What is real anymore? The temptation to pursue perfection in whatever form

they had basic knowledge only

50% of the time they were employed was often extended somewhat while giving false reasons for leaving

45% made up relevant work experience

39.3% claimed to have a degree from an Ivy League university

I can see why this happens. Taking every avenue possible to get that job. What about how one appears to others? Need to be attractive, well dressed, much more than presentable right?

Some people go under the knife, with a little tuck here, and something bigger there. Some women wear red, show off their hips, and add highlights. Men wish to appear as a taller, well-shaped fella, showing off a sense of humour, a stronger pitch of their voice, or perhaps growth of a beard. Often this is for show and tell, attracting a mate or trying to be one of the boys or girls.

Owning a pet to attract others works well too, whether you like animals or not. The stories of our lives can be embellished, changed, and made more exciting. Many of us want to be like someone else, or better, fitter perhaps, but the hard work re - quired to achieve these goals can be taxing and show us that honesty first to ourselves and then others seem unwanted or unwise.

Ever seen an actress with age spots, wrinkles, a prominent mole on their face? Why don’t they do something about these facial markings you may ask? How can they be happy with themselves, how they look? Where is the temptation to pursue perfection in whatever form you may see yourself in?

The big lie is there for you to see. You may ask yourself are you too: selfish, arrogant, greedy in fact. Wanting what does not exist is often a fool’s dream, unless of course you are wealthy. Then you can be whatever you wish to be, even just yourself.

Skinny, fat, short or tall; near sighted, blonde, or red haired; handicapped, muscular or not. Don’t we come in all sorts of conditions, shapes, and sizes, presenting ourselves as best we can. We struggle to accept ourselves while attempting to live with others and their: glances, criticisms, opinions, and attitudes. If we care what others think of us too much, our ego oppresses us. If the attitude of others is not our concern we may fall into a state of ill repair socially, physically too.

Going to a job interview is very chal- lenging, and yet a perfect example of where you can show yourself in all honesty. The boss finds out all in a period of time and how, so if you lie about this or that, the truth often comes out, thanks to social media and the internet. paul@carib101.com TC

Carrying an imported Versace purse may fool some, but as soon as they see how and where you live, the truth is out. I once knew a family in the neighbourhood, brilliant people, friendly but not very social. Years later I find out they had two children on the spectrum. Their parents hid them away, half protecting them, halfway embarrassed of their condition. Imagine the years these children lost and the opportunities they could have had to develop friendships and have fun with others.

Truth can certainly set you free. It is challenging, depressing at times, but also the tool that activates your soul to accept yourself, change your situation, and offer you the opportunity to change your life. Look within to understand yourself, always with an open hand to accept assistance along the way. After all, what are you here for? To help others who are in need and help yourself too indeed.

The passing of Michelle Hughes on Tuesday, March 21st, 2023, will no doubt leave a tremendous void in the Black community. Aside from the personal, emotional and sentimental loss to her family, loved ones and close relatives, many individuals have expressed deep emotion and grief at her untimely passing and commented on her loss.

Michelle was an extraordinary and exemplary person who was driven with passion and purpose to build community through volunteer work, speaking engagements and entrepreneurial ideas and networking events.

Michelle was born in Canada to Jamaican parents, and grew up in Etobicoke graduating from Martingrove Collegiate Institute. She subsequently attended York University in 1988 and graduated with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Psychology in 1994. During her time there she: was the President of the Psychology Students Association, served as Social Cultural Convenor for Vanier College, and contributed to the Excalibur paper as an occasional writer. She was elected as the first Black President of the York Federation of Students (YFS). After her graduation, she worked in several academic institutions.

Michelle was interested in the power of public speaking and honed her skills through her involvement with Toastmasters International at classes offered at Burke’s bookstore. She co-founded Ebony Toastmasters, which still meets at 7:00 pm online at the website: ebonytoastmasters.org.

She was a public speaking teacher at the Music Student in Etobicoke from 2014 where she assisted students in developing: confidence, poise, presence and charisma, as well as finding their voice in any audience. She was a motivational speaker and taught music classes at the Music Studio in Etobicoke.

One of the initiatives that Michelle participated in was the Colourful Brick Road to Success. Onyx started it in the Black community and expanded it into the Aboriginal community. The basis of the project was to show students the various career options and the variety of paths to get there. It is also a chance to highlight the diversity in the various communities, and smash assumptions and stereotypes. They started in the Black Community and have moved to other communities.

The visitation ceremony was held on Thursday, March 30th at Turner & Porter Butler Chapel in Etobicoke, and the funeral service was held at St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church Humber Heights in Etobicoke on Friday, March 31st, 2023. This was the church where Michelle spent most of her spiritual life as recounted by Rev.Paulette Brown, who knew her personally and officiated at the funeral. She shared many details about Michelle’s involvement in the lives of people at the church, and her attempts to bridge spirituality with social activism. Michelle lived out her faith through her: acts of charity, volunteerism and commitment to social justice.

Valerie Augustine, a personal friend of Mitchelle read the eulogy. She shared deeply personal recollections of memories over the years when their families would be involved in trips, attend events, and participate in activities together. She posted a message on her Facebook page on Monday, April 2nd, 2023, on behalf of Michelle’s family. It reads, “Your presence whether physically, emotionally, and/or in spirit has made this difficult time a little easier to navigate. To say goodbye to a loved one is never easy and they are deeply grateful for your comfort, prayers and thoughtfulness.”

There was a very deeply touching tribute by Naki Osutei, who knew her as a friend and member of the same church family. She mentioned deeply inspiring moments that they shared together as they navigate the intersection of: faith and politics, spirituality and sociality in their quest to address structural and systemic forces of oppression and marginalization in the post-George

Floyd world and aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic.

The Honourable Jean Augustine, P.C, C.M.,O.Ont,C.B.E also shared details about how important community was to Michelle. She reiterated the fact that Michelle was always there to support individuals, organizations and businesses in the Black community. “We are here as a community to say goodbye. We are here to support the family.”

In a truly remarkable development, Schulich School of Business (where Michelle worked since 2009) announced on March 28th, 2023, that it had launched the Michelle Hughes Memorial Fund that will go towards a new award in Michelle’s honour. It will be presented annually to an incoming Black student in their Master of Management Program.

It is a fitting legacy for Michelle, who was committed to making business education more inclusive and accessible for individuals from Black communities. Undoubtedly, many students will benefit from this. Donations can be made at schulich.yorku.ca/about/michelle-hughes/.

In addition, in order to alleviate the financial burden on her family, husband John and children, Sage (Samantha),Christopher and Johan, donations are accepted via e-transfer at Memory of MichelleHW@gmail.com.