Starring: LAUREN TURNER, SARAH MERRILL, DAYNA PECK, JEN ELKINS, MELANIE LENICH, RACHEL CUMMINGS, SHALLAN THALMAN and KATRINA CUTAJAR •
5 Hour Energy
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True Life Detroit
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Group Email hits over 69 in less than 48 hrs!
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50 first dates
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This is your time to shine
SHALLAN: “Radio up, windows down, smiles on” MERRILL: “I’m surprised I haven’t woken up neutered.” DAYNA: “That’s not available yet.” TURNER: “I almost got railed…but not in a good way.” RACHEL: “How awesome is it to go down when it’s nice and fresh.” MERRILL: “Found it! It was in my (fill in the blank)” www.truelifedetroit.com
MERRILL: “I’ve never stick anything in that hole before.” MEL: “I just got swiffered!” JEN: “No wonder it’s so cold, we never turned on the heat” (JEN to MERRILL) MEL: “We are going skiing” Random Stranger: “Where?” MEL: “Hob’s Nob” (MEL to a random stranger) MEL: “I have a loose duct.” TURNER: “Maybe he didn’t know it was him.” TURNER: “Burp” - “That one just popped out” JEN: “That’s okay, I’ve been farting back here the whole trip” MEL: “I need a refill” JEN: “Not that I was ever physically attracted to him, I just like to F him” MEL: “die-a-mon-days” (aka: diamonds) TURNER: “Is that a boy?” “Dude, he is 13” TURNER: “Don’t you hate it when you pick your wedgies & you rip your underwear” SHALLAN: “There’s no H2O in the toilet, can I still pee?” MEL: “It’s all dots & lines…I’m confused.” RACHEL: “I found my paper towel” SHALLAN: “Please get drunk and be normal again” (SHALLAN to JEN & TURNER) MEL: “What the F did I tell you?” “I don’t even remember” (MEL doesn’t remember 10 seconds later) MERRILL: “How did you get your balls off?” TURNER: “I only have one ball” JEN: “Me too” (MERRILL to JEN & TURNER) JEN & KATRINA: “You got moved!” MEL: “Anyone want to play a game?” MERRILL: “DAYNA, can you get me super glue?” “I need to glue my balls back to my slipper”
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JEN: “Those ones are fine, they roll” MERRILL: “And, I just started doing it” MERRILL: “True Lovers spike each other’s drinks” (SHALLAN pours vodka in Merrills wine by mistake) SHALLAN: “It’s alright, I’m sure MEL can cook dinner tomorrow” KATRINA: “It’s like that movie, 50 first dates!” MEL: “What’s trump?” MERRILL: “TURNER, thanks for giving me the good shit” JEN: “Jesus Balls” TURNER: “WEIRDO” JEN: “Thanks for the captain obvious advice” JEN: “Shit, or get off the pot” JEN: “Does an axe murderer hold an axe?!” MERRILL: “Sorry bout your luck” KATRINA: “I think I just clogged the toilet” MERRILL: “How can I sexist back?” (MERRILL to RACHEL) DAYNA: “Should we go soft?” MERRILL: “Shit, I thought that was sprite” MERRILL: “I really thought you were gonna have to watch me all night, that’s how hard I hit it” (MERRILL to Hurricane) MEL: “What are these balls in here?” SHALLAN: “Will somebody else drink with me? “I don’t want to drink myself.” (SHALLAN says to DAYNA & MERRILL as they look at her and and just start to pour) MERRILL: “Just turn around and sit down” (Tube man says to MERRILL) Random Black Chick in Bathroom: “Are you ladies in a Sorority?” MERRILL: “No, where True Life Detroit” Random Black Chick in Bathroom: “What’s that?” MEL: “It’s a show on MTV” Random Black Chick in Bathroom: “Well grab your 15 min of fame but get your education first”
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RACHEL: “Head and Shoulder’s here you come!” (RACHEL to MERRILL) RACHEL: “P.S. is this a twin bed?” SHALLAN: “Which one is mine?” TURNER: “The one on the right” SHALLAN: “Which one is the right?” Stranger: “Where are you ladies from?” RACHEL: “I don’t know…JEN, where are we from?” JEN: “Uhh, Royal Oak!” DAYNA: “Don’t worry, I changed my underwear” MERRILL: “Don’t worry, I’m not wearing any”
www.truelifedetroit.com