15 September 2014

a student newspaper of the university of tulsa

september 15, 2014 issue 2 ~ volume 100

Tu SEARCHES FOR JUSTICE...

JUSTICE VISITS TU!

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PAGE 6 STUDENTS TUSSLE WITH DISCRIMINATION AND VIOLENCE, PAGE 7

Also in this issue: Reporter seeks truth, comes up short, p. 7 TU introduces mandatory sexual misconduct course, p. 7 Circle Cinema celebrates decade of independent film, p. 4 ... and some funny stuff.

AND...

WOMEN’S SOCCER BOUNCES BACK WITH A WIN, PAGE 2

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swish...

Photos in order from top to bottom: Sam Beckmann, Sara Douglas and Sam Beckmann. Compiled and edited by Sarah Power and Kyle Walker.

the Collegian : 2

15 September 2014

Skyhawks caught up in women’s soccer cyclone

#13 Tana Dake flies past University of Tennessee Martin goalkeeper to set up the game-winning goal for the Golden Hurricane on Friday night.

Joseph Edmunds Student Writer

On Friday night, the Golden Hurricane Women’s Soccer Team slipped past the University of Tennessee at Martin Skyhawks, 1–0.

After a tight first half, Lauren King provided Tulsa with

a breakthrough 6 minutes into the second half, scoring on a pass from Tana Dake. Dake made it past the goalie on the outside, and passed into the middle for King to hit home.

The game was close throughout, with Tulsa finishing the game with a 7–6 advantage in shots on goal. King’s goal proved to be all that the Golden Hurricane needed to pull

Above photo courtesy Samuel Beckmann

off the win, as Courtney Mckeaon notched 4 saves in nets.

This was the first game for Tulsa since their first road game and first loss of the season, 1–0 , at the hands of Tennessee.

With the win on Friday, the Golden Hurricane got back on the winning track, improving to 6–1 on the season with a matchup against No. 15 Oklahoma on Sunday.

Men’s soccer ties No. 2 Creighton University 1-1, remains undefeated against top 5 teams

Photo courtesy Greg Diskin Above photos courtesy Samuel Beckmann

Clockwise from the top: #7 Quinn Starker, surrounded by Blue Jays, leaps above the crowd to head the cross ball; #4, forward Akeil Barett, sprints up the field followed in hot pursuit by a Creighton defender; #21, defender Byron Knowles-Ramirez, moves the ball upfield in front of a rowdy Golden Hurricane fan section.

15 September 2014

the Collegian : 3

The decline of our national pastime: why does nobody watch baseball anymore?

Why-does-no-one-watch-baseballwith-me Wade Crawford takes on America’s pastime—and slowest sport.

It’s September, and that means it’s the home stretch of the baseball season. The playoff race is the best it has been in years with four out of the six divisions and all four Wild Card spots separated by only five games.

Yet it seems that nobody is watching.

It’s true, baseball ratings are dropping by the year. Ratings are measured by Nielsen, where television habits of random households are tracked in an attempt to measure what percentage of American households are watching a television program at any given time, which then becomes the “rating.”

According to Baseball Almanac, World Series Nielsen ratings have dropped from a 23.5 rating in Game 7 of the 2001 World Series to a 14.7 in 2011’s Game 7 — the latest World Series to go to seven games. In comparison, Game 7 of the 2013 NBA Finals had a 17.7 rating, and Super Bowl XLVIII had a 46.4 rating.

In-person viewership is also down, as evidenced by stadium capacities as reported

by ESPN. The NFL filled to 96.53 percent capacity in 2013, the NBA filled to 90.9 percent capacity and the MLB filled to 70.33 percent capacity.

So what caused this decline? Games are getting slower and slower. The Chicago Cubs blog Bleed Cubbie Blue calculated an average game time of three hours, nine minutes for 2014, up from a two hour, 51 minute average in 2004.

Many blame commercial breaks and the new replay system, but the real slowing of the game comes from the batter taking several seconds to step out of the box for seemingly no reason, especially if they didn’t even swing at the prior pitch.

Offensive production is also down, as Baseball Almanac shows that MLB is currently on pace to have the fewest total home runs since 1995 and the lowest total batting average since 1972.

Finally, the extremely long MLB schedule (which is almost twice as long as the NBA or NHL season) leads many fans to argue that missing one game won’t be that bad, as there’s 161 others to watch.

It’s no secret that MLB attendance is dwindling, but what can MLB do to fight it?

Many analysts have cited MLB Rule 8.04, where a pitcher must deliver the ball within twelve seconds of receiving it, or a “ball” will be awarded to the batter. Additionally, Rule 6.02 states that, “The batter shall take his position in the batter’s box promptly when it is his time at bat. The umpire should eliminate hitters walking out of the batter’s box without reason.” Both of these rules have been completely ignored, and any enforcement of these rules will surely make the game flow much quicker.

Another big step would be to aggressively market players. Most people in the Midwest can easily recall a player like Albert Pujols, and new faces such as Mike Trout are also extremely familiar. Many people go to sports games to see a single star player (LeBron, anyone?), and aggressively marketing MLB’s stars could attract fans to the game.

Baseball is one of America’s greatest sports—it’s our national pastime, after all— but without steps to increase fan interest, it may continue to fade into obscurity.

The future of the 2014 Hurricane: an outlook on Tulsa football in brief Collegian sports reporter Wade Crawford takes a guess at the Golden Hurricane’s chances this football season.

Through the very early stages of the University of Tulsa football season, we have seen both the best and worst of the team.

The season began with a thrilling doubleovertime win against Tulane, where Dane Evans passed for 438 yards and four touchdowns, and the team gained a total of 592 yards.

Then Oklahoma came to town, dominating Tulsa 52–7. Tulsa only gained 328 yards and turned the ball over four times, giving up 580 yards. This past Saturday, Tulsa was beaten by Florida Atlantic University by a score of 50–21, giving up 341 passing yards while gaining only 363 total yards.

The Golden Hurricane continues their season with a pair of non-conference matchups followed by a tough conference schedule. The next game for Tulsa is at home against Texas State, followed by the Hurricane’s second road trip of the year against Colorado State in Fort Collins. Texas State began the 2014 season with a 65–0 thrash-

ing of Arkansas Pine Bluff, followed by a 35–21 loss to Navy. Colorado State has an average offense, but ranks 107th out of 125 teams in total defense. Look for Tulsa to perform well at home, but possibly struggle on the road against CSU. The following three games begin the remainder of conference play (Tulane is also in the American), with the Homecoming contest against South Florida in between matchups on the road against Temple and Memphis. Temple followed a 37–7 crushing of Vanderbilt with a 31–24 loss against the Naval Academy, while Memphis came within a touchdown of beating #12 ranked UCLA. Tulsa should come out of the first two games relatively unharmed, but will struggle against Memphis. Memphis currently has the most rushing yards per game in the American, and creates a bad matchup against the Tulsa defense, which allows 230.7 rushing yards per game.

Following those three games, Tulsa plays at home against a struggling SMU team, then faces a tough stretch to end the season.

The Hurricane plays at Central Florida, at Houston, and at home against East Carolina.

These three teams were predicted to finish

within the top four of the American Athletic Conference by the analysts at CBS Sports and Athlon Sports. A fairly formidable UCF has suffered tough losses to Penn State and Missouri, while ECU followed a close loss to No. 14 South Carolina with an upset of No. 17 Virginia Tech on the road in Blacksburg. Tulsa will likely struggle, playing against these top teams in the conference.

So how does this all come together? Well, TU football will have both high and low points in the season, which is apparent after the first three weeks of the season. While Tulsa is in the bottom five of the FBS (Football Bowl Subdivision, the top 128 college football teams) in total defense so far, wide receiver Keevan Lucas is sixth in the nation with 372 receiving yards, and quarterback Dane Evans is 15th in passing yards.

The Hurricane should bounce back with a strong opening to start conference play, using the middle of the season to gain momentum for the challenging final fourth of the season. Expect a record at .500 for the Hurricane this year—not a return to the 2012 level of success, but a small improvement over last year with some potential for success in 2015.

Tulsa washed away

by FAU, rain in FL Joseph Edmonds tells the tragic tale of the Hurricane’s stormy loss in the Sunshine state.

The Golden Hurricane football team struggled in their game on Saturday, suffering their second big loss in as many games against the Florida Athletic University Owls by a score of 50–21.

The Owls struck early and often, scoring on their first three possessions of the game.

Leading 3–0 early in the first quarter, FAU quarterback Jaquez Johnson responded to a Tulsa punt by hitting receiver William Dukes for a 74 yard touchdown.

On Tulsa’s ensuing possession, quarterback Dane Evans threw his first of two interceptions, which was returned by D’Joun Smith for a touchdown. At the end of the first quarter, FAU led 17–0.

The Golden Hurricane started the second quarter by scoring on a 9-yard pass from Evans to receiver Conner Floyd, and then proceeded to prevent the Owls from scoring on three straight possessions.

FAU soon found their stride again, scor-

ing 16 consecutive points to close the half, including a safety against Tulsa.

Tulsa once again started the third quarter with a score, this time on a Mandel Dixon 3-yard run which pulled the Golden Hurricane back within 20, but that was as close as they would get for the rest of the game.

To close out the third and continue into the fourth quarter, FAU made another run, again scoring 17 consecutive points to put the game out of reach. Tulsa running back Zack Langer tallied the final score of the game on a 3 yard touchdown run. The final score was 50–21.

The Golden Hurricanes were outgained

by FAU 518 yards to 363 and turned the ball over three times while not taking it away once. Quarterback Evans threw for 269 yards and one touchdown but also threw two interceptions, including the one that was returned for a touchdown in the first quarter.

Tulsa sits at 1–2 on the year now, has a bye next week, and will look to bounce back when they return to action the following week against Texas State with a home game at H.A. Chapman Stadium.

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photo courtesy Max Jackson, University Press

Tulsa wide receiver Conner Floyd, hauls in a pass from quarterback Dane Evans against FAU on Saturday night.

‘Cane Calendar September 15-22 Tuesday, Sept. 16: Men’s Soccer vs. Oral Roberts;

Hurricane Stadium, 7 p.m.

Friday, Sept. 19: Women’s Soccer vs. Texas Tech; Stillwater, Okla., 5 p.m.

Women’s Volleyball vs. Oral Roberts;

Reynolds Center, 7 p.m.

Women’s Tennis @ OU Invite; Norman, OK Men’s Tennis @ USTA Napa Invite; Napa Valley, CA Men’s Tennis @ Baylor Invitational; Waco, TX

Saturday, Sept. 20: Cross Country @ Missouri Southern

Stampede Invitational; Joplin, Mo. Men’s Soccer @ Akron; Akron, Ohio, 6 p.m.

Women’s Volleyball vs. McNeese State;

Reynolds Center, 7 p.m.

