Multiplicity Fall 2014 by Multiplicity Magazine

Fall 2014

celebrate fall with the family

special insert!

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;14

Holiday Guide

grief during

a season of joy

easy ways to

trim the fat

at the holidays 1www.multiplicitymag.com

relaxing during the holidays?

it can be done!

you & your birth plan

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passing the torch: sharing family traditions with the next generation 6

Inspiration for your kids’ next backyard campout

No tricks, just treats! A New Way to Give Back at Halloween

10 Move over mama! Daddy’s here! 15 Stressed at the holidays? We’ve got 12 ways to help you relax

18 Itch, Scratch: Keep the lice at bay! 20 Tips for your Birth Plan when it comes to twins

24 Boo x2! A Halloween feature for costume inspiration

30 Coping with Grief at the Holidays 33 Product Buzz 34 Navigating the holidays in an Interfaith House

37 Tips for Trimming the Fat at the Holidays

38 And then came twins: An Adoption Story

Celebrate Fall with the Family

Fashion Finds with Fall in Mind

Tandem Babywearing: A Success Story

Gear up with great gifts with help from our Holiday Guide

To give or not to give? Gifting Alternatives from the heart

Holiday Book Review

Bring the family together for Crafting at the Holidays!

Organization & Keeping Your Sanity at the Holidays

Introducing the twins to Baby

Ask Joan: Kindergarten Parents Need the Love!

Five Minute Fix: Change out those Light Switch Plates

In their daddy’s eyes: Chronicles of Tween Twins

Hitting back: When Child Sexual Abuse Hits Home

Twas the Night Before Christmas: Shared Family Traditions

cover cuties Six year old boy/girl twins, Sofia and Nikolas grace our fall cover. Nikolas enjoys video games and karate and also plays t-ball. Sofia loves playing with cars and is a wizard at Legos. She also enjoys karate and soccer. Interesting fact: the twins attend a language immersion school and are fluent in German. photos courtesy of Firewife Photography

It’s the most wonderful time of the year...yeah, I know, it’s also the craziest. From juggling holiday parties and school programs for the kids, to crafting food and activities for school parties, decorating the house and securing all of those last minute gifts, it’s no wonder each holiday season feels like a blur by the time it has come and gone. While I certainly have my work, deadlines and commitments like everyone else, I “try” to slow down more than ever this time of year and really take it all in. I love watching my kids make leaf piles to jump in. I love taking them apple picking and their excitement when we make homemade applesauce, apple crisp or other treats out of their finds. I especially love their little girl and little boy anticipation of knowing that if they’ve been especially good this year, Santa will visit and bring them a few new toys. There is nothing like the pure joy on a little one’s face when they come from their bedroom on Christmas morning (even if it is at 3am!), to see what has been left under the tree. In Natalie Diaz founder/publisher natalie@multiplicitymag.com

fact, most families have traditions all season long, and we’re hoping that some of our features will be of interest. From passing down your traditions, crafts for the family, and how to celebrate the seasons, we’re hoping you’ll enjoy the moment and learn a thing or two about relaxing through it all, too. We also realize with all of our differences, that not everyone experiences the holidays in the same way. We’ve offered some helpful tips for those coping with grief at this time of year, as well as how some families celebrate in interfaith homes. If you’re like most of us that rush through the list (often without checking it twice!), we offer tips on organization, and perhaps even more importantly, how to stick to your fitness and nutrition goals with all of the extra food available this time of year. Regardless of how you celebrate, make the most of the time you have with those you love. Holidays come and go, but the traditions you invest in your children today will live long after you’re gone!

Talitha A. McGuinness executive editor talitha@multiplicitymag.com

Publisher Natalie Diaz Executive Editor / Creative Director Talitha A. McGuinness Photographers Firewife Photography Contributing Writers Cheri Timmons Cara Krenn Payal Tello Karen Finchum Lindsay MacDougall Jessica Therivel Nellie Harden Dr. Joan Friedman Jill Marcum Chad Carter Traci Zeller Dr. Preeti Parikh Susan Rassette Tracey Baron Paula Yost Schupp Julie McCaffrey Carolyn Christensen Mike Hartshorne Angel Rodrigues Lonnie Somers Twiniversity Content Mgr. Julie Burt Nichols Pinterest/Forum Manager Deanna Burkett Contact us: 141 Mulberry Street Apt. C-1 New York, NY 10013 917-442-2020 info@multiplicitymag.com www.multiplicitymag.com Multiplicity is published as a digital magazine four times per calendar year, with additional supplements as desired. Multiplicity cannot assume responsibility of statements made by advertisers. In addition, though hand-picked and carefully reviewed, Multiplicity cannot guarantee the accuracy of editorial pieces. No portion in whole or in part of this publication may be reproduced without express written consent from the publisher. Questions? Email talitha@multiplicitymag.com.

multiplicity

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happy fall!

take time to walk with fingers laced, voices connected and hearts completely in sync to nature and each other.

campout capers by jill marcum

Looking for a super special party idea for the little ones, perfect for fall? Try a camping party in your own backyard! I celebrated my twin boys with tons of snacks and outdoor fun, and am excited to share the details so you can create the perfect camping party, too! For snacks, I offered acorn cookies, strawberry ladybugs, squirrel food (peanuts), Fire Starters (pretzels), bird food (sunflower seeds), GoGo Squeez applesauce, and graham bears with a sign reading “Don’t feed the bears!” We also grilled hotdogs and for the adults, I provided a crab and cabbage salad. To keep the kids busy, a friend made the bows and arrows and my dad made the tent frames. I finished them by stapling sheets to them to make really fun tents the kids could play inside. Step2 also makes great outdoor 6

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photos courtesy of December Boulevarde Photography

toys for kids, so we had the Skyward Summit, the Fixin’ Fun Outdoor Grill, and the Naturally Playful® Picnic Table with Umbrella where the kids ate their snacks.

Acorn Cookies

What you’ll need: • 1 bag chocolate kisses • 1 bag chocolate chips • 30 Nilla Wafer Cookies Here’s what you do: Melt half the bag of chocolate chips on low heat on stovetop. Use the melted chocolate to apply the chocolate kisses to the bottom of the Nilla Wafer Cookies, and then place a chocolate chip to the top of the cookie. Let cool completely before serving to let the melted chocolate set.

Strawberry Ladybugs

What you’ll need: • Strawberries • Chocolate chips • White icing in a tube or bag w/ a whole cut in one corner • chopstick Here’s what you do: Wash and dry strawberries. Cut a “V” in the tops to create the wings of the ladybugs. Melt chocolate on low heat on the stovetop. Dip the tips of the strawberries in melted chocolate and place on wax paper to cool. Using a chopstick, dip in the chocolate and gently place dots on the strawberries. With a fine tip on the icing tube (or small hole cut in corner of the bag), squeeze two dots on the chocolate to make the eyes of the ladybug. If you love the fall and love to be outdoors with your little ones, this is the perfect way to celebrate the season!

Jill is currently a stay-at-home mom of 5 year old twin boys, with whom there is never an end to the curious questions about the world around them. She enjoys going to the park, cooking, sewing, and writing. You can read about her family’s journey of having children in the NICU, having an advanced child and a child with Autism on Twiniversity and in Multiplicity Magazine. multiplicity

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trick -oreat! a new way to give back this halloween

alloween is all about costumes, candy, and fun, but this year you can make it about giving back as well. A great way to teach your kids the value of helping others in need – all while having a blast in their costume of choice – is “Trickor-Eat,” a Halloween food drive that serves to provide local food banks and community resource centers’ essential food needs. Instead of going door-to-door asking for treats, your family can collect nonperishable food items to help combat hunger in your area. This is also a wonderful cause for your parents of multiples club or your play group. It’s easy, fun, and you can do it all in your own neighborhood. The essentials for an effective “Trickor-Eat” food drive are:

by cara krenn 8

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1) Find a local food bank/ community resource center

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to support. Contact your organization of choice well in advance of Halloween in order to assess their specific needs and discuss the timing of your donation drop-off. 2) Designate a day and time for your “event” and notify your neighbors. The most effective campaigns come from giving your neighbors a little notice. You can alert your community via email, mailbox flyers, or Facebook, letting them know in advance what day and time you’ll be coming by and what type of goods you’re hoping to collect. You can choose to collect food on Halloween, or go out a week or two beforehand (this is easier for little kids). A sample flyer/email might read: “While many of us are focused on collecting candy this Halloween, some people are worried about where their next meal is coming from. To help out, the kids and I will be collecting

non-perishable food items (in costume!) on DATE at TIME. Please donate what you can (no glass please). If you will not be home, feel free to leave your donation on your front door or mine. Thank you!” 3) Get your wagon ready. Canned foods become heavy quickly, so make sure to bring a wagon or something similar when heading out to greet your neighbors (you may need to do multiple shifts). Take it an extra step and decorate your wagon with your kids (or make it part of the costume --- think a pirate ship to go along with Jake and Izzy or a rolling rocketship for your little space cadets). 4) Costume time! Explain to your kids how collecting food will help others in need. Then, put on those costumes and get ready to head out the door (yours is optional). Kids love the opportunity to dress up and ring doorbells, and will have fun watching their wagon fill up with “treats.” Don’t forget to take a few pictures and use these visits as teaching moments for manners! 5) Deliver your donations. If you’re doing this event as a club, one member’s home can be the designated drop-off location and this person can drive your donations to your food bank. If you’re doing this event with your family, bring your food to your organization of choice as soon as you can. Have fun sharing these teaching moments and making this Halloween more meaningful for your family and community!

other ideas for

maximizing costumes

z For preschool aged kids and up, look for costumes that are more a “dress-up” style (i.e. firefighter, super hero, ballerina, etc.) that can be reused over and over again throughout the year. z Wear costumes to the pumpkin patch when selecting your family Jack-O-Lantern-to-be. z Plan an October family “out-todinner dress-up” night and wear costumes to your kids’ favorite restaurant. z Find a local fall festival where you can enjoy food and games, hayrides and corn mazes, all in costume. z Go on a family “parade” or walk at night the week before Halloween to check out your neighborhood decorations. z Schedule a Halloween play date with your play group. z Plan a Halloween party with your parents of multiples club.

Cara and her twin girls load up donations multiplicity

z Dress up to take your leftover candy to the dentist (many offer “buy-back” programs) or an organization that will send it to our U.S. troops abroad (such as Operation Gratitude). Ronald McDonald House Charities also accepts candy donations. the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the daddy? balancing fatherhood in a realm where media shows mommy reigns by chad carter

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

Recently the CEO of a major software company made national news when he announced he would be stepping down to “spend more time with his family.” The decision by a male CEO to choose family over the boardroom was surprising to many, but it shouldn’t be.

balancing act

Fathers across the country are playing a more active and vital role in parenting today, eager and excited to take on child care tasks long solely associated with mom. In fact, gone are the days of Leave it to Beaver shows where moms reigned supreme, cooking, cleaning and caring for everyone while daddy was away at work all day. New shows like Modern Dads on A&E illustrate the changing times where the men either choose to be or are forced to be much more hands on with daddy duty. However, as costs connected with raising children continue to soar (CNN now reports it costs nearly $250K to raise a child to age 18...yikes!), and especially when multiples come into play, dual incomes are nearly mandatory in many homes. Both parents are facing the reality of balancing family and work, which creates a whole new paradigm shift in the world of parenting.

“Every morning we both get them up, change them, spend some time with each individually.”

logistics are hard

For Eric Sanders, father of nine-and-a-half month old twin boys, the day-to-day routine can be a daunting one. “I now realize I was naive to think they would fit into our lives --- rather, we’ve started a new, very different chapter.” Born two months premature, his twins have provided a whirlwind entry into fatherhood. After spending 25 days in the hospital, Sanders and his wife started the process of welcoming the boys home and learning how to balance everything on their own. For the couple, planning and teamwork are front and center of everything they do. “The logistics are hard. Parenting with twins is a team activity. It’s never one of us feeding or putting to bed, but always both.” Developing new schedules and routines was paramount for success, always keeping their focus on the boys. Born premature, their personalities and character took a bit longer to come, though the laughs, smiles, and facial expressions they now share provide a new deeper level of purpose and challenge for the family. “This has made us grow much closer, because we now share all these moments.” multiplicity

For Sanders, being an active and engaged father has always been the only option, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a balancing act. Like many fathers today, he works hard to massage his schedule at work to maximize his time with his sons.

Finding moments throughout the day is important and a little work flexibility allows Sanders to steal extra time here and there. With the shift and sharing of caretaking to many dads, it’s also good to see so many companies being more understanding and flexible, including offering paid time off when the babies arrive and are sent home from the hospital. “I try to be home as early as possible and leave work that can wait until after they go to bed.” As the father of twins, making sure to spend time with each individually has been a key component of their parenting style. “We have discussed that this is very important. We want them to feel they are individuals, not half of “the twins” respectively.” Of course, that’s not to mention the work it takes to continue to grow and develop his relationship with his wife. Date nights, lunch dates, and evenings at home, all help keep the day-to-day activities from mounting on their relationship. “Every evening is time for us. They are in bed at 7:30, which gives us three to four hours that we both look forward to that we almost always spend doing something together.”

“It’s the only thing that matters along with my wife. Everything is for my family and kids.” Continuing to build that relationship has proven to be a significant factor for Sanders in creating the family and father he wants to be. the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

“It’s the only thing that matters along with my wife. Everything is for my family and kids.”

beating negativity

Faced with the possibility of not being able to have kids, for Sanders and his wife, being parents to multiples has been a blessing and life-changing experience. The joy and excitement of building their family has at times though, come at the expense of negativity from others. Surprises are around every corner for parents, but Sanders never expected to deal with so many negative factors from others. Comments like, ‘Oh, twins? Get ready to never sleep again,’ ‘Imagine all the diapers,’ ‘Kids? No thanks, I like to go on vacations,’ have been among the most common. However, facing negativity has

been an unexpected building and growing opportunity for the family as a whole, as they consider themselves fortunate to have this unique experience within their family unit. “People go on and on with the negative comments, especially about twins. After considering the possibility of not being able to have kids, I feel nothing but gratitude and all the remarks are so out of line to me.” Fatherhood is often a watershed moment in a man’s life, sacrificing his own happiness for that of his family and children. After decades of media perception often creating and condoning the reality many of us grew up to know and be raised within, it’s refreshing to see that fathers are changing the script and creating their own new perception. Active at schools, on

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the sidelines, playing chef and chauffeur, hosting play dates, and in the home, so many more dads are happily choosing to take on the role of “spending more time with family,” something Sanders has been waiting his whole life to experience. As a father to multiples thinking about doing everything twice and facing the critics at every turn, he doesn’t even bat an eye. “Words can’t express the sense of gratitude [I have] for the opportunity.” Chad Carter is a writer and co-founder of the website dadswhodiaper. com. He’s the father of a one year old son and husband to his fantastic wife. You can follow him on twitter.

the dr. is in:

5 facts on kids & technology It is amazing how far we have come with advances in technology and the access to 24/7 media. It is especially amazing how knowledgeable and engaged even young children are with technology and media, maneuvering iPads and cellphones and navigating websites long before anyone in our generations ever even had access. However, for parents, it can also be overwhelming in setting boundaries and rules for children, because as with anything, too much of something is not good. Here are five tips you can use to help set some rules for technology and your family: 1. No more than 1 to 2 hours of screen time a day. With the abundance of toys and outdoor activities, there are so many other things you could be doing to help occupy and entertain your children.

developing brain. 4. Become more active by watching your children’s programs and discuss with them what they are watching. Research shows that children understand and retain what they take in much more so when a parent engages alongside them. 5. Monitor your children’s choices, making sure they watch age-appropriate shows, and when possible, try to pick educational shows. Media and technology can be a wonderful, educational and entertaining tool if and when used appropriately.

