Milwaukee Family - Winter 2010

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Complementary

2010

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contents Winter 2010

20

features

8 | INFANTS/TODDLERS

15 | ELEMENTARY SCHOOL 21 | TWEENS & TEENS

special sections 8 | HEALTH TEXTS & NEW MOMS

14 | OPEN ENROLLMENT

ON THE COVE R 4 Single Parenting 10 aAndoption/Fostercare d Special Nee ds 23 Bullying

18 | TEACHING MANNERS 19 | FAMILY TIME 24 | MAKE-UP AND CLOTHING 26 | GRANDPARENTS

resources

27 | CALENDAR

128 Cottonwood Ave. Hartland, WI 53029 Phone: 262.367.5303 www.twwmag.com Cover Photo by: Mortensen Photography

PLUS PUBLICATIONS PUBLISHERS Maureen & Tom Slattery MANAGING EDITOR Cyndi Strayer

ADVERTISING SALES Jody Medinger Margo Lehmann Saran Piehl ART DIRECTOR Nicole Hesse

GRAPHIC DESIGNER Shelley Bills WRITER/PROOFREADER Jill Slattery OFFICE MANAGER Paulette Koeppen

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For Single Parents,

By Judith Berger

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here are approximately 13.7 million single parents in the United States today, and those parents are responsible for raising 21.8 million children, according to 2009 data from the U.S. Census Bureau.

Many circumstances can result in single parenting, says Polly Drew, Milwaukee psychotherapist and adjunct faculty member at the University of Wisconsin -Whitewater. Single parenting may be a result of choice, divorce or death. “You may also be in a single-parent role if your spouse travels a lot or is unavailable due to illness or lack of involvement,” she says.

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Surrounding daughter with love

Raising Children Takes a Village

1

From the time Melissa Anderson was a little girl she dreamed of being a ballerina. After hours of lessons and practice, she realized her dream. For five seasons, she danced with the Milwaukee Ballet Company -- right up until the time she was five months pregnant with her daughter Sofia.

Anderson was not re-signed with the company for the next season. So when Sofia was born, Anderson hung up her toe shoes. “It really was the best thing that happened to me,” she says. “The commitment it takes to be a professional ballet dancer is incredible. Yes, we can be very self-absorbed. There are the physical and time demands. And now I was a mom.”

Anderson had taught ballet for years, but now it would be her career focus. She and her husband Rafael, who was also a ballet dancer, opened a dance studio.

By the time Sofia was four-years-old, the couple had divorced. Initially they shared custody of their daughter, but eventually the dance studio closed, Sofia’s father moved out of state and Anderson was a single mom.

Anderson had to figure out a way to raise and support Sofia. “I wanted to control my schedule and do what worked for Sofia’s needs. I talked to everyone I could to find out how I could teach ballet while she was in school.”

Not being able to fight the desire to perform, Anderson contacted Danceworks. “I told them I’d take any role.” They gladly accepted her offer.

Danceworks still commands a lot of hours but it’s far more flexible than a ballet company, she says. “We all have other careers and lives outside our performance lives.”

As a part-time faculty member in the dance department at the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee, Anderson has a career that fulfills her, gives her sufficient income and allows her to be with Sofia. “There’s a cost in time away from her. I calculate how much we need to live.

I know I’ll never generate a great income because the cost to Sofia in time with her would be too great,” Anderson says.

Nine-year-old Sofia is in the fourth grade.

She’s in junior Girl Scouts, involved in choir and just started the violin. “She’s a great reader and does dance, but doesn’t have my passion for it. That’s fine. It’s good exercise for her,” Anderson says.

With a happy, active daughter, Anderson assembled a “family by choice,” she says.

“There are people around Sofia who she admires, respects and trusts. I’m always grateful for that.”

Neighbors, Godparents, family friends and scout leaders are there when needed. “Two dads in the neighborhood helped Sofia learn to ride her bike. She’s strong willed, but seems to respond to a male voice,” Anderson says.

As Sofia gets older, Anderson says it doesn’t necessarily get easier, just different.

“There’s no changing diapers, but there are other issues. We talk about bullying and to be fair and kind and gentle. There can be so much drama around girls -- all that anxiety.

“I want to surround her with people who can model good behavior for her, and for her to see healthy men-and-women relationships,” Anderson says.

Ending a yearlong wedding engagement, Anderson says, “It just didn’t work out. Sofia and I talked about his good qualities, and that it just wasn’t a good fit. She understood it had nothing to do with her. When you are deciding what’s best for you, you’re deciding what’s best for your child.”

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Keeping the ball rolling after a loss Michael Breitbach’s wife, Ginny, was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 1992. At the time their children, Thomas and Caroline, were four and two years old.

At times, Ginny’s illness restricted her involvement with the kids, but Breitbach says, “It wasn’t as if they were living without a mom. Ginny was always there for them.”

A diagnosis of that nature put Breitbach in the role of caretaker and parent. “I used to live in 15-minute increments,” he says of making sure the kids’ and his wife’s needs were met.

“Whether Ginny was in the hospital or not, we wanted to keep continuity in their lives,” Breitbach says of dinners together, homework time, school activities, going to church and taking time for play. As Ginny got sicker and unable to do things for Thomas and Caroline, more and more things were shifted to Breitbach. But at the end of the day, as they tucked their children into their beds, they would all pray and talk about their day. It was those intimate moments folded between the softness of blankets that would help to imprint values of a mother they would soon be without. Virginia Breitbach passed away on a bright, warm day in May 1999.

“Ginny set their moral compass. She knew she was leaving them, so she doubled her efforts. I knew what she expected for them: to respect life and to be honest and nice to people. I’ve just kept the ball rolling,” Breitbach says.

Breitbach credits an understanding employer who allowed him to work from home or take abbreviated days when cancer and kids demanded his attention.

After Ginny’s passing, Breitbach was faced with his grief and his children’s grief. Breitbach enlisted ways to help them cope with the unbearable loss. When sadness overwhelmed, Breitbach figured out ways for his young children to express their feelings. “Sometimes I’d take the kids outside with a carton of eggs,” he says. They’d hurl each one at a target in the yard of their Muskego home, yelling “We hate you cancer!” as they smashed the fragile eggs against its mark.

As a single parent, day-to-day life of school and work had to continue. “After a while, I couldn’t put off giving my job the attention it needed.

So the kids went to camp and day-care, which they hated. But it’s what I had to do,” Breitbach says.

Throughout Ginny’s illness and afterwards, friends, family and members of their church offered help. “I needed it. So when people offered, I took them up on it,” he says. “God put good people in my path.”

As a father, raising a daughter took some creativity. For Caroline, there were issues typical to the natural rhythms of growing up. When Breitbach felt out of his element, he called upon Ginny’s mother and sister to help. “Caroline used to write me a lot notes and leave them for me; and I’d leave her notes too,” Breitbach says. For Caroline, there was comfort in these communications.

“Being the only parent, I had to just lean into it. I had to figure out how I was going to move through this -- how I was going to help them be good human beings. What you do influences them for the rest of their lives. I had to be a good role model,” Breitbach says.

Breitbach seldom dated. There was no time. When he did date, his dates didn’t meet his children. “That was just something I didn’t want to expose the kids to.”

Through the network of friends from school and sports teams, the kids befriended Kim Stanton whose niece and nephew knew Thomas and Caroline. Stanton became part of the community of people Breitbach relied on. Through a bit of prodding from Caroline, Stanton

Melissa Anderson with her daughter Sophia at the pumpkin patch and Breitbach went to out dinner with the kids, or to an occasional movie as a couple.

Breitbach’s relationship with Stanton grew and strengthened. They were married in 2003. Breitbach knows, for his children, no one will ever replace their mother, but as he says, “God put good people in my path.”

Thomas and Caroline are currently attending college.

Growing up together Kim Mitchell was 19 years old when his daughter Ashley was born.

“I got a phone call from Ashley’s mother six months after we’d broken up telling me she was six months pregnant,” Mitchell says. Deciding not to marry, the couple tried to figure out how to move forward.

After Ashley was born, Mitchell saw some disturbing signs. “Her motherly instinct didn’t seem to kick in,” he says of Ashley’s mother.

Then she told Mitchell she was planning to give four-month-old Ashley up for adoption. It was at that point Mitchell became a single parent.

Mitchell had plans to go to college and hang out with friends, but that all changed. He put his plans for school on hold and moved in with his mother, who had also been a single parent: Mitchell’s father had left his mother with Mitchell and his two sisters when Mitchell was 14.

“I could not have done this without her. She was a rock,” he says of his mother who has since passed away.

Mitchell went to college when Ashley was five-years-old leaving her in the care of his mother. “I wanted to wait until she was old enough MAGAZINE | WINTER 2010

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to know that I was only in school and I’d be home on weekends,” he says. Understandably, Ashley grew very close to her grandmother and soon was calling her ‘Mom.’ Admittedly, as Ashley grew up so did Mitchell. At such a young age, Mitchell wanted to date, although it was tough. When Mitchell got into a relationship and it ended, it was hard on Ashley. “After that, I learned to keep my relationships separate. Ashley just got too attached,” Mitchell says.

