November 18th 2013

a student newspaper of the university of tulsa

november 18, 2013 issue 11 ~ volume 99

A Hall of Mirrors, the World’s Largest Praying Hands and a Flame-Capped Tower: Getting to Know ORU

So, the Mayor’s Cup got us thinking: how much do we really know about our neighbor at 81st and Lewis?

ORU’s sixty-foot statue is the largest pair of praying hands in the world. “Praying Hands” is but one of many oddities awaiting visitors to ORU’s campus.

Fraser Kastner Olivia Blankenship Staff Writers

T

he campus of Oral Roberts University is not easy to miss. Anyone who has ever been in South Tulsa will recognize the unique, futuristic architecture and the sixtyfoot-tall praying hands of the world-famous Christian college.

Many of TU’s students know ORU, located at 7777 S. Lewis Ave., as our rival in basketball. However, the nature of campus life at ORU remains a mystery to many. In the spirit of discovery, myself and fellow Collegian staff writer Olivia Blankenship took the long drive into the wilds of South Tulsa to tour ORU’s campus and spoke with some of its students.

ORU was founded in 1963 and accredited by the Higher

Learning Commission in 1971. The story behind the University’s foundation is almost more remarkable than the man who founded it.

Roberts claimed to have received a message from God telling him to found a university to further God’s work on earth. Roberts claimed that God told him, “Raise up your students to hear My voice, to go where My light is dim, where My voice is heard small, and My healing power is not known, even to the uttermost bounds of the earth. Their work will exceed yours, and in this I am well pleased.”

These words are hung in large brass letters from the balcony of Christ’s Chapel.

Before Oral Roberts founded the University that now bears his name, he made a name for himself as a travelling preacher, televangelist and faith healer. He was also well known for his adherence to the prosperity gospel, a belief that God wills that Christians be wealthy and prosperous.

Reading Partners Reading can change a child’s life! Become a True Blue Neighbors Reading Partner at Kendall-Whittier Elementary, commit to one hour a week and a 45 minute training session and you can be the catalyst to launch a child’s education to a higher level. Time slots are still available.

Springdale Elementary Starting November 5, 2013, from 6:00 – 7:30 p.m., Springdale Elementary School is needing volunteers to assist with child care and reading buddies during ESL and Parenting classes. This is a once a week class and runs through May.

This belief led to some accusations that Roberts was using his ministry to become wealthy. Although no formal allegations ever stuck, Roberts was known for a lavish lifestyle, and in 2007, his son Richard was forced to resign his position as head of ORU amidst allegations of misusing university funds after the school went into debt.

To get out of debt, the school accepted $70 million from the Green family, founders of Hobby Lobby and Mardel Christian and Education Stores, Inc., and installed a new board of directors, appointed by the Green family with Mart Green as chairman.

Our tour of ORU began in the Graduate Center, a large multi-purpose building with lounges for students, classrooms and the campus library. Students milled about, walking to and from classes. In the center of the round common area we noticed a spiral staircase leading up five

See ORU page 10

Habitat for Humanity Habitat needs volunteers to finish up their fall builds. The shifts run from 8 a.m. – 12 p.m. or 12:30 – 4 p.m., and dates are November 9, 16, 23 & 30, December 7, 14 & 21 Lunch Room Monitor Kendall-Whittier needs lunch room monitors on Fridays. This is only for 30 minutes from 10:45 – 12:45. A background check is required.

For additional information on volunteer opportunities, contact Kathy Shelton in the True Blue Neighbor Volunteer Center at kathy-shelton@utulsa.edu or call 918-631-3535.

18 november 2013

the Collegian : 2

MONGOLIAN GRILL

SCAN

THE CODE

BELOW

For a chance at FREE food

6746 S Memorial Dr, Tulsa, OK 74133 (918) 459-5346

May 2014 Graduates Nominate a Secondary School Teacher For The Prize for Inspiration Here’s how to nominate a high school teacher who inspired you: 1. Nominations may be made by any undergraduate who expects to graduate in May, 2014.

2. Nominations are due by 5:00 PM on December 13, 2013 and should be sent to the Dean’s office of the College in which the graduating senior is enrolled via-email as follows: College of Arts and Sciences: Stephanie-Boulden@utulsa.edu College of Business Administration: Chante-clarkson@utulsa.edu College of Engineering & Natural Sciences: Dottie-Smith@utulsa.edu 3. Teachers selected will receive a $2,000 award and their high schools will receive $1,000. The teachers will be recognized during the May commencement ceremony.

High school teachers throughout the USA are eligible.

4. Students whose nominated teachers are selected will receive $500.

5. For more information including the nomination criteria go to the Student Affairs website:

http://www.utulsa.edu/studentaffairs.

the Collegian : 3

18 november 2013

Tulsa trampled by Herd, fans brave frigid elements

Will Bramlett and David Kennedy / Collegian

Tulsa’s misfortunes continued Thursday night as the Hurricane fell 45–34 to the Marshall Thundering Herd. The Herd jumped out to an early 21–0 lead, but Tulsa battled back, taking the lead early in the 4th quarter.

Unfortunately, the defense could not hold the stampeding opposition , surrendering two touchdowns in the final four minutes of play. A combination of poor weather, a weeknight kickoff and a two-win season kept attendance down to a measly 16,000. But those willing to endure the cold made up for their lack of numbers with heightened enthusiasm. Halftime was particularly entertaining: the band performed ‘Single Ladies’ and a parade of nations circled the stadium with the flags representing the home countries of many of TU’s international students.

The Collegian is the independent student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law in its programs, services, aids, or benefits.

Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, 918-631-2616. Requests for accommodation of disabilities may be addressed to the University’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Taylor, 918-631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpreter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accommodations.

Advertising Policy: Advertising appearing in this publication does not imply approval or endorsement by the University of Tulsa or The Collegian for the products or services advertised. For advertising information, email The Collegian at collegian@utulsa.edu or elizabeth-cohen@utulsa.edu. The deadline for advertising is 12 p.m. on the Friday prior to the publication. Editing Policy: The Collegian reserves the right to edit all copy submitted by all writers. This editing may take place in many forms, including grammar corrections, changes in paragraph structure or even the addition or removal of sections of content. Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opinions of the entire Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers. Letter Policy: Letters to the editor must be less than 500 words. While we do not require it, letters sent via e-mail to the Collegian are encouraged. Under no circumstances will anonymous letters be published. The name of the person submitting the letter must be published with the letter. We reserve the right to edit or reject all letters. The deadline for letters is 5 p.m. on the Saturday prior to publication.

editor-in-chief—J.Christopher Proctor managing editor—Kyle Walker news editor—Conor Fellin sports editor—Will Bramlett variety editor—Stephanie Hice opinion editor—Patrick Creedon satire editor—Anna Bennett photo & graphics editor—Jill Graves apprentice editor—Morgan Krueger copy editor—Carly Putnam business & advertising manager—Liz Cohen distribution manager—Walker Womack web manager—Alex White aribitrary writer of the week—Giselle Willis

18 November 2013

Sports

the Collegian : 4

Beautiful Sound does not come easy The Sound of the Golden Hurricane aims to please crowds, but participation involves a major time commitment.

Giselle Willis Staff Writer

The Sound of the Golden Hurricane numbers nearly 100 students and dresses in red, blue and gold. This loud and proud marching band is present at all TU football home games, and attends a few games off-campus as well as basketball games in the Reynolds Center. Directing the band is Andrew Anderson, who majored in Music Education at OU, then got a Master’s in Music Performance and Pedagogy at OSU. Having already worked with athletic and concert bands, Anderson was hired this year to lead The Sound of the Golden Hurricane, and he has found students here to be “flexible and understanding of the goals for the group.” He is also proud that the group has managed to do “multiple shows this season on limited rehearsal time,” since the band meets from 12–1:50 p.m. on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but conflicting classes keep many of the students from attending all three sessions.

Clarinetist Will Chann reiterated that the time commitment for marching band is enormous. “As a mechanical engineer also involved in band, it is extremely hard to balance my studies around six hours of rehearsal a week plus whatever obligations we have for various sporting events,” said

Chann. Yet Chann conceded that while marching band “requires a lot of work, (it) is a great experience,” and that the “best part of marching band is definitely traveling.” He stated that “many of the locations we play are very cool,” notably “full college football stadium(s) like OU’s.”

Percussionist Ethan Rex said he actually began his college career as a music major, “but dropped it due to time constraints,” and that even being on the drum line still takes up a lot of time. However, Rex is thankful for his music scholarship, and he believes that the “best part of the drum line is definitely rocking out at footballs games…that builds a lot of energy in a crowd.”

Anderson strives to make sure the songs the band plays are fun for the band and fans.

Freshman Kaylee Pace, who was drum major of her high school’s marching band, thought that the Sound did not “play a lot of pep songs” after seeing a show, but Anderson hopes that “if a show we perform isn’t someone’s cup of tea, then we’ll have something coming up that they will enjoy more!” He added that the Sound has recently performed excerpts from current movie soundtracks and pieces by “the rock group Queen.”

Finally, Anderson declared that his vision for the Sound of the Golden Hurricane is “to give the crowd as many tunes and shows that they’ll enjoy as possible,” and that a “sense of nostalgia and loyalty is a definite part of what collegiate bands try to evoke within the audience.”

David Kennedy / Collegian

The band is at the football games to help cheer on the team, but also to have fun. Drum major Justin Anderson can be seen playing with rubber chickens and Captain Cane’s lightning sword at football games.

"One-and-done" helps no one

The NBA policy forcing athletes to play one year of college ball before joining the NBA does not help anyone, specifically the athletes.

The Association needs to reform the policy for the benefit all of involved.

David Kennedy / Collegian

The Sound of the Golden Hurricane is a constant, braving the elements to bring spirit and joy to the crowd during every home football game.

David Kennedy / Collegian

The band played “Paranoid Android” by Radiohead during halftime of the football game Thursday and then ' songs. The band dropped their instruments to grove to “Single Ladies.” preformed two Beyonce

Hurricane to face two of the nation’s best teams

The Tulsa men’s basketball team will face two teams, each with historically great basketball programs.

