Introduction This next lesson is crucial to the entire basis of The Social Training Lab. What you’re going to learn in this lesson applies to everyone you communicate with going forward. At the end of this lesson I’m going to be asking you to write in your Social Training Lab Journal. It’s very crucial that you actually do the lessons at the end of each PDF.
No More Mr. Nice Guy Rule #1: “Nice Guys” really do finish LAST I bet that isn’t what you wanted to hear. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear either when I first began actively trying to figure out what women wanted out of a guy.
But here’s the thing... There is A LOT of confusion about what it actually means to be “nice.” So in this lesson I want to clear up a lot of the issues that girls have with “nice guys” and hopefully shed some light on which of your particular “nice guy traits” you need to shed.
Supplication: The Deadliest Sin Webster’s definition of supplication: to ask humbly, earnestly, as by praying, Also known as “petitioning” “I want candy” says the boy. “If you ask nicely maybe you can have some” says his mother. “I promise mommy, I’ll be a good boy. Can I please please have some candy” begs the boy. “Are you really going to be good?” asks his mother. “Yes mommy. I love you. And I promise to be good.” the boys says. “Ok son. Then you can have some candy.” deems the mother. And with that conversation, the habit of “supplication” is born. Let me ask you something.... Did the boy “WANT” to be good? Or did he act “good” for the candy?
I think its obvious that the boy wanted the candy. And the boy told his mother what she wanted to hear to increase his chances of getting the candy. And the mother rewarded his “good” behavior with candy. This habit of “supplication” is reinforced by all adults in his life. His teachers, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles all reward him for “good” behavior. Boy’s mind is conditioned to believe he can get what he wants if he’s just “good” enough. So boy supplicates himself to others by: ●
Always doing what he’s told
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Listening
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Only speaks when spoken to
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Acting helpful
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Being overly “polite”
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Asks for things humbly
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Is quick to make promises
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Believes getting what he wants is a “reward”
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Agrees with everything
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Is afraid to do or say anything that might potential upset his “elder”
These are just some of the habits the boy has developed throughout his life. He has been conditioned and trained to believe that getting what he wants involves displaying THESE TRAITS. Like a dog who “sits” for a treat, the boy has been trained to become a “Nice Guy.” This is the nature of “Supplication.” And the reason that supplication is the deadliest sin is because when you supplicate you are basically telling the other person “you have the power. And I’m going to prove to you that I’m good enough for your blessing.” Now I’m about to say something extremely graphic. STOP TRYING TO FUCK YOUR MOTHER. What? Hear me out. If you’ve ever been placed in the friend zone, or been told “you’re really nice... BUT”, or have constantly been passed over by girls... its probably because you’ve been trying to fuck your mother. Now of course I’m NOT being literal. But what I do mean is that you’re trying to win affection from a girl the same way you won affection from your parents when you were younger. You’ve taken all this “good behavior” that got you candy, toys, attention, and affection growing up... and MISTAKENLY believed that displaying this “good behavior” to girls would get you in her pants... It won’t.
Remember, when you supplicate you are basically telling the other person “you have the power. And I’m going to prove to you that I’m good enough for your blessing.” She doesn’t respect a man who “supplicates.” She doesn’t want to be treated like your mother. And when you display those “good traits” to her the only thing you’re going to get is a pat on the head as she says “Good dog. Now go fetch.” Human beings don’t respect supplication. Think back to elementary school. Did anyone like “The Teacher’s Pet.” You know, the guy so hungry for the teacher’s approval that he was constantly trying to impress the teacher? No one liked the teacher’s pet. No girl wanted to fuck the teacher’s pet. Everyone in class HATED the teacher’s pet because they instinctively knew that the “Teacher’s Pet” was NOT being himself. So what makes you think a woman wants to fuck “her pet.” Yet that’s what most guys act like around women. ●
He agrees with her about everything
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He laughs at all her jokes (even the unfunny ones)
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He constantly offers to “help” her
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He’s the first to volunteer if she needs anything
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“Sex” is a forbidden word around her
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He treats her with the RESPECT of an authority
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He’s nervous around her. He’s constantly worried he’s gonna “get in trouble” or “mess up”
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He says what he thinks she wants to hear
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He says things with the intention of “proving himself” to her
These are just some of the things “Nice Guys” do thinking it will have a positive effect on their chances of getting laid. But anytime you do anything above you look like the “The Teacher’s Pet.” So What is the Opposite of “Nice”? When most guys first hear “don’t be the nice guy” they think that means they need to be an asshole or a dick to girls. But if our definition of “Nice Guy” is the guy who supplicates himself to women (changing his behavior) in hopes of getting a reward from her... Then what is the opposite of THAT? HONESTY I bet that wasn’t you were thinking. But its true. The opposite of supplicating yourself to a woman is being honest with yourself and HER.
Think about it... When the teacher is giving a really boring lesson in class if the teacher’s pet stopped supplicating what would he do? He would NOT start being a dick and calling the teacher names. He’d probably put his head down and doze off... because that would be his honest response. When the teacher asked if anyone wanted to stay after class and volunteer to help clean the room what would he do? He wouldn’t tell her she was a crazy bitch. He’d probably just say “that doesn’t sound too exciting to me... I’ll pass.” Because that would be his honest response. When the teacher was telling a boring story or an unfunny joke what would he do? He’d probably say “This story is kind of boring.” Or “That joke was pretty lame.” Because that was the honest response. Am I making sense? “Nice Guys” are afraid to be honest. They are afraid if they are honest they won’t get the pudding. So they tell little white lies to everyone around them. STOP LYING. ●
Stop pretending to be someone you’re not to impress a girl.
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Stop saying things you don’t mean because you think its what she wants to hear.
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Stop talking about things you aren’t interested in.
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Stop volunteering to do things you don’t want to do.
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Stop NOT doing things you want to do because you’re scared of ‘getting in trouble.’
You don’t have to be a dick. You don’t have be an asshole. You don’t even have to be a “bad boy.” You just have to be honest. Here’s the thing though... Sometimes being honest will make you appear to be a bit of an asshole. Sometimes being honest will make you appear to be a bit of a dick. Sometimes being honest will make you seem like a “bad boy” Honesty isn’t always pretty. But it works. Why Does Honesty Work? The reason honesty works so well is that you’re NOT trying to get something out of the other person.
You see when someone senses they are being “sold” they instinctively put their guard up. They immediately decide they don’t want to buy. When a woman meets a “Nice Guy” she knows he’s trying to sell himself to her. She knows he’s trying to get something out of her. And she fears that if she shows him too much kindness she’s going to be stuck with him like a lost puppy dog. On the other hand, when a woman meets a man who acts with complete honesty she doesn’t quite know what he wants. This guy puts himself first. He makes decisions based on what he feels like doing. He doesn’t tell her what she wants to hear. And he’s not afraid to walk away from a girl if she doesn’t fit the criteria for what attracts and interests him. And this excites her and exhilarates her.
This Week’s Assignment 1
In your Social Training Lab Journal spend some time identifying all the ways you have “supplicated” to women in your life. Be honest.
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In your Social Training Lab Journal find a few different scenarios where you acted out of supplication and write down what your “honest” response would have been
3
Actively begin to be more honest in your interactions with women.