*Source: American Academy of Pediatrics Dr. Preeti Parikh is a BoardCertified Pediatrician with a special interest in preventive 2. Keep electronics out of the bedroom and if medicine, advocacy and patient possible, take away screen time at least an hour education. She contributes to before bedtime to help promote good sleep. Multiplicity magazine, The Bump, and the book “What 3. For children under 2, try to avoid passive screen to Do When You Are Having time and promote physical play like reading, Two”. Outside of work, Preeti enjoys free time with her running, dancing and singing to help with their husband and wonderful twin children. 13 multiplicity the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

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12 r

Relaxation and the holiday season usually aren’t synonymous. Let’s change that with these 12 ways to find stress free moments that rejuvenate you and keep you going through all the ticker tape parades of wrapping paper, ribbons, and countless Peppermint and Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

1. Put that Smartphone to

work. We have thousands of apps out there that are available to make our lives easier. We sometimes download one and realize it isn’t useful at all and it could take some trial and error until we find which ones are right for us, but they are there. There are bill reminders, budget gadgets, emailed coupons to our phone, and even apps to store all of our annoying key chain discount cards. Taking a few moments to put our Smartphones to work for us will give us less stress trying to remember all the little details and “to- do’s” in our daily lives.

2. Take a moment to smell

the roses. Okay, maybe not roses in the fall and winter, but the great thing about smells is that it is a direct line to our

ways to relax during the holiday season by angel rodrigues

brain telling us how to think and feel about something. Come fall, all we want to smell is pumpkin, cinnamon, apples, changing leaves, nutmeg, and crisp cool air coming in begging you to put on that comfortable sweatshirt you love so much.

3. Pin away. There is a reason

why we all love Pinterest so much. It is the mental escape into the perfect world that talks to our inner child that used to fantasize about our perfect futures. Take a few minutes to escape and pin boards that you create with titles like “Where I would be right now if it weren’t for the in-laws being at my front door” and “Recipes I’d like to try if my kids would actually eat more than Cheerios and chips.” Then pin away! Start searching for those photos of places to be, how to decorate for the season, and yummy things to eat, and mentally give yourself a break from all of that reality going on around you.

4. Find a tea store. Nothing

is more relaxing than a tea drinking Zen Buddhist. With increasing popularity, tea stores are popping up all over America. With the same charm and romance that a beautiful teapot multiplicity

and cups brings, teashops can be a break from the daily grind. Once you step inside, there are usually tasting stations and knowledgeable staff to guide you through your experience. Making your way through the teas of the world can lead you through an international journey like no other. Whether you love floral, fruity, citrus, earthy, or sleepy time teas, finding relaxation in a place of Zen is a no brainer. Stuck inside? With only a few items, it’s easy enough to experiment at home!

5. Load up that iPod. Hit play and rock out. When jamming out to our favorite songs and singing to the top of our lungs (albeit a little off key), everywhere is center stage and you are the star. Taking five minutes to listen to your favorite songs and maybe even getting a little jiggy with it is the best mental health break anybody can ask for. 6. At Home Pedi/Mani with kids. Kids love to get in on the action, too and let’s be honest...if they are sitting next to you with their feet soaking in a tub of water they aren’t getting into trouble somewhere else. That in and of itself is stress relieving! Get

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a great soak together in some plastic tubs filled with warm relaxing water (adjust temp to each person) and add a handful of Epsom salts, a few drops of peppermint or lavender oil, make a pumpkin spice latte for yourself and hot cocoas for the kids. Throw on your favorite songs from a playlist on Spotify or Pandora and just chill. Kids love to share time with mom while she relaxes, and we all know that not many activities can claim both!

7. Take in a matinee. Before the

kids hit holiday vacations and are home all day sucking up valuable free time, use a school day to take a day off from work and go catch a movie. Wouldn’t it be nice to just sit and relax watching a movie without having to run to the bathroom every two minutes only to miss the important parts and feel like you wasted way too much money and way too much of your time going to the movies in the first place? Plan ahead and find the best 90-120 minutes of movie time escape.

8. Read a book. Need I say

more? The ultimate escape on the road of adventure, romance, mystery, fairytale, poetry, prose, or comedy is held within the pages of books. Sometimes we forget in contemporary society filled with e-readers, audibles and online apps that books still exist. Take yourself down to a local indie or chain bookstore and get lost for a little while. Even if it is on your lunch break, cruising a bookstore filled with great ideas, adventures, and mental escape plans is so relaxing people have been found to catch a nap or two inside those four walls. If you’re 16

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Skip the crowds and shop online. You can shop at any time of day or night in the comfort of your home and use couponing sites like Retail Me Not to help you find the best deals on hundreds of retail sites. worried you may get carried away and buy too much, then head on over to your local library. No need to worry about your wallet, as they have tons of books, not to mention free DVD and audio books to borrow.

9. Meditate. We all have heard

about the relaxing affects of mediation, but have also thought, who has time? You do, that’s who. With today’s availability of on-the-go assistants, there isn’t any excuse. There are apps you can download into your phone (which we know is everywhere you go) that will help you take just five minutes and dedicate it to something. Meditation is one of those things. There are apps to remind you to meditate, apps to play relaxing melodies while you meditate, and there are

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even apps to walk you through the steps of guided mediation. You can do it all in no time and walk away feeling refreshed.

10. Pass It On. Whenever

things are all over the place and out of control your brain automatically starts assessing what is important and what has to go. Do the same thing. What can you pass on to somebody else to do and what is essential for only you to take care of. Sometimes we think we have to do it all. I promise you, we don’t. Sometimes we don’t want to answer somebody who asks if we made that pie from scratch, with, “no, it’s store bought”. Sometimes we want to climb the tallest mountain and scream, “I am woman, hear me roar,” because we want to say we did it. We also need to

remember that sometimes it’s okay to take the ski lift to the top of the mountain and say we did and are refreshed and ready to enjoy skiing instead of being so drained we have no energy left to enjoy anything. Pass that responsibility on.

11. Shop online. One of the biggest stressors during the holiday season is fighting crowds. Skip that altogether and shop online at home, in your pajamas, with that glass of wine, after the kids go to sleep. You will thank me.

12. Enjoy the power of touch. No, we don’t all have the time or money to get an hour-long, professionally spine manipulated massage, but we do all have access to a mall. Every mall has a Brookstones or anything of its like that has those wonderful massage chairs. The sales people know that 90% of the people “just browsing” are never going to buy one of those chairs, but for a few minutes they are not going to really care if you use the chair to catch a mini massage. Don’t over stay your welcome and you’ll be fine. Also, some malls have the chairs that you can pay $1 into and get the same 5 minute massage without the sales person staring at you for cutting into their commission. If neither of those ideas work for you, don’t forget your kids or your significant other. Pay them in stickers (or whatever currency motivates) and tell them to get to work on those knotted up mommy shoulders or there will be no dessert tonight!

super

MOM

sponsored by

Recognize a Super MOM today! We are partnering with MAM to recognize 12 of the most outstanding moms of multiples around the the world. To nominate a Mom by telling us why she should be one of our Super MoMs. The chosen Super MoM of the month will receive a $50 SpaFinder Gift Card. Even Super Woman needs a day off every now and then!

Thanks to MAM for partnering with us and congrats to our recent winners!

tamara

l i sa

laur ie

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for all things multiples..

No matter which idea tickles your fancy, remembering to take the time to relax this holiday season is just as important as remembering to put gas in your car to get from one crazy holiday even to the next. Without gas that car isn’t going anywhere. Without a refreshed, whole feeling, for an apple spiked cider filled mom, the holidays aren’t going to happen. Happy Holidays!

Fall 2014

celebrate fall with the family

special insert!

‘14

Holiday Guide

Angel has a feminist brain, a thirst for knowledge, and writing is her dirty little secret. She is mom to a 7 year old, 4 year old twins, and a 2 year old. She has been married to the best man on earth for over 14 years and is kept alive by coffee. You can follow her blog or find her on Facebook and Twitter. multiplicity

grief during

a season of joy

easy ways to

trim the fat

at the holidays www.multiplicitymag.com

now in print!

relaxing during the holidays?

it can be done!

you & your birth plan

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KEEP CALM AND

FIGHT

by talitha a. mcguinness

Your kids are back in school, they’re doing their homework with little resistance, getting along with their peers, and they have great reviews from the teacher. Things are going swimmingly and then you get the dreaded call from the school nurse that your child has lice. What the what? Of course, it’s only natural to begin immediately itching all over and of course, you have a million and one questions as to how it happened. Just breathe and get yourself under control so that you can scoop your kiddo and get down to business of researching how to eliminate these pesky little bugs. Whether it’s your first bout with the creepy crawlies or the third, here are some tidbits to help you through the process. You’re not dirty. First, let it be known that getting lice does not mean that you and your family are lacking in the good hygiene department. In fact, research shows that lice prefer clean hair because their nits or eggs stick to the clean hair strand much better (which is why we have a shampoo every 2-3 days rule in our house, which I’ll talk more about shortly). Don’t play the blame game. It does no good to try and figure out where, how, and who, as that has the potential to 18

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inflict unnecessary shame on the child affected. However, there are certain peak times of the year when lice seem to come out and play, and those revolve around summer camps and school starting back. Lice really get around. Despite our worst fears, they don’t fly and they don’t jump. They literally crawl from hair strand to hair strand and they are fast. One live bug can lay up to nine nits (eggs) in one day. It can take up to 1 week for these eggs to hatch and you can only imagine the ensuing nightmare on your little ones’ head if the bugs aren’t stopped immediately. Research shows they can live up to 30 days if not treated. Girls rule, boys drool. If you’re a mom of boys, rejoice, as lice typically prefer girls. The theory here is that girls have longer hair and are much more likely to share brushes, hair accessories and hats, and are more prone to have their hair hanging over their desks when working, etc. (all of which should be included as no-no’s in the talks you’ll need to have with your daughters). Lice are little vampires. They can only survive on human blood (which is what causes all the itching), so don’t worry about their lifespan or impact on dolls and stuffies. They can only survive 2 days without a victim. It is also said that they prefer a certain blood type, so if your kiddos have had repeat occurances, this could be why. We had an unfortunate experience a few years ago where both of my girls got lice. I was at my wits’ end with what to do and did what most moms do…we bought an over the counter kit to treat it at home. We quickly learned

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that some products are overkill. First of all, it is back-breaking work to shampoo the hair, apply the treating foam, and then spend what seems like an eternity picking through your child’s hair with a fine-toothed comb, section by section, to be certain you have removed all nits. In our experience, the chemicals were extremely toxic and wreaked havoc on one of my little girls’ heads. She literally had burns to her scalp for days and guess what? We still had the lice. Research is showing that many of the over the counter products are said to no longer work because lice are becoming resistant to them. Super! So what’s a parent to do? If you can afford it, call in the pros. There are now companies all over that will drive to your home to check and treat anyone affected. Depending on the size of your family, it can take anywhere from 1-3 hours with an average cost of about $150. I also love that they use all natural products to treat and prevent the bugs. The best part is that they walk you through the process of disinfecting everything, they leave the product with you, and they have a 30 day window where they will revisit if necessary. There are also hair treatment salons that go through a similar treating process, using product and heat therapy to eliminate the problem. However, this route can be even more costly and still requires some treatment from you at home to complete the process. f you don’t have the disposable income, I highly recommend the Fairy Tales line of products (which is what many of the pros use). They are usually infused with rosemary, peppermint, or tea tree oil, all of which are said to repel lice. Babo Botanicals also carries a Lice Repel Shampoo and Conditioning Spray for the same purpose. If you’re into essential oils, you can also use a little peppermint oil behind each ear before they head to school each day, but be sure to remember to apply it with a little coconut oil or other carrier oil so that it doesn’t burn the skin (peppermint oil can have a very strong tingling sensation, often more bothersome on little ones). The point is to be patient and use the situation as a teaching lesson of how sometimes an unfortunate event happens and we just have to multiplicity

deal with it. Also be sure to immediately wash whatever garments they’re wearing at the time and any towels you use while treating/cleaning. Of course, for daily shampooing, there are other brands like Suave and OGX that carry Rosemary Mint, Coconut Mint and Tea Tree products that will work just the same. With our girls only washing every 2-3 days, they often use a dry shampoo in between, just to keep that clean smell and feel. The important thing is to get rid of the bugs and nits through treatment and then to use a daily spray (some are detangling which is a double win!) that will help prevent a reoccurrence when they’re at school, camp, daycare, etc. When it comes to disinfecting everything else, hot and cold temps are key. As bizarre as it sounds, brushes and combs, headbands, etc. can be placed in a plastic baggie and then placed in the freezer overnight. All bedding, pillows and stuffed animals can either be placed in the dryer on high heat for 30 minutes, or bagged and sealed in a trash bag and placed outside on a really hot day. The point is to suffocate anything that may be alive and looking for its next target. I know of no one that wants to be the bearer of this bad news, but it’s important that you share your news with the school, camp, daycare, etc. If nothing else, it will ensure that they conduct a routine check on everyone to be sure the problem is nipped in the bud. Just know that if you fail to do this and another child is dealing with the same issues, your child could easily end up with another outbreak, which results in more time and money for you. No one wants a repeat, so it’s best to own up and move on. It’s also necessary to talk with your kids and stress the importance of not sharing hats, brushes and other hair accessories. If you have girls with longer hair, use either headbands or elastic bands to keep their hair pulled back and from falling onto their desks, other people’s desks, etc. When it comes to lice, it’s definitely a bug’s life and it’s so easy to get frustrated over the process of elimination. Just treat the problem, have a prevention plan in place and get back to snuggling your little ones before they’re too big to let you! the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

a birth plan

for twins planning the impossible?

by julie mccaffrey 20

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Creating a birth plan in preparation for the arrival of your multiples is a great tool to ensure you and your partner are on the same page with regard to desires for your labor experience. Writing your birth plan will allow you to think through options like pain management and the environment in your birthing room while you arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t in the midst of the excitement of your pending arrivals. Even if you never formalize your birth plan and have your physician sign it, you can feel comfortable knowing your partner will be familiar enough with your plan and able to advocate on your behalf when the time comes. While you may spend countless hours dreaming and specifying what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like, a birth plan is just that...your desire for a certain birth experience. It is important to realize that with twins or more, there is a possibility of things arising completely out of your control that may not allow for each part of the experience to happen as you hoped or planned. Try to be flexible and open to recommendations from your physician, midwife and even your labor coach or doula if you have them, as you go

