College Tribune: Issue 11

Volume 20 / Issue 11

ucd.ie/tribune

17th April 2007

The Trouble Snow Patrol with Irish Film THIS WEEK IN

Ready to rock Oxegen - Exclusive Interview Page 5 Filming in Hollywood's shadow - Page 16

Heal the world Students march for climate change - Page 3

Shambles ● Students face mass grant delays ● ‘Total reform' of system required Thousands of UCD students are once again facing delays in receiv- Caitrina Cody ing their grant payments next Sepdisappointed for students. I am disaptember because legislation that was set to make the system more pointed that the whole thing was anefficient will not be passed before nounced over fourteen months ago and it still hasn’t come to the Dáil. It this year’s General Election.

UCD Students’ Union Education Of- was a priority at the time but not as ficer Brian Doyle expressed his frustra- much as it should have been.”

The Bill would have changed the tion with the news that the Student Support Bill will be delayed, “I’m very system in which student grant appli-

Just past the Quinn School!

cations are processed, making it more efficient. All applications would have been processed by the country’s 33 Vocational Education Committees (VECs); which would have facilitated students who apply to the system and avoided late payments.

When the bill is passed, there will be legally binding deadlines for the issuing of grants that the VEC must obey.

Doyle emphasised that a total overhaul was necessary if the situation was to be improved. “The grant system is not going to operate on an efficient level until it is totally reformed.”

He explained that it was unfortunate that the legislation would not be passed by the current government.

“When it comes to the General Election, we don’t know if the next government will prioritise the bill. Various

parties will have various manifestoes and it is hard to know who will concentrate on this issue.”

Education Minister Mary Hanafin has stated that while she hopes to publish the Student Support Bill before the General Elections, it will not be passed in time to implement it next year.

Continued on page four

MOLLOY’S

MERVILLE

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April 17th

Editor Colin Gleeson Design Editors Simon Ward & Tara Phelan Sports Editor Ben Blake Features Editor Matthew Parkinson Bennett Health & Fashion Editor Caitrina Cody Arts Editor Barra O Fianail Music Editor Hugh Fowler Contributors: Ronan Dempsey, Jack Cane, Mark Canavan, Brian Sweeney, Paul Dillion, Eoin Mac Aodha, John O'Flynn, Aidan Mac Guill, Rebecca Glynn, Dara O'Donoghue, Lorcan Archer, Steuart Alexander, Cathy Buckmaster, Hanna Kousbroek, Susan Cahill, Treasa De Loughry, Jack Horgan Jones, Jordan Daly, Eoin Delap, Kilian O'Connor

Special Thanks To: Gary, Stephen & Billy @ Spectator Newspapers, Eilis O'Brien, Dominic Martella, A&B.

Contact Us: E: collegetribune@gmail.com T: 01-7168501, LG 18, Newman Building Box 74, Student Centre, Belfield, D4.

NEWS

College Tribune 17th April 2007

Hanafin intervenes in Early Irish dispute Minister for Education Mary Hanafin has intervened in the dispute about the downgrading of Early Irish in UCD. The Minister contacted President Hugh Brady in recent weeks to voice her concern about changes to the status of Early Irish at UCD, which have already drawn an angry reaction from a wide range of distinguished Irish and international scholars.

Hanafin, a former Irish teacher, is said to be dismayed about a situation in which UCD no longer offers Early and Medieval Irish as a full degree subject. The chair in the subject has also been abolished.

It is understood that Brady has promised to examine the status of Early Irish in the college in the context of an overall strategic review.

A UCD spokesperson told the College Tribune that the head of the School of Irish and Celtic Studies, Dr Liam Mac Mathúna, is conducting a detailed review of all aspects of teaching and learning, including the issue of student recruitment.

The college declared that only two students were taking Early Irish at undergraduate level and it was in this context that the decision was taken not to offer it as a full degree course this year.

UCD’s downgrading of Early Irish has attracted a great deal of attention from

Colin Gleeson the national media and the general public.

This newspaper revealed earlier in the year how final year students Nienke van Etten and Ian Lynch were forced to take modules in brand new courses midway through their final year, after the Early Irish course was axed by the college.

Also, just a fortnight ago, the College Tribune reported that former Trinity College Professor George Huxley has slated the decision taken by UCD to drop the course.

He declared, “Could you imagine Oxford University refusing to teach Early and Middle English, or Heidelberg University refusing to teach Old and Middle High German?”

He went on to say that the “selfcongratulatory, oligarchic, over-paid managers at UCD have been behaving as though they were CEOs of a pharmaceutical corporation or other conglomerate.”

The college spokesperson concluded that with regard to the decision to review the situation, “The University is committed to Irish and it plans to sustain and develop Irish and Celtic Studies through the development of a stimulating range of modules that will attract a greater number of students.”

Mary Hanafin: Has waded into the Early Irish debate

Candidates clash in race Triboku for Women's Officer EASY

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8 1 7 2 3 3 6 7 5 6 1 2 3 6 8 6 1 3 1 9 4 8 2 6 7 5 1 6 2 7 6 FIENDISHLY DIFFICULT .

3 7 6 5 9 4 4 6 4 2 7 6 5 2 9 8 6 1 4 3 8 2 3

for the students, if they want me to be an Equality Officer, then that's what I'll be."

O'Connor is a first year Law and Philosophy student. Her opponent Elisa O'Donovan received 28.6 percent of the votes in the election while Mary O'Flynn received 21.9 percent. O'Donovan was not available to comment at the time of going to print.

Speaking to the College Tribune after her victory, O'Connor expressed her delight and praised the efforts of her campaign team.

“I'm absolutely delighted, it still hasn't sunk in and it'll probably take a while. It's still a bit of a shock. I'm just so thankful to my campaign team they were so committed, anytime I needed them they were there."

Asked about the fact that she was the youngest candidate in the election, O'Connor declared, “I think its good to have someone who is younger with a fresh perspective. A lot of older people in the Union have a lot of prejudice. I have new ideas that are practical and achievable."

Caitrina Cody In the aftermath of the Students' Union Executive Elections, losing candidate Mary O'Flynn has criticised her opponents in the race for the position of Women's Officer and the manner in which they ran their campaigns.

In a speech after the results were released, O'Flynn voiced her disapproval of the campaigns of both winning candidate Aisling O'Connor, who won the election with 43% of the votes and third candidate Elisa O'Donovan.

When asked by the College Tribune to comment on her remarks, O'Flynn did not wish to comment, “I don't particularly want to talk about it. I don't think there's any point in talking about that now."

She went on to say, “I ran on an honest platform, I wanted to run to get the issues out there and that's what I think I did. Statistics show that the majority of students are pro-choice and I made a stand on that. I was the only candidate to actually come out clearly and say that. I also ran on an antideportation platform.

“People have been complaining about the role of Women's Officer and saying that it is outdated. The reason I ran was that I really wanted to show what it could be. Women's Officer should be more about women's liberation and bringing the battle for gender inequality to the foreground."

She explained that she felt that the other candidates were not focusing on issue relevant to the position, “It's all well and good providing good lighting and STI testing but in reality that comes under the mandate of

Aisling O'Connor: Women's Officer Elect

The Winners...

Natalie Dunne Finance - 82%

Welfare Officer."

Winning candidate O'Connor termed the contents of O'Flynn's speech as victimisation. “It was something I thought was uncalled for. The three of us got on fine during the campaign; there was no need for her to take it like that. Comments were made that offended me but you know, you just fob it off and get on with things.

“To be honest, the title of the role of Women's Officer is totally irrelevant to me. If I can concentrate on the issues rather than the title of the role, I'll be happy. I'm there

Aoghn O De

Irish Language Officer - 88%

Scott Ahearn

Arts - 49%

Claire Gallagher Arts - 26% Helen Keane

Agriculture & Veterinarian - 87.5%

Conor King

Business and Law - 88%

Conor Fingleton Engineering and Architecture 53% Stephen Fitzpatrick Communications & IT - 81% Conor Fingleton Engineering and Architecture - 53% Isobel O'Connor

Health - 90%

Paul Fannon

Science - 85%

NEWS

College Tribune 17th April 2007

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TDs slate government at SU march ● TDs repulsed by government at climate change march ● Government ‘has failed the people of Ireland'

Labour Party and Green Party TDs condemned the government’s lack of action on climate change and declared that the government “has failed the people of this country” at a demonstration organised by Students’ Union Deputy President Dave Curran.

Over one hundred and fifty UCD students were present at the rally, which consisted of a march from the Dail to the Department of the Environment, where TDs Eamon Ryan and Eamon Gilmore spoke to the crowd about the government’s failings.

TD and Labour Party spokesperson on the Environment Eamon Gilmore said “I do not support and will not support the strategy of buying our way out of the climate change problem. It is environmentally irresponsible and as a Socialist I find it repulsive that the idea that any rich country or developed society should buy pollution from those who can’t afford to have electricity in the first place.”

He added, “There is now some public appreciation of the scale of the climate change problem and its consequences for humankind and for

Colin Gleeson the Earth. What I don’t think we have yet is an appreciation of the scale of the response that is required. The climate change problem can be resolved, can be dealt with and must be dealt with.”

Gilmore outlined the necessary steps that need to be taken. “In this country we are putting into the atmosphere seventy millions tonnes of carbon every year. To meet our existing Kyoto commitments we have to get it down to sixty-three million by 2012 and to meet the new Euvropean Union target we must get it down to forty-four million by 2020. I believe it starts with the day that all of you go out to vote in the next General Election because in my opinion the Minister for the Environment has sat on this issue for the last ten years and has failed the people of this country.”

Speaking to the crowd, Eamon Ryan, TD and spokesperson on Marine and Natural Resources, was emphatic that great changes could be achieved.

“If you believe in social justice, if it’s

March: SU Deputy President Dave Curran addressed the masses

your burning ambition and desire, this is the campaign you need to be in. If you are interested in environmental

politics this is the campaign you need to be in. If you are interested in what sort of society you have, this is the

campaign that will decide it.”

He conceded that it would be difficult however, “It requires us turning this country around 360 degrees and going in a different direction. All we need to do is lower our emissions by three percent. We can do that but it requires major change.”

Ryan added, “People think of this as an environmental issue but it’s not. This is a social issue, an issue that will decide the lives of hundreds of millions of people on this planet. The solutions will provide a better, fairer, more equal, more functioning, happier, cleaner and sustainable society.”

Curran explained the motivations behind the march to the College Tribune, “This is a General Election year so the government is especially vulnerable at the moment. It’s the perfect opportunity to put pressure on them. Our primary aim was to get everyone here and to get attention but the secondary aim was to get people who care about this issue together and talk about what we want to do, how to expand the campaign and get more people involved.”

4 NEWS

College Tribune 17th April 2007

Shambles

Heavy discount for STI testing

Continued from Page 1 Thousands of students are facing mass delays in receiving their grants next year as legislation that was due to be passed through the Dail this summer to make the system more efficient will not be passed until the next government is in place.

Minister for Education Mary Hanafin declared regarding the bill, “I’ve sent it for legal advice on one issue and I’m hoping to have it published before the Dáil breaks for the election. However, we will be encouraging councils as far as possible to meet the targets.”

The delay involves the supporting legislation of the bill that concerns applications for assistance from students of colleges outside the Republic.

The legislation also proposes to allow students to apply for grants at the same time as they apply to the CAO. They would then submit the form to their local

authority before the usual closing date of August 31st. Doyle stated that he feel that students would benefit from a government information campaign that would explain the system and the importance of applying as early as possible. “ I don’t think that people are aware of the whole grant system until they are in the process of applying for college. If the Department was to launch a campaign informing secondary school students, it would benefit students in the long-term.”

The existing grants system poses problems for UCD students who have experienced difficulties in the past with applications and payments. In certain local authority areas, grant payments often do not arrive until months into the start of the school year, leaving students unable to meet their living expenses.

President of the Union of Students in Ireland Colm Hamrogue was not optimistic about the current situation. “We can’t see how things are going to be any different this year, with all the councils still processing them. If you’re going to fix a problem, you might as well do it right and we don’t believe there will be any major change even by handing it over to the VECs,” he said.

General Secretary of the Irish Vocational Education Association Michael Moriarty stated, “The VECs will need extra staffing to handle the additional work arising when we take over all the grants, but we are working to put systems in place to make the new scheme as efficient as possible when it’s introduced.”

Discount: SU Welfare Officer Barry Colfer

Students’ Union Welfare Officer Barry Colfer has said that there will be a “heavy discount” made available to UCD students seeking STI testing at proposed facilities in Donnybrook.

Colfer is hopeful that a discount will encourage students to seek the very important procedure.

However, Director of the Student Health Service Dr Sandra Tighe has voiced her concern over the proposed plans to make one morning a week in a Donnybrook clinic available exclusively to UCD students for STI screening.

“I think that if students are going to be going anywhere for STI testing, it needs to be done in an appropriate manner.” Tighe went on to emphasise the need for “best practice” in this area, something that she believes could best be achieved in an official STI clinic.

Colfer has responded to these concerns by stating that, “While in an ideal world, everyone could go to St James or to a specific STI clinic, I don’t think there’s any

Caitrina Cody

major issue with going to a GP, where you’d go to with any of your problems.”

Colfer has been vocal throughout the year about the lack of options for students seeking STI testing. At present the Student Health Service is unable to accomodate students on campus and will refer any student concerned about their sexual health to St James Hospital in Kilmainham, where students are not guaranteed to get an appointment.

