27 October 2014

It seemed like an ordinary homecoming. The students were merry, the streets were painted and the alumni out in force.

Late Friday night, as the bonfire threw long shadows across the Quad, no one suspected that in the coming hours, TU would be left wondering about the truth of its homecoming competition. Ringmasters of our media circus Michaela Flonard and Renan Kuntz report.

Last Saturday at the football game, after a week of Homecoming activities, the winners of the homecoming competition were announced as Delta Delta Delta Sorority and Kappa Alpha Fraternity. DDD and KA were one team, as sororities and fraternities pair up for Homecoming.

On Monday night, however, it was revealed that Fisher South, originally placed in third, had actually won Homecoming. The dorm won first place in both the street painting and yard board competitions, while DDD and KA got second in both.

Student Association President

Graphic by Sarah Power

Michael Mancini explained that those in charge of tallying the points “didn’t have everything added up” early Saturday morning, when the results were due.

They were “both up late Friday night and had to come in early Saturday morning” to tally points, Mancini said. However, they were still missing the yard board scores.

Although Mancini said, “In retrospect, I’m not sure announcing was the best decision,” he also felt that there “was really no way to make everyone happy” because “not announcing the winner would have

also angered some.”

Homecoming scores come from points for attendance and the varying competitions street painting, yard boards and pie eating. The yard boards are graded by TU alumni, and the results were not in early enough for SA to add them to each organization’s total. The “call was to give (the announcers) the best guess,” said Mancini.

Even without the yard board results, Fisher South should have been announced the winner. The Homecoming tally results, released Monday, show that DDD and KA had 23 points without their yard board score.

Fisher South had 40 points without the score, because they attended one more event than DDD/KA and won street painting. If DDD and KA had won yard boards, worth 10 points, Fisher would have still remained the overall winner.

Fisher South dormitory, however, did not know the problem with the yard board results over the weekend. Throughout Homecoming week, the Senior Resident Assistant and Resident Director of the building had kept close count of attendance and had met all goals.

With the results of the street painting, they knew “mathematically, (Fisher South) had a pretty good chance of placing top two or three,” said Lindsley Aycock, Fisher South’s Senior Resident Assistant.

“At first, it was just kind of disappointing (that we got third),” Aycock said, because “we worked really hard, and we thought we’d placed better than that.”

But then she and Resident Director Zane Hight began to wonder if “maybe something was miscalculated, maybe there was some kind of error in the amount of points” See The Big Slip, p. 4

Sports

the Collegian : 2

27 October 2014

Hurricane basketball done with practice, hungry for Big Dance

Basketball writer Joseph Edmunds writes about what we can expect from the C-USA 2013 champs this season.

The Golden Hurricane men’s basketball team is preparing for another strong season, after an appearance in the NCAA tournament last year. New head coach Frank Haith and some of the players took some time to talk about the season on media day this Thursday.

Coach Haith addressed the media about the team as the start of the season draws near. In his time since being named head coach on April 18th, Haith feels that he has a “good grasp” of what the team has to offer this year, but realizes that what he has seen has not yet been in a truly “competitive environment.”

He also recognizes that Tulsa has to play to its strength, which is “our speed and our quickness” when competing against opponents that are bigger, because the personnel

Collegian / Matt Rechtien

New baketball head coach Frank Haith poses during the media days on Thursday.

of the Golden Hurricane’s team is fit better for speed than size. Haith stated that “it’s exciting to note, when you have guys like Shaquille Harrison and Rashad Ray, who are really fast and powerful with the ball, that we can get into early offense with those guys.”

The team will play a 4 in, 1 out offense, focusing a lot on ball screens. He feels that the team is well prepared to compete in the conference, and looks to build off of last year’s success.

Tulsa will be the third school that has given Haith the reins at head coach. After spending 18 years as an assistant coach at six different universities, Haith broke into head coaching at the University of Miami (FL) in 2004. He spent seven years there; his best season came in 2007-2008, when Miami made it to the second round of the NCAA tournament.

When the University of Missouri’s head coach Mike Anderson left the program to take the vacant head coaching spot at the University of Arkansas in 2011, Haith departed Miami to take the Missouri job. In his first season at Missouri, the team posted a 30-5 record and won the Big 12 Conference tournament.

However, they faltered when it came to the NCAA tournament. A No. 2 seed, they faced No. 15 seed Norfolk State in their first game. In a shocking game, Missouri became the first No. 2 seed in 11 years to lose in the first round of the tournament.

Just two years after the disappointing tournament appearance, Haith’s third season at Missouri was clouded by allegations of improper recruiting that occurred while he was at Missouri.

He was suspended for five games, and Missouri only made it to the second round of the NIT tournament at the end of the season.

Finally, when Danny Manning left Tulsa to accept the head coaching position at Wake Forest, Haith made the move this summer to coach Tulsa.

Of the 6 players that started more than 20 games last year, 4 are returning. The only seniors on last year’s team were guard Barrett Hunter, who only played in 10 games,

Collegian / Matt Rechtien

From left to right: Freshman guard Micah Littlejohn (#11), junior guard Corey Haith (#2) and freshman guard Keondre Drew (Tulsa does have a plethora of guards now) pose for photographs during media days

and guard Tim Peete, who started all but one game.

Junior forward Lew Evans transferred from Tulsa to Wake Forest to follow Manning, hoping to stay in the same system.

This year’s team, though lacking seniors, features experience, with 10 juniors on the roster. With only two seniors departing from last year, the core of the team is still in place. The team leaders in points (guard James Woodard), assists and steals (guard Shaquille Harrison), and blocks (forward Brandon Swannegan) from a year ago are all juniors returning with the experience of the NCAA tournament.

This core will help the team to continue where they left off last year, and continue to build chemistry as the season goes.

A look to the schedule: Tulsa’s non-conference schedule has a mix of no-name teams and tough opponents.

Challenging away games include the MGM

Grand Main Event tournament that TU will be participating in, and a game in Wichita, KS against Wichita State, a team that went through the entire regular season undefeated just a year ago. There are also some strong non-conference opponents coming to play the Golden Hurricane at the Reynolds Center, including Creighton and in-state rival Oklahoma.

TU will face some stiff competition in a conference that includes the defending national champion University of Connecticut.

The Huskies were a No. 7 seed, and beat a No. 1, No. 2, No. 3, No. 4, No. 8, and No. 10 seed on their route to the championship.

The conference also features two other teams that played in the NCAA tournament last year: the University of Memphis and the University of Cincinnati. Memphis made it to the second round before losing to No. 1 seed Virginia, and Cincinnati was upset by No. 12 seed Harvard in the first round.

I feel sorry for Jeremy Lamb. He never stood a chance. When you are the major piece in a blockbuster, trade expectations are always too high for you. It’s like when you prepared this amazing presentation for class, but the smartest kid gave his right before yours. You do not stand a chance. Everyone still remembers his, and while you are rambling up there all the class is thinking is, “Man that last guy was a lot better.”

It is like being any Baldwin not named Alec. If Stephen Baldwin shows up to a

starting lineup.

Not only does Steven Adams bring an awesome mustache and a little bit of crazy to the center position, but he also brings something the Thunder have been missing for years at this position: talent.

It is hard to win a championship when one of the players on the court is terrible at what he does. Adams is not really a threat on the offensive side besides in the pick and roll, but this dude hits boards harder than the Power Rangers’ Megazord hit Ivan Ooze in the genital region in the 1995 classic “Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers: the Movie” (Editor’s Note: A great drinking game for this movie is to drink whenever someone is rollerblading or does an unnecessary front flip. You drink a lot more than you would expect.)* Adams is also an above average shot blocker. The only problem he has is that he tends to get into foul trouble, but besides that he is a major upgrade over Perkins.

Adams is “The Great Gatsby” because it was not really that great, but always entertaining.

If you were wondering, Perkins is “The Beach” because he is God-awful.

Once Durant comes back, the Thunder should be back to their winning ways and one of the favorites in the deep West. My prediction is that they get the three seed and lose to the Clippers in the Conference Finals, but what do I know? They will probably win it all. *This is like “Inception” because it’s not actually an editor’s note, but Pat Fox’s note.

Did you know that the OKC Thunder and Leonardo DiCaprio are the same?

Our NBA enthusiast Pat Fox, who specializes in the Oklahoma City Thunder, previews the season by comparing every player on the team to a famous character played by Leonardo DiCaprio.

The Thunder are a lot like Leonardo DiCaprio. They’re incredibly talented, incredibly cool and both played Johnny Depp’s mentally challenged little brother in 1993 … well, the last one might not be true.

The Thunder were never Arnie Grape, but there is one other thing that they have in common. They have both gotten incredibly close to the highest award in their profession (i.e. a NBA championship and an Oscar), but every time they fall short.

The first time they both had a shot was very similar. DiCaprio got nominated for his role in “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape” in which he was just ridiculously good. It was probably the best performance of the year, but the voters thought he was too young and gave it to Tommy Lee Jones.

The Thunder team that made the finals in 2012 might have been the Thunder’s most talented with Durant, Westbrook and Harden, but they were just too young and inexperienced to beat the Heat. In 2004 DiCaprio got nominated again for “The Aviator,” but lost to Jamie Foxx. In 2013 the Thunder lost Russell Westbrook in the playoffs to a torn meniscus and lost to the Grizzlies. Both of them just had bad luck and could not reach their ultimate goal.

Then take this past year for both of them.

DiCaprio loses the best actor award to McConaughey who was just better and the Thunder lose in the Conference Finals to the Spurs who were clearly the superior team.

Both Leo and the Thunder are incredibly talented and have shown how brilliant they can be on the screen and on the court, but it just has not paid off yet.

Can the Thunder finally break their Leolike ways and become a championship team? They’ve already had one big setback with Kevin hurting his foot, but this could open up the door for other players on the team to step up. The five players to watch on the Thunder are Russell Westbrook, Reggie Jackson, Serge Ibaka, Jeremy Lamb and Steven Adams. I will also compare each one of these players to a classic DiCaprio movie because who doesn’t love Leo? With Durant out, Westbrook and Jackson are the two players who can take over his scoring load. Coach Scott Brooks is insistent on bringing Jackson off of the bench, but he could have more value in the starting lineup on a Thunder team that needs points with Durant out. Phoenix had one of the most efficient offenses last year, running two point

guards on the floor at once, but Scott Brooks does not really like to be innovative. I think Leo’s character in “The Beach” says it best: “I just feel like everyone tries to do something different, but you always wind up doing the same damn thing.”

That is the feeling when you watch Thunder games. Everyone around the league is trying new and inventive things while Scott Brooks is still throwing out Sefolosha and Perkins every night hoping that by some miracle one of them makes a basket.

