Pugwash News - Issue 03 by Tom Worman

pugwash news Milking Apathy A NUS (National Union of Students) Governance Review has been released to explore options to conquer apathy within the NUS. The attempt is said to involve more students in the Union’s key role, which is to represent the beliefs and aims of students. The aim is commendable; however the methods suggested appear to some to be flawed. The report concedes that students are “unable to recognise the benefits that NUS brings to them beyond the discount card”, and it goes on to outline plans to decrease apathy. However, many of these changes appear to make the structure of the NUS less democratic.

student apathy is not a new concern of the NUS. A campaign currently being run is the “smashing apathy” campaign, which aims to involve students more integrally with the democratic and representation elements of the NUS. However, whilst this campaign is ongoing the NUS’ main focus of communication with students, particularly new students seems to be ‘milk it’, the aim of which is to convince students to buy an Extra card. The NUS is taking £10 for an NUS Extra card, but what are you getting for your money? 10% off at HMV, but you’d get that with your free Campus card anyway. So why are the NUS taking your £10 along with

Issue 3 Wednesday 31.10.07 upsu.net/news

Portsmouth’s official student newspaper

Jacob Leverett News editor

Inside...

up at the 02 coming Union + sudoku bans killer 03 Union Coke spotlight 04 societies and a focus on the great south run debt debate 05 student continues posters, 06 club freshers ball and sex and relationships reviews: Macabees, Ratatouille, and Radiohead Sporto Challenge and Sabb Corner On the Spot returns, Lacrosse, Coaches’ Corner

08 09 11

James Watson: Racist?

Museum feels that Nobel Prize winner James Watson's recent comments have gone beyond the point of acceptable debate and we are as a result cancelling his talk at the museum.” After the museum cancelled the talk criticism continued to flare leading Watson to make an apology. The geneticist apologized “unreservedly” for his comments and said he was “mortified” by the words attributed to him.

We are sure you have all heard of James Watson but what you are about to read is not about the student halls known as James Watson, it is about the man himself. James Watson halls were named after him because of his pioneering work in the field of DNA and genetics throughout the 60’s. He received the Noble prize in physiology/Medicine in 1962 along with two others. However, he has been known to be an extremely stubborn and abrasive character. He has often been criticised for his lack of sensitivity towards ethical implications of his work. Watson has made several outrageous comments in the past, some of which include the insinuation that

black people have higher libidos and has even suggested that if there was a gene that could make all girls pretty then it should be used. The more recent uproar is in response to his comments just before Watson was due to start a week of talks in the UK at a number of institutions including the Science Museum in London. Dr Watson told the Sunday Time’s Magazine he was “inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa ... because all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours – whereas all the testing says not really”. Since these specific comments were made they have been widely publicised in many newspapers, leaving much room for interpretation. Watson’s latest tour to promote his new book was due to commence in London however “the Science

continued on page 2

RAG Ramble

University of Portsmouth

Calling all students!

Time-waste book Back to the 80’s

Discover Portsmouth for charity with RAG

Nominated for multiple awards

Want to write for your newspaper?

It was reported last month that some companies are having to ban social networking sites, such as Facebook and MySpace, after it was discovered that employees are spending a collective 233 million hours on them every month. It is estimated that this anti-productivity could be costing companies £130 million a day. With near to 40 million users, Facebook is one of the most popular sites on the web, and it is said that students alone spend two hours each a day browsing the site.

The Union's Raising And Giving (RAG) project is running its first event of the year. The Rag Ramble is a sponsored walk taking in the sites of Portsmouth, finishing at the Palmerston Road Fireworks. RAG this year is raising money for the Macmillan Nurses and Rowans Hospice, and a third charity still awaiting nomination. A fantastic £4,500 was raised last year and the aim is to beat that this year. The event starts at the Union on 2pm on 8th November. For further information contact Kat King in the Sabbs office or log onto www.upsu.net/rag

The Times Higher Education Supplement has announced its shortlist for the THES awards 2007 and the university is being represented in two catergories. Senior Lecturer in English Literature Bran Nichol has been nominated as a Young Academic Author of 2007. The University of Portsmouth as a whole has also been nominated for its Outstanding Student Financial Support Package. THES highlighted the University’s work with previously homeless students and those that have left care as a main reason for the nomination.

Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays is the Union’s student newspaper. If you have something to shout about, from burning issues to match reports, comment to features, or you want to photograph, design or help lay the paper up, get in touch!

continued on page 2 Sarah Essabih-Eddafali & Stacey Doran

“

what are you getting for your money?

The Governance Review outlines a plan to replace the existing structures of NUS with a new Senate. The review’s description of the role and make up of this powerful group appears vague at the least, with the opportunity to be manipulated into whatever somebody's whim leads them to. The suggested changes would mean people from the NUS would represent 97% of the members, with little allowances for a typical student to rise to a position where their voice could be heard. The claimed aim to conquer

Facebook

Waste time here: www.facebook.com

Image (c) Tom Worman

Food

Cadburys have re-released the cult 80’s chocolate the “Wispa”. The confectioners have announced that the current launch will consist of only 24 million bars and there are no intentions of continuing past that point. According to Cadbury the decision was made after pressure from social networking sites such as Facebook and an on stage invasion with a “bring back Wispa” banner at Glastonbury. On last count Facebook had 13,799 Wispa fans fighting for its return. The power of public pressure appears have been fantastically successful, so what is coming back next? Space raiders?

“

This apology however came too late for Watson

“I cannot understand how I could have said what I am quoted as having said,” Watson said during an appearance at the Royal Society in London. “I can certainly understand

More info: www.upsu.net/p/2166

Pugwash News

Inbox

Wednesday 31st October 2007

News

What’s happening at the Union?

www.upsu.net/diary

Milking Apathy

James Watson: Racist?

continued from page 1

the Union’s affiliation fee? If proposals outlined this week by the NUS pass through, what you get for your money will be severely limited and the individual student’s ability to access the democratic representation and make their voice heard will be severely constrained. The current system allows for any student to put forward a motion to NUS Conference which is voted upon and, if passed, becomes part of NUS' policy. The new system proposed questions the fundementals of grass roots democracy and suggests the introdction of a collection of limits to the role played by the average student in their own Union. Very little information is being circulated to encourage students to be involved in or to understand the representation element of the NUS. Surely one of the most effective ways of destroying the levels of apathy is to invest the same time and money into educating people on their union as has been invested into the selling of Extra cards? The reports authors were “not intended to be in any way representative” and this lack of representation, it can be argued, continues throughout the review. Opinions differ widely on the Governance Revie;, some believe it is a way forward for the NUS, while others believe it had noble aims but has reached a poor conclusion. One question that needs to be asked though, is: is smashing apathy best achieved by removing peoples’ democracy? The National Union of Students were contacted for a comment but failed to respond before the print deadline.

why people, reading those words, have reacted in the ways that they have.” “To all those who have drawn the inference from my words that Africa, as a continent, is somehow genetically inferior, I can only apologize unreservedly. That is not what I meant. More importantly from my point of view, there is no scientific basis for such a belief.” This apology however came too late for Watson with regard to his employment; the damage had already been done. He was suspended pending further review. Upon hearing this news Watson returned to the US; he was quoted as saying he needed to “sort out” his job. The University named a building in 1997 after Watson as “a celebration of Professor James Watson's Nobel Prize-winning science.” However “The University does not share his views”. “His views” however, are questionable as to their context and their real meaning. In light of his apology and apparent rejection of the comments that have been laid at his feet we cannot ignore the fact that he appears, to all intents and purposes, to vehemently deny holding such opinions. If there was no recorded evidence of him having spoken these words then this situation may have been quickly resolved. However, such records can be found and it is certainly factual report that informs us of his rejection from the scientific world as a result of his comments. Considering the many institutions that have disassociated themselves with James Watson and taking into account his position within the University of Portsmouth we should, as an institutional body, question whether we should be

What are your views on this issue? Is NUS milking your apathy? Should UPSU be affiliated with NUS? Contact: comments@upsu.net Read more about this issue and join in the debate online now at: www.upsu.net/p/2428

Pugwash news & Purple Wednesdays

Editorial Team

Time Wasting

Mini Sudoku

“Small print”

Contributors

Contacting us

Introducing your editorial team

Produced fortnightly by the University of Portsmouth Students’ Union. (UPSU). Printed by Quotemeprint www.quotemeprint.com, 0845 130 0667, and now printed on 100% recycled paper - Swampy, rejoice! Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays bears no allegiance to any political party and discriminates against no-one.

Thanks for this issue go to:

To get in touch with the Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays team, please visit www.upsu.net/newsdesk, e-mail us at newsdesk@upsu.net, call us via the Union’s Media & Publications Officer at 023 9284 3657, or visit us at The Student Centre, Portsmouth Students’ Union, Cambridge Road, Portsmouth, Hampshire, PO1 2EF.

Editors

Oops: This weeks sorry goes to Chris Spackman for last issue’s Hadouken review, we missed his name off. Sorry chap!

