Transformation Coaching Magazine November 2019 by Transformation Coaching Magazine

COACHING AND BUSINESS TOOLS From Someday to NOW! INSPIRATION & GROWTH 12 Steps to Health & Happiness, Part 2 To Boldly Go Change: Make It Happen The Voice Five Minutes a Day Sharing Cookies The Classroom of Life

8 14 17 24 28 30 32

FEED YOUR SPIRIT Creating Abundance How High is Your Consciousness?

18 22

PUBLISHERS Natalie Rivera Joeel A. Rivera, M.Ed.

EDITOR Lisa Cedrone

CONTRIBUTORS Terez Hartmann, Rena Greenberg, Arielle Giordano, Alan Cohen, Owen Waters, Gregg Sanderson, Noelle Sterne, Jo Mooy, Linda Commito Mary Boutieller

We believe that self-employment is the ultimate form of empowerment. Our mission is to bring you guests whose powerful entrepreneurship stories and real-world advice will give you the inspiration and tools to create a business and life that you love.

Listen on our website or your favorite podcast app or watch the video version on our YouTube channel.

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Nine Kopfer

From Someday to NOW!

How to use the Law of Attraction to ignite your spirit and bring your dreams to life. By Terez Hartmann “I want it, and I want it…eventually.” Said. No one. Ever. Those of us who have learned a thing or two about life DO know that things can take time, but one of the great joys of being alive is getting to actually witness the alchemy of thoughts turning to 3-D, “real” things, and experiences.

A Fabulous Question:

Just recently, one of my “Law of Attraction & Allowing Your Success Coach Certification Course” students and fellow success catalysts asked a fabulous question:

"How does expectation from the LOA mechanism and perspective attract manifestation and not attract delay, as expectation relates to the future and a lot of teachings affirm that you must believe in the present moment not the future?" When I considered this very deep and insightful query, I was inspired to share a process that has been a part of my experience for many years, along with a few additional insights. If you’re open and willing to turn “someday” into NOW, read on for my response to this awesome question. Note: I have made changes and updates to my answer in the interest of relevance and to allow for in-themoment inspiration.

An Inspired Answer:

You very wisely see that if you continually identify something as a “future” or “later” experience then, even with the best of intentions, you can—without meaning to—continue to create a reality where what you desire stays perpetually in the future. In the realm of quantum physics, however, the moment you think a thought/dream/intention, it actually 6

DOES exist in some form NOW. The work (for EVERY h uman being), is getting into a state of being that is conducive to allowing that dream/intention to become “LEGIT” in physical, tangible form. This is one of the reasons I greatly emphasize focusing on the perspective of “allowing” in all that I do, because “allowing” is about BEING and DOING whatever you can to place yourself in a mental, emotional, physical, and vibrational state that is conducive to receiving your intentions NOW. ALL the tools I share through my work and creations are dedicated to helping you and your clients realize this state of receptivity/allowing. I the meantime, here are some ideas to help you/your coaching clients bridge the gap between future and now:

1. Create an “Intention on FIRE!™”

Encourage your client to write and speak an intention that fires her up and is a catalyst for authentic and natural positive emotion NOW. Start the intention with, “Thank You for… (insert intention in the PRESENT tense here). If she feels uncomfortable with getting too specific, have your client focus simply upon how she wants to FEEL:

"Thank you for how good I feel every day." Or if that feels like too much of a stretch: “Thank you for my ever-increasing health, happiness, and overall well-being.” Using “Thank You,” and speaking an intention/affirmation in the present tense that truly ignites positive feelings NOW also trains your brain, body, and emotions to become more open, willing, and ready NOW.

2. Allow DAILY Success™*:

Have your client make it her mission to look for thoughts, ideas, feelings, signs, and experiences that feel like a match to her intention throughout the day, and to keep a running list in some way all day. For example: ÆÆ If she’s open to expanding wellness, have her make a note any time she feels good, has happy thoughts/ ideas, has feel-good experiences, meets happy and healthy people, or sees signs or symbols that represent health and well-being.

ÆÆ If she’s open to embracing increased abundance, have her note any and all thoughts, ideas, symbols, gifts, or bonuses she receives that demonstrate the presence of prosperity. ÆÆ If she’s open to enjoying a great romantic relationship or improving existing relationships, have her make a note of any positive interactions, great conversations, and any thoughts/ideas/symbols that she associates with love and harmony. *BTW: All of our “Good Vibe Fire Tribe” subscribers are entitled to a free copy of the “Allowing Daily Success Sheet.” Subscribe by visiting our NEW website: http://www.TerezFirewoman.com, Then e-mail TerezFirewoman@Gmail.com, RE: “Allowing Daily Success!”

3. Act on Inspiration.

Encourage your client to follow the flow of what feels good to her, and to be willing to act on inspiration—particularly and especially when she’s feeling GOOD and has an open flow. Do note that “inspiration” can lead to a very different path when you act from a place of lack, loneliness, or fear, so it is FAR better to elevate your emotions before you act.

4. Feed Your Baby.

Remind your client that all data can either support or block her intentions. Encourage her to refrain from watching/reading/listening to/participating in things that feed lack, and instead to tune in to the conversations, movies, books, experience, and information that FEEDS and supports the idea that what she wants IS possible for HER.

5. Review and Sleep with Success.

Encourage your client to review her “Allowing Daily Success” items before bedtime to give her mind evidence that good has indeed happened TODAY, and to prime the pump for MORE beautiful bonuses, awesome upgrades, and sensational, happy surprises tomorrow!

On another note, in my experience, I’ve seen intentions take longer than I would have liked for two main reasons: 1) I wasn’t ready yet (I still had some resistance and limiting beliefs in place) 2) Life/The Universe/Source (which sees the BIG picture of what we TRULY want), orchestrated BETTER timing than when I thought it “should” happen, which often answered MULTIPLE prayers and intentions in magical ways! For example: Many years ago, I once thought I wanted to get back together with an ex “NOW,” and could not foresee a happy future without him, but when that did not happen and I finally “Let It Go and Let It Grow” by focusing elsewhere for a while, not only did I connect with the man who is my husband of over 17 years (John), but John also happened to be a musician and recording engineer— which gave me THREE gifts: ÆÆ Being with the love of my life! ÆÆ Having a musical partner to perform with who is equally passionate about music! ÆÆ Having a live-in recording engineer who helps bring my songs to life! Boy, was it a blessing that I did NOT get what I thought I needed “NOW” back then, and let life give me even MORE than I had asked for at the IDEAL time.

The Bottom Line: From Someday to NOW!

