8 April 2013 Issue of the Collegian

Page 1

a student newspaper of the university of tulsa

april 8, 2013 issue 22 ~ volume 98

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Is something missing? yet protected classes. In order to foster a more open and accepting environment, many colleges and universities implement a nondiscrimination policy. Many of these policies prohibit those institutions from making employment decisions based on NIKKI HAGER PLQRULW\ DIĂ€OLDWLRQV DV ZHOO DV Student Writer prohibiting universities from makor the past several weeks, ing acceptance to the institution much of America’s attention DIĂ€OLDWLRQ EDVHG has been focused on an issue that In fact, 81 of the top 88 US has been gaining momentum in re- News and World Report Top Unicent years: gay marriage. versities have a nondiscrimination Facebook was plastered with policy that includes sexual oriUHG SURĂ€OH SLFWXUHV DQG SRVWV UH- entation. Of the seven remaining acting to the pending Supreme schools, most have a very strong Court cases regarding the Defense UHOLJLRXV DIĂ€OLDWLRQ ([DPSOHV LQof Marriage Act and California’s clude Notre Dame and Brigham Proposition 8, two laws which re- Young University. strict gay marriage. For instance, Rice University These landmark cases have the “does not discriminate against potential to overhaul how the fed- individuals on the basis of race, HUDO JRYHUQPHQW GHĂ€QHV PDUULDJH color, religion, sex, sexual orienWhile the country waits for the tation, gender identity, national Supreme Court’s decision, Pride, or ethnic origin, ancestry, age, the University of Tulsa’s bisexual, disability, or veteran status in its lesbian, gay, transgender, queer admissions, its educational proand straight organization, is work- grams, or employment.â€? ing with a Student Association TU, with the exception of the senator to request revision of the School of Law, lacks a nondisuniversity’s anti-discrimination crimination policy entirely. statutes. The Student Code of Conduct TU currently lacks a policy pre- under the General Standard of venting discrimination based upon Conduct Policy section refersexual orientation. ences a nondiscrimination policy: Under current federal law, em- “Activities that violate University ployers and universities are not al- policies of nondiscrimination in lowed to discriminate based on in- regard tolerance, religion, national GLYLGXDOV¡ DIĂ€OLDWLRQ ZLWK D YDULHW\ origin, ethnic origin, age, gender, of characteristics including race, handicap, or status as a veteran‌â€? religion, sex, age, medical condi- However, the Department of Hution and pregnancy. man Resources was unable to proHowever, sexual orientation vide the text of any such policy and gender identity groups are not when contacted.

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In contrast, the TU School of Law does have a nondiscrimination policy in place. It was passed several years ago in order to meet accreditation standards, according WR WKH ([HFXWLYH 'LUHFWRU RI 8QLWed Campus Ministries, Reverend 1DQF\ (JJHQ TU does, however, have other anti-discrimination policies. There is a nonharassment policy, as well as an equal opportunity policy and VHYHUDO DIĂ€UPDWLYH DFWLRQ SROLFLHV ZKLFK SURWHFW FODVVHV VSHFLĂ€HG XQder state and federal law. However, JURXSV DIĂ€OLDWHG ZLWK sexual orientation and gender identity are not legally protected classes. Under current TU policy, VWDII FRXOG SRWHQWLDOO\ EH Ă€UHG RU denied employment because they identify with a certain sexual orientation or gender identity. The lack of a nondiscrimination policy also affects future students. While current students may feel that TU is a very welcoming community to minority students, prospective students have no way of knowing this, according to Pride President Zachary Harvat. They may turn to university policies to determine if they will feel safe and accepted. Harvat was very concerned when he learned that these groups were not protected classes under the current policy. “While , Ă€QG 78 D YHU\ RSHQ and accepting environment, I GRQ¡W WKLQN WKDW LW¡V UHĂ HFWHG LQ WKH current policy,â€? Harvat said. “I don’t think that it would ever happen,â€? Harvat continued, “but it bothers me that faculty and staff FDQ EH Ă€UHG EHFDXVH RI WKHLU VH[XDO

orientation and gender identity.â€? Marty Phillips of the Human Resources Department described several staff reaction to the policy. “Three separate people in equality service each contacted me after they took the harassment training,â€? Phillips said, “and said they were disappointed that the policy ZDV QRW VSHFLĂ€F DQG QRW LQFOXVLYH with LGBT individuals.â€? Harvat and the rest of Pride are working along with SA Senator Whitney House to draft legislation that would protect sexual orientation and gender identity.

Since the university does not KDYH DQ RIĂ€FLDO QRQGLVFULPLQDWLRQ policy, House believes it is likely that SA will pursue a policy that adds sexual orientation and gender identity to the equal opportunity policy. In 2005 SA attempted to pass similar legislation. While it did pass in SA Senate, the legislation was never signed by President Steadman Upham. While the administration was unable to provide a concrete

See Rights page 3

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Kendall-­Whittier  Testing Kendall-­Whittier  Elementary  will  begin  state  testing  soon  and  many  volunteers  are  needed  to  monitor  class  rooms.  Volunteers  are  needed  April  10,  11,  12,  &  16  from  8:15–11:30  and  April  17,  18,  &  19  from  8:15–11:30. Children’s  Book  Drive Reading  is  the  foundation  for  success  in  school  and  life,  yet  many  children  do  not  have  books  within  their  homes.  April  1–April  12  we  will  be  collecting  books  for  Pre-­K  thru  6th  grade  to  benefit  the  Lighthouse  Charter  School  in  north  Tulsa.  Collection  bins  will  be  placed  in  Chapman  Hall,  Helmerich  Hall,  McFarlin  Library,  McClure  Hall,  Collins  Hall,  Oliphant  Hall,  Holmes  Student  Center,  the  Blue  House,  and  the  University  School. National  Volunteer  Week  is  April  22–April  26.  Watch  for  upcoming  opportunities.  Recording  Volunteer  Hours If  you  or  your  organization  has  completed  service/volunteer  hours  this  academic  year,  please  go  to  www.utulsa.edu/tbn  and  select  Recording  Volunteer  Hours.  Anyone  interested  in  any  of  these  or  other  volunteer  opportunities  should  contact  Kathy  Shelton  in  the  True  Blue  Neighbor  Volunteer  Center  at  kathy-­shelton@utulsa.edu

8 APRIL 2013

Sports

THE COLLEGIAN : 2

Tulsa commits to American Athletic Conference cant step in building a strong conference.â€? $IWHU (631 UHSRUWHG WKH SULRU )ULGD\ that the deal was all but announced, many %LJ (DVW IDQV WRRN WR WKH ,QWHUQHW WR DUJXH that Tulsa was too small of a school for the emerging AAC, and would not bring in enough of a television market and quality WILL BRAMLETT competition. Student writer In an attempt to quell the worries about the addition of Tulsa over a larger school, On the morning of April 2, the University of Aresco added, “Tulsa brings a rich academTulsa called a press conference in the PresiLF SURĂ€OH RXWVWDQGLQJ DQG VWRULHG DWKOHWLF dent’s Suite in the Reynolds Center. The programs, and devoted fan base ... the uniconference was to announce the school’s versity will be a valued member of our conPRYH IURP &RQIHUHQFH 86$ WR WKH %LJ (DVW ference and will make us even more comUniversity President Steadman Upham petitive across the collegiate landscape.â€? and the new Director of Tulsa Athletics Dr. 8SKDP DQG WKH %LJ (DVW ERWK FLWHG WKH Derrick Gragg announced to a crowd of Golden Hurricane’s 49 conference titles coaches, staff and press that the school’s since joining C-USA in 2005 and the UniPRYH WR WKH %LJ (DVW ZLOO KDSSHQ -XO\ YHUVLW\¡V WK SODFH Ă€QLVK LQ WKH /HDUĂ€HOG 2014. Sports Director’s Cup standings last year. Some universities, especially during 7KH /HDUĂ€HOG 6SRUWV 'LUHFWRU¡V &XS UDQNV times of transition, divide football or basschools based on the achievements across ketball and other sports between multiple all collegiate sports. conferences, but all of Tulsa’s NCAA sports 7KH *ROGHQ +XUULFDQH ZLOO OLNHO\ EHQHĂ€W ZLOO EH PRYLQJ WR WKH %LJ (DVW ´7KDW ZDV Ă€QDQFLDOO\ IURP WKH PRYH SDUWDNLQJ LQ WKH one of the things that we felt very strongly Tulsa was admitted to the conference in AAC’s bigger television contract, which has about. If we change conference, we want to D XQDQLPRXV YRWH E\ WKH %LJ (DVW %RDUG RI been estimated at between $3.5 and 4.5 mildo it as a university,â€? Upham said. Directors. In a memo released by the Big lion, more than doubling its media-rights 7KH %LJ (DVW LV VKHGGLQJ VHYHQ EDVNHW- (DVW ZKLFK FRLQFLGHG ZLWK WKH XQLYHUVLW\¡V income from the C-USA. ball-only members this summer. The de- SUHVV FRQIHUHQFH %LJ (DVW &RPPLVVLRQHU parting seven will purchase the name “Big Michael Aresco said, “The addition of The (DVWÂľ IRU WKHLU QHZ FRQIHUHQFH DQG ZKDW LV 8QLYHUVLW\ RI 7XOVD PDUNV DQRWKHU VLJQLĂ€-

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FXUUHQWO\ WKH %LJ (DVW ZLOO KDYH WR Ă€QG D new name. The day after Tulsa’s press conIHUHQFH WKH %LJ (DVW DQQRXQFHG WKDW LWV QHZ name will be the “American Athletic Conference.â€? Tulsa will be joining six other former C-USA schools which are leaving for the American Athletic Conference over the next two years. Teams leaving C-USA this summer are the University of Central Florida, Memphis, Houston and Southern Methodist University. The schools leaving with Tulsa DUH (DVW &DUROLQD DQG 7XODQH In addition to those schools, Tulsa will IDFH FXUUHQW %LJ (DVW PHPEHUV &LQFLQQDWL Connecticut, South Florida and Temple. The United States Naval Academy will also be joining the AAC in 2015 as a football-only member.