Gina Birch, Matt Blackall, Ed Butterfield, Lucy Cater, Stacey Doran, Sarah Ealey, Tim Edwards, Sarah Essabih-Eddafali, Maz Elsahhar, Callum Harris, Katie Harrison, Dave Hickey, Fleur Homfray, Morys Ireland, Kat King, Andrew Laugher, Simon Leach, Tiffany Lee, Andrew Machin, Ben Noot, Ben Norman, Sam North, Gamel Oki, Ben Pearson, Carly-Ann Purcell, Chris Walsh, and Tom West. Also, anyone we’ve forgotten!

Editor: Laura Patricia News Editor: Jacob Leverett Design Editor: Tom Worman Features Editor: Chris Burden Sports Editor: Tim Edwards Reviews Editor: Aakash Naik Web Editor: Luke Simmonds Sub Editors:

Errors & omissions: while we take every care to verify our content, we may occasionally make mistakes. Please contact us using the details above to report any inaccuracies or mistakes.

Design: Andy Donohoe, Kev Wilkins Features: Steph Hall, Matt Blackall, Nicholas Prangnell Reviews: Tallie Kane, Ed Butterfield Sports: Peppa Barnett, Marisa May

Pugwash News

Wednesday 31st October 2007

News

Union bans killer Coke Ben Norman

At four thirty on Thursday the 18th of October the elected representatives of Union Council, the Union's highest democratic body, voted unanimously to boycott Coca-Cola products from the Student’s Union and to investigate ethical alternatives. So ended a campaign by an alliance of students, a campaign that was well into its third year and had secured over a thousand student signatures in its first year alone. The call for a boycott came in response to human rights atrocities carried out by the Coca-Cola Corporation across the world, but particularly in Columbia and India. The Latin American country of Columbia is, according to NGO’s War on Want, the most dangerous country for trade unionists and human rights activists in the world. Columbia is a nation notorious for terrorism, drugs trafficking and its right wing military government. In June 2003 Isidro Segundo Gil was dragged across the factory floor of the Coca-Cola bottling plant where he worked before being brutally executed in front of his colleagues. His only crime was to campaign for fair pay and tolerable work conditions in his role as elected trade union leader. One week later his wife, Alcira Gil, was taken from her home and also murdered. Since Gil’s murder armed militia, in the direct pay of Coca-Cola, have maintained a bloody campaign of terror, intimidation, kidnap, torture and murder. To date hundreds of Columbian workers have been murdered merely because they dared to struggle for fair wages, living standards, and their basic human rights. Perhaps the most appalling nature of these murders is the fact that they were not perpetrated by faceless terrorists, but by the Coca-Cola Corporation, whose products and logo are worldwide brands, a household brand familiar to us all. Coca-Cola’s crimes are not isolated to Columbia alone. Similar union busting tactics have been carried out across the globe in countries such as

photography by: Kevin Wilkins Nicaragua, Venezuela, Russia, Turkey and India. Indeed India presents another appalling case study of blatant human rights abuses being carried out by multinational corporations, who view themselves as being above law or basic humanity. Sprawling bottling plants in rural India drain vast quantities of water, the region's most valuable resource. This has subsequently led to crop failure, famine and potential starvation for thousands. Farmers have been forced to bore deeper for desperately needed water that is often riddled with pollutants. Furthermore Coca-Cola factories have been distributing what they claim to be fertiliser to local farmers; in reality it is a lead based and highly toxic waste. The Centre for Science and Environment based in Deli found that that the fertiliser had thirty times the amount of pesticide permitted by European regulations, and could lead to cancer and the break down of the immune system. The circulation of such poisonous material has led to alarming health problems for regions in the sub-continent where medical care is scarce at best, non-existent as normality. The strength of the campaign to boycott Coca-Cola was epitomised by Michelle Avery, a recently gradated student of history who was involved in the campaign from the beginning. As Ms Avery states “this is an ethical not a political issue and so has the potential to bring different

groups of students together.” The move to disassociate from Coca-Cola is not a campaign unique to Portsmouth. Over twenty universities across the country have, or are in the process of boycotting. The most recent victories have come in Cardiff, Manchester and Trinity Collage, Dublin. This in turn is part of a global initiative that has witnessed boycotts take place as far a field as Australia, Germany, the United States and India. This campaign sends out a strong message to corporations such as Coca-Cola, that students are no longer going to accept profit being placed before people. As students in Portsmouth we are free to stand up, without being shot down, to speak out without being silenced. Yet far too often we stay silent and it is in our silence that we are complicit. Do not spurn this freedom. Ignorance and silence may go hand in hand, but to know and to stay silent, that is perhaps the greatest crime of all. If you’d like more information on the human rights abuses perpetrated by Coca-Cola and other multinational corporations log on to the War on Want Website. Alternatively if you’ve got an opinion on the boycott, go to the forum on UPSU.net or contact Ben Norman (UPSU Student Activites and Development Officer) at: studentactivitiesofficer@upsu.net

Final exam? News Bites A new player has entered the ongoing debate regarding exams versus coursework. Gloustershire University is in the process of consultancy on scrapping exams for all first years. Varying academics have argued about the value of exams in modern assessments. Patricia Broadfoot, Gloustershire’s vice-chancellor is keen to see students enjoying their studies and believes that exams are in contradiction to that. Gloustershire are looking at suggestions involving more coursework and presentations. Gloustershire is not the first to look into scrapping exams; Middlesex University moved to 100 per cent coursework for first year students in 2004. Various contradictory views are held by academics, with some saying that coursework only based assessment is easier and that universities that use systems with less exams are deliberately being easy so as to appear more successful in league tables. Other ideas that Professor Broadfoot has tabled include scraping classifications for first years and simply working on a satisfactory/unsatisfactory system of grading. The vice-chancellor is also interested in cutting the number of options available to students, the idea being to create more cohesion to give students the ability to work together in teams more in a bid to learn from each other.

photography by: Kevin Wilkins

Things that we have learnt this week and News that doesn’t quite fit in: Ikea make jewellery // Crime is not profitable in the long term // The first Wispas were deemed too big for a lady to fit in her mouth and so they had to be resized // Darby used to work in a Hula Hoop factory // Dog showing is not the same as dogging // All news is related to Facebook // The UPSU constitution does not contain the word “freedom” once // Ginger people are related to Neanderthals // Dumbledore is gay // Our Apple Macs are temperamental // The film Ratatouille has caused an increase in demand for pet rats // Alex Harries may or may not have finally pulled at the Freshers’ Ball // It has been 25 years since the Mary Rose was raised // The optimum length of time to brew a cup of tea is 3 minutes // White space is scary // Not all of the editorial team like folk music // Tom can move his birthday // The News Editor is a puppy // “Ben Norman likes long flowery prose” // M&Ms are superior to Smarties // The clocks officially change at one minute past the bar closing // Laura (the editor) can’t spell collum...collumb...column // Pizza can be ordered to the Union // A lock of Che Guevara’s hair was sold at auction for $119,500 // Pete Hooley broke his personal best time in the Great South Run // Traffic cones aren’t fancy dress // There is nothing cool about stealing BUPA signs // Milldam may or may not have ghosts // Tom wants to go home // Printing in larger text doesn’t work // Mini Chupa Chups are less popular than Drumsticks // Maz can spell // Who is Guy and why should I give him a penny ? // capitAlisation is FleXible // Double spacing doesn’t work either // The first supermarket in the UK was in Southsea // Cadburys employs a ‘Bubble Guru’ // If you put 20 monkeys in a room they will eventually produce Pugwash //

UPSU News

Borderlines

Southsea news

University Chancellor to highlight African Poverty Debate

Short stories required

Solent Eye-sore given shock go ahead

Chancellor Sheila Hancock to attend African Poverty Debate As part of the events marking the 200th anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade, the Union's AfroCaribbean Society is hosting a debate exploring the modern ramifications of unfair trade rules and economic slavery that keep the African continent in chains. Expect top speakers and vigorous debate. The event will be attended by the new Chancellor of the University, Sheila Hancock. Ms Hancock is a well respected actress and author who has entertained audiences for over 50 years, and was born on the Isle of

We all have stories. Tell yours. However you express yourself, we’re here to make you heard.

Fleur Homfray

Wight. She received an honorary degree from the University in 2005 in particular recognition of her services to drama and has won the Laurence Olivier Award for Best Performance In A Supporting Role In A Musical for her portrayal of Fraulein Schneider in Cabaret although many of you will probably remember her as Steve Owen's mother in Eastenders. The debate will be held on Tuesday 6th November at 6 pm in LUX All students are welcome to attend, just make sure you bring your campus card.

This year we are looking for short stories (max 1000 words), travel writing, poetry, novel extracts, “Flights of Whimsy” (strange or unusual writing), and art (including black and white photography. photos essays or illustrations). Email : Borderlines08@googlemail.com or get in touch with Sam North for more information. First Proposal Deadline is 1st Dec 2007.

Earlier this year city chiefs turned down the application to build a 180ft ‘Solent Eye’ on Clarence Pier, however, renewed plans have been submitted to the council this week and have been passed. Despite this fact, it has not prevented the original plans being resubmitted, Jill Norman (Director of Clarence Pier) now believes that they have a chance at acceptance. The plan which has been accepted will stand at 130ft and will contain 30 scenic pods, whereas the proposed structure would be 180ft

high with 40 pods. It is hoped that it will help to give Southsea the tourist boost that it desperately needs. Although the plan seems sound at first glance, it is important to remember that the particular stretch of coastline is one of those most at risk in the UK, experts predict that the area will be underwater within 30 years. Considering the fact that the estimated cost of the Eye will be £2million it seems like an extravagant use of money on an idea that has already been used in London, not only would the Eye be costly but it can never claim to fit the ethos or traditional image of the Pier.

