Tucson Weekly 12/27/2012 by Tucson Weekly

DECEMBER 27, 2012–JANUARY 2, 2013 WWW.TUCSONWEEKLY.COM • FREE

DECEMBER 27-JANUARY 2, 2013, 2012 VOL. 29, NO. 45

OPINION OPINIO Tom Danehy Daneh 4 The new album by The Chromatics is among our critics’ favorites for 2012.

Ryn Gargulinski 6 Jim Hightower 6 Mailbag 8

CURRENTS The Skinny 9 By Jim Nintzel and Mariana Dale

Demolition Dilemma 9 By Tim Vanderpool

The $71 million question: How much should Broadway Boulevard be widened? Media Watch 10 By John Schuster

A Strange Trip 11 By Mari Herreras

Everyone agrees: 2012 was not TUSD’s finest year Weekly Wide Web 12 Compiled by David Mendez

Police Dispatch 12 By Mariana Dale

Help Wanted 13 By Inés Taracena

Any mistakes this week are the new guy’s fault.

For local day-laborers, the Southside Worker Center offers safety and community 2012: A Real Cliffhanger! 14 By Leo W. Banks and Jim Nintzel

47 percent of you are going to love our year in review

You Need Local Media For 520 or so issues of the Tucson Weekly, the editor’s chair has offered me an interesting vantage point on Tucson media. I have watched various sources come (TucsonSentinel.com) and go (the Tucson Citizen). I have watched other media slowly wither away. (The Arizona Daily Star today is a fraction of what it was in the earlymid aughts.) Yet other media have continued on with strength (KXCI FM 91.3 and—despite management issues—Arizona Public Media). Overall, the loss of the Citizen and the deterioration of the Star have meant that nowhere near as much journalism is being done in this town as there was in 2003, when I started at the Weekly. Proportionally, the Weekly has become a much-bigger fish in this figurative pond. That’s great, in some ways, for those of us at Weekly World Central, but it’s not good for Tucson. We do a lot here—but we can only do so much. Therefore, I ask you to please heed my final plea: Support your local media. If people don’t support local media, local media will die, and all sorts of great stories won’t get covered—while wrongdoing won’t get uncovered. This town needs the Weekly, the Star, the Explorer, KXCI, the TV stations, Arizona Public Media, TucsonSentinel.com and the other media to keep telling stories, to keep shining a mirror on Tucson, to keep pointing out bullshit and shenanigans. Do what you can to support these organizations. If you don’t like the management, that’s fine, but don’t let that stop you from sending a reporter who does a good story an encouraging note. Send TucsonSentinel.com and KXCI a few bucks. Patronize Tucson Weekly advertisers. Send Dan Gibson, who will be sitting in the Weekly editor’s chair from now on (and who will do a dang fine job, by the way), good story tips. Just support your local media. Please. Thanks to all of you for the support over the last 10 years. And, as always, thanks for reading the Tucson Weekly. JIMMY BOEGLE, Editor jboegle@tucsonweekly.com COVER DESIGN/ILLUSTRATION BY GARY SMATHERS

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CULTURE

CHOW

City Week 20 Our picks for the week

Quaint Café 41

New Year’s Eve Guide 22

Amelia Grey’s has brought charm, fresh food and even high tea to Campbell Avenue

TQ&A 28 Ethel Luzario, 3000 Club

Noshing Around 41

PERFORMING ARTS

MUSIC

City Week Listings 33

VISUAL ARTS Different Dimensions 35

By Rita Connelly

By Jerry Morgan

Top Picks 47 By Gene Armstrong, Casey Dewey and Jarret Keene

Our music critics review the best of the year gone by

By Margaret Regan

The Tucson Museum of Art offers a taste of Matisse, atypical paintings

BOOKS Moody Metaphors 36 By Jarret Keene

Poet Jefferson Carter offers a dark worldview in Get Serious

CINEMA A Heart Full of Love 37 By Bob Grimm

Soundbites 47 By Stephen Seigel

Club Listings 50 Nine Questions 52 Live 53 Rhythm & Views 54

MEDICAL MJ Shame and Mary Jane 55 By J.M. Smith

Les Misérables sets a new bar for movie musicals

J.M.’s question: Should he come out of the closet to his mom as a pot-smoker?

Film Times 38

CLASSIFIEDS

Lackluster Spaghetti 39

Comix 56-57 Free Will Astrology 56 ¡Ask a Mexican! 57 Savage Love 58 Personals 60 Employment 61 News of the Weird 62 Real Estate/Rentals 62 Mind, Body and Spirit 63 Crossword 63 *Adult Content 58-60

By Colin Boyd

Despite Tarantino’s trademark violence and snappy dialogue, Django Unchained is not one of his best Now Showing at Home 40

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DANEHY OPINION

Tom looks back at his 2012 faves—and gets ready to blog!

WWW.TUCSONWEEKLY.COM P. O. BOX 27087, TUCSON, AZ 85726 (520) 294-1200

Thomas P. Lee Publisher

BY TOM DANEHY, tdanehy@tucsonweekly.com

EDITORIAL Jimmy Boegle Editor Dan Gibson Editor in Training Jim Nintzel Senior Writer Irene Messina Assistant Editor Mari Herreras Staff Writer Linda Ray City Week Listings David Mendez Web Producer Margaret Regan Arts Editor Stephen Seigel Music Editor Bill Clemens Copy Editor Tom Danehy, Renée Downing, Ryn Gargulinski, Randy Serraglio, J.M. Smith Columnists Colin Boyd, Bob Grimm Cinema Writers Rita Connelly, Jacqueline Kuder, Jerry Morgan Chow Writers Sherilyn Forrester, Laura C.J. Owen Theater Writers Contributors Jacquie Allen, Gustavo Arellano, Gene Armstrong, Sean Bottai, Rob Brezsny, Max Cannon, Rand Carlson, Mariana Dale, Michael Grimm, Jim Hightower, David Kish, Keith Knight, Anna Mirocha, Andy Mosier, Dan Perkins, Ted Rall, Dan Savage, John Schuster, Chuck Shepherd, Eric Swedlund, Inés Taracena, Tim Vanderpool, Christine Wald-Hopkins SALES AND BUSINESS Jill A’Hearn Advertising Director Monica Akyol Inside Sales Manager Laura Bohling, Michele LeCoumpte, Alan Schultz, David White Account Executives Jim Keyes Digital Sales Manager Beth Brouillette Business Manager Robin Taheri Business Office Florence Hijazi, Stephen Myers Inside Sales Representatives NATIONAL ADVERTISING VMG Advertising (888) 278-9866 or (212) 475-2529 PRODUCTION AND CIRCULATION Andrew Arthur Art Director Laura Horvath Circulation Manager Duane Hollis Editorial Layout Kristen Beumeler, Kyle Bogan, Jodi Ceason, Shari Chase, Chris De La Fuente, Anne Koglin, Adam Kurtz, Matthew Langenheim, Kristy Lee, Daniel Singleton, Denise Utter, Greg Willhite, Yaron Yarden Production Staff

Tucson Weekly® (ISSN 0742-0692) is published every Thursday by Wick Communications at 3280 E. Hemisphere Loop,Tucson, Arizona. Address all editorial, business and production correspondence to: Tucson Weekly, P.O. Box 27087,Tucson, Arizona 85726. Phone: (520) 294-1200, FAX (520) 792-2096. First Class subscriptions, mailed in an envelope, cost $112 yearly/53 issues. Sorry, no refunds on subscriptions. Member of the Association of Alternative Newsmedia (AAN).The Tucson Weekly® and Best of Tucson® are registered trademarks of Wick Communications. Back issues of the Tucson Weekly are available for $1 each plus postage for the current year. Back issues from any previous year are $3 plus postage. Back issues of the Best of Tucson® are $5. Distribution: The Tucson Weekly is available free of charge in Pima County, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies of the current issue of the Tucson Weekly may be purchased for $1, payable at the Tucson Weekly office in advance. Outside Pima County, the single-copy cost of Tucson Weekly is $1. Tucson Weekly may be distributed only by the Tucson Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or Tucson Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of the Tucson Weekly, take more than one copy of each week’s Tucson Weekly issue.

n 2012, a year in which Americans restored my faith in America, these were a few of my favorite things. (As always, I’m not saying that these things are the best. Those determinations are made by people who are paid to be pompous, pedantic and pontificating. I’m only paid to be pugnacious and to piss people off.) • Favorite Book: I loved Nate Silver’s The Signal and the Noise. I got a digital subscription to The New York Times just so I could read Silver’s FiveThirtyEight blog. (I got some of my nerdier friends to read it when the paywall was down in the aftermath of Superstorm Sandy.) Aside from the president, Silver was probably the biggest winner of the 2012 election. Up until the very last minute, Republicans were blasting his work as left-wing propaganda, but he absolutely nailed it. Some are even suggesting that all of the networks will have their own personal Nate Silvers in 2016. Except Fox, which is anti-science, so it must be anti-math as well. In his book, Silver starts off by explaining the difference between risk (which can be quantified) and uncertainty, which is nebulous. He then pokes holes in the entire notion of punditry, and from there, he moves to all sorts of esoteric themes involving math and other stuff. The book is a nerd’s dream come true. • As for the Book I Wish I Hadn’t Read, that has to be The One: The Life and Music of James Brown, by RJ Smith. I’ve seen James Brown in concert more times than any other act. I was constantly amazed at his fire and fury, and he always brought the funk. After reading this book, I can overlook his political dalliance with Richard Nixon in 1972, but his lifelong mistreatment of women cannot be forgiven. He beat the crap out of Tammi Terrell and countless other women, and I don’t want to hear, “Oh, that’s just the way he was brought up.” I shrug if an artist is a drug-addict or an alcoholic or a serial cheater, but I don’t if he’s a beater of women. I can’t rip into Chris Brown and then overlook the same behavior by James Brown. When I finished the book, I got Star Time (the James Brown box set) and James Brown Live at the Apollo out of my car and threw them in a box in the garage. • Favorite Number: 47. If you saw it in a movie, you’d absolutely cringe at the forced irony. But in real life, to have Mitt Romney’s campaign partially undone by his ludicrous fundraising talk about the “47 percent” who are anchors around the necks of the “makers,” and then have Romney end up with 47 percent of the vote … that’s priceless. • Other Favorite Political Number(s) of the Year: According to James Carville, who really, really knows about

RANDOM SHOTS By Rand Carlson

Copyright: The entire contents of Tucson Weekly are Copyright © 2012 by Wick Communications. No portion may be reproduced in whole or part by any means without the express written permission of the Publisher, Tucson Weekly, P.O. Box 27087, Tucson, AZ 85726.

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this stuff, the Obama campaign paid about $6 million to its top political consultants during the election campaign. Meanwhile, the Romney campaign shelled out $134 million for its top consultants. And their pitch was that a businessman shall lead them to fiscal sanity. • Favorite Movie: As I mention every year, I almost never go to the movie theater any more, mostly because I don’t want to pay $10 to read other people’s text messages. I only saw four or five movies at the theater this year. I saw the Bourne movie, which would have been pretty good if it was a stand-alone, but compared to the first three, it pales to the point of translucence. I saw The Avengers, which would have really impressed me at the age of 10. I saw the Obama hit-piece 2016, by that sanctimonious D’Souza guy, who, as it turns out, was cheating on his wife. (Don’t you just love it?!) And I saw Argo, which was really, really good. If living well is the best revenge, then being very good at something (in this case, directing) is Ben Affleck’s best revenge on all the haters. While the word is that it’s going to be swept aside by Zero Dark Thirty come Oscar time, Argo is still wonderful. • Favorite CD: I loved Gary Clark, Jr.’s Blak and Blu, which was kinda all over the place musically, and I really liked Frank Ocean’s channel ORANGE, but I guess I’m officially old now, because neither one could top Bonnie Raitt’s Slipstream or Donald Fagen’s Sunken Condos. I could listen to Fagen’s churning R&B ditty “Weather in My Head” all day long and never get tired of it. • Favorite Song: There’s a white rapper from Seattle named Macklemore. He has a song, with Ryan Lewis, called “Same Love” that is a scathing indictment of the homophobia that rages through hiphop music. It’s absolutely brilliant. Listen to it just once, and you’ll feel like a better person. The lyrics are unbelievable, and the musical interlude, sung by Mary Lambert, of “I can’t change, even if I tried / even if I wanted to,” is magical. • Favorite TV Show: I love Breaking Bad, Episodes and Justified. I like The Big Bang Theory and Modern Family, but I guess my favorite is Sherlock from the BBC. For more about it, see my TV blog on The Range at daily.tucsonweekly.com. Yes, I said “blog.”

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GARGULINSKI OPINION

Fear this: People’s penchant for paranoia can make life a real drag HIGHTOWER

BY RYN GARGULINSKI, rgargulinski@tucsonweekly.com

BY JIM HIGHTOWER

ONE NEWSPAPER DEFIES THE CONVENTIONAL WISDOM

he world did not end on Dec. 21, as all of the fear-fueled hype predicted. Damn. Although doomsday has seemingly come and gone with nary a hiccup in the overall scheme of things, don’t worry—there is still plenty to fear. Society makes sure of it. Ours has become a paranoid lot, fearing everything from the sun that shines upon us to the very air we breathe. Fueled by misinformed Internet postings, random rumors, hyped-up headlines and our neighbor’s offhand remark, we become consumed by terror. What a crummy way to live. Paranoid parents raise their kids in captivity. Women get both their breasts removed as a preventive cancer treatment “just in case.”

Let us address the declining fortunes of today’s mainstream mass media. (Yes, I can hear your pained screams: “Nooooo … we don’t want to!” However, we really must, because it’s not about them, but us—about our ability to be at least quasi-informed about who’s doing what to On the local level, we see fears fueled all over the place. whom and why, in order for us to be a selfStrict anti-smoking laws fuel the fear that a single puff of governing people. So buckle up, and here secondhand smoke will instantly send us, our children, our we go.) pets and our houseplants to an early grave. The honchos of America’s newspaper Ridiculously low speed limits reinforce the fear of driving establishment are quick to blame the at speeds that actually get you somewhere quicker than a Internet for their loss of readers, not noticthree-toed sloth. Automated supermarket checkouts mean ing that their own product has fallen victim to conventional wisdomitis. This affliction we’ll all lose our jobs to robots! Erecting a border fence will leaves them printing little more than the make all migratory wildlife extinct! contrived “wisdom” of the corporate powWhile common sense makes total sense when it comes to ers—and that’s not a big selling point with keeping ourselves, our kids, our pets and our houseplants readers. safe, there is a big, fat line between living cautiously and Ironically, this narrow perspective not living in a paranoid frenzy. The latter is not living at all, but only saps their sense of what’s “news,” but merely existing in a state of all-consuming horror that can also their business sense. For example, with result in high stress levels and, eventually, an all-consuming readership declining, the accepted industry heart attack. response by owners and publishers is to fire With this kind of paranoia going on, the end of the world beat reporters, shrink the news hole, reduce could be a welcome relief. reporting to rewrites of wire-service articles, Part of the problem is laziness. Few actually bother to and run hokey PR campaigns hyping the check the facts behind the fears, finding it much easier to shriveled product as “Real News.” But here’s some real news they might want to consider: The new THIS MODERN WORLD By Tom Tomorrow owners of The Orange County Register are blazing a contrarian path toward reviving their paper’s prosperity. Editor Ken Brusic notes that offering less to subscribers and charging more not only is a rip-off and an insult to readers, but a sure path to failure. “So,” he says, “we’re now offering more,” expanding the Register’s newsroom, its coverage, and the paper’s size. Gosh: Hire real watchdog reporters; dig out real news; and make the paper relevant to local readers—what a novel notion for a news business! Of course, the conventional wisdomites are sneering: “It’s not what most people are doing,” said one. Exactly—and that’s why it’s so promising.

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believe the swirling hype. The hype is further reinforced if it comes from supposedly trusted sources, and gains even more credibility if other people already believe it. A major case in point comes from the sporadic yet ongoing worldwide movement to ban the horrific-sounding “dihydrogen monoxide.” Playing on people’s fears that all chemicals are bad, bad, bad, and banning them is good, good, good, the issue of restricting the use of dihydrogen monoxide has popped up all over. It’s been on numerous petitions, was on an agenda of concerns of a New Zealand member of Parliament, and once nearly came up for a vote at a City Council meeting in Aliso Viejo in Orange County, Calif. The colorless, odorless, tasteless dihydrogen monoxide has, in fact, been linked to thousands of deaths over the years. It can also certainly cause death if those who have become dependent on it are forced to withdraw from it. Dihydrogen monoxide is water. People could have poked beneath the doomsday hype to find out what researchers such as New Mexico State University anthropologist Weldon Lamb already knew. “There’s no Maya prophecy that suggests that at any period, the world is going to end,” Lamb says in the El Paso Times. He also notes the hype-monsters often didn’t even bother to use the correct calendar while dispensing their hype. “Just about any book or show that talks about 2012 talks about the Maya calendar, and then they show the so-called Aztec calendar,” Lamb tells the paper. “So basically, it’s sensationalism and ignorance, an opportunity to make money. It’s just one of those amusing things that the ‘fast-tomake-a-buck people’ do.” While we’re at it, we may as well also point out a study conducted by the University of Michigan’s Comprehensive Cancer Center regarding double breast removals as preventive treatment. “The study revealed 70 percent of breast-cancer patients that receive a double mastectomy don’t have a clinical reason for having the procedure done,” according to AnnArbor.com. “Many women research treatment options online before talking with a surgeon.” The publication quotes the medical school’s Dr. Michael Sabel: “All it takes is one person to say, ‘I wish I had just had both breasts removed.’” And overprotecting your kids? Various studies on that one show it decreases children’s “emotional resilience,” boosts their fears of failure and can even cause complete mental breakdowns. Yes, mental breakdowns—in children. If you want something to fear, that’s a good one. Or you can go another route, and stop fearing—so you can start living. Life is way too short to be wrapped up in worry, even if it is destined to last a bit longer than the doomsday predictions said.

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A Letter in Defense of SaddleBrooke The “Stereotypical SaddleBrooke People” article by Inés Taracena (Get Out of Town! Dec. 13) was a little on the cruel side. I have lived in SaddleBrooke for 13 of the last 17 years and do not recognize this depiction of a typical SaddleBrooke resident at all. I don’t find them to be a mean, greedy, unsmiling bunch who hate young people. Shoot, we all wish we were young again; we love visiting with the kids and grandkids; and we are trying to stay active and healthy. And the six-digit bank account has long ago been blown on all the purchasing trips into Tucson—trips that help keep the local economy going strong. Politically, yes, there were a lot of unhappy faces after the recent election; one couple even had the audacity to fly the flag upside down the day after. But there is also an active Democratic club here, too. So before you run us out of town, you may want to think a little about the dozens of local workmen who come into SaddleBrooke daily; the local restaurants, banks, stores, etc. that get so much business from us; the school districts that get our volunteering help; and the many charitable groups here. Oh, and by the way, even though we have a Tucson address, SaddleBrooke is in Pinal County, so in that sense, we are already out of town. Mike Christiansen

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Save Jobs by Avoiding Self-Checkout Using self-checkout means fewer jobs and higher unemployment (Get Out of Town! Dec. 13). Remember gas-station attendants? Probably not. What did the loss of gas-station attendants do to the unemployment rate? Rude, impatient people should get out of town. However, everyone should check out with a person. Why? In many cases, those checkout jobs are the last of the union jobs with fair pay and benefits. What happens to unemployment rates when the stores no longer need checkout employees? My brothers got college help as a benefit when they were union baggers in high school at the Jewel grocery store. When I have just a few items and am told I might want to use self-checkout, I always explain that I prefer to save jobs. Sometimes, other customers join me in line. Christina Farnsworth

Self-Checkout Is a Poor Option for People With Reusable Bags I hope Irene Messina will reconsider her wish to rid Tucson of people who are averse to the self-checkout lanes at grocery stores. As some-

one who likes to bring reusable shopping bags to stores, I find the self-checkout lanes poorly designed to accommodate me. If I don’t put the first item I scan into one of their bags (a wasteful, single-use plastic bag), they won’t let me proceed with my other items. I could always bag my items that way, and then transfer them to my reusable bag later, but why should I bother? I’d rather go to a staffed checkout lane and know that my transaction requires one more paid employee to complete. I’d rather decrease my waste and create jobs—even if it annoys people like Irene Messina. Matt Peters

Tucson Salespeople Are Awesome! Regarding “Inept Salespeople” by Ryn Gargulinski (Get Out of Town! Dec. 13): This has surely not been my experience in Tucson. I’m a 60-something gringo who wears Adidas, Levi’s and T-shirts with graphics. Back in Connecticut, if I walked into, say, a store selling trendy clothing, comic books or luxury cars, I was invisible. In most stores, one had to shake the staff awake to buy something. In Tucson, everywhere I shop, I am greeted by a friendly sales person who knows what they’re selling. Example: I had a shelf-stocker in a supermarket explain to me the amount of suds generated by various detergents. My theory is that in a low-wage place like this, sales jobs are “real jobs,” not time-fillers, and people want to excel at their “real jobs.” And so they do. By the way, this also goes for waiters and busboys. Thanks to the unsung Corporals of Industry! David P. Kelly

Smoking Restrictions Are Karmic Payback for Reefer Madness One of the best examples of “what goes around comes around,” other than Richard Nixon, is the clamping down on cigarettesmokers, either when they smoke indoors or out (Gargulinski, Nov. 29). It was the alcohol and tobacco industries, along with others, who fought to make marijuana illegal back in the 1930s. So here we have, in the 21st century, smokers being told when and where to smoke. Ain’t it wonderful to see karma in action? Judy Hubbard

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CURRENTS

THE SKINNY

The $71 million question: How much should Broadway Boulevard be widened?

IN THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON

Demolition Dilemma ondemned by contrasting notions of progress, the empty buildings dot Broadway Boulevard’s northern flanks like a melancholy death row, their windows vacant, their signs faded into oblivion. Purchased by the city over the past two decades, they’ve long been slated for demolition, collateral damage in an ambitious plan to widen Broadway between Euclid Avenue and Country Club Road. But these woebegone properties recently won a reprieve, of sorts, when a citizens’ task force challenged whether Broadway’s remaking must include an expansion dooming them to demolition. Instead, the task force is compelling a fresh definition of what voters were seeking in 2006, when they approved this project as part of a sweeping, 20-year regional transportation plan. The vast nature of that plan left out much of the fine print—such as the fact that the supposed need for widening Broadway to 150 feet is based on 25-year-old, potentially flawed traffic projections. Or that such construction will lead to the demolition of more than 100 homes, businesses and historic properties. Then there’s the price tag: Total budgets for the project top $71 million, with $42 million of that coming from the Regional Transportation Authority; $25 million from Pima County transportation bonds; $1.2 million from the Pima Association of Governments; and $3 million from the city of Tucson. Into that breach has stepped the task force, which finds itself in the midst a political fracas over competing visions of Broadway. One vision sees the arterial as a vast sea of concrete. The other imagines a corridor with mass transit, welcoming to walkers and bicyclists, and narrow enough that the thriving business district on its north side won’t be totally decimated. In the meantime, however, buildings along that north side continue to deteriorate. Even those still inhabited are starting to decline, with their owners showing little appetite for renovating properties that may be paved over. This conundrum has not gone unnoticed by Tucson City Councilman Steve Kozachik, whose Ward 6 encompasses the Broadway project. Several weeks ago, he commenced an aggressive push to have the city-owned buildings put to good use by renting them out. But he quickly discovered that few businesses want to rent buildings with such a shaky future. To Kozachik, the city needs to either make a decision now to widen Broadway, or choose to keep it within the current boundaries. He sees the alternative—leaving these buildings and

their owners in limbo for another year—as no alternative at all. Kozachik blasted his first hole in the status quo on Dec. 7, when he persuaded the council to transfer right-of-way acquisition funds—currently around $2 million—to the design and planning aspects of Broadway’s facelift. While that’s gravy to the legion of consultants feeding off this project, it also means there’s no more money for the city to buy squat. But old habits die hard; the Broadway task force’s Dec. 13 meeting began with a consultant describing how the city would buy properties that are blocking progress: These purchases can be voluntary, or forcible through eminent domain. Rocco DiGrazia glanced at a glossy acquisition pamphlet put out by the city. DiGrazia owns the popular Rocco’s Little Chicago Pizzeria on Broadway’s precarious north side, and represents fellow business people as a task-force member. He leafed through the pamphlet, promising to share it with his colleagues. That prompted Colby Henley to uncross his arms and sit up. Henley represents the Rincon Heights Neighborhood, sandwiched between Broadway and Sixth Street. “I would just ask, Rocco, that when you provide these, just explain that it’s not a foregone conclusion that any acquisition’s going to happen,” he said. “Oh, I always tell them that,” DeGrazia replied. Soon came a caveat from Broadway projectmanager Jenn Toothaker Burdick. “This project started out with a 150-foot right-of-way alignment,” she said. “It was something that was approved in 1987, and again through the 2006 RTA vote. “But the process we’re undergoing right now is not limited to only looking at that,” she continued. “We’re all really looking at what is the mostappropriate thing to put in this 2-mile segment that meets the function of what Broadway is.” In the audience, Kozachik was apoplectic. Eventually, he handed me a note intimating that this dance over Broadway’s future width needed to stop. “Nobody has any incentive to invest in their property with that potential ‘taking’ hanging over their head,” he wrote. “We’ve created blight by already buying nearly $7 million in property.” Contacted later by phone, the councilman was still fired up. “What’s pissing me off so much is they keep talking about eminent domain, and the public purpose,” he said. “But there is no public purpose until you’ve identified the need, and you can’t do that until you’ve established the cross-width of the corridor. It’s completely bass-ackwards.” Nonetheless, one big hurdle has been breached: Ever since the task force convened, the RTA has

TIM VANDERPOOL

BY TIM VANDERPOOL, tvanderpool@tucsonweekly.com

Woebegone properties on Broadway Boulevard could get a reprevieve. issued veiled threats to withhold its $42 million unless the project meets the threshold of “functionality” as defined in the 2006 bond vote. Until recently, functionality was seen as a boulevard expanded to a width of 150 feet. However, now even the RTA is beginning to bend. “We’ve never asserted that ‘150-foot’ is necessarily the be-all, end-all number,” said RTA transportation director Jim DeGrood by phone. “We think we need to have an appropriate amount of right of way for whatever the facility is that we begin building.” In an earlier interview, however, DeGrood had been far more cagey about what might happen should the task force stray too far from the 2006 mandate. “From our standpoint, we have to go back and reconcile that against what we presented to the voters,” he said. When I called Toothaker Burdick after the meeting, she cautioned against Kozachik’s goal of forcing a quick decision. Determining a width for Broadway “is the endgame,” she said. “Part of the reason we created the task force was to evaluate the criteria. They have a lot of work to do, and we have to give them the time to do it.” Meanwhile, some of the Broadway properties already purchased by taxpayers sit empty. And it seems the city’s buying spree could not have ended too soon; just last year, it picked up a former Allstate office on the 1200 block of East Broadway for just more than $218,000. Word is that few buyers seemed interested after learning that the building could face condemnation. After that, the property’s value went into the tank. In the end, I’m told, the owner got lowballed by the city. Call it collateral damage.

The end (of the year) is nigh, so you’re running out of time to take advantage of the state’s charitable tax credit to help the least fortunate. Here’s how it works: You give $200 (or $400 for a married couple filing jointly) to a charity that aids the working poor. Then you get the money back next year when you file your taxes. It’s a way of directing some of your taxes directly to the nonprofits that help those in need. You can find a complete list of qualifying agencies and more details about the working-poor tax credit at azdor.gov/ TaxCredits/WorkingPoorTaxCredit.aspx. Here are a handful of recommendations if you’re wondering about where to dish out a few bucks in the spirit of the season. • The Community Food Bank of Southern Arizona continues to see demand rise. From January to November, the Food Bank assisted nearly 807,000 individuals by providing food boxes and other services. Community Food Bank President and CEO Bill Carnegie says donations are down from last year, while demand is up by about 10 percent. That leaves the Food Bank about $400,000 short of what it needs to continue to provide services. Here’s a bonus: Contributions to the Food Bank will be matched dollar for dollar via grants from auto dealer Jim Click and the Peebles family. While cans of food are always appreciated, cash contributions can do more to feed the hungry, says Sio Castillo, major-gift officer for the Food Bank. “Every dollar that’s donated, we can turn into $9 worth of food,” Castillo says. To make a contribution, call 6220525; mail a check to P.O. Box 26727, Tucson, AZ 85726; or make an online contribution at communityfoodbank.com. • The Pima Council on Aging provides services for the elderly in our community, including helping people continue to live independently in their homes. It’s done through the Meals on Wheels program, as well as home visits that provide assistance with everything from housekeeping to bathing. Pete Hershberger, the new director of PCOA’s community-services system, says PCOA caseworkers serve more than 1,000 clients—but because of budget cuts, that number is down from 2,700 a few years ago. “These are frail, elderly people that we are helping to stay in their homes with dignity and respect,” Hershberger says. “Otherwise, they would be in assisted-living arrangements.” The economics are obvious: It costs $400 to $500 a month to provide these services to PCOA clients, while moving them to nursing homes costs thousands of dollars a month. “We serve the most needy,” Hershberger says. “These are people who would not be able to afford that

CONTINUED ON PAGE 11

DECEMBER 27, 2012 – JANUARY 2, 2013

TuCsONWEEKLY

MEDIA WATCH

18-PACKS

13.99

BY JOHN SCHUSTER jschuster@tucsonweekly.com

JOURNAL NABS ARNOLD FOR GM POST The Journal Broadcast Group persuaded Arizona Broadcasters Association Hall of Famer Jim Arnold to end his two-year hiatus and run the Tucson operations for its media division, which locally includes KGUN Channel 9, KWBA Channel 58 and four radio stations. Arnold replaces Julie Brinks, who was ousted from the position in November. With Arnold, Journal gets someone who is as familiar with the Tucson media landscape as anyone. Arnold’s career as a DJ dates back three decades, and he was among Tucson’s most-popular radio personalities at one point. But Arnold made his mark in media as a general manager: seven years as GM of a radio station in Lubbock, Texas; seven years as GM of a TV station in Madison, Wis.; and a decade as the GM at KOLD Channel 13. During his tenure at KOLD, from 2000 to 2010, Arnold oversaw the news operation’s progression from cellar-dweller to highestrated outlet in the market.

UNION, PAC-12 NETWORKS TALKING If you think it’s been a pain in the backside to track down UA sporting events on the Pac-12 Networks (DirecTV subscribers certainly know the feeling), working at the games for the Pac-12 Networks has been a source of frustration as well.

According to the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees, the union that represents many of those working behind the scenes at Pac-12 broadcasts, the Pac-12 tried to bypass the union by hiring workers on a per-game basis, with no benefits. “They’d go to members of our crew and want to contract them directly. But every time they did that, they’d offer the person less money and give them no benefit contributions,” said Sandra England, broadcast department director for the IATSE. “All of these people are daily-hire employees at a daily-hire rate, but they count on the employer for paying the benefits and health and pension contributions. If they don’t get those, it’s harder for them to … make sufficient funds to pay the premiums.” That approach didn’t sit well with the union, and England says repeated efforts to discuss the issue with the Pac-12 Networks were rebuffed. The lack of dialogue led the IATSE and its members to take more-drastic action: They picketed sporting events during two weekends earlier this month, including the UA-Oral Roberts men’s basketball game on Dec. 18. That got the Pac-12’s attention, and discussion between the two sides will start Jan. 8. As a good-faith gesture, union workers have returned to their Pac-12 broadcast jobs, England says. The situation “was so out of control and confusing that we just had to stop,” England says. “We believe if (the Pac-12 Networks) continued down that road, they were going to implode, and it wasn’t on the backs of our members that (such a thing) was going to happen. It’s in our interest to make them a wild success, but they can’t do it by the crazy way they have been.”

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Everyone agrees: 2012 was not TUSD’s finest year

from Page 9

A Strange Trip hen Roque Daniel Planas heard how the Tucson Unified School District went about banning the books used in the district’s former Mexican-American studies classes, he knew he had to come to Tucson. Planas—now associate editor for Latino Voices on The Huffington Post—worked as a Web reporter for Fox News Latino when he came to Tucson to cover the book ban, and said it was the ban that finally put the district and MAS on the national radar. “When I saw the list of books, I realized they were all the books I had studied in grad school, all the books that gave me the consciousness of being interested in Latino intellectual issues and made me want to study,” Planas said. The ban led Planas and others to conclude that the MAS mess is one of the biggest civilrights issues facing the national Latino community. “And I still think that.” The first TUSD board meeting in 2012, on Jan. 10, saw the swearing in of Alexandre Sugiyama, a UA lecturer in economics—the same academic department where board member Mark Stegeman works. That night, Sugiyama took his oath of office, helped Stegeman return as president of the board, and joined the 4-1 vote to kill MAS. Board-member Adelita Grijalva was the only board member to vote no. As we reported in what “What Now?” (Jan. 19), the aftermath could be described as a public-relations disaster. Teachers were told to immediately change the curriculum, so, for example, classes in Chicano literature had to become regular literature classes. However, the district’s obvious lack of strategy grew apparent as staff members went into former MAS classes throughout the district to pack away books—in some cases in front of students. It’s easy to understand why national reporters like Planas decided to focus some of their attention on Tucson’s largest school district. In the pages of the Tucson Weekly, both online and in print, TUSD occupied more headlines than any other topic. Planas said another reason the banning of books gained so much national attention was because it was a direct attack on a group of people who had largely remained silent during other civil-rights issues in Arizona, such as SB 1070—fiction writers. “When they saw that their writing was removed from the curriculum without debate, they got involved, and that helped increase national attention,” Planas said. “I think it’s a pretty common sentiment that fiction writers, who are usually sequestered, feel that political wrangling is beneath them. That changed.”

Meanwhile, the war against MAS continued. Board member Michael Hicks went on a local conservative talk radio show on Feb. 2 and said that during the April 2011 school board meeting disrupted by the student-led group UNIDOS, he was so scared that he feared for his life. However, videos and pictures from that evening clearly show Hicks standing at the dais with other board members, smiling and talking. Another issue loomed over the district this year—the almost-40-year-old desegregation lawsuit, Mendoza-Fisher v. TUSD. In “Diverse Viewpoints” (Feb. 16), attorneys from the Mexican-American Legal Defense Fund (MALDEF) asked U.S. District Court Judge David Bury, overseeing the deseg case, to intervene and reinstate the MAS classes. A month later, Bury and his appointed deseg-specialist, Willis Hawley, rejected the request. Sylvia Campoy, a former TUSD school board member and the Mendoza representative in the lawsuit, told the Weekly, “What is very sad for me is to recognize the fact that (the TUSD board) did not utilize the (federal desegregation) order to defend the MAS program … over the state law that was created to dismantle it,” Campoy said. March ended with a change in the annual Cesar Chavez March, which for the past 11 years had started at Pueblo Magnet High School. In “In TUSD Rules Force Cesar Chavez March to New Kick-Off Location” (The Range, March 30), we reported the march would start at St. John’s Catholic Church because of TUSD’s demands: Administrators declared that nothing negative could be said at the kickoff about the district and its board members, and there could be no political signage or petitions. The issue later became part of an ongoing U.S. Department of Education Office of Civil Rights complaint when it was pointed out that the district had allowed Sabino High School’s Teen Republicans to host a congressional political debate, moderated by two local conservative radio hosts, in the school auditorium. In April, we posted the now-infamous interview Hicks did with Al Madrigal on The Daily Show, during which Hicks admitted he never visited a MAS class before his vote to kill the program, and claimed that teachers used burritos to create a bond. Finally, he identified civilrights hero Rosa Parks as Rosa Clark. At the April 10 board meeting, MAS supporters served burritos—and that night, MAS director Sean Arce was fired by the board. In May, we wrote about the district hiring former MAS co-founder Auggie Romero to head up a new multicultural curriculum intended to

MARI HERRERAS

BY MARI HERRERAS, mherreras@tucsonweekly.com

TUSD 2012: The year books were banned and schools were closed. replace MAS; the hire wound up splitting some MAS advocates. During the summer, state Attorney General Tom Horne, the main champion of the state’s anti-MAS law, tried to intervene in the deseg case by asking Bury to prevent MAS from being placed in the final deseg document. Bury shot him down, but allowed him to file objections at the end of the public-review process, which took place this month. The start of the 2012-2013 school year brought yet more problems, as we reported that some Pueblo Magnet High School students didn’t get bus service on the first day of school—and claimed they were never warned about service changes. In “Not-so-Special Education” (Aug. 23), we began looking into another serious TUSD issue, following the district’s settlement with former school psychologist Rose Hamway, who claimed retaliation after she spoke out about wrongdoing and other problems regarding the district’s treatment of special-needs students. We later told the stories of two families Hamway worked with, who also filed OCR complaints. As the Weekly went to press with early holiday deadlines, on Thursday, Dec. 20, the TUSD governing board voted to close 11 schools— including two in the same westside, predominantly Latino neighborhood. Most of the schools on the closure list serve poor students and families. The board is already getting criticized for only providing 45 minutes for a call to the audience. Meanwhile, Hicks had surprised his biggest critics, explaining on Dec. 4 to a group of Brichta Elementary parents that he would not vote for any school closures. Stay tuned.

care. The state would end up picking that up.” To make a donation to PCOA, call 790-0504; mail a check to 8467 E. Broadway Blvd., Tucson, AZ 85710; or make an online contribution at pcoa.org. • Emerge! is the domestic-violence agency created in 2008 when the Brewster Center Domestic Violence Services and Tucson Centers for Women and Children united. The nonprofit provides emergency shelter, child-care centers and outreach services for about 5,000 victims of domestic abuse annually. The center has historically seen an increased need for services when the economy falters, said operations manager Anna Stevens-Denae. More than a third of its budget goes toward maintaining the emergency shelter, but Emerge! is expanding its services. In October, Emerge! rolled out Housing First, a program geared toward helping victims of domestic violence move into their own homes. To date, there are 18 people enrolled in the program. Though it’s hard to estimate, Emerge! hopes to serve up to 100 people a year, said Stevens-Denae. “(We are) looking at what they need to maintain stability in order to make them successful,” Stevens-Denae said. To donate, visit emergecenter.org; call 795-8001; or mail a donation to 2545 E. Adams St., Tucson, AZ 86716. • Red Cross of Southern Arizona has helped Southern Arizonans weather disasters since 1916. The local chapter of the international organization provides disaster relief and outreach to veterans, and collects blood donations. “This has been a rough year,” said CEO Richard White. The holiday season brings an influx of home, apartment and trailer fires. Christmas trees, candles and faulty heaters are generally to blame, White said. The Red Cross has also found that a single house is often home to more than one family, increasing the need after each disaster. “We depend almost 100 percent on gifts from individuals, families, foundations and businesses here in Southern Arizona,” White said. For example, when the Red Cross arrives on the scene, families are given a preloaded debit card to pay for a hotel stay and to purchase immediate needs like clothing. Cash donations fund these cards. For the holidays, people can purchase gifts from the holiday-giving catalog in honor of others. A donation of $100 provides emergency shelter for two people; $20 buys a phone card for a deployed service member; and $15 buys three blankets. Donations can be made through redcrossarizona.org; by calling 318-6740; or by visiting, or mailing a contribution to, the Red Cross office, 2916 E. Broadway Blvd., Tucson, AZ 85716. A few others you might consider:

CONTINUED ON PAGE 13

DECEMBER 27, 2012 – JANUARY 2, 2013

TuCsONWEEKLY

POLICE DISPATCH

W E E K LY W I D E W E B

BY MARIANA DALE mailbag@tucsonweekly.com

LOTTO CAPER BENSON HIGHWAY DEC. 4, 3:48 A.M.

A man robbed a convenience store of almost $350 in lottery tickets, according to a report by the Pima County Sheriff’s Department. The clerk was smoking outside when a man approached and asked to buy cigarettes. As she walked into the store, she said, the man grabbed the lottery dispenser from the counter and ran off. The machine contained $345 worth of bingo, crossword and scratcher tickets. The store reported the tickets stolen and surrendered surveillance footage.

FAUX FAMILY FRAUD FOOTHILLS AREA DEC. 5, 12:49 P.M.

A man posing as a woman’s cousin duped her out of $550, according to a PCSD report. The woman said she received a phone call from a blocked number. Upon answering, the man on the other end said, “Guess who this is?” Because the voice sounded familiar, she assumed it was her cousin. He said he was crossing into Tucson from Mexico and would call again the next morning, upon arrival. When he called the next day, the man said he was in a car accident that severely injured a child. He claimed the “federales” were holding him until he could pay the medical bills. The man asked the woman for $500 to ensure his release. The woman went to a Walmart and sent a $550 money transfer. The man called again, asking for the confirmation number—and an additional $1,000 to pay for the injured child’s surgery. At this point, the woman felt the man was “not legit” and asked him additional questions. When he could not answer, she hung up. The deputies were unable to contact the subject, because he called from a restricted number.

DESERT DRINKING DANGERS UA AREA DEC. 8, 2:19 A.M.

An intoxicated University of Arizona student tumbled into cacti, according to a report by the UA Police Department. The officer found the man sitting on a sidewalk near campus. He noticed that in addition to the usual signs of intoxication, tiny cactus spines covered the man’s chest and hands. The man didn’t have any identification, but claimed he was 21. He repeatedly refused to sit down at the officer’s request. The officer handcuffed the man because of his noncompliance, intoxication and large size, the report said. Once restrained, the officer verified the man’s age, and another officer drove him home. The responding officer referred the case to the Dean of Students Office, but filed no charges. 12 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

When Irony Is Lost ’m writing this on Friday, Dec. 21, after catching a recap of the National Rifle Association’s long-awaited response to the shooting in Newtown, Conn. I can’t believe what I’ve heard. The executive vice president and CEO of the NRA, Wayne LaPierre, took the stage immediately after remarks from David Keene, the organization’s president—remarks which basically boiled down to: “We, too, were upset by what happened, and we’re not taking questions. Wayne, you’re up.” From there, LaPierre launched into a speech in which he criticized American values, and whined that we protect banks, airports, stadiums and even the president with armed guards, while refusing to place guards at our schools—which is, I suppose, true, but a bit silly, seeing as some districts are too broke to keep some of their schools open. What got me is the diatribe he launched against the media, pointing fingers at video games, violent films and music videos (which is interesting, since music videos haven’t exactly been relevant since MTV’s Total Request Live was a thing). Then, a minute later, he had the gall to say that the media demonizes gun owners—in other words, he claimed that the very same people who apparently celebrate gun culture are also against it. He blamed the media for failing to look at its own shortcomings, for pointing fingers instead of looking in the mirror. Somehow, he failed to see the irony in that. With every movie and game that celebrates America’s gun fetish, the NRA benefits. Summer blockbusters don’t regard negotiators as heroes; they celebrate the guy who kicks in the door and mows down everyone in his way. What this speech tells me is that the leadership of the NRA is afraid to look into a mirror—likely because they’re afraid of seeing the gun that’s pointing back at them.

—David Mendez, Web Producer dmendez@tucsonweekly.com

COMMENT OF THE WEEK “If there was as much common sense as there are guns, we would all be better off.” —TucsonWeekly.com user “Alan Leibensperger” mentions one thing that this country seems to need more of than anything else right now (“In the Wake of Sandy Hook, Americans Have Lost Their Damn Minds,” The Range, Dec. 20).

