March 31st, 2014

a student newspaper of the university of tulsa

march 31, 2014 issue 21 ~ volume 99

Tulsa dances out of C-USA and into the American

Men’s basketball to leave C-USA as champions After a decade of membership and over 40 conference championships in Conference USA, TU will find a new home in the more athletic, richer and more academic American Athletic Conference.

Jesse Keipp

erhouses and essentially being a revived CUSA, the American is a vast improvement over the current C-USA by almost every statistical measure. AAC schools are smarter, more athletic, and, perhaps most importantly, richer.

O

In C-USA, Tulsa formed an unchallenged, academic triumvirate with Rice and Tulane as the only schools ranked nationally within the top 100 by U.S. News & World Report.

Outside of those three, every single C-USA school is a public institution, and none of them is their state’s flagship institution. The average C-USA institution’s student body boasts a 21–26 middle 50 percent range for the ACT, while five schools have ranges that dip below 20. In other words, at least 25 percent of students at five institutions scored below 20 on the ACT. In contrast, in the American, Tulsa will no longer be an academic big boy. While the

Staff Writer

n July 1, the University of Tulsa will vacate Conference USA after a nineyear tenure for the American Athletic Conference.

The AAC is now a dramatically different conference than it was just a few years ago when it was known as the Big East. Between July 2013 and TU’s arrival, the American will have lost Syracuse, Pitt, Rutgers and Louisville. Additionally, the AAC lost the Catholic 7, a group of seven non-football schools who formed a new conference, which took on the Big East name. Among the twelve members of AAC for 2014-15, nine were once members of C-USA. Despite being devoid of most of its pow-

Bigger schools, better academics

See Conference, p. 6

The TU men’s basketball team went on an exciting post-season run, winning the Conference USA tournament and advancing to the NCAA tournament for the first time in eleven years.

Will Bramlett Sports Editor

N

o one was talking about the Golden Hurricane making the NCAA Tournament when the Conference USA tournament began on March 11. All eyes were on the No. 4 seed Southern Miss Golden Eagles and the No. 1 seed Louisiana Tech Bulldogs.

The Golden Eagles, the Bulldogs, the Golden Hurricane and the Blue Raiders of Middle Tennessee State all finished conference play 13–3 to claim a share of the Conference USA regular season title. The tiebreakers gave TU the second seed in the C-USA tournament in El Paso, Texas.

The top nine teams received a first-round bye and the top four all also earned a second round bye. The No. 10 seed North Texas

Mean Green barely escaped the first round against the No. 15 seeded and last-place Rice Owls by a score of 63–62.

At the half of the second-round matchup of UNT and the No. 7-seed Tulane Green Wave, it seemed all but certain the Mean Green would advance as they held an 11-point lead, but Tulane would not go quietly. In the second half, the Green Wave outscored the Mean Green 45–29 to claim a 66–61 victory and the chance to play the Golden Hurricane.

Entering the half, the TV commentators were speculating about an upset brewing as TU only led 33–29, but the Golden Hurricane began playing the type of basketball which had contributed to the team’s eightgame winning streak entering the tournament. TU put up nearly twice as many points as the Green Wave in the second half.

Middle Tennessee also moved on to the semifinals. Tulsa entered the second half with a six-point lead, but the Blue Raiders would not go down without a fight. Tulsa

See Tournament, p. 3

31 March 2014

Sports

the Collegian : 2

Tulsa defeats LA Tech 69–60 to win C-USA championship

Photo courtesy Cristina Esquivel / The Prospector

Softball blows past foes Will Bramlett / Collegian

Tennis puts on a show Logan Miller / Collegian Photo courtesy Evan Henningsen / The Standard

Oscar Ho / Collegian

Soccer begins spring schedule Luke Lau / Collegian

Sports

the Collegian : 3

31 March 2014

eye on the hurricane

Jesse Keipp Staff Writer

The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill is nationally recognized for its academic excellence, but the “student”-athletes on its football team are apparently a major exception. Many of its athletes take independent study courses in the African-American Studies department.

However, these courses aren’t exactly rigorous. Because athletes must maintain a certain GPA to remain eligible, their classes serve as GPA boosters. Term papers from these courses are so pathetic that they’d make the average fifth grader blush.

If you think I may be exaggerating, one term paper for AFAM 41 consisted in its entirety of ten sentences, which read like a lazy children’s story.

The paper contained such gems and emotion-inciting lines as, “‘I’m going to arrest you,’ said the driver. ‘You may do that,’ Rosa Parks responded.”

Photo courtesy Business Insider

This 148-word paper by an actual college student earned an “A-.”

Thankfully, the author put forth his best effort, well some effort—ok, no effort at all—but he earned an A-. The athlete boosted his GPA and retained eligibility to rep the Tar Heels on game day.

In what may be an even greater atrocity than the mere existence of the course, coaches and academic advisors strongly encourage football players to take independent studies courses that are faker than a Bill Belichick smile.

As Ohio State backup quarterback Cardale Jones tweeted in 2012, “Why should we have to go to class if we came here to play FOOTBALL, we ain’t come to play SCHOOL, classes are POINTLESS.” I’m no guidance counselor, but I think Cardale may be better served by the academic environment at UNC.

Photo courtesy 247sports.com

Cardale Jones does not believe school is important.

I look forward to his upcoming reality TV show.

Amid the unionization of Northwestern football players and the strongest-ever push for paid compensation for student athletes, or at least football players, the case for unpaid athletes is weaker than ever. In an effort to maintain amateurism (and thus free entertainment via student-athletes), the NCAA has insisted that these collegiate football players are students first and athletes second.

Clearly, at UNC, this is not the case. The incident is even more alarming considering the academic prestige of UNC. If this is happening at UNC, then where else?

Staff Report Since our last issue, the TU softball team has gone undefeated, winning 14 straight games, and has begun conference play with a 9–0 record.

TU defeated Western Illinois twice in the Collins Family Softball complex then took down the Arkansas Razorbacks 6–1 at home.

Tulsa also faced Bradley in Tulsa on March 19 and traveled to Springfield, Mo. to face Missouri State on March 26. Tulsa crushed Bradley 8–2 and then absolutely destroyed Missouri St. 11–0.

The team then traveled to Huntington, W. Va. to open Conference USA play with a three-game series against the Marshall Thundering Herd. TU crushed the Herd 13–1 in five innings during the first game of a double header on March 15. TU won the second game 4–2 and then swept the series on March 16 with a 6–4 victory in six innings.

Next on the conference schedule was Charlotte and UTEP in Tulsa. TU played each team twice and scored a combined 51 points while allowing only a single run.

Tulsa beat Charlotte 7–0 and then 9–0 in five innings on March 22 and then 10–1 in five innings the next day.

Tulsa beat UTEP 6–0 on March 29, scoring all six runs in the first inning. TU

From Tournament, cover

prevailed thanks in part to clutch baskets and free throws by sophomore James Woodard, who had 19 points on the night, and senior Tim Peete, who scored 11 of his 13 points in the second half. TU advanced to the finals with a 76–69 win over Middle Tennessee.

Tulsa was once a powerhouse of midmajor schools. TU won the National Invitation Tournament twice, won ten regular season conference titles including five over 11 years in the Missouri Valley Conference and had 14 NCAA tournament appearances including eight between 1994 and 2003. A win in the Conference USA title game over LA Tech would send Tulsa back to the Big Dance for the first time since 2003.

Despite TU basketball’s history of success, the team had only earned its first Conference USA trophy a week earlier by winning a share of the regular season title and had never won a C-USA tournament. TU had one last chance to claim a C-USA tournament championship before leaving for the American Athletic Conference next season.

In TU’s third appearance in the conference championship game and first since 2009, when Memphis dominated Tulsa 64– 39, both teams came out strong and evenly matched. It was a one-possession game for the last 15:55 of the first half. The Bulldogs went to the locker room up 35–34.

LA Tech took a four-point lead, their largest of the morning, but TU took a 43–42 lead minutes later and never looked back. The Bulldogs kept fighting until the end, but TU would not relent to claim a 69–60 victory.

Over 1,500 fans flocked to the Reynolds Center to fill over two sections of seating Sunday afternoon to welcome back the team after their championship and to watch the Selection Show on the nearly 400-inch video board. The team was supposed to arrive around 3:30 p.m., but mechanical troubles

star pitcher Aimee Creger threw a one-hit, seven-inning game and tied the school record of 17 strikeouts, a record she held, in that game.

In the second game of the day, TU’s Jodi Edmiston hit a grand slam in the fifth inning to take a 6–0 lead which would be the final score of the game. TU finished the sweep Sunday with a 13–0 win in five innings. Ten runs came in the first inning, the team had 15 hits and Creger struckout 12 of 15 batters.

Tulsa’s next two home games are on April 1 vs. Wichita State and against Arkansas State on April 2. Both games are scheduled to start at 5 p.m.

Tulsa’s tennis teams continue to be two of the best NCAA D1 teams. The women’s team fell a few positions and is now ranked No. 21 in the nation after losing 4–3 to No. 18 Oklahoma on March 12 and being swept by No. 13 California 7–0.

The women’s team beat San Jose State 4–0 on March 16 and Wichita State in the Case Tennis Center Saturday 6–1.

TU travels to play William & Mary on April 5 and Louisville on April 6 in Louisville, Ky. Its next home match is against Memphis on April 12 at noon.

The men’s tennis team fell to No. 38 in the ITA rankings after dropping three matches in a row to top 25 with the team plane delayed the arrival until minutes before the 5 p.m. selection show.

Following a quick speech by head coach Danny Manning and an impromptu dance, the arena turned its attention to the selection show. The team and fans did not have to wait long to hear the announcement that Tulsa would be the No. 13 seed in the South Region and would have to face the No. 4 seed UCLA in San Diego Friday, March 21. The sea of people erupted and CBS was there to provide a “live look-in” for the Selection Show.

Tulsa played UCLA in the NCAA tournament 20 years ago. Before the game, legendary UCLA star Ed O’Bannon said, “To tell you the truth, I didn’t even know Tulsa was in Oklahoma.” Tulsa blew out the highly favorited Bruins 112–102 after leading 63–38 at the half. TU went on to beat Oklahoma State in a massive come-from-behind win before losing to Arkansas in the Sweet Sixteen.

