ESSAYS That WORKED® for COLLEGE APPLICATIONS 50 Essays that Helped Students Get into the Nation� Top Colleges
B OYKIN CURRY, B RIAN KAS BAR, and EMI LY AN G E L BAE R
BALLANTINE BOOKS
•
NEW YORK
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Vll
INTRODUCTION
1X
AN INTERVIEW WITH an ADMISSIONS OFFICER
1
USING-and ABUSINGthe INTERNET
6
THE ESSAYS
11
Essays About Relationships
15
Essays About Travel
29
Essays About Obstacles
41
Offbeat Essays
56
Self-Description Essays
74
Essays About Home
89
Realization Essays
102
T hought Essays
117
Essays About Activities
124
Essays About the College Application Process
138
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
INTRODUCTION
J
ust twenty years ago, 50 percent of all high school graduates at tended a four-year college. Today, 67 percent attempt higher edu
cation, and the percentage continues to rise. College was once one of several alternatives for young people; now it's the norm. As most high school, students will tell you, "Everybody goes to college. " And most college counselors and admissions officers will add, "but not neces sarily to the school of their first choice." Competition for admission to selective schools is daunting. Some
recent statistics:
•
Amherst: 5, 3 52 applications for a freshman class of 4 3 4
•
Colgate: more than 6,000 applications fo r about 7 0 0 spots
•
Duke: 1 4,500 applicants for a class of 1 ,600
•
Harvard: accepted about 2,000 of their 1 8,600 applicants
•
Princeton: 1 4 ,000 applications for a freshman class of 1 , 1 00
•
Yale: over 1 3 ,000 applied; about 2,000 got in.
Here's another scary fact: most of the applicants to the top schools are qualified to attend. Those 1 3 ,000 students who tried to get into Yale? Almost all of them had excellent grades and test scores and would have made fine additions to the campus. So how do the poor admissions officers in New Haven pick just 2,000? Further, the trends apparent in selective colleges are appearing in
ix
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
most universities, even large state institutions. The writing is on the wall: Admission to all colleges is increasingly competitive and quali fied applicants more numerous. What's a kid to do? The writing is on the wall Well, maybe not literally, although many students want to pound their heads on a wall when they sit down to write THE ESSAY. Clearly, SAT scores and grades are cru cial ingredients for college application success. But if students were .
.
.
.
judged by numbers only, colleges would have to resort to a lottery, since far more students have the right numbers than can be admitted to a specific school. So the issue for each applicant remains: "How do I distinguish myself from all the other smart kids? " Sometimes the is sue is also: "How do I get them to _n otice me when my grades and scores aren't in their top range ? " And don't forget, there's an issue fo r the besieged admissions offi cers, too, namely: "How do I find a few hundred great students from, thousands of kids with terrific academic records? How do I make next year's freshman class the most diverse and talented class this school has ever seen? " An interview is a great way to let them know who you are, but the impression you make will be filtered through an "interpreter" before it gets to the admissions committee. Plus, many schools no longer give interviews. An essay, however, can be passed around, re-read, sa vored, discussed. The essay can be uniquely you; it can let the reader know that you are the perfect match for the university. A
Great Opportunity
Designed to give admissions officers a look "behind the numbers" at the "real" applicant, the essay also gives students a terrific opportu nity to wow the people who are deciding their college fate. Ironically, the one part of the application that allows students the most freedom of expression also produces the most anxiety. Admissions officers are looking for honest, creative, expressive statements. Essays That Worked, now in its third edition, has been providing encouragement and inspi ration to students since 1 986. The idea behind this book was that if applicants could see what other successful candidates were writing x
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
about-inchworms, baby-sitting, Oreo cookies-they could break through the "fourth wall" and pull the audience right into their lives. And maybe they wouldn't be so anxious about their own essay. Some students have found the essays in this book intimidating be cause they are unique, fascinating, and-in sharp contrast to most application essays, unfortunately-generally a pleasure to read. Admis sions officers have expressed concern as well. The dean of admissions at Bates College wrote:
