JANUARY 2019
The Self-Care Issue
Putting Balance Back In Your Life Hanging Out With Stonewall Sports The Art Of Massage And Acupuncture
Feb. 11 – 12, 2019
PRESENTING SPONSORS:
Registration begins at 8:30 a.m. Sinclair Conference Center 301 West Fourth Street Dayton, OH 45402
REGISTRATION OPTIONS: Both days: $150
Miami Valley LGBT
Earlybird: $125 before Dec. 31
HORIZONS of AGING SUMMIT
Join us for this inaugural event to learn about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender older adults and their journey for equality and dignity. Learn how to help ensure affirmed abundant aging for this underserved community.
Single day: $75 Students and older adults (age 55+): $20/day (no CEUs) Lunch and CEUs* are included.
SUMMIT HIGHLIGHTS FEBRUARY 11 9:30 a.m. Welcome and opening 9:45 a.m. Screening of documentary Gen Silent, followed by panel conversation including producers Joe Applebaum and Stu Maddox
FEATURING:
1:15 p.m. Breakout Session A
KEYNOTE SPEAKER
Stu Maddux award-winning filmmaker and producer of the film Gen Silent
3:00 p.m. Breakout Session B 4:00 p.m. Academic poster session and reception with the Rubi Girls FEBRUARY 12 9:00 a.m. Address by Dr. Nii-Quartelai Quartey, AARP 10:15 a.m. Keynote by Stu Maddox 12:00 p.m. Dayton Gay Men’s Chorus at lunch 1:30 p.m. Breakout Session C 2:45 p.m. Breakout Session D
Register today at horizons-lgbt.eventbrite.com. For more information, visit abundantaging.org.
Breakout sessions will cover healthcare and social justice issues for LGBT older adults.
*CEUs are being sought for social workers and administrators. WITH SUPPORT FROM: College of Education, Health and Society Family Science and Social Work Sexuality Education Studies Center
LGB TQ
School of Professional Psychology
We do not discriminate based upon race, color, creed, national origin, religion, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity and/or expression, age, disability, genetic information or ancestry.
LET’S PARTY!
WWW.CITYBBQ.COM/CATERING
Chief Executive Officer Publisher
Executive Assistant Contributing Writer
Curtis Davis cdavis@team-icsc.com
Jeff Skinner info@onetruevoiceonline.com
Editorial Director Social Media Manager
Sales Manager Contributing Writer
Kaylee Duff editor@onetruevoiceonline.com
Christopher Leaming sales@onetruevoiceonline.com
Contributing Writers Daniel Tirabassi, JT Lucas, J.M. Rayburn, Candelaria Mota
Contributing Photographers Emily Hirzel, Kaylee Duff, Jeff Skinner, Mike Miller, Mark Schmitter, Joy Kollmer Photography, Byron Walter
Creative Design Design2Pro
True Q loves feedback from our readers! Email us at info@onetruevoiceonline.com with any questions, comments or concerns.
Please address all media inquiries, internship requests and event or program listings to our Editor at editor@onetruevoiceonline.com.
True Q Magazine and True Media Group are proud members of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.
CONTENTS
January 2019
3 Letter From The Editor
12-13 Hanging Out With Stonewall Sports
Self-care when it matters
4 January Events What’s going on in Ohio this month
5 Out In The Media Reviews of the latest books, movies, shows and more
6 Spotlight On Kelly Vaughn Get to know this singer-songwriter
14-15 Mental Health And The Trans Community There are some issues that need addressed
16-17 Creator’s Space Reader-submitted art and words
7 Spotlight On The Ohio Lesbian Archives This special collection keeps history alive
Conversation with President and Co-Founder of Columbus league
Here’s three things to get involved in your local
9 The Best Albums To Chill Out With The top 5 albums to escape into
10-11 Putting Balance Back In Your Life How lifestyle coaching works and advice on reducing stress
19 Don’t Be An Idiot In 2019
20 Reflecting On Our Own Mental Health Insights on focusing on more than just physical health
Some of our favorite New Year’s resolutions
24-25 Bringing Self-Love Into 2019 Affirmations don’t have to be scary
26-27 My Year As Miss Southbend Re-capping my reign during 2018
21 The Art Of Massage And Acupuncture Alternative methods to relieving your pain
ONETRUEVOICEONLINE.COM ON THE COVER: Our goal for 2019 is to make overall self-care an important priority. True Q Magazine is published monthly by True Media Group. True Q Magazine issues are FREE at distribution locations throughout the state of Ohio, or available as a subscription for direct delivery online at OneTrueVoiceOnline.com/subscribe. Copyright © 2019 True Media Group All Rights Reserved. Reproduction without expressed written permission from the publisher is strictly prohibited. All rights in letters, manuscripts, photographs, drawings,
2 | JANUARY 2019
22-23 Here’s To The New Year!
28 Ohio’s #OneTrueVoice Snapshots from Ohio’s LGBTQ+ community
illustrations and artwork sent to True Q Magazine will be treated as assigned for publication and copyright purposes and are subject to True Q Magazine and True Media Group terms and conditions. All models are at least 18 years of age. All photographs included are posed for by professional models or willing participants in True Q Magazine except as otherwise noted. Neither said photographs nor accompanying editorial is indicative of sexual orientation or gender expression, unless specifically noted. The publisher of the magazine does not assume responsibility for statements by advertisers.
ALL CONTENT AND RELATED MEDIA ARE COPYRIGHTED © 2019 BY TRUE Q MAGAZINE. All rights reserved.
TRUE Q MAGAZINE
LETTER
Letter From The Editor Self-care gets a bad reputation — but what’s more important than taking care of your body and mind when the world wants to see you struggle? Welcome to the first Self-Care Issue of True Q Magazine! The idea for the first theme of 2019 to be about self-care came from a team meeting last year. In discussing our calendar and tossing around different ideas, we ended up on the topic of New Year’s resolutions — and how sometimes, those resolutions can be unhelpful or unhealthy. Every year, it seems like New Year’s resolutions focus more and more on losing weight, “getting in shape,” and looking a certain way. So we’re re-framing the narrative. How many times have you already read headlines like “Ways to Get Fit in the New Year” or “How to Lose Weight in 2019” or “20 Things to Do in January to Look Better than Everyone Else”? We start seeing them in December, when fitness gurus start pushing us to think about losing those pounds gained during the holidays. But have you ever given thought to how the emphasis on our body weight at the beginning of every single new year can be dangerous? This month, we’re challenging everyone to think a little bit more about their resolutions. Instead of thinking about how to better your body (which is beautiful just the way it is), think about how you can better yourself as a person. Instead of losing weight or dying your hair, dare yourself to do something you’ve always wanted to do. Yes, health and fitness are important. But it shouldn’t be the end-all-be-all of New Year’s resolutions. It shouldn’t even be the end-all-be-all of goals in general. Health is more than just losing weight, gaining muscle and looking like a model. Mental health. Emotional health. Having healthy relationships with yourself and with others. It’s also important to remember that the idea of fitness topping the resolution charts is inherently ableist. There’s more to being a person than what we look like, and it’s important to remember that all the time. We’re talking about the intersection between body and mind. We currently live in this moment of extreme hostility; there are people out there who believe people in minority communities don’t deserve the most basic of human rights. That causes an unbelievable amount of stress. And a lot of the time, these demographics are the people who are socialized into routines that lack the time or ability to engage in “self-care” activities, which just compounds the seemingly endless stress.
Photo by Emily Hirzel.
In 2019, we’re combating that stress with care. Take more time out of every day to sit down with yourself and do those things that make you feel calm and whole. It looks different for everybody. Maybe your idea of self-care is baths and face masks. Maybe it’s reading a book, speaking with a therapist, enjoying more time with nature, hanging out with friends, creating art, engaging with your community. Maybe it is exercising, because yes, there’s a difference in motivation between going to the gym because it makes you feel good and going to the gym because you “have” to. My idea of self-care usually involves candles, taking walks and writing in a journal. Whatever it looks like to you, spend time with yourself in 2019. Spend time getting to know what takes away your stress and allows you to live the life you deserve. Because succeeding in living the life you deserve is one of the greatest acts of rebellion in a world that wants you to fail.