Women’s Tennis @ OU Invite; Norman, OK Men’s Tennis @ USTA Napa Invite; Napa Valley, CA Men’s Tennis @ Baylor Invitational; Waco, TX

Jesse Keipp is…

NFL Cracks down on Filmed Domestic Violence While the NFL has all but eliminated “oldschool” football with new rules that favor offense, a handful of high-profile players have clung to the “old-school” ways of family life (e.g. pick-up boxing with your wife and teaching your child a lesson with a switch).

Since TMZ Sports released the security footage of Ray Rice punching out his thenfiance in an Atlantic City casino elevator, the collective outrage against Rice has rekindled. Rice’s squad, the Baltimore Ravens, cut him the day of the video’s release. By instituting an indefinite suspension for Rice, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and company have compensated for Goodell’s two-game suspension snafu.

To the chagrin of many, Goodell has insisted that the NFL never saw the footage.

Because the NFL wants more drama than a Lifetime original movie, conflicted reports have arisen, some stating that the NFL never requested footage, while others stating that police withheld the footage from the NFL brass.

Photo courtesy of www.soccerissue.com

“Though shalt not beat thy wife lest thou be caught on camera.”

In order to clarify the confusion, the NFL has commissioned former FBI director Robert Mueller to conduct an independent, internal investigation. Because “independent” is more of a vague concept than a clearly defined adjective to The League of Extraordinarily Wealthy Gentlemen, Giants owner John Mara and Steelers owner Art Rooney are overseeing the investigation.

Despite the outcry from irate fans, advocacy organizations and even senators, no one seems to realize that filmed domestic violence is no worse than the domestic violence that remains behind closed (elevator) doors. Domestic violence is domestic violence. Ray Rice’s cowardly beatdown of his wife isn’t any more egregious now that the world has seen it on tape. We had already seen the video of Rice dragging her unconscious body out of the elevator.

We knew what had happened.

So why the outrage now? Why call for Goodell’s head now? It should not take a TMZ video to enrage the public.

In a nightmare of a week for the NFL in terms of players turning violent against innocent people who weigh significantly less, Minnesota Vikings star Adrian Peterson was indicted for child negligence for beating his son with a switch.

According to CBS Houston, Peterson placed leaves in his pantless 4-year-old son’s mouth as he “whooped” him with a tree branch from his Houston home’s backyard. Peterson, who “used the same kind of discipline on his child that he experienced as a child growing up in East Texas” according to his attorney, left the toddler with bruises and lacerations on his buttocks, thighs, lower back and hand.

While Peterson claims he didn’t intend to seriously injure his child, he and any other abusive parents need to know that switches have no place in discipline. Since American sports have long been cultural catalysts, Goodell and the NFL can’t overlook Peterson’s case. Domestic violence has no place in any family.

Oh, and the Carolina Panthers finally deactivated their defensive end Greg Hardy for his domestic abuse conviction over the summer. If you haven’t heard of this case, it’s because there wasn’t any video to replay endlessly on ESPN.

Sunday, Sept. 21: Men’s Golf @ Windon Memorial Classic; Evanston, Ill. Women’s Golf @ Furman Lady Paladin; Greenville, S.C. Women’s Soccer @ OSU; Stillwater, OK.7 p.m.

Women’s Tennis @ OU Invite; Norman, OK Monday, Sept. 22: Men’s Golf @ Windon Memorial Classic; Evanston, Ill. Women’s Golf @ Furman Lady Paladin; Greenville, S.C. Women’s Tennis @ OU Invite; Norman, OKww

the Collegian : 4

WoW

NEWS

15 September 2014

!!!

OF LI FE

Staff Writer Claire Thompson takes us on a journey through the Circle Cinema’s history, from its glorious beginning in 1928 to its period of showing controversial adult films, to its most recent renovations.

Walking into the Circle Cinema today, the average filmgoer would have no idea of the metamorphosis the iconic Kendall Whittier neighborhood theater has undergone in the last ten years.

The Circle was opened in July 1928, along with a barber shop and a candy store that were located in the Circle’s lobby. The new cinema had everything from a prime location in Tulsa’s first suburban shopping center to a Robert Morton pipe organ. For 35 years, the Circle remained in use, finally being closed for renovation in 1963.

Only 15 years later, the Circle reinvented itself as the “New Circle Cinema,” featuring controversial adult films. Eventually, the historic theater fell into disrepair. In 2003, the Circle was purchased by the current owner, Chuck Foxen, who began renovating and refurbishing the theater in 2004.

These days, the Circle is very different from its pre-Depression beginnings or its run as the “New Circle,” now focusing on community involvement and support of Tulsa’s creative minds.

“The Circle has brought a new chance for people to see things that they may not have otherwise seen,” says Amanda Collins, the Circle’s Head Attaché of Relations. “We

s e t a r b e l e y C e n a r u m e o J n i r C a e e l Y c r n i C Te get a lot of people coming in and requesting things that would have been only in California or only in New York. I think giving people a chance to see something that is so limited really brings a new aspect of culture to Tulsa.”

The Circle Cinema’s popularity also provides a new energy to northeast Tulsa, as new businesses open in the Kendall Whittier area. “More people have seen that there is potential here, and I really feel like we have impacted that growth,” said Collins.

Located at 1st and Lewis, a short distance from the University of Tulsa campus, the Circle recognizes its unique opportunity to reach students. One promotion, TU TwoDollar Tuesdays, offers TU students admission to the Circle’s independent films at a discounted rate.

Providing support to the community’s artists is another of the Circle’s priorities.

The theater hosts “open screens” to give local filmmakers a chance to put their work in the public eye. “Independent films don’t always get the recognition they deserve,” said Collins. “There are a lot of really good films that just don’t get the funding or advertising, and we really want to give those people a chance.”

The Circle also maintains an art gallery wall where Tulsa artists display and sell their work for free. The artists have full autonomy on the arrangement and pricing of their art and receive 100 percent of the proceeds from sales.

However, even with the Circle’s ten-year

evolution into a community-centered institution, they maintain a strong focus on their vibrant history. The Circle Cinema’s original pipe organ was recently restored and is exhibited in one of the theaters. The Circle also displays a 1928 movie projector in the front lobby as a tangible reminder of just how far technology, and the Circle Cinema, has come.

The Collegian / Kyle Walker

“My favorite part is hearing everyone’s stories and experiences,” said Collins. “We get so many people that came here in the eighties or even in the sixties, and they all have stories and memories from the Circle.

I love hearing about all of those, because it reminds you that this is a crucial part of our community.”

Courtesy circlecinema.com

In 1951, twenty-three years after the Circle Cinema opened, the Circle Cinema was still in its glory days as Tulsans visited its vibrant lobby and stylish theaters.

Center for Global Education hosts “Lessons from Abroad” Staff writer Michaela Flonard reports on the “Lessons from Abroad” conference, which seeks to solve problems, aid students returning from studying abroad.

Despite majoring in both English and French, Junior Tracy Kinealy found it rather difficult to share her experiences from her semester abroad in Paris, France.

“It’s a hard experience to talk about with people,” Kinealy noted. While her friends and family wanted to hear about her adventures, they could not come up with the right questions to ask, and Kinealy did not know where to begin. It is hard to find a common ground for conversations when others have not undergone anything similar, Kinealy suggested.

Laura Semenow, Assistant Director of the University of Tulsa’s Center for Global Education, hopes last Saturday’s “Lessons from Abroad” conference helped solve problems like Kinealy’s.

For years, Semenow has noticed that though students go abroad and have lifechanging experiences, once they return many do not know how to use this knowledge.

“Lots of employers want students who have gone abroad,” Semenow said.

Some students like Emily Taylor, a junior art history major who went to England for the summer, don’t know how to make their ventures relevant in interviews. “If you don’t know how to explain these experiences (abroad), it might not seem important to future employers or graduate schools,” Taylor said.

Semenow hopes that the conference helped alleviate those fears and that attend-

ees learned from speakers how to talk about what they learned abroad.

Beyond helping students prepare for the future, the organizers expect those who attended the “Lessons from Abroad” conference will work on changing the culture of Oklahoma.

“We really want Oklahoma to be a more ‘international state,’” Semenow said. “We want students to help make people more interculturally aware.”

Changing Oklahoma’s culture would come as a relief for Victoria Redding, a business management and marketing major who went to Spain this summer. She thinks that her “experiences abroad will absolutely not help (her) in Oklahoma,” because the state doesn’t value international background.

Taylor is interested in changing that. “Just living in (another) culture opened my eyes to how to interact with international students here. I’m more aware of cultural differences whether we think they’re big differences or not,” Taylor said, excited to influence the interactions between native and international students at TU. These kinds of lessons might be the most important thing to come out of the “Lessons from Abroad” conference. At its core, the conference is an opportunity for students who went abroad to gather together and share stories from their adventures and lessons that they learned.

Redding, for instance, was able to share that, while abroad, “the other American students kind of ruined the experience,” because they resembled the cliche American stereotype: loud, brash and rude. Furthermore, they probably kept her from more adventurous undertakings. “The local students really made it bearable.”

Taylor agrees with Redding and was dis-

appointed that the only interactions she had with locals while abroad were her professors or administrators.

Sharing lessons like these should be very helpful for those who wish to go abroad again. The conference hosted tables and workshops from organizations who help students keep living an international lifestyle, including the State Department, Tulsa Global Alliance, the Peace Corps, Hostelling International USA and Cultural Vistas.

Even though this is only its second year, the conference has already helped students connect with their passions abroad. Erika Cestler was connected to a program during last year’s conference and is now teaching in China, while Brianna Ledge is planning to study in Brazil this spring.

As the conference continues to grow, Semenow and others expect more successes like these to begin connecting Tulsa and Oklahoma to the greater world.

Students network with NSA, Koch and others at career fair

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G N I Z k Networ

Sara Douglas/Collegian

Junior petroleum engineering major Elmer Franco talks to Autumn Shannon at WPX Energy about setting up an interview for a potential summer internship.

NEWS

15 September 2014

the Collegian : 5

Eye on the world:

Lizzie Connor Staff Writer Asia China

Authorities in Hong Kong, China, had to euthanize nearly 5,000 dogs this week. A recent and severe outbreak of rabies has been determined to be the cause of five deaths in the province Baoshan. In 2006, 16 people died from rabies. After this outbreak, the city had the disease under control till it reemerged in the last few months, sparking the drastic need for immediate action.

Rabies is a virus that affects humans via bites or scratches from affected animals.

This virus quickly travels through the central nervous system, causing violent inflammation of the brain and spinal cord.

In addition to the 5,000 euthanizations, another 100,000 canines were vaccinated to further prevent another round of rabies-related human deaths. The city authorities executed these safety measures as part of their ‘anti-rabies campaign.’ Stray dogs around China are often picked up by animal control teams in attempt to keep rabies at bay. Authorities have now contained the virus and the Chinese community is safe once more, hopefully this time more permanently.

The F0rge is open to all students whether they want to use the 3D printer or are merely looking for a place to host club meetings.

Joseph Edmunds Staff Writer

Next Thursday from 6–8 p.m., the F0rge hosts its first workshop of the semester.