The more you can help you client truly enjoy NOW as much as possible—without feeling lack or needing something to change in order to feel good—the faster and easier her awesome intentions can show up as soon as NOW. Wishing YOU and your clients much continuing success NOW—and beyond!

ALLOWING YOUR SUCCESS with Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann

Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann,“Your catalyst for all things Fab-YOU-lous,” is the author of Allowing Your Success!, a proud contributing author of Transform Your Life! book one and two, a professional Keynote Speaker/Workshop Facilitator, Singer-Songwriter/Recording Artist, “Allowing Adventures!” & “Savor Vacation” Facilitator, and true Renaissance Woman, and Visionary. She keeps her fire lit by embracing and promoting a lifestyle of “Allowing,” and by using creative expression to elevate and ignite the human spirit, a passion that she shares with her husband, soul-mate and creative partner of over 15 years, John Victor Hartmann. Together they share “Allowing TRUE LOVE” workshops and experiences designed to help others attract, allow, and maintain extraordinary relationships, and create custom jingles and voice-overs in their studio, THE Creativity Express. Visit: http://www.TerezFirewoman.com

12 Steps to Health & Happiness, Part 2

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Marion Michele

By Rena Greenberg At a young age, I got sick, and I don’t mean slightly ill—I was literally facing death. As I desperately clung to life, I set a goal for myself that I have never turned back on: to find health and live my best life. Over the decades that have followed, I’ve been on a conscious journey towards seeking well-being—mental, physical, and emotional health. Through a lot of trial and error, I have come up with 12 steps that are essential, towards that end. In addition to using my own life experience, I’ve had the pleasure of working with over 100,000 people, and I’ve also learned from their ups and downs in the quest for health and happiness. From all of this experience, a general theme has emerged: Life is a constant series of choices that ultimately boil down to one decision to be made in every moment. Are we choosing life/health/love/goodness or are we selecting, either overtly or by default, pain/negativity/fear/evil? Following are the first six steps to make the choice easier. (The first six appeared in the October 2019 issue.)

7. ELIMINATE TOXIC SUBSTANCES — DRUGS, FOOD, LIQUIDS

Your body is not a trashcan. Stop treating it like one. Think about the substances you are about to put in your body and their long- and short-term effects. Flippantly throwing out phrases such as, “You only live once, you might as well enjoy yourself,” as you guzzle down your third margarita, may not be in your best health interest. Many times when evaluating what food, drinks, or even the prescription drugs to take, we seek advice from others. The downside of that is that the people we are seeking advice from, even if they are professionally competent, may not have the expertise we are assuming they do. How many medicines have been touted by physicians and their educators (pharmaceutical companies) for decades, only to be recalled later? Or what about food items and beverages that have been reported to be safe for consumption that later are put under greater scrutiny and found to be health hazards? These examples are obvious, but what about the subtle effects that food and drugs have on us? I suggest reading up on the benefits of living without caffeine, alcohol, sugar, processed foods, and other potentially harmful substances. Become a master of your own body. Notice the effect that lifeless substances have on you. Consider the fact that if an item is processed, it most likely is not carrying a very high level of life-force energy. And if you are taking a substance to lift yourself up, remember that what goes up must come down. Look for ways to obtain the energy, vitality, and happiness you seek, naturally.

We are often looking for shortcuts when it comes to improving health, but the truth is that the journey leading us to the better life we are seeking is often what is of the most value. Question what you are putting into your mouth, and make a conscious

decision to select the items that will uplift you. Be patient, listen to your body’s feedback, and let it guide you and show you the way.

8. EAT AND LIVE IN A BALANCED WAY

Balance is the key to health. Let go of the concepts of good or bad, right or wrong. We need to check in with ourselves regarding the effect the foods we are eating and our lifestyles are having on our mind and body. It’s all about balance. Carbohydrates aren’t bad, but it is essential to eat them in balance with protein and vegetables. Plant-based food is indeed best; however, most of us, particularly those of us with sugar and carb addictions, need to offset the vegetables we eat with protein. We need some starch, too, but that needs to be combined with protein, healthy fats, and vegetables. Healthy starch is made from whole grain or root vegetables, not processed white flour. Potatoes, winter squash, yams and whole grains are good examples of healthy carbs to go along with your vegetables. Good quality protein is essential, along with healthy fat such as olive oil, small amounts of coconut oil, almond butter and avocado. Other foods like dairy, nuts, and seeds can be enjoyed in small amounts by those who are not sensitive to them. Balanced eating also means discovering your triggers—most likely, sugar, fat, and sugar substitutes—and eliminating them. Not because you are on a diet, but because trying to eat them in moderation is next to impossible. It’s like trying to date someone only once a week to get over them. It’s easier to just break the addiction than to try to string it along. Balance also means not thinking in terms of black and white. If you “messed up” and had some pizza, don’t think of it as messing up but, rather, make your next choice of food something healthier to offset any damage. Wait until you are hungry again and then have a salad, some celery, or a little meat with steamed broccoli. If you are in an environment where a lot of dense, highly caloric, rich food is your only option, select small amounts with lots of lettuce to help

stay in balance and lessen the negative impact. Drink lots of water, rest deeply when you are tired, and move your body as much as possible. One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is “all or nothing thinking.” Either I’m on a diet or off a diet. This attitude just leads to failure. Remember balance is the key to a healthy life. Eat everything in moderation except trigger foods, which do need to be avoided completely.

9. PRACTICE EMOTIONAL CONTAINMENT

One of the greatest challenges we all face is dealing with our own emotions—our reactions to the world around us. Our ability to do this successfully can mean the difference between happy relationships and painful ones. Can we contain our own and other people’s emotions, without withdrawing or attacking, either overtly or in a passive-aggressive way? One way to do this is to remember that our emotions are like the weather—they simply come and go. Also, they are repetitive. The good thing about getting older is that we get to have the realization that our emotional tendencies are habitual. This realization can bring us to the awareness that what we are feeling in the moment may be, to a large degree, based on our own history, and not exclusively by what is happening in the moment. Often, strong emotional reactions, when observed without judgment or interpretation, reveal deep-seated fears or insecurities that we weren’t even aware of. In fact, these fears and insecurities may have been handed down to us by our ancestors and may be kept alive by our culture, our environment, and our own habitual way of operating in the world. Containment means being able to hold or contain situations without reacting in a way that adds fuel to a burning fire. It means responding with wisdom, love, humility, and compassion rather than with the need to control, defend, or gain power and dominance. It means holding the space for a win-win conclusion. The goal of containment is to bring healing to the human condition and any pain that it is triggering in you, either consciously or unconsciously.