Colfer has emphasised that there are still some details to be worked out. “The way it stands now is that there’s a clinic in Donnybrook, run by a doctor who also works in the UCD Health Centre.

What hasn’t been finalised yet is the administration side of things.

We have to find out what’s the best way that UCD students can access the service. But the initiative is there, there are people that want this to happen.”

Volunteers honoured

Education Officer: Brian Doyle

The college honoured students who took part in overseas projects with the UCD Volunteers Overseas (UCDVO) charity last Friday evening.

The university hosted a formal ceremony to actively acknowledge the volunteering work performed by almost 70 UCD students in Niger, Delhi and Haiti.

This acknowledgement of the work of the UCDVO forms part of a larger strategy

by the university, under the Vice President for Students, Dr Martin Butler, to support and encourage UCD students to engage in volunteering at local, national and international level.

A new fixed-term post has just been established at the university to manage this student support activity. The title of the post is Manager of the UCD Centre for Service Learning, Community Engagement

Offer ends 30th April

and Volunteering.

The charity is currently run by UCD chaplain Tony Coote, who is also at the centre of the ‘Please Talk’ campaign that is aimed at encouraging students to talk to their peers about their problems.

The campaign is to be re-invigorated in the run-up to exams and there are plans in place to go national with the project in the coming months.

NEWS

College Tribune 17th April 2007

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Up, up and away ● Campus to undergo mass building development ● New Student Centre may contain 50 metre swimming pool The Belfield campus of UCD is to undergo mass physical development over the course of the coming few years.

UCD Head of Buildings Aidan Grannell confirmed to the College Tribune that the plans for the swimming pool in the new Students’ Centre may be increased from 25 metres to 50, depending on the acquisition of government funding.

College authorities have also confirmed plans to build a second crèche to go with the planned extensions of the Student Centre, student residences at Roebuck Hall and the Belfield Bowl.

A spokesperson for UCD confirmed that the plans for the construction of a second crèche are as a result of the fact that the current crèche is running at peak capacity.

The crèche will be funded by a grant from the Department of Equality, Justice and Law Reform and will be located at the Northern Thornfield end of campus.

Grannell explained, The crèche will provide a quiet environment in which children are secure, where social spaces and group activities occur within the building and are also provided in enclosed outdoor spaces where they can move freely within their setting.

Concerns have been raised by residents in the area regarding an increase in traffic levels as a result of the development. The spokesperson for UCD maintained, Students will be coming into UCD at varying times throughout the day so there shouldn t be much of a build-up. Also, most students will approach the crèche from the campus and

Colin Gleeson a lot of them won t be driving.

The spokesperson went on to declare, “As part of the site development, six staff apartments have also been planned, and this should also help to curb any traffic problems.”

The crèche will have a capacity of 60 children and is scheduled for completion, subject to planning, for September 2008.

The college is also planning the completion of an additional 300 units of student accommodation at Roebuck Hall that proposes to see the number of beds available to staff and students on campus rise to 2,700 as the college moves toward a goal of 5,000 beds in the next five years.

Grannell told the College Tribune that the plans are in place as a result of “the strong demand for campus accommodation.”

Located at the Owenstown gate entrance to UCD, the apartment block rises to six floors serviced by lifts and containing a total of 50 apartments, each with six en-suite bedrooms.

It has also been confirmed that the new Student Centre, which is to be an extension of the existing Student Centre, will back into the car park leading to the Health Science building and will be opened by December 2009, subject to planning approval.

Grannell assured that in spite of the extension into the car park, there would

Overhaul: UCD is to undergo mass development be room in the area for the Freshers’ Tent and UCD Ball in future years.

The spokesperson continued, “This development is based on the UCD vision of what constitutes a quality student experience.”

The new Students’ Centre is to be funded by students in the form of an increase in the student levy, as was agreed by a student referendum in 2006.

There are also plans to develop the Belfield Bowl, with the seating capacity of the ground expected to rise from 760

to 1500 people during the first phase of the development.

In addition, a hard surface path will be constructed around the entire playing surface as part of the development, which is to take place this year. This path will have the capacity to accommodate an additional 1500 spectators standing at games.

Toilet facilities will be provided for spectators at the Bowl, as are extra entrances and exit gates with turnstiles.

A control room is to be constructed

this year that will accomodate for sale of sports merchandise and confectionary to spectators in the ground and general public attending games.

The first phase of the project is due for completion in September/October 2007 with working starting this month and due to last for about twenty weeks.

The development will be funded by an allocation of €1.25 million made to UCD in 2006 as part of the DAST annual sports capital grant scheme.

OPINION

A future for USI

Paul Dillon reports back from the Union of Students in Ireland Congress in Bundoran last week Students deserve to know the goings on at last week’s annual congress of Union of Students in Ireland.

The UCD delegation performed admirably throughout the week.

The impartial congress steering committee awarded this college the accolade for best delegation.

UCD students were always present for the debates and always courteous in their conduct. Arts and Human Sciences Programme Officer Paul Lyman won the award for best speech of the congress.

It must be said that not all delegations matched the high standards set by our Students’ Union. As predicted by this column two weeks ago, the congress passed many worthy motions, but proposals for action were few and far between.

Again, the UCD delegation stood out with regard to campaigning zeal. Two emergency motions were put to the floor by UCD and backed by the congress.

One was to back the Students Against Climate Change campaign and another to support the campaign to shut down rogue pregnancy agencies.

Before the opening of congress business, one USI veteran said that the event would be a battle a day. They were right. Much of the debate at the congress was deeply contentious.

Take the motion put to the congress by the Waterford IT Students’ Union. The motion proposed to mandate “The (USI) Welfare Officer to re-establish links with MEAS and work towards promoting safe and sensible drinking amongst students”.

Delegates warned about the dangers of receiving sponsorship from this drink’s industry funded body. One delegate argued that MEAS is a “PR scam, a PR sham”.

Another put forward the case that the department of Health and other pubic bodies ought to take responsibility for funding such campaigns. Despite these concerns, the motion was passed.

The 200 or so delegates were offered a clear choice: to align with big a business or to maintain an independent stance. The delegates chose the former option.

The debate concerning USI’s relationship with SIPTU was the most ideologically charged of the week. The debate concerned the partnership arrangement in place between USI and SIPTU. A motion from Trinity College Students’ Union asked that “USI cease its current relationship with SIPTU” and for the “USI Officer Board to develop relationships with IBEC so that COs (Constituency Organisations) are offered necessary employment rights protection and information”.

The motion also asserted that, “SIPTU often have a different set of interests to COs”. The Trinity SU President proposed this motion.

It was his only appearance on the platform all week.

Delegates pointed out what the Solidarity SIPTU and other trade unions have offered the student movement in the past. They talked about the practical benefits of the relationship for Students in the work place.

A member of the UCD delegation argued that the choice for delegates was to see the Union of Students in Ireland as “a representative organisation, not a business”. Delegates voted to pass the motion, making it very clear where they stood with regard to this choice.

USI’s industrial relations difficulties were mentioned in this column two weeks ago. However, debate on staffing matters was ruled out of order by the standing orders committee that runs the congress. Therefore, the reasons behind USI’s recent appearances at the Labour relations commission were not aired in public during the week.

Despite all of this, USI can still have a bright future. However, for this future potential to be realised, the constituent students unions who make up the organisation needs to adapt the right approach.

USI’s fight against fees – which brought thousands of students out on the streets in 2003 – proved without doubt how useful the organisation can be.

What we need now is a similar campaign on the introduction of fees by stealth and the continued inadequacies of the grant system.

The challenge for the student movement must be to engage with the issues that effect students on the ground, build up a campaigning culture and convince students that change can be brought about if people organise.

There must also be a pivotal role for engagement with issues that concern the place of students in the wider world if the student movement is to realise its full potential.

Paul Dillon is a former President of the Students Union

See ya after Eoin Mac Aodha has been in UCD for far too long and it’s made him cranky. He explains why he’s had enough of our hallowed institution It is customary for the last edition of the College Tribune to contain shamelessly sentimental and self-serving articles from writers who’ve hung around UCD for far too long and are finally forced to leave.

This article will fall into the above category.

In this writer’s six years here UCD has undergone enormous changes. Few positive.

At this stage he’s tired of the place, doesn’t really care anymore what the toy-town revolutionaries in the SU get up to or that Hugh Brady et al are ruining the college.

He’s glad to be gone cos’ to him there’s something rotten to the core of this college.

If he’d written this article a year ago it would have been all about how to change the problems, now he’s not so sure that they can be fixed.

The first major problem is the college’s administration led by Hugh Brady that has turned this university into a brand. Sure Horizons sounds great but the standard of education is slipping with less attention been placed on critical in-depth analysis. Sure the college will refute this but if you talk to lecturers on the ground or students, particularly in first year, the evidence is irrefutable.

When this writer started an Arts degree critical thinking was all it was good for because it sure wouldn’t lead you straight into a job.

But the powers that be are hell bent on turning UCD into a corporation run on profit margins and productivity. That sounds great, appeals to the pragmatists and the business leaders but does nothing for education.

The second major problem is the students.

There’s just a sense of real elitism about UCD particularly in the major societies. It’s not a geographical thing but an extension of the D4 materialistic philosophy. The old adage about the girl coming to UCD in a wooly jumper and a thick Cavan accent and leaving with a transatlantic drawl and blonde highlights rings true.

Obviously people are entitled to treat college as a catwalk and all students don’t have to be scruffy but the air around the college is one of pure affluence. Dirty new money displayed ostentatiously. The thing about Ireland is that we’re pretty much an island of new

money, go back a generation or two and many of our forefathers were dirt poor.

In the shake up we’ve lost our humility.

It’s not too long since there were no jobs in the country and most of us would be off to America, Australia and England. Instead we’re sneering at the Polish engineer who’s making our sandwiches because he doesn’t speak in a fake nasal accent.

On top of this we’re not engaging with real issues, highlighted by the most lackluster SU elections this writer has ever seen.

Everything seems to be about the CV. From getting involved with societies, doing volunteer work or in some cases running for sabbatical election. We’ve all become obsessed with careers and now see college as just a preparation for that forty year slog.

This probably sounds like a bitter and twisted rant by someone with a grievance against

still looked the same, C&E ruled the roost and people still couldn’t explain why they joined the L&H even after they knew it was crap.

Lawsoc gave out the best concessions and you could get a drink in the Palace from mondaythursday for £1.50.

He cried a little when word reached him in Portugal that summer that the Palace was closed for refurbishments. His second year was in the best of boozy traditions. Long enough in the place to have made friends and not long enough to have the specter of finals.

Wise enough to have brought home enough absinthe to cause liver cirrhosis several times over. Experienced enough to realise that a couple of shots could make even Fireworks seem bearable.

He reached the zenith of his sporting prowess when he won the Superleague Saturday Premier with The Feejits and shamelessly plugged his own team in his Superleague article for this paper. He even refereed a bit and was almost lynched when he turned down a penalty claim and the wronged team found out he knew their opposition.

His third year was a bit trickier what with finals and all that but saw his debut for the College Tribune. He made up for that during his two hour a week Masters where a job with Services allowed him to be paid for his hangovers, write his thesis and organise a film section for the paper based on a non-existent knowledge of that humble art.

By his fifth year he had enough. Most of his friends were now gone. The job of editing this fine paper kept him busy however and instilled enough indingnancy in him to keep him going.

During his last year he flitted in and out as he attempted a column for this paper and used the library to study for his FE1’s. By now he’d definitely had enough.

Now he’s yet another student who’s stayed too long, forced to skulk off quietly, with no fanfare, no party and no carriage clock for services rendered. He’s not bitter though, he’s just had enough.

"The old adage about the girl coming to UCD in a wooly jumper and a thick Cavan accent and leaving with a transatlantic drawl and blonde highlights rings true" the college. It’s not as this writer’s nothing to be bitter about. He got six great years out of the place, got a degree and a masters and a year editing the paper.

Possibly it’s because he cares a little too much. Possibly it’s because he feels that UCD has great potential but that it’s been led down the wrong track.

He’s tired and he’s seen too much. On the day he started Osama Bin Laden had just become a household name, his Politics lectures were so full people sat on the steps and some girl ‘allegedly’ gave the DJ a blowjob in the bar.

Nobody had a laptop and we were asked to read books instead of notes on blackboard or UCD connect.

B&L was just a whippersnapper of a society, although if he remembers correctly all the girls

Eoin Mac Aodha used to be a UCD student and used to edit the College Tribune. Not anymore.

EDITORIAL

College Tribune 17th April 2007

LETTERS

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Box 74, Student Centre & LG 18, Newman Building, Dublin 4 Telephone: 01 - 7168501 E-mail: tribune@campus.ie The College Tribune reserves the right to edit all letters. The views expressed on this page are the views of the letter writers and do not reflect the views of the College Tribune.

Letter from the editor As is traditional with the last edition of the College Tribune under current editorship, I would like to take this opportunity to thank those who have made the newspaper what it has been over the past year.

There have been few teams during my time involved with this newspaper that have displayed the commitment, team-work and ability of this year’s editorial team.

From varying positions of experience last September, everybody on the team took on what was an extremely challenging goal of introducing a colour supplement to the newspaper and worked tirelessly towards the single goal of moving from strength to strength after each and every edition of the newspaper. And such is a credit to every one of them.

The team; Tara Phelan, Matthew Parkinson-Bennett, Ben Blake, Hugh Fowler, Caitrina Cody, Barra O’Fianail

Grants

and Simon Ward; have performed above and beyond the call of duty many times throughout the year.