I confess when I looked through your earlier book, I had some misgiv ings. I find when I give workshops on the writing of college essays (and I probably do ten or twenty a year), young people are easily intimidated by brilliantly written, flashy, or very perceptive writing. Often, far from giving them models and encouraging them, it seems to freeze them up and stall them out. They subconsciously throw up their hands and say, "I can't write like that, " and more perniciously and subconsciously, "I guess I shouldn't go to demanding colleges." We are looking for students who write coherent, thoughtful, carefally organized, mechanically sound, and hopefally imaginative prose. Some times that's flashy and creative, and sometimes it is not. I hasten to say that I don't mean this as a complaint or an attack on your previous book. It was well organized and had lots of wonderful writing samples in it. But we try to find some way to say to young people, "Write in your own voice." The central metaphor of admissions for me is not.the Wizard of Oz but theatrical lighting. That is to say, we hope students will not think "they are to hide themselves behind'a curtain and bellow into a micro phone and saw at some ropes to create an image of themselves as power fal and unique. Rather, we hope to have students think of themselves in the admissions process as being out on center stage front, _with all of the different parts of the folder representing a different theatrical light to light up some particular facet of their personality or skills. So let's get one thing straight: The essays in this book are not stan dards that you have to meet in order to get into college. Some of you might have essays in your head far better than anything here. (If so,
xi
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
let us read them! See www.EssaysThatWorked.com for information
c;m submitting your essays for the next edition of this book.) These are simply essays that worked, not the only essays that worked. We hope that you will first read all the essays. There is a wide range here; some are fifty words, some are 5 ,000. Some have dialogue, some are poems, one is even a cartoon. The question you should ask your足 self as you read is not, "Is this a good essay? " but rather, "Do I get to know this writer from this essay? " If you are an admissions officer, you will also ask, "Now that I know this applicant, does he/she match my university? " Getting into college is not a writing contest; the competition is more subtle than that. More important than how well you write is how well you illustrate who you are and whether a particular college is right for you. B elieve it or not, the college admissions officer wants what's best,for you. With the applicant pool increasing yearly both in quantity and quality, most schools have little trouble filling their freshman classes. Your task is to communicate something new and meaningful about yourself to someone who only knows you by your ' numbers.
Put Yourself in Their Shoes You are an admissions officer at Harvard, Duke, or Stanford. It's
2 :00
A.M.
on April
9.
Your desk is somewhere beneath a huge stack of
papers. Your eyes are tired and red. Mechanically you open the next application folder, and again you force yourself to read:
I am constantly striving to expose myselfto every opportunity to become a person with a deep understanding of my own values and of the envi足 ronment in which I find myself. I have participated in a broad range of activities, and I have endeavored to become ever more versatile a'fl;d tol足 erant while at the same time solidifying my own ideals ... You cannot go on. But you must, because the deadline for notifying applicants is just a few days away. You're facing yet another long night
Xll
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
reading vague, boring, pompous essays. You slowly bow your head and rest it in your hands, wishing for a different job. Suddenly, a gust of wind blows through an open window, upsetting the pile of applications. As 400 essays flutter around the room, you notice a page with a recipe for cranberry bread. A recipe?
Cranberry bread?!
Curious, you pick up the essay and start to read, and you smile:
4 c.
flour c. sugar 3 t. baking powder 1 pkg. cranberries
2
. . . Not only is the following an overview of my personality but also a delicious recipe. First the flour and sugar need to be sifted together into a large bowl. Flour reminds me of the powder snow that falls in the West. I was born and raised in Pennsylvania, where our snow falls more like sugar, granu足 lar and icy, and makes us hardy skiers, unlike those spoiled by Western snow. Cold weather is also conducive to reading . . . Finally, a s.tudent you would want to
meet, someone who dares to
express herself creatively rather than simply recite the same old litany of high school achievements and adolescent philosophies. Finally, an interesting essay!
As you finish the "recipe" and read through the rest of her applica足 tion, you start to feel much better. Decent grades, good test scores, solid recommendations-you've seen better, but it's certainly re. spectable. And.then there's this fantastic essay, evidence of an inven足 tive and independent mind. The essay makes your decision easy. You put her folder into a box marked "Admit," and you look forward to discussing her with the Admissions Committee tomorrow.
Xlll
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
This is an exaggeration, of course, but it makes an important point. Admissions officers are human. They'll laugh at a good joke; they'll get excited over a well-written account of a close game; they may even shed a tear if you pull them through a tragedy. They'll also become bored and irritated as quickly as anyone by essays that are dull and blatantly self-serving.
