the monitor Volume 16, Issue 3 (April 2010)

volume 16 | issue 3

a campus collective april 2010

the monitor. news | opinions | reviews | art | more

the monitor

from the editors

a campus collective

independent quality since 1995

volume 16 | issue 3 ADDRESS CSI SUB Truman State University Kirksville, MO 63501

ONLINE trumanmonitor.wordpress.com

monitor.truman@gmail.com EDITORS

brie vuagniaux olivia sandbothe amanda vanderheyden chris drew

cover photo by |

hannah hemmelgarn All contents Copyright © 2010 The Monitor Campus Collective unless otherwise noted.

We meet every Tuesday at 8pm in the SUB down under. Each writer is responsible for his or her own work.

“We have a natural right to make use of our pens as of our tongue, at our peril, risk and hazard.” ~Voltaire, Dictionnaire Philosophique, 1764

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K-Ville Gets Interesting...

Well hey there, Monitorites!

Are you all recovering from the grand soiree that was Tom Thumb XIV? This month the Monitor is taking a closer look one of our little town’s most interesting events. Turn to page 6 for more details! Of course, Tom Thumb isn’t the only local happening on display in this month’s edition. Let’s unofficially call this one the “Kirksville’s Not Boring” issue. Why? Because we feel that it’s our duty as a paper to get YOU involved in this community.

You’re already at least halfway there if you’re reading this.

It must be true, because you decided to pick up the alternative paper. More than that—it’s because you weren’t one of those people who decided to ditch your Midwestern roots the minute you graduated high school and head off to a big city where entertainment and culture would be handed to you from on high. Instead, you came to the kind of place where interesting shit doesn’t just happen on its own—we have to make it hap-

pen ourselves. It’s a responsibility of citizenship and part of what makes Kirksville such a great place. The burden of being fun, informed, hip, creative, and productive rests on each and every one of us and from what we’ve seen there are a lot of people around here living up to that burden.

What’s that you say, you haven’t seen any of this? You’re still bitching about the dull drag of small-town life? Stop complaining and do something!

Look a little harder at what people are up to. You should actually go to those events you see advertised around campus! Begin planning an appearance at next year’s Tom Thumb. Start a band, start a club, start a party.

Figure out what’s going on in university politics—those things affect all of us, and if you think of yourself as some kind of passive customer here, you aren’t thinking hard enough. Write a letter to the editor (see below).

Get out on the square and see what there is to do here beyond Wal-Mart shopping and Pan-

cake City loitering.

A small community like Truman is a half-blank slate with space for anything you can come up with. There’s always an idea that hasn’t been thought up before, a leadership position waiting to be filled, an issue that no one’s advocating for, and a boring night that could use for somebody like you to head out and start shit. Maybe you’re already doing all of that stuff, and for that, we commend you. But maybe you still need a little bit of prodding. This is our plea to you. Be interesting. Do something. Make things. GO! XOXO, The Editors

letters send your letters to: monitor.truman@gmail.com. letters may be edited for length.

In response to the editorial entitled “Screw Caribou,” by Alex Clippinger, in the February issue: As a former Truman student, I had to take a look-see into where The Monitor, a former medium for my linguistic mistakes, has gone. And I am sad.

To the writer of this article, one thing: do you really believe world peace to be attainable by humans if we tried harder? Maybe by a more advanced life form, such as let’s say the cockroach, could world peace be attained. But not by us. That may be the real reason we protect these other species: they are the future of this planet. Not us. We

are the meddling past maintained as bodily gas (the gas of burps and farts, not the temporary leader in fightworthy commodities also mentioned in your “article”) that just can’t be quelled by any number of medicines.

In short, ending a fight in one location (your Africa ignored by hippies, which said usage by you of hippies is so grossly dumb that I can’t even-- ugh, hippies were of a time and place, you fucking dolt. Seriously, I can’t even but I digress.) does not end fighting everywhere, for all time. We are a petty species, and will never cease to fight over commodities, religion, politics, or the combina-

tion of all three. Which is what the fight in Sudan--I assume at great personal risk you were referring to the Darfur region in Sudan and the treatment of the mostly-Muslim faction of southern Sudan when fleeing and after arriving in Ethiopia (great personal risk due to interpreting the thoughts words and devices of a fucking dolt)--is all about.

So, save the caribou. Save the elk.

Save the bison. Save the meese. Just don’t save the humans. Or the whales.

Fuck those monstrous mothers.

-Matt Welker

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news

the world in brief(s)! compiled by | chris drew After being asked to remove his hood in a Southern England Jobcentre a UK man identifying as a Jedi has threatened to sue. The man, Chris Jarvis, was asked to remove his hood in order to comply with the building’s dress code. Jarvis claims being a Jedi as his religion and wearing a hood as part of that religion, and in spite of an apology from the Jobcentre has promised to sue for discrimination. Over 390,000 UK citizens listed Jedi as their religion in the last census in 2001.

The Guinness World Record holder of the title world’s shortest man passed away recently from “heart complications”. He Pingping was 21 years old and 2 foot 5 inches tall. Hailing from the Inner Mongolia region of China, Pingping gained fame in 2008 after turning 18 and gaining eligibility for the title.

The internet has made the short list of Nobel Peace Prize nominees after a campaign by the Italian edition of the technology magazine Wired. Editor-inchief of the magazine Riccardo Luna argued for the internet calling it a weapon of “mass construction” and “global hope”.

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Tutoring Underfunded story by |anna hoyt

“Most students who come [to Truman] have never had any academic trouble before,” said Director of the Truman Student Success Center, Todd Phillips. Most students come to Truman from high schools where they have been successful academically; it is a surprise to find themselves struggling in a course. Where can a student turn when such problems arise? Try the Success Center, which recently began a peer tutoring program that allows stressed students to be tutored by their fellow Truman-goers.

The program began as a conversation between now Director Todd Phillips, Lou Ann Gilchrist (Dean of Student Affairs), Garry Gordon (Professor of Arts), Maria Di Stefano (Dean of Graduate Studies), and Martin Eisenberg (Associate Provost/Dean of New Student Programs). They realized the need for an academic support system for Truman students, and believed that having such a system would improve retention rates, as well as help the student body. Another idea was the centralized training of tutors; they are now all trained the same way, which lends consistency to the program.

