CAROUSEL triple cities
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february 2014
vol. 2 issue 2
the sex issue.
MOE IS COMING
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contents (in bed).
February 2014 Triple Cities Carousel 5
editorial................................................................6 sex.........................................................................7 art.......................................................................14 events calendar..............................................18 music....................................................................21 theatre and dance..........................................25 comedy...............................................................28 food and drink..................................................29 fun stuff............................................................32 crossword........................................................34 HEY THERE, PUNK. YOU KNOW HOW YOU KEEP SAYING “CAROUSEL NEEDS A ‘LETTERS TO THE EDITOR’ SECTION? WELL, WE TOTALLY WOULD IF YOU’D SEND US SOMETHING! editor@triplecitiescarousel.com TRIPLE CITIES CAROUSEL P.O. BOX 2947 BINGHAMTON, NY 13902 Publisher/Editor-in-Chief Christopher Bodnarczuk Assistant Editors Heather Merlis, Ronnie Vuolo Creative Consulant/Calendar Guru Ty Whitbeck Advertising Christopher Bodnarczuk, Kathleen Klein Staff Writers Charles Berman, Stacey Burke, Ilana Lipowicz, Kaitlin Mooney, Maria Murphy, Rose Silberman-Gorn, Felicia Waynesboro, Ahlpheh Ohtis Wilson Contributors Ed Hickey, Krissy Howard, Kevin Salisbury, Kristina Strain Photography Ty Whitbeck Layout/Design Christopher Bodnarczuk Youth Liason Ahlpheh Ohtis Wilson Printer Our Press Chenango Bridge, NY On the Cover “Hina, Painted” -E.L. Downey, and “Timothy as Asmoday” -E.L. Downey (Photos by Tice Lerner) FOR ADVERTISING: ads@triplecitiescarousel.com FOR LETTERS, COMPLAINTS, PRAISE, DEATH THREATS, AND MORE INFO: editor@triplecitiescarousel.com
editorial (in bed).
6 Vol. 2 Issue 2
Well, here we are in February, and I’m supposed to come up with some sort of a lead-in to the new issue. So here goes: IT’S THE SEX ISSUE! IT’S THE SEX ISSUE! IT’S THE SEX ISSUE! I’ve been waiting to say that for so long… sometime last summer, our creative consultant, the esteemed Mr. Whitbeck, pointed out that it is in fact impossible to spell ‘Carousel’ without ‘arouse,’ and we had a good laugh. He then went on, referring to whatever super sexily laid out newspaper we had printed that month as “folded fornication.” More giggles ensued, and then we spent an hour discussing the pros and cons of printing a sex issue. The pros: sex is great, writing about sex is great, we could have a super sexy body paint cover shoot, and also, boobs (we are an elegant bunch). The cons: the readers might hate it, the advertisers might hate it, and I’d be forced to assign my own mother an article about sex. Eww. After much deliberation, we decided to go ahead and do it… so here it is! IT’S THE SEX ISSUE! IT’S THE SEX ISSUE! IT’S THE SEX ISSUE! I think you readers will like it. I think our advertisers will stick with us after this. I think I can come to terms with printing this, despite the fact that the last time I played the horizontal mamba, people still thought Miley Cyrus was a wholesome girl next door. I think the most unpleasant experience of my life has been editing my own mother’s words about doing the nasty. I was quite content assuming that I had been a virgin birth, but she just had to go and shatter that illusion. Gross, dude. Anyway, let’s do story time: A few years ago, during a visit with my dear, dear grandmother, I made a terrible mistake. I asked her about sex. Well, no. That’s not true at all, and it makes me sound like I’m from Homer or Candor or something. So I didn’t ask her about sex, but I did ask her about what standard courting consisted of back in the 40s. My question: Did people French kiss with the frequency they do today? These days, sticking a tongue down a willing companion’s throat is about as common an activity as we get. But, was it always that way? Well, my dear, dear grandmother looked a bit taken aback, and she stared at me in silence for a minute. Then she said this: “Well, when your grandfather was in Italy during the war, it was all the rage. The local girls were all about it. But then he came home and married me. He tried convincing me, but I was a nice girl, and I wasn’t having any of that.” I pressed her further: did she know when the trend became as commonplace as a hug? She looked a bit confused, then said “wait… what were you talking about?” Tongue kissing, Nana, tongue kissing. “Oh!,” she exclaimed. “Yeah, we did that all the time!” Oh, okay. I just had a conversation with my grandmother about oral sex, and had no idea. Gouge my freakin’ eyeballs out with a fork, whydontcha? On the bright side, Grandpa seemed so much cooler after that. At least the fella tried! Story time is over. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go pack. It’s time for a road trip to Miami! If you need me, I will be sitting on a beach with half of the staff, drinking rum from coconuts and enjoying the Virginia Key Grassroots Festival! It’s no secret, my borderline obsession with the Grassroots family of festivals, which is why I’m not even going to pretend I’m doing anything here other than throwing them shameless promotion… So take a few days off this month, drive south for 22 hours, and meet me on the beach! -Christopher M.F. Bodnarczuk
February 2014 Triple Cities Carousel 7
There’s really not all that much to say to introduce this issue. You have sex. We have sex. Everybody has sex! So let’s talk about sex, baby! In the following pages, you’ll find an assortment of articles about, well, getting down. Screwing. Making love. Dancing the horizontal mamba. Doing the deed. Funo, we can’t say that one. Enjoy! Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day, you crazy kids.
HEAVEN ON ROUTE 11:
8 Vol. 2 Issue 2
Women, if you think your breasts are too small to be sexy, think again. In heaven, breasts come in the full range of shapes and sizes. Not necessarily in the Heaven of the afterlife, but in the after-hours of Binghamton’s unofficial district of gentleman’s clubs, known to many as Heaven on Route 11, they definitely do. On a recent Tuesday evening, I played third wheel and tagged along with a couple I know for a trip to Madame Oars. I’ll call them Amy and Jarvis. Those are not their real names, but no person’s name will be real in this article, excepting my by-line. There is no cover charge on Mondays and Tuesdays. But then, there is never a cover charge at the topless strip club Madame Oars, nor at its fully-nude, separate-entrance component Tzers- at least not for women, bikers, police, firefighters, or those bearing military ID or the stub of a same-day ticket for a sporting event or concert! (Free entrance for all during Happy Hour, from 6pm to 8pm.)
The stage in the center of the room is high. Adorned with shiny poles for the dancers to stroke, mount, and slide around, it is surrounded by giant television screens showing pop culture stuff. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of separation between performing
Let’s take a moment to clarify the subtleties. In New York State, if a club is called “topless,” alcohol is served, the dancers bare their breasts, and the age restriction is twenty-one. If the club presents “nude dancers,” the establishment cannot serve alcohol. Instead, the club offers a “juice bar” and the age restriction is lowered to eighteen. The Tzers component of this dual establishment promises at their website, “Our juice bar will keep you hydrated while you sweat bullets at the foot of the stage and the club’s VIP room is also right here for some up close, one-on-one time with your favorite dancer from either club.” As to the term “strip club,” I thought, what’s to strip? There’s almost nothing there. Yet they do manage to slip out of bits of panties and things to reveal even tinier bits underneath. The dollar bills that patrons slipped into the performers’ g-strings stood up like plumage on exotic birds.
Upon entering, we three are enveloped by contemporary music and randomly circulating colored lights that sometimes strike us right in the eye and take a bit of adjusting to but are, ultimately, pretty stimulating. As we’re settling down from that, our surroundings begin to come into sharper focus. We spy girls wearing costumes that are not much more than woven bits of string, air and Spandex milling around a large, immaculate room full of men. This is exciting, even for a pair of heterosexual women like Amy and me. I once read in an article in the New York Times that states that the main reason many women are aroused– sometimes even more than men are– by watching nude or nearly nude female performers, is because everyone wishes to be an object of desire, and we project the desirability of beautiful, scantily dressed women onto ourselves. So while Amy and I are busy unwittingly projecting- and gawking- at the ladies’ fantasy stilettos, I’m also taking in how different the room appears from the inside, than how it seemed it would be. From Route 11, Madame Oars and Tzers, as well as Escape– a nude entertainment club just a few yards down the road– all have the appearance of closed boxes of intimidatingly fortressed privacy. From the inside of Oars, however, the feeling is open and airy. I’m not sure if this is accomplished with mirrors or what, but the atmosphere feels welcoming and safe.
and socializing. The dancers (we counted eight that night) spend a lot of time teasing around the bar, talking to customers, most of whom seem- by the degree of demonstrative body language- to be familiar to them. The women who work here are clearly skilled at making clientele feel, shall we say, “wanted” in every way- so it’s impossible to be sure who is a regular and who may be new. A dancer will seamlessly break away from intimate associations when it is her turn to glide up onto the stage. The DJ’s voice kept saying, “Put your hands together for…” after each dance session, but the transitions were so easygoing, we never saw or heard anyone applaud.
Amy starts a conversation with one of the dancers. Lark (not the actual name she gave us) exudes genuine warmth, as most of the dancers do. I ask her if she finds her work fun. With a wry smile she answers, “Sometimes,” then adds, “This is like any other job.” I ask her if women come here often and she responds with, “Yes; a lot of couples.” Lark says she has been dancing for five years and it’s strenuous. This slender, sculpted woman says she used to weigh 170 pounds and she never has to work out. “I just dance,” she tells us. “I spend a lot of time around drunk men, just like a bartender.” But later, when we see her dance, it’s not like a bartender. That warmth she exudes has turned to slow-burning energy. The smile is still there but now she is writhing very close to some man’s face, staring into his eyes with a concentrated sexual tension that wraps around the two of them like stretchy elastic bands. What inspiration may have kicked in from all this when Amy and Jarvis got home that night and said goodbye to the babysitter, we can only surmise.
by Felicia Waynesboro
Speaking of inspiration: The first Monday of every month at Madame Oars is Amateur Night. $100 goes to the winning dance contestant, and the possible satisfaction of a fantasy fulfilled. For detailed information visit madameoarsandtzers.com. Escape is located at 624 Court Street, Binghamton, NY 607-775-9316.
BINGHAMTON’S STRIP STRIP
THE SEX POLL
(REALLY, ‘THE SEX AND LOVE POLL,’ BUT THAT HEADLINE DOESN’T MAKE US GIGGLE AS MUCH) WHAT DOES LOVE FEEL LIKE? “Recognizing yourself in another.” “An itchy, burning rash.” “Inspiration.” “A bag of warm potatoes.” “Witty banter, followed by obsession, eventually leading to therapy.” “A hamster in a velvet glove.” “Euphoria.” “Pudding.” “Little caterpillars in your stomach, crawling up your throat, into your mouth where they transform into butterflies and fly out.” “Hell.”
how vital is kissing during sex? pretty important:
“Confidence.” “An inviting and alluring energy.” “Sense of humor.” “Eyes and a smile that laugh and flash.” “The realization that I can have an interesting conversation and laugh with someone who I also find physically attractive.” “Swag.” “Their willingness to have intercourse with me.” “Smile…smile and, um, boobs.” “How they treat their friends.”
53% extremely vital:
33% not that important:
14%
WHAT’S YOUR PREFERRED METHOD OF BIRTH CONTROL? Birth Control Pill/Shot/Implant: 27% Pull n’ Pray: 21% Condom: 21% Vasectomy/Female Sterilization: 8% Other: 12% Fertility Awareness Method: 5% IUD: 5%
HOW OFTEN DO YOU ACHIEVE ORGASM DURING SEX? EVERY TIME: 29% USUALLY: 27% SOMETIMES: 21% MULTIPLE TIMES: 18% NEVER: 5%
WHAT ATTRACTS YOU FIRST TO A MATE?
WHAT’S THE MOST ROMANTIC THING YOU’VE EXPERIENCED? “Dancing a two-step all night.” “Having a child with the love of my life.” “Blowjobs on a tennis court. Not romantic, but awesome and as close to playing a sport as I get.” “A boy who loved me thirty years ago looked for me and found me, and now we’re more in love than ever.” “Threesome in the rain.” “Getting married to my husband.” “My first anal experience.”
how important is being in love to enjoying sex?
it helps:
43% pretty important:
26%
doesn’t really matter:
20% completely vital:
11%
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND?
Yes, Once or Twice: 52% Yes, Many: 32% No: 15% Don’t Remember: 2%
February 2014 Triple Cities Carousel 9 Ah, February. Love is in the air… or maybe that’s snow, followed by unseasonable warmth. It’s confusing, but so is love. And we love our readers, so you can imagine what happened this past month when it got real chilly. One thing led to another, and before we knew it, we were asking you to partake in our Sex Poll. And you jumped right on it. Like, you were all over it. Some might say you rose to the occasion. We can keep going with this… Ahem. Words cannot truly describe love; they cannot capture the passion that writhes inside of our lascivious readership like a caged monkey on speed. But the results of our Sex Poll can attempt to paint a vague (yet, somehow, too specific) picture of sex and love in the Triple Cities. Enjoy, you filthy scoundrel. (compiled by Heather Merlis)
HOW FREQUENTLY DO YOU HAVE SEX? A FEW TIMES A WEEK: 37% A FEW TIMES A MONTH: 29% A FEW TIMES A YEAR: 11% ALL THE TIME: 11% RARELY: 9% NEVER: 2% DAILY: 2%
WHAT MAKES FOR A GOOD PARTNER? “Honesty and generosity from both sides.” “Fidelity.” “Someone who doesn’t freak out over small things.” “Trust and openness.” “Love of experimentation, and an ability to forget.” “Attentiveness, a giving and loving nature.” “Someone who makes you feel like you’re not that bad of a person and accepts you even if you are.” “Someone you can be totally honest with.” “Passion.” “Someone who can handle my craziness.” “Patience, understanding, and the ability to bring me to orgasm.”
would you rather give or receive oral sex?
give: 15% receive: 25% yes, please: 57% i’m not really into it: 3%
10 Vol. 2 Issue 2
THE SEXY MAN’S THE SEXY LADY’S GUIDE TO BEING A SEXY MAN GUIDE TO BEING A SEXY MAN Sexiness. We all strive to achieve it, yet some of us never really find an effective way to show off our sexy side. You may have a severe underbite. A hair-lip. Halitosis. You might have been a person of interest in a homicide a few years back. You may have all of these afflictions at the same time; that doesn’t mean you can’t be sexy. It might make having actual sex problematic, but still… you can be sexy. All you need to do is follow my patented 5 steps to achieving sexiness, and you will be well on your way to living a very sexy, adventurous life... while having a long list of things wrong with you. 1. Eat Shrimp- You don’t need to eat shrimp because it is delicious, which it is not. Eating shrimp makes you look like you enjoy the finer things in life. And by ‘finer things,’ I mean ‘overpriced.’ But don’t just go sit at a bench in the mall with a shrimp platter you picked up from your local grocer, hoping some sexy cougar will walk by and invite you over for sex. Put them tasty little fellers in a Martini glass, and go to where the cougars hang out... someplace like a Jr. Varsity football game or the women’s locker room at Curves. 2. Wear A Ski Mask- And wear it everywhere. If there is one thing a woman loves, it’s mystery. If there is another thing a woman loves, it is being fawned over, so maybe do something like call her a lot or follow her everywhere, so she knows you’re devoted and loyal. Doing this while wearing a ski mask makes you mysterious and attentive, and those are the two fastest ways to win a woman over, all while putting your unrelenting sexiness on display. 3. Hit On Every Woman You See- If there is one thing a woman finds sexy, it’s confidence. A woman wants to see a man put himself out there, flaws and all. Tell a sexy lady that she is the most beautiful girl you have ever seen and that you feel lucky for even being around her. Then, find the woman closest to her, and repeat this process until you have talked to every woman in the room. Make sure the previous woman can hear you. This will create a feeling of jealousy in the previous woman, and if there is one thing that makes a man sexier to a woman, it’s him making her jealous of another woman. 4. Have A Card- Women want a man with goals. A man with a purpose. A man with a card. It doesn’t even have to be for anything in particular. It just needs to be a card with a name on it. Sure, you can have an official title on it, but make sure that title stings like the bee. It can be “President of Poon” or “Janitor”. It doesn’t matter what it says, as long as it is a card with a name on it and it’s something you hand to her before vanishing into the crowd. I once saw a man hand a woman a baseball card and say “Call Me Beautiful.” Then he just walked away, and the woman could not help but stare in disbelief as he sauntered off. Maybe it was because he told her to call him beautiful, or maybe because the baseball card was a Derek Jeter and she knew she just got hit on by Derek Jeter, but her eyes never moved away from that man. Okay, that man wasn’t Derek Jeter. That man was me. 5. Don’t Wear Sleeves- Your arms are most likely huge from having to fight off all of the woman chasing after you now, because you’ve followed steps 1-4 and have achieved such a high level of sexiness. You’ve got shrimp on your breath, and you’re wearing a ski mask. You’ve hit on every woman in the club with the same pickup line. You’re handing out baseball cards. You’re doing this… all at the same time! You player, you. The only logical next step is to remove your sleeves to show off your impressive muscles… women will totally claw away at you to try to get your attention, because you’re so sexy. There might even be a bouncer or security guard in the mix as well, because you’ve reached such a high level of sexiness, you’re starting to attract other men. Don’t panic. Just take your pick out of the crowd, grab her really tight in your strong arms and run towards the nearest exit, whisking her away from all of the madness. It helps if you yell out something sexy like “STAND BACK” or “Don’t make me use my sexiness on this woman right in front of all of you!” That shows you’re assertive and a take control kind of guy... yet thing women find irresistible. Or, just get a puppy. That works, too.
