Around Brussels in 30 Days by Tony Mallett

Brussels 30 days Around

December 2011 Issue #4

18 and above only. Contains some rude words.

HAVE A BALL AT THE ATOMIUM

THERE’S more to Brussels’ Atomium than you might think. As Martin Banks explains, it’s all about love... Along with the Manneken-Pis and Grand’Place, the Atomium is one of the most famous landmark Brussels has to oﬀer and has been attracting thousands of visitors annually ever since it was conceived to mark the 1958 Expo. So what’s the secret? Well, try this for size. “The love that the Belgians have for an extraordinary structure

symbolising a frame of mind that wittily combines aesthetic daring with technical mastery.

MIGHTY ATOM “The appearance of the Atomium is unusual and unforgettable. It has a rare quality of lifting everyone’s spirits and ﬁring their imagination.” That is a message posted on the Atomium’s website from one of the many people who have visited the structure on the outskirts of the city - and it is hard to argue with it. Continued on Page 6

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Sweets for my sweet...and more from Europe’s capital Check out ‘Sweet Candy’ - an expo charting the history of, well, sweets. But don’t panic if you’re busy in the run-up to Christmas, it’s a sugar-coated sure thing until the end of August next year. Candy, caramel, almonds...wonderful words, recalling our childhoods and, let’s face it, kids (of all ages) can never get enough sweets. So, with that in mind, the Musée Bruxellois du Moulin et de l’Alimentation in Evere pledges to help us all revisit those memories using art and authentic objects, such as candy moulds old prints and devilishly clever machines. It all sounds too good to be true - but it is true. www.moulindevere.be Streetlife, Brussels style Google Street View is ﬁnally available here in

Belgium. This excellent feature of Google Maps allows us to explore our neighbourhoods online in full 360-degree splendour. Google’s ﬂeet of vehicles spent a few months going up and down the streets and alleyways of Brussels and the rest of Belgium - and now all of us can see the results through the wonder of the internet. The feature is accessed by clicking the ‘Maps’ tab on Google. So get on an give it a whirl, why dontcha? Seasons to be cheerful Finally, don’t forget this year’s SantaCon (see advert to the left). This is a ‘Santa Trek’ starting at the Big Wheel in the Christmas market and taking in several hostelries before the group photo at the Bourse (22.30 on the night).

Head along with your festive costume - and don’t forget to bring a sense of humour too. www.santacon.be It’s a ‘Schu’ in With the sad demise of Fabian O’Farrell’s on Place du Luxembourg, its former owners - who also run the American-style sports bar opposite, Fat Boy’s Bar & Grill - have taken their winning formula to the environs of Schuman and Parc du Cinquantenaire (just opposite the mosque). This has been dubbed (according to whom you believe ) ‘Fat Boy’s Schu’, ‘Fat Boy’s II’ and the spectacularly original ‘Fat Boy’s’. The original is one of the busiest sports bars in the city - considered by many to be the best, showing a variety of sports from, ahem, ‘soccer’ and American football to golf, cricket, ice hockey, basketball, boxing and more. We do recommend Fatboy’s, especially if you like your burgers big and your testosterone in high doses. Let’s hope its namesake keeps up the good work. www.fatboys-be.com With Christmas on the way, you may find yourself short of a few final gifts or bits ‘n’ bobs for the big dinner. Here’s a trio of terrific websites that could help you out up to the very last minute. The English Shop One of several online expat food specialists in-and-around Brussels. This outfit is run by a husband-and-wife team who have worked hard over the past couple of years to broaden their range. There’s everything from Marmite and Bran Flakes to Chocolate Oranges and Maldon Salt. And it’s delivered to your door - free, if it’s a big enough order. www.englishshop.be I Love Cake An American-Belgian bakes cupcakes for every occasion, as well as sponge cakes, pies, cookies and more. There’s a minimum order but there’s free delivery within the city centre. We’ve tried some of these cupcakes - and they’re absolutely fantastic. www.ilovecake.be Sterling Books A great lttle shop close to the Monnaie Theatre in the heart of the city. At Sterling, a comprehensive range of English-language books are presided over by cheerful, enthusiastic young staff. There are monthly deals on offer, too. www.sterlingbooks.be

Around Brussels in 30 Days

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From busking in Berlin to Brussels: where Siegals dare

It’s panto time in London. Oh yes it is! Pantos aren’t really the thing in Belgium, so you’ll have to travel. Fortunately, something big is heading to the merry old land of Eustonville in London this Christmas and it’s sure to get you In the ‘mood for dancing’. Irish sisters Linda and Maureen Nolan lead an all-star cast in Jack and the Beanstalk at the Shaw Theatre until 31 December. This could be just the thing for expats looking to keep the kids occupied over the festive season. Linda and Maureen Nolan’s wealth of experience in show business has embraced hit records, international television shows, major world concert tours and appearances with the world’s most popular superstars. Together with their sisters, The Nolans won more than twenty gold, silver and platinum discs with album and single sales topping more than 8 million. Joining the sisters on stage will be Devon Anderson (Billie Jackson in BBC1’s EastEnders, Taj Lewis in CBBC’s Kerching!, Sonny Valentine in Channel 4’s Hollyoaks) as Jack Trott, Chris Stanton (CBBC’s MI High) as The King, Rodney C Howard as Dame Trott and Rosie Taylor as Princess Jill. Tickets for Jack and the Beanstalk are frozen at 2010 prices, so it won’t cost you more than a bag of magic beans to see London’s traditional family pantomime. Book online at www.shaw-theatre.com

It has been suggested that if Siegal been around in the sixties he would today be treated to the same reverence as the likes of Van Morrison, Joe Cocker and Eric Clapton. But he was actualy born in the early seventies and left art college in the late eighties to go busking in Germany. From such an unlikely start on the streets of Berlin, Siegal ended up in clubs around Nottingham, then in London, and ﬁnally to major stages around Europe. Two successive European tours (2003/4) opening for ex-Rolling Stone Bill Wyman’s Rhythm Kings brought him to the attention of a wider audience. This was followed by UK tours as a duo with Big Bill Morganﬁeld (son of Muddy Waters, the man who Siegal calls ‘The Blues God’). Siegal captured the hearts of audiences in Holland, Belgium, Austria and Hungary and, in 2005, he topped the soul/blues/ jazz charts in Holland. The following year he debuted in the US, appearing in major clubs and at the largest music festival on the West Coast. Born in the deep south (of England) in 1971, Ian Siegal’s earliest musical memories are of Buddy Holly, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis and Chuck Berry. This brought about a life-long passion for the Blues and all of its various branches, and most of all, the inimitable Muddy Waters. At 16 he began to roadie occasionally for his cousin’s band and one night, quite unexpectedly, he was asked to sing. The result was a blown-away audience and a delighted (and rather surprised) young

vocal talent with a career ahead of him. Two years later, he picked up a guitar and taught himself to play. But it was while in Berlin that his playing dramatically improved as, if he didn’t make money, he didn’t eat. Simples. By the time he returned to England he was hell-bent on a career in music. Five years later, after moving to London from Nottigham, he vecame an established part of the London Blues community. Now he’s heading to G.C.Nekkersdal, on Boulevard E.Bockstael, 1020 Brussels, for what is sure to be a corker of a gig on Thursday 22 December. More on Siegal at www.iansiegal.info

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Big wheel keep on turning Tony Mallett takes a look at the festive season, capital of Europe-style Throughout the festive season, residents of (and visitors to) Brussels can enjoy the annual Plaisirs d’Hiver festival that runs all the way through until New Year’s Day. Among the highlights is, of course, the skating rink in Place St Catherine. Measuring 60 metres in length, it has more than 1,000m2 of ice and can accommodate up to 300 people at a time. If that amount of whizzing bodies is a bit too scary for the really young, there’s a smaller rink next to the main one. Nearby are the famous and fabulous Baroque roundabouts, with their fantasy characters spinning passengers around through space and time, while you’d struggle to miss the Big Wheel towering above it all and allowing visitors a panoramic view of the bright lights, big-city illuminations. Added attractions include the toboggan run, which seems to get longer every year, and the dastardly and ever-hungry Ice Monster - a 40mlong dinosaur. The skating rink, sledding track and ferris wheel are usually open from 11:00 to 22:00 but only until 18:00 on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve. On Christmas Day and New Year’s Day, they open from midday. Great piece of marketing Apparently, British tour operators have called the Brussels Christmas market ‘Europe’s most original’. Whether it is or not is neither here-northere as it’s certainly great fun and loaded with gift ideas in the run-up to the big day.