What These Essays Do In its own way, each essay in this book is enlightening and enter taining. These essays inform readers without boring them. Don't be intimidated by these essays. Some are beautifully written, others a lit tle awkward. But each gives a tiny, honest flash into the lives of ordi nary students. Each essay tells you something about its author that you wouldn't learn from reading grade transcripts, lists of extracurricu lar activities, or letters of recommendation. To be sure, most of these essays are self-serving. To varying degrees, they describe high school achievements and try to reinforce the rest of the application. But what they really have in common is that each of these students has taken a risk. Each piece reveals the personality and the mind of the writer, and that's exactly what admissions officers want to see, especially when the work is genuine and honest. One dean of admissions said, "I prefer essays that are clearly written by a seventeen-year-old and reflect their own thoughts, feelings, and opin ions. I don't believe most seventeen-year-olds have done anything too grandiose (yet), so I don't look for that. Rather, I want to see what they have experienced through their own eyes, and how it has affected the way they look at the world." Every college application has plenty of space for you to list your grades and all your accomplishments. The essay is the only section where you have total control, even if the essay question is specific. Your grades, your scores, your activities-they're history, and there's nothing you can do about them as you fill in the blanks. The essay, however, offers a precious opportunity for you to express your indi-
XIV
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
viduality, so don't squander the chance by just repeating what the rest of the application already states. Another warning: Don't try to be the student you think the reader wants to find . Admissions officers want to know the real you, and they want to find the right match for their school. If you have researched your college choices carefully, that should be a no-brainer. You need not have experienced earth-shattering, mind-altering crises to reveal your true self to an admissions officer. In fact, writing well about a seemingly trivial moment can ·be the most revealing thing you do. By finding the profound in the mundane, a writer can tell an admissions officer more about his personality than all the teacher recommenda tions ever could. Walt Whitman wrote about grass; Emily Dickinson wrote about a bird; William Faulkner, a bear; John Donne, a flea; Lorraine Hans berry wrote about summer; John Updike, a mailbox; and Randall Jar rell about detergent-all risky topics because they are so commonplace, yet each of these writers had a Bigger Meaning in mind. Look out your window, look under your bed, check your gym locker. Be willing to trash false starts and try again-and again, and again. Writing can be illuminating, it can be fun, and it might even get you into the col lege of your choice.
xv
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
AN INTERVIEW WITH an
H
ADMISSIONS OFFICER
e still had a hundred essays to read before 6:00
P.M.,
and he was
beginning to grow tired. My interview with him would offer a
brief break from the Herculean task of narrowing ten thousand appli cants to a freshman class of nine hundred. "I hope your book works," he j oked, "so maybe next year I won't have to read five hundred essays about the yearlong drama of being student council president. I'm sorry, but successful car washes just don't make for enthralling reading. " I smiled. He rubbed his eyes. "On a Wednesday in the middle of March this job gets tough. Sometimes it seems that there are only four types of essays: the 'class president' essay, the 'I lost but learned' sports essay, the 'I went to Eu rope and learned how complex the world is' essay, and the good old 'being yearbook editor sure is hard work' essay. When I read one of those, it takes ama�ing willpower to get to the third paragraph. " " S o sometimes you don't read the whole essay ? " I asked. "No comment," he replied, changing the subject. "I wish students would realize that when they write they should have something to say. They should try to present their values and priorities by writing on a subject that really means something to them, because, other than the essay, all I have is a bunch of test scores and activities: ten thousand sets of numbers and facts. I'd like to be able to see beyond that. I want to see what makes someone tick. " "But couldn't that be dangerous? " I asked. "What if someone writes
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
