21 January 2019

News

The Collegian: 2

21 January 2019

TU construction behind schedule following stalls The project, meant to wrap up before winter, is now looking to conclude by March.

Brooke-Lyne Holland Student Writer Across campus, construction crews are replacing the pipelines that carry the university’s heated water due to corroded pipes.

However, the construction has gone far past its deadline, leaving students and faculty to wonder what is happening. Bob Shipley, the Associate Vice President for Operations and Physical Plant, says there have been many setbacks to the project.

After the original deadline of October or early November 2018, the project was delayed the first time after construction workers came upon a large concrete structure right outside of the Physical Plant. It was part of a pipeline that was installed about 50 years ago and was unknown to Physical Plant personnel.

Because of the location of the anchor, new pipes had to be ordered so the pipeline could go around the concrete. This is because, according to Shipley, “The pipeline consists of an inner pipe, which carries the hot water, and an outer pipe, which protects the insulation around the inner pipe to keep the heat from leaking out into the earth.”

At the moment, construction has hit upon another problem after discovering a water line that was installed several years ago was installed in the wrong location. The water line was supposed to be located farther away from the intended construction site next to fraternity row but is instead right in their path.

Another setback came when a vital piece of equipment, a network box, was put on

backorder and is currently unavailable. This box is needed so the manhole next to the Mabee Gym can be filled.

Finally, about a month to six weeks ago, the project had to be shut down for 10 days after discovering a gas line that ran down the length of a ditch that had been previously excavated. The gas line “had to be propped up to keep it from falling” and because it was in such “bad shape,” the Physical Plant had to rely on ONG, Oklahoma Natural Gas company, to come and patch it.

Once Physical Plant is done with the original construction and the fence is removed, ONG is going to come back to install a new gas line.

“The good news is that they aren’t going to open the ditch back up but do it by boring,” said Shipley.

According to Shipley, directional boring is a minimal impact, trenchless method that installs underground pipe through the ground using a hydraulic system. There will be more construction, but the ditches won’t be opened up again.

Shipley said, “In my opinion, the construction has gone very slow,” though he has shared that he is “happy” that the construction will resume soon.

Many old pieces of the pipe have been replaced since May 2018, and the replacements will continue over the next few years.

The current stage of the project, the muddy ground and static holes that can be seen around the Physical Plant, will hopefully be done by the end of March.

Shipley advises students to continue to be careful around the construction sites and be courteous of the workers involved with the project. He also advises the students to be cautious of occasional gas leaks that may occur in the future and to report any smell of gas to the Physical Plant.

Exposed piping may remain visible on campus until the end of March.

SHOTS aids substance abusers The recently-founded Tulsa organization seeks to upend the stigma around substance abuse.

Avery Childress Student Writer A recently-founded local organization aims to help change a perceived stigma against substance abusers, a stigma that leaves abusers less likely to seek help.

Stop Harm on Tulsa Streets, also known as SHOTS, is a harm reduction program focused on education, compassion and real solutions for people who use drugs. Cofounded by Tulsa native Hana Fields and OU Social Work student Andrea Haddox, SHOTS’s mission is based in both the biomedical nature of addiction and their own experiences.

“Both of us are heroin addicts in recovery,” said Fields. “There are no resources like this — there’s a huge need for this here.”

Maddox agreed, stating, “We’ve both been in abstinence-based recovery for a while now. Just watching people die was starting to get to us.”

According to www.harmreductioncoalition.org, “Harm reduction is a set of practical strategies and ideas aimed at reducing negative consequences associated with drug use.” Fields describes it as “the philosophy that people are going to engage in risky behaviors regardless” and that SHOTS wants to ensure that drug users “have the tools to keep themselves safe.” So what does that look like in practice?

For one, SHOTS has forged a number of relationships with relevant services, treatment centers and counsellors. When someone contacts SHOTS in need of a particular service, they act as a medium through which a drug user can find the help they need. SHOTS also provides Naloxone, an

emergency life-saving treatment for narcotic overdose, to anyone who needs it, no questions asked.

Along with Naloxone, SHOTS also has free condoms, clean syringes and fentanyl testing strips available. Haddox and Fields understand that this element of their work is controversial; a primary criticism of harm reduction strategy is that it is enabling to drug and alcohol users.

Haddox explains the work that SHOTS does with harm reduction as being “very comparable to teaching people safe sex.” To make a comparison, abstinence-only sex education is often considered ineffective. With the lack of success coming from substance abuse prevention programs like D.A.R.E., SHOTS claims it only follows that a harm reduction strategy makes the most sense and that the lazer focus on abstinence-based recovery that our society bombards drug users with only leads to shame. SHOTS espouses the reality that drug users don’t get the chance to recover if they’re dead and that harm reduction efforts are a crucial step in saving the lives of so many people with substance use disorder.

“Breaking the stigma is one of the things that’s extremely important to us. Drug addiction is so stigmatized, people believe it’s a moral issue and not a disease. And it absolutely is a disease,” Haddox says. “We’re the first point of contact for people that usually spend most of their time in isolation.

Meeting them where they are and not where we expect them to be, we can break that isolation.”

If you’re interested in contributing to the harm reduction effort here in Tulsa, SHOTS is always looking for volunteers and maintains an ongoing fundraising page at fundly. com/stop-harm-on-tulsa-streets. You can find more information about SHOTS and access resources via their Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/stopharmontulsastreets or through call/text at 918-973-2671.

@TUCollegian

tucollegian@tucollegian.org editor-in-chief

Justin Guglielmetti managing editor

Raven Fawcett news editor

Ethan Veenker sports editor

Brennen Gray variety editor

Emma Palmer commentary editor

Emily Every satire editor

Madison Connell photo & graphics editor

Conner Maggio

business & advertising manager

Brian Kwiecinski

social media & web manager

Sara Serrano

distribution managers

Jacob Lee Jesica Santino and Katelyn Baker copy editor

Bryant Loney

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photo by Conner Maggio

Chinese Chang’e 4 probe lands on far side of moon The probe, orbiting the moon since June 2018, engaged in a “soft” landing recently.

Anna Robinson Student Writer Cue Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” because China’s Chang’e 4 spacecraft and accompanying lunar rover just landed on the far side of the moon, also known as its dark side.

This side of the moon is not truly dark all the time. The sun does reach this area — it just never faces Earth, hence its classification as the “far side.” Though space programs from other countries have sent off spacecrafts and rovers, China’s expedition is unique in that no person or object has ever explored the far side of the moon. Photographs from a 1959 Soviet mission to this side do exist, but the Soviet Union did not land anything on the far side’s surface.

Communication with Earth is blocked from this side, which is why it has remained unexplored until now. China used satellites to maneuver around this obstacle.

The Chang’e 4 300-pound lunar rover has already sent photos back to Earth with the satellite that has been in orbit since June of 2018. Professor James Head of Brown University likened China’s spacecraft landing to Columbus venturing to the New World because it has opened up the opportunity for more scientific targets.

According to Popular Mechanics, Chang’e 4 landed at the South Pole-Aitken basin, one of the largest impact craters in our solar system. Specifically, the Chang’e

4 is inside the Von Karman crater that has a diameter of 115 miles. It is named after Theodore Von Karman, who was an advisor to Qian Xussen, the founder of China’s space program called the China National Space Administration (CNSA). The Chang’e 4 mission will also perform the first radio astronomy experiments, and the rover is carrying silkworm eggs and seeds of potato plants to monitor how seeds grow in the moon’s environment.

China’s space plans reach into 2020 as they prepare their own space station. These strides of the CNSA come as the United States plans to leave the International Space Station, a station formed from the combined efforts of 15 countries. NASA currently has a smaller share of the federal budget than it did during the Apollo program during the 1960s. Now NASA only receives 0.4 percent of the budget compared to around 4 percent. Though the U.S. continues to conduct studies in outer space, such as the Mars InSight spacecraft, former NASA astronaut Dr. Leroy Chiao believes the U.S. and China’s space endeavors to be a “Tortoise and the Hare” situation respectively, as space ventures are not currently a priority of the U.S. government.

The Chang’e 4’s mission makes China’s space program more prominent on an international scale. China is now only the third country to send something to the moon with a soft landing, meaning that it did not crash land. The other two are the United States and the Soviet Union. Reminiscent of the U.S.-Soviet space race during the Cold War, modern scholars believe China to be the new major competition for the U.S.

“‘Just watching people die was starting to get to us.’” courtesy Cnet/China National Space Administration/Xinhua News Agency An image from China’s Chang’e 4 probe reveals the dark side up close.

News

21 January 2019

Jan. 10 3:00 p.m.

University of Tulsa Security Officers were dispatched to Case Athletic Center to investigate a possible individual who was causing a disturbance. Upon arrival, officers determined that the individual was a non-TU affiliate with prior contact. The individual was trespass warned from University property in the past. When speaking to the individual, they attempted to charge at officers. Officers detained the individual. Tulsa Police Department was notified and arrested the individual for trespassing.

Jan. 11 11:45 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to University Square West to investigate a possible noise complaint. Upon arrival Officers located the source of the noise and made contact with the resident of the apartment. Officers instructed for the resident to turn down their music. The resident agreed to turn down the music.

Jan. 13 1:45 a.m.

University of Tulsa Campus security Officers were dispatched to investigate a call from an emergency phone on campus. The Communication Center informed officers the call was continuous and Officers were able to locate the student who activated it at John Mabee Hall. The student advised there was not an emergency, they were just locked out of their dorm. The emergency phone was reset and officers left without further incident.

9:25 a.m.

While on routine patrol University of Tulsa campus Security Officers observed a trash bin in the Brown Village Apart-

The Collegian: 3

ment Lot that was spray painted blue. Officers requested a work order for the paint to be removed. Officers were unable to locate a suspect at this time.

escorted the subject outside without further incident. Officers requested a maintenance work order for the inoperable bathroom.

Jan. 14 3:50 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were informed of suspicious activity occurring at the Oxley College of Health Sciences. The individual was stopped by a University of Tulsa staff member and escorted to the security desk. The individual left before answering any of the Officers questions.

11:55 a.m.

While on routine patrol University of Tulsa campus security Officers observed a non University of Tulsa Individual lying on the ground next to a bicycle close to East 6th and Delaware Avenue. The individual stated they wrecked their bicycle after their chain broke. The individual denied Emergency Medical Services. The individual was allowed to leave due to their injuries and that they were on public property when the wreck occurred.

5:00 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to investigate a possible larceny from the Lambda Chi Fraternity House. Officers spoke with a member of Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity who reported the theft of an Xbox One gaming system from their house. The investigation is on going at this time.

9:30 p.m.

While on routine patrol University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers found a wallet near McFarlin Library. While conducting an inventory of the wallet, officers found contraband. The owner was determine and contacted and the items were returned. The student was informed that Campus Security would be confiscating the contraband and that a student misconduct was issued.

10:15 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to investigate a possible injured student at Collins Fitness Center. Upon arrival officers met with a student who thought they had broken their arm playing basketball.

Emergency Medical Services Authority arrived on scene.

The student was transported to St. John Medical Center by a friend.

Jan. 15 10:40 a.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were dispatched to Collins Fitness on a report of a subject walking into the wrong bathroom. Officers arrived to find the subject waiting inside the building with two staff members. The subject admitted to using the wrong bathroom but stated that the correct bathroom’s facilities were out of order. Officers

Chris Lierly and Lindsey Prather Student Writers

Brexit reaches impasse Following the Brexit vote on June 23, 2016, the British Parliament has tried to negotiate a trade deal with the European Union before the secession becomes official on March 29. This week, two votes were held regarding Brexit. The first resulted in Parliament voting down an act by a margin of 432-202 that, if it had passed, would have finalized a trade agreement between the E.U. and the U.K. With the bill’s failure, the Conservative Party was forced to hold a vote of no confidence on Prime Minister May’s government’s leadership.

Both votes shattered precedent. The attempt to pass the trade deal failed by the largest margin in Parliament’s history, and the vote of no confidence was the second of its kind in the last two months. The entire exit process is now in limbo, as Germany, France and the EU’s other principal leaders do not seem ready to make the kinds of concessions that members of British Parliament are demanding of their prime minister.

Brazilian President Bolsonaro makes good on promises Recently elected Jair Bolsonaro was sworn in as the 38th President of Brazil this past month. Bolsonaro faced a competitive crowd of 13 candidates and emerged as the leading vote-getter of the October 7 election with 46 percent. His subsequent victory in the runoff election saw the defeat of the Worker’s Party of Brazil, a group that had won the previous four presidential elections.

Bolsonaro’s election has inspired criticism due to its continuation of the rightward swing in global politics, most notably in the campaigns nationalistic overtures as well as its anti-gay, pro-capitalist rhetoric. In his first few weeks in office, Bolsonaro’s administration has explored opening up the Amazon basin to business interests while he seeks to fulfill his many campaign promises.

Syrian suicide bombing kills 16 A suicide bombing killed 16 people in Manbij, Syria, on Jan. 16. Four Americans — two civilians and two members of the armed forces — were killed as a result of the blast, along with injuries to three additional service members. The attack on the town in northeastern Syria was claimed by the Islamic State and marks the deadliest attack on U.S. forces in the country since they were deployed to fight the terrorist group in 2015.