This department is headed by Phillips, hired in fall of 2008 with the specific purpose of creating and nurturing programs that help Truman students achieve academically. “I’m responsible for all the academic support and services offered: tutoring, training tutors, SMaCS, MAC, STEP”, he said. The department is growing, too. It now offers tutoring and other services in 80-90 different courses offered at Truman (except for writing, which is handled by another department).

In the fall, the tutoring program helped 120 students with nearly 400 tutoring sessions. This semester, as of week 10, the program boasts 200 students, and is close to surpassing 400 sessions and counting. “I think we’ve been very successful,” Phillips said.

The tutoring program aims to provide an “academic support program” for those in need and to encourage the growth of success and learning, states

the website. A student can meet with a tutor one-onone, online, or in a group setting, as well as attend Supplemental Instruction sessions (larger groups for studying a specific class) and TruSuccess Workshops (workshops to improve learning and study skills).

Their main goal is to provide help to anyone who needs it, and to improve learning “one student at a time,” said Todd.

With such numerous programs and important goals, it is hard to believe how underfunded the Center is. When asked why this was, Phillips replied, “I feel lucky to even be here”, and explained that the lack of funding has two major causes: the fact that it is a new program, and the drastic Federal budget cuts for higher education. Unfortunately there is not much the Center can do but “[be] patient,” said Phillips. According to Todd, 75-80% of his tutors are scholarship workers, which helps with the budget issues because the college helps with their pay. Truman’s soon-to-be president Troy Paino (to take office May 10, 2010) is “aware of what’s happening,” states Phillips, and is doing what he can to help including helping find funds for institutional workers in the program. They meet often in order to discus what is happening in the department and how to make improvements.

A student needing help academically should seek out the services of the Success Center’s tutoring programs. The Success center office is located in Kirk Building, room 112; also, check out the Success Center Pickler in (you guested it) Pickler library 104. Tutoring in Kirk is available, with appointment, Monday - Friday, 9:00 A.M. to 5:00 P.M. , and sessions are available by appointment for the Success Center in Pickler.

To contact the Truman Student Success Center, visit their office in the Kirk building (112), or call at (660) 785-5148. Also, email any questions to : trumansuccess@truman.edu, or visit their Facebook page at www.facebook.com/trumansuccess. And please, help support the Success Center!

Libertarians Host Anti-War Speaker story by | cole brendel

At 8:00pm on Wednesday March 17th, Glenn Nielsen, Chair Person of the Missouri Libertarian Party, came to Truman to speak about the Anti-War movement, and Non-Interventionist foreign policy. Towards the end of his presentation, Glenn spoke briefly about the Libertarian Party in general, and took questions from audience members.

I think this event was absolutely necessary, because the Anti-War movement has lost a lot of support from the Democratic Party since Obama has

been in office. Despite their fervent opposition to the war during the Bush years, once one of their own came into power they became silent.

People who are still against the wars in the Middle East need a Party who supports their ideals. That party is the Libertarian Party. The Libertarian Party has always been against the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and has not wavered in their opposition unlike the Democrats.

Hopefully in the years to come these wars will come to an end, and maybe our country will listen to the words of our first president George Washington, and leave other countries alone, and worry about fixing ours first.

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...more news Paino: Students need to be involved as budget decisions loom interview by Olivia Sandbothe and Chris Drew Monitor: Do you want tell us a little about your background?

Dr. Paino: My background personally and professionally goes throughout the Midwest. I went to Indiana University school of Law and practiced law for three years before I went back to school to get my PhD. at Michigan State University in American Studies, and from there I joined the faculty at Winona State University in Minnesota in the history department. I served there first as a history professor but then later as the dean of the college of liberal arts before coming here to Truman two years ago as the provost.

ition raises. So the burden shifted from the State to the students and now right onto the back of the universities and the employees of the universities. I think unfortunately over the course of the next two years students are going to notice that there are some things that we just cannot do. I as the president would like to hear from students saying what it is they can’t do without.

Monitor: Many people have called for the University to improve its environmental policies. Where do you think there is room for improvement on campus?

Monitor: How do you like Kirksville?

Dr. Paino: I like it a lot. I have a family, two daughters, a 10 year old and a 12 year old, and a wife. It’s been a very welcoming community for me and my family and we’ve been very happy with that. The girls have gelled right into the school system here and made some friends. Wynona, Minnesota is not dramatically different; it’s about 28,000 people compared to 17,000 here. The school I worked at was about 8,300 students compared to about 5,800 students here, so everything is just a little smaller here. We’re used to not having malls or tons of restaurants. We like the convenience of a small town. We like the character of small towns.

Monitor: What things should students be aware of that are changing or emerging as issues at the university level?

Dr. Paino: Most people are aware of the challenges for the budget standpoint; I don’t know if people are aware of the enormity of the challenge. The cuts we are looking at for this coming year and the year after are monumental and could completely change the nature of what it is we do here. Essentially since the late 90s our state funding has held flat. We are getting the same money that the university was getting back in the 90s, and we all know about inflation and costs. We’ve essentially had to stop hiring faculty and staff for the last two years, and probably it will go for another year. People haven’t had any raises for the last couple years and it will probably be a couple more years, quite honestly. Times are tough, and this is going to start affecting the quality of the education. Truman has set itself apart in many respects, and one of the ways is the contact between students and faculty, the ability for faculty to work closely with highly talented students. You aren’t going to get that experience at most public universities.

Our ability to serve the students in the way they have grown accustomed to is going to be seriously threatened. The gradual cutback of funding to public universities has been going on for a while, and that gradual decline really became a serious issue in the last 10 to 15 years. Initially what universities did to respond to that was to increase tuition, and then States started clamping down on what universities could do in terms of tu-

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out of our budget. At some point, not just in the humanities, we are going to have to start asking ourselves what is it we are willing to cut. I want to insure the quality of our academic programs, so if there comes a time when the cuts are so severe the question is do you continue to do across the board cuts where you diminish the quality of all our programs a little bit, a little bit, and a little bit, and die a death of a thousand cuts, or do you make some difficult decisions and say, okay, there are some programs that have to go away. It is a decision I don’t want to make. I think all the programs we offer are important to our mission.

troy paino will become truman state’s 16th president in may.