Pugwash News

Wednesday 31st October 2007

News and Features

The Great South Rain

10 Years of Jobshop

The annual Great South Run took place on Sunday 28th of October, the event attracted about 18,500 runners despite heavy rain and cold temperatures. Amongst the 18,500 was one of UPSU’s own. Adrian Fraguela the Media and Publications Officer 2006/07 took on the challenge with his final position a honourable 1878th with a time of 1 hour 39 minutes. The Portsmouth student was raising money for Macmillan Cancer Support. Fraggy chose the charity because he “thought this was a great way of raising awareness and helping the cause” Fraggy‘s time was a mere 52 minutes behind the men’s race winner Luke Kibet; he described the run as “immense”. The annual event attracts not only world class competitors but thousands of everyday people looking for a challenge. The event caused considerable travel disruption across the city with many roads being closed for the race itself and the holding areas. The event brings vital business to the local tourism industry and the dedicated runners and their supporters raise considerable amounts of money for local and national charities. For more information and to find out how to enter next years event go to www.greatrun.org

The Union’s Job Shop is celebrating ten years of helping students find part-time employment, long term opportunities and volunteering positions. Through the year the Job Shop will be celebrating with prizes and events. The staff not only aid with finding employment but also offer advice and information on students’ employment rights and tax issues. The Job Shop will also be highlighting National Student Employment Week from the 5th–9th November and will demonstrate the benefits of students working and the skills that can be gained from parttime employment. There will be stalls and information available during the week and details will be advertised online at:

photo by: Alan Brookland on Flickr

www.upsu.net/jobshop

The Union also have a Copyshop which provides photocopying , heat binding, spiral binding, fax service and University Hoodies and T-shirts. www.upsu.net/copyshop

Gaming IS good for you A survey has shown that playing a computer game for fifteen minutes a day raises childrens’ concentration and maths skills. A school in Dundee took part in the survey, with pupils using Dr Kawashima's More Brain Training game on Nintendo DS. The results showed an average increase in concentration for the pupils compared to a control group who had no access to the game. Dundee city are currently exploring expanding the scheme to a wider range of schools. The results show that playing computer games does increase concentration, however the survey did not demonstrate that three hours of Pro Evo before class will help your grades.

Society spotlight

Dance Society

Get fit, have fun with street salsa Article by: Steph Hall

“Get Fit, Have Fun!” That’s the best way that I would describe Street Salsa. I’ve been here for a month now and decided that with the hectic pace of the social (and by that I mean drinking) side of uni, I should balance it out with some form of exercise. Personally, the thought of going to the gym fills me with dread and to be honest, I just can’t be bothered to exert that much energy. So what else is there? I’ve always wanted to learn Salsa after watching far too many

episodes of a certain celebrity dancing show, and combined with the attitude of Street dance it seemed ideal. I was curious as to how it worked and so I went along for my first experience of Street Salsa. When I arrived, I was warmly welcomed and the room was quickly split into two groups. Seeing as I have had no previous experience (bar drunken dancing in the Union after too many pints of the infamous snakebite), I opted for the street dance. The pace was extremely relaxed and the instructor showed us simple steps as often as we needed until we had it. We then put these

together into a small routine with music and after a few attempts I had it…I think. An hour had gone so fast and I could have continued for an hour more, but the class was over. It was a great experience to see how easy it is to follow a sequence when it’s broken down into easy-tofollow stages, as well as being surrounded by other people who are enjoying it as much as I was and laughing about it when we couldn’t get the steps right. I would recommend this class to anyone, and I will definitely be returning for the next session. Enjoy!

Like a beacon of light shining through the fog of laziness, the Dance Society strutted their fantastic stuff at the Freshers’ Fayre. Being a guy, I didn’t know if the Dance Society would really appeal to me; it had always seemed like a society for girls. But a group of my girlfriends persuaded me to go along and I have to say: I had so much fun! We start doing this ‘warm-up’ and I’m trying my hardest not to sing along while trying to keep up with the choreography. It was only a warm up and trust me, by the end of it, I was sweating. I knew that this was not going to be easy!

Of course, seeing a toned, athletic choreographer do the routine always looks better than a 6 foot 1, out of shape average Joe. And lucky for me, there’s that wonderful mirrored wall to show me all my mistakes! Now I’m hooked. It was great to have a hard work-out while having a great time (I couldn’t walk for three days last time). So, if you see a drunk guy stumbling around next time you’re out, trying to follow a routine to the latest hip hop tune, then don’t laugh because it’s probably me you’re laughing at.

Pugwash News

Wednesday 31st October 2007

Features and Comment

An Englishman in France Tom West

“

...thanks to the ludicrously delicious bakeries dotted around the place...

Tom West, a foreign exchange student from the University of Portsmouth, tells us all about his adventures in Toulouse, France, in his new regular column. Hello there! Well, the first thing I should do is tell you a bit about myself: I’m Tom, I’m twenty-two, and I’m a native of Portsmouth. During the two years I’ve been at university I haven’t met many other natives and I still haven’t quite figured out how special that makes me feel... I’m studying BA Applied Languages, and while it may not carry the same street cred as other degrees, studying it has allowed my naughty side to flourish – I use my linguistic powers to eavesdrop on foreign people in the jam aisle in the supermarket, which usually ends up with me hearing things I really wish I hadn’t! I’ve just started my third year, for which I’ve been exiled off to the countries whose languages I’m studying; so I’m here in Toulouse, France for Semester One and I’ll be in Granada, Spain, for Semester Two. I hope to use this column to communicate back to you lovely people some of the surrealism that I’ve already started to experience! Why should I be the only one to suffer! My first month here has seen me battle to turn the pig’s ear of my halls room into a silk purse Sarah Jessica Parker would be proud to flash around NYC. I’ve earned my first battle scars as an exchange student, which have mainly consisted of liver scarring through drinking copious amounts of alcohol (which isn’t as cheap as they’d have you believe) and bruises from taking the busy early-morning metro into uni (the French just love to shove at half-past seven in the morning!) I’ll admit I got really homesick

during my first week, but, luckily, this was remedied by the fascinating people of Toulouse – there’s this one man who just walks around the town centre all day singing, at the top of his voice, “I like to move it move it!” And nothing else! I like people like him, they turn a frown upside down, if you know what I mean. I’ve also put on about three pounds thanks to the ludicrously delicious bakeries dotted around the place; croissants, crepes and baguettes may taste lovely but I’m now convinced they were sent here by the Fat Thigh Fairy to annoy me and, well, make me fat. Also, bizarrely, the neon sign on my forehead that says ‘Tourist Information’ must have translated itself into French as I keep getting asked for directions everywhere I go! I’ve never understood why fate chose me to be the teller of all things to all people, but hey, it’s nice to have a purpose. The thing is, because I still don’t completely know my way around I just look at whatever street’s behind me, point down it and say, “That way!” Well it makes their day more interesting! And I won’t talk about us knocking them out of the rugby (sniggers)... I had to pretend I was Spanish for three days afterwards; the shame of our victory was so much!

Got a Problem?

Stereotypes

Photography by: Tor Lillqvist on flickr.com

A problem shared is Boy-ladies wanted a problem halved

Pugwash is here to help! With our Agony Aunt and Uncle we will give you honest, frank and objective answers to any questions you might have. We are happy to provide solutions to anything from sex and relationships, to education and your massive workloads. With any questions concerning hangovers or lost underwear, we will need a full description of your night out! Please send us a quick email detailing your problems to features@upsu.net and we will ensure all printed questions remain completely anonymous.

Fed up of being pushed into a stereotypical role? Have you changed society’s view of what a woman’s career is meant to be? We all assume that this is an age of equality, but are you treated differently just because you’re trying to do a “man’s” job? Do you feel discriminated against, or do your classmates treat you like “one of the lads”? We want to hear from you! We’re looking for girls on a predominantly ‘male’ course to share their experiences. Equally, if you’re a guy studying something “girly”, get in touch. Get in touch: features@upsu.net

Comments Fiery Alarms Welcome to the Comments Corner. This is your opportunity to comment on whatever we have written. If you think we have said something you disagree with we can share your views with the rest of our readers. The aim of Pugwash News is not only for us to inform you of what is going on, it is an opportunity for a debate and discussion, and to hear your opinion and share your views. If you have any comments or want to reply to an article E-mail: comments@upsu.net

I know that every Fresher whines about this, but if there is one disadvantage of living in halls it is fire alarms! I love Harry Law, but for the first fortnight of term I was woken rudely every second night by a fierce wailing. Though the frequency has decreased, they are still happening more often then I would like. Standing around in the cold at night is neither entertaining nor healthy – people blame Freshers’ Flu on too much partying, but I’d rather attribute it to a lack of sleep. I’m sure some of the fire alarms were officially organised and thus

necessary (we’ll all admit that with student cooking, fires are in some cases a very real danger), but I’m also sure some of them are set off by silly pranksters, who think for some reason that it is “hilarious” to get everyone ticked off by waking them up in the wee small hours of the morning. It is not funny, and I hope that whoever is letting them off – be they Harry Law residents or warring neighbours, not naming any halls in particular – either smartens up or grows up very soon, so we can all get some rest. Eddy McDougall

Student Debt Debate Morys Ireland of the Union’s Socialist Students Society has responded to a front page article in Issue 1 of Pugwash and has added further debate to the ongoing discussion regarding student debt and invites us all to make a difference. “A study conducted by Barclays bank has estimated that by 2010 the average university student’s debt upon graduation will be an astonishing £33,708, if the current system of top-up fees remains in place. In addition to this rising living costs have meant (according to the government endorsed ‘Student Income and Expenditure Survey’) around 60% of students are forced to seek employment during term time. The survey found that the students who are most dependent on paid work and who work the longest hours are those from poorer families. Those students who were unlucky enough to start university in the academic year 2006/7 will end up being in 25.5% more in debt than those who started a year later due to the increase in the maximum tuition fee a university can charge, now £3070 per year. Far from recognising how important the problem of student debt is, the government have tried to shift the blame onto students themselves!