This comes in light of Trump’s announcement that the United States would be withdrawing from Syria immediately. In a tweet, the president wrote that “We have defeated ISIS in Syria.” However, this week, Republican Senator Lindsey Graham, who often criticized the previous Commander and Chief, called it “an Obama-like mistake,” and Senator Ben Sasse labeled it a “weak decision.”

8:20 p.m.

While on routine patrol University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers noticed a vehicle fail to stop at a stop sign at 800 S. Tucker Drive. Officers initiated a traffic stop on the vehicle which was driven by a TU affiliate. The affiliate disregarded the stop sign because they were running late for a meeting.

Jan. 16 3:45 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to investigate a possible vandalism to a vehicle at Mabee Gym. The owner of the vehicle reported that the vehicle was parked near the Lorton Performance Center and was vandalized. The investigation is still ongoing.

4:15 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers received a report of an unidentified individual who posed as an employee and committed fraud against the University.There are no known suspects at this time.

Jan. 17 5:30 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to investigate suspicious individuals having been on campus. The reporting party stated that they had seen two individuals acting strangely near their apartment on two separate occasions. Officers interviewed the reporting party and collected a witness statement.

The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

Tuesday, January 22 at 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.

Lorton Performance Center Free Hugs Project at TU: The Power of Love Join us and Ken Nwadike, Jr., a motivational speaker and peace activist, in a discussion exploring the power of human interaction and spreading love in transforming the campus climate. The goal of this program is to create unity, civility, and build a more diverse and inclusive culture on our campus.

This event is open to all students and the public. Seats are first come, first serve.

Doors will open at 6:30 P.M. and the event will start at 7 P.M. If you are interested in learning more about the Free Hugs Project or Ken Nwadike, Jr., check out https://freehugsproject.com!

Wednesday, January 23 at 3:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.

Helmerich Hall, HELM 121 LinkedIn and Handshake Workshop ALL BUSINESS STUDENTS are encouraged to attend this workshop to learn more about Handshake, which is TU’s new hub for all things college-to-career…jobs, internships, career fairs, workshops, events and more!! The LinkedIn portion of this workshop will help give you tips to creating a profile and how to engage and connect with employers and TU alumni to help with your career search. Bring your laptop and join the Business Career Center for this informative workshop.

Thursday, January 24 at 3:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.

Helmerich Hall, HELM 121 Networking & Career Fair Workshop Networking at a Career Fair and other events are valuable for getting a lead on a job, gathering information, or connecting with people in your dream company. Most of us are not born networkers. Practice and preparation will help you develop the skills it takes to be effective when navigating any networking event.

Thursday, January 24 at 6:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.

Collins Fitness Center, Lobby Nutritional Supplementation Come join us in the CFC lobby as Dr. Gordon Purser gives an informational talk on nutritional supplements! You will learn about supplements, why they work, and how they effect your body. Dr. Purser will also host a Q&A session after his talk.

Thursday, January 24 at 7:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m.

Tyrrell Hall Cadenhead-Settle Memorial Lecture: “Asian Americans in the Military: The Politics of Belonging and Memory” Guest Speaker: K. Scott Wong, Charles R. Keller Professor of History, Williams College Author of Americans First: Chinese Americans and the Second World War. Professor Wong’s talk will address the politics of Asian Americans serving in the American military from WWII through the war in Iraq. The lecture will examine the power of the memory from the all-Japanese American 442nd Regimental Combat Team to the efforts of Dan Choi to challenge “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

Friday, January 25 at 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.

Keplinger Hall, 3005 TU Robotics Mining Competition – Open House Come join us at Open House for a night of food, robotics and fun! We will be showing off our robot prototype for this year’s NASA Robotic Mining Competition and have opportunities to learn about our awesome team. Food and drinks will be provided by Jane’s Deli. RSVP at https://tinyurl.com/TURMC-Open-House The Collegian does not produce all event descriptions in the Community Calendar.

Contact us at news@tucollegian.org with events.

The Collegian: 4

Sports

21 January 2019

US Gymnastics Association bankrupt

Gymnastics journalist Hannah Robbins discusses USA Gymnastics’ new low and the maneuvering that might only harm athletes and survivors further.

If you were worried about USA Gymnastics falling out of the news after the U.S. Olympic Committee started the process of revoking their status as the sport’s national governing board, worry no more. USA Gymnastics filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy earlier last month, and as with most things news-related to USAG, when they sought to fix the problem, they actually made it worse.

on the orders of Steve Penny, former USA Gymnastics president. When she was deposed in Aly Raisman’s lawsuit on Nov. 13, she plead the fifth 130 separate times.

Second, while USA Gymnastics is going to court to ask for holiday bonuses, its athletes are not getting paid. News broke last week that male gymnasts have not received their monthly stipend this month, and some

haven’t received it since November. NonNCAA gymnasts receive this stipend from USA Gymnastics in order to help cover the costs of training and preparing for the 2020 Olympics. In addition, coaches that attended the Gymnastics Worlds in Doha last year did not receive their pay from USAG. USA Gymnastics needs to get its act together or it will not be in a suitable state to

select athletes for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics.

If that were to occur, then it would be the U.S. Olympic Committee that would select those athletes. Maybe filing for bankruptcy is the final push to get the organization back on track, but it might be too late.

“USA Gymnastics needs to get its act together or it will not be in a suitable state to select athletes for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics.”

USA Gymnastics claims, in a move similar to that of Catholic dioceses, that filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy will help it reach settlements on the dozens of lawsuits that it is involved in. By filing bankruptcy, USAG is speeding up the mediation process, and it won’t affect the amount of money available for settlements since that will be provided by previously purchased insurance.

The U.S. Olympic Committee has stated it is re-evaluating whether it can continue the process of stripping them of their rights, noting that a bankrupt NGB would struggle to operate in the best interests of its athletes.

USA Gymnastics stated that it is not filing bankruptcy for monetary reasons, but rather because this gives them a method to reorganize to continue to exist.

However, this bankruptcy can, and has, harmed people. First, this puts a stop to depositions and discovery of USA Gymnastics officials related to lawsuits against Larry Nassar, the doctor who sexually assaulted and abused over 300 gymnasts. This means any ongoing lawsuits may be unable to continue the litigation process as this bankruptcy occurs.

In addition, USA Gymnastics has continued to highlight its hypocrisy during its bankruptcy. Earlier this month, USAG went to the U.S. Bankruptcy Court to ask for help paying employees $88,000 in bonuses. These bonuses go to 40 employees and are holiday bonuses in increments of either $1,000 or $5,000. This would be a strange request, but not unheard of, if not for two facts.

First, one of the employees receiving a holiday bonus is Amy White. White is the national teams manager and allegedly removed documents from the Karolyi ranch USAG’s scandals and other troubles have caused the organization to go bankrupt.

graphic by Conner Maggio

Browns’ new hire accused of bigotry In re-stocking their coaching staff, the Cleveland NFL team hired a controversial new special teams coordinater who was accused of offensive comments in 2012.

Lindsey Prather Student Writer The Cleveland Browns underwent an extraordinary transformation in 2018 and have sought to build on that success in their offseason. Following the mid-season firing of Hue Jackson and the elevation of Gregg Williams as interim head coach, it was unsurprising that a series of coaching changes have been the biggest moves from the Browns these last few weeks.

phobic comments directed towards former Vikings punter Chris Kluwe. Kluwe, a particularly outspoken supporter of gay rights and same-sex marriage, published a series of articles supporting same-sex marriage in 2012 that drew ire from Priefer.

According to a suit filed by Kluwe, Priefer was unsupportive at best and downright abusive at worst, culminating in a particularly infamous exchange in which Priefer insisted that “We should round up all the gays, send them to an island, and then nuke it until it glows.”

Despite these comments taking place in 2012, it wasn’t until two years later that Priefer faced any sort of backlash from the Vikings’ front office. Priefer denied Kluwe’s accusations, but after an internal investigation found that Priefer made at least one homophobic remark, he was suspended by the team for three games in 2014 and made to participate in sensitivity training.

That was the extent of Minnesota’s concern — Priefer retained his job and, in 2016,

“... Priefer was unsupportive at best and downright abusive at worst...”

Priefer while he was still with the Vikings.

courtesy Minnesota Sports Fan

Shortly after the news that the Browns would be moving offensive coordinator Freddie Kitchens as their new head coach, the Browns front office began seeking out new hires to fill the coaching infrastructure around him. One of their top priorities was a new special teams coach following the Browns’ lackluster performance this season.

Their solution to this problem was hiring former Vikings coach Mike Priefer.

Priefer was the special teams coordinator for the Minnesota Vikings for eight seasons.

His contract expired in 2018, and rather than renegotiating, he sought out a fresh start with the Browns. Last year, the Vikings’ special teams unit under Priefer ranked 20th in the NFL. However, one particular issue with this new hire has been questionable at best: Priefer has had some notable baggage with a suspension in 2014. Priefer inspired controversy in 2012 following a series of homo-

was even elevated to interim head coach when Mike Zimmer missed a game due to eye surgery.

To break it down further, the Vikings were consistently ranked in the top half of special teams categories. Additionally, he also brings over 17 years of NFL coaching experience, including stints with the Denver Broncos and Kansas City Chiefs as special teams coordinator.

Priefer performed reasonably well at his job, and so the Vikings were happy to let him pass with a slap on the wrist for merely saying that gay people should be nuked out of existence.

This new opportunity with the Browns has raised the same questions surrounding the controversy from a few seasons ago.

However, it is abundantly clear in the NFL that ability trumps any type of character concerns whatsoever.

Sports

21 January 2019

Quads may hurt young skaters

Figure skating expert Hannah Robbins discusses the dangers of quadruple jumps and the sacrifices the sport has made because of them.

According to the Olympics’ website, a quadruple jump is defined as a jump with at least four but less than five rotations.

Conceptually, it’s a simple idea.

Leave the ice, rotate 1,440 degrees, land on the ground. As of the 2018-2019 season, quadruple jumps are commonplace in men’s programs and have even entered the women’s competition. They look simple, beautiful even, but behind the beauty is a dangerous jump that we don’t quite understand. As skaters are attempting and completing quads at younger and younger ages, we should take a moment and consider the cost of completing a quad jump.

Why would skaters start attempting these jumps in programs? Simple: figure skating is, at its most basic level, a points game. Each skater can complete a certain number of jumping passes, spins, step sequences and other elements based on their discipline. Each element is assigned a technical value and a grade of execution (GOE) score. The grade of execution score is the average of between five and nine judges that look for positive or negative aspects of an element with GOE adding or subtracting up to half

the value of the element from its technical (base) value.

Since skaters are only able to complete a certain number of elements per program, it makes sense that they would focus on getting the most value for each element possible. While the GOE and their confidence on being able to perform an element cleanly should always be considered, the math is almost always in favor of a more difficult element. A clean triple toe loop with a decent GOE is worth 5.25 points. Meanwhile, a quadruple toe loop where a skater struggles a bit but doesn’t fall is worth 7.13 points. Simple math.

Now some may ask why the quad fad is new if the math is in favor of more difficult jumps. The answer lies within the difficulty of the quad as a jump. Rotating four times in the air and landing on one foot is difficult; before 1988, no one had landed a verified quad, and it took until 2002 for a woman to land one. Even when landed, the trend did not catch on right away.

As recently as 2010, both men and women’s Olympic champions did not include quadruple jumps in their program. After the controversy surrounding Evan Lysacek’s quadless win in 2010, it became a

common sentiment that most competitive male skaters should have at least one quad in their pocket.

It wasn’t until 2016 that all of the quadruple jumps (minus the quadruple axel, which has been attempted once in competition) were landed.

In the lead-up to the 2018 Olympics, most competitive skaters completed multiple quads a competition. After what is affectionately referred to as a spillsfest, as five of the top six skaters in the men’s short program at the 2018 World Championships fell multiple times, dropping over 15 places in some case, the International Skating Union tried to prevent the falls by allowing only one repeated quad per program instead of two and reducing the base values of quads by up to two points.

This hasn’t stopped anyone.

Skaters are attempting quads younger and younger; Alexandra Trusova became the first woman to land a quad toe loop at 13, and Stephen Gogolev became the youngest person to land a quad toe, lutz and salchow in competition also at 13.

While the skaters are getting younger, the risks are still unknown. Since quads have not been

attempted for that long, no one has been able to study what they do to the human body. It is estimated that the landing of a quadruple jump on one foot puts somewhere between seven to 10 times the weight of the human body on one foot, and the repetitive nature of practicing these jumps can cause microfractures in the right (landing) foot of skaters.

As the skaters attempting quads get younger, an entire generation of skaters are putting unknown amounts of stress on their bodies, and with the Russian junior ladies making quads commonplace, the pressure on the ladies field to include a quad is increasing. This pressure introduces an entirely new field of skaters to risks that will affect them longer than their careers on the ice.

While technically scores have decreased, the change in GOE this year means that a perfectly executed quad lutz is worth 17.25 points, up from 16.6 points last year. Higher risk means higher reward, and as skaters fight to stay relevant, they are willing to make that risk. Is it worth it?

The Collegian: 5

Dyin’ for Zion If you prefer the talent and sophistication of pro basketball over college, and thus haven’t seen much of the presumptive 2019 number one pick, do yourself a favor and tune into the next Duke game you find on TV. We all knew that Zion was a one-of-a-kind athlete, a defensive end turned power forward with a baby face and a 45-inch vertical.