Catherine Duininck Staff Writer

Tulsa’s men’s basketball team looked promising in the preseason. The Golden Hurricane returns eight players, two of whom were 2013 C-USA All-Freshman selections guard James Woodward and forward D’Andre Wright. Head coach Danny Manning believes the team has begun to bond with each other, saying “this summer was very good because our returning players had a chance to bond with the newcomers and say, ‘this is what we do. This is how we do it. This is why we do it. This is how we work.’ They helped establish the culture with our newcomers at an earlier stage in their careers here at TU.” However, they have not started out as well as was hoped.

TU lost their first two games this year against Oral Roberts and Missouri State.

The team needs to refocus on the basics of basketball in order to start winning games; in both games, little details like boxing out, rebounding, and free throws took a toll on the Hurricane’s chances of winning. TU only had six offensive rebounds against

ORU and shot 47-percent from the free throw-line. However, it is still early in the season, and both games have been very close. The Hurricane still has a good chance of doing well this year.

The Golden Hurricane will take on Wichita State, a team which advanced to last season’s Final Four, Wednesday at 7 p.m. in the Reynolds Center, and will be looking to rebound after its 86–60 loss last year at Wichita State. Last season, “Wichita State came out with a lot of energy, and we weren’t able to match their energy,” said Manning.

Wichita’s defense was strong, only allowing nine offensive rebounds and, at one point in the game, did not allow Tulsa to score for five minutes.

Tulsa will play in Omaha against Creighton Saturday at 2:30 p.m.. The Bluejays are another team coming off a strong performance in March. Last year TU lost 71–54 and only shot 38-percent for the game. Tulsa gave up 32 points from 25 turnovers, but did out rebound the Bluejays 35–28. TU went seven and a half minutes without a field goal at one point in the game. It will need to find its shooting game early in the game this year in order to keep up with Creighton’s offense.

Be sure to be at the Reynolds Center Wednesday by 7 p.m. to cheer on the Golden Hurricane and the game against the Bluejays will be broadcast on Fox Sports Oklahoma.

Nikki Hager Staff Writer

Andrew Wiggins, Julius Randle and Jabari Parker are the three top freshman entering NCAA Division I basketball this year. All three have expressed interest in playing for the NBA—however, because of the “one and done rule,” they are forced to spend a year playing for a college team.

The NBA enacted the rule in 2005 to increase “the chances that incoming players will have the requisite ability, experience, maturity and life skills,” required to play at the NBA level, according to NBA president Joel Litvin in a Congressional challenge to the rule in 2009.

There are serious problems with the rule.

First of all, college isn’t for everyone.

The average salary of an NBA player is $5.15 million per year. The handful of athletes that go to college for a year rather than playing for the NBA directly out of high school effectively lose out on this large sum of money for the year they spend in college.

Additionally, if playing professional basketball is an athlete’s career goal, then there is little or no incentive for the player to care about their classes. They know that they’re not going to get a degree, and that they are only going to school for a year because of a rule.

Second, the “one and done” rule harms colleges and institutions. Wiggins, Randle and Parker attend three of the most respected basketball programs in the country (Kansas, Kentucky and Duke respectively). Universities that attract the top picks can further

grow their programs, but this potentially harms schools that cannot. Eliminating the best-of-the-best, or “outliers,” can level the playing field for other schools.

Third, the rule harms the other players beyond those directly affected. During the past several years, college tuition has risen at record levels. Collegiate athletics and the scholarships they offer can provide excellent opportunities for students that otherwise would have not had an opportunity to get a degree.

The scholarships that are given to student athletes who spend a year with the program could then be given to students who don’t have a shot at the NBA—how many people really have the opportunity to make $5.15 million a year playing professional sports?

Give the scholarships to students who could get an education and do something besides playing professional sports after they graduate.

Finally, the age requirements to play professional basketball are unlike the majority of other major league sports. The NFL requires that players are at least three years removed from high school before they are eligible, increasing the incentive for players to finish their degrees.

While the average graduation time is over three years, taking an additional year or two to play college football and finish a degree is significantly less imposing than taking an additional three years of college. This is especially noteworthy because the average tenure is 3.3 years in the NFL compared to over 12 years in the NBA. Players may find it more beneficial to have a degree to get a job once their time in the NFL is up.

The MLB’s rule is a bit of a mix—players can either be drafted directly out of high school or they are ineligible until they’re at least three years removed, much like that of the NFL. That way players who have a serious interest in playing ball professionally have the option, those who are not sure have the option to go to college, however this way they are not taking scholarships that could have otherwise gone to other students.

The NBA should reform its rules to get rid of one and done, for the sake of both the players and college basketball.

Sports

the Collegian : 5

Canadians play football, too!

Jesse Keipp

The Super Bowl is a timehonored American tradition, On Tuesday, Nov. 12, former but the Canadians began heavey weight champion of the competing for the Grey Cup world, Mike Tyson released an 58 years before the first autobiographical book, titled Super Bowl.

“Undisputed Truth,” which he coauthored (that term is being used Matthew Magerkurth Staff Writer

very loosely) with Larry Sloman.

Contrary to early reports and rumors, the book does not include a temporary Mike Tyson face tattoo.

In perhaps the most stunning revelation to come out of Tyson’s book, Tyson revealed that he was high on drugs during some of his major fights and that he passed his drug tests using a “whizzer”—”a fake penis where you put in someone’s clean urine to pass your drug test.” Most people just use someone else’s urine to pass drug tests, but Tyson couldn’t stop there. He had to use a fake penis.

The self-admitted “full-blown cokehead” said that he first had cocaine at 11 and received alcohol as a baby.

Photo courtesy CBS Sports

The Seminoles have been playing so well this season, the players have to find something to do when the stringers go onto the field. Apparently, hangman is a good use of time during a football game.

Florida State football has bullied its opponents on the way to an undefeated season and a No. 2 BCS ranking. On Saturday, the Seminoles routed Syracuse 59-3.

Earlier in the year, Alabama head coach Nick Saban complained of his fans leaving the games early.

Florida State has been so dominant that even its players have checked out by the ends of their games, at least mentally. Yes, these players are playing hangman on the sideline during the game.

Shockingly, USC beat Stanford on Saturday night 20–17. Some might say the difference-maker was USC’s play calling or maybe its offense. But in reality, it was the pep talk the team received from famed rap artist Dr. Dre. We can only imagine that he promised the players Beats headphones if they won.

With the midnight release of the Sony PlayStation 4, Dallas Cowboys WR Dez Bryant showed up at a Walmart and bought out all of the PS4s. Infamous for his character issues which have manifested in sideline tirades and other antics, one might think he was buying them all for himself. But this story has a good ending; Bryant gave the PS4s to the gamers who were waiting in line. My heart warms at the thought of a free PS4.

Staff Writer

Last week, the Canadian Football League (CFL) held division finals matches between the Toronto Argonauts and the Hamilton TigerCats of the East Division, and the Saskatchewan Roughriders and the Calgary Stampeders of the West Division. The eight-team league’s 18-game regular season came to a close Nov. 3 and playoffs began Nov. 10 with six teams fighting for the Grey Cup. The CFL is not well-known south of the border, despite an attempted southern expansion in the 1990s with seven teams established in the U.S., as well as three more proposed teams that never took the field. Founded in 1958, it is the second-oldest football league in North America (the NFL takes the top spot). Football has existed in various forms in Canada since the 1860s, and the CFL is the most successful iteration of of Canadian football unification attempts.

Though CFL generally closely resembles American football, the Canadian version has some major differences. For one, it is played on a larger field; 110 yards long and 65 yards wide with 20-yard end zones (for comparison, the U.Sl specifications are 100, 53.5, and ten, respectively). Also, each CFL team is allowed 12 players on the field, as opposed to 11 in the NFL. The field goal posts also sit at the goal line, similar to oldschool football in the U.S. Another noticeable difference is that the last team to touch a fumbled ball which goes out-ofbounds has possession, a rule which would have helped the Golden Hurricane Thursday night.

Perhaps the most interesting difference is that each team is alFamously bearded relief pitcher and former Giant and Dodger, Brian Wilson refused to sign with the Yankees. Did they not offer him enough money? No, he just didn’t want to part with his trademark black beard to comply with Yankee team rules. I do not care how sick my beard is: facial hair can always grow back, but money is forever.

Photo courtesy Major League Baseball

Brian Wilson is a man of values. One specific values stands above the rest. He values his beard above all else, including money from the Yankee’s massive bank.

lowed three downs to advance ten yards with the option to punt after two plays.

One famous CFL player was Tulsa’s own All-American quarterback Glenn Dobbs. Dobbs led the Golden Hurricane to regularseason record of 10–0 in 1942 and a No. 4 ranking following a 14–7 loss to the Tennesse Volunteers in the Sugar Bowl.

Dobbs was drafted by the Chicago Cardinals, the defending NFL champions, in 1944 but left for a better contract in the AllAmerica Football Conference, a rival league to the NFL. In 1951, Dobbs left for the Saskatchewan Roughriders of the CFL, where he led the team to a Grey Cup championship in his first season with the team and won the Jeff Nicklin Memorial Trophy, the award given to the CFL West Division’s Most Outstanding Player.

Dobbs became a player-coach for the Roughriders the following

The men’s team came within 12 points of first at the Midwest Regional; O’Hare took first place.

Morgan Krueger Apprentice Editor

Iowa State University hosted the NCAA Division I Midwest Regional Cross Country Championship Race Friday in Ames, Iowa.

Tulsa’s Men Cross Country team placed second, making this its first automatic qualification for the NCAA Cross Country Championship.

The race’s individual winner was Tulsa's senior Chris O’Hare who completed the 10 km race with a time of 30:28.0. The remaining Tulsa runners all finished within the top-30. Marc Scott and Andrew Heyes came in fifth and sixth, respectively, trailing O’Hare by less than 10 seconds. Danny Thater finished 16th and Tim Rackers finished less than a minute behind O’Hare in 29th place.