To contain your emotions, it’s necessary to shift your perspective—to see the points of view of the other person or people involved. It can be helpful to mentally roll back in time to increase your understanding of why you and the other players in your drama may be feeling and acting a certain way. Finally, the goal is to look toward the future and imagine the achieving and outcome that will be beneficial to all involved. What would be your next right action to take considering these factors? As you are contemplating the next step, remember to keep your heart open so that you are receiving compassion, mercy, and strength as you seek to bring something of value to the situation at hand and to your life.

10. BREATHE AND LIVE WITH INTENTION

The breath of life is what keeps us alive. Yet most of the time, we are breathing unconsciously, with no awareness. To be truly happy, we need to increase awareness of our own levels of tension in the body. Patterns of muscular constriction and holding tension directly correlate to how shallow or deep our breathing is. When you are feeling tense, chances are that you are holding your breath. Stay conscious of your breath and deliberately practice making your breath rate slow and even. This action will calm your mind and slow the thoughts down. Set an intention for how you want the next hour, day or year to unfold. I’m suggesting that you not only consider long-term goals, but ask yourself, What is important to me and how do I want to live?” The point of discovering this information isn’t to figure out whether you are right or wrong or good or bad. It simply can be helpful to notice that when you say you have a goal and do nothing to move towards it, except spin your wheels and sabotage yourself, perhaps there is a part of you that really doesn’t want to achieve what you think you do.

To help break free from this type of downward cycle, remember to breathe deeply with conscious awareness and at the same time set a new intention to let go of the past and your old way of doing things. Embrace a new possibility for yourself—one of accomplishing your goals and living congruently with your deeper values. Setting a daily intention and drawing it in with a full breath can be very strengthening. Some possible intentions may be, “Today, I am alive with happiness and gratitude,” “I embrace, radiate, and receive love deeply today,” “I am full of wisdom, kindness, and inner peace.”

11. PRACTICE MEDITATION AND SELF-HYPNOSIS

If we could have solved our problems with our conscious mind alone, we already would have done so. Einstein told us, “You can’t solve a problem at the same level it was created.” This means that when we create problems for ourselves with our incessant thinking, judging, and analysis, the only way to break out of this trap is to shift away from that surface level of awareness and go deeper. Self-hypnosis and meditation offer a vehicle to go past the critical, chatty conscious mind and connect deeper with our inner voice of Truth and Wisdom. This new, inspired information may come in the form of an inner knowing, new awareness or deeper insight.

Getting into a positive habit of practicing self-hypnosis is like opening the window and letting the fresh air in. Regular practice of self-hypnosis helps you keep your heart open and your mind receptive to new ideas and fresh, creative possibilities to improve all areas of your life. Even more importantly, practicing meditation and self-hypnosis helps to combat the negative and detrimental effects of stress. Physical and emotional stress has been proven not only to cause or exacerbate illness and disease but to increase depression, anxiety, and hopelessness.

Often when we find ourselves in these negative states, our tendency is to want to analyze our way out of them. This rarely works in the long run. What can help us shift out of a dark state of mind is traveling within beyond the conscious mind and connecting to the deeper resources within our inner mind and heart. Getting caught in negative frames of mind such as fear and grief are like being trapped in a bed of quicksand. The more you fight against difficult feelings or submit to them, the more they seem to engulf you and the stronger their hold on you. The solution is to go inward beyond the “quicksand” of emotional and mental turbulence and discover and bask in a deeper, wiser, more vast and eternal part of yourself. Though this infinite field of intelligence in your subconscious mind is always available to you, it is only through your conscious intention and focused attention that you can make contact and commune with it. It is through this connection, on a regular basis, that your life can start to change and reflect this deep, inner, soulful, and profound relationship with your higher self. Not only will you live a less stressful life, but you will acquire the satisfaction of achieving greater levels of inner peace and happiness and more optimal health in your body and mind. Other side benefits of regular self-hypnosis and meditation are developing greater awareness, deeper compassion, and empathy for others, and a connection to a greater wisdom and strength that can guide you to your greater good in all areas of your life.

12. ADOPT A MIRACLE MINDSET

Having a miracle mindset means letting go of skepticism and fear by replacing them with faith and optimism. No doubt we’ve heard the expression from Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.” It’s so true that our ability to achieve our goals is very predictable based on our mindset.

The best way to change your mindset to be more productive is to become aware of your own inner voices and adapt them to reflect what you truly desire. 11

It’s OK if you have doubt. That is only natural. We all have doubt, insecurity and fear so welcome to the human race! Even the seemingly most confident people have some insecurity and fear, which will manifest in one way or another. The important thing is not to attempt to rid ourselves of fear because what we focus on grows. We need to admit it’s there—see it for what it is: false evidence appearing real—and stop making an identity of it. Instead, focus on your strengths, blessings, and the vast, infinite, eternal spiritual strength that you have access to and can tap into at any time. If your inner voice says, “I can’t,” “This is hard,” or criticizes you in one way or another, affirm to yourself aloud or silently: “I release all negativity, criticism, judgment, un-forgiveness and toxic emotion to my higher mind to be dissolved and healed completely, and I am free.” “I release all emotional pain, real or imagined, known or unknown, coming towards me or from me, conscious or unconscious, past, present, and future in all directions, to my Divine Mind, to be dissolved and healed completely.” “I Am” statements are very powerful, so use them wisely. Your subconscious mind hears everything you think so be aware of putting a negative expression after the words “I Am.” Instead repeat phrases to yourself such as, “I am successful.” “I am happy.” “I am loved, loving, and lovable.” “I am strong.” “I am capable.”

“I am a fast learner.” “I am peaceful.” “I am filled with light and love.” “I am a vessel for love, beauty and goodness.” Notice how these words make you feel. It’s so interesting to see people hooked up to biofeedback equipment that measures their physiological responses, such as heart rate, blood pressure, sweating response, and muscle tension. They have noticeable improvement in all these bodily systems when they are speaking words of kindness to themselves. By contrast, when we speak harsh, cold words to ourselves, or remember times when other people have hurt us, our physiology reflects the impact by shifting our bodily systems in the wrong direction—muscles get more tense, hands and feet get colder as the blood vessels clamp down, and heart rate goes up. Practice adopting a mindset filled with thoughts of peace, safety, gratitude, joy, and faith. Don’t worry if you have to fake it at first. The good news is that your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. If you pretend to be happy, your body and mind will respond by relaxing, being more at ease and creating healthier, more productive responses. This starts a positive feedback loop and helps to turn your miracle mindset into a positive habit. Always look towards the future with optimism, believing that things will get better, even if your conscious mind doesn’t know how.