But we weren’t prepared for his vision in the open floor, his impossible efficiency or his defensive sophistication. Remember when “experts” were saying teammate R.J. Barrett was the most NBA-ready guy in this class? The lesson, as always: nobody knows anything.

Let’s Dispel This Myth... ...that Donald Trump doesn’t know what he’s doing, he knows exactly what he’s doing. I can’t figure out why everyone is so upset about this whole McDonald’s served in the White House thing.

After pulling off an upset in the biggest game of your life, wouldn’t you want to fill your body with paper-thin, greasey burgers, limp and tasteless fries and nugs that are at least 37 percent real chicken? They were probably given Happy Meal toys too, and honestly who wouldn’t go for an action figure over a filet mignon? Oh wait, I hate everything I just wrote. At least splurge on some fucking Five Guys.

Premier League update: Week 23 Soccer expert Chris Lierly outlines the state of the English soccer league based on its top teams and players at the moment.

1. Liverpool Points: 60 Form: WWLWW Best Player: CB Virgil van Dijk.

Zero times dribbled past (as of January) Most Recent Result: 4-3 win over Crystal Palace Season so far: With an electric win over Crystal Palace in a back-and-forth match that produced seven goals, the Reds maintain their lead in the Premier League. The loss to Man City does not seem to have tripped them up much, but their tactics have changed slightly as a result of that tactical slip-up. Since City exposed to the world that Dejan Lovren is the weak link in an otherwise dominant backline, Jurgen Klopp has begun to play Fabinho in the role instead.

2. Manchester City Points: 56 Form: LLWWW Best Player: CDM Fernandinho.

75.3 passes per match and 81 percent tackle success Most Recent Result: 3-0 win over Huddersfield

Season so far: Before their win at home against Liverpool, Manchester City had been the middle of a dismal skid, due in part to the absence of Kevin De Bruyne that created the gap between the top two teams. The Citizens look to have turned this form around but now have work to do.

The gap is surmountable, and City are a highly talented team. Still, their chances to catch Liverpool will likely come down to a March 16 showdown with United in the Manchester Derby.

3. Tottenham Hotspur Points: 51 Form: WLWLW Best Player: ST Harry Kane. 14 goals Most Recent Result: 2-1 win over Fulham Season so far: Tottenham have begun to slip out of the true race for the title, as losses to Wolves and United torpedoed a previously hopeful season.

Tacked on to that, Harry Kane will be out with an injury until March and Son Heung-Min will be playing for South Korea in the Asian

Cup. In their absence, Christian Eriksen and Dele Alli will have to step up and play the month of their lives if Spurs are to remain in the top four.

4. Chelsea Points: 47 Form: WWDWL Best Player: LW Eden Hazard. 10 goals and 10 assists Most Recent Result: 2-0 loss to Arsenal Season so far: What started off as a fast season for the Blues has begun to hit a midseason skid. If they can make it through the transfer window without any major losses, like Hazard to Real Madrid, then they might have a chance of finishing where they are. However, as other teams begin to catch fire, Maurizio Sarri might have to change up his heavily defensive style if he doesn’t want Chelsea to end up in the Europa League for a second consecutive season.

5. Arsenal (on goal differential) Points: 44 Form: DLWLW Best Player: ST Pierre-Emerick

Aubameyang. 14 goals Most Recent Result: 2-0 win over Chelsea Season so far: Arsenal have been a wave of inconsistency this year, and that has yielded both positive and negative results. Their loss against West Ham shows how vulnerable they are on defense, but their win against Chelsea shows how a hot start can win them matches. Still, Unai Emery has to be concerned with recent movements in the top six. If Arsenal does not maintain a consistent winning form, then they, like Chelsea, will fall prey to a resurgent Manchester United.

6. Manchester United Points: 44 Form: WWWWW Best Player: CM Paul Pogba. 8 goals and 7 assists Most Recent Result: 2-1 win over Brighton Season so far: With a form unmatched in the Premier League, even by leaders Liverpool, the Red Devils have been dominating teams left and right since Jose Mourinho’s sack-

ing. It is too early to assume they will finish in the top four, but they have now tied Arsenal on points and Champions League qualification is not out of the question. If new manager Ole Gunnar Solksjær can develop a distinct style at Old Trafford, then he could likely turn a caretaker managership into a permanent one.

Rest of the Table: 7. Watford 8. Wolves 9. Leicester City 10. West Ham 11. Everton 12. Bournemouth 13. Brighton 14. Crystal Palace 15. Southampton 16. Burnley FC 17. Newcastle 18. Cardiff City* 19. Fulham* 20. Huddersfield Town* *as it stands, these teams will be relegated to the second flight of English football

CFP should expand to eight teams

College sports expert Andrew Noland suggests needed improvements for the college football playoff system.

Virgil van Dijk celebrates during a match.

courtesy Daily Echo

Having been ushered into the college football offseason with Clemson thrashing Alabama behind the arm of freshman quarterback Trevor Lawrence, college football media returned to the inevitable, drab conversation concerning how to decide the national champion. Notre Dame proved lifeless to Clemson, and despite an impressive second half-comeback from the University of Oklahoma, Alabama still comfortably slid into the final.

Since I have been given the unenviable task of reimagining the structure of college football’s postseason single handedly, I should start small.

First, the playoff should be expanded to eight teams. Four teams are obviously too small and frankly embarrassing. With the Alabama cheerleading team that is the College Football Playoff Committee, one spot will always be taken

by Coach Nick Saban’s team. Expanding to eight teams allows all one-loss teams from Power-Five conferences to join in the race for the championship, as well as the potential for an undefeated nonPower Five team.

However, this does potentially extend the season to 16 games, which is dangerous for the health of college players. With football as one of the world’s most dangerous sports, reducing the regular season by one game is imperative to allow for the extra playoff game.

Finally, the primary point of contention is often not based on a win-loss ratio, but strength of schedule. Baylor and Texas Christian University, both oneloss teams in 2014, did not find themselves in the playoff due to the opponents they had scheduled that year. Baylor and TCU fluffed their schedule with Division Two teams and non-Power Five teams and this came back to haunt them when December arrived.

In order to avoid this dilemma, teams should be required to play all but one of their non-conference games against Power-Five opponents. Playing small teams is vital to less wealthy programs because larger programs often pay the team they use as a punching bag to fund the rest of their season. However, any more than one is frankly presenting a misleading win column.

Alabama has used their program’s

history, their coach’s reputation, media bias and playing in the supposedly best conference as excuses to play terrible non-conference teams. If Alabama wants to enter the playoff, they need to join with the other non-SEC teams that play tough out-of-conference schedules; not all teams should have an automatic berth into the playoff like the Crimson Tide does.

Playing Power Five conference teams would also ensure a clearer postseason picture for the playoff committee. Teams should be rewarded for challenging themselves against the best teams and this also establishes a baseline for the playoff committee in terms of scheduling.

In conclusion, college football must make moves to make the playoff selection more standardized. It should shorten the season by one game, expand the playoff to eight spots and force freeriders to play tough teams. Although not a complex overhaul, these changes at least eases some concerns about the nature of the selection process for the playoff.

21 January 2019

Sports

The Collegian: 6

Golden Hurricane smacks Huskies

TU basketball journalist Hannah Robbins discusses the fight on and off the court as TU men’s basketball snapped its two-game losing streak.

When the athletics department decided to market the basketball game on Wednesday as the “Rumble in the Reynolds,” they got more than they expected. Instead of the rumble just being between the Golden Hurricane and Husky players, the coaches decided they wanted to join the fun. With 11 minutes left in the second half, both head coaches were escorted off the court after what TU’s coach Frank Haith described as a “competitive discussion,” earning both teams two technical fouls.

The Golden Hurricane had a slow start, with Christian Vital of the Huskies starting the game with an easy layup, but around three minutes into the first half, Tulsa started to hit their stride with Jeriah Horne’s first three-pointer of the game. Horne was a driving force for Tulsa, scoring a career-high 27 points, going eight for eight at the line, three for four on three-pointers, and eight for 11 for overall from the field.

After a second three-pointer by Horne in quick succession, Tulsa started to pull ahead, but struggled to convert rebounds and turnovers into points. Their lead diminished, as they went two for seven in five minutes, finally giving the lead to the Huskies when Sidney Wilson drained a threepointer with nine minutes left in the half.

From there, the Huskies and Golden Hurricane were neck and neck, but Wilson’s three-pointer was the last time UConn had the lead. Martins Igbanu’s dunk with six minutes left in the half sealed the Huskies’ fate till half time. While UConn tried to respond to Tulsa, shots by Horne and DaQuan Jeffries put Tulsa up by five as the half concluded.

Photos from Tulsa’s close win against UConn.

As Tulsa entered the second half, they came back on the court with renewed energy. After a jumpshot by Igbanu and a layup and three-pointer by Curran Scott, Tulsa had doubled their lead. A key three-pointer by Sterling Taplin had Tulsa up by 17, which lit a fire under UConn for a time. UConn tried to answer, but fouls prevented them from getting within seven points of Tulsa.

For once, Tulsa decided to really lean into their theme for the day, and with Haith’s objection to a foul called on Jeffries with 11:19 left in the second half, both teams lost their head coaches in their own rumble.

Tulsa seemed to struggle after losing Haith. While UConn continued to try to cut their lead down with three-pointers by Vital and Jalen Adams, UConn’s high-scorer of the game who matched Horne’s 27 points, they were unable to whittle the lead down further than a half dozen.

With less than two minutes left in the game, the Huskies turned to a different strategy. Since both teams were already at ten fouls, fouls could only help the Huskies, preventing Tulsa from executing a play of their own.

On paper, this was good plan, but they underestimated Tulsa’s free throw skill: Tulsa went 26 for 36 at the line, making 70 percent of their free throws in the second half and nine for 11 in the last two minutes.

Tulsa came out on top, and the loss of Vital with eight seconds left after his fifth foul ended any chance of a comeback, despite Adam’s buzzer-beater three-pointer. Tulsa ended up on top 89-83.

photos by Dalton Stewart

courtesy Jordan Korphage

21 January 2019

Photos from Tulsa’s narrow victory over UConn.

Sports

The Collegian: 7

photos by Dalton Stewart

Women’s basketball falls to Cincinnati The Golden Hurricane fell 70-50 to the Cincinnati Bearcats on Saturday, January 19.

Photos from Tulsa’s loss against Cincinnati.

photos by James Taylor

Sports

The Collegian: 8

21 January 2019

photos by James Taylor

Photos from Tulsa’s loss against Cincinnati.

Jan. 21 - Jan. 27 Monday

Tuesday 21

Wednesday 22

23

No Events No Events No Events

Thursday 24

M Basketball @ Cincinnati 6 p.m.

Saturday

Friday 25

No Events

Sunday

26

27

Track and Field @ Pitt State Invitational

M Tennis vs. ACU 9 a.m.

W Basketball @ Houston 2 p.m.

M Basketball vs. Houston 1 p.m.

W Tennis @ ITA Kickoff 2 p.m.

M Tennis vs. NOU 3 p.m.

21 January 2019

Variety

The Collegian: 9

The Collegian’s most definite top ten movies of 2018

2018 was a good year for cinema; here are a few of my favorites.

Emma Palmer Variety Editor

10: The Ballad of Buster Scruggs This year, I discovered that I actually like westerns, and the Coen brothers’ newest film “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” is a perfect example of the kind of western I enjoy. The Coens create a brutal world that is callous and cruel, where people get away with murder all the time while the innocent and the defenseless are trod upon. “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” is an anthology film, with six short stories ranging from 10 to 45-minutes long. None of them have happy endings; all of them are good.

9: Mission: Impossible – Fallout Good action is good action, and the Mission: Impossible franchise does it well.

“Mission: Impossible – Fallout” was exhilarating and fun. Henry Cavill showed a delicious range, and Tom Cruise broke his ankle on the first day of filming — which is to say, it’s kind of wonderful that this movie exists at all. One of the nice things about following this series is watching characters come into their own, which is particularly true of “Mission: Impossible – Fallout,” where we see the return of Ilsa (Rebecca Ferguson) and Beji (Simon Pegg), who both shoulder large portions of the film.

put on this list, “Spider-Verse” is an instant classic on its own merit. From the animation to the music to the story, “Spider-Verse” in some ways feels like it’s juggling tomatoes while someone keeps throwing more and more tomatoes into the hands of the juggler.

That is to say, on many levels, it’s astonishing that “Spider-Verse” packs so much in without getting convoluted in the way that superhero films are apt to do. The secret to this: Miles Morales. This may be the Spider-Verse, but it’s Miles’s film through and through and he shines.

7: If Beale Street Could Talk Based on the James Baldwin novel by the same name, “If Beale Street Could Talk” is a soft film about hard things. The script, score and performances all make this film special.

The lighting and cinematography are transcendent and color how we see the entirety of the film. The subject matter is handled with tact, and the whole film stands as a testament to what it’s like to fall in love and what it’s like to lose.

courtesy Plan B Entertainment

courtesy Columbia Pictures

8: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse The the first of two “family” films I’ve

6: Paddington 2 “Paddington 2” is that rare sequel in that it’s better than its predecessor. Almost all of the films on this list are directly political, and the decidedly pro-immigration “Paddington 2” is no exception. I want more films like “Paddington 2,” where the thesis statement is, “If we’re kind and polite, the world will be right.” This is the kind of film to watch when the world is going to hell.

