Across the universe

Chad and Jeremy were everywhere! From top: “Batman,” “The Dick Van Dyke Show” and “The Patty Duke Show.”

“Batman” © Greenway Productions; “The Dick Van Dyke Show” © Calvada Productions; “The Patty Duke Show” © United Artists Television

WHEN AMERICAN SITCOMS DID THEIR RIFFS ON the British Invasion, and the Beatles were too busy (and expensive) to take part, Chad and Jeremy happily became TV’s go-to Brits.

Chad Stuart and Jeremy Clyde played thinly veiled versions of themselves on “The Dick Van Dyke Show” and “The Patty Duke Show” (both 1965), and played themselves outright on “Batman” (1966). Screaming girls figure in each episode, and real-life songs by Chad and Jeremy are heard — excellent product placement.

On “Dick Van Dyke,” the boys play Ernie and Fred, members of a pop group called the Red Coats who are constantly on the run from female fans. When they are booked to perform on “The Alan Brady Show,” head writer Rob Petrie (Van Dyke) and his wife Laura (Mary Tyler Moore) are elected to host the duo in their suburban abode. Sworn to secrecy, the Petries are dying to tell neighbors about their famous visitors. (“It’s like being Clark Kent,” grouses Rob.) A clever “meta” moment comes when Ernie and Fred introduce a song “recorded by Chad and Jeremy, friends of ours back in England. They’re very close to us, you might say.”

On “Patty Duke,” they play Nigel and Patrick, a duo “discovered” by high schooler Patty Lane (Duke), who volunteers to be their manager and get them a recording contract. Patty impersonates her twin cousin Cathy (also played by Duke), who has a classical radio show, in order to play Nigel and Patrick’s demo on the air.

On “Batman,” Chad and Jeremy stay at Wayne Manor, stately home of millionaire Bruce Wayne (Adam West), alias Batman. Catwoman (Julie Newmar) uses a high-tech gizmo to steal their voices, demanding that England cough up an 8-million-pound ransom. Her rationale: “Chad and Jeremy pay so much income tax to their native land, that if it were to stop, the whole empire might crumble.” Spoiler alert: C&J get their voices back.

Later, while attending a Chad and Jeremy show, Commissioner Gordon (Neil Hamilton) complains: “A bit on the groovy side, aren’t they?” Counters Bruce in a voice that sounds exactly like Batman: “Every era has its own music, Commissioner.”

It’s Illya-mania!

He didn’t sing, but David McCallum was chased by screaming girls.

“I once took refuge in a ladies’ toilet (restroom) on the campus of Louisiana State University,” the Glasgow native (born 1933) told me in 1995. “The police barred the door so that nobody would get in. And they all came in through the windows! I was trying to get out, but the police wouldn’t let me out. I got pretty badly torn about. I wasn’t like being kissed. It felt like you were being killed.”

In his blond, Beatle-esque haircut and black turtleneck, McCallum often stole the show from the more conventionally heroic Robert Vaughn on TV’s “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.” (196468). As quiet Russian agent Illya Kuryakin, McCallum lent the espionage thriller (some call it a spoof) a sensitivity uncommon to the era’s preferred concept of the superspy as a stop-at-nothing stud.

Illya was deep, man.

AN UNWITTING TEEN IDOL, McCallum found himself on the cover of teen magazines alongside fellow Brits like the Beatles and Herman’s Hermits.

I recalled an article in one such mag in which McCallum was mobbed by girls, one of whom asked his then-wife, Jill Ireland, for permission to kiss him. When she said yes, a kissing frenzy followed.

“I think that’s apocryphal,” he said with a laugh. “That sounds like the MGM publicity department. As you know, every publicity department manipulates those occasions to the hilt.

“Things like that did happen, yes. Absolute insanity at that time. But those scenes were manageable most of the time.”

During the height of his “U.N.C.L.E.” fame, McCallum released four instrumental albums on Capitol Records such as “Music: A Part of Me,” and “Music: A Bit More of Me.” (Factoid: In 2009, Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg rapped over a sample from McCallum’s track “The Edge.”)

IN 1965, McCALLUM FOUND HIMSELF HOSTING “Hullaballoo” in character as Illya. He even “rapped” a song (sample lyric: “That’s why they call me Agent Double-O-Soul, baby!”)

“I got to meet the Animals; they were doing ‘We’ve Gotta Get Out of This Place if it’s the Last Thing We Ever Do’ (sic),” he said of the experience. “And I did, during that time, Andy Williams’ show, Dean Martin’s, Carol Channing, all those shows and specials. To meet them and to work with people like Judy Garland, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, shaking hands with Willie Mays and Hank Aaron — I’ve always been the ultimate fan of those people. I mean, the whole of my life has been such a pleasure, in terms of meeting people.” Was it weird for McCallum to see his likeness on, for instance, the Illya doll? Said the actor: “It wasn’t until we did ‘Return of the Man From U.N.C.L.E.’ in 1983 that I was on Melrose Place going past one of those bric-a-brac shops, and I saw one in the window. It said ‘The Man From U.N.C.L.E.’ all over it, and it was this sort of blond creature in a black turtleneck. I figured, ‘That’s probably me.’ I just went in and bought it. I had to, right?”

David McCallum as Illya Kuryakin amid Illya collectibles. © Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer