11.30.13 Special Issues: Holiday

Special Section theTrinitonian

14 NOV.30.2012

Holiday guide

How to commemorate 2012 through meaningful gift giving Staff Column Lauren Wilks

No matter what the religious, spiritual or cultural beliefs or what-have-you of your family and friends, these gifts are topical and will forever remind the lucky recipient of all of the most important (or maybe just the most memorable) things that happened in 2012.

1.

Diamond (-like) Tiaras to Encapsulate the Memory of Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond Jubilee. This is for your friends who say that they’re anglophiles and stayed up to watch this event or Prince William and Kate Middleton get married or they might just like sparkly things.

2.

Romney/Ryan 2012 Sticker. This piece will either give a friend a swell of joy or overwhelming nostalgia for the time when he or she thought that the beloved Mittens would actually be running the country.

3.

SOPA-related Creative Content or Internet Black-Out Mementos. Way back in January of 2012, the Stop Online Piracy Act Bill was proposed, and while all involved parties acknowledge that online piracy is bad, according to critics, the way the bill was written potentially promoted censorship and other unintended Internet usage limiting consequences.

In protest, major sites including

Google and Wikipedia joined in net-wide black-out efforts Jan. 18. Give your friends the gift of uncensored Internet creative content this holiday season.

4.

Olympics 2012 Gear. If you want to give a friend the chance to relive the ups and downs, laughs and tears of the most recent Summer Olympics, you could give them shirts or athletic gear associated with their favorite countries’ Olympic teams. Or you could give them something with gymnast McKayla Maroney’s unimpressed face on it. That could be good too. Definitely just as meaningful.

5.

Breaking Dawn Part II Memorabilia. Or anything with R-Pats, Kristen Stewart or Taylor Lautner on it really.

Pillowcases, cups, necklaces, standees … many of these items exist with the all-toofamiliar faces and names from the Twilight series emblazoned upon them and they’re fantastic.

Whether you’re gifting them to a Twihard or you’re trying to show someone just how much you dislike them, because they received this gift from you this year, they’ll remember that 2012 was the year the Twilight Saga ended and they will feel things.

6.

Framed Curiosity Rover Photos. Since Mars’s most recent visitor from Earth just received a nomination for TIME magazine’s Person of the Year 2012 award, give your friend who geeks out about NASA and outer space a nicely framed photograph of the images from the recent landing.

7.

Euro Cup Merchandise.

The Euro Cup occurred again this year, so if you’re possessed

of friends who play a lot of FIFA or talk about European soccer teams a lot, show them how well you know them by finding gear for their favorite European soccer team and giving it to them, even if their favorites didn’t make it very far this time.

8.

Justin Bieber is Single T-Shirts, etc. There are more people out there than you’re aware of who are super excited that Justin Bieber is finally single after ending things with on-again, off-again girlfriend Selena Gomez for a sort-of extended period of time. There are, of course, already rumors circulating that the Biebs misses Selena and wants to get back together, but since he has a wandering eye and all, there might just be the first real opportunity here in 2012 for a fan to make an impression and win him over.

9.

Apocalypse Prep Packages. So the Mayans called it forever ago, and this gift is made extraordinarily topical because there are enough people either actually freaking out or who are genuinely fascinated by the people freaking out about the impending end of the world on Dec. 21. Include whatever you think is appropriate for the recipient you have in mind — compact DVD players, lots of clothing appropriate for layering, shoelaces, granola, tequila — whatever you think they need. For tips on how to survive the end of the world, see the show Doomsday Preppers on the National Geographic Channel.

Fascinating stuff.

Christ Back in Christmas!”

I know—it makes me cringe too, but there is a group of religious fundamentalists out there who actually wants to restore the religious meaning of America’s favorite holiday.

I won’t stand for it, America, I won’t stand for it!

These fools want to take capitalism’s greatest accomplishment and turn it into some simple, somber, Christian ritual revolving not around consumerism, gaudy décor, and excess, but around Jesus. Don’t they know the reason people don’t go to church anymore is because that’s boring? Do they want the same fate to befall Christmas?!

Seriously, why would I go to midnight mass when I could stay home in my pajamas, get drunk off eggnogg, eat all the sweets I want, and open presents. The only refreshments they’ll be serving at church are Communion wafers and a sip of wine, and as for presents….well according to

the good Lord, you’ll have to wait until death for your big reward.

