TRANS LIFE! July 2018
Today we are talking with our newest cover girl. I am very excited, this is our second issue now and I am pleased to introduce her! Her name is Jennifer. Jennifer how do you like to be introduced as and do you have any nicknames you go by? I prefer Jennifer, some call me Jenn. Jennifer is my legal name and has been for 2 years now. So, Jennifer did you ever think you would be a cover girl? No, I definitely did not and I am honoured to be chosen! Where was home for you growing up?
1|Page
My home is a small town in Oklahoma called Ponca City. It’s a little town, not very big. But it was the headquarters of an Oil company called Conoco now called it’s Conoco Philips. How was it like there? Did you feel free to be yourself? No, I could not be myself. My dad worked in the newspaper and worked there most of his life. My grandfather had a mechanic shop so everyone knew me through them, With the town so small I never felt like I could be me. What was life like as that person? Were there a lot of expectations of you? For who I was there was a lot of being that man, being the oldest of 5 kids and trying to live up to my elder’s expectations. I grew up in a farm world. I lived in town but I spent a lot of time on the farm. If I wasn’t helping one grandfather’s I was helping the other one in his shop. That’s basically where I learned all my work ethics. It turned me into kinda a workaholic, I never took time off for anything. Growing up in the Mid West, wow. What were some of your major roadblocks? Not really having anyone that I could relate to about the real me. I didn’t have anyone that I could talk to. Let alone I didn’t even know that transgender was
2|Page
even a word back then. There were a couple of gay guys in my high school, but they were really in your face about it and kind of their own little clique, and I was afraid to talk to them. I knew I was a girl and in the wrong body, but I didn’t know how to talk to anybody. Dad always said “You’re a boy, you have to man up and be a strong man” so I tried to emulate dad. Now some of these people who read this don’t realize that I have known you for a while. You have always mentioned your mom to me in the past. How was your relationship with her? Did she fully accept you? My relationship with my mom was always strong. I had to wait to come out to her for a while because of her blood pressure, but when I did come out to her she was upset at first, but I think some of the things I did when I was younger started making sense to her. She fully accepted me with no reservations. My relationship became stronger. But about 5 or 6 months into telling her she
3|Page
passed away from pancreatic cancer. I miss her horribly.
You got her to go in the truck with you right? Yes, she went with
me. After I started transitioning I said “Hey mom, I’m heading to Georgia to deliver a load. Would you like to go and we could swing by to see Shelly, my sister?” And she didn’t even blink an eye, just came into the truck with me. We went down there, stayed at my sister’s house for a couple days, went shopping. That was the first time I got to go shopping with my mom as Jennifer. It was really awesome and I wish I could still do that today. How about your father and other siblings? My dad passed away about 2, maybe 2 ½ years before my mom. I really wanted to tell him, but he got
4|Page
really sick and I was on the road all the time and I just couldn’t tell him. My sisters all accept me. They didn’t understand at first, but I related some things that were going on while we were growing up and they understood. My brother supported me at first, but he doesn’t now. He has his own problems. Looking back were there special people in your life that were your rock? My mom, my dad, my grandmother, family. Who has been your hero in your life? My mom and grandmother. Oklahoma! Oh my, what does a girl do for work there during pre-transition? I worked in restaurants as a kid, then moved into a grocery store, worked as a night manager, then a grocery manager, then assistant manger at a different store. I moved into landscaping. That was fun. Hard work, but fun. Then I worked as a welder. That was hard work, nasty dirty Ughhh. I learned a trade, something that has stuck with me even though I rarely do it anymore. Where did you eventually find your niche in life? I started driving truck for a dairy company in OK. I really did enjoy that. I was commuting 80 miles, then I found a job closer to home driving locally. I did
5|Page
hazmat driving for about 3 years, then I worked for Bowers Trucking for about 8 years through pretransition and a year post transition. When I came out everyone was told and that they needed to be respectful. It would not be tolerated if people where mean to me.