Not quite escapism but something nearing a

media detox. I keep coming back to it, simply because the it lives in that rare ideal of being kind and polite.

beautiful and poetic, and the minute I finished, I wanted to walk back into the theater and watch it again.

2: Annihilation After the release of “Annihilation,” I read a lot of reviews. Every journalist had a different take on what the film was a metaphor for: it was about grief, about PTSD, about depression. To say that “Annihilation” was a good sci-fi film would be to belittle it, but isn’t that what good fiction does best? Point its audience towards the real in their own lives? “Annihilation” is good sci-fi, which leads to it being a metaphor about grief, PTSD and depression. It’s visually stunning and, at times, eviscerating.

courtesy Focus Features

5: BlacKkKlansman The last 10 minutes of “BlacKkKlansman” are terrifying. They are eye-opening.

They were made for people like me. Spike Lee has been making provocative films for a long time; this is one of his most successful.

4: Blindspotting “Blindspotting” is a film made by three friends, and it shows. Yes, it’s a film about race, gentrification and class differences, but it’s also a film about friendship. It’s a comedy; it’s a drama; it has surreal dream sequences with rap. “Blindspotting” is a lot of things. It’s profound in its dialogue and has an EP that accompanies the film that I’ve listened to more times than I can say.

More than that though, it’s a film that’s fully enjoyable. I laughed a lot during this one.

3: The Rider There’s a point in “The Rider” where we see the main character, Brady Blackburn (played by Brady Jandreau), break in a horse and realize, “Oh, this man isn’t just an actor — he can actually do all of this.”

Chloe Zhao’s second film, “The Rider” doesn’t have a conventional plot in the way that we expect from a film. Or rather, it does have a plot, but it’s paper-thin, and the film would do fine without it. Instead, Zhao presents us with a world and has the decency to let the audience live in it for an hour and a half. Soft and melancholic, “The Rider” is

courtesy A24

1: First Reformed Here we are, at number one. I can’t quite explain why “First Reformed” stuck with me as long as it has. I saw it in the spring of last year, and I can’t get it out of my head.

I’ve done a lot of thinking about it, and the best I can say is that “First Reformed” is, like much of religion, bleak. Devastatingly so. I don’t even know if it’s redemptive.

The main character, a priest named Reverend Toller (Ethan Hawke) has lost his faith and yet simultaneously remains the strongest believer he knows. But there’s a character named Mary, and she’s pregnant, and maybe that points to something hopeful. “First Reformed” is ugly. It’s barren and wintry. I think about it often. It’s the best film I’ve seen this year.

A handful of podcasts to take with you to 2019 These podcasts can entertain you through work or distract you from school.

Raven Fawcett Managing Editor As 2019 begins, my hunt for new and interesting podcasts continues. After listening to hundreds of hours worth, I’ve got a fair few favorites. I’ll spare you the usual highlights in favor of my favorite, less popular podcasts that need some love. Here there be fantasy, Sci-Fi, true crime, fake crime, news and the paranormal for you to explore in the new year.

“Mabel” — A haunted house. Fey. Overwrought characters and family drama, this podcast is bold and boldly authentic.

A woman is nursing an old lady, but after her charge dies and she has left the house, things become odd. She cannot leave. She can only communicate with her patient’s granddaughter, who has been missing for years. The creators, Becca De La Rosa and Mabel Martin, have worked hard on the series. Transcripts are available on their website as well, which I’m a huge fan of. Heads up: there is a fair amount of volume change, from background music to screaming.

“The Penumbra Podcast” — I love Juno Steel more than Juno Steel loves himself, which is the standard episode format for the

in several respects. Two barrels were found in the woods containing several bodies in a time before modern DNA testing could easily identify them. This show covers the investigation and its subsequent impact on how investigators go about solving cases where the victims are unidentified. It is true crime, so be aware that it might not be for you. Even if you do like this genre, it’s still heartbreaking at times.

“Bombarded” — Nevermind, I’m back on my fantasy bullshit. This one is a Dungeons and Dragons podcast. I know, there are so many of them out there. Some are even funny! You either know that very well already or this is shocking you. Either way, hear me out. This one is an all-bard cast whose players are all in a band together.

They start out at level one and work their way up, and their real-life musical knowledge presents its own shenanigans and joys.

If you like music or bards, give this a listen.

If you hate DnD in general, this is probably not the podcast to win you over, as it’s more game-based than, say, “The Adventure Zone” (which you should totally listen to, but that’s stating the obvious here).

“The Magnus Archives” — Listen to the eldritch horrors you want to have in your life. Or something. “The Magnus Archives,” by the Rusty Quill, documents the tapes Head Archivist Jonathan Sims records, audio versions of old transcripts held by the Magnus Institute. The institute records and

“Nevermind, I’m back on my fantasy bullshit.

This one is a Dungeons and Dragons podcast.” majority of “The Penumbra Podcast.” The podcast has three major plotlines: Juno Steel is a private investigator on Mars in a classic crime noir story; in the Second Citadel timeline, unlikely adventurers deal with fantasy beasts and romantic shenanigans; and there is the odd horror or one-shot episode of other “guests” at the fictional Penumbra Hotel, which (as best as I can tell) exists somewhere outside of time and space. It’s made by another small podcasting team, and transcripts are also available on the website.

“Bear Brook” — I am more than a onetrick pony sometimes, and yes, I am capable of listening to more than just fantasy podcasts. New Hampshire Public Radio produces this podcast about a solved murder case from the ‘80s that remains incomplete

investigates paranormal happenings and unexplainable horrors. Some episodes are better than others, but you can’t expect all monsters to be badasses, I guess.

“Gal Pals Present: Overkill” — These ladies bury their gays, and then give them agency and adventure in the afterlife. It follows a murdered young lady and her adjustment to her death and her place among the ghosts that haunt the area that she dies in, as well as the hunt for her killer. It’s a comedy podcast with a wry sense of humor. It’s the perfect example of a show using a cliche (bury your gays) and making the premise empowering instead of depressing. It’s short, too — only six episodes long! — so you can binge it in a day or two. Gal Pals Present has a couple other podcasts as well,

courtesy Gal Pals Present

if you want more content after listening to “Overkill.”

“The Bright Sessions” — Consider: superheroes, but treated like people. The premise of “The Bright Sessions” is exactly that. Dr. Bright, a psychologist, records her sessions with atypicals, or people with powers that range from the expected (an empath who can pick up the moods of others, but struggles to distinguish his own emotions from others’) to the extreme (a time traveler who jumps back in time when she has a panic attack).

“Order 9066” — Order 9066 was the executive order signed by President Roosevelt following the attack on Pearl Harbor that called for the incarceration of people of Japanese descent in parts of the United States. “Order 9066,” a podcast from APM Reports, plays accounts of the people who were in the camps, as well as their descendants and the racism that motivated the order. If you’re interested in World War II or history, the podcast is a story by survivors and approached with empathy and a journalistic dedication to context and details. If you’re interested in other in-depth glimpses into controversial moments in American history, APM Reports also has podcasts centering on the presidential campaign of 1968, criminal cases and more.

“Homecoming” — Maybe this is too mainstream, but it’s still well worth a listen.

Oscar Isaac plays a soldier freshly returned from deployment and seeking help from the Homecoming Initiative, a program that

provides help to soldiers through therapy, though it has secrets of its own. Psychologist Heidi Bergman now works at a diner and doesn’t remember her time working at the Homecoming Initiative. The plot is good, but the performances are what knock it out of the park. By far one of the bestdelivered podcasts that I’ve heard in a long time.

“Post Reports” — Satisfy your curiosity and catch up on a bit of news by tuning into the “Post Reports” every now and then. It’s a daily podcast by the Washington Post that covers some of what they’re writing and major topics of the day. They’re pretty short, clocking in at just over 20 minutes each, so you can get a bit of knowledge in a bit of time without having to crack open a paper or facing WashPo’s dreaded paywall.

“Conversations with People Who Hate Me” — Dylan Marron does what we all wish we could do. He calls people who have left rude comments, usually on his YouTube videos, and asks them why they made those comments. Instead of getting angry, though, he listens. Sometimes, people have had a bad day. Other times they really do think that he’s done something wrong or disagree wholeheartedly. These are open conversations, and his ability to stay calm and emotionally present keeps the conversations on track. It’s a great exercise in empathy and reminding yourself that everyone has their own reasons for the way they act, even when they’ve done something they need to apologize for.

The Collegian: 10

Variety

21 January 2019

Ten albums I’ve listened to and loved this year

This is in no way a comprehensive list, becuase who has the time for that? Nevertheless, here are my favorites of 2018.

Emily Every Commentary Editor It’s 2019, which means it’s time to squash 2018 into listicles. I wasn’t quite able to listen to every album dropped last year, leaving me in a position of explicit non-authority on the best things of 2018. Taking that into consideration, the best I can do is share some of my favorite stuff from last year without trying to create any sort of gradation of quality; I just think all these releases are neat.

Parquet Courts — “Wide Awake!”

Dance-punk, classic rock, indie pop and folk are all represented on this release.

Through this diversity of sound and genre, Parquet Courts stays sharp as a knife lyrically, and the group usually keeps at least one foot in rock. Like the title “Wide Awake!” would imply, most tracks are wrapped around social commentary, but it never vears into being overwrought or preachy, so don’t worry about it (because I know some people will worry about it). Also, I really like the vocals off this album; they’re punk-sounding, rough and low and usually in the front of the mix, but they add a certain grounding to the album that I think works really nicely, especially in the slower tracks like “Before the Water Gets Too High.”

Highlights: “Before the Water Gets Too High,” “Total Football” and “Almost Had to Start a Fight” MGMT — “Little Dark Age” I know MGMT are mostly known for their debut album “Oracular Spectacular,” the track “Electric Feel” in particular, but I think their 2018 album is some of their best work, if not their best release period. The genre is synth pop proper, but all the tracks sound incredibly current. “TSLAMP” laments all the time Andrew VanWyngarden, one of the group’s two frontmen, spends looking at his phone, and “She Works Out Too Much” is a critique of dating-app culture disguised in the aesthetics of an ‘80s workout video. If this sounds like a lot, it’s because it is, but MGMT has the streamlined synth instrumentation to balance all these ideas out. The result is a super slick, super fun album. Super.

Highlights: “Little Dark Age,” “Me and Michael” and “She Works Out Too Much” Earl Sweatshirt — “Some Rap Songs” Chopped, screwed and textured, “Some Rap Songs” relies heavily on sampling, but that’s in no way to its detriment. The grit of the album, the way it sounds like a warbled vinyl, and the use of music and speech

sampling gives the album an innate sense of place and of inspiration. It’s like Earl Sweatshirt is laying out his frayed family photos on this release, which makes sense, considering that the rapper’s father, a poet from South Africa, passed away in early 2018.

Like on his 2015 release, “I Don’t Like Shit, I Don’t Go Outside,” the highlight of the album is Earl’s vulnerable and upfront verses discussing his depression and, unique to this release, his family history. It’s a lowkey, borderline-calming album to listen to, but the themes of loss and listlessness are constant. My one critique of the album is that it’s only 24 minutes long.

Highlights: “Shattered Dreams,” “Ontheway!” and “Nowhere2go” Robyn — “Honey” You know when people used to say “I’m crying in the club” to express any and all emotion? This is what you would put on if

courtesy MSMSMSM

your goal were to actually cry in the club.

Part confrontation of a dear friend’s death, part house music, part reestablishing of Robyn’s public persona and one whole excellent pop album, Robyn’s “Honey” is light, vulnerable and fiercely intelligent.

These tracks take a bit of time to really get in your head, but once they do, they’ll stay there on loop for months.

Highlights: “Between The Lines,” “Because It’s In The Music” and “Human Being” IDLES — “Joy as an Act of Resistance.”

Punk is in a weird place right now. There isn’t a lot of non-pop punk getting big, and what is released has to inevitably place itself somewhere in the current political spectrum, as is the tradition and (at least to me) ultimate point of punk music. The difficulty with political music in 2018 is its sheer saturation: no one’s happy, regardless of affiliation, and we as consumers all have to hear about it all the time, constantly. And while

Special Collections exhibit thoughtful and provocative Special Collections hosts exhibition of non-conventional books.

Piper Prolago Student Writer Between January 22 and March 22, the Special Collections and University Archives housed in McFarlin Library is hosting an exhibition of artist’s books. Located on the fifth floor of the library, these four cases of various books are open to the public on weekdays from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

Throughout these displays, 24 artists have contributed their own interpretations of this theme.

This exhibition hinges on the basic question of what defines a book. Generally, books have similar qualities: they are interactive and portable with the intent to share knowledge with the reader. The model of a book as known today presents problems with dis-

Several entries embody the idea that pushing the limits of form allows further depth in meaning. One of my favorite pieces was titled “Vorkuta Poems 1947-1954” by Louise McCagg with poems by Sara Karig.

This piece featured a sculpted face with a bound book of poetry protruding from the head. After the poet was sent to a labor camp in Communist Hungary, she was unable to keep physical copies of her poetry. Instead, during this time, she would write them and memorize them before burning any traces of her poems before guards could search her.

In this instance, the form of the combined sculpture with text relayed this storyline in a significantly more emotionally visceral manner.