BEST OF WWW As many of you know, this is the last issue that Jimmy Boegle is working on as the editor of the Tucson Weekly, before the reins get handed over to Dan Gibson. I’ve got mixed feelings about that—not because I lack faith in Dan, but because people like Jimmy are damn hard to come by. I feel that I’ve been lucky to work with someone who’s patted me on the back when I’ve earned it, kicked me in the ass when I’ve needed it, and mocked me when he felt like it—though never unkindly. Other people could have done that, sure. But it takes a rare person to make someone feel comfortable while at the same time putting the fear of God into them. So thanks for everything, Jimmy. And though you don’t really need it, good luck with the Coachella Valley Independent—we’re rooting for you.

THE WEEK ON OUR BLOGS

NEW ONLINE THIS WEEK

On The Range, we shined a light on “Da Great Gatsby”; mentioned Oscar, our representative in the “Wiener Nationals” dachshund race; shared our in-office fun with a vending machine; mentioned a new deli/grocery opening on Fourth Avenue; noted a pair of anti-Westboro Baptist Church petitions circulating around the Internet; noted editor-in-waiting Dan Gibson’s preference for Miguel at the Pima County Fair; watched Cyanide Beach; laughed at “BroScience”; had the ending of Sherlock’s second series spoiled for us in Danehy’s TV-blogging venture; shared photos of a jaguar spotted near the proposed Rosemont mining site; and so much more! On We Got Cactus, we watched a music video from local indie-rockers Roll Acosta; taunted you with a number of awkward sweaters that we’d get you for Christmas if we had the money; played around with a James Hetfield soundboard; kept up the Metallica theme by watching a wedding band play a bossa nova version of “Enter Sandman”; asked Hub and Playground owner Kade Mislinski a few questions; and kept on waiting for the streetcar with Can.

We begin the GIF selection process!

Are you ready for a post-apocalyptic New Year?

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For local day-laborers, the Southside Worker Center offers safety and community

from Page 11

Help Wanted BY INÉS TARACENA, mailbag@tucsonweekly.com t this time of year, in the depths of winter, there’s not even a hint that dawn is near when day-laborers start heading out from their homes to search for work. The destination for many local day-laborers sits inside the Southside Presbyterian Church, 317 W. 23rd St. Every weekday morning, the Southside Worker Center—consisting of a small classroomlike space with chairs, a table, a writing board and a coffee maker—fills up with about 25 workers who need help finding a job for the day. But the center is much more than an intermediary between employers and workers. Over the years, it also has become a collective of men and women who, despite their personal hardships, are there to support and learn from each other. When Marco Tulio Flores lost his job at a local factory, a friend told him to go to Southside Presbyterian and ask about the worker center. It came as a huge relief for the 56-year-old native of Guatemala, and he has been making his way there almost every morning for the past four years. Sometimes, Flores is absent because he’s able to find jobs on his own. But for the last couple of days, there haven’t been any jobs, and Flores’ anxiety is building, because the money is starting to run out again. “I haven’t worked in a few days, so I told myself I should probably come today and see if I can find something here,” Flores says. “Some days, I work for a couple of hours, and then there are days when I don’t get anything.” It’s about 6:45 a.m. on a Wednesday as Flores sits with the other workers waiting for the “job raffle,” which determines the order in which jobseekers will be picked. Raúl Alcaraz Ochoa, one of the center’s coordinators, spins a drum filled with balls that have numbers on them. The workers wait, hoping to hear their number called first. When employers make their way into the church’s parking lot, the first few workers on the list have priority. On this morning, Flores’ number is called out last. He walks outside with his cup of coffee, places his backpack on a picnic table and sits down. He stares at a wall, trying to formulate plan B. He says he can’t afford another day without work. “I don’t only worry about myself. I worry about all the other workers here, too,” he says. When Flores speaks of the other workers, he refers to them as “mis compañeros,” my comrades. “Every day is a struggle for us.” For those who aren’t picked for jobs, there is an opportunity to participate in another raffle to determine who will be the volunteer of the day: Who will help Ochoa and the other coordinators, Stephanie Quintana and Alejandro

´ INES TARACENA

Marco Tulio Flores holds his Southside Worker Center ID. Valenzuela, clean up the room and the rest of the church? The worker chosen gets his name in the No. 2 spot for jobs on the following day. Since it opened its doors in 2006, the worker center has evolved into an educational institution as well as a safe-haven for daylaborers. Before the center opened, many of the workers would wait on street corners or in alleys for someone in need of a carpenter, a gardener or a plumber. Many would-be employers take advantage of such situations. The workers often are paid miserable wages, and there is always the risk of not being paid at all. At the worker center, Ochoa, Valenzuela and Quintana act as middlemen between the day-laborers and potential employers. “We are in charge of negotiating with the employers,” Ochoa says. “We document the type of labor they’re looking for, how many hours they’ll need the worker for, how much they’ll pay. And we write down the employer’s information in case there’s an issue of unpaid labor.” Center volunteers hold classes on labor rights and other work-related issues at least a couple of times a month. And some of the workers who are experienced in certain fields, such as carpentry or tile work, help train newer members of the worker center. Ochoa, looking back at when he became a permanent volunteer at the worker center about two years ago, says, “I would come once or twice a week, but I was taken aback by the situation, because sometimes, the parking lot would also fill up with other people who would be there drinking, selling drugs. Fights would break out.” But then “we decided to talk to the workers, move them inside away from all of that, and into a more-positive and disciplined environment.”

Ochoa and other volunteers created a membership system. People interested in joining the worker center undergo an orientation and review. They’re given a contract that lists all of their responsibilities as members of the center, and the consequences if they break any of the agreements. Among other things, the contract asks a worker to “promote and ground myself in the principles of solidarity, brotherhood, respect, equality, and unity … to always contribute to the development of and improvement of the center … to never use physical or verbal violence.” The center has become a brotherhood where everyone looks after each other, and lends each other a hand regardless of race, immigration status, sexual orientation or age. “I have suffered a lot in my life, and that has made me realize how important it is to have someone there to help you,” Flores says. “That is what I love the most about this place, that we help each other more and more every day. This is a safe place for us to get a job. And even when there are days without work, I’m still so thankful to this church, the center, mis compañeros and everyone here.” Lately, the day laborers haven’t been able to work much. Ochoa says that the depressed economy, anti-migrant laws and a lack of information about the center all are factors. In a few weeks, worker center members will launch a campaign to attract more employers. They plan to make T-shirts, fliers and business cards to spread the word about the center. “Little by little, we have been able to create a community here where everyone feels comfortable and safe,” Ochoa says. “Despite the unemployment and personal problems, they come here for support, and a place that welcomes them with open arms.”

Child and Family Resources (8818940), the Southern Arizona Center Against Sexual Assault (327-1171), Casa de los Niños (624-0312), Casa Maria (624-0312) and Youth on Their Own (293-1136). In addition to the charitable tax credit, you can also give $200 (or $400 per couple) to a public or charter school and get the money back on your taxes, so consider that as well. There are plenty of schools that need the extra boost for arts and athletic programs. Finally, there are a few nonprofits out there that don’t qualify for the tax credit, but we think you ought to consider a year-end contribution to them as well, because they make this town a better place (and you still get a tax deduction—just not a dollar-for-dollar credit): • The crew at the Rialto Theatre works year-round to bring you plenty of great music. But it’s not just a great place to see a band; it’s also an entertainment anchor for downtown that brings people there to eat at restaurants, drink at bars and shop with merchants new and old. Call 740-1000, or visit rialtotheatre.com for more info. • The Loft Cinema is in the midst of raising money for even more improvements at Tucson’s best movie theater. This year, it has opened a third screen in the former auto shop next door—and there are plans for a whole new lobby, snack bar, offices and more. You can find out more at www.loftcinema.com or by calling 322-5638. • In an age of corporate radio dominance, independent radio station KXCI 91.3 FM is a local treasure that keeps on giving. The KXCI gang brings you music and other programming you are definitely not going to hear anywhere else, and sponsors concerts and other events throughout the year. Find out more at KXCI.org or by calling 623-1000. • Arizona Public Media brings you outstanding free programming on both radio and TV. The news organization’s Web presence continues to grow. And, of course, we dig that Political Roundtable show on Friday nights. Find details on how viewers like you can contribute by calling 621-1600, or by visiting support.azpm.org. Reach down and give, people. Your community needs you, and you’ll feel good doing it. By Jim Nintzel and Mariana Dale Find early and late-breaking Skinny at The Range, our daily dispatch, at daily. tucsonweekly.com Jim Nintzel hosts the Political Roundtable at 6:30 p.m., Friday, on Arizona Illustrated, on KUAT Channel 6. The program repeats at 12:30 a.m., Saturday. Nintzel also talks politics with radio talk-show host John C. Scott on Thursday afternoons. Scott’s show airs from 3 to 5 p.m., weekdays, on KVOI AM 1030. Follow the Skinny scribe on Twitter: @nintzel.

DECEMBER 27, 2012 – JANUARY 2, 2013

TuCsONWEEKLY

SHE’S A LITTLE SHAKY ON HOW THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE WORKS Holly Solomon of Mesa was so upset that Mitt Romney lost the presidential election that she ran over her husband in an SUV after he told her that he hadn’t voted. He suffered critical injuries, according to The Associated Press. ST TAND BACK! THIS GEEZER’S GO ONNA BLOW! Bo order Patrol agents at the Interstate 19 9 checkpoint near Tubac detained 9 96-year-old former Arizona Gov. Raul C Castro for more than 30 minutes in J June heat. Castro’s vehicle triggered a radiation sensor, likely the result of recent tests on his pacemaker. Anne Doan, Castro’s dr International: “I I watched the g lessly treated like

incident. When a CNN producer later asked him why he missed the meeting, McCain snapped: “I have no comment about my schedule, and I’m not going to comment on how I spend my time to the media. … I have the right as a senator to have no comment, and who the hell are you to tell me I can or not?” AS IF CALLING FOR A BOYCOTT WASN’T BAD ENOUGH When U.S. Rep. Raúl Grijalva said he wouldn’t accept deep cuts to Medicare and Social Security as part of a fiscalcliff deal, CNBC host Michelle CarusoCabrera noted that the market had gone down during the course of their interview

PUT HIM IN CHA LATINO OUTREA While in Arizon tor’s campaign, aka Joe the Plum the U.S. military s immigrants. “Put border— border; start shoo our illegal-immig quick,” Wurzelbac paign rally capt Prescottenews.com I’m bloodthirsty; want to kill illegal—illegal—immigrants. It’s because I want my border secure; that’s all it comes down to.” HEISENBERG DID IT! A rash of stolen golf-cart batteries around Green Valley has police theorizing the thieves might be removing the sulfuric acid from the batteries and using it to cook meth. WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PLAN? A Pennsylvania man exposed himself inside the offices of the Bucks County Association for the Blind.

THIS HORNE BLOWS FBI agents allege that Arizona Attorney y General Tom Horne caused $1,000 in damage when he backed into a Range Rover in a Phoenix parking garage and left the scene. The G-men were following Horne at the time as part of their investigation into campaign-finance violations. The agents believe Horne was trying to conceal an affair with a co-worker who lived in a nearby housing complex.

DOESN’T EVERYBODY CARRY A SAMURAI SWORD ON THE TROLLEY? A man pulled out a samurai sword and used it to break up a fight among riders on the light-rail line in Phoenix. WE KNOW HOW TO ATTRACT RIDERS: SAMURAI-SWORD FIGHTS! Tucson’s still-under-construction downtown-UA trolley won’t have enough fare-paying riders to pay its bills. A study concluded that in its first year the Sun Link Streetcar

OUTSIDE OF POLITICS, WOULDN’T WE CALL THIS MONEYLAUNDERING? Gov. Jan Brewer spent $2,462.75 from her political action committee m for 150 copies ions for Breakfast. ut her battles with gal immigration. k to everyone y who 00 to her PAC. THE TRUFFLES 100, from private r reservations at checking in with iscovering their all, and there was e. Brewer spokeson said the Best Opera Diamond of amenities they vel business trip.

mail-in ballots are counted before we decide what we w wil ill d do o next.”

FEAR IS A PIMPLY NERD Stu uden dents ts at Sab Sabino in n High gh Sch School ool oll staged d a Halloween fre re eakoutt when 425 off th hem stay yed hom om me in the wake e of the e ar rrest of a 14-year-o old fre r shm man for r in nterfe ering with an educ cationa nal insttina tu ution n by looking at vio iio o olen l t image es on a computer. A mont nth nt h befo fo fo fore, th he same boy y was arre ested d on su uspi s cio on of making th hreats after r he e sup pposed dly told others he wa as a s go oing g to dr dr dress up as a seri erial al killer on H Ha allo oween.

WE’RE PRETTY TY Y SURE THEY DIDN’T WANT T THA AT EITHER, FRANK State Sen. Frank Ante enori said he lost the end dorseme m nt of the Tucso on Metropolitan n Ch hamb am er of Commerc ce because of his blu blun nt ta alk in a mee eting. “They don n’t like the truth th,” Antenori said.. “I had a blunt discu cussion with h them. m I wasn’t going to o sit there … and place my y lips on th heir you-know ow w-what. That’s not why I was there.”

WITH A HEARTY HI-HO SILVER, HE’S AWAY During his campaigns, failed Republican congressional candidate Jesse Kelly promised to live in Pima County and raise his children here. But days after losing his second bid for Congress, Kelly moved to Washington, D.C., taking a job as director of development at the lobbying group Citizens United. WE CAN’T WAIT FOR THE DEBATES BETWEEN HER AND RICK PERRY Politico inexplicably speculated that Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer could be a 2016 presidential contender. OH, THOSE SILLY AMERICANS; THEY THINK IT’S DANGEROUS TO RUN INTO SMUGGLER-METH HEADS WITH AK-47s Explaining why visitors to Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument, which is on the Mexican border, must be accompanied by armed guards, Chief Ranger Matthew Vandzura said: “It’s because of the perception that exposure to human- and narcotics-smugglers is a bad thing for the visiting public.”

CABLE E MO OVIE: NA NAPOL LITANO AND THE GALS GALS S GET JIIGGY The chief of staff for the director of Immigration and Customs Enforc rceme rc ceme em ntt res r ign ned a ami mid alle mid llegall ga tions n of sex ns ex xual ual haras ssme me ent. UA A graduatte Suz S zann nne n n Barr, a pollitiical ap ppo ointee e off Ho Homel om and S Secur e ur rity y Secr reta ary Jan nett Napo olita ano, all allege eg g dly a as sked ked a ma ale e subord rdin rd nate abou bo outt his ana ana atomy y du uring ng an office of par rty y, and su upp pposed dly called e an nother r subo sub b rdinatte from f he Bogo her he Bogo Bo otá, Col Colomb omb mbia m a, hottel room om and off fffered ere e red to perf r erform orm m a sex ex act on n him. h Barr, who denied the allegations, began working for Napolitano when the latter was Arizona’s governor. When Napolitano became Homeland Security secretary, she brought Barr with her to Washington.

HER CUP RUNNETH OVER Tucsonan Mayra Yvonne Torres, 23, pleaded guilty p y to trying y g to cross into Nogales, Sonora, with $4,200 in cash stuffed into her bra cups. Torres said a person p she refused to identify y promised $50 for every $1,000 she moved across. She told the Nogales International she suspected the cash came from “moviendo mojados,” or moving illegal immigrants.

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PIP PE DREAMS Tuc cson City Councilman Stteve Koz zachik was critical of state Sen n. Al Mel elvin el vin of S Sadd dd eBr ddl rooke after r Melvin introduced d legisla la lation la condemn emning the city’s downtown-red devellopm o ent efforts. ff “How nice to receive your Concurrent Memorial,” Kozachik wro wr r te in an a ope op pen lett etter. et er “E er Evid vident enttly ly, th ly, the e hea ea y win eavy ea nte er rain in iins n have have ve been good ood for ood the he po he oppy y crop op up p in n Sad SaddlleBrook ok ke.” .”

PLAID PANTS WOULD’VE DONE THE TRICK The Arizona Diamondbacks baseball team fired broadcaster Daron Sutton after the TV talker got into a dispute with management over how he dressed. The bosses wanted Sutton to wear a polo shirt on the telecast, but he preferred a suit. WE’VE CERTAINLY HEARD ENOUGH FROM HIM Sen. John McCain held a press conference to complain that the Obama administration wasn’t releasing enough information about an attack on a Benghazi diplomatic outpost—at the same time that he was missing a classified briefing on the Libyan

HE WAS CITED FOR AN ILLEGAL LANE CHANGE A pilot landed his small plane on the southbound lane of State Route 64, between Williams and the Grand Canyon. An Arizona Department of Public Safety spokesman explained this “was not an emergency landing, simply a confused pilot who thought the highway was part of the airport.” THE BREAST OF THE STORY A 27-year-old Phoenix woman was sentenced to a year in prison for faking cancer in order to raise money for a boob job. After telling people she didn’t have insurance and needed a double mastectomy and breast reconstruction,, Jami Lynn y Toler raised $8,000, which she used to pay her plastic surgeon. DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING Using the slogan, “You see the world, the world sees you,” a Chinese company named its line of sunglasses after 20th-century-author and socialactivist Helen Keller, who was blind.

)

DON’T FORGET A STOOL SAMPLE Arizona Secretary of S State Ken Bennett threatened to o re emove Presid t Obama’s President Ob ’s name e ffrom from the ballot allot unless he receive ed d con confirmation from Hawaii that O Ob bama’ ma’ a’s birth certificate was valid. Another A other her option, said Bennett, would be b to o “ask “as all the candidates, including the candidates e pres pr president, to submit a certified copy off th their birth certificate.”

47 percent of you are going to love our year in review

NEAR, FAR OH WHAT A SPEND A suspect Phoenix o chase befo Caliber, r and shoo Fox New anchor S really m Smith. didn’t b

SHARK-DROPPINGS GIVE A BETTER HUE Starbucks announced it would stop using dried-bug extract to color its Frappuccinos and pastries.

WE LOV WE VE A AL L; HE HE GLO GLOW WS IN THE TH T H DAR A K AR Me elvin n al also pro pr po ose ed mak m ing Ar rizo ona a the he nu he ucle lear--was le w te c cap ap pittal of Amer mer rica a. He e sa aid if th he re rest of the co ountr ntry ntr sen entt its s en spe pe p ntt nuc nu le nucle lea e r fuel ro ods to u us, s, s, our state could rake in $100 million a year that could be earmarked for education.

FEAR RA AND LOATHING IN SAN AN DIEG GO A report re repor concluded clu that City Councilman unc uncilm Paul Cunningham got blasted sted ted on a business trip to San Diego ego o a and sexually harassed three female l employees at a hotel bar. Even though he couldn’t remember some of his offending conduct, the pol admitted wrongdoing and said he would enter alcohol treatment, and try to make amends with his co-workers.

HE DOESN’T LOOK GOOD IN PLAID PANTS, ANYWAY Frank McIntyre was suspended from the Golf Club at Vistoso after telling the Arizona Daily Star the Oro Valley course was a “goat ranch” that was burning up from too much heat and not enough water. Officials at the course said they had an absolute right to reprimand any member who behaved in a manner inconsistent with the club’s best interests.

14 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

and several of them had come into Sahuarita seeking food and water.

BY LEO W. BANKS & JIM NINTZEL

THE GO NUTSHELL (ACCENT ON THE NUT) Actor Clint Eastwood spent more than 10 minutes arguing with a chair that he said represented President Barack Obama, while introducing Mitt Romney at the Republican National Convention. “What do you want me to tell Romney?” Eastwood said to the empty chair. “I can’t tell him to do that to himself.” Eastwood, whose remarks had not been screened by the Romney campaign, later told CNN that Romney thought his routine “was quite funny.” LIVE FREE OR DIE Motorists on Interstate 19 near Sahuarita dodged a horse that was dashing back and forth across the highway, until a Department of Public Safety officer got the go-ahead to shoot and kill the animal. Some wild horses live in the desert nearby,

YOU NEVER KNOW After Bennett said that he asked Hawaiian officials to turn over a copy of the president’s birth certificate an 1,200 people had anding an investiga15,000 people signed anding he look into Romney is secretly a about Mitt Romney?” e petition backers at “What about the pers that Mitt Romney is, corn? There has never usive DNA test proving mney is not a unicorn. er seen him without his at could be covering up Bennett refused to look into the unicorn allegations. TURBANS FOR BORDER PATROL At a debate among candidates running in the Congressional District 8 special election, Green Party candidate Charlie Manolakis addressed border security, saying: “I’d like to suggest instead of using horses around the border, we may use camels. They have more durability and less maintenance.” THEY EACH GOT ONE OF THOSE ITTY-BITTY BAGS OF PEANUTS Concerned for the safety of three elephants at the Toronto Zoo, Bob Barker,, the former host of The Price Is Right, spent $880,000 to load them onto a private cargo plane and fly them to a sanctuary in warm Southern California. “Elephants love to tear up trees; they’ll have all the trees they want to tear up,” Barker said.

WELL, IT IS A BIG-BOX STORE A Kansas couple were arrested after stealing K-Y Jelly from the shelves of a Walmart and having sex in view of other shoppers. ALERT! THIS IS NOT SATIRE! THIS ACTUALLY FREAKING HAPPENED! A Nogales family mounted a townwide hunt for their 120-pound African tortoise—named Big Boy—after it climbed their backyard fence and escaped. Fernando Sotomayor spent a week wondering if he’d ever see his pet again, even though he’d taken the precaution of printing his address on its shell. Big Boy came home thanks to a neighbor who saw the creature walking down the street. Fearing Big Boy might get squashed in traffic, the woman somehow picked him up and carried him to her house. She called the family after finding one of the fliers the Sotomayors had distributed as part of their search. The Nogales International reported that Fernando adopted his massive friend at a reptile show in Tucson in 2005. Such tortoises can live 150 years. Big Boy enjoys eating bananas, zucchini, carrots, sweet potatoes and cantaloupes. MAY FLIGHTS OF ANGELS SING THEE TO THY REST—WITH EXTRA PEPPERONI! Tucson entrepreneurs Tyler and Zach Fenton opened a pizza shop in a vintage downtown building that once housed the Reilly Funeral Home.

continued on Page 16

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that was quite a year. Clint Eastwood yelled at a chair he mistook for the president of the United States. Ari zona Secretary of State Ken Bennett went looking for Pre sident Barack Obama’s birth certificate. Joe the Plumber suggested that we open fire on undocumented border-cross ers. Jesse Kelly Y SHE’S A LITTLE SHAK ON HOW THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE WORKS Holly Solomon of Mesa was so upset that Mitt Romney lost the presidential election that she ran over her husband in an SUV after he told her that he hadn’t voted. He suffered critical injuries, d Press. according to The Associate STAND BACK! THIS OW! GEEZER’S GONNA BL Interstate 19 the at nts age rol Pat Border ed 96-yearain det checkpoint near Tubac Castro l Rau v. Go a old former Arizon e heat. Jun in es nut mi 30 n tha for more on seniati rad a Castro’s vehicle triggered on his ts tes ent rec of ult sor, likely the res ’s driver, stro Ca an, Do ne An r. pacemake nal: “I was told the Nogales Internatio the governor ed tch wa embarrassed as I a nuclear like d ate tre ssly being needle threat.” OF PUT HIM IN CHARGE CH EA TR OU O TIN LA GOP te senator’s While in Arizona for a sta r, aka Joe the che lba rze Wu campaign, Sam the U.S. military Plumber, demanded that grants. mi im start shooting illegal on the borops tro ut —p “Put border t solves our der; start shootin’. I bet tha real quick,” m ble illegal-immigration pro gn rally pai cam a at said Wurzelbacher scottenews.com. captured on video by Pre hirsty; it’s not odt “It’s not because I’m blo —illegal— gal ille kill because I want to nt my border wa I e aus bec It’s . immigrants n to.” dow secure; that’s all it comes HEISENBERG DID IT! batteries around A rash of stolen golf-cart orizing the the ice Green Valley has pol the sulfuric ng ovi rem be thieves might using it to acid from the batteries and cook meth.

16 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PLAN? osed himA Pennsylvania man exp the Bucks of s ice self inside the off the Blind. for n atio oci County Ass WITH A HEARTY HI-HO SILVER, HE’S AWAY ed During his campaigns, fail dican nal ssio Republican congre in live to sed mi pro ly date Jesse Kel en ldr chi his e rais and y Pima Count his second bid here. But days after losing to Washington, ved mo for Congress, Kelly of develor ect dir as job D.C., taking a up Citizens opment at the lobbying gro United. THE DEBATES WE CAN’T WAIT FOR K PERRY RIC D BETWEEN HER AN d that ate cul spe bly Politico inexplica be a 2016 ld cou r we Bre Jan v. Go Arizona presidential contender. ERICANS; OH, THOSE SILLY AM EROUS NG THEY THINK IT’S DA -METH ER GL UG TO RUN INTO SM s -47 AK TH HEADS WI Organ Pipe Explaining why visitors to , which is on ent num Cactus National Mo accompanied be st mu , der bor the Mexican r Matthew nge by armed guards, Chief Ra the perof e aus bec Vandzura said: “It’s and anhum to re osu exp ception that thing for the bad a is lers ugg sm icsnarcot visiting public.” OVER HER CUP RUNNETH Torres, 23, Tucsonan Mayra Yvonne cross into to ing try to pleaded guilty in cash 200 $4, h wit , ora Son Nogales, said a res Tor s. stuffed into her bra cup mised pro fy nti ide to d person she refuse across. ved mo she 000 $1, ry $50 for eve ational she She told the Nogales Intern m “moviendo fro e cam h suspected the cas gal immigrants. mojados,” or moving ille OD HE DOESN’T LOOK GO AY YW AN S, NT PA IN PLAID ded from pen sus s wa yre Int Mc Frank after telling the the Golf Club at Vistoso o Valley course Or the r Sta Arizona Daily s burning up was a “goat ranch” that wa

once again pretended to care about Southe rn Arizona. We’ve clipped stories all year long, from The Ass ociated Press to Australia’s 9 News, so we can once again bring you our annual look back at the craziest, the wackiest and the dumbest moments of 2012. not enough from too much heat and rse said they had cou the at ls icia water. Off and any meman absolute right to reprim er inconsistent nn ma a ber who behaved in sts. ere int t bes with the club’s E PLAID PANTS WOULD’V ICK DONE THE TR s baseball team The Arizona Diamondback ton after the Sut fired broadcaster Daron with managee put dis a o TV talker got int d. The bosses ment over how he dresse polo shirt on the a wanted Sutton to wear a suit. red fer telecast, but he pre

because of his Chamber of Commerce g. etin me a in blunt talk ” Antenori “They don’t like the truth, n with them. sio cus dis nt said. “I had a blu … and place my I wasn’t going to sit there at. That’s not lips on their you-know-wh why I was there.”

AS IF CALLING FOR A BOYCOTT WASN’T BAD ENOUGH When U.S. Rep. Raúl Grijalva said he wouldn’t accept deep cuts to Medicare and Social Security as part of a fiscal-cliff deal, CNBC host Michelle CarusorCabrera noted that the ma the course ing dur n dow e gon ket had of their interview. rket is selling “As we’re talking, the ma Grijalva. “Do told she ” in, aga off once selling off draare you care that markets you guys can’t like ks loo it matically when come to a deal?” OULD MAYBE NEXT, YOU SH T VOTES UN CO TO W LEARN HO more than While trailing Grijalva by r the afte s day 24,000 votes in the n Gabriela ica ubl Rep n, ctio ele November ss release pre a Saucedo Mercer sent out t 1,117 jus by ind claiming she was beh votes. ’ but it will “This was my first ‘rodeo, “With such a . said r not be my last,” Merce nd ballots yet usa tho l era sev tight race, and il unt all the proto count, we are waiting are counted lots visional and mail-in bal l do next.” wil we at wh before we decide THEY DIDN’T WE’RE PRETTY SURE ANK FR R, HE WANT THAT EIT he lost the said ori ten An nk Fra . State Sen tropolitan Me son endorsement of the Tuc

LITANO CABLE MOVIE: NAPO GY JIG T GE AND THE GALS or of ect dir the for ff sta The chief of cement for En Immigration and Customs harassual sex of s ion resigned amid allegat e Barr, a ment. UA graduate Suzann meland Ho political appointee of et Jan ary ret Security Sec ed a Napolitano, allegedly ask his ut abo male subordinate ice off an ing dur anatomy led party, and supposedly cal her m fro te another subordina m roo el hot , bia lom Bogotá, Co sex act a m for per to d ere off and on him. gations, Barr, who denied the alle when o itan pol Na for began working When or. ern gov a’s zon Ari s wa the latter land Security Napolitano became Home with her to r Bar t ugh secretary, she bro Washington. FEAR AND LOATHING IN SAN DIEGO City Councilman A report concluded that sted on a busibla Paul Cunningham got sexually and go Die ness trip to San yees at a hotel plo em ale fem ee thr ed harass remember ’t ldn cou bar. Even though he t, the pol duc con ing end some of his off said he would admitted wrongdoing and try to make and , enter alcohol treatment rs. rke wo coamends with his NEAR, FAR, IN OUR AT MOTOR CAR … OH WH SPEND ’LL WE E TIM Y A HAPP ice in pol A suspected car thief led -mph chase 100 ng, r-lo Phoenix on an hou Dodge Caliber, before jumping from the and shooting d running down a dirt roa ws aired the Ne Fox d. himself in the hea d Smith par She hor anc as episode live ” said a up, d watched. “We really messe

y. red-faced Smith. “We’re all very sorr ” . ision telev That didn’t belong on THE GOP CONVENTION IN A ) NUTSHELL (ACCENT ON THE NUT than e mor t spen d woo East Actor Clint 10 minutes arguing with a chair that he said represented President Barack Obama, while introducing Mitt Romney at the Republican National Convention. “What do you want me to tell Romney?” Eastwood said to the empty chair. “I can’t tell him to do that to himself.” Eastwood, whose remarks had not been screened by the Romney campaign, later told CNN that Romney thought his routine “was quite funny.” LIVE FREE OR DIE Motorists on Interstate 19 near Sahuarita dodged a horse that was dashing back and forth across the highway, until a Department of Public Safety officer got the go-ahead to shoot and kill the anirt mal. Some wild horses live in the dese into e com had them of ral seve and nearby, r. Sahuarita seeking food and wate DOESN’T EVERYBODY CARRY A SAMURAI SWORD ON THE TROLLEY? A man pulled out a samurai sword and s used it to break up a fight among rider . enix Pho on the light-rail line in WE KNOW HOW TO ATTRACT RIDERS: SAMURAI-SWORD FIGHTS! Tucson’s still-underconstruction downtown-UA trolley won’t have enough fare-paying riders to pay its bills. A study concluded that in its first year, the Sun Link Streetcar system will need $2.4 million from Tucson’s general operating fund. The already-pretty-much-broke city will have ayer to kick in another $3.7 million of taxp . year fifth money by the THE BIGGER THE MOUTH, THE BETTER IT LOOKS CLOSED ur Self-help spiritual warrior James Arth icide hom t Ray, convicted of negligen in the deaths of three people in a 2009 d Sedona sweat-lodge ceremony, continue a g sellin to make money from prison, g 14-CD package promising everythin , iness happ and love th, heal ey, from mon ing park to thick hair and really good spots.

PIPE DREAMS Tucson City Councilman Steve Kozachik was critical of state Sen. in Al Melvin of SaddleBrooke after Melv the ing emn cond n latio legis d duce intro ts. city’s downtown-redevelopment effor ent curr Con your ive rece to “How nice open an in e wrot chik Koza ” , orial Mem letter. “Evidently, the heavy winter rains in have been good for the poppy crop up ” . ooke leBr Sadd WE LOVE AL; HE GLOWS IN THE DARK Melvin also proposed making Arizona He the nuclear-waste capital of America. t spen its sent try coun the of rest said if the d coul nuclear fuel rods to us, our state be rake in $100 million a year that could . ation educ for earmarked Mention this ad for a FREE intro Class

DON’T FORGET A STOOL SAMPLE Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett threatened to remove President Obama’s name from the ballot unless he received confirmation from Hawaii that Obama’s birth certificate was valid. Another option, said Bennett, would be to “ask all the candidates, including the president, to submit a certified copy of their birth certificate.” YOU NEVER KNOW After Bennett said that he asked Hawaiian officials to turn over a e copy of the president’s birth certificat sent had le peop 0 1,20 than e because mor e emails demanding an investigation, mor ion petit a ed than 15,000 people sign demanding he look into whether Mitt Romney is secretly a unicorn. “But what about Mitt Romney?” ques . ction lefta at ers back ion tioned the petit ors com. “What about the persistent rum orn? unic a that Mitt Romney is, in fact, There has never been a conclusive DNA a test proving that Mitt Romney is not out unicorn. We have never seen him with a up ring cove be could his hair—hair that horn.” Bennett refused to look into the unicorn allegations. continued on next page

Tucson EVERY TUES EVERY WED THURS DEC 27 FRI DEC 28 SAT DEC 29 SUN DEC 30 MON DEC 31 FRI JAN 4 SAT JAN 5

– Classic Movie Night – Amy Ross (Whiskey Girl) – Beth Hart – Courtney Marie Andrews – ¡Noche de Cumbia! w/ DJ Dirtyverbs and Vox Urbana – Bisbee’s Own Performs Pink Floyd’s The Wall – The Last Party of 2012 Buzz & the Soul Senders & Dylan Charles – Nowhere Man & a Whiskey Girl – Roll Acosta w/ Steff Koeppen & the Articles

COMING SOON TUES JAN 22 SAT FEB 16

– Nicki Bluhm & the Gramblers – Tom Russel

94 Main St | Bisbee, AZ | (520) 432-6750 www.bisbeeroyale.com

21 AND OVER ONLY PLEASE

BARTENDING SCHOOL

ACTUAL CLASSROOM

t 'PVOEFE JO t %BZ &WFOJOH $MBTTFT

A+ Rating

2723 N Campbell Ave (520) 325-6300 bartendtucson@gmail.com www.tucsonbartendingacademy.com

DECEMBER 27, 2012 – JANUARY 2, 2013

TuCsONWEEKLY

TOO MUCH INFORMATION Do Olympic Swimmers Pee in the Pool? ‘Nearly 100 Percent’ Do, Says Former U.S. National Team Member —The Huffington Post HOW WOULD A SUIT, ER, FIT EXACTLY? Los Angeles Mandates Condoms for Porn Actors, Industry Threatens Suit —Reuters WE LOVE LEAKS Erupting Urinal Soaks House Press Gallery —NationalJournal.com VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN Preening Dinosaur Found —Richmond Times-Dispatch PUT YOUR LIPS TOGETHER AND BLOW Why Horn Size Matters When Picking a Mate —NewScientist.com FORGIVE ME, FATHER, FOR I HAVE DANCED ON THE MOON Naked German Monk Likely a Victim of Hallucinogenic Berries —Yahoo! News ROPE-A-DOPE It’s Official: Bellingham Man Owns Record for Passing String Through His Nose —Bellingham (Wash.) Herald CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW MUCH BATTERIES COST? JUST SAYIN’ … Girl Leaves Hospital With Battery in Nose —9 News website (Australia) THIS ONE’S FOR YOU, JESSE KELLY First Human Ancestor Looked Like a Squirrel —Discovery.com THEY WEAR THESE TINY SPEEDOS Dolphins Engage in Bisexuality and Even Homosexuality: Study —The Huffington Post EEEWWWWWW! Scientists Gain Understanding of Self-Cleaning Gecko Foot Hair —University of Akron press release FIFTY SHADES OF MY FLOUNDER Sexual Liberation in Fish Is Nothing to Celebrate —TheAtlantic.com DON’T MAKE ME USE THIS, PEOPLE! Man With Plunger Tries to Rob New York Bank, Police Say —FoxNews.com IT HIT THE FAN Tempers Flare at Manure Management Meeting —Quad-City Times (Davenport, Iowa) ANYBODY CHECK THE CLOSET? Guns, Climate, Gays Missing in Presidential Race —The Associated Press TALK TO US, BIG DADDY America’s Women Can’t Be Trusted —Slate.com THE LIVE ONES WOULDN’T STAY PUT BETWEEN THE BREAD McDonald’s China Apologizes for Expired Chicken —The Huffington Post —L.W.B. 18 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

continued from Page 17

COULD YOU REPEAT THAT? We’re Not Paying Enough Attention to ADHD —The Washington Post

A REAL CLIFFHANGER

OUR FAVORITE HEADLINES OF 2013

TURBANS FOR BORD ER PATROL At a debate among candid ates running in the Congressional Dis trict 8 special election, Green Party can didate Charlie Manolakis addressed bor der security, saying: “I’d like to suggest ins tead of using horses around the border , we may use camels. They have more durability and less maintenance.”

THEY EACH GOT ONE OF THOSE ITTY-BITTY BAGS OF PEANUTS Concerned for the safety of three elephants at the Toronto Zo o, Bob Barker, the former host of The Pri ce Is Right, spent $880,000 to load them ont o a private cargo plane and fly them to a sanctuary in warm Southern Californi a. “Elephants love to tear up trees; they’ll have all the trees they wa nt to tear up,” Barker said.

THIS HORNE BLOWS FBI agents allege that Ari zona Attorney General Tom Horne cau sed $1,000 in damage when he backed into a Range Rover in a Phoenix parkin g garage and left the scene. The G-men were following Horne at the time as par t of their investigation into campaign-fin ance violations. The agents believe Horne was trying to conceal an affair with a coworker who lived in a nearby housing complex. OUTSIDE OF POLITICS , WOULDN’T WE CALL THIS MONEY-LAUND ERING? Gov. Jan Brewer spent $2, 462.75 from her political action committee to pay Amazon. com for 150 copies of her book, Scorpions for Breakfast. The book talk s about her battles with Obama over illegal immigration. Brewer giv es a book to everyone who donates at least $100 to her PAC. NOT ONLY THAT; THE TRUFFLES WERE STALE It cost Brewer $4,100, from private funds, to cancel her reservations at a Paris hotel after checking in wit h two aides—and discoverin g their rooms were too small, and there was construction outside. Brewer spo kesman Matthew Benson said the Best We stern Premier Opera Diamond didn’t hav e the kind of amenities they needed for a high-level business trip.

SHARK-DROPPINGS GIVE A BETTER HUE Starbucks announced it wo uld stop using dried-bug extract to color its Frappuccinos and pastrie s. HE WAS CITED FOR AN ILLEGAL LANE CHAN GE A pilot landed his small plane on the southbound lane of State Route 64, between Williams and the Grand Canyon. An Arizona Department of Public Safety spokesman explained thi s “was not an emergency landing, simply a confused pilot who thought the hig hway was part of the airport.” THE BREAST OF THE STORY A 27-year-old Phoenix wo man was sentenced to a year in prison for faking cancer in order to raise money for a boob job. After telling people she did n’t have insurance and needed a double mastectomy and breast reconstructio n, Jami Lynn Toler raised $8,000, which she used to pay her plastic surgeon. WE’VE CERTAINLY HE ARD ENOUGH FROM HIM Sen. John McCain held a press conference to complain that the Obam a administration wasn’t releasing eno ugh information about an attack on a Ben ghazi diplomatic outpost—at the sam e time that he was missing a classified briefing on the Libyan incident. When a CNN producer later asked him why he missed the meeting, McCain snapped: “I have no comment about my schedule, and I’m not going to comment on how I spend my time to the media. … I have the right as a senator to have no comment, and who the hel l are you to tell me I can or not ?”

DIDN’T SEE THIS CO MING Using the slogan, “You see the world, the world sees you ,” a Chinese company named its line of sunglasses after 20th-century-author and social-activist Helen Keller, who was blin d.

THAT TAKES BALLS When Republican presid ential candidate Rick Santorum questioned the wisdom of easing rules for wome n in combat, congressional hopeful and former Air Force combat pilot Marth a McSally told Fox News: “When I heard this, I really just wanted to go kick him in the jimmy.” WELL, IT IS A BIG-BOX STORE A Kansas couple were arr ested after stealing K-Y Jelly from the shelves of a Walmart and having sex in view of other shoppers. ALERT! THIS IS NOT SATIRE! THIS ACTUALLY FREAKING HAPPENED! A Nogales family mount ed a townwide hunt for their 120-po und African tortoise—named Big Boy— after it climbed their backyard fen ce and escaped. Fernando Sotomayor spe nt a week wondering if he’d ever see his pet again, even though he’d taken the pre caution of printing his address on its she ll. Big Boy came home thanks to a neighbor who saw the creature walking down the street. Fearing Big Bo y might get squashed in traffic, the wo man somehow picked him up and carried him to her house. She called the fam ily after finding one of the fliers the Sotom ayors had distributed as part of their sea rch. The Nogales International reported that Fernando adopted his massive friend at a reptile show in Tucson in 2005. Such tortoises can live 150 years. Big Boy eenjoys eating bananas, zucchini, carrots, sweet potatoes and cantaloupe s. MAY FLIGHTS OF ANGELS SING THEE TO THY REST—WITH EX TRA PEPPERONI! Tucson entrepreneurs Tyl er and Zach Fenton opened a pizza sho p in a vintage downtown building that once housed the Reilly Funeral Home.