6|Page
And where you hang your hat at in your career now?I drive for Sherwin Williams as a team delivery driver. It will be the place I retire from. This corporation, how are they towards the trans community? Is it a safe work place for people to apply to if they live in the same region? It is a safe place to work. The HR department really takes it seriously. We have 3 transwomen who work in my area. Do you feel that this is where you want to be? I feel this is where I want to be and need to be. How have you seen the industry change in the years that you have been in it? The industry has changed quite a bit. The move from paper to electronic logs for example. And now there are a lot of trans women who work in this industry. There are a lot of companies who are supportive of transwomen. It seems to be a very willing industry to
7|Page
hire people for their qualifications and experience, not their gender. My experience is that trans women tend to be a bit more conscientious than the guys on the road. Maybe because we put more effort into our jobs than the average driver as we value our jobs more. If you could change things, what would they be? One thing would be insurance. To make sure trans women (and trans men too) that if you are paying for insurance that it will cover trans related health care. Your life now, how is it? My life now is good. I have a job that pays really well. I have benefits, I have a FiancÊe who loves me. I have friends who don’t care that I’m trans,
8|Page
they just know I’m a good person. I care about people. I have a big heart. I wouldn’t go back to the old person…. never in a billion years. I like my life now. I am who I am, living as I should have been for a lot longer than I should have been. Fiancée so your planning to get married? Yes! And she is also trans. Wow! How does that affect your relationship does that cause extra problems? No, it doesn’t cause extra problems. We know what our needs are. We are in this together She is totally supportive of me and I am totally supportive of her. When I get past my surgery it will be time for me to be there for her. I am happy to be there for her. And we have a plan for the rest of our lives. You have done some activist work in the past? Do want to talk about it? Is there plans for the future? My activism is donating to Human Rights Campaign and the ACLU. I go to trans meetings to help support other girls. I want to do more, but with my job it is limited.
9|Page
You are in Nevada now, how do you like it there? I LOVE Nevada. The people here are so nice! I often hear it is a trans friendly state. What does that mean actually? There are laws on the books in Nevada to protect trans people, and laws about medical insurance. Nevada based companies’ insurance plans must cover all trans related health care/surgeries even including vocal surgery. Also, it is the same for Medicaid. People who are unemployed for other reasons are covered too that way as well. Have you been fortunate to use these services? Yes! I have had breast augmentation and am scheduled for vaginoplasty in September and I’m super excited about that. Okay let’s take a turn here, you say life is good, How or where do you see you in 10 years? 4 years away from retirement!!!!
10 | P a g e
Do you have any other dreams of what you would like to do with your life after this career? After this career? I would like to be more active in activism. Working in a flower shop. Kind as like a hobby. If you could change anything in your life. Is there something you would want to change? I wish I would have raised my kids a bit better. I did the best I could. In closing would you like to say to the readers out there? Live your life to the fullest! Be who you are! Be strong and be confident!
11 | P a g e
12 | P a g e
I almost passed away from self medication! “It’s pretty depressing when I think about it.” “At one point my body weight came close to 300 lbs. Boxes full of Hostess Cup Cakes and Yummy rolls had doubled my size, and I could only wear the biggest men’s size sweatpants, which was fine with me. On some days I couldn’t get myself out of bed and just lay there. I managed to stay in bed for a whole week and tried to sleep as much as I could. Sleeping was my new mantra. When I slept, I didn’t need to think about how depressing
13 | P a g e
the whole shit world had become around me. So, sleeping, sleeping, sleeping. that’s all I did.” Alice lights a cigarette. We meet at the coffee shop in downtown Limoilo (Quebec). Alice responded to my ad in which I asked for transgender experiences. I find it hard to believe that this quirky lady has ever been as she described: overweight and depressed. Signs of her past show no longer. “I picked one day in the month on which I would buy as much groceries as I could. I would fill my cart with boxes of mac ‘n cheese, noodles, pizza’s, and T.V. dinners. After a few months, the store manager offered to have it all ready, so I would only have to stop in the loading zone, a nd store clerks would load the boxes in the van. At home, I parked in the driveway. I always wondered if I should unload all the groceries right away or wait until the morning. Not that any fresh vegetables would go bad overnight. I would stare at the boxes and cry. It was exhausting, my overweight, my depression. Then I would decide I had more energy in the morning. I postponed unloading to the next day. I pulled the keys from the ignition and locked the van, the only thing on my mind was how quick I could go to bed. I was more energetic in the morning than in the afternoon. Still in PJ’s, I would waddle to the van, unload everything in the kitchen and go back to bed. It was pretty sad. Depressing actually, when I think about it.”