Statue honors Tulsa football icon

“Tulsa brings outstanding and storied athletic programs�

Gaming real sport—unlike cheerleading

9LGHR DQG FRPSXWHU JDPHV PD\ EH YLUWXDO EXW WKH VSRUW RI JDPLQJ LV UHDO CHRISTOPHER FISHER Student Writer

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Students take to the lawns for spring enjoyment

6WXGHQWV DUH HPHUJLQJ IURP ZLQWHU Most of us are frustrated when we casually RQWR 78 V PDQ\ ODZQV WR PHHW WKH WXUQ WKH FKDQQHO WR (631 RQ D OD]\ 6DWXU- FRPLQJ VSULQJ ZLWK VSRUWLQJ JHDU LQ GD\ RQO\ WR Ă€QG FRPSHWLWLYH FKHHUOHDGLQJ KDQG being televised. BEATE HALL We yell, “That’s not a sport!â€? and change $XEU\ 0LGNLII &ROOHJLDQ

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Fans enjoy football Spring Game 7XOVD V IRRWEDOO WHDP WRRN WKH ILHOG 6DWXUGD\ IRU WKH DQQXDO 6SULQJ *DPH HQWHUWDLQLQJ IRRWEDOO VWDUYHG IDQV ZLWK D SHHN LQWR KRZ WKH +XUULFDQH SUDFWLFHV JAKE DODSON Student writer TU’s 2012 football season ended with a Conference USA Championship victory over the University of Central Florida and a dominating victory over Iowa State in the Liberty Bowl. With last season’s victories in the background, spring practice has now been in full swing for the Golden Hurricane football team for weeks, culminating in Saturday’s annual Spring Game. This year, the Spring Game was focused on fan interaction. Fans were encouraged to bring lawn chairs and blankets and sit RQ WKH QRUWK \DUGV RI WKH Ă€HOG ZKLOH WKH actual game action took place on the south 50, bringing fans closer to the action. Head Coach Bill Blankenship provided the crowd with game commentary and interviewed players during timeouts. Passing and kicking competitions were also held during timeouts, in which fans ZRXOG WDNH WKH Ă€HOG DQG FRPSHWH DJDLQVW each other as current TU players offered advice. Starting quarterback Cody Green told one fan who came to throw a pass during a timeout, “The easy part is throwing it. The hard part is them catching it.â€? During play, the team looked as impressive as during the 2012 season. BlankenVKLS DOWHUQDWHG WKH Ă€UVW WHDP RIIHQVH DQG Ă€UVW WHDP GHIHQVH RQ WKH Ă€HOG VR WKDW IDQV could see different players and situations. Green looked sharp, connecting on 10 of his 14 throwing attempts for 80 yards and two touchdowns. 6HFRQG VWULQJ TXDUWHUEDFN 'DQH (YDQV DOVR ORRNHG VROLG JRLQJ IRXU RI Ă€YH IRU and one touchdown. Running back Trey Watts led the TU run game with 10 carries for 67 yards and one touchdown. Because of injuries to starting wide receivers Keyarris Garrett and Thomas RobHUVRQ -RUGDQ -DPHV ZDV WKH RQO\ UHFHLYHU ZLWK VLJQLĂ€FDQW H[SHULHQFH SOD\LQJ LQ WKH game, and he made the most of it, catching six passes for 67 yards and three touchdowns. Due to a large number of injuries sus-

tained by the Hurricane and the expositional nature of the Spring Game, younger and inexperienced players were thrust into action. One such player was redshirt freshPDQ -DPHV )ODQGHUV ZKR UDQ IRU \DUGV and one impressive touchdown. Freshman receiver Keevan Lucas (who enrolled at TU this spring) also looked impressive, catchLQJ WZR SDVVHV IRU \DUGV DJDLQVW WKH Ă€UVW team defense. Defensively, the Golden Hurricane must replace eight starters from the 2012 team, and it seems that Tulsa has successfully done just that during spring practice. “I feel good about everything. These are the guys we go to battle with now. I feel like we had a great spring. We got better every week,â€? said VWDUWLQJ OLQHEDFNHU 6KDZQ -DFNVRQ -DFNson, along with Trent Martin and Mitchell Osborne, will lead the linebacking corps. While Marco Nelson will lead the secondary from his safety position along with QHZ VWDUWHUV 'DUQHOO :DONHU -U 0LFKDHO Mudoh and Darrell Williams. Perhaps the biggest area of concern for the Hurricane defense is the defensive line, where Tulsa must replace longtime startHUV 'HUULFN -DFNVRQ DQG 'HVKDXQ %XIIRUG 'HIHQVLYH WDFNOHV -DFN -HZHOO DQG 'HUULFN Luetjen are prime candidates for replacing -DFNVRQ DQG %XIIRUG DQG ERWK SHUIRUPHG impressively during the spring game. ´-DFN KDV KDG D JUHDW VSULQJ Âľ %ODQNHQship said. “I think he’s the only senior in that defensive line. I’m hoping that this was a foretaste of what we’re going to get in the IDOO -DFN LV D UHDO SK\VLFDO PLVPDWFK IRU some people. We just have to take him to a level where we can get more plays out of him.â€? Tulsa will also look for leadership from experienced defensive ends Brentom Todd and Derrick Alexander. “I tell you now—and you can mark my words—we have several great defensive ends in the making,â€? Green said. “Brentom Todd, Chris Hummingbird, Damian Gibson, Cory Rahmings, Derrick Alexander. Damian Gibson doesn’t know what he’s doing, and he’s (still) a monster. Cory Rahmings is a freak.â€? Overall it has been a very successful spring for the Golden Hurricane. The defense has been rebuilt and will only continue to improve. The offense looks as though it has not lost a beat from the 2012 season and will only get better once several injured starters return in the fall.

the channel to “WifeSwap.â€? The legitimacy of many pastimes, athletic endeavors and activities as “sportsâ€? is currently moot. 2QH VSRUW WKDW LV Ă€QDOO\ HPHUJLQJ LQWR OHgitimacy is gaming. Gaming includes video games played competitively on electronic devices. Some have responded to the notion of gaming as a sport just as they do to televised cheerleading on an all-sports channel, but gaming mimics or surpasses all other sports in sport-determining categories, including WKH QHFHVVLW\ RI SK\VLFDO Ă€WQHVV DQG DWKOHWLcism, teamwork and the existence of professional leagues and circuits. If you thought gaming didn’t require physical ability, think again. Freshman DaYLG 5ROĂ€QJ D OHJHQGDU\ +DOR SOD\HU ZKR LV the star of Halo Youtube videos with thousands of views, says about training for the game he plays so passionately, “It takes a OLIHWLPH RI WUDLQLQJ WR EXLOG XS WKH UHĂ H[HV needed in order to compete at the highest level in such a fast-paced game as Halo.â€? Personally, as a semi-professional Super 6PDVK %URV SOD\HU , RQO\ Ă€QG P\VHOI LQ the Collins Fitness Center when I realize my strength and cardio levels are not up to par with the rest of my Smash competition. If you think that gaming is anti-social or for loners, you are only partially right. At its highest level, gaming is as much of a team sport as football or basketball. The most successful professional gamers play in teams and even live in team houses. What other sport has teams that all live in the same house? Aspiring professional League of Legends SOD\HU DQG 78 VHQLRU -RUG\ 6DQGHUVRQ VD\V of gaming, “I love how open I can be with all my teammates, and how supporting they can be both in the game and in the rest of life.â€? Professional gaming is possibly the purest of all professional sports. Athletes in the pro gaming leagues are not vastly overpaid, as is the case in almost all other professional sports, yet still display the passion to give up their lives to tour the country or move into team houses. Professional gamers have to make further VDFULĂ€FHV VXFK DV WKH DQQR\LQJ DPRXQWV RI fame and attention they receive. Brandon Roseboro, a professional League of Legends player, recently talked WR PH DERXW WKH GLIĂ€FXOW VLGH RI EHFRPLQJ D famous pro gamer: “The worst thing about being a professional gamer,â€? Roseboro said, “is the amount of girls constantly trying to get with me. I go out to restock on Cheetos and Mountain Dew and if I forget to take my taser I might not make it home that night.â€? We fans must remember that these stars are normal people, too.

Staff writer

With the return of warmth and sunshine, University of Tulsa students have taken to the grassy expanses around campus with gusto. From frisbee tossing on Chapman Commons to sunbathers studying on Dietler Commons, everyone seems to be outside. Some prefer to sit quietly and enjoy the sun while perusing a book, but many take a more active approach and play games on the immaculately manicured lawns of TU. However, with so many green spaces on the TU campus, the ideal spot in the sun can EH GLIĂ€FXOW WR VHOHFW “The best places to play pick up are: the LQWUDPXUDO Ă€HOGV EHFDXVH WKH\¡UH OLJKWHG and marked; Harwell, because it’s always empty and is lighted pretty late; and the New U, because it has really soft grass, fountains to cool off in, and it’s huge,â€? junior Paige Primovic said. Primovic is a member of TU’s Ultimate Frisbee club team, Party Fowl. (YHQ WKRXJK LW LV DQ HVWDEOLVKHG WHDP Party Fowl is always looking for new recruits. “Anyone is welcome to join,â€? Primovic said. Ultimate is popular, but the Hurricane takes to its plush grass for sundry games. “There’s a unique game I enjoy playing; LW¡V FDOOHG .XEE Âľ VDLG -XQLRU -XVWLQ +HOW “It’s similar to horseshoes in that you’re throwing things back in forth between teams at objects, but you’re throwing sticks at blocks.â€? Introduced to the game by senior Allen Greenlief, Helt has tried to teach it to as many people as possible. “The New U is the best place to play,â€? Helt said. “I enjoy taking it to the Chi Alpha dinners, they like it there.â€? Senior Tyler Pansa said, “I just really like to compete and be active.â€? Pansa plays basketball, sand volleyball, ultimate frisbee, VRIWEDOO EDGPLQWRQ WHQQLV DQG Ă DJ IRRWEDOO RQ 78¡V PDQ\ Ă€HOGV Some of those are intramurals, but others are pick up games. “I usually organize the pickup games myself,â€? Pansa said, “It doesn’t have to be an important setting for me to feel really good about making a big play or working well with a teammate.â€? Pansa, known campus-wide for his pranks, recently posed as the new statue of legendary TU footballer Glenn Dobbs outside the stadium for a few hours. For basketball and badminton, Pansa recommends playing indoors at the Collins Fitness Center, but for most other sports he SUHIHUV WKH LQWUDPXUDO Ă€HOG RYHU WKH QHZ 8 Hurricane students are frequently seen SOD\LQJ EDVHEDOO FURTXHW Ă \LQJ NLWHV UROOing a bocce ball and playing catch on every SDWK RI JUHHQ EHWZHHQ WKH LQWUDPXUDO Ă€HOG and Harwell.