I would like to pay special tribute to Simon Ward who has been the steady right hand of this newspaper for many a year now, who has put the newspaper before all other commitments on countless occasions and has worked tirelessly out of a love for the College Tribune that is matched by few.

I would also like to thank all the contributors who wrote articles and took photographs throughout the year.

I hope that the experience has been as rewarding for you as it has been for me and that you continue to involve yourselves in years to come.

Editors emeritus Daniel McDonnell, Peter Lahiff, Peter McGuire and particularly Eoin Mac Aodha have provided invaluable and much needed support through good times and bad.

Michael and Colette Gleeson must

be mentioned also for their support and advice throughout the year.

Other special mentions go out to Hugh Doherty for his expert legal advice, Stephen Foster and the rest of the crew in Spectator Newspapers, columnists Eoin Mac Aodha (again) and Paul Dillon, Dominic Martella and Eilis O’Brien in Communications, and of course all the friends of the College Tribune who make it so worthwhile.

Finally, I would like to thank all who picked up the paper and decided to have a gander at any stage throughout the year. I genuinely hope that we brought something different to the table, that people enjoyed the paper and that we did some good on the issues that matter.

It’s been fun.

Kindest Regards, Colin Gleeson

MAKE THE PAPER

Applications are invited for: Deputy Editor:

Arts Editor:

The Deputy Editor will be expected to deputise for the Editor whenever they may be unavailable. He or she will be responsible for working with the Editor to ensure the smooth running of the newspaper and will be expected to read all articles to ensure a high standard. He or she will also be required to attend production weekends every second week, where there could be highly unsociable working hours.

Charged with the maintenance of a section that will include books and film. Will be expected to ensure that there is at least one book review and four film reviews in every edition of the paper. Will be expected to ensure that there is a small selection of theatre reviews and café/restaurant reviews in the section over the year. Also must ensure that are sufficient interviews and features throughout the section.

Advertising Manager:

Sports Editor:

The advertising manager will be responsible for seeking advertisements to fund the newspaper. It is a position that would be incredibly beneficial to anybody looking to follow Marketing as a career path. This will involve part-time work during the summer and throughout the academic year. The work entailed can be carried out from the College Tribune office where all phone calls will be paid for.

Responsible for organising the Sports Section. This involves researching upcoming events and matches while liaising with the Sports Office. Also expected to obtain sufficient interviews, while compiling sports features and news.

Design Team: Knowledge of Quark/Adobe Indesign is beneficial but full training will be provided. The Design Editor will be responsible for designing the newspaper. It is a position that would be extremely advantageous to anyone interested in a career in Graphic Design. The College Tribune has won awards in the past for Layout and Design and the work would provide excellent experience in this area. All interested applications are encouraged.

News Editor: Responsible for researching, delegating and structuring the news section in conjunction with the Editor. The News Editor should be curious about the college and the way it functions. It will be necessary to investigate and explore all potential news stories, and to prepare a bank of smaller stories in the case of a bigger story falling through. It will also be essential for the News Editor to attend Student Union Council every week.

Features Editor: The Features Editor is charged with devising and suggesting original and innovative articles. Is required to research articles and talk to the relevant people when writing articles. Regular meetings with contributors are also a critical component of the Features section.

Music Editor: Responsible for distributing albums for review, obtaining interviews and compiling interesting features in the section. Will work in conjunction with the relevant record companies.

Editorial

Health and Fashion Editor: Charged with providing the section with new and interesting health and fashion articles for every issue of the newspaper. An interest in fashion would be helpful. Topics should be related to students.

Photo Editor: Responsible for obtaining photographs for the newspaper. Will be expected to work in conjunction with the Design Editor.

The College Tribune would also welcome anybody who wishes to take photographs. This is an excellent opportunity for candidates to build a portfolio and gain excellent experience.

The Editorial Team is a crucial component of the paper and all members will be expected to attend fortnightly Editorial meetings. All positions provide excellent experience and portfolio opportunities. The College Tribune is a proven stepping-stone towards a career in journalism and the national press. All members will be in charge of filling the pages of their respective section and will be expected to voice an opinion on all sections of the paper in order to ensure progression. Candidates interested in all positions should send their applications, which should include a short proposal of ideas they have for their position plus an attached portfolio of previous work to the address below, or alternatively drop into the College Tribune Office beside the Trap in the basement of the Arts Block. Closing date for all applications is Friday June 8th at 5pm. All applicants will be interviewed.

Caitrina Cody Mailbox 74 Students Centre

The revelation that thousands of UCD students are once again facing delays in receiving their grant payments next September is disappointing.

The Students’ Union has this year worked toward eradicating the grant problems that seem to plague students during the first semester of every academic year.

This most recent development is a real blow to students all over the country. It was thought that the scenes of protests at the Dun Laoghaire Rathdown County Council headquarters last year could be a thing of the past, but little is assured from here on in.

Students, at this time of the year in particular, have enough on their plates without worrying about financial straitjackets that should be taken care of by the County Councils.

The situation that materialised at the start of this year with regard to grants was lamentable.

Some students were left waiting until January before their grants appeared. This is simply unacceptable.

It is important that both the outgoing and incoming Education Officers strive to ensure that disruption for students seeking their grants in September is kept to an absolute minimum.

If the students of this college are faced with a similar situation to that which the students of recent years have faced, it is likely that County Councils will be locking their front doors as students prepare to march once again.

Climate Change The past fortnight has seen some remarkably progressive action from the Students’ Union of this college, not least with regard to the demonstration for climate change that took place outside the Department of the Environment last Friday.

The environment is a critical issue that has been overlooked time and time again by governments all over the world. It is refreshing to see that the Students’ Union is highlighting the issue that is, without doubt, everybody’s problem.

The problem is not one that can physically be seen in front of people, and as such, it is not prioritised as it should be.

The government has now been put under pressure to act in the run-up to this year’s General Election and one can only hope that this pressure may tell when manifestos are developed in the coming months.

The Students’ Union has been visible on the ground level, around the concourse and among the students, with regard to this issue, and these are the sorts of campaigns that are constructive, relevant to everybody and can make a real difference.

In other news, the Students’ Union have launched a campaign whereby there will be an SU officer present in every faculty in UCD at a certain period of time over the course of the coming few weeks in order to deal with personal and academic problems that students may have.

8 NEWS

College Tribune 17th April 2007

It's getting hot in here Katie Gilroy examines a recent intergovernmental on Climate Change and asks Green Party TD Ciaran Cuffe what changes must be made to cool the rise of global warming Human beings are the main culprits of the global warming catastrophe we now face, is the harsh message the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change delivered in their fourth Assessment Report, released on 6 April.

The report has given the world “a glimpse into an apocalyptic future” in the words of one Greenpeace representative. Some countries will be more harmed by climate change than others, but the fight against the environmental destruction which we have inflicted upon ourselves must be unanimous.

Involving more than 2,500 scientific experts from over 130 nations, the report warns of the grave repercussions of global warming which will be evident in our lifetime if immediate action is not taken.

Two billion of the world’s population will experience increased water scarcity, the IPCC report published in Brussels predicts, and a number of animal and plant species will be threatened by extinction.

In addition, floods could affect at least 100 million people across the globe within the next 75 years due to rising sea levels and increased tropical storm and hurricane activity.

During the course of the week in Brussels, representatives from approximately 200 countries contributed to the final draft of the summary of the document. Agenda-driven politicians were intent on diluting the report.

Chinese and Saudi Arabian officials tried to reduce the scientific confidence level about already noticeable effects of global warming from 90 per cent to 80 per cent.

Other disputes arose between scientists who had estimated that “hundreds of millions” would be vulnerable to flooding under certain scenarios, but the final report says “many millions”.

The prospects for developing countries appear particularly bleak. Some of the earth’s poorest regions, which in many cases are the least responsible for the atmospheric build-up of greenhouse gases, lack the necessary financial resources to adapt. Africa is feared to be the hardest hit.

If temperatures continue to rise, (the global average temperature has already risen by approximately 0.7° C since preindustrial levels) water shortages could affect as many as 250 million Africans by 2020, as well as reducing yields from rain-fed agriculture by half. India and China would witness a substantial

drop in the production of maize, rice and wheat.

Coastal cities in developed countries like the US are at risk of flooding but poorer parts of the world such as South and East Asia, as well as Africa, are most susceptible. Their conditions are exacerbated by growing human populations and pressures. It is possible that many low-lying areas and islands will be uninhabitable within this century.

However, nearly all European regions can also expect to be affected negatively by some future impacts of climate change and these will pose challenges to many economic sectors.

Negative impacts will include increased inland and coastal flooding, coastal erosion, glacier retreat, reduced snow cover and extensive species loss.

Southern Europe can look ahead to heat, drought and decreased water availability.

Under the Kyoto Protocol, Ireland has agreed to limit its greenhouse gas emissions by thirteen per cent above 1990 levels by the first commitment period 2008-2012. Ireland ratified the Kyoto Protocol on the 31 May 2002 along with the EU and all Member States in a bid to tackle the problem of global warming.

Each country is internationally legally bound to reach their specific reduction target.

"We're spending six times as much money on roads as we are on public transport. That's clearly not a green solution" So, what changes must be made in order to achieve this goal?

In the past, it has been said that the current government has ‘deliberately ignored’ the issue of climate change.

“For the last twenty years, depending on when environmental issues were in the spotlight, Fianna Fáil has talked the talk of green issues, but they haven’t walked the walk”, says Green Party T.D. Ciarán Cuffe.

“For instance, we’re spending six times as much money on roads as we are on public transport. That’s clearly

Ciaran Cuffe: Feeling the heat

not a green solution”.

As well as putting more money into public transport, Cuffe believes that tightening up the building regulations would be beneficial to the environment. But these are just two examples of where “the Greens are at odds with Fíanna Fáil” according to Cuffe.

He revealed that, “Just recently the building councilors in Dun Laoghaire dramatically improved the energy regulations by 40 per cent, but Dick Roche wrote a letter to the county council saying that this would be onerous if they proceeded with it”.

As regards to road vehicles, the Green Party is suggesting that the VRT tax of a car should reflect “the cradle to grave environmental cost of the vehicle”. So that drivers of efficient cars such as the Smart Car, like Cuffe himself, will pay less tax than owners of more pollutant S.U.V.s. Additionally, the party would replace the road tax with a levy on fuel.

Investigating renewable energy is a definite intention of the Greens. By 2020 the party would like to see half of the country’s total energy needs being provided by renewable energy. “There’s about two dozen forms of renewable energy in Europe, in Ireland we’re only tapping the top of about six of those forms”, Cuffe explains.

Wind and ocean energy, as well as bio-crops are just some natural alternatives to oil that are readily available to us, yet the government is simply

not taking advantage of these.

While establishing renewable energy systems is a priority for the Green Party, Cuffe emphasises the value of insulation and energy efficiency. Although he says this is one of their “less sexy

"Building councillors in Dun Laoghaire dramatically improved the energy regulations, but Dick Roche said that this would be onerous if they proceeded with it" priorities” it can make a significant difference.

“We all tend to be absorbed by the windmills and solar panels end of renewable energy, but in fact, simply increasing insulation has huge potential for reducing energy costs” Cuffe urges.

“It doesn’t have the panache or the snazziness of driving your Toyota Prius,” he admits, but he believes that is the one area with great potential that is deserving of more attention.

Buying organic is another way of

doing our bit for the environment, as well as continuing to recycle using our green bins. Despite the frequent claims that Ireland’s plastic bag tax is ‘environmental nonsense’, Cuffe believes that it has concentrated the minds of the Irish public on reducing the amount of materials they dispose of.

Replacing plastic bags with paper is not a solution in his opinion but he does applaud the initiative of the re-usable green bags that has worked well.

With a goal of cutting carbon emissions by 3 per cent per year for the next decade, the Green Party is confronting the reality of climate change with a sense of urgency.

“The economists, the scientists, they’re all agreeing that this needs to be tackled really quickly” says Cuffe, “Can we do three percent? It won’t be easy, but I think we can. It means a crash course in insulation; it means dramatically improving the building regulations before the end of this year.

If the Greens are in government we’ll try and do that.”

Whether it is leaving the car at home on some days and cycling to work, or making an effort to switch the television off, global warming must be recognised as a current threat, not a potential one.

A third report will be released next month highlighting measures that must be taken to minimise the blow of climate change on the earth’s humanity.

NEWS

College Tribune 17th April 2007

9

Surviving on Burma's border

Treasa de Loughry recounts her recent visit to the refugee camp of Mae La, and Mae Sot town, on the Thai-Burmese Border During my stay in Bangkok and Mae Sot, I recognized the immigration police by their gold helmets, riot shields, and vans, as they organised groups of refugees to be deported in sporadic crackdowns.

Phil Thornton, a journalist living on the Thai-Burmese border gives this account of Mae Sot in his book ‘Restless Souls’, “Border towns have a restless edge, and Mae Sot is no exception.

“It is not unusual to see armoured personnel carriers moving troops through the crowded streets to border checkpoints.

Dark-green helicopters hover overhead.

Pick-up trucks with tinted windows hide drivers and passengers from scrutiny.”

Located in the North West of Thailand, on the Thai-Burma border, Mae Sot is a town with a strange, tense energy dominating the atmosphere. At a glance it seems like another Burmese influenced Thai town: dusty roads, chaotic driving, ramshackle buildings and the dry oppressive heat of hot season overwhelm the senses.

But Mae Sot is dependent on corruption and exploitation of illegal workers.

