13 October 2014

a student newspaper of the university of tulsa

While much of Oklahoma was recovering from 2008’s recession, its poorest remained trapped in a cycle of intergenerational poverty. In the historically poor Kendall Whittier neighborhood, local organizations like Oklahoma Policy Institute, True Blue Neighbors and Kendall Whittier Inc. are working to combat these trends. Apprentice Editor Sara Douglas and Staff Writer Caitlin Woods report.

I

n 2012, a Census Bureau survey ranked Oklahoma’s poverty rate of 16.8 percent among the highest in the United States. According to data released by the Oklahoma Policy Institute (OK Policy) in September, “just over 625,000 Oklahomans lived in poverty in 2013.” High poverty rates have been linked to racial inequality, a lack of upward mobility amongst minorities and a long-standing culture of segregation. These problems are especially prevalent in Tulsa.

Poverty rates in Tulsa are 12.6 percent for households and 16.1 percent for individuals; the individuals’ statewide rate is slightly higher at 16.8 percent. Carly Put-

nam, a TU alumnus and analyst for OK Policy, stated that “one eighth of Tulsans are impoverished.”

When compared to the one sixth of Oklahomans on food stamps, which includes “100,000 children and 24,000 veterans” according to Putnam, it is clear that Tulsa’s poverty rate is nearly equivalent to that of statewide poverty.

One of Tulsa’s neighborhoods most affected by poverty is Kendall Whittier. It is among the city’s oldest suburbs and located just west of TU’s campus. Though the neighborhood began as a bustling suburban area in the early 20th century, Kara Joy McKee of Kendall Whittier, Inc. (KWI) said that as Tulsa rapidly shifted towards

today’s downtown, “places like Kendall Whittier were left to urban decay.”

Kendall Whittier has been deeply ingrained in a cycle of poverty.

Intergenerational wealth transfer, or the passing on of assets from parents to their children, is historically relatively low. According to Putnam, “home ownership (is) the single largest vehicle to transfer wealth from one generation to the next. The racial disparities there are tremendous.”

“Intergenerational wealth transfers are a big issue,” said Putnam.

“If you’re poor, you can’t afford to feed your kids well, and if they’re going to a bad school, they can’t use education to get a good job, and then they can’t afford to feed their kids well, and it becomes a cycle of poverty.”

The effects of poverty and low incomes are particularly tough on minorities. While 40 percent of black families living in poor neighborhoods have lived there for two or more generations, only sev-

october 13, 2014 issue 6 ~ volume 100

en percent of white families living in poor neighborhoods have lived there for two or more generations.

“Statewide, it looks pretty good overall based on unemployment rates, but if you break it down by race it becomes a lot more discouraging,” Putnam stated. The income gap between whites and minorities has remained the same since 1983, with whites making $1.80 to every $1.00 made by blacks and Hispanics.

Mike Mills is the associate dean of community relations for True Blue neighbors, a TU-based organization which focuses on volunteer action in the Kendall Whittier neighborhood. He said that Kendall Whittier has “a very culturally diverse population.”

McKee said that “the diverse community (of Kendall Whittier) includes people of numerous races and ethnicities, including a large number of Hispanic people.”

These residents have a difficult time making it out of the cycle of poverty. “Many of the parents in

the homes don’t speak English,” Mills said, “so there’s a language barrier for the students in the schools.”

According to the Urban Institute, a DC-based think tank, “from 1983 to 2010, average family wealth for whites has been about six times that of blacks and Hispanics.” The 2007 recession exacerbated this disparity. Though the recession was felt everywhere, for the one percent loss in wealth whites experienced, blacks lost 23 percent and Hispanics lost 25 percent.

Putnam said that average “incomes are still over $1,000 below what they were in 2007. Pretty much everyone’s income went up in 2012, except black Oklahomans’ dropped. People in the middle and bottom see much less improvement than those on top.” In addition to suffering low incomes, poor Oklahomans are lacking in health care coverage.

See Poverty, p. 4

the Collegian : 2

Sports

13 October 2014

Football falls in Philly, volleyball dominates at home

Clockwise from upper left: Courtesy of Donald Otto, Greg Diskin / Collegian, Adam Lux / Collegian, Courtesy Donal Otto

Photographs clockwise from upper left: Golden Hurricane defenders Trent Martin (#40) and C.J. Gooden (#59) watch as Temple’s running back trips over DeMarco Nelson (#20) during the game on Saturday. Bailey Clampitt stares down Houston as she prepares to serve the ball on Sunday. Women’s soccer goes for the header against the Bearcats during Sunday’s game. Tulsa defense puts pressure on Temple’s running back as he tries to run through them.

Abbreviated Hurricane Recap Top Drawer Sophomore soccer player Ray Saari was named to the Top Drawer Team of the Week this past week for his performance against Missouri State and Cincinnati. He scored the only goal against MO state, and had two in the 4–2 win over Cincinnati.

Practice for the Big Dance Begins The men’s basketball team began practice last Wednesday with more following on Saturday and Sunday. Look to future articles for a basketball preview as the season begins on Nov. 8 with an exhibition game.

Softball Postponed Due to inclement weather this past weekend the three softball games were postponed until later. The game against Butler Community College has not been scheduled, but the double header against Oklahoma State has been pushed to next Monday Oct. 20.

Men Sit at Second The men’s golf team sits at sixth place in the Rod Meyers Invitational Tournament currently, but are waiting to continue play due to bad weather causing the second round to play off and on throughout the day and finally being suspended late in the afternoon. They look to keep the pace as play resumed on Sunday afternoon.

Another Ranked Team Falls—Soccer Splits the Week The men’s soccer team beat the #16 ranked Bulls of University of South Florida this past week 4–3. Four different players scored Tulsa’s four goals in the shootout, with USF and Tulsa responding blow for blow throughout the second half.

On Saturday the men were shut out by the Huskies of the University of Connecticut 2–0. This has put the men’s record at 6–5– 1 overall and 2–2 AAC.

A guide on how to win more football games Golden Hurricane fan Pat Fox gives his wisdom on what the ‘Cane needs to turn this season around and start winning.

For the second consecutive year Tulsa’s football team is struggling, and I mean struggling. Struggling worse than Bow Wow after he dropped the Lil’ from his name.

They are now one and five in the first season being the American-Athletic Conference. So I thought of seven ways the Golden Hurricane could turn their season around.

Here they are: Fire Blankenship. It is hard to win when your coach is not very good. You cannot expect TU to get five star recruits, especially not when you are one of the smallest Division I football college in the NCAA. The best way to make up for our lack of talent is good offensive schemes and good player development.

You cannot do any of that with an uninventive coach. Or a coach who hires his son, who has no coaching experience, as the quarterback caoch. TU would be a lot better with an assistant coach from a big university running their team rather than a former high school coach.

Turn Goldie into the next Air Bud. Most people know Air Bud for his dominant basketball skills, but he showed off his receiving skills as well in the masterpiece film “Air Bud: Golden Receiver.” If we got the same trainers from the film to train Goldie to become a top tier receiver we would be golden. I mean no colleges would be able to defend our plays. This plan is foolproof.

Give James Van Der Beek a scholarship. I know this one sounds crazy, but stick with me for a second. James Van Der Beek played Jonathan Moxon in the nineties classic “Varsity Blues.”

Now I’m just guessing that the Beekster never went to college and still has his college eligibility. Rumor has it that Van Der Beek did all his own stunts in that movie and we all saw some of the plays he made in “Varsity Blues.” Van Der Beek could turn

TU’s football program around, but still not want his father’s life.

Pay Our Players. Worked for SMU in the eighties and nothing bad* happened to them, so it has to work for us.

Use steroids. We all saw what steroids did for baseball in the nineties to the likes of Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire. If TU could be as good as nineties baseball I would be a happy boy.

Photo Courtesy of coed.com

I mean look at this guy. He took steroids and became really, really ripped. He also broke the all-time home run record and was really good at baseball. What could go wrong?

Abstinence. If it works for Tebow (have you seen that guy?) why wouldn’t it work for TU? Score more points than the other team.

If you get down to the nitty gritty of football it all comes down to who has the most points at the end of the day. TU just has not had more points than other teams in recent years. If they are able to change this and score more points, they could really turn their year around and maybe even make a bowl game. *SMU may or may not have had their entire football program shut down for two years between 1987 and 1988 due to the “death penalty” in college football. This incident may have also caused one of the Dallas daily newspapers to go into bankruptcy due to lost revenue for publishing stories about the incident. It might have also changed the face of the football program making it so that SMU has never been the same ever since they were caught.

13 October 2014

Sports

the Collegian : 3

Women’s soccer falls to Pirates, but beats Bearcats

The women’s soccer team split its games this weekend. Our Sports Writer Joseph Edmunds gives us his recap of the games’ results.

Tulsa’s women’s soccer team suffered a tough loss to conference foe East Carolina University, 1–0, on Thursday. On Sunday, they bounced back from the loss with a 2–1 win against the University of Cincinnati.

The game started uneventfully, until Tulsa forward Madison Smith sent a shot across the box to hit the right goalpost. None of the Golden Hurricane were able to collect the rebound, and the Pirates were able to push the ball out of their defensive end.

Ten minutes later, Pirate Lana Spitler scored on a perfectly placed shot, sending the ball into the top left corner of the goal. The shot gave diving Tulsa goalkeeper Courtney McKeon no chance for a save, and gave the Pirates a 1–0 advantage.

For the rest of the half, the Hurricane pressured the Pirates, creating multiple chances that led to quality shots on goal. A few minutes after Spitler’s goal, TU midfielder Tana Dake made a run down the middle of the field, beating the last defender and taking a shot that Pirate goalkeeper Erika Lenns was barely able to push over the crossbar.

A couple minutes later, forward Kajal Parmar headed the ball into the box, just out of the reach of midfielder Alexa Sidorakis.

Sidorakis quickly recovered the ball, and her shot was blocked.

In the last attack of the half, Parmar received the ball at the top of the box, spun around and took a shot. Again, Lenns was only able to push the shot over the crossbar.

Though losing 1–0 at half, the Hurricane had created more chances than the Pirates, and led 4–2 in the shots on goal category.

The second half followed the same pattern–the Golden Hurricane continued to

pressure the Pirates, but could not break through for the equalizing goal, and the game finished at 1–0.

Sunday’s game started quickly: the Bearcats notched the first shot on goal within the first minute of the game. McKeon made the save, and Tulsa pushed the ball out. After just six minutes of game time, midfielder Rachel Thun tucked home a rebound to give Tulsa a 1–0 advantage.

The lead did not last long, however. Ten minutes later, after a Golden Hurricane shot was blocked, the Bearcats counterattacked.

Forward Laura Rose was played through the Tulsa defense, and her quick shot slipped past McKeon, tying the score at 1–1.

This back-and-forth play continued for the remainder of the half, and the score remained 1–1 at halftime.

The second half started out very slowly.

The action got going again when Dake took a shot from 25 yards that rocketed towards

Volleyball wins first conference games

The women’s volleyball team saw early success last Friday in their match against Tulane and on Sunday against University of Houston. Sports Editor Matt Rechtien reports.

Friday night the women’s volleyball team hosted conference rival Tulane at the Reynolds Center for their annual pink match in support of Young Survival Coalition. The Hurricane took a fast lead against the Green Wave taking the first game 25–15.

They kept the pace up through the second set, taking an early lead and then bouncing back and forth throughout the game taking the set 25–20. Through these first two sets alone Tulsa recorded 29 kills with a 0.200 attack percentage. (Attack percentage is an indicator of how a team’s offense is doing).

For comparison, Tulsa kept Tulane to an under 0.120 hitting percentage through the entire game.

The third set was a reversal of the pace of the game, with Tulane coming off strong

after the break and dominating TU with a 17–7 lead before a Tulsa timeout. The Hurricane were able to put some points on the board but still fell in the third set 16–25, with a negative attack percentage.

Tulane controlled the beginning of the fourth set, taking an 8–7 early lead, before Tulsa came back and used a late game scoring streak—taking ten out of the last thirteen points in the match—to win the game 25–16 and the match 3–1.

Sophomore Erica Bohannon had a matchhigh 13 kills, while three other Golden Hurricanes had double digit kills. Seniors Valerie El Houssine and Bailey Clampitt both recorded double-doubles for the match, with double digit kills, assists and digs between the two of them. Sophomore Brooke Berryhill once again had the most digs of the match, this time making 22 digs throughout the four games.

On Sunday The Golden Hurricane hosted the University of Houston to wrap up their

second of four games during this homestand. A much closer affair than their battle against the Green Wave, the women beat the Cougars 3–2.

After dominating the first match 25–16, the Hurricane then lost the next two sets, putting them in a hole for the fourth game, making it a possible elimination game.

Tulsa never gave them a chance to win, once again dominating the Cougars, this time by the score of 25–14.