The next time the two teams played was at the beginning to the 1996–97 season. The Bruins came in ranked fifth in the nation, but the Golden Hurricane was able to pull off the massive upset 77–76 in overtime. TU also played and defeated OSU in the next game.

Steve Alford is in his first year as the head coach of the Bruins. Most notably as a college player, he led the Indiana Hoosiers to an NCAA championship in 1987, the year before Danny Manning led Kansas to their NCAA championship.

UCLA came into the game as the heavy favorite once again. The Bruins have a long history of success in the NCAA tournament, having won 11 titles, three more than the second-best team, plus another vacated by the NCAA. The Bruins’ first championship came 50 years to the day of this most recent matchup.

The Bruins jumped up to an early 10–5

teams. It lost 4–0 to No. 16 California in Indian Wells, Calif. on March 16 then fell to No. 6 Baylor in Waco, Texas in another 4–0 loss. TU was swept again, this time by No. 11 Texas in Austin, Texas.

The team is looking to rebound against No. 31 USF on April 4 at 5 p.m. in the Case Tennis Center and then will face the No. 3 ranked Oklahoma on April 6 at 2 p.m. The Sooners were the top-ranked team in the nation until they lost 4–3 to Texas on March 28.

The Tulsa men’s and women’s soccer teams began play over the weekend. The men’s team started its spring schedule with a match against Missouri State Friday night in Tulsa. The teams played to a nil-nil draw.

The women’s soccer team played a double header Saturday in Tulsa. TU played the University of Central Oklahoma in the first game. UCO scored the first goal of the game with 14 minutes left in the half, but TU responded with two goals and won by a score of 2–1.

In the second game, the Golden Hurricane hosted the Oklahoma Sooners. The teams went into the half tied at zero. TU’s Rachel Thun scored the only goal of the game with an assist from Annie Sohmer.

lead to the cheer UCLA fans in Viejas Arena, who far outnumbered the Tulsa fans who made the long trip. Tulsa tied the game at 10 then fell behind, but was unable to take the lead. After falling behind by nine points, the Golden Hurricane went on an 11–2 run tipped off by a smashing dunk by Woodard which tied the game at 30 and forced Alford to take a timeout.

The Bruins reset and took a 35–30 lead into the break.

The second half was not as kind to Tulsa.

The Bruins kicked off the half with a 10–2 run and held on to a double-digit lead, but a series of big offensive and defensive plays brought the Golden Hurricane within five points with five minutes to play.

Alford was forced to take another timeout so his team could reset and it worked.

The Bruins went on a 17–4 run following the timeout. The Bruins won 76–59 and advanced to face the Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks who had upset VCU in overtime the game before the UCLA-Tulsa game.

UCLA’s size advantage over TU helped contribute to its victory. The Bruins only out-rebounded the Golden Hurricane 36– 33, but were able to use their size advantage to get many third and fourth chances under the bucket as well as draw fouls. UCLA was able to hold TU’s leading scorer, James Woodard, to only a single point in the second half.

Because of TU’s successful season, Danny Manning has been named a finalist for the 2014 Jim Phelan National Coach of the Year and the 2014 Ben Jobe Award. Fans should also expect a strong season next year as this year’s team had only two seniors and only Tim Peete consistently played large minutes. Most of the players on the team are sophomores who will be returning next season when the team begins play in the much better American Athletic Conference.

Baseball begins as hockey ends

Photo courtesy Matt Marton / USA TODAY

Because this week’s edition of Bleacher Creature fell short of quota, we decided to include this photo of former Northwestern quarterback Kain Colter, who is leading Northwestern football’s unionization attempt.

The National Labor Relations Board ruled in favor of the players’ union, which could be the first step to an entirely new collegiate sports landscape, especially for private institutions. Presumably, since Colter didn’t attend UNC, he actually had to pass legitimate classes, none of which were basket weaving.

Will Bramlett / Collegian

Kalen Petersen / Collegian

The Tulsa Drillers, Tulsa’s AA baseball team, will begin their 2014 season Thursday night against the Corpus Christi Hooks at ONEOK Field in downtown Tulsa.

First pitch is scheduled for 7:05 p.m., and tickets start at $5. The Drillers play again the Hooks Friday and Saturday at 7:05 p.m. then face the San Antonio Missions at ONEOK Field Sunday at 2:05 p.m., Monday at 12:05 p.m. and Tuesday at 7:05 p.m.

The Tulsa Oilers of the Central Hockey League finished their 2013-14 season Sunday night in the BOK Center with a 2–0 loss to the Denver Cutthroats. Despite the loss, the Oilers will move on to the CHL playoffs after finishing seventh in the league. The Oilers will face the Cutthroats in the first round of the playoffs. The Oilers has a 1–4–1 record against the second place Cuttroats this season. Game one of the best-of-seven series is Friday night in the BOK Center at 7:35 p.m., and game two is Saturday at 7:35 p.m. in the BOK Center. If a game six is required, it will be in the BOK Center Tues. April 15 at 7:05 p.m. Tickets start at $16.

NEWS

31 March 2014

the Collegian : 4

Plus/minus grading system Tulsa College of Law offers revoked before implementation undergraduate opportunities The proposed plus-minus grading system, approved last year, was rescinded partially due to criticism from the student body.

Fraser Kastner Staff Writer

The University of Tulsa Faculty Senate, an organization made up of faculty members who regulate tenure, promotion, appointment, and academic policy, has chosen to rescind the plus-minus grading system that would have begun next academic year.

The topic was reintroduced when members of the faculty became concerned that previously the issue had been decided without proper input from faculty members. There was also concern about the decision to let teachers selectively apply the plus-minus grading scale to their classes, a move that would have effectively split the university between the traditional system and the new system on a professor by professor basis.

The decision was influenced in part by the SA, which was contacted by the Faculty Senate in order to learn the students’ opinion. The Faculty Senate was presented with a survey which found that more than 80 percent of students supported a non-plus-minus grading system. The Faculty Senate voted 17–12 in favor of rescinding the system.

“I think our faculty members care about what students want, and that is why I believe that our dialogue with the Faculty Senate this time made a difference,” said Katie Lepine, Student Association president and a vocal critic of the plus-minus system.

March 9 15:30 Officers received information from Tulsa Police that 2 students and a former student were involved in a physical altercation at an offcampus residence. The former student had been attacked and stabbed by unknown suspects while trying to break up a fight between the 2 students. The former student was taken to a local hospital for treatment.

March 10 14:20 On 10 March 2014, Officers took a report from a student who gave money to 2 men posing as magazine salesmen at Fisher West Hall on 7 March 2014. The student realized it was a scam and wanted to prevent others from falling for it but did not wish to file a police report.

Many of those who commented on the survey feared that the plus-minus system would cause their GPAs to suffer. In addition to this, many disliked the fact that the system was optional for teachers and that the system did not feature a grade of “A+.”

“Our primary challenge was that the Faculty Senate was not informed of the student opinion last spring. I’m grateful...the Faculty Senate revisited the issue and diligently evaluated the student opinion,” said Lepine.

A case study published in Educational Research Quarterly by Andrew Bessette, an educational scholar at Berry College, criticizes non plus-minus grading because it may devalue an undergraduate degree by blurring the lines between high-achieving students and slackers.

Fearing professors could skew GPAs by choosing whether or not to use the plusminus system, and knowing a large majority of students were against the new system, SA chose to advocate for a non plus-minus system.

The current GPA system will stay in place.

The University of Tulsa’s College of Law will begin offering classes to undergraduates starting next fall. The news first broke in Steadman Upham’s fall 2013 letter to the university, and the details have gradually emerged since.

Until now, with few exceptions, only law students were eligible to enroll in law courses. Beginning next academic year, John Rogers Hall will offer several classes to undergraduates, which will count toward Block II requirements.

Currently, only one class is posted on the fall schedule, but more will likely be added.

Topics will include “international law, jurisprudence, intellectual property, global health law, and immigration,” said Dr. Janet Levit, Dean of the College of Law. Levit said that administrators, deans and professors have been talking about how John Rogers could better support the university.

Ultimately, a three-phase plan was developed. Phase one is the block courses. If these prove popular, said Levit, phase two will be implemented, “which is the development of an undergraduate minor or certificate in law and policy.”

If these are successful, phase three will be

to offer an undergraduate major. “A major would include a significant capstone in the form of a clinical opportunity,” said Levit.

No timeline has been attached to the plan, she added.

The block courses are not intended to help prospective law students earn a law degree early. For those looking to finish their degrees quickly, there is a “3+3” option available to students in the Collins College of Business. Students in the business school, “particularly those studying business law, can apply to law school during their junior year and receive undergraduate credit for their first-year law courses,” said Levit. “In this case, a student can receive a bachelor’s degree and a juris doctorate in six years rather than seven.”

A slightly different 3+3 program used to exist in conjunction with the Henry Kendall College of Arts and Sciences, she added.

Talks about reviving that program are ongoing.

The addition of undergraduate courses is part of a much larger project designed to improve the College of Law. It started in 2005 when the law school, university administrators and the board of trustees agreed on a plan “to improve the quality and ranking of the College of Law,” Levit said.

To achieve this goal officials deliberately reduced enrollment by cutting the size of incoming classes. The result was a lower student-to-teacher ratio, currently 11:1 and a rise in law school rankings, currently 72 nationally according to U.S. News and World Report.

March 11

March 25

March 27

23:00 Officers responded to a report of individuals carrying a motorcycle from the mailbox area to the dumpster pad at West Park Apartments.

Upon arrival, Officers identified the individuals as students and determined the alarm on the motorcycle was continually going off.

The students were moving the motorcycle away from their apartments. The owner of the motorcycle was informed and they did not report any damage.

10:50 A student reported their bicycle was stolen from a bicycle rack at University Square West Apartments. The investigation is pending.

1:15 An argument over trash in a Fisher West Hall room escalated into a non-aggravated assault when a student grabbed another student. The victim did not report any injury and no arrests were made. The victim was given another place to stay temporarily.

The proposed plus/minus grading system would have assigned the following values to each grade: A AB+ B BC+

4.00 3.67 3.33 3.00 2.67 2.33

C CD+ D DF

2.00 1.67 1.33 1.00 0.67 0.00

March 17 1:50 Officers responded to a report of fire at Lorton Village. Upon arrival, Officers discovered a transformer on fire. Officers were able extinguish the fire and PSO was able to make repairs to the transformer with minimal loss of power to the campus.