As Thornton notes, “It is a bustling border town that owes much of its wealth to smuggling. Burmese gems, teak, antiquities, drugs, and people are all available for a price. The town itself appears unremarkable, but beneath its surface a dark heart beats.”

Thailand has not signed the 1951 Convention on the Status of Refugees which notes that States are prohibited from returning a refugee to any area “where his life or freedom would be threatened on account of his race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular social group or political opinion.”

Deportation is a common occurrence in Mae Sot, as refugees from Burma who exist outside of one of the nine refugee camps on the border are given an illegal status.

With an abundance of eyewitness accounts of rape, torture, forced labour, murder, and forced relocation among refugees; the deportation of asylum seekers into the hands of the Burmese government contravenes international opinion regarding the treatment of refugees. But the refugees of Thailand are frequently used as political pawns.

Luckily, in Mae Sot, any refugees that are deported are often shepherded across what is known as the Friendship Bridge instead of being given into the hands of the Burmese government. This a connecting bridge between Mae Sot and Burma.

Many refugees return to Thailand the next day, either crossing the bridge, or by simply by walking across the Moei River which separates the two countries. On my visit to Thailand I witnessed how easy it was to cross illegally into either country by simply crossing over a remote bamboo bridge.

Another option for refugees fleeing into Thailand is to go to one of the nine refugee camps along the ThaiBurma border, which altogether house nearly 150,000 refugees.

The nearest camp to Mae Sot is that of Mae La. It is the largest refugee camp on the Thai-Burma border, with the latest TBBC (Thai-Burma Border Consortium)

report from February 2007 estimating that 49,476 people live in the camp.

The camp is a large sprawling town of bamboo and wood huts that sprawls precariously up the side of a mountain. It is surrounded by barbed wire fences, and at the entrance gates Thai guards keep watch. Along the edge of the camp there are numerous checkpoints.

These have become a common feature of life in Thailand following the military coup last year. The military have established checkpoints throughout the country and frequently stop vehicles to check the identification of the passengers. Those without ID, such as illegal immigrants, are subject to deportation or arrest, limiting the free movement of immigrants in Thailand.

Along with the restriction of movement, the refugees are not permitted to build permanent structures in the camps. This is due to the Thai government’s policy of viewing the camps as temporary structures, until the strife in Burma calms down, or halts completely whereupon the refugees will be sent back.

The Burma Human Rights Yearbook 2005 notes, “Most homes and buildings are assembled with materials that are obtained locally, such as bamboo and wood. Most homes are not durable and suffer from damage each rainy season.

Deforestation of areas surrounding the camps has become an increasing source of tension for the Thai authorities and forestry services.”

Materials such as bamboo and wood are often obtained locally, resulting in the Thai government accusing refugees of illegal logging. Following damage to the huts in rainy season, the community engages in mass construction and repair works during hot season, when the schools are empty and before the start of the rains again.

Refugee camps are often derided as encouraging dependency among the refugees, due to their lack of self-sufficiency. An example of this dependency is the way in which relief organizations provide 100% of the staple dietary needs of the inhabitants.

This was not always the case: previously refugees were able to leave the camp to grow vegetables, and forage for plants to eat and sell. But due to the

blended fish food paste providing the refugees with their daily food. Refugees are allotted 55-70 baht, or €1-€1.40 a month per family to spend on food.

With too many carbohydrates in their diets, and by sharing rations with illegal refugees the TBBC has concluded that most refugees suffer from chronic malnutrition.

Yet, on my visit to the camp, I was amazed at the generosity of the refugees who provided me with several bowls of traditional food of vegetables, eggs, meat and rice from which to choose.

As Thornton declares, “It (Mae La) is overcrowded and the bamboo huts resemble a shanty, but the will to survive among the people overrides all else they have to battle. Hospitality shown to strangers is humbling.”

The refugees in Mae La are primarily from the Karen region of Burma, which is located in the West, along the Thai-Burma border, and are one of the largest ethnic minority groups in Burma with a population of three to four million people.

The majority of registered refugees in the nine camps are Karen, with an esti-

mated 120,000 out of 150,000 refugees in camps being Karen.

My purpose in visiting the camp was to attend a closing ceremony for the Further Studies Programme (FSP) in the camp. Due to the limited opportunities for high school graduates to pursue a university level education, programmes

“It is not unusual to see armoured personnel carriers moving troops through the crowded streets to border checkpoints. Darkgreen helicopters hover overhead"

"Buildings are assembled with materials that are obtained locally, such as bamboo and wood. Most homes are not durable and suffer from damage each rainy season"

Thai governments crackdown on freedom of movements the refugees have had no choice but to become increasingly more dependant on rations.

This dependency has resulted in poorer nutritional health in the community with rice, yellow beans, salt, oil, and a

like that of FSP allow students to study subjects like English, maths, science, and social studies at a more challenging level.

Following the completion of the course at age twenty, students can take further courses, with the majority even-

tually becoming involved in teaching, or community work.

The importance of education is stressed among the community. With so few opportunities for refugees, education offers young people practical skills, and potentially different futures.

It also reverses the trend towards a brain drain, with many former student activists, and university educated graduates choosing to resettle in foreign countries such as Norway, Australia and America.

Education reinstates the youth with leadership, teaching and management skills that keeps the community strong and imbues the next generation with hope for future change.

Among my peers at the closing ceremony, this strength was evident as they joked constantly, took photographs, giggled, and whispered.

Their future, and that of Burma, is uncertain. But with such an emphasis on working together, and being a strong community, the people retain their pride.

As Thornton notes, “The Karen I met in the camps had pride, not because they’re proud of where they are, but because of who they are.”

10 FEATURES

College Tribune 17th April 2007

Reeling in the

The academic year of 2006/07 is finally drawing to a close and what a year it has been. Action-packed protests, angry students, hold-ups at gunpoint and blazing fires; who could have wished for more.

Clockwise from top-left, we here at the College Tribune have compiled the year in photographs.

Firstly, there was Dutch student Nienke van Etten whose degree got cancelled. Harsh.

Then, there was the infamous Shell to Sea demonstrations that have made national news on more than one occasion throughout the academic year, and can be seen here at Shell Headquarters in the City Centre.

Next up is the Admin blaze that will cost the college a million euro in damages. Should have bought a smoke alarm.

Don't forget the cheeky monkeys who decided to

College Tribune 17th April 2007

year

FEATURES 11

12 FEATURES

College Tribune 17th April 2007

A champion rooting

World famous poker player Padraig Parkinson speaks to Colin Gleeson about the mind of a player, rooting for the underdog and seeing Martin Cahill before he cased the Merrion Club He is sinking down in his armchair. He into the toilets and slip the guy ten bucks a little hope. Or some belief in their fellow has to stretch and then lean forward to when there’s nobody looking,” explains man.” One for the underdog. reach his drink. The smell of perfume is Parkinson, “Even though the ten bucks to Parkinson is renowned as one of the fina little overpowering as he takes a sip. your man will go a lot farther than the ten est poker players in the world. He finished The bar in the Las Vegas casino is full bucks that the cocktail waitress got. The third in the World Series of Poker in 1999 of women with white purses and jew- Mexican in the toilet will probably go home and is among the favourites for every comelry that could feed a small country. The and bring another relative across the bor- petition he enters. men stand tall. Dressed elegantly, they der,” he jokes.

Today, he is in the Burlington Hotel for are buying all the drinks.

“I became a hero with the toilet clean- the Irish Open. He is an hour away from But Irishman and world-famous poker- ers. I mean all the Mexicans love me. They competing in the tournament that, outside king Padraig Parkinson is just observ- appreciated getting something when they of the World Series, is closest to his heart. ing. A fish out of water, some might say. weren’t used to getting anything. So they He strolls into the bar with a bottle of luThe lights inside are blinding cozade, dressed in his typical black and the noise is a muddle leather jacket and jeans. of screaming slot machines, why the United game isn’t "Places like Las Vegas are onHetheaskstelevision. clinking coins and loud boastApparently, they ing. can’t find the channel and Parkinson absolutely stinking and it's He notices the men throwisn’t happy. He sits down and we like we beat the system ing money around left, right exchange pleasantries. He recounts and centre. “Las Vegas works because we gave something the story about Las Vegas and it becomes clear that Parkinson has that on tipping, there’s this whole to the guys who were streak in him that is a part of being tip economy,” he explains now Irish. That love for the underdog. in hindsight. “The cocktail supposed to get fucked" “It is an Irish thing; it’s in all of us. waitresses are getting 800 I love the underdog, I always bet on dollars a night in tips.”

The vulgar display of wealth in front were always asking whenever there was a the underdog and I always root for the unof him is a veneer for something else, tournament on, ‘Is the Irish guy playing?’ I derdog. I used to like being the underdog and Parkinson is not comfortable with it. had the whole place rooting for me. They but I’ve lost that mantle now.

“But you’re sitting around a table at “There’s a lot of ostentatious tipping goes reckon now that every time the World on, with guys giving the cocktail waitress- Championship comes around, there’s little these big tournaments and there’s a big es big tips because he likes to be seen to candles lit in little villages all over Mexico. guy from Malibu with all the chips sitting “Then in 2002, I came fourth in the beside some guy who’s gotten in for two be the big fella.”

Welcome to Las Vegas. In the bath- World Championship, so we did the same quid off the Internet and he’s just been rooms, the Vegas casinos have hired Mexi- thing again and went to tip the toilet thrown out of his hotel room that morncan men and women to clean the toilets. cleaners. So, we gave the money to the ing.” He starts to laugh, “You know, the pro To pick up the cigarette butts that litter supervisor of the toilet cleaners and he’d has got to win here but if you’ve got any the casino floors. Parkinson sits up in his never seen so much money in his life, so heart, you’ve got to start hoping that the armchair and looks to Scott Gray who’s instead of giving everybody fifty bucks, he other guy will get lucky.”

Parkinson is old school. You might exwent and did a runner with the lot. It actuseated beside him.

“Let’s beat the system,” he declares. ally summed up the guy’s life, he’s worked pect to have a pint with him even now, “There are all these guys cleaning the his way up to manager of the toilets and just an hour away from his second biggest toilets and picking up cigarette butts and then he’s done a runner with the whole tournament of the year. But it’s just lucozade in front of him. Things weren’t always getting treated like shit. Nobody ever gives lot,” he laughs.

“It just seemed like the right thing to this way however, “I broke every rule in the them anything. Let’s tip the guys nobody else tips.” And so, Parkinson left a 5,000 do. Places like Las Vegas are absolutely book,” he explains.

“But now that I’ve got a little bit of dollar tip for the toilet cleaners in a Las stinking and it’s like we beat the system because we gave something to the guys sense – I mean I was liable to turn up after Vegas casino.

“There’s no guy going to go who were supposed to get fucked, if only being out of bed only a few hours, waltz in and sit down with a pint and say ‘right, off

we go’ – but nowadays you have to take it playing with a guy I’ve never seen be seriously. but I know this guy has probably re “I haven’t had a drink since January ninth few books, I have a big hand and I’ve s – at eleven thirty-four,” he adds laughing. “I all my chips down and the guy is lookin go for a walk everyday and I won’t have a me, I’ll probably do something like this drink now until after the World Champion- explains placing his hand over his mou ships in July, and then I’ll go down and get “Because I know that this guy has pissed at the Galway races. somewhere in chapter two in the boo “But you have to these days – I mean tells that if a fella covers his mouth, tournaments used to last two days, you lying, and the guy will call. Now at could go in and play and stay up all night and muddle through the final day and that was it – but now “The funny thing i these tournaments last four and five days, you’re playing for thirthat when the hairs teen and fourteen hours a day. a guy's neck at the e “You don’t have to be an athlete but you’ve got to have some level of the table move, m of fitness. You’re going to have to of the guys around t dig deep at some stage. You’re faced with a decision every twentable will have seen ty minutes that could kill you.”

He explains that the cards on the table and the mathematics have very level, some of those things work, but w little to do with poker when you reach a you’re playing against the professio professional level. “You’re watching what’s everybody’s read the books and ev going on all the time. I mean any idiot can body’s sending out false tells. learn the maths or read the books or go “Sometimes you just get a messag through all the stuff on the Internet and your brain, ‘there’s something wrong h get to a certain level, but the real skill on Now, you might have absolutely no poker is all about getting inside the other what it is, but your mind has taken guy’s head. it’s subconscious.

“Even subconsciously, from the moment “But something has happened in you start meeting players on the morning sequence, maybe the way the guy m of the tournament, you’re trying to work – I don’t know what it is most of the out their mental state. You’re getting in- – but you get this message to your formation after every hand. The mentality that there’s something wrong and of players around the table changes every times out of ten, it works. time a pot is won. But if a guy comes up “That’s the real test. And the o to you during a game and asks you how a ten percent of the time, it’s usually certain guy is feeling now, and you can’t something has happened, but for a get pretty close, you’re fucked. It’s all about ferent reason. Maybe the guy has go mind-games. agitated because his coffee hasn’t ar “The best tells are the subcon- and you’re getting the same break in scious tells. If I’m pattern.

FEATURES 13

College Tribune 3rd April 2007

g for the underdog

a poker

“The funny thing is that when the hairs on a guy’s neck at the end of the table move, most of the guys around the table will have seen it,” he adds.

Parkinson resides in Paris with his partner. She is most probably driven demented every time Parkinson finishes in a tournament. You can’t bullshit a poker player. His personality and life in Paris has very much been shaped by the game he plays.