The workshop will focus on 3D printing.

Founded last spring, the F0rge is TU’s own hackerspace: a community for collaboration among people looking to learn and engage with others in different fields.

Inspiration for the F0rge came on a crosscountry trip, in which co-founders James Johnson and Andrew Kongs brainstormed ideas during long downtime periods. They hoped to create an environment where people from different disciplines could come together and collaborate.

Dr. James Sorem, Dean of the College of Engineering and Natural Sciences, allowed them to use room U358 in Keplinger Hall, one of the old homes of iSec, or Tulsa’s Institute for Information Security. ISec moved out of the space in 2010, leaving the room available.

In January of 2014, the F0rge became a reality as Johnson and Kongs set up the hackerspace. In addition to hosting the hackerspace, “part of the mission of the F0rge is to allow clubs to meet here if they don’t have a space otherwise,” stated Johnson.

“We want people from as many kinds of disciplines as possible,” said Johnson, a computer science graduate student. He

Middle East Saudi Arabia The ‘Empty Quarter’ is an extremely vast stretch of desert, 650,000 square kilometers, that runs through the lower Arabian peninsula and reaches temperatures above 122 degrees Farenheit. It dominates as the largest uninterrupted desert in the entire world.

Its eerie nickname is derived from the bone-dry terrain that creates a nearly impossible environment for living, save for the nomadic Bedouin people that use it only seasonally. The desert is so dangerous that special permits are needed to drive deeper than the small roads that only line the outskirts.

A husband and wife from Qatar passed away this week of thirst after getting lost in this treacherous desert. The couple was driving from an estate that they owned deep in the desert when their vehicle broke down and left them stranded. The wife was found near the vehicle and her husband was found 6 miles away, presumably searching for help and water.

compared a hackerspace to a fab (fabrication) lab, the difference being the focus of a fab lab on equipment in contrast to a hackerspace’s emphasis on the community. “The real magic is the people in here to contribute,” stated Johnson.

According to Johnson, the term hackerspace throws many people off. The current connotation of hacking involves computers, and cyber security specifically. Johnson, however, says that a hackerspace truly is a place to gain “a deep understanding of a system to redesign it for a purpose that the maker didn’t intend.”

The workshop next week is the first of many. Future workshop topics could include plasma cutting, welding and soldering. Along with these workshops that teach students how to use some of the high-tech equipment, Johnson and Kongs also hope to host some other events, such as cookouts, a primitive camping workshop, a workshop on movie network security and workshops on other topics that students are interested in.

The equipment at the F0rge is available to all students and used by some classes. In the spring semester last year, some mechanical engineering professors sent their students to work in the F0rge. Computer science and mechanical engineering professors have encouraged their students to use the space.

There is someone present at all times who knows how to use the equipment.

More information about the F0rge and its events can be found on their website, www. thef0rge.org, and on their facebook page, www.facebook.com/TUF0rge.

woof!!

Courtesy bbc.com

Above is a house from London which measures only 6’ 11” in width. Despite its small size, the house boasts two bedrooms, a kitchen, living room, bathroom and a roof-top terrace.

Africa Europe

Kenya The Ebola crisis remains in the spotlight and African news headlines. Updates on death tolls, vaccine trials and world health organization relief strategies are constant.

Ebola coverage is certainly important but an issue arises when other headline-worthy news stands in its shadows.

There is a disease more prevalent than either Ebola, malaria and AIDS. Hypertension more commonly known as high blood pressure, is Africa’s silent killer.

One in two African individuals over the age of 25 is affected. Generally, the cause is poor nutrition, such as high calorie and high sodium foods.

Awareness of this condition is generally lacking. Communities fear other diseases and often contend with poverty, making hypertension a low priority.

A patient admitted to an African hospital is more often offered an HIV or malaria testing, which is more expensive and invasive, rather than a simple blood pressure screening. Medical training, money, and supplies are poured into these three diseases but not much else.

Despite the minimal publicity, the African Population Health Research Center is making a definite move towards increasing hypertension awareness and prevention.

England A home in Northern London measuring a mere 6 feet 11 inches (2.1 meters) wide is going to be for sale at an estate auction on Oct. 1. It has two bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, a bathroom and even roof-top terrace.

The tiny home was built where a driveway-garage once stood. The auction is starting the bidding with a guided price of £235,000 (approximately $382,000 in the USA).

How all of the basic amenities fit into this small space is a mystery that only those who venture into the nook will ever know. Here is some perspective: the deck of a University of Tulsa USA South apartment is approximately 12 feet long and 5 feet wide.

I am left to conclude that the buyer(s) of this alcove of a home must not be bothered by a lack of personal space. Also, best of luck to the homeowner as he or she searches for furniture—perhaps Fisher-Price or the makers of Barbie can lend a hand.

Attention Business, Marketing & Advertising Students!

Are you…

Talented?

Organized?

Tired of your parents telling you to get a job?

Want to earn some extra cash during the 2014-15 school year?

Taco Bell is looking for a campus representative ® Taco Bell on the Tulsa University Campus. to advertise & Market ® 8-10 hours per week (no set hours) $200 per month!

We will be hiring one student, for the 2014-15 school year!

Please email your resume to: amanda@williams-crawford.com F0rge photos courtesy Samuel Beckmann

The above 3D printed dog was created in the F0rge by graduate student Ali Maskus, who is an electrical engineering major.

News

the Collegian : 6

8 September 2014

“Dream Project” and “Communities in school” work with will rodgers high School students Photo Credit: Sara Thomas Alexandria Sligar, a 15-year-old sophomore attending Will Rogers High School, receives tutoring as a part of the Communities in School program. The Dream Project works to improve the education prospects for students.

TU Students develop a relationship with Will Rogers High School students, encouraging them to pursue higher education, Staff writer Caitlin Woods reports. Interested students can get involved with one ot two organizations.

The TU Dream Project, in partnership with Will Rogers High School, is working to inspire students to pursue higher education.

The project began in 2013 with the goal of developing a mentoring partnership between students at TU and students at Will Rogers High School. TU students involved in the project work oneon-one with high school students to inspire and guide them toward pursuing higher education.

The Dream Project works in conjunction with College Summit to help students in low-income communities through high school and the college application process.

“The program was started a few years ago by a group of Presiden-

tial Scholars,” said Lauren Stanley, a TU ambassador for the Dream Project at Will Rogers. Past years have seen the Dream Project moving away from its original focus on college preparation to more general tutoring. This year, however, Stanley says the project is closer to the original vision.

“Currently, we’re meeting with a group of 26 seniors who are all college bound,” she said. They have “taken the ACT and are in the process of applying” to schools.

According to College Summit, 95 percent of both low-income and high-income students have a desire to pursue college, but only 8 percent of low-income students end up with more than a high school diploma, compared to 84 percent from higher-income communities.

Caleb Lareau, another TU student involved in the Dream Project, said he is grateful that the project provides Will Rogers students with role models and mentors who really care.

Stanley emphasized the need for students in Tulsa Public Schools to be self-motivated, “The kids who

are really pursuing college have an internal drive to do so, so they look for any resource to do so. College is not the expectation—graduating high school is not the expectation at Will Rogers in many cases.”

Susan Mulvaney is the site coordinator for Communities in Schools, another group highly involved in tutoring at Will Rogers.

Mulvaney emphasized the importance of relationships such as those fostered through the Dream Project and Communities in Schools, saying, “It gives (students) ideas of what they can look forward to for their education.”

When students are given an older role model, such as a college mentor, “It makes them realize they’re not alone. It’s important for these kids to realize that college is doable.”

The Communities in Schools coordinators at Will Rogers are always seeking college students to become tutors in the program.

Tutors meet with students every Monday through Thursday from 3:30–5 p.m.

Stanley and Lareau both encourage students to become in-

Sotomayor At TU ! e c sti

Ju

Photo credit Samuel Beckmann

Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor chats with TU College of Law Professor Robert Spoo in Sept. 10 Fireside Chat.

Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor discussed her early life, rapport with other justices, affirmative action and ethics with College of Law Professor Robert Spoo.

Student writer Brennen VanderVeen reports.

On Wednesday Sept. 10, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor visited TU for a “fireside chat” with College of Law Professor Robert Spoo. Spoo clerked for Sotomayor while she served on the US Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit. Sotomayor also oversees the Tenth Circuit, which includes Oklahoma.

The chat initially focused on Sotomayor’s early life and career. Firstly, Professor Spoo asked her to discuss her love for

the TV series “Perry Mason.”

Sotomayor said she admires both the defense attorney title character and his prosecutor rival Hamilton Burger. Ordinarily the audience would favor Perry Mason, but Sotomayor said she was also inspired by Hamilton Burger’s devotion to law and to justice above just getting convictions.

In regard to working on the Supreme Court, she explained

that compromise is more difficult to reach here than on the Courts of Appeals because there are more judges on the Supreme Court and no “safety valve” court above them to correct bad decisions. Also, given the gravity of the cases that often make it to the Supreme Court, disagreements can involve fundamental constitutional issues.

An adversarial view of the justices would be mistaken, Sotomayor said. According to her, 60 percent of their cases are unanimous. Another 20–25 percent are nearly so. It is only a minority of the cases that get a 5­–4 decision.

Also, the justices spend time to-

volved in the community. “I think everyone (at TU) values their college education, and I think it’s a

fairly human drive to share that with kids who are literally one block away,” Stanley said.

Contact Communities in Schools Susan Mulvaney at susan.mulvaney@tulsa. cismidamerica.org or (918)-833-9087 Felipe Oyarzo at felipe.oyarzo@tulsa. cismidamerica.org or (918)-698-1483 College Summit 1763 Columbia Road, NW Second Floor Washington, DC 20009 http://www.collegesummit.org/the-challenge

Contact Dream Project Lauren Stanley at lauren-stanley@utulsa.edu Caleb Lareau at caleb-lareau@utulsa.edu gether at things like fine arts performances and baseball games.

Spoo asked Sotomayor how she decides to write a dissent when disagreements do arise among the justices. The Supreme Court answers both statutory and constitutional questions. Sotomayor treats the two differently.

Since statutory questions only involve laws, she sees them as a good opportunity to give signals to legislators and lower courts.

For instance, she cited a dissent by Justice Ginsburg that gave rise to the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which changed the statute of limitations on wage discrimination law after the Supreme Court had given a much more narrow statutory interpretation. When it comes to constitutional questions, however, she said that she feels almost compelled because of how serious the decisions can be.

The only controversial issue discussed at the chat was Sotomayor’s views on affirmative action. She is a well-known proponent of that policy. She noted that we “all aspire to a color blind society.” Even so, American society is still “affected by (race) at every level.” She cited difficulties that minorities may face that might hinder their levels of achievement. Sotomayor said she didn’t know what an Ivy League school was until she was a senior in high school since there was no expectation at her school for her to attend one.

Sotomayor accused affirma-

tive action opponents of being “blind” to reality. “The structure of our society automatically makes race matter,” she said.