So, I am totally used to people asking me for advice on how to pick up a potential sexy friend.
Most people are surprised, if not appalled, to find out I am currently single. I’ve seen people spit their food on the ground upon asking “You? No boyfriend?,” to which I reply “nyeahh ignoowww wiiii?” Once I’ve properly chewed and swallowed the mouthful of macaroni and cheese obstructing my words, I repeat “Yeah, I know, right?!” I would answer “what happened with the last guy?,” but I was just about to take another bite of macaroni and cheese so, you know, timing is everything. I’m sure a lot of you single ladies out there are dying to know my secret, but the secret already lies within. It’s called a vagina, and it is literally all you need to have sex with a man. Don’t believe me? Go to any bar. That’s it, instructions over; sexing commence. If you are a woman who has sex with women, I cannot guarantee that this will work for you, as women are typically slightly less disgusting than men, although most human people generally tend to hover right around that ‘still pretty disgusting’ mark, so you should be OK. While Cosmo magazine offers us ladies hundreds of sex tips that drive men wild, I’m here to offer you guys out there some really basic, motor-skillshaving, just-keeping-a-person-alive type knowledge that we women are looking for in that someone special(ish). It’s only three things, and no, none of them are “just be yourself,” because yourself is obviously a mess. You want to talk to someone about just being themselves? Ask the yellow Starbursts! See if you don’t find a stale couple of them next to a pile of pink and red wrappers! Be you, but better! 1. Be Clean- Humans naturally produce body odor. Men’s bodies, however, happen to produce the most offensive form of olfactory assault since the hard boiled egg. You stink. If your body were to write graffiti on a desk in high school, said graffiti would read “feet+balls 4ever” in a crudely drawn heart. Get in the shower, and wash your body. Thoroughly. You can probably get away with just getting your hair wet, so use whatever time and product you would have used on your hair on your entire body, then rinse, and repeat. When you get out, brush your damn teeth… what are you, five? Launder your clothes and bedding, take out your garbage, and don’t have fleas. 2. Be Employed- Now, before you get all “ugh, I knew it, she’s a gold digger,” like most jobless people get after their lady friend walks out on their busted ass, all I mean is “be employed.” You don’t even have to buy us crazy stuff with whatever money you’re making at your job, just don’t sit at home and do nothing but complain about how you don’t have a job (if you’re looking and still waiting to hear back, that’s great, but play guitar or something in the meantime… we still want to want to have sex with you!). Do something for someone… that will pay you money… to do that thing. It doesn’t have to be super exciting. You don’t need to be a high powered whatever… and just so you know, the Bluetooth was invented to serve as the antiViagra for lady boners, so please, please stop, as it is not an identifier of success. You don’t have to make a million dollars, or even, uh, something that is way less than a million dollars… just some amount of dollars would be cool. Basically, just have a job, guys. 3. Don’t Be A Dick- Be a nice person, most of the time. Don’t lie to us, cheat on us, steal our stuff, hit us or our dog (or any dog), yell at our roommate, roll your eyes at the Chinese delivery guy, or talk smack about our parents (that is for us to do, you have your own stupid parents to talk about). Don’t be racist, sexist, homophobic, or generally intolerant of an entire group of people… unless you’re telling a really great joke, but it has to be a REALLY great joke. If you’re going to be any of those things, at least be really good in bed, and maybe just be those things silently. In fact, why don’t we get started on that you-not-talking-anymore bit as you “chew a small piece of mango... then take me into your mouth. You can use whatever fruit you have, just don’t try anything too acidic, as it can burn.” (Cosmo sex tips!! Huzzah!!). If I seemed too hard on you, gentlemen...shut up, it’s only three things. -Krissy Howard
-Kevin Salisbury
(RESULTS MAY VARY)
LIFE’S A DRAG AT MERLIN’S... BUT NOBODY’S COMPLAINING! Rose Silberman-Gorn Staff Writer
Merlin’s, Downtown Binghamton’s fabulous gay bar, dance club, and lounge, is known for wildly popular drag shows, which the bar has been presenting since 2005. They have recently resurrected “Trash Thursday,” a concept which began at a bar in Johnson City in the late 90s. Trash Thursday is a 4-week amateur drag competition. Participating drag queens are required to prepare an outfit and lip-syncing number, based around a new theme every week, such as disco or rock-n-roll. In addition to the amateur drag queens, seasoned mainstays such as Monroe Sedgwick and drag king Justin Saine also perform. The man in charge of hosting the Trash Thursday shows, as well as “Divas after Dark” every third Saturday, is Katrina, a.k.a. bar manager Phil Howell. He has performed in drag at Merlin’s since 2005, and has been perfecting his act for the past 18 years. Regarding his initial attraction to drag, Phil explains, “I always wanted to be an actor, and drag fulfilled that outlet. It felt limitless to me.” He took his drag name, Katrina, from a cheesy vampire movie from the 1980s. “The character, Katrina, commanded attention. She was poised and bitchy,
which I based my drag persona off of.” An Endicott native, he moved to San Diego in 2001 to perform drag. While living there, he worked at Lips, a drag restaurant. He also branched out into the entertainment industry, filming a commercial and doing some modeling. He later moved to New York City, where he lived and performed for several years, before returning to Binghamton to complete his education. Phil will host the Valentine’s Day drag show, called “My Bloody Valentine” on Saturday, February 15th. The show will explore the darker side of drag, with distorted, disturbing Halloween-esque makeup and outfits. The goal, as Phil puts it, is to look like you’ve been “jacked by a flasher.” Also in the works is a large outdoors show in June, in honor of Gay Pride Month. Binghamton is home to some very talented drag queens, including DeDe Kupps, who cohosts Divas after Dark; Dusty Boxx, who hosts a show the last Friday of every month; and newcomer Alura Chanel, all of whom put on an entertaining, fun show. “People who haven’t been to drag shows before, come here and have the best time,” promises Phil. “The energy is really positive and the performers are amazing.” For more information on Trash Thursday, Divas after Dark, or other events, contact Merlin’s at (607) 722-1022. Merlin’s is located at 73 Court Street in Binghamton.
WRAP IT UP, DUMMY! Stacey Burke Staff Writer
Steamy, passionate, hot. That look in their eyes, the touch on your skin, the connection you feel. We are all either taking part in it, or wishing we were. Its sex, folks, and all humans are instinctively driven to want it. Yet it is an all too often taboo topic, especially when it comes to safe sex. As part of our public school requirements, we’ve all had health classes. Whether or not you were dozing off, or doodling on a notebook, some pertinent information or grotesque photos sunk in at one point or another. Most likely any 8th grader these days could tell you the intimate anatomy of a human body. You know about birth control pills, condoms, abstinence, the risks, the diseases. So why are more people than not having unsafe sex? Why are STDs on the rise? Though the answers to these questions may vary over different generations (as the senior citizen population is the largest rising STD growth), the fact is, people are just not being safe. We can all imagine that very first kiss with someone new and how it feels, the excitement that stirs, and how often things can quickly lead from one thing to the next. The intensity can, and for the most part, does cloud most people’s reasoning and logic. Throw a few drinks into the mix, and things get even more complicated. Chances are, we’ve all had that night and that moment. What happens from there is questionable. Let’s be honest, I’m sure we’ve all heard (or said) the “it doesn’t feel as good” line, or “things just got carried away.” As fun and amazing as sex can be, responsibility must come first (pun intended) and you need to think about the potential consequences of your actions, beforehand. After talking to both young adult men and women
alike, I find that there are several similaritiesthough we know the “ins and outs” of what safe sex is, we are both confused and unsure how to go about it. Who’s responsible for having protection? What do you say when in the heat of the moment? What if your partner doesn’t say anything as things proceed?
What it really boils down to is communication. Whether it’s a new and blooming relationship or a one night encounter, you need to be prepared. No one wants to be walking around with something they’re stuck with. And the facts are, there’s a pretty good chance that sexy man or lady at the bar either does or has had something at one point. An estimated 75% of the reproductive-aged population has some form of HPV, and 1 out of 6 people has genital herpes… not to mention that many STDs show no symptoms and remain undetected. That leaves quite the gamble that the love of your night could be a huge risk. So, when it comes down to getting dirty, be clear. You know what to do. As much as a mood killer as some may think, it’s an even bigger burden to walk away with an itch, or burn, or baby. Be responsible. And if you don’t feel comfortable enough to have the talk or whip out some form of protection, then chances are you shouldn’t be doing it. Safe sex doesn’t mean “not fun”. It means smart. It’s a pretty cut and dry topic if you ask me. And unless you are in a committed, monogamous relationship with someone, practicing safe sex is your responsibility, especially for your own health. Above all else, get tested, and often. There are plenty of places in the Southern Tier that offer free STD and AIDS testing, along with plenty of information on more ways you can practice safe sex. The Broome Health Department STD Clinic offers free STD and HIV testing Tuesday’s 9am3pm, or 3pm-5pm by appointment. You can also contact your local Family Planning or Planned Parenthood locations for free or reduced testing. Let’s face it, we all love sex, just do it safely and keep the communication open.
February 2014 Triple Cities Carousel 11
‘LGBTQIA’ WHAT? EVOLVING TIMES CALL FOR EVOLVING LABELS
12 Vol. 2 Issue 2
(OR MAYBE NO LABELS AT ALL)
Ilana Lipowicz Staff Writer
acronym has been expanded now to LGBTQIA; Q is for “queer” or “questioning,” I for “inter-sex,” and A for “asexual.”
It’s hard to talk about sex these days without talking about sexuality. The issues of sexuality and gender have been at the forefront of political and cultural discourse for some time, shifting aside only for the recent hype over the decriminalization of marijuana.
This still doesn’t cover all the ways people have begun to define their gender and sexuality. A relatively new term people have begun to use is “pansexual,” defined as being attracted to people regardless of gender. This term acknowledges those whose gender identity is not strictly male or female. The length of this banner may seem absurd, but it forces the question: how long will it have to get before we drop the labels altogether? This is not to criticize labels or say that they aren’t useful, but rather that as the lines between these labels start to blur, they may become irrelevant.
Since Massachusetts became the first state in the U.S. to legalize gay marriage almost a decade ago, 15 more states and Washington D.C. have followed. As of this past November, same-sex marriage is recognized here in New York. While we can expect it to be a long time before the whole country gets on board, there is no doubt that it is picking up momentum. Monitoring state legislature; however, will hardly give you a full picture of the evolution in attitude towards sexuality. These changes are indicative of a much more complex cultural turnaround. No longer is the dominant discourse telling people that their sexual preferences are wrong, illogical, or biologically impossible. Of course, these notions still exist, and in some places are still heavily embedded; but nowadays, even a closeted boy from an ultra-Christian small town Kansas can find groups of people who relate to and accept him, with a quick search of the internet. You could say it’s now easier than ever to “come out of the closet.” There is something even more revolutionary going on than the growing acceptance of sexual diversity. Homosexuality goes back almost as far as recorded history, and the attitudes towards it have varied between civilizations and over time. There has always been gay and straight– only recently are we being confronted with everything in between [EDITOR’S NOTE: There is exception to this… many Native tribes have a long history of not only recognizing, but embracing and exalting transgendered people, though the same cannot be said of dominant society in the history of Western Civilization]. If you’re still telling your friends how supportive you are of LGBT rights, you are already behind the times. The
We are already starting to see a culture that does not require individuals to label themselves by their sexual preferences. The hit 2013 Netflix series “Orange is the New Black” is at the forefront of this new idea in popular media. The protagonist’s former relationship with a woman is referred to as a “lesbian phase” by her friends and her (male) fiancé. But wait– does that mean that when she gets engaged to a man she’s a lesbian-turned-straight, and when she falls for her former lover again is she a straight-turned-lesbian? We don’t know, and Piper herself doesn’t seem to know, or to spend much time trying to figure it out. We can make it simple and say she’s bisexual– or pansexual– but the show asks us to look beyond that and to see Piper’s love story simply for what it is. The sexuality and gender revolution does not end with a welcome party waiting outside the closet for those who don’t see themselves as straight. Rather, we are moving towards a culture where there would be no need to “come out of the closet,” because nothing would be assumed about an individual’s preference in the first place. If a man kisses a man, there would be no inclination to ask, “So, does this mean you’re gay now?” This concept is incomprehensible to most of the older generation, and hard to grasp even for many of the younger generation. Gay rights and sexual equality are old news- what’s new and growing is the disposal of the gay-straight binary altogether. While it’s unlikely we will ever fully rid ourselves of these labels, the millennial generation is going to see less and less of gay and straight and a whole lot more of everything in-between.
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OLD PEOPLE SEX
February 2014 Triple Cities Carousel 13
Many years ago, I found myself sitting on my living room couch (at that awkward distance you sit from a first date), trying to make conversation. Suddenly, the small voice of my loud son (also known as the publisher of this intellectually stimulating tome), then aged 10, wafted in from the other room: “Mom,” he called, “do women have wet dreams?”
After a startled look, my formerly timid date fixed his gaze on me, hoping, apparently, to learn from my reply something about his chances to score. I’ve always tried to be honest with my son, and his question came as a result of my recent purchase of “The What’s Happening to My Body Book for Boys.” I’d gotten the book for him in response to some of his prepubescent questions. As I could find nothing I deemed suitably intelligent for young boys, I’d settled on one written for the adolescent. Not, perhaps, one of my more intelligent choices. So there I sat, rethinking the veracity of my purchase and trying to formulate a somewhat reasonable answer that would not embarrass me even further. I failed. After a moment frozen in time, I gave up and told him that we do. I suppose that goes a long way to explaining why he is the way he is now [EDITOR’S NOTE: scarred and jaded]. I was young then, much more easily mortified by such things. I come from a different generation than many of our esteemed readers. That does not make me old, it just makes me older than you. As long as I remain younger than some, I will continue to live in comfortable denial. I’ve had time to have more experiences than some (maybe less than others), and most importantly for the purpose of this article, I’ve had more time to talk about sex, analyze it, and laugh about it with my friends. When you no longer have any chance of looking cool, you give up and get honest. So here is a small bit of what I’ve learned… and am willing to tell. Other than the mechanics of it, so much my early beliefs about sex came from TV, movies and books: the myth of perfect sex. I believed that everyone else must actually be having perfect sex. Not wanting to be revealed to my peers as anything less than a sexual goddess, I wasn’t about to ask. Years later, when I did, I found out the truth: no one has perfect sex. Well, maybe one or two people on a remote mountain in the Himalayas, but they’re an anomaly and I’m too jealous to waste any time on them. Let’s take a quiz. Answer true or false to each of the following statements: -Your first time will be perfect. -You and your partner should instinctively know what to do. No explanation should be necessary. It’s supposed to come naturally. -If it’s “real” love, the sex will be effortless and perfect. Your partner will find every one of your erogenous zones, you will intuitively know where to find his/hers (and what to do with them), and you will both float away on a cloud of mutual orgasm that will last forever.
-You will never have the urge to fart, pee, or burp, during sex. No odd or embarrassing noises will ever emerge from any portion of your body. -Alcohol and/or drugs will enhance your performance.
The answer to all of the above is laughing so hard that a bit of spittle splatters on your knee. That being said, I believed this crap for decades. The reality is more along these lines: -Ask for what you need. Include specific directions and highlight the good parts. A map comes in handy. -Just because your last partner(s) loved it, does not mean your next will. Sex is not “one-size-fits-all” (pun intended). -If you don’t want your partner to run screaming from the room, ask before you do anything remotely peculiar. -Interrupting sex to answer the phone (or worse, text) is a buzz kill. Shut it off. -They are not knobs. You cannot change the channel with them. -Banging harder does not show how manly you are. It is not a substitute for good technique. She will not appreciate the black and blues and your landlord will not appreciate having to repair the sheetrock. -You are not done until your partner is also done. -If you fake pleasure, you will be stuck faking it forever, and it will never get better. -It’s not all about you. If you think it is, do it yourself and don’t waste your partner’s time. -“Let’s do it” is not foreplay. -Drool is not sexy. Not while kissing their mouth or anything else. -A word about socks. While wearing socks during sex is not a turn-on, cold feet that interfere with pleasure are worse. So is “icing” your partner during the good parts.
by Ronnie Vuolo
-Puking during sex is not a turn-on (before or after either). Control your urge to get totally trashed lest you violate this prohibition. -Calling out the name of your roommate’s girlfriend/boyfriend during sex is a bad thing. (This suggestion came from my beloved, but formerly misguided husband.)