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through your labor journey. Don’t be disappointed if your labor doesn’t go completely according to plans, but instead, try to focus on the miracle of delivering multiple babies at once...a feat some women can only dream of! Follow these helpful hints in writing an effective and realistic birth plan: 1. Make sure you do your research before you start writing. Read other birth plans and finish your child birth education class so you have an idea of what your personal preferences are and what your real options are. This data collection will also help you understand what isn’t really realistic or negotiable based on your labor setting. 2. Keep it brief! Labor and delivery nurses are busy, so try keeping it short and to the point. Think about the tips you learned when you first wrote your resume; use bullet points, keep it to 2 pages and highlight what you really want the person reading it to know about you. 3. Keep it realistic. This is a birth plan and certainly your desires for the journey, but unfortunately, we can’t actually write our labor and delivery experiences ahead of time. Instead of saying “Under no circumstances should I be asked if I would like an epidural”, consider “I would like to labor without the support of pain management as long as possible”. If this is your first labor and delivery, you may change your mind when those contractions really start to ramp up. However, if this is round 2 or 3 for you, you may already

know that you don’t want the pain management support. 4. Don’t state the obvious. Take notes on your hospital tour and from your visits with your OBGYN on what the hospital policies are. For example, if you are in a BabyFriendly Hospital, there is no need to spend time in your birth plan describing your desire to have your baby share your room at all times. 5. Include your fears and concerns. You may have a fear of needles, a real desire for discretion during the labor and delivery process, or a number of other concerns that may not be obviously labor-related, but these are good concerns about which your nurses and doctor should be aware whenever they approach you on D-day. 6. Consider your preferences for the early stages of labor, active labor and after labor. This is a great time to familiarize yourself with each stage, what happens when, for about how long, etc. Include your desires for the atmosphere in the room, labor preferences such as walking freely, or the amount of intervention you are comfortable with, your desire for or lack of using pain medications during labor, your delivery preferences for both a c-section and vaginal delivery, and your hopes for feeding and care once your babies arrive. 7. Review it with your partner, your doula, your OBGYN and anyone on your birth team before heading to the hospital. Allow them to all multiplicity

ask questions and clarify any of your desires so there are no questions or concerns later. When D-day arrives, you want everyone on the same page to the extent possible. 8. Don’t push off writing your plan until the end of your pregnancy. Even without complications, twins often arrive around 37 weeks and triplets at 34 weeks. It is best to have your birth plan written before that time to ensure you can express each of your desires. 9. Take time to write a plan for your first days at home. This doesn’t need to be shared with your care givers, but it is a good idea to talk through with your partner before the babies arrive. Discuss how you plan to tackle household duties, if you are breastfeeding, how you would like feeding support, and if you require a c-section, any accommodations you will need at home. Just like your birth plan, this plan may go out the window once home, but sharing your fears, concerns and desires with your partner and team players ahead of time can avoid many frustrations later. Julie McCaffrey is a mommy to 3 kids, including one set of twins. Julie owns BabyNav Baby Planners where she offers personalized consultation to new and expecting parents. She is a modern baby gear expert and loves to help moms and dads navigate everything from baby gear to preparing for multiples, to getting back to work and getting the whole family on a routine. Follow her on Facebook or check her out at www. babynavbabyplanners.com.

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Let’s connect.

Because it has become such a “hushed” and taboo subject, men and women often grieve quietly, without ever sharing their story of loss. Thousands of women have likely never opened up to anyone because they’ve been made to feel that their pregnancy was inadequate, that they can “try again”, and worse, that their baby was “invisible”, as many women never even receive a birth certificate at the hospital when delivering a stillbirth (only 25 states provide them). It’s time to share our stories of grief. It’s time to validate what society has told us should remain in shadows. If you have experienced a loss, share your story with a friend or family member. Consider writing to your local media, offering your experience to support other women who have shared your same or similar journey. Advocate for your babies --- contact your local congressional representatives First Candle, a national support and urge them to continue efforts on behalf of babies and organization dedicated to advocating for safe pregnancies families. Click here for steps in getting a proclamation and the survival of babies from your Governor. If you’re through the first year of life, feeling especially brave, share provides these statistics: your story on social media • 50% of these deaths occur at or outlets so that others can near full term and often seem to embrace your loss and better be otherwise healthy babies. understand your grief. • The majority of stillbirths (85%) Every time we share our story, occur before delivery, with 15 it puts a face on the baby percent occurring during labor that we never held in our and delivery. arms, sung to sleep at night, • It is estimated that nearly or watched take their first two-thirds of all stillbirth step. We make it real. Join deaths remain unexplained. organizations like Faces of Loss Researchers feel that this is in putting a face to Pregnancy more likely due to a failure to and Infant Loss. Let’s share this investigate the deaths, rather journey together in hopes of than a medical mystery. finding an end.

pregnancy & infant loss awareness

by the mom squad

While October is covered in pink each year, there is another, equally prevalent issue, that is rarely a topic of conversation. Pregnancy and infant loss affects 1 in every 4 women of every age, socioeconomic class, and race across America; it does not discriminate. Women who experience pregnancy and infant loss are full of mixed emotions --- sadness for a life that never came to full fruition, grief of all that was lost, guilt that they did something to cause the death, and sadly, they are even discouraged by family and friends when talking about the issue. If they successfully conceive later, family and friends wander why they can’t just move on and forget. Of course, men are impacted by this loss just as deeply.

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BOO!

x 2

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when it comes to costumes, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a wonderland of options out there! the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

ALICE in

WONDERLAND

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y of made photo courtes

a very nice cup of tea, indeed!

photo courtesy of etsy site

wilma & fred 26

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photo courtesy of pinterest

Raggedy Ann 27

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& Andy

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photo courtesy of etsy site

Hansel & gretel 28

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Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum multiplicity

photo courtesy of marleeju

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hope for the holidays

a guide to blending grief & joy

by cheri timmons, lcsw

The holidays are considered to be a time of excitement and joyful celebration. But for families whose lives have changed through loss, it can be a series of anxious days, tearful thoughts and shadowed hope. At any time of the year, the death of a child is a traumatic loss that alters everything in life for a parent. Nothing looks the same, you feel uncomfortable in your own skin, and you wonder how life continues on around you. When the holidays come into view, grieving parents are faced with the challenge of how to navigate a time of year that is traditionally focused on family togetherness. Where are the blaring television commercials advertising how to survive the holidays without your loved one? For parents who have experienced the loss of a pregnancy, infant or child, the holiday season can feel physically, emotionally and mentally overwhelming. The world around you encourages participation in joy of the season, but you are surrounded by sights, sounds and 30

multiplicity

smells that spark memories of your loved one. At holiday time, grieving parents are faced with the question: Is it possible to grieve and celebrate at the same time? Although no simple guidelines exist that will remove the intense pain of losing a child, the following may serve as a roadmap to help parents better cope with their grief during a time of year that is joyous, as well as painful.

share your story

Although most parents receive genuine support from family and friends following the loss of a pregnancy, infant or child, after time passes, some parents find that outreach and validation from others decreases. It can be helpful to identify caring people in your life who understand and support you and where you are along your grief journey, especially during the holidays. Losing a child can be very isolating and lonely. Sharing your story can help to reduce this isolation. Retelling your story of love and loss, especially to those you trust, is an important way to express

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and process what you are feeling. Each time you share your story, it may be different, which reflects the grief work you are doing. As the holidays approach, spend time with those who realize that your sense of loss is greater this time of year, and without judgment will listen when you need to talk about your child and what it is like to not have him or her with you this holiday season.

explore your reactions

It was once thought that grief progressed in stages with a different emotion distinguishing each stage from the next. Currently, grief is better understood as a complex process that is unique for each person. Even for mothers and fathers who have lost the same child, their grief reactions will naturally appear unique, as men and women express their grief differently. Following the death of a child, grieving parents experience numerous cognitive, physical and emotional changes (difficulty concentrating, fatigue, muscle pain, feelings of anxiety, resentment, or depression, among others). Take time to recognize the changes and reactions you are experiencing. Make a list by doing a head-to-toe body scan. Ask yourself: Do I have pain or tightness behind my eyes? Is my jaw tight? Are my neck or shoulder muscles tense? Move down through your body noticing other physical changes and write down your findings. Likewise, take note of your emotional and cognitive reactions, as well. Having this information

written down serves as an indication of the grief reactions you are experiencing as the holidays approach. It also allows you to track increasing or decreasing symptoms, acknowledge the impact your loss has on your life, and take active steps to manage the intensity of these reactions.

strategies for the holidays Although it may feel difficult to tend to your own needs at this time, focusing on the basics can help keep you healthy and resilient during the holidays. Fuel up on healthy, energy sustaining foods – choose water or unsweetened iced tea. Reduce sugar intake with more vegetables, protein (almonds, sunflower seeds), and legumes (edamame, lentils).

each time you share your story, it may be different, reflecting the grief work you are doing...spend time with those who realize your sense of loss is greater this time of year. Get enough rest – grief is emotionally draining and the holidays can demand even more from you. Finding it difficult to fall asleep? Take a warm bath, play relaxing music, or place a lavender scented cotton multiplicity

ball inside your pillow case to take advantage of this herb’s relaxing qualities. Engage in physical activity – being active can help decrease stress and other grief symptoms. Take a walk at a nearby park, climb the stairs, do yoga, or park at the farthest end of the lot and walk the distance. Journal – whether handwritten or on your laptop, journaling provides a private space to express your thoughts and feelings. Also consider expressing your emotions through sketches or paintings. Avoid making major decisions alone – following the death of a child, many decisions are necessary. Consider engaging close family or friends to support you in making such difficult choices.

remember your child

When someone we love dies, our memories of them become a gift. Remember and honor your child by including his or her name in your holiday conversations. Invite family members and friends to share what they remember about your child from past holiday celebrations. This may develop into a new holiday tradition as a way to honor the love and lives of those who have passed away. Also, give your family permission to create new traditions that are more realistic and comforting. Consider making a special ornament every year. Perhaps your family could donate a toy to a needy child or money to a special cause in your child’s memory.

connect with others

While each bereaved parent’s

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loss and grief experience is unique, it can be helpful to connect with other grieving parents. Strong bonds can develop with those who mutually understand, validate and support your loss, carrying you forward in your healing. Organizations within your own community may offer resources specific to parents of child loss. For example, Heartstrings®, Inc., a North Carolina non-profit organization, offers peer-based support programs connecting parents for grief support, bereavement education, and encouragement following the loss of a pregnancy, infant or child. Online support groups such as those found on Facebook, are another way in which parents are seeking connection, validation and hope in the loss community.

As you and your family navigate this holiday season, it is important to remember that it does not have to be perfect. It will look and feel very different because your loved one is not there with you. Take time to grieve, take time to find joy, and take time to honor the life and love of your precious child. Cheri Timmons is an LCSW, working as Director of Support Services with Heartstrings, a non-profit providing peer-based support to bereaved parents. Following her own pregnancy loss, she seeks to support other parents on their journey towards healing and hope. She finds each day a wonderful adventure with her husband and 5 year old son.

about

heartstrings Heartstrings Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support was born out of the personal loss of twin infants, Michael and Zachary, by Tracey Holyfield of Greensboro, N.C. in 2004. As she struggled through the months that followed the loss of her boys, Tracey became determined that no one should have to face the loss of their baby alone. The Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Group was the first program offered by the organization. Today, Heartstrings offers 6-8 12week support groups annually in the Triad area. To learn more, visit their online site.

A TWIN?

DEALING WITH THE CHALLENGES OF BEING

“The Same but Different presents a stunning, in-depth look at the lives of adult twins as they face the twin challenges of closeness and independence, love and resentment in their evolving relations with each other.” —Nancy L. Segal, PhD, author of Born Together—Reared Apart “Not only is The Same but Different a mustread for adult twins, it is an invaluable resource for the parents of younger twins who want to start their same-age children on the road to a healthy relationship in the future.”

take the guessing out of registering for your

twins!

—Lauren Apfel, PhD, blogger “Omnimom”

Rocky Pines Press • 192 pages • $15.95 • ISBN: 978-0-9893464-3-6

AVA ILA B LE F RO M YO UR LO C AL B O O KSTO RE O R AM AZO N. CO M

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Baby Gear Guide 2014 don't miss it!

the buzz

twin tested... MOM approved!

the scoop on things worth giving

a try

bubble bum

Convenient, space-saving and affordable. These are just a few words that describe the Bubble Bum, a new booster seat that literally helps take the guesswork out of configuring your bench when you need 3 boosters across (and many of us moms with multiples and then some are in this boat!). Most boosters are too wide and bulky, and when you need to pull them in and out to use in other cars, are just too heavy to maneuver easily. The seat inflates when needed and provides a nice “boost” or cushion to give the kids that extra height for visibility and for the shoulder belts. It also meets all safety regulations and includes safety harnesses that attach to the seatbelt to ensure it is properly installed. They deflate for travel and storage and come with their own travel bag, too. These seats are also perfect if you’re the mom in charge of carpool...no more borrowing carseats to transport the neighborhood kids required. If your kids weigh at least 40 lbs. or more, the Bubble Bum makes you wander why you didn’t get them sooner! ~ talitha

booginhead’s pack’ems

I am one of those moms who insists on packing a healthy, wholesome lunch each day for my kids to take to school. Do they always eat it? Well, I can’t control everything, right?!? Since what I pack is important, I also place importance on what their food is served in. I like products that make my hectic life a little simpler (that lessen my carbon footprint, too). These Pack’Ems do the job toting anything from sandwiches and veggies, to fruit and even dry cereal for the little one. They are easy to clean with just a wet dishcloth and then let air dry. The closure is durable and strong, but is easy to open by all of my littles’ hands. With 4 kids to put through school, I like knowing that Pack’Ems will be in our family for a long time! ~ talitha

kind bars

With my newfound love of working out and healthy(ier) eating (nearly 4 months of waking at 5am to attend a bootcamp style class and seeing great results!), I love that I have a go-to snack when craving something sweet. I can easily and without guilt, grab a Kind bar to satisfy my craving, as they are loaded with nuts, whole grains and natural foods. So many other health bars end up with a cardboard texture leaving you wanting something else. With only 5g of sugar, 6g of protein or more, tons of health benefits (who doesn’t love knowing they’ll have more energy?), and being able to pronounce all of the ingredients, Kind bars are a great snack for home, office or on the go. They come in a variety of flavors, including Dark Chocolate Nuts and Sea Salt, Fruit and Nut, Peanut Butter Dark Chocolate, and Cranberry Almond. Whether you’re looking for a new health food or just want a delicious snack (that’s good for you, too!), give Kind a try and you’ll see the difference. ~ talitha multiplicity

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t navigating the holidays in an

interfaith house by jessica therivel

his year, like many years, our house is going to be facing a not uncommon holiday event --- the overlap of Christmas and Hanukkah. This dual holiday celebration is experienced by many families, so I know we are not alone, though in some school settings, it still has felt that way. Every family needs to make their own personal decision about how to reconcile holiday celebrations and traditions when there is more than one religion in the household. For many families, this may mean choosing just one religion to celebrate and while there is nothing wrong with that choice, it just wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t our choice. Blending faiths does not always mean two faiths are coming together. There could be similar conflicts or issues even if one half of the couple is atheistic or agnostic. There are very strong opinions out there which can go to extreme viewpoints, so know that I simply want to share what has worked for us. I have 40 years of experience with navigating two religions at once. I grew up in an interfaith household with a Jewish mother and a Protestant father, so dual celebrations are nothing new. When facing the same situation with my twins, I had some ideas of what worked for me growing up and how my parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; efforts to expose me to both religions helped me make my own decisions in adolescence and adulthood about what religious and spiritual influences to incorporate into my own life. However, trying to honor two faiths can easily result in backlash from either community when new family traditions seem to go against cultural expectations of practice. Families need to be prepared for this and stand firm with their choices.