Love, Kaylee Duff, Editor
Corrections: • In our December 2018 issue, we incorrectly referred to as the newly re-built Stonewall Columbus building as the “Center on High.” The correct name is just Stonewall Columbus. • In our December 2018 issue, we incorrectly named Dr. Cecile Unger as Giovonni Santiago’s doctor. Santiago’s doctor was Dr. Megan McNamara of the Louis Stokes VA Medical Center in Cleveland; Dr. Unger works out of the Cleveland Clinic. TRUE Q MAGAZINE
JANUARY 2019 | 3
EVENTS
January Events What’s going on in Ohio this month? Here’s a selection of great community events happening around the state in January. NORTHEAST
SOUTHWEST
JANUARY 8 Cleveland Cavaliers Pride Night Cleveland
JANUARY 14 Hard Candy: Cincinnati with Jasmine Masters Cincinnati
Join the Cleveland Cavaliers for a night of PRIDE and community! Fans and friends are invited to come celebrate pride as the Cavs take on the Indiana Pacers. $10 from each ticket purchased via the link below will be donated to The Nina West Fund. The Nina West Fund helps raise money for local nonprofits benefiting Ohio’s LGBTQ+ community, including places like Kaleidoscope Youth Center, the Ronald McDonald House, Equitas Health, Planned Parenthood, the Family Pride Network and the ACLU. So come out and support a great cause at the Quicken Loans Arena! The game starts at 7 p.m. To find more information or buy your tickets, visit theqarena.com/pridenight.
Daniel Cole presents Hard Candy: Cincinnati with Jasmine Masters at The Cabaret! This 21+ event will be hosted by T Rex (Chicago) and Penny Tration. Jasmine Masters is an internationally known drag superstar, most famous for competing on season 7 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. The meet and greet starts at 8 p.m., with the show starting afterwards at 9 p.m. This is definitely a donot-miss event, so reserve your spot today! Tickets and tables are available for purchase at jasminemcincy.eventbrite.com.
SOUTHEAST JANUARY 19 Hocking Hills Winter Hike Logan This year’s event is Hocking Hills’ 54th annual Winter Hike! The six-mile adventure starts at Old Man’s Cave and goes to Ash Cave, with continuous starts from 9 to 11 a.m. Enjoy the magical winter scenery while exploring your favorite areas around one of Ohio’s most beautiful locations. Food will be served at Cedar Falls (donations appreciated), with a shuttle bus returning hikers back to their parking area. But the fun won’t end with the hike! At 1 p.m., the Logan Hocking High School choir will be performing in the courthouse. Then head to Historic Downtown Logan for the Logan Frozen Festival. The Festival features more than 25 different ice sculptures, ice sculpting demonstrations, ice corn hole, ice photo frame, ice throne, musical entertainment, chainsaw wood sculpting, lots of food and drinks, and much more. Dress for weather; layered clothes and proper footwear is encouraged. Visit explorehockinghills.com/events for more details.
CENTRAL JANUARY 12 Danceville U.S.A. Fifth Anniversary Columbus Danceville U.S.A., a ballroom dance studio located in the Short North Arts District, is celebrating their fifth anniversary with a special star-studded showcase! The evening will include cocktails, hor d’oeuvres, student showcase routines and a threecourse served meal. Danceville’s anniversary will be headlined by performances by World Showdance Champions Andre and Natalie Paramonov. They will also feature a headlining guest performer — internationally famous drag queen Detox! Detox appeared on season 5 and All-Stars season 2 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. The fifth anniversary celebration will take place at The Columbus Athenaeum, located in downtown Columbus. Cocktails begin at 5:30 p.m. with the show beginning promptly at 6 p.m. The event is open to the public and tickets are $200 per person. Check out dancevilleusa.com/shop for tickets and more. 4 | JANUARY 2019
Hosting or know of a cool event? NORTHWEST
Submit it to our calendar at
onetruevoiceonline.com/submit-an-event.
JANUARY 19 All-Star Winter Brewfest Toledo Hosted by Hensville Toledo at Fifth Third Field, this premier outdoor event is one of the most anticipated winter festivals of the year! This year, the 5th Annual Winter Brewfest is taking place during the CCM/ECHL All-Star Weekend (presented by ProMedica). The All-Star Winter Brewfest is presented by Lexus of Toledo and 104.7 WIOT. The 2019 Brewfest is set to be the biggest ever, showcasing a record-breaking pours from more than 70 national breweries. Brewfest is perfect for everyone from beginners to enthusiasts, offering samples of more than 250 craft beers and ciders. In addition to great beverages, there will be music, food and a souvenir sample cup! The All-Star Winter Brewfest starts at 4 p.m. and lasts until 9 p.m. For a full list of attending breweries and ticket information, visit hensvilletoledo.com/calendar. TRUE Q MAGAZINE
REVIEWS
Out In The Media The True Team review some of their favorites! What If It’s Us, Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera 448 pp. HarperTeen. $18.99. By Kaylee Duff
Photo by Kaylee Duff.
Released in 2018, What If It’s Us is a contemporary young adult romance novel that just does not disappoint. It’s told in split perspectives, with each author championing Arthur’s and Ben’s points of view. On a craft-level, the separate POVs are spot-on. Never once does a reader question the authenticity of voice or tone, because everything is so beautifully consistent, which can be hard to pull off. Albertalli and Silvera totally nailed it with their writing. Arthur and Ben run into each other at a New York City post office, and sparks fly, but the two part ways. Maybe the universe has other plans — until after a series of comedic events, the boys end up back in each other’s lives. What If It’s Us is basically Netflix-worthy rom-com material, but in book form, which is even better. There are enough pop culture references (everything from Broadway to Harry Potter) that there’s something in here for everyone. It is absolutely hilarious; I found myself literally laughing out loud at a lot of the jokes. Ben and Dylan might even have the world’s best bromance. On top of being wildly romantic, this YA novel gets right to the heart of friendship, and why even those types of relationships can be tricky, but are always worth it in the end. As always with these two authors, the book is overflowing with much-needed representation. The diverse cast of characters reminds us of the vibrancy of those we know in real life, and they have no qualms touching on tough subjects like race, education, opportunity and teenage sex. Really, it’s all such great stuff. The seemingly infinite do-overs in this book will have you ready to take on the new year with the right motto — that even though the universe has your back, it’s okay to take matters into your own hands. In the best way possible, What If It’s Us is truly a celebration of the culture that we live in right now.
Camp
By Chris Leaming Debuting at the Sundance Film Festival in 2003, and currently available on Hulu, Camp is my go-to feel good movie. During this film, you follow an eclectic group of teenagers during their summer at theatre camp. The movie has a tone that makes you feel like you are attending the same camp as you’re watching it. Created as independent film, the director was able to make it a little more edgy than you would expect from a box office hit in theaters (which is one of the biggest reasons why I love this movie so much). The musicality in this movie will leave you nothing but impressed, especially the opening and closing numbers. And of course, these is going to be DRAMA when you are dealing with teenagers at theatre camp. I was a show choir and theatre kid in high school and I think this movie is my go-to because it’s so relatable. From the musicals that were performed to the friendships that were made and the drama that was created, Camp is very similar to my high school experience. If you were in theatre or show choir in high school, I highly recommend watching this fantastic movie.
TRUE Q MAGAZINE
The Happytime Murders By Jeff Skinner
Anytime I want to smile or laugh, I find myself watching a Melissa McCarthy movie. If I’m feeling down or having a hard time, her movies never fail to make me feel a bit better, even if just for an hour or so. The Happytime Murders came out in August of 2018 and stars comedy powerhouses Melissa McCarthy, Elizabeth Banks and Maya Rudolph. Phil is a puppet detective who lost his job. The Happytime was an old TV show; during the movie, someone starts murdering the cast members. Phil and his old partner detective Connie Edwards (played by my favorite, Melissa McCarthy) get back together to try and find the bad puppet before the whole cast is murdered. This movie is certainly an adult comedy that is not suitable for children, but if you’re looking for a laugh and you love Melissa McCarthy and great comedy, I recommend this movie to you! JANUARY 2019 | 5
PROFILE Photo by Byron Walter.
to try and play. The crowd that was there started singing along, and we were all just having fun. It was a real casual, spur-of-the-moment type of thing. That led to me getting the courage up to ask to play a gig there. I did that, and I lived through it. I thought, “Oh, this wasn’t so bad. I should do it again.” I started venturing out to different venues, and they kept asking me to come back. One thing led to another, to another, to another. It got a little bit easier the more I did it. Then the next thing I knew, after about six months of doing it part-time, I was busy enough to start doing it full-time.
Do you have a favorite performance memory?
Spotlight On KELLY VAUGHN Get to know this americana-folk singersongwriter telling stories with her original songs. Name: Kelly Vaughn Age: 49 Genre: As far as covers, I play everything from Johnny Cash to Ed Sheeran and Rihanna; pretty much whatever your can get away with on an acoustic guitar. My original stuff falls under americana, but I also have an indie-rock feel to some of my songs. And then some of them are completely folk and tell a story. It’s a pretty good mix.
doing as a way to cope with that loss. I never imagined that I would be doing it publicly, that it would end up being my career. With some encouragement from my friends and family, I kind of got brave and started sharing the songs I was writing. It’s just evolved, and I’ve been doing it full-time now for five years. It was a little later in life, this career change.