A Department for Education and Skills paper entitled ‘Student loans and the question of debt’ claims that the largest increases in an average student’s spending in recent years are “related to expenditure on non study related travel including holidays, and personal expenditure including mobile phones”; With the largest increase in expenditure apparently coming from entertainment, which includes “sports, hobbies and…” – yes, you guessed it – “…alcohol.” This is all a rather bleak outlook, but we have to remember that it doesn’t have to be this way. We live in the fifth richest country in the world and every student should be entitled to free, good quality education from nursery to university. With funding available to spend £25 billion on the first stage of the Trident nuclear weapons replacement program, its clear central government has the resources to provide free higher education but would rather spend taxpayer’s money on weapons of mass destruction. Students need to organise local and national campaigns for free education to raise awareness of just how big the problem of student debt is, an economic time-bomb waiting to go off. The NUS, with millions of members nationwide, has the resources and potential to build a huge cam-

paign against tuition fees. However the current pro-government NUS leadership are refusing to organise any national campaigns, more concerned about securing future jobs as new Labour MPs. Students need to take matters into their own hands and build a mass movement against fees, alongside sympathisers in the trade union movement and local communities. With the government planning to remove the cap on tuition fees, allowing universities to charge whatever they like, and to sell off the Student Loans Company to private investors a mass anti-fees campaign has never been more urgently needed. The Socialist Students society has organised a meeting on the 7th of November upstairs in the Union on the subject of ‘free education for all.’ The meeting starts at 17:30, is open to anyone, and will be addressed by speakers including President of Portsmouth Student Union Elle Gray as well as guest speakers from outside the university. The aim of the meeting is to raise awareness and encourage debate about the problem of student debt. If you care about the welfare of yourself and other students come along to the meeting and learn how you can make a difference.” More: www.socialiststudents.org.uk

Random is good

A Hallowe’en tale* Do you study at Milldam? Then beware, because it’s been revealed that one person a year mysteriously dies and joins the haunting of predecessors, believed to be mainly comprised of ex-students of the old Portsmouth Free School situated on the site of the current Milldam building. Back in October 1883, on Hallowe’en night, Thomas Miller, just seven years old at the time, was reported to have fallen from a second floor window, being killed instantly on impact. After months of investigation, it was concluded that it was the result of a ‘freak accident’.

Random cat of the week... No more was said about it, and it was forgotten. Until the same time the following year, when another student, Emily Baker slipped and fell down a flight of stairs, breaking her neck and perishing. Again, it was put down to a ‘freak accident’, and wasn’t linked to Miller’s death. Every year since then, one student that has walked the halls of Milldam has been condemned to join the ghosts of students past and haunt those very same halls forever. So watch out tonight - you could be next! * May not be true... Ahem...

WHO: The UPSU Rugby Club WHEN: Training happens throughout the week WHAT: Rugby 2nds Team plays Sussex 1sts in a rugby game PHOTO: Tom Worman

Pugwash News

Wednesday 31st October 2007

Features

Rugby balls at the Freshers’ Ball Words: Callum Harris Photography: Tom Worman

Last Saturday, the majority of first years came together, dressed appropriately in suits and dresses, holding pints of snakebite and shouting at the top of their lungs whilst staring at a huge screen positioned on the far wall of Lux. The rugby World Cup Final was upon us, coinciding nicely with Freshers’ Ball. However, a combination of unfortunate events detracted from this highly anticipated night. Primarily, the original price of £15 per head, later reduced to nothing, had put off many students, who chose instead to put their money to better use and visit friends and family back home, resulting in a slightly depleted turnout. Several have subsequently commented that they would have turned up had they had prior

warning that the price was to be entirely disregarded and the event would go ahead without an entry fee. Several days warning is not long enough when promises have been made already.

“

an occasion which could be enjoyed by anybody

Secondly, a double act by an Irish referee and Australian video referee prevented England from returning with the Web Ellis Trophy and a number of smartly dressed individuals vacated the Union after the match with disgruntled looks on their faces. The Freshers’ Ball was enjoyable for all that stayed, though, and the variety of music on offer meant this

was an occasion which could be enjoyed by anybody; an occasion which also recognised that this university has a fantastic diversity of culture. It was great seeing everybody making an effort to look nice, even if that effort only extended as far as a shirt and tie. It was also a fantastic opportunity to meet new people and possibly make a few more friends. One pleasant observation I made was that, in formal dress, there were no obvious barriers which are typically present due to different dress senses. Congratulations are due to the organiser’s, I am looking forward to next years event. Perhaps in the future a lowered price would avoid some of the problems encountered this year. Needless to say, this was one of the most enjoyable nights which has been hosted by the Union so far. My thumbs are pointing upwards.

Think she’s better off alone? Words by: Tiffany Lee Photography: Tom Worman

Welcome to Pugwash’s new Sex and Relationships coIumn. Every fortnight we will be bringing you the best sex advice that Portsmouth students can offer. This issue we hear from Tiffany Lee, on female stupidity in our choice of men.. I bet you know someone that’s in a relationship with a loser. I do. My best friend is insistent that her new man is perfect and blissfully ignores his drug problem and mental instability. And there are hundreds of cases like hers, and I’m sorry to say the victims are mostly girls. And I’m no exception. When I was sixteen I was in a relationship with an absolute **** (fill in as you wish). All my mates had boyfriends and I gained extra status by the fact that mine was a good five years older than me, a golden ticket to popularity in my friendship circle. And it was fantastic at the time. It made us more mature and superior to the boys and girls around us; we had wheels and they didn’t. Most importantly we now had a sex status. Unconsciously, we had returned to the mentality of Jane Austen’s world where women became respectable with a marital tie. But behind the gloating grins and teenage kicks, the sad reality is we were all extremely unhappy. The boyfriends were controlling, manipulative and poison to our impressionable minds. A phase, perhaps, that all women go through at a young age that is the very reason why they are conditioned to falling for idiots, not to mention the coal on Jeremy Kyle’s fire. Now as I look back on that situation, seeing some of the girls from school still suffering in these relationships, I realise how lucky I was to not only

“

But behind the gloating grins and teenage kicks, the sad reality is we were all extremely unhappy

escape having my prospect of future happiness shot in the heart, but to identify this lethal pattern. I would definitely not be in a happy, loving relationship if I hadn’t. Unfortunately, our playground mentality to relationships goes way beyond teenage rebellion. My mum’s friends are evidence that this madness is a continuous circle of female passivity and an unexplained craving for drama. Recently coming out of a seventeen-year marriage, a forty year old woman threw herself straight into an abusive, suffocating relationship with a man that represents the polar opposite of her loving husband. Would this be the state in which we’d find Austen’s characters if her books were a chapter longer? Perhaps our tales of puppy love have more lasting significance than we realised. Could our first relationships provide the framework for the future? Do we all just want to remain gossiping school children in a world free of stress and responsibility? Or is it time that we gained the confidence to be happy and single? Surely that would be the better option! So here I am watching history repeat itself. My nineteen-year-old friends are caught in the proverbial mousetrap. I have to ask myself what I should do; should I intervene and play the ‘good friend?’ Or let them learn the lessons for themselves, making sure I’m around afterwards to pick up the pieces? I guess there’s little you can do or say in a situation like this, except wait for the cat to catch its prey and hope the mouse survives, stronger than ever.

Pugwash News

Wednesday 31st October 2007

Reviews .. in association with

Music ‘In Rainbows’

a seven minute dramatic crescendo. Coheed & Cambria’s pretentiousness will put people off, but with so much imagination and inventiveness they’re more than worth your time.

Theatre

Radiohead (Album)

‘2 Hearts’

Ed Butterfield

Kylie (Single)

Rosie Kay Dance Company presents... The Wild Party

Rating: Tallie Kane

Rating: Tiffany Lee

From the second you hear the opening hand-claps you can tell it’s all quite cabaret, something which we’re used to hearing from Kylie’s previous pop offerings. There’s no doubt this will keep many die-hard fans happy, but it doesn’t leave much for the new fans to get excited about. Unfortunately, ‘2 Hearts’ is not the revamp of her career that we were all expecting. It’s easy to see where she’s tried to go with this, as it’s hard to ignore the rise of the electro back beat in pop music, but somehow it doesn’t quite hit the spot this time. Sorry love.