“A poker player is probably way more cynical than most people and can spot a liar quicker than most people do. You go through so many ups and downs and there’s so many turns and twists. The impossible is happening every twenty minutes; it kind of changes your viewpoint of what’s going on around you.

“If you’re hanging around with a group of guys that are doing this all the time, they’re analysing life-situations from a poker-decision-making point of view. It actually works quite well in a lot of cases efore because the essence of getting inside a ad a guy’s head in poker is that you discard stuck all the bullshit and you try and get to the ng at truth of the matter.

“So, when you get a poker player analyss,” he ing a political situation or what to have for uth. read dinner, he’s using the poker-playing techok of niques to come up with the answer and he’s they tend to get it right. You probably get that a different viewpoint on things, and a better idea of the likelihood of things happening.

“You know the average person is thinks something is either likely or unlikely, the poker player is thinking s on ‘well if it can happen, you’re going to end get fucked’. You’re whole way of livand thinking changes. You take most ing life a lot less seriously; you probthe ably get a lot more flippant about things.” it" He pauses and the interview is interrupted momentarily. A woman when leans over toward the table and enters onals, the conversation. She asks Parkinson if very- he’s seen her husband. “He was last seen standing over there eight and a half minge to utes ago,” he answering precisely. “Eight here’. and a half minutes ago?” she asks with a idea puzzled smile. “Yeah that’s right,” says Parover, kinson without a flicker. That’s the mindset of a poker player.

The Irishman is very much a man of that moved the people. He has been around for a long time time, and is frank about his views and exbrain periences in the casinos of Dublin and the nine rest of the world. He recounts one experience of seeing Martin Cahill in the Merrion other Casino in Dublin.

“Martin Cahill was in the Merrion Club that a dif- one night; he came in to case the place. otten He was in playing Black Jack one night rrived and amazingly enough, the guys playn the ing Black Jack got held up two nights later.

“I didn’t know he was going to go and shoot Veronica Guerin, but this guy who was running a game there came over to us anyway and he says to us that there’s a guy across the room smoking a cigarette and what should he do about it. I say to him to go over and tell him to put it out. And he says to me, ‘But it’s The Monk’s brother’. So I said, ‘Well then give him an ashtray,’” he laughs.

“But I was just playing upstairs and somebody came over and said to me ‘The General’s downstairs.’ It was nothing to do with me but he’d obviously worked out who carried the money because they were held up at gunpoint two nights later.”

Parkinson also recounts a favourite story of his that, in many ways, sums up his character, “George Best came into a bar one night and he was fairly sober. He came up to the bar but this barman thought he was going to be the big man who was going to tell George he couldn’t have a drink. But George was a complete gentleman and walked out. Next thing you know, everybody else puts their glasses down and followed him out. He cleared the whole pub.

“It was nice, one for the under-dog,” he adds with a smile.

14 FEATURES

College Tribune 17th April 2007

Grabbing the bull by the horns

Matthew Parkinson-Bennett recalls his visit to the annual fiesta of Sanfermines in the Basque country and experiences the bull-fighting that is part of the event Each morning from 7-14 July every year in the Basque city of Pamplona, a route is fencedoff along the cobblestoned streets. A large crowd gathers in the narrow channels thus formed.

Nervous tourists hop from foot to foot and

glance at the faces of the gathered spectators on the heavy wooden fences, wondering if they might be the last eyes to ever see them alive.

Policemen push over-eager spectators back with long black batons. Relaxed locals stand in groups, dressed all in white save a red belt, sash and neckerchief, and browse the morning’s newspaper.

A gunshot cracks the warm air.

The tourists break a sweat and assume a sprinter’s starting pose.

The locals roll their papers into baton-shapes, suitable for swatting the noses of the huge, charging bulls, whose hooves’ rumble roars into the air at the sound of a second shot.

This is the organised, televised, traditional madness that begins each day of the Sanfermines fiesta.

In his novel, Fiesta or The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemmingway tells the story of a group of Americans who travel to the small city to observe, ponder, and most importantly, wholeheartedly participate in the annual fe s t iva l ; which i n cl u d e s e a c h evening a series of bullfights. “Nobody ever lives their life all the way up except bullfighters”, concludes his protagonist.

Eager to get a glimpse of, and maybe myself experience, what Hemmingway portrays as a combined mass binge and collective life-affirmation, I travelled to the Basque city last summer.

Upon my arrival on the first day of the fiesta, I was disappointed to see rows of stalls selling tshirts, and to hear English words in the air. Just another commercialised, tourist-ruined tradition, I presumed. Yet the deeper I penetrated the city the more I became aware of an atmosphere different to any I had experienced before.

Fat, moustached men in winedrenched white shirts dozed on benches in the blistering afternoon sun. Groups of young people passed plastic glasses around and beamed at each other and everybody else.

Everywhere, the uniquely carefree mood of those who risked their lives before breakfast dominated; not influenced by the tourists who gazed about in bemusement and muttered “crazy, crazy bastards” to each other.

It is not only the bullfighters, but everybody in town that lives their lives to the most extreme degree during the fiesta.

This reckless abandonment to simply celebrating one’s continued existence underneath the sun, expressed for the most part by the quaffing of large amounts of red wine, as well as occasional bouts of dancing behind the brass bands which march incessantly through the streets playing a limited number of traditional tunes with an unlimited level of gusto, soon infects the outsiders.

Before long it seems that the only sensible thing to do is carouse all day with strangers, before bedding down in a park or on a bench in the still-warm night-time.

Rooms in hostels and hotels are both scarce and expensive during the fiesta, but all patches of green are thronged with passed-out partiers at all hours, while the partying itself also knows no norms of time.

The cheaper of two ticket options got me into a section of the bullfighting arena (also the end point of the bullrunning) where I found a new level of organised chaos. Here, nobody was an onlooker.

As costumed matadors slew great beautiful beasts below us, a giant friendly fight took place in this stand.

Locals armed with water guns filled with vodka and a yellow dye destroyed each other’s white suits; those around me, seeing I was unprepared for battle, handed me the fruit from their basins of sangria to throw. Inevitably, there were those who transgressed the tacitly agreed line of acceptable behaviour. But when they did, the crowd as one acted to protect their right to fun.

Similarly, down on the arena floor after the morning running, when young bullocks without horns are released into the gathered crowd to run amongst the scattering people, anybody guilty of striking the animals receives retribution in kind from everybody within arms reach.

Pamplona is an old, heavily traditional Catholic town. The locals are still quite wary of foreigners, although they are usually eager to embrace you if they discover you are Irish. The Basques are themselves in the process of struggling for independence from Spain, and it’s usually easier not to try to correct the predominant, romantic vision of the IRA as heroic freedomfighters.

The sheer anarchic energy of Sanfermines is the reality that more recently conceived, commercially-driven music festivals strive for, but more often than not fall far short of.

FEATURES 15

College Tribune 17th April 2007

Undiscovered comic book classics R.E. Silvera explores the world of comics little known in the English-speaking world, which are considered classics in their own countries Enthusiasts of the comic book genre, it is said, have never had it this good.

Alongside your admittedly tired classics (Superman, the now-dead-but-likelynot-for-long Captain Americas), the socalled ‘underground comic’ seems to have arrived.

Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman sells by the thousands. For those willing to go for something a bit different, the manga market is also thriving. And with movie adaptations of old underground British comics (such as V for Vendetta), it seems that previously lesser-known comic book greats are finally breaking into the cultural mainstream.

But whether or not you’re into comics, you’re unlikely to have heard about H.G. Oesterheld, Hugo Pratt or Francisco Ibañez. They, and many others, are creators of comic book classics which never quite made it to places like the US, with too massive a national market to penetrate, never mind the UK or our relatively minor market here.

You see, despite having a great part in promoting the medium, the Englishspeaking world has developed a specific attitude to Comics, which means many continental European comics (or indeed those from further away) remain culturally inaccessible.

It is widely considered that the ‘serious’ pieces of work in the field are ‘graphic novels’, rather than ‘comics’. In many other nations where the medium thrives, it is the content, not social perceptions, which is decisive for the success of a given piece of work. But in countries like Japan and my native Argentina, it is not strange for someone to read a comic book, no matter what age or gender they may be.

Don’t let this give you a false impression regarding gender or age equality. Rather, the industry supports enough different comic books to appeal to different markets, including reprints of the classics for those of us who simply don’t care about what young’uns these days are reading.

Sadly, language barriers being what they are, many great works of comic book history are virtually unknown to all but the most dedicated fans. Let’s start by accepting that, yes, some comics have transcended language and arrived in the Anglophone world. The Adventures of Tintin is a good example.

Product of Belgian artist Georges “Hergé” Remi, it narrates the adventures of young journalist Tintin, his dog Snowy, and Captain Haddock: his friend-comesidekick. From opium traffickers to devious aristocrats, Tintin faced foes from all over the world with a resourcefulness that seems a bit unlikely in someone so young.

Or, let’s not forget Asterix the Gaul, the historical parody created by Albert Uderzo and the late René Goscinny, which is one of the most famous French comics ever created.

Yet, while these are great works, a breadth of ‘classics’ have either never received English translations, or have enjoyed disproportionately small popularity compared to their countries of origin. Case

in point are the numerous adventures of Corto Maltes, a corsair travelling the seas in early 20th Century. Corto remains the most popular work produced by the late Italian artist, Hugo Pratt.

Born in Venice in 1927, Pratt joined Gruppo Venezia after World War II, which produced the anthology publication Ace of Spades. However, his most iconic charac-

sible. “All-ages” in this school of thought meant comics that might work on different levels for different social or age groups. Of these comics, the most prominent turned out to be Mafalda.

Joaquin “Quino” Salvador Lavado brought Mafalda and her family to life in 1962. Early Mafalda strips are certainly lacking in edge, their main focus being on the little idiosyncrasies of Mafalda’s typically middle-class family.

However, Quino developed both his artwork and his writing, which made the strip incredibly popular with newspaper audiences. Indeed, while historian Umberto Eco famously compared Mafalda to the more famous Peanuts, Quino has always claimed not to understand the comparison, and with good reason.

Mafalda does indeed show us the ordinary daily situations lived, mostly, by a group of children, and the art style certainly has some similarities to Charles Schulz’s. However, the innocent world Schulz shows us is not one Quino particularly shares in.

Mafalda is a child deeply concerned about the state of the world. After she learns to read in the second book of the series, she is often seen with newspapers, depressed at the horrors of humanity,

"Sadly, many great works of comic book history are virtually unknown to all but the most dedicated fans" ter was born in the pages of another anthology of comics, Sgt. Kirk, in Argentina.

To this day, both Argentinean and Italian fans claim Corto Maltese for their respective countries.

While there is continuity, there is no overall story arc in Corto Maltese. Rather, each story stands on its own. Corto is a half-English, half-Roma mariner, a corsair with no country who tries to stay neutral in the face of some of the greatest conflicts in the 20th Century.

Pratt makes Corto into a sober, cynical witness to a myriad events and cultural epochs, from the Buenos Aires of the ‘20s in which Tango emerged, to the Easter Rising in Dublin.

Inevitably, the heroic Corto takes the side of the oppressed, but while Pratt does use his character to present these real situations, he rarely passes judgment.

Indeed, Corto is often contemplative, with the artwork taking surreal turns such as our hero, finding himself alone in a train station late at night, speaking to two moons in the starry sky.

Many of the plots include, either as part of the resolution or the story proper, the fact that Corto has acquaintances in the strangest places, from Sinn Fein to his friendship with a young Stalin.

While Corto’s adventures are indeed available in English, the liberties taken with translation and adaptation of the storylines may have contributed to their relative lack of success.

However, even now, Pratt’s baby is with us in the form of a series of high-budget animated French features, giving the old corsair a bigger claim to the fact that he is “without nation”, but rather belongs everywhere.

For Corto Maltese, Pratt followed the blossoming genre of adventure comics aimed at a young demographic, predominantly male, and the school of such Argentinean authors as Francisco Solano Lopez.

However, an almost parallel comic scene existed in Buenos Aires of the 50s and 60s, which focused more in writing universal comics for all-ages consumption in national dailies.

However, this was a different concept of the term than the one dictated by certain modern daily comics, which indicates something must be as inoffensive as pos-

and wondering about the fact that some conflicts seem to go on forever (Vietnam comes up often).

Each character in Mafalda comes to life as the embodiment of an archetype: Manolito, the grocer’s son, always out to make a profit; Susanita, obsessed with marriage and childrearing in order to become a socialite; idealist yet selfish Miguelito, and Mafalda’s own parents round off the main cast.

If Mafalda has remained in the public consciousness of generations of Latin Americans and Europeans, it is because its wry look at relevant social issues of our times is still relevant.

Mafalda wanders in a world that is not just like our own, but it is utterly like it.

A ten-year-old who ponders about female empowerment, civil rights and military dictatorships as well as Communism. Not really Peanuts material.

Mortadelo y Filemon, on the other hand, couldn’t afford such extensive politi-

cal and social criticism, despite its quality humour and expressive, detailed artwork.

Indeed, despite Argentina’s history of political repression, the Spanish didn’t have it much better, with author Francisco Ibañez keeping criticism of the status quo or mentioning of contemporary events to a minimum until the end of military rule in the peninsula.

Mortadelo is a private detective, immensely clumsy, who’s ordered around by his boss Filemon, always on the receiving end of whichever tragedy Mortadelo sets in motion. It is yet another example of large-scale success translating into box office sales in its native country, as the pair received the movie treatment four years ago.