It’s never too late to do what you love. Nope. No, not at all.
Who or what inspires your music?
Photo by Joy Kollmer Photography.
Kaylee: Why would you say that making music is important to you? Kelly: For me, it started out as a way to heal from the loss of my mom, which was actually eight years ago, to cancer. It was something I was 6 | JANUARY 2019
Initially, the inspiration was, like I said, coping with that loss and trying to process all that. I found music was this great outlet. Music is so powerful. It can change your mood, it can change your day. There are songs you hear, years later, and you still remember exactly what you were doing that first time you heard the song. I would say that it’s something that’s continuously changing for me. Now, a lot of my writing is more pertaining to things going on socially, environmentally. I might even just observe a situation and take something away from that. The short version would just be: things that move me.
How did your career get started? I was at a little pub in Hilliard. I had taken my guitar at the encouragement of some friends. I’ve always been very shy. I still have stage fright, I’ve just learned how to manage it. They pushed me
One of the people coordinating the entertainment for the Gay Softball World Series had seen me play at Southbend and asked me if I wanted to be a part of the opening ceremony. That was in 2016. I got to be a part of the opening ceremonies at the Columbus Commons. I was on the Jumbotron and everything. That was really cool. It even led to an interview on Good Day Columbus. It was pretty early, when I was just starting out, so to have that opportunity was great. To get to represent the community in that way was fantastic. My other top pick would be when I played the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2017, which was amazing. Then I have other favorite moments. I played at Mansfield’s first Pride. I played at Lancaster’s first Pride. Being a part of the small communities, trying to make a difference, that means a lot to me. It’s special to be a part of that. I also got to open for Jennifer Knapp in 2016. I’ve had some pretty good moments, and I feel very fortunate.
If you had to eat one meal for the rest of your life, what meal would you choose? I don’t think it would matter what I was eating if I got to eat with friends. Good company sometimes makes the meal even better.
Photo by Joy Kollmer Photography.
Listen to Kelly’s music online at kellyvaughnmusic.com, as well as iTunes and Spotify. TRUE Q MAGAZINE
Spotlight On The Ohio Lesbian Archives
PROFILE
This special collection in Cincinnati details the stories and the lives of lesbians and other queer-identifying folks in Cincinnati and beyond. By Kaylee Duff The Ohio Lesbian Archives (OLA) — founded by Phebe Beiser and Vic Ramstetter — has been around in its physical form for 29 years. Starting in 1989, the Archives were housed above Crazy Ladies Bookstore, a women’s bookstore in the Northside area of Cincinnati. Now, they call a basement room of the Clifton United Methodist Church their home. But the Ohio Lesbian Archives really manifested in people’s minds as early as the ’70s, due to the success of a small, local lesbian newsletter called Dinah. Dinah was created by the Lesbian Activists Bureau (LAB), explained OLA co-founder Phebe. They used Dinah to connect lesbians, queer-identified women and other curious feminists to events, hangouts and more. Before the Internet, the only other way to spread this type of information was by word-of-mouth.
There are hundreds of books housed in the OLA.
Art helps to tell the stories of lesbians and other queer women.
The newsletter also included columns and book reviews. Back then, books about homosexuality weren’t kept in libraries or sold in bookstores. Women’s presses (oftentimes code for lesbian presses) would send copies of their books to local publications like Dinah. “The expectation was that someone would read these books and review them, so we did that in our newsletter. It only went out to several hundred people, but that’s still several hundred lesbians in one shot,” Phebe said.
second floor had meeting rooms. And we were on the third floor,” said Phebe. “There was no elevator. It was not accessible.”
or rally or march, you made a flyer and put them up around town,” Phebe recounted. “We started saving the flyers. They told the queer stories. Everything was so grassroots.”
This is how the Ohio Lesbian Archives were created — they started accumulating several rare lesbian novels, as well as copies of other lesbian newsletters from across the county they’d receive in exchange for copies of Dinah.
Staffed by a team of dedicated and passionate volunteers, the OLA focuses on collecting and preserving items pertaining to lesbian (and other queer-identifying) culture and history. In addition to the hundreds of books (fiction and non-fiction) and papers they have, the Archives also house art, photographs, records, cassettes, CDs, VHSs, DVDs and countless other forms of lesbian media.
“We had all these rare books and newspapers,” Phebe told me. “We couldn’t just throw it away or be casual about it, because the public library didn’t have it and you couldn’t find it in a bookstore. It was about our lives.” At first, the boxes of materials were housed in apartments or wherever space was available. Then, in 1989, the Ohio Lesbian Archives got a room of their own, in what the community frequently called the Women’s Building. “Crazy Ladies Bookstore was on the first floor. The TRUE Q MAGAZINE
In 2005, when the Crazy Ladies Bookstore went defunct, the Ohio Lesbian Archives began the search for a new home. And they found it — a basement office room in the Clifton United Methodist Church. The church welcomes and affirms a diverse congregation, and they reached out to Phebe about housing the Archives in one of their open spaces.
They also have files of flyers, posters and other information about LGBTQ+ organizations from across Ohio, as well as Kentucky and Indiana. “Back in the day, before the Internet, if you were having a lesbian dance or coffeehouse
Although the mission of the Archives is to collect and preserve for educational purposes, Phebe also explained that the special collection exists in an attempt to maintain visibility: “My co-founder Vic and I still remember the days before people like Ellen. We don’t want to be invisible again. We want to have some control over our own story and history.” The Ohio Lesbian Archives is actually one of only a handful of small, grassroots collections not associated with an endowment or university. The public can visit by appointment. Materials can’t be checked out, but they do have photocopiers available, if needed. The OLA is a fantastic space for students doing research, or for anyone curious about lesbian history and culture, or folks looking for some inspiration and empowerment. “It’s more than a hobby; it’s a passion,” Phebe affirmed. “We’re keeping our story alive. This is the proof of our existence.”
Visit the Ohio Lesbian Archives on Facebook or at ohiolesbianarchives.wordpress.com. Make an appointment to visit by emailing OLArchives@gmail.com. JANUARY 2019 | 7
The Best Albums To Chill Out With
MUSIC
An interesting encounter with a stranger led to me thinking about my favorite albums I use as retreat and escape. By JT Lucas Being me, I tend to have a lot of unwelcome conversations with crazy people. I’m not sure if there is an aura that I put out that causes them to sniff me out and cage me in with awkward, sometimes extremely inappropriate conversation, or if there’s just something wrong with my face, but it happens a lot. I recently had an elderly lady — a complete stranger — ask me for my birthday. I gave it to her, and she then proceeded to tell me, completely off the top of her head, what she felt my specific horoscope was. It was long. My neck was getting sore from all of my polite nodding. A few minutes into this unsolicited reading, the wise old crone said, “We all omit vibrations, and those vibrations can change, uplift, and influence others as long as they are left intact. Never feel guilty about retreating and taking time to yourself to keep those vibrations healthy.” For me, retreat involves a heavy-duty pair of studio headphones, complete solitude, a lit tobacco-scented candle to remind me how cool I used to be when I smoked cigarettes, and darkness. I have relaxation playlists, but I prefer an album because I feel that a well-crafted album can transport you to another place, far away from the stresses and harsh stimuli that can sometimes build up in the current world you live in. My five favorite chill-out/escape albums aren’t the least bit current, but they work for me:
Boards of Canada — Music Has the Right to Children The best word to describe this Scottish duo’s 1998 masterpiece is “nostalgic.” The literal influence of this album is “memory” and how it can fade in and out in clarity. You can feel this concept in the album through its layered soundscapes and ghostly voices strewn throughout. Even the cover of this album is a somewhat retro ghostly family with blurred faces seeming to be on vacation somewhere. The memories are positive, though, invoking the best feelings of childhood, family and nature. Immersion in this album feels like a family car trip through the countryside with the windows down during the nicest of summer weather.
TRUE Q MAGAZINE
Grimes — Visions When she’s not ushering the downfall of Elon Musk, Claire Boucher records music as the one-woman/robot act known best as Grimes. To understand Grimes, it’s important to understand that she is not a singer. Her voice is generally distorted, then looped and layered into her compositions, creating a very digital feel. Her 2012 work, Visions, feels like a marriage of the corporeal and the mechanical, which makes perfect sense being that she seems somewhat obsessed with the idea of “post-humanism.” Yet, through the computerized textures, there’s an idyllic bliss that seems out of place juxtaposed with the dark synths. This is Claire’s version of happiness. Visions feels like the A.I. took over and humanity is over, but we’re somehow not sad about it.