“It’s like when you prepared this amazing presentation for class, but the smartest kid gave his right before yours. You do not stand a chance. Everyone still remembers his, and while you are rambling, all the class is thinking is ‘Man that last guy was a lot better’” Playing Jackson and Westbrook could really liven up the Thunder’s offense and make it even more deadly once Durant gets back. I would not be surprised if Westbrook and Jackson averaged fifty points together while Durant was out.

Westbrook is definitely “The Wolf of Wall Street.” They are both crazy and extremely entertaining, and I imagine that Westbrook might partake in some of the stuff that Leo did in that movie.

Reggie Jackson is “Catch Me If You Can” mainly because I feel like that is a really good movie, but does not always get the recognition it deserves. Much like Jackson.

Another obvious key for the Thunder’s season is going to be Serge Ibaka. Ibaka made his value to the team obvious last year when he was out for the first two games of the conference finals. Ibaka is a machine, but he did struggle in the playoffs in 2013 when he was the second option after Durant went down.

Ibaka is very good at two things. He is an amazing shot blocker, and he is money from twenty feet. If he is asked to do more than that, he can struggle, but when he focuses on doing those two things he is a very valuable member of the team.

Ibaka is the anchor of the one of the league’s best defenses and he will have less pressure on him with Steven Adams on the court instead of Kendrick Perkins. I do not expect his role to change much with Durant out.

Serge Ibaka is “Blood Diamond” and not because Ibaka is from Africa, but mainly because it was action packed much like Ibaka’s playing style. And because there is the one line from “Blood Diamond” that I could totally see Ibaka saying on the court: “In AMERICA, it’s bling bling. But out here it’s bling bang.”

party, you are going to get really excited because for a half second you think it is Alec, but then nope it’s Stephen. (Author’s Note: “Bio-Dome” is a great movie.)

Lamb will never be as good as Harden, but he is still a good player who can shoot threes and provide alright defense at either wing spot. He’ll never be a star like Harden or Alec Baldwin, but he can be serviceable like Stephen Baldwin.

Jeremy Lamb is “Inception” because I have no idea what he is going to do each night. He could score twenty points or not play, and I still do not know if Leo is dreaming or not.

This next sentence is the happiest sentence I have ever typed. Kendrick Perkins is no longer the starting center for the Oklahoma City Thunder. Scott Brooks finally came to his senses and put Steven Adams in the

‘Cane Calendar Oct. 27–Nov. 2, 2014

Monday, Oct. 27: Men’s Golf @ Grove Intercollegiate;

Murfreesboro, TN Women’s Golf @ Las Vegas Collegiate

Showdown; Las Vegas, NV Tuesday, Oct. 28: Men’s Golf @ Grove Intercollegiate;

Murfreesboro, TN Women’s Golf @ Las Vegas Collegiate

Showdown; Las Vegas, NV

Thursday, Oct. 30: Women’s Tennis @ Jack Kramer Invite;

San Diego, CA Friday, Oct. 31: Football @ Memphis; Memphis, TN,

7:00 p.m.

Women’s Volleyball @ Houston;

Houston, TX, 7:00 p.m.

Cross Country @ American Athletic

Conference Championship; Tulsa,

OK, 10:00 a.m.

Women’s Tennis @ Jack Kramer Invite;

San Diego, CA Saturday, Nov. 1: Women’s Basketball vs. Rogers State;

Reynolds Center, 2:00 p.m.

Men’s Soccer vs. UCF; Hurricane Stadium; 7:00 p.m.

Women’s Tennis @ Jack Kramer Invite;

San Diego, CA Sunday, Nov. 2: Women’s Tennis @ Jack Kramer Invite;

San Diego, CA Women’s Volleyball @ Tulane; New Orleans, LA, 1:00 p.m.

Sports

27 October 2014

the Collegian : 3

Jesse Keipp is…

Hurricane soccer takes down another ranked team

Soccer fan and sports reporter Joseph Edmunds writes about another ranked soccer team that Tulsa defeated.

On Wednesday night, the Golden Hurricane Men’s soccer team beat nationally ranked (No. 24) and conference rival Southern Methodist University, 1–0. They followed up that victory with another conference win on Saturday, this time winning 2–1 in overtime against Temple University.

Wednesday’s game began with backand-forth play from the two teams, as each looked to assert themselves on the field.

Twenty minutes into the game, Tulsa earned a corner kick.

SMU goalkeeper Michael Nelson was able to push back Austin Neal’s headed shot, but the ball fell to the feet of Quinn Starker, who put the ball into the open goal

for his first goal of the season, giving TU the 1–0 lead.

Five minutes later, TU took a hit when midfielder Abé Matamoros went down with an ankle injury. He was unable to return to the game.

Tulsa pushed on for the rest of the half, keeping the pressure on the Mustangs. Going into the break, the score remained 1–0, and the Golden Hurricane had a 6–2 advantage in shots on goal.

The second half brought much of the same, with Tulsa creating more chances than the Mustangs. Just three minutes into the half, defender Bradley Bourgeois nearly scored on a header he sent towards the top of the goal, but Nelson was able to get a hand on it to tip it over the crossbar. That was as close as either team would come to scoring again for the rest of the game, however, and the game ended with a 1–0 score.

Tulsa finished with a 9–4 advantage in shots on goal, and Golden Hurricane goalkeeper Jake McGuire notched four saves to earn the shutout, his fourth of the season.

In Philadelphia, Tulsa conceded an early goal to the Owls’ forward Chas Wilson a mere two minutes into the game. The score remained 1–0 through halftime and until twenty minutes remained in the game, when Tulsa Akeil Barrett scored a penalty kick to knot the score at 1 each. The goal forced overtime, where Bourgeois got open on a corner kick to head in the game-winning goal for TU. The Golden Hurricane improved their record to 9–5–1 (4–2 American Athletic Conference), while SMU and Temple dropped to 8–4–2 (3–1–2 AAC) and 2–12–2 (1–5–1 AAC), respectively. Tulsa returns to action in a home game against UCF, which is set to start at 7 p.m. on Saturday.

What’s the deal with the Magnolia state?

The tide in the SEC has swung from Alabama to its neighbor. College football enthusiast Wade Crawford has something to say about it.

The 2011 college football season had just come to a close. The Ole Miss Rebel football team had a 2–10 record, including a 0–8 conference record. While Mississippi State did make a bowl, they did so with a 6–6 record. Meanwhile, South Carolina was ranked ninth in the nation with a 11–2 record, while Arkansas sat at the fifth spot with an 11–2 record of their own, with their only losses coming to BCS National Championship teams LSU and Alabama.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

Mississippi State is undefeated and Ole Miss is a top 10 team in the country, earning the AP Poll rankings of No. 1 and No. 7 respectively (the first No. 1 ranking in school history for Mississippi State).

These teams have already beaten the likes of Alabama, Auburn and LSU (in Baton Rouge!) and look to be well on their way to competing for a chance in the first college playoffs, setting the stage for an unprecedented in-state matchup in the Egg Bowl.

So how did these schools find themselves in glory, bouncing back from mediocre (or downright awful) past performances?

On Nov. 7 of the embarrassing 2011 campaign, Ole Miss head coach Houston Nutt resigned, effective after season’s end. The new hire was Hugh Freeze, a coach that had

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made a name for himself at Briarcrest Christian School (of “The Blind Side” fame— Freeze was coach during Michael Oher’s tenure), coaching from 1992–2004 with nine of those years at the head coaching position. Having already worked previously at Ole Miss at various positions, Freeze set out to rebuild the program.

The results have been something only the most hardcore Rebel football fan would have dreamed of. Freeze used his background as a recruiting coordinator to improve the Ole Miss recruiting class from No. 40 in 2012 to No. 7 in 2014.

The offense this year has been led by the solid play of senior quarterback Bo Wallace, who has thrown for 1899 yards and is on pace for a career-high 30 touchdown passes. However, the defense has been the dominant force. The defense has only allowed 10.6 points per game so far, which is best in the entire nation. The Rebels aren’t playing slouches, either. According to the TeamRankings strength of schedule calculation, Ole Miss has played the fifth toughest schedule in the nation.

Mississippi State’s coaching job has been a bit more stable, as Dan Mullen has been head coach since 2009. Mullen’s coaching history before the Bulldogs is directly correlated with that of Urban Meyer, as Mullen was Meyer’s quarterback coach at Bowling Green from 2001–2002, Utah from 2003– 2004, and finally Florida from 2005–2008, where he was also offensive coordinator.

Quarterbacks under Mullen during this stint include Utah’s Alex Smith, the first overall draft pick in 2005 and current signal-caller for the Kansas City Chiefs, and a certain someone by the name of Timothy Richard Tebow. I heard he was sort of good.

Mullen’s recruiting record is not as impressive as Freeze’s, as Mississippi State’s recruiting rankings are 30, 26 and 37 in the years 2012, 2013 and 2014, respectively.

But rankings do not necessarily translate to stardom on the field—star quarterback and current Heisman favorite Dak Prescott was merely a three-star recruit. The Bulldogs boast an elite offense, ranking ninth in the nation with 41.8 points per game. This is led by the rushing attack, with Prescott and running back Josh Robinson combining for 1,265 yards.

8/25/14 3:39 PM

The duo would be 53rd in the nation in rushing yards, above schools such as Florida State, TCU and Notre Dame. The defense isn’t too bad either, ranking 19th in the country.

Ole Miss and Mississippi State have shocked the college football world. Old favorites have been defeated soundly, and teams once considered as a “joke” are now competing for the top of the nation’s best conference. Though Ole Miss fell this week to LSU (on the road) they have still shown that football in the Magnolia State is a force to be reckoned with.

Abbreviated Hurricane Recap Volleyball Splits the Road The women’s volleyball team went 1–1 this past week, sweeping the University of Connecticut Huskies on Friday and falling to the Owls of Temple on Sunday morning. The win over Connecticut was the first conference road win for the volleyball team since joining the American Athletic Conference. The split this week puts their overall record at 13–8 with a conference record of .500 at 5–5. They will continue their road trip on Wednesday when they play Houston.

Women Beat the Methodists The women’s soccer team beat the Mustangs of Southern Methodist University this week by the score of 2–1. TU scored both of its goals in the first half, and the game was not as close as the score shows

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Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, 918-631-2616. Requests for accommodation of disabilities may be addressed to the University’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Taylor, 918-631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpreter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accommodations.