NEWS

8 APRIL 2013

THE COLLEGIAN : 3

At Eastern Mich, Gragg learned from scandal *UDJJ V H[SHULHQFH LQFOXGHV ZHDWKHULQJ WKH FRQVHTXHQFHV RI (08 V YLRODWLRQ RI 7LWOH ,; SROLFLHV WILL BRAMLETT Student Writer Dr. Derrick Gragg, the University of Tulsa’s soon-to-be athletic director, will be leaving his current position as athletic director of (DVWHUQ 0LFKLJDQ 8QLYHUVLW\ WR MRLQ 78 RQ May 1. While Gragg was in town to help an-

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nounce the Golden Hurricane’s move to the %LJ (DVW KH VDW GRZQ ZLWK 7KH &ROOHJLDQ WR answer a few questions. Gragg played college football at VanderELOW $IWHU Ă€QLVKLQJ KLV XQGHUJUDGXDWH GHgree, he became an academic counselor for athletes there. The following year, he became the director of student life in the athletic department. Following his time at Vanderbilt, Gragg went to the University of Missouri. At Mizzou, Gragg “started interfacing with one RI KLV PHQWRUV LQ WKH EXVLQHVV -RH &DVtiglione,â€? the University of Missouri’s athletic director. Gragg said that Castiglione “has really encouraged me to take a strong look at this position and talked a lot about President Upham and what a great guy he was. He knew a lot about Tulsa ... He’s been a great person that’s mentored me.â€? Gragg worked for Castiglione for two years before leaving to work at the University of Michigan at the age of 27 for three years. At Michigan, he was Assistant Athletic Director for Compliance. “That’s when I really started learning

about ‘Big Time Athletics’ being on a senior staff,â€? Gragg said. Gragg worked with Football Coach Lloyd Carr, who led the Wolverines to a QDWLRQDO FKDPSLRQVKLS WKH Ă€UVW \HDU *UDJJ was working at Michigan. Following Michigan, he went to the University of Arkansas, where he stayed for six years, earning his doctorate. He started as the associate athletic director was eventually promoted to deputy athletic director. On April 3, Gragg celebrated his seventh \HDU DV $' RI (DVWHUQ 0LFKLJDQ 8QLYHUVLW\ a member of the Mid-American Conference. Under Gragg, the school won many championships, and students athletes there have their highest average GPA in school history. Gragg feels like he has “left a strong foundation for the next person.â€? However, Gragg’s time at Michigan taught him “some of the downsides of college athletics because of some of the things that happened there because of compliance.â€? In (08 ZDV Ă€QHG IRU violation of the Clery Act requiring universities to disclose information on campus

crime. The university claimed there was no foul play in the 2006 death of student Laura Dickinson. It was later revealed that Dickinson had been raped and murdered by fellow student Orange Taylor III, and that univerVLW\ RIÀFLDOV KDG IDLOHG WR GLVFORVH WKLV LQIRUmation, as required by the Clery Act. Parallel to the investigation under the &OHU\ $FW (08 ZDV IRXQG WR EH LQ QRQFRPpliance with Title IX regulations regarding sexual harassment and anti-discrimination policy. Gragg has repeatedly said he aims to keep compliance at the forefront of his tenure as TU’s athletic director. Gragg said he is ready to take on the challenges that come with being the athletic director of the University of Tulsa. He is looking to better market TU’s athletic program and work with coaches, athletes, students and administrators to help build a solid strategic plan to move TU forward as it enters a new, if somewhat familiar, conference. Gragg’s family joined him on the trip to Tulsa last week, and will be returning with him in the next few weeks as they look at schools. Gragg and his wife have three children.

Higher turnout expected in executive election a “competitive and entertainingâ€? election. The number of candidates running for ofĂ€FH LV XQSUHFHGHQWHG LQ UHFHQW KLVWRU\ &XUUHQW 3UHVLGHQW -RKQ /HSLQH IRU LQVWDQFH ZDV uncontested in his bid for the presidency. Staff Writer On the whole, the candidates share several goals, two of which have to do with plus/ Student Association is holding elections on minus grading and the printing quota. KatTuesday and Wednesday for executive of- lyn McGouran drew attention to both issues. Ă€FHV :LWK QLQH FDQGLGDWHV UXQQLQJ IRU IRXU “I support upcoming legislation to espositions, this semester will have no uncon- tablish campus-wide double-sided printing, WHVWHG RIĂ€FHV and especially the legislation to oppose the Steve +DUVKD $VVLVWDQW 'LUHFWRU RI (OHF- new plus/minus grading system,â€? said Brett WLRQV DQG 3ROLF\ LV RIĂ€FLDWLQJ WKH HOHFWLRQ Baumgartner, running for vice president, in Voter turnout last year was around seven KLV 6$ FDQGLGDWH¡V SURĂ€OH hundred, he said. Harsha is expecting enthuBaumgartner also called attention to his siasm in this election to push turnout into current efforts as a senator to oppose plus/ the eight hundreds. minus grading. Kyle Radtke also pledged to Noting WKDW HYHU\ RIĂ€FH KDV ´RXWVWDQGLQJ Ă€JKW SOXV PLQXV JUDGLQJ candidatesâ€? running, Harsha is anticipating If HOHFWHG WR WKH 6$ SUHVLGHQF\ -RUGDQ

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“Spring Awakening� to premiere Thursday $FWRUV .HQ /HHS 6LOOV &KDVH :KHDWRQ :HUOH DQG $GDP 3RZHOO SUHSDUH IRU WKHLU UROHV LQ WKLV ULVTXH PXVLFDO

show’s entire roster of adult male characters. In order to play so many characters, Wheaton-Werle had to think about what made each character unique. “I wanted it to be clear right away when I came onstage that I was a different adult,â€? BEATE HALL Wheaton-Werle said. “I established a speStaff Writer FLĂ€F YRLFH DQG SK\VLFDOLW\ IRU HDFK SHUVRQ Opening Thursday night with free admis- I played.â€? Adam Powell utilized the assigned exersion for students, “Spring Awakeningâ€? is the cises from professors to create his role. “I next musical from the University of Tulsa’s am playing Otto Lammeremeir,â€? Powell theater department. said. Otto is best known for a dream he has A rock musical based upon the 1891 play about his mother. of the same name by the German playwright “To prepare for the role our director, ProFrank Wedekind, “Spring Awakeningâ€? feafessor Miller-Dill, had us write out a charactures frank portrayals of the taboo topics of ter biography to help and inform and estabbourgeois social mores in late-19th-century lish who our characters were,â€? Powell said, Germany. “but that grew and shifted around a bit as we Ken Leep-Sills plays the character of rehearsed.â€? Hanschen, a young man and classmate of This show does address some tough isMelchoir and Moritz. To prepare for his sues and emotions. The preparation has been role, Leep-Sills examines the character he intense for the cast as they have looked into is to play. situations and moments that are to a degree “I look at the character and see what I dark and disturbing. have in common with him,â€? Leep-Sills said, Despite the seriousness of the show, the “from there, I look at where we differ as cast does have some positive words about people, and I think what could have made their favorite numbers. “My favorite song is him differ in that way from me.â€? ‘Totally F-cked,’â€? said Wheaton-Werle. “I These differences are what Leep-Sills foactually get to sing and dance in it, if only FXVHV RQ ZKHQ Ă€QGLQJ WKH PRWLYDWLRQ DQG for a bit.â€? Wheaton-Werle hopes to get the inner dialogue of his character. audience dancing in the aisles. To prepare musically, Leep-Sills admitted Leep-Sills picked the same song as his that he had “watched a lot of live perforfavorite. “It’s just such a relatable song, evmances and music videos of awesome rock eryone has been in a similar situation where concerts.â€? you just know you’re screwed,â€? said LeepMany of the characters in the show are Sills. young adults of high school age, but the Powell, having seen the show on Broadadults in town also play vital roles in shapway, connected more to “Left Behind.â€? “I’m ing the events of the show. sure the favorite song of the cast in general Chase Wheaton-Werle is playing the is unprintable,â€? said Powell.