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My first suggestion is to have this conversation about holidays and celebrations sooner than later. Ideally, it should take place before marriage and definitely before children. These were important discussions that my husband and I had to start to map out a plan for our family unit. This included a long discussion about traditions from our own childhood and what was important to us growing up with holiday celebrations. We talked about what we would do when the holidays overlapped, as they often do, and what new traditions we wanted to start together. In what I consider the most important step, we took time to talk to both our families and fill them in on what we planned to do with our yet-to-be-born children. We expressed respect for the way those family members had always celebrated, but made sure it was clear that we were setting some new traditions for our family.

Each holiday needs its own time and attention. We have a menorah that we light candles for, sing the prayers, make latkes, play dreidel, and open gifts. We have a Christmas tree, stockings, and also a wooden Advent house from Germany which we use while singing a German song about opening the windows each night of Advent. So far, our children have seemed to take it all in stride. What has helped them is that when they have been in a school setting with few if any other children who are interfaith or Jewish, we have been able to talk to the class about Hannukah and have a game of dreidel. We have prepared the girls on how to answer questions from classmates about what they do for the holidays, but being in the classroom helps ensure that their classmates understand about this side of the girls’ celebrations.

my parents’ efforts to expose me to both religions helped me make my own decisions in adolescence and adulthood about what religious influences to incorporate into my own life. I think another important decision that a family needs to make is, for each holiday, make a decision on the religious aspects vs. the cultural traditions that are going to be practiced or celebrated. We decided to explain the religious meaning to both Christmas and Hanukkah while sharing our personal beliefs with our girls from an early age. We taught them the story of the Maccabees and the meaning behind Hanukkah and also explained the religious reasons that Christmas is celebrated while emphasizing to them that this is a decision they can make as they get older for themselves. It is also possible to find commonalities between the two holidays and celebrate their meaning. For example, both holidays involve a light-based miracle. For Christmas, this is the star that guided the Magi to Bethlehem whereas for Hanukkah, it is the burning oil that burned for eight nights. Rituals are important to children and establishing rituals around the holidays even more so. However, I do think it is important to keep the rituals and traditions separate. We do not hang Jewish themed ornaments on our tree; we don’t use Christmas wrapping paper on Hanukkah presents; we don’t use Hanukkah colored lights. multiplicity

Time in the classroom makes our twins feel that the Jewish holiday is important even if it is in fewer store windows or holiday parties, and helps all the children learn that Hannukah is not just about receiving eight presents, which is often all they know. We also found some great books that cover the topic of interfaith households, like My Two Holidays: A Hanukkah and Christmas Story by Danielle Novack and Light the Lights: A Story about Celebrating Hanukkah and Christmas by Margaret Moorman. In 2013, I had the first time challenge of combining the start of Hanukkah with Thanksgiving. Where is the book for that?!? I fully recognize that as they get older and are able to think more abstractly, my twins’ interfaith life will become more complicated. My husband and I will stay flexible and try to continue to teach them about both sides of their family while helping them to receive outside religious instruction if they are interested in doing so. In the meantime, I feel like being able to enjoy multiple cultures and traditions at this time of year is creating unique, long-lasting memories for both of them, encouraging holiday rituals that they may one day choose to pass along to their own children. the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

fit tips

by mike hartshorne 36

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for the most tempting time of the year

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The holiday season is officially in full swing and that means months of parties, food, gifts, and fun to enjoy with all of your loved ones. However, in the midst of all the craziness that the holidays can bring, it is easy to forget about your health and fitness goals. Burn Bootcamp, Charlotte’s fitness powerhouse for women, rolls out programs and healthy eating tips for their clients so that they can resist the urge to splurge. Devan Kline (founder of Burn Bootcamp) and his entourage of personal trainers, offers 9 healthy tips for the holidays to make sure you stay on your nutrition and exercise schedule.

1. Holiday 1/2 P late Rule - This is

my favorite, which is why it is number one! When you are at a potluck or Christmas party, choose to eat your dinner off of a dessert plate or a plate with a small circumference. By choosing a plate half the normal size, you automatically cut your calories in half while still getting the satisfaction of having cleaned your plate (and enjoying the treat!).

2. Eat More = Move More – When you eat more, you have to keep moving your body. Enjoy yourself and “intelligently indulge”, but just know that when you intake extra calories, you need to expend extra calories. Everyone is busy, but you can find 15-30 minutes in their day to do some exercise.

3. Flip the Switch - So you go to

an awesome work party on a Friday night. You maybe have a glass of wine (or 2 or 3!), and sneak a piece of chocolate cake, too. You tell the host how delicious it was and they insist

that you take it home with you at the end of the night. Of course, you do not want to be rude so you agree. This is where flipping the switch comes in. It is by far the hardest thing for me to do, but if I practice, it carries over into all aspects of life. Friday night potluck = cake is okay (Holiday Season Only). You don’t need to indulge the rest of the weekend and gain the extra weight. Throw it away on the way in the house!

4. Avoid Evil Eggnog - If there is one thing that you had to give up over the holidays, please let it be eggnog. One glass of this stuff can pack quite a punch at 300 calories or more (with 21 grams of fat and 180 mg of Cholesterol in every serving). Avoid the evil eggnog and save yourself the “I knew I shouldn’t have done that last night” feeling.

5. Pick Your Potluck - When you

attend your potlucks or Christmas parties, bring a healthy dish to pass around. There are plenty of healthy options that still taste amazing! If you haven’t checked into any Paleo recipes, the Paleo Plan or Everyday Paleo are two good resources for tasty and perfectly healthy food ideas.

6. Know Your Trigger Food - Trigger

foods are dangerous. You’ll have to be honest with yourself on this one. What are the foods that you eat that seem to be followed by more unhealthy food? For me, it’s Chocolate Chip pancakes. After eating them, I have a craving for sugar for the next 48 hours. Avoid your trigger foods at all costs during the holidays.

7. Eat More Often - This tip has a very fine line. Eat more often means put food into your mouth more frequently, not indulge in multiplicity

an unlimited amount of calories throughout the day. Eat little meals all day long to keep your metabolism fired up. If you are at a party, pick the top 4 healthiest things and snack on those instead of cookies. If you can simply stay away from processed sugars at parties you will be in good shape!

8. Before and After P hotos - Take a before photo today to give yourself some accountability. If you know that you are taking an after picture on January 1st, you will be much more likely to hold out over the holidays. Make sure that both pictures are taken at the exact same angle, and show a substantial amount of skin! 9. Talk Yourself Into Eating Healthy -

Tell 10 people that you are going to lose weight over the holidays. Post it on Facebook, Tweet it, Pin it on Pinterest, email, text, etc. until you get 10 people that will hold you accountable. It is human nature to not want to let ourselves and other people down. By letting your goals be public, you are much more likely to succeed. Try (and share!) these tips for success with keeping the weight off this Holiday Season! Mike Hartshorne is an owner/trainer at BBC where he caters workouts in a group setting and incorporates different types of exercises to keep the workouts fast paced. Workouts range from high intensity interval training (HIIT), bursting, metabolic conditioning, plyometrics, strength training, agility, cardio, and full body conditioning. To learn more, visit their website and connect with them on facebook.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

and then came twins by tracey baron

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

his past summer my husband and I celebrated 5 years of marriage. I would hesitate to use the word blissful for those 5 years because in so many ways it wasn’t. I guess crazy and beautiful would be the best way to explain it! Our story begins shortly after our first anniversary when I finally saw that plus sign we had so anxiously been awaiting. We had heard of miscarriage, and we had even heard of infertility, but in no way did we have any idea that what we would experience was even possible. Sadly, like the first positive test, the next four also ended in miscarriage. Three years and five miscarriages and not a single doctor could tell us why. It consumed our lives and we found that as many people were supportive of it, so many more said hurtful things that caused a rift in many relationships. After a doctor finally told us that our chances of conceiving successfully were practically nonexistent, we decided emotionally we could not handle anymore and chose to adopt. I came from an adoptive family, so while it was always in our plans, we just needed to move up the timeline a bit. We began saving money, prepping our house for the home studies, and dove in head first. I sat up nightly picturing in my head what it would be like to get “The Call”, and be handed our child for the first time. The day it happened was just like any other except that my husband was about 6 states away and the day before, I had really accepted that maybe we weren’t meant to be parents. I had even looked up travel plans for overseas since we had set aside such a 39

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large amount of money. During the phone conversation, our amazing adoption coordinator told us there was a little girl born 3 months early and we had 10 minutes to let them know if it was a possibility for us. I called my husband, we swallowed our fears, and within two weeks, we were on our way to meeting our daughter for the first time. She stayed in the NICU for 2 months and when she was released, we made the 15 hour drive home. We set up her health care support team and proceeded to tackle her medical issues from home with the support of our families. Our lives were perfect; we finally had our family. Little did we know that God has an amazing sense of humor. While sitting in the doctor’s office at one of the many appointments for our daughter, I sat staring at the forehead thermometer I was playing with showing 99.8 and told my husband before I even took the test that I was pregnant again.

I had to overcome my fears of miscarriage and other complications. I called the local OB/GYN, surpassing the specialist, and went in with a new doctor in the office. He was amazing! He sat and talked with us, got me set up on a daily regimen of baby aspirin and progesterone (both of which had never been suggested before), and helped ease my fears of raising two babies. After two early monitoring ultrasounds, it was finally time to see a heartbeat.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

I accepted two things before we had all three home: I will never sleep again and alone time will come in very small intervals, but to embrace it because all three of them go through these stages together, and quickly. There, at my third ultrasound, we found out it was twins. I freaked, to say the least! There were times that panic attacks hit me so hard and fast, there was no calming me down. I had to overcome fears of miscarriage, late stage loss, and other complications along the road, as my girls were mono-di, and to say I had a poor history when it came to pregnancy would be an understatement. I had to deal with the fact that I felt guilty that my oldest would feel like she was somehow not enough. Then there was trauma of having just left the NICU from one baby, and facing the fact that there was a strong possibility of us being there once again. To what degree was simply a guess at this point, but certainly an area of stress and concern as we counted down the days until they would arrive. In the middle of all of this, I was raising my daughter who was just a baby herself. I have to say I am not proud of how I handled my fears at times, but I now know from others who have been on a similar journey that it was in fact completely normal to freak out! After a pregnancy that left me ill from start to finish, my second and third child were born two weeks before my oldest’s first birthday. We officially had turned from a couple struggling with infertility for four years into parents with three children, all within one year! Talk about a major life change! Despite all odds, I prepared for the girls’ homecoming the entire pregnancy. We had planned out our home like a daycare. We wanted a home where all three could interact safely, and that Early Childhood degree I never used finally came in very handy. Pinterest became my new best friend. The more we made it through challenges, the more confidence we built. I can say we struggled within our marriage and faltered at parenting, but we kept rolling with change, after change, after change. I learned very quickly the importance of taking care of myself, too. I added in a daily workout time and meal planned so that we ate healthy meals, and 40

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I hired a good friend to help with cleaning. We did everything this past year that a family with one baby would have done, never missing a beat. We went on trips to the zoo, the waterpark, festivals, fairs, and even a hiking adventure. Our last challenge, a family vacation, we are hoping to conquer in February. There are family meals, reading time, walks, trips to the grocery store, and occasionally crafts (when I have the patience to allow the mess and the energy to clean it up!). I’ve learned that letting them play by themselves is actually good for them, as well as for us. As we near the one year mark, they are starting to find a lot of the same activities entertaining and that’s going to be a saving grace as we head into the three-toddlers-at-once stage. They laugh and play, and love to crawl all over daddy and mommy and each other. The oldest has learned their names and calls out for her sisters all the time. We juggle physical therapy for one of the twins and speech for my oldest, as well as our jobs. I keep one step ahead because I know if I don’t, I will eventually fall many steps behind. When people ask how I deal with it, my response is that I accepted two things before we had them home: I will never sleep again and alone time will come in very small intervals! We are currently organizing the girls’ birthday party, which they will all be celebrating together! These past two years have humbled us and made us into stronger people than we ever imagined. We know we have a long way to go, but we will make it. We will handle everything with a motto that is plastered on our walls and in our hearts, “All you need is love.” Tracey is a mom of 3 and works parttime. She is actively involved in charity work for Ronald Mcdonald House and the NICUs in her area. She enjoys cooking, sewing, and crafting with her kids. For questions on adoption, infertility, or raising 3 under 1, you can email her directly for support.

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multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

17 family to enjoy fall simple ways for your

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

by the mom squad

If ever there is a time to get outside and enjoy, it is surely the fall season. The air is clear, the leaves are beautiful and the slight chill in the air in the mornings and at dusk feels wonderful! While the holidays will be here before we know it, here are some fun ideas to get your family in the spirit of fall.

1 Go camping. You can make

this as simple or as complex as you’d like, popping up a tent in your own backyard, or exploring campsites nearby or far away. This time of year, my family loves to camp in the mountains, where days are cool, and nights even cooler, which is perfect for evening family time by the fire ring.

2 Take a hike. Again, if you

live in more rural areas, take advantage of the unbeaten paths or venture to the mountains to explore waterfalls and sights you don’t see as often.

3 Go apple picking. There’s

nothing like taking full advantage of a beautiful fall day by visiting a local apple orchard. Sure, the grocery stores are full of them, but there’s just something about watching your child pick them from a tree that makes all the difference (and I swear they taste better, too!). Plus, you may even be able to take advantage of varieties your stores don’t carry. Cameo, Fuji, and Pink Lady, oh, my!

Make homemade applesauce. If you and your kids love applesauce, you have to try making it yourself. Simply core and cut about 15 apples (a variety works well), and then toss them in your crockpot with

a little cinnamon (2 cinnamon sticks are fine, too), and 1 cup of water. Cook on low for 6-7 hours and just enjoy the smell that takes over your home! When finished, puree to the consistency you desire and then store in the refrigerator or freezer until ready to use.

5 Find a festival. These can

vary from local arts and crafts festivals to those featuring apples and pumpkins, Oktoberfest, or my favorite, the Renaissance festival. It’s always fun to take a walk back in time and enjoy seeing the royal court, the jousting and court jesters, hear the music played, and sample the food (it’s pretty heavenly!).

Decorate the house. Get your kids involved with putting out the pumpkins and mums, hanging the multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

ahead. The seemingly quiet and uninterrupted time with your kids will be priceless.