It’s possible that things have changed so much since I was young that none of this applies to any of you. As a generation, you may have evolved so far, that this barely exists in the dark reaches of your atavistic memory. I suppose we were an ignorant lot in my day. Back then we had to walk 15 miles, uphill both ways, for some heavy petting. I’m sure you’re all much more savvy about sex than I was. On the other hand, I was a cop for over 20 years, and I’ve seen some pretty odd shit. I could shoot you, yunno. But that’s a story for another day. Happy Valentines Day! Go forth and practice.
(OR, ‘I’VE LIVED LONGER THAN YOU AND THIS IS WHAT I’VE LEARNED... AND I HAD BETTER TELL YOU FAST BECAUSE MY MEMORY SUCKS’)
14 Vol. 2 Issue 2
Masquerade Artisan E L Downey:
transcendence through the shadows. by Christopher Bodnarczuk
art (in bed).
February 2014 Triple Cities Carousel 15
An old Victorian couch leans against an exposed brick wall. Blood red and golden, there is something beautifully sinister about it. On the opposite wall hangs a gong, framing a mask of the horned demon of lust, Asmoday. A statue of the jackal god Anubis, preserver of bodies, watches from the corner. Masks line a long table and hang from a wrought iron chandelier, casting shadows on the small space and the staircase it overlooks. “I find that painting the gallery black weeds a lot of people out… but, I feel like the measure of light is the shadow it casts. If there’s not a balance, if you’re all one sided… then what are you doing here?” So wonders E.L. Downey, the artist behind Binghamton based Masquerade Artisan. Downey, who has gained acclaim the world over for her elaborate leather masks, certainly knows how to cast shadows. Her body of work- not just masks, but paintings, jewelry, costumes, and the occasional living canvas- exudes darkness. The soulless eye holes of unoccupied masks cast unsettling gazes across any room. Many of those masks extend up from the forehead, adorned with demon horns. Much of her work contains depictions of runes and references to the occult. And yet there is something sensual, almost erotic about it. Maybe it’s the curves of the masks. Maybe it’s the inevitable flashback to the orgy scene in Eyes Wide Shut. Maybe it’s the velvet couch. Maybe it’s the kink factor to the black walls of the studio. Maybe it’s the liberating idea of body paint. In any case, it is an alluring mixture, this sensual darkness. Downey grew up in the area, attending high school at Union-Endicott. Orazio Salati was an early teacher, instructing her in jewelry making and fiber arts. By 17 she was apprenticing with Future Relics in Johnson City. She was accepted to both FIT and Parson School of Design, but turned them down in favor of a more hands on education. “You create thirty pieces in a week instead of three in a semester,” she says of apprenticing. Around the same time, Downey was exploring a fascination with esoterica and the occult. She learned Visionary Art studying with Alex Grey, and spent
time at the Center for Symbolic Studies, where, inspired by Joseph Campbell, she became fascinated with the connection between masks and personal mythology. The runes and symbols she came across became an integral part of her art, which was more and more becoming mask making. Soon she was selling her masks both nationally and at regional events, such as the New York Renaissance Faire in Sterling Forest, and Fairie Fest in nearby Ouaquaga. “Though my work looks dark, it’s very rooted in esoteric balance. So I try to bring that into my mask making.” Roughly eight years ago, Brent Williamson bought the building that would eventually house Jungle Science and Gaslamp Gym. When Downey found out, she was the first one in. She set up the Masquerade Artisan studio overlooking the steps that now lead to Jungle Science, and has been there ever since. Downey and her art became an integral part in the shaping of what would soon become a stand alone gallery experience in Binghamton: a gallery full of several mini-galleries and private studios… an art laboratory, if you will. It often doubles as a performance space, full of Binghamton’s most creative creators, many of whom echo Downey’s dark approach to art. Last August, Jungle Science played host to the Dark Arts I exhibit, a group show featuring performance art, installations, and performance rituals. Downey and associates provided a sort of peek into the world of, well, Dark Arts. A giant pentagram was placed in the center of the gallery floor with suspension artists above, hooks through their skin being the only thing keeping them from falling to the floor below. Esoteric symbolism in both the rituals and the visual artwork, especially that of the demon Asmoday, cast a common, if terrifying scene. The show caused a stir for many, who mistook the themes for devil worship. “It doesn’t mean Black Mass. It doesn’t mean anything particularly Satanic or demonic… It’s more an amalgam of esoteric things that are provocative and disquieting. So, they bring about inner-personal change and empowerment that can be perceived as the left hand path, even though we don’t say it’s the left hand path. It’s not that we’re anti-Christian, it’s that we’re such an alchemical brew of symbolism and spiritualism. It’s more about empowering the artists that are drawn to this iconography.” It is a common misconception that “Dark Arts” translates to “worship the devil.” Even in what
many classify as Satanism, that’s just not the case. Where many shy away from darkness- from the shadows- because it makes them uneasy, those interested in the Dark Arts are more about the philosophy of embracing the shadows, simply because they exist. The world is about balance, and there is no balance if one accepts the light without the shadows, because there is no light if there is no shadow. The symbolismthe depictions of the pentagram and of Asmoday- are more theatrical than anything else. In fact, under everything, there is something refreshingly inspiring and accepting about it all. “A lot of these dark artists will go into these dark unusual places, and they come back with something completely unique. Is it shocking? Of course, it’s shocking to a lot of people because they just don’t know what to do with themselves and they turn around and leave. Other times, people are shocked by how much they feel at home; they find something they resonate with, something they feel in their core. And hopefully it will encourage them to seek their creative best. So that’s what I see the goal of Dark Arts being: a community of artists coming together, with similar interests, who can encourage and inspire each other through the arts.”
Downey has also been integral in creating what has now become a highly anticipated annual event in Binghamton: the Living Canvases Masquerade. Each year, a slew of willing locals strip down and line up to get their bodies painted. They spend the early part of the evening as breathing exhibits at Jungle Science, and then party the night away at the after-hours Masquerade Ball. At this year’s event, which takes place on April 4th, Downey will share painting duties with Vann Godfrey and Shara Osgood. In creating the pair of covers for this month’s issue of Carousel, Downey brought in elements from both Dark Arts and Living Canvases. Both models- Timothy Oliver and Hinawere painted head to toe and adorned with masks. Timothy appears as the aforementioned Asmoday, the demon of lust. Asmoday is a mythological figure that appears, in one way or another, in both Christian and Pagan texts. He is known as the overseer of the section of Hell reserved for the most enjoyable of the seven deadly sins. One day, Downey’s husband Daniel Kicinski, head body piercer and proprietor of Shamen’s Den Body Arts, came home with a strange symbol carved in his back: the symbol of Asmoday. Thus began a fascination for Downey, who has been in-
corporating the mythos into her work ever since. On the other cover image, Amber poses seductively in the gallery, wearing only Downey’s paint and a handmade leather mask. There’s no dark imagery in this piece; rather, the art speaks for itself. As a pairing, the images mimic the duality of the God and the Goddess, which in turn alludes to the same balance and duality Downey incorporates into individual pieces: masculine vs. feminine, light vs. darkness, yin vs. yang. Downey came to body painting the way many do- on a whim. While attending the Free Spirit Drum Festival, she saw others being painted, and decided to join in on the experience. “I’d gone through some difficult times as a teenage girl: self-confidence and body image issues. I saw them being painted and thought ‘that’s something I want to try!’ I’m pretty adventurous, after all.’ Afterwards, people I didn’t even know were coming up and telling me how beautiful I was. To me, it was ‘I can actually be art.’ It was freeing the mind through the body, somehow.” Downey wanted to be able to stir these same feelings of transcendence in others, and has been painting bodies ever since. “Everyone deserves to be empowered, and to feel that they’re achieving their personal best. And if a piece of art can inspire that transformation, that’s what I want people to have.” This is really the true theme of Downey’s work. It is not about darkness, though it is often quite dark. It is not about symbolism, though it is usually full of mythos. It is not about sex, though there is an undeniable sexuality to the masks and the body paint. The true theme of Downey’s work is empowerment, and the journey towards self-affirmation. “It’s like the alchemical process of turning lead into metaphoric gold. Picking materia prima, and forming it into that perfect circle. And that perfect circle is your center of self. I feel like the masks are part of that crown jewel that radiates from within.” Those interested in finding out more about the art of E.L. Downey, or ordering a custom mask, are encouraged to check out masqueradeartisan.com. Downey’s gallery, within the walls of Jungle Science, is open for viewing during the monthly First Friday Art Walk, and by appointment. Her masks will also be on display during the month of March at Lost Dog Café, in keeping with the theme of Mardis Gras. On Fat Tuesday, she will be onsite at the café all day, selling her art and painting the public.
WINDSOR GALLERY WHIPS IT REAL GOOD
16 Vol. 2 Issue 2
Value of Collecting Art, The Artist Portfolio in a Digital Age, and a panel on art therapy.
Kaitlin Mooney Staff Writer
Since its inception, Windsor Whip Works has been an important player in the community. WWWAC is very influential in Windsor’s annual Window on the Arts Festival, as well as the annual puppet parade on New Years Eve during First Night Windsor. In addition, the center teams up with the local school district to put on an annual student art show. A grant provides the funding for students, elementary through high school, to see their artwork mounted and framed on the gallery walls. Talented adults have a chance to gain recognition too when the gallery hosts members only exhibits, shedding light on the area’s homegrown talent. The center has “discovered an insatiable appetite in the surrounding area for creative expression.” The 2014 members-only show will be on exhibit from February 8th to March 1st.
This being Carousel’s Sex Issue, you may be getting the wrong idea about Windsor Whip Works (not that we planned it that way or anything). Nestled off Route 17 is the quaint town of Windsor: the town center boasts a model train hobby shop, public library, town hall, barber shop, pub, and a seemingly out of place metropolitan art gallery. Windsor Whip Works Art Center resides in an 1874 Italianate building, home to the Windsor Whip Works Buggy Whip Factory more than sixty years ago. The Art Center has been revitalizing the small community and surrounding towns through exhibitions, seminars, field trips, classes and workshops. This determined nonprofit organization rallies for art appreciation and creation in eastern Broome County, Delaware County, and northeastern Pennsylvania, where the current economic climate has thrown fine arts to the wayside. If there was ever a story of humble beginnings, it is the story of Windsor Whip Works. The Windsor Whip Works Buggy Whip Factory opened its doors in 1901 and prospered until the advent of the automobile made their product obsolete. In 1951 the doors closed and wouldn’t open again until 1999, when a couple of transplants from the North Shore of Long Island saw potential in the historic building. Bill and Johanne Pesce saw past the sunken roof and water stained walls of the long abandoned factory; they saw the upscale gallery that it is today. It took five years of painstaking restoration for the Art Center to rise from the ashes of the dilapidated whip factory. The three-story building was completely redone, keeping to the architectural integrity of the original structure, and named in honor of its beginnings. Even the bathroom tiles were carefully laid in the original Italianate style. “I thought it would be offensive to have a different style,” explains Pesce. The basement became a work area, where classes and workshops are held, with the first and second floors acting as a cosmopolitan exhibition space. A beautiful balcony adorns each floor; visitors are encouraged to sit and enjoy the view of fields stretching to the Susquehanna River, a view unmarred by modern day obstructions. In 2008, the gallery underwent yet another transformation when it become Windsor Whip
For those looking to create art, WWWAC offers fine art classes and workshops to young and old alike. Classes have been offered in: computer graphics, drawing, painting, open studio, solar etching, printmaking, fiber art portraits, plein air (outdoor landscape), and still life. Instructors vary from Windsor residents (past and present), to worldrenowned masters. Open studio classes with nude models are available year round. A morning session is held Wednesdays, from 9:30am to 12:30pm, and a night session is available on Thursdays, from 6 to 9pm. The three-hour sessions begin with 10 oneminute poses, thereafter increasing to five, ten and thirty minute poses. A package of 5 sessions costs $60 for nonmembers. Sessions do not need to be used consecutively and there is no expiration date. Walk-ins are welcome to any session for $15. Making all this possible is a generous grant from the George A. and Margret Mee Charitable Foundation.
“Raymond at Sixteen” by Jean Luongo, on display at Windsor Whip Works as part of this month’s group show.
Works Art Center (WWWAC), a nonprofit organization serving the community through the visual arts. Owner Bill Pesce spent the first half of his life running his own advertising venture in NYC. Today he dedicates his time to the Art Center, seeking funding through various grants. “My early life was creating. Now I write grants. It’s like punishment,” laughs Pesce from his second floor office. Through the tireless effort of the Pesces and other board members, WWWAC has been making waves within the community and beyond, drawing visitors from all over the state and bringing master artists from various disciplines to teach workshops.
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The gallery is a place of inclusiveness. “We show all kinds of art: pottery, impressionism, abstract, jewelry, etching..I want people to come here and hang around. I want this to be a destination. In other galleries you get a swig of wine, put some cheese on a cracker and leave. Here, we have artists get up and talk, and have people ask questions.” WWWAC hopes to foster discussion of the arts. They hold bi-monthly Art Alliance meetings where the public can enjoy guest speakers, live music, and more than the cursory “swing of wine.” Past seminars have included: Art of the Holocaust, How to Critically Look at a Painting, The Art Scene in Paris, The
On March 8th, WWWAC is offering a bus trip to the Barnes Museum in Philadelphia. Tickets are $80 (which includes the $20 museum entry fee), and should be reserved by February 8th. The day trip will allow art lovers to socialize and experience world-class art as a group. The Rodin Museum, Philadelphia Museum of Arts, Franklin Institute and the Philadelphia Flower show are within walking distance. A light breakfast will be served on the way there, and wine and cheese will accompany the ride home. The bus will pick up and drop off in Binghamton. For more information, check out Windsor Whip Works Art Center on Facebook. Become a member of Windsor Whip Works Art Center to receive discounts on classes and trips, and help support future programs and events in the community! You can visit WWWAC at 98 Main Street in Windsor or check out whipworksartgallery. org.
February 2014 Triple Cities Carousel 17
BLUE ORCHID ARCHETYPE CELEBRATES OPENING WITH JUNGLE SCIENCE PARTY
Chris Bodnarczuk Editor-in-Chief
“We have a deaf tranny unicyclist performing throughout the night. He doesn’t juggle, but he’s pretty amazing at what he does!” If the RVSP list for Blue Orchid Ascension doesn’t heft up from that teaser, then all hope is lost. Of course, all hope is never lost for the quoted party, Amber Tedesco. When Blue Orchid Spa, which Tedesco ran on Court Street until late 2013, closed down, a lesser woman would call it quits. Rather, Tedesco called up some friends, found a new space and a new focus, and set to work on a new enterprise. That new enterprise is Blue Orchid Archetype, and it’s a little bit of everything. Tedesco, who taught an assortment of classes at the spa when massages weren’t in session, will continue to do so, albeit from a new base of operations- Jungle Science Art Laboratories. So there’s the classes: bellydancing, hoop dancing, contortion, silk dancing, yoga, etc. Then there’s the event promotion and talent hiring: DJs, musicians, deaf transvestite unicyclists, performers of all sorts- BOA aims to provide all of that to customers. And while we’re counting, let’s throw in some costume design as well: “I design and make all costumes that me and my performers wear for events… anything out of the or-
dinary and different as far as costumes, I can make it!” It sounds confusing on paper, we know. But that’s why Tedesco (and business partner Theao Allen) are throwing a launch party- the aforementioned Blue Orchid Ascension. The event, which takes place at Jungle Science (33 Court St, Binghamton) on February 22, from 9pm-2am, will showcase all that Blue Orchid Archetype has to offer… plus booze! The evening will be highlighted by the unicyclist’s performance, obviously, but also by special showcases of bellydancing, hoop art, and poi. Drag queen Jazmyn Heights will be performing, and there will even be dance routines featuring bull whips and swords. For those looking to heat things up a bit more, fire massage will be offered throughout the evening: “We use a wood dowel type thing, wrapped in cotton and soaked in alcohol. It’s used to massage the skin: it heats the muscles and releases toxins. So, we actually light people on fire. It’s very centric. Very calming.” DJs will be spinning throughout the event- locals DJ Boaks and DJ Moonboots, as well as JT from Syracuse. And, for those looking to quench their thirst, beer and wine will be sold for a minimal fee. Entry to this 21+ event is $5. Blue Orchid Ascension tales place on February 22nd, from 9pm-2am. For more information, check out Blue Orchid Archetype on facebook.
SPOOL MFG OPENS 2014 SEASON
WITH NEW MEMBER SHOW
via Web
Spool Mfg. Contemporary Art Space will open its 2014 exhibition season with a group show entitled “Amnesties.” Billed as “a multimedia collection of contemporary works”, Amnesties will feature collage, drawing, painting, print, ceramic art, installation, and video works. The artists exhibiting are Kyle Balles, Debora Bernagozzi, Jason Bernagozzi, Don Demauro, Justin Frost, Robert Fundis, Aaron A. Harrison, Alexander Leiss, Monteith McCollum, Melissa Mischke, Brian Murphy, and Zach Seeger, a roster which is comprised almost evenly of Spool Mfg. veterans and firsttime exhibitors.