March 24 20:30 A student reported their backpack was stolen after leaving it unattended in Keplinger Hall.

Officers are reviewing video footage to identify the suspect. The investigation is pending.

Heartland Expo shows off games from Okla. students This year’s Heartland Gaming Expo brought students and professionals from across Oklahoma together to present the games they had made.

Abigail LaBounty Staff Writer

This weekend college and high school students from around Oklahoma gathered to showcase their creativity in different aspects of video game creation. Organized by computer science professor Roger Mailler with help from students and faculty from across TU’s colleges, the Heartland Gaming Expo is a competition encompassing all aspects of game development, including game production, concept art, scoring and game design.

There are three main categories of competition in the Heartland Gaming Expo. The main event is the gaming showcase, where students get to show off games that they have created in the last year. The “gallery” portion provides a showcase for concepts, art, animations and other projects that are not full-fledged games.

In the hackathon, students get 24 hours to create a game from scratch that fits a specific theme (this year’s theme was roller coasters). Students who enter any one of these categories are eligible to participate in the Zero Hour Gaming Competition, a contest where students have 15 minutes to gain the highest score in an undisclosed game.

The Heartland Gaming Expo marks the third year TU has hosted an event of this type. The expo began in 2012 as the TU Gaming Showcase. In future years, Mailler hopes to expand the expo to encompass more schools from other states in the region.

The expo offers a unique opportunity for students to show off projects they’ve

worked ]on to other students, professors and industry representatives. The judges for the expo consist of TU professors, outside officials and industry professionals from game companies around Tulsa.

New this year is a separate high school division within the showcase competition, a division that Mailler promoted with a series of classes on video game development at local public high schools. Also new are the vendor booths where local companies can show off the work they have been doing in the area of video games.

Students are excited about the unique opportunities the expo provides. Computer science major Christopher O’Neal said, “The expo is important because there’s a lot of people with a lot of talent out there, and this expo allows people to use that talent and get their games noticed.”

The expo has been extremely well received by students from both TU and other schools.

Cameron Fowler, a senior majoring in computer science from TU said that he’s really enjoyed getting to share his game with others because it’s something he’s worked hard on.

Johnathan Mercer from Panhandle State University agrees, adding that “there aren’t really any other events that allow me to show this off. Having this event adds a certain amount of legitimacy to something I really enjoy.”

Marty Rand from Norman North High School said, “It’s a really nice way to meet people of similar interests who are able to give the kind of feedback that random friends at school can’t.” “(The students’) love of gaming shines through,” said Mailler. “All I do is open the window so others can see it too.

As a project to improve Tulsa’s College of Law, TU will become one of the few universities to offer law classes to undergraduates.

Oscar Ho Staff Writer

20:30 The investigation identified the suspect as the brother (non-TU student) of a TU student.

The backpack and items were recovered and returned to the victim.

The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

Ode to Danny Manning

By Collegian Bard Matt Magerkurth

TU fans have dealt with the heartbreak of previous head coaches leaving for bigger programs. Matt Magerkurth, our bard in residence, compiled a list of the top ten love songs from TU fans to Danny Manning. Magerkurth also composed a new song for Manning.

1. Danny Boy Traditional Irish Song 2. Stay - Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs 3. Save the Last Dance for Me - The Drifters 4. Let’s Stay Together Al Green 5. I Will Follow Him Peggy March 6. Someone to Watch Over Me - Linda Ronstadt 7. Bridge Over Troubled

Water - Simon and Garfunkel 8. Will You Love Me Tomorrow? - Carole King 9. He’s So Fine - The Chiffons 10. Don’t Go Breaking My Heart - Elton John and Kiki Dee

Oh, Danny Boy, the balls, the balls are bouncing, From court to court, and down the grand prairie, The season’s gone, and all the fans are glowing, It’s you, it’s you can’t go ‘cause you we need.

You stay right here, where Goldie’s in the meadow, And when the school

is wearing gold and blue, And we’ll be here, in sunshine or in shadow Oh, Danny Boy, oh Danny Boy, we love you so!

But if ye leave, and all the students crying, Don’t be a Self, and don’t be a Tubby, Although our love and gratitude is flying, We’ll kneel and sob for good old Coach Manning.

And we hope you will stay for many a year, And all our Dances start higher than thirteen, For we have faith that with you we can succeed, For with you, just you, can we go on to win!

NEWS

the Collegian : 5

31 March 2014

Eye on the world: Magdalena Sudibjo Staff Writer Asia Phillipines On Thursday, the Philippine government signed a historic peace accord with the Moro Islamic Liberation Front, the country’s largest Muslim rebel group, which officially ended over four decades of violent conflict within the country.

Throughout the years of hostility, more than 120,000 people have died in Mindanao, the southern island where most of the country’s five million Muslims live.

While violence is still expected to continue for some time, the accord has paved the way for greater political autonomy for the Mindanao region.

“In signing this agreement, the two sides have looked not to the problems of the past, but to the promise of the future,” said Malaysia’s Prime Minister Najib Razak, in whose country the signing took place.

North Korea The United Nations have condemned North Korea’s launch of two ballistic missiles that occurred two weeks ago, just hours after U.S. President Barack Obama met with leaders from South Korea and Japan in the Netherlands to discuss the North’s nuclear program.

The launch violated UN resolutions prohibiting North Korea from launching

any ballistic missiles, and the UN Security Council said it was considering an “appropriate response.”

“This missile is capable of hitting not only most of Japan but also Russia and China,” said South Korea’s defense ministry spokesman Kim Min-seok in a statement.

North Korea has launched several shortrange missiles in recent weeks, coinciding with South Korea’s annual military exercises with the U.S. Europe Denmark To help deal with Denmark’s aging and shrinking population, Spies Rejser, a Danish travel company, launched its “Do it for Denmark!” campaign last Wednesday which offers three years of free baby supplies for Danes who can prove that they conceived a child during their vacation trip booked through the agency.

According to the company’s humorous commercial, which can be found on YouTube, Danes have 46 percent more sex on vacation, and 10 percent of the country’s population were conceived on holidays.

Germany

Top courtesy medicaldaily.com, Bottom courtesy adverblog.com

Spies Rejer launched their “Do it for Denmark” campaign to help stop the country’s falling birthrates, which are at a twenty-seven year low.

Last week customs officials in Leipzig, Germany discovered $55,000 worth of liquid cocaine hidden in 14 condoms in a package heading to the Vatican City. The package was addressed simply to ‘the Vatican Post Office’ before it was uncovered by the Germans. By Vatican law, any of the coun-

try’s 800 residents could have picked up the package simply by asking for it. While Vatican officials attempted to conduct a sting operation to find who the cocaine was intended for, the recipient never picked up his delivery.

Middle East Pakistan

Courtesy eideard.com

A package containing $55,000 dollars worth of liquid cocaine was intercepted on its way to the Vatican. The cocaine was packaged in fourteen condoms. The recipient, however, never picked up his package.

On Thursday a Pakistani court found Sawan Masih, a Christian sanitation worker, guilty of blasphemy and sentenced him to death.

In March 2013, rumors that Masih insulted the Prophet Muhammad led to riots that demolished major parts of Joseph Colony, a Christian neighborhood in the city of Lahore. Masih’s lawyer said they would appeal the case to the Lahore High Court.

While the death penalty for blaspheming was introduced in 1984, Pakistan has had no executions for breaking its blasphemy laws.

Turkey Last Thursday, Turkey’s government moved to ban access to YouTube after a recording of a private talk between top Turkish officials about military action in Syria was posted on the website.

The move occurred one day after a court suspended the government’s attempt to ban Twitter the prior week.

Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan called for stricter restrictions on YouTube, Twitter and Facebook after these sites aggravated corruption scandals surrounding him and his family.

“Shutting down social media platforms cannot be approved,” said President Abdullah Gul, who opposed the efforts to block social media.

“It’s actually highly irrational when you consider it is impossible to stop social media networks,” said Soli Ozel, a professor of international relations at Kadir Has University. “My son breached the ban in 15 seconds.”

Sports

31 March 2014 From Conference cover

American does not boast an academic equivalent to “Southern Ivy,” Rice, the conference as a whole holds plenty of prestige.

Four schools rank within the top 100 academically, while only one AAC school, Memphis, doesn’t rank in the top 200. Furthermore, the average ACT range in the American is 23–28, which is two points higher than C-USA’s.

The academic institutions within the American are typically much more well-established. Consequentially, the schools in the American post much larger financial endowments. The median endowment among current C-USA institutions is $137 million, while the AAC holds a median endowment of $357.6 million (for reference, TU’s endowment is a little over $800 million).

In essentially every academic measure, the American surpasses C-USA. Even without delving into the statistics, the schools within the AAC are much more recognizable than those in C-USA to the casual football fan. The current CUSA hosts several members which recently upgraded from lesserknown conferences or even the

pand its brand name beyond the Midwest, especially with Navy and the University of Connecticut (UConn) on the East Coast.

Competitive Edge Undoubtedly, the athletic competition in the American far surpasses that in Conference USA. Unlike those in C-USA, the American’s athletic programs aren’t new to the Football Bowl Subdivision (FBS), the top level of collegiate football.

American programs like Navy and Southern Methodist University (SMU) have rich, national championship pedigrees.

In football, while it was the Big East and during the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) era, the American held an automatic bid to a BCS bowl. Yet the American stands significantly behind the big five power conferences in athletic stature. Over the past few years, the AAC stole C-USA’s best football programs, while the C-USA replenished its ranks with schools from lesser conferences like the Sun Belt. But even after the departures of Pitt, Syracuse, Louisville and Rutgers, the American draws significantly better football than C-USA does.

All graphics by Sarah Power

Football Championship Subdivision (FCS), a lower tier of college football.

Institutions in the American are located much more diversely than those in the South-heavy C-USA. The AAC will allow Tulsa to ex-

In its first season in the American after leaving C-USA, the University of Central Florida demolished a very formidable Baylor in the 2014 Fiesta Bowl. Notably, the BCS and the AAC’s automatic bid no longer exist. Under the new

the Collegian : 6

playoff format, Tulsa’s chances at a playoff spot are slim, but still better than any team’s odds from C-USA. In men’s basketball, Memphis,

teams outside football and men’s basketball fared well against CUSA competition, with many of them serving as perennial conference powerhouses.