With an area stretching over two kilometres, you can enjoy its stalls, chalets, attractions, activities and terraces, all stacked with food, drink, delicacies and other goodies. The ‘guest’ country this year is Greece, which will host eight chalets - one for each of its provinces - and will showcase the expertise of its artisans. Look out for certiﬁed olive oil that positively oozes sunshine on these cold days. The market opens Monday-Thursday from 12-21:00, Friday from midday until 22:00 and Sat-Sunday from 11-22:00. The times diﬀer on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, but it’s always open! Let there be light Meanwhile, people can and do say what they like (or, more often, don’t like) about Belgium’s biggest electric supplier, but they put on a damn good show in Grand’Place each Winter. And the 2011 edition looks like being a bumper one for Electrabel Nights/Rendez-vous Electrabel, as it features new (or a-bit-newerthan-last-year, at any rate) technology and special fancy light thingies. A spiral light sculpture has been installed in the centre of Grand’Place and its coloured rays will shimmer over the City Hall, nearby buildings and the giant Christmas tree. It’s all about creating an atmosphere of harmony, mystery and magic - and not just at night as thousands of lights will be visible by day too. As for the evenings, every weekend the shows start at 20:00, 21:00 and 22:00 and will include some amazing creative artists, such as a crystal

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Around Brussels in 30 days

musician wearing mirror costumes, a giant-winged butterfly, a fire-dancer and a moon-climbing acrobat. Not all at the same time, though: these take their turns over the various weekends. Add to that a magical choir on Christmas Eve and, in all good conscience, you can’t knock it. Nice to see ‘big business’ putting something back - and this is a pretty cool ‘something’... It all runs until New Year’s Day, so find the time to enjoy! More on all of the above here. Slip-slidin’ away It’s fair to say that the chances of a good fall of snow between now and January are minimal and the chances of skiing in the city centre even less but...a fascinating concept will be put in front of the Brussels public from 10-25 December at Mont des Arts – yes, city skiing. OK, organisers Pierre & Vacances are out to give you ideas for their skiing holidays but, to tempt you along, they’ll be unveiling a CitySki slope that’s 150 metres long by 7m. Attached will be a 5m-high launching ramp at the top for the crazy few who want to get a good head of steam going from the start. The slope will be covered with ‘snow’ generated by a machine and equipped with mechanical lifts. You can get lessons from professionals and, once you’ve spent some time on the piste, you can enjoy some seasonal mulled wine, surrounded by fir trees and chalets. It’s not quite the same as being up a frosty mountain in the Alps but, given that it’s right in the heart of the city, it’s the next best thing.

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Got your ‘museum head’ on? Brussels is just the place... The experts tell us that, by 2050, our planet will have to provide food for nine billion people. Nine BILLION? At EUin30Days we struggle to rustle up our own dinner - and we certainly couldn’t catch or grow it. Anyway, us being rubbish aside, how can we all change our ways in order to satisfy such a demand yet also devise a fair way of allocating Mother Earth’s bounty? There are already 7bn on the planet, so how do we stop more and more starving? The Expo-a-table ‘Field to Plate’ event uses multi-modal museography: graphic frescoes, audiovisual productions, photographs, electro-mechanical interactive displays, windows of discovery and tactile monitors. These elements are mixed with contemporary art works to explore themes that are at once practical as well as philosophical and political. The expo is on now and runs until June 2012 at Tour & Taxis, down by the canal. More info available here. Brasilia expo is full of beans Those who enjoy photography can make it snappy and get along to Building Brasilia, which runs until 15 January next year. As part of the huge Europalia project, this event pulls together photos on the topic of the creation of the Brazilian capital city, paying particular attention to its architecture (the Alvorada Palace, the Presidential residence, National Congress and more) as well as focusing on the neighbouring city of Núcleo Bandeirante, which was used to house millions of travellers waiting for Brasilia to be finished and thus ready to accommodate them. The expo attempts to show the monumental efforts made to construct the city using the views of photographers such as Marcel Gautherot, Walter Firmo and Thomas Farka. Alongside are polaroids by Jaír Lanes and other works by Robert Polidori, Rubens Mano and others. It’s open Monday-Friday from 10:00-18:00 (closed Christmas Day and New Year’s Day). Also in the same building (on the first floor) and running now is a fun and interactive exhibition for all ages all about the Brussels-Capital Region. Find out how and why the Region came into being, how it functions as an institution and the role it plays as an

international city and ‘capital of Europe’. Find out more by clicking here. Museum pieces In a town as culturally rich as Brussels, it’s tough to choose from the myriad museums, from the obvious Royal Museum of Fine Arts and the Museum of Musical Instruments (fantastic for its Horta architecture alone, see photo below) to the lesser-known Geuze Museum in Anderlecht, or the Belgian centre of the comic strip and the Tram museum just outside the city in Woluwe-Saint-Lambert. And we haven’t even begun to scratch the surface... Autoworld, out at Parc Cinquantenaire, and the Central Africa Museum (at the end of a fabulous tram ride to Tervuren) are others to consider but here we’re going to tell you about another place to visit. 1830 is the year that Belgium came into being and it’s certainly grown and evolved over almost 200 years. The BELvue museum tells the story of a small country that often punches above its weight.

Its current 500-plus-days without a government world record aside, this little land of just 11 million souls has been built around successes and failures, revolutions and wars, democracy and kings and we’re happy to report that this small-but-perfectly formed museum has most of the story within its nine rooms. The older generation will remember times past, while youngsters can enjoy learning through the permanent and occasional temporary exhibitions, all set within the beautifully restored former ‘hôtel de Bellevue’, which dates from the 18th century and is a stone’s throw from the Royal Palace and park. Food is available and there’s also the obligatory shop - so check it out, why don’t you? Opening hours are from Tuesday-Friday, 10-17:00 and it stays open an hour later at weekends. And don’t say that we didn’t tell you that it’s closed on Mondays. Find it at 7, Place des Palais, 1000 Brussels. Telephone +32 (0) 70 22 04 92 if you want to know more.

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Snap happy Martin Ward is one of those rare creatures in this city - a native of Brussels. He grew up here with a Belgian mother and an English father, so can identify with both the local and the expat lifestyles. He started photography when he was 16, as a hobby and says it was a kind of game to him at the time - trying out new things. Time went by, and then four years ago he decided to try making his pastime his profession. He took some courses at the Ecole de Photographie de la Ville de Bruxelles, and ever since, has been working as a pro. For Martin, Brussels is a good place to be a photographer, for now at least. It may not be the most visually inspiring city in the world, he concedes, but says, “You have to be imaginative and learn to work with what you have in front of you; in ways it makes you more creative. Of course, I love going to Paris and London too. I love taking pictures of people, and those cities are ideal for that.” “I like the whole experience of making the photo,” he says. “I don’t picture what the end will be like; obviously I know the way I want the work to develop, but it is something you can’t plan. It’s more a spontaneous thing.” He is influenced by all art forms, from music to photos to paintings, but doesn’t want to be like anyone else. For him, it’s more to do with experimental pictures. He likes trying new techniques and methods, and seeks not to be just a spectator but to be in the midst of the shot, without actually being in the photo. He explains: “For example, I was taking pictures of some dancers. So in this way, I actually took my camera and was in dancing with the performers, while taking the pictures.” He’s recently been part of a collective exposition at the Maison des Cultures at St Gilles called “9 Photographers”. His creation involved video projection onto bodies - he projected the movies with music playing at the same time, and asked the model to react to the image and the sound. Martin says it takes him at least six weeks to put pictures together, but in typical artistic fashion, he sometimes finds himself under pressure at the end to get finished by the deadline. As well as doing exhibitions, Martin works as a fashion photographer, and has many shoots taking place around Brussels. For this part of his job, he goes by an alias – so if you meet a William Blake around the city, check that it’s not our long-haired photographer. Karen McHugh