Soon-to-be dramatic legend Rosie Kay has hurled at us a play that cannot be silenced. A fantastically shambolic orgy of improvisation and outstanding theatrical composition, I can honestly say I didn’t blink once. Based on a poem of the same name by Joseph Mancure March, the original dialogue takes a back seat to the mesmerising movement of the actors. To the seductive rhythm of an onstage jazz band, the performers entangle themselves in a frenzied mess of groundbreaking choreography that epitomises sexual tension, jealousy and betrayal. Every step added to the audience’s apprehension of the climatic sex scene that we all expected, but could never have predicted. This is the first play I have seen that has conquered the space between the audience and the stage so successfully. Like a continual reel of film, the performers only took off their hypothetical masks for the closing ovation, where we are forced to remember that we are simply spectators to this devised masterpiece. In effect, this play is so post-modern; it’s in a dramatic persuasion of its own. Watching this was like spending an hour and a half in the Rocky Horror mansion with the cast of Skins. We got drunk with them, suffered the consequences by their side and were left sashaying around the lamp posts of Portsmouth. And we’d only had a Coke...

Rating:

Radiohead are a difficult band to pin down. From album to album they seem to have the freedom to move at ease through genres and create constantly changing, effortlessly interesting records - each new album carrying certain themes forward, whilst throwing something new into the mix. ‘In Rainbows’, the band’s seventh, capitalises on the movements made by 2003’s ‘Hail to the Thief’, whilst incorporating their electronic heritage, resulting in a beautifully human mish-mash of riffs, bleeps, strings and vocals. Beguilingly understated opener ‘15 Step’ burns slowly, and sees agitated drum machines juxtaposed with softly flowing guitars. ‘Bodysnatchers’ writhes, crackles and tears itself apart under a torrent of distortion and cries of ‘I see them coming! I see them coming!’. ‘Nude’, a developed demo which has been kicking around since the ‘OK Computer’ era, is as heart-wrenching a song as you’ll hear this decade, buried deep under a suffocating bassline and Yorke’s terrifyingly beautiful falsetto. Some find Radiohead too sketchy. Some find them too depressing. These people are idiots. It’s with ‘In Rainbows’ that Radiohead maintain their title of one of the world’s most forward-thinking bands, and indeed one of the best. There is no reason why you should not own this album.

‘Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV: Volume Two - No World for Tomorrow’ Coheed and Cambria (Album)

‘Nantes’ Beirut(Single) Rating: Josie Afolabi

Nantes, the opening track from the highly anticipated new album “The Flying Cup Club”, sees Zach Condon approach the romantic edifice of France, a step along from the Balkans accolade “Gulag Orkelstar”. A misleading simplistic organ jingle leads the listener into thinking “this will be another soppy love sonnet” when in fact it is, but not in the conventional sense. Condon has a disregard for lyrics, much preferring to project his meaning with harmonies. Violins, cornets, piano and trumpets all twist and turn to create the illusion of longing and concern, whilst his vibrato lulls all who care to pay attention.

Gigs Cinema

The Maccabees

Rating: Andrew Laugher

Ratatouille

Unfairly lumped with the ‘Emo’ tag, Coheed & Cambria have often been overlooked as just another skinnyjean wearing, floppy-fringed brigade that regurgitates the same bland “emotional” music over and over again. The reality is that their previous three albums have been epic concept-based stories, featuring progressive technical wizardry with pop-infused choruses. This album follows on in the same fashion, with glam-rock and progressive elements strewn throughout the extravagant lyrics and intricate weaving guitars. There are plenty of grandiose yet catchy moments, with ‘No World for Tomorrow’ hitting hard whilst remaining melodic, and the ridiculously overblown ‘Gravemakers and Gunslingers’ that could have come straight from the 80’s. Whilst they don’t always hit the mark there’s certainly enough here to keep you interested, none more so than the five-chapter salvo of songs that brings the record to a climax, made up of choirs, radio-friendly rock and

Rating: Chris Walsh

Like Disney/Pixar’s recent offerings, this Paris-set tale of Remy - a rat with Gordon Ramsay’s skills and the looks of a young Roland Rat - opens with a cracking short. An alien-themed appetiser, it perfectly introduces the gentle humour and visual style of Brad Bird - the director and writer of ‘The Incredibles’. With an impressive CV, Bird faced an audience hungry for more. Thankfully, Ratatouille (pronounced ‘Rat-a-too-ee’), doesn’t leave a bad taste in the mouth. Instead, as Remy follows his culinary ambition by helping a lowly kitchen worker become a chef, the recipe is sweet, the journey smooth and the characters exquisitely moulded. With a smorgasbord of voice talent, not least of all Peter O’Toole as a ghoulish food critic and Bird himself as his butler, Ratatouille ‘c’est magnifique’!

Pyramids Centre Rating: Ben Noot

Returning to Portsmouth for the last time before the new album is finished, The Maccabees headlined the Pyramids and brought with them an eclectic bunch of supports. Talk Taxis were first to hit the stage but unfortunately, due to the utter lack of cash points anywhere near the Pyramids, I missed most of their set. The three songs I caught got the kids down the front dancing about and the bar flies nodding their heads. Laura Marling and her band then attempted to treat us to some beautiful alt-folk - well she treated those in the crowd who weren’t cavemen; shouts of ‘get your tits out’ should be met by a punch in the face, not copy cat shouts. Going against the grain at a gig is no bad thing in my book and the four or so songs that were played created at least one new fan, sometimes it’s nice to relax before getting sweaty. Derrick Meins was next. He was the MC for the night and mumbled poetry at the audience and then shouted at us whilst

playing an acoustic set. Laura Marling should have been on for longer. The Maccabees walked on stage, heads held high; they know the crowd is here for them, and they’ve come a long way since the last time they played here with The Futureheads. Since then they’ve released successful singles and their debut album. They’ve also played lots and lots of gigs and it shows! Gone is the slightly nervous and shy band of old, guitarist Felix and singer Orlando repeatedly thanking the crowd for getting them into the position to make a second album. The band kicked off their set at a fast tempo and the crowd went nuts, singing back every word from the album and E.P tracks. That is until the band treated us to a new song, featuring Orlando on the accordion. The song went down a storm and everyone danced about with big fat grins on their face. The band closed with "First Love" and sent everyone young and old into the night looking forward to the next album, and bigger and better things from these guys.

The Maccabees All photos by: Andy Donohoe

“

a beautifully human mish-mash of riffs, bleeps, strings and vocals

Radiohead - In Rainbows

Idlewild Pyramids Centre Rating: Andy Donohoe

“Tuesday night – it’s nice” was the first thing said to the crowd by Roddy Woomble, Idlewild’s lead singer. This pretty much sums up the gig for me, which is not necessarily a good thing. The Pyramids were the emptiest I have ever seen - less than half full - and before the headliners came on, most of the small crowd were sitting around, almost like waiting for a bus. There was no anticipation or excitement, maybe because Idlewild have been around for what seems like too long. “Nice” is the perfect way to describe their music – melodic rock, not offensive and occasionally a bit catchy – but ultimately boring, especially live. I felt like they were plodding through the set, which contained most of their big songs that did nothing to stir anything inside me. I honestly think that Idlewild have had their time, having just released a ‘best of’ and unable to fill a medium sized venue. A lot of loyal fans and a back catalogue of emotive British Indie rock, yes, but are they still relevant in today’s ever changing and forward thinking music scene? I’m afraid not.

The Maccabees

Last FM

The Music Revolution Coming Next Issue

Next issue we plan to launch an exciting new feature in the shape of a chart. The best part is, it’s controlled by all you lovely people! Here is our simple guide on how to be a part of it.

Step 1 - Register Find a computer and get on the inter-web, then head over to www.lastfm.com and do all the usual registration bits, like create a username and add a profile picture.

Step 2 - Download the Last FM Application It’s simple; do this right after to you register. This application is essential for recording all your listening habits, it can also work with your MP3 player and has a built in radio, that selects songs you might like; nice !

Idlewild.. past their prime?

Step 3 - Join ‘The Pugwash Chart’ Click ‘user’ at the top of your page. Then click ‘groups’ in the search bar. Enter ‘the Pugwash chart’ , then click join group. That’s it! You’re done! Check back here next issue for our first ever chart!

Pugwash News

Wednesday 31st October 2007

Features

Sporto Challenge

Editorial

It’s back!

Laura Patricia Editor, Pugwash News

I’m beginning to wonder what I’ve let myself in for. Two weeks ago I stood up at a meeting and asked to be voted editor of the new Pugwash/Purple Wednesdays Newspaper; I talked about my passion for writing and my experience on my old secondary school paper. This experience was putting out three papers in a year, whenever we could be bothered really, and spending twenty-four hours straight in the school one day in April for the NIAD (Newspaper In A Day) competition. I had a proud Scot to nag me about deadlines, a gaggle of small underlings to boss about, and a mad half-Welshman to bring me McFlurries and banter on demand. We won NIAD, so I guess I had convinced myself that if I could handle that, I could handle anything. Thus far, I think I’m doing okay... I’ve not killed anyone yet, despite

certain temptations. And, though we still have plenty of time to jinx it, there haven’t been any major issues with the paper itself. Fingers crossed it stays that way! Putting a paper together is like having a twelve page jigsaw - one where you have to take politics, personalities, and punctuation into account. First it seems like you’ll never fill all that space, then it turns out you have too much to fill it, and you end up having no idea what’s in the paper anymore, or where it went. Add to all this the fact that I’m having to use a Mac instead of Windows, and you can begin to see why my stress levels are through the roof! And our media editor, Alex Harries, wants to move us up to sixteen pages in the next few months. But I’m also enjoying myself. I’d like to thank everyone who voted for me - and I know it was a big thing to trust your paper to a Fresher, but I hope I don’t let you down - by turning out the best paper we can. Apparently I am supposed to introduce myself to you here.