Dntel — Life Is Full of Possibilities “You can turn the city upside down like an umbrella, but it won’t keep you dry.” My personal favorite chill-out album is understandably a hard sell. Jimmy Tamborello’s trademark alias, Dntel, specializes primarily in glitch electronica, adding in a wide range of unusual instruments, including a pump organ at times, to make a very unique sound. Still, through the computerized bloops and blips, the overarching theme of this album is “melancholy.” It is important to note that this album involved a collaboration with Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie. “(This Is) The Dream of Evan and Chan,” my personal favorite song of all time, was the launching pad for The Postal Service. Immersion in this album feels indescribable.
Massive Attack — Mezzanine Robert del Naja (probably Banksy) and friends were looking for an escape from the traditional trip-hop movement they were known for helping create. Cue Mezzanine, a dark, relatively
atmospheric masterpiece that was rumored to almost tear the band apart. Despite the strife behind the album, it’s actually fairly romantic, with darker atmospheric tones mixed in with a clear trip-hop influence. A recurring theme seems to be a striving for solitude with the one you love. Fun fact: they reissued this album for the 20th anniversary as a spray paint can, in which they encoded the album in approximately 920,000 strands of DNA. I imagine the DNA-encoded music player is sold separately. This album feels like finally getting home after a long day of excessive socializing to be alone and content with the person, animal or pizza that you love.
Kaskade — Strobelite Seduction Probably the most dance-and-singable one on my list, Strobelite Seduction is like one long night out at the clubs. While Kaskade, Ryan Raddon’s moniker and also legendarily straight-edge Mormon, would not appreciate the drinking or possible drug use that can sometimes be associated with club life, he can certainly speak to the seduction of the music and lights and movement in the club scene. A notable thing on this album, as well as many of Kaskade’s older albums, is how he blends his deep house roots with trance influences, then adds in some of the most ethereal female vocalists you’ll ever hear anywhere. Strobelite Seduction feels like how a night on the club should feel, propelled by dancing and beautiful strobes and truly transcendent music. JT Lucas is a Columbus-based music enthusiast, frequent concert-goer and a Carly Rae Jepsen superfan.
JANUARY 2019 | 9
COVER STORY Some spa essentials available at Artful Living.
Putting Balance Back In Your Life Lifestyle coach and boutique owner explains how life coaching works and offers some sound advice on how to de-stress after the holidays. By Kaylee Duff Karen Masters and her sister, Judy Sepko, opened Artful Living, a boutique that aims to inspire and uplift people’s lives and homes. In addition to offering lifestyle coaching and interior design services, Artful Living offers all-natural products such as spa essentials, teas and aromatherapies that help people lead a balanced and healthy life. Motivated by the influence that art has on our humanity, Karen took to lifestyle coaching to help bring balance back to our busy schedules. True Q’s editor talked to her about what that means and how we can apply her advice to our everyday lives:
Kaylee: What does your style of life coaching involve? Karen: I’m a life coach that specializes in lifestyle coaching. I help people organize and improve their surroundings, either in their home environment or work environment. Aesthetics are important to my clients, so much so that their emotions, mood, productivity and more can be affected by a lack of organized and/or pleasing surroundings. I, along with interior designers that I work with, incorporate some design rules of feng shui to make environments more functional and appealing. Our clients ultimately make all the decisions. As a life coach, we function more as guides. We help people discover what it is that they want. Then we help them set goals. A lot of people, when they come to a life coach, are looking to change their life somehow. They’re unhappy with what’s going on, going through a transition, or maybe just stagnant. We ask questions and help them discover how they want to move forward. I can’t tell somebody where they want to go. But if you dig deep enough, they usually can find it. Karen in front of her shop, Artful Living. 10 | JANUARY 2019
Then, we set goals to help them get there. A lot of people, surprisingly (to me, anyway), don’t set goals and don’t know how to set goals. Often, they TRUE Q MAGAZINE
COVER STORY just let life happen to them, instead of directing their own lives. That’s what I try to help with.
How did you first get involved in lifestyle coaching? I actually was a marketing manager for years. I was in Silicon Valley; I went out there to work on my Master’s at San Jose State University, and ended up staying there for about 26 years. California is very forwardthinking. Being a manager, I was sent to seminars and workshops to be trained to become a manager of people — a manager that asks their staff where they want to be in one year? Where do they see themselves in five years? What are the goals they have career-wise? That paved the way for eventually looking at life coaching as a possible career for myself. It seemed to come naturally to me. I grew up in Cleveland, surrounded by the arts. My parents took us to see the Cleveland Orchestra; my dad played trumpet. We were all encouraged to find something that we enjoyed. I tried piano, and I ended up in dance and gymnastics. So I thank [my parents] for starting me on the path to having a well-balanced life, and for giving me an appreciation for the arts. My thesis was in marketing the arts, because, to me, the arts were so important. And then everything was validated, when I started reading and studying how the arts affect people. Generally, they are a great stress reliever and people find them uplifting. At the end of my career, when I got out of marketing, I decided to bring both parts of me together. I opened up the arts boutique, with my sister, who has the same mindset. We believe that the arts are very important, because they develop a gentler, kinder part of humanity. When I was living in California, they didn’t really have the terminology for “life coaching” yet, but I’d say that many Californians are into some form of life coaching. They try to balance work and their social life... and their creative life. When I started hearing the term “life coach,” I said, “That’s it. That’s what I need to bring to Ohio.” I came back about ten years ago. My impression coming back was that there was this traditional Midwest mindset that life is hard, and we have to work all the time, and we feel guilty if we enjoy life. I get it… I had all the same feelings. More importantly, my impression has been that people would not allow themselves to be happy, to be optimistic. But over the past 10 years, Ohioans have been transforming… We’re eating organic, smoking is no longer allowed in office buildings. Now, we even have essential oils at CVS and Heinen’s. Essential oils are aromatherapy, holistic, natural plant, herbal and floral oils. So I got my aromatherapy certification, and I sell it out of the boutique. That, to me, is a big part of my lifestyle coaching. I bring the arts, aromatherapy and lifestyle coaching all together at the boutique.
What does a normal session with you look like? How would you explain that process of setting goals to a potential client who’s completely unfamiliar with it? It’s actually simpler than you think. I have a questionnaire to get to know you a little bit: where you’re at, background and resume information, general information. Moving from there into specific questions like, you know, what are the issues? What’s bothering you? Are you moving through a transition? Have there been any stressful life events? Sometimes, they’re not quite sure. Maybe they’ve gone through a death in the family or are feeling a little lost. There are standard questions that help pull information out of people. Then what happens is that person will start thinking a little deeper. Because we’re so busy with our everyday life, we don’t always take the time to figure out why we’re getting sick all the time or why we’re always tired. First, we’ll find out if there are symptoms like that; then we’ll dig a little deeper, to find out what we can do. Ultimately we start setting goals, to move forward. TRUE Q MAGAZINE
Lavender promotes calmness and reduces stress.
We set very specific goals. That’s an issue that most people have. A lot of people will say, “I need to spend more time with my kids.” That’s a goal. It’s not a good one, because you haven’t gotten specific enough. You need to say, “I need to spend an hour reading to little Johnny on Saturdays before bedtime.” It needs to be that specific, and it needs to be a realistic goal, something attainable. We need to “lower our bar” and just keep it simple, in order to hit that one goal. There have been studies done that have proven that goal setting needs to happen this way. You need to start out small, set a realistic goal, and hit that. Then, all of a sudden, you’re feeling good about goal setting. So you set another goal, and you hit that one. It does synergize and helps you move forward. It’s the sort of thing I do as a life coach to help people be successful.
Do you have any other extra advice or tidbits for our readers? The big thing, after the holidays, is that stress levels are up. We know all the things to do, like exercise, or go to a yoga class, or get a massage. We know to put the phone down, get off the computer, go low-tech. Put lavender essential oil in your diffuser! Those are in every book and every article. So I can give you a few fun examples of how to de-stress and add balance to your life: 1. Learn something new. Take a class. When you’re under stress, it’s good to refocus your mind and disrupt your old patterns. You get the positivity from learning something new, plus you’re focusing your mind. 2. Volunteer. You’re helping somebody else. You’re focusing on their problems and not on your own worries. 3. Go to the movies or a performance. Go to an art museum. The arts are very uplifting, and they take your mind off your concerns for a while, and that’s a good thing. Take a risk. You wonder why people zip-line or snowboard or rock climb? Those are all stress relievers. 4. Enjoy nature. If you’re not a risk taker, you can go fishing or hiking. Nature is a natural stress reliever. These won’t solve problems, but they will keep you from “boiling over.” They refocus your mind and they can de-stress you!