In collegiate cross country points are scored based on the order each runner finishes the race.

The first runner to cross the line gets one point, the second runner receives two points, etc. The scores from the first five finishing runners on each team are added to produce the team’s final score.

This makes the lowest possible score a team can receive 15 points.

Like golf, the cross country team with the fewest points wins.

TU earned 57 points, securing their place in the NCAA Championships. Tulsa was beat only

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ESPN’s College GameDay will be broadcast from Stillwater, Okla. before the Oklahoma State Cowboys vs Baylor Bears game Nov. 23.

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Saturday will mark the 45th anniversary of the 1968 Houston vs. Tulsa football game in which the Cougars beat the Golden Hurricane 100–6. It was the last game in which a college football team scored at least 100 points and included then-freshman Dr. Phil, who was on the Golden Hurricane football team for one season.

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The Pittsburgh Penguins and Chicago Blackhawks are set to face-off at Soldier Field in Chicago in the Nation Hockey League’s first regular season game scheduled to be broadcast in prime time on network TV since a game Jan. 4, 1974 between the New York Rangers and Boston Bruins. The game, part of the NHL’s new series of outdoor games, is set for March 1, 2014 at 7 p.m., day before NBC’s Hockey Day in America triple-header and days after the NHL returns from hiatus for the Winter Olympics.

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season, before leaving the CFL in 1955 to return to his alma mater to be the Athletic Director. He then became TU’s head football coach in 1961. He coached one of the most successful passing offenses in college football history during his tenure—his teams lead the nation in passing from 1962 to 1966.

Along with the aforementioned Toronto Argonauts, Hamilton Tiger-Cats, Saskatchewan Roughriders and the Calgary Stampeders, the other four teams in the CFL are the Montreal Alouettes, Winnipeg Blue Bombers, BC Lions and Edmonton Eskimos. Formed in 1873, the Argonauts are the oldest team.

The CFL will return to the nation’s capital, Ottawa, next season when the Ottawa RedBlacks join the CFL. The Ottawa Rough Riders (unrelated to the Saskatchewan Roughriders) began play in 1876 and were a founding member of the CFL, but the franchise folded in 1996. Another team began play

in Ottawa in 2002, but folded after four seasons.

The champions of both divisions face off in the Grey Cup. The award was first given in 1909 to the Toronto Argonauts of a previous league. Unlike most leagues which have a new trophy made every year, the Grey Cup travels from winner to winner, similar to hockey’s Stanley Cup. The Argonauts have won 16 times, the most of any team.

The Tiger-Cats and Roughriders prevailed to advance to the Grey Cup. The Tiger-Cats beat the Argonauts 36–24 and the Roughriders beat the Stampeders 35–13.

The two teams will face-off in the 101st Grey Cup which will take place Nov. 24 at 5 p.m. in Regina, Saskatchewan, home of the Roughriders. The 30,000 seat stadium sold out mid-July and will be televised in the U.S. on NBC Sports Network.

XC to nationals; O’Hare dominates Midwest

News and Notes

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18 November 2013

Tulsa freshman volleyball libero Brooke Berryhill set a school record 41-digs in the Hurricane’s 3–2 come-from-behind victory over the UTEP Miners. The Hurricane traveled to San Antonio, Texas to face the UTSA Roadrunners Sunday in a de facto C-USA title game.

The Roadrunners swept the Golden Hurricane 3–0 to claim the regular season C-USA title and the No. 1 seed in the C-USA volleyball tournament. The Hurricane enters the tournament, which begins Thursday in Murfreesboro, Tenn, as the No. 3 seed.

The Tulsa 66ers lost their first preseason game Thursday 102–95 to the Texas Legends and then lost the next night 115-100 to the Erie BayHawks. The 66ers open regular season play Friday and Saturday against the Iowa Energy at 7 p.m. in the SpiritBank Event Center.

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The Tulsa Revolution of the Premier Arena Soccer League return to the Tulsa Convention Center Friday at 7 p.m. to play the Hidalgo La Fiera after losing their first three games.

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The Tulsa Oilers are now 7–6–2 this season after defeating the Wichita Thunder twice and the Brampton Beast Sunday afternoon 6–3. The Oiler’s next game at the BOK Center is Sunday at 4:05 pm. against the Allen Americans.

by Oklahoma State, who received first with 45 points. Following Tulsa in third place was the Iowa State Cyclones, with 113 points.

The national championship race, O’Hare’s last cross country race as a Golden Hurricane, is scheduled to begin at noon Saturday in Terre Haute, Ind. The team aims to improve on last year’s impressive seventh place finish. It placed one position higher than the Sooners last fall and has the defending national champion Cowboys in its sights.

The top finisher for the women’s team was Natasha Cockram who finished the six km race 34th with a time of 21:23.0. Cockram was followed by Rachel Baptista 11 seconds later and Brandi Krieg 11 seconds after that. Emily Dunn finished 82nd at 21:55.8 and Janessa Dunn rounded out the team’s top five following Dunn across the finish line three seconds later.

The women’s team finished 12th out of 30 teams with 309 points, but less than 100 points out of a top-five finish.

Wednesday Nov. 20

M. Basketball

vs Wichita State

Reynolds Center

7 p.m.

Thursday Nov. 21

Volleyball

Volleyball Volleyball**

C-USA First Round

Murfreesboro, Tenn.

Friday Nov. 22

vs UTEP

C-USA Quarterfinals

El Paso, Texas Murfreesboro, Tenn.

TBA

8 p.m.

TBA

Saturday Nov. 23

Cross Country M. Basketball Football Volleyball**

NCAA Championships

Terre Haute, Ind.

12 p.m.

vs Louisiana Tech

Omaha, Neb.

2:30 p.m.

Ruston, La.

6 p.m.

Murfreesboro, Tenn.

TBA

vs Creighton

C-USA Semifinals

Sunday Nov. 24

Volleyball**

C-USA Finals

Murfreesboro, Tenn.

TBA

Tuesday Nov. 26

W. Basketball

vs Oral Roberts

Reynolds Center

7 p.m.

Wednesday Nov. 27

M. Basketball

M. Basketball

vs Indiana State

Anchorage, Alaska 10:30 p.m.

Friday Nov. 29

vs TBD

Anchorage, Alaska

TBA

Saturday Nov. 30 Football

vs North Texas

M. Basketball

vs TBD

W. Basketball

H.A. Chapman Stadium

Anchorage, Alaska

Tuesday Dec. 3

vs St. Louis

St. Louis, Mo.

TBA TBA 4:30 p.m.

Wednesday Dec. 4

M. Basketball

W. Basketball

M. Basketball W. Basketball

vs Texas Southern

Reynolds Center

Saturday Dec. 7

vs UALR vs UALR

Reynolds Center Reynolds Center

Tuesday Dec. 10

vs Arkansas

Fayetteville, Ark.

** if the volleyball team advances in C-USA tournament.

7:05 p.m.

1 p.m.

3:30 p.m.

7 p.m.

NEWS

18 november 2013

the Collegian : 6

Campus mourns Michael Hunt two weeks of his birth and grew up in Tulsa.

“Hunt’s love of performing began at age six when he debuted in ‘Raggedy Ann and Andy’ with Actors and Children’s Theatre,” said the Tulsa World. At TU he starred as Moritz in “Spring Awakening,” Seymour in “Little Shop of Horrors,” Carney in “Biloxi Blues” and Jack in “Into the Woods.”

Blair also described Michael as “talented,” and Elisabeth Hunt said he was “the most talented performer Tulsa had seen in years.”

Machele Dill, the University of Tulsa’s Musical Theatre Program Director, agreed. After calling him an “incredibly talented performer,” she talked about how “he was

Family and friends remember Michael Hunt, who passed away Nov. 11.

Giselle Willis Staff Writer

“Everyone who knew him described him as a bright light,” said Michael Hunt’s sister, Elisabeth Hunt.

OU freshman Seth Blair, a childhood friend of Michael’s, said that he was “amazing” because of the “strength that he provided in proving to the world that he was who he was.”

Michael was born on Nov. 28, 1990. He was adopted by Linda Jo Lacey and Victor Lee Hunt within

Princeton sociologist to discuss inequality p.m., preceded by a reception at 5:30 p.m.

According to TU’s website, Tienda will be visiting TU as a part of the Buck Colbert Franklin Memorial Civil Rights Lecture, which is named in honor of a civil rights lawyer who became prominent in the Greenwood community of Tulsa after the 1921 Tulsa Race Riots, and his son, renowned historian John Hope Franklin.

Dr. Marta Tienda is a leading expert on demography and inequality.

Giselle Willis Staff Writer

Marta Tienda, a sociologist focused on racial and ethnical influences on inequality, will contribute a lecture to the Buck Colbert Franklin Memorial Civil Rights Lecture series on Nov. 21.

Marta Tienda is a sociologist at Princeton University. According to her department’s website, her “research has focused on race and ethnic differences in various metrics of social inequality—ranging from poverty and welfare to education and employment—to address how ascribed attributes acquire their social and economic significance.”

Tienda recently completed a ten year study on “the effectives of social policy in broadening access to higher education,” as stated by her website.

Tienda has published six books on demography with a focus on Hispanics in the United States, and is the Director of Princeton’s Program in Latino Studies.

On Nov. 21, Tienda will be giving a talk entitled “From Diversity to Inclusion Post Grutter and Fisher” in John Rogers Hall at 6:00

In an exclusive interview with the Collegian, Switchfoot’s Jeremy Fontamillas discussed Switchfoot’s Nov. 22 show and their upcoming documentary and album.

Jesse Keipp Staff Writer Courtesy Princeton

Marta Tienda’s research “focuses on race and ethnic differences in various metrics of social inequality.”

But really, we won’t let anything ridiculous like flipped-over pages or images covering the masthead into future Collegians.

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After playing and recording for almost twenty years, Switchfoot is switching up their shows and their sound.