14 | P a g e
“This lasted about two years. The only significant change I ever made was moving from my bed to the couch, so I could watch television, which stayed on 24/7 in the end. I didn’t even bother to change the channel. It was a constant brain-dead experience. “I didn’t shower for months, yeah. I know. How could I have ended up this way?” “My parents, they wanted their son back… “ Alice’s transition started when she was 20. By ordering hormones off the internet, she was able to transition into a woman quickly before going to university. “You can’t do that now but back then there was an online pharmacy, and their delivery was very stable. I was in my last year of college (2-year school) and was going to continue at the university. I pushed myself to finish transition in the last semester of college. University would start in September, and I received my first hormones in January of that same year. So, I would have nine months to transition to ‘Alice.’” Alice started working out in the gym early in the morning before school. According to the website “Source Transgender,” estrogen would redistribute body fat and could cause overweight, something Alice dreaded. Practising her voice and taking hormones advanced her physical appearance quickly. By March not a lot of people
15 | P a g e
recognized the old Alice as a man anymore. Instead, they saw a fit young lady with long thick hair. “By graduation time, Francine at the administration requested me to sign some documents. At first, Francine wouldn’t believe it was me, not even when I showed her my college card. Which was stupid because it showed my picture from the year before, where I was still the old me. Francine wasn’t very talkative and seemed upset. I probed to see what was wrong but she would not answer.” “A lot of people reacted like that. I travelled home shortly after my graduation. My parents gave me the silent treatment. They couldn’t believe how much I had changed and looked at me in disbelief. One morning, at breakfast my mother hugged me and said I had to go. I was no longer their son, she explained, it was hard for them to see me like this. I cried and begged. My parents! How was that even remotely possible? But the long and short of it was that they wanted their son back. I packed the same morning and stuffed everything I had in my car and drove back. Numbed by depression, I just sat on the couch, slept and ate. That’s when it all started.”
16 | P a g e
‘I’m even amazed you are still alive.’ Alice missed the first days of her first year at university and then decided not to attend at all. Depressed, she went online to look for WordPress programming and coding assignments to make a living until a large agency in the United States hires her permanently. “I was at home all day. I worked in the early morning and then went back to bed. I lost all my friends. I was supposed to start university with them, but I never showed up that first day. It completely slipped by and seemed so trivial and unimportant.” “After about two years, I went to our doctor. My right ankle had started to hurt, and the pain became unbearable. I was sent for bloodwork and was supposed to come back after a week. But the secretary called me back after three days; I had to go in that day. That’s when I knew something was wrong. I waited in the doctor’s office and was staring at his diploma’s and his wedding picture when he came in. I had told him everything about the estrogen I found online, my ‘secret transition’, and how my parents had kicked me out of the house. He sat down and looked through the papers,
17 | P a g e
then looked at me over his half-moon reading glasses and said: ‘Your ankle is a result of blood clots. The…’ he paused here ‘… estrogen you found online is causing it; the dosage is too high. You need to stop taking them. I will prescribe you much lighter doses and blood thinners. We’ll do blood again in 14 days to see how you progress.” “Will I go back to being a male?” I asked, and he said: “Some light male features will come back. I will put you in contact with an endocrinologist who can take care of the proper medication. If you continue this way it will cause a heart attack; I’m even amazed you are still alive.” “I started crying and couldn’t stop anymore. The doctor also advised me to go to a weekly support group for LGBT. He recommended it, several of his patients went there, and the sessions had done them well. I had no intention of going but the group leader, Sabine, called me up in the morning and said: “I expect you by 8 pm, this is an official appointment”. I stuttered and said I would be there. It was funny because Sabine called them all. And she would say before the group started: “I’m here for you, I show you respect, you show me respect by showing up.” She was amazing. I felt part of it, and I felt respected!”
18 | P a g e
“The group did a lot for me. I met Thomas. He was overweight as well, but he had these beautiful, pretty eyes and they twinkled when he laughed. Thomas is funny. He told me how he had lost 100 something pounds by going to the gym and he asked if I would join him.” Alice joined her new friends and changed her eating regimen from boxes of chocolates and Hostess Cup Cakes to a diet of vegetables and low carb foods. “My fat belly began to hang as well as the fat under my arms and my double chin. But I lost weight quickly. Now, after losing fat, loose skin hung and dangled. My doctor said it would disappear as long as I kept up the exercise. And it did.” “This was two years ago. I have come a long way. Thomas is still my friend; I like him a lot, it’s a shame he’s gay. My father has visited me a couple of times. Just by surprise. I chat with my mother a lot on the phone or through Skype. I think I realized I should have informed them before my transition, explain what it is all about. That would have given them a fair chance.” Alice is back at her old weight and sees her endocrinologist twice a year. Although it shows, she has had a harsh past her eyes stare into the world curiously. She attends L'Université du Québec and plans to graduate in 2021.