The fifth game was very a close affair, since it’s only played to 15 points instead of the usual 25. Tulsa was able to pull out the win 15–12.

With these wins, Tulsa finally wins their first conference games in the American Athletic Conference and raises their record to 10–7 overall and 2–4 AAC. Tulsa looks to replicate this success as they continue their four game homestand with a match on Wednesday night against SMU at Reynolds Center.

Golden Hurricane put up a fight but Owls fly away with the victory

The Hurricane couldn’t get it done on the road for the second straight week, as our reporter Wade Crawford tells us about the the fifth loss of the football team’s season.

The Golden Hurricane continued their cold streak on Saturday, as they fell victim to a late comeback in a 35–24 loss to Temple at Philadelphia’s Lincoln Financial Field. The Owls rallied behind quarterback PJ Walker’s two touchdown passes in the final quarter to take a late lead and hand Tulsa their fifth straight loss.

The scoring began early, as Temple senior running back Kenneth Harper ran for a touchdown a mere 53 seconds into the game. Tulsa answered late in the opening quarter, as junior running back Zack Langer ran a 19-yard touchdown of his own.

Temple continued the early-scoring trend in the second quarter, as senior backup quar-

terback Connor Reilly scored on a threeyard run within 41 seconds of the second quarter’s beginning. Tulsa quickly returned with a Dane Evans pass to junior Mandel Dixon, Jr. Walker capped off the first half with a five-yard touchdown run, bringing the score to 21–14 at the half.

Evans’s pass to Keevan Lucas was the only score of the third quarter, as Lucas’s seventh receiving touchdown of the season brought the score to a 21–21 tie. Tulsa took their first lead of the afternoon with Carl Salazar’s 44-yard (a career long) field goal to begin the final quarter.

However, PJ Walker threw to senior wide receiver Jalen Fitzpatrick and later to sophomore running back Jahad Thomas, giving Temple a 35–24 lead on his eighth and ninth touchdown passes of the season. Temple would hold on to improve to a 4–1 record.

Tulsa outgained Temple 497 yards to

438. Langer sealed his first 100-yard rushing game of the year, while Keevan Lucas caught for 100 yards for the third time.

Temple’s win comes even though they were 1-for-12 in third down conversions, and only possessed the football for a total of 23 minutes and 26 seconds.

One of the Golden Hurricane’s big struggles seemed to be in the penalties, as they were penalized eight times for 108 yards.

The other big struggle for Tulsa was once again giving up the big plays, as both of Temple’s late fourth quarter touchdown scoring drives were helped by 32-yard or more plays.

Temple’s next game is on the road against Houston, and Tulsa returns to H.A. Chapman Stadium for the Homecoming game against new conference foe South Florida this Saturday at 11 a.m.

the top of the goal. The shot was in the center of the goal, and the Bearcat goalkeeper was able to get a hand on the ball, only to push it into the top of the net. The goal, which was also the first shot on goal of the second half, gave Tulsa a 2–1 lead.

The rest of the game continued with backand-forth play. However, the game started to get a little chippy. The referee failed to call multiple fouls on each team, which led to the injury of both Golden Hurricane forward Christina Holmes and Bearcat defender Lizzie Ehrnfelt within minutes of each other. Both players had to leave the game.

Neither team was able to make a breakthrough for the remainder of the game, and the game ended with a 2–1 score.

The Golden Hurricane are now 8–6–2, with a 2–3–1 record in the American Athletic Conference. They return to action in a home game against local rivals Oral Roberts on Wednesday, Oct. 15 at 7 p.m.

Jesse Keipp is…

When the San Diego Chargers’ team bus rolled into Oakland to prepare for a matchup against the unabashedly beloved Oakland Raiders, the Raiders cult members, er, fans couldn’t resist egging the mode of transportation. Even Sochi dogs can’t compete with the rabidity of the fans that call themselves “The Black Hole.” In a crowd filled with felons and people who at least like to dress up like the scum of the Earth, Tiger Woods felt right at home with them on Sunday.

Courtesy usatoday.com

“Hey it’s not quite a baker’s dozen of mistresses but at least someone will accept me,” said Tiger “I didn’t even like that car, Elin” Woods.

Despite having irrationally loyal fans, the Raiders haven’t had much football success in quite a while. Remember when the team went to the Super Bowl led by Rich Gannon only to be destroyed by the Buccaneers? Of course you don’t, because that was a long time ago. And if you do, pretend you don’t so I can make my point.

Regardless, coach firings have become a nearly annual occurrence in the cesspool side of the Bay Area, leading interim head coach Tony Sparano to try to turn things around.

In an entirely unprecedented move, Sparano arranged a football burial to symblize the death of the season’s bad start during a Raiders’ practice. You say, “That’s silly. It can’t work.” And I say, how would you know? It’s never been proven to not work.*

Who is watching hockey?

Probably not that many people...

It’s that time of the year again, the time that everyone looks forward to every year. It’s the start of the NHL hockey season! Alright, maybe not everyone is as excited as budding hockey enthusiast Wade Crawford, but he tries to understand why people aren’t totally pumped.

This past summer, I decided to watch the NHL Stanley Cup Finals on a whim. I heard a few of my friends had gotten into hockey, and I decided to give it a shot. Immediately, I was hooked. The fast pace, brutal physicality and electric atmosphere drew me into the sport over that thrilling five-game series.

Now it’s fall, and amidst the baseball playoffs and football controversies, the NHL regular season has begun. After the amazing end to last season, I’ve taken to continuing my budding fandom. This time, however, I struggle to find the same experience that I have with becoming a fan of any other sport.

The first glaring difference is the large lack of television exposure. On Saturdays and Sundays there’s no way to miss football on television. Basketball will be the same way once it begins near the end of the month. Baseball is a little worse, with some playoff games not shown on basic cable (some games are on Fox Sports 1).

But hockey? I can watch the games on NBC—once a week. If I want a (legal) stream, I can pay for NHL Gamecenter (which streams all the games outside your area’s television market) for a measly $159.

Hockey just doesn’t have the same exposure that the other American professional sports do.

Second, the hockey knowledge of this part of the country is a bit lacking. I could ask many random TU students about the NHL, and I’d probably get many mentions of the 1980 US Men’s Hockey Team. Wayne Gretzky would also be a popular talking point.

A handful might talk about Sidney Crosby, Henrik Lundqvist or Alexander Ovechkin since they’ve heard the name on Sportscenter. But if I were to ask about, say, Patrice Bergeron or Martin St. Louis, I’d get more than a few blank stares. But it’s not at the fault of them: there’s a reason why most of the teams are in New England and Canada.

Hockey just has never had exposure in this part of the nation. The naturally warmer climate than the northern part of the country creates a bad environment for a sport played on ice. What challenges hockey even more is its eclipse by the traditional regional giants of football and baseball.

Oklahoma’s towns are dotted with football fields for all levels and various baseball complexes, whereas you’d have to do some extensive research to find a hockey league. Many TU students may not even know about the hometown hockey team, the Tulsa Oilers of the minor league East Coast Hockey League.

Hockey is an absolutely wonderful sport

that combines speed, stamina and brutality (I mean come on, they let the players fight!).

The fans that do go to games create an incredible atmosphere, and the teams feed on that. I’m new to hockey, but I can tell it’s going to be an exciting event to experience for years and years to come, even as I struggle to get completely involved.

Monday, Oct. 13: Women’s Golf @ Betsy Rawls Invitational; Austin, Texas Men’s Tennis @ USTA Central Men’s Regional; Norman, Oklahoma Tuesday, Oct. 14: Women’s Golf @ Betsy Rawls Invitational; Austin, Texas Wednesday, Oct. 15: Women’s Soccer vs. Oral Roberts; Hurricane Stadium, 7:00 p.m.

Women’s Volleyball vs. SMU; Reynolds

Center, 7:00 p.m.

Thursday, Oct. 16: Women’s Tennis @ USTA/ITA Regionals; Stillwater, Oklahoma Friday, Oct. 17: Softball vs. Labette CC; Collins Family

Softball Complex, 3:00 p.m.

Courtesy bleacherreport.com

We have gathered here this day to remember how much you guys sucked in the first five weeks of the football season, and to pretend this burial will somehow make you better players.

*Editor’s note. The Raiders lost to the Chargers 31–28. It did not work, therefore it’s silly.

Women’s Volleyball vs. East Carolina; Reynolds Center, 7:00 p.m.

Men’s Soccer vs. Memphis; Hurricane

Stadium, 6:00 p.m.

Women’s Tennis @ USTA/ITA Regionals; Stillwater, Oklahoma

Saturday, Oct. 18: Football vs. USF; Henry A. Chapman Stadium, 11:00 a.m.

Women’s Soccer @ Memphis; Memphis, TN, 7:00 p.m.

Cross Country @ Pre-nationals; Terre Haute, IN Women’s Tennis @ USTA/ITA Regionals; Stillwater, Oklahoma Women’s Rowing @ Jayhawk Jamboree; Lawrence, KS Sunday, Oct. 19: Women’s Tennis @ USTA/ITA Regionals; Stillwater, Oklahoma

the Collegian : 4

From Poverty, cover

“Right now, one in five Oklahomans say they can’t see a doctor (because) they have no health insurance,” said Putnam. Oklahoma chose not to expand Medicaid after the Supreme Court made it optional beginning in 2013, even though the state would receive tax credits for providing coverage to people below the poverty level.

“There’s a ‘coverage crater’ created by people who qualify for traditional Medicaid. 150,000 more people would qualify if the state would expand,” Putnam explained. “The Affordable Care Act was written with the idea of seamless coverage,” but Oklahoma and 22 other states currently do not fulfill that aim.

McKee indicated that “lack of adequate health care is often to blame for many of the challenging situations that plague our pantry recipients.” KWI operates a home delivery Emergency Food Pantry (EFP) that is “focused on food security and nutrition” for neighborhood residents, said McKee. “Individuals in need can call 918592-3000 up to four times per year and receive a week’s worth of food delivered directly to their home.”

Organizations like KWI and True Blue Neighbors provide support and hope for the neighborhood. In addition to reviving Kendall Whittier businesses such as the Circle Cinema, volunteer initiatives run by KWI help the community. McKee explained that “over the past four decades KWI has initiated and/or sponsored many useful programs such as Meals on Wheels, Kendall Whittier Lights On, The Fab Lab, The Youth Mentoring Program and many more.”

“Today we are focused on food security and nutrition nurtured by our Emergency Food Pantry (EFP) and GROW (Gardening to Reach Out and Welcome) Community Gardens,” said McKee. KWI tries to make “sure that all neighbors know that when they have a financial emergency they can contact us, and that recipients of food are supported with compassion and respect. We believe that people are better able to have a clear view

NEWS

cle Cinema, Kendall Whittier Task Force, Growing Together and University Schools.

Mills described True Blue Neighbors as “the gateway for TU students, faculty and staff to find opportunities to volunteer in the Tulsa community, particularly that of the Kendall Whittier neighborhood.” True Blue Neighbors focuses on neighborhood revitalization, ensuring access to food and education, as well as on research

“Fast change usually doesn’t last. It

helps to have a 10, 20, 100-year lens” of their own life situation and the ability to make important choices when the are well fed and nourished,” McKee said.

KWI aims to “connect EFP recipients to other resources that can help end their unique cycle of poverty or emergency situation,” McKee shared. An additional initiative in the Kendall Whittier neighborhood is GROW Gardens, which promote healthy lifestyle choices in both adults and children.

“Our GROW community gardens host gardening classes, tours and opportunities for students from Kendall Whittier Elementary, KW Educare, University Schools and others,” stated McKee. “Food, education and inspiration are shared with the students and volunteers in hopes that they will grow healthy bodies as well as a strong sense of personal accomplishment and curiosity about the natural world.”

KWI works closely with OK Policy, True Blue Neighbors and other local organizations, including TU Youth Mentoring Program, Kendall Whittier Elementary, Kendall Whittier Main Street, Cir-

and development.

McKee believes “we have enough challenges that it makes sense for efforts to improve the quality of life for Oklahomans to come from all possible angles,” and that anti-poverty approaches are strengthened by “the balance of boots-on-the-ground community care with KWI and the big ideas, long term visions and empowerment that goes with OK Policy.”

“Fast change is really unnerving and usually doesn’t last. It helps to have a 10, 20, 100-year lens. You can’t walk into a legislative session and say we’re going to eradicate

poverty in four months,” Putnam said, noting that anti-poverty initiatives are necessary in addition to advocating for policy changes.

“Part of the much broader issue is that people in poverty can’t get their feet under themselves. They can’t build a strong financial foundation for themselves and be selfsustaining because a lot of benefits programs don’t let you accumulate assets,” Putnam explained.

OK Assets Network is an organization that coordinates with OK Policy and “works directly with anti-poverty actions and accumulation of assets,” according to Putnam. It is difficult for those in poverty to accumulate assets due to various policy and program restrictions. “When you have an entire group of people who can’t get ahead because of policies that are in place and then blame them for not getting ahead, that’s unfortunate and detrimental,” Putnam said.

Putnam expanded on this.

“There’s this ongoing narrative that people are poor because of the choices they make,” she said.

“That is possibly one of the most damaging myths we have in America. When wealthy people get tax cuts, they usually don’t invest in their community. When non-

13 October 2014

wealthy people get tax breaks, they do spend it locally, which drives job creation.”

Although organizations like OK Policy believe that the impoverished in Tulsa need more support from state policies and programs, there are anti-poverty initiatives at work in the city which give help where it is otherwise lacking. OK Policy, KWI, True Blue Neighbors and other organizations provide resources for poor Tulsans whose situations have improved little since the recession.

Putnam stated that “it’s always good for students to be exposed to and see their surrounding community,” and volunteers are always welcome at any of these local programs. McKee said that TU students have “numerous opportunities to have an immediate impact on the lives of their neighbors” through involvement in anti-poverty initiatives.

KWI’s Emergency Food Pantry can be contacted through efp@ kendallwhittierinc.org or at 918946-8262; OK Policy posts spring, summer and fall paid internships on its website at okpolicy.org; and True Blue Neighbors volunteer opportunities can be found at trueblueneighbors.com.

Slated Union renovations to alter upper level The new Student Union retains little resemblance to its predecessor, ACAC, except in the basic building structure and, for a short while longer, the upper level. Apprentice Editor Sara Douglas reports on further expected renovations to the Union.

Recent updates and additions to the building formerly known as the Allen Chapman Activity Center transformed it into a Student Union which more closely resembles those found on campuses of large universities and state schools. Many more vendors are available as dining options now than in years before, there is more seating, and the whole place has an air of modernity.

However, the upper level of the building has undergone few changes. Some alterations were made to move in Career Services and related offices upon the destruction of their previous residence, Holmes Student Center, in making room for Hardesty Hall.

Besides that and the relocation of Benvenuto’s to the lower level, much is the same.

Upstairs the Union has wooden tables and chairs, couches spread out along the walls, wall-to-wall windows along the east end of the building and a more colorful scheme overall than the downstairs area. These features mean that the upper level of the building has historically been a comfortable and quiet area for students to enjoy, in contrast with the modernized and busy atmosphere cultivated by the new design of the lower level.

Planned renovations to complete the overhaul of ACAC and transition into the Union will include modifying the upstairs to model the new scheme of the lower level. Besides aesthetic updates, changes “will include the renaming of the Mary K. Chapman Great Hall, the renovation of the Student Association offices and the expansion of office space for building operations,” according to Mona Chamberlin, Director of Marketing and Communications at TU. Chamberlin also said “there are no plans for vendors upstairs at this time.” Although more offices will be housed upstairs beginning within the next year, students can expect the upper level of the former ACAC to remain a quieter area than the lower level for the foreseeable future.

Chuyi Wen / Collegian Senior Nick Blandino paints a pumpkin at the Student Association’s “Hurricane Hoedown” last Tuesday, Oct. 7 on the New U.

Gay marriage OK in OK the press conference the couple was married.

The atmosphere at the press conference was one of guarded celebration. Though the couple was happy that they would finally be able to marry, they lost no time in expressing dissatisfaction with the Supreme Court’s decision, which they feared would create “a patchwork of marriage laws” throughout the United States.

“When we travel across the border into Missouri or Texas, we should not have to worry about if those states will recognize our marriage,” said Sharon Baldwin.

The Supreme Court’s refusal to hear appeals on gay marriage did not constitute an endorsement of marriage equality. However, until the Supreme Court does hear and decide upon a case, it effectively allows the decisions of the district courts immediately below them to stand. In the 11 states involved,

that meant the legalization of gay marriage.

There are still 21 states with bans on gay marriage that are being challenged in the court system.

The district courts for these states could rule for or against marriage equality, and the Supreme Court’s decision provides these states with no direction one way or the other.

Meanwhile in Kansas, where it is a misdemeanor for a court clerk to issue a marriage license to “unqualified” couples, several judges are instructing clerks to ignore their district court’s decision in favor of gay marriage.

This Wednesday, Justice Anthony Kennedy, historically a proponent of LBGT rights, issued an emergency stay of a decision in Idaho striking down its gay marriage ban, causing some to speculate that Idaho’s appeal might be heard after all. The stay was lifted on Friday, however.

investigating how it was possible for the nurse to become infected at a modern hospital with specialized equipment meant to prevent the spread of disease. The nurse believes infection may have occurred upon removal of her protective gear to clean the room of the deceased missionary.

The World Health Organization (WHO) now estimates a total of over 4,000 deaths from Ebola.

Half of the 370 health workers infected with the virus have died.

lage of Murufiti. The seven people killed were suspected of witchcraft. Five of the seven were over the age of 60, and the other two were over 40. All 23 suspects remain in custody and will appear in court to face charges.

Witnesses claim the victims were attacked with machetes, and their homes were burned down.

Many Murufiti villagers have fearfully fled the area.

The practice of witchcraft is common in many parts of Tanzania. Between 2005 and 2011, approximately 2,000 people were murdered after being accused of witchcraft.

Sub-Saharan Africa

Latin America

Tanzania

Brazil

Police in Tanzania have charged Police in Tanzania have charged 23 people with murder following the death of seven individuals burned alive on Monday, Oct. 6.

The attacks occurred in the vil-

Brazil held presidential elections on Oct. 5, however no candidate secured the 50 percent of the vote necessary to win the presidency.

The top two candidates, incum-

bent president and leftist Dilma Rousseff and center-right Aécio Neves will faceoff in a runoff election.

Neves jumped from 20 percent favorability just days before the election to 34 percent in the official tally. This jump left centrist Marina Silva in the dust.

Initially Silva’s Socialist party was not considered viable until she became the nominee after her running mate Eduardo Campos died in a plane crash in August.

Incumbent Rousseff’s Worker’s party has held the presidency for almost 12 years, since Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva came into power.

Silva’s social programs have been credited with lifting 30 million people out of poverty.

The Worker’s Party has recently come under fire under allocations of corruption and concerns over a stagnating economy.

Rousseff is currently tied with Neves in the poles.

Oklahoma will now issue marriage licenses to samesex couples because the Supreme Court refused to hear appeals on the subject.

Managing Editor Conor Fellin reports.

“Today is a good day to be gay in Oklahoma!” bellowed Toby Jenkins, the executive director of Oklahomans for Equality, at the beginning of a press conference held by Mary Bishop and Sharon Baldwin last Monday.

The Bishop-Baldwins were plaintiffs in a lawsuit that overturned Oklahoma’s ban on gay marriages this January. Last Monday, after the United States Supreme Court refused to hear appeals on a number of gay marriage cases nationwide, Oklahoma gave out marriage licenses to homosexual couples for the first time. After

Eye on the world: Lizzie Connor Staff Writer Asia india, pakistan The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded on Friday, Oct. 10 to India’s Kailash Satyarthi and Pakistan’s Malala Yousafzai. Both individuals are known for their commitment to youth rights.

At 17 Yousafzai is both the first Pakistani and youngest winner of the peace prize in history. She came to global attention two years ago after being shot in the head by the Taliban for her campaign for girls’ education in Pakistan.

Satyarthi, 60, is known for his peaceful rallies against child labor in India.

The Nobel Peace Prize committee calls this year’s award es-

pecially symbolic. The union of a Hindu and a Muslim taking a strong stand against oppression embodies the very purpose of the peace prize.

Europe Spain

The first known transmission of the Ebola virus outside of West Africa was reported in Madrid, Spain. An unnamed Spanish nurse treated an Ebola-infected missionary at a hospital in Madrid, contracting the disease shortly after.

The missionary being treated was a Spanish priest who served as the medical director of a hospital for Ebola patients in Sierra Leone.

The missionary passed away on Sept. 25.

The infected nurse is in quarantine. Spanish authorities are

neWS

13 oCtober 2014

A

the Collegian : 5

Independent U.S. Senate candidates bring unique ideas

merica’s two main political parties generally dominate the attention of the people. Yet in most races, independents run for election as well. This year, Oklahoma has two Senate seats up for election. One is a special election for the seat left vacant by Tom Coburn. Incumbent Republican Inhofe is also up for reelection.

Three independents—Joan Farr, Ray Woods and Aaron DeLoizer are independents are fighting alongside Democrat Matt Silverstein for Inhofe’s seat.

The independent candidates running against Inhofe come from varied backgrounds. None have any political experience.

Farr has worked in a variety of business settings, including starting her own company. She has spent the last 11 years helping to bring pro se lawsuits (cases where a person advocates for his or herself without the use of a lawyer) to the Supreme Court.

Farr describes herself as a “Christian driven by God and not money,” and her religion motivates much of her policy platforms.

“The majority of people in America want to serve God,” she notes, “but the govt serves money.” She hopes to “fight against arrogance, oppression and retaliation by career politicians in both parties” by polling Oklahomans before voting on any bill.

Her religion drives her opposition to gay marriage and abortion when it is necessary to save the mother. “Passing too many laws that favor a small majority … restricts the freedoms we all enjoy as a whole,” she says in reference to gay marriage. Religion propels her opposition to surveillance and drone usage as well, as she notes “starting wars and killing people is not loving your neighbor … this is outrageous government conduct and the height of arrogance.”

Religion also influences her views on the Affordable Care Act. She is “opposed to health care based on a person’s income,” believing that only universal healthcare should provide universalized treatment. “The individual mandate, the computerization of all medical records, and microchipping by 2017 which is the Mark of

Beast” have also earned her ire, as they are “unacceptable for a Christian nation,” she says. She believes “pp. 1000–1006 of the ACA refers to microchipping people on Obamacare by 2017.”

Joan Farr is also an outspoken critic of “Agenda 21,” a non-binding action plan of the United Nations formulated at the 1992 UN Conference on Environment and Development. She claims that the plan concerns not only sustainable development but also “population control.”

“Most career politicians belong to secret societies that believe in population reduction,” she said.

Farr believes “wars, abortion, tainted food and medicine, disease, weather interference, drone targeting are all discrete methods used to reduce our population.”

As a Senator, Farr hopes to install a “Get Out of Debt Plan.” Her plans states that “if a poor/middle class person will agree to improve their life for one year … then a rich person agrees to pay off (the poor person’s) debt up to a certain amount.”

She also wants to create a “justice” amendment, which would give defendants a right to legal counsel in a civil matter and evaluate all evidence according to the “Farr factor.” The “Farr factor” would determine the likelihood that the defendant is guilty, in hopes of saving people time and money. In time, she also hopes to pass a “No Child Left Alone Act” which would adjust work schedules so that a parent would always be home with a child.

In contrast, Woods’ campaign is based around one simple premise: the Reboot Amendment. “After one year from the ratification … all federal laws as previously passed by the Congress of the United States of America will become Null and Void,” according to his proposed amendment.

With his amendment, he hopes to “take from the federal bureaucracy … the accumulation of federal laws that has turned the union of the states into a blundering, self-centered, plundering capitalistic empire.”

“Seventy-eight exciting years of life along with 54 years into a

Election day is coming up on Nov. 4. Republican incumbent Jim Inhofe and Democrat challenger Matt Silverstein are getting most of the media attention. Outside of the public eye, three independents are challenging the status quo with, errr, interesting ideas. Staff Writer Micheala Flonard reports on the campaigns of Joan Farr, Ray Woods and Aaron DeLoizer.

wonderful marriage with extensive travel and living in more parts of the world than most people can even imagine” motivated Woods to “carry forth to the august body of 100 Senators and to every U.S. State a simple Reboot Amendment.” He believes his “simple reboot amendment will dissolve the military industrial complex.”

He believes the “capitalistic oligarchs and the entrenched federal bureaucracy” have an “imperial stranglehold on the economy and the People.” Woods wants to give the states sovereignty in education, banking and money-making, and healthcare by dissolving “over 200 years of archaic, misused, misunderstood and abused federal laws.”

By returning state control to the banking system, he hopes to “eliminate the present federal monetary system’s dependency on indentured debtor servitude and the parasitic involvement of the international banking oligarchs.”

Returning control of education to the states, Woods hopes, will remove “federal bureaucratic propaganda and mandates” currently in the system. He sees colleges and universities as another site of such propaganda, saying that they are “in the process of indoctrinating and enticing their students into a federally orchestrated student loan system of indentured servitude and perpetual debt.”

