high average for the day to end up with Portsmouth A joint top with Loughborough and Hull with 4 wins and 1 loss by the break. After the break it was Portsmouth B's turn to face Loughborough and after some impressive bowling by Chris Sherhod scoring way above his average with 172 to their surprise they managed to get the win and with Hull losing at the same time and Portsmouth A just gaining a close victory against Sheffield Hallam it put them
top with Portsmouth B joint 2nd with Loughborough and Hull. In the penultimate game Portsmouth A played Portsmouth B, pulling no punches and a desire to finish in the top 3 Portsmouth B came out fighting. Making up for a below par performance in the previous games Sam De'athe scored above average with 198 but it wasn't enough as Portsmouth B got the win over Portsmouth A and the bragging rights with David scoring in the 180s and his team mates bowling well to put them joint top with Portsmouth A, Hull and Loughborough on 5 wins! The last game put Portsmouth A against Hull in what would ultimately
decide the winner. Once again Sam scored 198 as Portsmouth A gained the victory over Hull and Loughborough lost their last game but unfortunately it wasn't such good news for Portsmouth B as Sheffield Hallam stopped it from being a Portsmouth 1-2 beating them by 49 pins. In the end Portsmouth A won the tournament with 5 wins and 2 losses, unfortunately Portsmouth B finished 5th on pinfall. Individually Ben Nutting from Loughborough won high average with Antony Lakey finishing close behind. The next tournament will be Manchester Singles on the weekend of 9th May.
14
Pugwash News Wednesday 20th May 2009
Sports
Behind the Scenes with the ...
Cricket Committee
Want to see your club committee team here? Email: sportsnews@upsu.net
Name: Hannah ‘Turkey’ Hanley Role: President Comment: Is already on her way to upholding the long standing presidential tradition- on and off the pitch!!
Name: Emma ‘Useless’ Spencer Role: Vice president Comment: VP next year has no problem with sticky wickets and always ready for a good old knees up.
Name: Fay ‘Faymous’ Lucas Role: Social Secretary Comment: If she’s not propping up at the bar with a snakebite smile encouraging others to follow suit, she can be spotted encouraging potential mergers between men/womens cricket.
Name: Lizzie ‘Hobnob’ Hobbs Role: Captain Comment: Fantastic coaching from Lizzie will hit the club for six.
Name: Lucy ‘Giblets’ Gilbert Role: Vice-captain Comment: Bowled over by her performance on the pitch, if not found on the pitch she will be found raving it up in tiger.
A Scumbag splash Liam Angell
The National Student Rodeo (NSR) is the largest free style kayaking event in the world, hosted at Nottingham’s man made white water course, HPP. This is a yearly event the “Scumbags” always attended, and this year was no different. Every year there is a theme to the event, and this year was Space. It made for some very inventive costumes worn on the big party night (Saturday) as it was mandatory to dress up; there was some very sexy looking Scumbags if i do say so myself. Basic geography shows that there is quite a distance between Portsmouth and Nottingham, which lead to some fun to be had on the way. Once locked and loaded with Fresher’s boats and kit, it was off to Asda for the 10 minute supermarket dash, involving 18 Scumbags having to do their weekend’s food shopping in ten minutes and return to the mini bus, with all accounted for we set sail for the North. At NSR there are two large tents to hold the 700 strong kayakers from universities around the UK, one holds the DJ and bar, and the other another bar and large screen to show off your uni’s paddling through the year. So on arrival to the tents it was straight to the bar, and start mingling and looking out for the Scummers to start the banter. After more half-naked times of the dance floor, and DJ shout outs, it was time to retire, as some Scumbag were fortunate to get an 8 am start time! Bad times. The first day of paddling involves running the bottom section of the course while four judges give a mark out of six for performance. Now this event isn’t taken too seriously, so antics like wearing costumes on the water, swimming down the course and general mucking around on the water are highly rewarded. The bottom section of the course involves paddling through the ‘old school wave’ which is a small two footer. Trying to perform this move, the firm favourite would have to have been the ‘Harry Potter’, where you wave your paddles like a wand, then vanish under the water, a true classic. Next it was to make an eddy and hit a ball on a rope; there were some inventive ways to do this, from your traditional paddle slap to getting the boat on its back and the nose hitting it. After this it
was through a set of pole gates moving across the current of the water, to make another eddy, and fanning onto the ‘washing machine’, a larger wave where you could try and show your surf skills if you wanted. There has to be a tip of the hat to one of our Freshers, who came up with his own master plan to show off on the old school wave, but managed to get pinned on the wall and having to swim, a classic performance. The great thing about this event is the level of safety there is to help everyone out. There were about ten guys and girls suited and booted in dry suits, roped up ready to jump straight in to drag you and your boat out the water if you so happened to swim, and they did have their work cut out! After everyone had been down the course, it was time to see which group you made: expert, intermediate or novice. This then gives everyone a time for their heats, which involves going on a feature of the course and showing off your skills. As you can imagine, the experts are really good, showing off their stuff to impress the scouts and what not to try and get sponsored, while the novices have some very unique skills to score points. One girl was too cool for one kayak, so she went down in two, the animal! There was some great work by the Scumbag Fresher’s, who made the novice by dumping their boats and just jumping into the wave and getting hauled out. I have to say my own experience of the heats was one to remember; after making the intermediate grouping. It involved trying to get on a wave called the ‘looping pool’. I have to say the heats are utter carnage - there are around eight boaters in each heat all trying at the same time to hit the wave. So there I was, battling to make the wave; there was no surprise that in the matter of a few seconds I was flipped over, and drifting down the course. Then I rolled up only to face plant another boat, but that didn’t damage the hardcore spirit of a Scumbag, so after a second it was back on the water. After the heats it was time to find out who had made the finals, eat and get ready for the big fancy dress party. A tip of the hat to James who progressed from his heats to make the novice final, throwing some crazy moves on the old school wave! The second night was the biggest, involving everyone dressing up