Cincinnati and UConn each qualified for the 2014 NCAA Tournament from the American. UConn won a national title as recently as 2011 and advanced to this year’s Final Four. Memphis owned CUSA when it resided in the conference during Tulsa’s up-and-down Doug Wojcik era. Rich in tradition, Cincinnati has asserted itself as a perennial contender, having earned an NCAA Tournament bid for four straight seasons.

Though Southern Methodist failed to make the NCAA Tournament this year, head coach Larry Brown has breathed life into the program, which was widely considered worthy of an invite to the Big Dance. Naturally, all of these foes will force Danny Manning and company to rise to the occasion.

Meanwhile, Conference USA has struggled to gain national relevance in men’s basketball, especially outside of Memphis. In the past six seasons, C-USA sent only one team, its automatic bid, to the NCAA Tournament three of those seasons. In the other three seasons, C-USA sent only two teams to March Madness. Clearly, the American has much more to offer on the hardwood than does CUSA. During its tenure in C-USA, Tulsa dominated across the board in athletics with over 40 conference championships in only nine years. The TU

With a more prestigious conference and better competition, TU will appeal to better athletes. Additionally, the American sports a lucrative TV deal with ESPN, so fans won’t always have to scramble for CBS Sports to watch TU football. And recruits love to be on national TV. The Tulsa football fanbase may fall short of the tenacity of fellow AAC fans. Tulsa is tied for the smallest stadium by seating ca-

pacity and had the second lowest attendance figures among any of the AAC teams for the 2012 season—a year in which TU captured a conference championship. If a championship caliber team won’t draw fans, Chapman Stadium may not be very feared by Tulsa’s newest foes.

The average C-USA program shells out $26 million per year on athletics, which may appear gargantuan, but is really rather paltry compared to the average of $43 million for AAC institutions. Of AAC schools, only Tulane and Memphis spend less than Tulsa’s $33 million annually. So TU may consider putting forth some extra money to keep up with the likes of Cincinnati, Central Florida and South Florida. Luckily, with the lucrative AAC revenues from TV contracts and NCAA Tournament success, Tulsa’s pockets will be lined with new money.

Show me the money Throughout the waves of conference realignment of the past decade or so, the primary motivation in each round of change has been money. While this has been decried by fans who feel as if their beloved rivalries are being sold off to the highest bidder, the quest for additional revenues isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

If Tulsa’s athletic programs had more money, perhaps TU could upgrade facilities such as the Mabee Gym. Tulsa football doesn’t have a real indoor practice facility, a luxury more and more FBS programs have been able to afford.

Such a facility could also be used for intramurals.

After men’s b a s k e t b a l l ’s run of success from 1993 to 2004, the program rapidly crashed.

The program couldn’t afford

to retain a successful coach for more than two or three seasons.

Possibly, the new money will allow Tulsa to lock in Danny Manning for years to come.

While much of the new money would be put back into athletics, it is hard to deny that the campus atlarge will see some spillover benefits from the new money.

So how exactly would Tulsa secure all of this new money? The three main sources would be bowl revenue, NCAA Tournament revenue and TV revenue.

In 2011, the AAC earned over five times as much money ($23.45 million) in bowl revenue as C-USA earned ($4.63 million). Granted, the AAC has fewer powerhouses now, so the conference will most likely earn slightly less bowl revenue than in 2011. But regardless, the AAC bowl income will be a major upgrade for TU. For appearing in the NCAA Tournament, a program earns $1.5 million to be shared among its conference’s members. Each additional win until the Final Four earns an extra $1.5 million. A Final Four appearance rakes in roughly $10 million for a team’s conference. Those revenues are spread among conference members over a six year period.

Because Tulsa is departing CUSA, the money earned from Tulsa’s NCAA Tourney appearance will remain with the conference.

Tulsa’s first appearance in a de-

cade earned C-USA $1.5 million, not a dime of which will ever pass through the hands of Athletic Director Dr. Derrick Gregg.

As a member of the American, Tulsa will therefore benefit from the multiple AAC teams making the NCAA Tourney every year over the last six years. As a new member in 2014-2015, Tulsa will earn a discounted share from conference revenues for only one year, after which Tulsa will reap full benefits.

In the American, Tulsa can expect roughly $4.5 million per year from NCAA Tournament revenue, at least for the near future. That number could increase or decrease depending on the future success of AAC teams. But given this year’s success, the future looks bright.

In contrast, as a member of the C-USA, Tulsa has been accustomed to NCAA Tournament payouts of roughly $362,500. Thus, TU will have an over 1000 percent increase in Tourney revenue in the new conference.

Additionally, the American enjoys a much more profitable television contract than does CUSA. Too many of Tulsa’s football games have been relegated to unknown networks such as CBS Sports Network, a channel so obscure that Indiana Jones would struggle to find it.

The AAC penned a $126 million TV contract with ESPN through 2020 for football and basketball.

In its inaugural AAC year, Tulsa will see $1.8 to $2 million, a figure which will increase once TU passes its transition period. Comparatively, as recently as 2012, the C-USA TV deal warranted only $1.17 million per school per year.

Ultimately, the Tulsa athletic department will bring in much more money as a member of the AAC. That money will, in turn, help improve TU sports, which will help improve the recognition of the University as a whole. The move to the American wasn’t just a great deal and an attractive choice for the athletic department, but also an excellent decision for the future of the University of Tulsa.

NEWS

the Collegian : 7

31 march 2014

17th Annual Research Colloquium celebrates student findings Giselle Willis Staff Writer

This week begins the 17th Annual Student Research Colloquium, including over two hundred participants. At the suggestion of a graduate student in 1998, the University of Tulsa began hosting the Colloquium to create an environment in which students could practice public speaking, learn about

research in other fields and receive feedback and ratings from faculty members as well as other students.

Participants are judged by an in-field expert checking for appropriate methodology and understanding and an out-of-field faculty member and student, both scoring based on the presentation itself and how understandable it was for an outsider. In addition, each session is hosted by a student

session chair who holds presenters to conference-style decorum.

Nona Charleston, Associate Director of the Tulsa Undergraduate Research Challenge (TURC), explained how TURC participants are strongly encouraged to present their work in the Colloquium, and that recently the Colloquium has added a session featuring service projects. Cash prizes are given to first, second and third place, as

Recent Outbreaks of Dengue Virus Serotypes in Pakistan ­ Ijaz Ali, Akhtar Ali, et al — —Thursday April 3, 3:00-3:20PM, Great Hall B In 2011, over 300 people in Pakistan died because of the Dengue virus, explained Dr. Ijaz Ali. A Fulbright scholar from Pakistan, Ali came to TU to work with Dr. Akhtar Ali, a specialist in plant genomes. They sequenced the virus’ genome to see which of four serotypes (mutations) of the virus were most prevalent in last year’s Dengue outbreak. Ali said that mapping the virus’ genome makes it easier to see from where the virus was transmitted, and that the more knowledge of the virus’ genetics is shared online, the easier it is to produce a vaccine or drug to eradicate it.

He added that the Dengue virus alone requires a primary and secondary infection to even see symptoms in those affected. Ali noted that this virus is transmitted through a certain species of mosquito that actually feeds during the day, but that with just one infected mosquito bite people do not experience any symptoms. It’s with

a secondary infection that people experience hemorrhaging and Dengue shock syndrome, leading to plummeting platelet levels and eventual death.

Ali lamented the lack of any model for this form of virus, calling it “tricky” precisely because of its several serotypes. Dengue virus preys on “antibody dependent enhancement,” meaning that the primary infection is asymptomatic because the body is able to battle that serotype with tailored antibodies, but that when a secondary infection comes along, always carrying a different serotype because of how quickly the virus mutates, the victim’s body sends out the same, now ineffective, antibodies, unable to detect the subtle differences between serotypes. Ali warned of recent outbreaks in the United States, but both researchers hope that their data will help in the development of a prevention system.

Water Distribution Enhancement in Contani, Bolivia

—Ryan DeCook, Weston Kightlinger, Michael Tompkins, and Daniel Chang —Wednesday April 2, 9:35-9:55AM, Alcove AND Friday April 4, 4:10-4:30PM, Alcove The city of Cotani in Bolivia has an inadequate water distribution system. Through Engineers Without Borders (EWB) and Engineers In Action (EIA) Ryan DeCook and his team were solicited to analyze the system and improve it. Members of this team of engineers have completed multiple projects in Cotani in the past, and have visited several times, but this project came with its own set of obstacles.

To properly assess the water system, Ryan explained, the team

has to send a “spy cam” that will be able to travel inside PCP pipes, but the camera, three feet by three feet, is too large to ship to La Paz, Bolivia. So the team had to try to make the camera contraption as small as possible without sacrificing any necessary components, and tried shipping again on Friday.

Once the camera is finally able to travel through the water distribution system, Ryan and team will be able to determine whether the system is lacking in capacity or

The above graph shows a simulation of the water distribution system designed by Ryan and his team.

Graphic courtesy Ryan DeCook

A TU engineer plays hacky sack with children in Cotani, Bolivia.

the Colloquium’s opening Keynote Address. His talk is entitled “Storm Kings: The Untold History of America’s first Tornado Chasers,” and will take place Monday, March 31, at 7 p.m. in ACAC Great Hall B. Research Institute presentations will occur Monday in Great Hall B at 3:30 p.m. Below are some profiles of research that will be presented.

More research profiles on p. 11.

Tate Brady in the 21st Century

—Casey Johnson —Wednesday April 2, 1:151:35PM, Great Hall B About two years ago, Lee Roy Chapman published an article in This Land decrying Tulsa city founder Tate Brady’s participation in Ku Klux Klan activities, as well as the lack of coverage on his racist inclinations. Casey Johnson agreed that there’s no need to keep Tulsa’s history secret, and delved into many resources concerning Brady’s life.

She said the most interesting information she found revolved around the trial of an Oklahoma governor. Said governor had declared martial law in Okla. because of KKK activities, and the trial represented a Klan-backed attempt to impeach him. Johnson said Brady actually testified in defense of the governor, and had recently left the Klan because they had tried to make him vote for a different governor. She will offer various analyses of Brady’s decision to defend the governor, as well as more information about his life, in her presentation. delivery. They will use a computer simulation to construct a distribution system of their own, modifying either the storage tank for greater capacity, or the system’s use of gravity for better delivery.