After college, Mitchell lived by himself. Although they had daily contact, Ashley continued to live with her grandmother in New Berlin. By her teen years, Ashley struggled with school. “She was skipping school, getting bad grades and had been caught drinking,” he says. Mitchell moved back in with Ashley and his mother when Ashley was 14 years old. “I’m her father, but sometimes the line got blurred. We were close in age -- we even listened to the same music. Sometimes, we were more like friends,” he remembers.

All living under the same roof, Mitchell attempted to set and enforce rules. Admittedly, he was overly harsh with discipline. But his mother would “cave in” and soften the rules or punishment.

Conflicting messages made it difficult for everyone.

Ashley’s grandmother -- the woman she called “Mom” -- passed away a year ago after a yearlong fight with cancer. Ashley took it “extremely hard,” he says. “They had a very special intimacy and I’ve tried to figure out how to fill that void for her, but it’s been a struggle,” Mitchell says of the strained relationship with his daughter.

“With my mother’s passing, we are both grieving, but we continue to try to find our way through it.”

Mitchell admits there are things he’d do differently. When he got out of college, he chose to have Ashley remain with his mother so she could stay with her friends and in the same school. “But looking back, I would have had her come live with me on the east side. Things may have turned out differently.”

Throughout Ashley’s childhood, her birth mother never reached out -- no birthday cards, no Christmas gifts. Recently, Ashley and her birth mother started talking on occasion. “And I see that they have ‘friended’ each other on Facebook,” Mitchell says.

Now 22, Ashley currently lives and works in Missouri. Mitchell says they see each other about every other month or so, and text or talk daily.

Single Parenting Success

S

By Judith Berger

ingle-parent households are on the rise -- whether by choice or circumstance. According to 2009 data from the U.S. Census Bureau, of custodial parents, approximately 84 percent are mothers and 16 percent are fathers.

Of the mothers who are custodial parents 45 percent are currently divorced or separated, 34.2 percent have never been married, 19 percent are married (In most cases, these numbers represent women who have remarried.) and 1.7 percent are widowed.

Of the fathers who are custodial parents, 57.8 percent are divorced or separated, 20.9 percent have never married, 20 percent are currently married (In most cases, these numbers represent men who have remarried.) and less than one percent are widowed.

Regardless of the situation, Polly Drew, Milwaukee psychotherapist and adjunct faculty member at the University of Wisconsin Whitewater advises not to put your child in the co-parenting position. “Find people who can help you -- whether it’s family members, friends, teachers, coaches, ministers, rabbis -- build a team of support. The important thing is for children to feel safe. Once these people are identified, it’s okay to ask for help. Bring people into their lives who they trust, admire and can go to, to be safe.”

A family is a hierarchy. Whether in a two-parent or single-parent home, the parent is “the last word,” she says. “The parents are the king and queen and the children are the royal subjects. Kids want and need boundaries. They want to know you will take care of them. You are their parents -- not their best friends.” Drew says switching roles from friend to parent confuses things.

Children of single parents don’t necessarily have more behavioral problems than children from two-parent homes, Drew says.

“Be firm. Lay down expectations. Discipline should be dispensed with love and honesty. Discipline should be obtainable, logical and short. Children need to know there are consequences to behavior.

Grounding your child is like grounding yourself. You need to follow through -- and the child needs to know you’ll follow through.”

Dating as a single parent Dating when you’re a single parent can be tricky, but it can be done, Drew says. Schedule dates when your children are in school, with friends or with your support team. “You need time to be an adult too. But don’t bring someone you’re dating into the parent-child relationship unless it’s really serious. Children don’t understand the nature of adult relationships. They become attached to the person you’re dating and think ‘we are now a family.’ When the relationship ends, kids grieve. They don’t have the coping skills to understand what has happened.”

Drew recommends taking care of your own needs as a single parent, but to also have the needs of your child in mind. Ask yourself, “How is this going to impact my child?”

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s expectant and new moms know, having a baby is one of the most wonderful experiences, but it can also be overwhelming. First-time mothers and veteran moms alike have questions about keeping their babies safe and healthy. They’re eager to learn about important areas such as nutrition, immunization and safe sleep.

To address their questions and concerns, the National Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition (HMHB) developed text4baby. This free mobile educational service promotes a healthy pregnancy and a healthy start in life for all babies.

With more than 1.3 trillion text messages sent and received in the U.S. in 2009, it makes sense to deliver vital health information through mobile technology.

Currently in the United States, more than 500,000 babies - one in every eight - are born prematurely. An estimated 28,000 children die before their first birthday, a rate among the highest in the industrialized world.

Premature infants come into the world with unique health needs that can mean lifelong challenges. Text4baby helps to address these issues by allowing timely and useful information to be distributed to help give babies the best possible start in life.

While not everyone has access to the Internet, 90 percent of Americans have a mobile phone. Text messaging is soaring in popularity and can be especially helpful in reaching first-time mothers in typically underserved populations.

How It Works By texting BABY (or BEBE for Spanish) to 511411, a woman will be signed up to receive three free text messages each week that are timed to her due date or baby’s date of birth. These messages focus on a variety of topics critical to maternal and child health, including birth defects prevention, immunization, nutrition, seasonal flu, mental health, oral health and safe sleep. Text4baby text messages also connect women to prenatal and infant care services and other resources.

Wireless carriers are waiving text-messaging fees for the initiative, so enrollees opting in to receive text messages will incur no charges. Even

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users without a text messaging plan or limited texting per month will receive these messages for free.

To date, text4baby has sent more than five million English and Spanish text messages to more than 83,000 pregnant and new mothers. According to text4baby enrollment numbers, 96 percent of participants would recommend the service to a friend. Also, of those using text4baby, 67 percent of the enrollees are receiving information about pregnancy, while the remaining 33 percent are getting information about newborns.

“For those of us dedicated to health education, knowing that text4baby messages are reaching the women who are most in need of them is incredibly pow-

erful and exciting,” said Judy Meehan, CEO of the National Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition.

“Thanks to our partnership with CTIA-The Wireless Foundation and the mobile carriers, more than five million valuable health messages have been put in the hands of thousands of pregnant women since our February 4 launch.”

Text4baby is made possible through a public-private partnership that includes more than 350 organizations.

The program’s founding partners include CTIA–The Wireless Foundation.

For more information, or to sign-up to receive the free text messages, visit www.text4baby.org.

baby

Tips for First-Time Moms ith experience comes wisdom, just ask any second-time mom. Without that experience available, first-time moms often make decisions based on what they think they are supposed to do. They end up purchasing the latest and greatest in baby books, baby gadgets and for-baby-only products – many of which they don’t really need. So, how can new moms make sure they aren’t overwhelmed by well-intended advice and inundated with unnecessary items?

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teaming up with Kerry Colburn, author of How to Have Your Second Child First, and creating a forum at www.facebook.com /alllaundry for first-time moms to find tips and seek out advice from other moms who have been there before. This facebook page can help moms save time and money by providing money-saving advice and coupons.

Here are some bits of wisdom for firsttime moms: · Moms should try to sleep (or nap) when your baby does; you are recovering from a pretty major experience.

· Wash all the family laundry together…Do you think any second-time parent gives a moment’s thought to separating the new baby’s laundry from the rest of the family’s – much less buying a separate detergent for that purpose? Just look for a laundry detergent for sensitive skin. · No need to tip-toe around when baby’s sleeping; if they’re used to noise they will sleep right through it. · And most importantly, if you’re feeling advice overload, ignore it all (except that of your pediatrician, of course).

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ADOPTION SPECIAL

AND

NEEDS

By Cyndi Strayer

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here are thousands of children waiting for homes to live in. In the state of Wisconsin alone there are 8,000 children living with foster families each year. And luckily for those children, their foster families are able to make an incredible difference for those children by providing safe and caring homes. But as my friends Julie and Eric Sapp from Jefferson will tell you, the foster children make an impact on the lives of foster families as well.

Julie says her childhood was an eye-opening experience. “My parents have been involved with foster care for 20 years, and because of it, it opened my eyes to the need out there for foster parents. It also helped me realize that these children need a friend, someone to lean on and a safe place to stay.�

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Julie and Eric describe foster parenting as “planting seeds.� They said that in the end you have to hang your hat on the fact that you have done your best and you hope they remember some of the things you taught and told them. “These kids are our family,� said Julie. “And when they are in our home, we try to let them be children without all the adult worries and concerns.� “We are not here to replace their parents,� Eric said. “We are a shoulder to lean on when they need it. We are their support. We also try to let them know we care about them and what goes on in their lives.�

There is an ongoing need for foster parents, especially those who can care for sibling groups, teenagers and children with disabilities.

For more information on foster care or about becoming a foster parent, please call 1-800-947-8074, contact your local county social and human service department or visit www.dhs.wisconsin.gov.

In most cases, foster children are not available for adoption.

However, when a foster child is eligible for adoption the foster parents may apply to adopt that child. In fact, it is estimated that foster parents adopt the child placed with them 80 percent of the time, leaving 20 percent of these children still needing permanent homes.

What this means is you don’t need to be a foster parent to adopt an available foster child.

These types of adoptions are known as special needs adoption.

Often times, these cases require a genuine love of parenting and solid commitment to help children. Why? Because adopting a child from the foster care system means you are creating a forever home for a child or children with a challenging history. Each of these children are unique and may possess different obstacle and/or difficulties. Some may be born with a physical condition that requires special equipment, medical care or dietary care. Other children may have special learning needs. There is also the fact that most of these children have been involved in the foster care system and have emotional scars as a result of abuse, neglect or even abandonment as a result of their biological families. For some, it is also the pain and scars of waiting to be adopted.