Hendrickson is likely to champion victims of the printing quota. She said, “It is unfair for undergraduate or graduate students who are required to print off hundreds of pages a week to have to pay for the excess printing.â€? Hendrickson also would like to see double-sided printing used to help reduce the impact of the quota on students’ printing needs. Several candidates are planning to give parts of SA a renovation. Katlyn McGouran is running for the presidency with SA’s budget in mind. Citing her work as the current treasurer, she hopes to use her experiences to optimize the budget. Hendrickson also plans to address the budget. After a meeting with TU President Steadman Upham, “we realized that our event sponsorship account has not increased in proportion with the increased student activities,â€? she said. Hendrickson plans, with the help of the treasurer, to try to reallocate and optimize funds. The YLFH SUHVLGHQW LV WKH SUHVLGLQJ RIĂ€FHU of the senate, a role that Brett Baumgartner LQWHQGV WR Ă€OO ZLWK D KLJK OHYHO RI HQHUJ\ “Senate meetings can easily be three hours long and has the capability of getting boring and monotonous,â€? he said. “With me in charge, I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.â€? Michael Mancini and Ben Chong have chosen to work together in advertising their candidacies, which are for vice president and treasurer, respectively. “We have always had similar opinions and goals (for SA),â€? Mancini said. “As we planned our futures in SA, we realized that we could best accomplish our goals by working together.â€? The Mancini and Chong ticket places dining services, study space, and streamlining of the SA government at the top of their priorities. Should they both be elected, they will be making a concerted effort to extend library hours to 2 a.m. and bring new options and Ă H[LELOLWLHV WR FDPSXV GLQLQJ “Having WZR RI 6$¡V H[HFXWLYH RIĂ€FHUV focused on accomplishing the same agenda

6$ H[HFXWLYH FDQGLGDWHV 3UHVLGHQW .DWLH 0F*RXUDQ -RUGDQ +HQGULFNVRQ 9LFH 3UHVLGHQW %DUUHWW +XQWHU %UHWW %DXPJDUWQHU 0LFKDHO 0DQFLQL 7UHDVXUHU %HQ &KRQJ (ODLQH 6FKLOOLQJHU 6HFUHWDU\ 9LFWRULD 0F*RXUDQ .\OH 5DGWNH will give a clear direction as we move forward next year,� Mancini said. Chong was not available for comment. Speaking for himself, Mancini hopes to streamline SA’s business and increase the organization’s accessibility to the constituency. “All students are members of SA and should have the opportunity to enjoy their time at TU through quality student events,� he said. Several other candidates share the same sentiment, including Baumgartner. If elected, Baumgartner intends to bring his expertise from the Student Investigative Committee to the Vice Presidency. SIC duties include “researching ideas, surveying students, and interviewing administration,� Baumgartner said. Baumgartner named communication as one of his priorities. Moving to VP would allow him to present research directly to TU administration, something he has so far not been able to do. Baumgartner also plans to continue exploiting avenues such as social media, The Collegian, e-mail and the SA website to help connect with the student body. McGouran is gearing up for a big project. “I have big plans to restructure Cabinet,�

See SA page 4

From Rights on cover nondiscrimination policy next fall.â€? “If TU wants to remain competitive reason why it was never put into place, House has some ideas as to why it may not among top universities, it is vital that they pass this measureâ€? Harvat said. “TU really have been put into effect. “The legislation was put onto Upham’s needs to step up and do the right thing.â€? desk,â€? House said. “Around the same time SA put out a student survey as to whether or not the legislation should include sexual orientation.â€? “The results were about 50/50,â€? House continued, “so it is possible President Upham was considering student approval when he did not sign the legislation.â€? The Vice President of Human Resources Kappa Sigma is having Wayne Paulson said that the current policy GRHV D VXIĂ€FLHQW MRE RI SURWHFWLQJ PLQRULW\ their philanthropy groups. dinner April 7 (Burn “The equal employment policy is an allCo Barbecue) encompassing policy that covers both federal standards and ensuring that other groups Kappa Sigma dance will are protected,â€? said Paulson. “(In 2005) the university saw no reason to change the polbe held April 13 LF\ 78 ZRXOG QHYHU Ă€UH DQ\RQH MXVW EDVHG RQ JURXS DIĂ€OLDWLRQ Âľ TU Tennis Greek While the administration may assert Attendance Competition that it protects the best interest of minority will be held April 13 & 14 groups not protected under federal and state law, there is currently no policy to support this claim. After the administration refused to pass the measure in 2005, the nonharassment policy was altered to include sexual orientation. “I really hope that the legislation will not go forgotten or neglected over the summer,â€? House added. “I really hope that we will take the measure further and draft a real

NEWS

THE COLLEGIAN: 4

Eye on the world:

8 APRIL 2013 has been given the go-ahead by the (XURSHDQ &RPPLVVLRQ The merger was announced in October, and U.S. authorities cleared the deal in February. 1RZ ZLWK WKH FRQVHQW RI WKH (Xropean Commission, the merged business—which will be called Penguin Random House—will be the world’s largest book publisher. VATICAN CITY

VICTORIA MCGOURAN Staff Writer Asia 1257+ .25($ On Friday, North Korea warned that it would be unable to guarantee the safety of embassy staff in

the event of a war. The %ULWLVK )RUHLJQ 2IĂ€FH which has an embassy in Pyongyang, described the warning as “continuing rhetoricâ€? and promised to stay in North Korea despite the continued security warnings. Currently, no foreign embassies have announced plans to evacuate. The U.K. and Russian embas-

On Saturday, Pope Francis made KLV Ă€UVW RIĂ€FLDO DSSRLQWPHQW WR WKH &XULD WKH 9DWLFDQ¡V RIĂ€FH IRU religious affairs. Pope Francis appointed a Spanish Franciscan, -RVH 5RGULJXH] DV VHFRQG LQ FRPPDQG RI WKH RIĂ€FH D SRVLWLRQ formerly held by U.S. Archbishop -RVHSK 7RELQ The appointment has been met with great support from the public. It has long been thought that the Vatican bureaucracy is badly in need of a shake-up. The appointment of a Vatican outsider is being VHHQ DV WKH Ă€UVW RI PDQ\ FKDQJHV for the better in Vatican City.

sies have reiterated that they have no immediate plans to shut down their embassies. Europe (1*/$1' The proposed merger of publishers Penguin and Random House

Africa

Student creates cheaper RFID door system

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abstract reads. “One downside compared to the standard lock and key is high cost.â€? Shipley is working on a more cost-effective and user-friendly system than those currently available. A system like the one used by the university costs around Student Writer $3,000 per door to install and For the past 16 years, the Univer- $300 per month per door to mainsity of Tulsa has held an annual tain. Such a system also requires student research colloquium. The a dedicated IT staff to manage it. conference is an opportunity for Shipley’s system is accessible to students to present their research anyone with a web browser. Shipley has been working with in a low-stakes atmosphere to an the scanners for several years, audience of peers and professors. installing two in his University This year, senior electrical enSquare West apartment his sophogineering major Rick Shipley was more year and developing a sysDZDUGHG Ă€UVW SODFH IRU KLV UHVHDUFK ZLWK UDGLR IUHTXHQF\ LGHQWLĂ€FDtion (RFID) scanners. TU is rife with the RFID scanners, which many students use on a regular basis. RFID scanners allow TU students to access dormitories and campus building with a swipe of their IDs. “RFID card reader systems have &RXUWHV\ RI 5LFN 6KLSOH\ reinvented building access by al<HDUV RI WLQNHULQJ ZHQW LQWR WKH FUHDWLRQ RI lowing users access to unlimited 5LFN 6KLSOH\ V 5),' V\VWHP ZKLFK FDQ EH secure areas with a single key: an XVHG WR FRQWURO DFFHVV WR EXLOGLQJV PRUH electronic ID badge,â€? Shipley’s FRVW HIIHFWLYHO\ WKDQ FXUUHQW V\VWHPV

$ FRXUW LQ (J\SW KDV UHMHFWHG WKH proposed ban on the TV program RI D SRSXODU (J\SWLDQ VDWLULVW %DVsem Youssef. The case was brought to the court by a lawyer from the Muslim Brotherhood. However, the chief lawyer for the Muslim Brotherhood has reportedly asserted that the lawyer who brought the lawsuit did so of his own volition and not on behalf of the organization. Central America 0(;,&2 Seven members of Cuba’s National Ballet troupe have defected while on tour in Mexico. A Cuban exile website based in Miami stated that six of the dancers were now in the United States and one remained in Mexico. Correspondents have reported that the National Ballet has suffered from a number of highSURÀOH GHIHFWLRQV RYHU WKH \HDUV because the dancers wish to seek greater creative and economic opportunities abroad.

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From SA page 3

tem for TU’s St. Phillip Neri Catholic Newman Center as a junior. His senior research project focuses on making Rayzor Hall RFID-accessible. The Ă€UVW SURWRW\SH UHTXLUHG constant minding from Shipley’s laptop. The Newman system was WKH Ă€UVW WR JR ´RQOLQHÂľ RWKHU SHRple were able to log on and manage it from their own laptops. The Newman system has gone through several iterations and served as the guinea pig for Shipley’s further research. This LV WKH Ă€UVW WLPH 6KLSOH\ has participated in the colloquium, giving two presentations this year. The other involved his research IRU 6XVWDLQDEOH (QJLQHHULQJ IRU 1HHG\ DQG (PHUJLQJ $UHDV DQG his trip to a Cambodian orphanage taken under the auspices of 6(1($ Winning was a bit of a surprise for Shipley: “I was not expecting to win anything, so I was very H[FLWHG ZKHQ , ZDV DZDUGHG Ă€UVW place in the research colloquium.â€? Shipley will be staying at TU next year to work on his master’s degree in electrical engineering.

she said. A large part of the idea is to add a department that will promote diversity on campus. The new department’s mission will be “to improve our sense of community by promoting unity between domestic and international students.� McGouran also has ambitions for boosting attendance at athletic

events and a free shuttle service to downtown Tulsa, Brookside, Utica Square and Cherry Street on the weekends. At the core of it all, she said, will be a central goal, ensuring “that each student has the best college experience possible.� (OHFWLRQV will take place Wednesday and Thursday. Voting will be on Harvey, in the Caf or in ACAC.