“Amnesties” is the fifth in a series of like-named shows for Spool Mfg… the first dates back to 2006. As philosopher and critic Walter Benjamin said, “Every image of the past that is not recognized by the present as one of its own concerns threatens to disappear irretrievably.” It is with this thought in mind that Spool Mfg. attempts to continue its momentum, while regarding its past. With respect for Spool’s decade-long history and foundations, and yet the air of leniency and forgiveness that the name implies, these group shows bring together widely disparate works to create new discussions, presenting the old with the new in provocative, striking, often jarring, and occasionally comical ways. The opening reception for Amnesties will take place on Saturday, February 15th, from 7pm to 10pm. The closing reception will be on March 15 2014, from 7 to 10 pm. Spool Mfg. is located at 138 Baldwin Street in Johnson City. Gallery hours and group tours are available by appointment via spoolmfg. org. All events are free and open to the public.
triple cities carousel sunday.
(AC) Anderson Center (ALP82) American Legion Post 82 (BBW) Black Bear Winery (BCAC) Broome County Arts Council (BEL) Belmar Pub (BEMS) Bing. East Middle School (BTP) Blind Tiger Pub (BOB) Bobby’s Place (BU) Binghamton University (BUN) Bundy Museum (BWSC) Binghamton West Sr. Center
02 09 16 23
Les Miserables (FHS) Mobius Ensemble (BU) Out of Order (CMP)
Don Giovanni (FORUM) Out of Order (CMP) Courtship Tails (RPZ) As You Like It (TACP)
7 Deadly Sins (AC) Second Sunday Concert (PMM) Out of Order (CMP) Tommy Z & the Boys (FHS) Sunday Social Dance (ALP82) Courtship Tails (RPZ) Contra Dance (TTC) As You Like It (TACP)
Dance Stories: Portraits of NY (EPAC) Soweto Gospel Choir (AC) Out of Order (CMP) Model Train & Doll Fair (ROB) As You Like It (TACP)
monday.
tuesday.
(CCH) Cranberry Coffee House (CCW) Cyber Café West (CI) Choconut Inn (CMP) Cider Mill Playhouse (DTB) Downtown Binghamton (DTO) Downtown Owego (EPAC) Endicott Performing Arts Center (FHS) Firehouse Stage (FIVE) Number 5 (FORUM) Binghamton Forum Theatre (GXY) Galaxy Brewing Co.
(GXY) Galaxy Brewing Co. (JBC) John Barleycorn (KING) Kingsley’s Pub (KS) Kalurah Shrine (LDC) Lost Dog Café/Lounge (MB) Matty B’s (MOS) Mosquito Lounge (OTS) Otsiningo Park (OUH) Old Union Hotel (PMM) Phelps Mansion Museum (PW) Prototype Workshop
03 10 17 24
Open Mic (BEL) Open Mic w/ Dan P. (KING) Comedy Writing Workshop (BUN)
Iroquois Beadwork Exhibit (PMM) Open Mic (BEL) Open Mic w/ Dan P. (KING) Comedy Writing Workshop (BUN)
Remembering Willie Reardon (PMM) Open Mic (BEL) Open Mic w/ Dan P. (KING) Comedy Writing Workshop (BUN) Downtown Book Club (RRB)
Remembering Edwin Link (PMM) Open Mic (BEL) Open Mic w/ Dan P. (KING) Comedy Writing Workshop
04 11 18 25
FEBRUAR
Yoga/Drawing Lessons (BUN) Jan Fiore Intro to Brain Gym (RRB) Speakeasy Open Mic (CCW)
Menopause: The Musical (FORUM) Yoga/Drawing Classes (BUN) Milkweed (OUH) Love it Is (RRB)
Yoga/Drawing Classes (BUN)
Yoga/Drawing Classes (BUN) Milkweed (OUH)
wedne
(ROB) Roberson Museum (RRB) RiverRead Books (RPZ) Ross Park Zoo (TACP) Ti-Ahwaga Comm (TC) Terra Cotta (TCO) Tri-Cities Opera Ce (TMC) Trinity Memorial Ch
05 12 19 26
Hidd Open Jazz J
Menopaus Haifa Symph Primal Beat
Open Jazz J
Puzzled Playe Primal Beat
RY 2014
esday. thursday.
events calendar
friday.
m
munity Players
enter hurch
den in Plain Sight (FUMC) Jam w/Miles Ahead (LDC) Live Music (KING) Open Mic (JBC)
se: The Musical (FORUM) hony Orch. Of Israel (AC) Live Music (KING) Open Drum Circle (BUN) Jamie Willlard (CCW) Open Mic (JBC) Comedy Open Mic (MB)
Jam w/Miles Ahead (LDC) Live Music (KING) Open Mic (JBC) Superstar Runner (CCW)
ers Comedy Improv (LDC) Open Drum Circle (BUN) Live Music (KING) Open Mic (JBC) Comedy Open Mic (MB) Dirty Moon Frank (CCW)
06 13 20 27
Spectacular Average Boys (GXY) West Coast Swing Lessons (BWSC) Chris Mollo (BTP) Out of Order (CMP) InnerMission (CCW)
Vermont Cheddar (BTP) Out of Order (CMP) InnerMission (CCW) The Ruffo Brothers Grim (GXY) Cult Movie Thursdays (BUN) West Coast Swing Lessons (BWSC) Local Hip Hop (MOS)
Kevin Ludwig CD Release Party (GXY) West Coast Swing Lessons (BWSC) Enerjee with Ayana D (LDC) Chris Mollo (BTP) Out of Order (CMP) InnerMission (CCW) Local Hip Hop (MOS) Cult Movie Thursdays (BUN)
Vermont Cheddar (BTP) InnerMission (CCW) Woodshed Prophets (GXY) Cult Movie Thursdays (BUN)
07 14 21 28
Stratospheerius (CCW), Art Walk (DTB) Prof. Cohen: Ragtime & Vaudeville (BCAC) Don Giovanni (FORUM) For Our Hearts (PMM) Live Music (BBW), Sonando (LDC) Splash (FIVE), Rick Iacovelli (BTP) Out of Order (CMP) The Troubadours (BOB) Mary Tewksbury & Friends (OUH) As You Like It (TACP) Art Show (RRB), Comedy Jam (BUN)
7 Deadly Sins (AC), The Damn Choir (LDC) Peaches & Crime Murder/Mystery (ROB) Thom and Beth (BTP) Out of Order (CMP) NYC Ladies of Laughter (FHS) Jeff Love Band (CCW) Brotherhood (FIVE) Dan Pokorak (OUH) Rooster & Roadhouse Horns (TC) As You Like It (TACP), Music (BBW), Yesterday’s Baby (RRB),Kickstart (MOS)
Poetry Open Mic (RRB), Out of Order (CMP) Dance Stories: Portraits of NY (EPAC) Live Music (BBW) Matuto (CCW) Katie Scott w/Persuasion (FIVE) Third Friday Art Walk (DTO) Mary Tewksbury & Friends (OUH) Mason Warrington Dance (KS) Hobo Bonfire (BBW) As You Like It (TACP) Electronica w/DJ OFace (MOS) Splat the Cat Coloring Contest (FHS) Caitlyn Westfall: A NY State of Mind (FHS) Live Music (BBW) Woodshed Prophets (BOB) Chris Cernak (CCW) Brotherhood (FIVE) Dan Pokorak (OUH) Lisa Harris (RRB)
saturday.
01 08 15 22
Les Miserables (FHS), Operalogue (TCO) BU Chamber/Orch. Concert (TMC) Our Friends Band (LDC) Out of Order (CMP) EPAC Idol Finals (EPAC) HiWay Fruit Market (BOB) Milkweed (CCW) Chief Bigway/Joey Belladonna (CI) Quatro Blue (OUH) Highline (MOS) Rooster & the Roadhouse Horns (FIVE)
Robert Post: One Man Variety Show (FHS) Delta Blues w/Gerard Burke (BTP) Out of Order (CMP) Giant Steps (BOB) Wreckless Marci (CI) Cupid’s Chase 5k (OTS) Courtship Tails (RPZ) The Hilltoppers (TTC) As You Like It (TACP) For Our Hearts (PMM) Many Hands Food Co-op Fundraiser (CCW) Devin Spears Talent Showcase (EPAC) Rhoda Lerman (RRB), 7 Deadly Sins (AC) Out of Order (CMP) Odd Man Out (BOB) Karaoke (CCW) Binghamton Philharmonic (FORUM) Beauty & the Beats (FIVE) Genessee Ted (CCH) Music of the Future (PW) Courtship Tails (RPZ) As You Like It (TACP)
Binghamton Comm. Orch.: Mardi Gras (BEMS) Dance Stories: Portraits of NY (EPAC) The Fat Peace (LDC) Out of Order (CMP) Moho Collective (CCW) Rodney Carrington (FORUM) 2nd Edition w/Mary Meier (FIVE) As You Like It (TACP) Wreckless Marci (MOS)
The Triple Cities Carousel Events Calendar is featured each month as a courtesy to our advertisers, however we welcome everyone to submit their events to calendar@triplecitiescarousel.com by the 15th of the month prior to publication. Space is limited, so calendar entries, which have no cost, are picked on a first come/ first serve basis. Triple Cities Carousel reserves the right to reject any submission deemed to be non-arts related, or, well, for any reason.
COOP GALLERY PRESENTS
20 Vol. 2 Issue 2
DUO SHOW OF
‘INNER REFLECTIONS’
WITH KAREN KUFF-DEMICCO AND BARBARA BERNSTEIN
“Blue Odal” by Barbara Bernstein.
Rose Silberman-Gorn Staff Writer From February 7th to March 1st, Karen Kuff-Demicco and Barbara Bernstein will be displaying their work at a joint show at the Cooperative Gallery entitled Inner Reflections: Works from the Kiln. Longtime members of the Cooperative Gallery, the two artists have displayed their work together twice before. “Showing with Karen makes me stop and think,” says Barbara. “There are many similarities and differences in our work. We both work from the figure, but are complete opposites when it comes to our techniques.” Barbara and Karen share similar subject matter, as well as similar tales of how they wound up in the Southern Tier. Barbara worked as a computer programmer for 36 years in New York City, and moved to Triangle, New York in 2000 after putting her sons through college. She began making art after this move, finding that the peace and quiet of Triangle was the perfect opportunity to express herself artistically through glass.
Karen, on the other hand, worked as a geologist for Maryland Geological Survey, then moved with her husband to Binghamton in 1983. Her love of natural materials led her to explore the medium of clay, and she earned a BFA in sculpture from Binghamton University. Having recently returned from artist residencies at Anderson Ranch in Colorado and Watershed Center for Ceramic Arts in Maine, she’s excited to display some of the new work she created there. Karen’s most recent work focuses mainly on the face. Her specialty is small terra cotta clay heads, which sometimes incorporate different mediums such as wood or metal. She thinks of these heads as individual characters, each meant to have a story behind them that is up for the viewer’s interpretation. “I want to tell stories with my work, things I’ve observed about human activities or things I’ve experienced,” she says. Her small heads tell an even larger story when they are installed in a large group on a wall, causing them to interact with each other. Barbara’s brightly colored, smooth glass pieces and Karen’s small, detailed heads are sure to tell an interesting story together for the duration of the show.
Community members and fellow artists are invited to enjoy Barbara and Karen’s work in an opening Why choose to work with reception on February glass? “I love the col7th from 6-9pm, comor and light that comes plete with samples from through it,” Barbara ex- “Reflections” by Karen Kuff-Demico. plains. “With glass, you can play with transparency 3 Sisters Pastries, as well as a closing reception on and your sculptures kind of glow, emanating colors March 1st from 1-3pm. In addition, the Cooperaand light.” Glass also complements Barbara’s sub- tive Gallery will also be hosting a Third Thursday ject matter: organic, abstracted female bodies that discussion about the show on February 20th from almost resemble landscapes. She wants her sculp- 7-9pm. Cooperative Gallery 213 is open 3-6 PM tures to convey a nurturing, maternal spirit through on Fridays and 12-4pm on Saturdays, and can be reached at (607)724-3462. their soft, rounded lines and shapes.
music (in bed).
February 2014 Triple Cities Carousel 21
SENDING A MESSAGE OF LOVE: Soweto Gospel Choir. Photo Provided.
THE SOWETO GOSPEL CHOIR
Heather Merlis Assistant Editor
If music is the only thing better than love, then Binghamton is about to have the encounter of a lifetime. The Soweto Gospel Choir is making its way to the Anderson Center, and I had the incredible honor to dial up Johannesburg, South Africa, and speak with Shimmy Jiyane, an integral member of the group. vvv What is your role in the choir? I am the choirmaster, choreographer, and one of the lead singers of the choir. Could you tell me about how the choir was formed? It was formed in 2002 in downtown Johannesburg in a town called Yeoville, to showcase the different cultures, faiths, and music that we have in our country, and to make people listen to the gospel that we do in South Africa. You started out as a dancer. Could you describe your transition from dance to becoming more interested in singing? Well, I was a freelance dancer, and I used to do a lot of ballet and contemporary; I am trained in dance. My first love for music actually started when I came to the choir in 2002. They were trying out singers; I went in and auditioned, and I sang, and they loved my voice, and I was like, ‘Wow.’” I thought, this was the beginning of good things, and I took it from there.
As the choir’s choreographer, how do you create movement for gospel music? You know we are South Africans, and you know that in Africans, rhythm and beat is part of our life. Every time when there is a song playing in South Africa, especially when it is at a church, we don’t just sing and stand; we sing and do movement. So, most of my movements would come from what we used to do long time ago, when our grand dads and others would teach us. Each and every culture in South Africa has its own dance, so, I take from that and I mix it with my own dance, so that I can form something that Soweto Gospel Choir would be recognized for. Do you have any remarkable memories or experiences with the choir that you care to share? The story that really stands out for us is going all over the world. Our first concert was in Australia and we sold out. After that, people started looking at us and recognizing us. That just amazed me, and it never faded away. The other thing was when we sang for the late Nelson Mandela in Cape Town. That was mind-blowing, seeing him coming on stage, and also being friends with the late Nelson Mandela, whereby everything that we do, he is part of it. When we won our first Grammy, we took the Grammy to him. And then when we started singing, he was not there; he came late and he stopped the choir. He said, “How can you sing without me? Start the song from the top so that we can all sing.” It was lovely, and he was dancing right next to us.
After he passed away, how did you, as a choir, honor him? We honored him with a song. We sang, because, all of the time, from the apartheid era, to where we are now, we always believed in singing, we always believed in harmony, we always believed in peace, every time. When we were down, every time... when you feel like there’s something wrong, you know? And then when he died,
that’s how we felt. We felt lonely; we felt...like we lost our father. He was the father of the nation. He was the icon. I’m standing here, talking to you from the States, and it’s because of what he fought for. You know, he was a man of peace. He taught us to forgive, but not to forget. He taught us to move on with our lives and be positive in life. So, that’s how we felt, and to make sure that everything we that felt was going to be there, we had to sing a song, “Asimbonanga Mandela.”
What kind of material are you going to be performing on your tour of the United States? We are celebrating the tenth anniversary of our first time coming to the States. So we are going to mix all of the favorite songs that the people loved when they started seeing us, with the songs that we have now. So we are bringing a beautiful, vibrant, high-energy show for the audience in America. We just want to come there and blow people’s minds with beautiful music. Could you describe what Soweto is like? Soweto is a ghetto. The word “Soweto” stands for “South Western Township.” It’s got a population of, like, 4.5 million people living there. So, all the beautiful music and rich history that you want to hear: that’s what Soweto is all about. What kinds of people make up the choir? I work with people that are very courageous; I work with people that are very bubbly. I work with a family that loves and respects one another. And I work with people, that, sometimes, we’re crazy. We make jokes. We play with plates while we are waiting for our dinner before the show, and we make music out of that. Every time, when we’re sitting and waiting for something, we create something. It feels good to perform with a whole lot of people who love what they do, people who’ve got passion for what they
do. And all of us, we know where we come from; we know what happened before; we know why we’re doing this. It feels good; it’s a beautiful feeling. We just love it. How would you describe a performance of the choir to someone who’s never experienced it before? It’s a high-energy, extravagant show with dancers, singers, a four-piece band and djembe players. You will see the beautiful colors and costumes; you will see the Rainbow Nation. In our country, we have eleven official languages, and in our show we sing in six of those. Why would you say that your music is important to the entire world? It’s the music that is fresh to people’s ears. It speaks about positiveness in life. We always spread the word of love and happiness, joy and peace. I might be singing in a language that you don’t even hear what I’m saying, but with the connection of the song and the emotions that I put in that song, it’s just going to blow you away. You end up smiling at the end, and probably crying, not because you are sad, but because of the beauty that gets into you ear while you’re listening to me. Is there anything that you want to add? I just want to say to the people that you must come in numbers, come enjoy beautiful South African music, and come and vibe with us.
vvv The Soweto Gospel Choir will be performing on Sunday, February 13th at Binghamton University’s Anderson Center at 3pm. Ticket are $45 for the general public, $40 for faculty/staff and senior citizens, and $22 for students.