Affirmative action, she said, is a necessary remedy to achieve greater racial equality.

Among the last topics of discussion were her views on the role of both law schools and undergraduate education. She believes that the practice of law is an act of service. As such, she encourages more pro bono work for students in law school. She applauded TU’s emphasis on ethics in law, but said that she thought it needs more clinical programs to help the community at large.

She also believes that it would be wise for law schools to divide into regions and specialize since it’s impossible to be the top school in every area. In contrast, at the undergraduate level, she expressed gratitude that her college (Princeton) didn’t have a pre-law program. TU does not currently have a pre-law program, but is currently in the process of expanding their undergraduate law program.

Sotomayor believes a liberal arts education is valuable because it exposes students to a broad range of ideas. This is important because the law deals with all kinds of professions. A larger background makes people more interesting, which will help students in whatever field they enter.

News

8 September 2014

City of Tulsa and TPD give us the runaround Attempts to follow up on an Open Records request filed with TPD yielded no fruit, plenty of redirection.

Annoying journalist Kyle Walker reports.

The Collegian reported in last week’s issue that an Open Records request filed by the paper with the Tulsa Police Department was denied.

This request was made as part of the paper’s research into a lawsuit filed against TU. The school is being sued by a former student who alleges that the school violated Title IX during its investigation of her sexual assault report.

The lawsuit claims that the school had previous knowledge of sexual assault accusations made against Patrick Swilling, Jr.. Communications between TPD and TU may shed light on how TU conducted its original investigation or reveal whether TU actually had such knowledge.

In our request, the Collegian first asked for the police report originally filed against Swilling in February. TPD provided this document in an e-mail on August 21.

In the same request the Collegian asked for any communications between the University of Tulsa and TPD concerning TPD’s criminal investigation, TU’s internal investigation or TU’s knowledge of previous sexual assault allegations made against Swilling.

TPD made no mention of this portion of our request in their original e-mail.

When I asked why the second part of that request had been

denied, my e-mails were not returned.

On Sept. 3, I visited police headquarters at 600 Civic Center. The police official I met with looked over the request and told me that “the Chief has declined to release that information.”

He did not provide any legal justification for the denial. When pressed on the question the official told me that I would need to “take that up with city legal.” I was told the official normally responsible for Open Records requests was at that time out of the office.

The Oklahoma Open Records Act notes that it is the responsibility of a public agency to demonstrate that requested records are exempt from release. The ORA states that “the person, agency, or political division” seeking to withhold a record from public access “shall at all times bear the burden of establishing such records are protected” by a statutory exemption.

The next morning around 9:45 a.m., I placed a call to the City Attorney’s office. After I explained what had happened at police headquarters, I was told that there was no one in the office who could address my problem and that the office would call me back.

Since then I have placed three other calls to the City Attorney’s office and received none. Last Thursday my call was directed to an attorney in the office.

Once I identified myself as a Collegian reporter the attorney told me, “I don’t speak with the press,” and indicated that it was not his job to talk to me about why the Collegian’s request was de-

Photo credit Sara Douglas

A candle is shielded from the rain at a vigil held by the Association of Black Collegians.

ABC holds vigil

The Association of Black Collegians, Pride and the Society for Gender Equality held a vigil focused on combating violence against minorities. Student writer Sarah Hicks reports.

On Wednesday, Sept. 10, the Association of Black Collegians (ABC) held a vigil to highlight injustices that have taken place not only in Ferguson, Mo., but also in Tulsa and throughout the world.

The vigil centered around a series of stations intended to showcase various forms of violence, whether motivated by gender, gender identity, sexual orientation or race.

Roughly fifty students were in attendance and had the opportunity to hear speeches, stories, poetry and music which made these issues very real.

After Michael Brown was shot and killed by a Ferguson police officer, ABC began planning a vigil to raise awareness of racial violence. At first the organization intended to focus solely on the slain teenager. After further development it grew to encompass other issues relevant to TU and Tulsa.

ABC, Pride, the Society for Gender Equality, Women’s and Gender Studies, the Office of Multicultural Affairs and United Campus Ministries (UCM) all contributed to the vigil.

Jasmine Antwine, the President of ABC, worked alongside other officers and the Office of Multicultural Affairs to organize this vigil over the course of about three weeks. She said that part of its purpose was to “inform people of not only the black community, but just the community in general on how racism still exists.”

When asked about her club’s choice to include PRIDE and the Society for Gender Equality, she explained “racial minorities aren’t the only ones who are being discriminated against. It’s more than just racism nowadays. We all kind

of sing the same cry.”

ABC officers wanted to tackle broader issues affecting all minorities rather than focusing on one specific issue. This was done to establish unity among minorities instead of competition for attention.

The vigil began with a poem entitled “I Had a Nightmare” read

by TU student Sterling Matthews.

In it, the author mirrored Martin Luther King Jr.’s iconic “I Have a Dream” speech and spoke to difficulties faced in everyday life by minorities.

ABC’s Tanisha Rochez shared facts about worldwide slavery before the audience proceeded to a station at which Molly Noah of UCM spoke on violence against transwomen of color. Then Jalyssa Valencia gave a history of the 1921 Tulsa Race Riots, followed by a presentation by Morgan Taylor about violence against women.

Some of the most moving pieces of the vigil were personal stories shared as part of students’ speeches. TU sophomore Kyla Sloan told a story about prejudice in her own life, while also discussing minority marginalization in education and disproportionate incarceration.

Carter Neblett, a junior, also spoke about how he had been stopped and patted down by campus security after they had been alerted to “suspicious behavior.”

Neblett said this had occurred during the beginning of his freshman year while he was taking a jog.

At the conclusion of the vigil, ABC distributed candles and lit among the attendees and ABC officers led a “Commitment to Justice”. Attendees pledged to light their candles “against the darkness of ignorance, hatred, violence, and bigotry;” “to illuminate a different path of mutual respect, understanding, acceptance, and speech;” and “as a sign of solidarity with all those whose lives have been touched by bullying, harassment, discrimination, violence, and terror.”

nied.

He then directed me to the City Attorney, David O’Meilia, and to the records department of TPD. During my last phone call to the City Attorney’s office, the answering secretary identified this attorney as the office’s liaison with the police force.

For those of you keeping score at home, TPD sent me to the City Attorney’s office which sent me back to TPD. I have so far been unable to contact Mr. O’Meilia. I am told that he is out of the office until later this month.

The City of Tulsa website lists contact information for the police department’s Open Records official. The call I made to that number on Thursday has not yet been returned.

Dr. Joey Senat, Associate Professor at the School of Media and Strategic Communication at Oklahoma State University, told the Collegian, “anything that TPD was willing to share with TU it should be willing to share with the rest of the public.”

the Collegian: 7

The Collegian’s Open Records experience The Collegian requests police report and communications between TU and TPD.

TPD provides police report but ignores request for communications.

Kyle Walker went to police headquarters.

Walker was told to consult City Legal.

Walker was told by City Legal to contact the City Attorney or records office at TPD

Rinse and repeat

President announces sexual misconduct course In an e-mail last Friday, President Upham said that students will be required to undergo an online sexual misconduct course before registering for the spring semester. Editor-in-Chief Kyle Walker reports.

“Fundamentally, this is a peer-topeer issue,” University of Tulsa President Steadman Upham said about on-campus sexual violence at a meeting last Tuesday. “It’s something you all need to take control of. We obviously are interested in providing the right framework for understanding all of the issues.”

Upham was speaking to a group of around 50 students, faculty and administrators who had gathered in Collins Hall.

From Upham’s perspective, the outcome of the meeting was clear: “Students in attendance clearly indicated that their peers from every corner of campus must be engaged, speak up and advocate for a culture of respect,” Upham said in an e-mail sent to the university community Friday. “All attending agreed to dedicate time and resources to ending sexual violence at TU.” In the same e-mail, Upham announced two concrete steps the university will take to combat sexual violence. The first is a “campus climate survey” which will be administered by the Tulsa Institute for Trauma, Adversity and Injustice (TITAN). The second is an online sexual misconduct course which every student must pass before registering for the spring semester.

The bulk of the attendance at Tuesday’s meeting comprised student leaders from across TU’s campus. The Student Association, Greek organizations, Athletics, Housing, faith communities and the Collegian were all represented.

The university’s administration was represented by some of TU’s vice presidents, Director of Athletics Derrick Gragg, Provost Roger Blais, Assistant Dean of Students Larry Putman, Director of Multicultural Student Programs Laura Allen, among others. Dr. Michael McClendon represented Counseling and Psychological Services.

Present were many members of TU’s Advocacy Alliance, a body located under the Office of Student Affairs. The Alliance is is tasked with providing sexual violence education and support for victims of sexual violence. Members of the Advocacy Alliance work on a volunteer basis in addition to their other roles at TU. Co-Director Dr. Joanne Davis and other members of TITAN were also present.

In addition to those mentioned in Upham’s email, other measures to combat sexual violence were discussed at the meeting. Laura Allen agreed to provide the Collegian with more information about some of these programs.

In addition to restarting its iStand campaign, in which faculty and administrators have their photos taken with a sign saying “I stand against sexual violence,” the Advocacy Alliance will offer bystander intervention training to faculty, staff and students.

“We really want to ensure that we as a community understand that sexual violence is a community issue and that we are all responsible for the safety and wellbeing of all the students here,” Allen said at the meeting. “Learning how to safely and effectively intervene when we see something wrong, or see something that’s worrisome, is really what’s important.”

Once a student has undergone this training, he or she is eligible to have a photo taken with the iStand sign. If you’d like to sign up for training, contact Laura Allen.

The Alliance will be putting on other programs throughout the se-

mester. A complete list is currently unavailable, but we are told one is forthcoming.

“All of our programming this year focuses on the importance of responsibility of our community and working to educate students to help them recognize that we live in a culture that accepts many forms of sexual violence as the status quo,” Allen said. “Sexual violence is the fault of the perpetrator. It’s not the fault of the victim. Understanding that difference is an important part of our programming.”

President Upham echoed this sentiment at Tuesday’s meeting.

“It’s not fair to blame the circumstances. It’s not fair to blame alcohol. It’s not fair to blame the way somebody looks,” Upham said.

Other topics at the meeting included TU student conduct policies and procedures. University officials could not discuss specifics of disciplinary proceedings, but encouraged students to educate themselves about the conduct process.

The student conduct policy “requires that the student come forward with the information we need to adjudicate the situation,” said Earl Johnson, Associate Vice President for Enrollment and Student Services. “In that process we hear both sides of the story and arrive at a verdict that either says that student has violated the code of conduct or has not. That doesn’t necessarily mean that that student who’s been accused is going to be suspended or dismissed from school.”

This reporter’s concerns about the conduct process were directed to Johnson, Dean of Students Yolanda Taylor and Assistant Dean of Students Larry Putman.

Throughout the meeting, administrators emphasized that the school is well-educated on Title IX and is staying current as new requirements come out of the Office of Civil Rights.