So, if you thought you’d seen it all in comics, think again. These are but the most famous of works from some European and Latin American countries. There is a whole world of comic book glory out there to discover. Sometimes, it’s right under your nose. You ever read Nemi? Yeah, that’s Norwegian.

16 FEATURES

College Tribune 17th April 2007

Filming in Hollywood's Shadow Simon Gallagher examines the lack of success of Irish films in recent years, and wonders what the future might hold The Irish film industry has experienced phenomenal growth and achievement over recent years.

While the release of successful Irish films may appear perfectly normal to modern Ireland, two decades ago such an idea would have been dismissed as fantasy. Until recently, the film industry was so minute that in 1984, a year when many UCD students were born, not a single film was made in Ireland.

Sidney Olcott was the first person to shoot a film in Ireland when in 1910 he arrived from America and directed The Lad from Old Ireland. During the making of a subsequent film, Olcott was condemned as evil for allowing the roles of nuns and priests to be played by actors.

Filming was delayed by an angry mob until the pioneering director and an American diplomat met the local bishop. While the Irish film industry of 2007 does face significant obstacles, it thankfully does not confront the same problems as Sidney Olcott.

Over 150 American and seven indigenous films were released last year, but 2006 was unquestionably ‘the year of the Barley’. On a miniscule budget of €6 million, Ken Loach’s The Wind that Skakes the Barley gro s s e d €3.7 million in I re l a n d

and was the third biggest release of the year.

Only Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and Casino Royal surpassed the civil war drama starring Cillian Murphy. Irish audiences preferred to flock and experience a seminal moment of Irish history in far greater numbers then went to The Da Vinci Code, Mission Impossible 3 or Superman.

In sharp contrast to the global hype campaigns surrounding these films, The Wind that Shakes the Barley depended on a modest advertising campaign and positive reviews.

Most remarkably the film garnered the prestigious Palme D’Or at the Cannes film festival 2006.

The only other notable success of 2006 was Neil Jordan’s adaptation of Breakfast on Pluto, also starring Cillian Murphy. The idiosyncratic tale of a transvestite settling in London garnered favourable reviews and almost €940,000 at the box office, the 30th highest of the year.

In sharp contrast to the aforementioned releases stands the abysmal p e r fo rm ance of A Tiger’s Tale. Directed by the distinguished British director John Boorman (Deliverance, The General) it was critically panned and pulled from every Dublin cinema within two week (except for the IMC where it lasted a 3rd).

A searing and provocative examination of Celtic Tiger Ireland featuring Brendan Gleeson and Kim Cattral, it concerned a south side businessman with a destitute identical twin seeking revenge. While Boorman’s campaigning drama held up a mirror to contemporary Ireland regard-

ing acute poverty, the health system and drug abuse, the film garnered a paltry €150,000.

David Gleeson’s The Front Line befell a similar fate both commercially and critically. A thriller concerning an African immigrant struggling to free his kidnapped family from a gang of inner-city criminals, it was pulled from Dublin cinemas after two weeks. The total box office return for the football drama Studs, the horror Isolation and the drama Middletown put together was €214,403.

Irish film is going to pull in a huge amount of money at the box office.

The same way that any U.S studio that produces ten films maybe two of those films in a year will bring in a majority of their box office.”

While conservative critics may disparage the public funding of filmmaking, the BSE is keen to highlight its cultural mandate. “(The Irish film board) is not an investment bank, we’re not looking to make money, but to develop an industry with long term goals in mind.”

The share of Irish films at the box office in 2006 was 5%, which in terms of largely English speaking country is a respectable figure given the preponderance of Hollywood.

While Ireland previously attracted Hollywood films like Braveheart, Saving Private Ryan and King Arthur due to the section 481 tax incentives, this is no longer the case. Since the 1990s Ireland has become less and less attractive for Hollywood producers due to the prevalence of tax schemes in other countries, particularly in the low cost economies of Eastern Europe.

Due to these developments in international filmmaking, Ireland now concentrates on attracting high budget television dramas such as The Tudors and Rough Diamond.

In 2003 the government indicated that it was going discontinue the section 481 tax incentives but following a substantial campaign from the film industry, the then minister for finance Charlie McCreevey opted to continue the scheme. Since pre-production can take several years before a shooting actually commences, the uncertainty concerning the tax incentives made American producers reluctant to invest in Ireland.

The film industry consequently experienced a severe downturn in activity in 2004. According to Louise Ryan, “I don’t think it caused damage but it would have caused a pause. Certainly the first six months after [section 481] could have gone were quieter than expected, but the Irish film industry has received huge support from the current government”.

While the issue of the word ‘pause’ is one of semantics, the minister for the arts John O’Donoghue has certainly been favourably disposed to the film industry. Recent years have witnessed a substantial increase in funding for the BSE, the establishment of a film board office in Los Angeles to attract investment and the tax incentive scheme has been extended.

Throughout 2007 Irish

"The Irish film board is not an investment bank, we're not looking to make money, but to develop an industry with long term goals in mind" Bord Scannán na hÉireann (BSE)/ Irish Film Board is the state body charged with developing and promoting the film industry. Despite the BSE’s important work with the nascent industry during the 80s, it was shut down in 1987 by the avaricious Charles Haughey.

The BSE was re-established in 1993

by Michael D. Higgins and presently has a budget of €17 million after a recent budget increase of 15%. Louise Ryan is the marketing and communications executive of the BSE. Speaking to The College Tribune, Ryan acknowledged the precarious nature of Irish filmmaking.

“Not every

audiences can look forward to the several releases including Shrooms, Speed dating, Cré na Cille and the eagerly anticipated Garage by Lenny Abrahamson, director of the cerebral Adam and Paul.

In recent weeks the Grafton Street musical ‘Once’ garnered the audience choice award at the Sundance film festival. Shot on digital video for a budget of €180,000 euro by John Carney (Bachelors Walk), the film has won both international acclaim and been acquired for American distribution. Fox Searchlight was responsible for Garden State and Little Miss Sunshine and is planning an extensive release throughout America for Once.

Despite being shot in two weeks on a miniscule budget, the quintessentially Dublin film has been nothing short of a triumph for the Irish film industry.

The disparity in success between ‘Once’ and other Irish films like ‘Boy Eats Girl’ or Headrush is largely attributable to quality. The Irish zombie-comedy tanked because it simply jumped onto the international bandwagon of ‘Shawn of the Dead’ and was frankly abysmal. Unimaginative and derivative fare will always be defeated by the superior output of Hollywood.

A frequent charge levelled at Irish filmmakers is that indigenous movies are too Irish and will consequently not find a market abroad. While it may be true that a film like Intermission or Adam and Paul will not sell well to American audiences, it is a culturally myopic and absurd argument to make.

According to this logic Irish writers and directors should consciously shape indigenous films so that punters in Iowa or New Jersey will want to pay and see them.

In an increasingly homogenous and globalised world in which cultural globalisation is merely a euphemism for Americanisation, the need for cinema that reflects unique creativity and cultural experience is needed more than ever.

When Irish feature films like Waking Ned do perform well in America, it is of huge importance for producers, but that should not be the over-riding objective for Irish filmmaking. If all European film industries fully subscribed to this aim, the cinema of Berlin, Copenhagen or Dublin would be entirely subservient to the tastes and preferences of American movie-goers.

It is not impossible for quality indigenous film-making to enjoy internationally acclaim as The Magdalene Sisters, The Wind that Shakes the Barley, Adam and Paul, Bloody Sunday and the Oscar winning short Six Shooter attest. While few films may be brilliant and the industry faces a precarious future, the chances of Irish

TURBINE URBINE THE

VOLUME XX ISSUE XI

IT’S SATIRE, STUPID!

INSIDE

“UCD WINNING” SAYS EXPENSIVE PR AGENCY MCDOWELL RELEASES ELECTION SINGLE: “WHO LET THE WOGS OUT?” ENOLA GAY PILOT “EMBARRASSED ABOUT THE NAME” UCD STUDENT FALLS INTO WELL: SERVICES LOOKING INTO IT GEORGE MICHAEL RELEASES NEW SINGLE: ‘ZIP ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO’ PC BRIGADE “FUCKING PATRONISING” SAY MINORITIES

STILL ONLY

31P

UCD PARKING CRISIS SINKS TO NEW LOWS FULL STORY - PAGE 23

LABOUR ANNOUNCE PLANS TO “SEE OTHER PARTIES” In a move that many friends of the party have seen coming for a long time now, Labour has formally announced its intention to end its three year relationship with Fine Gael and begin to see other parties again.

In a brief statement to assembled news media, Labour declared its “deep regret and sadness that things didn’t work out”, citing “irreconcilable differences” and the fact that the two “had simply grown apart as potential members of government.”

Friends of Fine Gael say the party is “devastated”. “I mean, they’ve always been a bit on-off, on-off, but Fine Gael really thought they could work it out. The party realises it has been demanding at times, always pressuring Labour to stop hanging around with their old ‘loser’ mates.

“But I mean all they do is sit around smoking spliffs and having useless protests. It might seem cool, I suppose it’s what first attracted the party to Labour, but ultimately you’ll never get anywhere with that crowd, you have to grow up. Besides, every relationship involves compromise. I just can’t believe they’re finished.”

The couple, who met in Mullingar in 2004, have reportedly not been getting on for the last eighteen months or so. It’s believed friends of the Labour party have been privately expressing dissatisfaction at how they had been increasingly “pushed aside”, with arrangements to meet for drinks or attend gigs often cancelled at the last minute.

“Every night it’s the same, ‘Oh actually I think I’m just gonna’ stay in with Fine Gael, watch a DVD.’ It sucks,” said a friend who would only identify himself as Joe. “Labour used to be so much fun back in college.”

Labour also denied that tensions had increased recently since it started hanging around more with rival party Fianna Fail. “It’s totally not like that, we’re just good mates, that’s it. Fianna Fail has nothing to do with this. At the end of the day, we’re just two very different parties.

“I wish nothing but success to Fine Gael.” Fine Gael has reportedly called these denials “total bullshit”, and also reiterated its long-standing policy on Fianna Fail being “a fuckin’ slut”.

AHMADINEJAD: “YOU CALL THAT A HOLOCAUST?” At a hastily convened press conference in Tehran yesterday evening, Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad once again raised doubts over the legitimacy of the historically documented size and scale of the Holocaust, which occurred throughout Nazi controlled territory during the Second World War. “You call that a holocaust? Seriously? Man, that was nothing. They didn’t even have any nuclear shit goin’ on there. Man, you wanna see a holocaust, I’ll show you a goddam holocaust.”

Making reference to a Power Point presentation throughout, Ahmadinejad outlined plans for the construction of a super-concentration camp, located in the Middle East and provisionally named ‘Israel’.

The Iranian president went on to condemn what he described as “US imperialist interfering” with a proposed 300 foot steel robot “capable of detecting a Jew from over 600 miles away, and with lasers for eyes and other cool shit.”

Ahmadinejad, whose address was littered with lengthy pauses during which he stared at his hands, also updated his ‘List of Infidels’, which now includes the governments of Belgium, Honduras, “most of Canada”, Mint Feasts and the last three series of The Simpsons, which he claimed “lacked the confident subtlety and narrative unity of previous series.”

In response, Israel has repeated its query to the UN asking if “every country was definitely sure they don’t want to swap places with them”.

18 REGULARS

College Tribune 5th March 2007

The Secret World of a Tutor

The path of least resistence Water flows from source to sea along the path of least resistance. Many students make their way through college in a similar way.

This is especially true of those who turn up for the first time just before their assignment is due and ask the tutor, “Sure could you not just tell us what we should write?” The tutor who has spent weeks trying to get the students to think for themselves, might be tempted to drop to their knees and howl, “noooooo!” in imitation of Charlton Heston’s dramatic closing scene in Planet of the Apes.

It is a common lament, usually delivered in a slightly less dramatic style; that students are no longer prepared to tackle anything hard. This in combination with a consumer led programming has resulted in old English being dropped from the undergraduate curriculum and to the early Irish and Arabic sections being closed down.

Students’ first impulse is to look for a translation of the text or a ‘For Dummies’ edition giving a neat summary of the main points, rather then getting stuck in and sweating out an understanding of it on their own terms. The same approach leads to Wikipedia essays, where large chunks are taken from the online encyclopaedia; sometimes pasted in complete with hyperlinks.

It is not fair, however, to paint university students as a bunch of grunting, snorting apes and throw up our hands in despair.

They are intelligent creatures who are never slow to spot and exploit a loop hole

in the assessment system or a technological tool that will make their life easier. If we are trying to teach them independent critical reasoning we can hardly complain if they use it to play the system to their advantage.

Most undergraduates see exams and assignments as a series of hurdles to be jumped on the way to getting their degree.

Many, having been trained in the leaving cert system, relish the sport of the exam season and the strategising and cramming that goes with it.

They calculate whether to attend lectures and tutorials and what texts to read according to how relevant they are to the assignment or exam. Their cost benefit analysis is about how to get the maximum results for the work they put in rather than the maximum educational benefit.

The answer to this problem lies in an appreciation of what exams and assignments do. They are there to check if the student has learned anything and to act as a gateway which allows them to move onto the next level, or not. It is not just an end point, however, it is the instrument that informs how students approach the material from the beginning.

Great care has to be taken to make sure that the assessment tasks force the students to engage with it and think independently about it. If there is the slightest chink they will find it and flow in that direction despite the hapless tutor’s effort to divert them into a constructive engagement with the subject.

T H E I N C R E D I B L E A D V E N T U R E S O F. . .