A child is considered special needs if he or she meets one or more of the following criteria: age 10 years or older, is a member of a minority race, has moderate or intensive emotional, behavioral or physical care needs or is a member of a sibling group of three or more. There is tremendous emphasis on keeping sibling groups together. After all, these children have been through enough without having to be separated from their siblings as well. Additionally, Children’s Service Society tries to find adoptive parents that are will-

ing to facilitate contact between children and other family members to maintain established connections.

There are more than 100,000 children available for adoption in the U.S. that are in need of a permanent family and home, according to Adopt U.S. Kids. If you and your family are interested in adopting a child from the foster care system, please go to Adoption Resources of Wisconsin.

Parenting a child with special needs may be challenging at times, but it can also be the most rewarding experience of your life—and the child’s life, too.

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Meet the Love of your Life!

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Learing

Acceptance

for those with

Special Needs

By Cyndi Strayer

Isn't every kid special?

Of course, they are.

But, what do we mean when we say a child has "special needs?"

A Definition When a child has a special need, it means he or she may need extra help because of a medical, emotional or learning problem.

These children have special needs because they might need medicine, therapy or extra help in school — stuff other kids don't typically need or only need once in a while. And whatever the special need is for a child, or an adult for that matter, it is important to remember they have feelings, wants and needs just

We serve families and providers who care for children and young adults with special health care needs through: Information, assistance and referrals. • Problem-solving.

• Diagnosis-specific information.

• Parent-to-parent connections.

• Access to training opportunities.

• Health benefits assistance.

• Limited service coordination.

•

Located on the first floor of Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin.

Call (414) 266-NEED (6333) or toll-free (800) 234-KIDS (5437).

The Southeast Regional Center for Children and Youth with Special Health Care Needs (CYSHCN) is funded by the Wisconsin CYSHCN Program, Division of Public Health, Department of Health Services with funds from the Maternal Child Health Title V Services Block Grant, MCH Bureau, Health Resources and Services Administration, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Children's Hospital of Wisconsin and The Daniel M. Soref Charitable Trust.

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like everyone else. That is why it is so important to teach our children acceptance and tolerance for those who are different from them.

How can you help your child understand?

When you are with your child and you see a person who needs a wheelchair or uses braces to walk, use that opportunity to talk to

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your child about how it is important to have ramps and elevators so that person can get to the same places you can without them. Explain how that person may need special transportation that can lifts them up into the vehicle so he or she doesn’t have to get up the steps.

It is also important to remind your children, that not all kids with special needs have visible needs, like those in a wheelchair. Some special needs children have an illness, such as epilepsy, diabetes or cerebral palsy. They might need medicine or other help as they go about their daily activities. Kids with sight problems might need Braille books to read. Kids with hearing or speech problems might need hearing aids to hear and speech training to help them say words correctly.

After all, it is often difficult to pronounce things correctly when you can’t hear very well. Then, there are children with learning problems; for example, a child with Down syndrome may attend regular classes but have an aide come in and help him or her.

needs, perhaps your child will learn from the other child what it's like to be in his or her shoes. There is no better way to learn acceptance and tolerance. And you’re child would also be helping fill a very special need, one that everybody has — the need for good friends.

Pick Up An Issue

TODAY!

What can your child do to help a child with special needs?

While sometimes life can be extra-challenging for a kid with special needs, most of them want to be as independent as possible. That means they would like to do as much as they can on their own; however, other children can be a big help by being a friend.

Children with special needs want friends just like any of us do, but meeting people and making friends can be tough, especially when some kids tease them or make fun of them.

Teach your child to tell a teacher if he or she sees a child with special needs being teased or ridiculed. It is very lonely and hurtful to be teased or bullied, and no one should tolerate it.

Being friendly to kids with special needs is one of the best ways to be helpful. As your child gets to know another child with special

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By Cyndi Strayer

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ou may not realize this, but it is that time of year again. The time of year when parents and students start thinking about their plans for the 2011-2012 school year, while area schools open their doors to invite parents and students into their schools for their open house. These open house events are the best opportunity for you to see everything a school has to offer in the value of education and more.

Often times, an open house allows parents and students to view displays, speak with advisors and staff from each school and college, view samples of student work, take specialized tours of buildings and departments

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and so much more!

Participants are able to learn about areas they are already interested, as well as be introduced to new and different possibilities they may not have previously considered.

Make Connections Most of all, an open house is the perfect time to make connections.

You may not realize it, but many schools track a student’s level of interest in their school. This becomes especially important should the school take applications for admissions.

Any time you visit a school, have an interview or meet with the athletic director or faculty member, this information is usually recorded in your admission file. When an admission staff member reads your application, your interest in that college is noted. Will this be an important consideration when it comes down to final admission? Of course not, but it could be a factor along with your transcript, course history, test scores and recommendations should you and another applicant seems similar on paper. There are times when the student who has actually visited the campus or attended an open house may have an advantage over another student who has had little contact with the college.

Preparing for an Open House Before you attend an open house, do your homework. It’s a good idea to know some information about the school you’re interested in, such as things you like about the school campus or how informative the school’s website is. Staff members and counselors enjoy talking with students who are well informed about their school.

An open house also allows you to meet with people--a coach, a teacher, the choral director or the director of theater department—and to ask questions. If you have any questions about a school, this is the chance to ask. You may even want to come with a list of prepared questions.

Another great benefit of an open house is the opportunity to spend time on the school’s campus. The goal of an open house is to expose prospective students to everyday life at the school. You learn about classes, meet with teachers and other professionals at the school and learn about extracurricular activities.

An open house is truly your opportunity to really discover if this is the school you want to attend or not. So make the most of it, so you can make the best, informed decision you can. After all, it is your education and your future.

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xposure to books in the early childhood stages plays a key role in a child’s reading development, and while most parents and caregivers know that children benefit from reading time, many struggle to fit it into their children’s hectic schedules.

A survey conducted on behalf of VTech, an electronic learning products provider, found that more than 40 percent of moms with children ages three to seven years old said that not having enough time to spend reading with their children is the biggest challenge they face in trying to make reading a daily activity. And nearly half wished there were ways to include reading in their child’s on-the-go schedule.

Fortunately, there are plenty of fun and practical ways to make reading a part of everyday family life.

Making Reading Fun You can help a child develop reading skills even when you’re running errands or doing activities together. By going places and doing things with children, you help build their background knowledge and vocabulary, giving them a basis for understanding what they read.

Telling stories and interacting with each other while on the go helps them develop their listening and thinking skills.

And now there are technologies that let you take interesting reading material wherever you go. The new VReader, the first interactive, animated e-book system for children, creates an engaging reading experience for early readers, ages three to seven, so they love to learn to read.

The touch-and-read e-book brings stories to life with narration, characters, animation, graphics, sounds and music. Kids interact as they listen and follow along with a story, or touch the screen and play games to learn each word and sentence.

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Create a Reading-Friendly Environment Research shows that lack of access to books and educational materials is the single greatest barrier to literacy development in the US and beyond. Books, magazines, newspapers and other reading tools should be within easy reach of the whole family. Try designating a bookcase or shelf where children can keep a personal library.

According to First Book, a nonprofit organization that provides new books to children in need, a steady stream of new, age-appropriate books has been shown to nearly triple interest in reading within months. By visiting www.firstbook.org, families, teachers and reading programs can help children from low-income communities build their own home libraries and start the journey to becoming lifelong readers.

Some other tips for helping young readers develop include: — Read with your child every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

— Ask open-ended questions, such as “What do you think is going to happen next?” or “Why do you think he did that?”

— Read your child’s favorite book over and over.

— Find out what interests your child and get reading materials to feed that interest.

— Let children see you read and invite them to read with you.

The US Department of Education (DOE) also recommends that when reading a book aloud to young children, point to each word as you read. This helps the child make a visual connection to the fact that the word said is the word seen.

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Reading is the Road to Success

R

eading is the foundation for a child’s education.

Without strong reading skills, it’s harder for any child to succeed.

Research has shown that reading proficiently by the end of third grade is a major milestone on a child’s path to graduation. This is the time when children make the critical transition from learning to read to reading to learn. Parents and caring adults are essential when it comes to strengthening a child’s reading skills and nurturing a love of reading outside of the classroom.

You can promote literacy in your home by: Bringing Out the Books. Make books visible and easily accessible, so there's always encouragement to read. Studies have shown that preschoolers who have frequent read-aloud time with their parents have stronger language skills later in life – including higher reading, spelling and IQ scores at age 13.

Hitting the Library. Show your kids that reading is a priority in your family by including the library on your list of errands. Keep a book bag in the car so it's easy to carry new books and return the old. Kids will love the chance to make their own decisions by choosing books that interest them.

Studies show that when kids have fun reading books that match their reading levels and interests, they become better readers.

Having Family Reading Night. Instead of family movie night, make family activities more engaging and educational by reading to your child. Allow your child to pick a favorite book that you can read together and engage your little one by describing all of the pictures that are on each page. By reading together, you and your child will learn and discover new books and subjects. Making reading time a regular family activity communicates the importance – and the fun – of reading.

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: s r e n n Ma Teach Your Children for the Holidays and Beyond

By Kim Seidel

Y

ou can start early with your children to practice their manners for upcoming holiday get-togethers.