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This editing may take place in many forms, including grammar corrections, changes in paragraph structure or even the addition or removal of sections of content. Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opinions of the entire Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers. Letter Policy: Letters to the editor must be less than 500 words. While we do not require it, letters sent via e-mail to the Collegian are encouraged. Under no circumstances will anonymous letters be published. The name of the person submitting the letter must be published with the letter. We reserve the right to edit or reject all letters. The deadline for letters is 5 p.m. on the Saturday prior to publication.

TULSA_5_125x10.indd 1

Everyone knows the notorious Power Five conferences are creeping toward crippling autonomy in college football. Power Five programs wield longstanding traditions, immense fan bases, and most importantly lots of dough to spend. The dawn of the four-team College Football Playoff has all but guaranteed postseason berths to Power Five teams. Meanwhile, teams from the other five conferences, known as the Group of Five, tremble at the thought of imminent irrelevance. However, Marshall University, has arisen as perhaps this year’s only Group of Five challenger. The Thundering Herd have rumbled to an 8–0 record, though with a schedule devoid of any Power Five opponents. So, if Marshall can manage the rest of its not-so-daunting C-USA schedule, does it deserve a seat at the College Football Playoff?

Conference USA certainly thinks so. CUSA leadership hired a PR firm to pitch Marshall to the American public and the College Football Playoff committee. Essentially, the C-USA brass wants Marshall to run the table and earn a berth, bringing an obscene amount of publicity and money to the conference. The Playoff would be a perfect way for the C-USA to move past its breakup with Tulsa, Tulane, and Houston… and just about every team in the American.

Now, obviously, there won’t be an issue with C-USA having its refs rig the games in favor of Marshall. Who am I kidding? Break out the tinfoil hats because we’ve got a conspiracy theory!

Speaking of conspiracy theories, a mysterious bacterial illness has overcome two NHL teams, the St. Louis Blues and the Minnesota Wild. Coincidentally, both teams have recently played against the Los Angeles Kings and Anaheim Ducks. Chemical warfare has made its way into the visitors locker rooms in one of SoCal’s arenas.

Symptoms are mostly flu-like, plus a swollen jaw that makes the afflicted look like Captain Cane … on a good day.

A University of Arkansas offensive lineman broke an unofficial record of heavyweight hero and former University of Kentucky quarterback Jared Lorenzen (2000–2003). At 6’ 5” and 350 pounds, Sebastian Tretola completed a six yard touchdown pass against UAB to put the Razorbacks up 28–0. Because Lorenzen hovers around a modest 300, Tretola must be the heaviest player to ever throw a touchdown pass in college football.

because SMU scored in the last 5 minutes.

With a win at their final regular season game yesterday, the women stand at 11–7– 1 overall, looking to the AAC quarterfinal.

Men’s Soccer Outlasts Temple The men’s soccer team beat the Owls of Temple University by a score of 2–1 after double overtime. Temple scored their lone goal two minutes into the game when Chas Wilson sunk a cross pass into the back of the net. Akeil Barrett drilled a penalty kick to even the match and draw overtime. In the 103rd minute of the second overtime Bradley Bourgeois put in the golden goal for the Golden Hurricane giving them the second conference win this week. This puts their overall record at 9–5–1 with a 5–2 conference record with one regular season game left at home on Saturday. editor-in-chief—Kyle Walker managing editor—Conor Fellin news editor—Nikki Hager sports editor—Matt Rechtien variety editor—Abigail LaBounty

commentary & barricade editor—Giselle Willis satire editor—Fraser Kastner apprentice editor—Sara Douglas photo & graphics editor—Sarah Power feature & layout editor—Morgan Krueger copy editor—Will Boogert, Amanda Hagedorn business & advertising manager—Jesse Keipp distribution manager—Witt Womack, Katie Hill web manager—Sam Chott

the Collegian : 4

NEWS

27 October 2014

Homecoming queen and king answer questions about the crown Senior communications major Sarah Hartley was crowned Homecoming Queen. This Norman native met with student writer Shelby Branch to discuss her queen-ship.

What process did you have to go through to become homecoming queen?

Any organization can nominate a male or female from their group. My sorority, Delta Delta Delta, nominated me. The Alumni Relations Office makes an application for all who are nominated, along with other things going on during homecoming week, and narrow the candidates down to the top ten males and females. From there, current Tulsa University alumni interview the candidates and narrow us down to the top five guys and girls. Then, the entire student body votes on who is crowned the king and queen.

What was your initial reaction when you heard you had won?

I was so shocked. Just being on the court was an honor. I didn’t think I would even make it far enough to be on court. When I was announced homecoming queen, I was kind of awkward. When they called my name, my first thought was, “What do I do now?” But it didn’t matter because I was overwhelmed by the people all around me, handing me flowers, putting the crown on my head, and throwing a slash over my shoulder.

What does it mean to you to be crowned homecoming queen?

Again, I am overwhelmed. I am flattered that everyone thought I deserved such an honor.

My mom said it was her proudest moment of my life. This recognition meant more to me because of what it brought to my parents. It’s like I gave something meaningful to them after all that they’ve done for me.

What do you think made you stand out from the other candidates? What sets you apart as a positive representation of TU? I have a lot of school spirit. It’s easy to not support your school and the teams with everything you are involved with along with the time you need to study for your classes, but I always tried to find the time to go and support every team we have. I went to as many games as possible. However, all of the other candidates were just as deserving.

What have you been involved with while at TU? How do you spend your free time?

Since the very beginning I’ve been involved with my sorority Delta Delta Delta. Over the years I came to be involved with Presbyterian Leaders and Scholars, TU Ambassadors, Public Relations Student Society of America and Mordor Board for Seniors.

Outside of school I enjoy supporting OKC’s Thunder basketball, anything outdoors and traveling. I studied abroad this past spring in Brussels, Belgium. One thing I learned while I was there is that no matter what problem I find myself in, there is a way out.

I had lost my purse, with everything in it, I mean everything, wallet, house keys, passport…everything. It was the biggest stress of my life. But someone turned it into the U.S. embassy. It restored a lot of my faith in humanity.

What are your plans after graduation?

I plan to move to Washington D.C. next summer where I will have an internship at a law firm. I plan on going to graduate school but after I have worked full time for a while. I already applied to George Washington University where I intend on studying higher education administration. I hope to combine Public Relations and higher education administration for my career.

If you could tell your freshman self one thing, what would it be?

Keep up your good work ethic but don’t stress yourself out. Remember to have fun.

Not two months after the beginning of classes, the University of Tulsa is requiring its students to undergo an online sexual violence education module called Haven.

TU chose Haven because Everfi, the company who developed the module, has been a partner with the White House Task Force on Sexual Assault.

According to Dean of Students Yolanda Taylor, “the course is closely aligned with federal requirements and recommendations.”

Taylor highlighted that other universities have also utilized the same online module in order to prevent sexual assault on their campuses.

“Oklahoma State University, for instance, has implemented the same program for 27,000 students,” said Taylor.

The Collegian also contacted Everfi in order to understand how the module was conceived.

According to Brian Cooley, Everfi’s Chief Marketing Officer, Haven was created and designed by the company’s team of education experts.

“We work with independent researchers.

We also have an Everfi coalition, made up of 200 university subject matter experts,” said Cooley. This coalition meets annually to discuss research and share takeaways from said research.

Mr. Cooley said, “Everfi has been in the business for 12 years and the demand for our online modules is massive. There’s been an increase in the demand for Haven recently.

Currently, there are four hundred campuses From The Big Slip, on cover because “mathematically, we knew it was impossible for three teams (two teams tied for second) to place ahead of us because the possibility to earn those points wasn’t even there,” Aycock said. So the two sent in a request for the points to be recalculated.

“By the time (SA) had everything in, Fisher South had emailed (SA about the discrepancy),” said Mancini, and the recount of

I was on the former TU intercollegiate track and field team, winning a conference championship. I am about to step down from a lot of those positions, so it will be nice to have more free time to take naps. I really enjoy going to different athletic events such as volleyball, soccer and basketball. My friends and I even travel to see football games that are at other campuses.

What do you think made you stand out from the other candidates? What sets you apart as a positive representation of TU? I think that my involvement on campus definitely helped. It was not just my close friends, a professional organization or my fraternity brothers that wanted me to represent TU, but many people outside of those groups.

What are your plans after graduation?

I have accepted a full time job as a Landman with Concho Resources, which is an oil and gas company, based in Midland, Texas.

But before I move out in June, I will take a five-week trip in Europe. We will start in Athens, Greece, and then travel in much of Italy, Spain, Hungary and Germany as well as many other countries. I have already traveled to London and Paris, but it will be nice to visit them again with friends. We don’t have any set plans yet, but I am really looking forward to it.

What have you been involved with while at TU? How do you spend your free time?

I am the secretary and recruitment chair for Kappa Alpha Order, the organization that nominated me for Homecoming King. I am also involved with many other groups on campus, including serving as president of University Ambassadors, vice president of the Tulsa Energy Management Student Association, and as president of the Association of International Petroleum Negotiators.

I am also in a couple of honor societies and

What was your initial reaction when you heard you had won?

It was an honor to be selected as homecoming king. I was excited, and a little bit surprised. I knew I had a really good chance, but all of the other nominees had such a strong presence on campus, so it felt like it was a close vote. After they handed me my hat and my scepter I wasn’t sure what do so I waved. They should have told me what to do next.

What does it mean to you to be crowned homecoming king?

It was nice to know that I am supported by so many people. I was not only selected by

using Haven.”

Recent government initiatives, including the Campus Sexual Violence Elimination Act, which requires colleges to accurately disclose reports of sexual violence on campus, have made education on this issue important to colleges.

Cooley added that Haven was also recently updated. “It is frequently updated, but prior to this academic year was completely rebuilt.”

Now the module has a new interface with videos and scenarios that the company hopes will make it more learning-friendly.

The Collegian heard students’ opinions about Haven in the last couple of weeks.

They were neither excited about the idea of having a required assignment nor about Haven itself.

One student said, “It was tedious because it was long, and I already knew 95 percent of the content.” Another student pointed out, “The online module was extremely inconvenient for us because it has been implemented during the period of midterm exams.”

When asked if they believe the number of sexual harassment incidents on campus would be impacted after Haven, one student said, “Since most students already know most of the content they just skip through the steps. You do not actually process all that information, but I believe Haven will make us a little bit more aware.”

However, TU students still believe that an online platform is the easiest way to reach most people.

“I really liked that it was online because I could take it anywhere. Also the website was pretty interactive and well designed,” a student said. points showed that the dorm had won overall.

Their win “felt really good” because all of their “hard work paid off,” noted Aycock.

Although it is usually a Greek organization who wins, Fisher South is “the most competitive of dorms … because freshmen have a lot of spirit,” noted Mancini.

One of the other issues in the homecoming competition was a mix-up in attendance.

