THE
WINDHOEK COLLECTION
Ms Know-It-All
How to be polite in different Namibian cultures
H
ave you ever been in a situation where you think you are being super polite to someone, only to provoke a less than favourable reaction? That’s because we don’t all speak the same language. Body language, that is.
Good manners have a lot to do with how we express ourselves through our bodies. Do we turn towards someone when they speak, or do we turn away, do we look them in the eye or avoid eye-contact? Depending on the situation, a certain way of behaving could mean respect in one culture and deceitfulness in another. If you ever get asked over to your Significant Other’s parents for dinner, beware. There’s a lot that can go wrong. If you are dating an Afrikaner you need to find out exactly how “old-school” their parents are. Boys and men are expected to shake hands with the father. Keep your elbows off the table, don’t chew with your mouth open and help clear the dishes. Oh, and remember to stand when the man of the house walks into the room the first time. Now, in the case of an Owambo friend you had better get a list of possible no-no’s beforehand. Greetings are a big deal, so asking the parents how they are isn’t something you can rush through. Greetings, or lack thereof, can be a major sign of disrespect. Ask the parents and anyone else you come across how they are, slowly, and like you mean it. Young women make a little curtsey when they greet, guys a little bow. Not making eye-contact conveys respect. Then it’s dinner time. It is customary to wash your hands at the table, DO NOT refuse. Wait for the man of the house to help himself first before you take your turn and then wait for him to take his first bite. Keep your meat for last. If you are the girlfriend you better expect to be clearing the dishes afterwards, starting with your potential father-in-law, then mom, then boo. Plus, you’ll be doing the washing up, so don’t bother getting a manicure before your visit. The best advice I can give you to get through the minefield of cultural etiquette and norms is to just be aware of how other people act, and let their behaviour guide yours. If you’re unsure, ask. When people know your intentions are good they won’t hesitate to help you. Look out for cues from those around you. And never ever, ever address anyone older than you by their first name.
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Just don’t.
Nina van Zyl 49