Following are courtesy basics for children, according to Diane Gottsman, a nationally- recognized etiquette expert.

These manners should be taught throughout the year, not only on special occasions.

Introductions: When your children meet new

friends or relatives teach them to say something similar to: “Hello, my name is . . . .” Teach them to extend their right hand (even if left-handed), and to firmly shake the hand that’s extended to them.

Proper eye contact: Instruct your children to maintain eye contact about half the time a person is speaking to the. If you have a child that is uncomfortable with direct eye contact, tell him or her to look at the bridge of the person’s nose.

The handshake:

(or what to do with an unexpected hug): Remind your children to give a firm handshake and a friendly hug when appropriate. If you know a certain relative likes hugs, you can “warn” your children ahead of time.

Know how to use a napkin: Napkins should remain on the children’s laps during the meal. If they need to excuse themselves they should place the napkin in the chair and push the chair in.

At the end of dinner, the napkin goes on the left side of the plate.

Where their glass is on the table: The drinking glass goes on the right of the plate.

What to do if they don’t like a food: Tell your children that if they don’t care for an entree to simply not eat it. Instruct them not to make any negatives comments or “yucky” faces over the food.

Use courteous words: Talk to your children about regularly using “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me.” During meals, they should ask to “please pass” the salt, etc., and to say “thank you” when it’s passed to them.

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Don’t interrupt:

Remind your children about no interruptions during conversations. If someone asks them a question, that is their cue to respond.

Gottsman recommends that young children, especially those under age five, should not be expected to sit through a long meal. Keep it to about 20 minutes, and then adults can linger over dessert while the kids play with their toys.

What to do, if they don’t like a gift:

Practice an acceptable scenario before a child opens presents in front of family and friends. Even if he or she doesn’t like a gift – or already has that item - a child needs to genuinely smile and say thank you.

Send thankyou notes: Mailing a thank you note is a must. If the child is too young to write, have him or her draw a picture of the gift. A parent can write the note for the younger child, and he or she can sign her own name. A thank-you from older children can include why they liked the gift or how they’re using it.

Consistency is required to teach your children “good graces,” says Gottsman.

Kim Seidel is an award-winning writer and editor who lives in Wisconsin.

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Tiime Family amiilyy Time

ith soccer practice, piano lessons, friends, homework, tests and more, there are countless activities that compete for time on the family calendar. With thoughtful planning, you can be sure that fun family time gets penciled in, too.

Karen Deerwester, family expert and author of The Entitlement-Free Child: Raising Confident and Responsible Kids in a ‘Me, Mine, Now!’ Culture, highlights the importance of scheduling family time.

“Unite the family in the art of fun by planning weekly activities together,” Deerwester says. “When you do, you give your family the most precious gift of all – time together to laugh, enjoy one another and stay connected.”

Family time can serve as an escape from the demands and deadlines of life. It is an opportunity to make memories together based on fun and laughter. Depending on schedules and ages, there are many ways to get your family started.

Whether eating takeout or making a home-cooked dinner, bring your family together at mealtime. Sit at the table together and talk about the events of the day, the last vacation you shared or a favorite home video.

Whenever possible, you should try to make meals an event at home. This creates an occasion for families to bond over everyday responsibilities.

When in the car with your children, don’t be drowned out by the radio or headphones. Keep the dial turned off and initiate conversations about school, friends, recent accomplishments or daily challenges. Your child will feel comfortable talking to you and will look forward to this special travel time together.

Board games and puzzles are another way to bring together family members of all ages for moments of fun. The effort to spend merely 30 minutes playing games will be richly rewarded as playing board games together strengthens family relationships, sparks conversations and brings everyone together in silliness and laughter.

For the word fans in the family, try Scrabble Flash, a new game that pits

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players against the clock to build as many three-to-five letter words as possible. It’s perfect for a moment of fun and excitement. Another updated classic, Sorry! Spin, unites the family with a new way to play the game of sweet revenge. This edition features a rotating game board which makes getting “Home” more unpredictable and fun than ever before; it also engages players on every move, making it anyone’s game to win.

“Family Game Night builds powerful family connections and creates a family identity based on fun, laughter, shared interests and individual strengths,” Deerwester says. “This is the time to tell the kids that you really want to spend time with them to simply have fun!”

Make sure building a relationship as a family doesn’t take the backseat this school year and schedule time for your family. Your children will thank you for it.

For more family time tips, visit familygamenight.com.

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Taming Your Child’s

Monster Wish List All Year

m

By Kim Seidel

ost children feel compelled to keep up with their friends, and the holidays and birthdays can bring out their desires for expensive goods even more. It’s up to parents to set limits and to create harmony for the entire family.

“Parents need to step up to the plate and put a limit on how much can be put on the gift list,” says Barbara Kilikevicius, author of A Mindful Christmas…How to Create a Meaningful, Peaceful Holiday. “Santa isn’t spending the money any more, it’s the parents.”

Diana Ennen’s teen daughter once included a pricey, $90 purse on her wish list. “This was not even one of her ‘big presents’ – just one of the extras,” Ennen says. “I can see spending money on an iPod, computer or camera, but that expensive of a purse, I just couldn’t justify it.”

Teach children to value money To solve this problem, Ennen suggested to her daughter that she go shopping online for purses. She picked out several alternatives so that she wouldn’t know the exact purse she would find under the Christmas tree.

“My daughter also spent time looking for coupons and was able to find a coupon for $10 off as well. This taught her, I believe, the value of money and how with just a little bit of effort, you can save money,” Ennen says. “I also think teenagers need to know that they can’t get everything they want.”

Along with asking for expensive gifts, children this age often think they want the “very, very best,” says Ennen. Along with the purse, her daughter asked for a $400 camera, which Ennen attributes to the price itself and the marketing of the camera company.

Instruct children to shop around To overcome this challenge, Ennen instructed her daughter to take notes on different cameras she found in the newspaper, writing down each of the benefits and features.

“She was clearly able to see that the expensive camera really didn’t offer that much more, and sev-

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eral of the others had features she liked even more,” Ennen says. “This exercise was beneficial because she was able to compare exactly what she wanted. It worked, and I saved money.”

Once again, Ennen had her daughter write down several alternatives so that she wouldn’t know for sure what she’d receive on the “big day.”

“Kids will be taught the family’s values according to their parents,” Kilikevicius says. “By parents staying true to their deepest values and acting with wisdom, they are giving their children a gift far more valuable than anything bought in a store.”

Show children the art of appreciation “During the holiday season and throughout the year, it’s important that children from all backgrounds understand the value of a dollar and

appreciate any gift, no matter how small,” says Sharon Fried Buchalter, a clinical psychologist and family/marriage therapist. “We, as parents, may want to give our children what we didn’t have when we were kids. While this is admirable, we need to make sure that we don’t spoil our children. This is especially important for parents of tweens and teens to understand, now that gifts are becoming more lavish and expensive.”

Prevent spoiling your children How can parents ensure their children don’t become spoiled during the holidays?

Teach gratitude: “Parents should ensure that their children don’t ‘expect’ gifts from their parents or others,” Buchalter says. “When desires turn into expectations, it can lead to children being spoiled.

Instead, make sure you teach your children to be grateful for even the smallest gift.”

Role model courtesies: As parents, make sure you tell them always to say “please” and “thank you” when receiving gifts and during appropriate times at holiday get-togethers. “Make sure they know that even though they say, ‘please,’ they may not always get what they want,” Buchalter says.

Teach the difference between “want” and “need:” Another common issue during the holidays, Buchalter says, is when a child tells a parent something like, “Johnny has that toy. I need it.”

Parents can ensure that their children understand the difference between a “want” and a “need.” Buchalter says, “Rather than sticking to that old adage, ‘If Johnny jumped off a bridge, would you?’ make it clear that while you want to provide them with the best, they can’t always get what their friends have for various reasons.”

Spread the word to family: Other ways to cope with the holiday “gimmes” include letting extended family know that gift giving should be kept to a minimum.

Or you may want to ask a child to choose a charity they would like to donate to, and ask relatives to donate in their honor. “The child will later receive notice of this contribution, and it will fill them with pride and the desire to help others in the future,” Buchalter says.

Donate, volunteer to charity: By word and example, parents should teach their children to be grateful for what they have received.

A good way to instill this lesson of being thankful and to teach them how to give is to have your kids donate some of their toys and other belongings to those in need.

“Another great way to do this is to volunteer helping those less fortunate,” Buchalter says. “These activities can be done as a family and can bring the family closer together, while also helping others.”

It’s wise for parents to teach their children that giving can be an incredible experience, Kilikevicius says. Be open to their ideas.

“Sometimes just bringing cans of food to a food drive doesn't feel so personal,” she says. “However, baking cookies and delivering them to your local fire or police department to show your gratitude can go a long way and be a lot of fun.”

Kim Seidel is an award-winning writer and editor in Wisconsin and is the mother of two daughters, ages 8 and 12. She and her husband have been married for 17 years.

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BULLYING: What Can Be Done To Fix This Problem?

By Amy Winter

B

ullying among children is a school issue that never will be eliminated completely. However, communication and clearly defined rules can help to reduce bullying incidents and effects. Dr. Sylvia Rimm, writer of several books and of the syndicated column "Sylvia Rimm on Raising Kids," says recent bullying could be seen as a bigger problem than it was in the past because of more aggressive bullies and bullied victims waging huge attacks on other students. And new technology tools, such as text messaging, Twitter and Facebook, make it easier to pick on children at a faster pace.