Visit Artful Living Boutique at 1364 West 67th Street in Cleveland. Follow them on Facebook and Instagram for updates and more! JANUARY 2019 | 11
COVER STORY
Photo by Mark Schmitter.
Hanging Out With Stonewall Sports Engaging in physical activity is one of the most popular forms of self-care. Columbus has a whole league committed to offering affirming spaces for the LGBTQ+ community to take part in organized sports. By Kaylee Duff Stonewall Sports is a nationwide nonprofit organization that offers a place for the LGBTQ+ and allied communities to play sports together. It isn’t uncommon for LGBTQ-identified individuals to feel unwelcome or unsafe in traditional sports leagues. After all, homophobia and transphobia (as well as other forms of discrimination) are pretty engrained in organized sports. But sports and other non-competitive physical activities are an important way for people to care for their bodies and meet new friends. That’s where Stonewall Sports comes in. They offer places free of judgment and fear for people to come and play — everything from dodgeball to yoga. In 2017, a league was started up in Columbus. True Q’s editor talked to Rob Leis, President and Co-Founder of Stonewall Sports Columbus, about the history and benefits of this fun-loving community organization.
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Kaylee: Tell me about Stonewall Sports and how the organization started. Rob: Stonewall Sports was started in 2010 in Washington, D.C., by a pair of guys, Martin and Melvin. They had this idea of bringing together folks in a safe and inclusive space, to play sports and create community. There wasn’t really anything that existed like that prior. What sets us apart from other sports organizations is that we go beyond just playing sports. Yes, we are organized and play organized sports, and they can get competitive. But the whole purpose behind it is education, outreach and creating an inclusive and safe space for people to get together. We try and ensure that we’re educating folks on transgender inclusion, that we’re trying to be inclusive of people from other socioeconomic statuses. All of that together to bring people together in that community space. When I was living in Charlotte, I didn’t know anybody. I moved there not knowing a single person. I met some guys and were like, “You should totally join Stonewall Sports.” I was like, “Okay, that sounds like fun.” I had no idea what it was. I joined and had a blast. I started meeting TRUE Q MAGAZINE
COVER STORY people, and it was just so much fun. The people I played dodgeball and kickball with, our team grew into something like a family. We would hang out. After practices and games, we would go have family dinner. I felt a part of a much larger community, because of this sports organization. When I moved to Columbus, Stonewall Sports didn’t exist here and there wasn’t anything like it that existed. Based on my experience in Charlotte, I felt like it needed to be here. We started working on bringing it here. We started with kickball last spring. We had 200 people that first season. This past season of kickball, we had 399 players. Now, we’re getting ready to start dodgeball and we have 266 players, which is capacity. We hear all these amazing stories about people, that this organization helped them to feel comfortable to come out to parents, friends, family. We hear stories about how they feel included. We hear stories about how this did a lot for them as a healing process, from being traumatized in gym class when they were younger. We hear all sorts of stories like that. We’re in 16 cities now, and there are stories like this across the nation, like I met my husband, I met my best friend. It’s a lot of fun. We play sports because it’s fun, but at the end of the day, it’s about coming together as a community in a safe and inclusive space. Also, as a nonprofit, we take dollars and we try and use that towards education, like how we educate our players on different things. We give money back to local community organizations. In 2018, we raised about eight or nine thousand dollars for Kaleidoscope Youth Center. They’re our primary charitable beneficiary here in Columbus. As we grow as a league, we hope to grow that amount.
Right now, Stonewall Sports in Columbus does just kickball and dodgeball? Yeah! We’ve also been doing pop-up yoga events. As a holistic national organization, we offer everything from yoga, run club, dodgeball,
volleyball, bocce, kickball, flag football. We’re trying to figure out what does the Columbus community want, and one of the things we’ve been experimenting with is yoga. It’s an awesome way to meditate and reset, and it’s also good for the body to stretch out. We offer those for free, for whoever wants to come. We usually have Equitas Health there to do free HIV testing.
How do people join Stonewall Sports? We have a registration period, a two-week window that starts about six to eight weeks prior to the start of the season. That’s because we need to get everybody registered, we need to get T-shirts ordered, we need to get people sorted into teams. People can register by visiting our website at stonewallsportscolumbus.org.
How does engaging in sports or even non-competitive activities help people’s self-care and their physical or mental health? There’s definite wellness benefits to playing sports. When you’re able to do it in an inclusive environment where you’re welcomed and accepted, it makes it that much more enjoyable. From a mental standpoint, it’s so much healthier to not have to worry about being misgendered, or made fun of for wearing short-shorts or showing up in drag. Being able to be yourself and express who you truly are, while playing sports — there’s something magical and fun about it, that you can’t explain until you’ve done it.
Ohio has two Stonewall Sports leagues — one in Columbus and one in Cleveland. Visit the Cleveland league online at stonewallcleveland.leagueapps.com for details about their league, events, registration, locations and more!
Photo by Mark Schmitter.
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JANUARY 2019 | 13
TRANS VIEW
Mental Health And The Transgender Community The trans community tends to deal with many types of mental health issues — all of which need to be addressed. By Daniel Tirabassi Transgender people that go through a medical transition need to have an important psychological diagnosis of gender dysphoria. However, there are many other mental health issues that the trans community deals with that do not get addressed, often due to the required dysphoria diagnosis. There are also misdiagnoses that occur because of a person being unaware of their own gender identity. And, to top it all off, there are general issues that the community deals with that are rarely properly dealt with in transgender people. The misdiagnoses are a great place to start when it comes to the mental health of people who may be transgender. One popular misdiagnosis that many transgender people 14 | JANUARY 2019
have experienced while coming to terms with their identity is bipolar disorders. Often gender dysphoria can present similarly to bipolar disorders. If a therapist or psychologist is not familiar gender dysphoria, they can believe that the highs and lows of dealing with a variant gender identity is a bipolar disorder. Another very common diagnosis in the transgender community, though not always manifesting as a misdiagnosis, is Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and/or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). It is not known if these disorders and gender dysphoria have any actual connection or if this is just an odd coincidence, but it is a fact that needs to be made clear. In a group that I facilitate twice a month, about 80% of attendees have stated that they have been
diagnosed at some point in life with one or both of these disorders. This can lead to an issue that many LGBTQ+ people deal with — addiction. It is common for LGBTQ+ people to cope with their identity by heavily using drugs and alcohol. The LGBTQ+ community actually has the highest addiction statics when it comes to percentage of population. The transgender community in particular has the highest statics within the LGBTQ+ community. Many end up having easy access to drugs such as Valium and Klonopin, due to a diagnosis of a bipolar disorder, and drugs such as Adderall, due to the diagnosis of ADD or ADHD. These drugs are very easy to misuse and can be done in a way that is easy to hide away from the world. This means that many suffer with their addiction quietly, making TRUE Q MAGAZINE
TRANS VIEW it next to impossible for others to figure out that there is even an issue. These diagnoses and addiction issues paired with an uncertainty of self that many transgender people feel, depression is a major issue that runs rampant in the transgender community. This issue can actually hit at many different points during a transition. Some experience it when trying to come out to loved ones, others during or after surgeries, while others develop it from living in a world that does not accept or understand who they are. The suicide attempt and idealization rates in the transgender community are much higher than the averages. Many surveys have reported the attempt rate in the transgender community is close to 50% while the idealization rate is near 98%. These numbers are truly outrageous. Another issue that is a side effect from the accumulation of all these other issues is social anxiety. It is hard for transgender people to feel comfortable in a world that tells them they do not belong. It is to be hard in a world that makes it seem like transgender people are extremely rare or unnatural. Because there are so many negative issues, people believe that the solutions are harder than they actually can be. Misdiagnoses can stop if all mental health professionals are properly trained in signs and treatment of gender dysphoria. This can start with the inclusion of World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) Standard of Care into schooling and training for all mental health professionals. Though mental health providers can choose whether to address gender issues, all should be trained properly in diagnosing these issues to ensure that misdiagnoses occur less often in transgender people. There also needs to be more research done on the connection of ADD and ADHD and transgender people. If there is a connection between the disorders and the trans community, understanding that could help with addressing with the issue — which could
then possibly happen without the use of medication. The combination of the lessening of misdiagnoses and understanding any connections between transition and ADD or ADHD can help to curb the community’s dependency on substances. Another thing that has been proven to help with addiction is transgender people’s awareness of their identity. Oftentimes, transgender people can count their time sober by also counting an important moment in their transition. Some can remember the day they came out as the day they became sober; other times it can be a surgery date or a name change or any other milestones that can help drive a transgender person to sobriety. This means that the best treatment for many transgender people is just living the life that makes them feel whole. Depression is a harder issue to combat. This is mainly because the onset of depression can be triggered by a large number of events. However, one way to try and stave off depression is the introduction of self-care. Selfcare looks very different for everyone, but the gist is to give yourself time to enjoy being you.