Then, they can help build the new system themselves, improving water access in Cotani.

Research Study on Naegleria Fowleri from Salt Creek at Lake Keystone —Camay On —Tuesday April 1, 10:4011:00AM, Alcove

Graphic courtesy Ryan DeCook

well as to those receiving honorable mention.

Furthermore, the University of Oklahoma-Tulsa campus is collaborating with TU by including TU research posters in its Annual Research Day exhibit, and by having some OU students present during the TU Colloquium, according to Colloquium Director Hope Geiger.

This year, Lee Sandlin, author of “Wicked River,” will give

Naegleria Fowleri, otherwise known as “the brain-eating amoeba,” travels through the nose to the brain, where is destroys tissue and causes swelling, clarified Camay On. To conduct this research, On and team members collected samples from Salt Creek, Taylor Ferry at Fort Gibson Lake, Grand Lake and a few water beds around Tulsa.

These areas are open to the public, meaning that amoeba found in the water could potentially be amoeba found inside those who swam in the water.

N. Fowleri DNA was in fact found in Salt Creek samples.

However, On added that one cannot get infected from drinking contaminated water because infection only occurs through the nose.

Thus, a majority of those infected in the United States have been children under fifteen, because, as On deduced, younger children may not know to plug their noses when swimming. The amoeba’s attack results in “primary amoebic meningoencephalitis,” and early symptoms, occurring five days after exposure, include fever, nausea and vomiting.

Those infected may then experience a stiff neck, confusion, seizures and even hallucinations; the infection has a high fatality rate.

Fortunately, the number of confirmed cases in the United States does not seem to have increased, although there have been 31 cases between 2003 and 2012, according to On.

Photo courtesy Casey Johnson

Tulsa founder, KKK member and apparently stuffed alligator enthusiast Tate Brady is pictured above with his son, who looks awfully scared to be sitting on an alligator.

Casey Johnson’s research hopes to shed light on the nuances of Tate Brady’s life.

Chapman’s article in This Land created a public outcry that resulted in a “renaming” of the Brady District. It is now named after Mathew Brady, a photographer known for documenting the American Civil War. Although Johnson did not attend city meetings about the decision, she can understand

both sides of the debate. Through her research, she wanted to give a “more complex view” of Brady, noting that it seems anyone involved in the politics of that era also had to be involved in the KKK because of how influential the group was.

Symposium Calendar Tuesday, April 1

Biological Sciences and Exercise Science

8:25–11:55 a.m.

Great Hall B­

Detection and Identification, Using Molecular Methods, of Free-Living Pathogenic Amoeba from Recreational Waters from Northeast Oklahoma

10–11:50 a.m.

Alcove

Electrical Engineering, Sociology and Economics

10:15–12:35 Chouteau p.m.

1–3 p.m.

Chouteau

1–2:50 p.m.

Great Hall B

The Eukaryotic Microbe­ —Applied and Basic Research

3–5 p.m.

Alcove

Research Abroad

8:15–10:35 a.m.

Alcove

9:30–11 a.m.

Great Hall B

Mechanical Engineering I

9:30–11:50 a.m.

Chouteau

General Humanities

1:15–4:45 p.m.

Psychology

1–4:20 p.m.

Chouteau

5–6:50 p.m.

Chouteau

Foodborne Pathogens Contemporary Issues in Educational Policy and Practices

Wednesday, April 2

Petroleum Engineering and Geosciences

Rainforest Ecology Factors that Effect Academic Performance in K–12 Schools

1–4:40 p.m.

Thursday, April 3

Great Hall B

Alcove

8:30–10:20 a.m.

10–12 a.m.

Great Hall B

Physics and Applied Mathematics Factors that Affect Overall Performance in Schools

10–11:30 a.m.

Alcove

Biological Sciences II

1:00–5:40 p.m.

Mechanical Engineering II

1–4:40 p.m.

Chouteau

Managing the Work-Nonwork Interfact to Maintain Employee Health and Well-Being

2–4:40 p.m.

Alcove

Chemistry

8:00–10:30 a.m.

Chouteau

9:20–11:40 a.m.

Alcove

9:30–12 p.m.

Great Hall B

12–5:15 p.m.

Chemical Engineering

1–3:20 p.m.

Great Hall B

Citizenship and Service in a Changing World

3–5:10 p.m.

Alcove

Biochemistry

Friday, April 4

Computer Science and Electrical Engineering Surface and Deep Level Diversity, Creativity, and Attitudes in Organizations Anthropology Research Matters

Saturday, April 5 Oklahoma NASA Energy Symposium

10–3:10 p.m.

Chouteau

Great Hall B

Chouteau

Chouteau

31 march 2014

the Collegian : 8

Welcome to The Barricade, a section attempting to provide informed, thoughtful analysis of both large and small-scale political issues: all the information you need to take down a tyrannical government.

Argentina’s peso inflates despite government intervention

country into crisis after crisis over the last hundred years.

In 1914, Argentina was one of the ten wealthiest countries in the world, rich in agricultural resources and an expanding labor force, as a flood of southern Europeans continued to immigrate to the country.

However, since the end of World Nikki War II, Argentina has experienced Hager six military coups, hyperinflation Foreign Correspondent and a state-backed genocide in the 1980s. Most recently, after an economic crisis in 2001, the country defaulted on its debt, resulting in the freezing of bank assets. At its “Cambio, cambio, cambio!” The worst point, as much as 60 percent Spanish word for change echoes of the country’s population was down Florida Street in Buenos living below the poverty line.

Aires. Walking through the busy Despite experiencing an ecoshopping district, it is impossible nomic downturn during the global to go more than a few minutes financial crisis in 2009, the Argenwithout being hassled by one of tine economy has remained reladozens of cambistas. tively stable for the past decade They are not handing out cou- or so after its default. Today, howpons, or selling cheap souvenirs as ever, it is beginning to teeter. One is common elsewhere in the city— indication is the 4 percent inflathey are soliciting people to ille- tion during the month of February gally buy or sell American dollars. alone. Even more telling, is the exArgentina has taken a lot of plosion of the “Dolar Blue” (Spanflack recently for its mismanaged ish spelling, not a typo), or black monetary and fiscal policies and market dollar, the reason behind so bulky state economic interventions. Last month “The Tragedy of Argentina, A Century of Decline” was the feature story in The Economist. A few weeks after its release the New York Times ran a similar article titled “Don´t Cry many people exchanging money in For Me Argentina.” the alleys and behind a facade of Both articles scolded the Argen- store fronts on Florida Street. tine government for continuing to Currently, the official governpursue policies and programs that ment exchange rate is around 7.5 have done nothing but drag the or 8 pesos for every United States

Poor fiscal policy has led to the rapid devaluing of the peso and a burgeoning underground currency exchange market.

Graphic courtesy of Inka Kola News

The graph above plots the black market exchange rate for Argentinian peso per American dollar from January 2013 to April 2013, one of the more volatile periods for the underground rate.

dollar, the rate used by “casas de cambio” or regulated currency exchanges. The black market rate, or Blue Dolar, however, is somewhere between 10 and 11 pesos per every dollar, around 20 percent higher than the official rate.

In short, it’s an economic nightmare.

“Hyperinflation and economic troubles have reduced Argentines’ faith in the peso” The economics behind the problem are messy and complicated.

In short, past hyperinflation and economic troubles have reduced Argentines’ faith in the peso. Once inflation and economic woe start

up again, like they have recently, people fear their money will devalue and want to trade it for a more stable currency like the dollar. This causes the value of the peso to fall relative to the dollar, as individuals supply pesos and demand dollars.

For various reasons (once again, messy economics) the Argentine government does not like their currency quickly devaluing. To try to slow the devaluation, they have set an official rate that is significantly different than the market rate. This difference is what causes people to trade their currency in the underground market, as the can get better rates than going through an official institution like a bank.

While the gap between the

Dolar Blue (the underground rate) and the real rate has shrunk significantly since January (the gap between the official rate and the Dolar Blue was as large as 6 pesos per dollar and 10 pesos per dollar respectively), inflation is only continuing to rise.

In their articles, both the Economist and New York Times call for more responsible government spending and stronger institutions to help mend Argentina’s broken economy. But that is easier said than done.

With a history of clientelism and personal-politics, getting Argentina off the Blue Dolar and onto a path of growth will be an incredibly difficult task.

Clinton campaigns for better literacy education Hillary Clinton’s visit was to encourage education reform, not to drum up support for a presidential campaign.

Abigail LaBounty Staff Writer

Photo courtesy of Public Radio Tulsa

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (on the right) made an appearance at Tulsa Educare as part of the “Talking is Teaching” campaign with the George Kaiser Foundation to promote the importance of childhood literacy.

Barricade of the Week: Istanbul, Turkey

Photo courtesy of The Japan Times

Protests that began in Istanbul, Turkey, last June over the planned destruction of Gezi Park have escalated again after the death of Berkin Elvan on March 11, a young teenage boy who was left in a coma after being hit in the head by a teargas canister while getting bread. Elvan was in a coma for 269 days before he died.

On Monday, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton came to Tulsa and joined philanthropist George Kaiser to launch a new “Talking is Teaching” campaign.

A joint effort between Tulsa Educare, CAP Tulsa, the George Kaiser Family Foundation and Clinton’s own Too Small to Fail, the campaign aims to improve early childhood education by increasing the vocabulary caregivers teach to children.

The campaign is working to address the word gap in children from different socioeconomic backgrounds.

According to a study done by Betty Hart and Todd R. Risley, there is a strong positive correlation between the number of words children learn by the age of three and later cognitive development.

Unfortunately, children from families on welfare are exposed to half as many words as children from working-class families and only a third as many as children from professional families.

The goal of Talking is Teaching is to boost these numbers by encouraging care providers to spend more time verbally interacting

with children, by reading to them, singing songs and describing their environment. By the age of four, children typically attain about 500 words through such interaction.

The goal of the campaign is to boost that number to 1,100.

Despite Clinton’s previous work with early childhood education, many are asking if Clinton’s stop in Tulsa was part of a political agenda to boost a run for the presidency in 2016, but there is no clear indication that Clinton visited Tulsa except as a representative of her organization Too Small To Fail.

Clinton’s comments Monday focused solely on the education initiative and never strayed into political matters.