Attendance was “tracked on a lot of differ-

If you could tell your freshman self one thing, what would it be?

I would say that four years of college sounds like a fun time, but it goes by really fast. Enjoy the random moments that happen that you are not expecting. Embrace those. As lame as it sounds, many things will happen that you don’t expect, so embrace them. vehicle and contacted Tulsa Police. Officers were able to verify the owner was driving the vehicle and ran from the scene. Tulsa Police issued citations for Hit & Run, No Drivers License, No Insurance and Unsafe Lane Change.

Sarah Power interviewed Bryce Cason, dual energy management and finance major, this year’s homecoming king.

Haven developed by White House task force partner TU implements widely adopted online sexual assault education module. Staff writers Renan Kuntz and Michaela Flonard report.

a panel of alumni but also by current students on campus. Interestingly, I was actually nominated last year by the Chi Omega Sorority. I was working as a houseboy for a couple of semesters, so I was probably nominated because all the girls knew me so well. I didn’t feel like I should have won it as a junior, but it was still really nice to have been selected and to advance to Court.

Oct. 13 11:45 a.m.

Officers are investigating a report of a bicycle larceny from Norman Village.

A student reported their secured bicycle was taken from a bike rack. There are no suspects at this time.

12:40 p.m.

Officers and Tulsa Police responded to a non-injury motor vehicle accident just off campus at 11th St. & College Ave. involving a student and non-TU affiliate. Tulsa Police facilitated the exchange of information.

4:00 p.m.

A state issued identification card was found in Pat Case Dining and impounded at Campus Security for safekeeping.

2:40 a.m.

Officers located the owner of the suspect

Oct. 14 9:20 p.m.

Officers and Tulsa Police are investigating a hit & run motor vehicle accident in the Mayo Village Lot. The suspect vehicle backed into another vehicle, occupied by the parent of a student. The suspect vehicle left the scene and parked in another section of the Mayo Village Lot where the occupant ran from the campus. Officers identified the suspect as a former student from the vehicle information. This information was given to Tulsa Police for their investigation and the suspect’s vehicle was impounded. Both vehicles suffered only minor damage.

5:00 p.m.

Officers and Tulsa Police responded to a non-injury motor vehicle accident at the intersection of 4th Pl. & Harvard Ave. A student, attempting to turn onto Harvard Ave., struck an oncoming vehicle causing major damage to both vehicles. Both vehicles were towed from the scene.

Chuyi Wen / Collegian From left to right: Zombies Luke Normile, Grace Doyle, Kate Cooley, Student Association President Michael Mancini and Jordan Hoyt growl and hunger for flesh.

Don’t know what else to do on a Monday afternoon?

How about writing for the Collegian?

Everyone is welcome. Come to our meetings.

Mondays, 5 p.m. in Oliphant Hall 110.

Hope to see you there. ent computers—whoever was working the event used their own computer,” and according to Mancini, SA “ultimately couldn’t figure out whose computer the street painting data was on.” Instead, the organization chose to not count that event.

This issue is leading SA to consider streamlining next year’s process by using handheld devices instead of personal computers. Another consideration for next year, “although it’s nothing definite,” noted Man-

cini, is to have divisions between the large and small organizations. “There are pros and cons to that—the more divisions we make, the more prizes we wind up giving out … but it would fix some issues,” he says.

In the end, Aycock and the rest of Fisher South’s residence hall are just ecstatic to have won. Last year, the dorm placed second, and this year’s win, after several days of confusion, comes even sweeter.

NEWS

27 october 2014

the Collegian : 5

Rise in earthquakes rocks Oklahoma to its core

Whether caused by wastewater injection wells, refilled aquifers or other causes entirely, earthquakes are becoming a larger problem in OK. Lizzie Connor reports.

Oklahoma has seen a dramatic increase in earthquakes since 2009, with an exponential rise since 2011. The bulk of these earthquakes have occurred in central Oklahoma including the towns of Guthrie, Edmond, Stillwater, Prague and Cherokee to name only a few.

According to the U.S. Geological Survey, there were only one to three earthquakes per year with a magnitude of 3.0 between the years 1975 and 2008. There were 2,800 earthquakes of various magnitudes in 2013 alone; over one hundred have been recorded each week in 2014 so far.

While many of these tremors aren’t strong enough to be felt or cause damage, there are some that continually cause destruction and endanger lives. Earthquakes can be felt at a magnitude of 3.0 and higher. A 5.7 magnitude earthquake in Prague in 2011 was recorded to be the strongest quake in the history of Oklahoma, severely damaging roads, homes and buildings.

Earthquake insurance companies have been selling more and more earthquake policies in recent years. Before 2008, these insurance packages were rarely purchased

by Oklahomans due to the extreme rarity of property-damaging quakes.

One major theory behind the increase in Oklahoma seismicity pertains to the state’s very prominent oil and gas industry.

There is a possible link between the greater frequency in earthquakes and wastewater injection into deep underground wells.

This process pumps toxic water from oil and natural gas extraction (including fracking) into wells that are thousands of feet underground for disposal. This causes a reduction in friction along tectonic plate fault lines which, in turn, may cause earthquakes.

The Oklahoma fracking boom led to an increased demand for these disposal wells.

There are approximately 12,000 injection wells drilled in Oklahoma; 3,356 of these wells are for wastewater disposal. In 2012, the wells took in about 1.1 billion barrels of water (45.7 billion gallons) from the oil and gas industry operations. There is a correlation between the location of these injection wells and the location of the earthquakes.

Another theory points to aquifers as a root cause of the earthquakes. Aquifers are underground reservoirs through which water passes easily. Many aquifers that were previously empty become suddenly refilled when rain falls with high intensity, an event called ‘‘hydrologic loading.” This

sudden addition of weight is predicted to be a trigger for the quakes.

There is no clear consensus on the cause of the seismic occurrences. It does seem, however, that the earthquakes are not

occurring purely by natural means. The quakes may very well be influenced by human industry. Research on these theories is continually seeking answers to the unusual earthquake occurrences in Oklahoma.

Graphic courtesy U.S. Geologic Survey

2009 was the first year in recorded history that Oklahoma had twenty earthquakes in one year. It seemed bizarre, but it was nothing compared to what was to come. 2013 had over 100 earthquakes, and as of May 2014 Oklahoma had nearly 150 earthquakes. This rapid escalation shows no signs of slowing anytime soon.

Interview with Eric Marshall, founder of Marshall Brewing Co.

Student Writer Wade Crawford sat down with Eric Marshall to talk about growing up in Tulsa, his time as a student at TU and what it’s like to found a brewery.

Eric Marshall is the founder and CEO of Marshall Brewing Company in Tulsa.

Marshall is a fourth-generation Tulsan and graduated from TU in 2004 with a degree in International Business and German Language, while being a member of the Sigma Chi fraternity.

After graduation, Marshall left to study brewing in Munich, Germany at the World Brewing Academy.

There, he earned the prestigious International Diploma in Brewing Technology. Marshall served as an apprentice in Germany and as a brewer for Victory Brewing Company before forming Marshall Brewing Company in 2008.

How was it growing up in Tulsa?

I loved it here, and that’s why I decided to come back. It’s quite a bit different than it is now. When I was growing up, you never went downtown.

Now it’s more of a fun place to live.

Tulsa’s a good place to be, the people are great. It’s a great environment to have a business, very small-business friendly.

What made you choose TU as your place of study?

I liked TU from the perspective of being local—I had a lot of family ties to it.

My grandparents went to TU, my parents went to TU, my brother … there’s a lot of family history there.

I liked TU being a small environment, small atmosphere, you can get involved in pretty much anything. In state schools, you get so big, and so many people, you get lost in the mix.

What led you to choose your major?

(International Business and German) I started out studying Electrical Engineering, probably because somebody told me that’s what I should study, and I found out relatively quickly that it wasn’t something I was particularly interested in.

I also had really wanted to take German.

When I started at TU, I started taking German and really enjoyed it.

When I wanted to switch to the business school, (Dr. Mark Collins) was in the class with me, and offered to talk to me about the programs offered and study abroad.

The program gave a general business outlook, with an international focus. I was always very fascinated with culture, and the program was very culturally focused.

Any special experiences at TU? The two biggest things that were great from undergrad were my fraternity and study abroad. A lot of people associate fraternities with “Animal House,” and there are some aspects of that. But it really helped put things in place for me, especially on a national level. It helped me to step up and take a leadership role, managing time and people.

As for study abroad, that was, by far, the greatest thing I did in college, from the perspective of independence and viewing the world a different way by the different cultures.

You grow as a person by having the confidence to be able to live independently.

It gives you a different view on things and really takes you out of your comfort zone.

How did you end up getting interested in brewing?

When I was studying in Germany, I had already done a little bit of homebrewing but fell in love with beer and the beer making process from the culture. Beer is a big part of German culture.

Having the ability to go there and drink fresh beer from the local brewery, and the environment and atmosphere really fascinated me and brought me to brewing.

I picked up brewing after moving back, and saw the need for it here and an opportunity to make a career. My mom was a small business owner, so I grew up in the environment of entrepreneurship.

What were some challenges with starting up Marshall Brewing Company?

Oklahoma’s liquor laws are a little “interesting”—in a way, they inhibit the process of starting a brewery.

Fortunately, my brother is a good lawyer, so he can look at the legal aspect and make sure we’re complying.

We were the first to make a strong beer in Tulsa, so nobody knew how zoning and codes worked for our situation.

Once we got started up, this misconception that we weren’t legitimate surfaced for a short period of time. But once we got past the first few months, things were able to take off.

Photo courtesy Marshall Brewing Company Eric Marshall, founder of Marshall Brewing Company.

Eye on the world: Lizzie Connor Staff Writer Europe Sweden Swedish armed forces are searching for a foreign underwater vessel that appears to be in their marine territory.

This search began on Thursday, Oct. 16th when Swedish intelligence picked up an emergency radio call in Russian.

Helicopters, battleships and minesweepers have been employed in this full scale hunt. The armed forces believe the vessel to be Russian.

They are prepared to bring the vessel to the surface.

The radio transmission was supposedly being sent to Kaliningrad in Russia. Russia has denied having any vessel in the Swedish territory.

Dutch and U.S. officials have also declared that they have no submarine-like ves-

sels in the area.

Swedish officials have given three possibilities for stealthy Russian reconnaissance: mapping waters for better navigation if hostility occurs, equipment installation, or observation of Swedish defense systems.

Asia India A fireworks factory in Andhra Pradesh, a southern Indian state, exploded on Monday Oct. 20, killing at least 17 people.

Another 10 individuals were sent to a nearby hospital in critical condition. The Manikanta Fireworks factory was destroyed in the massive fire that ensued.