Photo credit Sara Douglas

Jasmine Antwine, President of the Association of Black Collegians, directs vigil attendees to the first presentation area at the event.

variety

the Collegian : 8

! k r a B

15 September 2014

Graphic by Eli Brinkman / Collegian

Above is an artist’s rendering of what the U would look like if it made proper use of trees in its landscaping. Look at all those beautiful matching facades. Look at that natural-looking and (this is important) shaded greenspace.

Lines of trees sap life from west branch of campus

Philbrook celebrates pop

Photo/Graphics Editor Sarah Power gives a little background information about the Philbrook’s latest exhibit, Fever & Flash: Pop in the 1970s.

Yesterday the Philbrook Downtown opened its latest show, “Fever & Flash: Pop in the 1970s.” Curated by Lauren Ross, the show covers themes of patriotism, unrest, glamor, and fame.

In addition to silkscreens, paintings and sculptures, The Philbrook was given a permanent collection of Polaroid photographs from The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts.

Some of the featured artists include Andy Warhol, Robert Indiana, Ed Ruscha and Robert Rauschenberg.

The show will be open until March 15, 2014. TU students receive free admission with their student ID.

Sara Douglas / Collegian

In his first of two alarmingly cogent articles this week, amateur landscape architecture critic Kyle Walker describes a better way to organize foliage on the Old U. Kyle presents a second alarmingly cogent article on page 10.

From the standpoint of consistency, the University of Tulsa has it made: matching herringbone walkways lead students and visitors through rows of matching trees to matching sandstone buildings (as long as we don’t take Kendall Hall, the rebellious theater building, into account).

In most respects, TU’s campus is remarkably coherent. It’s difficult to find one feature that doesn’t complement or imitate another. Why, then, do I find the campus so unsatisfying?

I’m not talking about events, social life or academics. I’m talking aesthetic appeal.

I’m talking organization of architectural and landscape elements in space. And here there is one feature of TU’s landscape which has been a touch misused: Trees.

TU flora are known for one particular oddity: they are all strangely expensive, clone varieties sold by a company based in South Carolina. But tree-based regularities go further than that at TU, and are particularly in evidence around the academic quad, the Old U, “Dietler Commons,” or whatever University Relations has decided to call it today.

A primer for those of you unfamiliar with campus or just not paying attention. The Old U is a rectangle with its long dimension on an east-west axis. On the west it is bounded by Delaware Ave. The north and south sides are marked by brick walkways lined with trees. Past the walkways lie assorted residential and academic buildings. In the dominant position on the east side, with a greater elevation and commanding impressive views of the U and downtown Tulsa, is McFarlin Library.

So what’s wrong with the trees on the Old U? Put quite simply, they get in the way.

1. Hide and Seek.

When your drunk roommate decides it will be cute to play hide and seek and then falls asleep wherever the fuck they hid, how bad of a roommate are you if you just leave them…?

2. Tag. This game typically starts when a guy thinks stealing your shoes, phone, etc. and running away with them is a good way to flirt.

While not required, violent acts are encouraged

Features Editor Morgan Krueger shares her take on the top ten games to play while sloppy drunk on the U at midnight.

The avenue (in landscaping, a straight road with trees or large shrubs along each side) has a long and glorious tradition. It is usually most effective in one of two instances.

Firstly, it can be used to emphasize landscape elements by directing the eye or the casual stroller to points of climax: fountains, sculptural arrangements, elaborate facades, etc. This is the role traditionally assigned to the avenue in baroque garden planning. The examples which come immediately to mind can be found in the gardens of Vienna’s Schloss Schönbrunn.

The second successful sort of tree-lined avenue is exemplified by the Hauptallee in Vienna’s Prater, Berlin’s Straße des 17. Juni, and Paris’s Champs-Élysées (including its logical extension down the Allée Centrale

The U is not much longer than it is wide; its dominant feature is McFarlin and not the directionality of the avenues; the avenues simply end with no real sense of arrival.

The Old U’s avenues are not oppressively contained enough to make them feel like Baroque garden avenues, but neither is the overall space one of grand, processional movement.

The result is confusion. The trees direct strollers, but to no obvious destination. They screen the avenue from the open grassy square in the center and from the horseshoe of buildings which give the U its shape. But they fail to compensate for the resulting incoherence.

Finally, by blocking any view of the actual structures, they rob the U’s architecture of its major aesthetic bid: sandstone unifor-

“The U would feel much different if we could take in a diverse architectural landscape” of the Jardin des Tuileries). It is worth noting here that these are essentially closeted processional spaces, and in two cases appropriately accompanied by memorials to Prussian and French military victories.

Each of these paradigmatic uses of the avenue is marked by a dominant feature.

In the first it is the presence of climactic elements at the terminus of the walkway, a sense of arrival. In the other it is an overwhelming sense of direction: one dimension grossly predominates over the others. In the first, the trees provide direction. In the second, they screen the already directional space of the processional avenue from the other spaces around it.

The problem with the trees on the Old U is that they do each of these things just well enough to make a nuisance of themselves in a space which fits neither of the two use cases.

when the tagger catches the thief.

3. Cuddling. While not officially recognized by the international gaming community, this enjoyable pastime makes any drunk person happy. (Note: not recommended during the winter months, as extreme frostbite or even death may occur.

Though “Death by Cuddling on the U” would make an excellent tombstone inscription.)

4. Slender man. Items required: A really tall friend, a creepy suit and something to hide behind. Instructions: Wait for an unsuspecting freshman to walk by, then frighten. Extra points if they scream, run away or pee themselves.

5. Attempt to choreograph a dance with your equally drunk friends. This game is doubly enjoyable if you take a video of the dance to watch when sober. Bonus points if it goes viral on YouTube.

6. Star gazing. This game is perfect for every drunk, especially those too dizzy

mity paired with architectural variations.

They rob us of any opportunity to view the buildings from afar, as an ensemble. The U would feel much different if, standing on the McFarlin Library steps, we could take in a diverse architectural landscape instead of the psuedo-rational arboretum which lamely greets us now.

The buildings of the Old U want to show themselves off, but TU’s clone tree army is busy putting spindly censor bars over every interesting feature.

Where do the trees belong, then? In natural clusters on the U. Not many, one or two stands would suffice. This has the added bonus of providing shaded grassy areas (ahem, TU...). Let’s make the old U a more interesting U. Let’s own those facades.

to walk.

Lay back and examine the universe.

Yes, that constellation looks exactly like your back-stabbing ex who cheated on you. And yes, calling them right now is a great idea.

7. Instagram blurry photos with captions that don’t make sense to anyone. Including you.

8. Hold a sing-along. Gather your vocally talented friends to serenade the moon, your significant other or campus security. (Note: If drunkenly serenading campus security, bring running shoes so you can make a quick escape if your encore doesn’t receive quite the warm reception you were hoping for.)

9. Eat Taco Bell. Come on, it’s right across the street, and we both know it sounds delicious right now. The game part is whether you’ll hate yourself in the morning.

10. Sneak into a Mayo Village apartment party. If they’ve got people lined up out the door, there’s no way they’ll notice one or two (or a dozen) extra guests.

variety

15 September 2014

the Collegian : 9

Tulsa hangouts you may not know about Whether you’re looking for a good date spot, tired of studying in your room or just trying to find some peace and quite, student writer Bridget Wunsch has some sweet Tulsa locations you may want to check out.

1. The Coffee House on Cherry Street This coffee shop is the dream destination for a college student in need of a study break. Only two miles away from campus, you can bike or walk there if the weather permits.

Not only can you enjoy its hip and cozy atmosphere, but you can also get your caffeine fix while grabbing a bite of their delicious banana pancakes.

Since it’s hooked up with free Wi-Fi, you can browse the Internet while sitting outside on the patio, or you can opt to stay in the air conditioning and cuddle up in one of their comfy chairs.

2. Circle Cinema If you’re tired of doing the same things every time you hang out with friends, you should check out Circle Cinema for a change of pace. It is an art gallery and a movie theatre all rolled into one.

The movies they show aren’t the run-of-the-mill blockbusters that you can find anywhere. They show documentaries, independent films, and even films made by students.

So forget about having yet another Harry Potter marathon. Broaden

your mind and check out one of the films here!

3. Bayless Plaza There are a number of reasons why you should make your next study session at Bayless Plaza. During the day it’s usually pretty quiet,

booth while eating a grilled cheese and a shake.

It’s fairly casual so if you go out with your friends, you don’t need to worry about being too quiet or polite. You can just let loose and enjoy the atmosphere.

6. The Library You might be thinking that the library seems like a fairly obvious choice, but there are so many great things that the library has to offer that it deserves to be mentioned.

There is the patio outside where you can study with your friends at

“So forget about having yet another Harry Potter marathon. Broaden your mind and check out one of the films at the Circle Cinema” and you can sit on the benches under the bell and enjoy the fresh air.

Instead of sitting inside your dimly lit dorm room or the library, you can surround yourself with trees, chirping birds and crisp fall weather.

Plus it’s a perfect reminder to keep up with your classes so that you can eventually ring the bell after the last final of your senior year.

4. Cosmo Café Cosmo Café is the perfect mix of a cute café and nice restaurant. You can go here for date night and order some decadent desserts while enjoying the cool décor and the music selection, which tends to be pretty good.

If you are more in the mood for a study session, you can bring all of your books and sprawl out in a

Avery knelt on the cracked pleather kneeler, trying to pray in front of her mother’s casket, but she was too angry.

With a hard sigh she sprang up and approached her two sisters, Hannah, who was feeding her baby a bottle, and Rachel, the tomboy, sitting backwards in a chair. Avery pulled out the bent postcard and dropped it on the coffee table between them.

“Look what Dad sent us,” Avery said.

Both took a moment to read it, then looked up toward Avery.

“He was married to her for 25 years and he can’t come to her fucking funeral. I don’t give a shit if you got divorced or not.”

“Avery!” scolded Hannah and covered her newborn’s ears.

Avery grumbled an apology and then continued, “There is no way Andrew and I are going to Florida.”

This time Rachel chimed in. “I know you’re angry with Dad for not coming to your wedding but that was six months ago, and he’s reaching out to us now. I think we should give him a chance.”

5. Woodward Park Parks in general are great places to go because they offer something for everyone. This park stands out though because of the incredible landscaping and layout.

You can go on a run through the trees and flowers and across the picturesque bridge. Or you can play frisbee or soccer in the open grass. You don’t have to worry about being too loud, and you can just soak up the sun.

If you’re feeling less active, there are also benches situated throughout where you can have a picnic or study in the open air and, not to mention, the array of gardens you can check out. If you like parks at all, you will definitely enjoy Woodward.

one of the tables or just eat lunch while basking in the sun and enjoying the great view of downtown Tulsa. Watching the sunset from there is truly magical.

But if you want a more scholarly environment, you should go inside and check out the quiet rooms where you can study your heart out with no distractions. While this might not seem like the most exciting place to study, there is also a coffee shop right in the library where you can get your caffeine fix and perk up.

time, and it actually has a nice vibe that makes you feel like it is meant for performances and not just basketball games. Beck, Broken Bells and many others will be performing there in the next couple of months.

It is also in the Brady Arts District, so if you’re looking to kill some time before or after a performance, there are a ton of other places to check out.

8. Mod’s Coffee and Crepes So this location might be a bit of a drive from campus, but it is totally worth it. Mod’s is different than many of the cafes close by, mainly because of their delicious crepes.

It has a great location downtown, and there is usually enough parking, so you don’t have to walk too far.

Their menu has sweets varying from delicious stracciatella gelato to nutella banana crepes. If you’re not in the mood for sweets, they have savory crepes as well and even soups and salads. Mod’s is pretty casual and you can enjoy the British theme while you enjoy your treats.

We Jacked Up

Student Writer Ryan 7. Brady Theater Starkweather addresses While there are several great musi- inaccuracies in the Sept. 8 cal venues in Tulsa, Brady Theater review of Baja Jacks. is one of the best. It is a smaller venue where you don’t feel like you are going to get completely trampled by a sea of people.

Great bands come here all the

Short Fiction by Adam Lux Rachel always knew how to make Avery cry. She snatched up the card and stormed to the kitchenette and cried over a cup of coffee. She read and re-read the card and after the fifth time she stared at the last line. “P.S. This postcard reminded me of the 3 of you.” She flipped over the card and smiled through tears at the three silly little girls having a pillow fight on their parents’ bed.

The Collegian is currently looking for poets, artists and short fiction writers. If you’d like to see your work featured here, contact variety editor Abigail LaBounty at akl269@utulsa.edu.

In my previous review of Baja Jack’s I made a statement about the quality of the ingredients used by the restaurant. This statement was meant as a personal opinion, and not as an accusation of the restaurant. I apologize for my oversight.

Contrary to my assumption, Baja Jack’s dishes are prepared with fresh ingredients every day, and to an impressive degree.

After meeting with the owner Jack Coleman and touring his kitchen, it was not only clear that the ingredients are all fresh, but that he is truly passionate about maintaining the quality of the food his restaurants serve. Walking into the kitchen to see a chef breading fish for the day and making guacamole was a delightful and refreshing experience.

The shelves are lined with spices and the walk-in fridge is full of crisp lettuce and other produce.

The only freezer was about one cubic foot and used to store corn, because Coleman believes in the importance of freshness so much that he refuses to use canned corn. The standard in the kitchen is something you don’t see everyday. Coleman’s commitment to exemplifying the genre of Fresh Mex shows a serious passion for quality.

Local street art calls for peace

Staff Photographer Sara Douglas discovered an art installation on Frankfurt St. between 2nd & 3rd. The entire installation reads “Peace it together” and features puzzle pieces with quotes such as “1 chance, voice, life.”

Commentary

the Collegian : 10

15 September 2014

We want ACAC! We want ACAC! In this issue, Kyle Walker presents two surprisingly cogent arguments about seemingly trivial concerns. In his second such argument, he takes on the mysterious power responsible for renaming ACAC, and insists on calling it “ACAC,” and not whatever it is they want him to call it. For his first such argument, see page 8. Editor’s note: We can’t tell if Kyle is serious here or not.

For some years now the American university has been in a state of flux. In the short space of fifty years, universities have gone from charging low or zero tuition (at least at public schools) to their current prices; from hiring mostly full-time, tenure-track faculty to hiring mostly adjuncts; and from being run mostly by faculty to being run almost entirely by professional administrators.

For this last point compare the aggregate population changes for key university interest groups.

From 1975 to 2005 the number of faculty grew by 51 percent.

For administrators the number is 85 percent. And for other professional staff (i.e. neither teachers nor researchers, but the support structure of the administrative arm of the university) it’s 240 percent.

By the way, administrators and professional staffers now outnumber faculty.

In the same time period student enrollment grew by 56 percent.

The American university now serves at the whim of the administration; it does not serve the students. Which brings me to my point: whose purposes are served in renaming campus features by fiat?

Over the summer, I learned that ACAC would no longer be called “ACAC.” It is now only to be called “The Student Union.” Especially in front of prospective students whose timid wallets might be frightened away by the lack of a suitably named meeting place.

Now, why does this bother me so much? Why does this bother me at all? Because I was under the impression that a university is a

collection of students and scholars living and working with each other in a culture that is of their own making. In this world, members of the university organically develop their own meanings which are then passed along to be modified by the next generation of scholars.

But in the real world of American higher education, the university is a cash cow which must be manipulated from above in order to fit the ideal profile of the perfect American university for the perfect American middle-class student. And since universities have extremely high turnover rates, and therefore short institutional memories, this is quite easily accomplished. Tear down a sign. Put up a new one. Wait four years. Wash, rinse, repeat.

What’s sad about this is that it robs the university of something really valuable. A university is a remarkable cultural laboratory precisely because of its short institutional memory. It is fragile and adaptive. When changes are wrought from above they succeed in virtue of this fragility but fail because they destroy (or attempt to destroy) existent adaptations.

There is a reason the “Allen Chapman Activity Center” is called ACAC. And there’s a reason “Helmerich Hall” is sometimes called Helm, and “Keplinger Hall” is almost universally referred to as Kep. While I’m at it, “Dietler Commons” is intelligently called the Old U, and “Chapman Commons” the New U. These names arise organically out of familiarity with a place.

They tie people to the campus and to each other by constituting

Sarah Power/Collegian a code, much in the same way that nicknames are used amongst friends.

A university which introduces this sort of rupture into the campus code is shooting itself in the foot, willfully introducing a communication difficulty and annihilating the complex of meanings associated with the now-displaced signifier.

TU (and all universities that I’ve

ever visited) make a big song and dance out of their special, unique culture. And with that in mind I’m going to conclude with a few questions: How special and unique is our campus culture if we’re doing our very best to appeal to every prospective student, especially those who worry about things like the presence or absence of a so-called “Student Union”?

If the university really wanted a special and unique culture would it spend time and energy obstructing the natural development of that culture?

And finally, how much more interesting would campus culture be if we had to occasionally explain to a curious onlooker why everyone used “Twin South” to refer to a building clearly labeled “Fisher”?

T-Who? TU should secure national reputation Based on its academic achievements and student population, TU should be much better known throughout the country than it currently is; Nikki Hager believes the school needs to work on recruiting and publishing more and in a variety of areas.

It’s that time of year again when the U.S. News and World Report releases its annual “Best Colleges” rankings. TU ranked 88, a performance similar to previous years.

Working at a think tank based in Washington DC this summer, I talked a lot about my academic background and university.

“So TU is a big state school right?” an acquaintance asked while we sat waiting for a research presentation to begin.

“Where’s Tulsa?” questioned a peer at a bar.

“The University of Tulsa, thats a part of OU, right?” a coworker asked.

These anecdotal scenarios exemplify just how familiar the people I encountered on the East Coast are with our school: no one knows a damn thing about TU.

In fact, last year TU ranked as one of the most “overachieving schools,” according to the US News and World Report. Initially, overachieving sounds like a good thing. The TU administration treated it as such.

“This report substantiates what those of us have known for some time: That the University of Tulsa is an overachiever,” stated Provost Roger Blais when the report was released.

But what this ranking really means is that TU’s “undergraduate reputation among its academic peers has not kept pace with what it has achieved in the underlying academic indicators,” the report said.

Last year TU ranked 86 in the official rankings, but our “academic peer assessment rank” was 152.

That’s 66 ranks behind what our academics indicated. Basically, our reputation sucks.

That said, I’m not all that worried about some arbitrary ranking attempting to quantify a college’s quality. However, such a discrepancy is consistent with my experiences in DC. When I start applying for jobs back in DC later this year, I am fearful that future employers won’t be familiar with TU, lumping it to-

gether with OU or, worse, into that amorphous heap of schools in flyover country they’ve never heard of.

There is nothing more terrifying than graduating from college with no job prospects.

TU needs to do more to improve its reputation so we will no longer be an “overachieving” school.

First, we should recruit more from the coasts. There’s a lot of reasons to love TU—one of the smallest Division I football teams, as well as other well-performing sports, small class sizes, great faculty and generous scholarships.

Attracting students from the coasts would not only increase diversity at TU but also cause prospective students and parents to stop and consider at TU. When you compare TU to other private universities on the East Coast, we can hold our own.

Second, TU should establish stronger academic programs and publish more research. Amongst certain fields, for example petroleum engineering, TU is wellknown. We should strengthen other academic programs and publish in related academic journals.

Gaining respect from peers will, again, bring TU into the conversation.

Sara Douglas/Collegian

A lovely pair of deer pause to stare at the photographer. The deer live on Turkey Mountain, with other flora and fauna native to Tulsa.

Last, we should send more students to conferences across the country. Interacting with students from other universities puts TU’s name out there and establishes that we have strong enough programs to warrant making the trek to a conference.

Once TU’s name gets out there, it’s not hard to demonstrate that it is a wonderful school. My peers in

DC seemed pleasantly surprised with TU’s accomplishments once I detailed them. People were generally impressed when I explained that Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor was going to visit campus, that 1 in 10 students are nationalmerit scholars and campus constantly strives to make improvements.

Olivia Blankenship thinks building a mall near Turkey Mountain would detract from the park’s natural appeal.

located north of the Tulsa Hills area near U.S. 75 and 61st street.

The site has already been leased, though construction has yet to begin. River Parks authority has reported that the project would shut down some commonly used trails.

Many citizens have expressed concern over the suspected decline of Turkey Mountain once construction begins. Development of supporting retail and commercial properties along 61st street and a loss of wildlife habitat are just a few of those concerns.

Although an outlet mall would greatly benefit the city of Tulsa, anywhere near Turkey Mountain is the wrong place for it. The mall will no doubt bring in lots of extra foot traffic to the area, clogging up parking for those wanting to make use of the trails. Furthermore most of Turkey Mountain’s appeal will be stripped away with extra noise and pollution, as well as the loss of its wildlife population.

Fortunately, the George Kaiser Family Foundation has purchased much of the west portion of Turkey Mountain and made the commitment to allow no commercial development. This ensures that the majority of Turkey Mountain’s natural beauty will be preserved as the recreational urban wilderness that Tulsans have come to know and love.

Turkey Mountain has been around for quite a while. It helps make Tulsa unique and greatly adds to the quality of life of the people who live here.

Turkey Mountain too cool for mall

Turkey Mountain is Tulsa’s only urban wilderness area, located in West Tulsa on 61st street and Elwood. It is a premier place in Tulsa where anyone can come to run, bike, hike, camp and explore from dawn til dusk. It contains several trails and beautiful views of the Arkansas River.

Though it’s within the city limits, it can serve as an escape from city life. Turkey Mountain has always been a Tulsa treasure, regularly hosting multiple events throughout the year. According to their website, visits to the area have increased by approximately 1000 percent in the last ten years.