One of the texts that drew more directly on the traditional model of a book was Gaza Bowen’s “Red Shoe Reader.” This piece appears as accordion-folded pages of text

“... [T]he intent of this collection is to challenge what defines a book.” play, however. Readers cannot interact with books when they are in display cases. With this in mind, the intent of this collection is to challenge what defines a book. Contributing artists ask questions of whether the physical construction, like a spine or pages, or even narrative qualities, like words or storylines, define a book.

The idea of artist’s books arose in the late 20th century in correlation with avantegarde movements like Dadaism, Constructivism, Futurism and Fluxus. The first example historians point to as an artist’s book is seen in William Blake’s self-published “Songs of Innocence and Experience.” At this point in history, artists had increased access to technology that allowed them to pursue the creation of artist’s books with control over production and distribution. Since that time, artists have continued to explore the malleable form of artist’s books.

I’m cognizant and appreciative of the importance of art as a vehicle for advocacy, it has to be done well. This is a punk album that I think does it well (with the major exception of a horrible “Harry Potter” reference toward its tail end, which I understand the purpose of, but boy, do I still hate listening to a British man yell, “Ten points for Gryffindor”). IDLES has quick lyrics and even quicker, louder riffs, keeping its audience engaged for the duration of this excellent punk album.

Highlights: “Love Song,” “Samaritans” and “Colossus” Open Mike Eagle — “What Happens When I Try to Relax” This is it, the one EP on the list. These six tracks are such earworms that when OME dropped the collection, it was basically all I listened to for a solid two weeks. So it seemed disingenuous to talk about music

that are bookended with stiletto heels. The choice to use heels in this sculptural representation is a reference to foot binding that is outlined in the text on the pages. Bowen aims to comment on way that fashion plays into the cultural perceptions of women. She challenges viewers to consider and the relationship between sexuality and a woman’s image.

A final innovative example of interpretation in this collection was Ursula K. Le Guin’s “Direction of the Road.” This piece features a distorted letterpress printed image. A tube mirror is placed in the center of the page, reflecting a clarified picture of a man sitting under a large tree. Le Guin intended to challenge viewers to take a more active role in understanding her creation.

They must use the mirror to transform the abstract work on paper into something comprehensible.

I loved in 2018 and not include “What Happens When I Try to Relax,” the art-rapper’s first release since going independent. The EP is a meditation on creating art, fatherhood and the general anxieties of the modern age… you know, light stuff. Anyway, the EP has an incredible sense of rhythm and flow, and OME’s beats are as unique as ever, though a bit airier than some of what you’d hear on his last studio album.

Highlights: “Single Ghosts,” “Relatable (Peak OME)” and “Southside Eagle” Death Grips — “Year of the Snitch” This is a weird one. I’m not even sure that I like the group, but this was an album I kept coming back to time and time again.

For the uninitiated, Death Grips is an experimental noise rap group whose 2011 debut had huge critical success. The group is most interested in intensity of both production and of vocal delivery, it seems. The sheer amount of energy the album exudes is really fun, if that’s the thing you’re into. I guess if you like being yelled at, noise music and

Death Grips, then you’ll like this Death Grips album.

Highlights: “Death Grips is Online,” “Streaky” and “Hahaha” Ezra Furman — “Transangelic Exodus” This is my most sentimental inclusion.

Ezra Furman is one of those artists I just feel like I know, you know? I haven’t been listening to his stuff for the longest time, but there’s this great sense of vulnerability in his work that really draws me in. This release is a concept album about falling in love with an angel while on a transnational roadtrip to escape the cops, and it’s equally as whimsical and melancholy as it sounds like it would be. On multiple tracks, Furman alludes to his Jewishness and non-binaryness and how those identities has shaped his life experiences. (Don’t worry, he uses he/him pronouns. I checked.) The middle section of the album that’s a little bit darker tonally and more musically experimental has the strongest set of tracks, in my opinion.

Highlights: “Maraschino-Red Dress $8.99 at Goodwill,” “Psalm 151” and “Come Here Get Away From Me” cupcakKe — “Ephorize” CupcakKe is stupid fun to listen to, which was probably why I found myself coming back to this album so often after my (admittedly pretty recent) first listen. Pitchfork calls it “porny,” which is just about as funny as it is true, but cupcakKe has more than just sex-centric bars on this collection.

She tackles self-image and LGBTQ issues throughout the album, most notably on the track “Crayons.” The beats throughout are well-produced and give as much energy as cupcakKe herself, and I’m hard pressed to think of a tighter album released this year.

Highlights: “Post Pic,” “Exit” and “Duck Duck Goose” SOPHIE — “OIL OF EVERY PEARL’S UN-INSIDES” This album is all I’ve talked about for the last six months, and I should probably apologize to my roommates for never, ever shutting up about SOPHIE. The Scottish hyperkinetic experimental pop DJ dropped this album in June, and I said it would be my album of the year maybe three weeks later.

It’s as metallic-sounding on tracks like “Ponyboy” as it is lush and vulnerable on tracks like “It’s Okay to Cry.” I’ve compared it to Kate Bush’s “Hounds of Love” in its huge sense of scale and beauty, and I’m going to keep doing that until I’m proven wrong (which won’t happen). If you like experimental music, you owe it yourself to give this album a listen.

Highlights: “Ponyboy,” “Is It Cold In The Water?” and “Whole New World

courtesy Brad Heath

2018 music mentions Here are a few albums that came out this year that deserve some love.

Heber Hurd Student Writer One thing I’ve always enjoyed is discovering new music. Yeah, there are old favorites in my collection, but I have those favorites because I’m open to listening to artists and genres I haven’t experience before. I’ve listed a few honorable mentions from various genres of 2018 releases.

From the electronic scene, VNV Nation out of Germany released “Noire,” their 10th studio album, which contained equal parts haunting lyrics (“A Million”) and upbeat industrial/EDM undertones (“Where is the Future?”). Next up is something nobody expected from Canadian DJ Deadmau5 but is surprisingly enjoyable: an orchestral composition called “Where’s the Drop?” Even the title tells us it’s not his typical bass dropping sound.

Moving on to the pop scene, Twenty One Pilots gave us “Trench” with its blend of hip hop and electro-indie pop boasting such tracks as “Jumpsuit” and “Chlorine.” Panic! at the Disco released “Pray for the Wicked.”

With its party-like sounds blending electropop and psychedelic tones, tracks like “Say Amen (Saturday Night)” and “Roaring 20s” make you want to get up and dance.

From the noisier side of life, Unearth, a melodic metalcore act out of Boston, released the simpler (though neither kinder nor gentler) “Extinction(s)” four years after their last release, “Watchers of the Rule.”

The group gives us heavy riffs and blister-

ing leads on their seven-string guitars with a switch between metalcore growls and melodic vocals. Suicidal Tendencies released its 13th album, “STill Cyco Punk After All These Years” alongside the “Get Your Fight On” EP. STill Cyco is a new recording of a solo project, “Lost My Brain (Once Again)!” by vocalist Mike Muir, under his solo name, Cyko Miko. “Get Your Fight On” contains some previously unrecorded and reworked material. Both are reminiscent of ST’s roots in Southern California skatepunk thrash.

Finally, my favorite of 2018, Machine Head’s “Catharsis.” Their Oakland 1990s formation was influenced by the likes of Slayer, Suicidal Tendencies and Pantera and has culminated in their ninth studio album.

It displays a mix of clean and death growl vocals beginning with opening track “Volatile,” written and recorded the day following the Charlottesville massacre.

My favorite track, “Bastards,” was written as a folk song and has become the focal point of the album. Vocalist Robb Flynn stated in an interview with Blabbermouth. net that he wrote the poem following a difficult conversation he and his wife had with their two sons after the Trump election. The entire album is a poetic reflection on political tyrannies and social injustices and is a must for any metal head or anyone who is pissed off about our political and social climate. In the words of Robb Flynn, be bold be strange and turn off your radio, explore artists similar to those you enjoy in whatever music service you subscribe to or try something entirely new. You might surprise yourself.

21 January 2019

Variety

The Collegian: 11

Best books of 2018 to read for fun

A year in review of some of the finest books from 2018.

Hana Saad Student Writer “Circe” by Madeline Miller: You couldn’t walk through a bookstore without seeing this reimagining of the tale of Circe, a Greek sorceress, famous for her shapeshifting powers that almost trapped Odysseus and his crew on her island forever.

But this book is all about Circe, the challenges she faces as a woman and powerful witch from both mortals and gods and her struggle to decide which side she will support.

“There There” by Tommy Orange: This debut novel is a multigenerational tale that juggles 12 characters and their complex lives as they navigate a world that is both beautiful and terrible. Each character’s story unfolds a little more with each page, revealing their sometimes painful histories and deepest desires. The writing is powerful and evocative; Orange has created a book that you won’t want to miss out on.

“The Friend” by Sigrid Nunez: Winner of the 2018 National Book Award, this novel is a story about a woman and the dog she becomes obsessed with as she spirals further into her grief after losing her best friend. From the very first page, this is a powerful read. The reflections from the main character (who remains unnamed) are filled with a tangled web of emotions that leaves a lasting impact on the reader.

“The Hate U Give” by Angie Thomas: One of the most successful young adult books released in 2017, The Hate U Give is a story that readers of all ages flocked to,

especially after the movie was released in October. After Starr Carter’s best friend, Khalil, was fatally shot by a police officer, she has to learn how to find her voice in a world that doesn’t want to hear her side of the story. What makes this book special are the characters and family that Thomas created. The reader is pulled into their world and truly feels the anger, sadness and joy that Starr and her family go through.

“A Very Large Expanse of Sea” by Tahereh Mafi: This is Mafi’s first contemporary novel, and she does not disappoint. Over the years, her writing has strengthened and all of her prowess shines in this story. Mafi draws partly from her own experiences to tell Shirin’s story. Shirin is the daughter of Iranian immigrants and has chosen to wear a hijab.

But in the aftermath of 9/11, people at her school and in public are not afraid to be openly racist and threatening to her. Shirin has to navigate a relationship that almost tears her school apart, loving (but clueless) parents and her own faults in this wonderful, fast-paced novel.

“Children of Blood and Bone” by Tomi Adeyemi: This is the first book in Adeyemi’s debut fantasy series, which has already amassed thousands of dedicated fans from all over the world. The writing is full of energy and the story never once loses the attention of its reader. The characters themselves are what make this story special, along with the magic system and wondrous beasts that aid the characters in their journey to save magic.

“The Sun and Her Flowers” by Rupi Kaur: In just four years, Kaur’s readership

Sigrid Nunez’s “The Friend” heavily features a great dane.

courtesy WBUR

has grown tremendously. She is especially popular among young adults, who flock to her poems in droves, buying her books and sharing her words via social media. Both of her published collections of poetry have been #1 New York Times Bestsellers. No matter your stance on Internet poetry, it is undeniable that Kaur and her words are a force to be reckoned with and respected.

“The Carrying” by Ada Limón: Featuring 62 poems split into three parts, this collection is one that prompts contemplation. Limón often draws upon elements of nature in her poetry — plants, the land and animals — to create a poignant atmosphere that draws the reader in. Many of the poems express the tangle of emotions peo-

ple experience as they grow older and have to face loss.

“The Poet X” by Elizabeth Acevedo: This moving story, told through poetry, is the winner of the 2018 National Book Award for Young People’s Literature. That comes as no surprise, as Acevedo is already an accomplished slam poet. Her debut novel tells the story of Xiomara, who feels out of place in her Harlem neighborhood as she struggles to find a way to express her thoughts. Each line of poetry within this story is deeply emotional and will enthrall even readers who don’t like poetry.

One of the foundational things he did was to define a professional writer. Although there are a lot of writers out there, not all of them are professionals.

He defined a professional writer as “one who makes money from their writing.”

Continuing in the discussion, he raised point that because there is so much free media consumed online, it has become harder

mation and use it to make whatever point they want. But that is not ethical journalism. Reporting truth is taking the facts and reporting what happened and what it means for the reader or viewer. He continued about finding news sources you trust — ones that don’t just spin facts to their own viewpoint but tell what happened and what it means.

He also discussed professional writing as not being for the faint of heart. It’s not an easy profession.

“If there are other jobs that you are considering that will make you happy,” he said, “then you should do those because it will make for an easier and happier life.”

On the flip side, he said, “Writing is rewarding if it’s in your blood.” Being a writer is incredibly meaningful, and being a writer has given Halberstadt purpose and is a privilege.

Overall, Halberstadt’s chat was encouraging and relaxing, he didn’t hold back and he gave good, rounded answers about what it is like to be a professional writer.

Prolific journalist Alex Halberstadt visits TU

Halberstadt discussed his memoir and how to be a professional writer in his talks on campus.

Lizzy Young Student Writer

Memoirest and journalist Alex Halberstadt came to TU last week. On Thursday night, he gave a reading of his upcoming memoir “Young Heroes of the Soviet Union.” He also participated in an informal Q&A on Friday about becoming a professional writer. His reading was open to the public, but the workshop was exclusively for TU graduate and undergraduate students.

Halberstadt is an accomplished author.

His first book is titled “Lonely Avenue: The Unlikely Life and Times of Doc Pomus.”

His work has also appeared in many publications, including The New York Times Magazine and The Paris Review. He is a professor and teaches at NYU’s Gallatin School for Individualized Study and Eugene Lang College.

The workshop he led about becoming a professional writer had a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. It began with his introduction by Dr. Jeff Drouin, an English professor at TU and friend of Halberstadt. After quick opening remarks, Halberstadt opened the floor to questions, saying he would be open to discussing anything students were interested in.