While typical concerts have an opening band or two, Switchfoot has instead opted to open each show of their current tour with a documentary on the band, followed by a few songs from their ninth studio album, “Fading West,” scheduled for release on Jan. 14, 2014.

In an exclusive interview, The Collegian spoke with Switchfoot’s keyboard player, Jerome Fontamillas, about the documentary “Fading West” and the upcoming tour.

Over the release of eight albums, Switchfoot has evolved their sound just as most bands do.

Switchfoot elected to change its guitar-driven orientation. Unlike previous albums “Hello Hurricane” and “Vice Verses,” in “Fading West,” Switchfoot “stripped

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www.utulsa.edu/giving.

Dill concluded by saying Michael had been “on the brink of taking the world by storm.”

Michael’s memorial service was Nov. 15 at All Souls Unitarian Church, and Patricia Joyce,

assistant to the Provost, said that a memory book has been placed in the Meditation Chapel at Sharp Memorial Chapel “for those who wish to share their messages of condolence with Michael’s family.”

The incumbent mayor won with fifty-five percent of the vote. All three propositions on the ballot passed.

Staff Writer

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Hear ye, hear ye! You have been named king of Sudokuland. As part of your kingly duties, must reassign land to your nobles after on you a very2013 kingly Generatedyou by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ Sunhave, Nov 17in 21:04:20 GMT.fashion, Enjoy! killed off the “ignoble” nobles. Your nobles (which are conveniently named Lord One through Lord Nine) are very particular about what land they will accept, and they will likely support your opponent, Lord Zero, if you give them land that is in the same column, row or three-by-three box as their other plots. Since all royal edicts are issued through break-out boxes in copies of the Collegian, you must fill out the Sudoku here and now. Good luck, and God save the king!

Courtesy Lakeshore Learning

down the songs and tried to add different elements to the sound,” according to Fontamillas.

“One of our goals was that we don’t add guitar until we have to.

The guitar part was the last part we put into the song,” said Fontamillas.

Listening to the already-released “Fading West” EP, fans will undoubtedly notice not necessarily a lack of guitar, but a different utilization of the instrument altogether. Guitars do not dominate the choruses—rather, electronic keyboards replace guitar riffs.

“You hear the guitars, but you’re focusing on the song itself,” said Fontamillas.

Asking themselves, “What can we do to make our next album special?” Switchfoot decided to take an unconventional approach to their concerts by opening each show with their autobiographical documentary, also titled “Fading West.” “(The documentary is) another way of us trying to express ourselves. We never really opened up inside our lives before, besides the stage. We opened up the camera into our homes and into our families, and we’ve never done that before,” Fontamillas explained.

The documentary followed the worldwide travels of the band, including a visit to African villages,

“where 90 percent of the kids’ parents died of AIDS.” The film also chronicles the band in Australia, playing with Marilyn Manson and Bush.

“You take a lot of these different elements. And you come to the conclusion that life is precious.

Life is a gift. Every breath you get a second chance,” said Fontamillas of their travels.

The documentary also connects Switchfoot music’s to surfing, examining Switchfoot’s surf culture and its influence on their music.

Since three of the band members grew up in surfing communities, “surfing is in our culture. It’s a way of life,” said Fontamillas.

“Being out on the ocean, you get to think a lot. When you’re out on a surfboard, a lot of things go through your mind,” said Fontamillas.

After a viewing of the documentary at each show, the band will play a relatively short setlist of songs, followed by a live Twitter Q&A. In addition to the live Q&A, the band has scheduled all of their shows at intimate venues.

“We’re not playing these huge amphitheaters. So I could see the back of the room and make eye contact,” said Fontamillas.

Switchfoot will be visiting Tulsa and playing at the Brady Theater on Friday, Nov. 22.

Mayor Bartlett re-elected, “Improve Our Tulsa” propositions passed Giselle Willis

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Courtesy Grace Seidel

Michael Hunt, who passed away on Nov. 11, was an active member of the TU musical theatre department, having performed in such plays as “Spring Awakening,” “Little Shop of Horrors,” “Biloxi Blues” and “Into the Woods.”

Upcoming Switchfoot concert opens with documentary

In the Nov. 11 issue of the Collegian, it appears that we inadvertantly published two entire pages flipped on their sides. While the Collegian could face facts and admit responsibility to this mistake, we would like to instead point out that we have a gremlin hiding in our office. How else can you explain two pages that flipped over onto their sides while we weren’t looking? I mean, seriously, we spent hours laying out the biggest Collegian ever, and some punk gremlin slipped in and screwed every thing up. Thanks, Obama.

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hungry for feedback.”

Once after Dill criticized Hunt, she quoted him as saying, “Yeah, I wasn’t too happy, but damn if you weren’t right.”

Dill had recently made Hunt her TA for Musical Theatre Performance I and II. She mentioned that even though she and Michael “butt(ed) heads” his freshman year, he came back to ask for a second chance.

“It takes an incredibly strong person to come back to a place where he burned his bridges and ask to be allowed back in,” Dill said.

Hunt was going to be Dill’s choreographer for “Altar Boyz” this coming spring.

Alayna Doiron, a friend of Michael’s, said that his passing came “as a complete and utter shock to all,” but that “in the wake of this pain and tragedy, an idea has been formed that will help to secure Michael’s name at the University of Tulsa and in the general Tulsa community for generations.”

Doiron worked with Joey Moppert and Michael’s family to create The Michael Victor Forrest Hunt Endowed Memorial Scholarship for Musical Theatre.

The scholarship has set a donation goal of $25,000 which “will ensure that the scholarship [can] give back to … aspiring students who reflect the same passion and love of life that Michael had,” according to Doiron.

Interested donors should go to

“I give you my pledge: I will continue to give it my all,” proclaimed Dewey Bartlett after winning the Nov. 12 mayoral election.

Bartlett received 55 percent of the vote. His opponent, Kathy Taylor, received 45 percent.

The voter turnout, as reported

by Tulsa World, was at an unprecedented high of “36.1 percent of registered voters,” compared to lower participation in general elections since 2002.

This mayoral race was also the most expensive in Tulsa’s history. The Tulsa World explained

that the amount of money spent in the campaign, “including primary challenger Bill Christiansen,” totaled $4.56 million.

After results were announced, Bartlett congratulated supporters at the Oklahoma Jazz Hall of Fame on “a very historical time in (the) Republican party” due to success over a “very well-funded opponent.”

Taylor thanked her supporters at The Rusty Crane restaurant, advising them to “look at what unites (Tulsans)” and asking them to “volunteer for Reading Partners, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping children read.”

Tulsans additionally voted on Propositions 1–3, dealing with council salaries and plans to “improve our Tulsa.”

Proposition 1 creates a six percent raise for city councilors, and it was approved last Tuesday with

56 percent of the vote.

Proposition 2 is an “extension of a 1.1 percent sales tax to cover the expenses of capital improvement projects” in Tulsa. Ratified by 70 percent of voters, the tax will continue through June 30, 2021, ultimately amassing $563.7 million for the projects.

Carrying with 72 percent of the vote, Proposition 3 similarly focuses on improving Tulsa’s infrastructure. This proposition approves $355 million “for the purpose of building, rebuilding, improving and repairing streets and bridges,” reported Channel 2 News.

Councilor G.T. Bynum said that the approval of these last two propositions “marks the largest investment in streets in our city’s history and will provide the tools our police and firefighters need to keep Tulsa safe.”

NEWS

the Collegian : 7

Eye on the world:

Magdalena Sudibjo Staff Writer

Southeast Asia PHILLIPINES Typhoon Haiyan struck central Philippines on Nov. 7 and killed at

least 2,300 people, with the figure expected to increase.

According to the UN, more than 11 million people have been affected by the typhoon that experts say is one of the most powerful storms ever recorded on land.

Five days after the typhoon, Al Jazeera’s Wayne Hay reports that bodies of the deceased are still

strewn across the streets, decaying in the sun.

“People simply have to walk past those bodies, which is raising concerns about the health situation over the weeks and months ahead,” he said.

According to BBC, the international community has pledged a total of more than $640 million in aid so far with the troops and medical staff from the US, Japan, South Korea and Australia among others.

Europe SPAIN Last Wednesday, a Spanish court pardoned the Spanish government of any responsibility for the 2002 oil spill that occurred in Spain’s northwestern coastline.

The only defendant sentenced was the captain of the oil tanker

Chemical engineers win national competition TU’s miniature car came closest to the target distance and was among the cheapest.

Matthew Magerkurth Staff Writer

The TU Chemical Engineering Car team took first place in the American Institute of Chemical Engineers (AiCHE) national competition at the Student Conference in San Francisco.

Led by team captain Jasmine Htoon and advisor Dr. Tyler Johannes, Tulsa edged out the Oklahoma State team in both the Norman regionals and the national competition to claim the prize for the first time since 2005.

By combining two batteries they had been trying separately, the team experienced more power than most teams did at minimal cost.

“It’s a $2000 spending limit on this car, so people build this thing the size of a shoebox that costs, like, $1300. Ours cost $150. So, we were in the top two cheapest cars, and we won,” says senior Weston Kightlinger, first-year team member.

The competition itself consists of two separate runs to determine the effectiveness of the drive mechanism and the brake mechanism, the two most basic considerations of automobile motion.

Each team brings their vehicle to the competition and is told an hour before the event how far their car needs to run. They then have that hour to calibrate their cars accordingly. The team with the run closest to the desired distance is the winner.

After a slow start on the first run, the Tulsa team was concerned about their vehicle. However, what they lacked in speed was made up for in precision.

“We had timed it exactly right, and it actually stopped three centimeters next to the line,” said Kightlinger. “Teams got as close as six centimeters, but they never got inside our three.”

The team’s second run didn’t go as smoothly. Due to a last-minute brake malfunction, the car never stopped. It did not affect the team’s victory, however—they still had the closest distance.

The victory includes a $2000 prize package for the chemical engineering department.

Chem-E students can get involved with the team by taking the required Reactor Design course, in which every student designs a car.