There’s not much to tell really. I’m a Canadian who’s lived in Aberdeen, Scotland for the last six years - oil brat and proud of it! I’m attempting to make a long distance relationship with a guy in Aberdeen work. I have an adorable Norwich Terrier at home, called Pepper, whose photo I will gladly flash at anyone who asks. I’m tee-total, a spelling and grammar bitch, and totally dog mad; around March I will try to take over the paper with Crufts news, and may or may not succeed. I’m here doing a degree in English and Creative Writing. My role at the paper includes blame taking (for everything), nit picking, appeasing and designing. My main role really, and I set myself up for this, is “red penning” (yes, it’s a verb), ie going through the paper with a fine tooth comb to find every missing or superfluous comma and making sure the fonts all match. I hope I caught them all! Enjoy your third issue of Pugwash, and happy Halloween!

Sabb Corner

Andrew Machin

Kat King

Ben Norman

Education and Representation Officer

Student Support Officer

Activities and Development Officer

So it’s now come to that point in your first semester where you’re probably running low on money and wondering how many pints of Snakey B you can afford with £12.76, as that’s all you’ve got left in your account. Well don’t fear; to save money you can spend some of your spare time actually doing work for your course, whilst thinking what you like and don’t like about it. All the course reps have now been trained and should be asking you (the student) what you like and dislike about the course that you are paying so much for. So remember, tell them all your concerns and they will do something about it. Alternatively come into the Sabb Office and see me or contact me at edandrepofficer@upsu.net On another note, the first Course Rep Executive Meeting takes place on 1st November at 4pm in Function Room 2 in the Union. All course Reps must attend! We will be electing the positions for the upcoming year and going through some issues that have already arisen. Take care and remember: go out on a Friday to maximise the £12.76 you’ve got left as it’ll buy you 8 pints of Snakey B! As for the 76p left over, you could always as well give it to a good cause like R.A.G!

Hi everyone... Use it. Keep it. Love it! is the name of my first union campaign, which aims to get more of you guys participating in UPSU activities... not just hitting the bar! Things like sports clubs and societies, volunteering, student training (STAND), media (writing for the newspaper or dj'ing on Pure FM!), RAG (raising and giving... all in the name of charity!) and PUTTING ON YOUR OWN EVENTS! If you want to get involved in any of this stuff, or find out more information, just drop into the sabbatical office (the student resource centre at the Union) or send an email to studentsupportofficer@upsu.net. You can also check out the Facebook groups!

Ninety years ago, a group of people determined to overthrow dictatorship triggered what was perhaps the most important event of the Twentieth Century; the Russian Revolution. Historians have long argued over the consequences of the revolution. One thing is certain: at no other point in human history had there been such an opportunity to start again, to create a fair and equal society based on men’s needs, not men’s greed. In 1917 Socialism was alive, it was well and it was promising the liberation of all. In 1989 the Soviet Union collapsed. Many jubilant commentators heralded this as the end of history, the death of ideology. But Socialism is not dead, it has survived and continues to call for a better world. As you read this column, look at the world around you. Look at the inequalities, at the greed, the wars which ravish the Middle East and the exploitation which overshadows Africa and Latin America. See the world for what it truly is and then ask yourself: is there an alternative? You may not believe that socialism has the answers to these problems. All I ask is that you acknowledge that these problems exist and that you join me in questioning what is to be done. As students it is our responsibility to question, to ask “why?” It is my hope as a democratic socialist that you never stop doing this.

Back in the good old days of Purple Wednesdays, a tradition was born: the Sportos Challenge. Every fortnight we pit two of our sportos against each other in a fast paced Q&A session to see who’s cooler. Oh, and they have to draw a donkey too... Decide for yourself. Here it is, the first ever Sportos Challenge in the new Purple Wednesdays! Simon ‘Darby’ Leach

Andrew ‘Jaffa’ Machin

Sports Officer

Education and Representation Officer

Have you ever...

Drank /spent more than £100 on alcohol for yourself in one day? Yes

Drank /spent more than £100 on alcohol for yourself in one day? Unfortunately yes, about 3 or 4 times, mainly in freshers fortnight. Slept in your own sick? Urine - Yes, Sick - Yes, Poo - No. Slept outside? Quite a few times, on the pavement in Paris, springs to mind just last weekend. Attempted “straight-arm” drinking? Standard. Played touch cup? Does a bear s**t in the woods? Of Course. Been naked in public? Maybe once or twice.

Slept in your own sick? Yes – many a time Slept outside? Yes – Paris at weekend for one Attempted “straight-arm” drinking? Yes – very wet and messy Played touch cup? Don’t ask Silly questions Been naked in public? Dont usually agree with it but have been known to on occasions Been asked to leave the union? Once or twice ?

Is Snakebite your choice of drink at the Union? Most of the time How many societies / clubs have you represented at uni? 2 – Hockey and I’ve made a substitute appearance for football.

Been asked to leave the union? Yeah, went through a bad phase of drinking 4 bottles of wine in a night and was often asked to leave the union before falling asleep or being sick! Missed a lecture to play sports / to do soco stuff? I went to 1 out of 13 in my last year on a Wednesday and that was an exam. Participated in “The Ramp”? Yes. Downed a jug of Snakey B? Yes after bouncing a 5p into it at 1.30 in the afternoon. Gone in the sea after Tantrum / Tang? Once and never again! Started drinking before noon? 7 in the morning was my earliest, but your only an alcholic if you drink on your own. Is Snakebite your choice of drink at the Union? Of course. How many societies / clubs have you represented at uni? Rugby, Dance, Tennis and Course Reps.

Now draw us a donkey ....

Darby would like to thank Gamel Oki for drawing this donkey !

Jaffa would like to thank thin paper and his tracing ability

Missed a lecture to play sports / to do soco stuff? I’ve never attented a Wedenesday lecture in all my life! Participated in “The Ramp”? Ahh the good old days! 80p a pint ! Downed a jug of Snakey B? 5p into the jug – whoops! Gone in the sea after Tantrum / Tang? My god was it cold! It went small ! Started drinking before noon? Do bears poo in the woods?

Purple Wednesdays

Wednesday 31st October 2007

Gold glory for University boxers Dave Hickey

In the early hours of Friday morning, myself and three university boxers prised ourselves from the warmth of our beds to start the long trip to Denmark to compete in the Annual HSK CUP. This tournament has been going for 15 years and is one of the largest open tournaments consisting of entrants from nations around Europe. This year there were 265 entrants with 146 bouts over the three days. On arrival in Denmark the cold hit us, but we kept smiling. After realising that they drove on the right hand side of the road we headed to Hillerod, a town north of Copenhagen. That evening we registered and the boxers were weighed in. Then we settled into our accommodation, which ended up being a

Fixtures, 31st October

Badminton Mens 1 vs Oxford playing Away // Badminton Mens 2 vs Imperial Medics 1st playing at Home // Badminton Mens 1 vs Greenwich Uni playing at Home // Basketball Mens 1 vs Kings College London playing at Home // Basketball Mens 2 vs Westminister Uni playing Away//Basketball Mens 1 vs Surrey University playing Away // Fencing Women vs St George's playing at Home // Fencing Mens 1 vs Royal Holloway playing Away // Football Mens 1 vs Kingston playing Away//Football Mens 2 vs St May's 3rd playing at Home // Football Mens 3 vs Buckinghamshire Chilt playing Away // Football Mens 4 vs St Mary's 4th Home Langstone // Football Mens 5 vs chichester University 4 playing Away // Football Mens 6 vs Middlesex Uni 2nd playing playing Away // Football Womens 1 vs Surrey university playing Away // Football Womens 2 vs Brunel Uni (WL) playing at Home // Golf Mens vs Essex playing at Home // Hockey Mens 1 vs St Georges Hospital playing at Home // Hockey Mens 2 vs Royal Veterinary 1st playing Away // Hockey Mens 3 vs Kings Medical 2nd playing at Home // Hockey Mens 4 vs Imperial playing at Home // Hockey Womens 1 vs Brighton Uni 2nd playing Away // Hockey Womens 2 vs Kings College London Away // Hockey Womens 3 vs Imperial Medics playing Away // Lacrosse Womens 1 vs Kings College London Away // Netball 1 vs Imperial Medics playing at Home // Netball 2 vs Kings College London playing at Home // Netball 3 vs Reading Uni 2nd playing at Home // Netball 4 vs Royal Holloway 2nd playing at Home // Netball 5 vs Kingston 2nd playing at Home // Rugby Freshers vs Anglia Ruskin Uni Che playing Away // Rugby Men 1 vs Imperial playing playing Away // Rugby Men 2 vs Imperial playing playing Away // Rugby Men 3 vs Reading Uni playing playing Away // Squash Mens 1 vs Reading Uni 2nd playing at Home // Squash Mens 3 vs Surrey university 2nd playing Away // Squash Womens 1 vs London Metropolitan playing Away // Table-Tennis Mens 1 vs LSE playing at Home // Tennis Mens 1 vs Imperial playing Away // Tennis Womens 1 vs Royal Holloway playing at Home // Volley Mens 1 vs St Mary's playing at Home // Volley Womens 1 vs Kingston playing at Home

classroom in a junior school complete with tables and chairs. This was perfect (how boxers prefer to live), we put on the radio, rolled out our sleeping bags, then played cards until we gave up for the day. After the opening ceremony the bouts commenced. The atmosphere was immense. You could walk from room to room and watch a fine repertoire of boxing, ranging from first time boxers to international bouts. The first day consisted of cheering on the English and Irish clubs’ boxers. There was to be a total of 100 bouts throughout the day. The University’s boxers Andrew Vincent and Suraj “Frank” Popat both received byes in the first round. After receiving the bye Andrew was then competing for a Gold medal against local Danish boxer, Dennise Nielsen from BK Vitus