Dare to dream. Access the incredible, creative, picturing power of your subconscious mind by visualizing and imagining with all your senses how magnificent your life can be. Imagine feeling so full of love that you are flowing over. Imagine expressing yourself creatively and feeling your own inner power in a way that only brings out the best in others, while basking in your own deep strength and sense of empowerment. Instead of looking to the outside, physical world to tell you what reality is and what’s achievable and what’s not, seek out within yourself an understanding of your place in the world and what’s possible for you. Tap into your deep heart and soul to discover your inner longing and let that longing for life and energy guide you to the best action steps for you. Practice your miracle mindset daily by releasing doubt, fear, and insecurity and embracing inner power, love, wisdom, strength, and your connection with the life force energy that powers all of life. These are the steps that I have developed over time to help you live your best life. The goal is not perfection but getting closer and closer to living a life where you are most connected to your authentic self, comfortable and happy in your own skin, feeling fully alive and saying yes to life!

Love Life, Live Happy, Live Healthy with Rena Greenberg Rena Greenberg, a Hay House author, can be reached at http://www.EasyWillpower.com. Her weight loss and gastric bypass hypnosis success has been featured in 150-plus news stories including USA Today, Woman’s World, The Doctor’s, CNN, Good Morning America and Nightline. PBS stations nationally aired Rena’s show, “Easy Willpower,” in August 2015. Her wellness program is sponsored in 75 hospitals and 100-plus corporations. She conducts hypnotherapy sessions with people all over the world on Skype.

To Boldly Go

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Steve Halama

Passion moves people to do things that reason would never approve. 15

By Alan Cohen On March 9, 2015, pilot Andre Borschberg lifted his experimental aircraft Solar Impulse 2 from the Abu Dhabi runway. His bold plan: to fly a fully solarpowered airplane around the entire globe without using a drop of fossil fuel. In the stirring documentary The Impossible Flight, we ride the roller coaster of challenges and triumphs that characterized Solar Impulse 2’s epic journey. While the inventors planned to make the trip in 12 legs at an airspeed of 45 miles per hour, the fragile craft was continually thwarted by rough weather and equipment malfunctions. The toughest moment came when the lightweight vessel was set to fly its longest leg over the Pacific Ocean from Japan to Hawaii—a grueling five-day trek through adverse weather systems. The pilot had to sit in a fixed position for almost the entire trip, with the exception of occasional 20-minute power naps. As the flight neared the midway point of no return, the team’s on-ground meteorologists and engineers sadly concluded that the weather ahead was too dangerous, and feverishly urged the pilot to turn back. But the pilot refused. “I have a very good feeling we can do it,” he replied, and pressed on. After two more harrowing days threading the needle between storms, Borschberg landed safely in Honolulu. SI2 later went on to return to its starting point, 504 days after its departure. Two different people live in your mind: One is an engineer calculating odds and risks according to known science. The other is the voice of passion, intention, and spirit, prone to take leaps of faith beyond known science. Both are important.

Science helps us understand and maneuver the world we know. Our sense of vision and adventure propels us to go beyond the world we know, into more exciting dimensions. The engineer measures probabilities. The spirit is motivated by possibilities. We must honor the engineers who designed that brilliant aircraft that could break records; however, if it were up to the engineers alone, the airplane would have turned back and the records would not have been broken. Something within the pilot said, “I can and I will,” which ultimately achieved the goal. The journey to success is like a train ride powered by a steam engine. The tracks guide the train to its chosen destination. The steam propels the train forward. The tracks represent the earthy calculations to stay goal-focused. The steam is the passion to reach the goal. If you have tracks but no steam, the train will not get anywhere. If you have steam but no tracks, the train will bounce around helter-skelter and crash or do damage. To reach your goal, you need steam and tracks. It is said, “the purpose of life is not to arrive safely at death.” Some people spend their lives playing it safe, never launching out into new, exciting, and possibly dangerous territory. In the process they squash and lose their passion; each year they become a little less alive. Benjamin Franklin said, “Most people die at age 25, but they are not buried until age 75.” Franklin was one of a small group of people who founded a nation on the radical idea that citizens could make choices for themselves rather than letting a monarch control their lives. While we now take democracy for granted, at that time every country was ruled by a king, emperor, or czar. It took a huge leap of faith

to establish the first modern democracy. The founding fathers considered their project a great experiment. They had the courage to boldly go. Thomas Jefferson penned the first draft of the Declaration of Independence when he was just 30 years of age. He could have said, “I’m too young, too inexperienced. This project is bigger than me.” But the vision of a free nation was greater than his personal doubts. He pushed on, and initiated one of the most important documents in human history. When the Wright Brothers flew the first airplane at Kitty Hawk in 1904, the distance of that flight was shorter than the wingspan of a modern 747 jumbo jet. If you had told anyone that year that a man would walk on the moon only 65 years later, less than one lifetime, you would have been called crazy. But passion moves people to do things that reason would never approve. At this moment you have a vision to do something you have never done before. You have a book, song, relationship, seminar, or business calling to you from your womb of creativity. A voice within you shouts, “You can and must do this!” while another chides, “Turn back before it’s too late.” When making your choice, you stand at the same midway point where the pilot of Solar Impulse 2 found himself in that historic journey. That project encountered tremendous adversity, but its innovators persevered until the dream became a reality. So will you persevere until you fulfill your destiny. Somehow, some when, you will look back on your adventure and recognize it was spirit-guided. At that point the engineer and the visionary within you will give each other an exuberant high-five and congratulate each other, “Well done!”

Get Real with Alan Cohen

Alan Cohen is the author of many popular inspirational books, including the bestselling A Course in Miracles Made Easy. Become a certified professional life coach through Alan’s transformational Life Coach Training beginning February 1, 2019. For more information about this program, Alan’s books and videos, free daily inspirational quotes, online courses, and weekly radio show, visit http://www.alancohen.com.

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Ross Findon

Make it Happen

“There are no real reasons only excuses.” By Arielle Giordano As an instructor of movement, stretch, and dance, I have heard every excuse in the book. Bad weather, such as rain and cold, top the list. I even once had a student who cancelled class because he had to babysit a house! It’s often hard to understand how people can come and enjoy a class or workshop, tell me how great they feel and how much they loved the class, AND then never step foot through the door again. Many people know what is healthy and good for them, but they don’t follow through. Just do it! But it’s not always that easy, is it? Think of something you know you should be doing but don’t do. You may want to move more, exercise, stretch, eat more fruits and vegetables, improve your nutrition, reduce stress, enjoy being creative, spend time in nature, and/or feed your soul.