Every Chem-E student has to design a car for a reactor design course. Kightlinger designed the car in his class and decided to join the official team after going to the national conference last year and winning a paper competition.

“I think it’ll bring new assets fraternity reported unknown suspects had damaged a chiminea and overturned a grill in the back courtyard of the house. The investigation is pending.

Nov. 8 17:15 Officers on foot patrol in Mayo Village observed an unlabeled prescription pill bottle containing pills on the window sill of a student’s apartment.

Officers made contact with the student and explained it was illegal for medication to be contained in unmarked containers.

Nov. 10 0:15 Officers responded to the 5th Pl. House for a report of malicious mischief/vandalism.

Residents of the 5th Pl. House reported several shoes and clothing items had been slashed with a knife by a possible known suspect.

16:45 Officers responded with EMSA to an injured person in the DRC. The non-TU affiliated person lost their balance and fell, landing on the arena seats and hitting their head.

The person was able to walk out of the arena and was transported by a family to a local hospital for further treatment.

Nov. 11 13:30 Residents of the Pi Kappa Alpha

19:45 After investigating and reviewing video footage of Case Athletic, Officers were able to identify the person responsible for pulling a paper towel and soap dispenser off the wall of a bathroom in the Case Athletic Building.

Nov. 12 3:35 Officers responded to a fire alarm at the Reynolds Center. Upon arrival, Officers did not find any sign of smoke or fire and it was determined that there is a malfunction in the system and a work order was submitted.

to the program and hopefully get more kids involved in these extracurricular activities,” said Kightlinger, “where they can apply what they have learned in the classroom to some real problems right in front of them that they can then be rewarded for in competition.”

Africa SOMALIA A tropical cyclone and heavy floods in Somalia’s Puntland region have left at least 100 people and several thousands of livestock dead with many more without shelter, electricity and clean water.

“Knowing that livestock and fisheries are key livelihood activities in the affected regions, we anticipate the storm to heavily hurt coastal communities,” said Rudi Van Aaken, the acting head of the UN’s Food and Agricultural Orga-

nization in Somalia.

Relief trucks are having trouble reaching affected areas since flash floods have made many roads and air strips inaccessible.

Somalian President Hassan Sheikh Mohamud has promised $1 million to help the devastated region, and the UN has also pledged its support.

South America VENEZUELA Hundreds of people flocked to retail stores after Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro sent out troops to force shopkeepers to cut prices in an effort to deal with the country’s more than 50 percent inflation rate.

“We’re doing this for the good of the nation,” the president said, claiming that shop managers were waging an “economic war” against the country. The President also accused his political opponents of hoarding and speculation, and the internet of spreading panic.

Critics say that the President’s price control was an attempt to gain more votes for next month’s mayoral elections but that the measures would not help the economy.

“Every time he opens his mouth, he scares away the investments that create employment, and he worsens the crisis,” said opposition leader Henrique Capriles of President Maduro.

Courtesy Phillip Dixon

1:05 Officers on patrol witnessed a student stumbling and flapping their arms like a bird near Keplinger Hall.

Upon making contact, the student admitted to drinking alcohol at an unidentified fraternity house.

Officers determined the student was not of legal drinking age. The student was escorted back to their residence and met with a Housing staff member.

The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

University ranks in bottom third in sexual health Trojan’s annual Sexual Health Report Card ranked TU 99th out of 140.

Staff Report Trojan Brand Condoms released its annual Sexual Health Report Card this week, ranking 140 national universities based on sexual health resources. The University of Tulsa ranked 99, edging out Thursday’s football rival, Marshall University, by one spot. Working with the independent research firm Sperling’s BestPlaces, Trojan ranks student health centers on criteria including hours of operation, contraceptive and condom availability, quality of

sexual health information, sexual assault programming, STI testing and others.

This year, Princeton University took the top spot on Trojan’s list as well as U.S. News and World Report’s national university rankings.

Nearby schools the University of Texas, Oklahoma University and Oklahoma State University ranked 8th, 79th and 107th respectively n the Trojan list. Consistently ranked at the lowest place and there again this year was Brigham Young University.

TU has been falling consistently in Trojan’s rankings since 2011. It was ranked 79th in 2011 and 89th in 2012.

Agencies to discuss Okla. water regulation

16:40 Officers responded to a fire alarm at the 5th Pl. House. Upon arrival, Officers determined that a student using body spray activated the alarm.

Nov. 14

Apostolos Mangouras, who was found guilty of disobeying orders but not of any criminal acts.

“Nobody knows exactly what might have been the cause of what happened, nor what would have been the appropriate response to the emergency situation created by the Prestige’s breakdown,” said Judge Juan Luis Pía in defense of the ruling.

The Prestige, the 26-year-old oil tanker, split in half into the Atlantic and spilt 20 million gallons of oil into the Atlantic late Nov. 11 years ago, becoming Spain’s worst-ever environmental disaster.

“The court’s decision is absolutely scandalous,” Juan López de Uralde, a member of the Green party Equo, told the Guardian. “It is a kick in the teeth to all those people who went to help clean up the oil.”

The TU Chemical Engineering Car team calibrates its car in preparation for one of its two competitive runs. TU’s car excelled in its brake mechanism, finishing closer to the target line than any other car in the first round.

Nov. 13

11:05 The student who reported damage to their vehicle that was parked in the US West Lot came to Campus Security to provide additional information. The student reported that a friend had borrowed the vehicle without the student’s knowledge and damaged the vehicle while off-campus. The friend has offered to pay for the damages.

18 november 2013

On Nov. 14 at 1:05 a.m., officers spotted a student “stumbling and flapping their arms like a bird” near Keplinger. Our staff police artist, Jill Graves, was on the scene, and drew this sketch of the incident, accurate to the minutest detail.

Various Oklahoma environmental and law organizations will host an Oklahoma Environmental Agencies Roundtable on Friday, Dec. 6 from 10:30 a.m. until 1 p.m in John Rogers Hall in the Price & Turpen Courtroom on the University of Tulsa’s campus.

The roundtable’s primary subject matter is water quality regulation in Oklahoma.

“The agencies regulating water quality in Oklahoma made a number of significant changes in the past year or so,” said Assistant Dean Jason Aamodt. “Moreover, lots of folks are not aware that so many different agencies have a hand in water quality regulation.”

There will be eight speakers representing eight public organizations. The event will be moderated by Aamodt and Jeri Fleming, Environmental Programs Manager of the Oklahoma Conservation Commision.

The roundtable is free and open to the public. Lunch will be provided. RSVP to barbette-veit@utulsa.edu.

variety

18 November 2013

the Collegian : 8

By Anna Bennett

Things to Be Thankful For Ah, the Holidays. Smells like familial guilt and superfluous greeting cards, doesn’t it? And with finals and deadlines approaching much faster than you could ever imagine, it is hard to feel very cheery or thankful.

But no matter how bad things get, there’s always something to be thankful for.

the comforts of your mom’s cooking quite like extended doses of Sodexo for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

1. Your financial aid.

TU is expensive, but also generous. I know that I thank my lucky stars every day for my scholarships.

6. Your professors.

Sometimes things are a lot more bearable with an older, wiser person on your team. Shout out to my profs, yo.

2. Your friends. They are a blessing that should never be taken for granted.

7. All that stress. Yup, it sucks. But it shows that after all this time, you still give a darn, and that’s something. Never forget why it’s worth the stress.

3. Your family. Yes, they are annoying and dysfunctional. Yes, your grandmother smells like mothballs and has a mustache that tickles when she goes in for a kiss.

And yes, you would much rather be with your friends over the break.

But you are lucky to be able to go home, and surely you love a few of them. Or at least one. On a related note…

4. The caf food. Nothing makes you appreciate

5. All the mistakes you have made this past semester. They have made you who you are, and you, sir or madam, are awesome. Life is too short for regret.

8. Parking tickets. Isn’t it kind of great that all of the things you have to complain about are so silly? Lucky blighter.

9. Things unplanned.

Maybe nothing went quite how you imagined this semester. But just maybe, that impromptu movie night was way better than the elaborate plans that fell through.

10. The on-campus bar.

Yeah.

Battle of the chocolate stouts: England prevails!

beer Hailing from the United Kingdom, Colorado and Oregon, four chocolate stouts were pitted against one another in a blind taste test. Our tasters found that the winning Samuel Smith’s Organic Chocolate Stout maintained a creamy texture and tasted like actual chocolate.

Helen Patterson Non-beer Drinker

Kimberly Poff Stout Enthusiast

Leigh Taylor

Wannabe Sommelier Three out of three people in our blind taste test preferred Samuel Smith’s Organic Chocolate Stout over the other commercially available dark chocolate beers. Our taste test was comprised of three TU students who identified themselves as: a non-beer-drinker, a wannabe sommelier and a stout enthusiast.

We pitted Young’s Double Chocolate Stout, Great Divide Brewing Co.’s Chocolate Oak Aged Yeti, Rouge’s Chocolate Stout and Samuel Smith’s Organic Chocolate Stout against each other to find which chocolate beer reigned supreme.

All four are considered specialty beers and must be obtained at a bottle shop, although Young’s and the Organic can be purchased at McNellie’s and Kilkenny’s. We procured ours from Midtown Liquor.

Our tasters found that the win-

ning Samuel Smith’s Organic Chocolate Stout does in fact taste like liquid chocolate. The label proudly reads: “The gently roasted organic chocolate malt and real organic cocoa used in this ale impart a delicious, smooth and creamy character, with inviting deep flavors and a delightful finish”—an accurate statement. Moreover, the stout is USDA certified organic.

The Great Divide Brewing Co.’s Chocolate Oak Aged Yeti had a much thicker flavor, which may come off as burnt depending on the palate. The difference between it and the Organic is much like that between milk and dark chocolate.

The Yeti is significantly more bitter, and has much louder flavors.

For those looking for a beer that simply has a chocolate slant, but is not too sweet, the Young’s Double Chocolate Stout is the way to go.

The beer could have been mistaken for a pure stout, had it not had “chocolate” in its title. This is perhaps tantamount to naming a wine after one of its many component flavors. The chocolate is no more than a suggestion, as the predominate flavor is really coffee.

