I Survived My Own Children Being Turned Into Incentives For Me To Detransition

By Alysha V. Scarlett

My parents turned my children into incentives for me to detransition as I lost in-person access to them – and access to them in any way practically entirely.

First, my parents refused to let me see my own children in their presence unless I detransitioned. (I had to rely on them in order to see my children.) Then, I didn’t get an agreement on any of 14 other individuals willing to take my parents' role to enable me to see my children.

When I came out to my 9- and 7-year-old, they were fine with me being a woman. And there weren’t any issues after that. An issue arose only after my parents, like me, attended a basketball game in which my 7-year-old was playing and my 9-year-old was there. I entered the school where the game was going to take place, where I brought sports drinks (as I always did when I could see my children) and cute chocolate and pretzel critters for them. I saw my parents there. (They didn’t attend any game in the immediate preceding season – and they rarely, if at all, had attended any of my children’s games, to my understanding).

Just after I arrived, my mom pulled my children onto a stage in the gym where the game was going to take place. Only after my mom finished talking with them, did my children take opposition to me.

Only after that did my 9-year-old limit her communication with me to a total of some sporadic Facebook messages over two occasions per week. And only after that did my 7-year-old refuse to associate with me except for one 25-minute period where he sent me some Facebook messages.

I didn’t get an agreement for me to attend any games, either, after my parents and I fought. That happened after my mom probably fostered antagonism in my children on that stage, estranging them from me and thus making them incentives for me to detransition.