Monitor: The humanities are often the most vulnerable to this kind of crunch—what are you doing specifically to preserve those departments?

Dr. Paino: I come from a humanities background, so I feel very strongly about the core of the humanities. If you were to look at the disciplines that have taken the biggest hits course of the last 20 or 30 years it’s the humanities. That’s largely because of what has happened in higher education in general, and because of the pressure that’s continually placed on Truman to have a more vocational bent to higher education. Everyone essentially wants it to become a workforce development approach to higher education, and that’s really concerning to me. I think it’s shortsighted, and I’m sort of the voice out in the wilderness right now talking about the value and the importance of keeping a public liberal arts and science university intact and to continue to fund things like the humanities. We have a fairly large and strong classic and modern language department, for example. If you look around the country those programs that are taking the hit are things like French or German or Latin.

We offer things here that went by the wayside at other universities a long time ago. We try to stay true to our mission. While I was in Jeff City I heard one lawmaker say “well, don’t you think that having a liberal arts and sciences university is a luxury we can’t afford anymore?” That’s really troubling to me. I think Missouri made a very enlightened decision back in the 1980s to designate a school as its public liberal arts university. I hope that now, facing these economic challenges, they don’t lose sight of that vision.

We are looking at, best case scenario, 5.2%, worst case scenario, 8.2% cuts in our state appropriation for next year. Our state appropriation is around 43 million dollars. The year after we are looking at, best case scenario, a 12% cut and a worst case scenario of a 20% cut. Add those two years together and think about how much money is coming

Dr. Paino: I’ve talked to students and faculty on campus who are very interested in us ramping up our efforts to make the campus more “green”. One of the things that I would like to do is really think about developing a strategic plan for the campus in terms of how to make ourselves more environmentally sustainable. In terms of what we can do with the buildings, we don’t right now have specific research on which building needs to come first, although I know that there are some concerns with the library. We need to make all of the buildings more energy efficient, and we also need to be more efficient in terms of our food supply, in terms of our fuel consumption, in terms of our energy consumption.

All of these things I would like looked at.

Monitor: What can you tell us about the proposed changes involving a cafe in the library?

Dr. Paino: We’re thinking about it in terms of a learning commons. What libraries are has really changed pretty dramatically over the last 10 to 15 years. The way people research and use libraries has changed a lot. We are rethinking the services we provide to students to create an environment that is more consistent with how students use the library. I know a lot of focus has been on the cafe but the real focus is how to turn that first floor into a learning commons that students might be able to use for multiple purposes and also stay there for extended hours. Having a first-class library is important if we are going to be the kind of institution that we are trying to be.

true to its core mission and that hasn’t been knocked off of its focus as a liberal arts and sciences institution. I think this is a time when people could be tempted to make short-term decisions that could have a lasting impact. I don’t want us to lose sight.

Monitor: Do you have any plans for improving the relationship with the city of Kirksville?

Dr. Paino: Yeah, that’s going to be a top priority for me. The phrase I’ve been using is that I would like to lower the drawbridge from the university into the community. The fortunes of Kirksville and Truman are intertwined, and I think it is in Truman’s best interests to make sure Kirksville is successful economically and otherwise. I think you know as a prospective student that if you are coming to a town that has some life and some vigor, it is a little bit more welcoming. So, it is important to me from a recruiting standpoint, but it is also the community in which I live. I want Kirksville to be successful. Anything the university can do to partner and help attract new business to town-- I want to do that. I also want to encourage those types of businesses, especially downtown on the square, that will be student-friendly. We’re not that far from downtown. I would like to have an almost seamless feel from campus down to the square so that you really get that feel that when you come to Kirksville that this is a college town. Of course as is always the challenge for a college town for about four months out of the year the students aren’t around so businesses have to be able to survive year round, but I think it’s really important to collaborate with the community.

Monitor: As Truman’s national profile rises, what do you want us to be best known for?

Dr. Paino: There are so many things. First and foremost is academic quality, that prospective students and their families recognize that if they want to pick an institution where they can get a world-class education that can compete with any institution in terms of the quality of their education, but do it at an affordable price, that Truman-particularly for the Midwest but I would want to say for the entire nation -- should be on their shortlist. I think it should also be known paring the next generation of leaders, and as an institution that has remained

Mary Bauer is crowned Miss Northeast Counties Feb. 27th. Photo Credit: George Barlow.

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opinions

MICHAEL FOOT, TOUGH OLD BRITISH RADICAL EST MORT- A VERY PERSONAL RECOLLECTION!

opinion by |larry iles

Michael Foot’s favorite bibliophile Frenchman was the fine essayist and stylist, Montaigne. Even though the “fables” of this writer teach us to accept our death as ordered classical fate all of us unsurprisingly should find “natural” as part of living a good life. Foot’s death at 96 yesterday in my native Great Britain is, however, something of a shock. And its impact on overall European culture is stunning; a loss felt equally as of the last of the older Kennedy (Progressive American) or older Trudeau (Canadian Liberal) dynasties on this continent. When I last saw and heard Michael orate at a sparsely attended Brighton cinema rally for his multi-volume biography of ex-miner minister Aneurin Bevan on the subject of war crimes by dictators, he could barely speak or stand, despite his walking stick, with his immense wild gray hair blowing in the air conditioner behind the stage. Already cruel disablement, and this was all over five years ago!

Foot came from a family of brilliant, intellectual, mostly male politicians in England’s West Country, home of the Plymouth founding fathers. And indeed when first, finally, elected as a Labour MP in 194, he represented that WWII Fascist-bombed city, where his father had built up a law business, always fee-waived and accessible to the poor.

The male bias was something the Foot brothers found hard to overcome in themselves. John, later Lord Foot, the youngest brother, whom I have a treasured fine prose letter from, found contrasting happiness sexually with an American wife whose natural zest enabled her to withstand Isaac, the solicitor patriarch. Michael had a harder time, being rejected by the late cute Socialist redhead Lady Barbara Castle, in many ways his muse, for, probably, being inherently a “too rational Liberal”. In the end he outlived the divorcee film producer he did marry. Even she, Jill, found the vast book collections he filled their houses with near “unbearable.” Like his father, Michael made his living out of both journalism and book-collecting.