Here are the three steps that can help you change and become successful in reaching your goals: Make a Commitment: Obligate yourself to achieving a goal when your excuses, patterns, or reasons start to get in the way. Find discipline deep within and stick to your plan. Become Consistent: When we are consistent in following the routine needed to keep a commitment we stick to it. Embrace Change: Change happens when we shift and follow our inner knowing instead of listening to our feelings and thoughts. Follow the formula: Commitment + Consistency = Change Stand in Integrity. You are your word; do what you say you are going to do! It’s a new day to be a new you! There will always be a reason to…… List all your reasons to do what you know to do.

Dancing from the Inside Out with Arielle Giordano Transformational Life Coach Award-Winning Author & Speaker, Professional Dancer. Arielle’s Award-Winning book for Best Self-Help Award: Dancing With Your Story From The Inside is available on http://www.Amazon.com. Her professional career includes the Lead Faculty Area Chairperson and Professor for the College of Humanities, History and the Arts at the University of Phoenix. She is a published co-author of Transform Your Life Books 1 & 2 and author for Tampa Bay Wellness, Conscious Shift & Transformation magazine. She has published her 4th book, an Instructor’s Manual for Barlow Abnormal Psychology 4th ed. and authored Psychology, A Journey 3rd.ed. Study Guide published by Nelson Education, Toronto, ON. She has also studied philosophy at the College of Integrated Philosophy with John DeRuiter for twenty years. Arielle has been a featured guest on radio and television, in newspapers, and the media across the US and Canada. She is a certified Essentrics Stretch and Dance Instructor. Arielle offers coaching sessions, classes and workshops and a free 30-minute Consultation. Websites: http://www.dancingfromtheinsideout.com, http://www.ariellegiordano.com. Email: agbeautifuldance@gmail.com

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Kate Kasiutich

Creating Abundance

Natural abundance comes from “getting into the flow.” By Owen K Waters Nature is a constant reminder of the principle of abundance. Nature routinely produces more than it needs, thousands of times over. Rather than producing one acorn to grow a replacement oak tree, a mature oak will produce up to 50,000 acorns in a good year, and the tree will keep producing for hundreds of years. That is the natural way. Plants produce thousands of seeds in order to guarantee the survival of their species. That is the natural way. As just one example, palm trees produce thousands of seeds per year. When Infinite Being created the universe, did it stop there? Not at all, it created an infinite number of universes so that all possibilities of existence could be experienced. That is the infinite way.

Limited thinking makes people believe that resources are limited, that there is only “so much” available. While this appears to be true at the time, it ignores the fact that you can create new abundance in many ways. Did the number of horses in the 19th Century limit how easily people can travel today? Not at all. The car was invented, along with today’s 200-horsepower engines. Did the cost of a large business computer in 1970 limit how much computing power we have today? Not at all. The personal computer changed all that. Today, home computers are far more powerful than the largest business computers were in 1970.

Trip to Mars? Did the cost of flying into outer space in the 1960s limit people’s ability to go on tourist trips to Mars today? Well, okay… a little more work needs to be done on that one! Since nature is so abundant, how can people tap into that abundance and create it in their own lives? It certainly doesn’t happen by making loud demands at a conscious level, or just by wishing, wanting, or hoping. It is human consciousness that creates lack, and it is also human consciousness which creates abundance.

The realization that abundance is a natural state actually allows abundance to flow into your life. Natural abundance comes from “getting into the flow,” from either getting excited about what you are doing, or by doing something new that is exciting.

FOLLOW YOUR INNER JOY “Follow your inner joy” may sound like an overused cliché, but it is actually the key to abundance. Once you follow your excitement and find

work that you love, then synchronicity starts to flow. Synchronicity is nature’s way of telling you that you’re on the right track, the natural track. Synchronicity is a flow of events where everything clicks into place to support your efforts. It brings you opportunities, people, events, and circumstances exactly when and where they need to be. This all happens because your efforts are harmonious. The universe is naturally harmonious. It has to be that way in order to function successfully. Harmony is balance, while disharmony is a dysfunction that makes a system fall apart. The universe will naturally support your efforts when they are in harmony, or “in the flow.” What do you need to do to achieve this natural state of harmony, synchronicity, and abundant flow? Here is the key question: Ask yourself, “What is the most exciting thing that I could possibly be doing right now to enhance my long-term, inner joy?” The state of regular, conscious thinking often contains self-limiting filters like fear, skepticism or lack of self-esteem. So, for the most inspired and imaginative results, ask the above question near the end of a deep, 20-minute meditation session. That way, your inner possibilities can come forward into your consciousness without being filtered. Then, find a way to do that most exciting possibility. And when you have finished doing that, ask yourself the same question again. Usually, the answer will be something

in the same direction as your first act, although not always. Inner joy is your barometer of natural flow. Use it to determine what action is the most important in developing your experience of life. Find ways to dissolve self-limiting barriers so that you can act upon that inner joy. To follow your inner joy is to live holistically because you are acting with more of your complete self. It lightens up your spirit, allowing you to function at a higher frequency of consciousness. If you are contemplating a career change, practical considerations do need to be considered. Will pursuing your inner joy earn you an adequate living? If you need to learn an entirely new skill, often the learning phase has to be a part-time endeavor while you earn a living using your existing skills.

The great thing about doing work you love is that everyone can sense the living joy within you. Employers want you to work for them. Customers seek you out based upon word-of-mouth recommendations. Larger companies want to buy your prosperous business for an amount that’s large enough for you to retire. But then, why would you quit when you’re having so much fun?

Spiritual Dynamics with Owen K. Waters Owen is a cofounder of the Spiritual Dynamics Academy, where a where a free spiritual growth newsletter awaits you at: http://www.SpiritualDynamics.net. He is an international spiritual teacher who has helped hundreds of thousands of spiritual seekers to understand better the nature of their spiritual potential. Owen’s life has been focused upon gaining spiritual insights through extensive research and the development of his inner vision. For the past 12 years, he has written a spiritual metaphysics newsletter which empowers people to discover their own new vistas of inspiration, love and creativity. Spiritual seekers enjoy his writings for their insight and clarity.

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Yuri Bodrikhin

How High is Your Consciousness?

Each of us is a facet and expresses differently; still, we’re all from the same jewel. By Gregg Sanderson It’s peculiar, I know, but I like to define my terms. Then I know what I’m talking about, and so do you. As we see from other articles in this magazine, “Higher Consciousness” means different things to different people, so let’s look at a few examples with this little quiz. Rate these people in order of their consciousness: The Evangelist who saves a thousand souls a week. The sinner who has been given up as hopeless by a thousand evangelists. The guru from India who teaches a thousand students. The perpetual student who has a thousand gurus. The seeker who meditates in a cave for a thousand days of silence. The charlatan who leads a cult of a thousand followers. 22

The reincarnation of an Egyptian princess from three thousand years ago. The reincarnation of a Brooklyn deli owner who made a thousand pastrami sandwiches. The channel of an ascended master to an audience of thousands. The channel of dear departed Aunt Tillie that misleads thousands. The doctor who heals a thousand patients. The doctor who charges a thousand dollars. The entrepreneur whose business employs a thousand people. The entrepreneur who sells a thousand Chinese can openers. The vegan who saves a thousand cows by not eating them.