“He also discussed professional writing as not being for the faint of heart. It’s not an easy profession.”

The topics that students raised covered a range of subjects including publishing, balancing writing with life and MFA programs.

All of Halberstadt’s answers to questions were honest, open and thorough. He seemed to really care about students and wanted to help in any way he could. He had a broad perspective since he is a creative nonfiction writer as well as a journalist, so his answers were informed by his varied experiences.

and harder to make a living as a professional writer.

One of the most interesting topics raised by a student was about facts versus opinion in the news. Halberstadt talked about how journalism has a rigorous set of ethics, which basically outline that journalists’ allegiance should be to truth and not facts.

In essence, he was saying facts are just information. A news source can take infor-

Miguel Aragon exhibit highlights toll of drug violence

The Mexican artist’s exhibition tackles the impact of drug violence in his home town of Juarez.

Piper Prolago Student Writer The Alexandre Hogue Gallery will host an exhibition of works by Mexican artist Miguel A. Aragon. Aragon’s works explore the repercussions of violence resulting from the narcotics trade in his hometown of Juarez, Mexico. Although he studied in Texas, received his graduate degree from the University of Texas at Austin and works as an Assistant Professor in Printmaking at the College of Staten Island, Aragon continues to visit his family in Juarez frequently.

A city situated right by the border between Mexico and the United States, Juarez is particularly affected by the drug trade.

The city and its people experienced an enormous spike in violence after Felipe Calderon, former president of Mexico, declared

through his art. While working toward his MFA, he found a laser engraver in the architecture department that he decided was the first medium he would use to capture this.

He used the machine to engrave the images he had collected in newspapers onto cardboard and then cut out pieces by hand.

Taking inspiration from artists like Francisco de Goya and Otto Dix, Aragon explored these images in a way that embodied his experiences. These artists, Aragon described, were able to capture “how rough and how insensitive humans can actually be.”

Aragon’s own works reflect the inhumanity that is revealed through the violence in Juarez. He chose to manipulate the newspaper photos by stripping them down and making them more abstract to capture the qualities he admires in portfolios like Goya’s “Disasters of War.” In the exhibition displayed in the Hogue Gallery, Aragon further explores his experi-

“Layering several sheets of paper, Aragon painstakingly uses a hand drill to create these portraits.” an official war on drugs. During this time, Aragon collected newspaper clippings with visceral images of the citizens killed in the war.

Aragon described being greatly affected by his town’s location on the border. His parents raised him and his brother to understand the languages and cultures of both countries. This has become an integral part of Aragon’s identity, describing himself as a “hybrid of both, but lacking parts of both,” feeling neither completely American nor completely Mexican.

Throughout his time in school, Aragon constantly wrestled with how best to deal with the topic of violence in his hometown

ences in Juarez. Each piece was created with the same inspiration in mind: the idea that the violence that comes from the narcotics trade, and the consequent war on drugs is decimating an entire generation of people in the city. Aragon channeled this idea by drilling small holes that trace images of victims of the brutality.

Layering several sheets of paper, Aragon painstakingly uses a hand drill to create these portraits. Echoing the image of bullet holes, these figures are simultaneously created and destroyed by using this repeated technique. As he drills through several layers of black and white paper, several copies of each portrait are rendered. These various

Aragon’s work turns images of bodies from drug-related violence into art.

layers, Aragon explains, represent the layers of our bodies: white paper acts as the bones, for example.

Aragon uses the resulting layers to further investigate his themes. Some of the end products exhibited were created using drilled pages as stencils for copper paint.

The use of copper tone enamel to create the silhouettes references an idiomatic expression in Mexico, “estas enseñando el cobre,” which literally translates to “you’re showing your copper.” The phrase is intended to mean that someone is showing their true colors. This reference begins to raise questions of identity in the figures depicted.

The concept of identity, though, is intentionally insignificant in these works. Although it is noted that the people in these pieces are victims of violence in Juarez, Aragon intentionally withholds how they are related to this violence. Rather than specifying whether these people are part of

photo by Piper Prolago

the cartel, a policeman or an innocent bystander. Instead, Aragon teaches viewers that “it isn’t our place to judge.”

Regardless of their role in this war, everyone is significant to someone. By keeping anonymity, Aragon is able to apply his art to a more people and situations. Rather than narrowing the theme of violence and destruction of humanity, Aragon says that “through the individual, we can talk about the universal.”

Vestigios de la Narcoviolencia is not only immediately emotive, but the background of each piece reveals layers of meaning. Understanding the process and intentions of the artist allows viewers to connect with the images beyond the aesthetics.The depth of thought enacted through the process of creation makes this exhibition simultaneously subtle and profound.

The Collegian: 12

Commentary

21 January 2019

The Legislative Digest is your weekly look at the happenings of Oklahoma’s state legislature and the bills and politics you need to know.

Raven Fawcett Managing Editor According to the Oklahoma House of Representatives, the House has finished filing its bills for the upcoming legislative session with a total of 1,733 House Bills (HBs). The Senate, meanwhile, filed 1040 Senate Bills (SBs). Together, the Senate and House filed 21 joint resolutions.

Joint resolutions “express the will, wish or direction” of both chambers, according to the Oklahoma state legislature. Each chamber files their own, although the content is the same at the beginning for both. Simple enough? Let’s look at a couple bills that are coming through the pipeline for this legislative session: SB253: Senator Young (D) moved from his position as a Representative to a Senator this year. He authored SB253, which requires some legislation to have a racial impact statement made. Legislators will have to submit the statement when submitting bills that create new offenses, “significantly” change offenses or change the penalty or “sentencing, parole, or probation procedures” for an offense.

When a bill is revised, a revised racial impact statement would also be required. SB253 is a great way to make legislators (predominantly white legislators, especially in Oklahoma, it bears noting) reflect on the racial impact of the legislation they’re trying to pass. It’s also got some great mechanisms for finding out the racial impact and weighing out acceptable consequences.

HB1269: This bill makes State Question 780 retroactive. SQ780 made the possession of some drugs misdemeanors instead of felonies, which reduces the amount of time people would be imprisoned if convicted. Essentially, people convicted of felonies that would have been misdemeanors if it had occurred after the implementation of SQ780 would be able to appeal their sentences. New sentences would not result in longer incarceration and the time already served would count toward their new sentence.

Most interestingly, the bill was authored by Representatives Dunnington, a Democrat, and Echols, a Republican. Bipartisanship isn’t uncommon in a state legislature, but it is surprising to see a bill that lightens sentences authored by both sides of the aisle. But I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. The bill lets people serve less time for a nonviolent crime, which would make our justice system that much more compassionate.

SB811: Authored by Senator Smalley (R), SB811 amends recent marijuana legislation. It would exempt “biomedical and clinical research [on marijuana], which is subject to federal regulations and institutional oversight,” from State Department of Health oversight. That makes a certain amount of sense — it would free up budgets and time. The bill also cleans up some language and adds other parts.

For example, it changes the wording on an article that makes it illegal for schools and landlords to “penalize” a person because they are a “medical marijuana license holder,” unless, of course, doing so would cause the employer to lose money or have other problems caused by the move. The updated language adds that the employer can penalize the medical marijuana license holder if working with them has the “potential” to cost the company. This would give employers some breathing room to weigh the benefits and costs of making allowances for medical marijuana users, but in the end, it should be assumed that medical marijuana users have a medical reason for their medicine. Regardless of the outcome, it’s an interesting insight into how marijuana laws will continue to develop and adapt in response to its legalization in 2018.

Government shutdown signals progressive Democratic policies

The government shutdown has hurt the country for a budgetary change that won’t be accepted by the Democratic party.

Andrew Noland Student Writer As of this writing, the shutdown of the American government has reached its 29th day. 800,000 federal workers have not received a paycheck and will not receive back pay until Speaker Nancy Pelosi and President Donald Trump come to an agreement on the budget.

The source of the shutdown stems from Trump’s demand to include $5 billion to a wall on the Mexican border. Although Republicans and Democrats agreed to a budget proposal before the shutdown, Trump vetoed the bipartisan resolution, arguing that building his wall will alleviate the threat Latino migration poses to national security.

Democrats refuse to indulge the president’s demands, citing the wall’s ineffectiveness and contending that adding more immigration judges and hiring more agents would prove far more effective in handling the humanitarian crisis.

On Saturday, Trump, in a televised address, offered to extend DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals), a key com-

ponent to the Democratic platform, in exchange for the $5 billion for “steel slats” in “vulnerable positions” along the border.

Pelosi, before Trump even made the announcement, outright rejected the deal, instead unveiling a new proposal that will be introduced to the House floor next week with the intention of adding $500 million for border security (although no funding for a wall).

The harm to the United States that the shutdown could produce will prove astronomical. The nation has been left without workers in positions that protect national parks, airports and other federal jurisdictions. The CEO of JP Morgan Chase has warned that the United States may have already lost an entire financial quarter of GDP growth.

like civil rights protections, work programs and regulations on unchecked corporate greed. The idea of a shutdown fit neatly into his ideology: shutting down the government proved that the beloved America of his imagination did not require an overreaching national apparatus.

But 20 years later, this strategy is crumbling around the Republican party. Over 50 percent of Americans blame Trump and the Republicans for the shutdown in polls from CNN, Quinnipiac, 538 and NBC. While calculating initially that public opinion would eventually turn against the left, Republicans are confronting the fact that it simply has not. Instead, Trump’s numbers are cracking among even his fanatical base, and his rhetoric that the “crisis at the border” has turned into a national emergency has convinced no

“Republicans have failed to realize that congressional Democrats will never concede on the wall.”

Shutdowns as a political tool have emerged as a recent phenomenon, finding its roots in Speaker Newt Gingrich’s desire to stifle President Bill Clinton’s agenda during the 1990s. The tactic served to establish a firm ideological divide between the two parties and cement his political power. Since then, the tactic of shutting down the government has loomed over the American legislative process.

A discussion on the merits of whether the shutdown should be a political tool is subservient to a greater idea that Gingrich sought to expunge from the American political tradition: the idea of government as a force for good. A student of Reaganomics and neoliberal governance, Gingrich fundamentally opposed a large federal government, believing it to be the source of pesky little things

one. Simply put, the Democrats, in control of the House and now armed with a Republican Senate that is willing to reopen the government without wall funding, wield all the leverage.

Although Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell refuses to let the legislation reach the floor, Democrats still recognize that, as this battle slogs onward, the Republicans lose more and more ground. In addition, Republicans have failed to realize that congressional Democrats will never concede on the wall. Democrats, if they want to take back the White House in 2020, can never allow Trump’s most notorious campaign promise to come to fruition. The implication of the wall infringes on a new Democratic Party that values race and inclusivity as a vital part of its platform.

DACA, Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, has been offered an extension by President Trump in exchange for strengthening the wall along certain areas.

However, what we must understand about this shutdown is the desperation stemming from the Trump White House. Being pressed in by the Mueller investigation, alarmingly fast staff turnover and a new Democratic House, Trump is attempting to draw his last card.

Pelosi recognizes this situation, because she played out a similar scenario in 2006 with President Bush. Refusing to admit that Social Security was in crisis during Bush’s attempts to reform the national program, then-Minority Leader Pelosi denied Bush’s claims and watched as the Republicans crumbled. The Democrats swung back the House, and she became the first female Speaker in history.

In the 2019 rendition, Pelosi has again not allowed the discussion to shift to an emergency. Instead, she has appeared calculating, calm and the sole voice of reason in the chaos that has engulfed Washington. By delaying the State of the Union on security reasons, Speaker Pelosi publicly humiliated Trump. Attempting to win any sense of machismo back, Trump revealed her Middle East trip’s itinerary (a visit to troops still stationed in Afghanistan) and, instead of returning the favor, the move has been taken as both petty and even a potential threat on her life. Trump is left to crawl off the hill he thought he could die on, but Pelosi is proving that she will and can leave Trump’s credibility in rubble when he is forced to surrender.

But this signals a greater shift in politics.

The Democratic Party appears to have adopted a progressive position on immigration and a powerful Speaker has returned to the helm. As an opposition party, the Democrats are succeeding in forcing the Republicans to bend on the most contentious issue in 21st century politics. It’s left now to see how long Trump’s tantrum will last.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

21 January 2019

Commentary

The Collegian: 13

Consumption of fake news on social media related to age of user A recent study posted in the journal Scientific Advances followed the posting habits of 2,711 people on Facebook during the 2016 election. It was found that when accounting for demographic factors as well as posting habits, senior citizens over 65 were seven times more likely to share fake news than their 18 to 29 year-old counterparts.

They were twice as likely as people aged 45 to 64 and more than three times as likely as those aged 30 to 44.

Digital literacy in the internet age is essential to discerning the accuracy of online media.

Nathan Hinkle Student Writer The distribution of fake news is a massive and relatively new issue due to the interconnected nature of our modern society.

Through the use of social media and online tools such as Facebook, people have the ability to both spread verifiably false information and more readily accept fake news.

While this is a problem facing a large majority of internet users, the main people responsible are those over the age of 65.

that they lack the same digital literacy as their younger peers. The growth of the internet has created a new source of research for students across the globe irrespective of their language or geography.

Due to the internet’s rise as a primary jumping-off point for scholarly information for many new students, these young adults are consistently taught in their classes that not all sources on the internet are useful or factually accurate. Some sources are not

“Senior citizens... lack the same digital literacy as their younger peers.”