Checking out the Jingle Balls at the shiny Atomium Continued from Page 1

The totem of the Brussels skyline that is the Atomium is neither tower, nor pyramid. A bit cubic, a bit spherical, it is half-way between sculpture and architecture, a relic of the past with a determinedly futuristic look. But it also serves a modern, everyday purpose, as a museum and exhibition centre and is the only symbol of its kind in the world. The Atomium was the main pavilion and icon of the World Fair of Brussels (1958), commonly called Expo 58. It symbolised the post-war will to maintain peace. But, in its own peculiar way, it also represent progress, both technical and scientific. It offers an optimistic vision of the future of a modern, new, super-technological world for the better life for mankind. If this all this sounds far-fetched, then consider the visitor figures. Since 1958, it has attracted 42 million visitors. The numbers are even more impressive since it reopened, just over five years ago, after a major refurbishment which saw it closed for

two years. Since then, it has lured an average of 550,000 people each year, compared with an annual average of 300,000 before the refurb. French and Germans are the most frequent visitors, followed by the Dutch, Spanish and the Brits. At 102 metres high, with its nine interconnected spheres, it represents an elementary iron crystal enlarged 165 billion (thousand million) times and was dreamed up by the engineer André Waterkeyn (1917-2005). The spheres, though, were fitted out by the architects André and Jean Polak. The Atomium was not intended to survive beyond the 1958 World Fair but its popularity and success soon made it a key landmark, first of Brussels then internationally. The refurbishment involved, among other things, the replacement of the plates covering the spheres with stainless steel. Now, even on the grimmest of Brussels’ days, it now shines like a UFO overseeing the whole city. If you haven’t caught up with the new-look Atomium, then give it a go soon. It is well worth the effort. More info here.

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Things you didn’t know that you didn’t know... Mike Moscrop offers his bite-size guide to some very old Brussels bricks. And stuff While marauding down the rues and straats of Brussels, you must surely have come across the endless parade of old buildings, that all look very reminiscent of a block you’ve just walked past, four minutes earlier. No you haven’t walked in circles, that’s just Belgian architecture. Cherubs, and Knights adorn most squares, and beige buildings built with big stones are just one of those things in the capital. Some, though are steeped in history, so to pique your interest in something you otherwise might not have noticed, we’re going to look at some of those bricks, in a little more detail. Obviously Grand’Place is something you’ve all seen and been to, though to many of us it is just merely a road that needs traversing to get us to another boozer. But there’s a little more to her than that. Did you know that it is a UNESCO World Heritage Site? Oh, you did - smartarse. Okay, well how about it’s age? Did you know that in some form or another, the market has stood there since the 13th century? Not only that, it’s seen some action too. In 1695, it was flattened by the French, then it was rebuilt and then sacked again less than one hundred years later. It was then left in disarray and began to collapse, until being rebuilt in the 19th century, to become a market square once more. Whenever tourists visit Brussels, they all flock to see the Manneken-Pis. Most find it amusing and regard it as nothing more than a little boy taking a wazz, which in essence is all it is. But there’s more! Did you know that it was erected more than four hundred years ago, in 1618? During its centuries-old life, the statue has been half-inched no less than seven times and might not actually be the original. Legend has it that the statue was a replacement for a stone version that was also nicked before Jerome Duquesnoy finally replaced it with the one you see today. A little further away, you’ve probably noticed the Palais de Justice. This gargantuan building, finished in 1883, was ordered by Leopold I, the first King of the Belgians. Like Grand’Place, it too has seen a bit of action, namely towards the end of the Second World War. The very evening before Belgium was to be liberated, those nasty Nazi’s decided to raze the symbolic building to the ground. It didn’t quite go according to plan, and because they only buggered it up a bit and didn’t tear it down, it was hastily rebuilt two years later. Anybody that’s been on a bus heading downtown has doubtless come across the big cathedral of St. Michel and St. Gudula. Despite being renovated during the during the 1400s, the cathedral retains some of it’s original

design and it used as the de facto church for royal events. Speaking of royalty, it is likely that while sitting on aforementioned bus, getting battered by the cobblestones, you’ve noticed the Palais Royal de Bruxelles. Yes, the King of Belgium’s oﬃcial palace. If you’ve noticed that, then you’ve of course noticed that...he’s never in. Despite the fact that it’s often empty, the palace is covered in illustrious history, well okay...history. Did you know that its original incarnation was built in the 18th century and that, today, the building is surrounded by a much later palace built more than 100 years later? The Holy Roman Emperor Charles V relinquished his throne, in favour of Mr. Failed Armada Phillip II of Spain inside those very grounds, though the exact spot has long since been lost. Extensive renovations have expanded the palace even more during the last century to create the behemoth it is today, albeit an empty one. There are countless other seemingly “dull” buildings in Brussels too, each with their own fantastic tales and little-known facts. Perhaps you should get yourself a tour guide...

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A good or bad Thing? Picturenose’s James Drew says bonjour with a review of a long-awaited (and feared, in some quarters) prequel... Ladies and gentlemen, I approach this review with much gratitude and more than a little trepidation. Firstly, this represents the 600th post to date on our Picturenose.com website what better time to begin a splendid new collaboration with Bxl30Days? From now on, your favourite Brussels leisure e-zine will also feature a full guide to the movies - previews, reviews, features and competitions, you’ll have the lot, you lucky people! And, if I may to begin, a huge ‘thank-you’ from myself and Picturenose partner-in-crime Colin Moors to all the faithful visitors who have been with us since we started, back in August 2007. It’s been so much fun so far - we only hope that you want to keep it with us, both here and on our site. Seriously, thanks. But now, business must intrude, and here comes the trepidation - namely, The Thing (2011), Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.’s prequel/ companion piece to John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982) which, if you have followed the site at all during the past four-and-a-half years, you will know is, in this reviewer’s opinion, just about the best horror film ever made. So, it’s safe to say that when news first reached me that a sequel-remake-prequel to John Carpenter’s film was on the cards, deep joy was not my immediate reaction. Subsequent news of changing writers and reshoots didn’t exactly help, either, but, thank God, it is my pleasure to report that Heijningen Jr. has, in taking the

prequel route (which, let’s face it, was the only logical way to go) managed to make a film that, at the very least, does not taint the memory of the original and stands up as a fairly decent fear flick in its own right. Seriously, and I hope you will agree with me here, when one considers just how bad this could have been, anything better than appalling is a blessing, and The Thing is certainly much better than that. Phew. Of course, before it looks like I am getting carried away, let it be quickly known that this is nowhere near as good as the first film, overplays its hand badly in more than a few ways and will, I believe, be consigned to the cinematic-oddity category rather than a longstanding companion to Carpenter’s masterpiece. For those who don’t know the original plot, a brief summary (which is just as well, because I feels as if I have previously summarized this film sufficiently) - in 1982, an all-male Antarctica research camp is disturbed by the arrival of two wild Norweigans, who have followed a husky dog across the frozen wastes by helicopter and very much want to kill it. They don’t succeed in their aim and both die, but the dog survives, and that is where the fun starts - an investigative trip to the camp from whence the visitors hailed reveals a desolate, burning wreckage, a man who has cut his own throat and wrist and the discovery of a singularly weird body that appears to have ‘melted’ into itself. “My God,” says Doctor Copper (Richard Dysart) to MacReady (Kurt Russell), ‘what the hell happened here?’” Well, they are about to find

out and, now, so are we – Heijningen Jr.’s film follows paleontologist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), who is brought on to a Norweigan team that has discovered a ‘structure’ and a ‘specimen’ buried in ice that is at least 100,000 years old. Ambitious, driven scientist Dr. Sander Halvorson (Eric Christian Olsen) is the leader of the largely Norwegian team, which is about to be attacked by a terrifying intruder... Carpenter’s film worked so very well for so many reasons, but not least of these was its elements of surprise - of course, van Heijningen Jr. and screenwriter Eric Heisserer cannot be blamed for the fact that most viewers will obviously know where this is heading, it is a prequel after all, but the creative team could still have chosen to conceal quite a bit more than they have revealed. Back in 1982, no one had seen the like of Rob Bottin’s amazing Thing special effects before and, because there was no CGI back then, the design team was completely reliant on model-matte work and sophisticated stop-motion techniques. This made the monster (which was shown far more sparingly than in the new film) somehow more organic and much more terrifying than when it appears (which it does far too frequently) in the prequel. Secondly, it is fair to say that the acting range displayed by most players here is, without being deliberately unkind, somewhat limited. I mean to say, if Lovecraftian monsters began attacking me, I think I would display a little more emotion than fraught breathing and vaguely shocked expressions, which are just about all that Winstead seems able to manage. And yet, and

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yet...there are still some decent, suspenseful set-pieces here, not least of which comes when Lloyd has to face oﬀ virtually the entire team, think quick as to some way of discovering who’s who, and decide who needs to be separated. The Thing, you see (in a worthy innovation) cannot duplicate non-organic matter, spitting

out such things as ﬁllings when it takes people over, so it’s time to open wide. In addition, the script manages the none-too-easy task of lending proceedings as much credibility as possible, even if the full, apocalyptic scale of the menace is communicated with much less subtlety than previously. In the ﬁnal analysis then, yes, it’s worth

a view, no, you will not enjoy it as much as the ﬁrst movie but, to be fair, van Heijningen Jr. and team have remained as faithful as possible to Carpenter’s original and introduced a fresh vision which, while it will never gain the cult status of The Thing (1982), does not deserve to be dismissed out of hand. 103 mins. On general release across Europe.