Police officials declared that the fireworks were being made without the correct permits. The factory also had too many people employed, breaking building occupancy rules.

Fireworks are used frequently in Indian weddings, religious festivals and other cer-

What was the process of growing your very own business? emonies. Unintentional explosions at fireworks factories are common.

In 2012, at least 34 people were killed and another 30 injured in a huge fireworks factory explosion in Tamil Nadu. Sixteen people were killed in a blast that occurred in a factory in 2009.

Africa South africa Oscar Pistorius is a well known South African double leg amputee sprint runner.

In February 2013, he shot and killed his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, who he allegedly mistook for an intruder.

On Tuesday Oct. 21st, Pistorius was giv-

We’ve taken a slow, controlled growth method. This is a very capital-intensive business, and takes a lot of money to be able to expand.

But the way that everything has grown, there’s an opportunity to double business overnight, and that’s where people get into trouble.

Again, it’s capital-intensive, so you could double capacity but go into debt as a result.

You also need to get the equipment and the people to handle everything.

So we’ve taken a step-by-step sort of pace. There’re breweries that have grown faster, but we like the pace we’re growing at.

Have there been any TU staff that was supportive of you in this process?

Dr. Collins for sure—we’ve stayed really close, and he’s been really good about keeping me tied into TU, whether to come speak to classes or something else.

I’ve also stayed close with Professor Udwin of the German Department as well.

It’s a small and very tight-knit community, so I’ve been able to keep in contact and work with them extensively even now.

Any words of advice?

Something I always like to say is to have an open mind. You may start with a good idea of what you want to do as a freshman, or have no idea. Either way, there’s a good chance your mind could change.

There’s opportunities out there, and if you have an idea or a passion, or see a need or an opportunity, if you prepare yourself you can be successful.

Especially in Tulsa and the TU community, there’re people with a lot of money that want to see young people succeed and cool things to happen in Tulsa.

If you’re prepared and have a well-laid plan or idea, there’s an opportunity to really succeed. en a five year prison sentence for the killing of his girlfriend.

His charge is listed as ‘culpable homicide’; in South Africa, this means a person was killed unintentionally but still unlawfully.

South African law also declares he will have to serve one-sixth of his sentence before he can request to switch to correctional supervision (house arrest).

In addition to the homicide charge, Pistorius was initially given a three year sentence on a firearm charge.

This was suspended for five years pending as long as he is not found guilty of another crime involving a firearm.

Last week, in an article entitled “Who represents me? A look at Tulsa Rep. Jim Bridenstine’s first two years in office,” we reported that Mr. Bridenstine defeated John Sullivan in 2012’s legislative elections. The story should have said that Bridenstine defeated Sullivan in the Republican primary before going on to defeat John Olson in the general election.

the Collegian : 6

Web Editor Sam Chott explores some of the most underrated pieces of slang in the English language.

Slang words are the Christopher Walken of language—they play a relatively minor role, but without them the whole experience would fall flat. Slang freshens up our vocabulary, allows us to express novel ideas succinctly, and, much like staring out a window while drinking scotch, makes us seem much more interesting than we actually are.

With that in mind, take a trip with me to experience the slang of the past, the present and the future.

We’ll also be taking detours into the future that never was, the present that almost could be, and the past that almost was but not quite.

Buckle up.

Ice William Gibson was a revolutionary author, not for the raw quality of his writing, but for his frighteningly accurate predictions of the future. He predicted, among other things, the Internet, reality television and weird Japanese virtual pop stars. He called computer security systems “ice” before the first computer virus was released into the wild, but we make com-

variety

27 October 2014

Slang you should use puter security sound like paperwork. I, personally, would rather reinforce my ice than update my antivirus.

“That system’s got black ice protecting it. It’s uncrackable for anyone but a true console cowboy.”

Butter Upon Bacon This Victorian slang has regained some relevance, now that we’re in the middle of a bacon boom. As an idiom, it’s almost self-explanatory.

It describes something that’s redundant to the point of ridiculousness. If you actually eat bacon and butter at the same time, please seek medical help.

“Oh, you had the servants put the good silver on the lace tablecloth? Isn’t that putting butter upon bacon, dear?”

Cove This is a word taken from thieves’ cant, which was a jargon used by thieves in Great Britain in Elizabethan times. It was originally used to make their language so slang-ridden that the authorities wouldn’t be able to understand them. The word means “man,” and its first known use in writing was in 1566. Thieves’ cant has reportedly made a resurgence in English prisons.

“Oi, cove! Nick that shilling quick—the copper’s almost here!”

Brahms Brahms comes from a set of slang

known as Cockney rhyming slang.

It was constructed by taking the word “pissed,” which means “drunk” in England, and rhyming it with an unrelated word or phrase, in this case, “Brahms and Liszt.” The phrase is then cut off in the middle, leaving no way to understand the slang unless you’ve heard it before. If you squinted really hard, you could probably relate the word construction to the kennings used in Old Norse poetry, but it’s really just a fun set of slang words.

“You might want to make sure they get home safe. They were both brahms like an hour ago.”

Fyre Pronunciation: Slur the “y.” Think “fur” combined with “far.”

A stoner I knew tried to force this word into use. I assumed that he had failed, until about a year later, when I heard a homeless lady use it. I’m not really sure what the chain of connection was between them, but this is one fine slang word, used in the same manner as “dank.” Unrelated to “first year residential experience.”

“Who was the opener at that concert? They were pretty fyre.”

Blighty Most slang that emerges during wars either applies only to war, or worms its way into the mainstream lexicon as soldiers return home.

However, there are a few other interesting words that emerged from places of senseless death and terror. “Blighty” was originally used as a term for Great Britain by English soldiers, but it soon came to refer to a serious but non-lethal

wound, since the injured soldier would end up being sent home.

“Quit complaining about your missing leg. I wish I could get a blighty like that.”

Darb Slang from the 1920s is a mixed bag. Most of it has been absorbed into our normal lexicon, often so much so that we don’t notice it, like “absolutely” or “crush.” Other parts of it seem old-fashioned, like “cat’s pajamas” or “gams.” But the decade that witnessed some of the most radical cultural shifts in our country’s history still holds some hidden gems. “Darb” originally referred to someone who would always be willing and able to pick up the check, but expanded to mean anything or anyone that was excellent.

“Oh, you found a new speakeasy after the last three got shut down? You’re a regular darb!”

Word Is Bond Well-known slang phrases “represent,” “peace” and “break it down” are linked superficially by their use in hip-hop, but the true connection is deeper. All of them derive from teachings of the Five-Percent Nation, a religious group founded by a former member of the Nation of Islam. The Five-Percent Nation then found popularity in hip-hop culture, hence the terms’ migration to rap. “Word is bond” as a phrase derives from the teachings of the religion, and implies that what you’re saying is unimpeachably true.

“I saw it all. He was singing Taylor Swift, word is bond.”

Spey Pronunciation: Rhymes with “hay.”

Not to be confused with the identically pronounced “spay,” this term is short for “respect.” It originated at the finest high school in St. Louis and was quickly picked up by the most discerning and elite of slang users.

Rumors abound of a stunningly handsome Collegian writer who witnessed the birth of the term and brought it to TU, like Channing Tatum in that one movie where he carried the thing, but with better hair and a stronger jaw. I’m not saying that I am that person, but if I were, I would say that you should add “spey” to your vocabulary immediately. The conductor of the spey-train is blowing the whistle, and you better get on board before it leaves the station.

“You found my cell phone?

Spey that, thanks.”

“Did you just punch her? No spey! You need to calm down.”

Your Own Slang Sometimes we forget that the English language, or whatever language you speak, is organic.

Having common grammar and vocabulary isn’t a matter of objective truth, it’s a matter of convenience.

Changes in a language start as slang, and make their way into formally acceptable usage, as can be seen with the rise of “they” as a third-person gender-neutral singular pronoun. For our language and communication to improve, thus, we need more slang. The only way that can happen is if people start creating and using slang. I’d certainly spey that.

한국인들의 성형수술 심란

As a way of embracing the multicultural nature of the university community, the Collegian will be printing articles in languages that reflect the unique makeup of our student body. Staff Writer Se Yeon Kim was born in Korea, but has lived in the United States for more than half her life.

Here she shares her concerns about the increasing prevalence of plastic surgery among well-off South Koreans and the resulting social stigma surrounding appearance. A short English summary follows the article. 요즘 한국에는 성형수술이란 미 묘한 뜻을 가지고 있다. 한국에 서는 성형수술 발달과 성형수술 을 하는 사람들이 너무 많아져 서 자신이 옛날 진짜 자신이라 는 것을 증명하는 증명서가 필 요 한다고 한다. 미국에 있는지 6년이 된 나에게는 마치 소설 같 은 소식이다. 생각해보면 성형 수술은 마술 같은 효과가 있다. 수술한 전과 후의 사진들을 보 면 왠지 신데렐라 소설에 나오 는 변신과 비슷한 느낌이 난다. 후에 나오는 멎진, 혹은 아름다 운 변신을 보며 '나도 저렇게 잘 생겨/아름다워질 수 있어' 라고 생각을 하는 많은 사람들에게 는 성형수술은 둘도 없는 선물 이다. 하지만, 돈이 없어 수술 을 못하는 사람들에게는 '아름 다움'이란사회적 차별을 불러 일으키는 둘도 없는 고통스러 움일 것이다. 아마 이런 물리적 차이는 사회층을 파괴할 수 있 을 것 이다. 돈이 있는 사람들, 돈이 없는 사람들. 아름다운 사 람들, 아름답지 않는 사람들. 마 주치는 얼굴이 사회적 차이를 의미 한다면, 성형수술 보다 더 분명한 사회적 차별은 없다. 하 지만, 성형수술이 만들 수 있는 아름다움이란 더 좋고 깊은 뜻 을 가질 수 있다. 나의 가까운 친 구에게 성형수술의사가 되고 싶 은 이유를 물어보았을 때에 그 녀는 가난한 나라에서 영양 부 족으로 얼굴변형을 가지고 태 어난 아이들을 도와주고 싶다는 말을 들었다. 이외같이 성형수 술은 많은 사람들을 돕고 일으 킬 수 있는 힘을 가지고 있다. 화 상, 유방암, 신체변형, 기타 외의 성형수술은 많은 환자들과 사람 들의 신체와 마음을 치료할 수 있다. 하지만, 그래도 요즘 한국 의 우상숭배를 보면, 왠지 이득 보다 해로움이 더 많을 것 같아 걱정이 많다. 점점 더 아름다워 지는 한국인들의 모습, 성형수 술의 기술 발달, 아름다움의 집 념, 외국 나라들의 집중 등을 결 합하면 내가 걱정하는 사회문제 가 될 가능성이 더 많을 것 같다. 근래 미국에서 오래있었던 한국 친구들이 한국을 방문하고 오면 말해주는 소식 또한 나의 걱정 을 확신해준다. 모델 같은 날씬 하고 키 큰 몸매. 비슷한 옷차림.

