Who Needs Need? The Eighth Pathway

Who Needs Need? The Eighth Pathway

By Gregg Sanderson

This pathway*, although universal, specifically applies to a couple of common situations. 1) “I feel your pain.” What that means is, “I can help you feel better by suffering along with you.” I once had a friend who sought out people caught up in the same misery because they would understand what he’s going through. Misery may love company, but it’s still misery. You can’t feel love when you’re miserable, and another person sharing his/her suffering won’t do a lot to bring you out of it. Loving compassion offers a hand to help you out of the mire. It doesn’t climb in with you. “… without getting caught up in their predicaments…” is the key if you just want to help somebody. “…that are offering them messages they need for their growth.” That’s why there are such things as predicaments. Life would be dull without them, and many believe that our whole reason for life is to overcome them. I’m not sure I agree with that one.

2) “You want me to feel YOUR pain.” On the other side of that coin are those who don’t ask for help, but just want to lay their trip on you. They’re the domineering, insecure, and envious people who want to suppress or control you. A multitude of the insecure brandish their fears with constant put down of anybody different from them in any way. Ridicule is their armor, criticism their weapon. (Remember, “... loving compassion...”) Some seek an illusion of self-esteem through attempts at manipulation. They can be either blatant or subtle, demanding or sacrificing—fear or guilt. (Remember, “...without getting caught up in their predicaments...”) Envious friends advise against any activity or relationship that might make your life better. They’re afraid of change, so they call it support. (Remember,“...messages they need for their growth.”) 3) “I don’t want to feel any pain.” Either of the above situations may tempt you to fall into the trap of “That’s your problem, Buddy” or “I got my own problems.” That doesn’t fit any model of “loving compassion.” We all have our challenges, and it’s different for each of us. Compassion says, “We’re all in this together. I understand you’re dealing with your stuff, and I’m rootin’ for you to get through it.” The Eighth Pathway works best if you keep it to yourself, and only use it to keep your own consciousness straight. In any of the above three situations, to recite it to the others involved would not be evidence of good judgment. And it may be hazardous to your health.

*The Twelve Pathways are from the Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes, Jr. Whenever you feel any unpleasant emotions, the Pathways will lead you back.

Happiness is BS

with Gregg Sanderson

Gregg Sanderson, one of our long-time contributors, passed to spirit in September 2021, and we are continuing the 12 Pathways Series in his honor. He also authored Spirit with a Smile and The World According to BOB. During his life, he was a licensed practitioner in the Centers for Spiritual Living and a Certified Trainer for Infinite Possibilities. His earlier books include What Ever Happened to Happily Ever After? and Split Happens—Easing the Pain of Divorce.

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