2013 Springfest brings Disney-themed cheer

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Congratulations to the following students who have been elected to membership in

Phi Beta Kappa America’s Oldest and Most Prestigious Academic Honor Society Founded in 1776 Â

Cynthia Lynne Allen Marla Lynn Blum Patrick Scott Creedon Hayley Terese Cunningham Charlene Laura Debus Abby Elizabeth Greenhaw Lauren Elizabeth Guderian Zachary Francis Harvat Brooke A. Helmberger Patricia Ann Hermann Taber Jerrod Hunt James Slayton Johnston, III Danielle C. Kelker

Â

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John Andrew Lepine Nicholas Andrew Lewellen Sara Katherine Lewis Stephen Thomas Macke Natalie Brooke Mason Kevin Joseph Mayer Lauren Jane Mitchell Nikolas Jasko Nelson Jordan Martin Occena Brianna Leigh Phipps Alison Claire Sanchez Kenan Tawaklna

 Phi  Beta  Kappa’s  initiation  ceremony  will  take  place  on  Friday,  May  10,  2013  at  5:30  p.m.  in  the  Sharp  Chapel. Â

variety

8 APRIL 2013

THE COLLEGIAN : 6

Fall Out Boy to save rock and roll )DOO 2XW %R\ V ODWHVW VLQJOH |7KH 3KRHQL[ } LV D ZHOFRPH KRPDJH WR WKH EDQG V HDUOLHU ZRUN DQG FUHDWHV DQWLFLSDWLRQ IRU WKHLU XSFRPLQJ DOEXP *UDSKLF E\ &DUROLQH .RKOKDJHQ

PATRICK CREEDON

Urban Journal

Opinion Editor On March 26, Chicago rockers Fall Out Boy released the second single from their much-awaited sixth studio album, “Save Rock and Roll.â€? Fall Out Boy is easily one of my favorite bands, so the news that they had returned from their hiatus was awesome. The new single, “The Phoenix,â€? LV VODWHG WR EH WKH Ă€UVW VRQJ RQ WKH new album, and the song sounds as excited as I am about Fall Out Boy’s return. After an opening crescendo of violins, lead singer Patrick Stump warns listeners to “put on your war paint.â€? What follows is an intense amalgamation of randomly narrated scenes—all connected by the theme of rebirth—whilst Stump nearly begs listerns to join the band for their blazing revival. It all sounds like a welcome return to competent aggressive rock, especially after the disaster WKDW ZDV )DOO 2XW %R\¡V Ă€UVW VLQJOH “My Songs Know What You Did LQ WKH 'DUN /LJKW Âś(P 8S Âľ D chaotic, unrestrained mess trying to blend as many ideas as possible in three minutes. A misdirection of energy behind even clever lines like “My child-

creative

about his hopes for the future. He explained that he acquired them )DOO 2XW %R\ V VL[WK VWXGLR DOEXP GXH RXW $SULO DQG ZRUOGZLGH FODLPV WKDW LW ZLOO after he was able to afford a real |6DYH 5RFN DQG 5ROO } 7KH EDQG V PRVW UHFHQW VLQJOH |7KH 3KRHQL[} OHQGV LWVHOI WR WKDW tattoo artist, rather than a fellow FODLP ZKLOH LWV O\ULFV DQG JHQHUDO VRXQG FUHDWH DQ LQIHFWLRXV HQHUJ\ cellmate. Sadly, there was no coat hanger. A LEXANDER B ISCHOFF hood spat back out the monster URFN PXVLF WKDW DOOHJHGO\ GLHG Ă€YH After giving Princess a rub on the Student Writer that you seeâ€? left that song gasping years ago when Fall Out Boy’s last head, I parted ways with Anthony. for air after a single critical listen. album was released. Then I walked into Walgreens. I was not looking forward to the I do not know if the album will So there I was, sitting in a Wal“May I borrow your phone?â€? next release, but then “The Phoe- be nearly as good as its ambitious greens parking lot, hundreds of I asked the cashier. Noticing the nixâ€? blew me away, as it reminded title, but if “The Phoenixâ€? is any miles away from home. sweat pouring down my face she me of the Fall Out Boy that existed indication, the ashes of Fall Out Driving for eight hours will reluctantly pointed toward the DW WKHLU Ă€UVW GHDWK D EDQG Ă€OOHG Boy’s absence will coalesce into make you forget about the little manager. with orchestral leanings and a need a majestic beast unlike any other details, like unlocking your car The manager was a kind-hearted to make pop rock with substance the rock scene has seen in a long before imprisoning your keys in a woman with a name tag that read and lyrics both clever and deep. locked trunk. time—for good or bad. “Betsy :).â€? I told her the predicaBoth of these singles were reThis simple task is forgotten, The energy in this song is infecment I was in and she promptly leased to promote “Save Rock tious, and I found myself doing much like the sign on a Buckeye’s gave me her phone along with the and Roll,â€? which will come out on everything more intensely. Brush- gas station halfway between Dalnumber to a Pop a Lock service. April 15 and 16 worldwide. The ing my teeth was like putting on las and Tulsa. Its promise of clean Unlocking my Charger would cost band has been constantly remind- my war paint. Glancing up to the restrooms seemed insincere con$120. ing fans that they can get the al- FORXGV ZDV OLNH ´VHWWLQJ Ă€UH WR WKH sidering the billboard’s aging and To make matters worse, I had bum on release day for $7.99 by sky.â€? As Stump constantly asks decrepit appearance. also forgotten to bring a credit card pre-ordering the album on iTunes. in the song, “Hey young blood, Remembering to keep a phone on my spring break trip. Sadly, I On the album’s cover are two doesn’t it feel like time is running in my pocket, rather than leaving did not have the $120. Tibetan boys, one in ceremonial out?â€? it trapped in a cup holder, also It was at this point that I met robes and the other in jeans and a In a way, yes. The time I am slipped past my mind. It looked Abel. t-shirt, smoking. Playfully referred willing to wait for this album is like Anni would not receive a Abel was a tanned, roughto as a “punk and a monk,â€? the running out, and I need this album SnapChat reply anytime soon. My skinned, older man with a ten-galcover suggests that this album will in my hands blasting music direct- grandmother, whom I was visiting, lon straw hat. He owned a towing attempt to reclaim some vestige of ly into my eardrums. would also have to wait for me. company and knew every Dodge There I sat, in the Houston heat, car like the back of his hand. I told slowly banging my head against him my story. I told him about the the trunk. Before I could curse at eight-hour drive, the Buckeye billthe sun, a bearded man called out board with the clean restrooms, to me. He towered above my sixAnthony and his pit bull Princess, foot frame, carrying a young pit and my grandma with the nowbull named Princess. cold dinner waiting for me. He His name was Anthony. He was agreed to help me out. bald, though much of his head, like Using various gadgets from the the rest of his body, was covered The story seems to be taken RSHQ WR HQHP\ Ă€UH back of a beat-down tow truck, ZLWK WDWWRRV (DFK KDG D PHDQLQJ VWUDLJKW IURP D 0LFKDHO %D\ Ă€OP Additionally, the controls as a he picked at the passenger door. As he searched for a coat hanger in The roughly 12-hour campaign whole are not smooth or intuitive. Within a few seconds it was open. his trunk, he told me how the ink against La GuadaĂąa will have This is particularly disappointAs I reached to open my walon his body had accumulated durplayers constantly engaged in cha- ing given the fact that there are let Abel gently shook his head. ing a prison sentence. RWLF DQG H[SORVLYH Ă€UHĂ€JKWV 7KH clear industry examples of wellHe told me a story involving two Most of the tattoos represented 9LVFHUDO *DPHV ODWHVW story plays out as fans of the series implemented controls for handling characters. In it, an old man helped Anthony’s past. Drug abuse and LQVWDOOPHQW LQ WKH |$UP\ RI would expect, consisting mostly third-person tactical combat, such a young Abel with some car trouother vices were depicted by thick of highly repetitive shootouts and as the “Ghost Reconâ€? and “Resi7ZR} VHULHV IHHOV UXVKHG ble. He then looked me in the eyes black stretches across his arms, DQG XQSROLVKHG GXH WR SRRU D QXPEHU RI Ă DVK\ YHKLFOH VH- GHQW (YLOÂľ IUDQFKLVHV and said, “Today you‌ tomorrow while the newer and vibrant colquences. Fortunately, there is a good FRQWUROV IHZ PHPRUDEOH orful ones represented a story me.â€? To top it all off, players can amount of customization available PRPHQWV DQG DQ DEVHQFH RI occasionally activate Overkill, a in “The Devil’s Cartel.â€? Players FRPSHWLWLYH PXOWLSOD\HU special mode that grants brief in- can pick from a plethora of gear, vulnerability and a massive dam- ZHDSRQ DWWDFKPHQW DQG FRQĂ€JXELLIOT BAUMAN age increase, to make the game ration options, although a number Student Writer even more absurdly chaotic. Your of the weapon attachments do not foes are decently programmed, seem to have any tangible effect. :KLOH ´%LR6KRFN ,QĂ€QLWHÂľ PD\ but offer little variety: the endless The abundance of customization have captured the attention of the generic cartel members are smart options helps keep the game fresh, gaming community on March 26, HQRXJK WR Ă€JKW IURP FRYHU DQG and allows gamers to cater to their it was not the only major title re- avoid open areas, but they still are preferred styles. Unlike the previous “Army OHDVHG WKDW GD\ (OHFWURQLF $UWV more than happy to occasionally BY ANNA BENNETT make the player’s job easy. of Twoâ€? installments, the “The and Visceral Games—the same 3KRWR FRXUWHV\ ,VODQG 5HFRUGV

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“Army of Two: The Devil’s Cartel� disappoints

“The story seems to be taken straight from D 0LFKDHO %D\ Ă€OPÂľ developer that recently dropped the successful “Dead Space 3â€?— launched “Army of Two: The Devil’s Cartel,â€? the next installment in the co-op centered third-person shooter franchise. While “The Devil’s Cartelâ€? makes a number of much-needed improvements to the franchise, the game lacks polish and leaves much to be desired. The latest title in the “Army of Twoâ€? series puts players in control of Alpha and Bravo, two masked private military operatives sent to Mexico to combat a deadly drug cartel, La GuadaĂąa. Unfortunately, coming from a series known for witty and humorous characters, Alpha and Bravo are incredibly bland. Their true names and backstory are never fully revealed, and the interaction between the two is cheesy and awkward. In fact, Alpha and Bravo are so similar that the two are almost completely interchangeable. Simply put, do not expect much in terms of character development from “The Devil’s Cartel.â€?