Make a “thankful” craft. You can cut out leaves and let your kids write the things they are thankful for on them and display in a large jar, or even tape them to a tree you cut out for your door. The main idea here is to show ways to express grateful hearts.

Visit a pumpkin patch. Just like picking apples, there’s something innately fall about selecting that perfect pumpkin from a local farm. You can carve them, paint them, or even use stickers if your twins are still little.

10 Enjoy a bonfire. Night spent

bundled with the family around an outside fire are precious memories to make. You can even enjoy dinner by having a weenie roast and don’t forget to save the best for last...s’mores! fall wreaths, and table centerpieces, etc. One of my favorite things to display are photos of my children from past fall seasons. We have Halloween pictures, them playing in leaves, some from the pumpkin patch, among others. The kids love seeing how much they change from year to year.

Go on a scavenger hunt. Throw on your jackets and boots and take a walk through your city, town or even better, the woods. Collect different colored leaves and acorns for craft time. Point out birds and squirrels and talk about how they are preparing for the winter 44

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

11 Go back in time at the fair.

One thing my family will not miss each year is our county fair. It’s just one of those silly, but timeless traditions from my youth that I love sharing with my little ones. We enjoy the rides, visit the farm animals, watch some of the local entertainment, and bask in the food --- corndogs, cotton candy and candy apples, yum!

Make pumpkin pancakes. If you’re a fan of breakfast and haven’t yet tried making these, you have been missing out! Just add 1/2 can of pumpkin to your normal pancake mix, fry and enjoy. It’s delicious and good for you, too. You’ll definitely be thanking me for this tip!

13 Tailgate at a local football

game. There is an amazing feeling that comes with fall and football,

but especially when cheering on your hometown high school team. Tailgating isn’t just for the pros...pack in that corn hole game and the grill and enjoy a little fun before watching the win!

Make homemade hot cocoa. Recipes abound on Pinterest like this one, but trust me...Swiss Miss and even Starbucks have nothing on your homemade version (and it will be a little healthier, too)!

15 Enjoy a picnic. Take

advantage of the cooler weather to sit outside, soak in the sun, and enjoy a relaxing lunch with the one(s) you love. It doesn’t have to be complicated, as you can offer tapas style options that don’t require a lot of prep or cooking ahead of time.

16 Make a fall craft. Want an

easy way to light dinner and celebrate fall? Get the kids in on the action by cutting off the top of several small pumpkins. Scoop out the insides and then place votive candles inside. Adorable craft by day; warm glow for dinner by night!

17 Watch a fall parade.

We’re all familiar with Macy’s parades, but many smaller cities and towns feature their very own holiday parades, complete with floats, princesses, marching bands and local servicemen and women like policemen and firefighters. It’s a great way to spend a couple of hours with the family, showing your support for the town. No matter how you welcome and celebrate fall, just be sure to slow down and enjoy!

you heard it here first... How did your twins sleep when they came home from the hospital? Together or separate, or a combination of both depending on age?

Co-slept until 3 months and then separate cribs in the nursery. They like to be able to see each other before they go to sleep, so the cribs are side by side. - Sarah M. Mine have been separated since day one. We put them in one bassinet to take a photo and they were swatting at each other, so there was no way we were getting any sleep if we paired them. - Kelly S. My boys shared a crib until they could climb out (about 18 months old). They’re 3 now and have regular twin sized beds each... but they still end up together most of the time. - Gwen M. multiplicity

If you have identical twins, how do you tell them apart?

The hospital bracelets stayed on as long as possible. Then I painted nails. The girls started sucking in their fingers so I had to rely on other things. - Gretchen S. We have always been able to tell but we also color code, and they wore anklets as newborns - Kristine H. In the early days our ‘baby A’ was smaller so that was the easiest way then. She also has more hair than her sister. - Lauren J. For preschool, I made shirts with my boys’ names on them so their teachers could identify them. The summer before kindergarten, they got separate hair cuts. That made things easier on everyone. - Christy O. Birthmark on one but not the other. - Kylie B. the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

FASHION finds multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

by talitha a. mcguinness

all fashion photography courtesy of firewife photography

with fall in mind

the scoop striped top; cream lace topl; leopard print scarf Charming Charlieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hat - H&M 48

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the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

the scoop diamond patterned top - TJ Maxx orange dress Marshalls 49

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

the scoop pink top and scarf Charming Charlieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ikat print top - Pink Friday Boutique 50

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

diamond cami & stone jacket - TJ Maxx

the scoop chevron dress - Kohlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s navy sweater - Walmart snake skin jumpsuit Marshalls olive & black dress Charlieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples 51Charming multiplicity

the scoop plum damask dress Charming Charlieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

The creator of the Twiniversity online resource delivers the definitive survival guide for all parents of multiples --- from pregnancy through the first year The rate of twin births has risen by 79% over the last three decades, and continues to grow. Expectant parents are overwhelmed with questions: do I really need two of everything? Can we do this ourselves or do we need help? Will I have to rob a bank to raise these babies without going broke? A twins mom herself and national guru on having two (or more!), Natalie Diaz launched Twiniversity, a supportive website with advice from the trenches. What to Do When Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Having Two covers: *making a Birth Plan checklist *sticking to one sleep schedule *double-duty breastfeeding *must-have gear *building one-on-one relationships with each child early Brimming with tried-and-true tips --- from the diaper budget to stroller sanity --- this is the must-have survival guide for parents of multiples. Natalie Diaz has been featured in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, New York Family Magazine, and more. She was named one of the top 100 Social Media Moms on Twitter by Disney and has recently been nominated for a She Knows Parenting Award.

Order your copy today!

WEAR ALL THE

BABIES! by payal tello

Ever had the problem of too many crying babies and not enough hands? Do you have an older child that wants to play and a baby who wants to cuddle? Do you have things you need to get done and a baby (or TWO!) that won’t nap? Or do you just want to buy groceries WITHOUT having to stress about your babies? If so, you aren’t alone! The good news is that there is an easy solution and babywearing is just the thing for you! Chances are you’ve heard about babywearing or at least have seen pictures of people wearing their baby. As an expecting mom of twins, I was envious of other babywearing mommies (and daddies!), assuming it was nearly impossible to do with two. Luckily, my assumptions were wrong. When I first found out I was having twins, I was so excited! With that excitement, eventually came a dose of reality. I started wondering how I was going to be able to tend to two babies and get my cooking, cleaning, and shopping done with both babies in tow. I had seen a few carriers in baby stores, and some pictures on Facebook of my friend wrapping her baby, but overall, I was completely clueless about the whole concept. Once I was put on bed rest at 30 weeks, I decided

it was as good a time as any to venture into the world of babywearing and figure out how to make it part of my life with twins. In the beginning, it was VERY confusing. One of the biggest challenges I faced when I first began was not knowing where to even begin! I literally cried the first few times I peaked into the babywearing world, and eventually slammed my laptop shut. I was so intimidated by all of the lingo, different types of carriers/wraps, and the (what felt like a million) different ways to wrap. Tandem wearing is seriously a whole different ballgame, and the fact that there isn’t too much information out there about wearing twins didn’t help. But soon enough I figured it out, and it literally changed my world. Even with the twins now 14 months old, babywearing continues to save my sanity!

than babies who are not. Babywearing gives your baby a safe place to be and a sense of security, while promoting strong attachment. And forget about the myth that wearing your baby will cause them to be too dependent on you --research actually shows earlier independence, advanced social development, and significantly reduced crying* when infants are worn. (*when babies are worn for three hours a day) Babywearing has become increasingly popular among new mothers. While it may take you a while to get comfortable with the wrap itself or the idea of wearing two, it is not impossible to babywear twins. In fact, it’s really double the fun!

There is also a lot more information and insight, from one twin mommy to another, about “all the things that make our twin life go ‘round” on our site, Facebook, Pinterest, and more! WEAR ALL THE BABIES!

For more information on babywearing, head over to the official Babywearing International Organization’s website.

For a list of babywearing resources that are local to you, check out Wrap Your Baby. For more about babywearing safety, different types of carriers and tips and tricks, and to meet other babywearers, The Baby Wearer Forum is the place for you!

Not only is babywearing super convenient, but it also has a ton of benefits for both the wearer and the baby. According to Laura Simeon, MA MLIS, of The Natural Child, “When a baby rides in a sling attached to his mother, he is in tune with the rhythm of her breathing, the sound of her heartbeat, and the movements his mother makes – walking, bending, and reaching. This stimulation helps him to regulate his own physical responses, and exercises his vestibular system, which controls balance.” Further research has shown that premature babies who are touched and held gain weight faster and are healthier

my goal is to provide a place for all of the information I had such a hard time finding. On our site, you can find resources on how to get started wearing your babies, instructional videos, tips and tricks we learned along the way, and budget friendly DIY wraps. (Wraps can get pricey, and I’m already ballin’ on a twin budget. Plus, I feel more invested in something I made myself!)

LOOK! it is possible!

Tandem babywearing has been such an important part of what inspired me to start twinmommy101.com, where multiplicity

Payal is the proud mother of baby twin girls. She holds a degree in Psychology and Sociology, and is a total nerd at heart. She created TwinMommy101, where she is dedicated to sharing her own experience with raising twins, her love of babywearing, gently parenting, healthy living, and so much more, all while creating a supportive community for moms of multiples to connect.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

special insert

2014

Holiday

Guide

a little something special for everyone on your list! 56

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

special insert

for the babies everywhere playmat by prince lionheart

With this playmat, parents and babies on the move can take the adventure with them. This water resistant mat shields them from unfamiliar territory and the double-sided city/zoo motifs engage them at play. The Everywhere playMAT makes playtime anything but flat. Retail: $60.00

shape sorter by green toys

The My First Green Toys™ Shape Sorter puts an eco-friendly spin on a classic play pattern. Made in the USA from food-safe, 100% recycled plastic milk jugs, the Shape Sorter helps develop recognition of shapes and colors while also encouraging eye-hand coordination, problem solving, and fine and gross motor skill development. Retail: $19.99

imat with voice pen by creative baby

Creative Baby offers mind-boosting play through their series of themed interactive foam mats that magically become interactive when used with the company’s patented Voice Pen. The Products reward the child with an animal sound, a word, music or a foreign language (Spanish, Mandarin, English) translation! Retail: $29.99+

rollipop tracking toy by edushape

double fun saucer by evenflo

Designed to allow babies to rock, spin and bounce, there are more than 20 activities to keep your baby active and help develop gross motor skills while playing. Retail: $99.99

What baby doesn’t love to play with balls? This is a perfect pick for cause and effect, building fine motor skills and just having fun! Five weighted balls allow your baby to follow each ball as it spirals down the track. Retail: $35.99

soft activity book by skip hop holiday pacifiers by mam

These are the perfect stocking stuffer for your little ones, as they are offered in an array of fun Winter themed designs in assorted colors. Storage case is reusable and can be used in the microwave to sterilize pacifiers. Retail: $7.49 multiplicity

Open up and explore a wonderland of forest friends! The sweet book includes many activities for play at home or on the go. Includes a hide-andseek pocket owl, peek-a-boo flap, mushroom squeaker, and tuggable teether. Retail: $15.00

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

special insert

for the littles wheelybugs by prince lionheart

Prince Lionheart’s super popular wheelyBUGS ride on toys are perfect for little legs desiring to explore the world around them. These ride on toys encourage development of gross motor skills while having heaps of fun. The bold, colorful wheelies come in a variety of designs including the new panda, bumble bee, ladybug, pig, hedge hog, tiger, cow and mouse. Retail: $75.00+

kidizoom smartwatch by vtech the magical tale of santa dust

Every child wonders......How will Santa find me? Begin a new Christmas Eve tradition in your home. The elves have gone back to the North Pole and now every child must help guide Santa to their door. The Magical Tale of Santa Dust is a delightful holiday tale of two small children whose house Santa has never been able to find. It’s Christmas Eve again, and the children fear another year will go by without a visit from Santa. Saved by the antics of a giggling, bungling elf, and some magical dust, their Christmas dreams come true. Magical Santa Dust is enclosed in a red velvet pouch that is also a keepsake Christmas tree ornament. The gift set is shrink wrapped together.The book set is a recent recipient of a prestigious MOM’S CHOICE AWARD honoring excellence. Retail: $19.95

More than just a watch, VTech’s Kidizoom® Smartwatch lets your budding photographer take photos, videos, play learning games and tell time for learning fun on the go! Also comes with a USB cable for connecting to Learning Lodge and uploading photos and videos. Retail: $59.99

maze mover by the little gym

This new toy is great for building confidence in balance with 3 mazes in one! With the maze mover, kids can guide the ball through the maze with hands and/or balance. Includes a Game Card with ideas for ways to play. Retail: $51.60

mini micro 3-in-1 by kickboard usa

The Mini 3-in-1 offers 3 rides for 3 ages, all in one box. It’s the quality ride-on toy and scooter that ‘grows’ with children from age 1 to age 5. Start with the ride-on seat at age 1, moving to a stand-on scooter with short O-Bar at age 2, and convert to the popular Mini Micro with T-Bar at age 3. The Mini 3-in-1 has quiet, non-marking, smooth-gliding wheels that can be used indoors/outdoors, for fun year around. The stable, upright design, low deck, soft edges, and rear spoon brake provide an extra measure of security. Retail: $114.99 58

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the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

special insert

for the littles caro-lini play tent by haba

dino dig by waba fun If they love studying dinosaurs, this is what every budding paleontologist needs! Bury your T-Rex or Triceratops bones in the sand and use the provided tools to excavate right in your living room! Retail: $24.95

helmet by aeromax

This space helmet is perfect for younger kids to enjoy, while offering rich details like a moving visor, NASA logo and appealing decorations that inspire kids to dream big. Retail: $16.95

The Caro-Lini Play Tent is perfect for your little princesses! Let their imaginations run wild - the play possibilities with this tent are endless! High quality and made to last. There is a window on each side for views all around. Designs are sewn, not printed on. The tent can be folded down completely for easy, space-saving storage! Retail: $142.49

chalk-a-doodle book by jaq jaq bird

This 8-page book provides an endless landscape for your child’s imagination. Great for travel, dining out, and just about anywhere your child has idle time. Retail: $24.00

micro balance g-bike by kickboard usa

Bypass training wheels by teaching balance from the start with this lightweight, easy to ride balance bike. It’s a bike without pedals or chains that toddlers propel with their feet, learning balance and coordination needed to ride a bike later in life. The handlebars and seat are adjustable (from 13-15.5”). Retail: $129.99

modern living dollhouse by kidkraft

Once dolls step foot in this dollhouse, they’ll never want to leave! Each room is a different color, giving the house a rainbow-like feel that young girls are sure to love! Includes 20 detailed pieces of furniture, including an outdoor grill and a TV that attaches to the wall. Large enough that multiple children can play at once. Retail: $129.90

roomii by sound of fun

The Roomii ride-on toy chest makes clean-up fun. Whether feeding toys through the rubbery teeth, or spinning 360 degrees on its omnidirectional wheels, children squeal with laughter because Roomii’s award winning design imaginatively combines form, function and fun. Retail: $80.00

rocket by green toys

3-2-1 blast off - this fully equipped Rocket is a 2-in-1 set that includes a detachable top capsule and two astronauts that sport molded spacesuits, helmets, and dual-tank backpacks. Retail: $24.99 multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

special insert

gifting alternatives

for the whole family

by nellie harden 60

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

special insert What is a gift? What should a gift be? Those two questions probably have different answers today. As our culture marches to the merchandise-laden drum of commercials, roadside ads, mailers, and holiday hype (that starts no later than when the stars and stripes of July 4th are being placed back into inventory), we can’t help but feed into the holiday hysteria of what the next big toy is for adults and children alike. Do you ever panic wondering if what you bought was enough? Or, even more, if the people around them think it was enough? This game is not how gifting is intended and certainly takes the joy and meaning from this holiday season. The definition of a gift is to give without expectation or give freely of something that you find worth in. As an adult what do you look back on and find worth in? Is it a toy alone or an experience you had with it? Is it a memory of time spent with a loved one who may no longer be around? Life is a series of interactions and relationships that are being built. Our joy is in those relationships and that is why some of the best gifts you could ever give center on just that. Giving experiences and building relationships. Here are some simply gifting ideas for the whole family:

1. Buy a yearly pass

--- to a zoo, museum, amusement park, or cultural center to spend with one another.