But “Footie”, as Conservatives and Liberals derisively castigated him, was no mere ineffectual Labour intellectual, after his conversion to Socialism upon encountering the impoverished slums of the future Beatles’ Liverpool seaport city in the 1930’s, where he arrived for shop clerk work, so fresh from a privileged Oxford University Liberal club background that his straight-laced mother had expected for him. He rose to be not only Secretary of State for Employment in the 1970’s minority Labour governments but, , truly the explosive and fiery conscience of both Europe’s and even this continent’s intellectual left; that part, that is, that takes part in elections. And that does not hide in artificial tenured academe as too many in Can-US-UK inertly do!

Occasionally, this almost willing identification by Foot with what he interpreted as “the people’s cause” led to bizarre wrong-headed causes even in the eyes of his European economic and political unity against US monopoly and war capitalism. Foot led the 1975 Referendum opposition to the UK’s continued EU involvement, claiming that the popular UK Commons ancient “sovereignty” was at perishable stake. Literarily, too, he had Tory prose heroes like the satire ridiculist J. Swift because he (overstressed) their nonconformity aspects, or of least for sheer word display power as in

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Swift’s pompous anti-war whig Gulliver’s Travels book.

He unfortunately was not a sucess when reaching the ultimate pinnacle of official leadership of the whole vast Labour party up against Margaret Thatcher in her first reelection as UK PM in 1983. It wasn’t even that he had been wrong-footed on her Falklands war cries, as wisely he made for many of us (I was then in my own youthful Liberal party allegiance), that the then Fascist Argentinian force should be opposed! Instead, alas, Foot’s oracular long- sentenced style, and passionate unscripted speech, were usuited for rivalry with Lady Thatcher’s Reaganesque TV soundbites and vast business funds. And vast elements of Labour’s priveleged ranks broke off to form a third party in disdain for his hostility to the EU-- worthily, but surely very unworthily too, for the antagonism of his his long-held campaign for nuclear disarmament for Reagan (and the youthful Cheney) saddled upon us cruise nuke missiles, the mass women’s protests from Berlin to Greenham Common! Michael, a man of rooted conviction and carnivorous combat zest, had taken on in early aging, more of the status quo than even he could overthrow, as a Radical socialist and pretty open agnostic.

Hovever, his monument is all around you, especially in his copious Monitor-style columns, most easily accessible in the Free Daily Herald you can see in the third floor of the Ellis Library in Columbia, where in the 1940s and 50s re rages against Tory fascists and for Bevan’s 1948 free National Health Service, still surviving. Books, Google and BBC still serve up his womndrous speeches, forever, hopefully. He will be missed for his unrivalled eloquance. Read him!

A Call to Sporulate

Our Representatives opinion by |james ginns In these frustrating political times, I always like to point out that our political system is working exactly the way it is designed. People bewail partisanship,but reward it at the ballot box. In the most contested US elections, there are two choices. There is a Republican and a Democrat. If you want more choice, go to the primaries!

I think an individual can really hold a politician or their party accountable for three things (two issues and a tie breaker).

Sometimes these issues can seem frivolous to me, though dead serious to others. I don’t care about gun control or abortion and it seems strange to me that so many are willing to elect any douche bag that conforms to their position. But hey, it’s a democracy.

Of course politicians recognize this, and pay lip service to these hot button issues. Take “fiscal responsibility”. Let’s face it, anyone who thinks the Republicans are the party for fiscal responsibility has their thumb up their ass. During the Dubya Bush administration, Bush pushed for massive tax cuts and waged two expensive wars. Given the debt accrued

by Bush, Obama’s programs may in fact be unaffordable, but for Republicans to attack them as fiscally irresponsible would seem to ignore eight years of recent political history.

So what do you do when neither party represents your interests? For me, the three issues are energy, health care and education. When a Republican expresses these views I will vote for him/her. For now though, I’m a solid democrat. But what might happen if Democrats committed themselves to the fantasy called “clean coal” and insisted on building more coal plants via massive federal subsidies? My answer is somewhat tentative. I don’t trust Republicans to have a better agenda, On the other hand, I can’t hold a politician accountable without being able to reach “across the aisle” as they say in politics. To the extent that people are unwilling to ever abandon party loyalties, politics will always be partisan. And unless people are willing to vote third party, there will always be just two choices.

from SLF (spore liberation front) “radical mycology” zine, spring 2009, anti-copyright How we choose to spend the few years we’re allotted on Earthfrom the interactions we have with each other to the ways we choose to heal or steal from the planet- is a serious decision with measurable consequences. We determine what quality of life our children will be able to play in, what quality of air they will have to breathe, what fauna and flora they will gaze at in wonder.

If an individual takes the time to reflect upon this fact and proceeds to actually do something about it, their perspectives on life and living from then on will be different. Unable to continue ignoring the impact of one’s own actions, cognizant individuals can choose to apply a socio-political evaluation to everything they participate in.

When we choose to affect the world around us directly, we begin to realize the potential every person has for making this world a better place to live and thrive in. We begin to grow.

In many ways, one’s conscious relationship with mushrooms can directly foster this desire for change. The complex life cycle of mushrooms provides profound and novel examples of networking between different species and environs not exhibited by most other life forms. These actions show a sentient concern for not just the mushroom involved but for the surrounding environment as well. We believe that as one learns more about these habits, and the ways in which they can influence our own human behavior, one quickly begins to perceive the interconnectedness of life surrounding them all the more clearly.

Mushrooms spend the majority of their lives as a vast underground web-like structure referred to as mycelium. This mycelial network has been called the earth’s central nervous system- it’s natural internet- to to the way in which information and resources (such as water and minerals) are exchanged and communicated through it in a methodic, rapid, and sentient manner. Adaptive, creative, and aware, the mycelial network interacts with its host environment in a symbiotic manner with the health of the greater system in mind.