"Bullying has been around in schools for centuries, but in the past several decades, it has erupted into a major crisis in schools where administrators do not treat bullying as a major campus problem," says Dr. Robert Wallace, writer of the syndicated column "Tween 12 & 20."

"Bullying reflects the violent scene in today's society."

Bullying is defined as "hitting, name-calling, exclusion or other behavior that is meant to hurt another person," according to Stop Bullying Now! (http://StopBullyingNow.hrsa.gov/kids). Bullies usually target weaker victims in order to gain control. This control makes the bullies feel powerful. Rimm says some bullies work in groups, and some attack alone.

"Essentially, all kids are teased at some point growing up, and it is important to learn how to deal with it," says Dr. Henry Gault, a child and adolescent psychiatrist who is part of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. "However, if it continues and a youngster feels more and more alone and isolated, there can be serious consequences."

Although bullying can occur at any age, Rimm says that the middleschool years tend to see frequent bullying incidents. Early adolescents are usually less confident in their sexuality and physical attractiveness and less secure with their friend groups as they go through puberty.

Gault suggests friendships as a powerful element against bullies.

Because bullies enjoy targeting single kids, a friend may serve as a protective tool.

The goal is for a child to convey the message that he or she won't be pushed around. Ignoring a bully hardly ever works; the child still is seen as vulnerable. In milder cases, kids most likely can take care of the bullies alone. Stan Davis -- a former school counselor and founder of Stop Bullying Now! -- is co-leading the Youth Voice Research Project to learn more about bullying prevention. The research has found that "telling them to stop" or trying to "walk away" makes the situation worse with bullies. During the research, when kids fought back against bullies, the situation only improved a third of the time. The most influential solutions included receiving support and protection from friends, adults at home and adults at school, according to Davis.

When the bullying becomes more serious and occurs on a daily basis, the school (principal, social worker, teacher) needs to take a role in stopping it. Wallace, a former high-school principal, says that bullying can be prevented "when all school employees work in harmony to treat bullying as a serious school violation that must be eliminated with firm but fair discipline." Schools with anti-bully programs, which help to comprehend why bullying occurs and aid bullies in developing new personas, have been productive.

"Schools can very actively address bullying from day one by making clear that all students must be treated with respect," Gault says. "You don't have to like everyone or be friends with everyone, but they have to be treated with respect."

Kids who are bullied can suffer from severe psychological damage.

Gault sees bullied children dealing with anxiety, depression, withdrawal, low self-esteem, a poor self-image and school refusal. Bullied victims also may take out their frustration on weaker children, becoming bullies themselves, according to Rimm. Bullies suffer from their own emotional issues.

Stop Bullying Now! says that families who practice inconsistent discipline and give little adult attention are likelier to raise children who will bully. Regular and fair discipline teaches self-control and responsibility, according to the site.

"If teasing and cruelty to others were not tolerated and kids early on were taught about respecting others, if youngsters who appeared to be on their way to becoming bullies were treated early on, schools could then do a great deal to reduce the incidence and severity of bullying," Gault says.

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By Kim Seidel

he extra sparkle on my daughter’s nine-year-old cheeks caught my attention. “Are you wearing makeup?” I asked with a tinge of shock in my voice. She didn’t respond, but her cheeks turning a shade brighter under the peach blush gave me the answer.

A few seconds later, she burst out, “I wanted to try out your makeup!” I gave her a reassuring smile, and told her she looked pretty. “But, you look beautiful without it,” I reassured her.

She proudly sported the blush for the rest of the day around the house and later added on some lip-gloss. Of course, her little sister soon joined her by putting on “lipstick” too.

Experimenting with mom’s makeup is a natural part of growing up. I remember admiring the lipsticks and face powders in my own mother’s bathroom cabinet when I was a young girl.

When is it time for your daughter to wear makeup outside of the house? This is one of those questions all moms of girls will need to answer at some point.

“It is amazing how fast little girls are growing up; at times, it’s even frightening,” says Mary Jo Rapini, a psychotherapist and coauthor of the book, Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom (Bayou Publishing, 2008).

Telling your 12-year-old daughter she can’t wear makeup until she’s older may only cause her to rebel or to develop feelings of shame associated with it.

“A better approach is to have a heart-toheart talk,” Rapini says. “To put both of you at ease, go for a walk, or sit in an ice cream shop or wherever the two you can talk without interruptions.”

Communicating about makeup The main question to ask her is “Why do you want to wear makeup?” Maybe it makes your daughter feel prettier, or she’s trying to fit in.

“Your daughter may be concerned about her skin and feels makeup covers unsightly acne scars or other flaws,” Rapini says. “This is a difficult time of changes, both physically and emotionally. Physically, as the face grows, it isn’t uncommon for different parts of the face to look exaggerated as compared to other parts. And emotionally, she’s starting to try and figure out who she is and how she can be like all her peers. Make sure your daughter knows that you care about her and how she feels about her appearance.”

Rapini also says, “She needs to feel supported by you instead of shamed. She will feel better about herself because she knows you understand how she feels. It’s also a good time to identify how you felt during that time of your life. “You can tell her how ‘too much makeup’ is not necessarily going to make her look like she is more grown up. The key to achieve looking more grown up is to be confident in your skin.”

By listening to your daughter and offering

your support – not judging her – you will be in a better position to help her build that confidence that radiates from the inside to the outside. “It is important that your daughter feels like she can talk to you honestly about her concerns and that you won't dismiss them as being foolish and not important,” Rapini says.

“If she is concerned about her skin texture or acne, it would be wise to see a dermatologist with her.”

Teaching daughters how-to wear makeup Rapini encourages moms to plan a “girl’s weekend,” and to take a makeup class together. “Many times, the reasons young girls over do makeup is because they were not taught the ‘correct way’ to apply it,” Rapini says.

“They are heavy handed with eye-liner and mascara because they copy their peers – who are not taught the correct way – instead of understanding how makeup is meant to enhance their skin and features.”

Soon after I found my daughter playing with my powders, I asked a Mary Kay consultant, Lynn Weiland, if she would attend Rachel’s 10th birthday party to teach her and her friends about makeup. Weiland accepted my invitation. The mother of a 13year-old daughter herself, she loves to educate young girls about makeup, and especially skin care.

My daughter and her friends listened with interest to Weiland’s friendly discussion on the changes puberty brings to their skin, includcont. on page 25

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The Right

the separation process. When you inflict your taste on your child, it will make for many arguments."

Whether you ante up or your child pays for all or part of his/her back-to-school wardrobe, retain the right of first refusal, Bartell says. And if he/she chooses something that isn't flattering, say so, but do it oneon-one when your child is not tired and when friends and siblings aren't around. "It's tough. You need to be very, very sensitive."

Taking a look at the "norm" in your area can help you decide about such things as when to allow makeup, but it should not dictate your ultimate decision, Bartell says. But if your child struggles socially, "it should be strongly considered. A child who already has a hard time making friends needs to be able to fit in, in superficial ways. That's just reality!"

Communicating with your child about clothing and makeup choices can start as early as grade school, experts say, as a way to counter the barrage of images of provocatively dressed young entertainers they see on television, in movies and in magazines. Younger children simply have a hard time distinguishing the difference between dress-up and the real world, so if your young daughter watches as you apply makeup, it may be the ideal time to explain "why shimmered eyes, lacquered lips and brightly colored cheeks might look great on her dolls but aren't what people wear on a daily basis," says Sarah McIlroy, CEO and co-founder of FashionPlaytes, an online design studio that enables girls ages five to 12 to design and produce their own clothing lines. "She needs to know there's a distinction between Barbie-land and the real world."

McIlroy started her company to provide the kind of fashion confidence she gained as a child in working with her mother, a skilled sewer who was able to transform her daughter's sketches for school and party clothes into real garments. "I'd like to offer girls the chance to create something unique and build their confidence and self-esteem in the process, says McIlroy, now the mother of two. "At the essence of our business is collaboration between parents and daughters throughout the design process."

Even if you haven't had the chance to open that line of communication until you and your child are already at odds over clothing and/or makeup choices, don't be afraid to speak up. "If an outfit is inappropriate because of the child's age or because of the setting in which he or she will be wearing it, explain the reason for your objection and hold your ground," says attorney and psychologist Dr. Robert Goldman, a specialist in children's issues. "If your objection is based purely on what you like and don't like, if it is purely a matter of taste, you could let your child know that though this wouldn't be something you would choose for him or her, the choice is his or hers."

COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM

AGE:

Determining What Your Child Should Wear

By Vicky Katz Whitaker

W

hen it comes to picking clothes for school, your teenage daughter wants to look "hot," her brother insists on really baggy jeans, and their preteen little sister wants to dress like a pop star. What's a parent to do?

Set the ground rules, and don't back off, the experts say. "It's important to begin with some rules and make sure that your child/teen knows them and that you are consistent about them. If you don't have bottom line rules (e.g., no skirts/shorts above fingertip length, no bra straps or underwear sticking out, no bellybuttons showing), your child won't have anything to start with and you won't have a position from which to negotiate initially," says psychologist, consultant and author Dr. Susan Bartell.