On behalf of all of us at the Tucson Weekly and the is page, businesses represented on th ers n rt a p d n a ts n ie cl s, er d a re I wish our n and a wonderful holiday seaso much success in 2013! Sincerely, blisher u P , e e L . P s a m Tho

DECEMBER 27, 2012 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; JANUARY 2, 2013

TuCsONWEEKLY

CITYWEEK

DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 OUR TOP PICKS OF WHAT TO DO AND WHERE TO DO IT BY GENE ARMSTRONG AND A. GREENE

A Tradition Develops

PICK OF THE WEEK

It’s become a tradition, four years running: When Patti Zlaket returns to her hometown of Tucson for the holidays, she performs a concert at Club Congress. Although she is now a personal-injury attorney in the San Diego area, Zlaket spent the better part of the last 20 years working in music. She’s a singer, songwriter and pianist who has recorded and released three albums of intimate blues, jazz and pop, often performed in a cabaret setting. She’ll play this Friday night at Congress, accompanied by drummer Scott Seymann and guitarist Fil Aguirre. Zlaket graduated from Salpointe Catholic High School in 1987, and four years later earned a degree from the University of Southern California, where she studied musical theater. She then moved back to Tucson for a few years, getting her musical career together. She released her first album, The Promise, in 1994, which was long enough ago that the Tucson contact number for her on the CD had a 602 area code. By 1996, she had moved to Nashville “on a wing and a prayer,” she says. “The Nashville people, when they would listen to my music, would say, ‘You don’t sound like you’re from Nashville; you sound like you’re from L.A.’ “I realized there was a big difference between this West Coast thing and Nashville, where it is still pretty dominated by the country scene. “Although I thought a lot of my material would translate well to the country market, it wasn’t meant to be. And, when it comes down to it, I am pretty much a West Coast girl.” She moved to California 16 years ago, and ended up in San Diego—which also happens to be much closer to her Tucson family. Patti Zlaket She struggled with the unpredictable nature of making a living as a full-time performer and often held other jobs to make ends meet. She waited tables, tended bar, temped, worked for a skin-care company and had a job in the corporate office of Mail Boxes Etc. She eventually found steady work at a music-production company that created advertising jingles. “I was creative director and produced and/or sang literally hundreds of radio ads which aired all over the country,” she says. After seven years in music production, she made the leap to return to school in her mid-30s. “I felt like I had kind of hit the wall with that job. … Going back to school, I wasn’t sure I was ready to do it. Honestly, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I had made myself a promise that if I didn’t really love this, I wouldn’t continue.” But she did love it. Studying—and now practicing—law, she says “fits me like a hand in glove.” “The fact that my father is a lawyer, and I have a number of attorneys

20 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

in my family, didn’t hurt. It is in my blood to a degree. And being a litigator is more similar to performing music than you might think at first.” Her dad, by the way, is Thomas A. Zlaket, a longtime local attorney and former chief justice of the Arizona Supreme Court. Patti Z., as she once billed herself, has never married and has become known for using her dating life as inspiration for songwriting, and for between-song stories on stage. “I share a lot of my dating stories when I perform, mainly because they are so horrible and hilarious that I have to share that in a humorous way with my audience,” she says. However, there may be change in her romantic future, although she is cautious to reveal too much. “All I can say is there hasn’t been a sad dating story in a while. And I haven’t been able to perform a blues song with a lot of energy or commitment for some time now,” she says with a smile in her voice. Zlaket still plays gigs a couple of times per month. Now, though, she isn’t worried about earning enough from a gig to pay the rent; she performs for the sheer joy of it. And she defines success in music differently now than she once did. “It’s a different thing now for me. At one point in my life, I had a very specific goal to make it in the music business. But now, being able to perform and make people happy, and still have the same kind of love and passion for music and performing that I do—that is a bigger success than I could have imagined in my 20s.” Patti Zlaket will play at 7 p.m., Friday, Dec. 28, at Club Congress, 311 E. Congress St. Admission is free. For more information, call 622-8848, or visit www.hotelcongress.com. Gene Armstrong garmstrong@tucsonweekly.com

SPORTS Run Wild in 2013 Anytime Fitness Resolution Day 5k 9:30 a.m., Tuesday, Jan. 1 Cross Middle School 1000 W. Chapala Drive www.active.com/5k-race/tucson-az/ anytime-fitness-resolution-day-5k-2013

Remember how you made that resolution to improve your health and get in shape? Well, come join in the Anytime Fitness Resolution Day 5k. Even if you’re not up to something as potentially intimidating as a 5k run, don’t count this one out! It’s got something for everybody. The Anytime Fitness gyms around Tucson have partnered up to co-sponsor this event benefiting Grow 2B Fit, a local foundation educating families about healthy eating habits and childhood obesity. There are two different races: The 5K race, and a 1-mile Family Fun Run. The 5k costs $30 to enter and includes a racing T-shirt; the Family Fun Run is $5 per family. The day also consists of a Family Health and Fitness Expo, where you can participate in a yoga or Zumba fitness class; compete in a push-up, sit-up or planking contest; get your blood pressure and BMI checked; get a relaxing massage; and get tips on eating right and staying healthy. Gymnastics World will also lead some fun, kidcentered activities. Mike Urbanski, owner of the Anytime Fitness on Oracle Road, said he believes events like this are important for the community. “Health and wellness is important to us,” Urbanski said. “It’s more and more obvious with the obesity crisis that families need to do this and be healthy.” All events will start off at Cross Middle School. The 5k loops through Tohono Chul Park, and makes its way through a nearby neighborhood before circling back to the finish line at Cross. To register for the races, go to the link above. For more information, e-mail tucsonaz3@anytimefitness.com. —A.G.

PANCHESCO.COM

Left: Tucson Repertory Orchestra

MUSEUMS

MUSIC

SPECIAL EVENTS

Tying the Knot

Free and Fantastic

A Fruitful Community Event

The Ketubah Exhibit

Tucson Repertory Orchestra’s Music of the Masters II

Market on the Move

Opening reception: 2 p.m., Tuesday, Jan. 1 Exhibit on display 1 to 5 p.m., Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday; noon to 3 p.m., Friday, through Thursday, Feb. 28

2 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 29 Grace St. Paul’s Episcopal Church 2331 E. Adams St.

Jewish History Museum 564 S. Stone Ave.

461-4537; tucsonrepertoryorchestra.org

670-9073; jewishhistorymuseum.org

There’s something about wintertime that makes the idea of an afternoon orchestral performance appealing. Well, on Saturday, Tucsonans will have an up-close-and-personal opportunity to see some of Tucson’s biggest talents play in a smaller, more-personal setting. Toru Tagawa, conductor of the Tucson Repertory Orchestra, along with fluteplayer Linda Doughty Kneifel, created the Tucson Repertory Orchestra in 2011 out of a desire to create an outlet for orchestral music and musicians in Tucson. Because money is tight, and there aren’t too many places to play, the idea of a smaller repertory orchestra seemed to fit the bill for Tucson. Right now, there are about 100 people in the TRO, and they meet once a month to play music together. The orchestra is very diverse, and Tagawa said all of the individuals are truly passionate. “There are people who love to play music, and have been playing a long time,” said Tagawa. Music of the Masters II will be the orchestra’s second concert. This time around, TRO will play Beethoven’s Symphony No. 1; the Saint-Saens Cello Concerto, featuring cellist Theodore Buchholz; and Johann Strauss’ Blue Danube. Tagawa said he chose Beethoven’s Symphony No. 1 because it is traditionally played at the end of the year in Japan. “I am hoping to start a Tucson tradition,” he says. “It would be nice to have something that starts at the end of the year.” Tucson Repertory Orchestra’s Music of the Masters II is free; seating is on a first-come, first-served basis. “We play great music at a high level,” Tagawa said. “It will be a great orchestra experience.” —A.G.

Spend your New Year’s Day in style at the Jewish History Museum’s fifth annual Antique Wedding Gown Exhibit— this year featuring 27 wedding dresses from as early as 1720, and as recently as 2012 (which was so yesterday). The opening-day festivities include a chocolate and champagne reception, and a live style show featuring many of the garments. So how did the Jewish History Museum eventually make it to their fifth-annual gown exhibit? “In our collection, we found an old wedding dress,” said Eileen Warshaw, the museum’s executive director. Their research about the dress put them in touch with a number of different museums, who in turn offered to lend dresses. Donors and patrons also offered dresses when word got out about the project. “Nobody wants to throw (the dresses) away, but nobody knows what to do with them,” Warshaw said. What all the support amounted to was the largest collection of wedding garments worn in Jewish ceremonies in the U.S. And at 27 garments this year, this will be the biggest show so far. But the exhibit is about a lot more than just the clothes; it’s about who wore the dresses, why they wore them, and when. Each dress has its own history. “We don’t collect things; we tell stories,” said Warshaw. “I think the stories that come along with the dresses are so interesting.” Tickets for opening festivities are $20, and reservations can be made at 6709073. General admission is $5. “We all want a happy ending,” said Warshaw. “We all want a happy story once in a while ... a little hope, when it seems like the world’s gone mad.” —A.G.

8 to 11 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 29 Pueblo Magnet High School 3500 S. 12th Ave. the3000club.org

A $10 donation gets you up to 60 pounds of fresh produce. That’s the idea behind Market on the Move, a program created by the 3000 Club, a nonprofit charitable organization. Perfectly good produce often ends up in landfills due to blemishes, discoloration, bruises or a lack of demand. That’s where Market on the Move comes in: With the help of a couple semi-trucks, Market on the Move takes unwanted produce from Nogales and drives it to Arizona cities for distribution. (For more, see this week’s TQ&A.) On Dec. 29, Market on the Move will be in Pueblo High School’s front parking lot. Lourdes Rios, community schools coordinator at Pueblo, said the aim is for Pueblo High to become more of a part of the community, and more healthfully minded. “We want the school to be a hub in the Pueblo community,” said Rios. “This year, we wanted to bring in Market on the Move. ... We wanted to get the word out.” So for $10, you get 60 pounds of produce to do with as you see fit. If you can’t use it all, please share the love. “Sixty pounds is a lot! ... I give it to my sister, my brother, my mom,” said Rios. “I always share it.” In addition to the fruit-and-veggie fest, there will be other services inside the school’s faculty cafeteria. TUSD nutritional staff will be cooking up some of the provided vegetables for people to try, and sending anyone interested home with some tried-and-true recipes. There will be applications for Kids Care; the Marana Health Center will be providing dental and vision checks; and COPE Behavioral Services will be promoting their health programs. Visit the www.the3000club.org for more information. —A.G.

Submissions CityWeek includes events selected by Gene Armstrong and A. Greene, and is accurate as of press time. Tucson Weekly recommends calling event organizers to check for last-minute changes in location, time, price, etc. To have material considered, please send complete information by Monday at noon 11 days prior to publication. Send to: Tucson Weekly, P.O. Box 27087, Tucson, AZ 85726, or fax information to 792-2096, or e-mail us at listings@tucsonweekly.com. DECEMBER 27, 2012 – JANUARY 2, 2013

TuCsONWEEKLY

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NEW YEAR’S EVE Event information is accurate as of press time. The Weekly recommends calling event organizers to check for last-minute changes in location, time, price, etc.

DANCE

TIKI IN TUCSON

NEW YEAR’S EVE DANCE Temple of Music and Art Cabaret Theater. 330 S. Scott Ave. 884-4875. The Tucson Friends of Traditional Music host a contra dance party featuring the Privy Tippers and a Cavalcade of Callers, from 8 p.m. to midnight, Monday, Dec. 31; $10 includes non-alcoholic champagne at midnight. Bring food to share and dress for the occasion.

FILM NEW YEAR’S EVE ON THE POSEIDON Loft Cinema. 3233 E. Speedway Blvd. 795-7777. New Year’s Eve is celebrated upside down with a screening of 1972’s The Poseidon Adventure at a party featuring prizes, party favors, light hors d’oeuvres, a ’70s costume contest and a champagne toast, starting at 11 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; $8, $6 Loft members. Visit loftcinema.com for more information.

MUSIC BISBEE ROYALE The Bisbee Royale. 94 Main St. Bisbee. (520) 4326750. Buzz and the Soul Senders, Dylan Charles and The Border Crossers perform starting at 8 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; $10. DAKOTA CAFE AND CATERING CO. Dakota Cafe and Catering Co. 6541 E. Tanque Verde Road. 298-7188. John Ronstadt performs from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31. Call for more information. JESSE PETERS TRIO Green Valley Recreation West Center. 1111 Via Arco Iris. Green Valley. 625-0288. The Jesse Peters Trio performs jazz-edged soul, including many original songs, at a New Year’s celebration from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; $29. Hors d’oeuvres, wine and set-ups precede the concert. Call 625-3440 for reservations and more information. PLUSH Plush. 340 E. Sixth St. 798-1298. The Electric Blankets perform at 11:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; $10. Visit plushtucson.com for more information. THE ROCK The Rock. 136 N. Park Ave. 629-9211. Tucson Rock Alliance presents the Pigeon John All-Ages Bash featuring Sneaky Jay, Black One, Johnny Redd, Kylive and the Other Guy, Marley B., The Aces and DJ Kindaphresh starting at 7 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; $15, $10 advance. Visit rocktucson.com for tickets and more information. TWO GREEN TOMATOZ Silver King Hotel. 43 Brewery Ave. Bisbee. (520) 4323723. Jazz singer and guitarist Nancy Weaver and singer-percussionist Judy Perry perform jazz standards and humorous songs about Bisbee from 8 to 11 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; free.

KON TIKI 4625 E. Broadway Blvd. 323-7193; www.kontikitucson.com

Tired of the same old noisemakers, ball drop and run-of-the-mill resolutions? Try something a little different this year. If you can’t afford to spend your New Year’s relaxing in Hawaii, try Tucson’s own Little Hawaii at the Kon Tiki. Indulge in a dinner show featuring legendary performer Ernie Menehune, a native of the island of Kauai. Menehune has been performing in Arizona since 1952, and has played all over the country, even for a time at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. “I love to sing, (and) I like to celebrate,” said Menehune, who has performed at the Kon Tiki’s New Year’s events in years past. “I tell funny stories and do Hawaiian singing.” Menehune is accompanied by a Polynesian dance group. Louie Lazos, owner of the Kon Tiki, said he appreciates what a stellar performer Menehune is. “He gets the crowd involved,” said Lazos. “He ran the circuit in Vegas for many years.” The cost to attend is $35, which includes party favors, dinner (Hawaiian barbeque with traditional prime rib), a glass of champagne and the show. At midnight, there will be a free champagne toast, and cab rides are half-off all night. Lazos knows he’s created a special event in Tucson for New Year’s Eve. “It’s different. You get the same old thing everywhere else,” he said. “This is unique. ... It’s like getting away in your own backyard.” Call 323-7193 to make a reservation.

BY A. GREENE

SPECIAL EVENTS ARIZONA INN Arizona Inn. 2200 E. Elm St. 325-1541. An evening featuring champagne cocktails and an open bar, dancing, a multi-course meal, wine-pairings, party favors and music by the Tucson Symphony Orchestra soloists, the TSO String Quartet and SwingN’ the New jazz band takes place at 6:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; $225. Call 882-8585, or visit tucsonsymphony.org for tickets or more information. BOONDOCKS LOUNGE Boondocks Lounge. 3306 N. First Ave. 690-0991. Bryan Dean Trio and Mitzi and the Valiants perform from 8 until after midnight, Monday, Dec. 31, to welcome the

CONTINUED ON PAGE 24 22 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

New Year’s Eve Dinner Party and Luau Featuring Ernie Menehune 7 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31

YOUR ONE-STOP PARTY SHOP FOR THE APOCALYPSE! New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve at A NEW YEARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S LOOK AT DECADES PAST

START THE NEW YEAR LAUGHING

NEON: â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s and â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s Video Dance Party 9 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31

New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s at Laffs Comedy Caffe 7 or 10:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31

RIALTO THEATRE 318 E. Congress St. 740-1000; www.rialtotheatre.com

LAFFS COMEDY CAFFE 2900 E. Broadway Blvd. 323-8669; www.laffstucson.com

Before going forward in time to 2013, step back to the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s and â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s, and remember the good olâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; days and all the wonders they provided: Michael Jackson, slap bracelets, glow sticks and parachute pants. You canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t truly appreciate the New Year until you remember the Old Years, and how we got to where we are today. NEON is a retrospective of sorts: a glam tribute to the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s and â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s, featuring the classic music videos of the day, projected on big screens and played through seriously loud sound systems. The Rialtoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s getting all dolled up for the occasion with themed decorations, and attendees should plan on doing the same: Wear your favorite costume, and have your photo taken at the photo-scene setup. But above all, make sure you come prepared to dance. Adam Blanchard, founder of Blanchard Presents, which is putting on the event in conjunction with the Rialto, has put on events like this is Vegas, but this will be the Arizona debut. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Having everyone in the room with the music pumping and lights flashing is a blast,â&#x20AC;? said Blanchard. In addition to the music videos, there will be a free champagne toast at midnight, and a special midnight performance by Michael Jackson impersonator Cameron the Thriller. NEON is an 18-and-older event; tickets are $10 in advance, and $15 the day of. For $35, while available, you can get a VIP package, which allows access to a â&#x20AC;&#x153;private floorâ&#x20AC;? of the Rialto, a private bartender, party appetizers and a free bottle of champagne. Plus, you can be onstage while M.J. performs. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to describe unless you see it,â&#x20AC;? said Blanchard. So come see for yourself the neon glow that will radiate from the Rialto Theatre, and dance your way from the 1980s to 2013.

To Gary Hood, owner of Laffs Comedy Club, coming to the New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s event at Laffs is a no-brainer. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fun all year â&#x20AC;&#x2122;round?â&#x20AC;? asked Hood. â&#x20AC;&#x153;A comedy club.â&#x20AC;? According to Hood, the fact that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, and everybody is already celebrating, enhances the already-fun atmosphere. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The vibes are great,â&#x20AC;? he said. Laffs has been hosting New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fun since 1988. This year, there are two shows you can attend; the 7 p.m. champagne dinner show, where youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have a choice of three entrĂŠes; or the 10:30 p.m.-to-midnight breakfast buffet. Hood said there will be just about everything you could want for breakfast. Both are $25 per person, plus tax and tip. At both shows, expect plenty of prizes, like gift certificates, meals for two, nights at a hotel and even a stay at the Riviera in Las Vegas, which is up for grabs at the breakfast buffet show. On the stage will be three comedians: Trenton Davis, Sid Davis and the headliner, Scotty Blanco. Hood described Blancoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s act as being very animated with physical observational humor. Blanco will have the stage for about 45 minutes. And if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re pigging out at the breakfast buffet, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry: Hood and the gang are keeping an eye on the clock, so you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss out on the big moment. â&#x20AC;&#x153;People show up already with a smile,â&#x20AC;? said Hood. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They say Disneyland is happy, but you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have as much champagne as you want in Disneyland.â&#x20AC;? Buy tickets in advance online at www.laffstucson.com, or call 3238669.

BY A. GREENE

7pm Champagne Dinner Your Choice of Sirloin Beef Tips, Chicken Breast or Salmon Entree Comedy Caffe

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or 10:30pm Midnight Champagne Breakfast

GRAND PRIZE VEGAS GIVEAWAYS AT BOTH SHOWS! Other Prizes and Giveaways Galore

GET YOUR SEATS NOW 32-FUNNY or laffstucson.com

WHAT A WAY TO GO OUT!

BY A. GREENE

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5954 E. SPEEDWAY BLVD. TUCSON, AZ. 85712 DECEMBER 27, 2012 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; JANUARY 2, 2013 TuCsON WEEKLY

SPECIAL EVENTS

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native american comfort food southwestern comfor t food

BRODIEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TAVERN Brodieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tavern. 2449 N. Stone Ave. 622-0447. A New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve celebration includes DJ Kravus at 9 p.m., Dec. 31; sign-up for the Hottest â&#x20AC;&#x153;Baby New Yearâ&#x20AC;? contest at 9 p.m., with the contest at 11 p.m.; champagne toast and party favors at midnight.

WEEKLY SPECIAL

New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Special Two Eggs, Fried Green Tomatoes, Cheese Grits, Ham and Fancy Pants Red Eye Gravy.

CASINO DEL SOL Casino del Sol. 5655 W. Valencia Road. 344-9435. Party favors, a balloon drop and a champagne toast at midnight are included in a New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve party featuring the Sensation Show Band at 7:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31, in the event center; $75. A Tejano New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve Bash takes place in the Bingo Hall; free. Visit casinodelsol.com for tickets and more information.

Start Your New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Off Right! Black Eyed Peas and Collard Greens

CHICAGO BAR Chicago Bar. 5954 E. Speedway Blvd. 748-8169. Chicago Bar and Twelve Tribes present Jahmar Internationalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve masquerade celebration on Monday, Dec. 31. Doors open at 9 p.m. A champagne toast takes place at midnight. $8 pre-sale, $10 at the door. Call for more information.

OPEN â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;TIL YEARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S 3PM STARTING 2ND OPEN NEW DAY 8AM -JAN NOONISH

8 (3"/5 3% t IN THE GRANTSTONE PLAZA Mon-Sat 6am-2pm t Sunday 7am-2pm

DESERT DIAMOND ENTERTAINMENT CENTER Desert Diamond Entertainment Center. 1100 W. Pima Mine Road. 294-7777. The band Decades rings in the new year with a â&#x20AC;&#x2122;70s and â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s dance party, from 8 p.m. to midnight, Monday, Dec. 31; $25. Visit ddcaz.com on the Sahuarita tab for tickets and more information.

OPEN â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;TIL 3PM STARTING JAN 2ND

CELEBRATE NEW

YEARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S EVE AT THE

MONDAY A TUESDAY A WEDNESDAY A

THURSDAY A FRIDAY A

PER PERSON AT THE DOOR

INCLUDES

Appetizers, Champagne Toast and DJ AJ All Night

SATURD A AY A SUNDAY A

22nd & Kolb t 747-1421 .0/ 4"5 ". ". t 46/ ". 1.

Begin your Celebration with New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve Dinner! Ala carte menu also available.

Live Music by Tucson favorite, John Ronstadt.

IBTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IBTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. 616 N. Fourth Ave. 882-3053. A black-and-white dance party starts at 9 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31, with DJ Mike Lopez, a champagne toast and balloon drop at midnight, and DJ Million $ on the patio; $5. JW MARRIOTT STARR PASS RESORT AND SPA JW Marriott Starr Pass Resort and Spa. 3800 W. Starr Pass Blvd. 792-3500. A five-course meal is followed by music for dancing starting at 6:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; $203 to $273 includes free champagne at midnight. Music is provided by jazz artist Rick Braun with Richard Elliot and Peter White, and the Tucson Jazz Instituteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ellington Band. Proceeds from a silent auction benefit the Tucson Alliance for Autism, the National Autism Society and the Tucson Jazz Societyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s youth music-education program.

MAVERICK Maverick. 6622 E. Tanque Verde Road. 298-0430. Doors open at 6 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31, for a countdown party featuring music by Flipside, party favors, and a champagne toast at midnight; $20. Special dinner menu selections are available separately. Visit mavericktucson.com for more information.

Dinner 5-10pm Reservations 520-298-7188

WWW.4THAVENUEYOGA.COM CLASS SCHEDULE ONLINE

298-7188

HOTEL CONGRESS Hotel Congress. 311 E. Congress St. 622-8848. The Studio 54 New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve Bash features live music, DJ, dance floor, party favors, a champagne toast at midnight, and whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s purported to be the biggest disco ball in the Western Hemisphere, starting at 8 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; $25. VIP tickets include private entertainment, front-of-line service, a hosted bar, passed hors dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;oeuvres, appetizer stations and a free photo booth; $125. Visit hotelcongress.com/music for tickets.

LA COCINA La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar. 201 N. Court Ave. 622-0351. DJ Herm and friends perform, starting at 8 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31. A midnight ball drop and champagne toast are offered. $5 cover.

Champagne Specials.

6541 N Tanque Verde. Located in a quiet corner of Trail Dust Town

EL PARADOR El Parador. 2744 E. Broadway Blvd. 881-2744. A New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve Salsa party starts at 10 p.m, Monday, Dec. 31, with live music by Combo Unica. $25 with reservation; includes a reserved table, champagne and party favors.

KON TIKI Kon Tiki. 4625 E. Broadway Blvd. 323-7193. Dinner, party favors, half-off cab rides, a champagne toast at midnight and a dinner show starring Ernie Menehune welcome 2013, starting at 7 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; $35. Reservations are required.

Special Three course Dinner for 2 includes Appetizer, Entrees & Dessert $65.

24 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 22

new year; $15 includes party favors and a champagne toast at midnight. The grill is open until 10:30 p.m. with the regular menu.

MESCAL BAR AND GRILL Mescal Bar and Grill. 70 N. Cherokee Trail. Mescal. (520) 586-3905. Appetizers, noise-makers, karaoke, a DJ and a champagne toast celebrate the new year starting at 9 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31. THE MINT Mint Cocktails. 3540 E. Grant Road. 881-9169. The Barbara Harris band provides music for a celebration

CONTINUED ON PAGE 27

WALTZ INTO 2013 Tucson Symphony Orchestra Moveable Musical Feast 6:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31 ARIZONA INN 2200 E. Elm St. 882-8585; www.tucsonsymphony.org

Make this New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve a truly extravagant occasion, with dinner and dancing at the lovely Arizona Innâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and most importantly, with the Tucson Symphony Orchestra! The night is filled with musicâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; including two concerts and music by the TSOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s SwingNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; the New jazz ensemble. The first concert will be played by Emma Votapek on violin, David Morgan on the tuba, and Paula Fan on piano. Shawn Campbell, vice president of artistic engagement and education for the TSO, describes the pieces being played by Votapek as showpieces for the violin, and said that she expects Morganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s performance of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Blue Bells of Scotlandâ&#x20AC;? to bring down the house. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It will be a chance for people to hear how melodic the tuba is,â&#x20AC;? said Campbell. The second concert of the night will be from the TSO String Quartet, who will be playing the Love Theme From Romeo and Juliet, among other songs that Campbell is sure people will recognize. â&#x20AC;&#x153;(Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re) lovely, classic romantic songs,â&#x20AC;? Campbell said. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re worried about sitting still for too long, fear not: The evening will be interspersed with a gourmet dinner, dessert and coffeeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and with the TSOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s SwingNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; the New dance band at the end of the night. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fun; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a stiff thing at all,â&#x20AC;? assured Campbell. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re never just stuck in one place for too long.â&#x20AC;? Tickets are $225 per person, and the price is all-inclusive. Call the TSO box office for more information and reservations, or go online at www.tucsonsymphony.org. Campbell said there are a lot of great things about the Moveable Musical Feast. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s really the ultimate way to celebrate New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve for grownups. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not stuffy, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very elegant. ... Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just that perfect combination!â&#x20AC;?

BY A. GREENE

DECEMBER 27, 2012 – JANUARY 2, 2013

TuCsONWEEKLY

It’s like an online daily newspaper. Except it doesn’t

suck!

Visit The Range at daily.tucsonweekly.com

Start 2013 off right and “RA”ck out in the RA this New Year’s Eve for a night to remember — or one you just might forget. Enjoy festive food & drink specials while a special

“RA”ckin’ NYE

guest DJ spins hot beats throughout the night. New Year’s Eve is more fun in the RA.

26 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

Food Specials: Firework Shrimp “RA”solution Roll Stroke of Midnight Maki Edamame Eve Dip Drink Specials: Half Price Sake (All bottles)

$7 Midnight Kiss Dragonberry Rum muddled with fresh berries, raspberry liqueur & fresh juices. $6 Ball Droppin’ Bombers Choose from Kirin or Kirin Light. Flavor your sake for $1 more (Apple, Mango, Melon or Raspberry). $5 Midnight’s Margaritas Frozen Yuzu: Sauza Tequila frozen together with premium citrus sour mix & Japanese Yuzu. Blue Yuzu, Mango & Strawberry ﬂavors. Miyagi: Sauza Gold tequila mixed with house made yuzu sour, fresh lime juice & triple sec. Traditional (Yuzu), Mango, Strawberry & Cucumber ﬂavors.

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FIND US. FOLLOW US.

SPECIAL EVENTS

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 24

that also includes noisemakers, a champagne toast, party favors and watching the ball drop at Times Square, starting at 8 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; no cover. MONTEREY COURT STUDIO GALLERIES AND CAFE Monterey Court Studio Galleries and CafĂŠ. 505 W. Miracle Mile. 207-2429. Baba Marimba provides music for dancing from 7 to 10 p.m., and then plays acoustically until midnight, Monday, Dec. 31; $10 includes champagne toasts at midnight, both EST and MST. A four-course, fixed-price dinner is included for $40. Reservations are requested for dinner; call 207-2429, ext. 1.

includes a candle-lit, three-course dinner, after-dinner dancing, party favors and a champagne toast at midnight, starting at 7:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; $75. Visit tucsondinnertheatre.com for more information; call 624-0172 for reservations. PINNACLE PEAK PISTOLEROS Trail Dust Town. 6541 E. Tanque Verde Road. 2964551. A holiday-themed Wild West stunt show, Santaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Little Outlaws, takes place at 7 and 8 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31. $4, $2 child younger than 12. Visit wildweststuntshow.com, or call 398-5618.

y a r p irs

MUSIC BOX LOUNGE Appetizers, dancing with DJ AJ and a champagne toast at midnight are featured in a New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve celebration from 9 p.m. to midnight, Monday, Dec. 31; $10 at the door. PLAYGROUND Playground Bar and Lounge. 278 E. Congress St. 3963691. A tribute to Daft Punk, an all-star DJ lineup and midnight champagne on three floors ring in the new year starting at 7 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; $20. Visit â&#x20AC;&#x153;Playground Bar and Loungeâ&#x20AC;? on Facebook to pre-order. RIALTO THEATRE Rialto Theatre. 318 E. Congress St. 740-1000. Dress up for time travel to the neon haze of the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s and â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s starting at 9 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; $10, $35 VIP, includes noisemakers, glam party favors, confetti, balloons, and a free champagne toast at midnight. VIPs have exclusive access to the Rialtoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stage. Call for reservations and more information. THE RITZ-CARLTON DOVE MOUNTAIN Ritz-Carlton, Dove Mountain. 15000 N. Secret Springs Drive. Marana. 572-3000. New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s guests gather on the Tortolita Terrace to sing â&#x20AC;&#x153;Auld Lang Syne,â&#x20AC;? enjoy a champagne toast and watch a fireworks display at 11:45 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; free. Festivities begin with a four-course a la carte dinner; $145 per person; reservations are required.

m.tucsonweekly.com Use the Tucson Weekly mobile website to ďŹ nd all the info you need! Happy Hours, Movies, Events, Best of Tucson: Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all there.

SURLY WENCH PUB Surly Wench Pub. 424 N. Fourth Ave. 882-0009. DJ Matt Mccoy provides music for a dance party starting at 10 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; $5. WORLD FAMOUS GOLDEN NUGGET World Famous Golden Nugget. 2617 N. First Ave. 622-9202. Patrons celebrate the advent of 2013 with a champagne toast, hats, noisemakers and a round of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Auld Lang Syneâ&#x20AC;? at 6 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; free. The party continues until the bar closes at 7 p.m. ZEN ROCK Zen Rock. 121 E. Congress St. 624-9100. DJs Mastamonk, White Shadow and Super Mario provide music for dancing starting at 8 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31. Call for ticket prices.

THEATER

340 e 6th St plushtucson.com

NYE 2013 MONTEREY COURT

MAGICAL MYSTERY DINNER THEATRE Sheraton Hotel and Suites. 5151 E. Grant Road. 323-6262. A New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve production of the interactive, full-length play Murder at the Vampireâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wedding

NYE $8 doors @ 8pm

BLANCHARD PRESENTS

Dining & Dancing Celebration with BABA MARIMBA t MUSIC t FOOD t COCKTAILS t CHAMPAGNE t FRIENDS t FUN Monday, December 31st 7-10pm Full Band 10pm Champagne Toast 10pm-12am Acoustic Music Cafe & Bar open until 1am Prix Fixe Menu, Champagne Toast, Show $40 (Must RSVP by Dec. 28th) Show and Champagne Toast $10 Reservations & Information at 207-2429 ext 1 or info@montereycourtaz.com

FOX TUCSON THEATRE Fox Tucson Theatre. 17 W. Congress St. 624-1515. Comedian Paula Poundstone, a regular guest on NPRâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s weekly show, Wait Wait ... Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Tell Me, performs at 8 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; $29.50 to $49. Visit foxtucsontheatre.org for tickets and more information. LAFFS COMEDY CAFFĂ&#x2030; Laffs Comedy CaffĂŠ. 2900 E. Broadway Blvd. 3238669. Comic Scotty Blanco performs two shows on Monday, Dec. 31: a 7 p.m. early dinner show, and a 10:30 p.m. champagne breakfast show; $25 per person. Prize giveaways include free trips to Las Vegas. Visit laffstucson.com/nye.html for reservations.

m.tucsonweekly.com

RJâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S REPLAYS SPORTS PUB AND GRUB RJâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Replays Sports Pub and Grub. 5769 E. Speedway Blvd. 495-5136. A DJ, a champagne toast, a balloon drop, party hats, favors and pyrotechnics welcome 2013 starting at 8 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; no cover. SKY BAR Sky Bar. 536 N. Fourth Ave. 622-4300. A New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve dance party features Hot Eraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s RCougar DJs, no-host specialty cocktails, and Jupiter and the brightest stars live from outer space, at 8 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; free admission.

ET K N A

505 West Miracle Mile 520-207-2429 www.MontereyCourtAZ.com

LIVE MIDNIGHT PERFORMANCE BY MICHAEL JACKSON AND HIS DANCE CREW (CAMERON THE THRILLER)

"/% 0-%&3 1. %0034 WICKED FREE CHAMPAGNE TOAST DRINK SPECIALS & PARTY FAVORS RIGHTEOUS COSTUMES

DOPE JAMES BY O/W/L/S XXX 3*"-505)&"53& $0. t DECEMBER 27, 2012 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; JANUARY 2, 2013

TuCsONWEEKLY

SPECIAL EVENTS

TQ&A

EVENTS THIS WEEK

Ethel Luzario

HOLIDAYS AT THE CORBETT HOUSE Tucson Museum of Art. 140 N. Main Ave. 624-2333. The historic mission-revival style Corbett House, which is included on the Tucson Museum of Art historic block, is decked out in holiday finery for tours: noon and 1 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 27, through Saturday, Dec. 29; 1 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 30, and Jan. 6; noon, Wednesday, Jan. 2, through Friday, Jan. 4. $10, $8 senior, $5 college student with ID, free age 18 or younger, active military or veteran with ID, and TMA members. Visit tucsonmuseumofart.org for more information.

On Saturday, Dec. 29, Pueblo Magnet High School will host a Market on the Move, a project started by the Phoenix-based 3000 Club that brings fresh produce for purchase to communities in Phoenix and Tucson. According to Ethel Luzario, the co-founder and CEO of the 3000 Club, for just a $10 donation, you can take home up to 60 pounds of fruits and veggies. You just show up; make your donation; and share the produce with friends, family and neighbors in need. The market is from 8 to 11 a.m., at the 3500 S. 12th Ave. school. For more information, go to www.the3000club.org.

WINTERHAVEN FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS Winterhaven Neighborhood. Fort Lowell Road between Country Club Road and Tucson Boulevard. The Winterhaven Neighborhood’s massive holiday light display continues through Saturday, Dec. 29. Hours are 5:30 to 10 p.m., daily; free. Donations of nonperishable food and money for the Tucson Community Food Bank are encouraged. Drive-through nights are Friday and Saturday, Dec. 28 and 29. Visit winterhavenfestival.org.

Mari Herreras, mherreras@tucsonweekly.com

How did Market on the Move start? Lon Taylor, the founder and myself, participated in the third annual AzBiz Green Conference and Expo in Glendale on Oct. 7, 2010. We brought in … 20 to 40 pounds of watermelon and gave those to the participants. … We distributed our brochure to bring awareness about the 3000 Club’s food rescue and redistribution program. One lady came up and told us that we should name ourselves Market on the Move. What locations did the market start at? Two days after that lady suggested the name, we launched our first Market on the Move event at Mekong Plaza in Mesa. For a donation of $10, one can get up to 60 pounds of fresh fruits and vegetables, which, in turn, they can share with their friends, relatives, next-door neighbors, officemates or anyone they believe is in need. In this event, we collaborated with the Philippine Nurses Association of Arizona, who provided free health screenings to the public. The Market on the Move was introduced in Tucson in early 2011 and started in a private compound of our Tucson executive director and board member, Ester Havey, along Nogales Highway. Are the partners different in Tucson and Phoenix? We started collaborating with faith-based and service orga28 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

nizations in 2010, adding elementary and high schools, service and communitybased organizations in 2011. For 2012, we have added two high schools in Mesa and Phoenix, whose volunteers are in the culinary curriculum. … One partnership in 2011 with the undergraduate students of the food-management class from the Nutritional Sciences Department in the UA College of Agriculture and Life Sciences was spearheaded by Pat Sparks, one of the faculty members. The students prepared facts on vegetables that come through Market on the Move with information about nutrition, preparation and storage. Where do the veggies come from? The produce comes from the various produce brokers in Nogales, Ariz. The rescue efforts are done by the Borderlands Food Bank, with Market on the Move handling its redistribution and marketing in the metro Phoenix and Tucson areas. How did the Pueblo Magnet High School location come up? Mary Wallace at Pueblo Magnet High School approached (Ester) Havey with an interest to become a market host early last year. At that time, we couldn’t do it with them, since there was a host site that is very close to the school. Actually, the first local high school that hosted Market on the Move was Sunnyside High School.

They started almost at the same time with Pima Community College. How many people do you think the market has served in Tucson? Looking at our statistics for the month of November, we served about 4,000 people who came in to receive produce, which, in turn, they shared with two to three other families, which means it benefited between 8,000 to 12,000 families. Some folks who love the market have complained it’s become too popular. It became too popular for the simple reason that there is a huge need out there, and we have responded. A majority of the folks have a complete understanding of what our program is all about—that it was meant for sharing with others and not just for their personal consumption. We see people from all walks of life who are currently in transition— unable to be serviced by the food banks and not meeting the required income thresholds—visiting our locations. How do you decide locations? Do you need folks to volunteer spaces? We make our decisions based on the site’s commitment to have the market as an outreach to their community; a committed and dedicated site coordinator and volunteers; good-size parking; and a good distance from the rest of the market sites.

BULLETIN BOARD EVENTS THIS WEEK HOLIDAY MODULAR MODEL-TRAIN LAYOUT Tucson VA Hospital. 3601 S. Sixth Ave. A model-train layout with a Christmas theme runs in the Lindsay Auditorium from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 27; and 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., Friday, Dec. 28; free. JEWISH PIONEERS OF ARIZONA CEMETERY TOUR Evergreen Cemetery. 3015 N. Oracle Road. 888-7470. Barry Friedman guides a tour presenting the legends and history of Tucson’s Jewish pioneers and explaining why they have no headstones, at 10 a.m., Thursday, Dec. 27; $10. Meet inside the cemetary gate. Call 6709073 for reservations and more information. MARKET ON THE MOVE Pueblo Magnet High School. 3500 S. 12th Ave. 2254300. Shoppers get up to 60 pounds of fresh produce for $10, from 8 to 11 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 29; free admission. For composting and animal feed, spoiled and damaged produce is also available. Call 225-4510, or email lourdes.rios@tusd1.org for more information or to volunteer to help with the distribution. Market on the Move rescues and distributes fresh fruits and vegetables free to food banks and families in need. RECYCLE THE CHRISTMAS TREE The city of Tucson provides no pickup service for Christmas trees. Homeowners may discard their Christmas trees at nine Fairfax Companies locations on Monday, Dec. 31, and Wednesday through Friday, Jan. 2 through 4. Trees are shredded into chips for mulch and other uses. Chips are available free after Jan. 2 at Udall Park, 7200 E. Tanque Verde Road; and Randolph Park, 200 S. Randolph Way. Drop-off locations are at tucsonaz.gov/esd. WANT TO BE IN OUR SPRING ARTS PREVIEW? We want to tell the world everything you’re doing in fine art, theater, music, literature, performance and the humanities, from Thursday, Jan. 24, through Wednesday, Aug. 14. Our deadline is Friday, Jan. 4. Just send the basics—title, date, time, place, ticket prices, contact info and website—to listings@tucsonweekly. com, and put “Spring Arts” in the subject line. We don’t even need complete sentences!

OUT OF TOWN COMPUTER CLASSES Oro Valley Public Library. 1305 W. Naranja Drive. Oro Valley. 229-5300. Classes are free, but reservations are required. Get one-on-one help in understanding free digital downloads, and download eBooks, audiobooks and videos to your device, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 27. Bring your device and your library card or PIN. A workshop, “Computer Survival Skills,” covers performance issues and troubleshooting, from 10 a.m. to noon, Wednesdays, Jan. 2 and 9. A workshop, “Safety First: Privacy and Security Online,” covers the use of passwords, good security habits, virus protection, firewalls and more from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 10 and 17. Call after Thursday, Dec. 27, to register. Adults and teens learn how to buy and sell worldwide on eBay, from 6 to 8 p.m., Wednesday, Jan. 16 and 23; free. Call after Wednesday, Jan. 2, to register. SEE THE SKY THROUGH A .9 M TELESCOPE Kitt Peak National Observatory. State Route 86, Tohono O’odham Reservation. 318-8726. Astronomy education

specialists give an overview of what’s in the night sky, and then participants see for themselves through the 38-inch WIYN Consortium Research Telescope, starting at 5:30 p.m., Friday through Sunday, Dec. 28 through 30; $129 includes a sit-down dinner at the Kitt Peak dining hall. Only 20 seats are available each night, and reservations are required. Call 318-8726 to register. WRITERS’ WORKSHOP Oro Valley Public Library. 1305 W. Naranja Drive. Oro Valley. 229-5300. Alexis Powers leads a workshop for discovering creative-writing techniques and discussing participants’ essays, short stories, novels, memoirs and stories for children from 9 to 11 a.m., the first and third Wednesday of every month, through June 27; free. Visit orovalleylib.com for dates and more information.

UPCOMING FREECYCLE FREE POST-HOLIDAY SWAP Swap things you don’t want for others’ unwanted treasures from 2 to 4 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 5; free. Swaps take place at Woods Memorial Library, 3455 N. First Ave.; Valencia Branch Library, 202 W. Valencia Road; Dusenberry-River Library, 5605 E. River Road, #105; Flowing Wells Branch Library, 1730 W. Wetmore road; and Martha Cooper Library, 1377 N. Catalina Ave.; free. ORO VALLEY TOASTMASTERS Golder Fire Station No. 377. 355 E. Linda Vista Blvd. Oro Valley. 825-9001. Toastmasters helps increase selfconfidence and communicate more effectively at 6:16 p.m., the first and third Monday of every month; free. Call 314-8008 for more information. PIMA COUNCIL ON AGING REPRESENTATIVE Oro Valley Public Library. 1305 W. Naranja Drive. Oro Valley. 229-5300. People older than 50 who need information and referrals for housing options, transportation, food, mental health, caregiving, social services and legal aid meet with a representative of the Pima Council on Aging from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., the second and fourth Tuesday of every month. No appointment is needed. TUCSON YOGA EXPO Tucson Yoga. 150 S. Fourth Ave. 988-1832. Classes are free from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 5. Visit tucsonyoga.com/expo for details. Bring a yoga mat or rent one for $1.