We, the members of the Spore Liberation Front, see the life cycle of mushrooms, and especially this mycelial stage, as a metaphor for the way humans can choose to interact in and with Gaia, our one world. As an endless cycle of growth, decay, networking, sharing, and purification, this cycle is, for us, a process both beautiful and enchanting, complex and intriguing; more than the life giving destruction its job as decomposer appears to be.

Just as mushrooms use their abilities to share nutrients with plants and break down toxic chemicals to keep their microcosm cleaner and healthier, so can we as humans live committed to the health of our planet through our natural role as stewards and care takers of the land. Like the mushrooms—and their mycelium—that form from individual spores to flourish and co-exist with nature in harmony, so too can we choose to spend our existence interconnected with each other and the planet to grow and live better, fuller lives. Mushrooms teach us how to care for each other, how to see life as a perpetual cycle of interdependence, a fragile balance where not one species dominates but all rely on each other. They help us reconnect with and accept an often denied and feared aspect of the wheel of life, that of death and decay.

Through hunting for and growing our own mushrooms, we learn the value of subsistence and living off the land, of subverting capitalist economic structures, of making our own medicines, and of connecting with the natural world. Using mushrooms for remediation purposes, we are able to reclaim land that has been stolen and destroyed by others that came before us. We are able to put our hands in the dirt directly, healing the damages done so that all life may continue on stronger, healthier, and freer.

Just how crucial mushrooms will be in saving this planet (and ourselves) from the brink of collapse will only be told in time. For now, we urge you, our symbiotic allies and radical mycophiles at large, to put the information we present in these pages to work.

For we truly believe that the coming revolution in human existence will be (in ways both literal and metaphorical) a mycelial one.

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tom thumb!

The first-ever gallery, in 1998

Founder Kjell Hahn, 2001

Local Tradition Blasts Into the New Decade

Jim Jereb smashes a TV in 2001

story by | brie vuagniaux

Who is Tom? What is so special about his thumb? In old English folklore, Tom is a thumb-sized boy who was wished to life by his infertile parents. In different versions of the story, Tom ends up cooked in a pie, eaten as bird-food, eaten by a cow, etc., but in Kirksville, Tom Thumb transends legend, and comes alive in the form of a chaotic and spontaneous combustion of student/professor/town-produced art, performance, and music.

Tom Thumb started back in 1998, and has since clenched its fist on Kirksville some-what annually to squeeze out raw talent--- much like ground beef from its wrapper.

Tom Thumb was originally created by two students, Jimmy Kuehnle and Kjell Hahn, both of whom have now graduated and work as professional artisis. They wanted to create an alternative space outside the university for art and expression. Tom Thumb was meant to be an outlet for students to share themselves without restrictions imposed by the by the University. Past Tom Thumbs show how things get without restrictions. The beauty. The terror. The all around healthy and necessary force that is free expression. In 1998, when Jimmy and Kjell cleared out Kjell’s apartment for Tom Thumb I, and spread art on the walls. They began a tradition that our community has upheld to this day.

Atendees take up spray paint, 2000

The gallery doesn’t reject any submission (ehem! like the Monitor..), allowing for goddam anything to be brought to the table. That’s not the only Monitor-Thumb connection, by the way. When our paper was relaunched in 2008, it kicked off at that year’s Tom Thumb. In past years, the gallery has also hosted a fairy wedding, the trashing and graffiti-ing of a kitchen, the destruction of television sets and other electronic equipment including micro-film machines and computers with sledgehammers, a synthesizer performance in a bathroom darkened with trash bags and lit with candles, and mystery mazes and bowling alleys. The festivals often have a guest speaker, who may or may not be clothed. Thumbs have been held in the former Aquadome, the old One World Store, the Kirksville Arts Association, and the Washington School; because of this it’s known as a “floating” festival.

Special thanks to Jimmy Kuehnle, Allison Sissom, and Matt Johns for help with this article.

Carving a roast pig, 2001

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the monitor | 6

..continued Tom Thumb XIV was held April 9-10 at the former Aquadome, a pair of unused storefronts behind the downtown movie theater.

The theme of the night was “The Bamboozlement of Franklin Pierce,” in memory of our nation’s oft-forgotten fourteenth president. Mr. Pierce himself made a condiment-drenched appearance-- but one of many memorable performances showcased at the gallery Friday night. A number of musical acts (including our own Brie Vuagniaux, bottom left) revealed our town’s underground talents. The art on display showcased every imaginable medium.

The keynote speaker was Shaun Gaynor. This year’s event was organized by Allison Sissom and Matt Johns. Thanks to their hard work and that of their many partners-in-crime, Kirksville woke up after this weekend with the very best kind of hangover. We eagerly anticipate the next installment in this absurd saga.

photos: amanda vanderheyden

photo: aaron roberts In other exciting news, we want to congratulate George Barlow, local photographer and friend of the Monitor, who won Rebecca McClanahan’s 4th annual photography contest at the Kirksville Arts Association on March 4th. We are proud to have him as part of the Monitor team.

These are a few of our favorite Barlow shots. volume 16 | issue 3

the monitor |7

special section Classes Announced at the Possibility Alliance feature by |michelle martin

Haven’t you always wanted to learn how to can your own food so you can have organic, locally grown tomatoes even in the middle of winter? How about how to build your own house out of adobe or cob? Fix your bike? Make cheese and sourdough bread?

I present to you the Possibility Alliance’s schedule for spring, summer, and autumn classes. If you haven’t heard of the Possibility Alliance, they call themselves “an educational center practicing simplicity, self-reliance, service and gratitude.” In a nutshell, it’s a homesteading experiment in La Plata that values sustainability and service to the community. The home runs on no electricity and they make almost everything they use, down to their candlewax. These people have hosted thousands of visitors at their home who wanted to learn from them. Their guiding statement is to live so that all life can thrive. Simple and powerful. If you haven’t visited, I’d highly recommend it. They are very down to earth and enthusiastic about their mission. But just a warning-your overall perception and values might shift a little!

In addition to these classes, which last just a few hours each, you can also head over for a tour on the second Saturday of each month starting in April and ending in November. And if you want to spend some time learning handson, come by on the last Saturday of every month from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. for a Volunteer Day. Remember to call the folks at the Alliance for registration and to pack a bagged lunch.