Hello, I’m not waiting until I die to receive Ralph Lauren’s 2012 winter collection.

You may think I’m kidding, but come on, who doesn’t love the excess of Christmas in America? The blazing lights on every tree in your neighborhood, the blaring Christmas music at every retail establishment, the parties, the gifts, the food, the booze, the vacation time! I am glad that Christmas is commercialized; I can’t get enough of it, and I’m not apologizing.

In our increasingly secular society, isn’t getting Christ out of Christmas exactly what we should be trying to accomplish anyway? Half the Jews I know already get Christmas trees every December. I want everyone to be able to partake in the Christmas magic, regardless of his or her religious affiliation!

Besides, if we really want to get technical here, the origins

Staff Column Brian Westfall

We are officially in the season of giving, and we all want nothing more than to take, take, take. You’ll take a day off class if given. You’ll take a free sample (or two) at the grocery story if offered.

Hell, you’ll even take a dress off the sales rack and stuff it in your pants because you just LOVE how it matches your eyes (Just me? Well, I digress).

The point is people are looking to give you stuff around this time of year, and you have no idea what you actually want. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to get down to the bottom of what your heart truly desires this holiday season.

1) What do I want?

The first things that should go on your list should be the things that automatically come to your head as stuff that you want in the here and now. This is the easiest question to ask, of course, but nonetheless you desire things badly. This is the perfect spot to put that one “reach” gift that you don’t fully expect people to get you -- whether it be a car or a presidential pardon for that thing you did. You sick bastard.

What do I really want?And more questions for your wish list.

2) What do I need?

When it’s 50 degrees outside, it’s hard to think about summer and that fact that you need a new bathing suit, but this is the perfect time to get those things you’ll need in the future. Are you going on a trip in a couple of months?

Are you starting a new job or moving somewhere? These are the questions you need to be asking yourself when making your list. It may not be that fancy iWhatever you want, but it’ll save you money in the future -- which is really the best gift of all in the season of all-consuming credit card debt.

3) Do I want anything different?

It’s easy to pigeonhole yourself into the same old categories that you normally go with when coming up with your list. Your relatives and friends probably even expect to get you something from those same categories. But if you really think about it, there are probably some things you normally don’t want that you do want now. Make sure to put them on your list, as your gift-giving companions won’t know about it otherwise.

The War on Christmas Staff Column Ben Conway,

In this week’s Ben Knows Best, I discuss my abhorrence of Thanksgiving. After reading it and my other articles, you must be convinced that I am filled with nothing but hate and criticism.

That’s mostly true; but not in regards to Christmas.

I absolutely love Christmas—I live for it, but the holiday is in crisis. There’s a war on Christmas, and I am ready to fight on the front lines for the holiday I hold most sacred.

Christmas’ enemies are lurking around every corner, especially in the Bible-Belt of the deep South. You’ve probably seen their favorite slogan plastered on billboards, yard signs, even television commercials: “Put

of Christmas are actually traced graphi c by Car to a Roman pagan olin e Ja holiday occurring at the kub ows winter solstice, and the Romans ki were all about the excess…. they invented conspicuous consumption.

So really, seven hours, why don’t you Christmas was about decadence politely decline and say: “No, from its very beginning, and I I think I’d rather watch four think that’s the way it should Christmas movies in a row, remain. drink Champagne and eat half a This December, if you get box of Godiva truffles,” because, invited to a live-nativity or some let’s get real, that sounds like boring Advent service that lasts way more fun.

Holidayguide

theTrinitonian NOV.30.2012

15

Season of Giving Guest Column Edwin Blanton

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” ― Mother Teresa While there are many ways to give back to the community, there are several ways that a member of the Trinity community can give during this time of year.

Here I’m talking about four of the ways, but as a disclaimer this is not an all-exhaustive list of the ways to give during the holidays.

Consider giving to one, or all four of these options: Elf Louise - The Office of Human Resources is sponsoring a holiday toy drive to benefit Elf Louise, a program which distributes thousands of toys to needy children at Christmas. You may bring a new, unwrapped toy for a child of any age to the Human Resource Office, NH108 from now through December 7.

To make it more convenient, you may also leave a check written out to “Elf Louise”.