The carnivore who thins out the herd by scarfing down a thousand Big Macs. The environmentalist who lights a thousand homes with squiggly bulbs. The consumer who contributes a thousand plastic bottles to fill up the land. The person devoted to the betterment of mankind. The person devoted to the betterment of himself. The person who is happy all the time, no matter what is going on in his life. The person who is miserable all the time no matter what is going on in his life. I’ll bet you think this was a trick question. Well, it was...You see, there’s really no such thing as “Higher Consciousness.” It’s only “Other Consciousness.” Let me explain. We’re all spiritual beings having a human experience as we adventure in space and time. At the deepest level, we are all connected to the Universal Consciousness. I call it Unconditional Love. Picture the Universal Consciousness as a jewel with infinite facets. None is higher or lower—better or worse— than any other. Can any facet be made of different stuff than the others? Of course not.

Each of us is a facet, and expresses differently. We each have surface residue to clear away in order to shine out the Love inside. Still, it’s all the same jewel. I believe the concept of “Higher Consciousness” can be an ego trap, because it leads to comparison. For

example, we may think of Mother Teresa as more Spiritual than Kim Kardashian, yet both are spiritual beings by definition. Each decided what kind of human experience they’d have and bolstered it with a belief system to match. One has nothing to do with the other, and both seek to fill in their pictures of happiness in their own way. They act out their lives according to their values, and reap the consequences. It’s that way for each and every one of us. We try to organize our “residue” in a way we think will work. The consequences give us either more residue or more clarity. One is not better or “higher” than the other, but one might be a lot more enjoyable. What is this “residue” that keeps the light of love from shining out? It’s anything we feel we must have in order to feel love. “I’ll love you unconditionally as long as you meet my conditions” doesn’t do it. If there’s no “higher” or “lower” consciousness, what, then, is the purpose of life? Obviously (to me) it’s to be happy. Why else would we eternal beings subject ourselves to the limitations of space/time but for entertainment and adventure? After all, eternity takes a while, and it could get pretty boring without something to do. So we join this life and play the game where we get to sort out an infinite variety of experiences and beliefs to find our way to unconditional love—the key to happiness and the “stuff” out of which we’re all made. Some get it, some don’t. Some come back for more, some go elsewhere, but no matter what, Love is the game and the prize. That’s my consciousness. I don’t know if it’s higher or lower, but it sure is fun! What’s yours?

Happiness is BS with Gregg Sanderson

Gregg Sanderson is author of Spirit With A Smile, The World According To BOB. He is a licensed practitioner in the Centers for Spiritual Living, and a Certified Trainer for Infinite Possibilities. His earlier books were, What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens—Easing The Pain Of Divorce. His latest project is the New Thought Global Network, where subscribers can enjoy the best in New Thought presentations from anywhere at any time. You can see it at http://www.newthoughtglobal.org.

The Voice

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Dawid Zawila

I may ignore It for days, try to shout over It, or pretend that It’s trivial, but the Voice holds no grudges and always responds. By Noelle Sterne When I first started studying A Course in Miracles, like many new students I struggled with its foreign, uncompromising concepts and kept testing it against the reality in front of my eyes. Especially hard to swallow, or hear, was the concept of the “Inner Voice.” I’d read about the Voice but still couldn’t buy it and started attending a weekly study group to help myself decipher and grasp the Course, pin down that elusive Voice, and apply it all to my hurting life. Mark, the leader, opened one of the meetings with a specific reading about the mysterious inner voice: “Listen, and hear your Father speak to you through His appointed Voice . . . Hear only Him today . . . Hear one Voice today. . . . He would speak to you” (A Course in Miracles, Workbook, Lesson 106). Sure, sure, I thought. I’ve always had a voice, maybe five or six. They figure things out, make lists, tell me how stupid I am, and once in a while congratulate me on a good phrase or chicken dish. But I suspected that this wasn’t what he meant. “Hey, Mark,” I asked, “what’s the big difference between this voice of yours and all the regular stuff that’s always going on in our heads? How do I know that voice isn’t my mother, my father, my shrink?” Mark didn’t seem offended by my questions or reprimand me for being a

“wisegal.” He didn’t answer right away and for a moment seemed to be listening. Then he said slowly, “When you quiet your mind enough, you’ll hear it. It gives you peace.” I shrugged. My voices gave me peace. Sometimes. For a minute or two, when I weighed all the unpleasant alternatives, sorted out the infuriating contradictions, reached some kind of uneasy conclusion, or finally told any or all of the voices to just shut up. I glanced at the other people in the circle. Two of the men were chuckling, and one woman kept her eyes on the floor. No one jumped in to contribute or explain. Did they know something I didn’t? How could you hear something you didn’t hear? A few mornings later, doing the daily Course lesson, I was trying hard to pay full attention and take it all in. Eyes squeezed shut, I craved some spectacular psychic display, or at least a figure in light. My mind went blank. Something said: You want results. You must learn it’s not the results that matter, but the process. “Huh? Who’s that?” My eyes opened wide. This couldn’t be one of my voices. They were never so sure and authoritative. But something was in my head, and I couldn’t deny its odd sense of truth. I turned back to the lesson, but my mind wandered to the 12 hours ahead of me. As usual, I whirled with plans, obligations,

and tasks—anticipating, worrying, bargaining, shifting this to accommodate that, battling each passing hour. My forehead ached with the day’s impossible parts, and it had hardly begun. Then, cutting right through all this, something spoke: Give up. There’s nothing you have to do. My frenzy stopped. And, incredulously, disappeared. I felt—dare I say it—peace.