Here you are, mark your calendars because the first classes are starting within the next week or two! I will leave you with the passionate words of Ethan Hughes, who runs the Possibility Alliance with his wife Sarah: “I know that if [the roof] fell on me right now, I would be content. I feel like I’m living my life to the fullest, and I go to bed feeling very content. I see that what a lot of people are lacking is not food, shelter or clothing. I have friends who have their Ph.D’s, and they’re not content. I think content means living everything that’s in our heart, no matter what the risk.”

You can contact the Possibility Alliance at 660-332-4094, or at the physical address 28408 Frontier Ln. La Plata, MO 63549.

volume 16 | issue 3

the monitor |8

prose

Because She Loved McDonald’s

feature by |linh dao

People often asked me why I went to America.

I said I wanted to fall in love. People then asked me, so did you fall in love with anybody yet? I said I did fall in love with McDonald’s. People told me that I was really special. No, I was not.

My grandmother was the one who is special.

Back when I was in Vietnam, I ate a lot of vegetables with rice every single day. People in America would tell me that I ate healthy back then. But the fact was I ate that way just to fill up my stomach, not because of any other reason. Not only me but my entire family ate the same kind of diet everyday. My grandmother cooked. We were just poor.

When I was 16, my grandmother was found to have blood cancer at the last stage. The doctor required her to live in the hospital so she moved there to live with a lot of strange people.

She could not cook for me anymore. As the new cook, I came back to her house after school and saw my old grandfather sobbing in a dark corner of the house, trying to wash some rice with his quivering hands. I hurried to him, getting him up just to see that the sixteen-year-old me was not much stronger than the ninety-years-old man holding on to me to breathe through the pain.

I could cook, but I was never a great cook. All the schoolwork, and then housework, squeezed all of my energy as if they were squeezing a spoiled lemon. I could cook nothing but vegetables. I could not even cook meat for my grandmother.

Sometimes we bough her McDonald’s. It tasted great, and it also had a great deal of energy in it. We were grateful. The only problem was we did not have that much money. Eventually, we could not afford that much McDonald’s, especially when it is so expensive in my country.

The more time passed, the weaker my grandmother got. Then it came to the point that she could only lay in bed all day long. One day, I got a piece of newspaper that talks about the price of McDonald’s in some other countries. Suddenly, something brightened the darkness of my mind. I felt as if I could feel the world outside with my bare feet. I needed to walk out of the hospital, the city, the country that I have been living in my entire little life. I felt as if I was ready to run, to get to Overwhelmed in the tangible happiness that I myself could not even describe at that moment, I whispered in my grandmother’s ear, when she was sleeping quietly, that I would go abroad and bring her there with me to go get some fast food. I loved her peaceful face when I said that because I assumed that she was listening to me and that she was smiling in her dream. But most of all it was because of the moment that both of us shared- the moment of reaching out to something so simple yet so precious in our common lives.

Learning English was one of the most exciting experiences once I figured out the reasons why I needed to learn it. The boundless ocean of information that I could jump into opened in

front of my eyes as soon as I started my very first course of English as the first language, not as a second language. My mind was in a prison at first, since I could not understand anything the instructor was saying, and could not contribute anything back to the class. But the little things that I got, about truth, and life, about the world outside, as well as the future that I myself could build up by my own hands with knowledge, were precious .

The more information I got out of the course, the more I craved for it. I even brought papers with me to read while I was with my grandmother in the hospital. Whenever I had time, such as when she was sleeping, or when she was laying quietly, I would sit by her side, reading one of the English newspapers without understanding half of them. She often looked at me proudly but sometimes she also stared at me in curiosity. Sometimes I forced myself not to look back at her eyes, because she would get tired, and would close her eyes painfully. I would not be able to hold the smile on my face after that, knowing that the intangible deadline was coming up for my study partner to leave while I had not learned anything much.

Being close to her and being further away from her everyday, I began feeling the rush of learning day by day. I started learning every new words that I found in the newspaper as I was craving for words, for the language, and the future that both of us could hold on to. I loved to use my pen and my pretty pink notebook, carefully writing down all of them as well

as their meanings and when to use them. I did it all the time, around 2 or 3 in the morning after I finished my homework, in the kitchen every afternoon while I cooked soup for my grandmother, or during the break at school.. There is only one place, the universe that all the words I learned created, that made me dazzled. I was amazed by that place where I was not poor, not tired of cooking, not scare of losing my grandmother but bravely breaking the boundaries that I was born into every single day.

That place was almost like an escape, and at the same time as a settlement. Surprisingly, it was just all about learning words and phrases, nothing more than that. But that fact did not discourage me at all. By the end of the course, I was able to read Oprah’s Magazine to my grandmother. Then we heard about an exchange program in America and I did all the paper work in a week. By the beginning of August that year, I went abroad, with the promise to my grandmother that I would be as proficient as the native English speaker and then get a scholarship to complete my education in the States.

Pursuing a degree in America right now, I realized how literate I am in the English language, and bitterly how a part of our dream never came true.

That promise I made was in my dream only since my grandmother passed away a month before I left.

She could never go to America and eat McDonald’s with me. But the simple dream that she gave me, the dream about something bigger to me than it is supposed to be for other people, is still alive in my heart.

drama by |matt ziegler

were defeated once and for all.

Teacher: Excellent answer. So far so good.

Now for the final question which will determine either your eternal enlightenment, or whether you have to wait another 10,000 lifetimes to get back to this point. Are you ready?

Snyder: Saint Obama I hope so...

efforts to build a new universe, that it will only last for about 10 generations due to my insidious fascination for super-lightning.

The Quest to Nirvana Disclaimer- Warning: A close reading of this play may cause enlightenment. READ WITH CAUTION.

Teacher: Correct, you really know your Korean History. Number 2---

[Classroom Setting- Sometime in the future]

[someone in the class giggles]

Teacher: Now Class, Since today is your last day at the Ratiug Center for self-Annihilation, we will be taking a comprehensive exam to test whether you are ready for enlightenment.