However, Turkey Mountain may experience serious decline in the near future as Simon Outlet Malls has purchased 50 acres of land near Turkey Mountain to build an 800,000-square-foot outlet mall. This land is privately owned, and therefore the city of Tulsa has no control over what happens to it.

Now, the issue is not whether or not Tulsa should have a new outlet mall. The mall would greatly benefit Tulsa. But the outlet mall should not interfere with the seclusion of Turkey Mountain and its trails.

The proposed mall would be

barricade

15 September 2014

the Collegian: 11

But what about freedom?

An independent Scottish government would be more in tune with the needs of the Scottish people and able to sustain itself economically.

Morgan Krueger Features Editor Graphic by Elias Brinkman

Scotland should not secede from the United Kingdom If Scotland votes to leave the UK, it will hurt both itself and the world at large.

Brennen VanderVeen Staff Writer

On Thursday Sept. 18, Scots will have the chance to vote in a referendum that could result in an independent Scotland for the first time since the Acts of Union in 1707.

The union was not a result of conquest or colonization. Indeed, the British flag is a cross between the flag of Scotland and other constituent countries. England and Scotland, already sharing a queen,

this oil would have been “£11.5 billion in 2008–09 but only £5.5 billion in 2012–13.” Furthermore, the Scottish National Party brags about its green energy initiatives.

Assuming they are successful in making green energy more economical, wouldn’t that only serve to make oil less in demand and therefore less valuable?

It isn’t even clear what currency an independent Scotland would use. Supporters say it would continue to use the pound sterling. Unfortunately for them, the national government has stated that this is very unlikely to happen. Greece has proved the risk of a monetary

“Scotland would do well to remember that it was in part the awful state of Scottish finances that led to the United Kingdom of Great Britain in the first place” united voluntarily. Scotland would do well to remember that it was in part the awful state of Scottish finances that led to the formation of United Kingdom of Great Britain in the first place.

Scottish nationalists claim that an independent Scotland will be a better and more prosperous Scotland. There are reasons to doubt this claim. England has a stronger economy than Scotland. An independent Scotland could no longer rely on funds from Westminster to support its generous welfare state that spends about £1,300 more per person more than the rest of the UK. To this, the Scottish nationalists claim that North Sea oil will allow them to support such a welfare state. This assumes that the oil there will be consistently of high value for some time. According to The Economist, the revenue from

union without a political one, and the English are in no hurry to become Scotland’s Germany.

Therefore, Scotland has basically four options. It can create its own currency, which poses a huge risk to the economy should it not be able to support its welfare state. Secondly, it could possibly keep the pound if it agrees to strict oversight from the country it’s trying to leave. Thirdly, it could also continue to use the pound in a way similar to the way countries like Panama use the US dollar, i.e., without formal agreement. The problem with these last two possibilities is that it leaves Scotland under some degree of political and financial control from a country in which it no longer has any influence.

Lastly, even if it’s able to join the Eurozone, there will still be oversight from other countries.

That leaves Scotland with essen-

tially either the option of greater risk or less financial independence than it has now.

There is still a possibility that the United Kingdom will leave the European Union; Scotland does not want this. While it’s true that an independent Scotland would be secure in its EU membership, Scotland would still have less diplomatic clout. Scotland is a small country in terms of population.

It has fewer than five and a half million residents, which is less than the population of Wisconsin. Compare that to the populations of the largest countries in the EU: Germany, 80 million; France, 66 million; United Kingdom (no Scotland), 58 million.

Even countries like Bulgaria, Denmark and Slovakia would have higher populations. Scotland would not be among the leaders of the European Union as the UK is.

Also, a Scotland independent from the UK would not have a permanent seat on the UN Security Council or a place in the G8.

An independent Scotland would also have negative implications for the United States and for the world. The United Kingdom would be less powerful without it since it would lose prestige and also probably some military capability. As America’s greatest ally and a country that stands for free trade, human rights and international norms, this is not a good thing.

The United States and NATO need a strong UK given a neoimperialist Russia and volatile Middle East. All of this makes the cost of independence high. Scotland already has its own parliament, which is being offered more power in order to keep it in the British union, making gains from independence even smaller. Given this, Scots should ask themselves on Thursday, “Is it really worth leaving a union that has proved stable and peaceful, an exception in Europe, for the last 307 years?”

Photo courtesy TrekNature

Whether Scotland’s countryside influences the outcome of the vote or not, it famously picturesque and definitely fun to look at.

The time draws near for the Scots to decide: will they go their own way or stick with the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland?

Original polls showed the majority of Scottish citizens wanting to stay with the union. However, as the voting deadline of Sept.

18 draws closer, there has been a surge of people who think Scotland should be an independent country, as polled by the Telegraph.

A poll conducted by YouGov, a market research firm, showed a first ever lead for a “yes” to independence. Though the poll came in at a tight 51 percent to 49 percent, according to the Guardian, it has given hope to many Scots who want Scotland to be its own, sovereign country.

The president of YouGov, Peter Kellner, sees the vote for Scottish independence as having a decent chance of success.

According to the Telegraph, Kellner said, “A close finish looks likely, and a ‘yes’ victory is now a real possibility.”

separated from the rest of the UK. The North Sea oil is being looked at as a possible source of revenue for Scotland. It is said to have up to forty years worth of oil revenue As an independent country, Scotland would not have to share its oil money.

It should be noted that there have been concerns that estimations for how much oil remains in the North Sea—and how costly it would be to drill it—are overly hopeful.

Yet even without the North Sea oil, senior director of European sovereign ratings, Frank Gill, reasons that Scotland won’t be economically crippled by the separation.

“Even if you exclude North Sea oil you are looking at a per capital GDP of $36,000 (£21,000), so it is a wealthy economy,” Gill has been quoted as saying.

Gavin McCrone, who wrote a book on the pros and cons of Scottish independence, was quoted by the Guardian as saying, “Scotland could survive but it would be tough in the early year.”

Still, the Scottish aren’t a people to be frightened by hardship.

Especially in light of the possible long term benefits.

The fact remains that many laws and decisions are made in and designed for England. For instance, pensioners in Scotland and England receive the same winter al-

“the Scottish people would have greater autonomy and control over their own resources, which some complain have been used for England’s benefit over Scotland’s in the past” John Swinney, the Cabinet Secretary for Finance, Employment and Sustainable Growth in the Scottish Government, made a concise case for voting yes. “I think we will make a better job of running the country ourselves rather than having decisions made by the UK government,” as quoted by the Guardian Indeed, the Scottish people would have greater autonomy and control over their own resources, which some complain have been used for England’s benefit over Scotland’s in the past.

As of July 14, polls taken by What Scotlant Thinks showed 61 percent of English and Welsh citizens opposed Scottish independence, while 21 percent supported Scottish independence. When only polling English citizens, 31 percent thought Scotland should be an independent country, while 52 percent disagreed.

Some Scots worry about the economic results of the vote passing. While there are conflicting reports, the Scottish government has estimated that its residents would be €1000 better off each year if Scotland becomes independent. It was also estimated that Scotland’s deficit would be smaller if they

lowance. This law fails to take into consideration the colder, harsher climate those in Scotland endure.

Scotland’s independence could even be considered a step towards a more equitable democracy. In comparison with the English system, the Scottish system does not reserve places for church members. The English House of Lords has 26 seats set aside for bishops.

The Scottish Parliament also appoints members with a proportional electoral system unlike the English Parliament .

There is even the possibility of Scotland moving towards a more Nordic political model, and taking a step away from England’s system. Scotland politically and traditionally has more similarities to Nordic countries than with England. Moving towards a Nordic model could be a better fit for the Scottish people.

Another consideration, small yet important, is that Scotland would no longer have to house the UK’s stock of nuclear missiles. If they became their own country, the UK would have until 2020 to remove the missiles. This is an issue shown to be important to many Scottish citizens, as the Scottish National Party is firmly anti-nuclear.

the

15 September 2014

The State-Run Media

State-Run media Not one meownce of mercy.

Incomplete horoscope of the week

Graphic by Madeline Woods

Jazmin Price provides harrowing and highly specific predictions regarding your future. Step forward and greet your doom, Virgo.

Virgo (August 23–September 22) Virgos may be virtuous, but even the greatest mess up sometimes. So don’t think you can skip that super slow class next week where you start making zzz’s the moment the professor starts talking. You will miss a quiz, never graduate, own 12 cats that hate you, work at KFC and tragically break your last hip when you slide in spilled oil in the parking lot the day before your 52nd birthday.

DANGER: Kitty Cats gone BAD Campus fears feral cats might grow reckless after a mysterious disappearance cuts off an easy food source Ryan Starkweather Distrustful of felines

Have you ever noticed the elderly couple that drives around in a white van putting out cat food around campus? These vigilant anonymous seniors have been steadily increasing the population of feral cats for over fifteen years by providing them with an easy and reliable food source, and their sudden mysterious absence has raised alarms among university ecosystem experts.

Chief of Campus Feline Maintenance Percival Chartreux claims that “without the unnamed elderly couple feeding the feral cats the pressure and competition among the population for food will lead to a number of concerning behaviors. These are hungry, unsocial, angry cats. They are vicious predators not to be trifled with.”

Chartreux claims that the effects on the population of cats will be dangerously unpredictable, and may include an increased audacity coupled with an abandonment of all fear.

With such a large population on campus, the university has been put on Calico Alert, warning students not to wear exposing clothing. An unconfirmed case of attack was documented just days after the food supply abruptly ended.

The victim, who wishes to remain anonymous, can be seen walking around campus with very noticeable scratch marks all over their face.

The official statement of the university is that there is no real danger to students, but with raised security and the implementation of laser pointer crowd control technology, safety has been questioned by the student body. We advise everyone to avoid wearing any clothing with dangling fabric, and to avoid pescatarian diet options.

Remain vigilant, and be on the lookout for bushy tails.

Graphic by Elias Brinkman

TU adopts new methods of adorable stress relief Following the popularity of Goldie, TU decides to experiment with unprecidented levels of cuteness, cuddliness Ryan Starkweather Loves baby animals

In anticipation for an unprecedented amount of stress predicted for the next testing period, the ad-

ministration of the university has announced plans to work with experts to develop new cute distractions to lower stress among the student body.

The detailed plan aims to raise the effectiveness of current adorable features while implementing novel features and concepts as well. Students may see a rise in floral pattern wallpapers and motivational kitten posters following the plan’s approval, as well

as significantly lighter shades of paint. The quaint little painted mushroom feature outside of John Mabee Hall will receive a renovation, adding a family elves to the feature and increasing the level of daintiness by 34% and increasing the appeal of attending the university to prospective Icelandic students.

In addition to cosmetic changes, the university has agreed to integrate the classes of a dog training

school into its current curriculum.

The goal is to allow the university’s students to be around adorable puppies but maintain the rigorous training of the dogs. Such additions and modifications that can be expected are a combination business orientation - basic commands for dogs course offered to both the dogs and students in tandem.