It was also found that this relationship of age and the spreading of fake news does not heavily depend on the users’ political party or belief system. Some may argue that younger people are less likely to share fake news due to not using social media as a way to showcase political opinion. This could mean that they either care less about politics or their political beliefs are not as set in stone as their elders.

However, I would argue that the real reason behind senior citizens and fake news is

useful for academic work and lack credibility due to a series of flaws. In addition to these general principles taught in most English and history classes, a new type of concept has also been growing in schools across the United States: digital literacy.

The New York Department of Education describes digital literacy as “having the knowledge and ability to use a wide range of technology tools for varied purposes.” In addition, digitally literate people are those who “can use technology strategically to

find and evaluate information, connect and collaborate with others, produce and share original content and use the internet and technology tools to achieve many academic, professional and personal goals.” Through this form of education, adolescents and young adults are hopefully better equipped to handle stories that are fake or news headlines that are purposefully or accidently misleading.

However, those in older age demographics, especially senior citizens, lack these capabilities. For some, it has been around 40-50 years since they were in school or had any formal education. They are therefore less equipped to spot and more likely to post fake information. In an attempt to fix this problem, adult education classes are currently available in limited availability to teach these necessary skills. Through the advancement and further proliferation of such classes, we can help reduce the amount of fake news spread on the internet.

Fake news is a big problem on the internet due to its consumption replacing that from legitimate news outlets. To have rational and truthful discourse on the internet, we must all be prepared to seek the truth and not have our personal beliefs get us to believe things that are not true.

courtesy Tulsa World

Propensity to share fake news is directly related to age.

Stitt’s cabinent appointments overly business-centric

Governor Stitt’s cabinent, composed mostly of corporate figures, will put tension between business and public interests.

Andrew Noland Student Writer This past Thursday, Kevin Stitt met with his cabinet for the first time after being sworn into the governor’s office. Stitt will appoint 15 members of his cabinet and, thus far, he appears to be fulfilling his campaign promise of bringing his business acumen into government.

So far, the governor has 10 appointees, including Lt. Governor Matt Pinnell, who is now in charge of tourism and branding.

for office has gained massive popularity among Republicans.

Selling himself as a leader who will “bring a business mind to government,” Stitt is nothing more than the latest rich white male to head another state’s government. The issue that remains for Stitt, as every business leader has encountered when entering politics, is that a business model does not translate into political power. At the heart of political power is bargaining, not command.

President Trump is encountering the same issue transitioning from employees carrying out his directives unquestioningly to struggling with members of co-equal branches both on the same and opposite sides of the political aisle.

Governor Stitt believes he is assembling a group of corporate allies that will find the best ways to profit from his time in office.

However, Stitt might find himself also competing against those people as rivals. All will use their various departments to deregulate restrictions on their own industries, lower taxes and stifle enforcement, but this is not unusual for neoliberal governance. However, they will struggle with public concerns as most have little to no political experience and running government agencies.

“The issue that remains for Stitt... is that a business model does not translate into political power.”

Sean Kouplen, CEO of Regent Bank in Tulsa, has been nominated Secretary of Commerce and Work Development, reflecting Stitt’s desire to appoint his closest friends onto his cabinet. Per NewsOK, Kouplen has already noted that the environment of the administration functions as a business boardroom with each secretary acting “like CEOs” and “developing very specific metrics” to measure success.

While dismantling a political structure contingent on the idea of democratic governance and replacing it with a corporate hierarchy sounds like an effective strategy, it fundamentally misrepresents how government works. After encountering severe setbacks in the 1970s, corporations abandoned the long-held doctrine of a separation between business and politics. Starting with Ronald Reagan and his sweeping deregulations, the idea of business leaders running

The key is that Stitt will face public pressure to deal with political issues confronting Oklahoma while his cabinet concentrates on increasing their commercial prospects.

When these interests collide, Stitt will have to balance his friends’ bottom line with public concerns.

We could ask how this differentiates Stitt’s dilemma and what Oklahomans faced with Mary Fallin. The primary problem with Fallin was that she was inherently incompetent; unable to control events and her own cabinet members, she found herself stumbling into controversy after controversy.

Stitt, on the other hand, will always choose what benefits himself, and this makes him far more dangerous. Regardless, his cabinet should not surprise any of us. These executives-turned-politicians merely reflect the governor’s ultimate end for Oklahoma: turning the state into an exploitable resource for corporations.

courtesy NewsOK Lt. Governor Matt Pinnell has been quoted saying he views his position as a “sales and marketing job.”

The Collegian: 14

Commentary

21 January 2019

Intelligence shouldn’t define worth, despite racist claims

James Watson’s belief that race and IQ are correlated is rooted in racism, but the connection between genetics and intelligence is up for debate.

Justin Guglielmetti Editor-in-Chief It appears James Watson is a racist. If you’re like me, you have no idea who that is off the top of your head, so you’re probably wondering why we should devote any space to a single lowlife in a sea of bigots.

Well, for a start, Watson is actually a pretty significant person, one half of the famed “Watson and Crick” duo that discovered the double-helix structure of DNA in the 1950s and spawned the modern field of molecular biology.

But more interesting than that to me, and the entire impetus for writing about him in the first place, is the type of racist comments that Watson made. Specifically, what those comments and their public reaction have to say about the relationship between intelligence and the inherent dignity of a human being.

Let’s begin by looking at what exactly Watson said that is causing such an uproar.

In a PBS documentary that aired on Jan. 2, Watson revealed that he believes genetics cause a difference between white and black people’s scores on IQ tests. This was in line with past comments made by Watson, including being “inherently gloomy about the

prospects of Africa,” because “all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours, whereas all the testing says not really.”

Although his racist inclinations have been well known for decades, Watson’s beliefs are only now causing a popular outcry and have seen him stripped of honors previously bestowed upon him by the Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory (CSHL), which he directed for 25 years.

The condemnation has been swift and predictable, with news outlets quoting CSHL’s statement that it “unequivocally rejects the unsubstantiated and reckless personal opinions Dr. James D. Watson expressed,” and critics are wondering how such an intelligent man could hold such obviously false views. Of course, the unpopular answer to that last bit is that though Watson is oversimplifying the issue and almost certainly coming from a position of prejudice, he is not wrong in pointing out observed differences in cognitive ability across socially defined racial constructs.

Richard Herrnstein and Charles Murray are often credited with reigniting the modern debate concerning race and intelligence with their controversial 1994 book “The Bell Curve,” and in subsequent decades, there is still nothing resembling a consensus in the scientific community. In 2005, J. Philippe Rushton and Arthur R. Jensen published a study titled “Thirty Years of Research on Race Differences by Cognitive Ability,” which identified a black-white median IQ difference of up to 1.1 standard deviations.

Stories of American universities raising the standard for students of East Asian descent in order to achieve other racial quotas have been of public interest for years. Ashkenazi Jews have famously high median IQ scores, a possible explanation for their vastly disproportionate representation amongst positions of academic prestige, including recipients of awards such as the Fields Medal and Nobel Prize.

Is it racist to point out these facts? Presented without context, and understanding that these are broad generalizations across ill-defined boundaries, I would say no, which also makes Watson’s most vilified comment a rather curious one. Though it reeks of condescension and Eurocentrism, there doesn’t seem to be anything inherently racist about pointing out that the same social policies may not succeed in every country or culture.

lectual differences in the same way that we largely believe in certain biological ones.

Men, on average, are stronger than women, and people of East African descent achieve disproportionate success in long-distance running, while those of West African descent dominate in sports prizing sprinting and jumping. These things are self-evident, and so too could be the fact that some groups on average perform better in a certain type of intellectual capacity. This is

“Intelligence is just another facet of a person unique to every individual...”

Rather, we can be sure of Watson’s bigotry from other, related statements (“people who have had to deal with Black employees find [that they are not as intelligent]”) and the fact that he seems unwilling to acknowledge the uncertainty surrounding the position of which he has remained so adamantly in favor.

Going beyond his obvious lack of appreciation for how generalized the differences in IQ are (to the point that interacting with individuals like “employees” should offer no indication as to the average intelligence of the whole), Watson cannot seem to recognize that no respected study has ever attributed intelligence 100 percent to one’s genetics, or that broad racial categorizations such as “white,” “black” and “Asian” are largely arbitrary and ever evolving.

But again, pointing out the inconclusivity of the science and recognizing Watson’s thinly-veiled prejudice does not by itself disprove the spirit of the claim that genetics play a role in intelligence and that those genetics vary in observable patterns across the human race. Nor should they, as I believe everyone should be prepared to one day accept the absolute reality of generalized intel-

The 1962 Nobel Prize ceremony in Stockholm gave James Watson his Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine and launched him to scientific fame.

not racist. What we do with that knowledge defines our bigotry or lack thereof.

If you believe that the worth of a person is tied inherently to how smart they are, then you might just be a terrible human being.

It’s as simple as that. Albert Einstein does not belong to a higher plane of humanity than high-school dropouts working for minimum wage just because their IQs are vastly different.

Intelligence is just another facet of a person unique to every individual, and though it can qualify you for different avenues in life, it should no more define your basic dignity than your skin color, sex, height, weight or any other attribute. And this is the logical problem one falls into if one tries to argue that differences in intelligence can’t be true “because that’s what racists believe.” What do you do if somebody is one day able to prove a conclusive genetic link between what we call race and intelligence? Throw up your hands and admit that the racists were right the whole time? Of course not!

The argument must be discounted for its own sake. Your intellect is just something you have, it’s not who you are.

courtesy Academy of Achievement

Lowest birth rates in the nation in last 30 years indicative of global changes

Changing attitudes toward women’s education and improvement in medication have helped lower the national birth rate.

Anna Robinson Student Writer Birth rates are decreasing across the United States. National Public Radio reported that the U.S. birth rate is now lower than it has been in 30 years. The general fertility rate hit a record low in 2017 at around 60 births per 1,000 women between the ages of 15 and 44, which is considered to be the standard reproductive age range.

USA Today speculates that millennials’ changing attitudes to having children as a cause for this decline. Americans in this category are now within the average reproductive age range, but many are choosing to have fewer children or have them later in life. Additionally, immigration shifts contribute to the decline. Immigrants from India and China are now arriving in greater number than any other country of origin, and these families typically have fewer children per household than other immigrant groups.

Collectively, world population growth has been steadily decreasing every five years since the 1970s. It seems today that women do not feel so obligated to settle down and have a family as they did 30 years ago. People do not so automatically assume that a woman will eventually start a family

The birth rate in the United States has been historically correlated with the nation’s economy.

of her own. This relates to changing gender norms. Women are less thought of as homemakers or house wives than before, at least in my experience as a female college student.

However, lower birth rates do not have to be viewed as a negative trend. People are living longer due to advanced medical treatment and safety measures. This brings us to overpopulation. Overpopulation has become a prominent issue all over the world. Resources like food and water could be exhausted as the globe’s human population outgrows the Earth’s ability to support over seven billion people. This is why any changes in birth or death rates are important to monitor.

Though developed regions like the United States, Europe and East Asia have low birth rates (and therefore low population growth), other continents are still seeing rapid increases. The World Population

Review revealed that Africa’s rates are the highest, with Niger, Somalia and the Democratic Republic of the Congo experiencing the fastest growth. Each of these countries has at least five children per female citizen, as compared to an average of 1.8 children in the United States.

Children are needed for labor forces in developing countries. These countries also feature high maternal and perinatal mortality, limited access to birth control and contraceptives and younger average marriage ages. The National Center for Biotechnology Information stated that these factors contribute to the higher birth rates in developing countries.

This organization also cited inadequate education for women as a cause for high birth rates as well. This claim relates back to what my economics and sociology professor Ron Jepperson discussed in his Global Trends course. He explained that access

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

to reproductive healthcare products such as birth control, along with reproductive health education for women in developing countries is vital to a country’s overall wellbeing. It allows for an economy to operate with a manageable population. Though countries have the desire to be able to replenish their populations with an equal birth rate and death rate for optimal economic functioning, given the looming unsustainability of overpopulation, perhaps less will be more in the future.

When speaking to The Guardian, environmental experts even predicted a chocolate shortage by 2020 due to less cocoa supplies. These plants are harvested in rainforests. Rainforest coverage in South America and in Africa are shrinking as demand for resources rise and human diseases spread. And I don’t know about you, but I do not want to bring children into a world without chocolate.

21 January 2019

Local coffee roaster begins selling breast milk lattes

A groundbreaking local coffee shop receives praise for its innovative beverage choices.

Thomas von Borstel Prefers 2 Percent Breast Milk “The nutty notes of oat milk, the thick decadence of goat’s milk and a slight hint of salt make the breast milk latte at LAFA Coffee Roaster a must-buy,” says one Yelp reviewer.

LAFA, which opened in Tulsa in 2018, has been heralded as “groundbreaking,” “astonishing” and “the paragon of the burgeoning fourth-wave coffee movement.”

Jonathan Arthur Wright, coffee critic and 2017-2018 Barista Champion of the Universe , founded LAFA with the basic idea that “locality, specificity and artistry” are the “key ingredients to crafting the postmodern product.” The Tulsa native named the coffee shop “LAFA” from the word “earth” in Oromo, which is also the name of his favorite cultivation region. Wrightr explicitly expressed his love for nature, especially The Gathering Place, which was his inspiration for choosing “earth.”