19 | P a g e
credits Text: Darianne Echeverri, interview with Alice Babineau, Quebec City, April 2018 copy editing: Tessel Geurts https://www.firstaidforfree.com%2Ffirst-aid-for-depression https://www.bphope.com%2Fgetting-things-done-whenyoure-depressed-the-mystery-of-motivation https://www.docsopinion.com%2F2018%2F02%2F25%2F depression-symptoms https://www.soc.ucsb.edu
20 | P a g e
HELPFUL ONLINE DATING TIPS Are you trying to find your soul mate online? Here are some helpful tips to use when you sign up! - Create a username that begins with a letter in the first half of the alphabet (especially if the site is organized alphabetically!) - Choose a profile name that hints at your appearance, i.e. Dimples or Tall Blond - Tell more about yourself than about who you are looking for. At least 70% should be about you, you-you! Showcase yourself! - Don’t just say you’re funny. Be funny. Make a joke and show your sense of humor! - In the photo, put yourself in the center, smile so that your eye corners crease and wear bright vibrant colors! - Respond promptly to any messages you receive
21 | P a g e
This track reminds me of…. This episode, Brenda Carvalho from Beaverton, OR tells her story about the song she chose “Long train running” by the Doobie Brothers, composer Thom Johnston “The top floor of the townhouse where my friend Richard lived was a classic attic. A blue wooden floor stretched out, and daylight came in from a large window on the front of the house. Big chests and boxes were stacked in a corner. They contained theatre costumes and makeup, wigs, shoes and stockings, suspenders, glasses. My friends' mother had brought the chests up three years before after she had to close down a theatre-going bankrupt.”
22 | P a g e
“But one afternoon in July 1985, Richard and I went up and started going through the chests. I pulled out clothes, and Richard sat down in front of the mirror and tried applying makeup while I found the dress I wanted to try on. Half a clown, half Velma (from Scooby Doo), Richard asked me how he looked like. I was partly undressed and putting on a full ballooning ball gown. To do so, I had taken of my button-down shirt and had managed to put on the dress only half way, exposing my naked top part when he asked me the question. “Ridiculous,” I replied. His eyes scanned my halfnaked body, and the classic dress pulled up over my jeans when he started to laugh, and so did I. It was pretty ridiculous. I ended up as a combination of “Sissi” and “Anne of Green Gables,” wearing the dress and a red-haired wig.” “When we were done we admired ourselves in the classic dress mirrors. I pulled a portable stereo set with a tape deck (used in "Grease on Stage") from a corner; a theatre prop according to Richard. To me, it seemed a pretty sophisticated piece of equipment and wondered if anyone in the Grease audience had noticed it at the time of the performance.”
23 | P a g e
“The Sony tape player held a Sony HF-s90 cassette with the Doobie Brothers. That was the perfect music we needed! We danced to “Long Train Running,” our skirts waved in all directions, and we really had fun. It was pretty hot up there. From under the Anne wig drips of sweat rolled on my eyebrows and onto my cheeks. But we didn't care, we danced when suddenly the telephone rang. We tried not to laugh when Richard answered the phone. It was Pedro’s Italian Pizza on the corner two blocks down the street. They asked us when we were coming to pick up the pizza we ordered.” “Richard looked at me with the telephone in his ear. “Erm, we will be there in ten minutes, I had forgotten about the pizza,” he said and hung up. We started laughing, and I asked what we should do. We had promised to be there in ten minutes. Getting undressed and wiping off all the makeup would take at least an hour. Especially me with my Sissy dress.” “So, we decided not to undress and just hop in the car and drive over.”
24 | P a g e
“I remember the staring faces when Sissi and Anne of Green Gables and a male/female prostitute with messed up makeup walked through the restaurant of Pedro’s Italian Pizzeria to pick up our Hawaiian pizza.” “We would tell this story until years later and always laugh about it. Those were really great times. “ “Over time, I lost sight of Richard. He graduated from university about 8 years later, 8 years in which we hung out together and did a lot of stupid dressing stunts. “ “My dressing part wasn’t done. I came out as transgender and started a full transition when I was 28. I went through a severe depression until one day I read the lyrics of Long Train Running. I remembered how Richard and I had always found this song to dance to. We were just friends, but I do remember how he said one day: "It's a pretty sad song, this lady stuck in the circumstances of the past." We were young and didn't care much for the lyrics.