Damnit Montee, I’ve completely had it with your immaturee sense of humor. That’ll be 93 lives as a microbe feeding on cat piss, followed by 8,423 lives as an anima cactus infected with the infamous Sedicius Parasite.

Charles: What? No, c’mon. I didn’t mean anything by it. It was your inflection, I swear.

Please don’t send me back to the cat piss.

[Starts passing out tests] As you know, failure to complete this exam perfectly and in its entirety will result in 10,000 more lifetimes in the cycle of suffering. You have all worked a very long time to get to this point in existence, so I wish you all the best of luck .

Snyder: Holy Guardian Morrison?

Teacher: Yes Riccardo?

Snyder: As you know, in my last 36 lives I was confined to the dung heaps of Southern Notlem and lost the ability to comprehend written language.

Teacher: Shit, I almost forgot. Yes, I’ll administer your exam orally. Number 1: How did Saint Toby finally relinquish the final form of Hitler, also known as Giga-Hitler?

Snyder: Saint Toby first located the capstone in the second realm of the Caspian Sea, and then used it to summon Sylvester Stalone’s undead manifestation. Saint Toby knew that Stalone’s zombie form was the only creature capable of defeating Giga-Hitler due to his proficiency in boxing, rock-climbing, and talking incoherently. Saint Toby then went to Giga-Hitler’s lair and summoned Zombie Stalone in a surprise attack on Giga-Hitler.

After this battle, Giga-Hitler and the sixth reich

volume 16 | issue 3

Teacher: Too late for begging.

[The teacher snaps his finger and Charles immediately drops dead for the remainder of the scene] Sorry about his shenanigans Nick. Where were we? Ah yes, Number 2-

Teacher: Who won the final race in the 20th century 2-D classic, Chariots of Fire?

Snyder: Oh fuck, um....fuck, I know this....um, shit, um, the character....played by....fuck.... what’s his name....um, ben cross was the actor....um, who the fuck was that....um...Harold Abrahams??

[There’s a long dramatic pause. The teacher stares at him, then at the ground, building tension and suspense. After way too much awkward silence, the teacher jumps up and lights start flashing vigorously. Music begins playing, confetti falls from the ceiling, and everyone on stage begins dancing as if on the Ellen Degeneres Show. The teacher then takes Snyder by the shoulder.]

[looks quickly around the room] Why did the High Antarctic Court deem Europe the loser of the third and final transatlantic Armageddon showdown?

Teacher: Congratulations, Michael, You have finally reached enlightenment!!!

Snyder: Um...Well after Chancellor Barthusser of the South American Confederation created the super-virus which accidently wiped out the world’s communication infrastructure, General Washington was able to bribe the Court with a wax statue of Helen of Troy II. The American Requiem Agency promptly found out and sent a counter-bribe of the restored body of the original Helen,and since the court was comprised of uncontrollable necrophiliacs, America won the showdown.

As you know, Enlightenment is the ultimate reward for countless lifetimes of suffering and stress. How that you’ve achieved this eternal state of being, what will you do next, Jimmy?

[Crowd cheers a bunch]

Snyder: Well, first I’d like to thank my 96,847th set of parents. They believed in me when everyone else just told me to go exhume some more sulfur. Now, since I’ve always wanted to author a new reality, I think I’ll go hit the shop to start molding stars and alternate life-forms. I now however realize that despite my greatest

Teacher: Wow, your omniscience is already kicking in. That’s amazing, Simon had to wait--Snyder: [Interrupting quite furiously] You mother Fucker. I should have known that you were the one who created the Bubonic plague which devastated medieval Europe.

Teacher: [Defensively] Shit man, that was in the past. This is obviously a big misunderstanding. I knew you loved Sir Ballentine, but it was his time to go. And I mean, he was kind of asking for it by keeping so many rats as pets.

Snyder: No, Fuck You. That was my only incarnation as a human female. SIR BALLENTINE KNEW WHERE MY G-SPOT WAS!!!!

FUCK YOU. [Snyder advances and towers over the teacher. He begins to raise his tightly clenched fist] Teacher: I’m sorry, I’m sorry. B. B. King commanded me to unleash the plague. Europe was far too crowded with charlatans and brothels. There was so much sin. I was only following orders....

Snyder: I don’t give a fuck what you have to say. I will fuck yo ass up!!!

[Snyder is about to pummel the teacher into total oblivion when there is an enormous crash and a blinding light fill the entire theatre] Very Loud Deep Voice: Enough with this petty skirmish. Your axioms are completely out of line...

Snyder and Teacher [in unison and utter amazement]: Oh fuck................It’s Kant!!!!

[END]

the monitor | 9

more prose acqua alta fiction by | ricola suave

“Kirksville is really filling out in the middle,” said one model citizen, referring to the new businesses popping up in the downtown area. Included in these are a greek restaurant, two coffee joints, a deli, a sushi shop, and yet another Christion thrift shop. Two more exciting additions are in the construction phase. One is an independent movie theater, bakery, and ice cream parlor located in the Pickler’s Famous building. The other, separate but equally exciting, is a locally-grown grocery store called “Near and Far.” Near and Far is expected to open this April.

As my roommate said when I complained about buying non-slip shoes for a new job, “You gotta spend money to make money.” I’ve since accepted this as a very wise line.

In order to keep the businesses that are appearing around us, we have to spend our pennies. That means recognizing that supporting the local farmers is more important than buying produce from more familiar places. I don’t mean to get preachy BUT if we want to have places to study and eat orange chocolate while sipping on the exotic tea variety “Ancient Happiness” we have to give Drew (the owner of Mocha Hut) some love.

rejection letters feature by | michael kitzman Dear Abigail, We cannot process your student loan request. You were wrong to think that you could get ahead in the world, stop trying. Our decision was based mostly on how attractive you are, which is clearly not enough. We suggest you get a large paper sack to cover your whole body.

Furthermore, after consulting with your parents we have determined that you are a disappointment to everyone you ever met, especially your Grandmother, who never loved you. We are informing you of this as a courtesy, in the hopes that you will continue to store the few dollars earned from your pitiful, dead end, minimum wage job in our trustworthy hands.