something really bizarre, just to avoid being 'boring'? Can strange ideas or comments hurt an applicant? " "Well, if someone expressed homicidal tendencies, it would proba bly have a negative effect. Still, you'd be surprised how tolerant we are. A few years ago, we had a kid from Palestine apply. In his essay, he endorsed Yassir Arafat and the PLO . As far as he was concerned, Israel had usurped the rightful land of his people and should be treated as a criminal state. The admissions officer who covered the Middle East was an Orthodox Jew. Not only did the student get in, but he graduated with honors in political science. "In fact, being offbeat or daring is usually a plus, as long as the stu dent stays in control of his writing. The essays which are most ef fective seize a topic with confidence and imagination. Too many applicants treat their essay like a minefield. They walk around on tip toe, avoiding anything controversial. Of course, the essay comes out two-dimensional, flat, and boring. It seems like many essays have been read, proofread, and reproofread until all the life has been sucked out. I wish kids would just relax and not try to guess what the admissions committee is looking for. As soon as they start playing that game, they're going to lose. The essay won't be from the heart, and it won't work. "The great essays-good writers discussing something of personal importance-stick out like diamonds in a coal bin. When we're sort ing through the last few hundred applications, an essay that sticks out in
an
admissions officer's mind has got to help the applicant who
wrote it. " "How important is it to be a good writer? " I asked. "Writing style tells you a lot about the way a person thinks. I like when a student brings a sense of style to a piece, as a good essayist or editorial writer would do. I've always advocated reading the essays of E. B. White as a means of preparing for writing the essay. I also sug gest that students read the editorial pages of the local newspaper. But we never discount the student who writes a simple, even awkward, es say that is sincere and moving. "That's why I urge students to write as they would in a diary or a letter
2
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
US ING-and ABUSING-the INTERNET
T
he admissions officer is sitting at his desk, piles of papers every
where indicating the degree to which he is overworked (or per haps his own relaxed approach to organization) . He is reac;ling the forty-ninth essay of the day, when suddenly he has a wave of deja vu . Now, he's been reading admissions essays at his small, private, lib eral arts college for five years, and he's often read essays that remind him of something else. But this one-hmmmm:
New Albany City, check. Time, 15:30. Great.' Reset timer; power nor mal; oil temperature, within range; compass setting, correct. Alone at 4,000 feet in a small airplane in a strange new territory and I am pilot ing my way peifectly. Ifeel like Lindbergh.' Is it possible that he's read about two student pilots this year? Coin cidence? He thinks not. He reads through the essay about this young man's euphoric first solo flight and becomes more convinced that he has seen it before. He shuffles through the applications that he placed in a stack for a second review. Bingo ! There it is-the same essay in an application from two weeks ago. Punctuation, paragraphing, wording, all exactly the same. He glances through the application. One counselor recommendation mentions the flying lessons; the other one does not. Both applicants come from large urban areas, but not the same urban area, not even the same state. Both are bright students and quite tech savvy. Their transcripts and their extracurriculars indicate a big interest in the Internet. In fact, one teacher recommendation names the computer 6
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
THE ES SAYS
F
or organizational purposes only, we divided the essays into ten groups : essays about relationships, travel; and various obstacles;
offbeat essays and self-description essays; essays about home, realiza tions, intellectual thought, and activities; and, of course, ess�ys about the college application process. Please bear in mind that this group ing is totally artificial . You don't have to write an essay that would fit neatly into one of these categories. We created the introductions to each group of essays from the com ments submitted by admissions officers and seasoned college admis sions counselors from high schools. As well as being a fine piece of writing on its own, an essay might also exemplify a "type." For in stance, the piece about an inchwor� by Jamie Mayer (page 115) is a great example of the "thought essay, " which is a popular type of essay. So if you are planning to write one of these, pay special attention to the comments in the group's introduction, as well as to the styling of the essay. Of course, the essay question may limit your range of responses. Most colleges ask for something vague and open-ended, such as "Please write something that will tell us more about you . " For that, you could write about practically anything. Other schools have more specific questions: "Which adj ective would describe you by those who know you best?" or "If you could have dinner with one famous per son, who would it be and why? " Though answers to topics like these must be tightly structured, they still give you the chance to develop a unique and memorable image. See the sample essay questions on pages
149-50 for more. 11
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
The essays are reproduced almost exactly as they were submitted, though of course the fonts and spacing are different. (Also, a couple were handwritten-something you should never do unless an applica tion requests it.) Though we deleted some names in the "Name Withheld" essays and obscured a few dates and places, we did not cor rect the writers' punctuation, spelling, or grammar-but note that very rarely would such correction be needed. A