But that doesn't mean your child's clothes have to be a carbon copy of what you wear, she adds. "Your child's clothing choices do not and should not reflect your taste, but they should reflect the level of modesty that is socially and developmentally appropriate. This needs to be negotiated properly so your child feels that you understand her needs and you feel comfortable with what she is wearing," she says. "It's normal for your child to have different taste than you. It's generational and part of Make-up cont. from page 24

ing acne, and they couldn’t wait to try out the skin care and makeup samples she had brought along.

The girls enjoyed experimenting to create a “natural look” with makeup, which is most ideal for the middle and high school years. Eye colors in lilac, pink and honey, and cheek hues in pink and peach can provide a natural look. Lip-glosses in pink, bronze and berry can give the girls some extra color yet remain natural in appearance. The girls were able to also play with mascara, which takes a lot of practice, and select their own personal fragrance.

During the get-together, Weiland asked the girls to whom they wear makeup for. She encouraged them that their answer should be for “themselves,” rather than to impress boys and other girls. “It’s so important that girls wear makeup for themselves,” says Weiland. “The way you feel on the inside and the outside form a strong core. Having the proper tools and skills to use the tools are part of strengthening this core that is so vulnerable in adolescence.”

Kim Seidel is an award-winning writer and editor in Wisconsin and is the mother of two daughters, ages 8 and 12. She and her husband have been married for 17 years.

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Quality time: Making the most of time

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with grandchildren

By Ginny Frizzi

n the America depicted by Norman Rockwell, grandparents and grandchildren lived near each other and spent a lot of time together.

This scenario has changed during the past few decades as American society has become more mobile, which often results in the generations living thousands of miles apart.

The bond between grandparents and grandchildren remains a special one, even if they reside on opposite coasts. In reality, however, this bond may have to be relearned if they only see each other a few times a year, according to Rabbi Richard Address, specialist and congregation consultant for the North American Reform movement in the areas of aging, being a grandparent and elder care.

"If they're lucky, they live close to each other. It changes everything if they live far apart," Address says.

"Long distance requires the cultivation of the bond," agrees Rhiannon Beauregard, a licensed marriage and family therapist. "You have to start early because the younger they are the more work it requires."

Long distances present a special challenge when grandparents do see the grandchildren in person, Address points out. "It takes about a day to relearn the relationship, especially as the grandchildren get older," he says. "By the time they are six or seven, they have their own routines and lives, including such activities as ballgames or recitals. Older kids can be more difficult because they can become involved in even more activities that take up their time."

Electronic communication is an important way to stay in touch with grandchildren. As more tech-savvy baby boomers become grandparents, grandchildren are having less of a problem communicating with their grandparents online.

"Grandparents in their 50s and 60s with young grandchildren are doing a better job in terms of technology," Beauregard says. "It's not dif-

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Danielle, of Brookfield, celebrates her first birthday with Great Grandma, Barbara Silvernail, of Milwaukee. ficult these days with e-mail, Skype, text messages and Facebook friends. These generations speak in technology and keep up with the changes."

Beauregard says technology is a great way for grandparents and grandchildren to make and share memories and have an ongoing presence in each other's lives. "You can be part of their day-to-day lives without being there," she says. "Grandparents can be relevant and ask about what's going on in their lives, such as how the flute recital went."

Grandparents should make a point of acknowledging various milestones in their grandchildren's lives, Beauregard says. "Don't acknowledge just the big milestones; also acknowledge everyday ones, such as reports cards or earning a Scout badge. Show your support early on. If the kids know their grandparents are there, they will go to them for advice and talk to them."

The connection also can be built through shared experiences. For example, a grandchild might mention that he is having problems in math.

"The grandparent may have had the same problem and can say, 'I had problems with math, too,' and they can talk about it," Beauregard says.

Though utilizing technology to stay in touch is great, it is not as good as being there. Address, who believes it is also important to develop some family rituals while together, points out, "The economy is a wild card here and a real issue when it comes to travel," Address says. "The kids may not have the $1,500 for airfare to take their kids to visit the grandparents."

Not being able to see each other makes staying in touch even more important. Scrapbooks or memory boxes are a traditional way to do this.

Parents and grandchildren can collect and preserve cards, letters, photos, e-mail messages and other communications from grandparents.

Beauregard says, "The kids will appreciate the effort and the scrapbook or memory box later because they can look back and see how involved their grandparents were in their lives." This also enables the children to see the contents grow and be reminded of their grandparents on a regular basis.

COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM

Growing Gardeners - Oats, Peas,

State Forest, 10:30am - 11:30am.

Rocks can be smooth, shiny, colorful, and fun to collect. Come ready to be surprised by some very strange rocks.

This is a free event (414) 527-0232 www.friendsofhavenwoods.org

9 to 6:15pm Families are invited to a fun-filled program of stories, songs, & crafts in English & Spanish. English only speakers, Spanish-only speakers & bilingual speakers are all welcome.

(414) 276-3011 Nature Sprouts Oh, Turkey Feathers! Retzer Nature Center, 10-11 am or 1-2 pm (Ages: 4-6) Humans say the darndest things: “By George!”,“Holly cow!”, “Hot diggity dog!” Learn to speak in animal! A snack and a craft included for extra fun.

FEE: $3. Reg. Req. (262) 548-7801 www.friendsofretzer.com

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does our Food Come From? Boerner 1:00 PM & 3:30 PM. Tickets Botanical Gardens, 10:30am-11:30am required. Journey to Neverland in this (Ages 3-5)Learn about where our food fast-paced adaptation of the classic comes from & More! Make a craft & enjoy snack. Fees Apply. Req. Req. tale. (414) 267-2929 (414) 525-5659 www.firststage.org www.boernerbotanicalgardens.org Christmas Parade, Waukesha 4:00 PM - 5:30 PM Parade featuring 100 units of marching bands, floats, novelty groups, costume characters, the Dancing Grannies & much more! FREE (262) 549-6154 www.downtownwaukesha.com

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saturday

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Family FREE Day at the ZOO! Milwaukee Public Zoo, Visit on these free admission days, and enjoy all that our zoological park has to offer. Stop in the Aviary to see some of our newer residents, the Gentoo penguins. (414) 256-5412 www.milwaukeezoo.org Discovery Saturday - Meet & Greet-Snakes and Turtles, Havenwoods State Forest, Drop in from 9am to noon.See education animals up close & personal. We'll have several animals out for you to watch & touch FREE EVENT. (414) 527-0232 www.friendsofhavenwoods.org One Wild Saturday Morning Squirrels, Havenwoods State Forest, 9am-12pm. Did you know that the gray squirrel is not the only squirrel in WI? Drop in & find out what other kinds there are, Make a field guide of squirrels to take home, & a flying squirrel glider FREE (414) 527-0232 www.friendsofhavenwoods.org

1st All Saint's Day 3nd Sandwich Day 5th Guy Fawkes Day 11th Veteran's Day

13th Sadie Hawkins Day 16th Party With Your Bear Day 18th Great American Smokeout 29th Square Dance Day

November is... Native American Heritage Month & Peanut Butter Lovers Month 31

ArtsPower's The Rainbow Fish, 23 South Milwaukee Performing 24

Arts Center, 10AM to 11, ArtsPower has turned Marcus Pfister’s bestselling book into a delightful and touching musical about the value of sharing true friendship with others. A musical for grades K-2. Cost: $5.

(414) 766-5049 Preschool Story Time, Slithering Snakes Havenwoods State Forest, 9:30am – 10:30am.

Could you move without any legs or eat without hands? Come meet some snakes and learn how they survive.

FREE EVENT. (414) 527-0232 www.friendsofhavenwoods.org

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friday

Kohl’s Healthy Kids: It’s How You Play the Game, Betty Brinn Children’s Museum, 9:48-10:48am (Ages 3 - 12) Play games w/ exciting questions & active challenges that highlight good nutrition, safety rules & gear, personal care routines & more (414) 390-5437, www.bbcmkids.org A Night At Hogwarts, Carthage College Hedberg Library Niemann Theatre, Kenosha. 6:00PM to 6:30PM. Go through the Sorting Hat and join your House as you take classes from Potions to Mathemagic to Defense Against the Dark Arts and more. FREE Event. (262)551-5906 www.carthage.edu/familyfun/ 23rd Annual Yuletide Faire, Story Time at the Wisconsin Prairie Hill Waldorf School Humane Society, Wisconsin Humane Society, Milwaukee. 10:30 Pewaukee, 2 to 9pm Medieval-themed festival that is fun for the whole to 11am (Ages 2-4) Animal-related family. Storytelling, Pickle Man, live books w/ a humane theme will be music, children's craft workshops, face read, followed by activities & an opportunity to meet an animal.limit 3 painting, Adults, $5; Under 16, $2 children per adult. (414) 264-6257 (262) 646-7497 www.prairiehillwaldorf.org www.wihumane.org My Son Pinocchio, First Stage Childrens Theater, Tickets Req, Ages 4+, 7PM. A musical story of hope, love, and family. Featuring an original score by Stephen Schwartz, the award-winning composer of Wicked. (414) 267-2929 w w w. f i r s t s t a g e . o r g

thursday

Crafty Club St. Francis Public Library, 5:15-6:15 p.m. Cost $1 material fee. Bring a friend and come get your craft on! Make great gifts for friends and family. We will make projects with duct tape!For ages 10+.