Formally, Customer Service Representative #859-23-4788

volume 16 | issue 3

we were both sitting in a gondola. the man with the oar was not singing. because of that, we could clearly hear ourselves talking. it was hot and the water was a mirror. “did you just pay thirty dollars for your meal?” “it was more like forty euros.” “that is the same thing.” “but this money is prettier, so it is more worth mentioning.” when we got to our destination and when it came time to tip the gondolier we gave him a ten dollar bill. the tip was in our currency. he did not look amused, but we were not trying to amuse him. i didn’t know how to say ‘don’t be insulted, this is actually a good tip,’ so instead i smiled and nodded insistently. that was all I had in my pocket. when we turned back i saw the ten floating in the water. it took every ounce of self-control i had, we had, not to jump in and grab it.

Dear Stephen, Your Graduate School Application was lost in the mail, but that didn’t matter.

There’s no room in your stupid choice of a major. Why did you ever think it was good idea? Also, even if there were room in the program you selected what makes you think your pitiful ideas are any good? This institution questions your right to exist based on the poor grades, and even worse letters of recommendation.

However, if you would like to apply again in a couple of years when you’ve all but given up on your dream of becoming a successful person, we’ll gladly accept your application for processing. Fair warning though, everyone younger than you is smarter and better trained at what you want to do; also they are better looking and have WAY MORE sex.

In all honesty the thing that made us reject you was the fact that you cry yourself to sleep at night. We don’t associate with babies.

Signed, The Graduate School You Always Wanted To Go To

the monitor |10

Monitor Comix

Queen Astra Let the stars be your guide!

Wanna advertise with the monitor?

Contact us at our e-mail monitor.truman @gmail.com lowest ad rates in town!

Aries You will have to choose between a shirt that is far too small and a shirt that is far too large, if not today then the next day or the day after.

Taurus Brooding emotional Taurus, you will get back into that nu-metal band you liked in high school this week. Best of luck.

Gemini The twins sign, you will soon learn that that bump on the back of your neck is in fact a conjoined twin that only partially ever was. Cool, right?

Cancer You will undoubtedly regret what you just did.

Leo Just keep telling yourself that everyone goes through that stage. It might work out, I think.

Virgo Your future is very cloudy.

comic by |zak palmer comix by |ryan moore

Libra Your sign has something to do with weights. Maybe you should work out or something.

Scorpio The planets are aligning in your favor.

Physically threaten the next person you see to capitalize on your good luck.

Sagittarius Avoid all foods 7 to 13 letters long. I can’t say why, but trust me on this one.

Capricorn The symbol of your sign is a goat with a fish tail. That is hilarious.

Aquarius Google Zeitgeist and watch it.

Pisces It will be in your best interests to skip class all this week. Honestly, I have a good gut feeling here.

volume 16 | issue3

the monitor | 11

My Back Pages And yet, I am not answered or faded, Like those questions.

I am real, I know it somewhere deep inside, Deep inside my dreams where nothing Can really hurt or feel.

But life pricks, It pricks something fierce at times.

And I knew that like minded people before, And maybe after myself Would trudge along my well skipped path.

I am not so singular after all.

They cried, Will laugh, Died, Will live extensively, Lied to someone special, And will know what mortality means.

It means this, You die alone.

Visitors may pet the three-legged

I knew I wanted life. Life and Love, As much as my fearful shell could tolerate.

I give in to life now.

I give in. I turn off the lamp with a click, And the pillow snaps up my head in its chubby jaws, And I know, Morning will be here soon.

-Peter R. Johnson

Right-Aligned

landlubbing pleasures.

poerty is art poerty slams find a way to murder my soul.

Loving writing

Tame your tastebuds

Near or far

next to the birth place of the second best cheeseburger

There’s a Lot of fun in

God has a fully stocked marina

-anon.

for railroad enthusiasts,

Life to find

printed on recycled paper Cares drift away in the level III trauma center,

Still I wish For Missouri

where Killroy had the benefit of living under the stars

Thoughts On A Frozen Walden Pond

To be offering

and under the milk stoop Big rigs welcome.

An empty blue hemisphere capdome casts thirty-foot shadows of dwarves

Chances enough

(A found poem created from Kirksville brochures, written by Emily Murdock’s ENG 204 class)

In this giant’s hometown.

‘Cause Mister J.

Pygmies knock on Polyphemus’ rockcabin door

Is his own -ism

demanding to be gulped through epiglottis waterslide

Called by a

splashing headfirst on oxygenated platelet tubes

Title here shown

into small intestines.

Stabbing sickled-cells, anemic,

~Joey Puricelli

prick with acupuncture bites, emitting prejudice and obstinacy oozing out pores.

But I, I knew.

I knew I would want someone special Holding my weak soft hand While my eyes closed for the last time.

Maybe that’s a philosophy.

If so, it’s not a very good one.

monitor.truman@gmail.com

Discover Kirksville

I Really Don't Care About Truth, I Want Sleep Damn It! It was then I knew.

I knew.

All my questions were answered, Or they dissolved into nothingness.

In life, there was/is no truth.

I only know truth through my eyes, My flawed and teary eyes.

email your poems to:

Soaking up acidic knowledge-juices

For the parents of a drowned son We regret our vulgar tools: A long, two-pronged ice pick,

in the blinding tract.

Falling off precipice guts, biases broken down, passed out through coughing asshole

An aluminum canoe.

We regret our barbaric process:

covered in chunked viscera.

Shat into the empty blue bowldome

We only know to row and jab and row

Grasping landward

And jab into the lake’s black. Saving

gulping liquid and bluegill.

Is a thin chapter in the book of putting

Alveoli pop!

Out fire—that job, too, is rare. So a drowning

screeching bubbles and muffles into the up breeching mossy patina spouting excess out blowholes.

You know – laptops, fossil fuels, drugs, fashion – An eruption of junk and stuck and habit.

Stand tall, basking anew on frozen countertop surfaces.

Gazing up,

becomes our business for the day. But, over coffee, Afterwards, we were glad to remember that Even after hours of combing The bottom, we lugged him up Checked his pulse, blew two breaths, Pumped his chest once, for you.

Recommence.

-J. Milton

-Richard Smith