2013 Calendars – Do you get one and then in this age of smart phones not use it? Consider sending a 2013 calendar to the troops serving in Kandahar, Afghanistan. It may seem like a small token, but calendars are really appreciated regardless of

the theme or size. The calendars are being collected by Elisa Sanchez in the Health Care Administration Department.

Build-A-Bear -- TUVAC’s Cancer Awareness program will be delivering Build-A-Bears and toys on December 5 to the cancer patients at Children’s Methodist Hospital. You can sponsor a bear for only $10, or write a Christmas card to a patient. There is a table in Mabee at lunch today – so hurry on down there!

Angel Tree -- The Rotaract Club has a Salvation Army Angel Tree in the library. It’s located on the third floor by the staircase leading up to the fourth. The tree is decorated with notes describing different needs from a family in the San Antonio community. You can fill-out a small form at the table beside the tree and then go shopping. Gifts are due before Thursday, December 6.

Finally, consider giving your time. In many instances the child in the after-school program would rather have someone play ball with him rather than give him a ball. The nursing home resident would most likely appreciate a visit more than anything. Remember, needs in our community are present year-round, not just at this time of year. Also, it’s never too early to think about those New Year’s resolutions. Will you give more in the new year of your time, talent or treasure?

Or, will you put more love into your giving?

graphic by Caroline Jakubowski

Staff Column Caleb Franzman With the semester coming to a close and the holidays fast approaching, nothing helps us get in the spirit for the holidays like music. While many believe that the canon of holiday songs is set, artists have not stopped writing original holiday songs.

Sure, you’re free to listen to the Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack again, but there is more out there. You are not forced to listen to the same songs over and over again.

Over the past few years many excellent original holiday songs have been written, so let’s take a look at them.

To those looking for a solid beat during the holidays, the hip-hop community does not disappoint. From the hilarious and long overdue Ying Yang Twins album The Ying and Yang of the Holidays, to the Youtube rap sensation Krispy Kreme and his single “Christmas,” to the

more serious original version of the Outkast single “Player’s Ball” there are plenty of rhymes and rhythms to open up this holiday season. However, one of the best recent holiday original comes from Kanye West’s G.O.O.D. Music label. Despite some questionable choices on guest features – a lazy and cliché verse from Cyhi Da Prince as well as an uninspired verse from Pusha-T who is still riding on the coattails of his 2006 masterpiece “Hell Hath No Fury” – and awkward production on Cam’ron’s otherwise excellent verse, the single succeeds in celebrating the holiday season while making references to previous Kanye West songs. In particular, Teyana Taylor’s hook and outro give the song much needed holiday warmth in sharp contrast to the materially focused verses, encouraging the listener to consider thweir own holiday paradox.

When it comes to recent holiday songwriting in the indie/rock scene only one name truly deserves to stand on the top of the tree – Sufjan Stevens. Since 2001, Stevens has recorded a Christmas album every year, releasing

them in the five-cd box sets Songs for Christmas (2006) and Silver & Gold (2012). But, out of Stevens’ dozens of recent holiday originals “Christmas Unicorn” the 12 minute part original part cover of Joy Division single “Love Will Tear Us Apart” – stands tall as the flashiest and one of the most meaningful holiday original of recent years. Like all great gifts, “Christmas Unicorn” comes totally unexpected, but once you have heard it, you wonder how you lived without it. The song touches on the origins of Christmas, the American obsession with consumerism in the face of the holidays, and, ultimately, on the unity we enjoy as humans partaking in such a seemingly absurd holiday.

While there are many more holiday originals and covers to check out this season (may I suggest The Beach Boys’ Christmas Album for a nice change of pace) I hope this has been helpful. The classics can be very helpful in preparing us for the holidays, but one of the best parts of the season is finding new music to help us rediscover the holidays every year.

10 Steps to creating the ultimate awkward family photo Staff Column Krista Campolo

The season is finally among us; the season of fireplaces & hot cocoa, Santa Claus & reindeer and of course, the infamous family portrait. But the family photo is a work of art that must be perfected in each and every way possible, and the awkward family photo requires even more precision and detail. It’s not easy looking this awkward. Not to worry though, for I’ve provided you 10 steps to effortlessly turn that normal, dull and boring family picture into a eye-twitching, fear-inducing rectangle of awesomeness.