in something with the theme Space. There were some fantastic outfits, ranging from planets and stars, to Darth Vader and the Jedis, to Milky Way bars. Dan has got to pick up a medal for designing and making his outfit an hour before the party, in the dark, which was surprisingly very dashing! We put the finishing touches on the costumes, and then it was off to the bright lights of the party tent. The party tent was filled with drinking fun, with the band ‘Splintercell’ playing a few tunes to get the groove to. The next day started with the Duo competition (two paddlers in a two seated boat), which was probably the best event to watch. It was the ten unis who had progressed through the heats, and proven to be the cream of the crop, battling it out on the looping pool wave, which is a three foot stopper; each duo try and show off their skills. As you can imagine, these boats are pretty big, so battling ten of them on one wave was utter majestic carnage and a great fun to watch! Then it was time for James to strut his stuff in the novice final. In the final there were eight paddlers who had progressed from their heats. James gave it 110%, even if he spent more time swimming than paddling! Once the finals were finished, it was time for the awards for the weekend. There were prizes for third to first place for all groups, male and female. Prizes ranged from poster decks, clothing and paddles to the major prize, a new kayak for the winning university who gained the most points. Prizes also went to the uni who had the most swims and had to be rescued (the true winners of the weekend). Unfortunately, James just missed out on the prizes; well done to everyone who picked one up, and a jealous well done to Leeds Uni for taking home the new kayak. So after a few well deserved thank yous to the organisers and sponsors of the event, it was time to pack up and leave. NSR is truly a great event, bringing universities from across the UK together to paddle and party. The scumbags are already looking forward to making a return next year If you want to check it out more, have a look on their website for a few snaps of the weekends antics at: nationalstudentrodeo.org.uk
Sport » Editorial
Silly Sports Day Returns Final Editorial Stephen Dancey
Wednesday June 3rd sees the highly anticipated return of the University of Portsmouth’s Silly Sports Day Fundraiser. The event is scheduled to take place between 1pm and 3pm outside the Union in Ravellin Park. What better way to end the year than with your mates in the sunshine with a few bevies bringing back the old school games such as egg and spoon races, wheel barrow races and to finish it off with a champion of champions tug of war match!! Much the same as last year, the event promises to be a huge success with Pure FM lined up to cover the
event there will also be a bbq on offer for some hot food and a bar serving endless amounts of purple nectar!! This event isn’t just open to sporto’s though, anyone is welcome!! It is a brilliant way to raise some extra money to help push RAG to its grand total. All you need is a team of 8 willing bodies, of which at least 3 of the 8 must be of the opposite sex. All this could be yours for £2 each (£16 per team) To enter your team, all you need to do is turn up on the day with the sufficient funds and enter your team. Any queries contact Stephen Dancey at: stephendancey@live.co.uk
Ben Endley and Chris Hewett
As the 2008/09 academic year draws to a close, we thought that there was no better time to reflect on the year that has been. For many of us, this has been a year of firsts. The AU calendar kicked off in mid-winter with the university's first ever Super Wednesday, the biggest one day sporting event ever held at Langstone. The success of that day continued into the preparations for one of the biggest and most exciting events in the University's history, a varsity day against Southampton. Despite the disappointing overall result, the day was fantastically organised and well enjoyed by
the travelling masses who made the trip up the M27. The build up to the day was spurred by the individual success of many clubs within the AU as Portsmouth got off to one of the best starts in recent memory. Despite the defeat to Southampton, the passion displayed both on the pitch by the players, and by the supporters off it, was a raw demonstration of how far the Athletic Union has developed in recent years. On the media front, we have both been working hard to improve the quality and the diversity of the content published by Purple Wednesdays. In doing this we have tried out new features, some of which have worked and been kept on, some didn't even
make it into a single issue. Things like the removal of the Gotchas have not been received well by all quarters but i hope we have provided enough enjoyable content and varied, relevant articles to keep the interest of our readers. This job has allowed us both an opportunity to get closer to a lot of different clubs and improve our understanding of how much work people put in to running every club and the AU in general. I think it shows how passionate we are about doing this that both of us are continuing our education in sport journalism next year, we hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as we have producing it.