Some use spa-like treatments such as facials, pedicures, manicures or haircuts and styles. Others focus on stress relief through exercise, the creation of art, a long bath or shower or periodically getting a massage. The increased threat of suicide along with social anxiety can not necessarily be completely solved from within, but sort of can be at the same time. Many of these issues come from the insecurity that lives in a person told on a constant basis they should not exist. Though a change in social perception will surely make these feelings less prevalent, the release of those insecurities from within can be just as helpful. By becoming secure in who one is by blocking out the negativity of the world, the thought of leaving the world or exiting social situations become less intense because you believe that you have something to offer the world. Too often, the focus of many transgender people is how others react to who they truly are. That focus takes a toll on mental health for people from all walks of life. By shifting your focus from others’ reactions to controlling your reaction to others, your mental health becomes stronger and it becomes harder to break you down. So take time for yourself; become whoever you want to be and focus on you more than others. Then these issues and statistics will start to all but melt away. Daniel Tirabassi is a trans man whose goal in life is to make the process of transitioning easier for the next generation.
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JANUARY 2019 | 15
ARTS
Creator’s Space We’ve collected some of our favorite reader-submitted art and literature! Muse
By Emily Radebaugh
There was a time where I wasn’t sure where I was going or who I wanted to be Then I met her And she told me I could lower the horizon in the morning And I could raise the moon at night She told me Against all silence I could raise my voice So, I did I shouted to the world It’s okay to trust your heart She told me That music is forever That I shouldn’t be afraid to dream To wander unknown roads To explore coffee shops in beatnik cities So, I did I chose to sleep, write I chose to hear joy in the universe I chose to feel, love, and create She told me Once you believe All blank pages become beautiful masterpieces All your feelings All your expression runs through the indents of every canvas So, I did I painted my soul Onto open minds And I knew where I was going And who I wanted to be
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About the Poet: Emily Radebaugh is a 22-year-old student from Toledo, who is currently attending Kent State University as an American Sign Language/English Interpreting major. She truly believes that supporting the LGBTQ+ community is incredibly important. Emily wants everyone to know that even though depression is real, support systems are too; and never be afraid to be who you are and find your niche. As a person who is a part of the LGBTQ+ community, she wants to share that it is never too late to figure out who you really are.
About the Artist: Emily Hirzel is a 22-year-old graphic designer from Cleveland. She is a recent graduate of Bowling Green State University, where she received her Bachelor of Fine Arts in Graphic Design. She currently lives in Columbus with her fiancée.
Have art, writing or photos you want to share with our readers? Contact editor@onetruevoiceonline.com for more details!
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ARTS
My Civil Right, screenprint, acrylic ink on Stonehenge paper, 11” x 14” By Emily Hirzel
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JANUARY 2019 | 17
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DEVELOPMENT
Don’t Be An Idiot In 2019 Private citizens in ancient Greece who did not contribute to politics and the community were known as idiotes, originating from the word idios which means “the self.” If you did not demonstrate social responsibility and political awareness, you were considered apathetic, uneducated and ignorant. By ancient Greek standards, we have become a nation of American idiots. By J.M. Rayburn We have become a nation of American idiots — at least by Ancient Greek standards. The word idiot has a fascinating history and offers an important lesson in modern civic responsibility. Today, we use the word to denote a person of low intelligence, which is a pretty watered-down version from its original meaning. The word idiot was first absorbed into the English language following the Norman Conquest of 1066, when William the Conqueror (Duke of Normandy and, later, William I of England) invaded the island of Britain from his home base in northern France. The word idiot existed in the French language as a carry-over from its Latin roots. In Latin, the word idiota was used to describe someone uneducated, ignorant, inexperienced or common. Latin borrowed idiota from ancient Greek. Private citizens in ancient Greece who did not contribute to politics and the community were known as idiotes, originating from the word idios which means “the self.” If you did not demonstrate social responsibility and political awareness you were considered apathetic, uneducated and ignorant. The good news is we have an opportunity to change that in 2019. It starts with an appreciation that we all have a role to play in the betterment of our communities. The truth is you don’t have to run for office to fulfill your civic duties in a democracy. Here are three ways you can contribute to politics and the community as a private citizen: 1. Above all, register to vote. Verify that your voter registration information is up-todate. Vote early, vote often and vote with friends! Know anyone turning 18-years-old next year? Give them a voter registration application on their birthday and encourage them to have their voice heard on the ballot.
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2. If you find yourself with an appetite for more, consider serving on a public board or commission. The City of Columbus offers a variety of opportunities to serve on a neighborhood commission, citizen advisory panel or a historic preservation board. Typically these meet once a month and the only requirement for eligibility is that you live, work or own property in the areas served by the board or commission. You will find similar opportunities in suburban communities as well, and even on the regional level through the Mid-Ohio Regional Planning Commission. The point is these boards and commissions demonstrate social responsibility and political awareness by those who serve and by the members of the public that show up to participate. 3. If serving on a public board or commission isn’t a possibility in 2019, then consider lending your time, passion and expertise on the board of a nonprofit organization. More
often than not, the boards of nonprofits comprise of volunteers that help further an important cause or expand the reach of a community service. They are in every short supply of local champions that bring new ideas and energy. Don’t be an idiot in 2019. You don’t have to run for office to make a difference. You can vote, you can serve your neighborhood, or you can serve as a champion for a cause. Whichever path you choose, just show up and show out. J.M. Rayburn is an urban planner with the City of Dublin, Realtor with Coldwell Banker King Thompson and neighborhood commissioner for the 5th by Northwest neighborhood of Columbus. Opinions are his own and not the views of his employers. JANUARY 2019 | 19
COVER STORY
Reflecting On Our Own Mental Health In order to become the best versions of ourselves that we can be, we need to reflect on our emotional and mental health in addition to our physical health. By Kaylee Duff
want them to desire to see me, to create a shared experience in which they feel heard, respected and empowered, to create change in their daily lives outside of the counseling session.
John Wheeler is currently on his way to become a mental health counselor. Following his own unique path, he found his calling in being support for people of all communities. He actively promotes himself as an LGBTQ+ affirming counselor who will openly discuss any topic with his clients — from managing same-sex relationships, coming out to themselves and family, leaving as their affirmed identity and, most importantly, empowering his clients to live as their best selves. True Q’s editor talked to John about the importance of counseling, balancing our mental and emotional healths, and more:
I do not believe in judging people for anything they choose or believe, because I know they have chosen what works for them to survive and find a little pleasure in their life. The best advice I was given from my department chair and professor, Dr. Alan Demmitt, is that “people do the best they can with what they are given.” People just want to be themselves and live their lives in world that, in their opinion, is hard to live in. John is an LGBTQ+ affirming mental health counselor.
Kaylee: How did you get become interested in this field? John: My interest began about four years ago, when I graduated with my Bachelor’s in high school education. Upon graduating, I was hired into a high school program that served underprivileged and challenging youth in science. During that year of teaching, I was miserable and could have been clinically diagnosed with depression. I came home every day crying. I didn’t feel I fit into the staff, the job was far from exceptional, I lived alone and apart from my partner, I traveled an hour back and forth every day. Overall, I knew that something had to be different and I would have to choose something different if I was ever going to create a successful career that I enjoyed. After several months of research and hours of self-reflection, I realized that my frustration with this job stemmed from my inability to reach these children in the way that was required for them to succeed. I had to go to work every day and try to teach them science while they were more concerned with belonging, safety and family, and attempting to find some joy in their youth. It was in that position that I decided I’d attend University of Dayton and complete my Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.
Tell me about your experience with the spiritual side of your work. What is that like? Prior to beginning studying mental health counseling, I completed a Spiritual Empowerment Coaching program to become a certified life coach. My spiritual practices are important to me and play a huge role in how I treat my clients. I work to empower my clients. I never want my client to feel that they need me or they must see me in order to live their life. I 20 | JANUARY 2019
Why is it so important for people to be more in tune with their mental and emotional health?