HAILANDS FA SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA AT ANDERSON CENTER
22 Vol. 2 Issue 2
Ronnie Vuolo Assistant Editor
Last month, The Haifa Symphony Orchestra, under the direction of the charismatic Principal Guest Conductor Boguslaw Dawidow, embarked on a three month tour of the United States, their first ever U.S. tour. With a limited number of engagements, The Anderson Center for the Performing Arts is fortunate indeed to be one of those so blessed. On Wednesday, February 12th, at 8pm, local audiences will be treated to selections, including: “Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 6 in B Minor, Op. 74”; Maria von Weber’s “Overture of the Opera Euryanthe,” and Rachmaninov’s “Piano Concerto No. 2 in C Minor, Op. 18.” Graced with the presence of two extraordinary soloists: pianist, Roman Rabinovich, and violinist, Avshalom Sarid, the performance promises to be a musical treasure. Having begun his musical studies at the age of 6 in his native Uzbekistan, Roman Rabinovich immigrated to Israel in 1994, where he made his professional debut at age 10 with the Israel Philharmonic, conducted by the inimitable Zubin Mehta. The 28 year-old virtuoso is the 2008 winner of the Arthur Rubinstein International Piano Master Competition, and the recipient of numerous other international honors. He has been the featured soloist
with orchestras throughout Europe, Israel and the United States, has graced the stage at major international festivals, and performed in such venues as the Moscow Conservatory, the Kennedy Center for Performing Arts, and Carnegie Hall. In addition to being an acclaimed violinist, Israeli born Avshalom Sarid is a music producer and a teacher at the Jerusalem Academy of Music and Dance. Sarid has performed as a principal player, first violinist, and soloist, with orchestras such as the Maggio Musicale Orchestra, of Florence, Italy, the Israel Philharmonic, the Jerusalem Symphony Orchestra, and the Ra’anana Symphony Orchestra. Founded in 1950, The Haifa Symphony Orchestra is the main musical institution in the north of Israel. Over the years their influence has extended throughout the country, where they have become an integral part of modern day Israel’s musical foundation. In keeping with their goal of promoting Israeli culture, the orchestra serves as a conduit for Israeli soloists, conductors, and composers. As a result of their efforts to promote original Israeli music, they have been awarded the prestigious ‘Prime Minister’s Award.’ Tickets for this one time performance can be purchased at the Box Office, on the Binghamton University Campus, weekdays between noon and 5:30pm, or online at anderson.binghamton.edu. The cost for the general public is $45; faculty/staff, $40; senior citizens, $40; students, $22. For tickets and further information, call 607-777-ARTS.
SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEART’S CLUB BALL CELEBRATES 50 YEARS OF BEATLEMANIA
Kaitlin Mooney Staff Writer
Calling all lonely hearts! February marks the 50th Anniversary of the Beatles’ invasion of the U.S. Equinox Broadcasting, with a little help from their friends, will be throwing the biggest Beatles bash this side of Liverpool in downtown Binghamton. Saturday, February 22nd, will be a hard day’s night of pure Beatlemania, including live music by the Beatle Band, trivia, and a special guest appearance by internationally acclaimed John Lennon tribute artist, Dave Pal. The Beatles took the United States by storm fifty years ago, and the storm hasn’t let up. The Beatles remain one of the most influential musical groups in American culture today. Equinox Broadcasting, responsible for many locally owned radio stations in Binghamton and the surrounding area, understands the importance the Beatles had on the American musical landscape. Joyce Knapik, General Sales Manager at Equinox Broadcasting, spearheaded this project because the Beatles are so darn important to radio. In the words of Dave Pal, “The band’s appearance on the Ed Sullivan show marks the moment that changed everything in popular music. It not only gave us our first look at the group, but opened up the flood gates for all of the other British bands and musicians that would follow. Many of today’s musicians were influenced by seeing the band on that day and became involved in music because of it. Everything became different, from the way popular music was written and
produced, to hairstyles, fashion, and attitude, and all because of The Beatles.” Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Ball is the perfect way to relive the Beatlemania of the sixties. Binghamton’s The Beatle Band will be playing classic favorites for fans to sing along and dance to. Don’t fret while the band is off stage, the 13 CD Beatles 50th Anniversary Anthology, featuring music from 1964’s “Meet the Beatles” to 1970’s “Hey Jude,” playing on 2 big screen videos will keep the dance floor active. Brush up your knowledge for Beatles trivia (with prizes sponsored by Music City, your local Beatles collectables headquarters, featuring the area’s biggest selection of musical memorabilia). If trivia isn’t your strong suit, you can still come home with a souvenir photo of you with the Beatles! Bobby K Entertainment will provide a green screen with Beatles backdrops, where you can pose to your hearts content. If you are lucky you may be able to get John Lennon to sign it for you, in the form of special guest Dave Pal, a John Lennon tribute artist and actor who has earned respect at Beatles festivals in America and England. Pal has been performing as John Lennon for more than twenty years. From Beatles tribute bands, to the national touring company of “Beatlemania Again” and his own one-man show, “The Lennon Legacy,” Dave Pal knows Lennon, and Beatles music, inside out and played several times at the legendary Cavern Club in Liverpool, England. Fresh from performances in Japan, South Korea, and China, we are lucky to have him here in Binghamton. Young and old, everyone loves the Beatles. Share the love, have some fun, and appreciate the music and culture of the Beatles. “Come together” on the 22nd, from 8pm to 1am at the Holiday Inn Arena Ballroom, 2 Hawley Street in Binghamton, to celebrate the Fab Four. The $5 “ticket to ride” can be purchased at the door.
PEACHES AND CRIME:
February 2014 Triple Cities Carousel 23
VAUDEVILLE, MURDER, AND SEX a tune in a bucket with handles,” adds Angie, his wife. With a love for theatre and an admiration for the Marx Brothers, they felt it necessary to recreate what made the performing arts what it is today and to bring back a time period that a lot of people didn’t get to experience.
Ty Whitbeck Creative Consultant
On the streets of old Binghamton, I hear the call and I’m beckoned to move in rhythm to the croons and the caws of a drawn out blood melody coming straight out of the Prohibition Era. The doors are locked at this speakeasy, but a slit just about eye-level opens up and a squirrelly voice cries out from behind the steel plate, “Y’got the word?”
“When I was in college I had a hard time balancing my two loves: theatre and music. It was often a struggle between a band taking time away from being in a musical, and then a musical taking time away from the band. So this was the best way to combine the things that I love, in one holistic project,” says Angie. The concept started off small, but over time has grown into the spectacle that we witnessed tonight.
“Yeah,” I say, and I give a few raps on the door to let ’em know. I’m led in by a good man in a fancy black overcoat, top hat and cane, to the sound of clarinets, trombones, and ragtime piano complemented by Mae West-inspired vocals. Stepping just past the doorman and escorting me in with an extended right hand, I’m introduced to Peaches & Crime: a vaudevillian, slapstick-style variety show of the 1930s. “Enjoy,” he says, as I take my seat. The guys in the band don formal three-piece suits and cufflinks, while the ladies fashion pearl necklaces, fishnet stockings, and long black gloves to accompany their dresses. After a song about Helmira (an 1860s Confederate prison camp), a Master of Ceremonies leads us into the next number, a tune about guns and liquor. After the set, I convene with some of the troupe to discuss the act.
on the ivories. The special part of the evening, not that the booze drinking and rabblerousing aren’t enough, are the Masters of Ceremonies. The entertainers between tunings are Professor C. Henry Berman (who also doubles as soundman) and Mr. Danny Black, who works to keep the people laughing at any given moment.
Peaches & Crime have been bringing the theatre style of the 1920s, 30s and 40s back to life, with every note sung through front lady Angie Diamond’s Super 55 microphone, since 2009. Playing all original music, she is backed by two lovely ladies, Ms. Abbigail Pins (vocals/trombone) and Young Catherine (vocals/clarinet). Behind them stand the fellas. There’s Stephen Longfield on the bass guitar, Ross on drums, and Mikey the Fist rounding it out
In the days of vaudeville, the Master of Ceremonies introduced the acts, provided the jokes and hype between songs, and dealt with hecklers accordingly. Danny Black may modestly consider himself the most important part of the show. Without him, the audience would lose interest, futz with their technology from the future or, heaven forbid, go relieve themselves. But Danny has them hooked. Often making the patrons a part of the show, the audi-
ence is a huge factor of the success of a Peaches & Crime show. A devoted following, known as “The Accomplices,” create a period-specific atmosphere, coming to the performances dressed in their finest garb and speakin’ the language. It’s a bonding experience that comes full-circle in the flow of communication between the crowd and performers. Even newcomers feel a part of the action, draining their glasses in this speakeasy scene.
Aside from their touring show, these modern-day vaudevillians also dabble in special events. Last year, the two emcees wrote their first murder mystery, “Dinner Date with Death,” over the course of two afternoons. It was performed at Antonio’s Galleria and met with wide appreciation, so the articulate comperes decided to have another go-round. This time, they have written all new material unlike anything they have performed in the past. Entitled, “Everyone Said I Love You,” the theme is murder, and, coincidentally, we don’t know whodunit. Peaches & Crime will be performing this one at Roberson Museum on Valentine’s Day (that’s the 14th). There will be a light cocktail hour before the draw of the curtain, and dinner, provided by BOCES Culinary Arts Program, will be served cooperatively with the performance. “The space at Roberson is bigger and better suited for a performance, so we’re pretty excited about that,” says Angie.
“The project that has become Peaches & Crime started the first time I heard the album ‘Murder Ballads,’ from Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds,” recalls Mr. Black, referring to an album that conjures dark history and passionate violence. “Daniel started writing lyrics for his own murder ballads but didn’t really have an outlet for that, and couldn’t carry
Tickets for the murder mystery dinner theatre entertainment, “Everyone Said I Love You,” are on sale now at roberson.org for $45 ($40 for members). Cocktail hour starts at 6pm and the dinner show commences at 7pm. This performance is a fundraiser for the Roberson Museum & Science Center.
Peaches and Crime. Photo by Ty Whitbeck.
LEAVE THE LUBE AT HOME: THE SEX DOLLS 2014 TOUR
ing defiance packaged in spandex and sequins, a combination that is distinctly New York.
Heather Merlis Assistant Editor
The two punk veterans are reuniting after their Acoustic Anarchy Tour, which came through Binghamton last year and was met with a resounding response. “The last show felt like an historic event,” recalls Jeff Kahn, owner and overall music guru of the Cyber Café. “There were so many people here in tears, because these musicians they grew up with were three feet away from them. I heard some people saying that it was the best concert they had ever seen.”
If you are planning on heading to Cyber Café West for the Sex Doll Tour on Sunday, March 2nd, don’t expect to find an inflatable vinyl lady with whom you may slip into one of the venue’s intimate corners for an evening of one-sided romance. This will not be a travelling show catering to adult novelty enthusiasts (that was the ANME; it was at the Airport Marriot in Burbank, California, and you just missed it). This will be something much better. The Sex Doll Tour is what happens when ‘punk goes acoustic,’ as performed by two pioneers of the genre. Glen Matlock, original bassist of the Sex Pistols, will be touring once again with Sylvain Sylvain of the New York Dolls, a band that paved the way for punk and showed boys that it was cool to look really, really pretty. Matlock is a Brit who was integral to the first wave of punk rock in the U.K., though he left the Pistols in 1977 to be replaced by the iconic Sid Vicious. But while Vicious was the archetypal punk, Matlock has proven to be a versatile and resilient musician, hav-
The anthemic nature of punk rock has the ability to reach into a person’s gut and find that spot where it first resonated, decades later, still intact and responsive as ever. When these songs are stripped down to basics- just acoustic guitar and voice- we as listeners can understand their source, hear their melodies with new ears. Now, we have the lucky second chance to witness these two legends refine what was once distorted, in an intimate setting.
vvv Glen Matlock and Sylvain Sylvain. Photo Provided.
ing been involved in a plethora of musical projects, and even reuniting with the Sex Pistols for several tours. Sylvain is a true New Yorker: a Jew born in Cairo, Egypt, whose family fled to France, then across the
Atlantic to Buffalo, finally landing in Queens. The aesthetic that he cultivated with the New York Dolls came to be known as glam punk, a sub-genre of protopunk that helped to inspire the look and sound of the punk movement, while borrowing from earlier glam rockers. The Dolls delivered raunchy, scream-
Grab this opportunity with a fist in the air, or perhaps with a very sparkly glove. The show starts at 8pm, and the Cyber Café West, located at 176 Main Street in Binghamton, will be open later than its usually Sunday hours to accommodate this special event. Tickets are $25, and may be bought in advance at the Café or by calling (607) 723-2456.
CAROUSEL PRESENTS: STRATOSPHEERIUS
24 Vol. 2 Issue 2
To say Denizon (who not only plays violin, but provides mandolin and lead vocals to the band as well) is the leader of the band is an understatement; it also undermines the virtuosic abilities of his fellow bandmates: drummer Lucianna Padmore, guitarist Aurelian Budynek, and bassist Jamie Bishop. Padmore has received praise from Modern Drummer magazine. Budynek has toured with Cindy Blackman and Vernon Reid. Bishop has played with The Syn and Francis Dunnery. High honors, all of them, but perhaps none of them have a resume as storied as that of their bowed counterpart.
Chris Bodnarczuk Editor-in-Chief
There is a story (a poem, really) by the late Jorge Luis Borges, in which the bullet that shot JFK is the bullet that shot Lincoln is the knife that killed Caesar is the stone that Cain threw at Abel is the wood of the cross is the siege of the Alamo. Something like that, anyway. And maybe it’s true. Maybe there is but one manifestation of violence, or evil, or destruction, or whatever; maybe there is but one manifestation of THAT THING. But surely, THAT THING being what it is… surely it can be but one place at once. Many places at many times, sure, but one place at one time? And if THAT THING is at but one place at a time, then surely, by way of physics and science and stuff, surely there are OTHER THINGS at the same time? And OTHER THINGS in different places at other times? Right? Surely? Guys? Hello? It goes like this: if the bullet that shot JFK is also the stone that Cain threw at Abel, and it exists as the manifestation of something evil throughout time, then the same could be said for the manifestations of other states of being, right? Maybe happiness is the first scoop of Cherry Garcia from the pint, or the first shot of whiskey in a new bottle. But a few years ago, happiness was Princess Di’s wedding day. And a few years before that, happiness was a freakin’ transistor radio. So on and so forth, back through the ages, until happiness was getting the hell out of Gomorrah after having your fun, but before it turned to salt. And maybe sadness is the last scoop of Cherry Garcia from the pint, or the last shot of whiskey before the bottle’s empty. But, yesterday, sadness was the face of a Newtown mother. And before that, it was a teddy bear left at the Vietnam memorial.
Denizon is known in many circles as “the Jimi Hendrix of the violin,” and his skills have gotten him gigs playing alongside a who’s who of music world heavy hitters: Bruce Springsteen, Richie Blackmore, Les Paul, Aretha Franklin… the list goes on. He has spent time as a soloist for the New York Ballet, has performed on virtually every major television network, and played for former President Clinton. While a genre crossing virtuoso, it is in Statospheerius he finds himself most at home, playing a merging of prog rock, funk, metal, bluegrass, and jazz that would make any serious audiophile drool. Stratospheerius’s music shares parallels with that of Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention, but also with Bela Fleck. And Rush. And Beethoven. They provide a show that serious metalheads would be just as home at as would be the most barefoot of bluegrass fans. It’s a hard thing to explain, so we’ll refrain from trying any harder. But you should see it. Live. Stratoshpeerius. Photo Provided.
the piece of charcoal that drew the horses on the walls of Chauvet Cave in France came back later as the blueprints for the Pyramids? And then again as DaVinci’s paintbrush, and again as Mozart’s piano? If we follow this trajectory, we’ll no doubt find ourselves at Hendrix’s guitar. And after that, at Joe Deninzon’s violin (see, I told you it would all make sense!).