JVarning
While we know that no one would be foolish enough to copy any of these essays verbatim, some of you might be tempted to take an essay and "change it around a little" to suit your application. We hope you know how stupid that would be. For one thing, stealing a phrase or even an idea from an essay in this book is fiat-out dishonest. Duke University, Davidson College, the University of Virginia, and many other schools maintain that the application is covered by their Honor Codes. Thus, cheating on the application will guarantee your rejec tion from that college. In fact, Stanford recently expelled a freshman two months into the academic year when they discovered his applica tion essay had been plagiarized. Remember, this has been a popular book for many years. Numerous high schools use it as a junior-year textbook to teach students how to write a personal essay. Most admissions officers have read this book and are familiar with each essay. No admissions officer would ever ad mit a plagiarist. A counselor from a prestigious prep school sent us this anecdote:
When I was Associate Dean of Admissions at Georgetown in the [late eighties], we were asked to select memorable essays from among the ap plications of students who were being admitted. Two enterprising Yale graduates had requested samples of "essays that worked" to publish in a guidebook aimed at a high school audience. Because of our involvement in the project, we received several complimentary copies of the volume, which I read out of curiosity. ·This background knowledge proved useful during my tenure on the 12
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
ESSAYS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS
I
t's said that we are the sum of our relationships. After a college has
seen your test scores, grades, and recommendations, there are few questions more important than "How does she get along with the people around her? " and "Does he see how he lives with the people , around him?, If you're going to write an essay about relationships, there's no need to pat yourself on the back with platitudes about how open-minded and compassionate you are. In fact, writing about your selfishness may reveal more sensitivity than writing about the time you helped a little old lady cross the street. The fir�t applicant struggles between principles and emotions of family and ideology. She takes a calculated risk in this essay, both in its length and in presenting a bigotry that many would find offensive. The admissions officer, however, doesn't have to agree with her con clusions. He just has to be impressed by the way this writer brings us through her personal battle. Marie Louise Buhler describes a character with a fullness usually found only in a great short story. She has cared enough about some one to really think about him-a rare trait indeed. '1In addition, her writing style is excellent. A writing expert at Yale said, "The last sen tence deserves reading and rereading-for its stunning control of rhythm and its wonderful ending on one lonely word (grammatically isolated, on the far side of the comma), 'alone.' " Robin Bernstein describes a family crisis with empathy and humor, and Neal Weinrich's lengthy essay about his grandfather is poignant without being maudlin. The length is not a negative because the essay 15
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
NAME WITH H E LD
W
hen people hear what's left of my accent and ask, "Are you British?" I'm never quite sure what to say. My mother is
Scottish and my father is Jewish-Am e rican; I'm the product of what
ever synthesis can possibly come of two disparate cultures . My par ents are a classic example of opposites attracting, and they get along just fine . But contrasts that complement each other in a marriage don't always work so well together when they're in the same person. I've often felt the opposing characteristics and traditions of each of their backgrounds in conflict inside me. Growing up in Berkeley has reinforced in me my father's tradition of social activism, and muted the socially conservative Presbyterian ism of my mother's upbringing. After all, Berkeley has Malcolm X Middle School, Stephen Biko Plaza, Ho Chi Minh Park, and an an nual Gay-Lesbian Day parade. Both of our two local political camps are to the left of the National Democratic Party, and we have more ethnic restaurants than we do Republicans. Street artists sell their hand carved incense holders, silver peace-symbol pendants, and T-shirts tie-dyed in psychedelic colors up and down Telegraph Avenue. Berke ley tolerates anything-except intolerance. So I found myself quite unprepared when I encountered precisely that in my own family on a visit to Scotland last summer. I hadn't seen my Scottish relatives in five years . The sight of the grey North Sea and the stone dikes running low over tilled fields in Aberdeenshire released a flood of memories. I remembered visiting as a little girl: sitting in the strawberry field gorging myself, helping to drive sheep into a market-bound trailer, leaping off the barn rafters
17
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