While media were at the event to cover her speech and take pictures of Clinton interacting with Tulsa children, Clinton did not answer questions from the press.

Representatives of the Kaiser Foundation refused to comment on any political influences the event could have, preferring to focus on education and the importance of the initiative.

While not everyone in Tulsa would vote for Hillary Clinton, it is not hard to get behind a campaign to increase our children’s chances of success and improve early cognitive development.

Talking is Teaching is an exciting new initiative to increase learning among all children and close the gap between different socioeconomic backgrounds.

If such an initiative is successful in Tulsa, it could be the beginning of a nationwide push to improve academic achievement and professional success.

Commentary

the Collegian : 9

31 March 2014

Making light of OCD hurts those who suffer from it Appropriation of mental illnesses is disingenuous and hurts those who suffer from them.

Tara Grigson

Staff Writer

I have had symptoms of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) since I was eight.

OCD is a mental illness in which a person suffers from obsessions—repetitive, unwanted, and frequently distressing ideas or images—as well as compulsions, actions taken to relieve the anxiety caused by the obsessions.

Frequently, the actions have absolutely nothing to do with the obsession and are almost always irrational. OCD affects roughly 2 percent of the population, or about one in fifty people.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the standard reference book for psychiatric disorders, indicates that OCD symptoms are “time-consuming or cause clinically significant distress.” In my experience, OCD is both of these things.

While mental illnesses are completely legitimate and debilitating, they elicit little sympathy or respect.

It is widely considered inappropriate to belittle someone with a physical ailment; why do so many find it acceptable to make fun of diagnosed mental illnesses?

In the media, mental illness is either played for laughs or for terror. OCD is seen as comedy gold, or in many cases, as a fashionable attribute.

OCD is often misused in modern American vernacular. It seems to be most widely misused by teenage and 20-something girls, typically in relation to perfectionism. The problem with this is that OCD is not perfectionism, it is chronic, debilitating anxiety.

Usually, when people throw around the term “OCD,” it is in relation to someone wanting everything to be the same height, the same color, or to complete some other pattern. This is not OCD. OCD involves constant doubt and an overwhelming fear that if the sufferer does not act on the compulsions something horrible will happen to the people he or she loves. Sufferers know that this is not actually true, but they have to do it just in case.

Most people who have OCD are aware that their actions are unreasonable. For example, people who repeatedly check that doors are locked are aware that they already checked—they just need to be absolutely sure. They fear that otherwise someone will break in and cause major damage, and it will be the obsessive-compulsive person’s fault.

When an OCD sufferer turns a light switch on and off 100 times, it is because he or she is concerned not about the switch but about something much bigger.

People with OCD act compulsively because they are irrationally certain that if they fail to perform certain actions, something awful will happen to people they care about. If they do not flip the light switch 100 times, a bomb will explode and kill people, or there will be a shooting or an outbreak of a deadly virus. And it will be their fault.

OCD is debilitating and so, so frustrating. Other people do not know that there is something wrong with your brain.

They judge you, laugh at you and roll their eyes at you, and it is horrible, because everything you do is to prevent something bad from happening, potentially to them. And you cannot stop. No matter how angry they get, no matter how much they laugh, you cannot stop.

Every time I hear someone misappropriate “OCD” I feel it physically. I feel frustration and fear. I feel that no one takes seriously this awful, uncontrollable illness. I feel isolated, small and so, so alone.

People with OCD frequently suffer from symptoms of other anxiety disorders as well as depression, since they feel responsible for eliminating randomness from the universe.

Unfortunately, the universe is unpredictable, and it is not controlled by one person’s compulsive actions, so no matter how hard he or she tries, bad things still happen.

It is great that so many people are aware of OCD; however, it is extremely unfortunate that so few understand the symptoms and their magnitude.

People with OCD live with near-constant anxiety, and maybe if other people could take that anxiety more seriously, some of it might be diminished.

Words are extremely powerful. If we can start to give mental health terms the weight they deserve, and thinking before we speak, as opposed to throwing them around lightly, maybe we can start to become a society that is more accepting of mental illness.

justify your major: music We’ve all been in that conversation. An engineering major complains that liberal arts majors are not putting in “real work,” or a liberal arts major assumes that a business or engineering student must be in it for the money. By no means do these views represent all or even the majority of the University of Tulsa’s student body, but they are present and painfully visible. It is for this reason that I am introducing the Justify Your Major column, a chance to show the student body why you love your major. If you want to justify your major, e-mail me at patrick-creedon@utulsa.edu.

Matthew Magerkurth

Graphic by Sarah Power

Staff Writer

American Conference better for TU Leaving Conference USA for the American Athletic Conference gives TU opportunities for growth.

Will Bramlett

Sports Editor

The Tulsa Golden Hurricane will be leaving Conference USA for the American Athletic Conference on July 1, 2014. The move to the American from C-USA is a fantastic move for TU athletics for three big reasons: better name recognition, better competition and more money for athletics.

The American has a TV deal with ESPN which ensures many more football and men’s basketball games will be televised on the ESPN family of networks. There are already four football games scheduled to be on an ESPN network, three of which will be ESPN’s Friday night game. This means that we will not be competing with Saturday college games for viewers. Tulsa will have to compete with two or three games at most.

This name recognition will also hopefully help make more high school students aware of Tulsa and convince them to apply to our school. As seen in the Collegian

article Athletics can improve academics, by bringing in more applicants, the University can be more academically selective of students improving the academic reputation of the school.

Another benefit of better name recognition is the chance of hearing from a friend’s parent or a potential employer, “Where is Tulsa?”

Better competition should force TU to improve its athletics as well.

We have been one of the best, if not the best, schools since joining Conference USA in 2005. In football, the American sent the UCF Knights to the Fiesta Bowl in which the Knights defeated the Baylor Bears, a team that had been dominating teams all season, 52–42.

Conference USA’s best team, the Rice Owls, went to the Liberty Bowl and took an early 7–0 lead of a Mississippi State team which only made the postseason by defeating Ole Miss in overtime the last week of the season. The Owls lost 44–7.

In basketball, the American sent four teams to the NCAA tournament and should have sent five, but the SMU Mustangs were snubbed by the NCAA selection committee. Tulsa was the only C-USA school to make the tournament and lost in the first round. Two American teams made the Sweet Sixteen and one has advanced to the Final Four. By the RPI ranking system, the American is the eighth best

basketball conference in the country while C-USA ranks 13th.

The biggest boost to TU athletics will be the new influx in money. According to the Tulsa World, TU should look to bring in nearly $2 million as a new member from the American’s TV deal next year.

It will increase after the first and second season in the conference.

In C-USA, Tulsa would be making just near $1 million per year.

Additionally, the NCAA pays conferences for teams which make the NCAA tournament. Because the American consistently sends more teams to the NCAA tournament which advance farther than C-USA schools, the American receives more money from the NCAA tournament to distribute to its schools than the C-USA. According to the Tulsa World, over the last six years on average, each school in the American would have received over $1.75 million from the NCAA tournament while Tulsa received only $240,000 per year from 2009 to 2013 from the NCAA tournament.

To put that in perspective, TU’s current athletic budget is under $33 million dollars. All of this extra money can be spent on nicer equipment, better facilities and more intense recruiting. This extra money combined with the name recognition and better competition will all work towards making TU look like a better home for future student-athletes to come and lead the Golden Hurricane to victory.

When I tell people my major is music composition, their reaction is usually tinged with skepticism.

Few people know what goes into studying composition, and fewer know what can come out.

The word “composer” usually triggers images of Mozart and Beethoven, divine geniuses who perhaps took themselves a little too seriously, or the romantic notion of a moody, forlorn brilliance that requires the utmost solitude to scratch a note on the page.

While these models aren’t wholly outdated, they are very impractical in today’s musical society.

Composers are simply people, just like the performers and audience, and the air of collaboration in today’s musical society makes solitude a drag.

Performers want to play their friends’ pieces, and audiences want to relate to the music. There is no justification for a hermit composer.

Why do I study composition, and what do I want to do with it?

I study it for passion. It is what I want to do with my life.

There is an enormous quantity of things one can do with a composition major, many of which are not immediately obvious.

To some extent, the nomenclature of the degree is not so relevant as long as the skill set is present, but those wanting that skill set had better study composition in some way.

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Basically, there are a slew of jobs that will amount to a career in this field, like working on films.

In a film score cast, there is usually a head composer who writes the themes and a reduction of the whole score.

Then an orchestrator comes in and rewrites the scores for that big grand orchestra sound.

Orchestrators are called on for commercial music to write arrangements for pop and rock songs.

Every composer that tends more towards the classical side of things is going to have a chunk of their life that is composed of master’s and doctoral programs and freelancing in the hopes of eventually becoming a professor somewhere.

The 20s of any composer’s life are bound to be an exciting and terrifying time, and as I stare down the barrel of them, I am constantly nervous.

But the best I can do right now is learn everything I can and come out the other side of this degree ready to face my masters’, because right now, as a freshman, I don’t know what exactly I want to do.

What I listed above is only a tiny chunk of what composers do in their lives, and hopefully I will not be constrained to doing one thing.

The skepticism that often meets me when I confess my major is entirely misguided, because more than likely, that person knows little about me and my study.

To throw my major aside is to accept that the existing canon of music is sufficient, that nothing new can ever move anyone in unforeseen ways.

While some things are truly timeless, many aspects of music are always growing and changing, and I am to be that change.

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31 March 2014

the Collegian : 10

“Diablo III: Reaper of Souls” expensive addition to main game

By Anna Bennett

Ways to Pad Your Résumé The end of the year is sneaking up on us like a lioness on a dazed rabbit.

Believe it or not, there is a world outside the safety of TU’s matching sandstone walls, and you may have to seek employment in the great beyond this summer.

Or for the rest of your life.

You may be horribly underprepared for “the real world,” but here are a few ways to quickly make your resume a bit more impressive.

1. “Has lots of experience.”

You don’t have to mention that it’s mostly sexual.

2. “Studied Abroad.” Go get shwasted in your foreign friends’ apartments.

Basically the same experience.

3. “Communication Skills.”

I mean, you’re reading this, after all.

do something stupid just because you did it? Call yourself a “Natural Leader!”

Remember that time you and the rest of your hall built a pillow fort? Just put down “Works Well With Others!”

6. “References.” Give out the contact info for a few friends who are good at lying, who have distinguished-sounding names and who are skilled at putting on voices (preferably European accents).

