The Happiness problem

I don’t like to write about happiness. It’s become so overdone and yet under-experienced. The pursuit of happiness has everyone idealistically chasing rainbows while wearing a grumpy facial expression. But strangely enough, considering where we find ourselves in history, we have the requisites for a really happy year ahead. A year poised with the promise of unbound joy. This might sound odd, but bear with me as we explore the possible benefit to problems.

Mark Manson, in his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, postulates that “Happiness comes from solving problems.” Considering the juncture where we currently stand as a society, we certainly have enough problems in need of solutions. Yet, you seldom find someone who loves solving problems. Most people love to run away or deny their problems. Amazingly, it’s the problem solver who has figured out something ingenious: we get a rush of happiness, a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction from our objective analysis and correction of our problems.

Much like the blood that runs through our veins, problems are universal to all living creatures. Rich or poor, problems are guaranteed. Only the degree of our perspective differs. Regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in, our problems feel extremely intense to us. Problems are also a fundamental part of life, and miniature learning opportunities that offer a happiness byproduct. A lack of problems is a lack of progress.

By now, though, you are into your fourth paragraph of reading a story about problems. Can you feel your discomfort? We humans prefer avoiding our problems, even running away from them. It seems like a much easier option. The mere thought of having to face problems headon usually causes enough discomfort to rather make us opt for denial or avoidance.

Conversely though, when we take a hard and earnest look at what our problems are, and then apply ourselves to constructively solving them with the tools we have available to us… we feel happy.

I recently watched a friend create her own torment as she avoided a problem in her home. I saw her lament under the heavy burden. I saw, too, how she pulled herself up and with all her might faced her dilemma armed only with her own truth. The outcome wasn’t that of a glossy movie ending, but rather one of real life complicated by struggles. It wasn’t perfect, but in the end my friend felt better. The joy brought to her by facing her problem and her truth, outweighed the struggle she felt when she simply suffered the consequences of her problem.

The key here is your own problems. When we look outwardly we easily find countless problems in need of solutions in the world. Those problems, unlike our own, are easier to spot. Recognising where we ourselves are at fault is a much harder task. Yet, by consistently addressing our own problems we cause welcome change in our lives, and thereby, the world.

This may not be an easy recipe, but it is one that holds great promise. Life is complicated, and full of problems. We create more problems when we avoid our own problems, and we feel better when we tackle them. With what we face today in the world, in our homes and even in our own heads, it’s time to get to work. It’s time to stand strong and face what we need to. Knowing that the reward of our courage is the joy that problem solving brings.

And while that might sound idealistic, also remember that happiness (much like love) is complex. There is no simple step (no one size fits all) that will bring complete unbridled happiness. There is a collection of steps that create your unique experience of happiness. There are also suggestions along the way which can help you find your own experience of happiness. Just know one thing: happiness is not a destination, a thing or a place you arrive at…. it’s a feeling, it’s something you experience and something you yourself create.

Kirsty Watermeyer