ANNOUNCEMENTS FARMERS’ MARKETS Alan Ward Downtown Mercado: south lawn of the Main Library, 101 N. Stone Ave., 8 a.m. to 2 p.m., Wednesday, October through May; 8 a.m. to 1 p.m., Wednesday, June through September (339-4008). Arivaca Farmers’ Market: 16800 Arivaca Road, Arivaca, 9 a.m. to noon, Saturday. Bear Canyon Open Air Market: northwest corner of Tanque Verde Road and the Catalina Highway, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., Saturday (982-2645). Bisbee Farmers’ Market: Vista Park in the Warren section, 8 a.m. to noon, Saturday (520-227-5060). Community Food Bank: 3003 S. Country Club Road, 8 a.m. to noon, Tuesday (622-0525). Corona de Tucson Farmers’ Market: 15921 S. Houghton Road, Vail, 8 a.m. to noon, Friday (870-1106). Douglas Farmers’ Market: Raul Castro Park, between D and E avenues, downtown Douglas, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., Sunday (520-805-5938 or 520-805-0086). El Presidio Plaza Park Mercado: 115 N. Church Ave., 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., Friday (339-4008). El Pueblo Farmers’ Market: El Pueblo Neighborhood Center parking lot, SW corner of Irvington Road and Sixth Avenue, 8 to 11 a.m., Saturday (882-3304). Elgin Farmers’ Market: KiefJoshua Vineyards, 370 Elgin Road, Elgin, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Sunday, May through October (520-455-5582). Farmers’ Markets at La Posada Green Valley: 665 S. Park Centre Ave., Green Valley, is 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., Monday (603-8116). Farmers’ Market at Voyager RV Resort: 8701 S. Kolb Road, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., Thursday (603-8116). Friday Farmers’ Market at Broadway Village: 2926 E. Broadway Blvd., 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Friday (603-8116). Green Valley Village Farmers’ Market: 101 S. La Cañada Drive, Green Valley, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Wednesday (490-3315). Marana Farmers’ Market: 13395 N. Marana Main Street, Marana, 3 to 6 p.m., Tuesday (882-3313). Metal Arts Village Saturday Morning Market: 3230 N. Dodge Blvd., 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., Saturday (326-5657). Oracle Farmers’ Market: 2805 N. Triangle L Ranch Road, 9 a.m. to noon, Saturday (896-2123). Oro Valley Farmers’ Market: Town Hall at the corner of La Cañada Drive and Naranja Road, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., Saturday (882-2157). Plaza Palomino: 2970 N. Swan Road, winter: 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Saturday; summer: 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., Saturday (plazapalomino.com). Rincon Valley Farmers’ and Artisans’ Market: 12500 E. Old Spanish Trail, winter: 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., Saturday; summer: 8 a.m. to 1 p.m., Saturday (591-2276). St. David Farmers’ Market: St. David High School, 70 E. Patton St., St. David, 9 a.m. to noon, Saturday, May through October (520-221-1074). St. Philip’s Plaza Saturday Farmers’ Market: St. Philip’s Plaza, southeast corner of River Road and Campbell Avenue, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., Saturday (603-8116). Santa Cruz River Farmers’ Market:

Mercado San AgustĂn, 100 S. Avenida del Convento, 4 to 7 p.m., Thursday (622-0525). San Manuel Farmersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Market: 801 McNab Parkway, 8 a.m. to noon, Saturday (520-212-2337). Sierra Vista Farmersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Market: corner of Carmichael Avenue and Willcox Drive, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Thursday; and corner of Charleston Road and Highway 90 bypass, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Saturday (520678-2638). Sunsites Farmersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Market: Shadow Mountain Golf Course, 1105 Irene St., Sunsites, 8 a.m. to noon, Saturday (520-826-1250). Tucson Farmersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Market: St. Philipâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Plaza, southeast corner of River Road and Campbell Avenue, winter: 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., Sunday; summer: 8 a.m. to noon, Sunday (882-2157). Tucson Farmersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Market at Jesse Owens Park: Jesse Owens Park, 400 S. Sarnoff Drive, winter: 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., Friday; summer: 8 a.m. to noon, Friday (918-9811). Tucsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Green Art and Farmersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Market: 8995 E. Tanque Verde Road, 8 a.m. to 1 p.m., Saturday (982-2645). Ventana Plaza Farmersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Market: 5455 N. Kolb Road, 3 to 7 p.m., Tuesday (603-8116).

PLANT CLINIC WITH PAUL BESSEY AND ASSOCIATES Tucson Botanical Gardens. 2150 N. Alvernon Way. 3269686, ext. 10. Paul Bessey, retired UA Plant Sciences professor, answers questions about plant pests, disease and nutrient deficiencies, from 10 a.m. to noon, every Wednesday, through June 26; $13, $7.50 ages 4 through 12, $12 student, senior or military, includes admission to the gardens. TUCSON AFRICAN VIOLET SOCIETY The East Side Night Meeting of the Tucson African Violet Society gathers from 7 to 9 p.m., the first Wednesday of every month, at The Cascades, 201 N. Jessica Ave. The East Side Day Meeting takes place from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m., the second Wednesday of every month, at The Cascades. The Northwest Day Meeting takes place from 2:30 to 4:30 p.m., the second Thursday of every month, at The Inn at the Fountains at La Cholla, 2001 W. Rudasill Road.

BUSINESS & FINANCE

HEALTH

OUT OF TOWN

EVENTS THIS WEEK

SCORE BUSINESS COUNSELING Oro Valley Public Library. 1305 W. Naranja Drive. Oro Valley. 229-5300. Experienced executives give individualized advice about starting or building a business, from 9 a.m. to noon, every Monday and Saturday; free by appointment.

â&#x20AC;&#x2122;TIS THE SEASON TO BE POISONED Arizona Health Sciences Center. 1501 N. Campbell Ave. 626-7301. An exhibit of holiday hazards and related safety tips arranged around a parody of â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Visit From St. Nicholasâ&#x20AC;? continues through Thursday, Jan. 10, in the library near the Java City coffee bar; free. Holiday hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 27, and Friday, Dec. 28. The library is closed Saturday, Dec. 29, through Tuesday, Jan. 1. Call 626-6165, or email barta@pharmacy.arizona.edu for more information.

UPCOMING HIDDEN JOB MARKET PROGRAM PLAN Oro Valley Public Library. 1305 W. Naranja Drive. Oro Valley. 229-5300. John Shattuck of Tucson Job Seekers presents a workshop about how to identify and use the hidden job market, from 9 a.m. to 12:45 p.m., Monday, Jan. 7; free. Call to register.

FILM EVENTS THIS WEEK FOX TUCSON THEATRE Fox Tucson Theatre. 17 W. Congress St. 624-1515. The classic paranormal comedy Ghostbusters screens at 7:30 p.m., Friday and Saturday, Dec. 28 and 29; $5 to $7. Visit foxtucsontheatre.org for tickets. LOFT CINEMA SPECIAL EVENTS Loft Cinema. 3233 E. Speedway Blvd. 795-7777. Tommy Wiseauâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Room is featured at 10 p.m., Friday and Saturday, Dec. 28 and 29; $9, $5 member. Visit loftcinema.com for a complete list of forthcoming films and to reserve tickets.

UPCOMING OUT IN THE DESERT FILM FESTIVAL Fluxx Studio and Gallery. 414 E. Ninth St. 882-0242. A launch party and fundraiser takes place at 7 p.m., Friday, Jan. 4. An artistsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; reception takes place at 7 p.m., Friday, Jan. 11. The festival runs from Wednesday through Sunday, Jan. 23 through 27; $125 festival pass, individual-screening prices TBD. For details visit outinthedesertff.org for details.

GARDENING EVENTS THIS WEEK BUTTERFLY MAGIC Tucson Botanical Gardens. 2150 N. Alvernon Way. 326-9686, ext. 10. Walk through a greenhouse full of beautiful and rare butterflies from 11 countries, through April 30, 2013. Hours are 9:30 a.m. to 3 p.m., daily; $13, $7.50 ages 4 through 12, $12 student, senior or military, includes admission to the gardens. GARDEN DESIGN COMPETITION Tucson Botanical Gardens. 2150 N. Alvernon Way. 326-9686, ext. 10. Landscape designers and architects must apply by Friday, Jan. 4, to participate in a 3-day competition to transform an empty 15- by 20-foot lot into Tucsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best Pocket Garden. Visit tucsonbotanical.org to apply and for more information. Judging and awards take place on Sunday, March 24, at a luncheon featuring Mary Irish as keynote speaker. Gardens will remain on display through May 30.

UPCOMING NAWBO HEALTH AND WELLNESS EXPO Doubletree by Hilton Hotel. 445 S. Alvernon Way. 881-4200. An expo including breakout sessions and a luncheon presentation, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Integrative and Traditional Medicine,â&#x20AC;? by Karen Mercereau, RN, takes place from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., Tuesday, Jan. 8; $25. Reservations are requested. Visit nawbotucsion.org, or call 326-2926 for reservations and more information.

TUCSON RIVER OF WORDS YOUTH POETRY AND ART TRAVELING EXHIBIT Wheeler Taft Abbett Sr. Branch Library. 7800 N. Schisler Drive. 594-5200. An exhibit of childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s poetry and art expressing their understanding of watersheds continues through Thursday, Jan. 31; free. Hours are 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Thursday; 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Friday; 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Saturday; and 1 to 5 p.m., Sunday. Call 615-7855, or e-mail eeducation@ pima.gov for more information.

OUT OF TOWN FAMILY FUN FOR THE HOLIDAYS El Rancho Robles. 1170 N. Rancho Robles Road. Oracle. 896-7651. Ornament-decorating, candy-cane hunts, hayrides and more take place in a turn-of-thecentury setting, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., every Saturday and Sunday, through Sunday, Dec. 30; free. Family photos or photos with Santa are $10 each. Email elranchorobles@gmail.com, or visit elranchorobles.com for more information.

UPCOMING BEYOND: LIGHTS OF KINDNESS Valley of the Moon. 2544 E. Allen Road. 323-1331. Historic tours, storytelling and crafts take place with fairy lights lining the paths, grottos, gardens and magic statues, from 2 to 6 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 5; freewill donation or a gently used book for Make Way for Books, which promotes early literacy. TSO JUST FOR KIDS Tucson Symphony Center. 2175 N. Sixth Ave. 8828585. The TSO Percussion Ensemble presents two performances of Peter and the Wolf, at 10 a.m. and 11:15 a.m., Saturday, Jan. 5; $3. Children are encouraged to dress as a favorite animal or to bring a stuffed-animal toy. Visit tucsonsymphony.org for more information. TUCSON CREATIVE DANCE CENTER Tucson Creative Dance Center. 3131 N. Cherry Ave. Mettler-based dance teacher Margo Taylor leads improvisational dancing for all ages from 10 a.m. to noon, Saturday, Jan. 5; free. Call 360-4442 for more info.

NON-SURGICAL WEIGHT MANAGEMENT Mimi Klaiman presents weight-management methods at 6 p.m., Tuesday, Jan. 8, at Himmel Park Library, 1035 N. Treat. Ave.; and Saturday, Jan. 19, at Joel D. Valdez Main Library, 101 N. Stone Ave.; free. Call 323-7291 for more information.

DIGITAL MEDIA MINI CAMP Martha Cooper Branch Library. 1377 N. Catalina Ave. 594-5315. Learn photo- and video-editing, sound production and scratch animation in a three-day class for middle and high school students, from 1 to 4 p.m., Wednesday through Friday, Jan. 2 through 4; free. Call for reservations.

HOLIDAY KIDSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; DAY CAMP Rhythm Industry Performance Factory. 1013 S. Tyndall Ave. 481-8003. Tucson Circus Arts instructors teach aerial acrobatics, poi-spinning, globe-walking, tumbling, tight rope and more from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., Thursday and Friday, Dec. 27 and 28; $40 per day, $65 both days. Email tucsoncircusarts@gmail.com to register and for more information. HOLIDAY PET FOOD DRIVE Speedway Veterinary Hospital. 3736 E. Speedway Blvd. 321-4235. Pet food is collected for the Humane Society of Southern Arizona, from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m., Monday through Friday, through Monday, Dec. 31.

GEOLOGY WALK Catalina State Park. Oracle Road, 5 miles north of Ina Road. 628-5798. Volunteer Karen Gray leads a hike about 2.5 miles and 1.5 to two hours long round-trip, at 9 a.m., Sunday, Dec. 30; $7 park entrance fee. Meet at the ramada in the picnic area to discuss maps, rocks and mountains seen from the trail. PONTATOC RIDGE TRAIL Sabino Canyon naturalists lead a medium-difficulty hike of 5 miles with a 1,200-foot elevation gain at 8:30 a.m., Friday, Dec. 28; free. The hike starts at the trailhead at the north end of Alvernon Way. Children younger than 18 must be accompanied by an adult. SUNDAY HIKES Catalina State Park. Oracle Road, 5 miles north of Ina Road. 628-5798. A moderately paced hike of 7 to 9 miles over 400- to 1,400-foot elevations takes place at 7:30 a.m., every Sunday in December, weather permitting; $7 park entrance fee. Call 638-5404 for reservations by 4 p.m. Saturday.

OUT OF TOWN PATAGONIA LAKE STATE PARK Patagonia Lake State Park. 400 Patagonia Lake Road. Patagonia. (520) 287-6965. Visitor center hours are 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Wednesday through Sunday. Avian tours take place on the pontoon boats at 9 a.m. and 10:15 a.m., daily. Pontoon boats depart for the Lake Discovery Tour to the west end of the lake at 11:30 a.m., daily. A twilight pontoon tour takes place just before dark on Saturdays. Each boat trip is $5. Bird walks are held every Monday and Friday at 9 a.m.; walks are about three hours long; free. Park entrance fees are $10 vehicle, $17 non-electric camping sites, $25 electric sites. Visit azstateparks.com for more information. SANTA CRUZ RIVER WALKS TumacĂĄcori National Historical Park. 1891 E. Frontage Road. TumacĂĄcori. 398-2341. A guide leads half-mile walks along a level, unpaved trail through rare habitat for birds and wildlife, at 10:30 a.m., every Wednesday, through April 24; free.

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EVENTS THIS WEEK

HISTORICAL TOUR OF AGUA CALIENTE PARK Agua Caliente Regional Park. 12325 E. Roger Road. 877-6000. All ages enjoy a guided tour of the parkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s historic structures, and learn about its farming and ranching history, from 11 a.m. to noon, Sunday, Dec. 30; free. Reservations are required. Call 615-7855, or email eeducation@pima.gov for reservations or more information.

EVENTS THIS WEEK

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KIDS & FAMILIES EGG NOG JOG Continental Reserve Park. 8568 N. Continental Reserve Loop 382-1900. A non-competitive 5k run, jog and walk get under way at 8 a.m., Tuesday, Jan. 1; $15, $10 advance. Visit marana.com, or call 382-1950 to register and for more information.

OUTDOORS

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TuCsONWEEKLY

OUTDOORS

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UPCOMING AUDUBON KEYSTONE PEAK TRAIL BIRD WALK Darlene Smyth leads an exploration of mixed habitat in a seldom-birded area, at 8 a.m., Saturday, Jan. 5; free. Expect steep climbs and no rest facilities. Reservations are required. Call 629-0510, ext. 7011, for reservations. AUDUBON PENA BLANCA LAKE BIRD WALK Join Sally Johnsen for a walk around Pena Blanca Lake to see a wide selection of migrating birds, at 7 a.m., Tuesday, Jan. 8; free. Meet at Interstate 19 Exit No. 63, West. Call 399-4050 for information after Tuesday, Jan. 1.

ANNOUNCEMENTS ART IN THE PARK Tohono Chul Park. 7366 N. Paseo del Norte. 7426455. A guided tour of the 1937 adobe home on the grounds examines the changing art and cultural exhibits that feature work by local and Southwest artists. The tour takes place at 11 a.m., every Tuesday and Thursday. A one-hour walking tour of the nature trails takes place at 9 a.m. and 1 p.m., Monday through Saturday. The walks are free with admission: $8, $6 senior, $5 active military, $4 student with valid ID, $2 age 5 through 12, free member or child younger than 5, includes admission to the park. Visit tohonochulpark.org for more information. BEGINNER BIRD WALK Mason Audubon Center. 8751 N. Thornydale Road. 744-0004. The Tucson Audubon Society hosts an introduction to birdwatching for all ages with a casual, guided stroll through the saguaro-ironwood desert at 8 a.m., every Saturday; free. Call 629-0510, ext. 7011, for more information. BIRD WALKS Catalina State Park. Oracle Road, 5 miles north of Ina Road. 628-5798. A 2.5-hour guided walk along mostly flat terrain begins at the picnic-area parking-lot ramada at 8:30 a.m., every Friday and Sunday, weather permitting; $7 park entrance fee. Birders of any age or skill level are welcome. Dogs are not allowed.

MASON CENTER MORNING BIRD WALKS Tucson Audubon Society Mason Center. 8751 N. Thornydale Road. 572-9881. Learn the basics of birdwatching and how to identify the backyard birds commonly seen in the Tucson area, at 8 a.m., every Saturday, through May 25, 2013. A brief presentation is followed by an easy walk on a half-mile trail. Advance registration is required; email volunteer@ tucsonaudubon.org for reservations. MOUNT LEMMON SKYCENTER SKYNIGHTS PROGRAM Mount Lemmon SkyCenter. 9800 Ski Run Road. 6268122. A peek through the largest public viewing telescope in the Southwest is just part of a five-hour tour of the universe, from 5 to 10 p.m., nightly; $48 Monday through Thursday, $60 Friday through Sunday, $30 student. Reservations are required. Visit skycenter.arizona. edu for reservations. Search Facebook for â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mt. Lemmon SkyCenterâ&#x20AC;? for daily photo updates about current events.

SPIRITUALITY EVENTS THIS WEEK BRUNO GROENING CIRCLE OF FRIENDS University of Arizona Medical Center. 1501 N. Campbell Ave. 694-0111. The community meets to discuss teachings of Bruno Groening from 3 to 4:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 29, in Room E of the cafeteria; freewill donation. Call 904-4801, or visit www.bruno-groening.org/english. PSYCHIC FAIR Church of Mankind. 1231 S. Van Buren Ave. 7907374. Readings via crystal ball, Tarot, sea shells, abstract art, psychometry, spiritual practice and tea take place from 2 to 5 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 29; $20 per 15-minute reading; free admission. Call 461-2910.

LGBTQ BUDDHIST MEDITATION AND PRACTICE Three Jewels. 314 E. Sixth St. 303-6648. Two 20-minute silent-sitting meditations, readings from Buddhist spiritual texts and discussion take place from 10 to 11:45 a.m., every Sunday; free-will donation. Bring a pillow or cushion. Call 884-4691 or 306-4691 for more information. WAKE UP TUCSON Hi Corbett Field. 3400 E. Camino Campestre. 3279467. Ajahn Sarayut of Wat Buddhametta leads a walk around Randolph Park to promote physical and mental-health awareness, from 6:30 to 8:30 a.m., every Tuesday and Saturday; free. Visit tucsonbuddhistcenter. org for more information.

SPORTS

RAMSEY CANYON PRESERVE WALKS Ramsey Canyon Preserve. 27 Ramsey Canyon Road. Miracle Valley. (520) 378-2785. Nature Conservancy docents give guided walks through the habitats of more than 170 bird species and a wide range of wildlife at 9 a.m., every Monday, Thursday and Saturday; $5, $3 member or Cochise County resident, free younger than 16, admission is good for a week. Pets are not allowed.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

EVENTS THIS WEEK

BHAGAVAD GITA STUDY Govindaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Natural Foods Buffet and Boutique. 711 E. Blacklidge Drive. 792-0630. Shared reading and indepth study of the ancient Indian text takes place from 6:30 to 8 p.m., every Wednesday; free. A free light meal follows. Visit govindasoftucson.com for more info.

SABINO CANYON WALKS Sabino Canyon. 5700 N. Sabino Canyon Road. 7498700. Volunteer naturalists guide adults on a leisurely paced walk to identify plants and birds, from 8:30 to 11:30 a.m., every Tuesday, through Tuesday, April 23. Volunteer naturalist Bruce Kilpatrick helps visitors pan for garnets by Sabino Creek, from 10:30 a.m. to 3:15 p.m., every Wednesday, through Wednesday, April 30. Activities are free with $5 daily or $20 annual admission to the park. Call or visit scvntucson.org.

EVOLVE TUCSON St. Francis in the Foothills Church. 4625 E. River Road. 299-9063. A discussion about how to create a healthy, sustainable, peaceful and prosperous community in Tucson takes place from 1:30 to 3:30 p.m., every Sunday; freewill donation.

RESOLUTION DAY 5K AND WELLNESS ACTIVITIES Cross Middle School. 1000 W. Chapala Drive 6965920. A wellness event includes a family fun run at 10:30 a.m., and a competitive 5k race at 11 a.m., Tuesday, Jan. 1; $5 fun run, $25 5k, $22 5k for members of Southern Arizona Roadrunners or Anytime Fitness. A zumbathon, a yoga session, a pushup and planking contest are offered, and an expo features information about nutrition and childhood obesity, bloodpressure checks, body-fat tests and information about how to stop smoking, from 9:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. Visit active.com to register and for more information.

TOHONO CHUL GUIDED BIRD AND NATURE WALKS Tohono Chul Park. 7366 N. Paseo del Norte. 7426455. Birders at any level of expertise tour the nature trails and gardens of 49-acre Tohono Chul Park and learn to identify some of the 27 resident bird species at 8:30 a.m., every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. A tour of the nature trails takes place at 9 a.m. and 1 p.m., Monday through Saturday; $8, $6 senior, $5 active military, $4 student with valid ID, $2 ages 5 through 12, free member or child younger than 5, includes admission to the park. Visit tohonochulpark.org.

IONS ENERGY CIRCLE Unity of Tucson. 3617 N. Camino Blanco. 577-3300. Twenty-minute energy-work sessions, group healing, guided meditation with a crystal singing bowl, earthhealing, networking and distance-healing to the prayer box take place from 7 to 9 p.m., the fourth Friday of every month; $5 suggested donation. Call 742-1019.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP CONTEST Desert Diamond Entertainment Center. 1100 W. Pima Mine Road. 294-7777. An Ultimate Fighting Championship pay-per-view fight features Dos Santos against Velasquez live from Las Vegas at 8 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 29; free.

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DANCE City Week Guidelines. Send information for City Week to Listings Editor, Tucson Weekly, P.O. Box 27087, Tucson, AZ 85726, e-mail our account at listings@tucsonweekly.com or submit a listing online at tucsonweekly.com. The deadline is Monday at noon, 11 days before the Thursday publication date. Please include a short description of your event; the date, time and address where it is taking place; information about fees; and a phone number where we can reach you for more information. Because of space limitations, we can’t use all items. Event information is accurate as of press time. The Weekly recommends calling event organizers to check for last-minute changes in location, time, price, etc.

EVENTS THIS WEEK HUITZILOPOCHTLI La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar. 201 N. Court Ave. 622-0351. A touring family performs traditional Aztec dances shared through generations, from 1 to 3 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 29; and from noon to 2 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 30; free.

ANNOUNCEMENTS FREE TANGO LESSONS AND DANCE Casa Vicente Restaurante Español. 375 S. Stone Ave. 884-5253. A free class for beginners (no partner necessary) takes place from 7 to 8 p.m., each Wednesday; and tango-dancing continues from 8 to 10 p.m.; free. Call 245-6158 for information. FREE ZUMBA CLASS Bookmans. 3733 W. Ina Road. 579-0303. Instructor Leslie Lundquist leads a workout for all skill levels, from 9:30 to 10:30 a.m., every Thursday; free. LET’S DANCE CLUB Tucson Women’s Club. 6245 E. Bellevue Road. 2963142. A group meets for ballroom dancing at 7 p.m., every Wednesday; $10, $8 members. No partner necessary. Call 623-2384 for more information.

MUSIC EVENTS THIS WEEK 17TH STREET MUSIC 17th Street Music. 810 E. 17th St. 624-8821, ext. 7147. Acoustic blues duo Grams and Krieger celebrate the release of their new CD, 5, from noon to 2 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 29. Call 624-8821, ext. 7147, for more information. CLASSIC ROCK WEEKEND Casino del Sol Event Center. 5655 W. Valencia Road. (800) 344-9435. Classic-rock all-star band World Classic Rockers, with former members of Journey, Boston, Santana, Steppenwolf and Lynyrd Skynyrd, performs at 9 p.m., Friday, Dec. 28; $25 and $75. The Prince tribute show Purple Reign is staged at 9 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 29; free. Visit casinodelsol.com for tickets and more information. CONCERT FOR THE COMMUNITY FOOD BANK Club Congress. 311 E. Congress St. 622-8848. TAMMIES award winners the Bryan Dean Trio, Michael P, Chuck Wagon and the Wheelchairs, Leanne Savage and Top Dead Center are featured in a benefit for the Community Food Bank from 5 to 10 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 30; $5. Visit communityfoodbank.com for more information. KINGFISHER STRING QUARTET Dove of Peace Lutheran Church. 665 W. Roller Coaster Road. 887-5127. The quartet performs Music of Mozart, featuring TSO principal Emma Votapek and special guests, at 2 p.m., Tuesday, Jan. 1; freewill donation. Call or visit doveofpeacetucson.org for more information. TUCSON REPERTORY ORCHESTRA Grace St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. 2331 E. Adams St. 327-6857. The orchestra, featuring conductor Toru Tagawa and cellist Theodore Bucholz, presents Music of the Masters, including works by Beethoven, Saint-Saens and Strauss, at 2 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 29; free.

OUT OF TOWN COMMUNITY PERFORMING ARTS CENTER Community Performing Arts Center. 1250 W. Continental Road. Green Valley. 399-1750. The Dixie Cats play Dixieland music in a New Orleans style at 7 p.m., Wednesday, Jan. 2; $18, $15 advance. Visit performingartscenter.org for tickets and more information. JESSE PETERS TRIO Green Valley Recreation West Center. 1111 Via Arco Iris. Green Valley. 625-0288. Jesse Peters performs jazz-edged soul, including many original songs, at a New Year’s celebration from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m., Tuesday, Dec. 31; $29. Hors d’oeuvres, wine and set-ups precede the concert. Call 625-3440 for reservations and more information. SCHOOLHOUSE CONCERT Tubac Presidio State Historic Park. 1 Burruel St. Tubac. 398-2252. Artist-in-residence Ted Ramirez presents a concert of Irish music featuring Jamie O’Brien and Henry Koretzky at 2 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 29; $18, free child age 14 or younger. Reservations are advised. Call or visit tubacpresidiopark.com for more information. TWO GREEN TOMATOZ Silver King Hotel. 43 Brewery Ave. Bisbee. 432-3723. Jazz singer and guitarist Nancy Weaver and singer-percussionist Judy Perry perform jazz standards and humorous songs about Bisbee from 8 to 11 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31; free.

Sunday, Jan. 6; $17.95, $7.95 child age 12 and younger, $15.95 student, military and senior. Dates and times vary. Visit thegaslighttheatre.com for showtimes, reservations or more information.

LAST CHANCE COMEDY PLAYHOUSE Comedy Playhouse. 3620 N. First Ave. 260-6442. Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol closes Sunday, Dec. 30. Showtimes are 7:30 p.m., Friday and Saturday; and 3 p.m., Sunday; $18, discounts available. Call or visit thecomedyplayhouse.com for tickets or more info. LIVE THEATRE WORKSHOP Live Theatre Workshop. 5317 E. Speedway Blvd. 3274242. It’s a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play closes Saturday, Dec. 29. Showtimes are 7:30 p.m., Thursday through Saturday; and 3 p.m., Sunday; $18, $16 senior, military or student. Call or visit livetheatreworkshop.org for tickets and more info. PINNACLE PEAK PISTOLEROS Trail Dust Town. 6541 E. Tanque Verde Road. 2964551. A holiday-themed Wild West stunt show, Santa’s Little Outlaws, closes Monday, Dec. 31. Showtimes are 7 and 8 p.m., Monday through Friday; and 6, 7 and 8 p.m., Saturday and Sunday; $4, $2 child younger than 12. Visit wildweststuntshow.com, or call 398-5618 for more information.

UPCOMING UPCOMING CHAMBER MUSIC PLUS Grace St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. 2331 E. Adams St. 327-6857. Cage @ the Cabaret, a multimedia production celebrating the hundredth anniversary of avant garde composer John Cage, is presented at 7:30 p.m., Friday and Saturday, Jan. 4 and 5; and 5 p.m., Sunday, Jan. 6; $40. Call 400-5439 for reservations and more information. COMMUNITY PERFORMING ARTS CENTER Community Performing Arts Center. 1250 W. Continental Road. Green Valley. 399-1750. Friday, Jan. 4, at 7 p.m.: Dale Young and Kip Calahan present You’re Looking as Country, the stories and songs of country-music greats; $18, $15 advance. Monday, Jan. 7, at 7 p.m.: Arthur and the Blues Redeemers, featuring Boogie Woogie pianist Arthur Migliazza, Tom Walbank, Larry Lee Lerma and Doug Davis; $25, $20 advance. Wednesday, Jan. 9, at 7 p.m., Big Band Sounds performs a variety of standards; $18, $15 advance. Visit performingartscenter.org for tickets and more info. DESERTVIEW PERFORMING ARTS CENTER DesertView Performing Arts Center. 39900 S. Clubhouse Drive. SaddleBrooke. 825-5318. Saturday, Jan. 5, at 4 and 7:30 p.m.: Arizona Wildcat Jass Band. Wednesday, Jan. 9, at 7:30 p.m.: Dream Lover, a salute to Bobby Darin. Tickets are $24, $22 advance. Visit tickets. saddlebrooketwo.com for tickets and more information. TSO JUST FOR KIDS Oro Valley Town Hall Council Chambers. 11000 N. La Cañada Drive. The TSO Brass Quintet presents Musical World Tour!, at 10 a.m., Saturday, Jan. 5; free. Children are encouraged to dress as a favorite animal or to bring a stuffed-animal toy. Visit tucsonsymphony.org.

ANNOUNCEMENTS CALL FOR MALE SINGERS Tucson Boys Chorus Center. 5770 E. Pima St. The Sons of Orpheus men’s choir welcomes prospective members to rehearsals from 7 to 9 p.m., every Wednesday; free. The choir sings a broad range of classical and popular works for men’s voices. Call 621-1649, or email contact1@sonsoforpheus.org for more information.

THEATER OPENING THIS WEEK RETRO GAME SHOW NIGHT Hotel Congress. 311 E. Congress St. 622-8848. Tempest DuJour hosts a round of The $9.95 Pyramid at Retro Game Show Night, an event that engages audience members in satirizing legendary TV game shows, at 7 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 29; $5, ages 21 and older. Visit hotelcongress.com/club for more information.

CONTINUING THE GASLIGHT THEATRE The Gaslight Theatre. 7010 E. Broadway Blvd. 8869428. Scrooge: A Gaslight Musical continues through

BEOWULF ALLEY THEATRE COMPANY Beowulf Alley Theatre Company. 11 S. Sixth Ave. 8820555. Three Hotels by Jon Robin Baitz previews at 7:30 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 3, and continues through Sunday, Jan. 20. Showtimes are 7:30 p.m., Friday and Saturday; and 2:30 p.m., Sunday; $8 to $20. Call or visit beowulfalley.org for tickets and more information. LIVE THEATRE WORKSHOP Live Theatre Workshop. 5317 E. Speedway Blvd. 3274242. The Chosen opens with a 7:30 p.m. preview Thursday, Jan. 3, and continues through Saturday, Feb. 9. Showtimes are 7:30 p.m., Friday and Saturday; and 3 p.m., Sunday; $18, $16 senior, military or student. Call or visit livetheatreworkshop.org for tickets and more information.

ARTHRITIS ASSOCIATES Arthritis Associates. 2101 N. Country Club Road, No. 3. 792-1265. An exhibit of oil paintings of horses and donkeys at work in the 19th century continues through Thursday, Feb. 7. Hours are 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Wednesday and Friday; and 8 a.m. to noon, Thursday; free. ARTSEYE GALLERY ArtsEye Gallery. 3550 E. Grant Road. 325-0260. Landings, an exhibit of work by Stephen Strom and Stu Jenks, continues through Thursday, Feb. 14. Hours are 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., Monday through Friday; and 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Saturday; free. Visit artseye.com for more information. ATLAS FINE ART SERVICES Atlas Fine Art Services. 41 S. Sixth Ave. 622-2139. A group exhibition of works created on a small scale, smallWORKS, continues through Saturday, Jan. 19. Hours are 11 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., Wednesday and Thursday; 11 a.m. to 7 p.m., Friday and Saturday; and by appointment Monday and Tuesday; free. CONRAD WILDE GALLERY Conrad Wilde Gallery. 439 N. Sixth Ave., Suite 195. 622-8997. Running Amok, an exhibit featuring the work of five women artists pushing the boundaries of process and materials in a range of media, continues through Saturday, Jan. 26; free. An artists’ reception takes place from from 6 to 9 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 5. Hours are 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday; free. DESERT ARTISANS’ GALLERY Desert Artisans’ Gallery. 6536 E. Tanque Verde Road. 722-4412. The Twenty-Fifth Anniversary Art Gala continues through Sunday, Feb. 3. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Saturday; and 10 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., Sunday. Visit desertartisansgallery.com for more information. DRAGONFLY GALLERY Amity Foundation’s Dragonfly Gallery. 146 E. Broadway Blvd. 628-3164. The Divine Feminine: A Three-Woman Exhibition continues through Thursday, Jan. 10. Hours are from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Monday through Friday; and 5 to 10 p.m., Saturday; free.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

ETHERTON GALLERY Etherton Gallery. 135 S. Sixth Ave. 624-7370. An exhibit of photographs by John Loengard, Ralph Gibson and Harry Callahan continues through Saturday, Jan. 5. Hours are 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday; and by appointment; free. Visit ethertongallery.com.

MAGICAL MYSTERY DINNER THEATER Magical Mystery Dinner Theater. 2744 E. Broadway Blvd. 624-0172. Murder at the Vampire’s Wedding, a 2 1/2-hour, interactive comedy whodunit that includes a three-course dinner, takes place most Fridays and Saturdays; $29 to $42, includes dinner. Doors open at 7 p.m. Call for reservations or more information.

JOSEPH GROSS GALLERY Joseph Gross Gallery. 1031 N. Olive Road, No. 108. 626-4215. Cheryl Molnar’s Subdivision #3, an installation exploring the paradox of suburban living, continues through Wednesday, Jan. 9. Hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday; free. Visit cfa.arizona.edu/ galleries for more information.

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KRIKAWA JEWELRY DESIGNS Krikawa Jewelry Designs. 4280 N. Campbell Ave., No. 107. 322-6090. A juried exhibition of one-of-a-kind jewelry by Tucson jewelry artists continues through Thursday, Jan. 31. Hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday; and 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Saturday; free.

OPENING THIS WEEK JOEL D. VALDEZ MAIN LIBRARY Joel D. Valdez Main Library. 101 N. Stone Ave. 5945500. Exhibits of paintings by Whitney Morton, works by the Old Pueblo Knitters Guild and youth artwork from a class at the Drawing Studio open Wednesday, Jan. 2, and continue through Thursday, Jan. 31. An artist’s reception for Morton takes place from 6:30 to 8 p.m., Wednesday, Jan. 2. Models That Tell a Story: The Art of Dioramas and Vignettes, an exhibit of various types of models, runs through Thursday, May 31, 2013. Library hours are 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Wednesday; 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., Thursday; 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Friday; 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Saturday; and 1 to 5 p.m., Sunday; free. Call 791-4010, or email askalibrarian@pima.gov for more information. METAL ARTS VILLAGE Metal Arts Village. 3230 N. Dodge Blvd. 326-5657. Artists’ studios featuring hand-crafted furniture, sculpture, home decor, landscape design, metal, glass, wood and other art are open from 6 to 9 p.m., on the evening of the full moon, Friday, Dec. 28; free. The event also features a cookout, live music and wine-tasting.

CONTINUING ART INSTITUTE OF TUCSON Art Institute of Tucson. 5099 E. Grant Road. 3182700. Mostly Magic, an exhibit of paintings by Al Tucci, former director of the UA School of Theatre Arts, continues through Friday, Jan. 11. Hours are from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Thursday; 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., Friday; and 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., Saturday; free.

LIONEL ROMBACH GALLERY Lionel Rombach Gallery. 1031 N. Olive Road. 6264215. Advance, a showcase of work from the Fall 2012 advanced photography class taught by Joe Labate, continues through Wednesday, Jan. 16. Hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday; free. MARK SUBLETTE MEDICINE MAN GALLERY Mark Sublette Medicine Man Gallery. 6872 E. Sunrise Drive. 722-7798. An exhibit of Navajo blankets continues through Friday, Jan. 4. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Saturday; and 1 to 4 p.m., Sunday; free. Visit medicinemangallery.com for more information. MONTEREY COURT STUDIO GALLERIES AND CAFÉ Monterey Court Studio Galleries and Café. 505 W. Miracle Mile. 207-2429. Watercolor Images of an Impermanent World, an exhibit of work by Julia Graf, continues through Monday, Jan. 14; free. Visit montereycourtaz.com for more information. MURPHEY GALLERY Murphey Gallery. St. Philip’s in the Hills Episcopal Church. 4440 N. Campbell Ave. 299-6421. The Tucson Pastel Society Holiday Charity Show continues through Thursday, Jan. 10. Sales proceeds benefit the Ronald McDonald House of Southern Arizona. Hours are 2 to 4 p.m., Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. OBSIDIAN GALLERY Obsidian Gallery. 410 N. Toole Ave., No. 120. 5773598. Home for the Holidays, an exhibit of works by Rowena Brown, Lynn Cornelius and Robert Winokur, continues through Saturday, Jan. 5. Hours are 11 a.m

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Sunday, Jan. 6. Hours are 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., Wednesday through Friday; and 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m., Sunday; free.

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to 6 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday; free. Call or visit obsidian-gallery.com for more information. PHILABAUM GLASS GALLERY AND STUDIO Philabaum Glass Gallery and Studio. 711 S. Sixth Ave. 884-7404. The Ins and Outs, featuring work by Wes Hunting and Bob and Laurie Kliss, continues through Saturday, Jan. 26. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday; free. Call or visit philabaumglass.com for more information. PORTER HALL GALLERY Porter Hall Gallery. Tucson Botanical Gardens, 2150 N. Alvernon Way. 326-9686, ext. 10. Sonoran Inspired!, an exhibit of fiber art by Nancy Polster, continues through Monday, Jan. 14. Hours are 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., daily; $13, $4 age 4 through 12, free younger child, $12 student, senior and military personnel, includes admission to the park. Visit tucsonbotanical.org for more information. RITA WATTERS ART GALLERY AND CRAFTERS GIFT SHOP Rita Watters Art Gallery and Crafters Gift Shop. 6541 E. Tanque Verde Road, No. 27. 777-7034. A collection of works suitable for gift-giving continues through Thursday, Jan. 3. Hours are 1 to 9 p.m., Tuesday through Sunday; free.

ZOË BOUTIQUE Zoë Boutique. 735 N. Fourth Ave. 740-1201. Art and ornaments by a dozen Tucson artists are featured for sale through Thursday, Jan. 31. Hours are 11 a.m. to 7 p.m., Monday through Saturday; free admission.

LAST CHANCE AGUA CALIENTE PARK RANCH HOUSE GALLERY Agua Caliente Park Ranch House Gallery. 12325 E. Roger Road. 749-3718. Saguaros on Fire, featuring photography by Greg McCown, closes Wednesday, Jan. 2. Hours are 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., Wednesday through Sunday; free. BLACK CROWN COFFEE CO. Black Crown Coffee. 4024 E. Speedway, Blvd. 2076473. An exhibit of brightly colored canvases by local artists closes Monday, Dec. 31. Hours are 8 a.m. to noon, daily. BRIDGE GALLERY Bridge Gallery. 5425 N. Kolb Road, No. 113. 5774537. A group show, Christmas in the Desert, closes Monday, Dec. 31. Hours are 11 a.m. to 7 p.m., Monday through Saturday; and noon to 5 p.m., Sunday. Visit bridgegallery.net for more information.

SHERATON HOTEL AND SUITES Sheraton Hotel and Suites. 5151 E. Grant Road. 3236262. Fall/Winter Fine Art Exhibit, featuring works by members of the Southern Arizona Arts Guild, continues through Sunday, April 7, 2013. The exhibit is open 24 hours, daily, on the first and second floors; free.

CONTRERAS GALLERY Contreras Gallery. 110 E. Sixth St. 398-6557. Reflections of the Sonoran Desert, an exhibit of works by six artists inspired by the Sonoran Desert and its history, continues until Saturday, Dec. 29. Hours are 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday; free.

TEMPLE GALLERY Temple Gallery. Temple of Music and Art. 330 S. Scott Ave. 624-7370. An exhibit of illustrations by Valerie Galloway continues through Wednesday, Jan. 9. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday; free. Call 622-2823, or e-mail info@ethertongallery.com for more information.

DAVIS DOMINGUEZ GALLERY Davis Dominguez Gallery. 154 E. Sixth St. 629-9759. An exhibit of Josh Goldberg’s abstract paintings and works on paper, and Sabino Canyon, a joint exhibit of paintings by James Cook and bronzes by Mark Rossi, continue through Saturday, Dec. 29. Hours are 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Friday; and 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Saturday; free. Call or visit davisdominguez.com for more information.

TOHONO CHUL PARK Tohono Chul Park. 7366 N. Paseo del Norte. 7426455. Adam Block of the UA’s Mt. Lemmon SkyCenter, presents interstellar images and demonstrates his astrophotography process in conjunction with the exhibit Art of the Cosmos, at 7 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 17; $8, $4 for members. Horse Country: Horses in the Southwest, depicting the role of horses in Southwestern history, and an exhibit of work by Tucsonan Wil Taylor run through Sunday, Jan. 20. The Mayan Calendar runs through Saturday, Feb. 9. The Art of the Cosmos, an exhibit of astrophotography and other artworks inspired by the stars, runs through Sunday, March 24. Gallery hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., daily; $8, $6 senior, $5 active military, $4 student with valid ID, $2 ages 5 through 12, free member or child younger than 5, includes admission to the park. Visit tohonochulpark.org for more information. TUCSON INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT Tucson International Airport. 7250 S. Tucson Blvd. 573-8100. An exhibit of works by Cima Bozorgmehr, Betina Fink, Katya Micklewight, Barbara Strelke and Dee Transu continues through Saturday, Feb. 2, in the Lower Link Gallery; free. The gallery is open 24 hours every day. TUCSON PIMA ARTS COUNCIL Pioneer Building. 100 N. Stone Ave. 207-5182. Navigations, an exhibition of work that engages the eye in visual exploration, continues through Thursday, Jan. 10. Hours are 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Monday through Friday; free. Call 624-0595, ext. 10, for more info. UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CHURCH Unitarian Universalist Church. 4831 E. 22nd St. 7481551. Paintings of Frances Dorr continues through

THE IMAGE COLLECTOR GALLERY The Image Collector Gallery. 417 N. Fourth Ave. 9770267. A Glimpse of Cuba, a collection of images taken by David Scott Moyer in four Cuban cities last April, continues from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., daily, through Monday, Dec. 31; free. Search for “A Glimpse of Cuba” on Facebook for more information. JOEL D. VALDEZ MAIN LIBRARY Joel D. Valdez Main Library. 101 N. Stone Ave. 5945500. Exhibits of paintings by Serena Tang and photography by Chris Brozek run through Monday, Dec. 31. A display featuring a snowy miniature village complete with a moving train closes Sunday, Dec. 30. Library hours are 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Wednesday; 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., Thursday; 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Friday; 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Saturday; and 1 to 5 p.m., Sunday; free. Call 791-4010, or email askalibrarian@pima.gov for more information. KIRK-BEAR CANYON BRANCH LIBRARY Kirk-Bear Canyon Branch Library. 8959 E. Tanque Verde Road. 594-5275. All Over Everywhere: The Art of Joan LaRue and Jane Barton closes Saturday, Dec. 29. Hours are 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Thursday; 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Friday; 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Saturday; and 1 to 5 p.m., Sunday; free. MADARAS GALLERY Madaras Gallery. 3001 E. Skyline Road, Suite 101. 615-3001. Desert Holiday, an exhibit of snow scenes and other Southwest holiday paintings by Diana Madaras, closes Monday, Dec. 31.

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RAICES TALLER 222 ART GALLERY AND WORKSHOP Raices Taller 222 Art Gallery and Workshop. 218 E. Sixth St. 881-5335. Tesoros Pequeños (Little Treasures), an exhibit of affordable small works, continues from 1 to 5 p.m., Friday and Saturday, through Saturday, Dec. 29; free. WEE GALLERY Wee Gallery. 439 N. Sixth Ave., No. 171. 360-6024. Marcy Miranda Janes: New Works in Cut Paper closes Saturday, Dec. 29. Hours are 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., Thursday through Saturday; free.