DeLoizer describes his campaign with the words “BE HEARD!!!.” This slogan is to re-

CONGRATULATIONS to the 2014 class of Global Scholars: Tori Burris (AS) Tara Cain (AS) Madeline Cook (AS) Thomas Kerwin (CCB) Barbarae Limbrick (CCB) Abigail Marino (AS) Caroline Moore (AS) Jaime Nunez (ENS) Alexander Reinert (CCB) Rob Rodriguez (ENS) Camden Schinnerer (ENS) Andrew Stiehler (CCB) Justin Vo (ENS) Brianne Wagner (CCB) James Wessinger (AS)

mind “the silent majority to understand they do not have to be silent and should not be silent but should participate and talk about political issues and be involved.” He believes that America has “simply lost her way but that doesn’t mean we need to abandon the greatest country in the world.” DeLoizer is a self-described “common man” who believes that “America can be made right again.”

“States having the power and not the federal government,” according to DeLoizer, is the major way to put the U.S. on the right track. Social issues, from marriage to gun control, should be handled by the states, because “if it isn’t, then the states are nothing more than smaller areas of a far reaching federal government,” he says.

“People who don’t like the laws of one state would move to another state,” he adds, using the recent influx of people from states with higher tax rates to states with low tax rates as an example.

In specific reference to gay marriage, DeLoizer opposes it because “the ramifications are far reaching … the reason is not that people do or do not have a right, but that by changing the definition of a word, you start the slow process of allowing all words to having their meaning changed if a vocal minority can make change happen.”

He opposes abortion on the

grounds that “a human has 23 pairs of chromosomes that starts as soon as an egg is fertilized.”

Education is “a decision made first and foremost by parents,” he says, as he advocates for school choice. While he does believe people occasionally need assistance, he thinks charities should do the work, not government entitlement.

“The purpose of having an economy is to provide the people an opportunity to live in it, not live off it,” he says.

For the economy, his plan is to “have the government get out of it.

We don’t ask how much the economy should be involved in the government so why should the reverse apply.” The free market allows for competition, which drives improvement and efficiency, he says, which the government cannot do.

His belief in the free market drives his opposition to the Affordable Care Act, as he says “healthcare is not a universal right either. If you cannot afford the cost … then you cannot receive the service.”

DeLoizer sums up his campaign, like the rest of his fellow independents, with the simple idea of uniting the people against the federal government. By not representing a particular party, these candidates hope to be elected because of their ideas, not because of their party affiliations.

NEWS

Collegian : 6

13 October 2014

Hurricane Homecoming: 88 Golden Years TU has been celebrating homecoming since 1926.

Traditional events range from the crowning of the “football queen” to a piano drop. Student Writer Claire Thompson explains how homecoming has changed throughout the years.

With this year’s “all-American” themed homecoming just around the corner, TU students are preparing for a weekend full of tailgates, football and family.

“I’m really excited about it this year,” said Alicia Chong, one of Student Association’s Associate Directors of Homecoming.

“Tradition has always been a big part of Homecoming Week, and all of us on the homecoming team can’t wait to share some of the best (traditions) with the student body.”

Even with the focus on

university tradition that accompanies homecoming, it’s easy to forget just how long TU has been celebrating this event.

Tulsa’s very first homecoming was in 1926. This inaugural event featured a parade, the crowning of a “football queen” and a football match against the Arkansas Razorbacks.

In 1930, the venerable Skelly Stadium was dedicated with a special holiday declared in honor of the event.

TU homecoming continued uninterrupted through the momentous events of the Second World War, though the 1942 Collegian homecoming article appeared underneath ads promoting the purchase of war bonds.

Throughout the years, homecoming has crafted new traditions. The piano drop tradition will be revived this year.

The original piano drop was a

controversial idea originated by Paul Jablonski for the second annual Springfest in 1981. The piano, a broken-down Wurlitzer, was dropped from a 100-foot crane onto Harwell Field. This year’s event will take place on the very same field, 33 years later.

The annual street painting competition will also return. The first recorded street painting event was in 2006 in Hurricane Alley (8th Street).

Though a more recent tradition, this event has proven to be one of the most iconic and well-loved events at TU’s homecoming.

“We had a very well attended street painting event, which is a yearly tradition that always seems to be popular,” said John Lepine, recalling the high points of homecoming the year he was Student Association President.

One event that will not be featured in this year’s homecoming festivities is the chariot race, an

This photo, from the Collegian archives, is of TU’s first Homecoming Queen. Miss Geneva Roberts was chosen to be the Football Queen of Tulsa in 1926.

The above image was pulled from the Collegian archives. It ran in an issue published Oct. 7, 2008.

event in which students cobble together makeshift chariots in the hopes that they will hold together for a race on the U. Chariot racing was first mentioned in the April 8, 1965 edition of the Collegian as a Greek Week competition and later transitioned into a Kappa Sigma Olympics event. The chariot race became a homecoming event in 2004.

“I think that as TU continues to grow as an institution, students

and alumni realize how many neat traditions there are to be proud of,” said Lepine.

No matter what theme the Alumni Association chooses, what team the Golden Hurricane plays or what student organizations prevail in the homecoming competitions, it is undeniable that the University of Tulsa Homecoming has grown over its 88 years and continues to reflect the true Golden Hurricane spirit.

Student Association plans an “All American” Homecoming week The Student Association will host a week’s worth of activities including a color run, street painting, piano drop, food festival, bonfire and tailgate. Student Writer Alex Garoffolo reports.

It’s that time of year again folks.

Time to ramp up the TU spirit, paint the streets and show the alumni how great their school is. SA (Student Association) has organized many activities for students.

Kate Foringer, SA’s Executive Director of Homecoming, explains the upcoming events and shares her goals for Homecoming 2014.

The alumni decided on the theme “An All American Homecoming.”

A kickoff party to “boost morale” and get everybody excited about the week ahead will be held on Sunday, Oct. 12 in the building formerly known as ACAC. On Monday, TU will play host to a one-mile color run/walk.

According to Foringer, the route will include four different paint stations where students will have powdered paint thrown on them.

Special edition color run shirts will be handed out for the first 300 people to register for the event.

It starts at the Union parking lot at 6 p.m. with registration

beginning at 5 p.m.

The first traditional event of Homecoming Week takes place on Tuesday.

From 6–10 p.m., organizations and students alike can come out to 8th street for street painting. A hundred homecoming shirts will be available as well.

Wednesday is the big food night on the Old U. The event begins at 5:30 p.m. with a tailgate and free Charlie’s Chicken buffet. At 6 p.m., there will be an open-entry pie eating contest.

When asked “Why pie?”, Foringer said: “The theme this year is All American. What’s more American than pie and eating big?” A hundred homecoming shirts will also be up for grabs.

On Thursday, SA is bringing back the 1980s tradition of dropping a piano from a crane.

A new twist is added this year— the piano will be full of ping pong balls.

The action begins at 8:30 p.m. on the Old U. Foringer said, “We have 30 prizes this year, each prize is written on a pong ball …

The top two prizes are an iPad and a Jawbone Jambox speaker!”

Also, SA will have 100 more homecoming shirts.

Starting on Friday, students will have the chance to mingle with alumni. Friday morning from 9 to 11 a.m. in Sharp Plaza, students

can come by and get some free local breakfast food and chat with alumni between classes.

Later that Friday night, the great homecoming tradition of TU will take place—The Bonfire.

The Bonfire festivities begin at 7:30 p.m. on the Old U. SA will be offering 50 homecoming shirts.

Homecoming culminates on Saturday with the homecoming game against the USF Bulls at 11 a.m.

Before the game, there will be a tailgate with current students, alumni and parents.

This day will mark the final countdown for SA’s remaining 50 homecoming shirts.

When asked what she hoped people would take away from Homecoming 2014, Foringer had this to say: “At the end of the week, I want people to know and feel what TU spirit truly is. We are all a part of this university, and homecoming is a time for current students to make bonds with alumni through shared experiences throughout the years.”

She also added, “The point of homecoming is to get people excited about TU and pumped about not only our school and beating the Bulls, but to keep the TU spirit up across the generations who’ve attended this institution.”

One final word: make sure to bring your student ID to all

The above photos, taken from the Collegian archives, depict TU’s first piano drop, which took place on April 24, 1981.

events so you can get points for your organization if you are representing one.

Also, your student ID is the only way you’ll be able to register for the run or get a homecoming shirt when the time arises.

The SA page on Facebook has information about homecoming events.

Foringer highly encourages you to take advantage of all that SA offers our university.

13 october 2014

Commentary

the Collegian: 7

Disney’s beloved princesses underwent a makeover. Student Writer Hannah Montgomery believes the changes are not loyal to the personalities of the individual princesses, and perpetuate unrealistic standards of beauty. Staff Writer Olivia Blankenship writes that Disney is not the sole cause of body issues among women and girls, and that the princesses retain their quirks regardless of what they look like.

Why I’m boycotting the Disney Princess New Look

For people who consider Disney a way of life, this is old news, but still—The Disney Princesses’ New Look. My favorite Disney princess has always been Ariel, but every time I find merchandise with her on it, I cringe and refuse to buy it, not because of the perpetual state of overpriced that is Disney merchandise, but because of the makeover.

Now, this isn’t the first time Disney has made over its princesses for its merchandise.

There was a time where all of them were wearing white or gold versions of their iconic dresses, or versions that had flower accents on them. Disney also had a time when it added tiaras to everyone. Or changed the pose the princesses stood in. But Disney has never before completely changed the dresses themselves (to ones never seen in the movies) or hair styles or facial features. This is also the only makeover that has provoked intense public reaction.

It makes sense that Rapunzel was made 2D, so she can be on the same merchandise as the rest of the princess line without looking completely out of place. She is paler and her hair is yellower. This feisty, spunky princess now looks delicate and demure. Her facial features are smoothed, her nose especially. From her completely natural look, she now seems to be wearing mascara and lip gloss. Not only is she now wearing shoes, her feet are also smaller.

Then of course the explosion of sparkles.

Belle now has a pointier nose, larger and lighter eyes, thinner eyebrows and fuller lips.

Her hair is now longer, lighter and in beach waves. As usual, the waist is smaller, the chest perkier and shoulders thinner.

That’s right kids, you only need to have three pairs of ribs removed and you can have a waist just like Belle!

Merida’s wild curls are now evenly curled. The palest princess is even paler. A girl who detested her mother brushing her hair is now wearing makeup! Her eyes are larger and a different shape, her nose is not as pointy and her waist is much smaller. She actually has a chest now, as displayed by her much lower cut dress (which is ridiculously sparkled). This rough and tough princess who spends her free time swordfighting, fishing, climbing mountains and mucks out her own stables, has been stripped of her weapons, thrown into a pile of glitter and forced to smile like she enjoys it. Merida is lucky though; her director, who based the character after his daughter, argued against the makeover. That combined with her adamant fan base and her being technically owned by Pixar let her be left unmade over on all of her official social media sites and much of her merchandise. Some of her merchandise, however, does use the new look, and whenever she is included in the Disney Princess line up, this madeover version is what is included.

Jasmine is much paler. Her eyes are lighter. Her nose is now smaller and straighter. The shape of her eyes has changed. While she may not have gotten a thinner waist, her hips and chest are much smaller and higher. And her hair, eyebrows and neck are thinner. Her dress is covered in jewels as well as glitter.

Now, for the biggest atrocity: our favorite warrior princess, Mulan. Her skin is paler, jaw thinner, eyebrows thinner, eyes wider, nose smaller and pointier, collarbone noticeable, chest larger, hips wider and waist smaller. Her dress is not only glittery, but extravagantly girly. It is girlier than her match-maker dress, the one she was in while she sang about how her reflection was someone she did not know. In “Reflection,” she wipes off her makeup and lets down her hair, but they have her in makeup, with her hair done. Does this new face, or new chest, look like one that could possibly pass for a man? Can you see her fighting the Huns in this? If any of her outfits is the most reflective of her personality, it is her blue dress at the end of the movie, with her short hair, her sword at her side. You know, the one in which she actually saves China.

Why should we care?

As my fellow student writer has vehemently pointed out, the Disney princesses have undergone a makeover to give them a more modern look. Unlike my friend, I actually think the remake is pretty cute and really not worth getting upset over. Like millions of other girls in the world, I have always been a fan of Disney and, of course, the Disney princesses. As a little girl, I greatly admired the princesses for their unshakeable kindness, their strength and their individual quirks.

Disney cannot change the admirable traits that each princess possesses. The princesses will never stop being who they are, regardless of how shiny and glittery their dresses are or how perfectly curled their hair is. Ariel will always be the independent and determined mermaid, Belle will always be the book smart princess that sees the good in everyone and Merida will always be seen as the adventurous, outdoorsy princess that don’t need no man (and so on…).

In other words, their looks do not define who they are. They don’t need to be wearing the “appropriate” attire and have their hair styled the “correct” way for them to remain the characters we know them to be.

“Disney is not to blame for the problems that girls have with body image and self esteem”

As for the impossible beauty standards of the modern princesses, this is nothing new.

Let’s face it, as much as we all love the Disney princesses, they have always possessed a beauty that is unattainable for real women and girls. They have always been predominantly caucasian. Disney is not to blame for the problems that girls have with body image and self esteem. Sure, it doesn’t help, but those issues are something that are deep-rooted in ourselves and society.