DOCTOR HUGH

REGULARS 19

College Tribune 5th March 2007

K E E W E H T PUNT OF TOP PUNTS

The top English soccer teams are at the pinnacle of European football at the moment, and it's hard to imagine them slipping up in their domestic leagues given the form their in.

So the Evens that can be gotten for the double of Liverpool to beat Boro at Anfield and Chelsea to take three points from the Hammers seems a good price.

Both those matches are taking place on Wednesday.

The Irish cricket side may have become the whipping boys of sorts in the Super Eights, but the Australians are one of the few big teams to live up to the expectations and it looks like it's going to be their World Cup, and at 11/10 they could be worth a punt.

It's not that long until the Gaelic Championships will come rolling around so outright Provincial and overall bets should be looked at now.

Dublin will have to be winning Leinster if they're to get in the type of form they need to be in order to contend for Sam. You would imagine that they can only beat themselves in the Province and should take it, making 11/10 a fair price.

The current nurses dispute could conceivably see the support for the current government waning and this could open up the door for Fine Gael to step into the breach and lead the next government. Enda Kenny is 5/4 to take the country's top job.

Speculation has been mounting in recent times that Pat Kenny is ready to say his farewells with the Late Late Show, and the bookies are giving odds on whom his replacement is likely to be.

Theres value to be had with Podge and Rodge at 100/1 but Tubridy might be more inclined to take over the hot seat. He's available at 6/1 along with Grainne N Seoige. Go on Grainne.

AUSTRALIA to win the Cricket World Cup 11/10 DUBLIN to win Leinster Football C'Ship 11/10

PODGE AND RODGE to host the Late Late 100/1 All prices are with PADDY POWER

CONSPIRACY THEORY OF THE FORTNIGHT

UFOs In The New World Order The most immediate advantage for New World Order ideas of being placed in a UFO context has been a reduction in stigma. Although UFO ideas have often been the target of ridicule, the enormous size of the UFO-accepting public has made it impossible to stigmatise UFO beliefs so completely that they are banned from public discussion.

Far from it—UFO ideas have ready access to such avenues of distribution as cable television, mainstream bookstores, and magazine publishers. They fall into the realm of stigmatised knowledge, in that science, universities, and government reject them, but the level of stigmatisation has not been so great as to exclude them from popular culture.

By contrast, the views of the radical right have been so excluded, through an unstated yet powerful pattern of self-censorship on the part of the mainstream. This voluntary silence has denied access to beliefs deemed racist,

bigoted, completely unfounded, or likely to justify or promote violence.

Tales of secret Illuminati conspiracies, imminent UN invasions, and Jewish, Masonic, or Jesuit plots, for example, have been informally banned from media, classrooms, and other mechanisms of knowledge distribution.

Unlike beliefs about flying saucers, considered eccentric but socially harmless, many conspiracy ideas deemed both false and dangerous have been banished from the mainstream discourse.

The linkage of New World Order ideas with UFOs gave the former a bridge to the territory of semi respectable beliefs.

UfO-ology became, as it were, the vehicle for the New World Order to reach audiences otherwise unavailable to it.

To be sure, New World Order ideas occasionally reached mass audiences, as the cases of Pat Robertson and Pat Buchanan have shown. In both cases, however, the conspiracies were presented in highly diluted versions; and in

Robertson’s case, even his weak version produced significant political problems.

The story of the New World Order— UFO connection is a story of ideas moving in two directions, not one. In the initial movement, New World Order beliefs became entwined with UFO beliefs.

A second migration followed in the 1990s, in which New World Order ideas

with their new UFO add-ons returned to the right-wing milieu in which they had first developed. In that milieu, the combination led to the development of two diametrically opposed syntheses.

In one, exemplified by British writer and lecturer David Icke, the human conspirators feared by the radical right are actually doing the bidding of malevolent

extraterrestrial forces whose ultimate aim is control of the earth.

In the other, epitomised by the views of Milton William Cooper at the end of his life, there are in fact no aliens at all.

Human conspirators to provide a pretext for the assumption of global dictatorial powers are manufacturing the appearance of an alien assault on the earth.

The first movement, when New World Order ideas left the hermetic world of the extreme right and began to seep into UFO-ology, is the more significant of the two. As the preceding discussion suggests, there were factors in UFO-logy that made this penetration seem logical, but it was not inevitable.

It does not seem to have been consciously undertaken by conspiracists or done for opportunistic reasons, even though in the end it provided a large new audience. Rather, it began in a disorganised, piecemeal fashion, and it provides a case study in the migration of deviant ideas.

SPORT DOWN THE LINE SUPER LEAGUE Keane on with Jack Horgan Jones

As Superleague tumbles inevitably towards its summer of love, one surely wonders what fates await those who have graced the Belfield pitches in the name of soccer over the past months.

When we free ourselves from the earthly constrains of academia, we always seem to find new ways of blowing astronomical amounts of money on more or less nothing.

I found a pay slip from where I worked last summer the other day and when I bear in mind that I hardly left the country and came back to college with about 100, it becomes apparent that I must have been doing a serious line in crystal meth consumption to have spent all that money.

Having a vague idea of what the youth of today are doing in their spare time, it has come to my attention that a fair few of us seem to be heading over to the promised land of the USA. Fair play to the Americans, they've figured out a way to make us pay for the police time we waste while over there on top of the sizeable chunk of tax they extract from our immigrant-sized pay checks.

Not that those financial fun and games are the end of it, we can all look forward to a trip back to the land that time forgot; dodgy fake IDs and waiting outside the offo for a bum to go in for you/rob all you're money and leg it off laughing.

"We can all look forward to a trip back to the land that time forgot; dodgy fake IDs and waiting outside the offo for a bum to go in for you/rob all you're money and leg it off laughing" More importantly, football is seen to be something of a girl's game in America, so any attempt to play Superleague's very own brand of total football could lead to admonishment by some Borat-style jocks.

Finally, due to the nuances of newspaper production and the imposition of exams, we won't be able to declare a winner of each of the Superleague divisions in the most public way possible, which would of course be a 32-page glossy supplement with in-depth biographies and player profiles, coupled with suspect shots of cruisers around Old Merville.

So it falls to this column to make premature calls on the winners of the divisions: Prem Sat has been too close to call all year, but it looks as though Football Utd FC are going to shade it on goal difference.

Barring a slip-up, Sporting Lesbian also seem to have won Prem Sun by the narrowest of margins. Yer Oul Ones Box have shown their inalienable class in D1 Sunday and have a single point advantage with a game in hand.

In Prem Sat, Sporting Lesbian and Ruck Fangers have taken it down to the wire, but don't rule out a brave comeback from the newcomers of the year, twelve-man “The Posh".

Premiership football Ben Blake looks at Roy Keane’s meteoric rise in club football management, and ways up the potential of top-flight action next year When ‘Niall Quinn’s Disco Pants’ is battling it out with a newly composed fan’s favourite chant in the terraces of the Stadium of Light, something is definitely up.

Sang to the tune of an ironically scouse outfit’s number ‘Hey Jude’, Roy Keane’s anthem is a sure measure of how the Cork native has won the hearts of the Wearside faithful in such a short space of time.

The past seven months have marked Keane’s baptism of fire into management, and thus far, he has come up with all the answers. Taking charge during the last week in August following Sunderland’s four defeats in their opening four games, the side recorded as the worst Premiership outfit in history, lay alarmingly in 23rd place.

Beginning relatively well, 2007 has witnessed an unbelievable turnaround of fortunes for the Black Cats. Unbeaten since before Christmas, their never-say-die resilience has resulted in them picking 42 from a possible 48, winning fourteen and drawing the remaining three of the last seventeen.

With just three fixtures to go, Sunderland have shot up beyond the dogfight of the playoff positions to sit proudly at the summit of the Coca-Cola Championship.

Apart from proving to possess an ability to grind out results and transform a group of players from a culture of losing to a winning mentality, Keano has exhibited a side other than the menacing red demon we had grown so accustomed to seeing lead his troops out into the Theatre of Dreams.

A million miles from the narrow-minded, raging perfectionist some had predicted, dancing up and down the touchline barking obscenities at officials and players alike, he has revealed a more controlled and at ease persona to the public. Presenting a tranquil touchline presence, this more rounded Keane has maintained his addiction to winning, however.

Interaction with the media has uncovered him in a new light, as Keane has shown himself to be a man of considerable intelligence, producing flashes of wisdom, humour and a sharp wittiness.

Gone are the grudges too. Re-building decimated bridges has been something Keane has learned to do, obviously realising that holding vendettas is the last thing he needs at this time in his career.

Niall Quinn (“The Mother Theresa of Irish football”) is now his Chairman, Dwight Yorke (“living off that whole we-won-the-treble thing”), the creative outlet in the midfield of his table-topping side and even Mick McCarthy (“a liar and a w****r”) has sat down for a drink with him, after his Wolves side became the latest victims of Roy’s Revolution.

Since his arrival, Sunderland have been a near constant participant in the transfer market, with ins and outs nearing the 30 mark at present. And a number of inspired acquisitions have made their climb to promotion that bit easier.

Keane brought in four Irish internationals, dipped into Sir Alex Ferguson’s reserve squad to coup defenders Danny Simpson and the hugelypromising Johnny Evans, as well as introducing the Caribbean style of play through Trinidad and Tobagan trio Stern John, Carlos Edwards and Yorke.

While his scouting system has mainly stuck

along the lines of ex-club mates at United, Celtic and the Republic, he has stressed the state of mind of an individual plays a major role in the selection process, “A player’s character is almost the number one basis I go on.” With this in mind, Keane didn’t think twice before offloading several key members of McCarthy’s squad; club captain Steve Caldwell being one.

The new boss models himself on excellence in preparation and getting everything right, down to the smallest, seemingly most insignificant detail.

The night before a game sees the squad spend the night in a hotel, whether the tie is home or away. Players are attired in suit and tie on match day, while the halls of the Academy of Light, Sunderland’s training ground is kitted out wall-to-wall in photographs of previous glory days the club has achieved.

The gaffer has also arranged various teambuilding days out for the players and coaching staff. Paintballing and white-water rafting were the latest excursions.

Off the field, Quinn and the club have been attempting to pry back the thousands of fans scarred by their side’s free-fall from grace.

When Sky Sports came knocking last month, cash in hand, they were politely turned away, as instead of receiving financial gratification and re-arranging the clash with Derby County to suit the television cameras, they decided to concentrate on filling the stands.

Already season ticket sales for next season have reached 9,000, which normally don’t get snapped up until around May. This year’s 17,000

is sure to be eclipsed and if the Black Cats do reach the Premiership this time around, 35,000 are estimated.

Keane’s reformed approach has not seen him lose his desire for stern discipline. A trip away to Barnsley in March witnessed Sunderland make the journey three men down. Tobias Hysen, Martin Fulop and Anthony Stokes found themselves omitted from the squad upon arriving fifteen minutes late.

For a player coined by the media as a loner in the dressing rooms during his playing day, Keane has been spotted out in Sunderland socialising on a couple of occasions. A Ricky Gervais show recently attracted him and his colleagues.

Sunderland as a whole are moving in a positive direction and Keane is the catalyst. The fans can see this and are doing their best to get behind the team, with as many as 4,000 making the trek to away games. Presuming they succeed in gaining one of the most remarkable promotions to the top flight in history, the Premiership will undoubtedly hold its breath as its most influential son returns home.

And he will be backed up by heavy artillery.

Niall Quinn and the Drumaville consortium have been accommodating to his every need and with a new ten million pound sponsorship deal with Irish bookmaker Boylesport along with Umbro’s kit sponsorship agreement; the funds will be made available. With this in mind, a multi-million pound transfer kitty will sure to be in hand when Keane delves into the market again in June.

22 SPORT

College Tribune 17th April 2007

Number one spot up for grabs

Last season saw UCD goalkeeper Darren Quigley grab much of the headlines as his numerous interventions helped to secure an impressive sixth spot finish in the eircom League Premier Division for College.

After fending off several outside admirers who threatened to prise one of the side’s young assets away, UCD held onto the services of Quigley as he decided to sign a new contract.

Many would be forgiven for questioning whether or not they heard right when earning that it is another shot-stopper who is receiving the rave reviews in Belfield right now.

Matt Gregg has stood in between the sticks, and stood strong at that, for the College’s last three games. Captured from Bohemians in the close season, the ex-Crystal Palace man has conceded a single goal during 270 odd minutes of football. This has prompted manager Pete Mahon to give credit where credit s due.

“He has done an excellent job. Okay, so we got beaten on his debut down n Sligo, but for me he was man of the match. He did really well against Waterford and was brilliant again last week.

Ben Blake The signs of a good goalkeeper to me are his levels of concentration because you might have nothing to do for 89 minutes, but in the last moment you could be called into action, and that’s the difference between winning and losing.”

Finding himself in the dugout is something that Quigley has grown alien to since arriving at UCD, as the past two years have seen him as a near constant in the line-up and more often than not, the first name on the team-sheet.

It is ironic then, that after receiving deserved recognition with a place in recent Ireland under-21 squads, that it would be this achievement that would indirectly put this as of yet immeasurable dent in his club career. Mahon explains the incident.

“Darren went away on international duty. And for the first time since I came to UCD, we have goalkeepers there who are a challenge to each other. At the start of the season, I went with Darren simply because he was the man in possession of the number one jersey from last season and I felt that was fair.