Reg. Req. (414) 481-7323 www.stfrancislibrar y.org

Bilingual Family Story Time 10 Forest Home Library, 5:30 PM 11

3

wednesday

Peter Pan and Wendy, Preschool Story Time, Rocks 14 First Stage Childrens Theater, 15 Beans, and Barley Grow Where 16 in My Pockets, Havenwoods 17

8

2

tuesday

Preschool Story Time Scampering Squirrels, Havenwoods State Forest, 9:30am 10:30am. Gray Squirrels! Red squirrels! Fox squirrels!

Squirrels in the park! Squirrels are fun to watch and learn about. FREE (414) 527-0232 www.friendsofhavenwoods.org Wee Wonders “Gobble, Gobble, Honk”, Retzer Nature Center 9:30-10:15am (Ages 2-4) Time for the geese and duck to move along, have fun turning ourselves into a feathered gobbler & learn how to walk & talk like them. FEE $3 (262) 548-7801 www.friendsofretzer.com

9:46 AM

1:00 pm & 3:30pm. Tickets required. Journey to Neverland in this fast-paced adaptation of the classic tale. (414) 267-2929 www.firststage.org

1

monday

Words for Whiskers, Martin Luther King Libary, 5:30 - 7PM. (Grades 1 -5) Read to a registered therapy cat for 25 min. each week for four weeks. Readers receive a certificate of accomplishment & a small gift upon completion Reg. Req. (414) 286-3011, www.mpl.org

11/8/10

Peter Pan and Wendy, 7 First Stage Childrens Theater,

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Open Studio: The Art of

time of year when Santa shares a meal with kids! Enjoy lunch, musical fun and a special holiday gift.

(414) 256-5412 www.milwaukeezoo.org

Museum, 10 AM–4 PM. Each month Museum, 10 AM–4 PM. Each month features a different them, and the art features a different them, and the art projects change weekly! No experience projects change weekly! No experience necessary; materials are provided. FREE necessary; materials are provided. FREE W/ Admiss. (414) 224 - 3200 W/ Admiss. (414) 224 - 3200 www.mam.org www.mam.org

27 Design Milwaukee Art

with Santa, Milwaukee 19 Lunch 20 Zoo, It’s the most wonderful

time of year when Santa shares a meal with kids! Enjoy lunch, musical fun and a special holiday gift.

(414) 256-5412 www.milwaukeezoo.org

Open Studio: The Art of

Gardens, 10:30 am - 11:30am, Ages 3 - 5. We'll find out what makes an evergreen - ever green, discover who lives in these amazing trees and make a special pine cone craft. Fees Apply.

Req. Req. (414) 525-5659 www.boernerbotanicalgardens.org

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14

Money Minders, Betty Brinn Children’s Museum, 10:30 AM to 11 AM (Ages 4+). Children will enjoy money-related stories and games, practice making financial choices and use play money to “purchase” a light snack.

(414) 390-5437 www.bbcmkids.org Preschool Story Time - Keep Looking Havenwoods State Forest, 9:30am – 10:30am. The more you look - the more you see!

Come to Havenwoods and open your eyes to look at nature in new ways.

This is a free event. (414) 527-0232 www.friendsofhavenwoods.org Music & Me Betty Brinn Children’s Museum, 10:30 11AM Play rhythm instruments, listen to a variety of music, & move to a musical beat. Explore basic musical concepts and find out the benefits of music Interactive program. Age 5 and younger. (414) 390-5437 www.bbcmkids.org Preschool Storytime - Evergreen Magic, Havenwoods State Forest, 9:30am – 10:30am. Explore the magic of real evergreens and their importance to nature. We'll even decorate a tree just for the animals.

FREE EVENT. (414) 527-0232 www.friendsofhavenwoods.org

18th Bake Cookies Day 24th National Chocolate Day 25th Christmas Day 31st New Year's Eve

Gardeners - Celebrate 6 Growing Winter Trees! Boerner Botanical 7

with Santa, Milwaukee 13 12 Lunch Zoo, It’s the most wonderful

wonderful time of year when Santa shares a meal with kids! Enjoy lunch, musical fun and a special holiday gift. (414) 256-5412 www.milwaukeezoo.org

Lunch with Santa, 5 Milwaukee Zoo, It’s the most

1st Hanukkah Begins 6th St. Nicholas Day 7th National Cotton Candy Day 15th Bill of Rights Day

2

Naomi’s Music Together, Betty

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10:30 to 11AM Play instruments, chant rhythms and move to music during this 45-minute class with Naomi Bodine. Space is limited. Please sign up at the Information Desk on the day of the program. Age 5 and younger.

(414) 390-5437 www.bbcmkids.org

22 Brinn Children’s Museum,

15

the Performing Arts, 7AM to 8AM. FREE. Features Mozart’s Sleigh Ride, Frosty the Snowman, & a sing-along of carols. May bring a nonperishable food donation for Hunger Task Force. (414) 963-9067 www.festivalcitysymphony.org

thursday 3

friday

10 AM–4 PM. Each month features a different them, and the art projects change weekly! No experience necessary; materials are provided.

FREE W/ Admiss. (414) 224 - 3200 www.mam.org

Studio: The Art of Design 30 Open Milwaukee Art Museum,

23

16

4

saturday

25

18

11

In 16th-century Germany, fir trees were decorated, both indoors and out, with apples, roses, gilded candies and colored paper.

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Open Art Studio, Betty Brinn Children’s Museum, 2PM to 3PM. Experiment with the process and fun of creating art! Try different art techniques including watercolors, pastels, clay, beads & more.

(414) 390-5437 www.bbcmkids.org

Family Hike - Winter Birds, Childrens Family Films, Havenwoods State Forest, Waukesha Public Library, 10:30am – 11:30am. Dress warmly 3pm – 5pm Drop in for an to spend part of the morning looking afternoon showing of your favorite for birds. We'll also make some family movie. (262) 524-3680 simple feeders you can hang in your www.waukesha.lib.wi.us backyard. (414) 527-0232 www.friendsofhavenwoods.org A Winter Wonderland Discovery Saturday - Create a Wee Wonders, Retzer Nature Celebration, Carthage College Center, 9:30-10:15am Creature Havenwoods State (Ages 2-4) “Gobble, Gobble, Honk” Hedberg Library Niemann Theatre, Forest, Drop in anytime between Time for the geese and duck to move Kenosha, 6PM to 7:30 PM. Come 9am & noon to participate. Recycled learn what cultures all over the world materials make wonderful materials along, we will have fun turning ourselves into a feathered gobbler and celebrate during this cold, dark time of for you to create a creature! This is a learn how to walk and talk like them. year to keep things bright and warm! free event. (414) 527-0232 (262)551-5906 FEE: $3. (262) 548-7801 www.friendsofhavenwoods.org www.carthage.edu/familyfun/ www.friendsofnature.com One Wild Saturday Morning Story Time at the Wisconsin Winter Birds Havenwoods Humane Society, Wisconsin State Forest, 9am-12pm. Winter is a Humane Society, Milwaukee. 10:30 wonderful time to look for and feed to 11am (Ages 2-4) Animal-related the birds. Drop in and make some bird books w/ a humane theme will be feeders, learn how birds stay warm in read, followed by activities & an winter, do a little bird identification, & opportunity to meet an animal.limit 3 much more. FREE (414) 527-0232 children per adult. (414) 264-6257 www.friendsofhavenwoods.org www.wihumane.org

Holiday Pajama Jamboree, Bradley 9 8 Pavilion of the Marcus Center for

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9:47 AM

26 Design Milwaukee Art

tuesday

Write a Friend Month

monday

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December is...

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Dress Up Your Pet Day 20th Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday 21st Winnie the Pooh Day 23rd National Popcorn Day 25th

Penguin Awareness Day National Hugging Day National Pie Day Opposite Day

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Each month features a different them, and the art projects change weekly!

No experience necessary. FREE W/ Admiss. (414) 224 - 3200, www.mam.org

9:30am – 10:30am. Some animals blend in while others stand out. Let’s explore the wonderful colors of wild animals. This is a free event.

(414) 527-0232 www.friendsofhavenwoods.org

Story Time, 25 Preschool Havenwoods State Forest,

Open Studio: Snowscapes,

23 (Jan 23 & 30) 10 AM–4 PM, 24

10:30 to 1am (Ages 2-4) Animal related books w/ a humane theme will be read, followed by activities & a chance to meet an animal. limit 3 children per adult.

Bring donation from Wish List (414) 264-6257 ww.wihumane.org

Time at the Wisconsin 20 Story Humane Society, Milwaukee

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European-style circus, costumed jugglers, acrobats & aerialists perform acts of balance, grace, strength and teamwork set to special effects, choreography & music. ($10 - $40) (414) 766-5049 www.southmilwaukeepac.org Open Studio: Snowscapes, 10 AM–4 PM, Each month features a different them, and the art projects change weekly! No experience necessary. FREE W/ Admiss.

(414) 224 - 3200, www.mam.org

9:30am – 10:30am. Some animals blend in while others stand out. Let’s explore the wonderful colors of wild animals. This is a free event.

(414) 527-0232 www.friendsofhavenwoods.org

13

Preschool Story Time, 11 Havenwoods State Forest,

Cirque Le Masque, South Milw.