인기 있고 인기 없는 브랜드 혹 은 트랜드. 낯선 사람의 칼 같은 몸매와 얼굴의 대한 비난. 미국 에 흔하게 찾을 수 있는 개인주 의는 한국에서 귀하다. 오히려, 미국에 흔한 개인주의를 한국에 서 보인다면 사람들이 흉보기가 쉽다. 아직 대학교에 있고 한국 에 오랫동안 거주하지 않은 나 는 이런 한국을 비난할 수는 없 다. 하지만, 여자로서, 사람으로 서, 이렇게 사람의 겉모습으로 사람을 판단하는 한국을 자랑스 럽게 나의 본국이라고 할 수는 없다. 직접한국에서 이것을 체 험하고 싶어도 솔직히 방문하기 무섭다. 미국에서 나의 삶을 반 이상 산 나에게 한국은 신기하 고 무서운 나라다. 과연, 한국을 이렇게 생각하고 느끼는 다른 한국인들은 있을까 하고도 궁금 해한다. 하지만, 지금은 그냥 나 의 생각에 잠겨있다.

Recent improvements in plastic surgery in Korea have lead to some interesting legal and social changes. With the increased popularity of plastic surgery, Koreans now need a new type of identification to prove that they are the same person they were despite drastic changes to their appearance.

For those that have the money, plastic surgery gives them the chance to be classically beautiful, however, for those who are poorer, the intense social discrimination can be devastating. When I asked a close friend of mine why she wanted to become a plastic surgeon, she replied that she wanted to help kids born in poor countries with deformed face due to malnutrition.

Plastic surgery has the power to help many people including burns victims and breast cancer patients.

However, in the case of Korea’s idol worship, plastic surgery seems to do more harm than good. While I wish to experience first-hand the effect of plastic surgery in Korea, I feel scared to visit. After living away from Korea and attending school in the United States for so long, Korea seems fascinating and horrifying.

Madeline Woods / Collegian

Renowned Irish poet remembers Heaney Paul Muldoon, considered by many to be one of the best modern Irish poets, came to TU this week to pay tribute to his longtime friend and teacher, Seamus Heaney. Staff Writer Adam Lux reports.

Paul Muldoon, with a fat tie and disheveled hair, looks like the jolly uncle that gives you a sip of his beer on Christmas. His lilting Irish accent makes me feel as if I’m having a cup of coffee with Yeats in downtown Dublin. Yes, he is very much like what we think of when we hear Yeats, or Wilde, and most importantly Seamus Heaney.

The first poem he read was called “The Loaf.” Without spoiling too much I’ll just say it was about a particular hole in a very old house Muldoon used to live in. It is both sensually concrete and somehow ethereal. Filled with consonance and onomatopoeia, the poem sounds playful and somber coming off his tongue.

Muldoon was good friends with Heaney. He met the poetry master when he was 16. Under Heaney’s

guidance, Muldoon’s first book “Knowing My Place” was published when he was only 19. He studied formally under Heaney at Queen’s University in Belfast.

He followed this up with one of the many song lyrics he has composed, “The Big Twist.” The lyric was far more casual and made me feel more comfortable being around the Pulitzer Prize and T.S. Eliot prize winner and Oxford poetry professor. It was a mixture of traditional structure styling and contemporary pop culture content from “The Maltese Falcon” to “Star Wars.” This odd combination made me think of how much importance we put on the relationship between writing style and content and how a whole new realm of opportunities are opened up when we bend and break the rules.

Why was this man, who has been called one of the five best poets alive, here at TU? Well, because we asked him to come—but why did he say yes? Seamus Heaney spoke at TU multiple times.

Heaney was good friends with former TU professor Darcy O’Brien.

Heaney would come to the university, give a reading, and have a drink with O’Brien. Maybe Muldoon came to help keep the memory of Heaney alive at TU. Maybe he came to begin a relationship with the university himself. I don’t claim to know; I’m just glad he was here.

Muldoon continued with a few of Heaney’s poems. He even opened the mic up for the listeners to read a few of Heaney’s works.

Great works of Heaney’s such as “Digging” and “Follower” were read. He ended with an excerpt from a poem in his new collection “One Thousand Things Worth Knowing.” The excerpt was from his poem “Cuthbert and the Otters,” and he chillingly ended on the line “I cannot thole the thought of Seamus Heaney dead.”

Editor’s note: “thole” is an old Scottish word meaning “to endure without complaint or resistance.”

variety

27 October 2014

the Collegian : 7

of Montreal delightfully weird

Managing Editor Conor Fellin recently attended an of Montreal concert. After not knowing what to expect, he was pleasantly surprised by the strange costumes and props that complemented the band’s hard rock energy.

“Oklahoma … Oak-claw-homeahhhhhhhhhhhh,” a man in a red body suit and a fedora repeated over and over at the beginning of Tuesday’s of Montreal concert, pantomiming each syllable of the name of the state in which his band was performing.

Some hard rock bands take themselves too seriously. Of Montreal is not one of those bands.

I’m fairly new to of Montreal.

My more experienced friends had told me in advance that of Montreal’s concerts consisted of a delightfully weird combination of

high-energy rock and performance art. I thought they were overstating the weird part. I was wrong.

Throughout the concert, three band members devoted themselves entirely to bouncing about the stage in a series of elaborate costumes, from wailing babies wielding feather guns to a dancing four-winged masked angel to zombies toting strobe lights. In some cases, the performers even blurred the line between costume and set piece, like when all three of them bounced with the music under a single amorphous membrane or combined props to form a plump skeleton with grotesquely huge arms.

The pomp and silliness actually did a good job complementing of Montreal’s music, which was bouncy and teasing even as it

delivered the energy and the shredding you’d expect of a hard rock band.

The band also incorporated a variety of influences into their show, with a few highlights including the ’70s-jam-flavored “Fugitive Air”, the bluesy “Obsidian Currents” and the disco-like “Suffer For Fashion,” Of course there were also some pretty great straight pop songs like “Heimdalsgate Like A Promethean Curse” and “Coquet Coquette”.

It’s a shame that such a great show drew only a tiny crowd, with only about a quarter of the Cain’s Ballroom floor filled. Then again, of Montreal has always been a band that has polarized listeners between believers and doubters.

As of Tuesday, you can count me as a believer.

SGE hosts open mic night Web Editor Sam Chott shares his thoughts on the Society for Gender Equality’s recent Open Mic Night.

Just pretend he was wearing flannel the entire time.

“So who here likes dildos?” asked stand-up comedian Laura Weiderhaft, waiting for a response from her audience. “If nobody at a Society for Gender Equality event likes dildos, what hope is there for the rest of us?”

Don’t take Weiderhaft’s humorous joke as indicative of the whole Open Mic Night, which featured various performances. The event, hosted by TU’s Society for Gender Equality, included mostly poetry readings, but there were also a couple of musicians with guitars in addition to the aforementioned standup comedian.

There were only a handful of TU students, with the majority of the performers coming from elsewhere around Tulsa. Most of the subject matter was what you might expect from a gender-focused open mic night—poetry about recovering from sexual assault, gender-neutral love poetry and a song about not knowing what to say to pretty people, among other things.

One of the things that was most striking, at least to me, was

the atmosphere of the event. I’ve never been to any kind of poetry reading, let alone a public open mic night. The event was held at the Phoenix, a coffee house that I might describe as “excessively trendy” even before it was filled with flannel-wearing, poetry reading twenty somethings.

Wearing a hoodie that I got for free from a university event, I felt how I imagine out-of-towners feel in Portland.

The actual performances were a mixed bag. I mentioned that the subject matter was what you might expect, but some of the poetry was also exactly what you would expect. It seemed like it was made to be heartfelt, but came off as trite and cliched. I wanted to like it, but it seemed raw, and not in an angry, emotional explosion kind of way but in a “poetry is trendy, I should write a poem sometime” kind of way.

Other performances were different, however. The musicians were good, and one had a pretty nice whistling solo. The stand-up was funny, and Weiderhaft’s jokes honestly seemed more relevant than some of the poetry. The best performance was by TU student and slam poet Nick Weaver. He switched between humor and seri-

Elias Brinkman / Collegian

Heat Death isn’t that scary

In this week’s edition of the Void, Existentialism Editor Will Boogert examines the second law of thermodynamics, the inevitable heat death of the universe and concludes with ice cream.

The second law of thermodynamics—the mere mention of this sinister specter elicits as many cries of horror as it does confused shrugs.

Well, if you don’t understand the implications of this tragic cosmic disease, then I will lay them out for you.

You know how the sun heats the Earth? And how that’s a good thing? That’s an example of heat transfer, and it’s the entire reason we are able to exist as organisms in our human form. If that doesn’t sound like a good thing to you, then just remember that without heat transfer, we would have no excuse to cuddle with other cold humans on snowy winter nights; without heat transfer, your coffee would never be cool enough to drink (not to mention you could never get it to be that hot in the first place (ev en though you would never even exist to be witnessing these impossible things in the first place)).

The second law of thermodynamics (probably) implies that, over time—we’re talking millions upon billions of years here—all this heat transfer is eventually going to stop happening, or something. There will be no more temperature differences left in the universe which can be exploited to

ousness quickly, almost imperceptibly, and rather than resulting in emotional whiplash, it only served to highlight how multifaceted the situations he described really are.

I’ve never heard slam poetry before, but I’m now a fan.

As far as I know, SGE doesn’t have any set plans to host any other open mic nights. If there are more, I recommend you attend, because of the quality performances and the exposure to a set of values that’s possibly different from your own. Coming from a primarily Catholic background, I’d never heard a poem that’s edited on the fly because the subject of the poem recently changed the pronoun they refer to themselves with, and that’s certainly a potentially enlightening experience. I’m a hot chocolate guy, but apparently the coffee at the Phoenix is pretty good too. Just remember to wear something trendy.

SGE meets every Thursday night at 8 p.m., at the Little Blue House behind Chapman.

perform work (thanks Wikipedia).

Basically that means we’re dead, if we didn’t already die out as a race eons before then.

So that sucks. Our existence, as a species, as biological life at all, has a date with the guillotine of uniformity.