When I look at the importance of being “in tune” with your mental and emotional health, I usually look at myself. Throughout my life, I was always the strong person that listened to everyone’s problems. I’ve always considered myself to be a genuinely happy person with no mental or emotional problems. However, when I started the counseling program where we are constantly asked to reflect on our own experience of living, I was able to pinpoint several times where I ignored how I truly felt in order to get by or maintain an image. We are trained in our culture to be strong, to be courageous and to roll with the proverbial punches. The reality is that everyone, at some point in their lives, can name a time where they needed another person. Where they needed someone to tell them that they weren’t wrong or crazy or horrible. We do not tend to value our mental and emotional health because we see it as a weakness, but in reality we have evolutionarily developed to become more social and empathetic as a species. Some of the most recent research is beginning to connect the mind-body-spirit aspects of a holistic health model, because we’ve begun to realize that treating the parts that are broken do not treat the sum of the whole person. Your mental state affects how you feel, how you feel affects how you behave, how you behave affects how you feel, and of course, how you feel affects how you think. Being present with yourself and being aware of your mental-emotional health can alter every area of your life.
If you could give people one piece of advice, what would it be? If I could give one piece of advice from my entire lived experience and all aspects of my current life it would be: “Stop judging you!” Judging yourself is one of the most unkind things you can do to yourself, and it keeps you from being all of who you can be. If you judged everything about you or compared yourself to what people expect of you, I know that, without a doubt, you will never reach your full potential. Every person has a unique ability, gift or talent they can offer to everyone (or just your friends if you want something less scary). What if every day, you woke up with a slightly less judgment of yourself… How different would your life look then? TRUE Q MAGAZINE
COVER STORY
The Art Of Massage And Acupuncture Feeling stressed out lately? Looking for a new way to manage your pain? Try getting a massage or visiting an acupuncturist! By Kaylee Duff Pain is a fact of life. We beat our bodies up doing physical labor, whether for a job or in a gym. Muscle pain, back pain, headaches and the like are all things we live through every single day. But what if it doesn’t have to be that way? What if there was a way to relieve pain and stress? Since 2019 is all about taking care of our bodies in every way we can, we are addressing unique forms of alternative pain relief. Massage therapy and acupuncture, while not at all new, are less popular ways to manage pain and stress. In fact, these practices are rooted in culture and history, and offer a holistic path to wellness. A few years ago, Terry Blankenship founded Panda Acupuncture Community Clinic, which is located in Merion Village. True Q’s editor talked with Terry about the ins-and-outs of alternative pain management, and how we can use acupuncture to address a wide variety of ailments.
Kaylee: Tell me a little bit about massage therapy and acupuncture? Terry: I’ll start with massage therapy and how it influences the body. Generally, with high stress levels, certain biological and physiological functions in the body are slowed down. [High] stress levels can prevent proper blood flow and tighten muscles, and influence how the body functions overall. The idea with massage is that it has the ability to influence the circulation throughout the entire body. By doing that, it allows processes in the body to return to normal. That’s why sometimes people have headaches, because lack of blood flow to certain parts of the head. Strengthening and loosening the muscle allows the blood to be able to reach areas where it normally should go. In regards to acupuncture, it has a similar effect on the body. It’s targeted for loosening muscles that are very tight, but it also has a very strong effect on things like increasing lymphatic flow and the immune system. It has a strong influence on the nerves in the body, helping them with conductivity and propagation. It’s also good for overall metabolism, and helping to regulate metabolism the body. I could spend days talking about acupuncture.
What are some things you would tell people who might be unfamiliar with or unsure of acupuncture? People compare the needle to a cat’s whisker, because of how flexible and tensile it is. It’s very small. Generally, average sizes are a half-inch to one inch. It doesn’t have much depth inside the body. The primary influences are on the superficial layer of the skin and muscle. The key point I would mention to draw people to acupuncture is that it’s a non-invasive, non-medicinal (meaning non-drug or pharmaceutical) way to help pain levels. It has very little to no side effects. In the U.S., the amount of malpractice with acupuncture is very, very low. In the last 20 years, it’s between five to seven percent. That just reinforces its ethicacy and safety. There’s such a wide variety of things that it can be used for. When people think of acupuncture, they generally associate it with pain relief. It also is TRUE Q MAGAZINE
really good for a lot of other things. I’ve been treating a lot of people lately for Crohn’s, ulcerative colitis, frequent migraines, generalized anxiety disorder, insomnia, just to name a few. There just seems to be a lack of knowledge for the range for this service, and what else it can do besides back pain, is something I see a lot in the Midwest.
How did you get involved in this line of work, especially with the options for alternative pain management? I started massage school right after high school, so I’ve been doing massage work for about ten years. About my sixth or seventh year, I decided that it was time for a new challenge. Also, there’s only so much you can treat with massage. Acupuncture gives you a scope to be able to target a wider range of disorders to treat. I started working with an acupuncturist in Gahanna named Melissa Yang. She trained in Beijing, at one of the best schools in the world. She really opened my eyes to the range of what it can do. Having her for a mentor for four years, especially during school, was very helpful. She showed me the uniqueness of this service, and also how to use it in a business setting, to be able to help so many people on a daily basis. The ability to provide effect care and pain relief on a bigger scale, the power of it is quite fascinating.
What advice would you give to someone coming in for their first appointment? What should they expect, or how should they prepare? I would suggest having a strong relationship with your practitioner initially, and knowing that the practitioner will guide the patient through every step, from start to finish. They’ll explain everything as it’s being done, that way there is a true understanding. Since acupuncture is such a unique service, I find it’s best to educate the patient as thoroughly as possible. The experience within the office here is guiding them through the process and informing and educating would be the best way to secure their trust, for the best outcome possible.
Learn more about Panda Acupuncture and holistic, alternative pain management at pandaacupuncture.co. JANUARY 2019 | 21
VOICES
Here’s To The New Year! Every year, people create a list of resolutions — ranging from the wild to the practical — to help them live life to the fullest. By Kaylee Duff New Year’s resolutions have been around for longer than anyone alive can really remember. It’s something talked about at the end of every year; the lists of goals are all but expected of us the older we get. They’re worked into class assignments for young students and challenges are started in the workplace. But not many people know the origins of these resolutions. 22 | JANUARY 2019
TRUE Q MAGAZINE
VOICES New Year’s resolutions actually stemmed out of ancient religious and spiritual traditions. Almost every culture had some version — from the Babylonians and Romans to medieval England and early Christianity. At the beginning of every year, of each culture would make promises or vows to their gods and rulers. Eventually those promises morphed into the version of resolutions we see today. Now, we make promises to ourselves, usually centered around how we can better ourselves, for both our benefit and the benefit of those around us. And even though many people don’t keep or stay true to their New Year’s resolutions, sometimes those promises can take hold and even change people’s lives. I stopped drinking soda as a challenge to myself while in high school, and actually stuck through with it! Now, I only occasionally drink pop (usually those cranberry Sprite ones around the holidays, because they are too good to resist), and my health has definitely benefited from doing that. The True Team took to the streets and asked our readers what their resolutions and goals were for 2019. Here’s what you had to say: • “Oh, to go on a grand adventure.” • “My New Year’s resolution is to become a morning person! I want to try to train myself to get up earlier and to actually get out of bed at my first alarm so that I can have a more productive day.” • “Read more books and find new podcasts to listen to!” • “My goal for 2019 is to get accepted into the grad school program of my dreams! Or really any grad school at all. Then also to have a great first semester as a grad student and instructor!” • “Be healthier!” • “Actually cook more food and stop eating salads for at least onethird of my meals.” • “I don’t necessarily wanna call it a resolution, but I plan to work
• • • • • • •
A LOT. And finally feel okay financially so I can feel better in the future.” “I’d love to spend time creating art.” “My resolution is to manage my time better in order to reduce my stress.” “Journal a couple times a week, and become more mindful in my everyday life.” “Learn how to bake and stuff like that.” “Maybe try and take more risks (obviously within reason) but, you know, try all the things I want to try!” “Simple: save money.” “Stay strong and continue raising my dogs.”
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FEATURE
Bringing Self-Love Into 2019 Self-affirmations don’t have to be scary! Here’s some simple goals to help you love yourself a little more in the new year. By Candelaria Mota
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TRUE Q MAGAZINE
FEATURE
Self-care is a pretty popular hot topic these days, but what does it really mean to YOU? How important is self-care to us and how does one really apply it daily? When carving even five to ten minutes a day for yourself fills you with stress, rethink it. Selfcare is a mindset thing. As we step into a new year and embrace new possibilities, we also have new opportunities to look forward to. So where do we even start?
Long time motivational author, Louise Hay, spoke very candidly about the power of self-affirmations. She spoke of looking at yourself in the mirror and saying to yourself: “I love you, I really do.” When self-doubt creeps in (and it does for all of us, no matter who you are), thinking of this affirmation and saying it out loud can be a powerful reminder of the magic that you — and only YOU — carry.
