Noah & Agnes Felix: A Story of Love

What makes a happy marriage? Agnes offers some pointers!

Up till the early 40s, Inuk usually did not get to choose their spouse. Their families decided who and when they would marry. Agnes Felix, daughter of Betty and Amos Cockney, is from one of the first generations when the rules changed. She chose to marry Noah Felix, a descendent of Mangilaluk, one of the greatest chiefs of the Inuvialuit. They had been together since they were eighteen, for fortyfive years. Agnes is now an elder, but her face softens and glows with happiness when she talks about her husband.

Pointer No. 1 Have lots of fun, romantic dates

“Even when he was limping from an accident, he still asked me to waltz! He hung onto me so hard he just about made me fall sometimes!” Agnes laughs. “We visited each other and there were no drugs then, no alcohol or TV. We went for dances, played games, and went visiting. It would be moonlight, and my husband and I would go visiting by dog team. It was romantic.”

“We used to have a log house opposite where we lived. People came and played games, even the elderly men. We used to laugh so much playing crazy eight; losers had to jig for five minutes. There were lots of us; Jimmy Jacobson, Eddie Gruben, Billy Dillon, my husband... Once they made a loser walk around Old Kegoak’s house with no socks on. Old Kegoak thought he was drunk and tried to give him shoes!”

“On big days like Christmas and New Years, we used to have dog races for fun. People from everywhere would join. The prizes were cornmeal and gas. It was so noisy! The dogs were so used to listening to their masters, they didn’t listen much to the women. We hollered at those dogs! I always came in 2nd place, I couldn’t beat my sister-in-law.”

Pointer No. 2 Compromise, compromise

Noah was a good provider for his family. “He used to bring home so many foxes. Once, he brought home seventy foxes, and I had to flesh them all. I tore some skins by mistake. I used to cry! I thought, why did I marry a trapper? It was so much work! Later when I learnt how to do it well I enjoyed it.” It is hard to imagine a petite woman like Agnes fleshing foxes, wolves and bears, but she and Noah were flexible and learnt new skills for their family’s sake.

“When they used to club foxes at the traplines, I turned my head away. They were so cute. I gave up going to the traplines after that,” she said, “ But I enjoyed camping and caribou hunting with him. In the summer we made dried fish and worked on whale at our summer camp. That was good.”

At one point, Agnes was on the Board of Directors for Native Women. “My husband asked me to stop after I had my first boy, Robin. He was worried that the planes I had to travel on might crash. He said, “Gee, I will really miss you.”

She taught Inuvialuktun in Mangilaluk School instead. Even though Noah preferred to trap and hunt, he worked for NTCL for 17 summer seasons to supplement their earnings. “He also taught us a lot, he taught the kids how to hunt and trap,” she said.

Pointer No. 3 Learn something new from each other

When she was 8 years old,

Agnes was sent to residential school. Her mum was treated for tuberculosis in a hospital. “Those were hard times. I did not get to go home for summer holidays. Once, I had a letter and was asked: what are your parents’ names? I had forgotten! They were so strict in school, when they caught us speaking Inuvialuktun, they gave us a strapping without supper. I learnt to speak English and forgot my Inuvialuktun words.”

“Only after I got married in 1961 did I learn to speak Inuvialuktun from my husband and his dad. When I pronounced something wrong they always used to laugh at me, but I never gave up. I learnt our language. In Eastern Arctic the language is different, it was hard for me at first. My husband and I later worked for Elisa Hart, interpreting old time stories for her. We wrote them down in Inuvialuktun and then translated it into English.”

Pointer No. 4 Support Each Other

“Old Felix’s wife passed away young. Many people who had TB went south to the hospital for treatment in those days. A lot of them did not make it back. My husband said he had the loneliest life, losing his aunty and his mum. He said he cried a lot.” He also treasured his wife more because he had lost these women early in his life. Agnes supported Noah by listening to him; she was also his eyes when his vision worsened after his first stroke.

“Doctors didn’t let him get on skidoos anymore. When he came home from fishing camp he had a hard time finding the house. He would ask me “Which way?” He was miserable for a few years, and he never told us until later, and boy was I scared to hear it! He began doing work on the house more.”

“He also had a skidoo accident, but he never gave up trying to walk. One day, he just did!” That was when he asked Agnes to dance with him again.

“ I don’t go dancing anymore, there are too many memories of my husband.” Agnes now stays home a lot, and is slowly recovering from the grief of losing Noah. She sews and embroiders to make extra money. “I thought I would never talk to people again, it was so sad. But people are close in Tuktoyaktuk, and everyone’s prayers helped a lot. One thing did happen to make me feel better. I had a dream. He was back with me, in the room, as if he was living. He talked to me and made me less sad. I felt more courage to go on after that.” This story is dedicated to his memory.

Bonus Pointer Respect your in-laws

“Old Felix was a nice guy, he never missed prayer. When he made coffee, he sang Inuvialuktun and told stories, the best stories. People used to come around to hear him. We enjoyed having visitors.”

An Old Felix Story:

“My husband liked to hear stories of his grand dad. This is one of how Mangilaluk was born. Three polar bears went East and one came to Tuk.”

“ He said he’d seen a bright light in one house. He went in and saw a woman sewing. He walked into her womb and she became pregnant and started our species sewing. He said he remembered being born; there were logs and a deerskin on the floor.”

“They had needles by then, so they poked him and he forgot what happened after that. He was a good chief, a strong guy who really looked after his people. Then white people came along, and there were fewer chiefs after.”