Horsens. Andrew moved around the ring like a boxer well above his status. His flow of direct powerful shots made him dominate his opponent in the first and second round. As the bout came to an end Andrew came out as a unanimous winner with a victory of 19 points to 6. He smiled when being presented with his gold medal. “Frank’s” first fight was also a gold medal fight with one of the hardest opponents in Britain at his level, Irish Champion Niel Walker from Ulster ABC. “Frank” lost the first battle for the centre ring and this was now going to be an uphill struggle. As the round progressed the Irish boxer stalked “Frank” around the ring, by this you could tell he was a national champion. Despite “Frank’s” best efforts he missed out on gold walking away with the silver.

RESULTS

tunity to do before. After these great results the full boxing team is looking to compete in the next tournament in February which will take place in Sweden. For more information on the boxing team contact the University Boxing coach at: uniboxingcoach@hotmail.co.uk

24th October 2007 Sports Results

17th October 2007 Sports Results UPSU SPORTS TEAM

After Frank’s bout we walked into Mika Kessler, Undefeated Middleweight World Champion. He was happy to pose for a photo and congratulated the lads. This was a nice way to end our little trip to Denmark; we saw some fantastic boxing and competed in a tournament that no University of Portsmouth student had the oppor-

OPPOSITION

H/A

UPSU SPORTS TEAM

RESULTS

OPPOSITION

H/A

Men’s Badminton 1sts

Cambridge1

Men’s Badminton 1sts

Bath 1

Men’s Badminton 2nds

Sussex 1

Men’s Badminton 2nds

Royal Holloway 2

Women’s Badminton 1sts

Kingston

Men’s Basketball 1sts

Roehampton

Imperial 1

Women’s Badminton 1sts Men’s Basketball 1sts

Hertfordshire 1

Men’s Basketball 2nds Women’s Basketball 1sts

Men’s Basketball 2nds 48

Queen Mary’s

Women’s Basketball 1sts

Kingston

Fencing Men 1sts

135

UCL 2

Fencing Women 1sts

Men’s Football 1sts

Essex 1

Men’s Football 1sts

Reading

Men’s Footbal 2nds

BCUC 2

Men’s Footbal 2nds

Chichester 2

Men’s Football 3rds

Chichester 2

Men’s Football 3rds

Brighton

Men’s Football 4ths

Kingston 2

Men’s Football 4ths

TVU 1

Men’s Football 5ths

Brighton 5

Men’s Football 5ths

Surrey 2

Men’s Football 6ths

Brunel 4

Men’s Football 6ths

Women’s Football 1sts

Royal Holloway 1

Women’s Football 1sts

Roehampton 1

Women’s Football 2nds

Bedfordshire (Luton)

Golf 1sts

Brunel

Men’s Hockey 1sts

Brighton 1

Men’s Hockey 1sts

CCCC

Men’s Hockey 2nds

Portsmouth 3

Men’s Hockey 2nds

Imperial Medics 2

Men’s Hockey 3rds

Portsmouth 2

Men’s Hockey 3rds

Middlesex 1

Men’s Hockey 4th

St George’s 2

Men’s Hockey 4th

Women’s Hockey 1sts

Reading 2

Women’s Hockey 1sts

Women’s Hockey 2nds

BCUC 1

Women’s Hockey 2nds

Imperial 2

Women’s Hockey 3rds

Women’s Lacrosse 1sts

Royal Holloway

Chicester 1

Netball 1sts

Reading 1

Netball 2nds

Kingston 1

Netball 2nds

Brighton 3

Netball 3rds

Bucks Chiltern’s 1

Netball 3rds

Chichester

Netball 4ths

St Mary’s

Netball 4ths Netball 5ths

LSE

Men’s Rugby Union 1sts

Middlesex

Men’s Rugby Union 1sts

Buck’s Chiltern

Men’s Rugby Union 2nds

St George’s

Men’s Rugby Union 2nds

Sussex 1

Men’s Rugby Union 3rds

Imperial

Men’s Rugby Union 3rds

Royal Holloway

CCCC

Netball 1sts

Netball 5ths

Men’s Rugby Fresher’s Women’s Rugby 1sts

Men’s Rugby Fresher’s 5

Brighton 1

Women’s Rugby 2nds

Women’s Rugby 1sts Women’s Rugby 2nds

Men’s Squash 1sts

Surrey 1

Men’s Squash 1sts

Sussex 1

Men’s Squash 2nds

Royal Holloway

Men’s Squash 2nds

Portsmouth 3

Men’s Squash 3rds

Portsmouth 2

Women’s Squash 1sts

UCL 1

Brighton 1

Men’s Squash 3rds Women’s Squash 1sts Men’s Table Tennis

Reading

Men’s Tennis 1sts

London Met

Women’s Tennis 1sts

Men’s Table Tennis Men’s Tennis 1sts Women’s Tennis 1sts

Men’s Volleyball 1sts

Chichester

Men’s Volleyball 1sts

Kent

Women’s Volleyball 1sts

Reading

Women’s Volleyball 1sts

Brunel

Purple Wednesdays Wednesday 31st October 2007

Sports news

Lacrosse

Darby’s Diary On The Spot!

Dance Club back Coaches’ Corner in session

Women’s Lacrosse vs Royal Holloway

Our regular Sports Officer Column

UPSU Dance Squad Report - Gina Birch

The un-sung sports heros

The women started their season with a difficult away trip to Royal Holloway. An inexperienced and under-strength team travelled to Greater London. Pompey struggled from the start against a well organised and disciplined Holloway side. It was a game in which the score did not fairly represent the effort put in by the women, who dominated play for significant periods of the game. Suzie Pope got the only goal for Portsmouth in Laurie Charles’s first game as women’s captain. In freezing and exposed conditions the women showed raw talent and a lot of promise for the season to come.

The words of Kanye West, ‘harder, better, faster, stronger’ seem quite appropriate for our AU this year. (Thanks to Beth the netball first team captain for that inspiration!) I still admire the way the AU has been transformed. The ambition, excitement and dedication has all been enhanced since last year with clubs and teams all wanting to exceed last year’s successes and take their club forward; it’s great to see and long may it continue. So why the change? I believe it’s down to clubs having strong committees, from a Sports officer’s point of view it’s nice to have a good group of presidents that are supported by strong individuals. A club is only as strong as the committee it has; the key to success in any club may depend solely on the organisation and commitment of certain individuals so it’s well done to you guys and make sure you keep the hard work up. I’d also like to think that it has something to do with the fact that everyone is excited about the changes the AU is going through the branding, the sports science support, a well functioning AU exec and a general increase in professionalism. This is a great time for sport at Pompey, things are starting to take shape. So what’s the message I am trying to get across? Basically those people reading this that are part of a club please take some time and appreciate the work your committee does for you, clubs do not run themselves and everything they ask you to do is for a reason. Everybody needs to get behind the AU vision which is a successful, professional organisation with more members than ever before. It’s time to achieve our potential and make Pompey great once more!

It’s been an exciting start to the new academic year for the dance club (officially the AU’s ‘Club of the Year’ 06/07), now in its 3rd year. It all kicked off at the Freshers’ Fayre. With this first performance under our belts the squad is eager to perform to the crowds on a Wednesday night in your Student Union! You can also catch us there, getting in the ring on 20th November for some pre-fight entertainment. Over the first few weeks, membership rose to over 140 people with classes overflowing. The club is really excited about getting members involved in all our activities throughout the year including socials, volunteering and club events. At the Dance Club we’re very proud of the volunteering scheme that’s run for our members. For more information contact Gina Birch at gina1786@hotmail.com.

Here at the University of Portsmouth we employ three community coaches. The clubs have improved, not just in standard, but in structure. As well as catering for more people whilst showing more professionalism than before, it is time we started to appreciate the coaches and value the work they put in; this applies to all coaches. This is the first ever Coaches’ Corner feature; please send in profiles of your coach and we will try to get them in.