Joe Deninzon’s violin must come from some sort of long esoteric line of creativity, because there’s just no way that he could possibly make those sounds without it coming straight from the center of the universe. Don’t believe me? You can check both the man and the violin out when they come to Cyber Café West on Friday, February 7th, as part of the power quartet that is Stratospheerius.
ent groups and a lot of different kinds of music: jazz, blues, rock, non-Western, electronic, and it opened my mind and ears. I think I knew early on that what I wanted to do, in music, was to find my own voice and identity. This seemed to be the way forward; I didn’t want to do compositions that I had felt people had already done. When I got involved in electronic music after college, I was working in electronic studios, and that’s where I first encountered the theremin. That led me into many different worlds, and I stayed with that instrument for a long time. I think that has led me into more futuristic or modern kinds of sound.
but nobody had heard this kind of electronic sound before. Then he came to New York, and the same thing happened. The instrument became very popular, until the 1930s, when other electronic instruments had been developed, the Hammond organ, for one. The theremin is very difficult to play. You have no fretboard; there’s no keyboard; you have to pick the notes out of the air.
And you’ll have just that chance, on February 7th. As the newest installment of the Carousel Presents Concert Series. Because Carousel loves you. And we’re awesome. Cyber Café West is located at 176 Main St. in Binghamton. The show starts at 9pm. Tickets are $5. We’ll see you there, right? If you don’t go, you’re ignoring Hendrix’s guitar. And Mozart’s piano. And Da Vinci’s paintbrush. And the freakin’ caves in France. All things considered, $5 sounds like a hell of a deal.
ERIC ROSS: PULLING MUSIC OUT OF THIN AIR
So what of creativity, then? What if history has its own THAT THING, on through eternity? Maybe
Heather Merlis Assistant Editor
With musical influences ranging from Stockhausen to Sun Ra, Eric Ross lives to create music that sounds like nothing ever heard before. After having performed at festivals, museums, and concert halls throughout the world, he is coming to Binghamton this month to share his unique breed of composition. Carousel got a chance to chat with him in anticipation of the show: Tell us about what you do. I am a composer/ performer. I work in an avant-garde idiom; sometimes I do multimedia performances with video. I play the theremin, guitar, and keyboards, and I’ve been performing all of my own compositions throughout the USA and Europe for the last twenty-five years or so. How did you become interested in avant-garde music? I started out, as a boy, as a classical pianist, typical training, and by the time I got to college I started playing in a lot of differ-
Could you tell us a little about the theremin? The theremin was invented around 1919; it was the first electronic instrument to receive any kind of recognition or popularity. It was invented by a Russian man by the name of Lev Theremin. He discovered it working in a physics lab, developing radios. He found that, when he tuned between stations, he found a very interesting sound, and he found that he was able to actually tune it, and make music with it. He developed this instrument, and he played for Lenin, who was quite impressed, and he allowed Theremin to go to the West. He went to Paris and to Berlin, and it caused an immediate sensation. The audiences went wild; they had never heard anything like this. I mean, everybody had heard the sound of a trumpet or a drum or a violin,
You don’t touch it? You don’t touch it, so it has no immediate frame of reference that way. I got involved in the theremin in the mid-seventies. I had one built from a kit for me, and I quickly realized how difficult it was to play. But, eventually, with work, I was able to produce music with it, and I used it on my first album, in 1982: “Songs for Synthesized Soprano.” The album became something of a minor hit, breaking me out into the New Music world; it got me started, professionally. I know many people, like John McLaughlin, B.B. King, and Miles Davis, had it. So the theremin really opened a lot of doors for me. It has a very beautiful, emotive, expressive quality. It has a special energy. What is your upcoming performance going to be like? Well, I’ve got a seven-piece group: two other theremin players, guys playing Moog analog-synths, lute, didgeridoo, waterphone, bass, guitars. We’re going to be playing two of my newest compositions. They’re structured improvisations:
there are certain themes and certain ideas that are fixed, and then there are other areas where we are going to open up and listen to each other and play it as it happens in the air as we feel it, within very specific guidelines. Within those guidelines, the musicians will be free to choose their own notes, rhythms, and timbres. I like working with really great players because it challenges me, and it challenges them, so the results should be exciting. Why is the theremin still relevant in modern music? It’s a very human instrument; it’s very expressive. It’s not pre-programmed; it’s not digital. It responds to the movements of the player’s hands in the air, so it’s really a direct expression of what you are trying to say or express. It’s ideally suited to lead music into the future because it’s a direct expression of the artist’s soul, itself.
vvv Eric Ross and his Avant Ensemble will be performing Music from the Future: Technology of Music from the Heart of NY, Part III at TechWorks! Prototype Workshop, located at 321 Water Street in Binghamton on Saturday, February 15th at 2pm. Tickets are $10 for general adminssion, $5 for students and senior citizens. Call (607)723-8600 or visit ctandi.org for more information.
theatre and dance (in bed).
February 2014 Triple Cities Carousel 25
TRI-CITIES OPERA PRESENTS MOZART’S ‘DON GIOVANNI’ AT THE FORUM THEATRE
Rinaldi explains, “Don Giovanni” comes from an operatic tradition that is far from one-dimensional. “This opera is called dramma giocoso, which doesn’t mean serious opera. It’s not dramma serio, which is the Italian word for “serious opera,” but it’s serious with comic moments. It still has that lightness to it. Even though he is condemned to the fiery nether-reaches at the climax, we still end with a comic resolution.”
Charles Berman Staff Writer On February 7th, at 8pm, and February 9th, at 3pm, Binghamton’s own Tri Cities Opera will present its second production of the season, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Don Giovanni, at the Forum Theatre, 236 Washington Street. The opera, which first appeared in 1787, takes as its subject the figure of the legendary womanizer Don Juan (“Giovanni” being the Italian equivalent of the Spanish name “Juan”), whose name has become synonymous with extraordinary sexual conquests. For Assistant Stage Director Judy Berry, it’s especially notable (given the subject), that the production company features “women behind the scenes (of the legend of the Don Juan)- me, as well as our director for the show, Laura Alley, and our firsttime-ever female conductor, Elaine Rinaldi.” Rinaldi comments, “Well, it’s nice to be noticed for that,” but she makes no secret of the fact that for her, the opera itself is the center of attention. She also makes clear her erudite and infectious enthusiasm for this work, one she will be conducting for the first time, after working on seven prior productions in roles ranging from chorus-master to associate conductor. “Oh, yes, I’ve had thoughts on the score, as I’ve worked on it before. It’s a great score
The Tri Cities Opera, founded in 1949, occupies a unique position in the Southern Tier as both a full professional opera company and a training ground for young musical talent. As Rinaldi, known for her experience working with young professionals, explains, “Tri Cities Opera is a unique institution because they exist to train young singers. It’s really a professional company- they’re young professionals. This is kind of like their finishing school.” Hee-Pyoung Oh as Don Giovanni. Photo Provided.
and, as great as the music is, the words by Lorenzo da Ponte... I’m reading his biography right now, it’s fascinating!” She explains that given an extraordinary libretto to work with, Mozart achieved a fusion of narrative and musical art that has made opera such a fascinating and extraordinary art form. “Honestly, I would focus too on the music. It’s such incredible music. Its genius the way Mozart really is able to portray the unique emotions of each character through the music. You have the sense of urgency and anguish with Donna Elvira, the woman that Don Giovanni has betrayed, and she’s trying des-
perately to get him back. Desperation is really the best word for Donna Elvira. And then you have the real sense of pain from Donna Anna, whose father has been killed at the very beginning of the opera. When Don Giovanni has come to try to seduce her, the father gets in the way. And then you have the comedic moments of Leporello, who’s the ever-patient better of Don Giovanni. He’s the ever-patient manservant who kind of makes it all possible. And he kind of adds the comic element. And the real love relationship between Anna and Ottavio, that’s some very poignant moments. It’s just great stuff.”
As one of the most performed and popular operas in the repertoire, “Don Giovanni” should prove popular with audiences, as well as providing valuable experience for its young cast, a cast that includes baritone Hee-Pyoung Oh, in the title role. The rest of the cast includes: Rebecca Heath, as Donna Anna; Meroë Adeeb, as Donna Elvira; Kevin Truax, as Ottavio; and Jake Stamatis, as Leporello. It’s a cast that Rinaldi says she truly encourages “not just to find the meaning of the words, but the meaning behind the words,” a distinction that, in a work that so combines the literary and poetic with the musical, can make all the difference. Tickets can be purchased by calling (607) 7720400, or online at tricitiesopera.com. Single tickets range in price from $20 to $70.
TI-AHWAGA PLAYERS ADAPT SHAKESPEARE’S ‘AS YOU LIKE IT’ Many in the audience may associate Mozart with more exclusively lighthearted operatic fare, but, as
But then, why throw in Old Hollywood? “It glamorizes capitalism. It glamorizes media. Shakespeare really embraces the idea that where you find importance in life, where you put the most time and energy, is into love and relationships, and it makes for a magical contrast,” Sedelmeyer explains. But that’s only the court scenes, of course. “Because society holds no power in the woods, all of the rules change there… and the story turns in different directions.” Sedelmeyer promises the entire theatre will take on the style of the play, and he’s even got some projections and multimedia surprises in store for the audience. But we’re not sayin’ nothing…
Chris Bodnarczuk Editor-in-Chief
This month, Owego’s Ti-Ahwaga Players tackle Shakespeare for, surprisingly enough, only the second time in their fifty four year run. As You Like It, directed by Josh Sedelmeyer, runs February 9-23 at the Ti-Ahwaga Performing Arts Center. But, this is not the As You Like It you were forced to read in high school. For one thing, no one’s forcing you to read anything. For two, this adaptation has a bit of a twist to it. Sedelmeyer’s take on the classic comedy takes place in Hollywood, during the 1930s and 40s. Some of it, anyway. The forest is still the forest, but the court scenes, presented in a very literal stark black and white, take the viewer back to the Golden Days of Tinseltown. Costumes and mannerisms of the actors on stage even allude to legends like Groucho Marx and Charlie Chaplin. ““It’s led by materialism, capitalism, the media, and paparazzi. It’s a more violent stark black and white setting. It goes there to the Forest of Arden, which is much more natural.” Ahem. Perhaps a refresher course is over. As You Like It is the one with the forest. And the court. Something something, lovers something, fleeing to
but those people are probably reading soliloquies to empty theatres.
The famous lovers’ story is a fitting fit for this, the month of love. In fact, on Valentine’s Day, the theatre is giving the full treatment to couples… but just the couples that read this paper! On the 14th, those attending with a date will get a free glass of wine along with their first purchased glass. But, only for those who mention this paragraph right here! For the rest of you, the Ti-ahwaga Performing Arts Center sells drinks, soup, and dessert to go along with their productions, so go hungry!
This is not to say Sedelmeyer does to As You Like It what Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger did to The Taming of the Shrew. While he and the cast will hopefully broaden the scope of theater-goers with this project, the source material is never thrown out completely. The re-writes follow pentameter, and the famous speeches- notably, “All the World’s a Stage…”- well, they’re intact.
As You Like It premiers on February 7th, and runs through the 23rd. Shows run Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Friday and Saturday shows start at 8pm, and curtain call on Sundays is at 2pm. Tickets range from $10-18. More info can be found at tiahwaga.com, or by calling 607-687-2130. The Tiahwaga Performing Arts Center is located at 42 Delphine St. in Owego.
Hee-Pyoung Oh as Don Giovanni. Photo Provided.
the forest, something something, jester something, fall in love, “all the world’s a stage,” something something, the end. Something like that, anyway. Shakespeare’s language can appear as such to the uninitiated, which is why so many do everything they can do to avoid returning to Shakespeare after high school and college. Sedelmeyer acknowledges this, which is why he went through the entire script to update the language when needed. Some may call it sacrilege,
26 Vol. 2 Issue 2
BU DANCERS PRESENT
‘7 DEADLY SINS’
Heather Merlis Assistant Editor
Inspiration for the 7 Deadly Sins dance show at SUNY Binghamton came from an unlikely place. “I was actually inspired by Lana Del Rey’s ‘Young and Beautiful,’” revealed JoEllen Kuhlman, Professor of Dance and the show’s choreographer. “I was doing some research and just came up with the concept around that song.” Listening to the track, it’s easy to imagine sensual, dramatic movements corresponding with its haunting vocals and subtly dynamic orchestration. “I wasn’t going to use the song, because it’s so popular,” Kuhlman explained. Ultimately, though, she chose to score nearly the entire performance with instrumental versions of songs from Baz Luhrmann’s recent re-imagining of The Great Gatsby, the soundtrack off of which “Young and Beautiful” was the lead single. The performance will feature three male dancers and seven female, each girl transformed into the embodiment of a sin with the help of creative costume design and Kulhman’s choreography, which incorporates jazz and contemporary stylings. Kuhlman learned to dance from her mother, Kathy Hansen, who grew up dancing and opened a studio when she was eighteen years old. “I’ve been dancing since I was little,” said Kuhlman, “I just loved it and kept going with it.” The studio is still in business today, and she works there with her mother. When she came to SUNY Binghamton nine years ago, Kuhlman began choreographing the musicals for the Theater Department, which hadn’t presented a pure dance performance for a very long time. After working with the musicals for several years, she decided to bring back the dance shows, offering
a different audience experience and a chance for student dancers to fluidly express themselves. According to Kuhlman, she selected dancers with “really strong technique, the ability to portray emotion, tell a story, and connect with each other on all different levels.” She also sought performers with excellent partnering skills, who could execute the sharp, athletic movement that she incorporates into her choreography. Despite the presence of lust on the roster of sins, this should not be a particularly sexy show. “It’s age-appropriate for all, because we do get a lot of kids.” She went on to explain that many young, aspiring dancers in the area like to come to the university to watch their more advanced counterparts. As for her own relationship with the subject matter, Kuhlman confessed, “I’m honestly not very religious or anything; I just try to pick a general theme that everyone can relate to.” This is solid logic, for what relevance would the sins have were they not integral to human nature? “I didn’t really know a lot about the sins, until I read up and I realized that I did a lot of them myself.” Whether you have a tendency to get a little greedy, have been known to lose your temper, or just can’t seem to put down that pint of ice cream and peel yourself off the couch, this show is sure to resonate and remind you that we are all apt to sin, and that maybe there is some beauty in vice. 7 Deadly Sins will be performed in Anderson Center’s Chamber Hall at Binghamton University, with 8pm performances on Friday, February 14th and Saturday, February 15th; and a 2pm matinee Sunday, February 16th. Tickets are $10 for General Admission, $8 for faculty, staff, and senior citizens, and $6 for students with ID.
FOR QUOTES AND MORE, EMAIL BMOAS@YAHOO.COM
DARKHORSE DRAMATISTS EXPLORE LOVE
IN ‘FOUR OF HEARTS’ Charles Berman Staff Writer
On February 7th and 8th at 8pm, the Därkhorse Drämatists, Binghamton’s playwriting workshop and theatrical company for new drama, will present Four Our Hearts, a group of four new plays on the February-appropriate theme of love. At the Phelps Mansion Museum, the group will use the event to present “Sunflower” by David Meyers, “Don Wannabe” by Daniel Guyton, “April in June” by Bill Coleman, and “Life-Themed Choices at Dunkin Donuts” by returning Därkhorse Catherine Weingarten, three of which are world premieres. Därkhorse Drämatists was founded as a theatre group with an emphasis on what could be called the very backbone of theatre: the creation of the play itself. Founder and Artistic Director Tony Yajko explains, “Being a playwright myself, I sent submissions to national playwright competitions or other theatre companies that might have five or six hundred submissions, and you just get buried in a sea of material. I almost started Därkhorse Drämatists as a support group for playwrights. Just like
any artists, your biggest feat is to be able to have a platform to showcase your work. Just like any artist wants to hang a painting on a wall somewhere just so people can look at it, any playwright wants to get their work produced as the ultimate goal. And there is so much new theatre out there that needs exposure. I wanted to be able to help new playwrights get a chance to see their work produced, and also give a chance for audiences to see new stuff, versus just the classic theatre.”
The Därkhorse Drämatists is not making its first excursion into a holiday themed night with this Valentines Day-related offering, but two years running have drawn huge crowds with their “Tales from the Script” evenings around Halloween. Yajko explains, however, that the choice of presenting a love-themed evening was not entirely dictated by the season, but grew almost on its own out of what high quality material he had available to him. “I put out a request for plays in general, for other festivals, and I kept seeing this theme of love. It was the center point of all the submissions that I got in, and I thought it would be nice to have a festival centered around that, since it was such a powerful emotion and such a good muse for playwrights. It just happened organically. I happened to have four plays that all came in, they were all really good, and they all dealt with love. I pulled in the best plays that I could find, and sat around with a table panel of playwrights, actors, and directors. We read them all and decided they were worth bringing to the stage.”
The Drämatists’ main festivals take place at the historic Tri-Cities Opera stage on Clinton Street, but for “Four Our Hearts” the company will be packing its bags and sojourning across town to perhaps an even more historic locale: the ballroom of the Phelps Mansion Museum. This grand 1905 addition to the 1870 structure was built by world-renowned architect Isaac Perry for Mayor of Binghamton, Sherman Phelps. For Yajko, the choice of Phelps was a felicitous one: “It’s really elegant, and it’s a little simpler, in terms of the overall stage size. I wanted a more intimate setting for these plays dealing with love, and for the audience to feel involved and comfortable. It’s a great date night. The love plays are meant to be something warm to get us through the rough winter that Binghamton always has.” For Yaiko, who acts in multiple roles and whose monologue, “What If We Kiss,” will be presented as part of the evening, the Därkhorse Drämatists itself is a labor of love. “I love it all,” he says. “I love to act, I love to direct, I love to write. So any opportunity I have to do one of those things- any time- it’s positive for me.”