‘They’re young, they’re in love, and they make movies’ “A film is a ribbon of dreams. The camera is much more than a recording apparatus; it is a medium via which messages reach us from another world that is not ours and that brings us to the heart of a great secret. Here magic begins.” Thus spake the late, great Orson Welles, a man who knew more than most (at least, in his younger days) about why cinema was and is the most vibrant expression of creativity on the planet. The best directors tend to be those, be they a Spielberg, Kubrick, Von Trier or Truffaut, who do not lose the sense of awe that childhood and being young inspire, and who are able to translate this into shared experience for all people, for all times. And there is no doubt that the young, and young at heart, are still responding to the art form - a recent study, conducted by Time in the US, found that 30 days after studying a book, children remember only 30% of what they could recall the next morning. However, three months after seeing a film, they remembered 90% of what they were able to describe the morning after. In the US, the number of young people who visit the cinema every week is around 28 million and, of these, 11 million are under 14. At a European level (Eurostat 2006) more than 82% of 16- to 24-yearolds went to see at least one film in the study reference year, a share that was twice high as for those aged 30 and over. In 17 European countries, more than 50% of young Europeans aged 1624 went to the cinema between one and six times in the year preceding the survey. Moreover, in Belgium, Ireland, Spain, France, Luxembourg, Austria and Iceland more than 35% of people in this age bracket went to the cinema more than six times per year. To a lesser extent, cinema was also popular among young people aged 25-29 - in all countries under review, more than 40% of people aged 25-29 went to the cinema at least once in the year preceding the survey. In Ireland, Spain and Luxembourg, respectively 29%, 33% and 35% of the population aged 25-29 went to see seven or more films in the year preceding the survey. It has been found that onscreen sex is most disturbing to cinema addicts aged 16, cinemas excite children three times more than adults, and girls who have been ‘led astray’ in life believe that cinema was a contributory factor to their tough times. No country for old men? On both sides of the Atlantic, hiring young directors, who are far more likely to be in touch with their peers’ tastes, senses and sensibilities, is becoming ever more the norm – many of today’s top filmmakers began shooting features when they were young. Taking a random sample of directors who broke through in the 1990s and 2000s – many of them were around 30 when their first features came out: Keenen Ivory Wyans (I’m Gonna Git You Sucka (1988)), Michael Bay (Bad Boys (1995)), David Fincher (Alien 3 (1992)), and Spike Jones (Being John Malkovich (1999)). A little older on their debuts were Alex Proyas at 31 (The Crow (1994)), Cameron Crowe at 32 (Say Anything (1989)), James Mangold at 32 (Heavy (1995)), Karyn Kusuma at 32 (Girlfight (2000)), McG at 32 (Charlie’s Angels (2000)), David Koepp at 33 (The Trigger Effect (1996)), Allison Anders at 33 (Border Radio (1987)) and Mark Neveldine at 33 (Crank (2006)). And these, in fact, are the older examples - there are numerous current directors who completed their first feature in their twenties. Quentin Tarantino, Reginald Hudlin, Roger Avary, and Joe Carnahan began aged 29, Sofia Coppola and Brett Ratner at 28, and Peter Jackson and F. Gary Gray were a mere 26. Fancy some (perhaps) even more famous names to round out the list? OK - read on for further cinematic fountains of youth...

Dementia 13 (1963): Francis Ford Coppola, 24. (You’re a Big Boy Now was released when Coppola was 27.) Who’s That Knocking at My Door? (1967): Martin Scorsese, 25. Dark Star (1974): John Carpenter, 26. THX 1138 (1971): George Lucas, 27. Night of the Living Dead (1968): George A. Romero, 28. The Sugarland Express (1974): Steven Spielberg, 28. If you count the TV feature Duel, subtract three years. Targets (1968): Peter Bogdanovich, 29. Dillinger (1973): John Milius, 29. Blue Collar (1978): Paul Schrader, 32. Good Times (with Sonny and Cher) (1967): William Friedkin, 32. Easy Rider (1969): Dennis Hopper, 33. It’s simple, really - Hollywood and European ﬁlm studios were essentially run by the old men, who had brought the system to the brink of collapse. The twentysomethings tore down the barricades and made a place for young ﬁlmmakers - and guess what? They’re still here today and, for the good of our collective “ribbon of dreams”, long may that continue.

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You starting something, then? James and Colin offer their favourite five movie openings of all time. Do feel free to share your faves with us too, won’t you? James’s Top Five 5. Jaws (1975) Dir. Steven Spielberg The movie that changed summer cinema for ever - there is so much to talk about in Spielberg’s thrilling, amazing adventure, and he certainly knew how to start with a bang. John Williams’ mournful, scary theme precedes the ‘she was the first’ moment, as the film’s original tagline put it - Amity resident Chrissie (Susan Backlinie) fancies a midnight dip with a newfound friend who, fortunately for him, is too drunk to even take his clothes off. Unfortunately for Chrissie, there’s something else in the water with her, and we all know what, don’t we? As with Psycho (1960), the first audiences must have been left reeling. Click here. 4. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) Dir. Steven Spielberg Another one from Mr Spielberg - yes, I know, this was probably the least of the three Indy movies (and I’m not including Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) in my considerations, because that doesn’t strictly speaking qualify as being a film), but it was still uproarious fun, and the opening, harking back as it does to screwball comedies of the 1930s (though with a decidedly darker tone), is quite simply a belter. I mean to say, just how much action can be crammed into ten minutes? Well, see for yourself, and if it’s your first view, I envy you. Click here. Colin’s Top Five 3. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) Dir. Stanley Kubrick Magisterial doesn’t even come close. The late, truly great Stanley Kubrick, who was quite probably the 20th century’s greatest director, has a little go here at ‘The Dawn of Man’ in his prologue to the ‘ultimate trip’ journey into mankind’s potential future that 2001: A Space Odyssey goes on to be. Seriously, the scene where a proto-human, who, along with his tribe is starving in the wilderness despite being surrounded by acres of porcine flesh, puts two and two together with a femur, thanks to the intervention of ‘The Monolith’, is one of the most hair-raising moments in cinema, period, with Strauss’s Also Sprach Zarathustra as its backdrop. Simply jaw-dropping. Click here. 2. Glengarry Glen Ross (1992) Dir. James Foley ‘Put. That coffee. Down...Coffee is for closers only.’ Blake (Alec Baldwin) is explaining the new sales competition to the harried, over-worked inhabitants of a Chicago real-estate office: Blake: We’re adding a little something to this month’s sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? [Holds up prize] Blake: Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired. Blake: These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you they’re gold, and you don’t get them. Why? Because to give them to you would be throwing them away. They’re for closers. He’s only on-screen for around ten minutes, and he ever-so nearly won an Oscar - Baldwin’s merciless destruction and humiliation of salesmen Jack Lemmon, Ed Harris and Alan Arkin (Al Pacino is also involved, but not in this scene) is one of the most wincingly cool rants you will ever see - it’s a tough world out there. Click here. And James’s winner is... 1. Get Carter (1971) Dir. Mike Hodges And thus, from my favourite gangster movie of all time comes my favourite opening - it’s almost as if Jack Carter (Michael Caine) is already in heaven, as we pan into the somehow ‘elevated’ pad of which he is looking out the window; then, of course, it’s curtains for Carter (geddit?) as we join the hitman, his employers and gangster’s moll Britt Ekland in a place that is in fact very far from paradise. Carter wants to go up North to Newcastle, to investigate the mysterious death of his brother Frank - Jack never really liked him much, screwed his wife behind his back and may even be the father of Frank’s daughter, Doreen (Petra Markham). But this is different. This, as they say, is family. Then, we have Roy Budd’s singularly haunting refrain, a sense of real menace that begins very early, and the little train trip that Carter decides to take, despite his boss’s orders. A pity for him, but nothing short of marvellous for us. Click here.