OUT OF TOWN VENTANA MEDICAL SYSTEMS GALLERY Ventana Medical Systems Gallery. 1910 E. Innovation Park Drive, Building No. 2. Oro Valley. 887-2155. An exhibit of two-dimensional work in a range of media, representing artists who are, or are inspired by, cancer survivors, closes Friday, Jan. 4. Hours are by appointment with 48 hours notice. WESTERN NATIONAL PARKS ASSOCIATION KIVA GALLERY Western National Parks Association Kiva Gallery. 12880 N. Vistoso Village Drive. Oro Valley. 622-6014. Scenes From the West, an exhibit of paintings by Dick Myers, runs through Saturday, Dec. 29. Hours are 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Saturday; free. The gallery is closed for lectures from noon to 1 p.m., and from 2 to 3 p.m., Wednesday and Saturday. Visit wnpa.org.

UPCOMING DAVIS DOMINGUEZ GALLERY Davis Dominguez Gallery. 154 E. Sixth St. 629-9759. An exhibit of abstract paintings by David Pennington and Amy Metier, and abstract metal sculpture by Steve Murphy, opens Thursday, Jan. 3, and continues through Saturday, Feb. 9. Hours are 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Friday; and 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Saturday; free. Call or visit davisdominguez.com for more information.

ANNOUNCEMENTS CALL FOR ARTISTS Tucson Arts Brigade seeks artists to create work on 22-by-30-inch high-quality paper that will be provided. The finished works will be included in a traveling artshow fundraiser, and auctioned sometime in 2013. Artists receive promotion, plus 30 percent of the auction amount for their work. The deadline for submissions is Feb. 1, 2013. Phone 520-623-2119, email curator@ tucsonartsbrigade.org, or visit tucsonartsbrigade.com for more guidelines and information. CALL FOR ARTISTS WomanKraft. 388 S. Stone Ave. 629-9976. Submissions are sought for several upcoming exhibits. Deadlines are Saturday, Jan. 26, 2013, for Scenes From the Trails We Travel, Saturday, Feb. 2, through Saturday, March 30, 2013; Saturday, March 23, 2013, for Drawing Down the Muse, works by women, Saturday, April 6, through Saturday, May 25, 2013; and Saturday, June 22, 2013, for It’s All About the Buildings, Saturday, July 6, through Saturday, Aug. 24, 2013. Call for more information. CALL FOR ARTISTS Agua Caliente Park Ranch House Gallery. 12325 E. Roger Road. 749-3718. Artists are sought to show their work for one of a series of four-week exhibitions planned for the calendar year 2014. Work must reflect nature, wildlife, landscapes, Southwestern themes or local cultures that are in keeping with the park’s setting. Thursday, Jan. 10, is the application deadline. Email aguacalientepark@pima.gov, or call 749-3718 for details. CALL FOR ARTISTS Contents Interiors. 3401 E. Fort Lowell Road. 8816900. Artisans who live and work in Tucson are asked to submit works for a juried art show of two- and threedimensional pieces, furniture and functional crafts. The deadline for submissions is 6 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. Call or e-mail tamara@contentsinteriors.com for complete entry information. CALL FOR ARTISTS Raices Taller 222 Art Gallery and Workshop. 218 E. Sixth St. 881-5335. Artists are sought to be included in the juried exhibit ¡No Pasó!, celebrating that the world didn’t end in 2013. Email .jpg images of up to 3 pieces to raicestaller222@aol.com; include the title, dimensions and price of each piece. Artists may also bring work to the gallery from noon to 5, Saturday, Jan 5. The exhibit takes place from Saturday, Jan. 5 through Saturday, Feb. 23; free. CALL FOR CLOTHING DESIGNERS The deadline is Monday, Feb. 11, for applications to participate in Tucson Fashion Week in October. Visit

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tucsonfashionweek.com for an application; email tucsonfashionweek@gmail.com for more information.

MUSEUMS EVENTS THIS WEEK ARIZONA HISTORY MUSEUM Arizona History Museum. 949 E. Second St. 628-5774. 100 Years: 100 Quilts continues through Saturday, Dec. 29. The quilts, created for the state’s centennial, depict Arizona landscapes, cultures, historical places and unique events. Hours are 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Monday through Saturday; $5, $4 senior or age 12 through 18, free younger child. Visit arizonahistoricalsociety.org for more information. CENTER FOR CREATIVE PHOTOGRAPHY Center for Creative Photography. 1030 N. Olive Road. 621-7968. The Jazz Loft Project: Photographs and Tapes of W. Eugene Smith, 1957 to 1965, a national touring exhibit of more than 200 vintage black and white prints and several hours of rare recordings, continues through Sunday, March 10. Hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday; and 1 to 4 p.m., Saturday and Sunday; free. Photo Friday every week gives the public opportunities to review images from the archives based on a them. The January theme is “Suburbia.” Visit centerforcreativephotography.org for more info. DEGRAZIA GALLERY IN THE SUN DeGrazia Gallery in the Sun. 6300 N. Swan Road. 299-9191. DeGrazia’s Unseen Treasures, a selection of paintings from a vault holding thousands of works by Ted DeGrazia, continues through Tuesday, Jan. 15. Portraits of DeGrazia, an exhibit of photographs and paintings of Ted DeGrazia, including works by Louise Serpa and Thomas Hart Benton, runs through Sunday, Jan. 20. Ted DeGrazia Depicts the Life of Padre Eusebio Francisco Kino: 20 Oil Paintings is on permanent display. Hours are 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., daily; free. Call or visit degrazia.org for more information. THE JEWISH HISTORY MUSEUM The Jewish History Museum. 564 S. Stone Ave. 6709073. The Ketubah Exhibit, an exhibit of wedding apparel dating back to the 1600s, opens with a fashion show of antique gowns at 2 p.m., Wednesday, Jan. 1, and continues through Thursday, Feb 28. Tickets for the opening are $20. The exhibit includes an 18th-century gold-bullion thread wedding cap, and the gown worn by Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords at her wedding to Capt. Mark Kelly. Hours are 1 to 5 p.m., Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday; and noon to 3 p.m., Friday; $5, free member. Visit jewishhistorymuseum.org for reservations and more information. MINI-TIME MACHINE MUSEUM OF MINIATURES Mini-Time Machine Museum of Miniatures. 4455 E. Camp Lowell Drive. 881-0606. Holiday decorations throughout the museum continue through Sunday, Jan. 6. Decor includes more than a dozen miniatures depicting holiday traditions, through history and around the world. Holiday musical performances and craft projects are also featured. Hours are 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday, and noon to 4 p.m., Sunday; $9, $8 senior or military, $6 age 4 to 17, free younger child. Visit theminitimemachine.org for more information. TUCSON MUSEUM OF ART Tucson Museum of Art. 140 N. Main Ave. 624-2333. The Shape of Things: Four Decades of Paintings and Sculpture continues through Sunday, Jan. 6. Barbara Rogers: The Imperative of Beauty, a 50-year Retrospective runs through Sunday, Jan. 13. Henri Matisse: The Pasiphaé Series and Other Works on Paper runs through Sunday, Jan. 20. The traditional holiday exhibit, El Nacimiento, continues through Saturday, June 1, 2013, in the Casa Cordova. Art + the Machine runs through Sunday, July 14, 2013. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Wednesday, Friday and Saturday; 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Thursday; noon to 5 p.m., Sunday; closed Monday and Tuesday; $10, $8 senior, $5 college student with ID, free age 18 or younger, active military or veteran with ID, and TMA members; free the first Sunday of every month. Visit tucsonmuseumofart.org. UA MUSEUM OF ART UA Museum of Art. 1031 N. Olive Road. 621-7567. An exhibit of drawings and prints from the UA Museum of Art’s permanent collection continues through Sunday, Jan. 6. In Relief: German Op-Art Ceramics continues through Sunday, Jan. 27. Broken Desert: Greg Lindquist and Chris McGinnis, part of the UA’s Desert Initiative: Desert 1, exploring human impact on nature, runs through Sunday, March 3. The Samuel H. Kress Collection and the altarpiece from Ciudad Rodrigo are on display until further notice. Hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday through Friday; and noon to 4 p.m., Saturday and Sunday; $5, free member, student, child, faculty and staff with ID. Visit artmuseum.arizona.edu for more information.

VISUAL ARTS The Tucson Museum of Art offers a taste of Matisse, atypical paintings

Different Dimensions BY MARGARET REGAN, mregan@tucsonweekly.com t’s not every day that Matisse comes to town. Work by the glorious French painter (1869-1954) is making a rare appearance in Tucson. Henri Matisse: The Pasiphaé Series and Other Works on Paper is at the Tucson Museum of Art, but only for a few more weeks. Don’t go expecting anything like the acclaimed show Matisse: In Search of True Painting, now at New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art. The New York Times called that “one of the most thrillingly instructive exhibitions about this painter, or painting in general, that you may ever see.” New York has 49 lush paintings, while Tucson has a small—but handsome—exhibition of several dozen Matisse prints. Most of them are linocuts from the early 1940s, printed in monochromatic red or black. The simple images, drawn from Greek mythology, were cut with swift, sure strokes of Matisse’s knife. Matisse made them when he was illustrating Pasiphaé, Chants de Minos, a limited-edition book by Henry de Montherlant. The text recounts the erotic story of Pasiphaé, daughter of the sun god and wife of Minos. Cursed by Poseidon, god of the sea, Pasiphaé is seized with an overwhelming lust for a white bull. This story naturally allowed Matisse some rich erotic imagery: a bull standing on its hind legs, its penis erect; and a nude young woman in the throes of sexual desire. Repeated again and again, these figures are deftly drawn with just a few lines. A simple circle stands for a breast. Two curves make a bull’s horn. Presaging the Matisse cutouts of the late ’40s and early ’50s, these “knife drawings” are by no means realistic. The woman’s arms are too big for the head; her thigh careens unexpectedly skyward. No matter: They’re alluring motifs from Matisse World. In their own way, they teach us about Matisse’s process, just as the fancy New York show does. I haven’t seen it, but critic Roberta Smith writes that the Met exhibition demonstrates how Matisse painted the same subject over and over and over, each time in completely different ways. His whole career, she notes, was a relentless search for a radical new art, for an exhilarating new way to see the world. Matisse did the same thing here. He drew the bull, the woman and some ornamental page designs again and again, doggedly trying out different poses, different ways to convey the same thing. And it turns out the delectable linocuts here are outtakes from the book project—Matisse made so many, and had so many

to choose from, that only a few were published in the book. These were printed and published posthumously. Museumgoers who want an exhibition—like the Met’s—that’s about the nature of painting have to go no farther than the adjacent TMA gallery. The Shape of Things is an interesting collection of paintings that don’t conform to tried-and-true ideas of what a painting should be—a flat two-dimensional image confined to a rectangular shape. Not a single one of the show’s 25 works meets that definition. Some of the artists simply defy the rectangle rule. Olivier Mosset’s creamy “Untitled (Swiss Coffee)” is a giant backward “L.” Robert Mangold’s luminous “Painting, Yellow Orange + Within +” is in the shape of a cross, assembled from four small rectangular canvases clipped together. Others take their canvases off the wall—and into space. Steven Parrino’s big “Untitled” makes delicious use of the folds and drapes of fabric. He started the painting in the usual way, stretching canvas across a wooden backing, and then painting it in creamy white oils. But then he ripped the canvas from its stretchers and crumpled and twisted it into folds and crevices. Sticking out into the gallery airspace, it occupies the netherworld between flat and full, between 2-D and 3-D, between painting and sculpture. Other artists don’t even take painting-oncanvas as a point of departure. Miles Conrad’s encaustic “Bioslice Blue,” 8 inches square, ripples with a jungle’s worth of waxy reeds sticking out into the air. It’s colored a startling blue that veers toward purple—a blue, come to think of it, that Matisse often used. Carlotta Boettcher’s “13 Moons Doubled” hangs on the wall, but its base is a real car hood, extracted from a Citroën and painted in matte black lacquer. She’s imposed a female angle on what she calls her examination of car culture. Raised spheres curving across the hood’s surface conjure up the year’s worth of moons that make up women’s cycle, and the hood’s V shape evokes primal genitalia. Margaret Evangeline’s “Los Lunas #33” started as two slabs of pristine stainless steel, one beneath the other. But using them as a metaphor for her grief after Sept. 11, she took a gun and shot 33 bullets into the mirrored surface. Some shots went through cleanly, leaving behind a tidy, tiny circle. Others blasted and shredded the metal, leaving ragged edges and large, gaping holes. You can’t look at this damage and not think of the young students and their teachers

Margaret Evangeline, “Los Lunas #33,” 2005 (cropped), stainless steel with gunshot. slaughtered in Connecticut. It’s painful to look at, painful to contemplate—exactly what the artist intended. But Matisse gives the grief-stricken a small, brief respite. Hanging near Evangeline’s collateral damage is a small print on paper from a different Matisse book, 1947’s Jazz. It’s a beautiful “Icarus” in a starburst sky colored that inimitable Matisse blue. Icarus is another figure from Greek myth, a young man who dared too much. When he flew too close to the sun, his wax wings melted, and he fell to his death in the sea. Matisse has transformed this tragic death: His Icarus is not falling, but soaring, making his way among the stars to his glory in the heavens.

The Shape of Things: Four Decades of Paintings and Sculpture Henri Matisse: The Pasiphaé Series and Other Works on Paper 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Wednesday through Saturday, with hours extended until 8 p.m., Thursday; noon to 5 p.m., Sunday

The Shape of Things closes Sunday, Jan. 13; Henri Matisse closes Sunday, Jan. 20 Tucson Museum of Art 140 N. Main Ave. $10 adults; $8 seniors; $5 college students; free to ages 18 and younger, museum members, active military, veterans and everyone on the first Sunday of the month 624-2333; www.tucsonmuseumofart.org

DECEMBER 27, 2012 – JANUARY 2, 2013

TuCsONWEEKLY

LITERATURE

BOOKS

EVENTS THIS WEEK

Poet Jefferson Carter offers a dark worldview in ‘Get Serious’

Moody Metaphors BY JARRET KEENE, mailbag@tucsonweekly.com t has been three years since Jefferson Carter published his most-recent and deeply satisfying verse collection, My Kind of Animal. The themed poems gathered in Animal speak to the idea that man, another dumb beast, redeems himself with humor. Even accepting that a divine spark animates us, Carter consistently keeps his tongue in jowl. His verse in that book remains playful and poignant. You should own a copy. The Tucson poet’s latest collection, Get Serious: New and Selected Poems, is a different beast. The 33 brand-new poems, which precede a larger group from previously published and long-out-of-print collections, are cruel by comparison. It’s as if, minus a menagerie of creatures to lighten his tone, Carter lets a bit of nihilism creep into his recent stanzas. Serious sounds at times like an aging, embittered poet’s final testament or last verses. Previously, Carter could stare into a cat’s butthole (“Please,” included in Serious) and sniff a geriatric yogi’s fart (“Helen,” also included), and weave emotional poetry out of such indignities. With the new poems, he doesn’t bother to sugar life’s lemons into something tasty and refreshing. He squeezes in the rinds and seeds—and expects us to drink. Take the book’s opening poem. It’s an ugly self-portrait called “Stone Loop,” in which the instinct of writing a poem is undermined, ridiculed. Halfway through an aborted liftoff, the single stanza drifts into comic selfabnegation. Where was I? Not in the middle of my life, not like Dante entering the profound wood. More like a sit-down comedian, a communist allergic to theory, a retired bobsledder playing ping-pong with his wife. The funny yet pity-inducing metaphors pile up to hopeless effect. It may cause readers to ask: If writing poetry in one’s later years contradicts, and is so inherently at odds with, the joy and light of existence, why should I bother reading this book? Before, Carter could smile, even bow, to absurdity’s divine traces. He now allows concrete absurdities the final say. Sure, they resonate with a measure of truth. But these farcical moments suppurate like infected wounds in a reader’s mind. An example: the entirety of “Victim Poetry,” which begins with a zinger.

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TOP TEN Antigone Books’ best-sellers for the week ending Dec. 18, 2012 1. Flight Behavior: A Novel Barbara Kingsolver, Harper ($28.99)

Get Serious: New and Selected Poems

2. A Thousand Mornings

By Jefferson Carter

3. A Very Hairy Christmas

Chax Press

Susan Lowell, Rio Nuevo ($15.95)

74 pages, $15

Cliterature just rejected my latest poems. It’s three P.M. & I go back to bed. I wake to the sound of gospel-sized hail. I go back to sleep, my new Posturepedic mattress, custom-made for a bad back & thin skin, so comfy you’ll never get up again. The idea of a verse magazine named after a word play on women’s anatomy is humorous. A rejected poet soothing his wounds with a midafternoon nap is silly. But the coup de grace—sinking into the coffin of a designedfor-old-folks bed as a storm batters the windows—is an expression of a poet’s bad faith. Get up and gaze into some kitty bung, I want to tell the poet. Also, that two of Carter’s new poems end with an image of formaldehyde tempts me to urge: Do not go quietly into that embalming preserve! The bard dwells inordinately on death’s decisiveness. When he remembers to pop his literary Viagra, Carter is compelling. The delightful “Sunlight” illuminates a scene, years ago, when a poet recites his verse while sandwiched in bed between a girlfriend and her older sister. This, and other poems, like the randy “Mall,” brighten the book’s overall tone. They’re not enough to balance what should have been a triumphant collection. It’s great to encounter rich poems I hadn’t read before, like those from 1987’s impossible-to-find None of This Will Kill Me. Ovid-referencing “A Centaur,” yoga-riffing “Johnny-Jump-Up” and the flu-borne “Strep Throat” are some of the finest verse devoted to family and how the institution is a force that changes people. Often for the better, but sometimes for the worse. Still, the desolate humor and poetry-insideron-the-outside approach of the first 45 pages are tough to overcome. Carter is a powerful, underestimated poet who deserves a Billy Collins-size audience. Too bad Carter doesn’t care to please an NPR-listening audience. He should consider sneaking Splenda into his moody lemonade.

Mary Oliver, Penguin ($24.95)

4. Queen of America: A Novel Luis Alberto Urrea, Little, Brown and Company ($14.99)

5. Running the Rift: A Novel Naomi Benaron, Algonquin ($14.95)

6. Unlikely Friendships: 47 Remarkable Stories From the Animal Kingdom Jennifer S. Holland, Workman ($13.95)

7. The Third Wheel: Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Book 7 Jeﬀ Kinney, Amulet ($13.95)

8. Food Lovers’ Guide to Tucson: The Best Restaurants, Markets and Local Culinary Oﬀerings Mary Paganelli Votto, Globe Pequot ($14.95)

9. The Night Circus Erin Morgenstern, Anchor ($15)

10. The Signal and the Noise: Why So Many Predictions Fail but Some Don’t Nate Silver, Penguin ($27.95)

SOUTHWEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR Joel D. Valdez Main Library. 101 N. Stone Ave. 5945500. A display celebrating the release of Southwest Books of the Year: Best Reading, the library’s guide to fiction and nonfiction books published in 2012 that feature a Southwestern setting or subject, continues through Monday, Dec. 31, in the art gallery. Library hours are 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Wednesday; 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., Thursday; 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Friday; 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Saturday; and 1 to 5 p.m., Sunday; free. Call 791-4010, or email askalibrarian@pima.gov for more information. UA POETRY CENTER UA Poetry Center. 1508 E. Helen St. 626-3765. Selections From the Permanent Collection: Big Books continues through Wednesday, Jan. 30. Hours are 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday and Thursday; 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., Tuesday and Wednesday; 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Friday; and 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Saturday; free. Call or visit poetrycenter.arizona.edu for more information.

ANNOUNCEMENTS CALL TO SHORT-FICTION WRITERS Entries are due Tuesday, March 11, for the Kore Press 2012 short-fiction contest. Prizes are $1,000 and publication in a chapbook; $15 entry fee. Visit korepress.org for more information, and use the Kore Press submission manager to enter. I LOVE BOOKS GROUP TMC Senior Services. 1400 N. Wilmot Road. 3241960. Books with aging as a central theme are discussed from 2 to 4 p.m., the fourth Thursday of every month; free.

LECTURES OUT OF TOWN FOCUS ON ART Joyner-Green Valley Branch Library. 601 N. La Cañada Drive. Green Valley. 594-5295. Docents from the Tucson Museum of art lecture at 2 p.m., every Wednesday, through March 27. Jan. 2: “Modigliani: Portraits of a Bohemian Life,” Penny David. Jan. 9: “Street Art: Adventures in Urban Expression,” Carlye Dundun and the TMA’s Green Valley Docents. Jan. 16: “Looking Beneath the Surface: The Underwater Sculpture of Jason deCaires Taylor,” Carol Lehrman.

UPCOMING ARNOLD ROY: FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT Arnold Roy, a student of Frank Lloyd Wright’s and a current resident of Taliesin West, presents “Frank Lloyd Wright and Organic Buildings for Arizona” at 3 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 5; $10, $5 member, free with a $25 ticket to the Tubac Home Tour, Saturday, Jan. 12. Visit tubacarts.org for more information.

Jeff Kinney

TMA BREAKFAST CLUB Tucson Museum of Art. 140 N. Main Ave. 624-2333. A series of art talks take place over brunch from 10 a.m. to noon, on selected Tuesdays; $35. Jan. 8: Christine Brindza, Glasser curator of Art of the American West, presents “Sagebrush Rembrandts: Painters of Art of the American West.” A tour of the Western-art galleries follows. WOMEN IMPACTING TUCSON Arizona Inn. 2200 E. Elm St. 325-1541. Cultural anthropologist Debora Neff discusses Betty Makoni, Zimbabwean gender-rights activist and founder of a worldwide organization to save girls from sexual abuse and economic hardships, at a luncheon from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m., Monday, Jan. 7; $25. Visit arizonainn. com/witlunch for reservations and more information.

ANNOUNCEMENTS LECTURES AT THE WESTERN NATIONAL PARKS ASSOCIATION BOOKSTORE Western National Parks Association Bookstore. 12880 N. Vistoso Village Drive. Oro Valley. 622-6014. Lectures on a wide range of historical, topographical, ecological and native-foods topics take place at noon and 2 p.m., every Wednesday and Saturday; free. Reservations are required, but must be made no earlier than one week in advance. Hours are 9:30 a.m. and 5 p.m., Monday through Friday; or from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Saturday. Visit wnpa.org for a schedule of talks or more info.

CINEMA ‘Les Misérables’ sets a new bar for movie musicals

A Heart Full of Love

TOP TEN Casa Video’s top rentals for the week ending Dec. 19, 2012

BY BOB GRIMM, bgrimm@tucsonweekly.com his review comes to you from a man who loves a good musical—and is a diehard fan of Les Misérables. Haters of movie musicals everywhere, I beseech you: Give this one a chance! Lovers of this musical … unite! The movie is a blast! Les Misérables, based on the Victor Hugo novel set in 19th-century France, has always been the epitome of a big musical done right. When I saw it on Broadway, I remember thinking something along the lines of, “There’s no way in hell anybody could ever put this on the big screen in a respectable fashion.” To mount a worthy production, one would need a big budget, and one would need big stars with box-office allure who can sing like no other. I’m happy to report that director Tom Hooper didn’t just find stars who can sing; those stars make you freaking cry when they are singing. They are that good. Hooper (The King’s Speech) gathered his glorious cast, and then he went and made things even more complicated: The actors and actresses in this muscular musical sing live on set. There are no comfy sound booths with fancy mineral water. What you see and hear in this movie is the product of live takes. It’s absolutely remarkable. The performance by Hugh Jackman, in the central role of notorious bread-stealer Jean Valjean, is more than Oscar-worthy; his work here requires an Oscar. His physical presence is appropriately commanding, and his voice is miraculous. This is a role that could turn to schmaltz in the wrong hands, but rest assured that what you’re seeing is one of musical cinema history’s greatest, most-uncompromising performances. Shockingly, his is not the best performance in the movie. That honor goes to Anne Hathaway as Fantine, the betrayed factory worker turned prostitute who’s desperately trying to care for daughter Cosette (played by the sweetly voiced Isabelle Allen as a child). Hathaway delivers “I Dreamed a Dream” in one devastatingly beautiful take that will drop many a jaw into many a lap. Some will point to Russell Crowe’s Javert as the film’s weak link, and in some ways, it is. Crowe’s voice doesn’t compare to the likes of Jackman and Hathaway, but his diminished vocals help make his Javert more pathetic. Javert, the dogged lawman who destroys his life by unrelentingly pursuing the fugitive Valjean, has long been a literary loser, and Crowe brings a marked sadness to him. The fact that his voice isn’t so grand just makes his Javert lonelier and bleaker. I was expecting something more booming, but this interpreta-

1. Ted Universal

2. The Bourne Legacy Universal

3. The Dark Knight Rises Warner Bros.

4. Men in Black 3 Sony

5. Lawless Starz/Anchor Bay

6. Beasts of the Southern Wild Fox Searchlight

7. Ice Age: Continental Drift 20th Century Fox

8. Hope Springs Sony

9. The Odd Life of Timothy Green Disney

10. Total Recall Samantha Barks in Les Misérables. tion is growing on me. Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter are appropriately disgusting as innkeepers Thénardier and Madame Thénardier. Amanda Seyfried, after the failure of Mamma Mia!, gets to put her capable voice to a better test as the grown Cosette, while Eddie Redmayne (My Week With Marilyn) gives a breakthrough performance as her suitor, Marius. The coveted role of Éponine (for which Taylor Swift was once rumored) has gone to Samantha Barks, who was featured in the acclaimed Les Misérables in Concert: The 25th Anniversary. Hooper made the right choice; her rendition of “A Little Fall of Rain” qualifies as the best I’ve heard. Hooper does more than put a bunch of great actors and voices in play. His staging of the musical is superbly accomplished. When Daniel Huttlestone emerges from a huge elephant statue and delivers “Paris/Look Down” from the back of a moving horse carriage, it’s pure movie magic. The costuming, art direction and sets are all impeccable. Those familiar with the show know that a good chunk of it takes place on a pile of furniture. Hooper does great things with the infamous last stand in the street. By the time Cosette and Valjean have their last meeting, you have seen so many moments

Sony

Les Misérables Rated PG-13 Starring Hugh Jackman, Anne Hathaway and Russell Crowe Directed by Tom Hooper Universal, 157 minutes Now playing at AMC Loews Foothills 15 (888262-4386), Century El Con 20 (800-326-3264, ext. 902), Century Park Place 20 (800-326-3264, ext. 903), Century Theatres at the Oro Valley Marketplace (800-326-3264, ext. 899), Harkins Tucson Spectrum 18 (806-4275) and Tower Theaters at Arizona Pavilions (579-0500).

of grandeur that it’s hard to keep track. The decision to have the actors sing live was a risky one, but it pays off in a big way. Am I fawning? You bet I am. It’s such a wonderful thing to see something that delivers more than what you were expecting. Nothing hurts a film critic more than a long-awaited movie that falls short. (I’m looking at you, Hobbit!) If either Hathaway or Jackman go home Oscar-less, that would be a shame. Les Misérables is so much more than a worthy adaptation of a long cherished musical. It’s a masterful game-changer when it comes to movie musicals. I could go on and on about how great it is, but words of praise can’t possibly do it justice. See it.

Kate Beckinsale in Total Recall.

DECEMBER 27, 2012 – JANUARY 2, 2013

TuCsONWEEKLY

FILM TIMES Film times reflect the most current listings available as of Friday evening, Dec. 21, with screenings beginning on Friday for most opening titles. As schedules at individual theaters frequently change postpress, we recommend calling ahead to avoid any inconvenience.

AMC Loews Foothills 15 7401 N. La Cholla Blvd. 888-262-4386. Django Unchained (R) Thu-Tue 9, 11:30, 3:15, 7:15, 10:50, 11:50; Wed 9, 11:30, 3:15, 7:15, 10:50 The Guilt Trip (PG-13) Thu-Wed 10:15, 12:40, 3, 5:30, 8, 10:25 The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (PG13) Thu-Wed 9, 10:40, 2:45, 5, 6:45, 9, 10:25 The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey—An IMAX 3D Experience (PG-13) Thu-Wed 11:50, 3:45, 7:30, 11:15 The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey 3D (PG-13) Thu-Wed 1 Jack Reacher (PG-13) Thu-Wed 10:05, 1:15, 4:15, 7:20, 10:20 Life of Pi (PG) Thu-Sun 3:20, 11:45; Mon 3:20, 11:55; Tue 3:20, 11:45; Wed 3:20 Life of Pi 3D (PG) ThuWed 12:30, 6:15 Lincoln (PG-13) Thu-Wed 9:30, 12:45, 4:15, 7:30, 10:45 Les Misérables (PG-13) Thu-Tue 9:45, 11:55, 1:25, 3:30, 4:50, 7, 8:15, 10:30, 11:40; Wed 9:45, 11:55, 1:25, 3:30, 4:50, 7, 8:15, 10:30 Monsters, Inc. 3D (G) ThuWed 9:15, 11:45, 2:15, 4:40, 7:05, 9:30 Parental Guidance (PG) Thu-Wed 10:10, 12:30, 2:50, 5:10, 7:35, 10 Rise of the Guardians (PG) Thu-Wed 9, 12:15, 2:35 Silver Linings Playbook (R) Thu-Wed 9:05, 11:15, 2:15, 5:05, 7:55, 10:45 Skyfall (PG-13) Thu-Wed 4:55, 8:05, 11:15 This Is 40 (R) Thu-Wed 9:15, 10:45, 1:45, 4:45, 7:45, 10:45 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (PG-13) Thu-Wed 9:05

Century El Con 20 3601 E. Broadway Blvd. 800-326-3264, ext. 902. Call for Fri-Wed film times 2001: A Space Odyssey (G) Wed 2, 7 Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away 3D (PG) Thu 12:10, 2:30, 5, 7:25, 9:50 Django Unchained (R) Thu 10:20, 11:30, 2, 3:15, 5:40, 7:10, 9:20, 10:45; Fri-Mon 11:30, 3:15, 7:10, 10:45 The Guilt Trip (PG-13) Thu 11:20, 1:50, 4:20, 6:45, 9:20 The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (PG13) Thu 10:30, 11:30, 38 WWW. WEEKLY.COM

TuCsON

2:15, 3:15, 6, 7, 9:45, 10:35 The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey 3D (PG-13) Thu 1:10, 4:45, 8:30 Jack Reacher (PG-13) Thu 10:30, 1:30, 4:35, 6:20, 7:40, 9:30, 10:45 Life of Pi (PG) Thu 2:05, 7:20 Life of Pi 3D (PG) Thu 10:15, 4:55, 10:15 Lincoln (PG-13) Thu 12:20, 3:40, 6:55, 10:10 Les Misérables (PG-13) Thu 10:15, 11, 12, 1:45, 3:30, 5:20, 7, 9, 10:30; Fri-Mon 12, 3:30, 7, 10:30 Monsters, Inc. (G) Thu 11:45, 5, 10:15 Monsters, Inc. 3D (G) Thu 2:20, 7:50 Parental Guidance (PG) Thu 10:40, 12, 1:15, 2:35, 3:50, 5:10, 6:25, 7:45, 9, 10:20 Rise of the Guardians (PG) Thu 10:45, 1:15, 3:45 Silver Linings Playbook (R) Thu 11, 1:50, 4:40, 7:30, 10:20 Skyfall (PG-13) Thu 1:10, 7:05, 10:20 This Is 40 (R) Thu 10:20, 11:50, 1:20, 2:55, 4:25, 6, 7:40, 9:10, 10:40 Wreck-It Ralph (PG) Thu 10:25, 4:25

Century Gateway 12 770 N. Kolb Road. 800-326-3264, ext. 962. Call for films and times

Century Park Place 20 5870 E. Broadway Blvd. 800-326-3264, ext. 903. 2001: A Space Odyssey (G) Wed 2, 7 Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away 3D (PG) Thu-Wed 10:55, 1:25, 3:55, 6:35, 9 Django Unchained (R) Thu-Wed 10, 11:55, 1:50, 3:45, 5:40, 7:35, 9:30 The Guilt Trip (PG-13) Thu-Mon 11:50, 2:25, 4:55, 7:30, 10:15; Wed 11:50, 2:25, 4:55, 7:30, 10:15 The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (PG13) Thu-Tue 10:15, 12, 1:55, 3:40, 5:35, 7:20, 9:15; Wed 10:15, 11:05, 12, 1:55, 2:45, 3:40, 5:35, 6:25, 7:20, 9:15, 10:05 The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey 3D (PG-13) Thu-Tue 11:05, 12:55, 2:45, 4:45, 6:25, 8:35, 10:05; Wed 12:55, 4:45, 8:35 Jack Reacher (PG-13) Thu-Wed 10:10, 1:20, 2:50, 4:30, 5:55, 7:40, 9:05, 10:40 Life of Pi (PG) Thu-Mon 10:05, 1:10, 4:10, 7:10, 10:10 Lincoln (PG-13) Thu-Wed 12, 3:30, 7, 10:25 Les Misérables (PG-13) Thu-Wed 10:35, 11:55, 2:15, 3:35, 5:50, 7:15, 9:25 Monsters, Inc. (G) ThuWed 10:10, 2, 7:15 Monsters, Inc. 3D (G) ThuWed 11:20, 4:35, 9:45

Parental Guidance (PG) Thu-Mon 11:10, 1:55, 4:40, 7:25, 10:10 Skyfall (PG-13) ThuMon 12:30, 3:50, 7:05, 10:20; Wed 12:30, 3:50, 7:05, 10:20 This Is 40 (R) Thu-Wed 10:30, 12:05, 1:40, 3:15, 4:50, 6:25, 8, 9:35 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (PG-13) Thu-Wed 2:20, 7:55, 10:40 Wreck-It Ralph (PG) ThuWed 11:30, 5:10

Fox Tucson Theatre 17 W. Congress St. 624-1515. Ghostbusters (PG-13) FriSat 7:30

Gallagher Theater UA Student Union, 1303 E. University Blvd. 626-0370. Call for films and times

Harkins Tucson Century Spectrum 18 Theatres at the 5455 S. Calle Santa Cruz. 806-4275. Oro Valley Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away (PG) Thu-Wed 1:15 Marketplace

THE WOMAN IN BLACK

12155 N. Oracle Road. 800-326-3264, ext. 899. Call for Fri-Wed film times 2001: A Space Odyssey (G) Wed 2, 7 Django Unchained (R) Thu 11:40, 3:20, 7, 10:35 The Guilt Trip (PG-13) Thu 11:55, 2:20, 4:50, 7:20, 9:50 The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (PG13) Thu 2:10, 4, 9 The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey 3D (PG-13) Thu 12:20, 7:45 Jack Reacher (PG-13) Thu 10:40, 1:40, 4:40, 7:40, 10:40 Life of Pi 3D (PG) Thu 11:05, 5:55 Lincoln (PG-13) Thu 12:05, 3:25, 6:55, 10:15 Les Misérables (PG-13) Thu 11:30, 1:30, 3, 5, 6:30, 8:30, 10; Fri-Mon 11:30, 3, 6:30, 10 Monsters, Inc. (G) Thu 11:15, 4:25, 9:20 Monsters, Inc. 3D (G) Thu 1:45, 6:50 Parental Guidance (PG) Thu 11:10, 1:50, 4:35, 7:15, 9:55 Silver Linings Playbook (R) Thu 10:30, 1:20, 4:15, 7:10, 10:05 This Is 40 (R) Thu 10:45, 1:55, 5:05, 8:15

Crossroads 6 Grand Cinemas 4811 E. Grant Road. 327-7067. Call for Fri-Wed film times Arbitrage (R) Thu 11:15 Cloud Atlas (R) Thu 1:25, 7:55 Frankenweenie (PG) Thu 12:30 Here Comes the Boom (PG) Thu 12, 2:10, 7, 9:20 Hotel Transylvania (PG) Thu 11, 1:05, 3:15, 5:20, 7:30 The Perks of Being a Wallflower (PG-13) Thu 2:40, 5, 7:20, 9:45 Pitch Perfect (PG-13) Thu 4:20, 9:40 A Royal Affair (R) Thu 4:50 Searching for Sugar Man (PG-13) Thu 1:35, 5:50 The Sessions (R) Thu 11:05, 1:15, 3:25, 5:30, 7:40 Seven Psychopaths (R) Thu 9:50 Taken 2 (PG-13) Thu 11:20, 3:40, 7:50, 9:55

Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away 3D (PG) Thu-Wed 10:45, 3:50, 6:40, 9:10 Django Unchained (R) Thu-Sun 10:50, 11:50, 2:40, 3:40, 6:20, 7:20, 10, 11; Mon 10:50, 11:50, 2:40, 3:40, 6:20, 7:20; Tue-Wed 10:50, 11:50, 2:40, 3:40, 6:20, 7:20, 10 The Guilt Trip (PG-13) Thu-Sun 12:10, 2:50, 5:20, 8, 10:35; Mon 12:10, 2:50, 5:20, 8; Tue-Wed 12:10, 2:50, 5:20, 8, 10:35 The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (PG-13) Thu-Sun 11:30, 12:30, 3:20, 4:20, 7:10, 8:10, 10:50; Mon-Wed 11:30, 12:30, 3:20, 4:20, 7:10, 8:10 The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey 3D (PG-13) Thu-Sun 10:30, 2:20, 6:10, 9:50; Mon 10:30, 2:20, 6:10; TueWed 10:30, 2:20, 6:10, 9:50 Jack Reacher (PG-13) Thu-Sun 10:10, 1:20, 4:30, 7:40, 10:45; Mon 10:10, 1:20, 4:30, 7:40; Tue-Wed 10:10, 1:20, 4:30, 7:40, 10:45 Life of Pi (PG) Thu 11:10, 6; Fri-Wed 11:10, 6:05 Life of Pi 3D (PG) ThuWed 2:45, 9 Lincoln (PG-13) Thu-Sun 11:20, 3, 6:30, 10:15; Mon 11:20, 3, 6:30; Tue-Wed 11:20, 3, 6:30, 10:15 Les Misérables (PG-13) Thu-Sun 12, 3:30, 7, 10:30; Mon 12, 3:30, 7; Tue-Wed 12, 3:30, 7, 10:30 Monsters, Inc. (G) ThuWed 2:10 Monsters, Inc. 3D (G) Thu-Wed 11:40, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45 Parental Guidance (PG) Thu-Wed 10:20, 1:10, 4, 6:50, 9:30 Rise of the Guardians (PG) Thu-Sun 10:35, 11:45, 1:30, 2:30, 4:15, 5:15, 7:45, 10:20; Mon 10:35, 11:45, 1:30, 2:30, 4:15, 5:15, 7:45; Tue-Wed 10:35, 11:45, 1:30, 2:30, 4:15, 5:15, 7:45, 10:20 Silver Linings Playbook (R) Thu-Sun 10:40, 1:40, 4:40, 7:50, 10:55; Mon 10:40, 1:40, 4:40, 7:50; Tue-Wed 10:40, 1:40, 4:40, 7:50, 10:55 Skyfall (PG-13) Thu-Sun 6:45, 10:10; Mon 6:45; Tue-Wed 6:45, 10:10

BARBARA

THE CENTRAL PARK FIVE This Is 40 (R) Thu-Sun 10, 1, 4:10, 7:30, 10:40; Mon 10, 1, 4:10, 7:30; Tue-Wed 10, 1, 4:10, 7:30, 10:40 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (PG-13) Thu-Wed 12:20, 3:10, 6:15, 9:20

The Loft Cinema 3233 E. Speedway Blvd. 795-7777. Call for Fri-Wed film times Call 795-0844 to check handicap accessibility. Barbara (PG-13) Thu 2:15, 7:30 Chasing Ice (PG-13) Thu 5:15

Dial M for Murder 3D (PG) Thu 5 Django (Not Rated) Thu 9:45 Holy Motors (Not Rated) Thu 9:30 A Late Quartet (R) Thu 2:30 The Master (R) Thu 12:30, 3:45, 7 Modern Times (G) Thu 7 The Nightmare Before Christmas (PG) Thu 12, 10 Oma & Bella (Not Rated) Thu 12:45

Oracle View 4690 N. Oracle Road. 292-2430. Call for Fri-Wed film times Alex Cross (PG-13) Thu

5:10, 7:30 The Bourne Legacy (PG13) Thu 4:20 Brave (PG) Thu 11:30 End of Watch (R) Thu 11:20, 2, 4:30, 7:10 Frankenweenie (PG) Thu 11, 1:05, 3:15, 5:25, 7:40, 9:50 Looper (R) Thu 7, 9:40 The Man With the Iron Fists (R) Thu 4:40 The Odd Life of Timothy Green (PG) Thu 12 ParaNorman (PG) Thu 12:20, 2:30 Pitch Perfect (PG-13) Thu 1:50, 7:20, 9:50 Seven Psychopaths (R) Thu 2:40, 9:55 Sinister (R) Thu 9:45

Taken 2 (PG-13) Thu 11:10, 1:20, 3:30, 5:40, 7:50, 10

The Screening Room 127 E. Congress St. 882-0204. Call for films and times

Tower Theatres at Arizona Pavilions 8031 N. Business Park Drive. 579-0500. Call for films and times

FILM CLIPS

CINEMA

Reviews by Colin Boyd and Bob Grimm.