2. Have an all day date pass

--- where the giver and receiver both choose a couple of things

and just enjoy the day.

3. Purchase something the recipient really wants --- spend the day putting it together or purchasing it together.

4. Put a cap on it

--- cap the amount spent on the gift for a family and see how creative everyone can get.

5. Adopt a child abroad

--- do this through monthly donations for someone and set it up so they can be penpals.

6. Adopt a pet for someone ---

maybe their favorite animal either in their home or if it’s not possible for them to actually have the pet, consider adopting in their name at a sanctuary elsewhere in the world.

7. Go on a small vacation with them. In this case, time is the

most important factor. Enjoy each other’s company and the experiences you’ll share.

8. Make a coupon book.

Ideas might include helping make dinner, or treating them for ice cream, or even a night at the movies.

9. Write a story or a song for someone. There’s nothing more

personal than sharing what you feel for someone.

10. Donate to a good cause.

Pool the money that would be spent in a family and give it to a philanthropy that you all love.

11. Make a scrapbook of memories. There’s nothing more special than being able to look back at experiences from year to year.

12. Spend a day shopping together. multiplicity

13. Build something for them or together. 14. Do something for them ---

this could be in or for their home like landscaping, a year of cleaning or lawn service.

15. P lant something in their name.

The one common thread that runs through all of these ideas is the relationship building that accompanies them. There is nothing wrong with giving or receiving beautiful things, but the key is to never forget the true meaning of a gift. There are so many resources today to find experiences to give. Search the area in which the gift receiver lives for attractions, use Groupon, search unique gift ideas, etc. Think back on your own life and the gifts you have loved most and why, and try to foster that for others in your life. It is not about a price tag, a fad or a marketing ploy. It is about your relationship with the person to whom you are giving the gift. Nellie Harden has been married for 13 years and is a mom of four little girls, who represent four corners of a square and bring different gifts, energy and challenges to their world. In addition to being a mom, she works with families through Juice Plus and Tower Garden to get whole foods back at the forefront of the meals and snacks and help growing and changing bodies thrive in our world today. She also enjoys writing about all of life’s adventures. You can connect with her on facebook and twitter.

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

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book review by talitha a. mcguinness

One of my most favorite things to do with my kids at the holidays is read stories specific to that time of year. We start around Halloween and go through Christmas, and even if the stories are more elementary, the older kids love the quality time, too. We use books as our advent calendar activity (because there’s no way we can afford to buy little gifts for every day for all of them anyway!). They love taking turns opening one book each night and reading them together. If you decide to make this a new tradition in your home, too, or just want some new story ideas, below are a few of our favorites! A bumpin’ thumpin’ rhyming picture book about the delicious fate of a gigantic pumpkin on the run, Kevin Lewis’ The Runaway Pumpkin is a delicious tongue twister sure to capture the attention of everyone! What better way for Bear to say thanks, than to have a big dinner with all his friends! In Bear Says Thanks, Bear decides to throw a feast. 62

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As his friends show up with different platters of food to share, he realizes his cupboards are bare! What is he to do? Karma Wilson’s story is true to its series in lessons on manners, sharing and the true meaning of friendship. When the harness to Santa’s sleigh breaks mid-flight, the reindeer gang fly off into the night... leaving Santa and all of his presents stranded! Who will guide Santa’s sleigh and save Christmas now? Michael Garland’s Oh, What a Christmas! is an upbeat and humorously sweet holiday story about Santa’s soon-to-be-classic wild and crazy sleigh ride one special Christmas Eve. Brandi Dougherty’s story The Littlest Elf shows Oliver who has a big desire to discover his very special job in Santa’s workshop! But after messes and mayhem, is the littlest elf just too little? Perhaps he just needs the littlest reindeer to remind him what Christmas is all about! As Pig makes room, Lamb cleans up, Goose stacks the hay, and Duck lines the crib with eiderdown, Mary and Joseph are on their way. In Joseph Slate’s Who is Coming to Our House?, all the animals welcome the baby Jesus to their home. Have you ever wondered about

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

the secret life of snowmen? Ever wondered why they look a little different from day to day? What do they do at night while we’re sleeping? Well, Caralyn and Mark Buehner have created Snowmen at Night to solve the mystery your family will love to learn! Grandmother knits snow-white mittens that Nikki takes on an adventure. Readers will enjoy the charm and humor in Jan Brett’s portrayal of the animals as they make room for each newcomer in The Mitten and sprawl in the snow after the big sneeze. When you’re looking for a longer read, lead your kids through the journey of The Nutcracker. Readers of all ages will be enchanted by the stories within stories that are as intricate as the toys constructed by Godfather Drosselmeir in this famous story. Another silly story, Aliens Love Panta Claus by Claire Freedman will become a favorite. When Santa’s sleigh breaks down, it’s aliens to the rescue! In spirit with Christmas and what it means, the Aliens give underpants away. They even put them in Santa Claus’ toy bag! No matter how busy it gets, make time to grab a book or two and enjoy the snuggles with your family this holiday season!

special insert

for the bigs ultra stomp rocket

Every family should have a Stomp Rocket. Jump on the stomp pad and a giant blast of air propels the stomp rocket skyward up to 200 ft! No batteries or fuel required--it’s powered by you! The race is on, everyone wants a turn! Retail: $19.00

picture perfect pin ups by sugar lulu

Choose Purple Twirl or Pink Paisley kits that unravel to 6’ of shiny chain and 6 reversible, pretty patterned clips. Display anything that inspires at this moment: from magazine clips and hand-written notes, to class pictures, Picture Perfect lets girls change their look as often as they change their mind! Retail: $14.99

junior metal detector by bounty hunter

What better way to encourage exploring than with this childsized metal detector! It detects coin-sized objects up to 5” deep and larger objects up to 3’ deep. Battery tester included. Your kids will love their new treasures! Retail: $43.99

klee girls by luna star naturals

Luna Star Naturals seeks to provide a safe, healthy alternative for tweens starting at ages 8+ who want to wear makeup. Only natural minerals are used in their makeup, no harsh chemicals or synthetic dyes. Retail: $19.99+

showtime karaoke ipod dock

Get the party started right! Put on a concert in your living room with the Karaoke Dock and full-sized microphone. Designed to work with the iPhone or iPod Touch, this dock allows you to listen to songs and watch videos on your TV for full-blown, karaoke fun. Connect it to your stereo system for an amazing audio experience. Retail: $30.50

story of earth bracelets

my beautiful life journal

This inspirational sketchbook invites users to record their life story one sketch at a time. Page after page of autobiographical drawing prompts like “my childhood bedroom,” “my favorite breakfast cereal,” and “a time I felt proud of myself” make this visual diary both a catalyst for creativity and the keepsake of a lifetime. Retail: $13.21 multiplicity

With this collection of handcrafted bracelets, the whole earth and its history is right at hand to help you express yourself. The bracelets can be mixed and matched, and worn individually or together to suit your look, your mood and your place in the world. Retail: $35.00 the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

special insert

for the mamas play yard cabana by primo

Give mom peace of mind: babies can sleep and play anywhere! Perfect for indoor/outdoor use for up to 3 children! It is oversized, light weight, portable (travel case and shoulder strap included), and comes fully assembled. The waterproof, padded floor mat keeps your child comfortable and dry. 5 side panels offer see-through mesh for ventilation and easy visibility. One panel has a zippered door with lock for easy in-and-out access to children when the cabana cover is used. Store the travel case and removable cabana cover in side storage pockets. Fabric is sunproof for added protection. Retail: $199.99

isabelle grace jewelry

Special 20% Savings! Use Discount Code: MH2014

Make Mama happy and say “I Love You!” in a very personal way this holiday season with jewelry. From personalized pieces to mommy-themed necklaces and key chains, the Isabelle Grace line offers a wide selection of holiday gifts that will show your adoration and make her smile with pure joy this season. Retail: $55.00+

zebra bag by amy michelle

Designed for those Moms that are true fashionistas at heart, the Zebra takes baby chic to a whole new level. Subtle zebra embossing will spark new life into any outfit, you might just feel like a rock star. All bags feature Mom’s section in front, baby’s organization in the middle and separate changing area in the back. This will be her purse and diaper bag all-in-one. Features include a changing pad, double shoulder strap with 11” drop length, 4 pockets for maximum organization, 2 internal bottle pockets, and stroller attachments, among others! Retail: $134.95

boots & wedges by brian james

infinity cowl scarf by michele made

Keep mom warm and in style all season with a handknit, super-soft neck warmer. Available in dark pink, espresso, and white wheat ivory. Retail: $23.00 64

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Brian James™ Fall/Winter Essential Collection offers affordable, high quality footwear for women who adore fashion, but refuse to sacrifice comfort. The Boot, Wedge Bootie, Wedge Pump, and Ballet Flat are essential styles guaranteed to transcend any woman’s wardrobe season after season. Available in EU sizes 36-41 (US 5.5-11). Retail: $79.00+

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

ultimate spa set by little flower soap co. The

holidays are hard on everyone, but no one more than mom who pulls it all together! What better way to help her relax than with a spa gift set. Sets include soap, lip balm, bath salts, and muscle rescue balm. Retail: $25.00

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for the papas messenger bag by daddy & company

A fresh spin on a true classic - Daddy’s Messenger Diaper Pack will keep dads organized and moving all day long. The extra large interior makes it perfect for parents of multiples or those using cloth diapers, plus it can fit up to a 15” laptop or change of clothes for the gym. Retail: $139.99

daddy baseball tee by daddy & company

This tee offers new dads a stylish look without compromising on comfort. This crew neck tee says “I’m the Daddy” on the front and, true to its sports tee nature, comes complete with “Daddy” above the numbers “01” on the back. Every new dad will love showing off his number one daddy status while watching the game, coaching little league or running errands! Retail: $29.95

superhero keychain by stampinoffthepath

Dad wears a lot of hats and goes by a lot of names, but let him know he’s a true superhero in his kids’ eyes with this fabulous, personalized keychain. What dad’s eyes wouldn’t light up to know they were the real deal? Retail: $20.00

plush robe by stampinoffthepath

camera telephoto lens with tripod

Got a techie who also loves to take photos? You won’t fail with this little gadget! This is a zoom lens set compatible with Apple iPhone 5. Each lens set contains a zoom iPhone lens attachment for 12x the zoom, a sleek, matte black back case that allows you to firmly fix the lens on your iPhone 5, and a mini ball-socket tripod that help you get clear photos or aim the iPhone at yourself. Retail: $12.96

If you’re man is a man of comfort, nothing says lounging on the weekends more than a velour luxury robe. Available in several colors, including navy. Retail: $135.00

personalized license plate sign by unique pl8z

Commemorate that special date in dad’s life with this custom aluminum license plate sign. Whether you are celebrating an anniversary, your twins’ birthday, a retirement, or any other special day, this uniquely handmade tin license plate sign will honor the occasion magnificently. Retail: $85.00 multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

special insert

holiday family time

create a tradition of crafting together! Love it or hate it, there’s obvious bonding with your kids that occurs when crafting. While I don’t have the kind of time to devote to it that I wish I had, the holidays just put me into a crafting mood, so I try to start planning my projects early enough to actually get them accomplished in time! There are so many crafts for all ages and stages and thanks to the craze that is Pinterest, there are great online resources available, any time of day or night. Here are a few ideas that work well for younger and older kids alike!

Hand and footprint crafts

You can get as simple or complicated with these as you wish. All you need are some art canvases, which can be purchased at craft supply stores, 66

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

by susan rassette

some washable paint in the colors of your choice, foam paint brushes/ blotters, and some paint pens or sharpies to add the details. How about some mistletoes? Use a plain white painter’s canvas in the size you would like. Coat your multiples’ foot/feet in green paint, and then press it on to the canvas. It helps to have a firm grasp on their ankle to keep their foot steady, and have some newspaper nearby for them to step on when done. Add in the ribbon and wording detail with red paint, then using a round (about 1” in diameter) foam paint blotter, make your polka dots in yellow evenly around the white open area of the picture. Let dry, and you have a super cute craft for your house or to give as a gift. Tip: It helps to have baby wipes around for easy and quick clean-up while crafting with paint!

special insert We also did great reindeer craft that was similar. And you can do the same idea with handprints and finger prints for a menorah. With Hanukkah in mind, put your older children to work helping you decorate the table. Make a Star of David out of Popsicle sticks, paint it silver, and incorporate into your holiday table setting.

the holidays. Invite some of your kids’ friends, have 3 or 4 crafting stations set up, and let them go. Be sure to have a hot cocoa bar set up with some treats for them to enjoy between stations. You could even invite their parents, too. Crafting is fun for all ages, and so are holiday treats! Tip: don’t wait until it’s too close to the holidays because things just get too busy to host the event!

To continue with the handprint/footprint theme, make a Kwanzaa wreath. However, instead of using paint, cut out the handprints. Click here for directions.

And lastly, you can craft your gifts pretty easily using the Mason jar. What a wonderfully cute way to package stuff. My girls and I make homemade cocoa mix and package it up in a mason jar for the neighbors, teachers, bus driver, etc. You can make snowman luminaries, Halloween luminaries, or any other holiday you can think of. The Mason jar is just so versatile. How about a cute pencil holder for the teacher? Make sure to fill it with pencils because teachers always love having extra pencils. Instructions can be found here.

Unique picture frames or photo/scrapbook albums make cherished gifts. If you don’t have time for the intricacies of scrapbooking, many sites print photo books where you drop in your pictures and your wording, and they send you a beautiful keepsake book. Check out sites like Shutterfly and Picaboo for more inspiration. How about a beautiful picture frame luminary? This may be something for older multiples or better yet, for you. It is simply gorgeous and you can find detailed instructions by clicking here. What about a beautiful family photo display for the grandparent(s). It sounds reasonably easy to make, although beware --- it requires more than a hammer! This one would definitely be a much cherished gift. Instructions can be found by clicking here.