25 | P a g e
But at a depth of my depression, I heard this song again and thought back to what Richard had said. This time my eyes read and re-read the last paragraph a few times: "When the big train run When the train is movin' on I got to keep on movin' Keep on movin' Won't you keep on movin'? Gonna keep on movin' It reminded me I need to keep on moving on with life. It still took me almost a year to get back on my feet. I got help from my doctor and went to a local LGBT group. Eventually, I went full time as a female. Slowly life got better, and I even met my soul mate. I still live with her today. I never imagined that to be possible.” “Now, when I hear “Long Train Running,” I think back to that day we picked up our pizza at Pedro’s. Life was excellent, and I still laugh about the stupid things we did. That's how life should be. 'When the train is movin' on, I got to keep on movin'.” As told to Darianne Echeverri by Brenda Carvalho Credits:
26 | P a g e
https://akronrrclub.wordpress.com/tag/illinois-centralsd70s/ https://www.amazon.com/Sissi-Forever-Love-RomySchneider/dp/B00CFK5JT0m,l https://www.ebosscanada.com/ytv-will-be-airing-two-newanne-of-green-gables-movies/ https://991.com/Buy/ProductInformation.aspx?StockNumb er=153095
I recently discovered that having sex on a stove top does NOT make you pansexual, but it can be a really hot experience!
I got a full-body tattoo done in flesh-coloured ink. I wanted to feel like a rebel, but I really didn't want anyone to notice.
After my bottom surgery I was told that yeast infections are now a possibility, so I went out and bought a bread maker in anticipation. Comedian Veronica Gingles
Do you want to tell us about music that makes you move, cry, laugh, dance, chill out? Tell us why, when and how and we’ll put it in our next edition: translifemagazine@hotmail.com
27 | P a g e
Here is a quick easy and fun summer craft to brighten your door!
Flip Flop wreath Supplies: At least 4 pairs of brightly colored flip flops depending on size of finished wreath you want (can be all the same, 2, 3 4 or more different colors) Silk flowers that match or contrast with the flip flops (if using one color flip flops make sure the flowers are a contrast!) Either a large sheet of cardboard (indoor use) or a pool noodle and some duct tape (outdoor use)
28 | P a g e
Sea shells, sunglasses, butterflies, fake fruit, pinwheels---be creative and find some accessories to make your wreath uniquely you! Hot glue gun, scissors/knife Ribbon to match (optional)
If you are doing an indoor wreath, cut a wreath shape from the cardboard to match the size of the flip flops you have arranged in a circle. If you are doing an outdoor wreath, bend the pool noodle into a circle shape, cut to size and use duct tape to connect the two ends together. Using the hot glue gun, glue the flip flops to the cardboard or pool noodle wreath. Make sure they are touching each other so the pool noodle/cardboard isn’t clearly visible.
29 | P a g e
Decorate the flip flops with flowers, sunglasses, sea shells, butterflies, fake fruit, pinwheels the ideas are endless‌whatever makes you think of summer and fun! Make a loop out of a 2 foot long piece of ribbon and attach to the top of the wreath if wanted to make a hanger. Some examples found on Pinterest are shown for ideas!