PROMISE KEPT

Shortly after this experience, “something” told me to open the Course Text. The promise was right there on the first page: “His Voice will direct you very specifically. You will be told all you need to know” (Chapter 1, p. 1). Now, after much study, I can no longer deny or suspect it. There is a Voice, different from any I’ve known. Those others occasionally give answers, but mostly they find fault and haggle like monkeys. Maybe they fade out for a while from exhaustion or disgust, but you can bet they’ll return, in full-blast confusion. This Voice, though, is certain. It’s calm and it’s strong. It commands without censure and doesn’t waste words. Past all my nonsense, it centers right in. My head may be reeling with all the pros and cons, what ifs, thens, and maybes. But once I find the courage to ask, the Voice always responds. Sometimes, still doubting at times, I test it. A petulant child, I know this time I’ll catch it and overwhelm it

with questions. But even as I flirt with questioning at all and just start forming the words, the answers emerge. The Voice is not stern or forbidding, a harsh father or unapproachable judge. When I need explanation, it comes. When I crave reassurance, it’s there. When I cry out inside on the edge of despair, the Voice soothes and softens my pain. I’m learning to trust it, in any condition—at midnight or morning, alert or bone-weary, in my room, on the road, in front of my friends, expansive and loving, or depressed and self-judging. When I feel unworthy of asking, my mistakes claiming “should” go unnoticed. My regrets of “too late” don’t estrange. My red shame at too many petty reactions is gently dismissed. I may ignore It for days, try to shout over It, or pretend that It’s trivial, but the Voice holds no grudges and always responds. I can ask any time, use any words, and repeat, if my fear is that great, every hour. All I need to remember is give up my words and their fighting, let go of directing how the world should behave. All I ever need do, like the Course says, is be still and just listen. Finally, I’ve stopped questioning it but now know to turn, a flower to the sun. The Voice never fails. No egobound guilt can stop its appearing, and it knows no limits in love. I must only get still, ask if I need to, and listen. Then, with a word, flash, or feeling, the Voice, in its unending sureness, is here.

Trust Your Life Now with Noelle Sterne, Ph.D. Noelle Sterne, Ph.D., is an author, editor, academician, writing coach, mentor, and spiritual counselor. She has published over 600 pieces in print and online venues, including Author Magazine, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Children’s Book Insider, Fiction Southeast, Funds for Writers, Inspire Me Today, Rate Your Story, Romance Writers Report, Transformation Magazine, Unity Magazine, Women in Higher Education, Women on Writing, The Writer, and Writer’s Digest. Noelle’s invited blogs on Author Magazine’s “Authors’ Blog” on writing, creativity, and spirituality can be found at http://authormagazineonline.wordpress.com/. A spiritually-oriented chapter appears in Transform Your Life (Transformation Services, 2014). A story was published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Touched by an Angel (2014), and another in a Tiny Buddha collection (HarperOne, 2015). One of Noelle’s stories appears in the forthcoming Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Forgiveness Fix. With a Ph.D. from Columbia University, for 30 years Noelle has assisted doctoral candidates to complete their dissertations (finally). Based on her practice, her handbook for graduate students helps them overcome largely ignored but equally important nonacademic difficulties in their writing: Challenge in Writing Your Dissertation: Coping with the Emotional, Interpersonal, and Spiritual Struggles (Rowman & Littlefield Education, 2015). In Noelle’s book Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go After Your Dreams (Unity Books, 2011), she draws examples from her academic consulting and other aspects of life to help readers release regrets, relabel their past, and reach their lifelong yearnings. Her webinar about the book can be seen on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95EeqllONIQ. Deserving her next Dream, Noelle is completing her second novel. Her website: http://www.trustyourlifenow.com.

Listen on our website or your favorite podcast app or watch the video version on our YouTube channel.

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Freshh Connection

Five Minutes a Day

Gratitude rewrites the old stories, puts a fresh face on them, and By Jo Mooy It’s November! Plans for the big Thanksgiving feast dominate. Is everyone going to mom’s house? Is the family coming to you? Who’s in charge of Uncle Eddie this year? When is grandma going to be picked up? How many tables do we need for the kids? As the plans unfold, little time is spent on the meaning of the word Thanksgiving. Maybe that’s okay. After all, if five minutes every day were spent instead on what it means to be thankful, maybe it will all balance out. Thankfulness is a most beautiful secret of life. Done for Five Minutes a Day, gratitude allows a soft feeling to arise inside when simple little pleasures are experienced. It’s an emotional expression of joyfulness and appreciation that soothes all other emotions. In this state of mind, a great surge opens the heart. The results are sincere feelings of well-being that say, “All is right with the world today.” With all that going for it, why is it so difficult to be grateful? It’s especially perplexing when the daily doses of negative news and snarky social media comments cast a constant pall over the nation’s collective psyche. The antidote of doing a Five Minutes a Day practice is not difficult. All that’s required is the individual take a breath then look around and find something—anything—to be grateful for. Being grateful doesn’t require huge things to happen. Build on the little things that surround you. Perhaps you slept well the night before. There are those without a roof overhead or a bed to sleep in. Perhaps gratitude is you woke up! The alternative is, you didn’t. Or how about being

grateful for seeing a gorgeous sunrise! That’s an immense gratitude to proclaim when you contemplate the person who has no eyesight. Three years ago a local “gratitude practice” was created on Facebook. It’s since grown to include people all over the United States. Dozens share their small happenings every morning. Those too shy to write on social media send emails saying their lives changed. By focusing on the practice they no longer felt hopeless. One woman keeps a journal of her Five Minutes a Day. It makes her feel empowered and, in her words, “rich beyond her wildest dreams.” The Five Minutes a Day gratitude forces a halt in your personal expectations. Instead, it begs you to refocus on what’s already there and present in your life. It tips the scale by accepting your already evident bounty—no matter how small or insignificant. It restores a sense of balance by focusing on the positive instead of the negative. And it changes our moods and behaviors. The daily practice of gratitude begets more gratitude. Life stories are revealed. The joy of visiting grandchildren is widely shared as gratitude with other grandmothers. During an illness, practitioners support each other through shared emotions and encouragement. Even the gratitude of a morning cup of hot tea, shared across the country, can elicit joyful responses along with suggestions of different types of teas to try. Most of us carry around a large sack filled with our many stories. Gratitude rewrites the old stories, puts a fresh face on them, and releases them. The flood of resulting sweet feelings acts like a natural antidepressant to the coarseness experienced outside that boundary. Gratitude for the little things colors everything else. In that rainbow of appreciation, our biology changes, our attitudes change, and our love actually grows a bit deeper for Five Minutes a Day. Wishing you grateful thanks every day - not just on Thanksgiving!

Conscious Living with Jo Mooy

Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to http://www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com.