The lowest ranked beer was the Rouge’s Chocolate Stout. It certainly was not a bad beer by any means, as breweries adventurous enough to create a chocolate beer are already typically successful in many other areas. However, the beer was simply not as good a stout as the Young’s, and not as chocolaty as the Organic or the Yeti. Rouge is unimpressive in all respects, and let’s be honest, who has time for unimpressive beer?

Four chocolate beers went forth to duel Young’s, Yeti and Rogue were cool But the winner was clear: Organic chocolate beer!

Enjoy responsibly in school.

Photo courtesy DICE

Vehicles have always been an integral part of the Battlefield franchise, and “Battlefield 4” is no exception. In multiplayer, gamers are able to customize and control tanks, helicopters, jets and even boats in order to lay waste to their opponents. The availability of each vehicle depends on the selected map, and gamers are able to unlock a number of new features as they play.

Action-packed “Battlefield 4” successfully builds on predecessor Released on Oct. 29 for the PC, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360, DICE’s “Battlefield 4” is a worthy follow-up to 2011’s “Battlefield 3.” The latest installment in the series features dynamically changing multiplayer maps, new game modes and outstanding graphics.

Elliot Bauman Staff Writer

Electronic Arts’ biggest franchise is back in full force with a new title this year. “Battlefield 4,” developed by Sweden-based DICE, was released for the PC, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 on Oct. 29. At its core, “Battlefield 4” stands as a solid successor to 2011’s “Battlefield 3,” although the unusual amount of similarity between the two games may distress long-time fans of the series.

In many ways, “Battlefield 4” builds positively on the success of its predecessor, which in itself was a huge step forward from “Battlefield 2,” released in 2005. The franchise’s most notable feature is a large-scale, destructible, realistic map, and it has been greatly improved upon in “Battlefield 4.”

Moreover, DICE has done a truly remarkable job at creating interesting settings for multiplayer maps.

On “Hainan Resort,” teams will clash throughout a large abandoned luxury resort, spread out across an archipelago in the South China Sea. “Zavod 311” takes the fight to a tank factory in Russia, where players will engage opponents amidst large-scale manufacturing equipment. The game currently supports a total of 10 maps, ranging in scope from small, infantry-focused maps to enormous landscapes complete with tanks, helicopters and jets.

The multiplayer maps are further complemented by DICE’s new feature, dubbed “Levolution,” which allows for the maps to dynamically change as a result of player actions. For example, in Flood Zone, a standard urban map under normal conditions, teams have the option to destroy a nearby dam, which submerges the city in water and drastically changes the tactical nature of the battle.

“Battlefield 4” also re-introduces Commander Mode—last seen in 2006’s “Battlefield 2142”—to the series. This highly strategic

option enables players from each team to enter a real-time strategy view of the map, and take command of the team.

This mode allows the commander player to issue orders to squads, and to support his or her team with various assets such as supply drops, radar sweeps and missile strikes. Additionally, through a simple download, players can use Commander Mode on a variety of devices other than consoles and PC, such as tablets and smart phones.

The latest installment builds on its predecessor in a number of other ways. There are a plethora of new game modes added to the franchise, the most notable of which is Obliteration, where the opposing teams must destroy each other’s bomb sites while protecting their own.

DICE has also added a rather interesting mode titled “Defuse.”

This tactical variant features a condensed player count—two squads of eight—where teams must accomplish objectives. In this game mode players will be unable to respawn while completing objectives. In other words, downed players will not return to the action until the start of the new round.

In addition to these new game modes, traditional options such as Conquest, Rush and Deathmatch are still available.

Customization is better than ever in “Battlefield 4.” Players finally have the ability to select a weapon camouflage pattern, something present in the franchise’s main competition for quite a while. Camouflage patterns can also be added to vehicles, another first for the series.

There is also a huge variety of attachments for the hundreds of in-game weapons for players to unlock, ranging from various optics to muzzle components to grip configurations. Combat uniform customization, a feature added in “Battlefield 3,” has also been expanded.

One cannot review a Battlefield game without turning some attention to the presentation of the title.

Fans of the series will be pleased to learn that “Battlefield 4” continues the legacy set by its predecessors—the graphics and sound are top of the line in quality.

DICE’s attention to detail has really paid off, as the visuals and audio do a great job of immersing the player in the game world.

Of course, this experience varies heavily according to what platform the game is played on.

For all its positives, “Battlefield 4” is far from a perfect game, as a

number of issues hamper the title.

For one, due to the aged hardware of the current generation consoles, the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 versions of the title are severely limited.

The player limit is capped at 24, compared to 64 on the PC, the graphics are noticeably less attractive and the overall experience does not translate well to the current generation consoles. Fortunately, this issue will be somewhat alleviated when “Battlefield 4” comes to the next generation PlayStation 4 and Xbox One, after their respective launch dates.

The single-player experience does not fare well, either. After so many failed attempts to deliver a good solo-play campaign, DICE would most certainly be better off removing the idea entirely, instead focusing 100 percent of its efforts on multiplayer content.

“Battlefield 4’s” story involves a ridiculous plot that revolves around the United States and Russia teaming up in order to fight a Chinese military insurgency. The campaign ultimately condenses down to a horribly linear, repetitive, shooting gallery with some fancy explosions thrown in. To say that gamers who skip out on the story mode would not miss much is a drastic understatement.

Finally, perhaps one of the most unfortunate aspects of “Battlefield 4” is how similar it feels to the previous installment in the series. The jump from “Battlefield 2” to “Battlefield 3” was revolutionary and jaw dropping for fans of the franchise, and it really is a shame that such a success was not repeated in the transition from “Battlefield 3” to “Battlefield 4.”

Perhaps this shortcoming was due to pressure put on DICE by Electronic arts to ensure that the game launched in time for the salecritical holiday season, but it is impossible to tell for sure.

Cons aside, “Battlefield 4” is an outstanding game, and perhaps the best first person shooter of 2013.

Even better, DICE has confirmed continued support and new DLC well into 2015, so it is safe to say that the fans of the series will get to enjoy new content and an active game for quite a while.

For players that have a decent gaming PC, this title is definitely worth picking up. Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 gamers may want to wait until the next generation versions launch, as the current console variations do not do the game justice. “Battlefield 4” earns a superb 8.5/10 on the PC, and a 7.5/10 on the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3.

The Collegian wants to help your organization reach more people! Ask us about our reasonable rates.

Please contact elizabeth-cohen@utulsa.edu

opinion

the Collegian : 9

18 November 2013

Improve Our Tulsa important for city progress Through sales tax revenue, Tulsa’s administration is setting out to improve the city’s infrastructure.

Morgan Krueger

Apprentice Editor

On Nov. 12 residents of Tulsa voted to pass two propositions collectively titled “Improve Our Tulsa.”

The package passed with over 70 percent of voters supporting it and will bring positive infrastructural improvements to Tulsa.

The goal of this package is to allow Tulsa to maintain and repair current infrastructure without raising taxes. Streets bridges, parks and public safety equipment such as police and fire equipment are all on the list to receive repairs. Such repairs will aid Tulsa’s revitalization efforts.

These propositions were preceded by over nine months of public meetings with extensive input from city residents with the goal of understanding what the residents of Tulsa felt was vital and should be included in this city improvement package of 918 million dollars.

By gathering input from residents, this package will be able to

better provide the repairs that Tulsa’s population is looking for. This specific tailoring greatly helped the two propositions gain voter support.

A full 70 percent of Improve Our Tulsa is to be dedicated to repairing bridges and streets.

This makes Improve Our Tulsa the largest single street repair initiative in Tulsa’s history, something for Tulsa to be proud of.

Street repairs began in Tulsa in 2008 after the Fix Our Streets initiative. Now that this package has been passed, such street repairs will continue, and, in some areas, projects will be accelerated.

“It’s important for us to know that what we’re talking about here are basic investments to keep our city facilities in good care,” said former Tulsa mayor Rodger Randle, according to the Tulsa World.

“We’re not talking about anything exotic or whatever, when we’re talking about maintaining the basic infrastructure of our city, we’re really talking about saving money because repairs delayed are repairs made more expensive.”

In addition to such jobs, $70 million of the funds are for replacing fire and police department equipment, which will help make Tulsa a safer place.

Also affected are Tulsa’s animal shelter, the Tulsa Zoo, the Central Library, River Parks and over thirty neighborhood parks.

“This package … helps police

and fire and provides great amenities to attract young families and population to Tulsa, like the library, the zoo—important aspects of cultural and quality of life of our city,” said former mayor Kathy Taylor.

The funding for this package comes in two parts, with bonds and sales tax. Counterintuitively, taxes will not be raised.

The way this is able to happen is that Tulsa’s sales tax was scheduled to decrease by 1.167

percent. Proposition 2 lessened this decrease by 1.1 percent. Now the sales tax will only go down 0.067 percent, and the additional revenue will go towards funding Improve Our Tulsa.

Proposition 3 will raise additional funds for Improve Our Tulsa through its authorization of general obligation bonds, a type of municipal bond that allows the city to pay back the loan through public tax revenues, in the amount of $355 million.

“Tulsa voters made it clear that they support continued improvement in our community,” Tulsa Regional Chamber President Mike Neal said, according to the Tulsa World. “From the beginning, the Improve Our Tulsa campaign has been about addressing critical infrastructure and initiatives that keep Tulsa growing.”

Improve Our Tulsa is an important step in improving Tulsa and preparing the city for a brighter and better future.

Improve Our Tulsa Propositions 2 & 3: $918.7 million total (values in millions of dollars) 88 37.33 34.87 34.6

Street rehab Street widening Police Dept.

29.7

Ciy parks Fire Dept.

470

27.95

Public transit Bridges

23.9 23.4

Planning/economic development Bike/pedestrian infrastructure Other

148.95

Graphic by Jill Graves

In the two propositions that make up Improve Our Tulsa, almost a billion dollars will be raised through the sales tax to fund infrastructure and public works projects. The graph above shows the money allotted to different parts of the budget by the measure.