Portsmouth Mens (17) vs UWIC (1)

The men’s lacrosse team successfully dispatched UWIC on Saturday afternoon. The Cardiff outfit are the second Welsh team to have been beaten in a fortnight by a talented Pompey side. The team travelled to South Wales with a significantly smaller squad than the one that overcame Swansea Bs the previous weekend. Soon into the game Pompey took control of the the play with five goals from Liam O’Mahoney and an excellent all round display from Matt Stevens in the midfield. This result leaves the team top of the league after two games, with a home fixture up next against local rivals Southampton Bs.

Darby

More info: www.pompeylax.co.uk

Andy and Darby on Pure:FM

Separated at birth

Back by popular demand Purple Wednesdays favourite - On The Spot, an in depth look at the people in our sports teams. Who are you? Ben ‘Rhino Balls’ Pearson. Age? 21. Club/Society Position: Roller Hockey Club President Home town: Chelmsford. What puts a smile on your face ? Doing ‘The Lawnmower’ on stage. What wipes it off? Poobutton.com. Most embarrassing moment? Going on meatspin.com in the office … with very loud speakers. Best chat up line? “Read the name tag, you’re in my world now grandma!” What was your first kiss like? Spacious – she had a damn huge mouth! Favourite uni memory? A Halloween podium dance-off in Time n Envy with another guy dressed in Scream gear. How quickly can you shoot a puck? As fast as Bruce’s mum said “Yes!” Favourite dressing-up theme? 80s Rock Stars / Pimps n Hos Tell us a joke: A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods. The bear says to the rabbit: “Excuse me, do you have problems with sh*t sticking to your fur?” “No” the rabbit says. So the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit. Tip of the week? Argue with Fernando Martinez in his burger van outside The Registry about the quality of his ketchup – it’s very therapeutic.

Listen Up...

Do a little dance, make a little love Want to get adopted by two dance club members to choreograph a short and easy routine (comedy encouraged!) for selected club members? Then, on Wednesday 5th December (with the help of a little Dutch courage), get up on stage and shake it whilst competing against the other clubs. Who will be the best? It’s only £1 per person but further sponsorship is encouraged so you have no excuse not to get involved. Contact Sally from the dance club to sign up on sally_lucinda@hotmail.co.uk. Or find the group on Facebook -Sporto and Soc’s Dance

Carly-Ann Purcell

I have always been passionate about dance but didn’t take the opportunity until I was 24. Whilst studying at Portsmouth Uni I gained my Exercise to Music qualification and began teaching a variety of aerobic classes. I enjoyed this but knew I’d prefer to be teaching dance classes. I was lucky enough to be offered work teaching, with beginner’s street dance in local schools. At the same time I started choreographing and teaching a group of students for performances at the Student’s Union. The dance club evolved from there!! Soon after I scraped the funds together to travel up to Pineapple Dance Studios in London. I haven’t looked back since and now train at Pineapple and with a London Hip Hop Dance Academy. I have been coaching the Dance club since it began in 2005 and last year I introduced new styles such as ‘Locking’ (a funk dance style).This year I’m hoping to incorporate the Hip Hop dance style known as ‘House’ and a bit of break dance. I would like to see the club maintain its success as ‘Club of the Year 2007’

Rugby

Andrew Machin Comedy Legend ?

Unlucky Defeat

Well what can we say? When a mystery email arrived in our mailbox suggesting that our very own Education and Representation Officer Andrew ‘Jaffa’ Machin was living a double life as a comedy legend we just had to send our reporters to investigate. Judge for yourselves with the evidence below (and send your matches in to newsdesk@upsu.net!)

After being promoted last season, this was a tough start for the Pompey 1sts. The game started well with some great tackles from both teams. After just five minutes, though, Brighton’s wing broke down the line with try after try coming from the same method. During the second half injuries affected a large number of players, but Pompey battled on and in the Fifty-fifth minute finally Fosh scored. The final score which was a 39 - 5 loss, which didn’t reflect the play of Portsmouth, who played well and kept their heads up during the match.

Left: Andrew ‘Jaffa’ Machin - Right: Johnny Vegas..

PURPLE WEDNESDAYS

Issue 3 Wednesday 31.10.07 upsu.net/news

Winning is the way for Women’s Football

Pompey boys do Paris!

Rugby World Cup Final 2007 England vs South Africa

So after finally calming down from qualifying for the final we all got smashed! Then Darby, being the genius he is, he managed to pull a coach out of his bum and gave 49 of us eager rugby fans the chance of a lifetime; to actually travel to Paris to watch the Rugby WC Final. 11pm on Friday finally arrived and we departed from outside the union, crates of beer in hand, then to realise that we had the oldest, grumpiest coach driver ever. So after smuggling beer onto the coach and all getting a bit drunk some of us got a few hours sleep before the big day. Some others stayed up drinking (and celebrating that they hadn’t been stopped at passport control i.e. Darby and Sleaze). We arrived in Paris at 7a.m. knowing we had 21 hours to wander the streets of Paris. Jaffa used his French skills and common sense to get the group to the Eiffel tower, where we all tried to go to the toilet, but to our dismay apparently French people don’t need to go to the loo until 10a.m. However, after relieving ourselves and having a bite to eat, (Northy loves eggs so much he paid 14 euros for two under cooked eggs), we all made our way to the big screen where we would watch the game under the Eiffel tower. Freshers were sent to find the

nearest shop, with instructions to buy the shops whole supply of alcohol. The drink was flowing from around 10 and didn’t stop until around 3 in the morning the next day. The afternoon was spent with us having the occasional beverage, a bit of banter, ball dodging and watching a Zinedine Zidane advert numerous times. At 9p.m. French time the noise dropped and everyone’s eyes were fixed to the screen. We won’t go into what happened over the next two hours as it went from a very happy, rowdy bunch of 20,000 English fans to a very quiet, upset group of fans. In true Pompey style though we didn’t let the party stop there; we carried on drinking until everywhere had shut and then headed back to wait for the coach. Unfortunately, none of us had bargained on Paris being quite as cold so 49 people spooned on the pavement for two hours! We all then got back on the coach and passed out. All that was left to top off a brilliant weekend now was for Darby and Sleaze to be kept at passport control in France. However, apparently not having a passport doesn’t matter nowadays. We arrived back in Pompey Sunday lunchtime and all went our separate ways, thinking what a brilliant time we’d had. It had been a weekend not to forget, and one that will definitely stay with us for the rest of our lives. A massive shout-out to Darby for organising the whole thing and remember kids, passports are over-rated!

Intramural

Squash 2nds

Ultimate Frisbee

Get involved with UPSU sports

We thrashed Royal Holloway!

European Champ Lucy Carter

Topsy-turvy Frisbee PWs needs your Tournament club news!

This week and last saw the start of intramural sport, with a large number of competitions in a variety of different sports. This term sees fivea-side, six-a-side and eleven-a-side football as well as basketball, cricket, badminton, volleyball, dodgeball and squash events going on throughout this term. For details on how to get involved contact the sports staff on 023 9284 5555 or contact Carl Athersuch at carl.athersuch@port.ac.uk but be quick; the competition space is running out fast.

The day started with a nervous Fresher, Olly Strawbridge in his first competitive squash match for Portsmouth. He managed to outclass his opponent in a 27-1 win, firmly putting his nerves to the back of his thoughts. Veteran of the 2nd team, Amit Gosrani was by comparison not at all worried. He went on to complete a glorious 3-0 win, continuing Portsmouth’s winning streak. It was Daniel Caulkett’s first time captaining the 2nd team and this inspired him onto a 3-0 victory. This last victory ensured a great win for the whole team.

This is a long overdue congratulations to Lucy Carter who before last year, had never played ultimate frisbee before. Over the summer Lucy joined the Great Britain Under20 which went onto become European Champions, beating some great European teams. This is an amazing achievement and Lucy becomes the 3rd Player to win selection to the Great Britain team in consecutive years.

Sublime’s new team travelled to Hyde Park for a packed tournament. The team were excited, if not a little anxious to play its first match against the Disc Drs, whose play lead them to a 3-1 victory. A tough game with Thrown was next and resulted in a narrow 3-2 loss. The spirit in the squad was lifted though as Sublime entered its third game against Roehampton. Sublime managed an 11-0 win over Roehampton. In the final game against Surrey Scorpions the winning trend continued with a 4-2 victory. Overall the tournament was a real success.

Andrew Machin Education & Representation Officer

Katie Harrison Women’s Football

Training in between lectures, fitness during the holidays and weekly team social events; these are the key factors behind the University of Portsmouth’s Women’s Football Club’s success over the last two seasons. Last season the club’s Hampshire league side reached two cup finals, winning the Portsmouth Cup and came second in the league. Coaching and fitness sessions as well as, most importantly, social events have resulted in a fantastic team ethic which is transferred on to the pitch. The club continues to expand and develop. The club has now established two new teams, a second Ladies team and a new Under 21’s team. As well as this the club’s members continue to support the University’s ‘Up 4 Sport’ scheme, with its members given the opportunity to access nationally recognised coaching qualifications. Women’s Football is currently the fastest growing sport in the country and if the club continues to move in its current direction then Portsmouth will quickly become the place to be! If you would like to play please join us on a tuesday evening

Rugby World Cup Final in Paris Pics: Simon Leach

If you are interested in ‘Sublime’ Ultimate Frisbee then contact Steve Walton, Captain on 07967 326951.

If you would like any further information please contact the Sports Officer at: sportsofficer@upsu.net

Write for PWs

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