In fact, in 2009, Dr. Sharon Hayes and Dr. Stacey Tantleff-Dunn from the University of Central Florida did a study on the effects of popular children’s media (including Disney princesses) on girls’ body images. Basically, they brought 121 girls aged 3 to 6 into their studio and showed them video clips for 14 minutes. Half watched videos like Clifford, Dragon Tales and Dora while the other half watched princess videos. Afterwards, they were allowed to play in a room by themselves for 15 minutes while the researchers watched to see how much time was spent on activities that concerned their appearance, eg. playing in front of the vanity or playing with the dress up clothes. They were then asked to pick the “real princess” from a picture of ballerinas, ranging from thinnest to heaviest. Then they were asked questions about their bodies and body images.

The results showed that 31 percent of girls said they always worry about being fat, and another 18 percent sometimes worried about it. One third of the girls desired a thinner ideal figure compared to their current size. And when asked to pick the “Real Princess,” 50 percent of the girls chose the thinnest ballerina. However, these measures weren’t affected by watching the princess videos. On every measure, there was no statistical difference between the girls who watched princess scenes and those who watched Dora and Clifford. Girls’ issues with their bodies are far beyond anything that Disney has ever done.

Finally, I think people forget that Disney is a business. Its goal is to make money. Businesses are always having to revamp and modernize. Disney knew that girls would eventually get bored with the princesses if they stayed the same way forever. It is just trying to appeal to a new generation of girls, and modernizing the princesses was a part of that. Was it absolutely necessary? Probably not. Was the iPhone 6 really necessary though??

Businesses cannot stagnate and promote the same things over and over, or people will get bored with their products. Those outraged by Disney’s money-making schemes just need to get over it. It was time for the Disney princesses to grow up, but never fear, they’ll always be the same in your heart.

Now, why is this an issue? Sure, it’s a bit unsettling seeing characters we love looking like someone else, but is it that big of a deal? Yes. These changes have made characters who were already considered to be setting an impossible beauty standard even less realistic. Before the makeover, there was some variation in body type, not much, but there were princesses with larger chests and smaller chests, larger hips and smaller hips. Now they all have the same figure.

Before, the promotional pictures had the personality of the characters, whether the demureness of Walt’s Original Three, or the spunk, sass, goofiness or hardcore fighter of our other favorites. Now, it’s all just… pretty and posing. The uniqueness of each has been wiped away.

And, all the princesses of color have had their features made more European. Smaller noses that are all close to the same shape. Eyes that are all close to the same shape and lighter. Their hair is thinner. Facial structure made to look more like all the other white princesses.

Why does this matter? These princesses are some of children’s first exposures to beauty standards. There was recently a study in which photographer Scott Chasserot digitally manipulated the facial features of his subjects and showed the altered pictures to the people the pictures were of while they were hooked up to mental scanners. The photographer recorded the alterations that the subjects found most appealing, and then compiled them all into one image. One of the subjects was a young child. The alterations made on this child were thinner eyebrows, lighter skin, blue eyes rather than their natural brown, fuller lips and bigger eyes. Someone commented on this picture, asking why anyone would alter such a cute kid to make them look like a Disney cartoon. This child thought he was most beautiful when he looked like a Disney cartoon. Therefore it is important that Disney’s characters vary and do not downplay characteristics of different races, so children of all appearances can find themselves beautiful.

All graphics courtesy Disney

the Collegian : 8

Commentary

13 oCtober 2014

More communication between TU colleges would benefit students and organizations When student organizations insist on advertising themselves only in buildings frequented by certain majors, students aren’t exposed to other fields of study in which they could be interested.

SAM CHoTT Web Editor

On your next break between classes, or whenever you get some free time in an academic building, take a look at the bulletin boards.

If you’re an engineer like me, you’re probably in Kep, so you’ll be seeing fliers for different engineering events, advertisements for tech internships and maybe that one giant U.S. Navy recruitment poster. Business students get ads for big-name internships and reminders about upcoming business events.

Arts and Sciences buildings probably have the greatest diversity, but they’re still predictable—ads for study abroad, departmental information and a few posters for movie nights with free pizza.

You’ve probably already guessed what issue I have with this state of affairs: there’s little to no communication among the colleges.

We’re here for what’s ostensibly a liberal arts education, but other than a few mandatory blocks, we’re really not exposed to that much outside of our major area. Extracurriculars seem like the perfect opportunity to actually be exposed to

potentially differing viewpoints without needing to take extra classes, which can jeopardize your precious GPA, fill up your schedule and take time away from mandatory classes.

You don’t need to be a Political Science major to watch a movie with them, and you can meaningfully contribute to a team in a programming competition without writing a line of code. Sometimes events in a certain college are even relevant to majors in another college, such as the presentation on the role of math in poetry hosted by the Mathematical Association of America last year.

Why does this even matter? It wouldn’t, if you’re in college just to get a degree in your major. I’d bet that quite a few people are tired of doing things in their major, though, what with all the classes and professional organizations and networking events. You also don’t have to be involved in a campus organization to be involved in its subject area, but if you can pull that off, I both applaud and envy you. I would much rather go to a talk by the Anthropology Club than actually read an anthropology book.

Finally, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, it’s nice to get away from the people in your major once in a while. Engineers in general, and especially computer scientists, are some of the smartest people I know, but they really don’t hold much back. Just once I’d like to be able to call an animated image a “gif” without having either my terminology or pronunciation corrected.

It sounds like I’m coming dangerously

Graphic by Elias Brinkman / Collegian

So little communication goes on between the colleges that you’d think they all speak different languages.

close to suggesting some kind of action. In fact, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. If you’re an officer of an organization, post ads in buildings that you wouldn’t normally post them in, even if you think that no one will be interested. If you’re not an officer, tell your officers to do so. If they ignore you, put them up yourself.

People that wouldn’t even know about your organization might start going to your events, and you might find yourself with a fresh perspective on your own major. If you want to know more about what’s happening

on campus, try checking bulletin boards in buildings you wouldn’t normally go into.

Finally, you might notice that I haven’t talked about business college organizations.

Mostly, that’s because I haven’t heard about anything that they do. I’ve never had a class in Helmerich, and I can’t think of any classes that I will take there. To me, the business college might as well be devoid of student organizations, but I’d love to realize that that’s not true. Please, post a flier in Kep and show me.

the recipient was willing to put in effort, money and time (usually at least four years) working towards a goal. In addition, and here is where the value of general education comes in, a degree often requires one to take classes unrelated to their field of study.

The ability to adapt to, and succeed, when challenged with something completely unrelated to what you are used to is a highly valued skill for employers. In short, the motivation and perseverance necessary to get past all the hoops and hurdles in order to receive a degree ends up being the true value of the degree.

When looked at like this, school seems to

be little more than a sixteen-year endurance test. This goes against the idea that the primary purpose of school is gaining knowledge. However, it is of my opinion that this mindset of school as an endurance test is not necessarily negative. So I challenge you think about the purpose of school being going through school itself. Take advantage of your time in school to find what you’re interested in. And understand that your general education classes aren’t about what you learn, but that you did in fact learn it.

Because in the end, what you learn in school doesn’t matter—it’s what you demonstrate by continuing to attend.

Why what you learn in school doesn’t matter The subject of your degree isn’t as important to your future employment as the fact that you have one.

SAM BeCKMAnn Student Writer

You’ve heard the story. A graphic design major complaining about taking calculus.

An engineer despairing over art history.

The night before an exam, you often hear something along the lines of “when will I ever need this?” Well, the answer is probably never.

When you graduate and enter the workforce, chances are If you are just going to school to get a degree and learn your field, then you will never need to know the majority of the material in your general education requirements. So why have them?

If you want to be a mechanical engineer, why should your graduation depend on knowing the difference between Manet and Monet? Well, this leads us to the economic

In an effort to foster respect and understanding between majors, “Major Misconceptions” debuts with six clarifications about the nursing major. oLiViA BLAnKenSHiP Staff Writer

Often times, when I tell someone I am a nursing major, it becomes quite apparent that most people have an extremely misinformed view of the nursing profession and the life of a nursing major. I’m met with one of two responses: “Oh, good for you. You’ll have no problem finding a job!” or “Oh … why not be a doctor?” Both responses, while I’m sure are well meaning, drive me insane.

I’m writing today to debunk some common misconceptions.

1. nurses are not the doctors’ lackeys.

They are highly trained professionals with vast medical knowledge. They don’t just change bed sheets and clean up crap. Nor do nurses answer to doctors. Most often, nurses are overseen by other nurses who are higher up on the chain. Nurses basically do everything in regards to patient care. That includes treating patients, providing care plan strategies, teaching patients how to lead a healthy life, administering and teaching a patient about their medication, and providing physical, emotional, and spiritual support. Basically, nurses save lives. Both doctors and nurses are an integral part of the health care system.

2. Just because somebody graduates with a bachelor’s degree in nursing Science does not mean they are guaranteed a job. Facilities don’t hire just anybody. They look for experience and a strong educational background as well as personal qualities such as compassion, a desire to care for people and the ability to actually work well and communicate with not only your patients but also your colleagues.

concept of signaling. When a company goes to hire someone, they often have limited information about the potential candidates.

As such, they often look for ‘signals’ that a particular candidate possesses skills or qualities that they desire. One of these signals is whether or not an applicant has a degree. If companies just care whether or not someone has passed classes pertaining to their major, there shouldn’t be much of a disparity between those applicants with degrees and those who almost had one: possessing all the knowledge for a particular field, just not the piece of paper. However, if we use income brackets as a way to measure how much companies value a degree, it turns out there is a huge gap between those who completed a degree and those who almost did. Companies care about the piece of paper.

So what does this have to do with your general education requirements? It relates back to exactly what a degree ‘signals.’ First, the piece of paper lets companies know

3. i chose to do nursing. I don’t want to be a doctor. I’ve never wanted to be a doctor.

I didn’t start out with pre-med and decide it was too hard and then switch to nursing.

Nurses and student nurses are extremely smart, with a vast knowledge of healthcare and medicine. Also, I don’t think people realize how intense nursing school is. Our curriculum covers an extremely broad and dense amount of information in four years.

We start working and learning in health care facilities the spring semester of our sophomore year. I did not choose nursing because it is an easy way to get a good job in health care. I chose it because I’m passionate about it, and I love the patient care aspect of it.

4. Hollywood nurses do not accurately depict the nursing profession. This isn’t Scrubs, in which nurses secretly sleep with all the doctors. Nor is this House, in which nurses are the incompetent flunkies that are at doctors’ beck and call.

5. Nursing is not just a women’s field.

Men have been involved in nursing from very early on. In the ’70s, a man named Luther Christman advocated for advanced nursing degrees, such as the BSN (what TU nursing students are currently working toward). He also founded the American Assembly of Men in Nursing.

6. not all nurses are the same, and not every nurse works in a hospital. Like doctors, nurses specialize in a vast array of fields and may work towards many different degrees. A nurse can earn an associate’s, bachelor’s, master’s or doctorate. They can work as a home care nurse, a traveling nurse, an army nurse, a nurse midwife, a school nurse, a nurse that does research, a director of nursing, a nurse educator and so on.

Now, this article is not supposed to be me whining about my major. My sole goal is to help enlighten some of you about the nursing major and contribute to your respect and understanding of nursing students.

13 oCtober 2014

the Collegian: 9

Oklahoma alcohol laws unsuitably strict Oklahoma’s alcohol laws make life difficult for consumers and businesses alike.

MorGAn KrUeGer Features Editor

Elias Brinkman/Collegian

Raise minimum wage, alleviate poverty If the government raises the minimum wage, more people would surpass the poverty line, and jobs would not necessarily be lost. nATe BeCKeMeYer

Student Writer The Collegian’s cover article this week reports on poverty in Oklahoma. Raising minimum wage is one way to combat poverty.

The evidence in many studies on the effects of minimum wage on poverty indicates that raising minimum wage would decrease the amount of jobs available but also decrease overall poverty. We, as a country, need to increase minimum wage.

According to a paper by Arin Dube, a UMass Amherst economist who analyzed twelve studies (but excluded one study for questionable research methodology), increasing minimum wage by 10 percent would decrease poverty by 2 percent. The CBO concurs that raising the minimum wage decreases poverty; if the minimum wage is increased to $10.10, like the Fair Minimum Wage Act of 2013 suggests, then families making less than six times the poverty level will see a rise in their family income (see graphic). In total, it concludes that a net of 900,000 people will rise out of poverty by 2016 because of the increase in minimum wage.