Unfortunately, this is not alleviDWHG E\ LQFUHDVLQJ WKH GLIĂ€FXOW\ which instead only makes the computer’s shots more lethal. On the contrary, if gamers are SOD\LQJ DORQH WKH DUWLĂ€FLDO LQWHOligence that controls either Alpha or Bravo is fantastic. The computer partner is reliable and makes sound strategic decisions. Furthermore, the player partner will not single-handedly dominate the opposition, as often happens with SRRUO\ SURJUDPPHG DOOLHV LW Ă€QGV a good balance between supporting the gamer and taking charge. Players expecting the “The Devil’s Cartelâ€? to handle like other third-person shooters will be disappointed. The latest “Army of Twoâ€? installment features a “sticky coverâ€? system that supposedly allows gamers to more easily take and maneuver through cover RQ WKH EDWWOHĂ€HOG 8QIRUWXQDWHO\ the system does not work well, resulting in a frustrating experience. Many times the character will not react to seemingly simple cover commands, leaving the player

Devil’s Cartelâ€? has no competitive multiplayer, although the campaign can be played split-screen or online with a friend. The lack of multiplayer will hurt the title’s longevity, as the very linear story mode can only be played so many times. “Army of Two: The Devil’s Cartelâ€? makes a number of improvements on its predecessors, such as better partner AI and a greater level of player customization. That said, when compared to other third person shooters, “The Devil’s Cartelâ€? feels rushed and XQĂ€QLVKHG 7KH FDPSDLJQ OHDYHV very few memorable moments, and is ultimately just a long and repetitive explosive shootout. There is fun to be had, though. Working through the maximum GLIĂ€FXOW\ ZLWK D IULHQG HLWKHU through split-screen or online, requires a sense of teamwork that can bring some satisfaction. “Army of Two: The Devil’s Cartelâ€? is only available for the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360, and earns a 6.5/10 on both consoles.

Reasons to Go to Grad School So you’re an undergrad, and life seems pretty sweet. But you can’t block out all the buzz about grad school your upperclassmen friends are emitting. So what’s the scoop on this grad school thing? It’s not for everyone, but here are 10 reasons to invest in several more years of higher education. 1. To avoid having to get a real job for a few more years. 2. To correct people when they forget to call you “Doctor.� 3. To keep getting student discounts on software and food. 4. To make up for those years of heavy underage drinking with several years of heavy legal drinking, all without falling into the category of “alcoholic.� (Because until you leave college, there’s no such thing).

5. To hook up with \UKLYNYHKZ ^OV Ă„UK `V\ irresistible because you are so old and wise. 6. To hook up with WYVMLZZVYZ ^OV Ă„UK `V\ irresistible because you are so young and not jaded yet. ;V Ă„UK H IL[[LY JVSSLNL sports team to claim as your own. 8. To make yourself more employable because you have to have a terminal KLNYLL PU `V\Y Ă„LSK [V NL[ hired. 9. To make yourself less employable by specializing in something so esoteric that no university has a position for you, and no liquor store or clothing retailer believes that you actually want the job. 10. To like, learn things and grow intellectually or whatever.

THE COLLEGIAN : 6

opinion

8 APRIL 2013

Is freedom for businesses or for people? the nation. Hooray! Wait, are they talking about the same Oklahoma we live in? I’ve felt many political emotions while in Oklahoma, but a joyous sense of freedom is not one of them. In fact, I’ve spent most ANNA my adult life here worrying about BENETT my reproductive rights and how Staff Writer my gay friends are being treated or what teachers might be forced to teach children by a God-fearing legislature. But apparently, I am mistaken. And as it turns out, New York ,V LW SRVVLEOH WR GHĂ€QH IUHHGRP" is the least free state, followed There’s a lot of rhetoric thrown by California. While my political around these days about protectleanings certainly color my opining freedom, but everyone seems LRQ , Ă€QG WKDW WKLV VWXG\ UDLVHV to have diverse opinions on what more troubling questions than it exactly this idea entails. answers. I am not even mad that Thus, quantifying the ideal they “got it wrong,â€? I’m just puzseems nearly impossible. Yet that zled by their logic, and what, for is just what a libertarian think tank the purposes of the study, constihas just purportedly done. tutes “freedom.â€? If you go to FreedomInThe50 At the very least, the study does States.org, you can see the work not hide its political motivations. of the Mercatus Center at George It was conducted by a libertarMason University. Based on inforian group—it’s right there in the mation about each state’s policies name—so obviously, the ideal of RQ UHJXODWRU\ Ă€QDQFLDO DQG SHU“freedomâ€? should be expected to sonal freedoms, the organization KDYH D ELW RI D VODQW $W Ă€UVW WKH has created a comprehensive rankwebsite seems convincingly thoring of the states according the their ough and well-designed—lots of overall “freeness.â€? The results are rankings and numbers and data. D ELW EDIĂ LQJ But in all the descriptions of According to the group, the each state’s various freedoms, the Ă€YH PRVW IUHH VWDWHV DUH LQ RUGHU group uses very non-neutral lanNorth Dakota, South Dakota, Tenguage: “this is good,â€? “this is badâ€? nessee, New Hampshire and Oklaand so on. So really, the list should homa. That’s right, folks, our great be called “States Most Free by VWDWH LV WKH Ă€IWK PRVW IUHH VWDWH LQ

%XVLQHVV IRFXVHG GHILQLWLRQV RI IUHHGRP LJQRUH SHUVRQDO OLEHUW\ DQG VRFLDO MXVWLFH OHDG WR SRRU VWDWH UDQNLQJV

Libertarian Standards.â€? The presentation of the study is inherently misleading. What really EDIĂ HV PH LV ZKDW FRXQWV WRZDUG a state’s “freedomâ€? level and what isn’t on the radar at all. High taxes are the main reason New York is ranked as the least free state. This reveals that the freedoms given the most weight by the Mercatus &HQWHU DW *HRUJH 0DVRQ DUH Ă€Vcal—low taxation levels, business restrictions, etc. Another element that is given weight is state licensing restrictions on nurse practitioners and dental hygienists (fewer restrictions equals greater “freedomâ€? in the state, because apparently

at SUNY-Buffalo, was that “we don’t want to take a stand on what the freedom-protecting policy is.� First of all, you are pursuing a study that claims to be thoroughly quantifying and representing “freedom� state-by-state, which is already based on a series of very subjective judgments. How can you possibly excuse yourself from making one particular judgment without misrepresenting the information? Secondly, by not “taking a stand� on the issue, the study does just that—its silence shows that its authors do not consider restrictions on abortion rights to be limits on freedom. This is odd, since

“Anyone who thinks we need to spend less on highways has clearly never driven on an Oklahoma roadâ€? improperly licensed specialists are more cost-effective than their PRUH TXDOLĂ€HG FRXQWHUSDUWV However, abortion rights are not factored in at all. That’s right: a woman’s freedom to control her reproductive rights carries no weight in measuring how much freedom a state gives its citizens. The reasoning behind this omission is the best part. AccordLQJ WR -DVRQ 6RUHQV FR DXWKRU RI the study and assistant professor

“restrictionsâ€? are a bad thing for freedom, according to the study. ,Q LWV VXSHUĂ€FLDO DWWHPSW WR EH QHXtral, the study does nothing but lean right in a passive-aggressive manner. To top it all off, what gets me about this so-called “freedomâ€? ranking is how pompously its backers suggest what each state should do to become more free. Predictably, they’d like to see Oklahoma cut spending in areas

like social welfare and highways. I am appalled that some all-knowing think tank is ignorant of that fact that the poverty rate in Oklahoma is over 15 percent, seventh worst in the nation. To suggest that cutting social welfare would make our state more free is uninformed—it would leave the least privileged more free to go hungry or be unable to care for their children or ailing relatives. And anyone who thinks we need to spend less on highways has clearly never driven on an Oklahoma road. All this self-congratulatory talk of “freedomâ€? makes me sick. I ignorantly thought that freedom had to do with my rights as a citizen, an individual. But according to many, freedom is reserved for businesses that can EHQHĂ€W IURP WD[ UHOLHI Can we all just step back and think about what that word means? By some faulty standards, OklahoPDQV DUH WKH Ă€IWK PRVW IUHH :H could certainly do better. In some areas, we are better—like incarceration rates. Oklahoma has the third highest incarceration rate in the nation QDWLRQ DQG UDQNV Ă€UVW LQ WKH LQFDUceration of women. What this study judges is hardly the freedom I recognize, but if this LV WKH QHZ GHĂ€QLWLRQ , ZRQGHU how it could be a good thing and why we spend so much time defending it.

Parking crunch due to poor public transit 7KHUH ZRXOG QRW EH D GHDUWK RI SDUNLQJ LI WKHUH ZHUH PRUH ZD\V WR JHW DURXQG 7XOVD WKDW GLG QRW UHTXLUH D FDU

between home and school? I blame the city of Tulsa and the University of Tulsa for encouraging more students to have cars on campus. Tulsa’s public transit system is WILL a mess. I do not know the worst word the editors will allow me to BRAMLETT Student Writer use in The Collegian, but it is sureO\ LQVXIÀFLHQW WR GHVFULEH SXEOLF transit in Tulsa. I began my time at Tulsa planning to ride the buses if I needed to get around the city, but I still have yet to ride a Tulsa city bus. Too many cars—that is the cause Not that I have not tried, but the of the University of Tulsa’s cam- pass I just purchased was no good. pus parking problems, not too few From what I can gather from the parking spaces for students, staff GLIÀFXOW WR WUDYHUVH WUDQVLW VLWH WKH and faculty. bus lines are few, and the number I often hear other students com- of buses that pass by each stop on SODLQ WKDW WKH\ DUH XQDEOH WR ÀQG a line is even fewer. parking in their assigned lots. Most of the bus routes end in the They rarely consider that having a early evening, leaving only a few car on campus may not be a neces- OLQHV VSHFLÀF WR QLJKW WUDYHO ZKLFK sity. themselves do not run very long. Why do more students not carThe city seems to want to be a pool to places in Tulsa as well as big city. The citizens and govern-

