TUCK*d #oo1

IS MY TUCK OKAY?

WELCOME TO TUCK D

*

We are today’s voices of transgender youth. We are young, powerful, creative and smart. We are making changes.

We are TUCK*d. TUCK*d Magazine was created in the hopes of eliminating the stigma around transgender youth, and aims to give a voice to young trans people. It is the first publication of its kind, being the only magazine by trans youth, for trans youth.

TUCK*d Magazine is a collective of artworks and writings by transgender people ages 14 through 25. It aims to not only showcase creative individuals within the LGBT+ community, but also shine a light on people making a change. We are TUCK*d.

issue

PLEASE

enjoy

our innagural

contributors liA hOdsoN CaRa eAGan LiA ClaY aJ ShoStAk giNa piErSanTi MaDdie HeEney kRiS spADeS HudSoN bAteS MaUDe BaSCoMe dUOnG DaNA nGuYEn

editor-inchief

on the cover

hUntER ScHafer

to showcase someone amazing, we interviewed style-icon and ultimate cool girl hunter schafer. she’s one to watch. find out why on page 24.

a photo project by Lia Hodson

queer

q

r o q r

an interview with Lia Hodson

MEET THE ARTIST ARTIST MEET THE ARTIST

how do you identify?

Where can we see you I identify as a pansexual in 5 years? trans woman Hopefully making art, What are you into? whether it’s making Glitter, unicorns, and vagina films, taking photoart graphs or painting my what is something great that naked body, I hope I’m you have done because you creating! are trans? what are you working I have been able to be a on right now? role model which is amazCurrently I’m focusing. I was featured on the PBS’s Frontline documentary ing on film! And have “growing up trans” and I got been learning more of a lot of people telling me I in- the technical side of things. I want to comspired them to come out or bine my love of photo keep on living and that’s tography and my love incredible! It’s also a lot of of theater and make a pressure. I’m still only a 20 year old girl figuring her shit film that artfully narrates my story. out. what is your advice for trans youth and young artists?

As cheesy as it is, just be yourself don’t let people tell you who you are. Only you know who you are. It’s not easy, but trust your gut. You will make mistakes, but you will be better in the long run. The same can be said for art. Art imitates life and life imitates art and all that cliché shit.

@hodsolia @hodsolia

@hodsolia @hodsolia @hodsolia

photo by lia hodson written by cara eagan

the barbie inside me

Their artificial hair lay dead on the

When I got to the highest I thought I

floor. I lifted my Barbies – with their

could go, I would let my head drape back-

new haircuts – up to the window to

wards. The wind would brush through

see the first red leaf of fall. Their pink

my hair, sending tingles through my

fingernails rested on the ledge of my

spine. I would watch as I got closer and

brown windowsill. My barbies were

closer to the sky. The world was so dif-

my salvation. They were the item

ferent upside down. In that world, my

that showed me just how different I

barbie’s hair would grow back and my

was. They showed

brother

would

smile

I knew Jake more. In that world, my place in society: brothers friends would could hear him nowhere. My barhave never come over... bies were the reaThe doorbell rang saying, “They son no kids wanted and my heart began to to play any games won’t like you sing as I bolted down with me. To them, the stairs to be first to I was the game. I if you don’t act reach the door. “You was the hot lava can’t play with us if you like a man.” that no one could answer the door first!” me

my

rightful

go near. I was the peanut butter that

My brother shouted from his room. I

half of my class was allergic to. I was

walked to his doorway to see his hair

the poison. After school everyday, I

becoming stiff as he spread gel through

traveled out of the school, from 3rd

his quiff. He winked at himself in the

grade classroom, to claim my right-

mirror and rubbed his hands together, it

ful spot on the 3rd swing from the

was as if our father was staring back at

left. I would swing my legs back

him. I knew Jake could hear him saying,

and forth until I was con vinced that

“They won’t like you if you don’t act like

I could swing with enough force to

a man. Gel your hair. Man up Jake.”

flip all the way over. I never reached

He began to walk toward the door shak-

that point, but it didn’t matter.

ing his hands.

I could tell he was nervous. He took a deep breath and opened the door. The screams of Jake’s name filled the foyer with the smell of dirty feet as Conor, Peter and Anthony took off their shoes. My father smiled at me. Not the innocent kind of smile that told me I was safe, but the one that told me he had a plan.

No matter how hard I tried to resist it, his plan was sealed in my fate. Without any hesitation, the boys headed down to the basement. “Manly things,” Jake explained to my parents and I as if it was code for us to stay away. The gel in his hair carried his confidence as he lead his friends to the “manly” sports and games that awaited them downstairs.