15
Pugwash News Wednesday 12th May 2009
Sports
In this final issue of the year it’s the eternal battle of the Sports editorial team as AU Media Exec Chris ‘Chewit’ Hewett takes on Ben ‘penis out’ Endley
Chris ‘Chewit’ Hewett Club: Cricket
Name: Ben Endley
1. What has been your worst sporting moment at university? This season I’ve batted three times, got two golden ducks and one duck... 2. When was your last walk of shame? Probably in Salou, walking back to my room after waking up next to a naked northerner! 3. Who is your favourite sporting hero and why? Andy Reid, how that man blagged his way into the Premier League is anyone’s guess! 4. What was your worst fresher challenge? Probably cycling round the Leindsepleine in Amsterdam singing the alphabet song dressed as a bumble bee. 5. What has been your best sporting moment at uni? Playing in this years varsity was an awesome occasion, though i had a bit of a nightmare game to be honest! 6. If you had to marry a famous member of the same sex who would it be and why? Probably David Beckham, he could swing his balls into my box anytime... 7. If you could be in any other club, which would it be? Badders wish i was in their club so maybe just to please Cance I’d join that! 8. Tell us a joke…(but keep it clean!)... What do you call a man with no shins? Toe Knee!
Club: Lacrosse Club
Sport » Tennis
Sport » Cricket
1. What has been your worst sporting moment at university? Losing any game is pretty bad, fortunately its not a too regular occurrence for lacrosse players. 2. When was your last walk of shame? I have no shame!!! 3. Who is your favourite sporting hero and why? Peter Crouch “everything about him tells me he should be rubbish at Football. But he’s brilliant” 4. What was your worst fresher challenge? Probably fresher swapping on the way back from Bath, traffic lights turned green and i almost got run over. 5. What has been your best sporting moment at uni? Probably winning at varsity in overtime after a dodgy refereeing decision cost us the win outright. 6. If you had to marry a famous member of the same sex who would it be and why? Hmm, apparently i look like Hugo Weaving so i reckon that would 7. If you could be in any other club, which would it be? Having been stuck on a bus with them for 28 hours to Salou, definitely Hockey or Equestrian 8. Tell us a joke…(but keep it clean!)... A man walks into a bar.... Ouch!
Tennis sessions UPCC 1’s vs Havant U21’s With Summer fast approaching and the good weather (apparently) on the way, why not brush up on your tennis skills? UoP Tennis Club is offering FREE tennis sessions for any University student who wants to play the game. Whether you want to have a social hit with mates or get involved in some more competitive match play, why not come down this Friday and get involved! Langstone Bar is open until 11pm, so why not make an evening of it this Friday! For more details on this session or any other, email Trotty: andy_trotty@hotmail.com
Tanios Watfa
On a slight overcast May Day, the men’s first team took on local club side Havant U21s, buoyed by the achievement of their female counterparts the day before who recorded their first ever win with a dominating performance against Sussex University. Due to a number of players being unavailable for selection Portsmouth ended up fielding a somewhat mismatch side, this meant team captain Dan Hewitt was forced to man up and don the gloves and somehow try to fit his barnet under a helmet. Having won the toss, the mad haired one elected to bat first, much
to the delight of the lower order, who took the opportunity to wander down the road to McDonalds for a bit of lunch, whilst presidential opening batsmen Brooksy and Millsy padded up with the hope of getting the runs… Jonny Mills proceeded to dominate the young Havant squad, continually pounding the leather with his bat, and with his trademark “Sex Flick.” Before long he found himself putting together a great knock of 62 before heading for the pavillion, as UPCC racked up a total of 214 for their 45 overs, other notable performances came from Potton (26) and a sublime cameo from the Pundit Jimma Roan (25). Taking to the field after tea, the
UPCC opening bowler’s (Brooksy and Searson) went to work on the Havant batsmen, both took early wickets whilst restricting the run rate. Once both had bowled through their allotted overs, the spinners Ed Lye and Pundit Jimma Roan were called for. Ed Lye took a wicket, caught behind by Beano, leaving Havant on the back foot and UPCC looking to press on with their advantage. However the next batsmen put together a quick fire score for his team with some fine shots, which led to one the UPCC lads having a disagreement with a sightscreen after sliding to stop a boundary and overshooting the rope into the wheels, shins first. As the rain came out, UPCC’s domi-
nance of the game soon turned soggy as the Havant pinch hitter kept smashing boundaries, eventually knocking off the total set for them by 4 wickets. The Pompey lads were disappointed to have lost a game against a beatable opponent but with more games and an upcoming cricket tour to look forward to, the disappointment is not likely to last for long. Results: UPCC 214-9 J. Mills 62 J. Potton 26 Havant U21’s 217-6 B. Searson 2 wickets for 18 runs
Racquet rack up the points