5. Paris, Texas (1984) Dir. Wim Wenders Wim Wenders could never be accused of pandering to the explosions and car chases cinema demographic - and the opening sequence to what is, for my money, his best non-documentary movie, is all the proof you’d ever need. Opening with a lingering aerial shot of the parched Texas landscape, very slowly zooming in on the hero - if you want to call him thus - Travis (Harry Dean Stanton) wandering around the barely inhabited landscape dressed somewhat incongruously in sneakers, a suit and tie and a bright red baseball cap. The camera slowly pans in as he takes the last sip of water out of his plastic jug, tosses it aside and continues walking to who-knows-where, as the camera follows his unsteady march, almost to vanishing point. The arid landscape, the beautiful camera work and an unforgettably spartan soundtrack from Ry Cooder all combine to set the tone for this gorgeous slow burn of a movie. Those who can’t get past this and enjoy a wonderful, if heartbreaking, story may want to check out the Steven Seagal back catalogue. Click here. 4. Goodfellas (1990) Dir. Martin Scorsese Damn it, even the titles are subtle. The names of the director and stars sliding on and off screen, white on black, in time with the whooshing doppler-effect noise of passing cars. Smash cut into a big 1970s car speeding along the freeway with three wiseguys inside. These particular wiseguys are played by what I guess would be Mafia royalty in film star circles (and maybe outside too, but don’t quote me on that) Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci. Henry (Liotta) enquires in a vigorous manner as to the nature of the suspicious thumping noise coming from the boot (trunk for our US chums) of the car. Henry opens the boot and is confronted by something poorly-swathed that is clearly supposed to be a dead body. The victim’s status is still very much ‘not dead’- a situation that is hastily amended by Tommy and Jimmy (Pesci and De Niro) who mercilessly and repeatedly stab and shoot him. Henry steps back and the voiceover, in his words, begins: “As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster...”. Cue the big band sound of Tony Bennett and a few more zooming titles. Marvellous. Click here. 3. The Italian Job (1965) Dir. Peter Collinson Even before we’re introduced to the cast, which at best could be called eclectic, or the back-story with its wide-boy charm and classic capers, we are treated to an opening-scene-cum-title-sequence par excellence. (Top Gear mode on) A beautiful Lamborghini Miura sweeps and growls around some of the best driving roads in the world, nestled high in the Italian Alps, the driver in a polo-neck and shades, smoking and enjoying the curves (Top Gear mode off ). Legendary crooner Matt Munro oozes his way

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through On Days Like These as the car guns through hairpin after hairpin in the steely Italian sunshine. Even for non-drivers or Jeremy Clarksonhaters, this is what driving is all about. The car rounds a corner, heads into a tunnel and - BAM! Click here. 2. The Dark Knight (2008) Dir. Christopher Nolan Regular readers of Picturenose will no doubt be reassured by the fact I have been able to shoehorn this movie into a list at last. I do like TDK more than a little bit but I’ll beg your indulgence while I explain just why this is a great opener. I would venture that this is such a strong opening scene that many other film makers would be happy to have this as a denouement. They’d probably also use the budget to make five other films, but that’s by the by. A tight-ish zoom into the middle of a glass skyscraper where a window gently pops out. A couple of goons wearing clown masks zipline to the roof of the bank opposite and begin to take out the alarm systems. Three more masked men enter the main building of the bank and begin what I believe in financial terms is called a hostile takeover of the place. What five out of six of these masked intruders don’t know is that they have all individually been given orders to ‘dispense with’ their accomplices once their role is over in order to increase their share in the proceeds. Down to two men left, one pulls a gun on the other and mockingly says: “I’m bettin’ the Joker told you to kill me, soon as we loaded the cash”. “No, no” says the other guy “I kill the bus driver.” Bus driver? What bus driver? The bus smashes through the front wall of the bank, killing the would-be killer. The bus driver is duly dispatched, leaving one lone bank robber. Challenged by the wounded bank manager, he pulls off his mask to reveal...another mask. All this in the first six minutes of film. Click here. And Colin’s winner is... 1. Un Chien Andalou (1929) Dir. Luis Buñuel Anybody who grew up in the eighties would know about Pixies - the painfully hip band that you simply had to like if you were anyone at all. It turns out they were actually pretty good. I digress a little. One of their more famous musical outings was a number called Debaser, which begins with the unlikely couplet “got me a movie, oh ho ho ho/slicing up eyeballs, oh ho ho ho”. Unlikely, that is, unless you’ve seen the opening sequence

from the quite deliciously bizarre Un Chien Andalou (1929). Written and devised by Buñuel himself and Salvador Dalí, it’s not a ﬁlm for the squeamish or the easily unsettled. The imagery is, shall we say, ‘thought-provoking’ and the entire 16 minutes seem to ﬂy past like a bad dream. What always sticks in people’s heads is the entirely unpleasant opening scene. A man strops a cut-throat razor on a leather belt, a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. Still smoking, he wanders into the next room where he pulls open the eye of a passive, seated female and draws the blade across it, the scene cut with a sliver of cloud going across the face of the moon. Cut back to the eye and the vitreous humor is seeping out. It does get considerably more bizarre from there, with dead donkeys, pianos, sailors and a soundtrack by Wagner, but that’s the bit that lodges in the mind. A real audience-grabber. Click here.

En route... As the year draws to its close, a quick preview of a selection of films (one per week) heading to Brussels in the last days of December... 7 December Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark Well, it’s written by Guillermo del Toro, who is justifiably renowned in the horror genre for work such as Mimic (1997) and Pan’s Labyrinth (2006), and it’s got Guy Pearce in it, which is never a bad thing. However, whether the tale of a young girl (Bailee Madison) who discovers creatures in her new home that want to claim her as one of their own will actually be scary at all, is another matter entirely. It’s director Troy Nixey’s first effort at a feature, so let’s hope he deserves another chance... 14 December Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol And he’s back for chapter the fourth - the IMF is implicated in the bombing of the Kremlin, so Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and his new team are forced to go rogue and behind the lines to clear the organisation’s name. Director Brad Bird makes the leap from animation (Ratatouille (2007), The Incredibles (2004)) to live action, and Picturenose reckons there’s every chance it will be OK, hell, maybe even pretty good. On verras... 21 December Hugo The great Martin Scorsese trys his hand at another genre, namely the family action adventure - a 12-year-old orphan who lives in the walls of a Paris train station in 1930 and a mystery involving the boy, his late father, a robot, and none other than the father of cinema himself, Georges Méliès (Ben Kingsley). Sounds intriguing, dontcha think? Just in time for Christmas, too. 28 December Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows Ahem. It’s by Guy Ritchie, the first one was crap - if you absolutely must, is our guess. And, in conclusion, just a quick plug for the upcoming Be Film Festival, which will be held in Brussels from 19-23 December, and is organised by our very good friends at Bozar and Cinematek. That’s about it, really, save to say that the festival promises, as it has been previously, to be a glorious melting pot of cinematic talent from the North and South of Belgium, with a multitude of distinctive, eclectic and quirky films for which the country is justly renowned. For more information, click here and, until next time, Picturenose hopes that you all have a great festive season!