Sharing Cookies

How a friend learned an uncomfortable lesson about generosity in an airport. By Linda Commito It had been a rough week. Sarah’s body was exhausted, her nails cracked, her hair frizzed, and her head ached. She had, four weeks prior, traveled across the country to be a mom again to her grown daughter and was now returning home to her husband. She could hardly wait. Sarah got past security. She needed this travel time to switch gears and slow down her heartbeat and was grateful to be alone with an

hour to boarding. Ah, a kiosk with snacks, healthy snacks. After choosing a pack of trail mix cookies with no artificial anything, she grabbed a New York Times. She found a small white plastic table within earshot of her gate, sat down, and immersed herself in her newspaper. In her peripheral vision she saw a young man seat himself directly across from her at her tiny table. Handsome and well-groomed, he said nothing, but smiled as his eyes focused on hers. She squirmed inside, feeling

somehow that this “approach” was highly inappropriate. Although there was no obvious reason, his actions felt somehow menacing. He was after all uninvited and invading her space. She glued her eyes on the Maureen Dowd piece she was trying to be engrossed in. After several minutes, as casually as she could, Sarah reached around her paper to take a cookie from the box on the table. As she did so the man reached his hand into the box and took a cookie for himself. Sarah sat immobile as a hot

Photo Credit: Pixabay/Monfocus

flush flooded upward from her chest and pounded at her temples. She struggled to maintain her sense of good manners and kept quiet. She turned the page of her paper, although she had read nothing. With an air of self-possession, Sarah reached for another cookie. After she had eaten it, she was stunned as the man reached over and took the last of the four cookies. But then he broke it in two and offered her one half, nodding his head in her direction with the same inscrutable smile. She took it from him in silence,

careful not to let their fingers touch, as her gate was called. With relief she gathered up her bag and quickly headed for the boarding gate. As she opened her bag to retrieve her boarding pass, THERE IT WAS—the package of cookies! The cookies on the table were HIS cookies! He had been the one, not she, who was generous and patient. This man who she assumed was some presumptuous, rude stranger was in fact a most gracious one. She was the one who had received an act of kindness from a stranger even as she

ruminated on all kinds of negative thoughts about him. An uncomfortable encounter at the airport turned out to be a valuable lesson in generosity.

How well do you share your cookies? —Story as told to Linda Commito by Harriet Roberts

Love is the New Currency with Linda Commito Linda Commito, author, speaker, entrepreneur, consultant and teacher, is passionate about her vision to leave this world a kinder, more compassionate and interconnected place. Her award-winning book of inspirational stories, Love is the New Currency, demonstrates how we can each make a positive difference in the lives of others through simple acts of love and kindness. Visit http://www.loveisthenewcurrency.com for more information and/or to sign up for an uplifting monthly newsletter. Read about everyday acts of kindness on http://www.FB.com/kindnesscollaborative. Linda believes that in order to inspire a kinder world the place to start is with children. She volunteered at a Title One elementary school, working with over 500 students, to create and facilitate “Kindness Starts with Me,» a program which includes a website (http://www.kindnessstartswithme.com) and a book for children.

The Classroom of Life

Each person makes an important imprint in this life that affects everyone else. By Mary Boutieller If you read my article last month, “thank you” for your willingness to come along with me on this journey as I’ve navigated the illness and passing of my dear stepfather, Tom. Writing allows me to think about and process the lessons learned from these experiences. And much like the passing of one season to the next, these events in our lives give us a deeper reservoir from which to draw. As I continue to “lean in,” a few more lessons have come to me. I hope you don’t mind me sharing some of them with you. It has become clear to me as I go in and out of the house in which my Mom and Tom lived, that it is the occupants who make a house a real home. Those warm memories, emotional ties, feelings of love, broccoli and spaghetti dinners, the mundane and the special—they are with me because my Mom and Tom were there to create them. Shared experiences, the ups and downs of life lived each and every day—those are what we relate to and find ourselves reliving years later. It never was and never will be about the stuff in our homes or the things we own. It will always be about the people we love and the time we share together here on this lovely planet. I’m reminded, yet again, that those who are your friends come unbidden in your time of need. Those who called, wrote emails, sent cards, attended the funeral or stopped by for a quick hug meant the world to me. Not because I am not strong or couldn’t have “handled it,”

but because they cared and showed love in their own special way. It’s not easy knowing what to say or do when someone we care about suffers a loss. As a society, we don’t talk about death; we rarely know how to deal with it ourselves, much less be there for another’s suffering. I learned a long time ago while working on an ambulance that sometimes just holding someone’s hand is enough; sometimes it’s all you really can do. Instead of feeling awkward or worrying that we might do or say the wrong thing, maybe we simply come forth with an earnest heart, and often that is enough. I’ve learned to appreciate dirty laundry! Yes, I know that is a stretch, but please let me explain. Normally, I’m less than amused at the mounting laundry that two people (my husband and I) can accumulate. Yet, after my stepdad passed away, I looked at the overflowing laundry basket and thought, “I am alive and here is proof! This dirty laundry is evidence that I am not sitting on the couch watching my life pass by me!” Somehow, in that moment, it made me pause and reflect on the gift of this life and in my ability (and willingness) to be a part of it. Maybe my view of the laundry will change with time, but right now I feel like I will never again look at it in quite the same way. Although it will still need to be done, it is also a strangely comforting confirmation that I am living my life and getting my hands (and my clothes) dirty in the process. I’ve learned that each person makes an imprint in this life that affects everyone else. No person, no job, no status in life, is unimportant. I am especially grateful to the people who were kind to Tom—

above and beyond the “politeness” required by society. I mentioned a few in my last newsletter, but here are a few more: the waitress at Peaches who always teased him and made him smile; the doctor who reviewed his medical records and didn’t send a bill; the neighbor who mowed his grass when he became unable to do so; and another neighbor who brought him Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. These people saw beyond his rough exterior to the heart of him, and they made it part of their mission to include him, even if just for a few minutes. These simple acts of kindness, given to and received by a proud “never ask for help” kind of guy, were worth more than money, because they showed love in all its beautiful forms. Finally, as with most things that shake us into an odd alternate universe, in the weeks after Tom’s death, the sky seemed a brighter blue; I noticed things that I generally walk past without much thought; my whole body slowed down, quieted down, and I found within myself a slightly bigger opening in the door to understanding what life (and death) are all about. These lessons, these glimpses, usually fade away as we go on about our usual lives. But each time I fill the reservoir with reminders and gems, it allows me to tap back in. Each experience teaches us, if we are paying attention. Tom said, shortly before his passing, that he had no enemies and no regrets. Perhaps that is the greatest lesson of all in the classroom of life. To release our grievances; to do better the next time; to hold no regrets—this we can do!

The Yoga of Life with Mary Boutieller Mary Boutieller is a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance. She has been teaching yoga since 2005. Her work experience includes 22 years as a firefighter/paramedic and 10 years as a Licensed Massage Therapist. Mary’s knowledge and experience give her a well-rounded understanding of anatomy, alignment, health and movement in the body. She is passionate about the benefits of yoga and the ability to heal at all levels through awareness, compassion, and a willingness to explore. She can be reached at: SimplyogaOm@gmail.com.