into a mountain of grain. Uncle Rob, my mother's younger brother, would amaze me br: apparently grabbing only my ears and lifting me high into the air. Then he'd laugh and tousle my curly hair, so much like his own. So I looked forward to seeing him again. When I did, it was in the morning-room of his comfortable country home inn. In the course of conversation over coffee, Uncle Rob an nounced, "The way things are going, pretty soon there won't be any real women left to stay home where they belong and raise children. " I thought he might be j oking at first; "Come on Uncle Rob . . . " I laughed. But my mother caught my eye with a warning glance, and I knew he was serious. He didn't stop there. By the time his coffee cup was empty he had weighed in strongly against homosexuals, blacks, and liberal thought in general. It took every ounce of self control I had to heed my mother's cue. I was angry and confused as we all went through to lunch. My mother sensed my distress and whispered, "You can cope dear. You'll have to. Remember, he is your ru;icle. " But as we sat down I wondered that I didn't explode. I wanted to erase the last ten minutes of conver sation so he could still be my Uncle Rob and lift me up by my ears, which were now burning with frustration and indignation. I wished he'd never said any of it; now that he had, I thought, things could never be the same again. I knew there was nothing I could do to change his mind. My favorite uncle was a bigot, plain and simple. How could I love someone and hate everything he believed? How could I claim to have beliefs, if I allowed exceptions to them? I was still struggling with these questions when we went out to the farm one more time before flying back home. Uncle Rob showed me the grain dryer and the milking barn, and I helped him innoculate a herd of cows. We didn't talk politics. When it came titne to say good bye, I gave him a hug and a kiss and he laughed like I remembered. On the plane back to Berkeley, I realized that I had grown up in an area which was, in its own way, as insular and sheltered as Aberdeen shire. I had known, of course, that there were intolerant people in the world. But somehow, in my mind they had all worn KKK hoods. It was easy to hate and disdain them from afar; I thought of them as stupid and cruel, nothing like my uncle. Coming face to face with some18
·
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
one I loved and respected, but who believed the unspeakable, made me realize how narrow-minded this view is. Passing harsh judgment on people based on a litmus test of their politics risked making my world smaller just as Uncle Rob's racism makes his. I do love my Uncle Rob. I'm sorry that he won't know the richness of living among different cultures, and that he'll probably miss out on meeting some interesting blacks, Jews, and homosexuals . I still think his nativism and bigotry are a danger and a shame. But while the na足 ture of friendship is that it begins and ends by choice, I didn't choose to be related to my uncle, and I can't choose not to be. It's permanent; the only choice I have is whether to make the hest of it. To enjoy the certainty of love and commitment that family life brings, I have to ac足 cept the members of my family as they are. I decided that if Uncle Rob were prepared to put up with a niece who must seein pretty radi足 cal to a Scottish farmer, I could put up with him. I feel like a puzzle, made up of pieces I'm discovering on the road to adulthood. One of the pieces I've found is a commitment to social justice; another is a need to feel close to my Scottish relatives, despite their traditional respect for the status quo. Ironically, it was in that same Scottish tradition of acceptance that I found a way to fit the two pieces together.
19
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
ESSAYS ABOUT T RAVEL
T
o hear some admissions officers tell it, they get at least one mil lion essays about travel every year. Approximately eight hun
dred thousand are about a trip to Europe that taught the writer "how
complex the world is" or "how all people have the same hopes and dreams. " About a hundred thousand describe an emotional trip to Jerusalem. The remaining hundred thousand detail journeys to Africa, Asia, or South America. And every year, of those one million travel essays, maybe three are interesting. Face it-how many times do you think one admissions officer can stand to read about a two-week vacation in Paris? It's not that your trips are inherently bqring, and it's not that the lessons you learn from travel are automatically trite. Rather, most es says about travel are dull because they lack the detail necessary to bring the reader on the trip
with you. Just saying you went to France
and saw lots of old stuff is neither exciting nor insightful. But describ ing your relationship with your ninety-one-year-old grandmother who lives in the French countryside and doesn't speak English
is ex
citing. Interesting and telling detail is the key to a good travel essay indeed, to all good essays. This is precisely why travel is such a difficult subject to choose for your application essay. The emotions we feel when we travel are so deep that it takes an exceptional writer to express them without falling into cliche. Not one of the writers in this section s_a id, "I learned so-and-so on my trip to Dublin. " Instead, each student brings you through a memorable experience and lets you actually "see" the scenes and feel the emotions for yourself.