Whatever your crafting expertise level is, there’s a great holiday craft that you can accomplish. Kids love to craft and relatives love to receive unique, personalized gifts. What do you have to lose?

so adorable!

To add some fun, consider hosting a crafting party at multiplicity

Susan is mom to fraternal twin girls, age 8. She lives with her daughters and husband in a suburb of Detroit, Michigan. Susan loves to cook, craft, and many fitness activities. She also works full time from home for a large software company. You can connect with her on facebook. the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

sanity

keeping your during the busiest time of the year! by carolyn christensen

Just a glimpse at my calendar between Thanksgiving and Christmas is enough to give the strongest of hearts palpitations. Thanksgiving hits, shortly followed by our anniversary, the following week the twins have their birthday, and after a brief breather, Christmas is upon us. This doesn’t even include the holiday parties or church events that get thrown in at the last moment. Eek!!! If your schedule looks anything remotely similar, you might be wondering, “how can I possibly stay sane and enjoy the holidays myself?” From years of planning around these great events, I am here to tell you that with a little planning you can enjoy the holidays with the busiest of calendars. Planning, routine and keeping things simple helps me stay sane during the holidays and it can easily work for you, too! Tip #1: Plan early. My holiday season planning starts early in the year, as I buy presents throughout the year to store in my cedar chest. It is crazy, but I start planning themes, decor, etc. for the kids’ next birthday way in advance using Pinterest. Other items I strive to have done before Thanksgiving would be writing out the Christmas cards and preordering birthday decorations and anything to make the day a little easier. Tip #2: Write it all down. A good calendar and notebook for lists are sanity savers. Around October, I fill in the calendar starting with the weekend before Thanksgiving

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

straight through to New Year’s Eve. I mark the holidays first, then routine events like going to a persons’ house and why, and even padding time for decorating for events and cooking days. If you work full time like I do, it is important to plan for everything. Next, I begin my lists. Normally, I will have one to three lists for each event depending on food, gifts required, etc. During Thanksgiving and Christmas, cooking can be one of the hardest and most stressful parts. First, I make a list of food items to prepare, what I need from the grocery store to prepare them, and then I figure out what can be prepared ahead of time. You can pre-cook turkey and ham, and even slice and freeze a week or two in advance. As you can see, your lists can be as simple or complex as you need them to be to make it all work. Tip #3: Enlist help. If you plan to have extended family and close friends attend Thanksgiving or other holiday gatherings, you can consider having sides and desserts brought as pot luck. For our family, we make a list of family favorites and everyone agrees to bring one item and a drink. This keeps the stress of cooking spread out across everyone. To minimize clean up, we use paper plates and disposable cups with names written on each when possible. Lastly, we make it a clear rule that everyone helps with clean up. Everyone pitches in to wash serving dishes and pick up trash. Tip #4: Make time for everything you think important. The day after

Thanksgiving I start decorating for Christmas. Decorating for the holidays is my favorite time of year, but I really enjoy going all out. I make a plan on where I want decorations and I pace myself and normally decorate one room a day in hopes to have it done before our anniversary. I leave the dining room for last, which will be decorated after the twins’ birthday party (remember, all of these events occur almost simultaneously at our house!). However, not everyone has to be this ambitious. If decorations stress you out, create a special day to decorate. Give each family member their responsibility and let everyone help decorate the tree and home together. In the chaos, set your own pace and make your own traditions that will become routines, helping to reduce stress over the years. Once the decorating chaos has subsided, I turn my focus 100% to preparing for a birthday party. The twins’ birthday I plan throughout the year using Pinterest. I make a folder for the birthday, pick a theme and post ideas or products throughout the year. For example, this year I am doing a balloons theme because both kids just love them. I pinned decorating ideas, finger food ideas and present ideas. I found a cake I want to make this year, a table centerpiece, and I found the type of balloons I liked on Oriental Trading that I pinned to my board. You don’t have to break the bank to celebrate your kids’ birthdays. I pre-plan the guest list, food, and each child’s present list. (It is best if you buy the presents throughout the year, again, to help minimize the multiplicity

financial stress that easily comes with this time of year). Like all other times in raising twins, if a friend or family member offers to help set up or clean up from the party, take it!!! You have so much on your plate and most likely your family and friends know and understand. Tip #5: Check your lists and check them twice! Once the birthday party has had its time in the spotlight, I get to finish decorating, do all of the last-minute shopping, attend Christmas parties and double-check those lists to be sure nothing has been left off or forgotten. Christmas is my favorite holiday, so I try to make it as stress-free as possible. You might also consider personalizing the holiday by putting up two smaller trees, one decorated for each of the kids. This makes Christmas morning a little smoother for us because my son’s presents are under his tree, and my daughter’s under her own tree. (Not to worry --- Dad and Mom’s presents are safely secured under the big tree, safe from trampling toddlers.) By Christmas Day, meals are prepared, a few extra boxes of candy and homemade jelly are in the car along with family presents, and we are happily on our way to the extended family for Christmas evening. I have successfully conquered my highly traumatic, but extremely blessed holiday calendar. It might seem overwhelming at first, but there’s no reason to be faint of heart. Take my advice; make those lists … and check them twice!

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

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multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

introducing your twins to

baby

by lindsay macdougall 72

multiplicity

elcoming a new baby into the world is such a special moment in life. But what about the lives of your twins? Becoming big sisters or brothers brings many changes. It can be a very exciting, yet scary time in the minds of your older ones, too. When I found out I was pregnant with baby #3, it was such a thrilling moment, but it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t long before the excitement was met with feelings of slight fear. My twins have been the only children in our family for four years. How would I now split my attention between them and a new baby? Would they be jealous? Would they feel left out? Is it even possible to love this new baby as much as I love them? There were so many questions and so many emotions. Nine months later, my fears have been put to rest. As it turns out, with a little preparation, you can go from a family of four to more actually quite painlessly. During pregnancy, much of your attention and energy is spent preparing for a newborn. You have a nursery to set up, you are exhausted, your physical activity is often scaled back. Many expectant mothers often feel guilty that they

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

cannot do as much as they usually do with their children during a new pregnancy. And while running around the playground with your kids is a blast, it’s important to remember that your attention is what they really crave. You may not have the energy you normally do, but chances are, your child will be just as happy cuddled up with mommy reading their favorite book. As your pregnancy, and belly, continues to grow, your children may start to show more interest in the baby. Talk with them, go through their baby pictures, let them help you brainstorm potential names, let them pick out a new outfit or toy for baby, and take them to doctor’s appointments to hear baby’s heart beat. All of these things help to make the new baby “real” and encourage your children’s interest and help them to feel involved and important. Even if you don’t end up using their name suggestions (which in my case were “Baby Rapunzel” and “Baby Jake the Neverland Pirate”), you can still cultivate a connection to your twins and the baby by being conscious of how you refer to the baby. For example, “your sister” or “our baby” helps them to feel more engaged. All of these little things really help to encourage children and gives them a sense of ownership and pride. When the big day arrives, and baby finally comes, the real changes begin. Continuing to involve your children in the daily needs of the new baby is important. Yes, it may take a few extra minutes to change a

diaper, but the big sibling pride that you will see elude from your twins is worth every extra moment. Three weeks ago, when our baby girl was welcomed into our home, I was sure to keep my big kids involved in anything they wanted to be involved in. I also was sure to maintain special time with just my twins; leaving baby at home with Dad while we ran to the store, or putting baby in her crib so we could still do our nightly bed time stories like normal. While, of course, much of my attention was given to our new baby during those first few weeks, an equal amount of my time was spent focusing on my twins. I was doing everything I could to maintain a sense of normalcy, in an attempt to halt any feelings of jealousy or abandonment. However, I still witnessed small changes in behavior, which is obviously to be expected. However, there is a fine line between giving your older kids attention and patience, and letting them get away with things they normally wouldn’t get away with. While we want to make the transition as easy as possible, and that often means cutting them some slack, it is equally as important to maintain the same expectations you had for your children before they became big sisters/brothers. Playing that fine line isn’t always easy, especially when you aren’t getting much sleep and still recovering from a delivery. But, it is possible. Our attempt in playing it successfully was with one more addition to our home; our “Big Sister Center”. We created a fun and colorful place where I was hoping to instill good behavior and set multiplicity

proud big sis ters!

Lindsay’s “big sister” motivation board

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

contd. --- baby expectations while giving my girls a chance to earn rewards (and deal with consequences), despite the recent changes to our house. No matter how you choose to create your board, it’s important to remember that boundaries make kids feel loved and secure. Setting firm limits is not a punishment, but rather an empowering way to give kids a sense of responsibility and the ability to develop good habits and routines. Creating a new life is an amazing adventure. It can be exciting, happy, scary... but no matter what you’re feeling at the moment, I can assure you that you will love your new baby just as much as your twins. They will be amazing big brothers and sisters, and you can split your attention another way. You are a mom of multiples. You can do anything! Lindsay MacDougall is a SAHM to 4 year old twin girls, who also recently welcomed her third daughter to their family and have been living on cloud 9 ever since. Lindsay is also a health and fitness coach, and blogs for Toned After Twins, a community she created to help support and encourage other twin moms to live healthy lifestyles! For workout encouragement, fitness and food tips, connect with her on facebook. 74

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appy fall!

fun, educational apps for kids of all ages --and for mom and dad, too!

for the preschool and under crowd Handwriting Without Tears: Wet, Dry, Try for Capital Letters and Numbers teaches children to form letters from the top down. Although using this app is different from holding a pencil and writing (unless using a stylus), it at least allows children to learn how to correctly form a capital letter and numbers. $6.99 at iTunes.com. Farm 123 Free is an interactive pop-up book that allows your little ones to count, but won’t let them recount an object already counted, therefore helping to increase a child’s one-to-one correspondence ability. Some of the games are locked until purchasing, but the book portion alone is worth downloading. free at iTunes.com. for those 5 and up Fans of Endless Alphabet will also love Endless Reader with many of the same cute characters. Endless Reader uses nifty graphics and fun word puzzles to bring sight words and short sentences to life for early readers. The app offers a pack of six words for kids to learn, with additional “Reader Packs” available to buy within the app. $4.99 at iTunes.com With Spelling Test Free, you can create custom spelling tests and quizzes to practice the exact words you need to learn. Detailed scores are provided after each quiz to see which words you you got right and which ones you missed. It’s so simple to use, even kindergartners have fun making their own spelling quizzes and tests. free at iTunes.com. Extra! Extra! News-O-Matic is a kid-friendly current events app that boils down the daily news into simple articles that are appropriate for kids. For busy kids always on the go, this is a great way to stay connected to the ever changing world around them. The app earned five stars from Common Sense Media.

nudge

Moms are using Nudge, to reboot their health and get back on track. The mobile app makes it easy for busy moms to track their health and fitness by aggregating and indexing all this data into one wellness score called the Nudge Factor, which guides users towards optimal nutrition, sufficient sleep and a steady support team. The Nudge Factor can be shared to compare scores with friends and family, no matter what health platform they use to track their data. This way, the whole family can connect and challenge each other for the highest Nudge Factor score!

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

ask joan

kindergarten parents need a warm welcome, too! When our children officially become “kindergartners”, we feel a bit out of sorts for a while. We worry about how our kids will do without us in the big new world they are entering. We will not be with them to help navigate the challenges they will encounter. Teachers and other educators will be in charge of handling our children’s concerns. I envision the kindergarten transition similar to the experience that young adults encounter when they begin a new job - stressing about expectations and fears of measuring up, worrying about getting along with peers and bosses, and diving into an unfamiliar environment without having time to understand or assess the culture. The adjustment requires risk taking, resilience, and measurable amounts of self-confidence. Because we are so preoccupied with our children’s well being, we might not think about how disconnected and adrift some parents feel in a new school environment. More often than not, preschool communities are much smaller than kindergarten settings. Many families have bonded over the years as their children have been together in toddler groups and preschool classes. Strong attachments develop when we go through similar experiences with our children. Moving on often

entails the loss of long-term associations that have been a tremendous source of support and comfort. A mother of 6-year-old identical twin boys was thrilled about how well her boys were adjusting to school; however, she confessed that she was having difficulty. She felt estranged and alone when she walked her boys into school. She explained that most of the other families knew one another because their children transitioned together from preschool into kindergarten. She described that she felt as if she were back in middle school trying to fit in when it appeared as if everyone else were part of a clique. Although other friends reassured her that it takes time to make new relationships, she continues to feel somewhat isolated and alone. She has become involved in some of the school’s fundraising activities in hopes that she will meet other parents in this way.

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Just as children transition into new experiences at their own pace, parents also must be patient and philosophical about these unfamiliar circumstances. Please make an effort to reach out to families that are looking for new connections. Both children and adults thrive on warmth and friendship to help soothe the anxiety and discomfort that accompany lifechanging events. Dr. Joan A. Friedman is a psychotherapist who has devoted years of her professional career to educating twins and their families about twins’ emotional needs. A twin herself and having worked through her own twinship challenges and parented her fraternal twin sons, she is a definitive expert about twin development. She is the author of Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children. Her second book that is now available, The Same but Different, addresses the intricacies of adult twin relationships.

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five minute fix:

try a little switch! w by traci zeller

hen you think of transforming a room, what is the first thing that comes to mind? You probably think of “big” items like paint, wallpaper or fabric … but sometimes the smallest changes can make the biggest difference. Of course, because we are busy moms of multiples, it’s even more important if those smallest changes take the smallest amount of time – which is why I created the “Five Minute Fix!” Light switches and electrical outlets are not often considered a “decorative statement,” but they are some of the most used items in a home. Plus, they receive daily wear and tear from hurried hands and sticky fingers. Are your switches tired from years of use? If a quick wipe with the Magic Eraser no longer makes your switches shine, you may need an upgrade. Of course, simple replacement plates are available at any home improvement store at a nominal cost. Depending on the finishes in your home, however, a decorative switch may be a better choice. 76

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I recently used Adorne products by legrand in a showhouse room I designed with Lisa Mende in the Ronald McDonald House of Long Island, and I was beyond impressed! The sleek profile of the Adorne light switches and electrical outlets turn what could be an eyesore into a design statement. Here, Lisa and I personalized the Custom Wall Plate with matching wallpaper so that the plate itself virtually disappears. You can also use paint or even fabric to personalize the plates to your room. Wood paneled study? No problem! Choose from wenge or French oak wall plates. I also adore how the Pop-Out outlets are hidden from view … until you need them! Simply push on the outlet and room for three plugs pops out. If your children are young, the Tamper-Resistant Outlets include a patented shutter system that keeps your

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children safe by preventing them from pushing objects into the outlet. Best of all, they fit into your existing electrical boxes! Installation takes only a screwdriver and a few minutes. Lisa and I installed them right before our photo shoot was scheduled to start! See how a simple change makes a big difference? Turn on those lights, and happy decorating! Traci Zeller is an interior designer known for her clean, sophisticated mix of classic and modern pieces. As a busy wife and mother to active twin boys, she appreciates the need for spaces that are beautiful and functional. Traci also authors a blog, and her firm, Traci Zeller Designs, provides full service design, textiles, and e-decorating packages.

photo courtesy of firewife photography

ask the veterans

twins beyond the twos... As twins get older, they begin to make more friends and get invited to parties, playdates, and other activities that often leave their sibling behind. How should parents handle this? As parents of twins, it is definitely hard to deal with the emotions that come with one twin realizing they were left out from the group --- whether it’s a party, a sleepover, or whatever. In order to keep things balanced, some parents request that both be invited or won’t let the one go unless they both attend. Here’s what some of our readers had to share... “I hate the parents think it is okay to force their child on anyone. Twins are individuals and need to be seen that way. Sometimes they will both be

invited and sometimes only one will be invited and that is okay. Just spend one-on-one time with the one that isn’t [included].” Christi A. “It’s always okay for anyone to invite only the people they choose to invite! [As parents], teach them to be strong individuals who can handle these life-like situations!” Bonnie W.