“Every new season, the slate is wiped clean, but in fairness to Darren he has been very good for us over the last couple of years since he has come into the team. He has got international

Race for number 1: Darren Quigley and Matt Gregg (top)

recognition and unfortunately for him and us, he picked up an injury playing for the Ireland Under-21s and that was the opportunity to bring Matt into the team.”

Looking at the broader scheme of things, Mahon may perhaps be taking a glance into the not so distant future and the number of outcomes possible.

It has been well-documented that Qui-

gley has attracted interest from both home and abroad.

With a possible approach coming in for the twenty-year old, it could well be that resigned to losing him when the transfer market re-opens, Mahon has pre-empted the move and filled the void before it even appears. Whatever happens, one thing is certain. College at this moment are the envy of many clubs, possessing two quality stoppers vying for the number one spot.

Mahon certainly feels that his new recruit is more than capable of taking on the task of last line of defence on a permanent basis, if needs be.

“Matt Gregg has always been a good ‘keeper. What he was lacking in was confidence. He hadn’t played much for Bohemians under Gareth Farrelly and his confidence wouldn’t have been great.

“Now he’s got his chance, he’s justified our faith in him. He’s an ultra-professional, he has a great attitude and he’s a great influence on the younger players.”

The coming weeks will further shine a light on the issue and it will be interesting to see whether normal order is restored with Quigley being handed back the place he has made his own, or if Gregg has shown enough to keep hold of his starting place.

FOR PETE’S SAKE UCD Soccer Manager Pete Mahon writes exclusively for College Tribune

The last fortnight has seen us record our first and second win of the season, which has eased some of the pain. At the moment, we're playing teams that will be in and around us in the league.

We've got two wins, scored five goals and kept two clean sheets. Usually it is our goalkeeper and back four who have been the main men for us, so I'm glad to see that a few of our forwards are scoring now.

While Derek Doyle is a winger, the rest of them have come for the strikers and it's something that I really hope will continue because the games that are coming up, it's going to be crucial that we continue to clock up points.

We set the players a target of bettering last year's position, and I think we are on the same number of points that we were this time last season. So, all in all, with the exception of the Sligo match, I'd be fairly happy.

In Thursday's selection, Conor Sammon was omitted from the first eleven. I didn't actually leave him out, he left himself out.

I didn't start him for disciplinary reasons, which we will keep to ourselves.

It has been dealt with and we will move on. We have a code of discipline there that is probably

UCD stalwart: Tony McDonnell sometimes hard to live up to. We do place a lot of demands on the players, but we don't place anymore on them then we do on ourselves.

Myself, Martin and the rest if the staff set the tone. We put a lot of time in, and as I said in the programme notes, we do set high standards, but that's the way it is. If you don't work hard, then you're going nowhere.

I'm employed by UCD to manage a team and in relation to team selection, if I don't look at the big picture and am fair to everybody and most importantly to be fair and honest to myself, then I have a problem.

Sometimes the easy decision isn't necessarily the right one.

If you make the right choices and are happy with yourself, then you're hoping that the players will justify your selection. When

it works out it's great, and when it doesn't we're disappointed. It's a collective thing, we win together and we get beaten together.

Luck plays a big part in success, but it's not the only factor. Hard work and dedication are needed, and if you get all of them put together, then you have got a good chance of being successful.

We are trying to impress on the young players how important it is to make sure everything is right before a game. You can't legislate for people having a bad game, that happens us all. What you do is make sure everything is in place beforehand and when you go out onto the pitch, the team is prepared the best they can be.

We made a decision and the team won, and I felt what I did was justified, and as I've already said once I'm fair to everyone, then nobody should have a problem.

In our club, the older lads are the most important ones in my opinion. People say it is the younger players coming through, but I don't think it is. They may be the future, but it's the Tony McDonnells, the Alan Mahons, the Alan McNallys, the Matt Greggs. They are the big plus for me because they are the role models.

When you look at somebody like Tony McDonnell or Alan Mahon who have been there more then ten years, well then you say ‘I want to achieve that.'

The young lads can see what great professionals they are and the way they go about their business. That's why they've lasted so long in the game, and that is why they are very influential people both in the eircom League and in our team.

SPORT 23

College Tribune 17th April 2007

A true underdog story Darragh O’Donoghue talks to Sue O’Reilly, founder of UCD’s European Intervarsitywinning Dodgeball team on getting started, finding success and fancy dress The list of sports in UCD where the college holds European honours is a short one and when Sue O’ Reilly set up a dodgeball team at the start of the year; she didn’t expect they would be adding to it.

“We just set-up the team because myself and one of my friends were talking about how a lot of these clubs do so much training and you have to stay up at weekends and put in so much time,” says O’Reilly. “So we thought we’d like to set up a club that was more for the fun of it rather than just being focused on winning.”

They may not have set up the team to win, but win they did, and incredibly, in the most marginal of minority sports, her team swept aside the competition in Glasgow last February to become champions of Europe. A European dodgeball intervarsity may seem quite unusual, and so it proved.

“It wasn’t overly official or anything, it was fancy dress for the first few hours and then at the end we had the proper competition. There was a Welsh team, an English team, a team from Edinburgh and two from Glasgow.

There aren’t too many intervarsitytournaments where you can warm up by playing your opponents in fancy dress. One of the teams was dressed as the Super Mario brothers; we had a Pirate team, Team Toga and a Gentlemen’s team. They just wore suits.”

It wasn’t all fun and games however, as the team was pushed hard before gaining their crown. O’Reilly explains, “The competition was actually pretty good. Being the only official team, we didn’t think anyone else would be

quite as good, but it actually ended up being a really great tournament.”

They are now aiming to repeat the trick in the Irish Intervarsites that take place in UCD next week. It seems that a lot of work has gone into organising this competition and O’Reilly is hoping that it will raise the profile of what has recently become an official sport.

“Since there aren’t any other official dodgeball clubs, it’s really difficult, it was more through contacts that things got organised. Some of my friends from Trinity would make a team and we’d play them, that kind of thing. So it’s difficult to get official intervarsities going, but we’re hoping that this competition on Saturday might encourage other Universities to set up clubs, because it’s actually easier than you’d think.”

Not that easy initially, however. It seems UCD were slow to realise the potential of the sport at first, and took some persuading before they saw the support it had and the work that was being put in to promote it.

O’Reilly says, “They were a little bit skeptical at first, because a lot of people don’t realise that it’s actually an official sport now. They weren’t very helpful at the beginning of the year and we had a lot of problems, you know the usual teething problems, people on the committee pulling outv because of study and exams and that, so we didn’t actually get a grant in the first term.

“We did some fund-raising ourselves so we could apply in the second term, and we figured we’d start fresh next year. But we’re doing an intervarsity

next week, we got a grant from them and the Students’ Union is backing us as well. Once they saw that we were actually interested and that it wasn’t just a joke they got more supportive.

UCD has really helped for the past few months.”

For a team that started out training

with Barbie and Simpsons’ footballs; they’ve come a long way in a short time. “It was a great experience, especially for the first year. It will make things easier for next year too, when people realise there are actually competitions and it’s a proper sport that you have to do some training for.”

The team worked hard, training twice a week in addition to playing matches, and their success obviously hasn’t come about by accident. So, if you want to witness some of UCD’s European champions in action, the Intervarsities are being held in the Astra hall next week.

SPORT IN BRIEF

COMPILED BY EOIN DELAP

Camogie The UCD camogie team has completed a successful season with a hard fought victory over UCC to claim the National League in the Ragg in Tipperary. The side claimed the Ashbourne Cup earlier this year and their victory in the Ragg on April 5th ensured a stunning league and cup double.

The game was close until a dramatic finale as the Students scored a late goal, which ultimately was the difference between the sides. A free-scoring performance from centre-forward Una Lacy was central to the final score-line, as she accumulated some vital score.

It is a mark of the current strength of UCD that they were missing six of the side that contested the Ashbourne Cup final with UCC due to college commitments, but still managed to field a competitive side. Those who stepped in to fill the boots of the absent players ensured that the performance levels of the season were upheld.

The final score of 3-10 to 4-10 guaranteed that the home team

topped the table and completed a memorable sporting achievement for the college.

UCD's success this year is to be recognised by Dublin's Lord Mayor Councillor Vincent Jackson. A reception will be held in the Mansion House on Tuesday night to mark the team's exceptional season.

Ladies' Volleyball The UCD Ladies Volleyball team will play Newbridge in the Championship Final on April 21st in Belfield.

The students beat Aer Lingus in the semi-final to qualify for this Saturday's decider, which is sure to have quite an edge.

Newbridge have narrowly claimed the Premier League ahead of the home team, who now have the opportunity to make amends in the cup competition. The game is a carbon copy of the final two years ago that UCD claimed by beating the Kildare side three sets to two.

The victory over Aer Lingus will give the Students a considerable

boost, as it was the Northsiders who narrowly beat them in the final of this competition last year. UCD will be hoping to enact revenge and atone for the loss of last year's final.

UCD's coach Paul McKeever is confident his side will prevail, “I think its going to be a very close game. Newbridge have won the league by a short head from us and I hope to get some revenge for that."

The game will be played in the Sports Centre at 1pm on April 21st.

Men's Basketball UCD Men's Under 20s have beaten Swords in the National Basketball Arena to secure the Dublin Cup. After an early scare they pulled away from their opponents with a performance that ensured the silverware.

While the home team went into the game as favourites, their Fingal opponents took an early lead of twelve points before the Students

took a grip of the following three quarters.

With the competition on the line, the Students reacted excellently to recover the early deficit and finally to achieve a commanding victory.

This win banished some of the demons of the lost National Cup final, which must surely have played on the players' minds at the end of the first quarter. There was to

be no reoccurrence though as the mature UCD side went on to win comfortably.

This year competition was somewhat tainted by the absence of many sides who choose not to take part. However this does not take away from what is a considerable achievement that points to a successful future for basketball in the college.

V

Volume 20 / Issue 11

Dodge Ball

17th April 2007

SPORT

Life grabbed by the balls PAGE 23

UCD climb above sloppy Bray

2 KILMACUD UCD Bray Wanderers 0

Substitutes Derek Doyle and Connor Sammon helped UCD make it two wins on the trot and climb above a bland Bray Wanderers side in the eircom League Premier Division last Thursday at Belfield Park.

In a match with little atmosphere, the doggedly determined youth of College outstripped the lumbering experience of a lacklustre Bray side.

The home team moved up to seventh place in the league after goals from second-half substitutes Derek Doyle and Conor Sammon gave them the all important three points. Speaking after the game manager Pete Mahon remained characteristically modest about the inspired substitutions.

“The changes we made proved to be the right ones.

Sometimes you get it right and sometimes you get it wrong, so I wouldn’t be taking any plaudits for that.

That’s part of the job, making the hard decisions. This time it came off, and I’m happy with the win.”

Play proved dull for much of the game, with prolonged spells of long balls and generally scrappy football, resulting in plenty of kick outs and free kicks.

Bray were particularly bad at giving away possession.

Going forward, UCD found outlets through their lightning-quick wingers, and the creative runs off the ball by the forward line.

The Students should have been three up after the first half. On 27 minutes, striker Tim Purcell burst onto a clever through ball and took it over the head of

Jordan Daly keeper Steven Williams. The visitors were saved by defender Chris Deans who raced back to scramble the goal bound effort off the line.

Evan McMillan again shook the Bray defence with a diving header which shaved the far post from a wellwhipped in free kick on 35 minutes. It was then that Conan Byrne had the most clear cut chance of the game. Romanian left winger Bogdan Oprea sliced open the Wanderers backline with a superb pass but after an aggressive dribble towards goal relatively unopposed, Byrne fired a low shot into the waiting arms of Williams.

It got worse for the visitors when skipper Clive Delaney had to be replaced with a head injury just five minutes into the second half following a collision on the UCD goalmouth with Alan McNally. The home side showed signs of how dangerous they can be in the first half but it took the introduction of Derek Doyle to finally punish the sloppy and cumbersome defending by Bray.

Doyle showed great composure in the box as he dodged two opponents and coolly slotted the ball home from twelve yards with the keeper left stranded. One-nil up after 59 minutes, the College weren’t content with the narrow lead and didn’t sit back. Paul Byrne sprinted onto a long ball from midfield but had

his shot smothered by the keeper from close range.

Bray never really looked threatening up front and apart from Andrei Georgescu’s late header which struck the woodwork, they rarely tested former Wanderers keeper Matt Gregg. Despite making three changes, the Seagulls lacked the hunger needed to contest with the speed and tenacity of UCD’s youngsters.

Mahon’s decision to replace tired legs with fresh ones again paid dividends when he hauled Purcell off for Conor Sammon at 76 minutes. Sammon, UCD’s top scorer last season, showed great composure to seal the victory with a goal in stoppage time. Having controlled the ball beautifully from a lofted cross into the box, he took it out onto his left to create space and then buried it into the far corner.

UCD earned the win through their sheer persistence in chasing down everything and their ability to take advantage of the sluggish Bray defenders. The students face Derry next in the league and with players on form like Paul and Conan Byrne, Purcell, Sammon and Doyle, Mahon will be hoping that more goals are served up at the Brandywell.

UCD: Gregg, Mahon, Kenna, McMillan, McNally, Crowley, C Byrne, Madigan, P Byrne, Purcell (Sammon 76), Oprea (Doyle h/t).

Bray: Williams, Tresson, Deans, Kenny, Delaney (Derek Tyrell 54), Cousins (Gough 66), Duggan, Cawley, Georgescu, Dunphy, David Tyrell (O’Shea 66).