Step 1: Start with a good backdrop It doesn’t have to be cute, it doesn’t even have to be creative. The only thing your backdrop should do is add to the awkwardness; meaning, put up a sheet or a fun tapestry. Don’t forget that the world is your oyster!

Step 2: Go for a theme The theme is totally up to you and in conjunction with the backdrop, your theme will create your photo. Just because it’s the

season to be jolly doesn’t mean you absolutely need to put a Christmas tree in the background – though this is completely acceptable. You may want an America theme or perhaps a Star Trek theme with matching onesies to go around!

Step 3: Grab a prop I promise, this is important.

Whatever your theme may be, employ a prop. Props foster creativity and overall, are usually visually unappealing – perfect, you say? I know, right!?

Step 4: Mustaches, trust me.

Do I really need to elaborate?

My only words of advice here … commitment. WORK the mustache, LOVE the mustache, BE the mustache.

Step 5: Matching turtleneck sweaters Nothing says be jealous of our warm and cozy awkward family like turtlenecks. As SpongeBob once sang, “The best time to wear a striped sweater, is all the time.

One with a collar, turtleneck!”

Step 6: It’s usually a good idea to include your pets – in a costume We know they hate it, but that’s probably 87 percent of the reason why we do it! Go ahead, it’s only for a little while, dress that kitty up in that fleece reindeer costume you spent so long

picking out. Your kitty cat can deal.

Step 7: All about dynamics Here’s where it gets interesting. Vary the eye contact, change up the poses and use levels!

Try to get variation, you want an awkward photo but also an aesthetically pleasing one.

Step 8: Candid photos are usually the most promising Poses can be fun, but catching folks mid sneeze or mid blink can sometimes create the masterpiece. Put your camera on a self-timer and take multiple unprepared for shots. The more the merrier!

Step 9: Add an upset baby (if possible) This step is mostly optional – no need to steal a baby. But hey, if you have one lying around, use it. If you’re wondering how to complete the “upset” part, just use peek-aboo, that game never works for me.

Step 10: SAY CHEESE!

Steps 2, 3 & 10

Steps 1, 3 & 9

steps 4 & 5

6 & 7 , 4 s p e t S

Holiday guide

theTrinitonian 16 NOV.30.2012

Holiday lights deserve a fighting chance at Trinity Point Carlos Anchondo, Starting every November, the San Antonio Riverwalk shines with millions of lights, dangling from trees, from bridges and the buildings surrounding the Paseo del Rio. Each winter, the University of The Incarnate Word (UIW) brings life to their campus with a lights display of their own. Each year, the trees of Trinity University remain bare and void of holiday spirit.

While I recognize the disadvantages of following the crowd (so not hipster), bringing Christmas lights to Trinity University would not mean participation in a passing fad. Instead, it would mean securing our legacy as an integral component of the San Antonio community.

You might argue that the lights on the Riverwalk are merely part of a ploy to attract increasing numbers of tourists, clad with maps and visions of dancing piñatas in their heads. To a certain degree you’re right. However, as corny as it sounds, Christmas lights help bring joy to the season and let us know that the time for merriment has arrived once more. Christmas lights lift us from our doldrums, tell us to sit back, have that cup of eggnog we’ve been waiting for all semester and blast “The 12 Days of Christmas” until your balcony mates can’t stand it anymore.

How many of you have driven downtown or across Hildebrand to UIW to see their trees, packed and brimming with lights? I know I have.

Christmas lights raise morale, plain and simple. Imagine walking across campus, head bent over, worrying about your impending doom at the hands of whatever final you’ve been cramming for, when you look up and see that you are surrounded by lights. Will you frown and continuing feeling stressed? NO! Will you shake your head and start ranting about the electricity bill? Certainly not! If even for a moment, you’ll relax and know that the end is approaching and that everything will eventually be okay.

Despite our recent sojourn home for Thanksgiving, at this point in the semester we’ve been away from home for far too long. We miss our pets, our beds and maybe even our parents. We might be feeling a little down, especially with the treacherous aforementioned final. Christmas lights on Trinity’s campus would alleviate that sadness with a surge of holiday excitement. Every care in the world is dismissed as we once again become kids, still 10 years old and writing to Santa.

However, we’d currently have to go to UIW or the Riverwalk to do that. Trinity is behind the times, claiming to be a part of the city while rejecting a tradition bursting with holiday cheer. I think we’ve clung to our qualms long enough.