Despite Tarantino’s trademark violence and snappy dialogue, ‘Django Unchained’ is not one of his best

Lackluster Spaghetti BY COLIN BOYD, cboyd@tucsonweekly.com uentin Tarantino unleashes all hell in Django Unchained, which features the gratuitous violence, uncanny dialogue and twisted sense of humor that has become his stock in trade. But it lacks the polish and craftsmanship he displayed in the Kill Bill movies and Inglourious Basterds. Part of that sloppiness could be intentional; QT is summoning not just Sergio Leone’s spaghetti Westerns, but also knockoffs and parodies of Leone’s work. Indeed, the title character is inspired by Django, the hero of several Italian Westerns, and maybe a tad by Sukiyaki Western Django, a 2007 Takashi Miike flick in which Tarantino played a small role. The story, though, is one of Tarantino’s own noodling: In 1858, a slave named Django (Jamie Foxx) is purchased by a German dentist, Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz). The dentist has found better-paying work as a bounty-hunter, and together, Django and King Schultz work their way from Texas across the South, killing outlaws and earning a ton of money. Even though Django technically becomes a freedman, Schultz convinces him to stay on as his second, promising that they will find and free Django’s wife, Broomhilda (Kerry Washington), at the end of their journey. As he usually does, Tarantino brings an outside (and outsized) perspective to the story. This particular set of circumstances is seen through his eyes more than the characters’ eyes. That’s fine; it’s hard to criticize him for being Quentin Tarantino. But hearing Jim Croce’s “I Got a Name” over a montage of Django’s training is pretty peculiar, and watching a mob of know-nothing Klansmen debating the merits of homemade white hoods is funny, but also momentum-killing. Those kinds of things divorce you from the real work Tarantino does here. And, hey, is that the entirely recognizable Jonah Hill with one of those hoods? Pretty cheesy. Perhaps nothing undercuts Tarantino’s story and his completely unique writing style quite like the N-word. The official tally by Variety is 109 utterances in Django Unchained, though it feels like twice that many. Is he saying that it’s just another word? Or that the people who say it are worthy of our scorn or laughter? Hard to tell. After all, Tarantino, by using Jim Croce songs and other relatively modern touches, shouldn’t feel impelled to drop the N-bomb 100 times in 165 minutes; there are ways around that. And those using the word can’t all be lowlifes or ignoramuses (a common Hollywood out), because Django and the good

NEWLY REVIEWED: THE CENTRAL PARK FIVE

Ken Burns co-directs this documentary about five minority youths who were wrongly convicted in the 1989 Central Park-jogger case. Burns recalls the media frenzy that occurred when the group of young men, arrested after possibly participating in a night of “wilding” (random beatings and harassment), were prosecuted for the woman’s beating. With no physical evidence, and nothing but a bunch of coerced confessions, New York City prosecutors were able to convict the youths and send them to jail for a long time. Justice wasn’t served until the real perpetrator confessed. This case reminds of the West Memphis Three, another example of coerced confessions netting jail time for innocent kids. This is a well-made film from a guy who knows how to make documentaries. Grimm

CONTINUING:

Starring Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz and Leonardo DiCaprio

It’s no crime not being familiar with the work of director Christian Petzold. So many great foreign films never gain traction in the U.S. that it’s hard to find them all. But he’s been making worthwhile films for about a decade and now he has Germany’s official Oscar entry in the Best Foreign Picture category. Petzold reteams with actress Nina Hoss for Barbara, the unlikely story of a nurse who requests to leave East Berlin to be with the man she loves and winds up a doctor in rural East Germany, under a police microscope. The film slowly gets more and more intense, as Barbara weighs helping patients in dire need against her window to freedom closing forever. Without ever deliberately announcing those stakes, Petzold patiently and almost invisibly lets a noose tighten around Barbara with each passing minute. Boyd

Directed by Quentin Tarantino

THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY

Django Unchained Rated R

Weinstein, 165 minutes Now playing at AMC Loews Foothills 15 (888262-4386), Century El Con 20 (800-326-3264, ext. 902), Century Park Place 20 (800-326-3264, ext. 903), Century Theatres at the Oro Valley Marketplace (800-326-3264, ext. 899), Harkins Tucson Spectrum 18 (806-4275) and Tower Theaters at Arizona Pavilions (579-0500).

doctor rely on it, too. Is it offensive? No. But it is a bit much, like the guy at every happy hour who still throws “That’s what she said” into every story he overhears. Django and Schultz eventually wind up in Mississippi, where plantation-owner Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio)—owner of CandieLand, obviously—and his servant, Stephen (Samuel L. Jackson), hold high-purse slave fights. They’re also holding Django’s wife. To get Broomhilda back, Django and Schultz connive their way to Candie’s dinner table as potential fight-promoters. DiCaprio gets this film’s masterful monologue, much like David Carradine’s unforgettable Superman speech in Kill Bill Vol. 2 and Waltz’ interrogation at the beginning of Basterds. Those monologues are what Tarantino does best, and nobody in the past half-century does them nearly as colorfully, as hypnotically, or as well. It doesn’t disappoint. But on the whole? Django Unchained is an 80-minute story that goes twice as long. Tarantino is used to that, but the majority of his writing here is not as crisp or as focused, so the asides make the movie feel bloated. The characterizations are very strong, although DiCaprio is floating in a sea of ambiguous villainy until his big monologue. Django Unchained is not one of Tarantino’s best, nor is it one of the best spaghetti Westerns you’ll ever see.

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Jamie Foxx in Django Unchained.

DAILY LS! SPECIAS

And so it begins again, another journey into Middle Earth by way of Peter Jackson’s vivid visual imagination. But The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey does not catch fire in the way The Lord of the Rings did. Its storytelling is uncomfortable and unremarkable, and the cinematography and production design are done in by Jackson’s experimentation with High Frame Rate 3-D, a new innovation that doubles the frames per second for a crisper image. Unfortunately, it’s terribly unnatural to look at. Having said that, The Hobbit has also been released in various other formats, so you can likely avoid removing your 3-D glasses a half-dozen times to stabilize your eyes. Like Lord of the Rings, this is a quest, with Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) joining Gandalf (Ian McKellen) and a roguish band of dwarves. They may be moving an awful lot, but this story never seems to go anywhere. Boyd SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK

As Pat, a recently institutionalized former teacher battling through his newly single life and his bipolar disorder, Bradley Cooper sends a thunderous message in Silver Linings Playbook: He’s a legitimate, big-time dramatic actor. However, as good as Cooper is, the movie (and indeed, possibly the year) belongs to Hunger Games star Jennifer Lawrence, whose portrayal of the unstable nymphomaniac who somewhat literally waltzes into Pat’s life is simply transcendent. The fact that both of them are executing at such high levels in a rather unconventional film is a testament as much to director David O. Russell as the actors. Russell (The Fighter) has been working for nearly 20 years to find his signature project, and here it is—strange, kinetic, funny, sad, totally original and surprisingly moving. Silver Linings Playbook is one of the best films of the year. Boyd THIS IS 40

Writer-director Judd Apatow spins off Knocked Up with the further family adventures of Pete (Paul Rudd) and Debbie (Leslie Mann). The two characters prove worthy of their own movie thanks to the appeal of Rudd and Mann, who make a great screen couple. Debbie is not interested in turning 40 on her 40th birthday, and Pete wants to eat cupcakes without persecution while trying to get his independent album label up and running. Apatow pits the two against each other, and great comedic arguing ensues. Rudd is always a pleasure, while Mann continues to show she’s one of Hollywood’s funniest actresses. The supporting cast includes Melissa McCarthy (who steals the movie in her few scenes, including a hilarious closing credit outtake), Jason Segel, Albert Brooks and John Lithgow. They are all in top form. Grimm

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N O W S H O W I N G AT H O M E Trouble With the Curve (Blu-ray) WARNER MOVIE D SPECIAL FEATURES C BLU-RAY GEEK FACTOR 3 (OUT OF 10)

Clint Eastwood had originally stated that 2008â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gran Torino would be his final acting gig. Then filmmakers, including friend and frequent co-worker Robert Lorenzâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;making his directorial debutâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;convinced the squinting man to come out of thespian retirement. Clint shouldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve quit while he was ahead. Eastwood plays Gus, an aging baseball scout for the Atlanta Braves on an important trip to check out a prospect. Problem is, Gus canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really see anymore, so buddy Pete (John Goodman) talks Gusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; lawyer daughter, Mickey (Amy Adams, playing a character presumably named after Mickey Mantle), into traveling with Gus and helping him out. Right there, you can call bullshit. Such a scenario, with the Atlanta Braves or any other major league team, would never happen. (Well, perhaps with the Marlins.) Anyway, the film is partrelationship movie, as the crusty dad and feisty daughter try to learn how to like each other again. It also wants to be a baseball movie, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s embarrassing on that level. By the time a couple of prospects are battling in front of headoffice honchos at Turner Field, the film has lost all credibility in terms of baseball. It also wants to be a romance, with Justin Timberlake playing a former pitcher turned scout trying to get into Mickeyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pants. Timberlake and Adams have zero chemistry, and its painful watching them go through the motions. Eastwood is doing his old haggard shtick here, offering the same sort of performance he gave in Gran Torino, minus the racism. Adams is a good actress, but she can do little with the silly character she has been handed.

Timberlake should just try to get his ass on Saturday Night Live as a regular, because he isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t cutting it at the movies ever since his Facebook film. SPECIAL FEATURES: There are a couple of featurettes: one with Eastwood and Lorenz discussing their collaborations, and another where Adams and Timberlake basically waste your time.

Killer Joe: Unrated Directorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cut (Blu-ray) LIONSGATE MOVIE B+ SPECIAL FEATURES B BLU-RAY GEEK FACTOR 7 (OUT OF 10)

Matthew McConaughey had a great year. His turn in Magic Mike is the best part of that film; he was the only good thing in The Paperboy; he played an excellent lawman in Bernie. Then thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what he did as a lawman in this movie. Put this entertainingly nasty badcop thriller alongside Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (which featured an unhinged Nicolas Cage) as a prime example of a good actor going nuts in a fine way. McConaughey plays Killer Joe Cooper, a detective with a name that lets you know his favorite hobby. Under the direction of William Friedkin (that fellow who gave us The French Connection and The Exorcist), McConaughey is a perverted mystery man for the ages. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s quiet and sinister for the majority of the film, but when he goes off (including a rather shocking moment involving Gina Gershon and fried chicken), he achieves a deranged villainy that has gone unmatched this movie year. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in good company. Emile Hirsch is terrific as Chris, a stupid weasel who calls upon Killer Joe for an insurance schemeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a move that puts his entire family in jeopardy. Thomas Haden Church has never been better; he plays Ansel, Chrisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; dimwitted father. The same goes for Gershon as his disgusting stepmom. Juno BY BOB GRIMM, bgrimm@tucsonweekly.com

Temple continues to show a willingness to put it all out there as Dottie, Chrisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; sisterâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; and the unfortunate apple of Joeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eye. McConaughey, like Cage before him, doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t give a damn about his â&#x20AC;&#x153;nice guyâ&#x20AC;? actorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s image in this one. Killer Joe is a bad, bad man, and McConaughey wants you to know it. SPECIAL FEATURES: You get a Friedkin commentary (Hooray!), a nearly half-hour making-of doc, and a nice Q&A with the cast.

Sleepwalk With Me (Blu-ray) MPI MOVIE B+ SPECIAL FEATURES BBLU-RAY GEEK FACTOR 7.5 (OUT OF 10)

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m quite happy about how this movie year has gone. This is one of the many films I can say came along, surprised me, and thoroughly entertained me. Comedian Mike Birbiglia plays a thinly veiled version of himself, a man trying to make a living as a standup comedian while dealing with a condition that leaves him prone to scary sleepwalking episodes. His story is funnyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; and just a little scary. Some of the stuff this man puts himself through while sleeping is undeniably funny, but you do wind up more than a little bit concerned for him. Count Birbiglia as one of the yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s breakout performers; he is a total kick. Throw in some great cameos by David Wain and Marc Maron, and you have yourself one of the yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most-underrated films. Do yourself a favor: Seek, and enjoy. SPECIAL FEATURES: A Birbiglia commentary, some footage of some filming mishaps, and a making-of featurette help make this a disc worth getting.

CHOW Amelia Grey’s has brought charm, fresh food and even high tea to Campbell Avenue

NOSHING AROUND

Quaint Café

BY JERRY MORGAN noshing@tucsonweekly.com

Thunder Canyon’s Downtown Location

BY RITA CONNELLY, rconnelly@tucsonweekly.com ampbell Avenue is now home to another eatery—and oh, what a pleasant little spot it is. Amelia Grey’s was once buried deep in the bowels of an antique mall on Speedway Boulevard, but earlier in 2012, it moved to Campbell Avenue, just south of Fort Lowell Road. The move was a great thing, both for the restaurant and for diners. The room might best be described as shabby chic. Antiques and collectibles are scattered here and there; baked goods (all made in house) sit a bright display case and on an old wooden table, tempting with their beauty. In a nook toward the back, you’ll find shelves with delicate tea cups and saucers. Plates are mismatched, and everything comes to the table at once. When we arrived for our lunch visit, around noon, we found the room packed with groups of women, a few couples and a family or two. We were tucked into a corner on the small but charming patio, which allowed us to watch all of the comings and goings. Most of the dishes have someone’s name attached. There’s a nice list of sandwiches, with such titles as Edna’s ham and Swiss on rye ($8) and Nellie’s tuna melt ($8). Salad choices are numerous, with creative mixes; the names include Velda’s artichoke salad ($8) and Marcia’s chicken fruit salad ($8). Two soups are always on the menu (cup $4; bowl $6). Cups are huge—big enough so that with a half-sandwich, anyone would be satiated. The beef stew soup was studded with chunks of seasoned beef and bites of potatoes, peas, onions and other veggies. The broth was dark and beefy; a buttery roll was a nice touch on the side. Velvety and rich with chicken broth, the tortilla soup was a pure delight. Fine shreds of chicken, bits of onion and chiles, and cream all came together as a complete package. There was a bit of heat, and the flavor lingered on the palate. Add the crunchy red and green tortilla chips, and you’ve got the kind of soup you wish you could make. The ham and Swiss on rye was a big sandwich. The ham is the star: Several thick slices of tender ham, a juicy tomato, two or three slices of Swiss, a fine bit of lettuce, and both mayo and mustard were placed between judicious slices of marble rye. The sandwich was quite satisfying—and big enough to take half home for another lunch. Velda’s artichoke salad was delightful. A huge mound of fresh, chopped lettuce was topped with a plentiful helping of crispy

I stopped in at the space at 220 E. Broadway Blvd. to see what was going on. There was a gaggle of people filling out applications as crews were working to finish up construction. The Thunder Canyon Brewery folks had a big space heater going to beat the chill—because the electricity was just turned on that morning. The bar itself is made from reclaimed wood, and behind it sits 40 beer taps. Our discussion, of course, turned to beer, and they plan on having dedicated taps for not only certain breweries, but for specific styles. Thunder Canyon is shooting for a Jan. 8 soft opening. They will be bringing kegs in at first, but there are plans for a full brewery at the location to be up and running within about a year.

JOIE HORWITZ

17th Street Market Getting Smaller

Monte Cristo sandwich: Ham and gouda on French toast with fresh berry jam. bacon bites, sundried tomatoes and artichoke Amelia Grey’s Café and Catering pieces, with hard-boiled eggs draped artfully on 3073 N. Campbell Ave. top. (I declined the red onions that are also a 326-2663; part of the mix.) A fresh poppy-seed dressing ameliagreyscafe.com served on the side was perfectly creamy and tart. Open Tuesday through Saturday, 8 a.m. One of the same buttery rolls that came with the to 4 p.m.; Sunday, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. beef soup was served with it as well. Pluses: Well-prepared dishes with a bit of whimsy Although we didn’t partake, tea is central to Minuses: Slow and scattered service Amelia’s. The server brings a pot to the table, as well as a bowl filled with all sorts of teas from which to choose. You also get to choose your tea cup. High tea ($17) is available with 24 hours of is Swiss and cheddar cheese, as well as hollannotice. You get three petite sandwiches, one mini daise sauce. The cheeses seemed to get lost, and quiche and three gourmet desserts. the salmon was a tad salty, but the dish would Our drinks were lemonade, iced tea, espresso hold its own against the traditional versions. and an Americano (all $2.50). They were all The tiny bowl of fruit was a nice side. pleasant. Desserts are plentiful and all made in-house. On our breakfast visit, we found that the The chocolate cheesecake ($3.50) was a goodchoices are few, but interesting, and available all sized portion. The chocolate and cream cheese day. We found the place to be not nearly as busy balanced perfectly, and the chocolate-crumb as it was on our lunch visit. crust was tender. Mom’s breakfast casserole ($6.50) was deliWe found the vanilla cupcake ($2.50) to be cious. Resembling a hefty quiche, the dish was tasty but a bit dry, perhaps from spending too served with fresh fruit, a small croissant and much time in the display case. house-made salsa. On top of a tender crust, egg As delightful as all the food was, the service had been whipped and blended with bacon, needed some work. Granted, the restaurant was ham, green chiles and cheese. With all of those crowded at lunchtime, but it took forever to get tastes and textures, the salsa was unnecessary our food, and our server seemed overwhelmed. (and a little bland). At breakfast, there was only one server, and she Amelia’s does a nice take on eggs Benedict seemed a bit scattered. (called just “The Benedict,” $6.50). Instead of Nonetheless, the quaint café, with its fresh, English muffins, the bread is a sliced-open crois- delectable food, is a most welcome addition to sant. The ham is replaced by salmon, and there Campbell Avenue.

The 17th Street Market (840 E. 17th St.) has pared its stock down to about one third of what it used to be. Is this a sign that the business is teetering? When I called, a representative informed me that the market has indeed cut down the items to what sells, and that business isn’t what it used to be, but they are doing their best to stay afloat. It was bad enough when they removed the fresh fish. It pains me that a local market is struggling so heavily.

Create Café and Catering Is Changing Create Café and Catering is changing: The “Café” portion at 4660 E. Camp Lowell Drive is now closed. The “Catering” part is going to be expanding, adding the ability for large cakes. The catering operation will move to a new space; meanwhile, a new concept, with a new owner, will supposedly be moving in to the vacated Camp Lowell location sometime early next year. We will keep our eyes open.

World Wide Wrappers Has Breakfast, Too Breakfast is popping up all over Fourth Avenue! World Wide Wrappers at 500 N. Fourth Ave. is now offering breakfast wraps to go, along with the smoothie and juice menu. Seems like nice choice if you are downtown and need something on the go. Doors open at 7 a.m.; www.wrapperson4th.com.

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CHOW SCAN Chow Scan is the Weekly’s selective guide to Tucson restaurants. Only restaurants that our reviewers recommend are included. Complete reviews are online at tucsonweekly.com. Chow Scan includes reviews from August 1999 to the present. Send comments and updates to: mailbag@tucsonweekly.com; fax to 792-2096; or mail to Tucson Weekly/Chow, P.O. Box 27087, Tucson, AZ 85726. These listings have no connection with Weekly advertising.

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PRICE RANGES $ $8 or less $ $ $8-$15 $ $ $ $15-$25 $ $ $ $ $25 and up. Prices are based on menu entrée selections, and exclude alcoholic beverages. FORMS OF PAYMENT V Visa MC Mastercard AMEX American Express DIS Discover DC Diner’s Club checks local checks with guarantee card and ID only debit debit cards CatCard University of Arizona CatCard. TYPE OF SERVICE Counter Quick or fast-food service, usually includes take-out. Diner Minimal table service. Café Your server is most likely working solo. Bistro Professional servers, with assistants bussing tables. Full Cover Multiple servers, with the table likely well set. Full Bar Separate bar space for drinks before and after dinner. RESTAURANT LOCATION C Central North to River Road, east to Alvernon Way, west to

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Granada Avenue downtown, and south to 22nd Street. NW Northwest North of River Road, west of Campbell Avenue. NE Northeast North of River Road, east of Campbell Avenue.

E East East of Alvernon Way, south of River Road. S South South of 22nd Street. W West West of Granada Avenue, south of River Road.

MEXICAN SAN CARLOS MEXICAN GRILL W 1370 N. Silverbell Road, No. 180. 792-2075. Open Monday-Friday 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Saturday 8 a.m.-9 p.m. Café/Beer Only. DIS, MC, V. Ample, reliable servings of shrimp and fish dishes inspired by Sea of Cortez cuisine, plus the usual Sonoran favorites, are as unpretentious but appealing as the restaurant’s nicely done storefront space. (11-15-07) $-$$ SIR VEZA’S TACO GARAGE E 4699 E. Speedway Blvd. 323-8226. Open Sunday-

Thursday 11 a.m.-10 p.m. (bar open until midnight); Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-midnight (bar open until 2 a.m.). Bistro/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Also at 220 W. Wetmore Road (888-8226). Sir Veza’s is a cool concept, mixing cars (including occasional hot-rod-themed events), booze, sports, music and youthful energy. The food is cheap and largely tasty, with numerous taco offerings, salads, burgers and even “chicken and churros.” The patio is wonderful (even if the view is not), and there are numerous tequila choices. This is a great place to get just a little bit rowdy with friends. (6-3-10). $-$$ TACO GIRO MEXICAN GRILL E 5754 E. 22nd St. 514-2199. Open daily 7 a.m.-10

p.m. Café. Beer and Margaritas. AMEX, MC and V. It’s an undeniable formula for success: great food at seriously low prices. The salsa bar’s cool, and the service is quick and friendly. There’s no decor to speak of, however: This is a place to go when you’re craving good Mexican food, and you don’t want to bust your budget. (2-21-08) $ TAQUERIA PICO DE GALLO S 2618 S. Sixth Ave. 623-8775. Open daily 9 a.m.-9

p.m. Counter/Diner/No Alcohol. AMEX, DC, DIS, MC, V. Although not as flashy as some of its competitors on the Tucson Mexican food scene, Pico de Gallo has nevertheless been serving up outstanding fare for years. Ceviche, birria, fresh fruit cocktail and a carne asada to die for are just a few of the treats to savor when visiting this gem of a restaurant. $ TEQUILA FACTORY S 5655 W. Valencia Road (800) 344-9435. Open Monday-Thursday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sunday 10 a.m.-2 p.m. and 4-10 p.m. Bistro/Full Bar. AMEX, MC, V. An emphasis on presentation highlights the colorfully decorated Tequila Factory; each dish looks like a work of art. The food, featuring typical Mexican fare, usually tastes pretty good—but it always looks amazing. An all-you-can-eat brunch is offered from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. every Sunday. (11-20-03) $$-$$$ TERESA’S MOSAIC CAFÉ W 2456 N. Silverbell Road. 624-4512. Open MondaySaturday 7:30 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sunday 7:30 a.m.-2 p.m. Diner/Full Bar. DIS, MC, V. With regional Mexican cuisine, featuring the cooking of Oaxaca, Teresa’s Mosaic Café has become one of the nicer places in town to suck down margaritas and nibble on fresh tortillas. A lofty view of the Catalinas and the rich complexity of Oaxacan molés can be sampled with equal pleasure. $-$$

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ZENDEJAS #13 C 1628 E. Sixth St. 867-8001. Open MondayWednesday 10 a.m.-8 p.m.; Thursday-Saturday 10 a.m.2 a.m. CafĂŠ/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, VISA. Legendary UA placekicker Max Zendejas is back, and instead of serving up last-second field goals, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s serving up inexpensive Mexican fare. Burros are central, as is cold beer and the casual, comfy atmosphere. The red chili burro is a winner for red meat-lovers; seafood fans will find a grilled tilapia burro. Gringos can munch on wings and burgers. The place is tiny, so if you want to get a table on game day, get there early. (9-9-10) $ ZIVAZ MEXICAN BISTRO E 4590 E. Broadway Blvd. 325-1234. Open Monday-

Thursday 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.9 p.m. CafĂŠ/Counter. Beer, Wine and Specialty Drinks. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. While the look and layout of Zivaz feels familiar, the restaurantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s melding of tasty, nuanced Mexican food with a fast-casual format is quite unique. Most of the dishesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;from standards like tacos, sopa de tortilla and enchiladas to somewhat unusual fast-casual fare like the pescado ajillo (a garlic/mushroom mahimahi)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;are sure to please. (4-6-06) $-$$

MIDDLE EASTERN ALIBABA PERSIAN AND MEDITERRANEAN RESTAURANT C 2545 E. Speedway Blvd., No. 125. 319-2559. Open Monday-Saturday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sunday 11 a.m.8 p.m. Counter/No Alcohol. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. This humble strip-mall restaurant serves a variety of delicious kabobs, pita sandwiches, lamb shank, gyro and more. Vegetarians have plenty of options. Catering services are available. $ FALAFEL KING C 1800 E. Fort Lowell Road, No. 168. 319-5554. Open Monday-Saturday 11 a.m.-8 p.m. CafĂŠ/No Alcohol. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Falafel King offers high-quality Lebanese fast food. The shawarma can sometimes be a tad dry, but the lamb kabobs are moist; the falafel is superb; and the baba ganoushâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a pureed eggplant dipâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; is smokey, rich and irresistible. (2-7-08) $-$$ LUXOR CAFĂ&#x2030; C 3699 N. Campbell Ave. 325-3771. Open Sunday-

Wednesday 5 p.m.-1 a.m.; Thursday 5 p.m.-2 a.m.; Friday and Saturday 5 p.m.-4 a.m. CafĂŠ/No Alcohol. DIS, MC, V. A large and fascinating menu combined with excellent cooking makes this comfortably exotic, hospitable Middle Eastern joint a standout; fair prices make it a great value. The owner and chef are both from Egypt, which is reflected in the presence of homestyle vegetarian specialties like falafel, fool (spiced, mashed fava beans) and koshari (a homey mixture of rice, beans and pasta), plus a wide selection of chicken, beef, lamb and fish dishes. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss the superb baklava. (5-1707) $-$$ SHISH KEBAB HOUSE OF TUCSON E 5855 E. Broadway Blvd., No. 118. 745-5308. Open

Monday 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; Tuesday-Saturday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sunday noon-8 p.m. CafĂŠ/Counter/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V, Checks. Try the motabal, a sinuous purĂŠe of eggplant grilled over an open flame, completely unlike any baba ganoush weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ever had. Together with a deftly light and lemony version of hummos and the cracked-wheat dish tabouli, it makes a refreshing meal. The kafta is ground beef with a hint of ginger. Meals at Shish Kebab House are all available to goâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and with seating for no more than 60, that seems like a good plan. $-$$ SINBADâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S FINE MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE C 810 E. University Ave. 623-4010. Open MondayThursday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Friday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Saturday noon-10 p.m.; Sunday 4-9 p.m. CafĂŠ/Beer and Wine. DIS, MC, V. The atmosphere at this university-area restaurant is delightfully beautiful, and the foodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s even better. Fresh, flavorful and often healthyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;many selections are vegetarianâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no wonder Sinbadâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s is a Tucson favorite. (5-8-03) $-$$ ZAYNA MEDITERRANEAN CAFE E 4122 E. Speedway Blvd. 881-4348. Open daily 11

a.m. to 8 p.m. Counter/BYO. MC, V. Zaynaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s serves up some of the best beef gyro youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll find anywhere. The meats served here are all moist and perfectly cooked, and the vegetarian offerings are delightful and flavorful. Consider a piece of baklava for dessert. (11-12-09) $-$$

PAN-ASIAN ASIAN BISTRO C 3122 N. Campbell Ave., No. 100. 881-7800. Open Monday-Thursday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-midnight; Sunday 11 a.m.-9 p.m. CafĂŠ/No

Alcohol. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Yes, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll find plenty of traditional Asian plates here, but this midtown â&#x20AC;&#x153;bistroâ&#x20AC;? also offers an assortment of dishes from all over China, Thailand and other countries. While dining at the restaurant is a pleasant experience, Asian Bistro also delivers to a wide area of midtown. Beverages include fruity slushes, bubble teas and blended coffees. (5-29-08) $-$$ AZIAN C 15 N. Alvernon Way. 777-8311. Open MondayThursday 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. and 5 p.m.-10 p.m.; Friday 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. and 5 p.m.-midnight; Saturday 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. and 5-midnight; Sunday noon to 9:30 p.m. Bistro/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. While Azian needs more-helpful sushi-roll menus, and the servers need to explain the do-it-yourself Korean barbecue a heck of a lot better, the results sure are tasty. The all-you-can-eat options come with a buffet at both lunch and dinner, and bento boxes are offered at lunch time. (6-14-12) $-$$ THE BAMBOO CLUB E 5870 E. Broadway Blvd., No. 524. 514-9665. Open Sunday-Thursday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-11 p.m. Bistro/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. An upscale Pacific Rim palace of a place where generous portions of familiar food with exotic twists are grilled, woked, sizzled, steamed and noodled. (12-12-02) $$-$$$ CHOPSTIX ASIAN DINER S 3820 S. Palo Verde Road, Suite 101. 889-7849. Open Monday-Thursday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Friday 11 a.m.9:30 p.m.; Saturday 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Sunday 11:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m. Counter/Diner/No Alcohol. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. This diner serves fresh, fast food done up Asian style. By day, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a buffet. And at night, it offers friendly table service with all types of Asian specialties. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a nice place to enjoy a quick lunch or meet with friends. Enjoy the tasty wor wonton soup and crab puffs. No sushi, though. (1-20-05) $-$$ DAOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TAI PANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S E 446 N. Wilmot Road. 722-0055. Open daily 10 a.m.-8 p.m. CafĂŠ/No Alcohol. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. A huge menu of delicious Chinese and Vietnamese cuisine makes Daoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth visiting. The restaurant may look like a fast-food joint, but the cuisine and the service prove that Daoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s is anything but. Be sure to try the multifaceted Vietnamese crepe. (2-17-05) $-$$ GRAIN RIVER ASIAN BISTRO NW 12985 N. Oracle Road. 818-1555. Open TuesdaySaturday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sunday noon-9 p.m. CafĂŠ. Beer, Wine and Specialty Drinks. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll find a just about all kinds of Asian food here. Korean? By all means, with a tasty bulgogi. Japanese? Try the teppanyaki. Thai? Both curry and noodle dishes are available. Chinese? Check out house specialties such as the fall-apart-tender Grain River fish. Friendly service. (9-13-12) $$

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Monday-Saturday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sunday 11 a.m.-8 p.m. Counter/No Alcohol. DIS, MC and V. At this small Asian fast-casual joint, the food is plentiful and fairly pricedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and it comes out of the kitchen hot and fast. While most of the menu is Chinese-influenced, you can also find pho, pad Thai and wings. Hot Wok is not glamorous, but considering that most of the restaurants nearby are chains, this is a pleasant neighborhood spot. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t look for smiles from the staffâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but do look for a great deal. (3-1-12) $ OM MODERN ASIAN KITCHEN NW 1765 E. River Road. 299-7815. Open MondaySaturday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sunday 3-10 p.m. Full Cover/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. The menu at this sleek â&#x20AC;&#x153;modern kitchenâ&#x20AC;? reads like a culinary tour of Asia. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a sure hand and a creative mind in the kitchen, assuring that flavors and textures come together in wonderful ways. A potato salad laced with luscious duck confit was splendid, and the sushi is as pretty as it is tasty. Bento boxes are served at lunch. (5-20-10) $$-$$$ PEI WEI ASIAN DINER C 845 E. University Blvd. 884-7413. Open Sunday-

Thursday 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Summer hours: daily 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Counter/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Also at 5285 E. Broadway Blvd. (514-7004) and 633 W. Ina Road (297-3238). The folks behind P.F. Changâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s have brought fast-casual Asian fare to Tucson with its Pei Wei chain, and the mini-Changâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s does the parent proud. Featuring delicious, freshly prepared Asian standards at fairly cheap prices, Pei Wei is a great place to grab some fine Asian food to go, or to sit down with the college kids and eat in a modern atmosphere. (11-27-03) $-$$

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RICE HOUSE CHINA THAI C 54 W. Congress St. 622-9557. Open Monday-Friday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Saturday Noon-9 p.m. Café/Counter/ Beer Only. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. The food at this downtown spot, which offers a full assortment of both Thai and Chinese standards, can be hit-and-miss—but when it’s good, it’s really good. The tom yum soup is incredible, and you should really try the pad prig king (a dry red curry). You can find some amazing deals as lunch specials, too. (1-12-12) $-$$

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SERI MELAKA E 6133 E. Broadway Blvd. 747-7811. Open MondayThursday 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Friday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Saturday 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sunday 11:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Café/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DC, DIS, MC, V. For a wonderful dip into the festive and aromatic cooking of Southeast Asia, a trip to Seri Melaka will leave your senses swimming. From the spicy, authentic sambals to the outstanding curries, Seri Melaka serves up authentic cuisine at reasonable prices. (10-18-01) $$ TAKAMATSU E 5532 E. Speedway Blvd. 512-0800. Open SundayThursday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-midnight. Bistro/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. After a devastating fire, Takamatsu is back. If you like Japanese or Korean food, you’ll find plenty of tasty entrées here, although the emphasis is on Korean barbecue and sushi (including the tempting all-you-can-eat option for $19.95). For an interactive, do-it-yourself treat, try preparing the Korean barbecue yourself at your table. Just consider yourself warned: Pork belly, though delicious, will catch on fire if you’re not paying attention. (12-1-11) $$-$$$ THAI CHINA BISTRO E 5121 E. Grant Road. 325-5185. Open daily 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Counter/No Alcohol. MC, V. What a nice little find! As the name indicates, there is both Thai and Chinese food here. There’s also sushi, with a bit of Korean thrown in for good measure. The pad Thai is tangy and tender, and the squid salad is a winner— loaded not just with tender squid, but also fresh greens and other vegetables in a soy-based sauce. The service at this fast-casual place is friendly and upbeat. (4-1912) $-$$ WEI ASIAN CAFÉ E 9450 E. Golf Links Road. 722-1119. Open MondaySaturday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sunday noon-9 p.m. Café/ Beer and Wine. MC, V. The far eastside’s restaurant scene is looking a bit better thanks to Wei. The café aspires to be truly pan-Asian, featuring a huge menu of dishes attributed to China, Vietnam, Thailand, Korea, Hong Kong, Japan and Singapore. The food is reasonably priced and consistently decent to excellent. Give the sesame chicken a shot if you’re unsure what to try. (10-20-05) $-$$

PIZZA 1702 C 1702 E. Speedway Blvd. 325-1702. Open MondaySaturday 11 a.m.-11 p.m. Café/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. This little university-area pizza joint has friendly service and pizza slices bigger than your head. With an ever-changing 50-plus beers on tap, there’s something for everyone. If that’s not enough, generous salads and delicious wings will keep you coming back for more. (3-13-08) $$ BIANCHI’S W 1110 N. Silverbell Road. 882-8500. Open SundayThursday 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-midnight. Counter/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Twice-cooked for crisp crust that tears well, their Meateater’s Supreme is packed at 13 inches. $-$$ BROOKLYN PIZZA COMPANY C 534 N. Fourth Ave. 622-6868. Open Monday-

Thursday 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-2:30 a.m.; Sunday noon-10 p.m. Counter/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DC, DIS, MC, V. There may be nothing gourmet or innovatively outrageous about Brooklyn Pizza, but if you like your pie with a crunchy, handtossed crust, a savory simmered tomato sauce, lots of gooey mozzarella cheese and the traditional toppings of your choice, you’ve come to the right place. Sandwiches also reflect attention to the “only best ingredients” philosophy. There’s nothing here that will disappoint. $ BZ’S PIZZA E 9431 E. 22nd St., No. 137. 546-1402. Open Sunday-Thursday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Café/Beer and Wine. DIS, MC, V. Eastsiders have a nifty little pizza joint that puts out some great gourmet pies. The crust is light and chewy; the sauce is smooth and rich; and if you can’t find a

44 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

topping you like, you should just stay home. Nightly pasta specials, great salads and sandwiches are on the menu. The vibe is family-friendly, although BZ’s is also a great place to meet friends for a glass of wine and a couple of pizzas. (7-7-11) $-$$ EMPIRE PIZZA AND PUB C 137 E. Congress St. 882-7499. Open SundayWednesday 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Thursday-Saturday 11 a.m.-3 a.m. Counter/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Empire Pizza and Pub has injected a new kind of life into downtown Tucson, serving up big New York-style pizza by the slice (or whole), along with some salads and Italian sandwiches. The small patio offers views of the craziness on Congress Street, while the back bar area offers a couple of TVs featuring whatever game happens to be on. (2-3-11) $ GRANDMA TONY’S E 7010 E. Broadway Blvd. 885-7117. Open Sunday-

Thursday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Diner/No Alcohol. MC, V. Also at 7878 E. Wrightstown Road (886-4461). Brought to you by the folks at the Gaslight Theatre, these are hand-tossed pies with a round edge and real mozzarella. The favorites are the ham and pineapple or the mushroom and sausage. For the same lowish price, you can also order any combination of toppings. $-$$ GRIMALDI’S C 446 N. Campbell Ave., No. 100. 882-6100. Open

Sunday-Thursday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-11 p.m. Bistro/Full Bar. AMEX, DC, DIS, MC, V. One of New York City’s highest-rated pizza joints is serving some of the best pizza in Tucson. You’ll pay more here for your coal brick-oven pie, but it’s worth it. We recommend sitting in the bar area while you munch on your pizza or calzone, so you can watch the doughthrowing and pizza-baking show. All three sauces (red, white and pesto) are tasty; just be careful while selecting the often-pricey toppings. (9-25-08) $$-$$$ LA MADRINA NW 7872 N. Oracle Road. 742-2111. Open Monday-

Thursday 11 a.m.-8:30 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sunday noon-8 p.m. Summer hours: Closed Monday. Counter/Beer and Wine. DIS, MC, V. This tiny joint offers up good pizza, decent sandwiches, nice salads and a most-interesting cheesecake, all wrapped up in an unpretentious setting. Tucked away in a corner of the Trader Joe’s plaza on North Oracle Road, La Madrina has been in business since the mid-’80s. Pizzas come in four sizes with a wide assortment of toppings, including anchovies and shrimp. And the “best cheesecake ever” is pretty darn good. (8-16-12) $-$$ MAGPIES GOURMET PIZZA E 105 S. Houghton Road. 751-9949. Open Monday-

Saturday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sunday 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Counter/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DC, DIS, MC, V. Also at 4654 E. Speedway Blvd. (795-5977), 605 N. Fourth Ave. (628-1661) and 7315 N. Oracle Road (2972712). Only the Fourth Avenue location serves beer and wine. This local chain brags about serving the best pizza in town—and to a large extent, they back up that brag. Fresh ingredients and lots of them highlight their diverse selection of pies. (6-12-03) $-$$ MARCO’S PIZZA S 6330 E. Golf Links Road, Suite 142. 747-3898.

Open Sunday-Thursday 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-midnight. Counter/No Alcohol. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Also at 10550 N. La Cañada Drive (2976500) and 5650 S. 12th Ave., Suite 180 (300-4449). This Ohio-based franchise offers some of the better chain-joint pizza in Tucson. The chicken fresco pie— featuring moist grilled chicken, tangy red sauce and delicious bacon—left our mouths watering and wanting more. Some of the employees weren’t as knowledgeable as they could have been, but there’s no denying that Marco’s makes exceptionally tasty, moderately priced pizzas. (12-18-08) $$-$$$ NEW YORK PIZZA DEPARTMENT E 1521 N. Wilmot Road. 207-7667. Open Sunday-Friday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Saturday 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Counter/No Alcohol. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. New York Pizza Department offers some of Tucson’s best thin-crust pies, both whole and by the slice. The ingredients make the pizzas so great—yes, that’s real ham, not lunchmeat, on your meat-lover pizza. Calzones, panini, stromboli, subs both hot and cold, Italian bombers, wings, salads and several entrées round out the sizable menu. (12-22-11) $-$$ NO ANCHOVIES C 870 E. University Blvd. 623-3333. Open daily 11 a.m.-midnight or later. Counter/Full Bar. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Gourmet pizzas find dizzying combinations of fresh and unusual ingredients. Catering to signature creations or simply celebrating pizza, No Anchovies puts a new spin on the old pie. (8-2-01) $-$$ OREGANO’S E 4900 E. Speedway Blvd. 327-8955. Open daily 11

a.m.-10 p.m. Diner. Beer, Wine and Specialty Drinks.

AMEX, DC, DIS, MC, V. A 1950s-style pizza joint, Oreganoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s is sure to please on every level. From handmade stuffed pizzas and enormous bowls of pastas to salads and Italian favorites (lasagna, sausage sandwiches, ravioli), Oreganoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s has it all. Be sure to call ahead to see how long the line is, since the wait can easily be an hour. (1-3-02) $-$$ RENEEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ORGANIC OVEN E 7065 E. Tanque Verde Road. 886-0484. Open daily 11 a.m.-9 p.m. CafĂŠ/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Folks on the eastside have reason to celebrate. This little gem of a pizzeria offers up pizzas, pastas, sandwiches and salads using fresh and often organic ingredients. A nice little wine list is available. This is a familyfriendly place that rivals other upscale pizza joints in town. (3-23-06) $-$$ ROCCOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S LITTLE CHICAGO C 2707 E. Broadway Blvd. 321-1860. Open Monday-

Saturday 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Diner/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. This Windy City-style pizzeria has made a big splash in the Old Pueblo with its tasty square-cut, thin-crust and oversized stuffed pizza. Mushroom mania (the Fungus Humongous) and hot-and-spicy chiles and sausage (the Great Chicago Fire) are just two of the specialty pizzas that await your pleasure, or you can mix and match ingredients to create something uniquely your own. Little touches like ripe, red, sliced roma tomatoes and a blend of four cheeses make Roccoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pizza a hit in any form. $-$$

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

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Thursday 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.10 p.m. Counter/Beer and Wine. AMEX, DIS, MC, V. Also at 5285 E. Broadway Blvd. (514-1122) and 2990 N. Campbell Ave. (795-0344). Whippet-thin specialty pizzas and tasty salads dominate the menu at Sauce, a fast-casual restaurant owned by the folks behind Wildflower and NoRTH. A trendy, bright atmosphere and a large outdoor dining area provide ample reasons for you to eat out, although to-go orders for those who want to dine at home are welcomed. (12-25-03) $-$$

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MUSIC

SOUNDBITES

Our music critics review the best of the year gone by

By Stephen Seigel, musiced@tucsonweekly.com

Top Dead Center

Top Picks BY THE USUAL GANG OF IDIOTS, mailbag@tucsonweekly.com ists, lists, everywhere. Every publication on planet Earth is publishing best-of lists at this time of year—and we’re no different. We’ve asked some of our resident music writers about their favorite albums of 2012, and here’s what they gave us. Another round of writers will weigh in next week.

Gene Armstrong (in alphabetical order) Fiona Apple, The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do (Epic) Not as thorny as When the Pawn … or as elaborately orchestrated as Extraordinary Machine, this album shows Apple to be as challenging as ever, but in a stripped-down setting: It’s mostly just her voice and piano, accompanied by percussionist Charley Drayton. Her latest songs are funny, sexy, depressing, creepy and brilliant. David Byrne and St. Vincent, Love This Giant (4AD/Todo Mundo) An inspired collaboration. Two purveyors of nonconformist pop-rock create angular melodies and jarring rhythms that make sense and are unexpectedly easy on the ears, thanks to including elements of Afrobeat, New Orleans-style horns and even minimalist classical music. It all works beautifully. Gary Clark Jr., Blak and Blu (Warner Bros.) On his major-label debut, this hotshot blues-rock singer and guitarist from Austin, Texas, stretches out. It’s a triumphant breakthrough, demonstrating his versatility: straight-ahead rock, ’60s-style R&B rave-ups, psychedelic and British invasion-style electric blues, a little Hendrix here, a little Prince there.

Kathleen Edwards: Voyageur (Zoe/ Rounder) This album by this Canadian country-folk singer leans toward her rockier side. Every song, though, sounds like an instant favorite on an alternative-folk hit parade in an ideal world, part of the credit for which must go to Edwards’ co-producer, Justin Vernon (Bon Iver). Donald Fagen, Sunken Condos (Reprise) In the absence of a new album by Steely Dan, this will do nicely. Fagen fuses his slinky voice (nostalgia in a bottle) to forge a late-night blend of midtempo jazz, blues and pop. This album’s high-sheen lacquer proves that “slick” in music need not always have negative connotations. Garbage, Not Your Kind of People (Stunvolume) One of the great mainstream pop-rock bands of the 1990s returned with its first album in seven years, and the pleasant surprise was that it’s as good as the music of Garbage’s heyday—all bright digital surfaces, rippling analog brawn and Shirley Manson, one of the best femme-fatale frontwomen in rock. Kendrick Lamar, Good Kid, M.A.A.D. City (Top Dawg/ Aftermath/lnterscope) Produced by Dr. Dre, Compton, Calif.’s Lamar is easily the most inventive MC to emerge in years. One can hear elements of rap’s past—G-funk, old-school, Native Tongues—but the soundscape is fresh and dynamic, with off-kilter pop and rock infusing Lamar’s intricate internal rhymes about his struggle to transcend his environment. Beth Orton, Sugaring Season (ANTI-) The beguiling English singer-songwriter, now on her sixth album, continues to mix a classic

British folk sound with electric instruments and world-music touches. The results are uniformly hypnotic and melodically inviting. And Orton sings more soulfully than ever, occasionally forgoing her trademark breathiness. Sinkane, Mars (DFA) The third album by the Sudan-born, Ohio-based multiinstrumentalist Ahmed Gallab (who has toured as a drummer for Caribou and of Montreal) is intense, rewarding and endlessly fascinating: Shimmering washes of synthesizer go up against African rhythms, 1960s-style jazz-funk and shoegaze head trips. Scott Walker, Bish Bosch (4AD) In his first studio album in six years, the avant-garde British singer and obscure genius gives us his trademark cabaret art-rock, with a cryptic sci-fi undercurrent. This recording is warmer and more inviting than predecessors Tilt (1995) and The Drift (2006), even on the nightmarish 21-minute track “SDSS1416+13B (Zercon, A Flagpole Sitter).”