30 | P a g e
Transgender Memorial Garden In St Louis, Missouri there is a sanctuary for the transgender community. This sanctuary was established in 2015 and is the first of it’s kind in the United States and the second in the world. This garden is a memorial for all of our sisters and brothers who have met with violent ends, whether it is suicide or at the hands of another. It is
31 | P a g e
sad to think of it in those terms but take a walk with me for a few minutes. I walked this garden earlier in the spring, when there was not a lot of growth, but what growth there was happens to be the first new growth of spring; the budding trees and new tulips. The butterfly bed was dormant but promising the bright blooms that will attract the butterflies. The site of the new beds that will be put in in a few weeks were not obvious yet, but will bloom with pink, white and blue flowers and the small vegetable garden that will mostly feed the wild life unless someone actually gets to pick what is available. So, in actuality, the garden is a place of life, as our sign says, “They thought they were burying us, they did not KNOW we were seeds�. Our fallen live in this garden, and their memories will never die as long as the gardens of the world are there to memorialize them. Last year, the state of Missouri lost two of our sisters, one to an over zealous officer using unnecessary deadly force against a person, Kiwi Herring of St Louis, Missouri and a young, rural teenage girl, newly out as herself, being stabbed to death by a lover and two friends, Ally Steinfeld. Both cases are heart wrenching, but those are stories for another time. The important thing is to remember them and say their names regularly. Keeping them alive. If you know someone who died, they are in the garden, and waiting for your visit to say their names and talk with them. By Shelley Lynn Tibbs-Moore
32 | P a g e
By: Shelley Tibbs-Moore
33 | P a g e
Summer braids or wavy hair – a hot new trend! Braids are back and for you too! Braid your long hair in the summer, stay cool and draw some attention to your face! For a better result ask a friend or family member to braid your hair. Learn how to braid your hair here for a French braid https://www.wikihow.com/French-Braid or for other braiding ideas read Vogue’s March episode https://www.vogue.com/article/alicia-vikander-braidedhairstyles-beauty-tomb-raider-lara-croft-michaelfassbender Remember to apply sunscreen to your hairline and focus on your make up. Don’t like braids? Put them in anyway right after a shower and leave them in overnight. Pull out the braid in the morning and enjoy wavy curly hair all day long.
Photo by: Nicole De Khors https://burst.shopify.com
34 | P a g e
Caprese Stuffed Chicken Thighs. Prep Time: 10 mins Servings: 6 Cook Time: 50 mins Calories: 394 Total Time: 1 hr. Author: Carrie’s Experimental Kitchen 6-5oz bone in chicken thighs 2 Plum tomatoes sliced 6 oz Fresh Mozzarella sliced 2 tbsp chopped fresh basil Olive oil or cooking spray Kosher salt and Fresh ground pepper to taste
35 | P a g e
INSTRUCTIONS 1. Preheat oven to 375 F. 2. Place 1-2 tomato slices (depending on how small) under the chicken thigh skin, top with a slice of fresh mozzarella and basil, I used whole fresh leaves but chopped Is fine also; then drizzle some olive oil on top of skin (or use an olive oil cooking spray) and season with Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper. 3. Place the chicken in an oven safe baking dish and pop it into the oven for about 50-60 minutes (depending on the size of your chicken thighs) until a minimum temperature of 180F is reached
“I found this dish very easy, considering that the hardest part was hollowing a pocket between the skin and the thigh. This dish was delicious as prepared. I thought that a touch of rosemary and a sprinkle of garlic powder would enhance the flavor, but that is for the next time I make this dish�.
36 | P a g e
Summer Berry Spinach Salad with Easy Strawberry Vinaigrette (Vegan, Gluten free, Paleo) ∙ Serves 4-6 10 oz Baby spinach 1 cup Blueberries 1/2 cup Cherries, dried 3 cups Strawberry, whole 3 tbsp Maple syrup 3 tbsp Avocado oil 1/2 cup of pecans 2 tbsp Apple cider vinegar, Salt & pepper Mix it all together (all liquids together first) and enjoy a summer non kitchen heater meal that you can take anywhere! Simple and easy. You can add your personal choice of fruit or nuts.
37 | P a g e
Serving all of your needs, Canada United States and United Kingdom.
All Major Credit cards accepted. Please contact me for any questions.