But this is all remarkably cheerful compared to the reality of things. The truth is, the universe is on a collision course with nothingness. How can nothing and something collide, you ask? Well, they can’t. Which is what is so damn scary about the whole thing. Once there is nothing happening in the universe anymore, it just kind of … I don’t know.

Of course I don’t know. I can only know and describe the reality in which I, as a human, have evolved. And after that, I guess the universe will just sort of stop existing, either in a Big Crunch or in a Big Freeze, or a Big Bird, or a Big Gulp. And then it will have returned home whence it came, wherever that is.

So the heat death of the universe and the second law of thermodynamics are just processes within a universe that is itself an infinitesimal part of the much larger scale of reality/non-reality, which is The Void. There is nothing that anyone can do to describe it or know it, but sensing the creeping influence of its presence is infinitely worse than a pretty cool scientific concept that justifies eating ice cream in the summer.

Right: Laura Wiederhaft performs stand up comedy.

Far Right: Nick Weaver performs slam poetry about body image and the meaning of “sexy.”

Below: Bay Ivy opens open mic night with poetry in front of the Phoenix crowd.

Connor Hasting / Collegian

the Collegian: 8

27 october 2014

Madeline Woods / Collegian

OK best in nation at education funding cuts Oklahoma has undergone more cuts to education funding than any other state, and this is detrimental to everything from class sizes to attracting businesses.

Shelby Branch Student Writer

Oklahoma is number one! ... at education cuts. A new report shows that Oklahoma has slashed per pupil spending by 22.8 percent, the highest per pupil spending cuts in the nation. Alabama follows not far behind us with 20.1 percent, followed by Arizona with 17.2 percent.

However, not all states are cutting into their education budget.

In fact, Wyoming is increasing its budget by 7.2 percent, Connecticut by 7.5 percent and North Da-

kota by a whopping 27.2 percent.

While the difference between the costs per pupil in our state compared to other states cannot be measured accurately because of factors such as average household income and cost of living varying from state to state, the amount we are spending on students seems irresponsible compared to the highest amount states are spending on education. The highest amount found for per pupil spending per year by researchers for Oklahoma is $7,000.

Oklahoma dedicates 3.1 percent of its state taxable resources to public funding, ranking 36th in the nation in that category. These cuts at the state level means local school districts have two options: raise local taxes or reduce the services they provide. Raising local taxes is harder than one might as-

sume, especially in lower income neighborhoods, meaning the gap between how much a school used to receive from the state and how much it now receives from the state is unlikely to be filled.

The most important of these results is the recruitment of future teachers and the retention of current teachers to keep class sizes small, so that students may receive more individual attention, enabling them to succeed in school.

Since the recession, Oklahoma has 1,500 fewer classroom teachers and 40,000 more students. Politicians have made new testing and accountability mandates, but without more funding, which doesn’t add up very well. One might wonder what these politicians and people in charge could possibly be thinking.

Janet Barresi, the state super-

intendent, had a sophisticated response to this report regarding educational expenses: She said she had not read the review. (We will dearly miss you, Barresi, when you leave office.) In addition, the governor’s communications director, Alex Weintz, said education remained a “priority” for Fallin. I believe that, because she cut education spending by 4.1 percent in 2012, a decrease of $97 million in funding for common education.

Yes, education definitely seems to be a top priority for everyone.

“Why should I care?” I’m glad you asked! Because you are selfish. Stay with me here—if you care about the competence of the people you will be working with in the future, or even if someone is capable of getting your triple, venti, half sweet, non-fat, caramel macchiato Starbucks drink just

right, educational standards should be of high relevance to you.

Educated and skilled workers are essential in our state and nation to compete globally in the upcoming years. Cuts are not helping this issue. With few exceptions, states where workers earn the highest wages are states with the most college graduates, while states with the lowest median wages are those with the least college graduates.

Higher wages is likely to mean more profit for businesses, meaning the economy is being stimulated. Therefore, these cuts save us money now but they are hurting our economy for the future. The best way to ensure a secure future is by investing in young people.

Let’s invest in students and in return, invest in our future.

Students choose comfort over intercultural interactions It’s easy for students to stick around people like them, but branching out has its perks.

Giselle Willis

Commentary/Barricade Editor Interactions between international and domestic students leave a lot to be desired. This isn’t anyone’s fault, but it needs to change.

The similarity-attraction hypothesis states that people are more attracted to those they perceive as being similar to them. It’s easy to like someone who looks, talks, and thinks similarly to oneself, but all of these factors—facial features, language, and viewpoint—are biologically determined and culturally learned, respectively. So it is that even as TU accepts more and more international students, crosscultural interactions are minimal.

That’s not to say that intercultural relationships don’t develop here, or that if they don’t, it’s because everyone’s racist. Both domestic and international students may feel they don’t know how to approach people in the other group. There’s a language barrier and a cultural barrier, and the two together inscribe individuals within their comfort zones.

Nevertheless, Christopher Viers, the associate vice president for international services at Indiana University, developed an International Student Barometer survey, and found that compared to relationships with other international students (whether or not they were from the individual’s home country), international students rated relationships with

American students as more important to them. The idea is that these students wouldn’t come here if they weren’t also at least somewhat interested in this country and its people. This is the same reason for which American students study abroad.

Still, it’s hard to orchestrate meaningful interactions. That’s the problem too, that interactions between international students and domestics are too often “orchestrated.” They tend to revolve around big once-a-year events, like Chinese New Year or Holi or an independence day. Viers says that these programs are not as meaningful in the long run compared to smaller, mixed groups meeting regularly over common interests.

As members of the TU community, we should not only recognize what a privilege it is to be able to interact with people from the other side of the world—we should make long-term efforts to act on this realization.

Larry Braskamp, president of the Global Perspective Institute, has identified three reasons for why cross-cultural communications on campuses are vital.

The first is simply that there are so many international students on American campuses these days that a continued, nationwide disconnect between them and domestics would be like flushing gems of knowledge down a toilet.

Second, universities especially are interested in preparing their students to be globally competent, and rightfully so, as different cultures and ethnicities come into in-

creasingly close contact.

Finally, most international students have to pay full tuition.

Yung-Hwa Anna Chow, Global Engagement Commission Chair at Kansas State University, has linked the recent boom in international student enrollment at American universities to the 2008 economic crisis and federal budget cuts, since institutions find that these students generate more revenue. Such a profitable trend is likely to continue.

It’s not enough, then, to passively tolerate international students on this campus. Leaving one’s dorm room door unlocked is not the same as actively propping it open, and the same applies

to cross-cultural relationships. Active cultural appreciation for domestic students doesn’t mean trying to welcome every person who looks foreign to the United States either, and international students don’t need to go out of their way to only talk to American students.

Ideally, every student would have domestic and international friends, and they would meet organically, through shared interests.

Joining any campus organization is a great way for members of both student groups to bond over commonalities that may not have seemed obvious. There are also campus resources specifically for international and domestic students to meet, such as ‘Cane

Connections and the Cultural Exchange Coalition. ‘Cane Connections is a program through which students can sign up to receive either an international or domestic partner. When signing up, students can specify whether they would like someone who speaks a certain language or is from a certain area, and participants are paired based on similar interests. The Cultural Exchange Coalition hosts lowpressure events throughout the year, and helps advertise for those bigger, once-a-year programs that the national student groups host.

For more information on either resource, you can email gisellewilliscuauhtle@utulsa.edu.

Courtesy Fox News

Acapulco residents took to the streets on Oct. 17 with the pictures of 43 students who went missing after they were arrested by local police in Iguala, Mexico, because they were on their way to another protest. The disappearance is reflective of broader issues with government corruption.

Medical amnesty laws support safety Oklahoma has passed medical amnesty laws that protect underage drinkers from arrest if they call for medical attention. TU should implement its own medical amnesty policies to encourage safety.

Morgan Krueger Features Editor

“Alcohol-related unintentional incidents are a leading cause of death among young people living in the U.S.” according to the Medical Amnesty Initiative, a non-profit organization dedicated to developing and advocating for the passage of medical amnesty legislation.

Medical amnesty laws protect people who seek medical attention in response to illegal actions, specifically underage alcohol consumption. These policies are spreading across the United States, and affect colleges especially.

Medical amnesty laws are statewide laws that give intoxicated minors some level of legal immunity,

which varies state to state, when they seek help for either themselves or another individual who need immediate medical attention due to alcoholic consumption.

Cornell University conducted a study and concluded that while 19 percent of college students admitted help should have been called for a person who was highly intoxicated, only 4 percent made that call.

Sixty-eight percent of teenagers report being afraid of getting in trouble, either with the law or with their legal guardians, when they drink.

Medical amnesty laws help reduce that fear so that when someone is severely intoxicated and needs medical attention, underage drinkers are more likely to call for help.

Currently, 21 states have medical amnesty laws that provide underage drinkers with some degree of immunity. These levels of protection vary state to state.

After one medical amnesty policy was implemented, the amount of alcohol-related EMS calls in-

creased nearly 700 percent. 911 calls also increased, while fear of judicial repercussion decreased, according to the Medical Amnesty Initiative.

While noted concerns include the fear that these policies endorse drinking and would cause an increase in underage alcohol consumption, studies show drinking levels stay the same after medical amnesty laws are passed.

Oklahoma passed a medical amnesty law that became effective on Nov. 1, 2013.

The law states that “a peace officer may not take a person into custody based solely on the commission of an offense involving alcohol … if the law enforcement officer has contact with the person because the person requested emergency medical assistance for an assistance due to alcohol consumption.”

This means if you have contact with a police officer because you or a friend needed emergency medical assistance due to alcohol consumption, you cannot be taken into custody.

This only holds true, however, if you provide your full name and any other relevant information the law officer asks for, if you stay with the individual who needs medical help until emergency medical assistance arrives, and if you cooperate with both law enforcement officers and emergency medical assistance personnel.

If you follow those steps, you are immune from criminal prosecution in the state of Oklahoma, in this specific circumstance.

This only holds true in Oklahoma. Other states may have variations of, or no medical amnesty laws.

To read Oklahoma’s official amendatory legislature in its entirety, see medicalamnesty.org.

State-wide laws save lives, but what about university rules? Students may be scared of expulsion or other academic penalties their school may dole out if students are caught drinking.

Universities can have medical amnesty policies as well. The University of Delaware, Cornell University and many others have such

policies in place to encourage their students to call for medical assistance when it is needed. These policies keep students from being too paralyzed by fear to get the medical attention they or a friend might need.

The University of Tulsa has no such policies listed in their alcohol policy. A first alcohol violation can result in a $150 fine, semester long probation, a required educational workshop and parents being informed by a letter, among other things.

Penalties increase per offense, with a third offense resulting in a suspension from TU for one semester.