Even the surrounding areas of Olmos Park and Monte Vista are getting into the holiday spirit. It’s too late to be the trendsetter, but it’s not too late to jump on the bandwagon, Trinity! Get up and grab a string of lights!

graphic by Samantha Skory, intern

Leave Trinity the way it is, without expensive lights Counter Point Aly Mithani First, I want to begin by mentioning that I have no vendetta against the holiday lights industry. I am not a Trinity Grinch who wants to suck the Christmas spirit away from campus.

The lights at The University of The Incarnate Word are certainly an impressive spectacle that everyone should at least drive by at some point this holiday season. That being said, Trinity has its own holiday spirit and traditions that represent our unique culture fairly well.

One of my favorite parts about the holiday times at Trinity is observing each balcony’s unique lights and decorations for the holidays. If we were to have campus-wide lights, I feel like we would lose the individuality of celebrating the season on campus.

Everyone should take the opportunity to decorate their space on campus with their particular traditions in mind. Celebrating the holiday season this way is much more representative of Trinity’s culture of diversity.

After all, who would even undertake such a large-scale overhaul of the campus? We cannot expect our facilities services staff to do our bidding for us among all their other work in the winter season. Also, our campus security’s work would be

strained by the increased traffic on campus to observe our decorations.

Increased campus traffic during the holiday season also would not likely help our relations with the Monte Vista community.

The costs to the university are not limited to the extended work of our staff but also the lights themselves.

Illuminating the entire campus in the way Incarnate Word does would require thousands of dollars in just the costs of lights themselves. Also, anyone who has put up lights either on campus or at home knows that should one light break, the whole set becomes worthless, which means that the lights will likely not be a one-time cost, but rather an annual purchase for the University.

In order to keep the lights going, the University would also have to endure significant electricity costs as well. Needless to say that these costs would likely be forwarded to the student body and knowing our school’s penchant for marking up costs (see: Ramen in the P.O.D), it is likely cheaper for us to put lights up ourselves.

Not having campus-wide lights does not make our campus less spirited than others such as Incarnate Word. Rather, we recognize the diverse nature of our student body and celebrate that through our individual decorations during the holiday season. Also, being realistic about the amount of resources necessary for such an undertaking makes it apparent that we should not take on such a challenge.

Safety comes first with eight sparkless nights Intern Column Aynov Leibowitz As we delve into the magical holiday season, Trinity students are beginning to book their flights, compile their wish lists, and of course, decorate their dorm rooms.

Fortunately, Trinity is widely diverse, so many decorations will be enjoyed around campus, as well as in the community around us.

Though fully accepting of all, Christmas is a more accessibly celebrated holiday on campus than Hannukah and Kwanzaa.

Trinity’s Chapel offers a special

service called Vesper’s, while the community around Trinity puts on “Lights on Oakmont,” a popular event for Trinity students. If there is a desire to decorate one’s dorm, it is quite simple. A fake tree can be purchased and decorated with lights and ornaments, while an assortment of lights can be hung up, among other personal traditions. If you haven’t had a chance to go into or at least pass by Northrup, you will find a gigantic christmas tree with an assortment of ornaments and decorations scattered around the building.

On the contrary, Hannukah and Kwanzaa are based on the tradition of lighting candles.

For Hannukah, observers light the menorah candles with the middle candle, also referred to as the shamash. The symbolism

is actually quite interesting. The Jewish Temple was destroyed and the eternal light was snuffed. With utter dismay, the Jews quickly managed to find a vessel of oil to re-light the eternal light, but it was only enough to last one day.

Miraculously, the oil lasted for eight days until the Jews were able to find more oil.

Kwanzaa observers light the candles for their “seven core principles.” These include: unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity and faith. The purpose of the candle lighting is to strive for a better overall community in every aspect, as well as commemorating their struggles in the past.

Both very meaningful holidays will have quite the challenge to be

celebrated on Trinity’s campus.

This is because, as stated on Trinity’s Residential Life section of their website, we are not allowed to bring or acquire candles. This claimed fire hazard is restricting specific religious observers from their traditions.

Though it makes sense to be cautious with candles, I believe religious observances should be exceptions to the rule. We should be allowed to celebrate Hannukah and Kwanzaa just as easily as it can be to celebrate Christmas. It branches off the acceptance of differing cultures.