Casey Dewey (in order of preference) Swans, The Seer (Young God) Michael Gira and company carved out a dense and atmospheric doublealbum, a concept album of uncertainty and impending doom. This is the perfect album in a year of doomsday-prepping and other on-the-brink hysterics. Chromatics, Kill for Love (Italians Do It Better) This late-night trek across rain-soaked streets starts with a cover of Neil Young’s “Into the Black” and—on the iTunes, version, at least— ends with a 14-minute track called “No Escape.” Between the two are shimmering tales full of regret, missed opportunities and lost love. continued on next page

YET MORE NEW YEAR’S OPTIONS! Elsewhere in this issue, you’ll find info about a few ways to spend your New Year’s Eve. Just about every joint in town has some sort of party planned, so there’s lots of stuff that wasn’t mentioned in depth there. Here are some other noteworthy ways to usher in the new year. Perhaps it’s somewhat natural to look back at the past as we move into the future, but nostalgia seems to be in vogue at some of these celebrations. As the Rialto Theatre will be featuring an ‘80s/’90s video dance party, across the street, Club Congress will look even further back: The downtown mainstay will feature a trip back to disco’s glory days with its Studio 54 New Year’s Eve Bash. If the ’70s were about anything, it was excess, and to go along with that, the club is attempting to break a record with the construction of what they’re calling “the biggest disco ball in the history of the Western Hemisphere.” They’ve also got two stages of entertainment: disco and funk band the Boogie Oogies on one, and Retro-lution DJ Sid the Kid spinning retro tunes on the other. They’ll also have a photo booth to document your experience, just in case your memory needs a little refreshing the next day. Strangely, there’s no mention of piles of cocaine or Bianca Jagger parading into the club on horseback. Tickets to the bash are $25, and there are VIP options as well. Doors open at 8 p.m., Monday, Dec. 31. For more info, head to clubcongress. com, or call 622-8848. A sampling of other options for the night: Stand-up comic Paula Poundstone delivering the giggles at the Fox Tucson Theatre, 17 W. Congress St. (foxtucsontheatre.org, 547-3040); the Pigeon John All-Ages New Year’s Eve Bash, featuring a host of local rappers including Sneaky Jay, Black One and Johnny Redd, at The Rock, 136 N. Park Ave. (rocktucson.com, 629-9211); Neon Prophet playing live reggae jams at The Hut, 305 N. Fourth Ave. (huttucson.com, 6233200); the Tucson Jazz Society’s Annual New Year’s Eve Gala featuring performances by Rick Braun, Richard Elliot, Peter White and the Tucson Jazz Institute’s Ellington Big Band at the JW Marriott Starr Pass Resort and Spa, 3800 W. Starr Pass Blvd. (tucsonjazz.org, 903-1265).

CONCLUDE 2012 WITH A BENEFIT (OR THREE) In the spirit of the season, there are three excellent benefit shows happening this week. Salem the Bear’s Food Drive, at Club Congress, 311 E. Congress St., will be a genre-hopping good time. This year’s iteration of the annual show, which benefits the Community Food Bank of Southern Arizona, will feature performances by five local acts: Grateful Dead cover-band Top

CONTINUED ON PAGE 49

DECEMBER 27, 2012 – JANUARY 2, 2013

TuCsONWEEKLY

TOP PICKS

continued from Page 47

Death Grips, The Money Store (Epic) MC Ride’s cadence sounds like an auctioneer barking orders across drummer Zach Hill’s battle-zone beats. Punk as fuck, and noisy as hell.

es or the flatulent noises signifying a body’s death in “Corps De Blah.” Or maybe it was his praising of a castrated Ronald Reagan. A scary, demanding album.

Chrome Canyon, Elemental Themes (Stones Throw) Synthesizer noodling at its finest. Used to be, you’d meekly throw on a Tangerine Dream or Vangelis album, water your plants, scratch your bearded chin and ponder the universe. Chrome Canyon’s debut is letting you know it’s OK to do that again without shame.

Maserati, Maserati VII (Temporary Residence Ltd.) Yes, the climactic, soaring instrumental formula of bands like Mogwai and Explosions in the Sky is getting a little tired, but Maserati is the cream of the crop, and I invite them to stay a little longer. They’re also in on the joke—a song title here is “Abracadabracab,” a tongue-in-cheek hat tip to Genesis.

Lumerians, Transmissions From Telos Vol. IV (Permanent) The band is a mystery. They might be a fivepiece Bay Area group that specialize in epic Krautrock-influenced instrumentals, or they might be the hooded denizens of the bombedout Los Angeles in The Omega Man, who discovered instruments, amps and smoke machines lying around. Either way, you’re going on a journey into another dimension. Pop. 1280, The Horror (Sacred Bones) Aptly named after a spectacular Jim Thompson potboiler, Pop. 1280 is a no-nonsense band from Brooklyn, bursting at the seams with a scifi punk noir aesthetic I haven’t heard since the glory days of Six Finger Satellite or Cop Shoot Cop. The Horror takes no prisoners and knows where the bodies are buried. Dead Can Dance, Anastasis (PIAS America) A surprising and welcome return to the glorious wooden throne of Frilly Shirt Goth World Folk. It’s hard to believe it’s been 16 years since their last album, but they’ve managed to pull off a fine comeback. Lisa Gerrard and Brendan Perry’s voices are still the main attraction, and they haven’t faded one bit. I suppose that happens when you live in a magical realm. Thee Oh Sees, Putrifiers II (In the Red) John Dwyer is a motherfucker of a guitar player. It’s as if he’s holding a séance while he’s playing, unleashing the ghosts of rock ’n’ roll’s past through a decrepit transistor amp. Scott Walker, Bish Bosch (4AD) Your grandmother’s favorite melancholy crooner has been born again—hard. I don’t know the exact moment when I fell in love with this album. It was either Walker singing about burning his teeth with kitchen match48 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

Jarret Keene Best Local Metal: It was a total tossup between two Tucson hesher gangs—sludge sultans Godhunter and metalcore marauders Scorned Embrace. The former unleashed Wolves, a five-track beast on local label Acid Reflux that rattled my spine from the opening track, “(Stop Being) Sheep,” and never relented. The latter pulverized my eardrums with the devastating Enclosures, which should’ve landed these guys at the very top of the Hot Topic T-shirt wall. Metalheads now know that this desert town is full of shredders. Best Local Prog: Who the hell listens to heavy prog-rock anymore? I do, thanks to Tucson’s Sinphonics, whose Ghost Note Anthems haunted my disc changer all year long, with no way for me to exorcise these cool, jazz-inflected grunge tunes from my head. “Vertigo” is a high point, a swirling rush of layered guitar chords that explodes into riff-crazed miasma, with singer/guitarist Andrew Rivas’ intense voice soaring triumphantly—first melodically, then growlingly—above it all. The ’Phonics don’t fall down, either, when penning catchy Police-grade prog-pop like the infectious “Ditta Lotta.” Diverse, impressive musicianship. Best Local Hip-Hop Mixtape: Please check out the The T.U.C. Mixtape: Tucson Underground Cares compilation, boasting 20 tracks from various word-slingers. Proceeds from the sale of the comp benefit Open Inn, supporting homeless and at-risk youth and their families in Arizona. But that’s frosting on this sonic cake; this album doesn’t contain a single whack track. Marvel at how expertly The Natives Are Restless sample John Prine’s “Saddle in the Rain” to fashion “Not a Hobby,” a manifes-

to for DJs, with a punchy horn section, cowboysaloon piano and a funky groove. Best Post-Rock: Canadian instrumental chamber-rockers Godspeed You! Black Emperor unveiled its first new masterpiece in 10 years, ’Allelujah! Don’t Bend! Ascend! It’s a horrifyingly beautiful work of art that gets better, and scarier, with every listen. The album’s core track is the 20-minute “Mladic,” essentially the apocalyptic fervor of Revelations put to music. The violins have never sounded eerier; the guitars have never lunged with such metallic aggression. GY!BE made the Mayan end-times seem like a distinct possibility. Best Goth-Soul: This category is ridiculous, but how else to describe the uncanny music of Al Spx, a pseudonym for a female Canadian singer-songwriter in London whose band is called Cold Specks? The Southern-doom ballads in I Predict a Graceful Expulsion are unlike anything else—though there are touchstones: Nina Simone, Nick Cave. “We fell from a dying tree,” Spx sings on “Winter Solstice.” “I have my God to give me my ghost.” When the song builds into a din like the beating of a mad creator’s heart, you’ll see why Specks deserve their own firmament. Best Indie-Rock: The Walkmen marched forward this year with an album, Heaven, even more divine than their previous disc (2010’s Lisbon). Singer Hamilton Leithauser’s tenor has developed into an indelibly emotional instrument and is the focus here. Whether acknowledging the vagaries of desire (“Love Is Luck”) or singing a lullaby to his infant daughter (“Song for Leigh”), Leithauser consistently eschews crass sentimentality in favor of elegant romanticism. You don’t have to be a dad to bask in this celestial effort. Best Folk-Pop: Gerard Love’s band Teenage Fanclub is adored for its stomping powerpop approach. With his band Lightships and its debut, Electric Cables, Love dials down the volume and cranks up the flute, glockenspiel and other assorted pastoral tones. The result is a collection of bittersweet tunes offering everything from a Velvet Underground morning of “The Warmth of the Sun” to the psychedelic blur of “Sweetness in Her Spark.”

TOP TEN Toxic Ranch Records’ top sales for the week ending Dec. 18, 2012 1. We Got Power! Hardcore Punk Scenes From 1980s Southern California (book) David Markey and Jordan Schwartz (Bazillion Points)

2. Inoculara/Godhunter Split 7” (self-released)

3. A Rule Is to Break: A Child’s Guide to Anarchy (book) John Seven and Jana Christy (Manic D)

4. Fish Karma/Al Perry American 7” (Sapient)

5. Ugly Things No. 34 Fall/Winter 2012 (magazine)

6. Saint Maybe Things as They Are (Fort Lowell)

7. Black Cat Bones Too Far Gone (self-released)

8. The Dicks Hate the Police 7” (1-2-3-4 Go!)

9. Ghost on the Highway: A Portrait of Jeffrey Lee Pierce and the Gun Club (DVD) French Fan Club

10. Cadillac Steakhouse Cadillac Steakhouse (self-released)

Fish Karma

SOUNDBITES CONTINUED from Page 47

PUB

AmoChip Dabney

4 8JMNPU t SERVICE INDUSTRY SPECIALS MEDICAL PERSONNEL SPECIALS

MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY

Dead Center; country diva LeeAnne Savage; country-rockers Chuck Wagon and the Wheelchairs; jack-of-all-genres Michael P.; and blues act the Bryan Dean Trio. The show begins early, at 5 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 30, and a donation of $5 gets you through the doors. A couple of days earlier, Congress will also play host to the Kool Shades End of the Year Reunion Show. In case youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a newbie to Tucson music, Kool Shades, who regularly performed a blend of reggae, rock and hip-hop around town until they went their separate ways, won the national John Lennon Songwriting Contest in 2007. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re reuniting this week to raise money for their friend Larry Dorame, who recently won his second battle with throat cancer. Also on the bill are Captain Squeegee, Steff Koeppen and the Articles, Indigo Kids, and Como Se DJ. The Kool Shades End of the Year Reunion Show begins at 9:30 p.m., Friday, Dec. 28. For more information about either of these benefits, go to hotelcongress.com, or call 622-8848. Multi-instrumentalist AmoChip Dabneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dance-party band The Amosphere will also be part of a food drive for the Community Food Bank of Southern Arizona at an 8:30 p.m. show on Saturday, Dec. 29, at Boondocks Lounge, 3306 N. First Ave. Admission is $5, or $4 with a nonperishable food donation. For details, head to boondockslounge.com, or call 690-0991.

ON THE BANDWAGON Eyes Set to Kill, A Fall to Break and Maid Misery at The Rock on Saturday, Dec. 29; The Tryst, Dylan Charles and Nowhere Man and a Whiskey Girl at Plush on Friday, Dec. 28; Ex-Cowboy and Alli Shepler at Tucson Live Music Space on Saturday, Dec. 29; Justin Martinez CD-release show with Spiders Can Fly at Plush, next Thursday, Jan. 3; Billy Sedlmayr at La Cocina on Wednesday, Jan. 2. Have a safe, happy and healthy new year, everyone!

SO LONG, JIMMY I began writing for the Tucson Weekly a very, very long time agoâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;more than 14 years ago, if we want to be a little more preciseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and in that time, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had four editors. There was a period where they came and went with such frequency that I became a little suspect of them. The relationship between editor and writer is a tricky one, with its share of headbutting, but at its root, it needs to be built on trust. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to build that trust when you get the feeling your new editor already has one foot out the door. Which is part of why, when Jimmy Boegle, whose last issue with the Weekly youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re reading right now, came on board, I thought heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d last

about a year. He was an out-of-towner, an ambitious guy who I figured was using the Weekly as a stepping-stone to the inevitable next gig. Well, a decade later, I can say, gladly, that I was wrong. Jimmyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been the bossman for so long now that most of the people who write for this paper have never known anyone different in that role. And I, for one, have a difficult time remembering what things were like before he took the position. What seemed like quirks when he first started have become the normâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;whether itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s his pet peeves in his editing style that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve catered to for so long that I now canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even remember what those quirks are, or the general personality quirks that we all have in one form or another. Those are also some of the things that, over time, have endeared him to me. Also: Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a great guy, a funny, whip-smart dude who has had his writersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; backs in just about every situation that has arisen (and believe me, in 10 years of editing an alt-weekly, a lot of situations will come up). I, along with most of the other music writers (a slackerish bunch), have tested his patience greatly over the years, and Jimmy was never shy about giving us a tonguelashing when we needed it. But I always truly got the sense that he was doing it not only to make his job a little less hectic, but also for the good of the paper. The editor position at the Weekly is one that requires an awful lot of strengths and fortitude, and Jimmy has carried it off with aplomb. Perhaps Jimmyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s greatest strength is that he was so successfully able to wear so many hats at once, and make it look fairly easy. Trust me, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not. Over the last decade, Jimmy has become a good friend, too, and heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the only editor Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had whom I can say that about. Several years ago, when I was in the hospital with an illness, he was one of the few people who came to visit me, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never forgotten that. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve known about his plan to start a paper in the Coachella Valley for at least a couple of years now, and selfishly, I always dreaded the day he actually decided to do it. Well, that day is here, and I wish him all the luck in the world. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an ambitious plan, but if anyone can pull it off, he can. While Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m bummed to have Jimmy leaving the paper and Tucson, I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be any more pleased about his replacement. Like Jimmy, new editor Dan Gibson is also a great guy, a funny, whip-smart dudeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just about where the similarities end. But, like Jimmy, Dan is incredibly passionate and excited about the job, and full of great ideas. While I know changes are comingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not very good with change, franklyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re changes Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m actually excited about. An infusion of new blood is a good thing, and I have no doubt Dan will kick much ass here. But that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean I wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss Jimmy, because I will. And I say to him, from the bottom of my heart: Thanks, dude.

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TuCsONWEEKLY

CLUB LIST Here is a list of venues that offer live music, dancing, DJ music, karaoke or comedy in the Tucson area. We recommend that you call and confirm all events. APPLEBEE’S ON GRANT 4625 E. Grant Road. 319-0544. APPLEBEES ON WETMORE 565 E. Wetmore Road. 292-2600. ARIZONA INN 2200 E. Elm St. 325-1541. ARMITAGE WINE LOUNGE AND CAFÉ 2905 E. Skyline Drive, No. 168. 682-9740. THE AULD DUBLINER 800 E. University Blvd. 206-0323. AZUL RESTAURANT LOUNGE Westin La Paloma, 3800 E. Sunrise Drive. 742-6000. THE BAMBOO CLUB 5870 E. Broadway Blvd., No. 524. 514-9665. THE BASHFUL BANDIT 3686 E. Speedway Blvd. 795-8996. BEAU BRUMMEL CLUB 1148 N. Main Ave. 622-9673. BEDROXX 4385 W. Ina Road. 744-7655. BEST WESTERN ROYAL SUN INN AND SUITES 1015 N. Stone Ave. 622-8871. BIG WILLY’S RESTAURANT AND SPORTS GRILL 1118 E. Sixth St. 882-2121. THE BISBEE ROYALE 94 Main St. Bisbee. (520) 432-6750. THE BONE-IN STEAKHOUSE 5400 S. Old Spanish Trail. 885-4600. BOONDOCKS LOUNGE 3306 N. First Ave. 690-0991. BRATS 5975 W. Western Way Circle. 578-0341. THE BREEZE PATIO BAR AND GRILL Radisson Suites. 6555 E. Speedway Blvd. 731-1414. BRODIE’S TAVERN 2449 N. Stone Ave. 622-0447. BUFFALO WILD WINGS 68 N. Harrison Road. 296-8409. BUMSTED’S 500 N. Fourth Ave. 622-1413. CAFÉ PASSÉ 415 N. Fourth Ave. 624-4411. CAFÉ ROKA 35 Main St. Bisbee. (520) 432-5153. THE CANYON’S CROWN RESTAURANT AND PUB 6958 E. Tanque Verde Road. 885-8277. CASA VICENTE RESTAURANTE ESPAÑOL 375 S. Stone Ave. 884-5253. CASCADE LOUNGE Loews Ventana Canyon Resort, 7000 N. Resort Drive. 615-5495. CASINO DEL SOL EVENT CENTER 5655 W. Valencia Road. (800) 344-9435. CHE’S LOUNGE 350 N. Fourth Ave. 623-2088. CHICAGO BAR 5954 E. Speedway Blvd. 748-8169. CHUY’S MESQUITE BROILER 22ND STREET 7101 E. 22nd St. 722-5117. CIRCLE S SALOON 16001 W. El Tiro Road. Marana. 682-5377. CLUB CONGRESS 311 E. Congress St. 622-8848. LA COCINA RESTAURANT, CANTINA AND COFFEE BAR 201 N. Court Ave. 622-0351. COLT’S TASTE OF TEXAS STEAKHOUSE 8310 N. Thornydale Road. 572-5968. COPPER QUEEN HOTEL 11 Howell Ave. Bisbee. (520) 432-2216. COW PALACE 28802 S. Nogales Highway. Amado. (520) 398-8000. COW PONY BAR AND GRILL 6510 E. Tanque Verde Road. 721-2781. CUSHING STREET RESTAURANT AND BAR 198 W. Cushing St. 622-7984. DAKOTA CAFE AND CATERING CO. 6541 E. Tanque Verde Road. 298-7188.

50 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

DELECTABLES RESTAURANT AND CATERING 533 N. Fourth Ave. 884-9289. THE DEPOT SPORTS BAR 3501 E. Fort Lowell Road. 795-8110. DESERT DIAMOND CASINO MONSOON NIGHTCLUB 7350 S. Nogales Highway. 294-7777. DESERT DIAMOND CASINO SPORTS BAR Interstate 19 and Pima Mine Road. 294-7777. DESERT DIAMOND ENTERTAINMENT CENTER 1100 W. Pima Mine Road. 294-7777. DIABLOS SPORTS BAR AND GRILL 2545 S. Craycroft Road. 514-9202. DON’S BAYOU CAJUN COOKIN’ 8991 E. Tanque Verde Road. 749-4410. DRIFTWOOD BAR 2001 S. Craycroft Road. 790-4317. EL CHARRO CAFÉ SAHUARITA 15920 S. Rancho Sahuarita. Sahuarita. 325-1922. EL CHARRO CAFÉ ON BROADWAY 6310 E. Broadway Blvd. 745-1922. EL MEZÓN DEL COBRE 2960 N. First Ave. 791-0977. EL PARADOR 2744 E. Broadway Blvd. 881-2744. ELBOW ROOM 1145 W. Prince Road. 690-1011. ELLIOTT’S ON CONGRESS 135 E. Congress St. 622-5500. FAMOUS SAM’S BROADWAY 1830 E. Broadway Blvd. 884-0119. FAMOUS SAM’S E. GOLF LINKS 7129 E. Golf Links Road. 296-1245. FAMOUS SAM’S SILVERBELL 2320 N. Silverbell Road. 884-7267. FAMOUS SAM’S VALENCIA 3010 W. Valencia Road. 883-8888. FAMOUS SAM’S W. RUTHRAUFF 2480 W. Ruthrauff Road. 292-0492. FAMOUS SAM’S IRVINGTON 2048 E. Irvington Road. 889-6007. FAMOUS SAM’S ORACLE 8058 N. Oracle Road. 531-9464. FAMOUS SAM’S PIMA 3933 E. Pima St. 323-1880. FOX AND HOUND SMOKEHOUSE AND TAVERN Foothills Mall, 7625 N. La Cholla Blvd. 575-1980. FOX TUCSON THEATRE 17 W. Congress St. 624-1515. FROG AND FIRKIN 874 E. University Blvd. 623-7507. LA FUENTE 1749 N. Oracle Road. 623-8659. FUKU SUSHI 940 E. University Blvd. 798-3858. GENTLE BEN’S BREWING COMPANY 865 E. University Blvd. 624-4177. GOLD Westward Look Resort, 245 E. Ina Road. 917-2930, ext. 474. THE GRILL AT QUAIL CREEK 1490 Quail Range Loop. Green Valley. 393-5806. GUADALAJARA GRILL EAST 750 N. Kolb Road. 296-1122. GUADALAJARA GRILL WEST 1220 E. Prince Road. 323-1022. HACIENDA DEL SOL 5601 N. Hacienda del Sol Road. 299-1501. HIDEOUT BAR AND GRILL 1110 S. Sherwood Village Drive. 751-2222. THE HIDEOUT 3000 S. Mission Road. 791-0515. HILDA’S SPORTS BAR 1120 Circulo Mercado. Rio Rico. (520) 281-9440. THE HOG PIT SMOKEHOUSE BAR AND GRILL 6910 E. Tanque Verde Road. 722-4302. HOTEL TUCSON CITY CENTER 475 N. Granada Ave. 623-2000. THE HUT 305 N. Fourth Ave. 623-3200. IBT’S 616 N. Fourth Ave. 882-3053. IGUANA CAFE 210 E. Congress St. 882-5140.

JASPER NEIGHBORHOOD RESTAURANT AND BAR 6370 N. Campbell Ave., No. 160. 577-0326. JAVELINA CANTINA 445 S. Alvernon Way. 881-4200, ext. 5373. JEFF’S PUB 112 S. Camino Seco Road. 886-1001. JW MARRIOTT STARR PASS RESORT AND SPA 3800 W. Starr Pass Blvd. 792-3500. KNOW WHERE II 1308 W. Glenn St. 623-3999. KON TIKI 4625 E. Broadway Blvd. 323-7193. LAFFS COMEDY CAFFÉ 2900 E. Broadway Blvd. 323-8669. LAS CAZUELITAS EVENT CENTER 1365 W. Grant Road. 206-0405. LI’L ABNER’S STEAKHOUSE 8500 N. Silverbell Road. 744-2800. LB SALOON 6925 E. Broadway Blvd. 886-8118. LOOKOUT BAR AND GRILLE AT WESTWARD LOOK RESORT 245 E. Ina Road. 297-1151. LOTUS GARDEN RESTAURANT 5975 E. Speedway Blvd. 298-3351. MARGARITA BAY 7415 E. 22nd St. 290-8977. MAVERICK 6622 E. Tanque Verde Road. 298-0430. MAYNARDS MARKET AND KITCHEN 400 N. Toole Ave. 545-0577. MCMAHON’S PRIME STEAKHOUSE 2959 N. Swan Road. 327-7463. MESCAL BAR AND GRILL 70 N. Cherokee Trail. Mescal. (520) 586-3905. MIDTOWN BAR AND GRILL 4915 E. Speedway Blvd. 327-2011. MINT COCKTAILS 3540 E. Grant Road. 881-9169. MONTEREY COURT STUDIO GALLERIES AND CAFÉ 505 W. Miracle Mile. 207-2429. MR. AN’S TEPPAN STEAK AND SUSHI 6091 N. Oracle Road. 797-0888. MR. HEAD’S ART GALLERY AND BAR 513 N. Fourth Ave. 792-2710. MUSIC BOX 6951 E. 22nd St. 747-1421. NEVADA SMITH’S 1175 W. Miracle Mile. 622-9064. NORTH 2995 E. Skyline Drive. 299-1600. O’MALLEY’S 247 N. Fourth Ave. 623-8600. OLD FATHER INN 4080 W. Ina Road. Marana. 744-1200. OLD PUEBLO GRILLE 60 N. Alvernon Way. 326-6000. ON A ROLL 63 E. Congress St. 622-7655. ORACLE INN 305 E. American Ave. Oracle. 896-3333. O’SHAUGHNESSY’S 2200 N. Camino Principal. 296-7464. OUTLAW SALOON 1302 W. Roger Road. 888-3910. PAPPY’S DINER 1300 W. Prince Road. 408-5262. THE PARISH 6453 N. Oracle Road. 797-1233. LA PARRILLA SUIZA 2720 N. Oracle Road. 624-4300. PEARSON’S PUB 1120 S. Wilmot Road. 747-2181. PLAYGROUND BAR AND LOUNGE 278 E. Congress St. 396-3691. PLUSH 340 E. Sixth St. 798-1298. PURGATORY 1310 S. Alvernon Way. 795-1996. PUTNEY’S 6090 N. Oracle Road. 575-1767. PY STEAKHOUSE 5655 W. Valencia Road, inside Casino del Sol. (800) 344-9435. RPM NIGHTCLUB 445 W. Wetmore Road. 869-6098. RA SUSHI BAR RESTAURANT 2905 E. Skyline Drive. 615-3970. RAGING SAGE COFFEE ROASTERS 2458 N. Campbell Ave. 320-5203. RIALTO THEATRE 318 E. Congress St. 740-1000.

RIC’S CAFE/RESTAURANT 5605 E. River Road. 577-7272. RILEY’S IRISH TAVERN 5140 N. La Cholla Blvd. 408-0507. RIVER’S EDGE LOUNGE 4635 N. Flowing Wells Road. 887-9027. RJ’S REPLAYS SPORTS PUB AND GRUB 5769 E. Speedway Blvd. 495-5136. THE ROCK 136 N. Park Ave. 629-9211. ROYAL SUN INN AND SUITES 1015 N. Stone Ave. 622-8871. RUNWAY BAR AND GRILL 2101 S. Alvernon Way. 790-6788. RUSTY’S FAMILY RESTAURANT AND SPORTS GRILLE 2075 W. Grant Road. 623-3363. SALTY DAWG II 6121 E. Broadway Blvd., No. 106. 790-3294. SAM HUGHES PLACE CHAMPIONSHIP DINING 446 N. Campbell Ave. 747-5223. SAPPHIRE LOUNGE 61 E. Congress St. 624-9100. SHERATON HOTEL AND SUITES 5151 E. Grant Road. 323-6262. SHOOTERS STEAKHOUSE AND SALOON 3115 E. Prince Road. 322-0779. SHOT IN THE DARK CAFÉ 121 E. Broadway Blvd. 882-5544. SILVER KING HOTEL 43 Brewery Ave. Bisbee. 432-3723. SINBAD’S FINE MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE 810 E. University Ave. 623-4010. SIR VEZA’S TACO GARAGE WETMORE 220 W. Wetmore Road. 888-8226. SKY BAR 536 N. Fourth Ave. 622-4300. THE SKYBOX RESTAURANT AND SPORTS BAR 5605 E. River Road. 529-7180. STADIUM GRILL 3682 W. Orange Grove Road. Marana. 877-8100. THE STATION PUB AND GRILL 8235 N. Silverbell Road. 789-7040. STOCKMEN’S LOUNGE 1368 W. Roger Road. 887-2529. SULLIVAN’S STEAK HOUSE 1785 E. River Road. 299-4275. SURLY WENCH PUB 424 N. Fourth Ave. 882-0009. TANQUE VERDE RANCH 14301 E. Speedway Blvd. 296-6275. TANQUE VERDE SWAP MEET 4100 S. Palo Verde Road. 294-4252. TERRY AND ZEKE’S 4603 E. Speedway Blvd. 325-3555. THIRSTY’S NEIGHBORHOOD GRILL 2422 N. Pantano Road. 885-6585. TRIDENT GRILL 2033 E. Speedway Blvd. 795-5755. TUCSON LIVE MUSIC SPACE 125 W. Ventura St. UNICORN SPORTS LOUNGE 8060 E. 22nd St., No. 118. 722-6900. V FINE THAI 9 E. Congress St. 882-8143. WHISKEY TANGO 140 S. Kolb Road. 344-8843. WILDCAT HOUSE 1801 N. Stone Ave. 622-1302. WINGS-PIZZA-N-THINGS 8838 E. Broadway Blvd. 722-9663. WISDOM’S CAFÉ 1931 E. Frontage Road. Tumacacori. 398-2397. WOODEN NICKEL 1908 S. Country Club Road. 323-8830. WOODY’S 3710 N. Oracle Road. 292-6702. WORLD FAMOUS GOLDEN NUGGET 2617 N. First Ave. 622-9202. ZEN ROCK 121 E. Congress St. 624-9100.

Due to the New Year’s holiday, some events listed here may not take place. We recommend that you call and confirm all events.

THU DEC 27 LIVE MUSIC Arizona Inn Bob Linesch The Bisbee Royale Beth Hart Boondocks Lounge The Queen Bees (Sabra Faulk, Mitzi Cowell and Heather Hardy) The Breeze Patio Bar and Grill Live music Café Passé Songwriter Thursday: Billy Sedlmayr, Gabriel Sullivan Casa Vicente Restaurante Español Live classical guitar Chicago Bar Neon Prophet Club Congress Hans Hutchison, Naim Amor La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar Stefan George Elliott’s on Congress The Kachina Speakeasy Review La Fuente Mariachi Estrellas de la Fuente Guadalajara Grill East Live mariachi music Guadalajara Grill West Live mariachi music Hacienda del Sol Aaron Gilmartin Hideout Bar and Grill The Gebbia/Barrett Acoustic Duo Jasper Neighborhood Restaurant and Bar The Holmes Levinson Group Las Cazuelitas Event Center Live music Maverick Jack Bishop Band McMahon’s Prime Steakhouse Lounge: Susan Artemis Monterey Court Studio Galleries and Café Jamie O’Brien and Henry Koretzky O’Malley’s Live music On a Roll Live music O’Shaughnessy’s Live pianist and singer Plush Al Perry RPM Nightclub 80’s and Gentlemen Sheraton Hotel and Suites Prime Example Sky Bar Fire Dust Sullivan’s Steak House Live music Whiskey Tango Live music

KARAOKE/OPEN MIC The Bamboo Club Karaoke with DJ Tony G Best Western Royal Sun Inn and Suites Y-Not Karaoke Buffalo Wild Wings Y-Not Karaoke Driftwood Bar El Charro Café Sahuarita Famous Sam’s Silverbell Amazing Star Karaoke Famous Sam’s Valencia Hilda’s Sports Bar The Hog Pit Smokehouse Bar and Grill Steve Morningwood acoustic open-mic night Jasper Neighborhood Restaurant and Bar Open mic with Bob Paluzzi Know Where II New Star Karaoke Margarita Bay Music Box Outlaw Saloon Chubbrock Entertainment Pappy’s Diner Open mic River’s Edge Lounge Karaoke with KJ David Royal Sun Inn and Suites Y Not Karaoke Stadium Grill Chubbrock Entertainment Thirsty’s Neighborhood Grill

DANCE/DJ Big Willy’s Restaurant and Sports Grill DJ Hurricane and Project Benny Blanco Diablos Sports Bar and Grill Bikini bash with DJ Mike Lopez Gentle Ben’s Brewing Company DJ spins music The Hideout Fiesta DJs The Hut DJ MGM Javelina Cantina DJ M. Mr. Head’s Art Gallery and Bar DJ Bonus Pearson’s Pub DJ Wild Wes RJ’s Replays Sports Pub and Grub DJ M. Sam Hughes Place Championship Dining DJ spins music Sapphire Lounge Salsa night

CONTINUED ON PAGE 52 If you would like your band, club or solo act to be listed, send all pertinent times, dates, prices and places to: Club Listings, Tucson Weekly, P.O. Box 27087, Tucson, AZ 85726. Fax listings to 792-2096. Or e-mail us at clubs@tucsonweekly.com. Deadline to receive listings information is noon on Friday, seven days before the Thursday publication date. For display advertising information, call 294-1200.

DECEMBER 27, 2012 – JANUARY 2, 2013

TuCsONWEEKLY

THU DEC 27

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 50

Sir Veza’s Taco Garage Wetmore DJ Riviera Surly Wench Pub Jump Jive Thursday with DJ Ribz Unicorn Sports Lounge Y Not Entertainment V Fine Thai Foundation Thursdays: DJs spin music, art show, wine tasting Zen Rock DJ Kidd Kutz

COMEDY Laffs Comedy Caffé Open mic

TRIVIA/PUB QUIZ Bumsted’s Geeks Who Drink The Canyon’s Crown Restaurant and Pub Geeks Who Drink Driftwood Bar Team Trivia

FRI DEC 28 LIVE MUSIC Arizona Inn Dennis Reed The Bamboo Club Live music The Bashful Bandit Live music Bedroxx DJ Du and the Cooper Meza Band Boondocks Lounge Neon Prophet Café Passé Tom Walbank, Roman Barten-Sherman Café Roka Nancy Weaver’s Jazz Trio Cascade Lounge Doug Martin Chicago Bar The AmoSphere Chuy’s Mesquite Broiler 22nd Street Bobby Wilson Club Congress Early show: Patti Zlaket. Late show: Kool Shades, Indigo Kids, Steff Koeppen, Como Se DJ La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar The Greg Morton Band Cow Palace Live music Dakota Cafe and Catering Co. John Ronstadt and Howard Wooten Delectables Restaurant and Catering Live music El Mezón del Cobre Mariachi Azteca El Parador Descarga, Salsarengue, Tito y Su Nuevo Son Famous Sam’s E. Golf Links Live music La Fuente Mariachi Estrellas de la Fuente Guadalajara Grill East Live mariachi music

Guadalajara Grill West Live Latin music Hacienda del Sol Freddy Vesely The Hideout Sol Down Hotel Tucson City Center The Bishop/Nelly Duo Jasper Neighborhood Restaurant and Bar Birks Works Las Cazuelitas Event Center Mariachis Li’l Abner’s Steakhouse Arizona Dance Hands Maverick Flipside McMahon’s Prime Steakhouse Lounge: Daniel “Sly” Slipetsky Mint Cocktails Live music Monterey Court Studio Galleries and Café Angel Diamond and the Blues Disciples Mr. An’s Teppan Steak and Sushi Edna and Ely with Malik Alkabir, Manny Brito Mr. Head’s Art Gallery and Bar Mothership Connection and Captain Antenna Old Father Inn Live music Oracle Inn Greg Spivey O’Shaughnessy’s Live pianist and singer The Parish Live music La Parrilla Suiza Mariachi music Plush Nowhere Man and a Whiskey Girl, Dylan Charles, The Tryst Ric’s Cafe/Restaurant Live music RJ’s Replays Sports Pub and Grub New Year’s Eve pre-bash: The Dig Ups Runway Bar and Grill Newtronn1project Shooters Steakhouse and Saloon Andy Hersey Shot in the Dark Café Mark Bockel The Skybox Restaurant and Sports Bar 80’s and Gentlemen Stadium Grill Live music Sullivan’s Steak House Live music Surly Wench Pub The Furies Tanque Verde Swap Meet Live music V Fine Thai Phony Bennett Whiskey Tango Live music Wisdom’s Café Amber Norgaard

KARAOKE/OPEN MIC Best Western Royal Sun Inn and Suites Y-Not Karaoke Brats Brodie’s Tavern Driftwood Bar Famous Sam’s W. Ruthrauff Famous Sam’s Pima Iguana Cafe Jeff’s Pub Kustom Karaoke Know Where II New Star Karaoke LB Saloon Karaoke with 1Phat DJ

Margarita Bay Midtown Bar and Grill Putney’s Karaoke with DJ Soup Riley’s Irish Tavern Chubbrock Entertainment Royal Sun Inn and Suites Y Not Karaoke Salty Dawg II Tucson’s Most Wanted Entertainment with KJ Sean Shooters Steakhouse and Saloon Stockmen’s Lounge Terry and Zeke’s Wings-Pizza-N-Things YNot Entertainment Woody’s

DANCE/DJ The Auld Dubliner DJ spins music Big Willy’s Restaurant and Sports Grill DJ Obi-Wan Kenobi Casa Vicente Restaurante Español Flamenco guitar and dance show Circle S Saloon DJ BarryB La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar Coming Out: A Queer Dance party: DJs Jaime J and Raw-B Delectables Restaurant and Catering After Dark: DJs Elektra Tek, Seth Myles, Resonate, Fix The Depot Sports Bar DJ and music videos Desert Diamond Casino Monsoon Nightclub Groovin’ Fridays Old School party Desert Diamond Casino Sports Bar Fiesta DJs: Latin/ Urban night Diablos Sports Bar and Grill DJ Mike Lopez El Charro Café Sahuarita DJ spins music El Charro Café on Broadway DJ spins R&B El Parador Salsa-dance lessons with Jeannie Tucker Famous Sam’s Valencia DJ spins music Fuku Sushi DJ spins music Javelina Cantina DJ M. Maynards Market and Kitchen DJ spins music Music Box ’80s and more NoRTH DJ Phatal O’Malley’s DJ Dibs Sam Hughes Place Championship Dining DJ spins music Sapphire Lounge Flashback Fridays with DJ Sid the Kid Sinbad’s Fine Mediterranean Cuisine DJ spins music Sky Bar Hot Era party, Elemental Artistry Fire-Dancing The Station Pub and Grill Chubbrock Entertainment Unicorn Sports Lounge Y Not Entertainment Wildcat House Top 40 dance mix Wooden Nickel DJ spins music Zen Rock DJ Kidd Kutz

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

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CALL (520) 294-1200 52 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

Alanna Thompson was raised in Sierra Vista and couldn’t wait to move to the big city of Tucson. She is a histology technician, which combines chemistry, art and the science of pathology to make beautiful microscopic images of flesheating bacteria, fungus and yucky cancers. She is the proud owner of three rambunctious mutts that needed a loving home. Kristine Peashock, mailbag@tucsonweekly.com

What was the first concert you ever saw? The 1998 Family Values Tour in Phoenix, with Korn headlining. What are you listening to these days? I started this morning out with Little Dragon, followed by Jay-Z and Kanye West, Watch the Throne. What was the first album you owned? Michael Jackson, Thriller. I watched the Michael Jackson’s Thriller video and the making of it incessantly. What artist, genre or musical trend does everyone seem to love, but you just don’t get? Gotye. I’m so over it. Can’t say I was ever into it, though.

Musically speaking, what is your favorite guilty pleasure? Lana Del Rey. I love her sexy, white-trash persona.

Use the websites listed on this page to visit some of Tucson’s local businesses online.

Allow our readers to visit your website, Facebook page or Twitter feed to see what you’ve got.

Alanna Thompson

What musical act, current or defunct, would you most like to see perform live? I wish I could have seen Nirvana live—particularly the In Utero world tour, where Melora Creager played cello.

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What song would you like to have played at your funeral? Boo to funerals. Get drunk, and play whatever makes you feel better. Either the Citizens of Halloween’s “This Is Halloween” from Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack (because how fun would it be to be a ghostie after you die and scare people?) or the Birthday Massacre, “In This Moment.” What band or artist changed your life, and how? So many artists of the ’90s were influential to me; it’s impossible to pick just one. Everything from Tori Amos and Ani DiFranco to Deftones and 2Pac. Figurative gun to your head, what is your favorite album of all time? Weezer’s “Blue Album.” “Undone—The Sweater Song” and “Say It Ain’t So” bring back memories of trying to have fun in a small town, but still staying out of trouble.