“LAFA has provided zany combinations ever since its conception, but none can match the controversial breast milk latte.”

The roastery itself has become an attraction in Tulsa, bringing coffee pilgrims from across the globe to taste the award-winning roasts and espresso of Wright. LAFA has provided zany combinations ever since its conception, but none can match the controversial breast milk latte.

I received a warm introduction from Wright, who reserved the space after hours for a private cupping, which would usually cost me upward of $500 with the Champion of the Universe.

As he was frothing the breast milk, he commentated on how he viewed modern coffee “You see, it is absolutely pivotal that we propel forward the art as a craft that transcends simple beverage. Coffee has over eight hundred flavor compounds that far surpass any rivaling drink. We can only add and diversify as we find new, evolutionary ways to serve it.”

He continued, “Coffee is the second-most consumed commodity in the world. My coffee is my mission. To responsibly source my coffee is to aid the community at large.”

Wright’s passion is undeniable, as I spent two hours jotting down notes regarding “tannins,” the necessity of “pre-infusions” and his discovery that the prime water temperature for a Chemex pour-over is in fact 201 degrees Fahrenheit rather than the industry standard 205 degrees .

The State-Run Media

Baezos, the Bachelor that we deserve There’s one good thing to come out of the richest man in the world’s divorce, and that is a starring role on the hit reality show!

they would all know what they were getting themselves into.

The other drawback is that no one cares about the Bachelor except during the beginning and the end of the show, and keeping toxic gossip in front of discourse on so-

Imagine the final moment where Jeff Bezos can choose his bride to be, and Tiffany/Kourtnee/Maddiesyn/Cala-Lily can be the next Mrs. Bezos.

The ring will be worth millions. The marital promise will be many times more sincere

Brennen Gray President of Bachelor Nation While the workers of Amazon will likely see no benefit from Bezos losing half his money, the important thing is that white middle-class America feels victorious watching the billionaire get kicked in the pants.

The country can agree that his soon-tobe ex-wife has earned all $69 billion she is about to get, and for those not working at Amazon, the drama is swift justice and a perfect big-bad-boss-gets-it-handed-to-him story.

But just to keep people paying attention to Bezos’ personal life and not the fact that his humiliation does not actually help his workers at all, the ideal plan of action is to ensure white middle-class American housewives never stop talking about him.

So good thing Jeff Bezos will be the next Bachelor. That is right. Jeff BAEzos is coming to TV. He fits the Bachelor bill perfectly. He has the smile, the money and the lack of personality in any sense of the word. He has charm without needing people skills and, more importantly, the ability to look at dozens of people as assets and decide which ones are worth keeping.

Now there is a drawback to this decision.

He has a bald head. He has no hair. I mean, the man is an egg.

But that can be easily fixed! The show has no problem with people augmenting their appearances to validate beauty standards, so Bezos can just wear a toupee. If a contestant can fake an Australian accent without the

New year, new Bezos: Jeff Bezos rocks a new ‘do in this Bachelor promo.

cial issues could be a problem in the living rooms of soccer moms the nation over.

And so, just to spice things up, the dates have to be extra extravagant. Perhaps Bezos

“[Bezos] fits the Bachelor bill perfectly. He has the smile, the money and the lack of personality... ” show batting an eye, then Bezos can pretend to have hair. Not to mention the girls would all look the other way. Bezos probably has the most famous shiny noggin around, so

and his date can skinny dip in a pool filled with the tears of the proletariat. Or even better, enjoy a romantic evening by a bonfire of the cash Bezos made from not giving Amazon employees decent benefits!

“... Wright stood, hands cupping the breasts of a pregnant woman.”

The millennial effect on consumerism over time. Pan-Am reaches new low: the Kim Kardashian level.

When we finally spoke about the infamous breast milk latte, he said, “To be honest, I was tired of having to juggle all of these milk options that lack in different ways, and I am in no way going to serve animal’s milk. I looked over at my pregnant partner and said, “I got it!’”

Following his standard of “locality, specificity and artistry,” Wright decided that the only way he could rightfully serve a beverage such as this was to harvest the product himself to ensure the excellence of the good.

Local breast rights organizations have been in an uproar over the product, citing every violation they can find and legislating to ban breast milk lattes. Protestors lined the street outside of LAFA, but it did not curb the steady current of patrons who filed in and out with paper cups.

One young man I stopped declared, “Honestly, I’ve never had anything like it.

It’s just so unique. Simply astonishing.”

A middle-aged woman said, “I mean, it’s a gimmick, a damn good one. He’s just in there milking away… everyone loves it.”

Entering the establishment, I was greeted by a large podium with a glass box in which Wright stood, hands cupping the breasts of a pregnant woman.

The general consensus among patrons was that the breast milk latte is avantegarde, bringing in a new wave of production that will keep the coffee industry thriving for years.

The Collegian: 15

graphic by Conner Maggio

than your average proposal on “The Bachelor” and therefore still be meaningless.

The world will be in tears at the perfect love story — until the two break up two weeks later, because duh.

The important thing is that middle-class America can enjoy Bezos’ misery without anybody actually benefiting from it other than his ex and soon-to-be exes, who will likely not give any more of that money over to any Amazon employees than Jeff did.

Of course, this cannot last forever. But rest assured, after the Bezos scandal is good and forgotten, the world will be ready for the next Bachelorette: Alexa.

graphic by Conner Maggio

5 more surprising things that millennials killed Millennials are at it again, and you’ll never believe what they killed this time!

Hannah Robbins Single-handedly killed Teavana Every time you look at a newspaper (or Facebook or Apple News or the back of milk cartons or whatever you use for news), millennials are killing something else. The list goes on and on. Applebee’s, starter homes, napkins, cereal, golf, motorcycles, fabric softener, designer handbags, gyms, home improvement stores, football and oil. And that’s just from one list! However, that list is not complete. Millennials are killers, and they take joy in decimating people’s livelihoods. Here are more crazy things they have killed: Speakeasies As you know, not that long ago, alcohol was illegal. But where there’s a will, there’s a way, and with the American people, there’s always a way. Americans decided to take alcohol on the DL and have illegal bars in back rooms and open fields. Millennials went to a speakeasy one time and accidentally posted it on Instagram, and welp, that was the end of that.

The stock market (twice!)

We already know that millennials don’t buy anything anymore — they just sell sell sell, and there’s nowhere this is better showcased than the stock market. Millennials had money in the stock market, and when they realized that they had made money, they sold faster than the latest iPhone. For once, millennials weren’t poor.

Pan-Am At first glance, Pan-Am, the fancy airline where every flight is posher than the Kardashians think they are, seems like something millennials could get behind. Unfortunately, someone didn’t tell millennials that they couldn’t wear yoga pants on planes and had to wear heels. When someone said Chacos weren’t allowed, all the millennials revolted, and here we are.

Millennials are lazy, and they couldn’t get behind a form of writing on a board that requires leaving their house often. They flocked to dry erase boards, squealing that they can use sooooooo many colors, and that was the end of the chalkboard industry.

China plates When millennials realized that china plates looked pretty, but they were so much work, the end of the china plate industry became obvious. Honestly, who expected plates that were only for show instead of actually being used? How could millennials know that they also required hand washingthe bane of every millennial? No one that actually remembered millennials existed.

So as you can tell, millennials are actually The Worst People Ever(TM), and the media is obviously right to blame them for

“Millennials went to a speakeasy... and accidentally posted it on Instagram, and welp, that was the end of that.”

Chalkboards Even though millennials are a bigger fan of dark mode than your mom is of the biggest size of text possible on her iPhone, for some reason, the fact that the board was dark couldn’t make up for the fact that you actually had to buy chalk, like, all the time.

everything. I mean, can you, like, imagine what the world would be like if we still had tons of chalkboards (right, Lottie)? A much better place for sure. So next time you see a millennial, don’t forget to tell them how awful they are for killing so many things.

the

State-Run media Hey Alexa — who should win my rose?

Special interests cut out the middle congressman Due to a new quirk in the election fine print, special interest groups took the places of the representatives they voted for.

Hannah Robbins Sponsored by Starbucks When the 116th Congress was sworn in earlier this month, it quickly became clear that this will be one of the most diverse classes of lawmakers that Washington D.C. has ever seen. It’s not, as most people would assume, because there are fewer old white men in the government than ever before, but because donors have decided to cut out the middle (congress)man and sit in the seats they paid for.

Based on the amount of money each special interest donated to campaigns and lobbying, they received a proportional number of seats. This led to the largest number of seats surprisingly going to groups of retired individuals like AARP, with investment bankers, real estate companies and educators trailing behind. The most individual groups to earn seats within an interest group went to medical spenders, with groups from Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America to the American Medical Association getting a spot in Congress.

ment banker had a corner office. In addition, lawmakers have quickly become skilled at negotiating. The real estate legislators decided that conference rooms were property that they could buy and sell and decided that they would lease them out to the highest bidder. Many meetings are now held in offices and hallways as lawmakers look for rooms to hold meetings in.

With the significant increase in medical professionals in Congress, there is a movement to change some common terminology.

Instead of calling additions to a bill amendments, the new trend is to call them “refills,” and the new buzzword for a bill itself is a “prescription.” Instead of a parliamentarian, there is now an “anesthesiologist” in both chambers.

One of the most interesting new additions to the new Congress is the teachers. In addition to requiring textbooks and briefing booklets at every session, they have taken to asking for answers during their floor speeches. When no answer is received, they decide to wait until someone finds the answer in one of the numerous textbooks now required. Unfortunately, teachers also decided quizzes were needed, and if someone doesn’t get a passing score, then they aren’t allowed to vote on the issue.

While the new class in Congress seems to be as quirky as can be, they already have had luck passing new legislation. Some high-

“... the new trend is to call them ‘refills,’ and the new buzzword for a bill itself is a ‘prescription.’”

Any new Congress has interesting quirks during the transition, but the ones this year were mind boggling. With the large increase in retirees in Congress, the schedule for lawmaking changed slightly. Out were the late night meetings and first bills at 11 a.m. Now, session begins at a bright and early 7 a.m., with a two hour lunch break so that they can finish at 4 p.m. for an early bird special.

Other significant changes with the new lawmakers included an increase in corner offices. Somehow the different office buildings have been refurbished so that every invest-

lights include a bill that removes all regulation from markets, another that doubled the amount of money received via Social Security and Medicare and a third bill to remove maximum pharmaceutical prices. As the senators and representatives are quick to pass legislation, more protesters than even have appeared on the steps of the Capitol Building, as people who aren’t affected by the new bills are pleading to have their interests met. These pleas fall on deaf ears while Congress continues to only benefit those with seats.

graphic by Conner Maggio Ted “The Big Pharma” Cruz proposing a bill about removing maximum pharmaceutical price restrictions.

The Friendlighting Game — are you mentally prepared?

A new trend sweeping TU’s campus includes a friendly dose of psychological abuse.

James Terrell Psychologically Sound(ish)

graphic by Conner Maggio A common friendlighting activity is telling your roommate that it’s in fact their turn to clean (it’s not).

Fueled by sleep deprivation, “friendlighting” is a brand new game that has made its way to the University of Tulsa. “The rules are simple,” explained psychology major Molly Lewis. “Do whatever it takes to make your friends question their sanity, without causing any physical harm. Sort of like gaslighting… but with friends!”

Utilizing social media giants such as Twitter and Instagram, students tweet or post images of all their successful tricks. The game has no set point system, but certain moves further your street cred and have been given nicknames.

Examples of this include the classic “I’m on My Way” text, when in fact they are still half-naked watching reruns of “Gossip Girl” without the strength to get up and put on a pair of pants. Another one, specifically targeted toward campuses, is a trick called “The Philanthropy Night.” This is where a person says they’ll come to a philanthropy night for fraternities/sororities and invite everyone they know, but come the night of, they are nowhere to be seen.

The most popular one is arguably the “We Should Get Dinner Sometime,” where in actuality you have zero plans of seeing that person again. This one has risen in popularity because it can be used multiple times on the same person.

The bigger the hit, the better the recognition. Corbin Barker used the “I Thought

It was Your Turn to Clean the Apartment” move for six weeks straight and has skyrocketed in the ranks.

There is even word of amateur teams forming to pull off bigger and better moves.

One team in particular, run by Lewis, has made it a goal to screw over at least half of the college campus without them realizing.

These include fake social events such as “Speed Dating Day” and “Facebook Party,” as well as pledging greek life and then not accepting a bid.

Not all moves are successful, however.

Accounting major Sam Markle was shunned by others for snapping a photo of himself putting laxatives in the sauces at Benvenuto’s. “This isn’t a prank war, dumbass,” commented a fellow player. “Go back to playing with babies,” said another.

Of course, with more recognition comes more realizations that perhaps your friends are dicking you over. Certain students are locking themselves in their apartments and refusing to leave in fear that someone is going to go out of their way to inconvenience them. Murmurs of “I’m not crazy” can be faintly heard all over Norman Village. And that’s exactly what the pros are hoping for.

Certain professors have become first responders to students who become victims, and there’s word that friendlighting might be banned. It seems players are not too concerned, however, stating that perhaps this game isn’t real to begin with and people have just made it up.

“People say I might be a sociopath,” says Lewis. “But is it really sociopathic to have a little fun? Oh, by the way, come to my College Prom in February.”

When asked when in February, she provided no further details.