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Vampires in love? Pain in the neck

Picturenose’s critic Agata Olbrycht lets us know why you really won’t fancy a bite of the latest Twilight mush fest, which is still on general release, worse luck... In part four of the Twilight saga we learn something about vampire procreation, Edward’s lack of paternal instinct and wolf talk, and we pay a high price for the little information that we get. Following Harry Potter‘s example, the producers of the second-most famous teen saga decided to split the finale and present only half of the story to audiences this autumn, the story being that of 18-year-old Bella (Kristen Stewart) finally getting married to the teenage (ish) vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson). In spite of all the disapproval expressed by Bella’s father’s and her ex wolf-boyfriend, Jacob (Taylor Lautner), Bella decides to tie the knot and performs, in one of the first scenes, what may be the most ungraceful walk up the aisle ever. And the most unhappy, too - by now, we are used to Kristen’s sulking, sighing, constant lip-biting and teeth clenching, but my God, could she not lighten up a bit, at least for her wedding? I guess that what director Bill Condon wanted to show us is how deeply complicated and unsettling is the poor girl’s situation - she is, after all, about to marry a vampire and possibly be turned into one at some point too. And a good thing that he informed us; otherwise the oversimplified (to say the least) dialogue really wouldn’t tell us much about her thoughts. Coming back to the plot, the wedding day is followed by an equally ungraceful take on the wedding night (which, however, does take place

in Brazil, which is pretty cool). Soon after that, Bella finds out that she is pregnant. The news comes as a great surprise to the whole vampire clan , and is not welcomed by anyone but the teenage mom, who is soon forced to face the real torture of a human-vampire pregnancy. Living in Bella’s belly, the new Rosemary’s Baby is eating her mom alive. Literally. After a very gruesome birth scene we find out, however, that the little devil is a healthy, pretty baby girl. So pretty, in fact, that the werewolf Jacob falls in love with her (how weird?) and imprints on her a bond to keep them together until the end of their days. Yes, werewolves can imprint a sexual bond on newborn babies, in case you didn’t know. There is a little bit of werewolf drama as a background story, with a lot of barking going on, but nothing to be too concerned about. Jacob is fighting to be a leader of a pack and ends up as a defender of Bella’s new family against his own bretheren - a change of director (David Slade has directed the saga’s previous epsiodes) has not helped the movie to any great extent; in fact, it hasn’t helped at all. The dialogue is still limited, the actors still wooden, the plot’s as silly as always and the whole thing about as emotionless as it gets. Fair play to the make-up artists though, who were supposed to make Kristen look miserable and half-dead, and have succeeded well. The only passably pleasant moment, seriously, is a short sequence with Edward’s reminiscences of the ‘old times’, in a black-andwhite homage to the Bride of Frankenstein (1935). Apart from that, with the two main strong suits noticeably absent (Edward doesn’t sparkle and Jacob doesn’t run around shirtless), the film has very little to offer. Running time: 117 mins.

Giving in to Pier pressure Words and pictures by Lucy Mallows Most weekend visitors to Brighton arrive by train at the elegantly faded Victorian railway station. The three-storey, Italianate building was designed in 1840 by David Mocatta and incorporated the head office of the London & Brighton Railway (L&BR). After leaving the cavernous white station building, head first down Queen’s Road and take the second left onto North Road, a street crammed with tattoo and piercing parlours, to start the day’s tripping in the best way imaginable, a hearty brunch at Bill’s. It’s highly likely you’ll have to queue up along the side of the large, open-plan raftered room, but the super-friendly, efficient waiting staff bring visitors little shots of coffee to sip while perusing the colourful cans and packets of produce - olive oil, jams, lentils - that line the walls. Bill Collison is legendary for his breakfasts and my Eggs Florentine was the best I’ve ever tasted, with perfectly poached eggs oozing their yolks over the spinach. The breakfast menu also offers fish finger sandwiches, veggie and meaty breakfasts, bubble and squeak, scrambled eggs with smoked salmon - and, of course, there is a huge selection of simply-prepared, fresh, local ingredients for lunch and dinner too. With a full belly and renewed vigour is the best way to approach the North Laine district just beyond Bill’s doors. This part of town is packed with tiny bistros, funky cafés, fabulous pubs, vintage clothes emporia and an endless array of

individual traders tempting you into their stores with imaginative window displays. There’s even a great open-air ﬂea and bric-a-brac market on Saturday morning along Upper Gardener Street, where you can pick up anything from a retro cine camera to a vintage ball gown. Snoopers Paradise, Brighton’s biggest indoor ﬂea market, is open all week and located on the parallel street, Kensington Gardens. North Laine encompasses all that’s great about Brighton; it’s friendly, relaxed, arty and openminded, and just a bit bohemian and eccentric. Brighton must be one of the few towns left in Britain that doesn’t have its main streets lined cheek to cheek with multinational and corporate outlets. The big names are there too, of course, but the individual traders, craftsmen, artists, cheese- and sausage-makers, picture framers and baristas hold their own and occupy almost all the prime locations in the two great shopping districts: North Laine and The (Old) Lanes, a labyrinthine network of alleys and streets near the seafront. The Lanes is a good stopping-point before you hit the sea. From Bill’s and the North Laine district, continue south passing the Royal Pavilion. Built in stages by John Nash between 1787 and 1823, as a pleasure palace for the Prince Regent (who was later crowned King George IV), the Royal Pavilion stands out from the crowd with its exotic oriental appearance, something like a South Coast Taj Mahal. Inside, the royal bedrooms, reception rooms, kitchen and Indian Military Hospital gallery can be visited and the

tearoom offers traditional treats such as Welsh rarebit and spiced bread-and-butter pudding. The Royal Pavilion is situated on Old Steine, an open space where fishermen used to lay out their nets to dry. In the 18th century, it became the heart of Brighton’s fashionable society. These days, the open, green area is usually filled with double-decker buses. Another feature of Brighton’s humane and humorous attitude to life is the naming of buses. Since 1999, the double-deckers have been given the names of famous people - living or dead - with a Brighton and Hove connection. It’s possible to take a ride on Isambard Kingdom Brunel (route number 673), Dusty Springfield (865) or Sir Norman Wisdom (421), among others. From Old Steine, The Lanes district is on your right when facing the sea. On your left is the start of Kemp Town, the heart of Brighton’s significant gay community; St James’s Street is lined with a collection of gay bars, antique stores and groovy charity shops. The Shelter charity shop is definitely worth a detour, as the charming French manager, Veronique, has turned it into a fashionable boutique, yet with marvellous clothing bargains. Back to The Lanes for a potter around the passages, known locally as ‘twittens’, an old Sussex dialect word for small passageways leading between courtyards. The Lanes are steeped in history and tales of ghosts, smugglers and the grey nun, a medieval sister who fell in love with a soldier. The pair eloped but they were captured and the soldier

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executed. As punishment, the nun was walled up in Meeting House Lane and left to die. The cell can still be seen to this day and the nun’s ghost has been spotted scuttling along Ship Street. Outside the Druid’s Head pub, visitors can sign up for a Ghost Walk of The Lanes, setting off at 7.30pm Wednesday to Saturday. If you’re feeling thirsty, be sure to pop into Brighton’s oldest pub, The Cricketers, in Black Lion Street. This pub was immortalised by Graham Greene in Brighton Rock and is where Jack the Ripper suspect Robert Stephenson stayed before relocating to the Whitechapel district of London. If you need a pick-me-up, the Tic Toc Café is hidden down an alley and provides excellent brews and also a Belgian chocolate ‘lolly’ on a stick, which comes with a glass of warm milk to dunk it in. It’s very reviving and heart-warming. Finally, we arrive at the real reason for the day trip - the seaside. Brighton’s amazing seafront stretches for five, pebble-covered miles from Hove Lagoon, situated to the west of the centre and the site of Heather Mills’s award-winning vegan café, along a busy promenade as far as Brighton Marina in the east; a new development packed with crusty old fishing boats, smart yachts, restaurants, a multiplex cinema and a swanky health club. En route, from west to east, there’s so much to do and see it would take a week to try everything. However, visitors should definitely not miss a stroll along the pier, through the tacky and loud amusement arcade, past the

restaurant serving the best fish and chips in town, the stalls selling souvenirs, candy floss and biltong snacks, all the way to the funfair at the end, where the roller coaster loops the loop right over the waves and spooky noises can be heard emanating from the ghost train. At dusk, the pier is the place to be for an amazing natural spectacle, as 50,000 starlings swoop and swirl in a synchronised symphony. The birds also gather at the West Pier, now a rusting metal lattice of girders standing sadly and solitarily in the waves. The West Pier burned on several occasions, the last time in 2003. It was designed and built in 1866 by Eugenius Birch to attract visitors with its pomp and frippery, while being stable and sturdy enough to survive in the hostile seashore environment. Between the West Pier and the new Brighton Pier, the seafront under the promenade is known as the Artists’ Quarter as it is lined with little galleries and craft shops, interspersed with the occasional bar or fish and chip stall. The Fortune of War is a good pub for a pint and a sit by the sea to watch the (usually) stunning sunset. Just beyond the pier, the Brighton Wheel is a fabulous addition to a seafront already packed with fun, entertaining things to do. It also makes a great photo opportunity and the wheel turns until late in the evening. Under the Brighton Wheel is the Crazy Golf (£2.50 a go) course, although there’s another, more fancy, Adventure Golf (£4 a go), located just beyond the