ment have invested in a new arena, ballpark and bus station in its downtown districts. However, the investment in public transit has not been enough to make it useful for most students to get around the city or commuter students, staff and faculty to get from their homes to the university. The University of Tulsa tries to complement the city’s buses with shuttles of its own for students on campus. There is a shuttle which goes to the Target on some weekends. Another shuttle which runs a few times per day during the week visits the properties off campus which are run by the university. If TU was totally committed to helping revive parts of the city, shuttles would run to events happening around town to encourage students to attend. Bringing students to Drillers games, concerts at Cain’s and plays at the Performing Arts Center would be a great boon to sup-

porting public transportation. (YHQ MXVW EULQJLQJ VWXGHQWV downtown to eat at local restaurants on Friday nights to celebrate the end of a long week would be nice, as would a shuttle to the airport just before and after breaks. For a school justifying many actions with “bigger and more respected universities do it, therefore, so should we,â€? I am shocked I have not found some pin board with notes about students’ travel plans, a simple system many schools use to help students easily carpool. Other schools also do not allow Ă€UVW \HDU DQG VRPHWLPHV VHFRQG year students to have a car on campus. When will we emulate those policies, as well? There are several reasons that fewer students need to bring cars to school. The more people drive, the more gas we waste. Though I am sure the petroleum HQJLQHHUV ZLOO EH Ă€QH ZLWK XV LPproving their employment pros-

pects, I believe we should work at better conserving our resources, including oil, and try to stop the rise in greenhouse gas emissions worsened by students driving unnecessarily. Another problem with having more cars on campus is that it becomes harder and more risky for students to get around campus. Having more vehicles on campus clogs the roads and pathways students need to get around campus. With more cars, accidents and injuries become more likely. Students, the school and the city need to work together to make sure that members of the TU community have good option to get around the city as well as to and from school and home. It will be a convenience for those taking advantage of opportunities for easy transportation, it will lead to a healthier planet and student body, and hopefully students can save some money on gas and car repairs. *UDSKLF E\ &DUROLQH .RKOKDJHQ

Affordable STD screenings available at Planned Parenthood health centers. Make an appointment today.

1.855.841.7526 www.ppheartland.org

8 APRIL 2013

Opinion

THE COLLEGIAN : 7

Recycling easier with a single stream The point of this “trash auditâ€? was to see how many recyclables were still being thrown away and where. It was found that there were still many recyclables being trashed. NATHAN However, much of what was being counted as recyclable was plastics MILLER Student Writer GLIĂ€FXOW WR UHF\FOH DW 78 For example, drink lids found at Subway and Chik-Fil-A are #6 plastics. These are not accepted in the plastics containers in academic and residence halls. Still, there On a Thursday evening in Febru- may be a solution. DU\ VWXGHQWV IURP (DUWK 0DWWHUV The city of Tulsa has been takan environmental organization, ing single-stream recycling since went snooping through the trash October 2012, and recycling in the in Chapman and Helmerich Halls, city has doubled. looking for recyclable materials. Single-stream recycling is a Recycling efforts at TU have system where all recyclables can already been in place for several be placed in the same bin and for years, and there are recycling con- later sorting. tainers in every building and resiSingle-stream recycling has dence hall. many advantages. There are seven

6LQJOH VWUHDP UHF\FOLQJ OHDGV WR HDVLHU PRUH LQFOXVLYH GLVSRVDO D QHW JDLQ IRU VRFLHW\

types of plastics, which are labeled with a number in the recycling cycle arrows on the bottom of a plastic. Instead of taking easily recycled one and two plastics, like TU, the city takes plastics one through seven, which adds to the sheer volume of recyclable material. Now, fast food lids are recyclable where they were not before. $QRWKHU FOHDU EHQHĂ€W LV WKDW WKH

cartons and empty detergent containers. For the average TU student, WKLV LV EHQHÀFLDO EHFDXVH LW ZRXOG PDNH ÀQGLQJ WKH ULJKW ELQ IRU SODVtics easier, especially in places like ACAC, where there are recycling bins for only one type of plastic strewn all over the building. This should make recycling easier for those students and staff who tend to recycle only when

“Recycling also allows what we might call trash to become useful again� city does the sorting instead of the consumer. This would make recycling easier for people, as they would not have to sort soda bottles, milk

it is convenient. I believe that TU should adopt a single-stream recycling policy. This would help our environment by doubling the amount of plastics

recycled, which reduces the imSDFW RI RYHUà RZLQJ ODQGÀOOV Recycling also allows what we might call trash to become useful again, which reduces the amounts of new raw materials needed to meet demand. The University of Tulsa has also traditionally been an example of good environmental practices for the city of Tulsa. We should continue with singlestream recycling. The little trash audit showed that most recyclables were staying out of the trash—good job, TU! However, harder-to-recycle materials were not staying out of the trash. A simple improvement would be for the university to expand plastic recycling. Single-stream is an easy way for TU to help the community and planet, and this university should take full advantage of it.

Innocent lives too much to pay for capital punishment -XU\ WULDOV DUH QRW LQIDOOLEOH DQG ZURQJIXO FRQYLFWLRQV DUH LQHYLWDEOH ([HFXWLRQ LV WKHUHIRUH DQ XQDFFHSWDEOH SXQLVKPHQW LQ DQ\ FLUFXPVWDQFH

1976 decision in Gregg v. Georgia DIĂ€UPLQJ WKH FRQVWLWXWLRQDOLW\ of the death penalty, there have been 1,321 individuals executed for capital offenses in the United States. 3,100 others currently await execution. It is nearly certain that among those four thousand people there are some innocent of the crimes of KYLE which they were convicted. To believe that we know othWALKER erwise is to be guilty of the most Managing pervasive hubris. Editor It is to believe that in a scenario of immense complexity and indeterminacy the meager tools I write this in April of 2013, some available to twelve anxious jurors PRQWKV EHIRUH WKH WULDO RI -DPHV DUH VXIĂ€FLHQW WR GLVHQWDQJOH ZLWK Holmes is scheduled to begin. I perfect certainty the incomplete address myself in large measure evidence, contradictory testimony to the prosecution representing the and legal opacity characteristic of state of Colorado, to the judge who American criminal justice. -XU\ WULDOV WR SDUDSKUDVH will preside over the case, and the jury who will decide Holmes’ guilt Churchill, are the worst system of criminal justice yet devised— or innocence. except for all the others that have To whom it may concern: As of February, 2014, you will been tried. “But,â€? I can hear you saying, be participants in a death penalty case. Some among you have an- “we have none of those problems nounced that the death penalty is LQ WKH FDVH RI -DPHV +ROPHV the only appropriate response to The evidence is unambiguous— the shooting in an Aurora, Colo- Holmes is a killer.â€? I hear you, I do. I will even grant rado movie theater which left 12 \RXU DUJXPHQW WKH WULDO RI -DPHV dead and 58 injured. Since the Supreme Court’s Holmes is unlikely to be troubled

by ambiguity and contradiction. I have no doubt that you will handily secure a conviction. But I must ask you to not be so certain of yourself as to ask for his death. If you do seek capital punishment, Holmes’ trial, like every death penalty case, will be a test

-XVW VXFK ULJKWHRXV LQGLJQDWLRQ often goes to unsavory ends. I’ve never shared your taste for blood. The blood of murderers tastes as foul as does the blood of innocents. It will do us all well to keep in mind how frequently “certainty� has proven to be nothing but pride;

that innocents die (so long as it is LQ VXIĂ€FLHQWO\ VPDOO QXPEHUV DV we should be that murderers spend their lives in prison instead of giving us the satisfaction of their deaths. 6R KRZ ZLOO -DPHV +ROPHV¡ WULDO test the American conscience? 7R KROG XS WKH FDVH RI -DPHV Holmes as one of certain guilt and WKHUHIRUH RI ZKROO\ MXVWLĂ€HG FDSLtal punishment is to do a great disservice to a criminal justice system already too convinced of its infallibility. To justify the death penalty by SRLQWLQJ WR -DPHV +ROPHV LV WR how frequently the law has ground add every wrongfully executed inforward, oh-so-certain of itself, nocent, until the abolition of the RQO\ WR Ă€QG RQ ORRNLQJ EDFN WKDW death penalty, to the list of his viccertainty was not so warranted af- tims. ter all. 7R VHQWHQFH -DPHV +ROPHV WR The fact is that innocent people death is to breathe yet more life have been executed in this country. into the foul practice of state-spon(YHQ ZLWKRXW VSHFLĂ€F H[DPSOHVÂł sored murder. -RKQQ\ *DUUHWW &DUORV 'H/XQD If we acknowledge, as we must, Walter Blair, Girvies Davis and that courts are capable of error; if others—this could be virtually we acknowledge that certainty in guaranteed. DQ\ Ă€HOG EXW SDUWLFXODUO\ LQ GHWHU7KH RQO\ MXVWLĂ€FDWLRQ WKDW VHHPV minations of guilt and innocence, to be consistently offered in de- is an absurd dream, then I must fense of capital punishment is that XUJH \RX QRW WR NLOO -DPHV +ROPHV it is needed to exact vengeance on No more innocents should die particularly heinous offenders. on his account. The argument seems to be that we need not be near so concerned

“It is nearly certain that among those four

thousand people there are some innocent of the crimes of which they were convictedâ€? for the American conscience. “How?â€? you ask. “What about the execution of a brutal mass murderer could be a test for the American conscience? If anything, not executing him would be wrong. What about the families of the victims? Don’t they deserve justice?â€? Cases like that of Holmes are XQFHDVLQJO\ RIIHUHG DV MXVWLĂ€FDtions for the continuing legality of the death penalty. “See! We’re 100 percent certain that he’s guilty. There’s no possibility that we’re executing an innocent person, and if anyone deserves to die it’s this mass murderer.â€?

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8 APRIL 2013

the

THE STATE-RUN MEDIA

State-Run media Now nuclear capable!