Activity fees not needed by SA for student orgs SA does not need student activity fees and should cut back on what it provides to organizations.

Kimberly Poff Staff Writer

The Student Association has a budget of nearly $800,000. Last year, nearly $200,000 of this went unspent. Each semester, TU students pay a $120 student activity fee, which was first assessed in 1995 by a vote of the students. This fee contributes $175,000 a semester to the SA budget.

The $200,000 rollover alone should justify a reduction in spending, but this is not the only rationale for the complete elimination of the student activity fee.

I understand that having a sense of community with other students fosters a productive and collaborative learning environment.

I also understand that one of the ways universities compete for new students is via the level of “campus involvement”—the availability of

clubs and organizations suited to niche interests.

As students, we pay tuition and fees and for room and board.

These funds all go towards fostering campus involvement. Housing and Dining alone hosts activities for students within various living communities to get to know each other better.

The remaining $450,000 in SA’s budget comes from the Office of the Provost, which is presumably funded by our tuition. I am certain that without the extra $350,000, SA could adequately fulfill its present duties: hosting Homecoming and Spring Fest, and the ensuing austerity requested of student organizations would cause them no great hardship.

A perusal of the minutes from an SA senate meeting reveals a majority of funds are spent on food for meetings or events which are explicitly social in nature, such as Christmas parties. If students are generally interested in the topic of the meeting, they will attend of their own volition.

Bribing students to come to meetings with free food is effective, but do students there for the food pay that much attention or contribute that much to the meeting? I would argue they don’t.

Graphic by Caroline Kohlhagen

I am a very involved student. I have certainly consumed my fair share of free Mazzios and currently own more than a reasonable number of free t-shirts. I, like many students, simply have these things because they are there. I am certain I would suffer no great void in my life should I not be provided with umpteen million tailgate parties. In fact, I have yet to

be convinced of the value of anything more intensive sports-wise than intramurals, but I digress.

Tuition is on the rise across the nation, and it is partially because universities are competing for students on the basis of non-academic criteria like dorms, grounds and activities. I am not advocating for the destruction of any of these—I am certain the other already astro-

nomical sums we pay would more than enable these enhancements of student life to go on unhindered. It would be a benefit to the University to be able to say they provide a vibrant campus without an activity fee.

Besides, if push came to shove, we could always promote solidarity the European way: by rioting in the streets for lower tuition.

Saudi women should have freedom of mobility pledge not to drive again.

Although Saudi Arabia does not specifically ban women from driving, it refuses to issue driver’s licenses to women.

However, all of the women who participated in the Oct. 26 camTara paign had driver’s licenses obtained abroad.

Grigson Recently, a Kuwaiti woman was Student Writer arrested on the Saudi Arabian border, because she was attempting to drive her incapacitated, diabetic father to the hospital. According According to Amnesty Interna- to the Kuwait Times, the woman is tional, “Saudi Arabia is the only still in custody.

Saudi reporter Tariq Alcountry in the world in which Mubarak was arrested for supwomen are not allowed to drive.” porting the movement. His friends Al Jazeera reports that more were informed they could pick than 15,000 people have shown him up, but upon their arrival, they support for a petition advocating were detained and questioned infor Saudi women’s right to drive. stead.

He was finally released on This was before the Oct. 26 camNov. 3, having been detained for paign in which approximately 60 over a week. women protested the ban by filmAl Jazeera reports that, in ading themselves driving in Saudi dition to being unable to move Arabia. about freely, women in Saudi AraAt least 16 of them were bia “need permission from a male stopped by police and were forced guardian to travel, work or marry. to wait until their male guardians They are also expected to wear a could come pick them up. Before headscarf and an abaya, a black they could go, they were made to

Gaining the right to drive would be a first step towards more equal rights for women in Saudi Arabia.

cloak covering the body.” Jasmine Bager, a Saudi woman, addressed the abaya in a Time article, indicating that wearing an abaya in the hot desert makes it impossible to walk anywhere.

And women cannot go anywhere after dark, when it is cooler, without a male guardian.

She also mentions that there is, “no form of acceptable public transportation available for women today.”

Although taxis are an option, Bager suggests that they are far from ideal, “since the common view is that the expat drivers tend to flirt with their passengers, and the Saudi cab drivers seem to gossip to their friends about the female passenger’s family name.”

Bager also mentions that “(a) common story was of a lone woman standing at her parked car, holding the car keys and her dying child—as no man was able to come in time to take her to the emergency room.”

However, many Saudi women do not want to drive. According to Haaretz, an Israeli newspaper, about 150 Saudi women have

started a Facebook group dedicated to supporting the laws that keep women from driving.

A Saudi man, Ahmed AbdelRaheem, blogging for The Guardian, suggests that according to an informal survey of Saudi women he conducted, “134 (out of 170) respondents said female driving is not a necessity and that it opens the door for sexual harassment…some also fear that it gives husbands a chance to betray…Even women who supported driving…stressed that their support has conditions.

Crucially they stipulated that there must be laws that deter men against sexual harassment…” Essentially, Abdel-Raheem is arguing that women do not want to drive not because they would not like more freedom, but because they perceive men as incapable of not committing sexual assault.

However, many Saudi men support the movement. According to the Kuwait Times, “A growing number of men are quietly helping steer the campaign, risking their jobs and social condemnation… men [play] a key role in helping wives, sisters and female friends

to enjoy what they believe is a fundamental right. They have helped protect female drivers by forming packs of two or three cars to surround them and ward off potential harassment.”

According to Amnesty International’s 2013 Saudi Arabia report, “Women continued to face discrimination in law and practice, and were inadequately protected against domestic and other gender-based violence … Discriminatory rules relating to marriage and divorce appeared to cause some women to remain trapped in violent and abusive relationships.”

Along these lines, there is major concern that one of the reasons women in Saudi Arabia have such big problems with violence is that they are unable to drive away: some women cannot go anywhere unless their abuser takes them.

No one is saying that Saudi women should be required to drive themselves—just that they should not be discriminated against because of their gender.

Women should absolutely have the same freedom of mobility as men.

18 november 2013 From ORU, cover

more flights into the library.

Sierra Forrest, our guide, took us down a long corridor with walls completely covered in mirrors.

She told us that this is the Hall of Mirrors. “What we want all of our students to do is to walk through these mirrors and symbolically see Jesus,” she said.

Symbolism plays an important part in ORU’s design conceit, as does Christian doctrine. Sierra told us that the Graduate Center is representative of the Temple of Solomon. Cityplex Towers, the trio of golden buildings adjacent to ORU’s campus and originally owned by the University, have heights corresponding to the

the Collegian : 10 tion deck is pierced by the tower’s main body, culminating in an eternally-burning flame at the Tower’s peak.

The Prayer Tower’s lower level contains a silent chapel, where students come to pray quietly or check out a small, private prayer room. At the far end of the chapel is a wooden cross. Here students can write their troubles onto small pieces of paper and “leave them at the Cross,” both literally and symbolically.

Sierra said that everything left at the cross is prayed over by ORU’s chaplains. The ORU community is expected to be very supportive of each other. Sierra told us that there are chaplains and academic

“Statues, gardens and architecture form a uniquely beautiful campus.” height, width and length of Noah’s Ark. The fountain in front of the Graduate Center is symbolic of God’s word flowing out into the world.

Next we were shown into the university’s chapel. Christ’s Chapel, as it is called, is large, white and oddly angled. In keeping with the university’s symbolism, this is meant to bring to mind the tents used in founder Oral Roberts’ nationwide revivals. “He did so much ministry in tents. Wherever they could set up a tent he would do a healing ministry or revival,” our guide said.

The Chapel contains enough seating to accommodate all of ORU’s 3,403 students. It must, as all full-time ORU students are required to attend Chapel on Wednesday and Friday at 11:00 a.m.

After being shown through a sample dorm room and a large, spacious student center containing the largest TV in the state, we were shown the Prayer Tower. The Prayer Tower is the most unique piece of architecture on ORU’s campus. A saucer-shaped observa-

advisors on each floor of ORU’s dorms, looking after the spiritual and academic well-being of the students.

The observation deck towers over the rest of ORU’s campus. Inspirational music plays softly, and both tourists and students are invited to walk around the observation deck and prayerfully reflect on the words of Oral Roberts, printed in seven different places on and around the circular walkway.

From the observation deck can be seen all the splendor offered by Oral Roberts University’s campus.

Statues, gardens and architecture form a uniquely beautiful campus, especially when seen from the vantage point of the Prayer tower.

The lifestyle expected of ORU’s students is much more strict than that of most other schools. All students must sign an “Honor Code Pledge,” stating that they will, among other things, abstain from tobacco, drugs and alcohol.

The honor code also states that the student must “not engage in or attempt to engage in any illicit, unscriptural sexual acts, which include any homosexual activity

and sexual intercourse with one who is not (their) spouse through traditional marriage of one man and one woman.” ORU also has a dress code, although it has been relaxed in recent years.

These policies have garnered much criticism among those who feel that the university’s rules are outdated and arbitrary, and may serve as a deterrent for many students from enrolling. For others, however, these rules are a matter of course.

For students, ORU’s draw is mostly religious. “I’m a Christian, and I wanted an education that would give me teachings from a biblical worldview,” said Nathan Tift, an ORU student. He, like many students, was drawn to ORU by its religious affiliations.

Another student, Bear Britt, said that ORU was not his first choice, but that God told him to apply. “As I was sitting there with the ACT website filling in all my information, I heard a whisper in my ear, saying that ‘you need to go ahead and select Oral Roberts University as well,’” Britt said.

A few days later, Britt got a phone call from the university requesting his transcript. After spending some time in prayer, he realized that God was calling him to attend Oral Roberts University.

Despite the differences in our campus’ cultures and our longstanding basketball rivalry, ORU’s students seem not to harbour any animosity toward TU. “It’s a wonderful university just down the road, honestly,” said Bear.