We start in a very important place: our bed. Upon waking up, before you start thinking about your long to-do list for the day, start with a thank you to the universe for simply waking up. Focusing on all the good things happening in your life will help you attract more of it in your life. Since what we focus on expands, embrace the good and watch more of it come to you. As we go to the restroom and prepare for the day, focus on the parts of you that are beautiful, those parts that make you different and unique.
Have weight loss or weight gain goals, but don’t forget to look at your body and thank it for keeping you alive. Take a long, loving look at yourself and thank it for getting you around, for keeping you in check. Instead of entering the rabbit hole of non-loving thoughts, give yourself a boost by saying beautiful things about yourself out loud or to yourself. If there were any goals to set for yourself in 2019, I’d recommend simply two things: Saying thank you more often and declaring your self-love, originality and beauty more openly. Candelaria (Candy) Mota is currently serving as Director of Community Impact for the National Youth Advocate Program (NYAP). Over the past 14 years, Candy has enjoyed her role in child welfare and has a deep passion for helping youth and families. Born and raised in the South Bronx, Candy has served her community through community organizing, case management services, counseling and advocacy across needed groups. Candy earned her Associates Degree in Human Services from Bronx Community College and her Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology from Hunter College. Shortly after completing her undergraduate degree, she moved to South Florida where she completed her Master’s Degree in Mental Health at Nova Southeastern University. She enjoys serving her Columbus community and is proud to call it home.
TRUE Q MAGAZINE
JANUARY 2019 | 25
DRAG TALK
My Year As Miss Southbend This is the first Drag Talk of 2019, but I can’t say goodbye to 2018 just yet — not without recapping my year as Miss Southbend. red carpet.” My gown was flawless; it was a rhinestoned gown with rhinestone fringe on the bottom. It shined so brightly that I think it blinded half the audience. For Gown, I wore a beautiful blue rhinestoned gown, with three different shades of blue rhinestones. For Talent, I did the song “Where’s The Bathroom” from
the TV show My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. It was a funny talent that was clean. One thing I learned that night is that you don’t have to be the best — you have to be consistent. After competing, I put on a beautiful nude gown and I lined up for crowning. Of course, I
Miss Southbend 2018 promo shot.
By Jeff Skinner 2018 wasn’t just another year for me; it was extremely special. Last January, I told myself that I would have the complete package to compete and slay! And that is what is exactly I did. It was January 18th. I was in my drag mother’s house and I looked in the corner at where everything was packed and ready to go. I thought to myself, “You’ve prepared yourself, and now it’s up to you.” For the next 10 days, I mentally prepared myself to compete against other drag queens to be the next Miss Southbend. I focused on myself, making sure I knew my self-worth. Why did I focus on that? Because Coti Collins, a friend of mine, once said to me: “Don’t let anyone determine your self-worth.” All my life I have been one to second-guess myself, but that wasn’t going to happen at the Miss Southbend competition. Then it was pageant day. I woke up refreshed; I ate a healthy breakfast (and by healthy, I mean cereal). I had to be at registration by 4:45 p.m. I did my makeup, got dressed and hit it to Southbend. I got there around 4 p.m. I went to the bar where I sat out my “Lynn For The Wynn” cards and I had a drink with the patrons. That night, I competed in Presentation, Gown, On-stage Question and Talent. Presentation was themed “a night on the 26 | JANUARY 2019
My jaw hit the floor when I was announced winner of Miss Southbend 2018.
TRUE Q MAGAZINE
DRAG TALK was so nervous! I was competing with some of the best queens in female illusion, but I collected myself and got on stage. They started by announcing the winners of each category. Connie, the MC, said “Presentation winner, Jennifer Lynn! Gown winner, Bianca Bouvier. On-stage Question winner, a tie between Jennifer Lynn and Daray Lorez. Talent winner, Daray Lorez!” In my head, I was low-key FREAKING OUT! I thought to myself, “Wow, this is a pageant!” It was too close to call from the categories, so I had no idea. Then they did placements! Bianca, second alternative. Daray, first alternative. And the winner: JENNIFER LYNN!!!! After winning, I had to get my plaque for winning Presentation replaced, because when Connie called my name as the winner my jaw and plaque hit the floor! Over the next few months, I got to crown the Southbend Royal Court. Saying goodbye to the queens and kings that were there for my crowning. That was difficult, but I was excited to crown them and get our new 2018 Southbend Court. It all started with Mr. Southbend. We said goodbye to Isaac Ishmael, and hello to Adonis Vayne. For Miss Southbend Classic, it was our first competition so we said hello to Coco Kane. Miss Southbend Newcomer came next, where we greeted my little minime, Mimi Sharp. Then it was Mr. Southbend KING, and we said hello to Austin Lee. Now that we had our Royal Court, it was time for the biggest weekend of the year! Columbus Pride in June, a.k.a. Pride Month! For me, it was a very busy weekend. I had just started my new job here at True Media and I was representing Miss Southbend, but it was so worth it! I asked my friend Que Jones if he could make me something big and poofy for
Collage of photos from my Miss Southbend pageant. TRUE Q MAGAZINE
Roller-skating through Columbus Pride in 2018.
Pride and that’s exactly what he did. It was a beautiful rainbow gown and I participated in the parade while on roller skates. How extra is that?! Connie told me, “Oh, Jennifer, you’re really going to hurt yourself.” I said, “Connie, it’s all about living on the edge!” Then of course, I started singing “Edge of Glory” by Lady Gaga. I had to be at the festival to perform immediately after the parade. I remember going to the tent and feeling a bit overwhelmed. It was super hot; my emotions were at an all-time high. I was happy and am proud of all the things that I got accomplished that day. The truth is, Pride is a special time of year. For me, I was proud to be in the spot that I was in. It was the first time I was ever proud of myself and my accomplishments. Later that night, I was in a show at Axis with Virginia West and other friends for Dragapoloza. After Dragapoloza, I went to Southbend, where I hosted the Southbend Pride Night show. After Pride, my job as Miss Southbend wasn’t over. I still had shows to host and something even more exciting for me was about to take place. The title-holder walks! This year was really the first year all state pageants in Ohio opened it up to all “title-holders.” It used to be just “state title-holders.” I
remember asking all the pageant systems if it was okay, and they all said the same thing: “You have been a great title-holder, so of course you can do the walk!” That is a huge compliment to me. I would like to say that I worked hard, but honestly, I was just doing what I felt was right. In November, my year began to slow down. I decided to do “No-Shave November” to spice things up and that worked! November was rough. If you read last month’s Drag Talk, you know what I mean. I remember being at Miss Ohio Gay Pride and doing my final title-holder walk. People were rude and saying distasteful comments, but my guard was up and my skin was thick. I raised my voice; that I am not proud of, but one thing I will not stand for is a bully. I’m writing this in December, and I have one month of my reign left. I’ve still got a lot of events to get accomplished — my birthday, Christmas and ringing in the New Year! My reign is not over yet, but here are a few of my final thoughts as a reigning queen: You can’t always impress everyone. You are the author of your own book. Don’t be afraid to go outside of the box and do things that are not the normal. Take a risk; sometimes it might just pay off. I know for me it has. When I won Miss Southbend, I didn’t have a plan or agenda. My favorite Motto is YOLO. You only live once. This year has proven to me that this is true. You only live once, so as the great Lady Gaga once said, don’t be a drag, just be a QUEEN. Laughter & Love, Jennifer Lynn Ali
JANUARY 2019 | 27
SCENES
You Are Ohio’s #OneTrueVoice Here’s some featured snapshots from the state’s favorite LGBTQ+ events and hangouts! Village Lights in German Village December 2 The historic streets of Columbus’s German Village were lit up for the holidays! In addition to the beautiful lights and luminaries, the night featured late-night shop specials, carolers, Mr. and Mrs. Claus, and delicious food and drinks.
Photo by Jeff Skinner.
Holiday Lights November 21 through January 2 The Columbus Commons sparkled with over 400,000 LED lights during the holidays. From the Columbus Bicentennial Pavilion to the tree behind the hand-carved carousel, this is one downtown Columbus’s most popular light displays.
Photo by Mike Miller.
Photo by Jeff Skinner.
Photo by Jeff Skinner.
Photo by Mike Miller.
Happy and Gay Holiday Craft Show November 30 through December 2 Hosted in the newly renovated Stonewall Columbus building, this craft show featured over 30 LGBTQ+ owned and/or affirming crafters, makers and small businesses.
Photo by Mike Miller. 28 | JANUARY 2019
Photo by Mike Miller. TRUE Q MAGAZINE
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