New athletic director released from duties from his responsibilities as Athletic Director and Vice President. We Reads pink slips wish to share this information with you all, the TU family, before it is $IWHU D UHFRUG ]HUR GD\V LQ RIĂ€FH released to the public. Dr. Derrick Gragg has been reWhile we regret to let Dr. Gragg leased from his duties as the Uni- go so soon, this decision was made versity of Tulsa’s Athletic Direc- with the best interests of the TU tor. TU’s administration has asked community at heart. The State-Run Media to forward Though Dr. Gragg was a wellWKH XQLYHUVLW\¡V RIĂ€FLDO VWDWHPHQW TXDOLĂ€HG DSSOLFDQW WKHUH ZHUH to the student body: certain expectations that we felt Dear Campus Community, he would not adhere to. In short, Effective immediately, Dr. some things about Dr. Gragg were Derrick Gragg has been released good, but other things were bad.

ANDRES GOMEZ

Further, while we felt that Dr. Gragg’s history of character and integrity made him a suitable and exemplary athletic director, we now feel that he is less suitable and exemplary than we had once suspected. He may be, we fear, be entirely unsuitable. We thank you in advance for your support and unquestioning acceptance. The Board of Trustees has authorized Vice President Kevan Buck to take over Gragg’s respon-

*\YPVZP[` Ă„UKZ 4HYZ UV[ H WSHUL[ LP[OLY vorable conditions for the growth of bacteria, but we never in our Has high score on “Asteroidsâ€? wildest dreams thought that the planet would be round: literally After eight months on Mars, circular, not spherical.â€? NASA’s Curiosity rover has made A janitor at the Idaho National perhaps the most stunning discov- Laboratory, where Curiosity was ery about the Red Planet since it built, reportedly predicted the found evidence of water: Mars discovery back in 2004, saying, does not appear to be a real planet. ´7KDW GDUQHG SODQHW ORRNV Ă DW DV D According to soil samples taken pancake through a telescope.â€? near Olympus Mons, the heavenly (TXDOO\ VXUSULVLQJ WR &DUVRQ¡V body to which NASA has spent team was this: there is functional several billion dollars sending ro- difference between 2-D space soil ERWV LV DFWXDOO\ Ă DWÂłLW FRPSOHWHO\ and normal, 3-D earth soil. The lacks a third dimension. discovery came when Curiosity’s Three-dimensionality is, ac- instruments penetrated the Marcording standards established by tian crust and found Martian atthe International Astronomical mosphere on the other side. 8QLRQ DQ HVVHQWLDO GHĂ€QLQJ FKDUWhile scientists initially specuacteristic for establishing any ce- lated that the celestial body was lestial mass as a planet or dwarf hollow, the 2-D theory has been planet. VXSSRUWHG E\ VSHFWURPHWULF FRQĂ€UDr. Rusty Carson, leader of the mation that the light on the other Mars Science Laboratory, said, side of the Martian crust also came ´:H NLQG RI H[SHFWHG WR Ă€QG ID- from the Sun.

PATRICK CREEDON

7KH LPSOLFDWLRQV RI 0DUV¡ Ă DWness have yet to be fully realized, but the orbit of its two moons suggest that initial calculations of the ex-planet’s mass were correct. “I’ve never seen anything like this before,â€? said planetologist Phoebe Deimos. “It has to be super-dense if the plan—astronomical object—only lies along two planes. Think of a black hole that has been thrown like unbaked pizza dough.â€? Astronomers expressed surprise that NASA has been able to land six car-sized robots on the disc at all, when effectively they are ´SOD\LQJ FHOHVWLDO GDUWV ([FHSW that the board is spinning faster than the teacup ride at Disney,â€? as NASA physicist Russell Muller said. At press time, rumors that Curiosity has encountered the sound stage from the 1969 moon landing UHPDLQ XQFRQĂ€UPHG

Caf to become wildlife preserve

VLELOLWLHV XQWLO WKH XQLYHUVLW\ Ă€QGV a suitable replacement. When reached for comment, Buck said, “I’m happy to serve in whatever capacity TU needs me, though I regret taking time away from my duties as executive vice president, treasurer and interim head groundskeeper, especially as the tulips are beginning to bloom.â€? While the circumstances behind Gragg’s release are still unknown, the Board of Trustees assured students and faculty that the university “strives for excellence and greatness in any and all things and that in the future the university will continue to provide the greatest amount of success that it can offer.â€? At press time, the university would not offer further comment on “personnel issues.â€?

Why do we oppose gay marriage? Not sure what to do with these feelings as it is The Constitution Gay roommate never takes out the trash Trying to be edgy Parents will cut us off

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Supreme Court strikes down gay marriage ban, citing Facebook

hadn’t really thought about it like that before, but it’s totally true!â€? “Someday, we’re all going to look very old-fashioned for not (DUO\ WKLV ZHHN WKH 6XSUHPH &RXUW changing things sooner,â€? Kennedy unanimously ruled both the Deadded. Kennedy ended his interfense of Marriage Act and Propoview by reiterating how glad he sition 8 unconstitutional, signaling was that people were voicing their a huge victory for gay rights and concerns in a productive way: by all people with red equals signs in FKDQJLQJ WKHLU SURĂ€OH SLFWXUHV DQG WKH SURĂ€OH SLFWXUHV This decision was handed down updating their statuses, rather than with unprecedented rapidity, and doing foolish outdated things like &KLHI -XVWLFH -RKQ 5REHUWV VWDWHG calling their senators or forming that the court hopes to get as many action-oriented organizations. A second shocking change in “likesâ€? as possible while the topic RSLQLRQ FDPH IURP -XVWLFH 6FDOLD is still hot. Roberts said that he wanted his Though the justice clearly voiced devoted Facebook fans to be the how uncomfortable he was talking ´Ă€UVW WR NQRZ Âľ EXW ZLWKLQ PLQ- about “gay stuffâ€? during the hearutes, the news had been picked up ings, he apparently had a change by the mainstream media, which of heart in the following weeks— experts say still reaches several which he attributes in part to Face*UDSKLF E\ -LOO *UDYHV book. hundred viewers. $UWLVW V LPSUHVVLRQ RI WKH IXWXUH GHVLJQ RI WKH 3DW &DVH 'LQLQJ &HQWHU ZKHUH IDXQD JUD]H IUHHO\ RQ IUXLWV YHJHWDEOHV DQG HDFK RWKHU “I’d get on my page-feed-wallThis swift ruling was the result |7KH FDIHWHULD LV DOUHDG\ RQH RI WKH EHVW SODFHV RQ FDPSXV WR VHH DQLPDOV } VDLG PDQDJHU %RE 0DUWLQV |%XW ZH EHOLHYH LW FDQ RQO\ thing,â€? grumbled Scalia, “And of several decisive shifts in the JHW EHWWHU } I’d see all these damn pink and MXVWLFHV¡ RSLQLRQV -XVWLFH $QWKRQ\ about the “many exciting critters student diners. VICTORIA MCGOURAN red equal signs, and it was just rewe cafeteria workers encounter When asked by reporters if he Kennedy, whom close sources ini- DOO\ DQQR\LQJ DW Ă€UVW Âľ 7KH MXVWLFH Cat Wrangler each and every day.â€? was concerned for student safety, tially said “could go either way,â€? proceeded to explain how several After a recent indictment of TU’s On Wednesday, the TU admin- Martins said that the big cats and voted to strike down both of the cafeteria by the Oklahoma State istration greeted the plan with en- multiple species of venomous laws under scrutiny. “What really friends he wouldn’t expect also Health Inspection Board, Pat Case thusiastic support. In a statement, snakes TU plans to bring in “prob- tipped the scale of this justice,â€? FKDQJHG WKHLU SURĂ€OH SLFWXUHV LQ Dining Center manager Bob Mar- President Steadman Upham com- ably aren’t much more dangerous -XVWLFH .HQQHG\ ZURWH LQ WKH PD- a show of solidarity for marriage jority opinion, “was all the touch- equality. tins announced plans to take the mended Martins for “his bold new than our food is already.â€? “And it got me thinking, if all eating establishment in “a differ- plan to educate students about the Sources inside the Caf believe ing (if not proofread) statuses in those people who go to church ent direction.â€? Pat Case ecosystem,â€? saying he that Martins has already ordered support of marriage equality that more often than I do can somehow According to sources, this new hopes this restyling will make the lemurs, orangutans, several spe- kept popping up on his timeline.â€? “I had no idea people cared so Ă€QG D ZD\ WR UHFRQFLOH WKHLU UHOLapproach involves converting the Caf “one of the top 75 cafeterias in cies of tarantula, tigers, gazelle, gious convictions and the notion of current cafeteria into a wildlife the nation.â€? sloths, a wide variety of insect and passionately about this topic,â€? marriage equality, then hell, why sanctuary, where students can According to Martins, the Caf amphibian life forms, as well as Kennedy said, shaking his head in watch free-roaming animals— will now house over 30 varieties “natural foliage so the animals feel awe, “A few friends of mine post- can’t I?â€? Scalia said. After the interview, Scalia eaed some really eloquently-stated both creatures native to the Caf of wild and exotic animals and at home.â€? gerly showed off the “Rainbow and imported exotic animals. will endeavor to “seamlessly inteMartins revealed that the new points, and their bravery to express Recruiterâ€? shirt he was wearing Martins explained the decision grate them with the utterly vanilla Caf will be unveiled in six weeks. their opinions so freely to all their to the State-Run Media, saying atmosphere for which (the Caf) is Despite the addition of animal ex- liberal friends really inspired me.â€? under his judicial robes, on the Kennedy also recounted how a condition that the State-Run Media that “because the Health Board renowned.â€? hibits, including a fully featured promise not to put it on Facebook. found the Caf already capable of Plans under consideration in- reptile house, a penguin tank and “black friend of mine posted a picAt press time, the State-Run housing so much wildlife, this clude an open-forage salad bar and an urban rodents display, Martins ture of himself and his white wife,â€? Media was uploading the picture struck me as a natural transition.â€? a butcher shop where predators said the new Caf will not feature making the point that, “ several de- to Facebook and imploring readers cades ago, their marriage would Martins said that the new animal can eat their raw meat in view of any new cuisine options. have been illegal too. I guess I to “likeâ€? it. sanctuary would teach students

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