Experts predict that this symbiotic relationship will reduce stress and exponentially increase productiv-

ity and effectiveness of classes.

During an official statement given by the new dean of canine education, Dogtor Germaine Shépard, said that “this revolutionary plan to combine canine and student classes will not only reduce stress, it will inspire students to build professional relationships with their energetic furry peers.” Appropriate increases in janitorial staff will follow.

Student athlete’s conduct “better than expected” Generic University assures the world that nothing is wrong after a student athlete pillages and plunders.

Fraser Kastner Has an axe to grind

A student athlete at Generic University, a well respected Midwestern College, went on a staggering, hours-long rampage last Saturday that destroyed much of the city.

“I’ve been stealing milk money and beating up small children since high school,” said Richard “Dick”

Biff, standing on a hill overseeing the destruction he had caused.

“But ever since I joined the team I’ve been able to get away with much worse stuff.”

Dick, who spent his Saturday night robbing, committing various forms of assault and destroying century-old buildings, is a fifth year Organizational Studies major and has been a member of his college’s basketball team since he was a freshman.

“Do you have any idea the sorts of things they let us get away with? I can do the worst things you can think of and the admin-

istration will just sweep it under the rug,” added Dick as he kicked a box of kittens down the side of a hill. “Those fucks at the college paper have to ask nicely just to talk to me.”

University administration barely responded to repeated requests for interviews. Eventually, however, we were able to sit down with an administrator who spoke under the condition of anonymity.

“Basically, we’ve split the student body into two groups,” said the administrator. “In one group, we have the general student body.

In the other, we have students

who, through their extracurricular activities, bring in millions of dollars in revenue for the university.

We are willing to let basically anything happen to the former group if it means we can keep making money. Hell, I’d sell my own children to the athletic department if it meant more money from the donors.”

Recently leaked minutes from an administrative meeting about the rampage seem to corroborate this claim. The minutes include claims that “burning down an orphanage isn’t even that bad if most of the orphans get out” and that

The Collegian is the independent student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law in its programs, services, aids, or benefits.

Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, 918-631-2616. Requests for accommodation of disabilities may be addressed to the University’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Taylor, 918-631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpreter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accommodations.

Advertising Policy: Advertising appearing in this publication does not imply approval or endorsement by the University of Tulsa or The Collegian for the products or services advertised. For advertising information, email The Collegian at collegian@utulsa.edu or elizabeth-cohen@utulsa.edu. The deadline for advertising is 12 p.m. on the Friday prior to the publication. Editing Policy: The Collegian reserves the right to edit all copy submitted by all writers. This editing may take place in many forms, including grammar corrections, changes in paragraph structure or even the addition or removal of sections of content. Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opinions of the entire Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers. Letter Policy: Letters to the editor must be less than 500 words. While we do not require it, letters sent via e-mail to the Collegian are encouraged. Under no circumstances will anonymous letters be published. The name of the person submitting the letter must be published with the letter. We reserve the right to edit or reject all letters. The deadline for letters is 5 p.m. on the Saturday prior to publication.

“all those nursing home residents were probably asking to be beaten senseless. After all, they let him in.

And it’s not like they had that long anyway.”

“You see this?” said Dick, holding up his pinky. “The administration is wrapped around this. I mean, even if the shit hits the fan, the University will probably get sued. I’m untouchable.”

Dick then proceeded to throw a trashcan through the front window of a liquor store. This reporter fled the scene before he emerged from the wreckage.

editor-in-chief—Kyle Walker managing editor—Conor Fellin news editor—Nikki Hager photo & graphics editor—Sarah Power features editor—Morgan Krueger variety editor—Abigail LaBounty commentary editor—Giselle Willis satire editor—Fraser Kastner copy editor—Will Boogert, Amanda Hagedorn business & advertising manager—Jesse Keipp distribution manager—Witt Womack arbitrary artist of the week—Elias Brinkman

! ! ! ing

h c cha

Sept. 5 1:40 a.m.

Officers responded to a noise complaint at a Lorton Village apartment. Upon arrival, Officers determined the roommates had been in a loud argument. One roommate agreed to stay with a friend for the night to avoid further confrontation.

9:10 p.m.

A fan, not affiliated with TU, became highly intoxicated while attending a soccer match at the Soccer/Track Stadium and was transported to a local hospital by EMSA.

Caught Reading the Collegian Math major Carter Scarbrough was caught reading The Collegian in the Student Union. Carter received a $15 gift card.

Sept. 6 12:40 a.m.

A student reported being assaulted by 2 unknown males while walking through Mayo Village.

The student reported one suspect grabbed the student’s hands while the other ripped their head covering off. The student was able to strike the suspect holding them

and ran from the area before contacting Security. Officers were unable to locate the suspects and the student did not wish to file a report with Tulsa Police. The suspects were described as both being in their late ‘teens to early 20’s. One suspect was described as a white male wearing blue/white polo with jean shorts. The 2nd suspect was described as a black male wearing a long-sleeve green shirt.

2:35 p.m.

A University-owned vehicle’s mirror was damaged by a tailgating fan as the vehicle attempted to leave the tailgate area at 8th St. & Gary Ave. The fan struck the mirror after being startled by the vehicle honking it’s horn near them.

The employee driving the van was attempting to clear the street of pedestrians.

Sept. 7 1:15 a.m.

Officers responded to a disturbance at the Kappa Alpha fraternity. Upon arrival, Officers observed an intoxicated, distraught student.

The student was identified as not of legal age to consume alcohol.

Officers determined the student had run through a section of fence at a neighboring fraternity house

causing a minor injury to their head. EMSA paramedics treated the student on scene but did not transport. Housing officials were notified and the student was left in the care of a friend for the night.

1:40 p.m.

Lost & Found property was turned in from McFarlin Library. The property included a water bottle, iPhone USB cord and an umbrella.

The property was impounded at Campus Security for safekeeping.

Sept. 8 11:20 a.m.

Officers responded to a fire alarm at the Kappa Delta sorority. Upon arrival, Officers determined a portable cooking burner got too hot and activated a smoke detector. There were no signs of fire or damage and the alarm was reset.

Sept. 11 8:55 a.m.

Officers responded to a vehicle accident between an employee in a golf cart and a student on a bicycle. The student, riding with a cup of coffee in their hand, could not avoid the golf cart the employee was driving at a low speed. The student suffered a minor scrape on their knee and there was no damage to the golf cart or bicycle.

yoga festival

Photo credit Sarah Power

Last weekend, Tulsa hosted the fourth annual I AM Yoga Festival in Centennial Park.

The festival included over 20 yoga classes, workshops, live music, art and food.

The directors of the festival envisioned an event that brings together the Tulsa community and to create a “love revolution”. SALT yoga studio, located in Utica Square, among others was featured.

Photo credit Liz Coffman, SALT yoga instructor featured left.

GOLDIE WANTS YOU

Email our Business Manager, Jesse Keipp at jesse-keipp@utulsa.edu or collegian@utulsa.edu

TO VOTE! Vote for your Student Association Senate officers

9.17.2014 Starting at 9:00 am, Ends 9.18.2014 at 9:00 pm Check your email from SA to vote online

the

15 September 2014

The State-Run Media

St te-Run media .

HOLY MASTHEAD BATMAN!!!

Graphic by Elias Brinkman

Professor hopes his lecture can compete with Sotomayor Visiting professor Bob Smith has high expectations for a lecture delivered at the same time as Sotomayor’s.

Conor Fellin

Expert in Nothing The University of Tulsa hosted two speakers Wednesday afternoon, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor and Prof. Bob Smith, author of “The Nuanced and the Intangible: Lessons Learned from My Adventures in Regressive Dialectics.”

“I have every expectation that the lecture will pack the house,” bragged Smith in an interview with the State-Run Media the day before the lecture.

To this end, Smith demanded that TU house his lecture in the Reynold’s Center, forcing the first Hispanic female Supreme Court Justice into the Lorton PAC. TU’s Third Annual Lecturer in Bayesian Synergy went on to explain how well his practice sessions with his grad students at Brown University had gone.

“Every time I get to the narrative about that one time I applied intuitive modernization theory to algorithmic institutionalism, I get a huge laugh from my lab,” Smith chortled. “So I’m planning on ending with that.”

Expecting a barrage of adoring fans after the show, Smith brought five hundred signed copies of his book, hailed by Robust Mutualism You’ve got three guesses to figure out which superhero was supposed to appear in this graphic before we got scared of being sued by DC Comics. Hint: literally no one likes him. He talks to sponges.

Who does that? But for now you’ll just have to be sastisfied with Mermaid Man.

English, Scots await return of mythical King Arthur—or maybe just Sean Connery?

With Scottish independence on the table, searching eyes Monthly as “a piece on a subject often covered by academics these cast about for the return of King Arthur days.”

“My friend within my department assured me that my treatment of the big data narrative was very pertinent within today’s post-structuralist scene and that students would be lining up out the door to hear me talk about it,” Smith boasted.

“They could not possibly have anything better to do this Wednesday afternoon than hear my thoughts on negative space in the cloud,” Smith assumed.

When told about Sotomayor, the esteemed speaker with whom he’d be competing, Smith asked, “Who?” Smith was not available for comment following the two lectures.

Steven Buchele

Resident Scottish Nationalist Many English eyes have been turning to the sky in recent months.

They are waiting and watching.

Most English gave up a long time ago and accepted that such a thing as a warm sunny day was a fanciful fairy tale.

Recent events, however, have turned their thoughts skyward as the possibility of the return of King Arthur grows ever greater.

According to an ancient note left on his bedside table, during England’s darkest hour King Arthur would return at retake his throne as the Once and Future King of England.

With the referendum for Scottish independence growing ever closer, many English feel that his return is imminent.

For months seismological surveys have been taken all over the southern coast of the British Isle seeking out the location from whence that the mythical Isle of Avalon shall rise. Several possible sites have already been inundated by media coverage. Poll numbers are being displayed side by side with seismological data on television.

Glastonbury was hoping that the impending return of Arthur and its long connection to Avalon would be a great boon to their middling economy. Yet that has not turned out to be the case. Most of England has rejected Glastonbury’s aspiration because, as a member of one of the numerous parties in the incomprehensible government of the United Kingdoms put it in a press

conference last week: “When has anything good actually come from Glastonbury?”

While those in Glastonbury gripe about such comments, the rest of England is growing more and more excited. The British are doing what they do best: finding trivial things to complain about in the hope that the Anglican Pope (or whatever) can be convinced that this really is England’s darkest hour.

Scotland for its part is looking forward to the return of King Arthur too. Spurred on by several recently published books suggesting that the original Uther Pendragon may have actually been Scottish, they welcome his return. Because, as one nameless, kilt-wearing Scott said, “Wouldn’t it be stoatin if he wis scots ‘n’ we git th’ crown? I’l lik’ tae see thair faces whin that happens.”

Photo courtesy of the internet....?