Last weeks racquet-a-thon was a high profile warm-up event for the imminent merger between the University’s tennis, badminton and squash clubs. Next year the three clubs alongside a newly structured table tennis club will be known as the University of Portsmouth Racquet Club. The combined membership will make it the largest club at the University with an expected sign up of over 450 members at Fresher’s Fayre alone. The benefits of the merger include membership to all four clubs for a single fee, access to the most exciting club at Uni as well as what promises to be the best social calendar at Uni for 2009/10. Each individual club is being restructured by the newly instated committee led by Andy Trott, new ‘mixed ability’ sessions have been introduced as well as new social sessions at each of the clubs, allowing the clubs members the opportunity to regularly participate at any of the four sports. From the beginners to the elite level performers, new programmes are being introduced to drive the clubs forwards and to raise the profile of racquet sports, putting Portsmouth on the map for Britain’s elite players.
The club will not be exclusively working with racquet club members either, with the newly appointed Intramural Coordinator and the Sports Development Officer work will be done to get all students involved in sport, both racquets and other. The merger has opened a far greater range of oppotunities offered by the tennis clubs for next year. The increased hours on court each week along with the introduction of 3 new coaching staff will create a performance programme that will match those of the top tennis Uni’s in the UK. The new student leisure card that is being introduced for the team players for 2009/10 will give the team players access to the courts at any time of the day 7 days a week for a small fee, this along with the other developments make for a fascinating year at the club. The badminton and squash clubs will have the same sessions as they currently have but with new club social sessions, more hours on court and more structured coaching for all members at the clubs. The table tennis club will also benefit with new tables being budgeted for which will benefit any one at Uni who wants to get involved
with the game. And so in recognition of this partnership, the first ever raquet-a-thon was held. The day started as standard, wake up, shower, have a cup of tea and stroll in the direction of the university. Only this day was not a standard day in the life of the average student. This day was one of the most momentous days in the history of world sport. The University of Portsmouth badminton, tennis and squash clubs came together in order to determine which racket sport is the most outstandingly awesome and fantastically groovy. Meeting at 11:30 at the union, the brave competitors began sizing each other up. Squash were attempting to show off their badminton prowess outside, needless to say, we laughed… endlessly. Following a brief explanation of the rules, the different teams from the three clubs went out to play with oddly sized balls and feathered cocks. The red herring of table tennis was essentially the only determining factor between three clubs that were well practised in their own sports. The first sporting event was squash, also known as “squish”. Badminton were on first against Tennis, two close
games saw a win by each side, next on was once again Badders, this time against Squish, unsurprisingly squish won both, convincingly. Next up was Tennis vs. Squish. Again the results were a win for Squish followed by badders and tennis in last place The second sport was badminton, the most awesome and amazingly un-camp sport in existence. This consisted of two singles and a doubles game. First on were the Badders boys, who strode on the court with a distinct air of masculinity to compete with the Tennis boys at the game of kings. After the 15 minutes were up Tennis left the courts, heads hung in shame. The Squish boys then timmidly approached the courts, with knees visibly quivering. Another 15 minutes and Badders had amounted a considerable 396 points., pushing tennis into second. Third sport, Table Tennis; a new addition to the racket sports repertoire, none of the teams had much experience apart from some of the Squish team who I believe spent much of their youth in a state funded correctional facility. I won’t go into too much detail, mainly as I am trying to block the
event from my mind. Squish were quite good, Tennis were better, Badders were bad. The fourth and final sport was Tennis, a sport of sobriety. After having a serious discussion about wafting beer fumes in the general direction of the Tennis boys, therefore forcing them to forfeit through sheer drunkenness we headed on to the courts. The result was hardly surprising with Tennis winning; however there were a few upsets, the main one being one of the Squish guys beating the Tennis men’s 1st captain to take second, leaving Squish in last place.. Final Results Tennis 1st Badders 2nd Squish 3rd
9 points 8 points 7 points
After all the matches were finished we headed to the union for the results and awards, a bottle of champagne for the respective winning teams, photos and a round of applause for Andy Trott – President of the newly formed Racket Sports club, for arranging a thoroughly enjoyable day. Cheers Trotty.
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