On the other hand, the CBO also predicts that approximately 500,000 workers will lose their jobs. But the exact effect of raising minimum wage on employment is a major question in economics: John Schmitt, a Senior Economist at the Center for Economic and Policy Research in Washington, D.C., authored a 2013 Center for Economic Policy and Research paper attempting to explain the study that concluded that minimum wage has had no discernible effect on employment. This study, another by Dube, compared employment rates among every pair of neighboring counties with different minimum wages between 1990 and 2006. In fact, the president of the American Federation of Labor and Congress of Industrial Organizations, Richard Trumka, also observed that “Every time momentum builds for lifting wages, conservative ideologues say

it will cost jobs. Every time, they’ve been dead wrong.”

We, as a country, are obligated to raise the minimum wage to reduce poverty in the United States. There is significant evidence that if the minimum wage is raised, nearly one million people will rise above the poverty threshold, whereas there is no

Courtesy Congressional Budget Office

clear consensus as to the effect of a higher minimum wage on job loss. Fundamentally, reducing poverty should be a major goal for our country. Economically speaking, increasing the income of low-income workers will increase the amount of money spent on services and goods, which could stimulate

It is no secret that Oklahoma has some of the strictest alcohol laws in the country.

Such laws can harm business and greatly inconvenience customers.

Rules begin with who can sell alcohol and when.

A beverage that is more than 4 percent alcohol by volume or 3.2 percent alcohol by weight can only be sold in a licensed liquor store. This rule includes liquor, wines and many beers. Plus, the drinks can only be sold at room temperatures, so the beverages cannot be sold chilled.

This means convenience stores and supermarkets typically sell only low-point beer, defined as a beverage of between 0.5 percent and 3.2 percent alcohol. These can be refrigerated.

Such limitations can and have scared away business. Trader Joe’s has not yet come to Oklahoma because they would not be able to sell wine in their stores.

Liquor stores cannot sell corkscrews, glassware or mixers, while stores that sell mixers, glassware and corkscrews can’t sell liquor! Each type of store loses a huge chunk of business. Plus, it forces consumers to go to two different stores to get their alcohol and alcohol accessories.

Most people know it is illegal to sell packaged liquor on Sundays in Oklahoma. What you may not know is that you also can’t sell it on Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving Day and Christmas.

So plan ahead for that Labor Day barbeque, or you may be stuck drinking water with those hot dogs.

The hours you can sell liquor have also been restricted. Liquor stores can only be open from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. In grocery stores and convenience stores low-point beers cannot be sold between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m.

Then there is underage drinking. If you are a minor, you cannot have a blood alcohol level of more than .02 percent. It is a felony to provide alcoholic beverages to persons under 21 years of age in the state of Oklahoma.

Furthermore, someone caught letting a person under 21 drink on his or her property faces a fine and up to 5 years in prison.

Driving laws are one area that Oklahoma’s laws are pretty standard. You cannot drive with a blood alcohol content at or above .08 percent. You also cannot have an alcoholic beverage with a broken seal or an open bottle in a place accessible to the driver of a vehicle. the economy and encourage job growth.

The Fair Minimum Wage Act of 2013 suggests raising the minimum wage to $10.10 incrementally over two years, and thenceforth adjusting the minimum wage for inflation every three years, using the Consumer Price Index. This tenet will ensure that the poverty levels continue to decrease, and give us more information about what happens when minimum wage is raised slightly.

This bill is an example of an excellent way to combat poverty, as it ensures that minimum wage keeps going up and the number of people in poverty keeps going down. This bill has been introduced to the Senate but has yet to be voted on. Ultimately, raising the minimum wage will decrease poverty levels. Though it might reduce jobs, it will help our country overall.

Struggle not over for LGBTQ community Although gay marriage is now legal in Oklahoma, the LGBTQ community still has not achieved social equality.

ABiGAiL LABoUnTY Variety Editor

On Oct. 6, the U.S. Supreme Court rejected appeals on same sex marriage bans from 5 states: Utah, Wisconsin, Virginia, Indiana and Oklahoma. The decision brings the number of states where gay marriage is legal to twenty-nine, tipping it over the halfway point.

This has been seen as a huge victory for the LGBTQ community as a whole, but we still have a long way to go towards acceptance and equality. There are still huge gaps

mer based on what kind of food is nearby.

I can’t imagine having to base my whole life around whether I can marry the person I love or not. And when it comes to antidiscrimination laws that promise basic human rights, even fewer states are LGBTQ friendly.

Only twenty-one states have laws against discrimination based on gender identity or sexual orientation, and 4 of those exclude gender identity. Gay couples can legally adopt in twenty-three states, with 8 states actively blocking their petitions.

Things are better in some areas of the law. Laws that address hate crimes based on gender identity and sexual orientation exist in 15 states, with 15 more states addressing hate crimes based on sexual orientation

motivated hate crimes as the second most common hate crime.

Furthermore, out of the 29 states that now allow same sex marriage, only three of them were legalized by popular vote. The rest were decided by state legislatures and courts.

When it comes to representation in the media, the numbers are pretty low. Representation is important because it’s a way of

showing people struggling with their own identity that they’re not alone. The amount of scripted recurring LGBT characters in prime time television is 3.9 percent. This is up from 3.3 percent last year, but not quite the 4.4 percent of 2012.

Despite recent gains made in legal equality for LGTBQ rights, there’s still a long way to go, especially in the social scene.

“This has been seen as a huge victory for the LGBTQ community as a whole, but we still have a long way to go towards acceptance and equality” in legal equality for LGBTQ individuals, not to mention a huge lack of social equality.

Gay marriage legalization in over half of US states feels huge compared to ten but when you stop and take a look at it, that’s still just over half of the states. I spend a ton of time deciding where to spend my sum-

alone. Despite the fact that there are more legal penalties for these crimes than others, the social realities do not reflect the legal stance. According to FBI data, hate crimes against LGBTQ individuals are actually on the rise and have now surpassed religiously

Courtesy Times Union

Sharon Baldwin (left) and Mary Bishop (right) pose with Judge Jane Wiseman after getting married on Monday.

variety

the Collegian : 10

13 October 2014

Emptiness preferable to writing for the Collegian Existentialism Editors Kyle Walker and William Boogert were supposed to write this week’s edition of the Void, but after attending Sunday’s McFarlin Lecture in Philosophy entitled “The Non-Existence of Human Beings,” they decided that writing an article at the beck and call of the campus newspaper would be inauthentic, and that, in order to live a life most in accord with their innermost selves, they would have to forcefully reject our calls for their article. Instead, they recommended that we leave this space blank, saying “Better that the reader face a void in the newspaper than the void at the center of their being.” With that introduction, please enjoy this empty space.

Elias Brinkman / Collegian

Gravity Falls more than your typical cartoon Student Writer Steven Buchele really loves Gravity Falls and believes the show appeals to adults as well as children. He’s here to tell you why you should love it too.

Despite its last season being terribly mismanaged, one American cartoon managed to overcome inevitable mediocrity for another season with the assistance of critical acclaim and the support of a dedicated digital fanbase. I’m not speaking of The Legend of Korra, but Gravity Falls.

Gravity Falls chronicles the strange and supernatural adventures of Mabel and Dipper Pines, two twelve-year-old twins shipped off by their parents to spend a summer with their Gruncle (Great-Uncle) Stan, a cheapskate con-artist running a tourist trap museum of the odd, macabre and “totally-notfake” in the titular town of Gravity Falls, Oregon.

The show drags Bigfoot and his cryptozoological ilk where they’ve never been before: a humorous cartoon ostensibly for teens and early tweens. There is so much more than incredible animation to this show. Gravity Falls is layered like an ogre.

The enduring and surprisingly life-like relationship of Mable and Dipper provides the solid base upon which the show rests. Where some portrayals of siblings on television are hardly deeper than the familial label, Gravity Falls hits all the right notes when it shows the annoyance, love, rivalry, comradery, stress and other minutiae of a sibling relationship.

Anybody with a close sibling will immediately recognise this as a very real relationship, not a “perfect” one. And the chemistry

between the two is such that the whole show would be incredibly enjoyable if it was just these two characters.

Thankfully it’s not. The show uses this relationship as a rock solid base to build an incredibly rich and rewarding show. The humor in the show is spot on. This is not a kid’s show with some jokes for adults thrown in. It is constantly operating on two levels and amazingly pulling off both fantastically well.

Even the “kids” level is enjoyable and supports the more selfaware level for the older audience.

Somehow the show manages an incredible balance of being lighthearted and innocent but always suggesting the possibility of the dark and disturbed.

Displaying an awareness rarely seen in television, creator Alex Hirsch taps the conspiracy nut inside us. Gravity Falls invites viewers to try to understand half clues hidden throughout the series to answer several huge questions looming over the story.

And if that isn’t engaging enough, another dose of intrigue is injected into the show by clever easter eggs, clues and mysterious codes. Cyphers and cryptograms, mysterious symbols, backwards whispers and literal blink-andyou’ll-miss-it clues are scattered throughout anything related to Gravity Falls, scurrying up interest and speculation.

More than just driving speculation, these clues and secrets cause an audience to feel something they can’t with other shows on television. Gravity Falls makes you feel like you are part of a secret society. You may not be able to be part of the Illuminati, but you can still feel kind of like you are when you are working on discovering the secrets of Gravity Falls.

A scene from the popular animated series Gravity Falls in which Mabel and Dipper are adventuring.

Hozier releases soulful new album Student Writer Connor Hasting relates the beauty of Andrew Hozier-Byrne’s debut album.

The Irish singer-songwriter Hozier, pronounced like hose-ee-air, recently released his self titled album worldwide. If you haven’t had the pleasure of hearing the opening song “Take me to Church” yet, then put this paper down and go listen to it right now. Notice how it pulls you in with his powerful yet calming voice.

Throughout the album his voice stands out and is enhanced by the creative instruments. His use of

When the undead want to make a meal of you, you need a plan!

Student Writer Meagan Collins has 10 tips to defeat “The Walking Dead,” be “Sean of the Dead” and survive “World War Z.” 1.] Hide in the piano labs, the mini student lounge or inside the purple sombreros at the Lorton PAC. No one remembers those places anyway, and you can use the legs of piano stools as clubs.

2.] The chemistry labs in Keplinger would be too obvious. Instead, set up a barricade in a downstairs hallGraphic courtesy dragoart.com

Courtesy MKALTY

way with the couches while chucking your oversized and overpriced textbooks at the undead monsters.

3.] The library. So what if it’s even more obvious? Just about anywhere is safe there, but try the roof, special collections and compact storage in the lowest level for more security.

4.] Phillips Hall is the unsung hero of survival tactics. With enough sculpting tools to perform surgery, you will be well equipped for slicing and dicing rotten flesh. And let’s not forget the kiln!

angelic choir harmonies, tambourines, clapping, guitar, bird chirps and piano perfectly support his bluesy voice. The unique combinations create an overwhelmingly fun set of tracks.

All of Hozier’s lyrics tackle tough subjects: sexuality, love, religion and death. For instance “Take me to Church” criticizes the Catholic Church’s treatment of sexuality, and homosexuality in particular. “Sedated” is about a man who is addicted to drugs and ends up pulling his girlfriend into it. “In a Week” is about a couple lying together in the Wicklow hills considering passing on together.

Hozier’s smart and explorative lyrics express much more than what’s on the surface. He emphasizes dualities: how romance can be restorative and destructive, how people are inherently good and evil, and how beauty can emerge from death. Intelligent lyrics portray meanings without actually saying them. I’ll let you figure out what he really means when he says “take me to church.”

All in all, this album is for fans of blues, R&B, gospel or soul, and it will make everyone else a fan of these genres. His rich lyrics, powerful voice and creativity make for a fun listen.

5.] Set a few treadmills in front of the doors and you’re prepared to pick off the undead one by one at the Collins Fitness Center. While you stupidly wait for help to come, you can reload your weapons and stock up on guns.

bright colors, it’s a perfect place to hide. Accidently shake a bush?

The zombies will think it’s a bunny or something, right?

6.] The Reynolds Center is our Millennium Falcon. Shaped similarly to the Star Wars spacecraft, you could play hide and seek with the stuff of nightmares. You are warned that you might act like Han Solo as your friends are picked off in the dark.

7.] Don’t go to the Caf. Or your dorm! Don’t even think about the football and soccer fields or tennis courts.

8.] Oliphant ecosystem (It’s really a fairy garden). Do that. If you can stand spiders and don’t wear

9.] While it may attract a horde of walkers at first, the Student Union might be the most valuable place on campus. From kitchen supplies and high vantage points, the architects knew exactly what to plan for. Kudos to them for saving our lives.

10.] If you suck at hiding and fear you’ll be eaten first, don’t worry!

You only have to run faster than students shuffling off to take an exam. They’re the real living dead you have to watch out for.

variety

13 october 2014

the Collegian : 11

Modern Baseball amped up for tour

Modern Baseball is a pop punk emo band from Philadelphia currently on tour with Gnarwolves, The Story So Far and The Wonder Years. Apprentice Editor and unashamed pop punk aficionado Sara Douglas spoke with Jake Ewald, guitarist and vocalist for Modern Baseball, about the band’s history, touring experiences and music.