Yellowave beach sports venue and the great Barefoot Café, further east along the coast towards the Marina. Adventure Golf is open throughout the winter, at weekends. Brighton’s seafront is the venue for activities every weekend, from vintage car rallies to biker meetings, there’s a five-kilometre Santa Dash charity run along the seafront on Saturday 10 December and a Christmas Day morning swim in the sea, for the foolhardy and/or super-fit, when the lifeguards dress up as Santas too. Beyond the Marina, an ‘undercliff coastal path’ leads along the waterside for about two and a half miles until it ends abruptly in a wall of rock at Saltdean. This can be a lovely way to escape the vast crowds of visitors, milling about near the pier and Brighton Wheel in all seasons and weathers. The seaside is splendid in summer, but a walk along a windy, wintery beach can also be exhilarating and spirit-lifting. On the way to Saltdean, there’s a great beachside café, at Rottingdean, providing bacon sarnies in the morning, tea in proper mugs for a quid and a wide selection of homemade cakes. Young or old, gay or straight, conservative or bohemian, sporty or sedate; everybody will find something to enjoy, at any time of the year. Brighton rocks! The Cricketers, 15 Black Lion Street Tic Toc Café, 53 Meeting House Lane The Fortune of War, 157 Kings Road Arches

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Driving home for Christmas? Gear up to get away instead If you don’t fancy another Christmas stuck at home watching repeats on TV, playing party games and entertaining relatives you only see once a year, then its not too late to book a seasonal escape... Fancy a fully staffed villa in Morocco with 15% off? Or going heli-golfing on Boxing Day from your private French chateau? The Villa Barek in Marrakech (opposite, below left) sleeps ten and there’s a15% price reduction for Christmas and New Year. Imagine that your whole family (or you and your mates) fly out to for a Christmas dinner made by the villa staff against the backdrop of the mighty Atlas mountains. Instead of a cold, northern European-style walk on Boxing Day you can head into Marrakech for its heady and lively atmosphere. Alternatively, head to the Bordeaux/Cognac area of France for a stay at the Chateau Des Seigneurs, which features an indoor pool, tennis court, gym, heli-golfing and is also nicely discounted for Christmas and New Year. Imagine having a charming French chateau all to yourself with facilities aplenty to help the party go with a swing - literally - as the pièce de résistance is the option to ‘ heli-golf’ - a private helicopter can pick you up from the chateau’ s own heliport and whisk you to one of a number of selected golf courses. It beats doing the washing up, at any rate. Then again, you might prefer heading off to a seaside resort for some winter sun. If so, how’s about the Columbia Beach Resort in Cyprus, (above) which could be your dream, tranquil getaway? It’s surrounded by peaceful vineyards and fragrant orchards and sits at the centre of Pissouri Bay. The hotel offers a warm and intimate atmosphere, luxurious accommodation and you could enjoy festive meals and Crimbo entertainment or just say ‘No’ and escape it all on the beautiful beach. Then there’s always the Hotel Volcan Lanzarote on the outskirts of Playa Blanca. With a choice of swimming pools, fountains and romantic squares, this is the sort of place for an intimate couple’s retreat. Serene evenings await - spent strolling through the Rubicón Marina, sampling the superb

Italian and gourmet restaurants - with not a turkey or Christmas pudding in sight. Also in Lanzarote is the five-star Hotel Dream Gran Castillo in Playa Blanca. It’s close to the breathtaking Playa Papagayo beach and boasts views of the ocean and the neighbouring Canary Islands. The hotel offers a spa, sauna, and Turkish bath all set in surroundings reminiscent of an ancient castle. The hotel’s decor was inspired by the local history and in particular the famous castle - Castillo de San Jose. Available in Albufeira, on the other hand, are getaways such as seven nights at the four-star Luna Alpinus Apartments in the Algarve (self-catering, pictured opposite below right). The complex is surrounded by gorgeous gardens and rolling trees, and has spacious, comfortable and well-appointed apartments. There’s an on-site restaurant and a good selection of local eateries within walking distance, ideal for sampling delicious and authentic local cuisine. You may not know this, but Santa Claus is coming to...Amsterdam. Well, sort of. But you could definitely be there for Christmas in a stylish hotel close to the centre and surrounded by trendy bars and cafes. One idea is a three-night trip staying at the four-star Fashion Hotel on a bed-and-breakfast basis - but there’s room for flexibility, so find out more, right here. As mentioned on the front page, the Cedar Court Grand Hotel & Spa (opposite, below centre) has become the first in York to attain AA 5-star status. Many of the rooms have views of the historic City Walls and Minster and, as a Grade II listed building, many original features have been kept: beautiful mosaic tiling, parquet floors and wood-panelled meeting rooms. General Manager, Maria Florou, told us: “The team here deserve enormous credit for what they have done - they have put their heart and soul into this project. “ And the restaurant’s Head Chef, Martin Henley, added: “The two AA Rosettes put us firmly on Yorkshire’s culinary map. Food lovers know that the Rosettes are a guaranteed seal of quality.” The hotel is also home to ‘Spa at the Grand’, one of Yorkshire’s most

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Around the EU in 30 days

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luxurious. Set in the building’s atmospheric vaults, it offers a range of therapeutic face and body care treatments, with guest-access to the gym, sauna, swimming pool, steam room and relaxation rooms. While we’re talking about York, another place well worth considering is 7 Precentor’s Court, ‘The House by the Minster’, which is a luxury self-catering holiday let, sleeping up to six people, in a gorgeous, four-storey Grade II-listed house just a stone’s throw from the Minster. It was acquired from the Dean and Chapter of York Minster in early 2008 and you can take a closer look, just by clicking here. Further north, in Scotland, Grasshoppers Glasgow (above) is a new 30-bedroom penthouse hotel overlooking the city’s station. Sandwiched between Glasgow’s international financial services district and the busy and bustling Buchanan Street - routinely named the best shopping street outside London - the hotel is already popular among business and leisure travellers and soaring up the ranks of TripAdvisor et al. But if northern England and Scotland seem almost-Christmasy but not quite, well, how about Sweden and more specifically Lulea, a little-known winter wonderland on the northern coast of Swedish Lapland? Think vast Narnia-esque vistas shared only by reindeer, lip-smacking regional fare, and exhilarating adventures on ice. With Swedish cuisine having its moment, this little-known region epitomises what Swedish gastronomy is all about - taking the shortest possible route to the table with uber-fresh ingredients from the nearby forests, fields and rivers. It’s in travel experts Black Tomato’s top ten places to visit and these guys know a thing or two. Check it out.

A capital 2012 Living within reach of Belgium and fancy a trip to London in the New Year? Well, you can bag an astonishingly priced €79 return-trip via Eurostar to the host city of the 2012 Olympic Games. The start of the year in London brings the famous sales (think Harrods, Fortnum & Mason, Harvey Nicks) and you can be there in around two hours from Gare du Midi, Brussels. There are also some cracking exhibitions opening in the UK’s capital next year, including ‘This is Design’ at the Design Museum and ‘Picasso Britain’ at the splendid Tate Britain. And, don’t forget, you’ll have the opportunity to visit the Olympic sites well before the athletes. Sprint way in front of the world’s fastest boys and girls for once! Then there’s the London Eye, river trips, West End shows, Premier League football...so much to do. For more information, head to the Eurostar site and check out tours of the Olympic Village too. Please note, the Eurostar promotion is for a standard ticket for departures between 3 January and 5 March, 2012.

The Getaway...