LIVE

FRI DEC 28

My Jerusalem

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COMEDY Laffs Comedy Caffé Scotty Blanco

SAT DEC 29 STEPHEN SEIGEL

LIVE MUSIC

MY JERUSALEM, CARLOS ARZATE AND THE KIND SOULS PLUSH Tuesday, Dec. 18 Although dreaded images of Grateful Dead spinoffs and/or knockoffs come to mind when the phrase “roots-rock” is uttered, My Jerusalem, along with Carlos Arzate and the Kind Souls, proved that the form has as many meanings as rock ’n’ roll itself. A local supergroup of sorts, Carlos Arzate and the Kind Souls played a brief set of acoustic guitar- and harmony-driven songs. Featuring members of American Android and the Tryst, among other Tucson bands, the focus here was on the vocal interplay between Arzate and his two female backup singers. Over rock, reggae and light funk rhythms, the three singers traded off ragged lines that were soulful and, at times, gospel-ish. Their voices sounded gorgeous together, and the basic template seemed to be that of early ’70s Rolling Stones, like “Let It Loose” from Exile on Main St. The lead guitarist, who sounded like one of Eric Clapton’s biggest fans, weaved his solos in and out from underneath the din of the harmonies. The Kind Souls were rootsy in the more traditional sense (i.e., blues and country music), but not so retro as to derail the formidable songwriting of Arzate. Coming from Austin, Texas, a hotbed for roots-rock, My Jerusalem pretty much shattered all preconceived notions of its meaning. They stretched their roots back to their very name, playing fire-and-brimstone noise that was loud, raggedy and elegant. It was refreshing to hear a current indie band that didn’t play garage/psychedelic rock, new wave or ’90s tribute music. Instead, My Jerusalem fashioned a distinctive sound from threads of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and PJ Harvey, among similar artists who put a stately spin on blues, distorted through a post-punk lens. The songs were stellar, and singer Jeff Klein’s booming baritone, simultaneously frightening and inviting, anchored the band, which included a multi-instrumentalist who impressively pulled off the feat of playing trumpet, trombone, synthesizer and electric guitar in the space of one song. Throughout the set, they displayed a sense of dignified restraint that put My Jerusalem into the league of a truly great band. Joshua Levine mailbag@tucsonweekly.com

Arizona Inn Dennis Reed The Bashful Bandit We Killed the Union The Bisbee Royale Noche de Cumbia with Vox Urbana The Bone-In Steakhouse Bobby Wilson Boondocks Lounge The AmoSphere Café Passé Country Saturdays Cascade Lounge George Howard Che’s Lounge Live music Chicago Bar Neon Prophet Colt’s Taste of Texas Steakhouse Live music Cow Pony Bar and Grill DJ spins music Cushing Street Restaurant and Bar Live music Dakota Cafe and Catering Co. Howard Wooten Delectables Restaurant and Catering Live music Desert Diamond Casino Monsoon Nightclub Los Centenarios Don’s Bayou Cajun Cookin’ Melody Louise El Charro Café Sahuarita Live salsa band El Mezón del Cobre Mariachi Azteca El Parador Descarga, Salsarengue, Tito y Su Nuevo Son Famous Sam’s E. Golf Links Live music La Fuente Mariachi Estrellas de la Fuente Gold Live music Guadalajara Grill East Live mariachi music Guadalajara Grill West Live Latin music Hacienda del Sol Freddy Vesely The Hideout Los Bandidos Jasper Neighborhood Restaurant and Bar The Paul Marin Trio Las Cazuelitas Event Center Mariachis Li’l Abner’s Steakhouse Arizona Dance Hands Lookout Bar and Grille at Westward Look Resort Live acoustic Maverick Flipside McMahon’s Prime Steakhouse Lounge: Daniel “Sly” Slipetsky Mint Cocktails Live music Monterey Court Studio Galleries and Café Hal Jackson, Rockers Uptown Mr. Head’s Art Gallery and Bar Live music O’Malley’s Live music Old Pueblo Grille Jazz Jam with Pete Swan Trio Oracle Inn Beau Renfro O’Shaughnessy’s Live pianist and singer La Parrilla Suiza Mariachi music Ric’s Cafe/Restaurant Live music The Rock Eyes Set to Kill, A Fall to Break, Maid Misery Sheraton Hotel and Suites Tucson Jazz Institute Sky Bar Live music The Skybox Restaurant and Sports Bar Live music Stadium Grill Live music Sullivan’s Steak House The Bishop/Nelly Duo Tanque Verde Ranch Live music Tanque Verde Swap Meet Live music Tucson Live Music Space Ex Cowboy, Alli Shepler Whiskey Tango Live music Wisdom’s Café Bill Manzanedo

Desert Diamond Casino Sports Bar Fiesta DJs: Country Tejano night Driftwood Bar ’90s R&B with DJ Qloud Nyne El Charro Café on Broadway DJ Soo Latin mix El Parador Salsa-dance lessons with Jeannie Tucker Famous Sam’s Valencia DJ spins music Gentle Ben’s Brewing Company DJ spins music Mescal Bar and Grill DJ Tomtom Music Box DJ Lluvia On a Roll DJ Aspen Pearson’s Pub DJ Wild Wes Rusty’s Family Restaurant and Sports Grille DJ Obi Wan Kenobi Sam Hughes Place Championship Dining DJ spins music Sapphire Lounge DJ 64, DJ Phil Sinbad’s Fine Mediterranean Cuisine Belly dancing with Emma Jeffries and friends Sir Veza’s Taco Garage Wetmore DJ Du Surly Wench Pub Fineline Revisted Wildcat House Tejano dance mix Wooden Nickel DJ spins music Zen Rock DJ Kidd Kutz

COMEDY Laffs Comedy Caffé Scotty Blanco

TRIVIA/PUB QUIZ Club Congress Retro Game show night: The $9.95 Pyramid

SUN DEC 30 LIVE MUSIC Arizona Inn Dennis Reed Armitage Wine Lounge and Café Ryanhood The Auld Dubliner Irish jam session Azul Restaurant Lounge Live piano music The Bashful Bandit Sunday Jam with the Deacon The Bisbee Royale Amy Ross, Dylan Charles, Danielle Panther, Derrick Ross Boondocks Lounge Kevin Pakulis and the Coyote Supper Club Chicago Bar Reggae Sundays Club Congress Community Food Bank benefit: Chuck Wagon and the Wheels, Michael P., LeeAnne Savage, Bryan Dean Trio, 8 Minutes to Burn, Top Dead Center La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar Catfish and Weezie Dakota Cafe and Catering Co. Howard Wooten Driftwood Bar Acoustic rock La Fuente Mariachi Estrellas de la Fuente Guadalajara Grill East Live mariachi music Guadalajara Grill West Live Latin music Hacienda del Sol Freddy Vesely Las Cazuelitas Event Center Live music Lotus Garden Restaurant Melody Louise McMahon’s Prime Steakhouse Lounge: David Prouty Old Pueblo Grille Jazz Jam with Pete Swan Trio O’Shaughnessy’s Live pianist and singer Raging Sage Coffee Roasters Paul Oman Shooters Steakhouse and Saloon Grams and Krieger, Ralph Gilmore Sullivan’s Steak House Howard and Loud Tucson Live Music Space I Am the Conqueror, For the Win, Forever We’re Forgotten, RadioDriveBy

KARAOKE/OPEN MIC

Best Western Royal Sun Inn and Suites Y-Not Karaoke Brats Circle S Saloon Karaoke with DJ BarryB The Depot Sports Bar Karaoke with DJ Brandon Elbow Room Famous Sam’s Silverbell Amazing Star Karaoke Famous Sam’s W. Ruthrauff Famous Sam’s Pima The Grill at Quail Creek IBT’s Amazing Star Entertainment Jeff’s Pub Kustom Karaoke Margarita Bay Mescal Bar and Grill Karaoke and open mic Midtown Bar and Grill Nevada Smith’s Old Father Inn Chubbrock Entertainment Royal Sun Inn and Suites Y Not Karaoke Stockmen’s Lounge Terry and Zeke’s

The Bashful Bandit Y-Not Karaoke Club Congress Club Karaoke Cow Pony Bar and Grill Diablos Sports Bar and Grill Elbow Room Open mic Famous Sam’s W. Ruthrauff Family karaoke The Hideout IBT’s Amazing Star Entertainment Margarita Bay Mint Cocktails Y Not Karaoke Pappy’s Diner Putney’s Karaoke with DJ Soup River’s Edge Lounge Karaoke with KJ David RJ’s Replays Sports Pub and Grub YNot Productions Karaoke Salty Dawg II Tucson’s Most Wanted Entertainment with KJ Sean Shooters Steakhouse and Saloon The Skybox Restaurant and Sports Bar Stockmen’s Lounge Whiskey Tango Wooden Nickel Woody’s World Famous Golden Nugget

DANCE/DJ The Auld Dubliner DJ spins music Bedroxx DJ spins music Brodie’s Tavern Latino Night Casa Vicente Restaurante Español Flamenco guitar and dance show La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar DJ Herm Desert Diamond Casino Monsoon Nightclub Noches Caliente

DANCE/DJ Kon Tiki DJ Century Outlaw Saloon Singing, Drumming DJ Bob Kay plays oldies

Ra Sushi Bar Restaurant DJs spin music Shot in the Dark Café DJ Artice Power Ballad Sundays

TRIVIA/PUB QUIZ Fox and Hound Smokehouse and Tavern Team Trivia with DJ Joker The Hut Geeks Who Drink

MON DEC 31 LIVE MUSIC Arizona Inn New Year’s Eve: Tucson Symphony Orchestra The Bisbee Royale New Year’s Eve: Buzz and the Soul Senders, Dylan Charles, The Border Crossers Boondocks Lounge New Year’s Eve: The Bryan Dean Trio, Mitzi and the Valiants Casino del Sol Event Center New Year’s Eve: Sensation Show Band Chicago Bar New Year’s Eve: Jahmar International Club Congress New Year’s Eve: Studio 54 bash: Live music and DJs Dakota Cafe and Catering Co. New Year’s Eve: John Ronstadt Desert Diamond Entertainment Center New Year’s Eve: Decades El Parador New Year’s Eve: Combo Unica Guadalajara Grill East Live mariachi music Guadalajara Grill West Live Latin music Hacienda del Sol New Year’s Eve: The Undercover Band JW Marriott Starr Pass Resort and Spa New Year’s Eve: Rick Braun Kon Tiki New Year’s Eve: Ernie Menehune Maverick New Year’s Eve: Flipside McMahon’s Prime Steakhouse Lounge: David Prouty Monterey Court Studio Galleries and Café New Year’s Eve: Baba Marimba Playground Bar and Lounge New Year’s Eve: One More Time (Daft Punk tribute) Plush New Year’s Eve: The Electric Blankets The Rock New Year’s Eve: Pigeon John All-ages bash: Sneaky Jay, Black One, Johnny Redd, Kylive and the Other Guy, Marley B., The Aces, DJ Kindaphresh, Indaphresh Silver King Hotel New Year’s Eve: Two Green Tomatoz (Nancy Weaver and Judy Perry) Sky Bar New Year’s Eve: R Cougar and DJs Sullivan’s Steak House Live music

KARAOKE/OPEN MIC The Auld Dubliner Margarita Bay Mr. Head’s Art Gallery and Bar Cut-Throat Karaoke Music Box O’Malley’s Purgatory River’s Edge Lounge Karaoke with KJ David Shooters Steakhouse and Saloon Whiskey Tango Wooden Nickel

DANCE/DJ Brodie’s Tavern New Year’s Eve: DJ Kravus Diablo’s Sports Bar and Grill New Year’s Eve: DJ Kino La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar New Year’s Eve: DJ Herm and friends IBT’s New Year’s Eve: DJ Mike Lopez Mescal Bar and Grill New Year’s Eve: DJ and karaoke Music Box New Year’s Eve: DJ AJ Rialto Theatre New Year’s Eve: ’80s and ’90s Video Dance Party RJ’s Replays Sports Pub and Grub New Year’s Eve: DJ and more Surly Wench Pub New Year’s Eve: DJ Matt McCoy Zen Rock New Year’s Eve: DJs Mastamonk, White Shadow, Super Mario

COMEDY Fox Tucson Theatre New Year’s Eve: Paula Poundstone Laffs Comedy Caffé New Year’s Eve: Scotty Blanco

TUE JAN 1 LIVE MUSIC Arizona Inn Bob Linesch Casa Vicente Restaurante Español Live classical guitar Chicago Bar Jive Bombers Guadalajara Grill East Live mariachi music Guadalajara Grill West Live mariachi music Hacienda del Sol Aaron Gilmartin Las Cazuelitas Event Center Live music

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DECEMBER 27, 2012 – JANUARY 2, 2013

TuCsONWEEKLY

TUE JAN 1

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Maverick Jack Bishop Band McMahon’s Prime Steakhouse Lounge: Susan Artemis Mr. Head’s Art Gallery and Bar The Jeff McKinney Band Sheraton Hotel and Suites Arizona Roadrunners Sky Bar Live jazz Stadium Grill Open jam Sullivan’s Steak House Live music Whiskey Tango Pozer

KARAOKE/OPEN MIC Beau Brummel Club Cactus Tune Entertainment with Fireman Bob Famous Sam’s W. Ruthrauff Jeff’s Pub Kustom Karaoke Margarita Bay Music Box Old Father Inn Chubbrock Entertainment Outlaw Saloon Chubbrock Entertainment Purgatory River’s Edge Lounge Karaoke with KJ David RJ’s Replays Sports Pub and Grub YNot Productions Karaoke Salty Dawg II Tucson’s Most Wanted Entertainment with KJ Sean Terry and Zeke’s Woody’s

DANCE/DJ Sam Hughes Place Championship Dining DJ spins music

TRIVIA/PUB QUIZ Applebees on Wetmore Team Trivia Club Congress Geeks Who Drink

Thirsty’s Neighborhood Grill Andy Hersey Whiskey Tango The Gebbia/Barrett Acoustic Duo hosts Acoustic Pro Jam/Songwriters’ Showcase

RHYTHM & VIEWS

KARAOKE/OPEN MIC

Ronstadt Generations y Los Tucsonenses

Philip Shiozaki

Clinic

Lightening of the Dark

Free Reign

Prelude

SELF-RELEASED

DOMINO

On his debut album, this experimental musician-composer uses only electric guitar and a bit of synthesizer to craft imaginative, impressionist watercolors of sound. Part of the appeal involves Shiozaki’s gentle, minimalist compositions, on which he explores hypnotic patterns and carefully paced structures. He inventively uses unusual guitar-tunings to recreate the sounds of a toy piano, a harpsichord, a bell— even percussion. The opening track, “Contemplating Quiescence,” sounds almost like a DayGlo lullaby, especially with its faux-naive guitar-plucking. A wiggly synth figure in the background can be both playful and enervating, creating an odd contrast that can be disorienting—in a pleasant way or otherwise, depending on your mood. The most unusual of Shiozaki’s sounds are the most attractive. His guitar strumming is generally pleasant, but the most-arresting element in “Part of a Revival” is the almost-anomalous siren sound. One could argue that Shiozaki’s music is alternately shoegazey and new-agey, but either appellation seems reductive. His active imagination, channeled through the looping and layering of atmospheric sounds, produces textures that may remind listeners of guitar-practitioners as varied as avant-garde composer Glenn Branca, Vini Reilly (of the Durutti Column), the late genius Snakefinger and the mighty Sonic Youth. This music may be too far off the beaten path for the mainstream listener, but Shiozaki shows much promise. Pick up the album at Sacred Machine at 245 E. Congress St., Suite 123. Gene Armstrong

Liverpool’s Clinic could never be accused of laziness. Since 2000’s Internal Wrangler, they have released an album every other year. Their rate of productivity has also been a source of criticism—specifically, that they always sound the same. (The fact that the band has always performed wearing surgical masks and scrubs doesn’t help.) However, this is both false and a bit unfair. Heavily influenced by ’60s psych/garage, ’70s Krautrock and British post-punk, Clinic’s sound is, by nature, limited to those parameters. However, listening to their back catalog reveals anything but a band simply repeating itself. While 2002’s Walking With Thee was heavy on the dubbed-up melodica, and 2008’s Do It! collected psych romp stomps, Free Reign dabbles with a more-experimental approach. The album’s title is a good description of the songs: It lets go of some of their familiar trappings, while retaining some of the best aspects of previous albums. Opener “Misty” comes about as close to Kid A territory as Clinic is ever likely to get, and it’s a refreshing start for anyone expecting a repeat of the straight-up pop of 2010’s Bubblegum. “Cosmic Radiation,” on the other hand, could easily be mistaken for an outtake from the last Flaming Lips album (besides sounding like the name of a Lips song). While drum machines and wah-wah pedal abound on “Miss You,” the clarinet on trippy album closer “Sun and the Moon” even contains a vague nod to the bridge of “I’m Only Sleeping” by their more-famous Liverpudlian forefathers. This is good stuff. Brian Mock

Brats Diablos Sports Bar and Grill Tequila DJ karaoke show Famous Sam’s Broadway Famous Sam’s W. Ruthrauff Famous Sam’s Irvington Famous Sam’s Oracle Chubbrock Entertainment Fox and Hound Smokehouse and Tavern Karaoke, dance music and music videos with DJ Tony G Frog and Firkin Sing’n with Scotty P. Hideout Bar and Grill Old Skool DJ, Karaoke with DJ Tigger Jeff’s Pub Kustom Karaoke Margarita Bay Mint Cocktails Y Not Karaoke Mooney’s Pub On a Roll Pappy’s Diner Open mic Pearson’s Pub Putney’s Karaoke with DJ Soup River’s Edge Lounge Karaoke with KJ David Shooters Steakhouse and Saloon Sky Bar Open mic Stadium Grill Chubbrock Entertainment

DANCE/DJ Big Willy’s Restaurant and Sports Grill DJ White Shadow Casa Vicente Restaurante Español Tango classes and dancing Driftwood Bar DJ spins dance music The Hideout Fiesta DJs RJ’s Replays Sports Pub and Grub Drew Cooper and Matthew Mezza Rusty’s Family Restaurant and Sports Grille Sid the Kid Sinbad’s Fine Mediterranean Cuisine DJ Spencer Thomas and friends

WED JAN 2

COMEDY

LIVE MUSIC

TRIVIA/PUB QUIZ

Arizona Inn Bob Linesch The Bamboo Club Melody Louise The Bisbee Royale Amy Ross Café Passé Glen Gross Quartet Chicago Bar Bad News Blues Band La Cocina Restaurant, Cantina and Coffee Bar Elephant Head, Billy Sadlmayr Copper Queen Hotel Nowhere Man and a Whiskey Girl, Amy Ross Guadalajara Grill East Live mariachi music Guadalajara Grill West Live Latin music Hacienda del Sol Aaron Gilmartin Las Cazuelitas Event Center Live music Maverick Jack Bishop Band McMahon’s Prime Steakhouse Lounge: Susan Artemis O’Shaughnessy’s Live pianist and singer PY Steakhouse Angel Perez Raging Sage Coffee Roasters Paul Oman Shot in the Dark Café Open mic Sullivan’s Steak House Live music Tanque Verde Ranch Live music

Applebee’s on Grant Team Trivia Jasper Neighborhood Restaurant and Bar Geeks Who Drink Trident Grill Geeks Who Drink

Mr. Head’s Art Gallery and Bar Comedy night

Find more @ .com

New Years Eve 6PM Party! Get a head start with Early Celebration Hats, Noisemakers & Champagne at 6pm. We Will Close At 7PM For Your Safety

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RONSTADT RECORD CO.

Longtime Tucsonans know that music is only a part of the Ronstadt family business, right up there with hardware and public service. At the same time, there must be a responsibility inherent in maintaining the family brand to be interesting as well as good. By these standards, this album is an off-the-charts success. Prelude has it all—songs that are tuneful and engaging, with expert and precise instrumentation (be it from the family core or the backing band, Los Tucsonenses), diversity, and terrific vocals and harmonies throughout. It’s more than a mere collection of strong material. There is also artfulness in the way each song has been crafted, arranged and even selected for presentation. While the first cut, “Prelude to a Highlife,” opens with crisp guitars reminiscent of the Beatles’ “All Together Now,” Michael G. Ronstadt quickly takes things in a different direction with a bigtime cello solo. A cover of Jimmie Rodgers’ “California Blues” then brings Los Tucsonenses more into play, Alex Flores on sax in particular. The sound continues to expand on a cover of Stephen Stills’ “For What It’s Worth,” distinguished by strong vocals and an original acoustic-guitar lick. They don’t hit full stride, however, until the band pulls back a bit with “The Mill of Oracle,” “Malagueña Salerosa” and “Will You Fade,” all of which contain elements of traditional and newly defined contemporary folk. They’re Ronstadts. What else would you expect? Jim Lipson Ronstadt Generations play at 9:30 p.m., every Monday, at Chicago Bar, 5954 E. Speedway Blvd.; free; 748-8169.

MEDICAL MJ J.M.’s question: Should he come out of the closet to his mom as a pot-smoker?

Shame and Mary Jane BY J.M. SMITH, jsmith@tucsonweekly.com hen I was 17, I flunked out of high school. It wasn’t a slow descent into failure, as it is with a lot of kids. It was an abrupt, spectacular, fail-every-class-my-senior-year crash into the deck. Despite the darkest, mostfervent efforts of my subconscious, I almost made it anyway, barely falling short of a D in biology. I missed graduation by one credit. For the next 10 years, I lied about it. In fact, some of my oldest friends, the ones who were there when it happened, probably still don’t know, because I lied about why I wasn’t at graduation. I told people I was banned from the ceremony for skipping school, a feasible explanation, since all my friends knew I had skipped literally almost half of my last semester. I told that story for a solid decade. I eventually got past the shame, and now I couldn’t care less who knows about it. Yet to this day, my mom still doesn’t know I smoke pot. It’s a festering wound on my psyche, a sometimes annoying but mostly unimportant fact that lingers around the fringes of my personal and professional life, sparking some fear and guilt and shame where there should be none. I’m not the only one walking around under this cannabis cloud, and it isn’t the first time I’ve written about it. Since I mentioned it last year, I’ve talked at length to some completely, utterly legit folks who are involved in the medical-cannabis industry—but they won’t talk on the record. I’ve talked to a surgeon in the biz—won’t let me turn on the recorder. I’ve talked to a politician with ties to the biz—nope. No notes, please. I’ve talked to a cannabis medical researcher who won’t do patient certifications because of fear that colleagues would no longer take her seriously. Shame sucks in ways that kill people, or at the very least sometimes make them miserable. Just ask a few gay folks. I had a friend

some years ago who was from rural Oklahoma, probably one of the harshest places in America to be a gay man. His parents, racked with fear and shame and guilt, tried numerous draconian measures to cure him. His father beat him mercilessly while his mother watched, failing horribly to make a Real Man out of him. His parents eventually agreed to commit him to a mental institution, which he promptly left at age 18 to head for more gayfriendly San Francisco, then Tucson, where he lived somewhat disjointedly ever after, especially where relationships are concerned. I’m not trying to equate secretive cannabis use to being a closeted gay man in rural Oklahoma. Clearly, there is little comparison, but there is some. The same emotions are involved; it’s all fear and guilt and shame. It’s all about secondguessing what other people think about you, despite the fact that what they think about you is none of your business. The scope of things is changing, people. We need voices like that peanut farmer who recently spoke out for legalization. Um, having a former and much-beloved former president of the United States of America on our side should help coax some of us out of the closet. But will it? Dunno. So as I sit here staring at my computer screen, I wonder if it’s time to come out of the closet to my mom, to lift the veil and cast off some shame and guilt of my secret cannabis life. I’m actually a pretty decent guy, despite my persistent railing and flailing and occasional tilting at windmills. I am a relatively well-respected, upstanding member of the community, a well-groomed, well-educated individual who contributes in numerous ways to the greater good. But I’m afraid to tell my mom I smoke pot. Sigh.

Medical Marijuana Evaluations $99 Dr. Heather Moroso NMD morosomedicalcenter.com Naturopathy - Acupuncture Medical Marijuana Evaluations

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DECEMBER 27, 2012 – JANUARY 2, 2013

TuCsONWEEKLY

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY By Rob Brezsny. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 $1.99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone required. ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the sci-fi film trilogy The Matrix, the heroes are able to instantaneously acquire certain complex skills via software that’s downloaded directly into their brains. In this way, the female hacker named Trinity masters the art of piloting a military M-109 helicopter in just a few minutes. If you could choose a few downloads like that, Aries, what would they be? This isn’t just a rhetorical question meant for your amusement. In 2013, I expect that your educational capacity will be exceptional. While you may not be able to add new skills as easily as Trinity, you’ll be pretty fast and efficient. So what do you want to learn? Choose wisely. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Are you familiar with the fable of the golden goose? The farmer who owned it became impatient because it laid only one gold egg per day. So he killed it, thinking he would thereby get the big chunk of gold that must be inside its body. Alas, his theory was mistaken: There was no chunk. From then on, of course, he no longer got his modest daily treasure. I nominate this fable to be one of your top teaching stories of 2013. As long as you’re content with a slow, steady rate of enrichment, you’ll be successful. Pushing extra hard to expedite the flow might lead to problems. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Here are some of the experiences I hope to help you harvest in the coming year: growing pains that are interesting and invigorating rather than stressful; future shock that feels like a fun joyride rather than a bumpy rumble; two totally new and original ways to get excited; a good reason to have faith in a dream that has previously been improbable; a fresh supply of Innocent CrazyWise Love Truth; and access to all the borogoves, mome raths and slithy toves you could ever want. CANCER (June 21-July 22): In her gallery show Actuality, Reminiscence, and Fabrication, artist Deborah Sullivan includes a piece called “Penance 1962.” It consists of a series of handwritten statements that repeat a central theme: “I must not look at boys during prayer.” I’m assuming it’s based on her memory of being in church or Catholic school when she was a teenager. You probably have an

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analogous rule lodged somewhere in the depths of your unconscious mind—an outmoded prohibition or taboo that may still be subtly corroding your life energy. The coming year will be an excellent time to banish that ancient nonsense for good. If you were Deborah Sullivan, I’d advise you to fill a whole notebook page with the corrected assertion: “It’s OK to look at boys during prayer.” LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): For years, the gravestone of Irish dramatist Oscar Wilde was covered with kiss-shaped lipstick marks that were left by his admirers. Unfortunately, Wilde’s descendants decided to scour away all of those blessings and erect a glass wall around the tomb to prevent further displays of affection. In my astrological opinion, Leo, you should favor the former style of behavior over the latter in 2013. In other words, don’t focus on keeping things neat and clean and wellordered. On the contrary: Be extravagant and uninhibited in expressing your love for the influences that inspire you—even at the risk of being a bit unruly or messy. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 2013, I hope to conspire with you to raise your levels of righteous success. If you’re a struggling songwriter, I’ll be pushing for you to get your music out to more people— without sacrificing your artistic integrity. If you’re a kindergarten teacher, I’ll prompt you to fine-tune and deepen the benevolent influence you have on your students. If you’re a business-owner, I’ll urge you to ensure that the product or service you offer is a well-honed gift to those who use it. As I trust you can see, Virgo, I’m implying that impeccable ethics will be crucial to your ascent in the coming year. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): After Libran poet Wallace Stevens won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry in 1955, Harvard University offered him a job as a full professor. But he turned it down. He couldn’t bear leaving his day job as the vice-president of an insurance company in Hartford, Conn. I suspect that in the first half of 2013, you will come to a fork in the road that may feel something like Stevens’ quandary. Should you stick with what you know, or should you head off in the direction of more intense and unpredictable stimulation? I’m not here to tell

you which is the better choice; I simply want to make sure you clearly identify the nature of the decision. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 2013, I will try to help you retool, reinvent and reinvigorate yourself in every way that’s important to you. I will encourage you to reawaken one of your sleeping aptitudes, recapture a lost treasure and reanimate a dream you’ve neglected. If you’re smart, Scorpio, you will reallocate resources that got misdirected or wasted. And I hope you will reapply for a privilege or position you were previously denied, because I bet you’ll win it this time around. Here are your words of power for the year ahead: resurrection and redemption. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Based on experiments at the Large Hadron Collider, a team of physicists in France and Switzerland announced last July that they had tentatively discovered the Higgs boson, which is colloquially known as the “God particle.” What’s all the fuss? In her San Francisco Chronicle column, Leah Garchik quoted an expert who sought to explain: “The Higgs boson is the WD-40

and duct tape of the universe, all rolled into one.” Is there a metaphorical equivalent of such a glorious and fundamental thing in your life, Sagittarius? If not, I predict you will find it in 2013. If there already is, I expect you will locate and start using its 2.0 version. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In 2013, I pledge to help you bring only the highest-quality influences and selfresponsible people into your life. Together, we will work to dispel any unconscious attraction you might have to demoralizing chaos or pathological melodrama. We will furthermore strive to ensure that as you deepen and fine-tune your self-discipline, it will not be motivated by self-denial or obsessive control-freak tendencies. Rather, it will be an act of love that you engage in so as to intensify your ability to express yourself freely and beautifully. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Genius is the ability to renew one’s emotions in daily experience,” said French painter Paul Cézanne. What do you think he meant by that? Here’s one interpretation: Many of us replay the same old emotions over and

over again—even in response to experiences that are nothing like the past events when we felt those exact feelings. So a genius might be someone who generates a fresh emotion for each new adventure. Here’s another possible interpretation of Cézanne’s remark: It can be hard to get excited about continually repeating the basic tasks of our regular routines day after day. But a genius might be someone who is good at doing just that. I think that by both of these definitions, 2013 could be a genius year for you Aquarians. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Home is not just the building where you live. It’s more than the community that gives you support and the patch of earth that comforts you with its familiarity. Home is any place where you’re free to be your authentic self; it’s any power spot where you can think your own thoughts and see with your own eyes. I hope and trust that in 2013, you will put yourself in position to experience this state of mind as often as possible. Do you have any ideas about how to do that? Brainstorm about it on a regular basis for the next six months.

¡ASK A MEXICAN! BY GUSTAVO ARELLANO, themexican@askamexican.net Dear Mexican: Longtime reader, first-time writer. I need some advice. My wife (who’s a halfMexican Los Angeles native, just so you don’t think we’re a couple of white hipster dickheads) and myself (who’s white, but an immigrant, so I hope that lowers my dickhead factor a little) have had it up to our orejas with our Hispanic neighbor’s music. He plays it so loud that being in our living room is like being in a bass bin filled with tubas. I have asked him directly (at 11 p.m. on a Sunday) to turn it down, which he did, but now every time he sees us come home, he either starts it up, or cranks it up if it’s already playing. The thing is, he’s not having a fiesta. Ever. He’s a sad little man sitting all alone in his garage, getting drunk and scrolling through his iTunes. I don’t want to hate this sad, little man, but it’s getting out of hand. Our Mexican friend informed us that the music he was playing was El Salvadorian and “really ghetto.” I’m not sure of the genre or origin myself, but it sounds like banda and cumbia made with a cheap Casio, packaged with low-res artwork and possibly sold at truck stops. See how depressing this is getting? If I were to blare the traditional music of my homeland at earsplitting volume every night, people would be burning effigies of Rush on my doorstep without blinking an eye. I don’t want or need silence. I love music. I’m a musician myself. I just want to be able to have a drink and a smoke with my wife in our yard without having to yell over top of his music. Can you suggest a good approach to get him to turn it down? Call the cops? I’d rather not. Fight fire with fire? I have access to a PA system that could bury the whole block, but I’m not that guy. He’s that guy. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

and cumbia, even though the former is a genre, while the latter is a rhythm, and then you speculate that the music is piratería—as if that’s somehow shameful. Then you top it oﬀ by name-dropping Rush—pinche pendejo gentrifying hipster! Despite all these sins, I do feel for you. Your vecino is an asshole, especially after you’ve asked him politely before to turn the volume down, and he now cranks it up as a chinga tu madre to ustedes. Calling the cops is a waste of everyone’s tiempo, and I’m tempted to tell you to learn how to conduct conversations at ear-splitting volumes like any good Mexican. (Ask your wife.) But, still: You asked nicely, and the neighbor’s a dick. So do what any Mexican once spurned would do: Call la migra.

Not That Guy Dear Hoser: You say you’re not a pendejo hipster, but then you prove yourself otherwise. Trotting out your half-Mexi wife as proof that you’re not racist is the ﬁrst indicator (don’t you know that Mexicans are the biggest racists against Mexicans?), and then you say your tormenter listens to “El Salvadorian” music, a genre that must exist alongside “Britishtarian” at your local record store. Despite being a musician, you can’t distinguish between banda

Dear Readers: As usual, gracias again for a wonderful 2012. Without your eternal love, hate and purchases of my books, I’d be just another Mexican working in an industry that’s going the way of the Olmecs. Feliz Año Year, and to a chingón 2013! Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican. net; be his fan on Facebook; follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano; or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

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I just started an intense relationship with a guy who has a boyfriend. This guy and I love each other. However, he is uncomfortable with me meeting his boyfriend. I’ve asked if it’s OK that we’re fucking, and he said they’re in an open relationship, so it’s OK. I asked if it’s OK that we’re in love, and he said yes. So why the secrecy? My lover’s only explanation is that his boyfriend doesn’t want to know about the guys he fucks around with. The whole situation is starting to make me uneasy. I can’t figure out why I want to know more about his boyfriend. Is it so I can verify that he’s not cheating? Or that jealousy is an issue for them, and that’s why I can’t meet him? I do know that I wish my lover would be more open with me. Should I just relax? The Other Person

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Monogamous couples have one rule about fucking other people—“don’t fuck other people”—but nonmonogamous couples have all sorts of different rules, TOP, and sometimes a particular couple’s particular rules make it hard for a third to verify that the partnered person he’s sleeping with is, in fact, in an honest and healthy open relationship. That said, most couples with a “don’t want to know about the other people you’re fucking” rule—and that’s a pretty common rule—also have a rule against getting emotionally involved with the other people they’re fucking. So if it’s against the rules for the guy you’re seeing to introduce his boy-on-the-side to his boyfriend, TOP, odds are good that swapping “I love yous” with his boy-on-the-side is against the rules, too. Someone is being lied to here: Either this guy is lying to you about being in an open relationship, or he’s lying to his boyfriend about not getting emotionally involved with the other guys he fucks. Whichever it is, TOP, I don’t see a future for you with this guy—or much of a future for him and his boyfriend, frankly. But to answer your question: No, TOP, don’t relax. DTMFA. I’m a feminine, submissive dyke. My girlfriend is absolutely amazing, and our sex life is awesome and really kinky. The problem is two of my friends. I’ve formed a pretty tight trio with two hot, funny tops. I’ve got tiny, manageable crushes on them both. My girlfriend knows, but she’s secure enough in our relationship that she isn’t bothered by it. The problem? My friends are fucking each other. They’re also in happy open relationships with other women. Sounds great, right? Even though they’re great friends most of the time, they definitely leave me feeling like the third wheel once in a while. How can I gently remind them that, even though they’re not sleeping with me, I’d like a little more platonic attention friendship-wise? Satisfied Under Butches I suppose you could sit your friends down and say, “Hey, when you two move out of your friends-in-open-relationships-with-benefits honeymoon phase, I could use a little more friendswithout-benefits attention.” But there’s almost no way to say that without coming across like a jealous, controlling bag of dykenuts, SUB. So I would urge you to hang back and trust that this honeymoon phase, like all honeymoon phases, will eventually pass, and these two friends will have more time for you in the future. In the meantime, fuck your girlfriend lots, and hang out with other friends. And remember: When you’re feeling like the third wheel, SUB, it’s because you’re probably functioning as the third wheel. While first and second wheels can make an effort to prevent thirds from feeling like the thirds they are, thirds who make a decision to roll elsewhere generally wind up feeling better.

You are so fun! My hubby is 62, and I am 52. We are empty-nesters now, and we love it! We are experimenting sexually, but my blowjobs don’t do it for him. I’ve watched videos, read articles and finally bought some flavored lube. He loves having his balls licked while I jerk him off. But what can I do about my blowjobs?!? Any advice would be great! Ho Ho Ho My advice: Lick your hubby’s balls while you jerk him off. Your husband either can’t get off from a blowjob alone—and there are men out there who can’t—or your blowjobs just don’t do it for him. In the interest of marital harmony, HHH, let’s give your blowjobs the benefit of the doubt, and assume that your husband is one of those guys who can’t be gotten off by a blowjob alone. If you love sucking dick, and your blowjobs are in no way traumatizing—if they don’t leave your husband curled up on the floor sobbing—then go ahead and blow your husband. Telling him the blowjobs are for you, HHH, will take the pressure off him and—who knows?—he may relax and enjoy the blowjob more. He might even get off. Bonus pro tip: You know that flavored lubes don’t do anything for the person being blown, right? They’re for people who don’t like the taste of dick, HHH, and it doesn’t sound like you’re one of those people. Until they come out with Chord Overstreet–flavored or Cheyenne Jackson–flavored lube, there’s no reason you should be slathering your hubby’s dick with artificial flavorings and aspartame. I’m a Canadian 25-year-old gay man in a fouryear relationship with a 22-year-old. Over the course of our relationship, we’ve explored each other’s kinks and have been very understanding and GGG. The sex is amazing and varied. The problem: He has this fantasy that I’m having trouble pulling off. He wants me to piss in his ass. But peeing while erect is not my forte. I’ve tried, but I have to concentrate on peeing to actually go, and that just resulted in my going soft while I was inside him. By the time the urine was actually flowing, my dick was so soft that his sphincter was actually pinching my urethra closed, making it impossible for me to pee. He hasn’t bottomed in a couple of years, since I realized how much I love it, so I’m assuming his tightness isn’t helping. I just can’t think of what more I can do to fulfill this fantasy for him. Do I need to just learn how to pee while erect, or is there an easier way? I’m stumped and worried I won’t be able to make this happen for him. Dripping Out Urine Confounds His Enema I’m going to assume that you two are in a committed relationship, that you’ve both been tested and have either no STIs or the same STIs, that neither of you is having unprotected sex with anyone else, that you rarely eat asparagus or beets, that you don’t plan on doing this in front of your pets, etc. OK, DOUCHE, I feel like Santa Claus right now, because I have the perfect toy to put under your tree. (Your tree is still up, right?) Go to forttroff.com; click “Enter”; search “ass tunnel”; then watch the video demo. It’s an after-Christmas miracle. (For the idiots in my readership, that link is NSFW. And, yes, I’m assuming DOUCHE and his BF celebrate Christmas. But only because all the piss-in-assers I’ve ever known were homeschooled Liberty University graduates.) Happy holidays, everybody! Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage, and follow me @fakedansavage on Twitter!

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Artful Dodgers The head of the Perse School in Cambridge, England, recently instituted a “10-Second Rule” for minor disciplinary infractions: Students could avoid punishment if they quickly produced a clever explanation for their misbehavior. “Getting children to talk their way out of a tight corner in a very short period of time” said Ed Elliott, encourages creativity and could produce a generation of British entrepreneurs. Said a supporter, “Often, the ones who get further are the artful dodgers,” who “bend the truth.” (Elliott warned, though, that “out-and-out falseness” would not be tolerated.) Can’t Possibly Be True • Family values: (1) A Tampa, Fla., mother and daughter (ages 56 and 22, with their familial ties verified by a Huffington Post reporter), shoot scenes together for their pornography website (“The Sexxxtons”), including threesomes with a man, but the women insist that they never incestuously touch each other. (2) Tiffany Hartford, 23, and George Sayers Jr., 48, were charged in Bethel, Conn., in December with selling unauthorized videos of Hartford having sex with another woman. That other woman charged, and a DNA test confirmed, that Sayers is Hartford’s father, and that the two have a baby (although both deny knowing they were father-daughter at the time they had sex). • Sheriff’s officials in Deerfield Beach, Fla., arrested nine people in October and charged them in connection with a betting ring that set point spreads and took bets, not only on pro and college games, but on kids’ games of the South Florida Youth Football League. Some 6,000 children play in the 22-team association. • Too silly to be true: (1) Police in Geraldton, Australia, reported in November that they had captured a thief they were chasing in the dark through a neighborhood’s backyards. As the thief came to a fence and leaped over it, he happened to land on a family’s trampoline and was propelled backward, practically into cops’ laps. (2) Guy Black, 76, was charged in Turbotville, Pa., in October with threatening housemate Ronald Tanner with a chainsaw. Tanner, defending himself with the only “weapon” within reach—an umbrella—managed to pin Black with it as the chainsaw jammed. Incredible • Deputy NYPD Commissioner Paul Browne told reporters in November that, in the 24 hours of Monday, Nov. 26, not a single criminal shooting, stabbing or slashing was reported in the five boroughs. Browne said no police official could remember such a day, ever. (The city is on track to finish 2012 with fewer than 400 homicides—compared to the record year of 1990, when 2,245 people were murdered.) • “Braco,” a Croatian-born “healer” (although he rejects the term), seems to make legions of sick or troubled believers feel better merely by entering a room and gazing at them 62 WWW.TuCsON WEEKLY.COM

in silence for a few minutes before leaving. (A Washington Post reporter, seeking relief from his allergies, attended a 100-person session in Alexandria, Va., in October, but found no improvement.) “Whatever is flowing through him,” said one transfixed fan, “is able to connect with a part of us.” Said another enthusiast, “The thing that makes Braco unique is he really doesn’t do anything.” Unclear on the Concept • In October, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals petitioned Irvine, Calif., to create a roadside memorial for the truckload of live fish that had perished in a recent traffic accident. (After all, fish, like humans, use tools, tell time, sing and have long-term memories, wrote PETA.) On the other hand, the traffic casualties that day were en route to the Irvine Ranch Market to be sold as food. • The governing council of Brentwood, England, professes a “reputation as one of the most transparent” in the country, but in November, responding to a Freedom of Information request for documents on a government contract, it merely released 425 totally blackened (“redacted”) pages. The official explanation was that all of the papers concerning construction of a movie theater were deemed “commercially sensitive” and “not in the public interest.” (Following an outcry, the council re-thought the FOI request and disclosed “considerably more information,” according to the Daily Telegraph.) Michigan Egos on Parade (1) Detroit Police Chief Ralph Godbee was suspended in October after an affair with a subordinate became public. Godbee’s predecessor had been fired for the same reason (among other reasons), and, in fact, Godbee had previously had an affair with the same subordinate who had been implicated with his predecessor. (2) The former mayor of Flint, Don Williamson, who resigned in 2009 while being targeted in a recall election, recently erected a large bronze statue of himself outside his home in Davison Township. (3) In June, former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, having served 99 days in jail on obstruction-of-justice charges, and still awaiting a federal corruption trial, asked Michigan prison officials to relieve him of “community service” parole obligations—because he had a number of paid speeches scheduled out of town. Perspective • Shortly after drug-possession suspect Patrick Townsend, 30, was arrested in Lakeland, Fla., in November and had allegedly confessed into a detective’s digital recorder, Townsend managed to snatch the unattended recorder from a table, took a restroom break and flushed it down the toilet. Townsend’s subsequent advice to the detective: “Tighten up on your job, homie.” (“Destroying evidence” was added to Townsend’s charges.)

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Massage (Unlicensed)

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27 It may have an arch or a lintel 30 What buoys do 33 Battery terminal 36 Course that you waltz through 37 It gives a hoot 38 Formidable opponents 40 Nightfall, in poetry 41 ___ Ste. Marie 43 Baker who sang “Giving You the Best That I Got” 44 “___ not what your country …” 45 Brahma, in Hinduism 47 PC’s brain 49 The Bible, e.g. 50 City that’s home to the winner of the first two Super Bowls 55 Pod contents 57 Catcher’s position

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE A C N E

C O A X

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H O S T

A R E A

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A S A F A D E S H Y

S I D E K N E L A N N I A I D U M M E G E L O C A I N A L L S A Y E N R E D D I P R I N O R C Z E A

S T E E R L E T S E G A L

59 Ontario tribe 60 Dartmouth or Brown 61 Some Winslow Homer art … or what five answers in this puzzle are? 63 Prefix with natal 64 Sambuca flavoring 65 Tighten, as laces 66 Wildebeest 67 Reasons for braces 68 Hearth waste Down 1 Color of honey 2 Cherish 3 Virtual holiday greeting 4 3 minutes 43 seconds for running a mile, e.g. 5 “Ba-a-ad!” 6 Harshness 7 “Like ___ not …” 8 Start of a cry by Juliet 9 Start of the end of a countdown 10 It’s between Korea and China 11 Name on a map of Uzbekistan or Kazakhstan 12 Like some crayons 14 Swim meet assignment 17 James of the Met 21 Taj Mahal site 23 “Count me in!” 25 Loses it altogether 27 Arnaz of “I Love Lucy”

13 17

36 39

21 24

Puzzle by John Dunn

28 Affirmatives 29 Bronx Bomber 30 Pear variety 31 Man ___ (A.P.’s Horse of the Century) 32 Linda Ronstadt hit co-written by Roy Orbison 34 “ER” actor Epps 35 Room with few or no windows

39 “Blah, blah, blah …” 42 Neighbor of Thailand 46 ___ Baiul, 1994 Winter Olympics gold medalist 48 Fester and Remus 50 Take a stab 51 Hard to come by

52 Very thin soup 53 Eagle’s nest 54 Affirmatives 55 Radar sound 56 Deadlocked 58 Stick in a medicine cabinet 61 Joker 62 ___ pro nobis (pray for us: Lat.)

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.49 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. AT&T users: Text NYTX to 386 to download puzzles, or visit nytimes.com/mobilexword for more information. Online subscriptions: Today’s puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($39.95 a year). Share tips: nytimes.com/wordplay. Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

N E

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