7. “Unpaid Internship.”

Yes, you were seven, and yes, it was just your big sister forcing you to do her chores, but still.

8. “Community Service.”

Again, you don’t have to mention that these services were primarily sexual.

4. “Is a special little snowflake whose toots smell like roses.” Your mom said it, so it must be true.

9. “Speaks foreign language.” Your roommate is from southern Georgia and you understand her just fine.

5. “Special Skills.” Did you only spend, like, $20 on beauty products, groceries and shoes last week at Target? Say you’re “Good With Money!”

Have you ever convinced a freshman to

10. “Honors and Awards.”

Put them down. All of them.

Including “Most Musically Improved Rookie” from high school marching band and “Best at Dicking Around” from the improv club.

By Helen Patterson With Springfest this week, campus will be packed full of exciting events, free food and, of course, free t-shirts.

For those looking to get away from the on-campus excitement, there are a number of local events sure to please.

free lecture will be held at the Great Hall in ACAC.

This Week:

2. Alternative rockers Kings of Leon will play the BOK Center April 8. Doors open at 6:30 p.m., and the show starts at 7:30 p.m. Tickets range from $29.50–59.50.

1. March 31 through April 4 is Springfest at the University of Tulsa! Get your free shirts, food and fun!

2. Country music legend Merle Haggard will play The Joint at the Hard Rock Casino on April 3.

Doors open at 7 p.m. and the show starts at 8 p.m.

Tickets range from $45–55.

3. Austin-based indie rock band Uncle Lucius will play Cain’s Ballroom on April 5.

Doors open at 7:30 p.m., and the show starts at 8:30 p.m. Tickets are $12 in advance or $14 at the door.

4. For those who would rather travel back to the 80s, Australian-based Air Supply will play the Event Center at River Spirit April 7 at 7 p.m. Tickets are $25–45.

5. Krista Tippett, the Peabody Award-winning host of “On Being,” will be the inaugural speaker for the Harold E. Hill Lecture on April 7 at 7 p.m. This

Blizzard Entertainment’s “Diablo III: Reaper of Souls” stands as a decent improvement upon the main game, adding a number of new features. Yet, with a base price of $40 it may not be worth it.

Elliot Bauman Staff Writer

After nearly two years, Blizzard Entertainment’s “Diablo III” finally received its first expansion on March 25 in the form of “Diablo III: Reaper of Souls.” The addon seeks to remedy the numerous issues that plagued the standard version of the game, in addition to offering a decent amount of new content for players to enjoy.

Perhaps the most expensive single expansion in the history of the gaming industry, “Reaper of Souls” costs $40 for the standard edition, $60 for digital deluxe and a ridiculous $80 for the limited collector’s edition.

Many gamers may be wondering if the new add-on is worth its asking price, and, as in many cases, the answer to such a question is not so straightforward.

The most significant new feature in “Reaper of Souls” is the addition of a fifth act. Act V picks up following the events of Act IV, where the conflict between angels, demons and mortals seemingly came to a conclusion when the souls of the major demon lords were trapped within a magic stone.

Things take a turn for the worse when Malthael, an angel revealed to have gone missing during the events of the main game, returns as a fallen angel of death. After capturing the stone containing the souls of the demon lords, he begins to wreak havoc on the mortal world.

Expectedly, Act V features the player characters attempting to destroy Malthael’s dark forces and put an end to the new threat.

While not the strongest portion of the expansion, the new act is dark, lengthy and significantly more challenging than the original four. On maximum difficulty, the final showdown against Malthael is likely to push many hardcore

3. For those in need of employment, head over to the Tulsa Collegiate Job Fair at the Reynolds Center April 9 from 1–4 p.m. There is no need to sign up in advance—simply show up! Be sure to dress in business attire, and don’t forget to bring a résumé!

4. Fort-Worth rockers Toadies will play Cain’s Ballroom on April 9 as part of the Rubberneck 20th Anniversary Tour. Doors open at 7 p.m., the show starts at 8 p.m. Tickets range from $19–34. Come celebrate 20 years of Toadies!

5. TU’s own theater department will perform the musical comedy “Altar Boyz,” running Thursday April 10–12 at 8 p.m. and Sunday April 13 at 2 p.m.

Remember: Thursday is free student night!

Diablo fans to the top of their game.

“Reaper of Souls” also introduces a new character class, the Crusader. The Crusader complements the original five fairly well, as it stands as a nice middle ground between the melee-focused Barbarian and Monk classes and the ranged specialist Demon Hunter with its mixture of medium and close range offensive options.

The Crusader is also a more defensive option, featuring a number of skills that augment shield use.

Unfortunately, players that prefer magic-based classes will still be stuck with the Wizard and Witch Doctor.

While Act V and the Crusader are certainly welcome, the standout new feature in “Reaper of Souls” is an alternative way of playing that Blizzard Entertainment calls “Adventure Mode.”

Unlocked once players have completed Act V, “Adventure Mode” is Blizzard’s answer to one of the major issues fans had with the main game. In “Diablo III,” once players completed an Act and moved onto the next one, there was no way to return to any previous Act for further exploration or loot-searching. This led to an incredibly linear experience that many fans felt detracted heavily from the game.

Fortunately, “Adventure Mode” changes all of that. Upon the first completion of Act V, gamers can opt to enable “Adventure Mode.”

This option opens up the entire game world; players gain the ability to return to any region in any Act for further exploration.

There is an abundance of new quests and missions available, and, once certain quests have been completed, players get access to “Nephalem Rifts.”

These “Nephalem Rifts” are completely randomized dungeons—with emphasis on the word “randomized.” Virtually every component of the dungeon, from architecture, setting and lighting to difficulty, enemy types and end boss, is randomly generated by the game such that no two dungeons will ever be the same.

After the boss of the “Rift” has been defeated, players receive numerous items, with a good chance that some of those items will be rare. Gamers can gain access to more “Rifts” by completing quests in “Adventure Mode.” This way of playing is a huge improvement over the base game and the definite strong point of the expansion.

At its core, “Reaper of Souls” stands as a good improvement upon the base “Diablo III” game.

It adds a number of features that help refine the Diablo experience.

However, requiring $40 or more for features that really should have been in the base game, such as “Adventure Mode,” seems a bit extreme, which returns to the original question, is the expansion worth it?

For fans who enjoyed the base game, the answer is definite “yes,” as the new Act, Crusader class and features are a breath of fresh air.

For everyone else, this expansion is a pass.

“Diablo III: Reaper of Souls” is currently only available for PC and earns a 7.5/10.

“Supermodel” anything but super

Upcoming: 1. Panic! at the Disco will rock the Reynolds Center on April 8 at 8 p.m.! Bring your TU ID to get in for free!

Photo courtesy Blizzard Entertainment

Aside from the addition of new enemies and loot, “Reaper of Souls” also introduces a new character class, the Crusader. Fortunately, for those looking to play as a mix between the melee-focused Monk or Barbarian and the range specialist Demon Hunter, the Crusader is just that.

With uninspiring lyrics and little emotion, Foster the People’s “Supermodel” is a disappointing follow-up to the band’s debut album, “Torches.”

Nicholas Foster Staff Writer

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: an unknown indie-pop band releases a hit that is just catchy enough to get played on mainstream radio (but just different enough to perk up the ears of alternative listeners), fills out an album of goodbut-not-great songs to back it up, then—once the dust has finally settled—finds itself at a peculiar “what’s next?” crossroads.

Unfortunately, it is never easy to recapture that first bit of magic— there’s a reason that “sophomore slump” is a common stereotype within the music industry.

Foster the People is the latest victim of inflated expectations after their crossover hit “Pumped Up Kicks,” which enjoyed a nearly obscene monopoly over the airwaves in early 2011.

The song itself is actually quite good, a fitting marquee for their solid debut album “Torches,” and the band seemed poised to build upon its success.

However, their follow through album—the recently released “Supermodel”—does not answer as

many questions as it raises.

The most obvious and important question is: what is Foster the People trying to accomplish?

From top to bottom, “Supermodel” internally struggles with its own objective.

Is it a sleek pop record or a texturally complex indie album? Is it regretful or sunny? How seriously does it take itself? There are not very good answers to these questions, probably because Foster the People is not quite sure themselves.

Certainly, there is pressure to reproduce the widespread accessibility found on “Torches,” and while it might be too cliché to say that Foster the People have “sold out,” it would not be inaccurate to say that they are painfully selfaware of their marketability.

It is an unenviable task to try to walk the line between commercially viable and musically stimulating, and more often than not, “Supermodel” sounds uncommitted to either ideal, and the resulting in-between is somewhat bland.

The strangest part of this dichotomy is that the record sounds like Foster the People knows they are not cutting it. This is a band that does not know who they are or who they are playing for.

The first song, entitled “Are You What You Want To Be?” is as bleak and self-conscious as it sounds. The next song, “Ask Yourself,” revolves around the chorus, “Is this the life you’ve been waiting for?/ well ask yourself.” Neither of these are models of resolve or firmness, and it sets an uneasy tone for the rest of the album.

Even beyond the band’s insecurities, a lot of “Supermodel” is unashamedly bad. The hooks are often nauseating, which is surprising, considering that was one of the strengths of “Torches.”

The lyrics are uninspired at best, generally made up of trite clichés with underdeveloped premises. “The blood of the forgotten/ wasn’t spilled without a purpose” is about as galling and generic as traditional fight-the-man sentiments get, and lines like “Just like an animal/ I protect my pride” underscore that frontman Mark Foster might be running out of meaningful things to say.

But what really makes the whole episode so frustrating is that there are good things, often really good things, about the album that get drowned out in the sense of meandering that pervades the album. The textural work is actually pretty admirable—“Supermodel” is scattered with little sonic gems that do not typically appear on pop records.

Not to mention that the trio can all play their instruments with technical proficiency. They are not virtuosic by any means, but they do play well-written and interesting parts. This further adds to the exasperating nature of these songs, which sound like they could be enjoyable but consistently fall short.

In short, there are countless problems with “Supermodel.”

The songs are too weak, the ideas too vague and the character lacks depth and emotion. In trying to connect with both the audiences of radio-friendly glam and indie pop, they sadly reach neither.