“Four Our Hearts” will be presented at the Phelps Mansion Museum at 191 Court Street in Binghamton. Tickets cost ten dollars and may be bought at the door or by calling (607) 722-4873. More information about the Därkhorse Drämatists can be found at darkhorsedramatists.com.
DANCE STORIES PRESENTS ‘PORTRAITS OF NY’
Rene’ Neville Contributing Writer
This is a story about dance spirit. When you have danced 47 cycles around the sun as I have, you begin to learn a thing or two along the way. Like how to stretch properly, and hold tempo, and remember choreography… things like that. But, the singular most important thing I have learned along the way actually has nothing to do with dance and everything to do with spirit: I have learned that when a community of creative hearts and souls gathers together to share and explore movement, that act cannot help but spread positive and healing circles of energy out into the universe. So five years ago, I approached Patrick Foti, Artistic Director of the Endicott Performing Arts Center, with the idea of establishing a resident dance company at EPAC’s Washington Avenue venue… one whose mission would be to advance dance art in the community. Foti (and the rest of EPAC) happened to agree with me, and Dance Stories, the resident dance company of the Endicott Performing Arts Center, came into being during the summer of 2009. And so now, the story is not about a dance spirit, but about many dance spirits. Charged with the mission of advancing dance art in the community, Dance Stories is helmed by, well, me (Artistic Director and Choreographer), and includes three other resident choreographers- Emily Foti, Kimberly Cook, and Patrick Foti. In addition to the artistic director and resident choreographers, the company is comprised of nine experienced dancers. Everyone in the company has a regular full time job and more than colorful hectic life, yet everyone still manages to carve out four hours a week to come together to explore movement, create piec-
es, and spread those positive and healing circles of energy out into the universe. We also invite guest choreographers to join us and work with us on our various projects.
the dancers transform themselves into neon lights, skyscrapers, taxi cabs, sculptures, and dogs. And that is only 5 of the 18 motifs explored in this show: The Homeless, Ground Zero, and Immigrant Eyes pieces will have everyone in the audience searching their pockets for a tissue. And if the backdrop of the Central Park piece looks authentic as you watch the dancers cavorting on the park green in an old-school home movie sort of way, it’s because it is the real deal. Dance Stories couldn’t include a video dance piece about Central Park and have it shot in Rec Park or Otsiningo Park, so we went to Central Park for the day to shoot the video! Our growth, and the organic authenticity in the Central Park piece is a direct result of our interactions with other native New Yorkers, in their Central Park.
And what projects we create! Truly, Dance Stories is this fantastic little gem of original dance art floating in a larger sea of performance art. It can be tricky to be noticed amidst the larger draws of musicals, plays, operas, and staged readings that contribute to our area’s rich cultural life, but Dance Stories successfully holds its own and has developed a bit of a cult following in the process. Each project we create combines elements of original music, art, and spoken word together in a refreshing way, and involves the dance company directly with the artists who have contribThe Dance Stories crew hard at work. Photo Provided. uted the music, art, and spoken word. The collaborations are colorful, unique, and multi-layered. So if you think you need a little more dance art in your life, or you have no immediate plans to escape You can catch Dance Stories’ next project, “Por- to the city, or your Valentine’s Day didn’t go off extraits of New York,” on February 21, 22, and 23 at actly as planned, grab a date (perhaps a new one?) EPAC. New York City means different things to dif- and make post-Valentine’s Day plans to see “Porferent people- whether you’re a denizen or a tour- traits of New York” at EPAC, where you can experiist- and we wanted to capture all of that in the time ence everything NYC (except the HONY guy snapit takes to go on a Gray Line double decker bus tour. ping a photo of you!). Performances are at 8pm on So whether you think of New York City as a mecca Friday and Saturday, and 3pm on Sunday. All seats for Broadway performers, or an eternal city of sky- are reserved. There will be an artist’s reception folscrapers, or a sea of crosstown traffic taxi cabs, or a lowing each performance. EPAC is located at 102 home of museums for art sculptures, or even an ur- Washington Avenue in Endicott, NY. The EPAC ban locale for upscale dog parks, you can watch as box office can be reached at 607-785-8903.
February 2014 Triple Cities Carousel 27
MENOPAUSE THE MUSICAL
LIGHTS UP BING’S BARREN LANDSCAPE
Ronnie Vuolo Assistant Editor
Be warned Triple Cities, Menopause the Musical is coming to the Broome County Forum on Tuesday and Wednesday, February 11th and 12th, at 7:30pm. Barreling it’s way through 15 countries in the last 13 years; the blockbuster hit continues leave a trail of laughter wherever it goes. Since the dawn of humankind, women have been going through menopause. Early man invented the ‘man cave’ to escape it, but there was no escape for the hordes of sweaty, irritable cavewomen and their progeny over the following generations. Considered unfit for discussion (or medical study) in polite society, women were left to suffer in ignorance and silence until enlightenment came in the form of Edith Bunker in “All in the Family” and, more recently, Jeanie Linders’ hysterically honest “Menopause the Musical.” “Menopause the Musical” is a raucous romp through hot flashes, night sweats and mood swings, set to maniacally clever lyrics and catchy tunes. Where else can you find an audience united in sympathetic hysteria over menopausal memory lapses, crow’s feet, and the expanding ‘menopausal middle?’ What’s seen on stage mimics what so many of us experience over coffee (or wine) with good friends, the joyful camaraderie of women discovering that they share a common experience and learning to laugh about it. Menopausal miseries cross the lines of culture, race, religion, and finance. The very commonality of the experience turns the audience into participants, sharing in the laughter, the joy, and the frustrations. The ‘Silent Passage’ is silent no more. With songs such as: “I’m Flashing,” “Staying Awake/Night Sweating,” ”Dripping and Dropping,” and “Puff, My God, I’m Dragging,” you know you’re in for a good time. The universality of humor makes it a winner for audiences of all ages and genders (women of ‘a certain age’ be prepared, arm yourselves with ‘Poise,’ the laughs are explosive). “Most women know intuitively that every other woman is experiencing hot flashes or night sweats,” says author and producer, Jeanie Linders on her website, “There is always a close friend or two who can sympathize or identify, but when they are sitting in a theatre with hundreds of other women, all laughing and shouting ‘That’s me! That’s me on stage!’ They know what they are experiencing is normal. They aren’t alone or crazy. It becomes a sisterhood.” In addition to being an acclaimed writer and producer, Linders is also the founder of the non-profit Jeanie C. Linders Fund, which works for women around the world: assisting those recovering from sexual assault, raising ovarian cancer awareness, and helping women and their families affected by natural disaster. Every ticket purchased benefits the fund. For more information about the show or its author, go to menopausethemusical.com. With the weather so grim and gloomy, what better way to spend an evening than chortling at a common foe, getting a glimpse at what’s ahead, waxing nostalgic, or looking fearfully at one’s partner who may metamorphasize at any moment. Tickets are $33-$55 at the Forum Box Office, open Monday-Friday, 10am to 6pm, and Saturdays, noon to 5pm. For ticketing information, contact the Box Office at (607) 778-1369. Tickets are also available online at ticketmaster. com.
comedy (in bed).
28 Vol. 2 Issue 2
RODNEY CARRINGTON IS COMING TO THE FORUM...
Rodney Carrinton. Photo Provided.
BUT HE WON’T LET US INTERVIEW HIM, SO THAT’S ALL WE’LL SAY ON THE MATTER
food and drink (in bed).
February 2014 Triple Cities Carousel 29
ENDLESS BREWING:
Some jugs! Photo by Ty Whitbeck.
THE BEST JUGS IN MONTROSE
Maria “Murph” Murphy Staff Writer Morgan Kelly and Jon Winans, co-owners and brew-masters of Endless Brewing, are living proof that the couple that brews together pursues together. The two opened their brewery, just across the border, back in June of 2012, after seven years of home-brewing together on their stove top. “We started out in the kitchen with five gallon batches, and the front burner of the stove still doesn’t work right,” says Kelly. “We were obsessed brewers with a big dream,” Winans adds.
When the opportunity arose Kelly and Winans took their love and knowledge of brewing, and the support given by family and friends, and successfully erected the only brewery currently in Susquehanna County. “It was all inspired by our love of beer,” the couple agrees. The actual building was originally going to be constructed through refurbishing an old farmhouse. But, when it seemed the building could not be salvaged, the couple decided to put up a steel farm building and, instead, build the front bar out
of some beams and boards from the old farmhouse, along with a piece of slate Jon’s grandfather cut from the ‘endless’ mountaintops years ago. Now that’s taking the use of ‘local resources’ to a whole new height!
Over the past year and half Kelly and Winans have been sharing their ‘resources’ with the community, including supplying kegs for six different local restaurants and participating in many events and festivals throughout each season. They even recently won ‘Best IPA’ with their signature Bombshell Blonde at the Steamtown Beer and Music Festival. In addition, Endless Brewing has been starting a new trend, by providing beer for wedding receptions; talk about a mash made in heaven. This year the couple is hoping for approval to move their distribution over the border to New York, and they’re looking forward to the prospect of supplying beer for the Binghamton area. Whether it be in New York or Pennsylvania, Kelly and Winans are just happy to share their brews with any of age persons that may come their way (well, maybe not any age). “We have been wildly surprised by the variety of people that come in for our craft beer,” Kelly states. It may sound daunting for a two man (well, man and woman) operation to take on all that business, but these two keep doing it batch after batch. Although, once in a while, there may be a call for backup. “Occasionally our moms (the ‘Beer Moms’) help
out,” explains Kelly with a smile.
And help can come in more form than one. Sometimes, it’s in the shape of a bottle.
to be a beer for even the more particular pallets out there; the possibilities are endless! And with such rich flavors and a clean finish to follow, you can’t go wrong with a half gallon from these taps.
“We drink lots of other craft beer,” she continues. “It is inspirational and educational for us.”
“We’re happy to fill anyone’s growlers, not just our own,” says the couple.
This couple may have their preferred tastes when it comes to beer, but by no means does that limit them from tasting and creating brews that are across, or off, the spectrum.
And the brewery is not the only thing that should be calling you down to good ol’ PA. You can also drink in the beautiful scenery of the Endless Mountains with your sweetheart... while sipping on a quarter gallon from Endless Brewing. And let’s not forget, Salt Springs State Park is right around the corner.
“We’re IPA lovers, but we’re not really biased against other styles of beer,” Kelly explains. They try to have at least six to eight beers on tap at a time in the brewery. And in that line is usually a mix of their classics and a few new surprises the two have conjured up. “We do play around, and when we do it’s pretty spontaneous,” states Winans. “We usually try to put something new up every two to three weeks or so,” Kelly adds. So in the next few weeks be on the lookout for something new at Endless Brewing, such as a Jack Daniels barrel-aged imperial IPA they are hoping to release sometime this March. Even if whiskey aged ales or IPAs are not really your cup of... well, beer, don’t let that discourage you from heading south this winter. There is sure
“We recommend that anyone who wants to make the [short] drive down here to take a hike in our beautiful state park,” says Kelly. So there you have it... love, beer, and beautiful landscapes. What more could you ask for? Oh and did we mention they’re dog and kid friendly? “We’re pretty laid back,” Kelly goes on. “Our focus is not on appearances, but good tasting beer in a happy, relaxed atmosphere.” Endless Brewing is located at 20610 Pennsylvania 29, Montrose, PA (that’s the road you take from Conklin to Montrose) and is open Tuesday through Thursday 12pm-7pm, and Friday & Saturday 12pm-8pm. For contact and questions e-mail endlessbrewing@yahoo.com or call (570) 9670985. Be sure to “like” them on Facebook and check regularly for updates.
WHITE LIGHTNING’S GUIDE GARDENISTA
30 Vol. 2 Issue 2
DARING
Each month, we check in with KRISTINA STRAIN for advice on what we should be doing with our gardens. We didn’t think you could do anything with your garden in February. We were so wrong. Kristina lives and gardens in Gilbertsville. Today is the day I talk you into building a cold frame. I bet you didn’t see that coming, but let’s face facts, folks: it’s February. What else was I going to talk about? You’ve bought seed but you can’t plant it yet; you’ve planned your plot but you can’t go out there and dig. But, you can pretty much certainly count on a February thaw. Even if it’s just one 45 degree Saturday, it’s going to happen. You will have a day to spend in your garage building a cold frame, if you are so inclined, and get ready, for I am about to incline you exactly that way.
What you need is a big old storm window, of the sort that can be sourced in any number of dusty basements, attics, and garage-margins in and around our fair city. Wood, metal, or vinyl, they all work just fine. Then you need sun. Commandeer a flower bed, if you need to: who needs more daffodils in the world, anyway? Ideally, pick a spot right up next to the foundation of your house: you’ll capture extra warmth that way. Then, build a low four-sided rectangle that’s the same size as your window; like a box with no bottom and no top, basically. You can build a cold frame out of plywood or lumber, out of bricks or cinder blocks or even hay bales, but the basic idea is: you want the front side of the box to be eight or so inches high, and you want the back side of the box to be 14 or so inches high, so the window, when you set it atop your invention, will be at an angle. Be wary of building too big a cold frame- either too high or too wide or long. The smaller the volume of air contained within the cold frame, the better: the easier it will be for the pitiful February sun to heat it up in there. And heat it, it will. You’ll be surprised.
Got it? Good. Now, plant. If the ground is still frozen, you might want to leave your cold frame set up for a week or so- the sun’s warmth, magnified by the window, will thaw the ground out pretty quickly. Then, plant some fast early crops, the earlier the better. Lettuce, radishes, arugula, and spinach usually end up being my cold frame picks of choice, but you could also try carrots, kale or scallions. Radishes and arugula are always good choices, because they germinate in about four days, rain or shine, snow or sleet. In a month, you’ll have salad, and I promise it will be the best, most satisfying, freshest-tasting salad of your life. Convinced yet?
What if I told you that most of the chores that accompany warm-season growing (weeding, watering) are practically nonexistent in early early springtime? Seriously. Most weeds are too sissy to grow in the chilly spring ground; keeping the lid of your cold frame closed will minimize evaporation- and we’ll likely still be getting snow and sleet and wind and rain, too- and the soil won’t be in danger of drying out. Indeed, to grow in a cold frame, all you really need to do is build one, plant it, wait, harvest, and eat. The end.
TO WINING AND DINING ALONE THIS VALENTINE’S DAY
by Ty Whitbeck
Hey, girl. They call me White Lightning. Sexy, huh? How about you let me cook you dinner on Valentine’s Day? What’s that? You have a boyfriend? That’s cool, White Lightning don’t mind. I just stopped off at the farmer’s market and I got some stuff that’ll do your body reeeeal good; now, how about that dinner? Still no? Okay, okay, I’ll let you think about it… I have never claimed to have good game. I don’t think that’s how I would lead if I were trying, either, but there are some of us- I mean you- hopeless romantics that strike out time and time again to varying degrees of sadness. I’m going to help you through these hard times: I’m here to uphold that it’s okay to walk with your head high above the masses of seemingly happy couples out on Valentine’s Day. This is the time of the bachelor! Take this time to treat yourself right! To hell with going out to eat at one of those hoity toity restaurants that require a reservation months in advance. Leave those places to the pairs. What you need is a good takeout menu or a quiet corner to make the best of your lovely made-up holiday. White Lightning knows just the direction to point you: THE OLD UNION HOTEL You can start by checking out the Old Union Hotel, on Clinton Street in Binghamton. They offer some of the best bar food that doesn’t always seem like bar food. It’s a pub that also has restaurant seating, so you won’t feel awkward flying solo and saddling up with the other lonely hearts and their single malts. I’m going to recommend the wings. They’re award winning, you know. I spoke a good word about them in the April 2013 issue of Carousel, and I’m standing by it still. This time, I’m talkin’ about the Honey Sriracha. It’s a new flavor that packs the right amount of heat in just the right places. The sweetness isn’t overwhelming, and it doesn’t kill the flavor of the peppers. (Fun Fact: Both honey and chili peppers are aphrodisiacs. The more you know…) The Union’s menu is one of the most reliable things in Binghamton; trust in it and you will never be disappointed. Your shoulder to lean on, your friend to confide in. WEGMANS MARKET CAFE When dining alone, it’s about being confident in the choices you make. For me, an eatery’s dependability relies on how well it caters to its customer’s needs. Sometimes my needs include mammoth submarine sandwiches, made to order; sometimes I like to take a food trip around the world and taste all of the things. Wegmans’ Market Cafe could be your ticket to paradise. With a plethora of choices from Asian cuisine, curries and samosas, burritos, pizza, soup, to one of the most inclusive vegetarian bars I’ve ever seen, Wegmans has it all, and it’s good. Yeah, I get the irony that I’m sending you to a supermarket, but I’ve also learned that the market is a decent place to meet future mates… I once dated a girl for three years that I met at Wegmans. Take a few reusable shopping bags from the corner of your closet (a good woman likes a man who recycles), and hit up the grocery store for a few things. Chances are, there will be a chef giving some sort of live food demo, and people congregate at those stations like white on rice to taste the free samples. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet a cute little filly there. Grab life by the salad bowls endive right in! BINGHAMTON HOTS Not into salads? You can call any combination of ingredients a salad, really. Binghamton Hots, on Gorgeous Washington Street, has these things they call Hot Plates, and they’re a take on Rochester’s famous Garbage Plates; essentially, salad roulette minus the lettuce. It’s your choice of protein (chicken tenders, frankfurters, hamburger patties, pulled pork, etc…) and two sides (mac salad, fries, garlic mashed potatoes, or anything starchy…), covered in chili, onions and mustard, and served it up in a Styrofoam container. If 3am is drawing near, and heartburn is calling your name, Binghamton Hots is where you want to be. Most likely, the one at the club that got away will be there, more partied up and more apt to respond to your croons now. Ask if you can walk her and her friends home, using the Hot Plate and your strong shoulders as the security blanket in your frigid mid-February stroll. She may just ask you in to get warm and eat together.