Sophomore Khari Johnson agreed, “I don’t really hear anything negative about it. Awesome school, and we’ve got some rivalry when it comes to sports.”

While the strict Christian lifestyle and highly moralistic honor code may seem overwhelming to some, ORU is a well-regarded university, especially among many Christian communities. Drawing students from 50 states and 72 countries, Oral Roberts University is a special place to those who call it home.

ORU’s campus contains some of the most memorable landmarks in Tulsa.

Top: ORU’s prayer tower contains a silent chapel, an observation deck and a perpetually burning flame at the top. Top-middle: The nearby Cityplex towers were originally owned by the university. Their heights correspond to the height, width and length of Noah’s Ark. Middle-left: The fountain in front of the Graduate Center represents the word of God pouring out into the world. It also has a flame constantly burning at its center. Middle-right and bottom-left: The Graduate Center is one of the main hubs of activity on ORU’s campus, containing the university library and the president’s office. This building is meant to represent the Temple of Solomon. Bottom-right: Christ’s Chapel is intended to look like the tents that Oral Roberts preached in before he founded the university.

All photos by Kyle Walker, Olivia Blankenship / Collegian

the Collegian : 11

18 november 2013

18 November 2013

the

The State-Run Media

State-Run media Shut up and consume your mass media like a good boy.

Hurricane passes on football game TU football opts for an equally meaningful and less strenuous alternative to the planned match against Marshall.

Matthew Magerkurth Virtual Football Expert

In light of their recent aversion to winning, the football team reportedly “didn’t feel like playing” Thursday night against Marshall, deciding instead to settle the match in an alternate contest.

“I mean, we’re just tired and we want to go home,” said offensive lineman Phaul Teeblocks. “At some point, there’s just no point.”

It’s been a rough season for the Golden Hurricane. The weary players, further demoralized by literally zero fans showing up for the game, petitioned for an alternative showdown.

The captains and coaches of both teams met and decided that the game would be played on NCAA Football 2014 for Xbox 360. By reporting the points

scored in the game to the press, the two teams were able to simulate real-time scoring updates. According to cornerback P’leez Dontro, it was “the most fun we’ve had playing football all year.”

“Yeah, we feel like this is a bold move, we’ll see how it works out for us,” said head coach Bill Blankenship.

The pizza-heavy evening with the Thundering Herd turned heated when the referees called unsportsmanlike conduct on defensive lineman Rob Stoofs when he took three slices of pizza on his first time through the line. A brief fight started but was quickly broken up, and Tulsa took the penalty on the video game. Citing that “we need a good, clean video game,” the referees kept their flags handy, but were reportedly also partaking in the pizza and beer.

At halftime, the stadium filled with students dying to hear the band’s Beyoncé medley. After the marching show, the audience headed home and the players good-naturedly returned to the locker rooms to finish the game.

Photo by David Kennedy / Graphic by Anna Bennett

TU and Marshall settle their Thursday contest with the help of an Xbox rather than athletic prowess. The biggest complaints from players were that there were not enough pepperoni pizzas and that the Bud Light could have been colder.

#

In light of the success of Oral Roberts University’s required student honor code, the University of Tulsa has decided to adapt its own honor code pledge. Please read and fill out this form and return to your RA by the end of the semester.

1. I PLEDGE to never sue the University of Tulsa, any of its faculty or students, or any of its affiliates, especially Sodexo. I will never badmouth Sodexo because of food poisoning or human rights violations.

2. I PLEDGE to never smoke hookah on or off the campus of the University of Tulsa. I will never carry my shisha around in order to impress my friends. I will stand at least 25 feet (7.62 meters) away from any corridor or doorway when I smoke cigarettes. I understand and believe that second-hand smoke does indeed exist.

3. I PLEDGE to not dirty rush any innocent freshmen, with the understanding that my Chubbies and Crokies privileges may be revoked after said infraction.

4. I PLEDGE to attend every University of Tulsa Golden Hurricane football game, knowing full well that my positive attitude and team spirit greatly influence the performance of the athletes.

5. I PLEDGE to embrace wherever housing places me to live, whether that be in a hotel downtown or the bathroom stalls of the John.

6. I PLEDGE to tithe at least, but not limited to, one-tenth of my annual income each year to the University of Tulsa. If, in the highly improbable case that I be unemployed, I surrender myself as an indentured servant to the Physical Plant.

7. I PLEDGE to actually do my course evaluations. But seriously.

It’ll only take me ten minutes, and it actually matters, so like, I’ll do them. REALLY, I’m serious, you guys. I’m going to do my course evals. I will not forget to do my course evals this time. But actually.

Signature (in blood): __________________________________ Jesse Keipp and Lizzie Connor

Graphics by Anna Bennett

Left: A rare Culturalappropriationmander was spotted in the Pearl District, where the species is now living quite comfortably. Right: A lost Stetsonchu lurks on 11th and Yale. Scientists say Stetsonchu evolves into Tengallonsaur. Reports are unconfirmed. Wilkins claims that these varieties, among others, were created by the same scientists responsible for the cloned trees on TU’s campus.

“Danger” takes T-Town by storm A loss in the mayoral race has not stopped Buzz “Danger” Wilkins’ attempts to change the face of Tulsa.

Fraser Kastner Anna Bennett Danger-ites

Readers from last week may remember the enigmatic mayoral candidate Buzz “Danger” Wilkins, whose promises included the banning of rain and the establishment of public works projects dedicated to anatomical correctness.

Few, however, have had the chance to speak directly to the man responsible for the Wilkins Initiative. I sat down with Wilkins at his estate and discussed his plans for the future.

In the cozy halls of the candidate’s estate, dubbed “Danger

Manor”, Wilkins expressed enthusiasm at the number of votes he received in the election. The 14 voters who voted “yes” to his campaign for mayor constituted a hefty 1400% of what his manager predicted.

“The fact that 14 whole people want me to be King of Tulsa makes me more committed to my grand plans than ever,” insisted Wilkins between bites of squirrel jerky.

He leaned in closer and finally admitted his ultimate plan: “I’ve convinced the northeast corner of Woodward Park to secede and make me their overlord.”

While the details of this shocking political maneuver are as shaky as the ex-painter’s tweaked-out gaze, several elements of the new city are already in motion. “We’re going to call it Dangertown!” exclaimed the new self-appointed

leader of the miniscule town. He congratulates his sound decision to claim for his own an area so concentrated with squirrel pelts.

Wilkins went on to explain in a babbling stream of nonsense that his “creations,” pokemon-style abominations styled after Wild West headgear, are already wandering the city streets. Wilkins, who is also a failed Western novelist, admits that they were never supposed to leave Dangertown, but hopes that the rest of Tulsa likes the critters.

King Danger, as Mr. Wilkins now wishes to be known, then stopped mid-sentence, scratched the rabbit-shaped scar on his left forearm, then asked if I wanted to see the pink lemonade fountain in his pleasure garden.

This reporter respectfully declined.

Perfect Pumpkin Pie! Anna Bennett

A regular Martha Stewart Impress your picky, obnoxious relatives AND have a little time for yourself with this easy pumpkin pie recipe! For best effect, bake this pie right before your company arrives.

What You’ll Need: 1 package cream cheese 2 cups canned pumpkin 1 cup sugar 1 handle of gin 1 egg plus 2 egg yolks, beaten 1 cup half-and-half 1 box of Kleenex A brave face 1/4 cup (1/2 stick) melted butter 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 set of ugly dishes 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger 1/4 teaspoon salt 1 oz. tequila 1 lime wedge 1 package pre-made pie dough Whipped cream 1 fifth of vodka Directions: 1. Combine cream cheese, pumpkin filling and sugar in a large mixing bowl. Mix until consistent.

2. When the filling starts to remind you too much of the bland and falsely sweet relationship you have with your parents, take the handle of gin into the nearest bathroom and drink all of it.

3. Now that the filling has had time to settle, separate 2 eggs from their yolks and combine with one whole egg, then beat together.

Why? Well, why the hell do you do anything, really? Why do you work so hard to impress your inlaws when you know they will never forgive you for losing your job? Why do you bother putting on pants in the morning? Just beat the damn eggs. Put the shitty egg mixture in with the shitty pumpkin mixture.

4. Regain your composure slightly and add the half-and-half, making sure to check that it is indeed half-and-half, not just expired milk.

5. When the half-and-half reminds you too much of your exhusband’s half-assed attempts to preserve your marriage, take the box of Kleenex and lock yourself in your closet for an hour.

6. Drunk-call your ex from college and say lots of things you’ll regret later. This step is extra effective if you end up on speaker phone drunkenly talking about “that one time behind the stadium” in front of his wife and kids.

7. Put on a brave face and silently leave the closet, pushing your shame further and further into your subconscious.

8. Melt ½ stick of butter. Add to filling mixture alongside vanilla.

9. When the vanilla reminds you of the way your ex-husband used to describe your personality to his girlfriend Kandy, remove the set of ugly dishes from the cabinets and throw them all against the

kitchen wall.

10. Leave the dish fragments there for several hours. Secretly hope that Kandy steps on them with her stupid whore feet when she comes to dinner.

11. Combine cinnamon and ginger in a superfluously tiny bowl.

Add to mixture.

12. I guess you should probably preheat the oven now or whatever.

So do that. Imagine putting your ex-husband’s head in there alongside the pie.

13. While the oven heats, take a shot of tequila, adding salt and finishing with a lime if you’re feeling extra classy.

14. Dump the pie filling into a pre-made crust, because dammit, you don’t have time to make crust from scratch. Who do they think you are, Martha Fucking Stewart?!

Judgemental bitches.

15. Bake the damn pie for an hour.

16. While the pie bakes and then cools, clean up the giant mess you made in the kitchen, secretly hating yourself for even now refusing to lose face in front of your relatives.

17. Put as much whip cream as you want on the pie.

18. Distribute the fifth of vodka throughout the house in small, subtle containers so you can drink all night without your relatives noticing.

19. Get ready to enjoy your holiday dinner! Happy Fucking Thanksgiving.