You’re college students, correct?

Yeah, all but one.

So you’re taking a semester off to tour?

Brendan’s got the semester off, and me and Ian are at a school where it’s a term schedule, so we can take off like three months at a time, which is nice; go on a tour, go back to school.

What are you all studying?

Brendan’s studying communications, Sean graduated with a film degree, and me and Ian are studying music recording.

You plan to keep the band together after college and just keep doing music?

Yeah, totally. I think we have like about a collective year left.

How’s this tour going so far?

Pretty cool. We toured with the Wonder Years back in the spring and got to know them really well back then, so it’s nice to just be able to hang out again. Story So Far and the Gnarwolves we just met on this tour but they’re all awesome.

The shows have been crazy, which is really cool. There’s a lot of driving because it’s not major cities so everything is really far apart, so that’s more work, but other than that it’s awesome.

Wonder Years and Story So Far are larger than you and the Gnarwolves. Have they taken you under their wing and shown you how the tour process works?

We definitely got that with Wonder Years back in the spring, but it’s still the same thing now. They’ve always made us feel like it’s never been an intimidating thing, it’s always just been like “let us help you with whatever you want,” or “hang out with us.” A lot of times, even on that first tour where we were the very opening band and they were the headlining band, they would sometimes put us in the same Green Room and we would hang out. Little things like that just mean a lot.

It’s funny with the Story So Far because they’re blowing up but they’re still really young guys. We’re kind of in the same boat because they’re just, like, dudes who like skateboarding, obviously. So it’s really cool to see them growing into where they are. They’ve been getting crazy huge responses on this tour, which is awesome. It’s a cool mix of all kinds of different people and different places and their band’s careers.

So how did the band come together?

Me and Brendan are from Maryland, where we went to high school, and Sean and Ian both went to high school in New Jersey.

Then we all came to college in Philadelphia and that’s where we met. Brendan’s the only one who didn’t go to Drexel University, but I knew him from home, so I’d be like “Hey, come hang out!”

Do you have a favorite song to perform when you’re on

Knowing music ruins it Whether it’s playing music or writing a program, once you work hard on something it becomes easier to critique. Student Writer Meagan Collins relates her struggles in listening to music as a musician.

Whether you play the timpani, clarinet, viola, banjo or even sing, you are out of luck. Yeah, you’re talented and that’s great, but that makes it even worse. Ever watched The Voice and thought you could do better than that? Been to a concert and cringed when someone forgot how key signatures work?

F# is so not F natural, right? And you know that’s a sharp sign, not a hashtag.

These are all signs that you’re a musician and you’re doomed.

No cellist will ever play Canon in D at his or her wedding nor can violinists go to their little siblings’ middle school concerts.

The Empire Strikes Back, Pomp and Circumstance, Pirates of the Caribbean and Coldplay are forever off limits.

Why, you may ask? (If you’re asking, it’s probably because you aren’t musically inclined.)

Well, in short, it’s because once you understand music, really understand it, you know intimately what’s good and what’s bad.

Your ears are used to hearing someone say that that is too sharp or too flat or the vibrato is so tight you might cramp your whole hand. You understand the fundamentals of rhythm and find yourself nodding on down beats at praise and worship, rock concerts or simply walking down the street.

(I’m talking to the marching band on this one.) You know when someone hits a note just right and when he or she hits it okay but it could have been better. Nonmusicians either fall asleep or are in complete awe. My family has certainly been guilty of both.

You analyze performances like the southern states analyze a football game. Oh, bad technique.

They totally could have made that shift if they had better practice habits. Fumble on the transition!

Those who don’t understand ask “Is that wooden one standing up a big fiddle or a cello?” “Is the horn thing in the wind or string section?” Or they simply clap at the slightest pause in a piece. You know better, but you wish you could share in their ignorant bliss.

However, it’s not all bad. Being a musician is a special breed of mastery. Like playing with someone’s heartstrings, you know exactly what to do, when to do it and how to do it to get a desired effect.

While you may have to give false smiles and empty applause to not appear so crass or say how you really feel and appear pedantic, when you hear good music you’re quick to give praise and maybe a hallelujah chorus for good measure.

There’s a lot of terrible music out there, and you’ll be the first to recognize it, but you’ll also be the first to run into the best music anyone has ever heard. Of course, once you find it, you have to learn how to play it too for others’ enjoyment. And you most certainly know all too well how much work is put into playing a great piece of music.

So, even though the musician life can be hard (no engineering paychecks for you), you have a talent many don’t and wished they did possess. I’m sorry you can’t enjoy recorder solos or watch a 6th grader play violin without cringing unless you’re his or her teacher, but that is life, like a monk in meditation surrounded by five o’clock traffic.

Most other times are quite wonderful, if not magical, but those insane few leave you wondering why you shaved your head in the first place.

Sara Douglas / Collegian

Modern Baseball guitarist and vocalist Jake Ewald plays during a show at Cain’s Ballroom. The show featured Modern Baseball, as well as Gnarwolves, The Story So Far and The Wonder Years.

stage? Or one that gets the most audience response?

Most audience response is definitely “Your Graduation,” which is pretty fun. But I think my favorite is ... what’s the actual name? ...

“Old Gospel Choir.” Before this tour, we knew how to play live about maybe half of the songs on the new record and half of the songs on the old record, but right before this tour, we did a UK headlining tour where we had to play for an hour every night. We didn’t even know that many songs! So we sat down and learned the rest of the songs on each record, and that was definitely my favorite.

Are there any specific concert experiences that have stuck in your memory for one reason or another? Maybe the biggest venue you’ve played, or the smallest?

For us as a band, one of the coolest things that has happened to us was last month when we played Riot Fest in Chicago. We were just really stoked to play because it was a bunch of crazy bands. We just got to see the Get Up Kids, Weezer, stuff like that. We weren’t really expecting to have a great, crazy response; we just thought it’d be cool to play because there were so many different bands playing at the same time, but we had about a couple thousand people watching us on stage and going crazy.

Yesterday, the guy who runs Riot Fest tweeted something at us in praise, and I think somebody wrote an article about Riot Fest and we were mentioned in there, so it was really, really cool.

Have you been to any other festivals as a band?

I feel like this year we definitely started doing a lot more. When we

were in the UK, we played a really cool festival in Barcelona. That was really fun. It was our first time in Spain. They had a huge music festival that the city has every year. There was classical music, rock music, all types of bands. It’s one of those free events where an entire city will show up just to have fun, not to see a specific band. This year, the guy who was in charge of booking the event’s rock stage just happened to be a huge fan of us.

So we just got lucky because this one dude who got put in charge just called all of us and said, “Hey, we’re gonna fly you to Barcelona to play this show.” We were like, “Whhhaatt??!!”

We went to the UK in the spring and played Slam Dunk Fest, which was three days. The funniest part is that a lot of times they’re catered, so the people who run it will cook food for you. All of the bands, from the smallest bands to the largest bands, will eat in the same room. You’ll go get food and see the guy from All American Rejects getting rice or something, and you’re like “Ahahahha yaay!”

What bands have served as your biggest inspirations? Is it small bands that you interact with in the Philly area or big bands that you grew up listening to?

It’s kind of a combination. Two of our huge influences are Say Anything and Motion City Soundtrack. They’re the bands that got us into writing music.

Motion City Soundtrack also played at Slam Dunk Fest, so we got to watch them for three days, which was really awesome.

In regards to smaller bands, we came up as a band playing basement shows in Philly. That was a really good environment. There are so many kids there who make

music a really important part of their lives. People there are really into live music, so many bands start. Every one of your friends has a different band, and you all draw influences from each other. Bands from Philly like the Menzingers, Girl Scouts, Cayetana—a bunch of cool Philly bands hanging out with each other.

Have you gotten any advice from larger bands that have helped you be successful and that you would pass on to aspiring bands?

There’s one thing that’s never been directly told to us but that we’ve taken away from a lot of other bands that we’ve come in contact with: just be a fucking nice guy. It will get you so much farther than anything else you could possibly do. Just don’t have an ego in any situation, or think you know how it’s going to go. Because you never know how anything is going to go.

But the Wonder Years, for instance—even when they first took us out, even in 2000-capped rooms across the whole country where a lot of them sell out, and they can pay their bills from this band—they’re just a bunch of dudes from Philly who like the same stuff that we like. There are no egos with anybody, and it’s great.

If you’re mean, and you’re in a band, then people aren’t going to want to book your band or bring your band on tour. It sounds kind of dumb because it’s obvious.

But you also have a lot of fun that way. Everything seems like a blessing as it comes along instead of, “Oh, we deserved this and we deserved that,” if you look at it in an optimistic way. Everything is, “Oh, woah, that’s really cool!” So just be nice.

Film festival visits Tulsa

Student Writers Trent Gibbons and Katy Nichols discuss the deadCENTER Film Festival.

Tulsa’s independent non-profit theater, the Circle Cinema, hosted the deadCENTER Film Festival last week as part of its 10th anniversary celebration. deadCENTER is an Oklahoma original film festival. It has premiered in Oklahoma City and Tulsa. The two-day event opened with a 5:30 p.m. reception on Friday, October 3rd.

For the past 14 years, deadCENTER has traveled with thousands of films and featured them all over the United States.

According to their website, “Our mission is to promote, encourage and celebrate the independent film. We accomplish this mission with a renowned festival each June, a year-round education program and screenings throughout the year in partnerships with museums and various arts organizations.” deadCENTER was even featured in MovieMaker magazine as one of the top 20 coolest film festivals to attend.

The festival prides itself on the strong presence of Tulsa natives featured in its selection. Most

prominent is “The Widowers,” a dark comedy created by TU graduates Peter Meister, Jonathan Chinn and Katie Irish. The film is about two widowers whose friendship suffers as they attend grief counseling at a retreat. Meister played the main role for “The Widowers” while Chinn directed. Irish, now married to Chinn, designed the costumes.

Also debuting was “Light from the Darkroom,” a thriller about two friends distraught over their friends’ mysterious disappearance during a religious pilgrimage. Also showing was the charming biographic film previously acclaimed at Sundance, “To Be Takei.” The 94-minute film explores the life and behavior of George Takei, a gay Japanese-American whose careers in acting and activism reflect his wish to overcome common stereotypes.

On Saturday, screenings opened with “Beauty is Embarrassing,” an award-winning biopic following Wayne White, a rural-born pop-culture artist who started as a humble NYC cartoonist but gained fame through his role in creating the children’s show “Pee Wee’s Playhouse.” Shown later, “Best of Okie Shorts” was just that: a compilation of independent Oklaho-

man short films.

Genres here ranged from comedy, such as “The Adventures of Banzai Bill,” in which a young wannabe caped crusader teases his grouchy neighbor, to morbid dramas like “Hana,” where a dying old man reflects on a past love, to still more documentaries, such as “Nobody: A Journey Through Homelessness.”

Next was “The Posthuman Project,” a comedic-action film about high school students that inherit supernatural abilities whilst on a rock-climbing trip. Finally, the last announced screening was “This May Be The Last Time.” The film follows director Sterlin Harjo’s investigation of his family history, especially the 1962 disappearance of his grandfather.

In addition to film showings were nightly parties where guests could discuss the films with the independent filmmakers themselves. In an effort to encourage attendance and spread film appreciation, the event also offered free film seminars for high school students and free film screenings for children. deadCENTER has already announced the next tour of their festival, expected to happen June 10–14, 2015.

the Collegian : 12

variety

TU performs the Glass Menagerie

Student Writer Hannah Kloppenburg discusses the TU Department of Theatre and Musical Theatre’s production of Tennessee Williams’ classic play, The Glass Menagerie.

Tennessee Williams’ “The Glass Menagerie” is set in St. Louis during the Great Depression and focuses on the troubles of a small urban family. Tom (Chris Jett) and Laura (Cait Rudd) are the adult children of Amanda (Machele Miller Dill). All three struggle with the memory of their father, who left the family years ago to pursue his own travels.

Money is tight, and Tom reluctantly works in a warehouse to keep the family afloat while simultaneously dreaming of adventure and a life as a writer. His sister, Laura, has a permanent limp and is “dreadfully shy” to the point of being unable to operate in social situations. Amanda is desperate to find a gentleman caller (and eventually a husband) for Laura, and complications ensue when Tom invites his friend Jim (Ryan Box) to dinner for this purpose.

“The Glass Menagerie” is performed on the premise that what the audience is seeing is a portrayal of Tom’s memories. For this reason, we understand its events from his perspective. Creative use of lighting and music shifts the play from a realistic and well-lit scene at one moment to a dreamlike, hazy mood the next, enhances the emotions of all the characters and creates the illusion of a misty memory.