Pregnancy is a beautiful part of life and should be full of wonder and love. Being pregnant with multiples doesn’t have to be scary, even if an unheard of diagnosis is involved. Have questions?

We can help! Answers for today. Hope for tomorrow.

It seems that there are some great life lessons in how to handle inclusion. This is one more way to celebrate the individuality of twinship! multiplicity

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in their daddy’s eyes:

chronicles of tween twin girls by lonnie somers

have experienced a lot of milestones this year. First I hit a new decade, and I am not sure how that snuck up on me (or how it does any of us). More unbelievable, is I became an official dad of tweens! I had no idea what this little cute tag meant, and why society felt the need to name the years of being eleven and twelve. We certainly were never referred to as a tween when growing up. We were pretty much just an amoeba hoping to one day make it to being a teenager, and for most of us, that was probably a step back in the evolution process of hitting some sort of responsible adulthood. Now I am part of a club where it is more than appropriate to stand up in front of other tween parents and recite, “Hi my name is Lonnie, and I am a dad of not just one tween, but twin identical girl tweens. I am not sure how it happened, but I am thankful for this support coping group. I have gone now two hours without feeling crazed by the emotional rollercoaster we all ride.” The tween years are more than a label of being 78

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eleven and twelve, but it really is a time where you notice a maturity and growth from being a child into a young woman. Not only have I been faced with puberty and the emotions that go along with that (and believe me, sometimes living next to an active volcano sounds easier to deal with than the eruptions of emotions that come with two eleven year olds going through puberty at the same time), but also the challenge of really learning how to relate to my daughters. In one moment they can be pushing their baby doll strollers playing “mommy”, and the next moment sitting down and writing out forty pages of an original screen play they created (something I could never even begin to comprehend how they had the ambition to do). This quite honestly is a challenging and emotional time for parents, especially for dads, because we all love to be able to just “fix” things. In this case, that just isn’t possible. It is a time of still believing in many of the wonderments that make childhood such a joy, to seeing the maturity of becoming a young woman (believe me that changes minute by minute and can be hard to reconcile in this Dad’s head).

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It can be a first instinct to either keep them in their childhood years and dismiss the level of more mature areas, or we do the opposite and try to get them to let go of those more childish tendencies. I have more than once uttered the words, “come on now, you are eleven years old; eleven year olds don’t think or do silly things like that.” In truth, I really shouldn’t be so quick to change them in either direction. Why should I want them to “grow up” faster than they already are. So what if they still like to play “mommy”? Who is this really hurting? No one. I should embrace this time of them still being my little girls. How many of us have those wonderful memories of playing make-believe? Maybe we should do more of it as adults. Perhaps the magic our children possess would still be with us today. The times where we could do anything and be anything are so long lost in an age of constant digital connection and busyness. Why should I want that so quickly for my daughters? The answer is simple for me; I don’t. Of course at the same time, I have to realize that they are growing up and they are absorbing knowledge faster than I can hardly keep up with. I know that it is important to foster that curiosity and learning. Why should I hold it back? Both my daughters have always been reading several grade levels ahead of where they “should be.” Why does our society put such boundaries on our kids? Why should we limit them? Why should we condition them to never exceed beyond what some bureaucrat

set as a boundary? As a dad, and especially during these tween years (and forever), I will always encourage and support their growth without limitations. Now the harder part is how to keep societies biases from affecting them. This is no small feat for any parent today. Every day our society is throwing thousands of images at our children, and especially our girls, on how they should conform to these unrealistic media and social perceptions. I can already see how my daughters are being influenced by it from the type of clothes they should wear, to how they should act in different social circumstances, and more concerning to me, is how they should look. Even for the last couple of years, I have heard on many occasions that they believe their hands are too big, their shoulders are too fat, they are too tall and no one will like them because of it. I cannot even truthfully relate. The pressures when we grew up were there, but not to this extent, and being male, we mostly never paid much attention to things like that. Somehow we have to role model truth vs. the unrealistic societal perceptions. In a thousand years, if an archeologist were to find the images our media and society has thrust as truth, would they have a real accurate picture of who we really are? I doubt it. We have to continue to point out to our children that these things are false. We need to teach them by example and show them what the reality is. Instead of dismissing their insecurities that they are not too multiplicity

tall, or that they don’t have too big of hands, and encourage them to quit such nonsense talk, we should be asking them why they feel that way. Hopefully, by opening those doors of communication and setting the example of how differences should be celebrated and that beauty comes in all shapes, colors and sizes, we can help them really see reality for what it is. True beauty is in each of us, at every stage and age, and every part of this world. While the tween years can be challenging, a very dear friend of mine once told me that as much as a challenge parenthood can be, our children are lucky to have us because we are the ones who can get them through these difficult times. I truly believe this. I am a dad of tween identical twin girls and I am the right person to help them navigate all the trying and emotional times of their lives, especially this stage between growing from those little girls to becoming the beautiful young women they are meant to be. Lonnie serves as the President and owner of Hallucination Sports, where he has over 10 years of experience in the event industry. Lonnie is the Chairman and CEO of the Fetal Health Foundation, an organization he and his wife founded after fetal surgery saved their identical twin daughters who were diagnosed with TTTS. He created the successful national Race for Fetal Hope 5K run series (now The Great Candy Run). Additionally, he has over 20 years of experience in various financial, accounting and operations executive management roles.

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fight for your children:

what itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like when abuse hits home

by paula yost schupp 80

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One of the most common yet undiscussed topics in America is child sexual abuse. Dr. Rosolena Conroy of Carolinas Medical Center Northeast in Concord, North Carolina is a Child Abuse Pediatrician certified by the American Board of Pediatrics. Dr. Conroy spoke with Multiplicity Magazine about myths about child sexual abuse and provides parents with awareness and hope. MYTH 1 – Strangers abuse children. Not always the case, as 90% of child sexual abuse victims know their abuser. The child often loves and trusts the abuser, but is helpless to stand up to the power and control of this person. MYTH 2 - Children tell right away. Disclosures of child abuse can take years, and some children may never tell. Delays in telling are due to secrecy, fear, shame, guilt, or because they are taught that the abuse is acceptable and normal. The child or their parents are often dependent on the perpetrator for shelter, food, and clothing. Many children endure abuse because they think they are protecting their siblings. The sibling bond should never be underestimated. This bond can be very strong in multiple birth situations. This distorted sense of responsibility for the protection of their siblings or for keeping the family together shows the extent of the psychological power and control the perpetrator has on the victim child. Often children try to tell about the abuse, but adults do not understand what they are trying to say. Young children do not have a developmental concept

or words for human sexuality and tell adults what happened in a seemingly fantasy, yet age-appropriate language such as “the dragon hurt my sister.” Pedophiles also teach children to call their sexual parts a common name such as a “cookie”. Thus, when a child says, “my uncle ate my cookie” the message is taken literally. Some children remain quiet about their abuse because they fear they will not be believed, fear punishment by the parent or the abuser, or worry the perpetrator will turn on them and worsen the abuse. Siblings often keep quiet about the abuse of another sibling for the same reasons. Other siblings truly have no idea abuse is happening but notice things like the victim getting special attention from the abuser or a change in victim behavior. For example, a child may say, “Sally always used to play with me, but now she never does.” The siblings believe they could have intervened and stopped the abuse and therefore are also in need of counseling to process their feelings of guilt. MYTH 3 - Children fight their attacker. The abuser does not want the child to fight. Clues to the grooming

process includes extra attention or gifts, enticements with “fun” activities which seem innocent, but give the perpetrator alone time with the victim such as going shopping, to the arcades, movies, or for treats like ice cream. The perpetrator will also ingratiate themselves into the family by offering to babysit so the parents can spend some time together. They are building the trust of the child, slowly making more advances to full sexual abuse. MYTH 4 - There is physical evidence. Boundary violations such as fondling, touching, or sucking rarely leave physical findings. Even more intrusive, penetrating, repeated acts of sexual abuse rarely have residual physical findings. Children heal very quickly and evidence is rarely recovered beyond 72 hours after some act of sexual abuse, and impossible to find with other acts. Therefore, the lack of physical findings NEVER precludes the occurrence of sexual abuse, assault, or victimization. MYTH 5 - Sexual abuse has no consequences for children. The crime of sexual abuse is accompanied by confusion, shame, embarrassment, fear, and

The sibling bond should never be underestimated. This distorted sense of responsibility for the protection of their siblings or for keeping the family together shows the extent of the psychological power and control the perpetrator has on the victim child. multiplicity

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situation of further abuse, and causes more physical and psychological damage.

Children are further victimized when they are not believed by their family or professionals who have a duty to protect them. guilt, which often lead to lifelong effects including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, drug addiction, alcoholism, sex addiction and disorders, difficulties with personal relationships, problems with intimacy, shame, guilt, self-esteem problems, fear, depression, a failure to fulfill one’s potential at school or on the job, and a disproportionate number of suicides.* These negative outcomes often occur years after the sexual abuse took place and often do not become apparent until the victim is an adult and a major life event, such as marriage or birth of a child, takes place. It is a myth to think sexual abuse does not affect a child. The truth is that a child who seemed unharmed by childhood abuse can develop crippling symptoms years later. Children are further victimized when they are not believed by their family or professionals who have a duty to protect them. This continues the feelings of helplessness, places them back into a dangerous 82

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However, parents can protect their children from these horrific crimes in several ways. Avoid your child being in one-on-one situations. Select activities and organizations for your child where the children stay in groups, are observed by security cameras, and classroom doors have windows. Avoid allowing your child to go into public restrooms unattended. Use family bathrooms if and when possible. If it not a choice, announce yourself at the door so that potential offenders know you are nearby. Know who is caring for your child at all times, and have

conversations with your child so they know what

is normal and appropriate behavior and what is not, and review this with them often. Children’s Advocacy Centers across the nation recommend Jon Holsten’s The Swimsuit Lesson, as it is a powerful resource for parents to educate their children about the danger of sexual abuse. Unfortunately, for some families, despite all best efforts to protect their child, sexual abuse still occurs. If you find yourself in a position where your child discloses abuse, the most important thing is to believe your child. Often children are not capable of inventing abuse allegations. It is best not to ask the child questions regarding the events, but write down word for word what the child says. This may be difficult,

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but leading questions can taint the disclosure to a child abuse professional. The parent’s role in the disclosure is to believe the child. Children who feel believed, protected, and loved have the best outcomes and the lowest rates of lifelong abuse ramifications. Children who are not believed report additional trauma because they truly feel helpless. They are often angrier at the person who failed to protect them than they are at the abuser. These children often have some of the worst outcomes. If a child makes an allegation, immediately find the closest Children’s Advocacy Center (CAC) for your child to be seen by a child abuse pediatrician. If your community does not have a CAC, ask for help from the child’s pediatrician and/or the Department of Social Services. Pedophiles frequently abuse hundreds of children during their lifetimes. The only way to stop offenders is to successfully prosecute them. For more information on how to protect your child or to learn how to respond to a sexual abuse disclosure, please visit Darkness to Light, and consider attending a training in your area.

* See Guy R. Holmes, Liz Offen, & Glenn Waller, See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil: Why Do Relatively Few Male Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse Receive Help for Abuse-Related Issues in Adulthood? Paula Yost Schupp currently serves as the Chair of the Child Protection Team in Cabarrus County, NC. In addition to being a federally licensed U.S. Patent and Trademark Attorney, she is finishing her Masters in Mental Health. Paula is happily married to her husband of five years, and they have two children. To read more about Paula, visit her website.

‘twas the night before

christmas...

For most families, the Christmas season is their favorite time of the year. Many of us have unique family traditions and some of us may be starting traditions with our children for the first time this year. In polling my fellow twin moms, surprisingly, we all had pretty much the same version of traditions. For my family, our traditions start on Thanksgiving night when our elves, Jake and Eli, make their yearly appearance. The elves are something we try to start early to help motivate our boys to be good for Santa! I know a lot of us have an Elf on the Shelf or a variation of one, and many of us struggle to concoct new “Elf-capades” for them each year. I have seen naughty elves, good elves and honestly lazy elves (it’s okay; I have had many nights of waking in a panic at 2am because I forgot to move our elves!). I personally have found Pinterest to be a plethora of ideas for our elves and I think this year I have pinned more “good” elf ideas to teach the boys about kindness and generosity. My boys get into enough trouble without mischievous ideas! Another tradition that seems to be gaining in popularity involves the 25 Days of Christmas Books. Beginning on December 1st, the kids unwrap one book each night to read at bedtime. I know that can become a very expensive tradition, but I put our books up each year and reuse them. If you wanted to get new books each year, you could host a book exchange with different families, purchase from a thrift store, or borrow from your local library. Many of us also have movie traditions; movies that we must watch each

by karen finchum

Christmas season. The movies that top my personal favorites list are It’s a Wonderful Life and Prancer. My boys enjoy Rudolph and Frosty the most. We also try to incorporate movies in with our “Elf on the Shelf”. Last year, our elves would leave popcorn and hot chocolate with a new Christmas DVD for us to watch. The boys really loved it and you can find Christmas movies to be fairly inexpensive to purchase. The Advent Calendar is another tradition included in the Top 5. Some of us have the Advent wall hangers where you can place candy in the pockets or you may purchase the cardboard “Advent Book” that you open one window each day to piece the story together. There are several versions of Advent and this year, I have decided to try an “Advent Stocking” and place cards with good deeds in the pockets instead of candy.

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Last, but certainly not least, is the Christmas Eve tradition many of us seem to favor --- the receiving of Christmas pajamas. Growing up, my parents would always allow us kids to open one gift on Christmas Eve and that gift always contained a pair of Christmas pajamas. I carried on that same tradition with my boys, with our elves bringing the gifts. In order to get in the spirit, our elves also show up in their own Christmas pajamas on Christmas Eve. No matter how or where you choose to celebrate, I hope you enjoy your traditions as much as we do. Whether it is getting up at 2am on Black Friday to shop the deals, a favorite dish you prepare, or setting up the “Little People Nativity,” the best traditions are those close to your heart. Embrace the moments spent with family and friends during this special time. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

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Myles, 21/2

tiny Heart Superheroâ&#x201E;˘, awaiting his fourth surgery and rocking his scar!

The Saving tiny Hearts Societyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mission is to raise money for grossly under-funded, lifesaving grass roots research of congenital heart defects (CHD's). CHD's are the #1 birth defect worldwide affecting over 1,000,000 babies every year!

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