I let them have some alone time, I figured an hour was enough. While I waited, I played house with my dolls upstairs. When the clock read 1:00, I headed back down. I fumbled down the steps holding tight to my barbie. I approached the door that led to our basement, trying not to be heard. If it’s opened too quickly, the door squeaks open, announcing your arrival. But if opened too slow, it makes a loud groan. After many years of practice spying on my sister and her boyfriend, and listening in on my brothers conversations, I swiftly opened the door and closed it behind me. I liked to sit and watch as my brother’s playdates unfolded.

My father reminded me it was nice to observe Jake’s friendships because that would be me someday. I knew that one day it wouldn’t be okay for me to have my dolls; that I would have to find the kids I could fit in with. So I watched and observed, knowing that soon enough, I would have to play like a man just like them.

As they roughed things up in the basement, wrestling and playing tackle football, Peter jumped on Anthony pummeling him to the ground. Peter’s knees began to transform into shades of red and his skin looked tender from the rug burn. After he got up, he laughed off the pain that rested on his knees. The stinging that was transcending through his body had to be ignored. He told everyone he didn’t care, that it was nothing. I held my knees close to my chest hoping I would never ever have to feel that pain.

“Jake! It’s your turn.” Anthony yelled. Reserved and afraid, my brother agreed and he walked to the middle of the basement.

My brother has never been the most masculine guy. His twig-like bones differentiate him from all of his friends, but as Connor screamed, Anthony grabbed my brother and hit him.

Nothing came out of my brother besides the shooting pain I saw un-

I could never do that. I could never be that.

derneath his blank expression.

Anthony’s clenched palms of manliness met my brother’s face and body. Peter and Connor watched, too afraid to say anything, and relieved that they weren’t Jake.

My brother began to let little whimpers of pain escape his mouth as he took another hit in the chest. My eyes stung, as I held back tears. I could never do that. I could never be that. I didn’t want to be a man, especially if it meant going through that.

Anthony began to back away and the room was silent.

I buried my head in my hands, repulsed by what I had just seen. I began to sob. I felt so frightened. No one moved, no one made a sound. The earth stood still until a cry shot out of Jake’s mouth. To this day, I can still replay that sound in my mind. It was the only thing more comforting than the silence that still remained in the room. My ears perked up as I heard steps. Crying into his hands, Jake ran to the bathroom. The sound of the lock sealing the door amplified throughout the house. I squeezed my barbie so tightly I feared she would snap in half. When I released my grip, the print of

That’s all I wanted. To tell him I loved him.

her face was imbedded on my palm.

My mom had all the boys go

upstairs and watch television. I sat outside the bathroom waiting for my brother to come out. I just wanted to see his face. I wanted to tell him it would be okay. I wanted to say anything to him. To tell him how much I loved him. That’s all I wanted. To tell him I loved him. I knocked on the door countless times.

@b

a

gs a e by “Jake?”

No Response.

“Hey Jake! Its me.”

No Response.

“I’m really sorry about what happened.”

Still nothing.

“Please come out I promise you they are gone.”

But besides the choppy sounds of crying, and snot flying into tissues, there was no communication between us.

15 minutes, nothing.

30 minutes, nothing.

50 minutes later, the rusted lock came undone, and Jake emerged. His shivering hands passed me the tissue box.

“They’re empty,” he muttered. Without hesitation I bolted upstairs, and grabbed two boxes of tissues – just in case his heart hurt that much – and handed them both to him.

I wanted him to know that I would do anything for him.

The brother I grew up with, the one who played baseball and hide-and-go-seek with me, was not the rough, frightened boy I saw now.

“You okay Jake?”

“Yeah,” he said, “I’m a man. You don’t understand now, but one day you will. When you’re a man these things barely hurt.”

When I’m on my swing, in my world where everything is upside down, I don’t have to buy new barbies when I cut their hair too short, it grows back. In that world, there is no commonly understood idea of what it means to be man. In that world my brother can cry when he’s hurt, and he could have been weak without feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt. In that world, Jake’s friends would have never come over. In that world Jake smiles.

My head begins to tingle as the wind sways my hair in different directions. When I bring my head back to normal, where the bright blue sky rests at the top of the world, with the dirt on the bottom, my brother’s smile tucks away behind his manhood.

Photographed by Lia Clay

yes hunty!

At only seventeen, Hunter Schafer is designing her own clothes, taking down North Carolina’s HB2 law, and quickly becomming an it-girl of the twenty-first century.