29
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
CARLY KI E L
T
he village was surrounded by a fence of sticks and woven leaves that protected it from the rest of the savanna. It was hard not
to envision Kurtz's fence of skulls, though nothing here was reminis足
cent of Conrad's malignant Africa. Hut walls were made of dried cow dung, roofs of grass, and the ground between of thousands of swirling layers of dust. The bitter wind was stinging our bodies and our eyes, so we pulled our arms inside our shirts and complained. They did a traditional tribal dance for us and we watched their pet ostrich flap her wings in confusion. They showed us how they make their spears, and then led a tour through one of their largest huts. Mostly, though, they gawked at us-especially the children clinging to their mothers' skirts or hiding inside their doorways. I saw one child who couldn't have been more than five years old. He was tiny, but he had already outgrown the green jelly sandals on his feet and the incongruous Phoenix Suns t-shirt on his back. He was shivering, but not complaining; he had no pants to wear.
As my group moved on to watch some tribesmen start a fire the old- ' fashioned way, I bent over to talk to this boy.
"Jambo, " I said, and he looked at the ground as he stepped behind his mother. I remembered what our bus driver, Maiko, had taught me and I asked,
"Jina lako nani? "
The boy kept his eyes on the ground and shyly told me his name: "Saidi . " I knelt down, suddenly unaware of the dirt beneath me, and dug into my pocket for a Starburst Hard Candy that I had stolen out of my roommate Julia's backpack that morning. I unwrapped it and extended my other palm for Saidi to mimic. I put the little crimson
36
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
disk in his pint-sized fist and motioned for him to put it in his mouth. He looked up for approval through the red cloak draped around his mother, and a hand reached out to pat his curly scalp in consent. Having few teeth with which to chew, Saidi drooled most of the Starburst right onto the ground in front of him, not to mention the front of his too-small Phoenix Suns t-shirt, grinning the whole time. As my counselors Seth and Amie started calling my name to rejoin
the group, I racked my brain for something else to give my new little friend, but only one thing came to mind. I had been wearing the same clothes for three consecutive days to save space in our luggage. On the day of our visit to the Samburu vil足 lage, however, we had all put on our second set of clean clothes to wear for the rest of the week. Unprepared for the harsh winds and chilly nights of Kenya, I had only brought two t-shirts and one long足 .
sleeved shirt. As I stood up, I pulled off the only garment in my immediate pos足 session that didn't reek of mildew and sweat, leaving myself in only a yellow sports bra. Once again, I had Saidi mimic me as I raised my arms over my head. I slid my Mequon Power soccer t-shirt over his ingenuous arms. It brushed the top of his green jelly sandals, and the short sleeves hit well past his wrists. As Saidi looked up at me smiling, his mother took my hand and gave me a genuine "asante. " The boy suddenly ran off into his hut as Seth and Amie continued to call me. I started to walk towards them when I felt a tug on the back of my shorts. When I turned around, Saidi held up a black bracelet and proclaimed, "Twiga. " "Sifahamu, " I replied, indicating that I didn't understand what he was saymg. His mother stepped forward and explained in broken English, "It is made of giraffe tail. Saidi made it. " While my group loaded the buses to leave the village, I rummaged through my bag and, without thinking, pulled out the only thing I owned that covered my arms-a gray long-sleeved Dave Matthews Band t-shirt with elephants on the back and holes torn for my thumbs 37
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
in the cuffs. I handed it to the chief's son to give to whoever needed it most.
As we drove away with the roof propped open, we once again com足 plained about the stinging icy wind. I watched as the dust from the village rose in a cloud behind us, forming a misty curtain through which I could no longer see Saidi, and I hugged my freezing body through the dirty t-shirt I was wearing. Then I felt the sharp ends of a
twiga bracelet scratching my wrist, and I suddenly felt warm.
38
Preview - tusachduhoc.com
SOME SAMPLE ESSAY Q!JESTIONS
H
ere's a sample of recent college application essay questions. The answer is always within your grasp-just make your re足
sponse yours and you can't be wrong.
"The past is never dead. It's not even past. " So says the lawyer Gavin Stevens in Faulkner's Requiem for a Nun. To borrow from Stevens's words, what small event, either from your personal history or the his足 tory of the world, is neither "dead" nor "past. "
What one person, class, book, or experience would you point to as having had a significant effect on the way you think about something? Explain.
Think about all the things you hope or expect to gain from your col足 lege e?'perience, and then tell us which two or three you would place at the top of your list if you had to make up such a list today. Be as specific or as general as you like.
Please relate your interest in studying at University to your fu足 ture goals. How do these thoughts relate to your chosen field of study? __
1 56