9 Performing 10 Arts Center, 6-8pm,

12

Milwaukee Art Museum is FREE for everyone on the first Thursday of each month, thanks to Target.

(414) 224 - 3200 www.mam.org

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has just escaped the orphanage that has been her home since her mother died when a boy appears out of nowhere on a curious looking bicycle...

Call for Tickets (414) 267-2932, w w w. f i r s t s t a g e . o r g Paper Bag Pinantas, Carthage College Hedberg Library Niemann Theatre, Kenosha, 1pm to 2pm Learn how to make pinatas out of paper bags. We'll make frogs or penguins to take home, where the rest is up to you (to fill or not to fill)?

FREE. (262) 551-5906 www.carthage.edu/familyfun Animal Faire, Carthage College Hedberg Library Niemann Theatre, Kenosha, 6pm to 7:30pm David HB Drake preforms a menagerie of songs for everyone. On guitar, concertina, banjo, dulcimer and Native American flute FREE. (262) 551-5906 www.carthage.edu/familyfun

29

Amateur ice sculpting competition on the sidewalks of Historic Downtown Waukesha. See up to 40 large blocks ice sculpted into works of art.

(262)549-6154 www.downtownwaukesha.com Story Time in the Galleries, 10:30am, Come hear a story that relates to a work of art in the galleries, & then make a drawing inspired by what you have seen and heard. Different story each week!

(414) 224 - 3200, www.mam.org

JanBoree Ice 22Waukesha Sculpting Contest, 10am-2pm,

that relates to a work of art in the galleries & then make a drawing inspired by what you have seen and heard. Different story each week!

(414) 224 - 3200, www.mam.org

Free Day at the 8 Family Milwaukee County Zoo!

Magic Bicycle, First Stage Story Time in the Galleries, 14 The 15 10:30am, Children Theater, 7pm, Lilah Come hear a story

Free First Thursday Milwaukee 6 Art Museum, Admission to the 7

1

9:47 AM

(414) 224 - 3200, www.mam.org

5

27th Chocolate Cake Day 28th National Kazoo Day 31st Backward Day

saturday

11/8/10

Open Studio: Snowscapes, 10 2 AM–4 3 Construction 4 PM, Each month features a different them, and the art projects began on the Brooklyn change weekly! No experience necessary. FREE W/ Admiss.

Bridge (1870)

14th 17th 18th 19th

sunday

monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday January is... National Blood Donor Month, National Oatmeal Month & National Soup Month

January

calendar

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monday

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U:Bug:Me!, An epic tale of miniature proportions. Join Pico the Fly and his best friend Esteban, as they get ready for the Queen Bee’s annual Soil Contest. A bitter horsefly Packo steals their formul &kidnaps Pico!

Call for Tickets & Times. (414) 2672932, www.firststage.org Open Studio: For the Love of Art, 10 AM–4 PM, Each month features a different them, and the art projects change weekly!

No experience necessary.

FREE W/ Admiss.

(414) 224 - 3200, www.mam.org

13

Geneva - Riviera Park, All day - viewing of finished sculptures, A one-of-a-kind event! Music, magic, food and refreshments and the magnificent snow scculptures! (800) 345-1020 www.lakegenevawi.com Open Studio: For the Love of Art,10 AM–4 PM, Each month features a different them, and the art projects change weekly! No experience necessary. FREE W/ Admiss.

(414) 224 - 3200, www.mam.org

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21

Happy Valentines day!

14

2nd 3rd 4th 8th

Ground Hog Day The Day the Music Died Thank a Mailman Day Boy Scout Day

14th 21st 26th 27th

Winterfest at Harnischfeger

12Park, Ashippun, 10am-5pm.

Free Day at the 5 Family Milwaukee County Zoo!

saturday

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17

25

18

that relates to a work of art in the galleries, & then make a drawing inspired by what you have seen and heard. Different story each week!

(414) 224 - 3200, www.mam.org

Story Time in the Galleries, 26 10:30am, Come hear a story

19

Valentine's Day President's Day Tell a Fairy Tale Day Polar Bear Day

Heart Month and Black History Month

23 The Tootsie Roll rolls into stores in America. (1896)

February is... American

George Washington's Birthday

22

11

4

friday

Includes Horse drawn sleigh rides, dog sled demo, live music, treasure & scavenger hunts, kids crafts & activities, petting zoo, sledding hill, snow shoe rentals, auction & raffles (FREE) (920) 386-3700, www.dodgeparks.com U:Bug:Me!, An epic tale of Story Time at the Wisconsin Story Time in the Galleries, miniature proportions. Join Pico the Humane Society, Milwaukee 10:30am, Come hear a story 10:30 to 1am (Ages 2-4) Animal related Fly and his best friend Esteban, as they that relates to a work of art in the books w/ a humane theme will be read, get ready for the Queen Bee’s annual Soil galleries, & then make a drawing followed by activities & a chance to meet Contest. A bitter horsefly Packo steals their inspired by what you have seen and formul & kidnaps Pico! Call for Tickets & heard. Different story each week! an animal. limit 3 children per adult.

Times. (414) 267-2932, Bring donation from Wish List (414) 224 - 3200, www.mam.org (414) 264-6257 ww.wihumane.org www.firststage.org

9 The Beatles appear 10 on the Ed Sullivan show! (1964)

15 The Post Office 16 uses adhesive postage stamps for the first time. (1842)

Preschool Story Time, Havenwoods State Forest, 9:30am – 10:30am. Some animals blend in while others stand out. Let’s explore the wonderful colors of wild animals. This is a free event.

(414) 527-0232 www.friendsofhavenwoods.org

8

3

thursday

Free First Thursday Milwaukee Art Museum, Admission to the Milwaukee Art Museum is FREE for everyone on the first Thursday of each month, thanks to Target.

(414) 224 - 3200 www.mam.org

9:48 AM

7

2

wednesday

11/8/10

& National Snow 6 Winterfest Sculpting Championships, Lake

tuesday

Family Nature Club at YMCA Camp Minikani, Hubertus, 6:007:00pm (All Ages) We are outdoors once a month investigating a new aspect of nature together. From birds, to pond critters, to maple sugar.

(262) 251-9080, www.minikani.org

1 In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, United Kingdom, France, Australia, Denmark and Italy.

sunday

February calendar

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There is no guarantee that an account will grow enough to cover higher education expenses.

Carefully consider the investment objectives, risks, charges, and expenses of EdVest before investing. For a current program description, containing this and other information, visit www.EdVest.com/edu. Read it carefully before investing.

EdVest is a state-sponsored 529 college savings plan administered by the Wisconsin Office of the State Treasurer. Wells Fargo Funds Management, LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Wells Fargo & Company, provides investment management and administrative services to the EdVest plan. Shares in the program are distributed by Wells Fargo Funds Distributor, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC, an affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. 126891 11-10

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fast. convenient. convenie ent. affordable.

help helping h lping b usyy mo oms busy moms protect their t children’s childre en’s health Infants and young children c are vulnerable to o whooping cough and, and quite often, often they are exposed to o o it from those who love them the most – their parents and d siblings. adults contract Unvaccinated adult ts and adolescents can co ontract and without spread this highly contagious c infection with out even realizing it. Aurora QuickCare can help you get g immunized whooping needing against the whoopi ing cough, without needi ing to schedule perfect forr families on the an appointment. It is the per fect solution fo up-to-date go to get up-to-dat te with their vaccines, as well as to get medicall emergencies diagnosed and treated. their minor medica Protect your health and the health of your baby b – get the pertussis (whoo (whooping today. oping cough) vaccine tod day.

Brookfield Inside Brookfield Squ Square uare Road 95 N. Moorland Ro oad | 262-786-9037 Mon. – Fri. | 9 a.m a.m.. to 6:30 p.m.

Sat. & Sun. | 10 a.m a.m. m. to 3:30 p.m.

Greendale Inside Southridge Mall M near Old Navy 5300 S. S 76th Street St t | 414-423-5538 414 423 5538 Mon. – Fri. | 9 a.m a.m.. to 6:30 p.m.

Sat. & Sun. | 10 a.m a.m. m. to 3:30 p.m.

Kenosha Inside Piggly W Wiggly iggly i y 2801 14th Place | 262-553-9325 2 Mon. – Fri. | 9 a.m a.m.. to 6:30 p.m.

S t &S Sat. Sun. | 9 a.m a.m. m. to t 2 2:30 30 p.m.

Mukwonago Inside W Walmart Supercenter almart a Supe errcenter c 250 E. W Wolf o olf Run | 262-363-4751 2 Mon. – Fri. | 9 a.m a.m.. to 6:30 p.m.

Sat. | 9 a.m. to 4:3 4:30 0 p.m.

Sun. | 10 a.m. to 3 3:30 :30 p.m.

Pewaukee Inside W Walmart almart a Road 411 Pewaukee Roa d | 262-695-4439 Mon. – Fri. | 9 a.m a.m.. to 6:30 p.m.

Sat. | 9 a.m. to 4:3 4:30 0 p.m.

Sun. | 10 a.m. to 3 3:30 :30 p.m.

For F or a ccomplete omplete llist ist o off ser vices, hourss and services, locations, visitt

Aurora.org/QuickCare.

Aurora.org/Q QuickCare.

Flu and p pneumonia shot ts shots also available.

Patients must be 9 years or P o eceive e vaccines. older to rreceive

b100960 (10/10) ©AHC