Now, you might be thinking, “well, why don’t you just use one of those electric menorahs?” These are quite different and lack the special meaning behind lighting the candles. I would venture to link

that method to using an old school Lite-Brite machine by creating a tree form with the plastic pieces in place of a real christmas tree.

Though it might be very pretty, it does not contain the same symbolic meaning behind the original practice.

Moving forward, if the school would like to implement a rule such as no candles, without exception, I feel as though there should be a compromise with accessibility to be in a celebratory mood for every holiday. Rather than just accommodating to Christmas across campus, we should put menorahs, kinaras (Kwanzaa candles), traditionally decorated colorful artwork based on Kwanzaa, blurbs to educate the community and spread awareness for every holiday practice represented.

theTrinitonian

Advertisement

NOV.30.2012

Margarite B. Parker Chapel Trinity University

The Christmas Vespers December 2, 2012 6 o’clock in the evening

17

Holiday guide

theTrinitonian 18 NOV.30.2012

New Year’s resolutions that never last Intern Column Sara Marchionda New Year’s Eve is a date on which people reminisce on the year past and are overcome with hopes and dreams for the year to come. Was last year the best year ever? Are you doing everything right? Chances are there is something you want to change … an area of your life you want to improve upon. This is where the dreaded/popular/ cliché New Year’s resolutions come into play. Many people promise themselves that the next year will be one of drastic improvements.

However, almost all research points to the conclusion that the vast majority of New Year’s resolutions fail.

In fact, most don’t last until February .... or even longer than a week, for that matter. Here are a few of the most common that are doomed from the start: I will…

1.) Work out more often Good plan. But, somehow, making this goal on New Year’s Eve adds a lot of pressure. Even worse but also sadly common is, “I will work out every day.”

Puhhlease. Good luck exercising when you’re sick with the flu or have a workload that brings you to the verge of tears. Admittedly, “more often” is much more likely if you haven’t worked out the whole year. Oh, by the way, walking to class doesn’t count.

2.) Lose ____ lbs Bad. Bad. Bad. Putting a number on it is not a good plan.

This is even more pressure, especially since it stems from self dissatisfaction. Not a good

motivator. Not to mention this is definitely psychologically detrimental.

3.) Quit smoking Good luck. The success rate of these resolutions puts you at an immediate disadvantage. Do it on your own time. Plan it out.

Make it about you, rather than the “New Year.”

4.) Help others What exactly does this mean?

I will now enjoy my mandatory community service for my organization? I will buy my friends coffee from Java City with my extra bonus bucks?

5.) Spend more time with family and friends First, the friend part shouldn’t be a problem. You are in college.

Secondly, after spending all winter break at home, will you really be aching to spend more time with the fam? My guess is,

you will be glad to return to the freedom of college where phone contact is your only option.

5.) Get organized I hate to be negative, but … yeah, right. If you are already a messy person, it seems highly unlikely you are going to go home and clean your whole apartment/dorm, organize all your papers, write down everything in your new planner, etc. When will you find the time?

No more days off after New Years till spring break, people.

Plus, when finals roll around, or “hell week” for that matter, are you really going to find time to put everything away?

6.) Quit drinking. …so much? I feel like this is made by many the day after New Years Eve when they are hopelessly hung over, puking their brains out and can’t get out of bed. In this state of mind,

Trinity University and the City of San Antonio MLK Jr Commission present the

MLK jr commemorative lecture

BOYCE WATKINS, Ph.D. Author and Financial Scholar

Five Ways to Bring Dr. King’s Dream Back to Life Thursday, January 17, 2012 7:30 pm | Laurie Auditorium More information about the lecture is available online at web.trinity.edu/31916.xml

never drinking again sounds like a magnificent and plausible goal. However, what happens after your boss/professors pile on the work after the holidays to make up for the time missed?

What happens when all that stress builds up? Dude. We are in college for heaven’s sake.

Let’s face it. You’re probably gonna drink. Perhaps a more plausible goal would be like: “I will try to never be this hung over again” or “I will not drink until I black out and destroy half my brain cells.”

Perhaps the moral here is that we should simply make a New Year’s resolution to never make a New Year’s resolution. One day, one spontaneous decision does not equal a year of dedication.

Change happens one day at a time, gradually, with motivation and occasional failures, and, surprise, a hangover is not a good state in which to make resolutions.