HUNTHUNTER ER SCHASCHAFER IS FER IS ONE TO ONE TO WACTH WACTH

hunter's agenda 1. abolish HB2 2. take new pics for instagram 3. get into college 4. finish sketching new dress design 5. go to the thrift store with bff Silas 6. fight for trans rights in North Carolina 7. photograph art pieces for portfolio

Right now, I’m trying to finish high school in one piece, and in relativity to that task: college apps! I really really want to go to fashion school. I also just finished making the first garment out of a series I’m doing to combat HB2 for my senior thesis. I’m hoping it’ll take the form of a campaign. I want the clothes to be worn by trans youth who are being affected by the law and to photograph them in the clothes.

what are you most looking forward to in the near future I get off for Winter break in two days, so that’s a given. But right after that, I’m going to National YoungArts week in Miami! I have a piece on display in their annual exhibition and am going to be able to participate in their design workshops for the week! I’m incredibly excited!

what do you think your role is as a trans artist in today's society I think it’s important that any trans person speaks up if their situation allows them to and they’re comfortable doing so! We’re at a point in which raising awareness for our community is more vital than ever with a new oncoming political climate and discriminatory laws, like HB2, coming into power. my voice as an artist is how I can best portray my thoughts and emotions to the world. I do some writing and speaking as an activist, but I feel most fluent when I make art. It’s what comes naturally to me and I want to be as authentic as I can when telling my story!

tell us a little bit about being a trans activist I feel super privileged to be in a position that allows me to be an activist. i get to use my voice in constructive ways for my community and for transgender people who may not have a voice. Recently, being a plaintiff for the ACLU and Lambda Legal in a lawsuit against my state of North Carolina for passing a discriminatory and transphobic law, has been my main focus. However, I’m also working on projects like my senior thesis (mentioned above) and hoping that will help the cause as well.

where can we see you in ten years Hopefully in New York or London or Paris, working as a creative director or freelance artist or designer or model or something! All I know is that I want to be creative, an activist, and in a bustling fashion capitol.

@hunterschafer

what are you working on right now

all photos by @liaclay interview by @ellasnyder

tuckedmag.com tuckedmag.com tuckedmag.com tuckedmag.com tuckedmag.com tuckedmag.com tuckedmag.com

news art fashion music more! more! more!

painting by aj shostak

Non-binary Artist Gina Piersanti Tells us About Floating If you look at gender in terms of a binary, I don't fit comfortably in either box. I’ve been raised on the ideals of boys and girls, and even people who are neither, but I don't fit neatly into any category.

I float back and forth somewhere in between girlhood and neutrality, but I reserve my right to have that change in the future.

I've only come to know this about myself recently. I hadn’t considered the possibility that I wasn't a girl until my late teens. The only other option I knew of was boy. Sophomore year, I was identifying as a lesbian and suddenly the concept of gender nonconformity and being non-binary came crashing into focus.

All of my life I’ve presented as some level of femme, which further confused me, because, as a person assigned female at birth, my comfort with this type of gender expression didn’t fit the common trans narrative of feeling “trapped in the wrong body.” I know now that there are infinite trans narratives but it’s often difficult for me to trust what I know to be true about myself, especially when I often feel like I don’t belong in any gender-based community. I’m not trans enough, I’m not woman enough. I’m floating. I remind myself that I can be non-binary and look the way I do. For me, transitioning doesn’t have to manifest itself physically, it doesn’t have to happen at all.

@ginaglenn is a New York based actor, visual artist, and writer. She is eighteen years old and identifies as non-binary.

c t h a w l i r s u t o

keep an eye on ‘em, they’re making moves.

these four new yorkers are the change makers you need to know

hari nef

hari nef is a transgender actress, model, and writer. you can read her work in dazed magazine, adult magazine, and vice. she was the first openly transgender model to sign with img, and has walked in new york fashion week and is in h&m’s fall 2016 campaign. nef is also featured in season two of amazon’s orignal series: transparent.

lula hyers pho to

of @ m

em lu rom yf ph

la’s queer yo ut hp r oj e

ct

in 2016, new york based photographer lula hyers (pictured on the left) set out to photograph the faces of new york’s queer youth. fans have flocked to her seemingly endless instagram account @lulahyers where the nineteen year old shares selfies, videos and new photo projects with the world.

all images sourced from Instagram

fo r#

to by miley cy rus pho

s in

e rid p ta

photo by gregory harris for interview magazine

tyler ford

only twenty six, tyler ford is an agender writer in new york city. with works published in the new york times and v magazine, ford aims to make trans representation more diverse.