31 MARCH 2014

the Collegian : 11 Atheists on a College Campus: Constructing Identity through Border Work

THE RICHARDS GROUP TRG JOB #: SBU-14-0024

—Deanna Christianson —Tuesday, April 1 11:35 - 11:55 a.m. Chouteau With help from the University of Tulsa’s chapter of the Secular Student Alliance, Deanna Christianson interviewed five students on their identification with atheism.

A recent wave of New Atheism has helped organize what Christianson cites as an often persecuted and marginalized group into a cohesive identity by distinguishing itself from those who identify as religious. Four of the five students she spoke to were involved with the Secular Student Alliance, and several cited authors explicitly associated with the New Atheist movement as having influenced their decisions to become atheists. Although the Alliance itself is not specifically atheist, considering itself simply a society of “free thinkers,” Christianson believes it

A year of preparation.

A lifetime of success.

has a high concentration of atheists because of its separation from religion and emphasis on critical thinking.

She also noted an “interesting parallel” between atheist and religious people both seeking to concretize group identifications by pronouncing the other side’s ideas as “dangerous.” This form of “border work”— attempting to set up clear distinctions between sides—is important to the organization of both religious and atheist movements. Christianson noted that these parallel concerns can be exemplified by a Christian lament that atheists will eradicate the teaching of Creationism in schools, while atheists claim Christian conservatives aren’t providing adequate sex education in schools.

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Tulsa, collected by an air sampler on Oliphant’s roof. The technique is called “growing degree days” and involves looking at the overall change in degrees to predict animal and plant development rates, said Reeder.

For her study, she looked at the total sum of increasing temperature from Jan. 1 to March 1.

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SMU is an Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity Institution.

Are you ready for the warm weather after this long, miserable winter? This cute little girl certainly is!

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A year ago, Raye Reeder worked to see if she could find a correlation between average winter temperatures and the beginning of pollen season, saying she was interested in finding ways to predict as much about pollen season (and therefore allergy season) as possible. This year, she has applied a different technique to about 25 years of data from

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31 March 2014

the

The State-Run Media

State-Run media “A” for Authoritarian.

University of Tulsa adopts myriad of new grading scales Many departments are inventing their own grading scales to give meaning, clarity and specificity to students’ work.

Fraser Kastner Made the grade

In light of the university’s decision to abandon its plus-minus grading policy, various departments have decided to take this opportunity to experiment with their own grading scales.

While some of them may seem rather bizarre, they have been designed by experts to convey the students’ success or failure in the most effective way. The following is an incomplete list of the newly designed grading systems.

Department of Dance: All grades will be conveyed in the form of a short interpretive dance.

A grade of “A” will be something along the lines of a graceful pirouette, while an “F” will resemble a seizure. A “C” will be five minutes of awkward twerking.

Department of Nursing: The students’ final project will involve caring for a robotic newborn.

A passing grade will cause the baby to coo and giggle. Failure will result in the infant urinating profusely before erupting into flames.

Department of Sociology: An “A” will be a lengthy description of a perfect, egalitarian society de-

void of inequality or injustice. An “F” will be a drawing of Hitler.

Department of Electrical Engineering: Students will be presented with equations which must be solved in order to find one’s percentage grade. Should the student earn an “F,” the solution to the said equation will be directions to the Art building.

Department of Physics: All grades are approximated as a “C.” Department of Art: Grades will be given as colors along the spectrum, with Red being the highest and Violet being the lowest.

Department of Creative Writing: All work will be graded on a scale of Aquaman to Batman.

Department of Philosophy: Since subjective experience is the only means by which we come into contact with reality, objective assignments of value are abandoned.

Department of Psychology: All students are given the same Rorschach test, and their grade is their interpretation of the inkblot.

Department of English: Good grades will be given in the form of Shakespearean sonnets composed i n praise of the students’ work. Failing grades will be communicated with obscene,

TU students react to new grading system The newly instated department-specific grading systems have been met with mixed reactions from the student body.

Anna Bennett

89% on Rotten Tomatoes Although it’s a huge adjustment for everyone, many students are already embracing the new grading scales.

“Finally! The grading system more accurately reflects reality!”

Philosophy Senior Jen Patrick exclaimed, referring to her reception of a “subjective experience” rather than an A or a B on her most recent paper on Beauvoir. “I mean, what are grades when you really think about it? Can we really assign meaning to someone’s work with an arbitrary letter? Can we even impute meaning onto the work of others?”

Junior Composition major Tanya Pierce has had a similarly positive reaction, claiming that her department now has a system that is meaningful. Says Pierce, “I was so thrilled to see that I got a Mozart on my mid-term! That’s way, way more significant than an A!” Pierce says that the grade did much more than mark her progress; “it reminded me why I’m doing all this in the first place.”

Others find elements of the new systems to be unnecessarily disheartening. Freshman Theatre major Lily French was shocked

and hurt when she received a final grade of Starbucks Apron in her Acting I class. Says French, “I knew I didn’t do so hot in the class; but at least getting an F would encourage me to do better, or even just switch majors. The Starbucks Apron makes me feel like I should just give up.”

Over in the ENS college, Henry Butts, a sophomore Electrical Engineer, was also hurt more by his new grade than he would have been by a traditional scale. “It’s just demoralizing,” reported Butts, referring to the equation that engineers must now solve to discover their final grades. “I worked really, really hard on that equation, hoping that I at least passed Diff Eq, but at the end of it all, X equals Phillips Hall.”

Still others have criticized the new systems on grounds of clarity. Sophomore Art major Marvin Kemp expressed his skepticism at the various shades of meaning his professors are now adding to the grading system. “I would have been perfectly content to receive a Yellow on my mid-term portfolio,” Kemp admitted, “but I got a Chartreuse instead, which isn’t even an official ROY G. BIV color! What does it mean?!” Kemp is currently looking into the system for contesting grades, which in the Art department, seems to involve a lot of white paint.

The Pokemon-based system adopted by the Biology department has been universally lauded.

poorly spelled limericks.

Department of Computer Science: Students will receive either a 0 or a 1 on all tests and assignments.

Department of Theatre: Performances will receive various garments based on quality, the scale being from Greek Tragedy Mask down to Starbucks Apron.

Department of Film Studies: Grades will be awarded in the form of reviews outlining the students’ high and low points, ultimately ending in a rating based upon number of thumbs up.

Department of Athletics: Taking after the example of UNC, all

athletes will be graded on a scale from A to B+.

Department of Economics: Students will be graded on a scale from Keynesian to Trickle-Down.

Department of Music: Students will be rated on a scale of Mozart to Fred Durst.

Department of History: Passing grades will be assigned as famous world leaders on a scale of influence and length of rule (Tutankhamun up to Queen Victoria). A failing grade will take the form of being forced to repeat the 4-year degree over and over again.

College of Business: Instead of letter grades, students will receive Monopoly money based on the quality of each assignment: excellent work will receive $500 of the colorful currency, whereas

terrible work will only merit $20.

Student can cash their fake money in for real money when they graduate, unlike those pesky Presidential Scholars.

Department of Biology: In perhaps the biggest reworking of the grading system, the Bio department has switched to an elaborate Pokemon-based system.

“Pokemon Standard” approved The bio department’s new grading system gains fans on-campus and at renowned Pokemon graduate schools.

Anna Bennett Patrick Creedon Pokemon Masters

In perhaps the biggest overhaul of the A–F grading, Professor Charlie Zard has successfully pushed a bill through faculty senate that creates an elaborate system for grading Biology students based on Pokemon.

The system harnesses the inherent complexity of the over 700 existing Pokemon to communicate information that a system composed of the letters A to F with some pluses or minuses simply could not capture.

When a student starts in the Biology department at the University of Tulsa, they are assigned one of three select “starter” Pokemon. As they take go through classes and take exams, their grades are converted into “experience points” that they can apply to their Pokemon which allows it to gain levels and evolve.

Poor performances on assignments subtract experience points with the possible consequence of devolving a student’s Pokemon.

When the creature reaches its final form, students are allowed to

trade up for another and continue the training process. The Pokemon they have at the time of graduation determines their standing as a student, with the rankings of the Pokemon constantly changing as their meta-utility changes vis-a-vis the intensely complicated rhetoric of the Pokemon masters at the University of Viridian.

While the new Pokemon grading system has raised some eyebrows at the College Board and the Princeton Review, it has gained the applause of the University of Viridian’s administration.

Dr. Samuel Oak, a professor of behavioral science at U of Viridian, is thrilled by TU’s new grading system, claiming that the change will make it “much easier for TU students to gain admission to our graduate programs.”

The university has very stringent requirements for entrance to the graduate school, and previously, those undergrad students with traditional GPAs were required to go through a rigorous calculation whereupon their grades were converted to the Pokemon Standard.

Now, TU’s biology students are saved the inconvenience and processing cost.

“I never thought a Ph.D from Viridian would be accessible,” confided Senior Ivy Sawyer to the State-Run Media, “but with the new grading system, I’m really excited to apply.” She went on to

mention several times how she wants to be the greatest Pokemon trainer ever.

Senior Ray Chu has been researching Pokemon genetics for three semesters, and is currently putting his findings together into a senior thesis. Although Chu applied to Viridian’s graduate program in Pokemon Breeding last semester, his application has been in limbo with all the other nonPokemon Standard applicants. But several days ago, he received a call from Viridian’s admissions office informing him that his application with his revamped grades would be expedited.

“This means I’m one step closer to studying in Dr. Elm’s lab and getting my doctorate in Pokemon Genetics!” exclaimed Chu, running his hands through his spiky brown hair and squinting his eyes in excitement. “I just hope there are some cute TAs at U of V…” Although the system is limited to the Biology department as of now, TU’s Professor Zard hopes it will eventually gain acceptance school-wide. “Sure, maybe the fancy boards of this and that don’t approve of the new system. But I think in time its superior shades of subtlety—not to mention its popularity with the students—will ultimately win the hearts AND heads of the administration. Besides, I hear Saffron State has a fantastic English graduate program.”

Graphic by Anna Bennett

Dr. Aurea Juniper, professor of Pokemon Origins, on the left, and Dr. Augsustine Sycamore, professor of Mega Evolution and Change, on the right, are among the faculty at the University of Viridian who have been the most outspoken proponents of TU’s new grading system. Dr. Juniper said in a recent statement: “We are so excited to welcome students from TU to our graduate programs.

A world of dreams and adventures with Pokemon awaits!”