38 | P a g e
Learning to love yourself‌ Part 2
Not one of us is born not liking ourselves. The vast majority of our learning is done in the first two years of our lives. During that time we are too busy crawling, teething, babbling and getting into things we shouldn’t to take time out to think anything negative about ourselves. The world is too full of awesome stuff for us to even take a break let alone think about the size of our waistlines or how we should have better social skills. So what happens to us? Why do we suspend our sense of wonder more and more the closer we reach to adulthood? Why do we get trapped in our own heads and
39 | P a g e
begin the slow process of doubting and scrutinizing every little thing about our minds and bodies? Society is partly to blame especially where women are concerned - we are consistantly and overtly sexualized from our preteens onward. We are taught that our bodies contain our value. What does that say to a trans woman who is going through a process to become her authentic self and all the outside world cares about is how sexy she will be at the ‘end’ of her journey? So what do we do? There’s a saying in Taoism that I have tattooed on my back: ‘Water finds its own level”. The imagery behind that saying is that when you look at any body of water you see it raging or roiling or gently gurgling along, and sometimes you see it completely still. Whatever water is doing, it is doing exactly what it is supposed to be doing at that particular moment. It doesn’t care whether it looks right or behaves properly, it will find itself doing exactly what it needs to do. Children
40 | P a g e
are the same. They will have the best day of their lives lurching along covered in old cheerio crumbs and the remains of their last jar of baby food. Everything they do is deliberately what they want to do and should be doing at that time. Adults shake their heads in amusement and confusion but the baby knows what’s going on.So maybe we need to be a bit more like children, and a bit more like water. Each carries on with its daily routine without any care to who’s watching or judging. Sure it’s not that easy, we have to interact with the adult world and all its cares and intricacies but not everything has to be so serious. Love the childish things within you, love the process and maybe, just maybe you’ll care a little more about the path in front of you and a little less about who might be watching you. -Erin Shaw-
41 | P a g e
Homemade Easy Mosquito and Tick Repellent Are you tired of spending money on canisters of artificial bug spray? Here’s a recipe for an allnatural homemade bug repellant that works. You will need a large jar for mixing and a small spray bottle to use it. (Ones from a dollar store work just fine) The oils can be found in the health food section of most large supermarkets or stores like Bulk Barn (in Canada) or Trader Joes (in the US). In the large jar mix together the following ingredients: - 6 oz witch hazel - 2 oz castor oil - 5 drops cinnamon oil - 15 drops of eucalyptus oil - 15 drops citronella oil Shake well before using, easy to use in a small spray bottle. Have a great summer!
42 | P a g e
-Magic Eye-
43 | P a g e
Asian Breakfast Omelette A low carb dish full of energy at the start of your day! This dish serves two. Ingredients: -Two teaspoons olive oil -1 ½ cup fresh bean sprouts - ½ cup sliced water chestnuts - Fresh ground black pepper - 1 cup egg mixture of your choice (e.g. just egg white, or whole eggs, store-bought mix, etc.) - Four slices lean ham or turkey breast (from the deli section), cut into pieces In a large skillet, heat the olive oil. Add the bean sprouts and water chestnuts, sauté for about a minute, don’t overcook as the bean sprouts should be crisp. Pour the eggs in the skillet. Sprinkle pieces of ham/turkey on top, cover and cook for another 2 to 3 minutes, depending on how you like to eat your egg. Ground fresh pepper on top and serve hot. To round out this breakfast, instead of toast, why not try 1 cup of high-fiber, no sugar added bran cereal in 1 cup skim milk to boost your morning! By Darianne Echeverri
44 | P a g e
45 | P a g e
***The following pages are a trigger warning for some. Please realize the significance before entering. ***
46 | P a g e
As the owner/editor of this magazine, I have decided that including what follows this explanation IS important. We hear of people in our community who have been murdered often, far too often. We have even made November 20th an international day to remember them called Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR). I have worked with and struggled with TDOR planning as planners often say suicide doesn’t apply to TDOR naming or remembrance. It may not have been a crime that killed them. But in a way the system has let them down. Society has let them down. They felt the only way they could get the pain to stop‌ was to leave this world. I want to make a space where these people can be respected. And remembered as well. I want people to know who these people were. I want someone to ask why they could not find their way. The only way to stop this is to fix the issues! We will publish names / pictures / and information about transgender people who have committed suicide. Please contact myself directly at translifemagazine@hotmail.com to submit a person to remember. Complete respect will be maintained at all times. Autumn Bourque -Trans Life-
47 | P a g e
“TRANSGENDER SUICIDE�
In Memory of all those who have died by their own hand. May they have found peace from their inner turmoil and the compassion of love that they could not find in life. May we comfort those who mourn their loved ones. Help us strengthen them to face the questions of pain, the guilt and anger, the irreparable loss. In their memory, may we reach out in love to others who prefer death to the choices of life and to the families who struggle to support them.
48 | P a g e
Katterina Barnes June 11, 2018 Gone, but never forgotten. You will be missed by many.
49 | P a g e
Gabriella Holley June 27, 2018 Gone, but never forgotten. You will be missed by many.
50 | P a g e
Chloe Sagal June 21, 2018 Gone, but never forgotten. You will be missed by many
51 | P a g e
52 | P a g e