photo by petra collins for jalouse magazine

india salvor menuez

@iiindiiia is a queer actor, artist, activist and model. she’s played muse to petra collins, and has been featured in countless films. india uses her instagram to spread awareness on current issues.

maddie on film

@madddieheeney photographed and interviewed by ella snyder at camp aranutiq

@madddieheeney

how do you identify? i identify as a transgender woman. what are you into? i am very interested in theatre and activism. i started acting when i was five and i haven’t stopped. I even go to a performing arts highschool. i love being able to take on a role and step out of my own self for a while. do you think being transgender has ever set you back in the entertainment industry? i think that a few years ago being trans was a much bigger setback than it is now, because over the past few years, we have gained a lot more representation. it is really frustrating, however, when directors can’t see past the fact that an actor is trans, when in fact, they’re a lot more than that. what makes you stand out in a crowd? i’d like to think i’m funny but i’m sure that’s not always the case. i think i’m a very open and honest person, i’m someone people can confide in without judgement. i’m really just myself, i try to be as genuine as possible. who are your role models? my role models are people who helped pave the way for others. they include laverne cox, betty friedan, and michelle obama. they have each gracefully campaigned for equality. where do you see yourself in 5 years? in five years, i’d like to see myself getting a college education in new york or washington d.c., i’d love to be pursuing either directing or activist work. what’s something great you’ve done because youre trans? i created a transgender youth group in my state and through it, i’ve met so many people who have helped shape me as a person. it’s so rewarding to be a part of the community.

authentic love : female friendships photo project by cara eagan

hallways

a poem by fifteen year old ftm, kris spades

dark walls encompass me. i hear echoes calling me what sounds like my birth name. dysphoria keeps me in a dark shadow as the walls keep caving in. but i know one day i will break free from these dismal hallways, and get to be the man i was meant to be.

@krisspades @prideforeveryone_

about about

all all

ella

boston artist ella snyder is the brains behind tuck*d magazine and is only seventeen.

photographed by maude bascome-duoung and hudson bates

who

are

you

and

what

do

you

do?

my name is ella snyder, i am an artist, i am seventeen years old and i identify as a transgender woman. i am also proud to say that i am the founding director of tuck*d magazine. what

made

you

start

tuck*d?

tuck*d actually started out as a school project! i attend an arts highschool and each senior has to do a project that involves their arts and benefits their community in some way. i had always wanted to make a magazine, and i was already passionate about advocating for better representation for the lgbt community, so i thought this would be a really cool platform for trans teens. what

is

in

store

for

the

magazine?

i have really enjoyed putting together issue one and i would love to continue to produce more issues in the future, but i will definitely need help. i guess we will just have to wait and see! you're

only

seventeen,

what's

next?

i am currently in the college application process! right now i am boston-based but who knows where i’ll end up next year. i want to study photographphy and multi-media art.

what advice do you have for trans youth? this sounds so corny, but it really does get better! once you are in control of your own body, you can find happiness in who you are. it takes time, and i’m not saying that it won’t be hard, but it is so worth it to be able to look into the mirror and be happy with yourself.

photograph for us write for us work with us !!!

be in issue #oo2

tuckedmag.com

s e r

is t !

re s

with trump’s reversal of the transgender bathroom mandate, resistance is at an all time high. as a community, it is time to come together and stand up for our rights. we have given you a script, and encourage you to use it in a phone call to your state senator. thank you for doing your part to protect trans kids!

is

t!

hi my name is [name] and i’m a constituent from [city, zip] i’m calling to express my opposition to President Trump’s reversal of Obama’s executive order allowing transgender students to use bathrooms based on their gender identities. The real threat to school safety is not transgender students in bathrooms, but discriminitory policies that stigmatize vulnerable chidren and teens. thank you for your hard work. photo by dana nguyen

1-800-EMERGENCYHOTLINES National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273-8255 National Youth Crisis Hotline (800) 442-4673 National Domestic Violence/Child Abuse/ Sexual Abuse (800) 799-7233 National Runaway Switchboard (800) 231-6946 Trevor Lifeline 866-488-7386 The GLBT National Help Center Hotline: 1-888-843-4564 Youth Talkline: 1-800-246-7743

100% of the proceeds earned from the sales of this issue will be donated to camp aranu’tiq, a summer camp for transgender and gender variant youth. Thank you for providing these kids and teens with life changing experiences.

www.camparanutiq.org

hank you please ome again thank catch catch ou please come you on you on gain thank you the flip the flip please come again side ! side ! hank you please ome again thank ou please come gain thank you