The play has an interesting structure in which one of the characters, Tom, is also the narrator, and breaks from the action from time to time to share his thoughts with the

audience. The narrative bits were something that particularly stood out to me. Williams’ writing here is haunting and poetic, and when accompanied by lighting and music, paints a vivid picture in the audience’s mind with seemingly little effort. Overall, the play is extremely well-written. It’s engaging in an unconventional way, and Jett delivers the narration beautifully.

The complexity of the characters and the skill of the actors who portray them gives this play its life. Rudd’s portrayal of Laura’s crippling social anxiety is unsettlingly real, from her tiniest gestures to the tremor in her voice. Dill’s performance as the sugarysweet and tempestuous Amanda is particularly noteworthy in her ability to make the audience love, hate and sympathize with her in turn. The complexities of the characters’ relationships with one another and their desperate longings for some sort of a better existence (whether in the past or the future) are brought to life in a painfully real way by an outstanding cast.

A fair warning—“The Glass Menagerie,” despite being peppered with dry humor and a bit of comic relief in the portrayal of the overbearing Amanda, is not a happy play.

Not in the slightest. The onslaught of conflicting emotions is almost overwhelming to the viewer and may seem slightly forced at first, but by the end of the play you will be totally engaged. And the ending scene?

Abrupt, haunting and stunning. I highly recommend that you head over to Kendall Hall to see this play—you won’t regret it.

The Glass Menagerie runs at the Chapman Theatre in Kendall Hall October 9–11 at 8 p.m., Oct. 12 at 2 p.m., Oct. 16–17 at 8 p.m. and Oct. 19 at 2 p.m.

13 October 2014

Puzzle 1 (Very hard, difficulty rating 0.77)

6

4

5

1 4

5

8 3 2

4

1

9

1

4

5

9

9 7

6

1 5

6

9

6

3

5

5

5

6

3 2

Brains. Brains. Braaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnnnns. Braaaiins. Braaaaaaaiiiins. Brains. Braains. Brains. Brains. Brains.

Braiiins. Delicious Brains. Braaiiiiiins. Braaaaaaaaaiiiiins. Brainy Brains. Braain Brain Brains. Brainnns.

Generated by Yummy http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on SunBrains.

Oct 12Braaaiiins.

21:53:06 2014 GMT.Trail Enjoy!

Braaaainins.

Brains. Gastronomically pleasing Braaains. Yum. Oregon Brains. Brainnnnnnnnn. Chomp chomp chomp chomp: chewing on brains. Brains. Braaains. Brains.

Braaaiiiiinnnnnns. Sit still, and do the Soduko. Do not look behind you. Brains.

Fall Fling falls flat

Connor Hasting / Collegian

Rain and cold temperatures kept crowds away from the Fall Fling at Guthrie Green this weekend. The party featured different DJs every hour.

Student Writers Sam Chott and Connor Hasting attended Fall Fling at the Guthrie Green this weekend. Unfortunately, almost no one showed up.

The Guthrie Green was the hippest, baddest, raddest place to be last Friday night. DJ Moody, Darku J and DJ WillDaBeast dropped some sick party beats for the Fall Fling Dance Party.

Due to the weather, it was moved from the lawn of the Green to the covered dock area on the north side of the park. The show was all ages, and Lucky’s on the green provided a cash bar for everyone 21 and over.

The event is a continuation of the Guthrie Green’s “Fling” events originating with the 2013 Spring Fling. Since then, The Guthrie Green has held one event in their DJ series every season.

Since Summer Fling 2013, the event has partnered with Red Bull to continue to bring live DJs to the Green. The event series continues because “Nothing breaks down barriers in our community like grooving to pulsating music with the Tulsa skyline in the background.”

The music consisted of some pretty great mashups including Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls,” but the weather was so cold that almost no one showed up. The event was advertised as a dance party, but there was actually only one group of people dancing.

Most of the people that did show up just sat around talking.

Despite our insistence that it solves anything, not even a “Let It Go” mashup would have saved the night. The beats were just as sick as advertised, but because of the weather and low turnout, the baddest dance party of the year just fell flat.

The Collegian is the independent student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law in its programs, services, aids, or benefits.

Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, 918-631-2616. Requests for accommodation of disabilities may be addressed to the University’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Taylor, 918-631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpreter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accommodations.

Advertising Policy: Advertising appearing in this publication does not imply approval or endorsement by the University of Tulsa or The Collegian for the products or services advertised. For advertising information, email The Collegian at collegian@utulsa.edu or jesse-keipp@utulsa.edu. The deadline for advertising is 12 p.m. on the Friday prior to the publication. Editing Policy: The Collegian reserves the right to edit all copy submitted by all writers.

This editing may take place in many forms, including grammar corrections, changes in paragraph structure or even the addition or removal of sections of content. Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opinions of the entire Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers. Letter Policy: Letters to the editor must be less than 500 words. While we do not require it, letters sent via e-mail to the Collegian are encouraged. Under no circumstances will anonymous letters be published. The name of the person submitting the letter must be published with the letter. We reserve the right to edit or reject all letters. The deadline for letters is 5 p.m. on the Saturday prior to publication.

editor-in-chief—Kyle Walker managing editor—Conor Fellin news editor—Nikki Hager sports editor—Matt Rechtien variety editor—Abigail LaBounty commentary editor—Giselle Willis satire editor—Fraser Kastner apprentice editor—Sara Douglas photo & graphics editor—Sarah Power feature & layout editor—Morgan Krueger copy editor—Will Boogert, Amanda Hagedorn business & advertising manager—Jesse Keipp distribution manager—Witt “of the” Womack web manager—Sam Chott

13 oCtober 2014

the Collegian : 13

TRUE BLUE NEIGHBORS IS NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR THE MARCY LAWLESS SERVICE AWARD

tudents graduating in December 2014 or May 2015 who demonstrate a generous spirit, creativity, vision, pursuit of excellence, and commitment to serving others both on campus and in the greater Tulsa community are eligible to receive the Marcy Lawless Service Award. Applications can be found at the Student Affairs Office in Allen Chapman Student Union, Housing Office in Fisher Hall, Registration and Records Office in McClure Hall, and the True Blue Neighbors Volunteer Center in Sharp Chapel, Room 209. All applications must be submitted to the True Blue Neighbors

Volunteer Center by noon on Friday, October 24.

Chuyi Wen / Collegian

HOMECOMING

2014 ALL AMERICAN Sunday, october 12th Kick-off party 6:30 - 8:00 pm, great hall

thursday, october 16th the drop 8:30 pm, dietler commons

monday, october 13th color run registration begins at 5:00 6:00 pm start, the union

friday, october 17th student and alumni breakfast 9:00 - 11:00 am, sharp plaza Homecoming bonfire 7:30 pm, dietler commons

tuesday, october 14th street painting 6:00 - 10:00 pm, 8th street wednesday, october 15th Pie eating contest and tailgate 5:30 - 7:00 pm, dietler commons

saturday, October 18th SA tailgate 9:00 am, game at 11:00 am chapman commons

#TUHOCO2014

Students painted pumpkins, lounged in horse-drawn carriages and danced to country music at SA’s Hurricane Hoedown on Tuesday, Oct. 7.

13 oCtober 2014

the

the State-rUn MeDia

State-Run media We tell you where you live and what you live for.

State-Run Media opens online store The State-Run Media will now be offering an online shopping service in an attempt to rid itself of dubiously gotten gains.

FrASer KASTner Legitimate Businessman

The State-Run Media is proud to proclaim that our online store will be opening this week. We look forward to this exciting new phase in our plan to infiltrate every aspect of American life, as well as running the largest legal use for bitcoin. Some of our exciting new products include: A cup of Mary’s Fallen Tears, shed shortly after gay couples were given the fundamental human right to marriage.

A stack of assorted manifestos, sent by crazy people who are un-

der the mistaken impression that the State-Run Media values its reader’s opinions.

Hunting rights to the last unicorn.

Fully functional iPhone 6 with 90 degree bend.

Goatpaper™, a service where a man comes to your house in the middle of the night and papers every wall in your house with pictures of goats.

President Upham’s pager number.

Kyle Walker’s suspenders (usable only by giants).

The position of Editor-In-Chief of the Collegian.

These and other high demand articles are available for a short time at www.staterunstore.org.

Beginning next week we will change the URL every two weeks for legal reasons.

Graphic by Elias Brinkman

One of the many products offered by the State-Run Media store, Mary’s Fallen Tears are said to grant the drinker enhanced appeal to people in high-income tax brackets.

Henry David Thoreau ‘‘covers’’ recent SA meeting Nineteenth century Transcendentalist Henry David Thoreau has transcended death in time for the latest SA meeting.

Not that he would know.

HenrY DAViD THoreAU Dirty Proto-Hippie

Editor’s note: This article was obtained only after someone went to look for Mr. Thoreau in the wilds of south Tulsa. Though he was nowhere to be found, some of his effects were noticed in a pile of refuse near the under construction Simon Outlet Mall near Turkey Mountain. Among them was this piece.

There comes a time in every man’s life when he must choose between doing what he knows he must do for himself—so that he can live in more perfect concord with his fellow man and with equal simplicity to Nature—and doing that which his newspaper so presumptuously assigns for him to accomplish—at such a time, the individual must take as duties only those prerogatives which have, as their origin, the bounteous wellspring of his innermost self and that push him ever to strive onward into the rarefied airs of the heights we call: Self Knowledge.

This the ancients knew to be the sine qua non of a life worth living, and for which reason, inscribed in the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi lay these words: γνῶθι σεαυτόν, Know Thyself.

So when, in the spring of this year, at that time when Mars rose opposite the setting sun, when I was asked by the editors of a humble weekly press to cover the activities of their duly elected local government, for inspiration I instead set forth to witness the governance of the plants among themselves, of the animals among themselves, and charted a course to their leafy kingdom atop Oliphant Hall, and there to live among its inhabitants until such a time as I have espied some example by which I and others might live; and thus to bring to the Student Association something which bare description could never provide: a purpose.

Now the reader knows where it was that I lived, and what it was

Photo by Sara Douglas, Graphic by Sarah Power

Henry David Thoreau, pictured here enjoying the greenhouse in Oliphant Hall with an intensity some later described as “deeply troubling.” Shortly after this photo was taken, Mr. Thoreau disappeared to be “at one with Nature.”

that I lived for.

I soon came to speak the language of the plants, and once accepted as one of their own—I found them a wonderfully agreeable people, eager to enter into fellowship with any species come to visit their glass-walled domain—I held great converse with them, wherein we spoke through the warm hours of the summer night, of the noble history of their fathers, and their fathers’ fathers, who had sprung from this selfsame soil countless seasons ago, and here settled their humble plot.

One day, as I sat beside the bougainvilleas, whose scent I loved most at this closing hour of the afternoon, I caught sight of a pair of ants so engrossed in Editor’s note: We regret that we had to cut Mr. Thoreau off here.

The manuscript went on for another hundred pages which, while beautiful and filled with profound transcendental reflections, are in no way concerned with the SA meeting he was sent to cover.

Giant sprinkler to replace 16,000 smaller ones Following more calls for environmentally sound infrastructure, TU has decided to install a giant sprinkler on top of McFarlin Library.

CAiTLin WooDS Inefficiency Expert

The University of Tulsa spends a lot of money on water every year.

The university also currently utilizes hundreds of individual sprinklers spread across campus, which water the grass at regular intervals keeping it well-hydrated and green. In an effort to cut back on water waste, the school has recently programmed the sprinklers not to turn on after a certain amount of rain has fallen.

However, the university has plans to go even further in the upcoming months by replacing the hundreds of individual sprinklers

with one giant sprinkler, mounted atop McFarlin library.

“We feel the current watering system is just too effective,” states Professor Rich E. Rich. “We really want our students and faculty to know just how committed we are to conservation, and what better way than to have an ineffective watering method?”

While the grass on campus may or may not receive much if any water from this new system, the sidewalks are a completely different story. “Oh, the water from the new sprinkler will barely make it past Kendall Hall,” reports Rich.

“We couldn’t afford to make the sprinkler too huge, so it will really just water the general vicinity of McFarlin. Some splashes might sometimes make it to the lawn in front of Oliphant, but it really depends on the wind that day.”

In anticipation for the inundation which will surely follow the installation of the new sprinkler,

plans are already underway for replacing all brick pavement with Slip ‘N Slides. “It’s a quick and effective way for students to get to class, and a practical use for all the water that will never make it to the lawn!” says Rich. Additionally, the lawns will continue to be mowed on a regular basis to ensure that dry, dusty grass clippings will be perpetually present on the Slip ‘N Slides, in order to preserve the authentic “Slip ‘N Slide experience.”

To anyone who thinks it would make more sense just to cut back on the number of sprinklers, Rich had this to say: “You just don’t understand conservation.

You have to make sacrifices, and sometimes those sacrifices include consolidating every single sprinkler into one gigantic one that sits on top of the library and does literally nothing.”