There is no mention of exceptions to be made if a student was caught because they sought out medical assistance.

The University of Tulsa would benefit from a medical amnesty policy. Anything that makes students more comfortable seeking out emergency medical assistance is beneficial for both the students and the university.

27 october 2014

the Collegian: 9

TRUE BLUE NEIGHBORS IS NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR THE MARCY LAWLESS SERVICE AWARD

check it out…

the new school-wide calendar

tudents graduating in December 2014 or May 2015 who demonstrate a generous spirit, creativity, vision, pursuit of excellence, and commitment to serving others both on campus and in the greater Tulsa community are eligible to receive the Marcy Lawless Service Award. Applications can be found at the

DOWNLOAD THE APP!

Student Affairs Office in Allen Chapman Student Union,

https://utulsa.ventfull.com

applications must be submitted to the True Blue Neighbors

Housing Office in Fisher Hall, Registration and Records Office in McClure Hall, and the True Blue Neighbors Volunteer Center in Sharp Chapel, Room 209. All

Volunteer Center by noon on Friday, October 24.

Spring Break 2015 in Rio

Enroll in the Spring 2015 TU course IB 4013/6013—Topics in International Business: “Doing Business in Emerging Economies” and go with your faculty and classmates to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil during Spring Break!

Course Description:

According to data from the International Monetary Fund, emerging markets now account for over half of the world’s economic activity, whereas in 1980 they accounted for less than one-third. The importance of such economies looks to increase in the future, given current demographic and production trends. It therefore is necessary to future managers to learn about these economies and how to conduct business in them.

This course seeks to study the largest of these economies: China, India, Brazil, and Russia. Students will learn about the both the similarities and differences among these markets. Beyond stylized facts, students will assess actual business scenarios using the case method and experience what business is like in an emerging market during the capstone trip to Brazil during the spring break of 2015. Emphasis is placed on applied knowledge that will benefit the student as he/she enters the workforce. The course is pending approval.

Pre-reqs: None. Open to all TU students (undergrad & grad), 2 Econ classes recommended.

Course Fee: Regular TU tuition for Spring 15 + US$2,200 (See website for details) Application Deadline, December 13th, 2014

Travel Dates: March 12-22, 2015

Attend an Info Session!!!

Information sessions will be held on Oct. 24th, 12:30-12:50pm Allen Chapman Student Union GREAT HALL B and Oct. 31st 12:30-12:50 Allen Chapman Student Union ALCOVE. Come by to learn more about the program!

For more information and to apply: * Prof. Mike Troilo * 918-631-2998 mike-troilo@utulsa.edu * Candice Chinsethagid *

http://utulsa.studioabroad.com/?go=doingbusiness

27 OCTOber 2014

the

The State-Run Media

State-Run media Insists on using the oxford comma.

Lord of Creation disappointed yet again

In response to some recent musical criticism, God Himself has decided to grace us with His own critique of human artistic endeavor and achievement.

God

Lord of Hosts, Big Man Upstairs Dear puny humans, In my absolute knowledge I have seen the interior of this paper, including its various music and art reviews, and I have only one thing to say. I, the Lord almighty, am not impressed with your attempts at artistic expression.

Let me tell you, being an omniscient deity with an exhaustive knowledge of all human and angelic creative endeavors sure as hell ruins art.

Take, for instance, the Beatles.

You seem to think they’re pretty

great. But if you’d taken the effort to go see the street musicians at the height of ancient Gomorrah, you’d be a lot less impressed.

I mean, really, at least act like you’ve been around a few times.

And all those symphony orchestras you love, their music seems facile compared to the angelic orchestras, with their inverted french horns and their twelve-dimensional percussive membranes.

Once you understand music, really understand it, you come to realize that violins and cellos are rather uninteresting instruments.

Worst of all, not only can I see all of your creative endeavors, I know exactly how they can be made better. When you human beings want to make art, you just kind of guess at it until you get something that seems right. You revere those who have practiced at guessing long enough to make

guesses that are slightly less directionless than everyone else’s.

But when I look at, say, the Sistine Chapel, I can see every single alternative to Michelangelo’s design, including the ones that are objectively better than what he actually did. Seeing him stumble through his inferior design is like watching your seven-year-old sister’s violin recital. It is profoundly disappointing.

Ok, don’t get so hurt. I’ll throw you a bone. There is one creative endeavor of modern humanity that I kind of enjoy: cat videos on the internet. We don’t usually talk about it, but the angels and I love to look at those. They are great when I need a distraction from being Almighty Lord of the Universe. Keep ‘em coming.

Sincerely, The Lord God Almighty, CrePortrait Courtesy of Michelangelo, who got the nose wrong. ator of Heaven and Earth, etc.

God sitting through another fucking Bach fugue.

Gotta catch ’em all: if TU buildings were Pokemon Our resident Pokemon master analyzes our campus and draws comparisons between our buildings and everyone’s favorite magical marketable monsters.

Steven Buchele The Very Best

Photo by Sarah Power

The ominously looming towers of Keplinger Hall, a horrible monstrosity that will one day destroy us all in a fiery maelstrom of death and pain.

TU student tries to decide whether or not to go to lecture for free food TU Student Stanley Rickman keeps this reporter on his toes with his riveting backand-forth monologue. No conclusions were reached.

Fraser Kastner

Never pays for lunch Sources confirmed Tuesday that sophomore Stanley Rickman is trying to decide whether or not to attend a guest lecture on Friday for the sake of free food.

The talk being given, titled “Where the Buffalo Roam: Historical Perspectives on Bison Migration in Northern Kansas” has been described by attendees at other universities as “unreasonably long” and “a nightmarish conga line of boredom.”

Despite these foreboding warnings, sources say Rickman is giving serious thought to attending based solely on the promise of free food.

“They said in the announcement that there would be pizza. As far

as I’m concerned, that’s a good enough reason to attend anything,” said Rickman, scratching his chin.

“Although now that I think of it, I’ve been meaning to do some laundry for several weeks now.

Maybe I should do that instead.”

The sophomore, who frequently skips classes because he is “just not feelin’ it,” continues to struggle with the question of whether free food is worth two boring hours of his life.

“I’ve been watching Stanley for a while,” said Marsha Winters, a biology major and classmate of Rickman’s. “It’s really quite fascinating to see the forces of laziness fight it out inside one man. Well, man-child.”

“Maybe I can just grab the pizza and bail,” mused Rickman. “Wait, what if they don’t serve it until the end?”

At press time, Rickman was still undecided. Most of his friends, however, predicted that he would probably just call it a night after his 2:30 p.m. class.

With ACSU quickly becoming colloquial, several people have pointed out the tangential connection to the Pokemon “Axew” from the 5th Generation of Pokemon.

We here at the State Run Media feel it is our great duty to correct this grievous error. The Union is nothing like the odd little green dragon with a freaky overbite.

However, it did get us thinking; What is the spirit Pokemon of the buildings on campus?

Keplinger: Mewtwo. Both the building and the pokemon are soulless abominations created by science with the sole goal of crushing everything that comes near them.

Oliphant: Exeggutor. Oliphant is known for having plants on top of the building and several different purposes that have little to nothing to do with each other.

Caf: Grimer. One is putrid smelling, a living health code vio-

lation, and causes people to lose their appetite. The other is a pokemon made out of living sludge.

Rayzor: Metagross. Metagross is a Pokemon known for its super computer-like mind, and its practice of pinning down and crushing its prey as it eats them alive.

Helmerich: Meowth. Team Rocket has a talking Meowth that can con his way out of any situation. Plus this pokemon alway has money on its mind (literally.)

Lottie Jane and John Mabee: Nidoking and Nidoqueen. Intimidating, old, but a classic pair.

Lorton Performance Center: Jigglypuff. In the old TV show there was the Jigglypuff who would stalk the main gang and put them to sleep by singing. Judging by the number of people you find sleeping in the LPC, that Jigglypuff has got to be hiding in there somewhere.

Kendall: Porygon. Both have a minimum of right angles and both have probably caused dozens of people to collapse in seizures.

Chapman: Hypno. Both have creepy designs, and after encountering either one you can feel like you’ve been hypnotized into doing something.

Tyrrell: Arcanine. Arcanine was once a kind of mascot for Pokemon, kind of like Tyrell was once

one of the most important buildings on campus. Now both have been mostly forgotten, but still look pretty dang cool.

Zink: Golem. Both have kind of strange designs, and just like you need to evolve Graveler to get Golem by trading with a friend, you need a friend to help you find this building.

McFarlin: Pikachu. Both Pikachu and McFarlin serve as mascots, but secretly have a lot of other useful features besides sitting on one’s shelf and looking cute.

Reynolds Center: Snorlax. Have you seen how huge and round the building actually is? Stick ears and a sleeping face on it, and it’s practically the sleeping giant teddy bear. (Also both have a long track record of making traffic impossible on certain days.)

Physical Plant: Magneton.

While there are quite a few things we don’t understand about the Physical Plant and Magneton (like why it seems to weigh significantly more than the three magnemite that it’s made off) we have to admit, we’d be lost without either.

Pokemon Master Buchele’s notes ended after this. It is believed that shortly after completing this piece he had an unfortunate run-in with some Ratatas in the tall grass.

Collegian apologizes for printing facts After a series of courageously posted anonymous online complaints, the liberal stooges at the Collegian scramble to fix the truth.

Kyle Walker

Objective Journalist

The University of Tulsa Collegian has released a statement in response to a recent rash of anonymous online complaints which allege, among other things, that the publication is too “opinionsbased.”

“We’re really not sure where this is coming from,” Lark Weekly, Editor-in-Chief of the Collegian, told the State-Run Media.

“Apparently, voting, sustainabil-

ity and poverty are liberal issues.

Who knew?”

In a futile attempt to rescue the paper’s plummeting public image, Collegian staff circulated a hastily drafted apology last week in which they promised to produce a paper that was “even more fact-based” and “less interesting” than in previous semesters.

“We recognize that the world of print journalism is changing in many ways every day,” the statement read. “There seems to be an emerging consensus that the Collegian should do more to balance every single niche or fringe interest.”

“We’re terribly sorry if we ever reported a fact that conflicts with your world view,” the Collegian staff said.

According to Colin “Liberal Bias” Fenner, the Collegian’s Managing Editor, junior Collegian staffers have been trawling the newspaper’s archives and adding the word “may” or “potentially” to every substantive factual claim ever made by the paper.

A source close to the paper said the Collegian would be implementing a new online objectivity education module and a new objectivity pledge. Staff will also be held accountable for any complaints posted on anonymous social media sites.

At press time, the anonymous complaints appeared to be the work of a single irate user who didn’t have the time to write a letter to the editor.