BROZZETTI’S PIZZA “797-9960, call Brozzetti’s for pizza to go!” Anyone who’s ever spent time in the Triple Cities knows this jingle: The same great pizza since 1949. It is a mecca and a proper model of what pizza is in Johnson City. Albeit non-traditional, and controversial to what some of our downstate transplants may call “pizza,” it hasn’t changed in all of its years, and it has patrons hooked. People from a 50 mile radius drive to pick up pizza at Brozzetti’s, which has been in the same and only location, at 72 Baldwin St, since opening in the 40s. It’s a homecoming ritual for some, myself included, when returning from out of town. Brozzetti’s makes a thin sheet pizza with a slightly sweet, chewy crust (the jury is still out on what they do to make this crust so good). The sauce is thin and well cooked, and the cheese, much like the crust’s mystery, is a secret that only the cooks know in full. I’m a big fan of burnt cheese bubbles, and Brozzetti’s pizza meets my criteria, wholeheartedly. The turnaround time is quick, too, and you can do a quick pop-in and get a ready-made pie for your convenience. The shop is tiny, with no room to sit and eat, but if you take a sheet home and don’t finish the entire thing by yourself in one sitting, you’ll be happy to wake up to a slice the morning after.
vvv I hope this helps, guys. You probably have your go-to places already, but I implore you to step out of the box just a little bit. The Triple Cities are just teeming with restaurants and delis, and there are more late night options now that ever before. It seems like every week there is somewhere new to try out, so there is no need to settle for 18 cent ramen or Hot Pockets at the end of the night anymore. The first step to a better you is a good and hearty meal. It’s said that nothing great has been accomplished within our comfort zones. Do what’s right for you, and take my advice. If all else fails, you’ll have your farmer’s market fall back plan, right? Best of luck.
CHOCOLATE THUNDER’S GUIDE EATS
February 2014 Triple Cities Carousel 31
HEALTHY
TO WINING AND DINING A DATE
THIS VALENTINE’S DAY
by Ahlpheh Ohtis Wilson
For my regular reader’s a short aside: Chocolate Thunder is this writer’s alter ego, a suave gentleman who only appears at particularly romantic occasions, including but not limited to: Valentine’s Day, Weddings, Anniversaries, First dates… you get the picture. Chocolate Thunder provides “Simon Says” style of advice that must be followed to the letter to gain the benefits. While I cannot guarantee results, I’ve been blessed to watch with great joy as true love blossomed from Chocolate advice. Firstly, gentlemen… unless you have the culinary skills to prepare a fantastic meal for your significant other- DON’T! Experimentation will not be appreciated on a romantic occasion, so save your clumsy kitchen fumbling’s for her birthday, and leave it to the professionals. What you can do is make sure that the locker room that you call a living environment is properly cleaned and prepped for the instructions you will receive a little later on. If she insists on staying in for the evening (good thing the place is clean, eh bud?), you can still order from any of the suggested restaurants and get it to go. Now, let’s take a good look at how one should dress for the evening. You took the time to put on a tie and slacks for that last interview, correct? Remember she has supported you, even though that job may be heading nowhere in a hurry- does this evening not hold a whole lot more promise? Polish your shoes, iron a nice shirt and slacks, and take some time to consider that the major reason she is running late is because she’s trying to find an outfit that she thinks will be pleasing to you. Next, we are going to revive Chivalry from its cold dead resting place. If there is a night to be considerate of her feelings, inadequacies, insecurities, etc… this is it! When she says she is running a little behind schedule (and she will), tell her that you would be willing to wait an eternity for the opportunity to spend mere moments in the presence of her beauty. Assure her that whatever time she needs is guaranteed to be well worth it- then call the restaurant and beg for a few minutes leeway on their busiest night! When you finally get that call informing you she is ready, don’t beep the horn… walk your lazy ass up to the door, take her arm and escort her to the warm waiting vehicle, remembering to open her door at every opportunity! Steer the dinner conversations in the direction of her interests, likes, and hobbies, and be sure to do more active listening than talking. Okay, the hard part is over, so relax, choose one of the following restaurants (and suggested meals), and follow the simple remaining steps at the conclusion to assure a successful evening: CORTESE RESTAURANT 117 Robinson St on Binghamton’s East Side. Very comfortable booths available (sit on the same side it’s by far more romantic). Start with a nice bottle of Estancia Pinot Noir (California), a nice fruit forward red. For appetizers, try the Toscana Bread, a nicely toasted French bread topped with
homemade pesto, diced tomatoes, fresh chopped spinach and mozzarella cheese. Then try the Insalata Caprese Salad (sliced ripe tomatoes with fresh mozzarella, basil and chopped onion topped with homemade Balsamic Italian dressing). For the entrée, you must get the Chateaubriand for Two: “the heart of a choice beef tenderloin served on a sizzling platter,” and I would suggest the Burgundy garlic sauce to accompany this. The sides and soup I leave up to the reader, as well as dessert. If you have followed instructions up to this point you should be fine. WHOLE IN THE WALL 43 S. Washington St. on Binghamton’s South side. Very cozy, and since Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday, there may well be live piano music. Start with a couple of IPAs or imported amber beers. For an appetizer, try the Tempura Broccoli Florets (batter-dipped broccoli served with homemade Russian dressing). You will look adorable as you dip and feed each other these delightful treats. For your entrées, I think a little surf n turf is in order: Broiled Wild Bluefish and Cheddar Chicken Broil. The Bluefish is prepared with lemon-butter-garlic and parmesan cheese and served over organic brown rice- it is stunning. The chicken (I have to admit I order it at least once a week) is a tender hormone and antibiotic free breast, prepared with garlic-butter-herbs and topped with cheddar and parmesan cheese, served over a bed of organic brown rice. I suggest substituting the fried rice, which is sautéed with onions, soy sauce, and garlic. Again, I feel confident that salads and desert can be worked out amongst the loving couple. MICHELANGELO’S PIZZERIA AND RISTORANTE 465 court St in Binghamton. Again, very cozy booths and small intimate tables. Start with a bottle of Martini & Rossi Asti Spumante (Italy): this fruity bubbly white will have you giggling and yearning for more of her stories about the office. You can jump right into the entrées, because each is served with a side of pasta, salad, and garlic knots. Go for the Braciole Alla Barese, a thin rib eye steak rolled with garlic parsley and Romano cheese, served simmering in homemade red sauce. When the inevitable belching occurs, it will be irrelevant because you both enjoyed the garlic in the Braciole.
vvv Now we come to the end of the evening, and to the preparations you should be sure to have made well in advance. Your buddy Ty (he has your hide a key and nothing better to do on his Valentines night, despite what the article to the left implies) springs into action the minute you leave the house for dinner. He loads that African Jazz CD into the player, places the candles throughout the house and around the Jacuzzi as instructed, and places the chilled bottle of Mondoro and the chocolate covered strawberries on the counter directly inside the door. When you are leaving the restaurant, you send him the pre-arranged “K” text, his signal to turn on the bubbles, light the candles, start the CD, and get the hell out, because Chocolate Thunder is rumbling home! You have been a perfect gentleman all evening: considerate of her feelings, willing to listen without judgment, genuinely interested in her likes and dislikes, and attentive to her every need… hopefully this will lead her to be attentive to at least one of yours. But, if notbe a grownup, there’s always next year!
Stacey Burke Staff Writer
Let’s face it, it’s cold. Actually, freezing. February is the most dreaded month of the year for me; though the shortest, it always seems the longest. One perk of full swing hibernation season is that I find myself cooking more. And given the cold temperatures, eating warming foods such as soups and stews is basically a given. I love throwing tons of beans and veggies in a crockpot, along with a plethora of aromatic spices, to create a to-die-for chili. Not only is chili a crazy good source of tons of fiber, with all the beans and vegetables, but it is super versatile (I’m sure everyone has an amazing chili recipe of their own out there!) and cheap and easy to make! Of course, every chili needs a good cornbread as a sidekick. I took a version from food.com a while back and revamped it into my own fabulous dairy and egg free version. You would never guess this as “healthy,” as it’s packed with flavor and incredibly moist. Give it a whirl! That way even if you load your chili with ‘less healthy’ items, you make up for it with this super yummy bread! The Best (Vegan) Cornbread Ever 2 Tablespoons of ground flax seeds 6 Tablespoons of water 1 cup Whole wheat flour 1 cup Cornmeal 1/4 cup sugar 4 Teaspoons baking powder 3/4 teaspoon table salt 1 cup of soy/almond/hemp milk 1/4 cup of extra virgin olive or canola oil
Directions: Preheat oven to 425°F. Lightly coat an 8-inch-square baking dish with extra virgin olive oil. Bring the water to a boil in a small saucepan. Add the ground flax seed, reduce the heat to medium-low, and simmer the ground flax seed in the water for 3 minutes or until thickened, stirring occasionally. Set aside. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, and salt until well-combined. Add the ground flax seed mixture, (soy/almond or hemp) milk, and oil to the flour mixture. Beat just until smooth and blended together (do not over mix.) Turn into prepared baking pan. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes; invert cornbread onto wire rack, then turn right side up and continue to cool until warm, about 10 minutes longer. Enjoy
Stacey Burke is a Holistic Health and Wellness Coach, and founder of New Roots to Health. She works with individuals whom struggle with weight loss, cravings and low energy by supporting them in setting personal goals around balancing diet and lifestyle. How often do you get the personal attention you deserve when talking about your health and nutrition? Email her at Stacey@newrootstohealth.com or visit her website www.newrootstohealth. com to learn more about programs that could change your life. Mention you read about her in the Carousel, and receive 25% off a 6-month, personalized program!
fun stuff (in bed).
32 Vol. 2 Issue 2
B.C.
by MASTROIANNI AND HART
HOROSCOPES
Each month, CAROUSEL features a guest horoscope columnist. For February, we welcome ED HICKEY, the face behind The Belmar Pub and Fitzies Pub. As far as we know, he knows nothing about astrology. Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb 19) Your inability to make commitments will once again preclude you from having to pretend to like your Valentine’s Day present. Share your feelings with someone close to you, let them get to know you, and in the long run you’ll save yourself a stamp next year while filling out Christmas cards.
WIZARD OF ID
by PARKER, MASTROIANNI, AND HART
Pisces (Feb 20-Mar 20) You are imaginative, compassionate, devoted and accepting, St. Patricks Day Celebrations stole the attention of your entire birth month, and now your game has been emulated by the hipsters. Don’t let them steal your thunder; get yourself a couple of stocking caps with visors, some fingerless knit gloves, and jump right in. There’s nothing more imaginative than looking just like the eleven other people in your smelly van. Aries (Mar 21-April 19) Slow down, smell the roses; you’re racing through life too fast. Surround yourself with Aquarians; they’re pretty easy and you can certainly use the action.
DOGS OF C-KENNEL
by MICK AND MASON MASTROIANNI
Taurus (Apr 20-May 20) This is a special month for Taurus: you get to spend another Valentine’s Day lying to your parents about being happy in your relationship. Go to a speed dating event; twenty-three dates is, after all, twenty-three dates. Gemini (May 21-Jun 21) Don’t get too caught up in names; it is a proven fact that most “Gemini” strippers are really Aquarians. That being said, most Geminis are actually prostitutes. Cancer (Jun 22-Jul 23) These days, by the time most Virgos are old enough to read their horoscopes, they are not Virgos anymore. So go find one! Leo (Jul 24-Aug 23) Ah, the most majestic of the zodiac signs…don’t get too excited about that. Your constellation is, like, six stars that some guy high on mead and damn near starved to death decided was a lion.
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Virgo (Aug 24-Sep 22) Quit lying to yourself; Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and the Virgo is no longer a symbol of purity. Try to find some Aquarians and Pisceans to hang out with; they can introduce you to people that can give you that “roofied” feeling naturally. Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22) Valentines’ Day is a big day for Libras: after a month of things being out of wack, it’s nice to have a normal month again. The moon is lined up perfectly with the stars and you can once again begin looking for reasons you’re not happy. Start with the daddy issues and work towards sibling rivalry. Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 22) Stick to your guns; check your partner’s phone calls, emails, and text messages. You can never be too sure whether you’re being cheated on. While you’re at it, get even with your partner (just in case) by hooking up with a few of his or her friends. Sagittarius (Nov 23-Dec 21) Half-man, halfhorse with a bow and arrow? Wow, that’s cool; your zodiac symbol is actually Thomas from Narnia. Eat lots of pineapple, just in case. Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 20) It doesn’t really matter what Capricorn horoscopes say; Capricorns only listen to what Capricorns are saying. Here’s some advice anyway: nobody wants to be stuck in the sauna or steam room with a chattering egotistical maniac.
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crossword (in bed)
34 Vol. 2 Issue 2
“A Beastly Puzzle”
ACROSS 1. Kin of the fire warden seen in the 1980 film “The Gods Must be Crazy” 9. The Wrap’s “Best and Worst of 2013 _____ _____ Review” of movies and other entertainment 10. Geometric sounding name of web site put online in 2012 that reviews the gaming world: “www._______.com” 11. James Joyce’s 1922 Modernist novel set in Dublin, and the name of an unrelated 1954 movie starring Kirk Douglas 13. 2010 movie about a blinded skater “Ice _____” 15. Animal called a tatanka in 1990 film “Dances with Wolves” 18. Animal the Ymir battles in 1957 Harryhausen film “20 Million Miles to Earth” 21. Charlize Theron’s 2003 Oscar movie about Aileen Wuornos 23. What a film director does when he doesn’t like a performer 26. Disney’s 2012 film “John Carter” was based on the Edgar Rice Burrough’s Barsoom series, whose third installment was “The _____ of Mars” 28. African country on the Red Sea where the 1997 film “Port Djema” was filmed 29. Sea dwelling nemesis in 1975 movie “Jaws” DOWN 1. Linda Ronstadt’s 1977 hit “Blue ______” 2. De Niro’s 1999 therapy movie “________ This” 3. 2010 soccer movie bomb for Gerald Butler “Playing for _____” 4. “You _____ me at hello.” Quote from 1996 film “Jerry Maguire”
by Paul O’Heron
5. “NO _____!!” Kid’s quote from 1992 film “Honey I Blew Up the Kid” 6. NFL team that is the subject of the climactic quiz in the 1982 movie “Diner” 7. What Elle Woods wears near the end of 2001 film “Legally Blonde” 8. Frank Miller’s graphic novel and 2005 movie “_____ City” 12. Keanu Reeves 2006 film “A ________ Darkly,” based on Philip K. Dick’s novel 13. “The _____”, Adam Sandler, Dustin Hoffman, Steve Buscemi picture now shooting in New York 14. Bruce Willis’ 1991 film “The Last Boy ______” 15. Band that sang 1967 hit “Incense and Peppermints”: The Strawberry _____ Clock 16. Billy Crystal, John Goodman 2001 animated film “Monster’s _____” 17. Pomade refuse by George Clooney’s character in 2000 film “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” 19. 1969 film about a mute boy, “Run Wild, _____ _____” 20. Country featured in the 1965 movie “The Sound of Music” 22. Captain Beefhart’s 1969 seminal album “_____ Mask Replica” 24. Peter O’Toole’s 1969 film “Goodbye, Mr. _____” about a teacher’s reminiscing 25. Actor Robert _____ who played Elliot Ness from 1959 - 1963 26. Dustin Hoffman’s 1997 political film “______ the Dog” 27. Homer Simpson’s classic interjection. 28. Julia Roberts’ 2010 movie “_____, Pray, Love”
CAROUSEL triple cities
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february 2014
vol. 2 issue 2
the sex issue.