Around Brussels in 30 days - Page 18

Make a castle your home in the Garden of England Words by Martin Banks. Photos courtesy of English Heritage Fancy a spot of last-minute Christmas shopping? If so, you might consider jumping on a cross-channel ferry (or whatever mode of transport you prefer) for a short break in Kent. It’s just a couple of hours’ drive to Calais from Brussels and there really is no better place than Old Blighty when it comes to festive shopping. While in the self-styled ‘Garden of England’ why not take a break from those crowded shops and have a look at some of the county’s undoubted splendid visitor attractions? Close to the top of any ‘must see’ list is Kent

Castle. Combining a blend of heritage and history with 500 acres of beautiful parkland, the castle is the perfect backdrop for your day out. Open all year round, there really is something for everyone to enjoy. The ‘Key to the Castle’ ticket allows you to take a journey through 900 years of captivating history. And here’s a plus: tickets are valid for one year from the date of purchase, so you can visit the castle and grounds as many times as you like. For those looking for a longer stay, three historic properties located in the estate are available as self-catering holiday cottages. The cottages are ideal if you’re going to an

event at the castle or would enjoy a break in the beautiful Kent countryside, an hour from London and within easy reach of Canterbury, Sissinghurst Castle, historic Rochester and Chatham, and for walking in the Kent downs, an area of outstanding natural beauty. Apart from Christmas Day, the castle is open all year round and the gates open at 10am daily with entry to the castle from 10.30am. If you’re into castles then why not also visit Dover Castle (pictured right, tel: +44 870 333 1181) which is open all year round and features a dramatic new visitor centre, ‘Operation Dynamo: Rescue from Dunkirk’ (also pictured). Spectacularly situated above the White Cliffs of Dover, this magnificent castle has guarded English shores from invasion for 20 centuries. Explore the darkly atmospheric Secret Wartime Tunnels now with a vivid recreation of the Dunkirk evacuation, complete with dramatic projections of swooping Spitfires and real film footage, and the richly-furnished Great Tower, where costumed actors introduce medieval life at King Henry II’s court. With exciting exhibitions, winding tunnels to explore, ghosts to hunt out - and of course restaurants, shops and the space for youngsters to run around - an action-packed, great value day out awaits. Visits to Kent and Dover castles may possibly make you wonder what it would be like to step back in time and experience the sights, sounds and smells of a bygone era. If so, a visit to The Canterbury Tales, one of Kent’s most popular attractions, with its stunning reconstruction of 14th century England, is a must. Inside the historic building of St. Margaret’s Church you can step back over 500 years to join Geoffrey Chaucer (arguably England’s finest poet) and his colourful characters on their magical pilgrimage from London to the shrine of St. Thomas Becket in Canterbury Cathedral. Canterbury is, of course, the Kentish town that easily pulls in most visitors and one of its most popular attractions is a historic tour on the River Stour, which gently meanders through the city. It offers an enjoyable insight into Canterbury’s historic past which can capture the imagination of people from all age groups and form part of a great day out in Canterbury for adults, families, kids and visiting groups. As one of Canterbury’s main tourist attractions, in one of England’s principal tourist cities, the guided tour and ferry service (www.canterburyrivertours.co.uk) provides both visitors and locals with a unique vantage point to some of Canterbury’s most stunning and important architecture, and the company can trace its historic past to 1932. Flowing through the heart of historic Canterbury, the Stour is the perfect way to

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escape the hustle and bustle of one of the country’s busiest city centres, allowing you to discover parts of the city that are only accessible by our tour. Relatively close by is Howletts Wild Animal Park (Tel: +44 844 842 4647): a 90-acre adventure park in beautiful ancient parkland near Canterbury. This is an animal park with surprises around all corners. From glass-fronted tiger enclosures oﬀering a close encounter with the biggest of cats to gorillas, leopards, monkeys, and hundreds of rare and endangered species from around the world. It is also home to the UK’s largest herd of African elephants and the Black Rhino breeding sanctuary. For a close encounter like no other, the park allows you to walk alongside, and below, its free roaming family of amazingly agile and lively lemurs.

The park was set up by the late John Aspinall to protect and breed rare and endangered species and, where possible, return them to safe areas in the wild. The Aspinall Foundation manages two gorilla rescue and rehabilitation projects in the central African countries of Gabon and Congo. With these ground-breaking projects they’ve been able to successfully reintroduce more than 50 gorillas. By visiting Howletts and its ‘sister’ park at Port Lympne you adopt an animal and, in doing so, will be helping to protect these animals for the future. After a hard day’s sightseeing, you may want to seek sustenance at Carluccio’s Italian restaurant back in Canterbury (tel: +44 1227 769 420) which offers some of the county’s best cuisine. Spread across two floors, the caffè is situated on the ground floor, next to Whitefriars

on St George’s Street. Striking and modern, its fabulous combination of contemporary Italian restaurant, caffè and foodshop offers an authentic yet affordable Italian experience. This 81-seat restaurant, which has been open for a couple of years, is part of a chain of 60 eateries spread across the UK, with the latest recently opening in Scotland. It started as a humble deli in London’s trendy Covent Garden and the Canterbury diner occupies a central position inside the city’s famous Fenwick story. The food is prepared using the best fresh, natural ingredients, where possible from Italy. It is open Monday-Saturday from 9-21:00 and from 10-19:00 on Sunday. The wonderful service, like the very reasonably priced food, is absolutely top notch and, like much of the rest of Kent, comes highly recommended.

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Keuken Korner

‘It’s the foodie bit, dahling...’

Our man seeks out Greeks bearing gifts...and ends up with China in his hands The ever-hungry Martin Banks checks out two Brussels eateries

I love my Greek grub and, if it takes your fancy too, there’s absolutely top-notch Greek food available at aﬀordable prices at L’Atlantide, near Schuman (pictured below). The food, service and surroundings all tick the right boxes and how often can you say that when it comes to dining out? This family-run eatery lies at the heart of the EU quarter and it can count several EU commissioners and MEPs among its customers. Before he returned to the UK, Commission former vice-president Neil Kinnock was a regular. It’s easy to see why. Look out for the Saganaki (fried cheese) and Haloumi (grilled cheese) which are wonderful and a snip at just €7 each. Main dishes include the Ladorigani (lamb shoulder with oregano) and Kokinisto (lamb in tomato sauce) but there are also some old favourites featured, including mousasaka and kebabs. Try to round things oﬀ (like I did!) with some quite sublime home-made walnut cake. Everything is overseen by Vassilis and Sprios Arvanitis, brothers who came to Brussels some 21 years ago after studying in Paris. With the EU quarter still in its infancy, they cleverly spotted a niche for a Greek restaurant in the area, serving the sort of food that, well, mamma used to produce. The menu doesn’t change much but, then again, the food is so good that it doesn’t have to! As is the wont with Greek cuisine, the fare is heavily based on the use of virgin olive oil (specially imported from Crete), fresh vegetables and herbs, which means you’re guaranteed not only a delicious meal but a healthy one too. There’s always a daily suggestion, which changes depends by the season. And he brothers keep an eye on the most popular ones to add to the permanent menu. All the wines are Greek and one to try is Chateau Porto Carras. So conscientious are the brothers that they even redecorate the interior every year just to ensure that diners don’t get ‘bored’ with the surroundings. The family’s success in establishing possibly the best Greek

restaurant in Brussels mirrors that of the some of the Greek community in Belgium, said to number about 15,000. Many came to Belgium to work in the now-closed mines but have gone on to become professionals in other industries. This Greek home-from-home seats 38 and and is a world away from those found around Grand’Place - this is the real deal. Bear in mind that L’Atlantide is closed at weekends and booking is strongly recommended. 73 Rue Franklin 1000 Brussels Tel: 02 736 20 02 Meanwhile, I’m a bit of a fan of great Chinese food, too. And Yen Ping restaurant, established for several years, is still undiscovered by many Brussels folk. One reason could be that it’s tucked away down a street near the Flemish Parliament and is, therefore, frequented by plenty of lunchtime oﬃce workers but maybe not so many others living in various parts of the city. Its also very easy to miss unless, that is, you speak to one of its many contented customers who will testify to the quality and value of the food it serves. The menu is wonderful, featuring a particularly tasty tofu, Chinese raviolis, great traditional soups and duck with orange. The owner has been in Brussels for many years and clearly knows what Belgians like, hence the particularly generous portions. Yes! If you’ve not been to this terriﬁc eatery then I advise you to do so. It doesn’t have a website so, really, the only way you are going to get a real feel for this little gem is to get along there and sample its great grub. It’s open daily for lunch and dinner, but is closed on Sunday. Restaurant Yen Ping 48 Rue de la Croix de Fer Brussels Tel: 02 223 21 60