Wisconsin Contemporary Woman

Amy Chionchio

passionate about children

Vol. 14 No. 8 | August 2015 | Complimentary

FAMILY MANNERS Managing

ANXIETY Living with

CANCER

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LIVING WITH CANCER . . . 8

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COVER STORY

AMY CHIONCHIO

4

INSIDE RETIREMENT BENEFITS

14 August 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 3

AUGUST| Cover Story

Strengthening a community one

child at a time

T

BY JUDITH BERGER

Amy Chionchio and Jada

he national organization of Big Brothers Big Sisters is 110-years-old. Comparatively, the Milwaukee organization is barely into midlife at 40. But Amy Chionchio understands the legacy in her care. As president and CEO of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Metro Milwaukee, her focus is on leading the organization that improves the lives of the most vulnerable among us. She knows a positive role model can change the life of a child -- and an entire community. “This works for two reasons: The phenomenal volunteer mentors in the program who are dedicating their time and effort, and the brave single parents who make the call to give their kids the additional support they need to have a bright future,” Chionchio said.

The task of matching children with mentors is not an easy one.

“There are 60,000 at-risk kids in need; 20,000 with at least one incarcerated parent,” she said. “We currently have 500 kids waiting for mentors.” It’s a number that gets her up in the morning to do a job she loves.

The daughter of an engineer, Chionchio was born in Ohio and grew up in Philadelphia, Milwaukee, and Berlin, Wis. She attended Cardinal Stritch College where she earned a degree in fine arts. After college, she moved to Chicago and found work in an art gallery. “After two years of having fun, I needed to get my career on track,” she recalled. Chionchio returned to Milwaukee and started a sales and marketing company. One of her clients was the Marcus Center for the Performing Arts. Recognizing her talent, the organization hired her on as the Director of Marketing.

4 | WISCONSIN WOMAN August 2015

Chionchio has led marketing efforts at the City of Milwaukee and the Milwaukee Public Museum, as well as the museum’s IMAX Theater. She returned to school to earn a master’s degree in business after being a casualty of the museum’s financial crisis in 2005. “I felt I needed to know more about business models, governance, board engagement and fiscal responsibility.”

In September 2007, Chionchio became the president and CEO of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Metro Milwaukee. “For me, it was a timing thing. I wanted to go somewhere where I could offer enough and add value to an organization,” she said. “Big Brothers Big Sisters has a mission I feel passionate about and an evidence-based service delivery model that delivers real, measurable outcomes.”

With a $2 million operating budget, the organization gets a high return

on its investment, Chionchio said.

“Our volunteers deliver over 100,000 hours of service each year serving approximately 1,300 kids, for an estimated economic impact of $2.2 million.

The return on investment is incredible.”

The quality of volunteers brings a level of experience to the organization that it could not afford to have on its payroll. “Most of our volunteers are professionals and college-educated.

They make a tremendous personal commitment,” said Chionchio. They are the cream of the crop.” Approximately 17 out of 100 who apply to be volunteer mentors make it into the program. “We are incredibly careful when matching mentors with children. We also want to match mentors with children based on each child’s individual needs, compatible personalities, and shared interests -- whether it’s academics, sports, other interests, ge-

ography, demographics, and of course, gender.”

The organization matches mentors with children 6 to 18 years of age -- boys with men and girls with women. As 65 percent of mentors are women compared to only 35 percent men, and the gender of the children in the program is equally split, there are more boys than girls on the waiting list.

The volunteers are asked for at least a two-year mentoring commitment. “But our matches are ongoing and we see mentors and kids together for six years, nine years,” she said. “The mentoring process is very organic and the mentor/child match develops a bond with a focus on healthy relationships and community. Mentors offer friendship, oneon-one attention and positive influence. We have very dedicated and caring adults in our program.”

The organization has conducted research on why volunteers commit to the program and, more importantly, why they don’t. “Our potential mentors want to know what a successful mentoring relationship looks like. They don’t want to fail these kids. We understand that.”

To expose youth to educational and cultural enrichment opportunities, improve relationship support and leverage community resources, Big Brothers Big Sisters holds 80 structured activities each year in collaboration with over 50 community partners. Activities focus on recreation, education and careers, arts and culture, civic engagement and health and fitness. “There are teachable moments in each activity.

It’s important for our volunteer mentors to know they are not alone,” Chionchio said. “There is a case worker involved in each match to support and guide the relationship.” In addition to their traditional community-based mentoring, the organization offers school-based mentoring. Tremendous community and corporate involvement helps make Big Brothers Big Sisters’ programs and activities possible.

The results of all this time and effort are measurable, said Chionchio. “We have been measuring our outcomes for 15 years. We expect children in our program to improve educationally, avoid risky behaviors

and develop social and emotional skills. We utilize a prevention model, and our one-to-one professional mentoring helps to prevent pregnancy and keep our kids out of the juvenile justice system.”

The cost to Big Brothers Big Sisters to support a mentoring match, including orientation, training, and ongoing case management, is $1,500 a year, Chionchio said. “The cost for having a child in the juvenile justice system is about $67,000 a year.”

In 2014, 81 percent of the seniors in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program graduated from high school on time; and of the high school graduates, 76 percent enrolled in post-secondary education; 79 percent of youth in the program maintained or improved educational expectations; 70 percent maintained or improved attitudes towards risky behavior; and 81 percent maintained or improved social and emotional skills leading to higher aspirations, greater confidence and better relationships. “Our outcomes are positive, but the bottom line is: It’s about the kids,” Chionchio said.

From the volunteers, Chionchio hears the same refrain time and again: ‘I get so much out of spending time with my Little Brother or Sister.’ “Volunteers thrive as well,” Chionchio said. “They are improving their leadership skills, cultural sensitivity and their capacity for human kindness. These volunteers are changing lives -- one child at a time.”

In a perfect world, Chionchio would love it if the organization she leads was no longer needed, but with the increasing number of chil-

dren facing adversity, she aspires to serve more. “It’s the children who are waiting for mentors and are so full of potential who keep me moving forward. I see these children all the time and it’s very motivating.

It’s very rewarding to see the kids who make it, grow up to live positive lives and come back to mentor other deserving kids.” l

FOR MORE INFORMATION, VISIT WWW.BBBSMILWAUKEE.ORG

August 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 5

LIVING WELL | Sue Ann Says:

I

in women comes in many forms, but can be managed

t was 2:30 in the morning when Shirley’s eyes popped open. Thoughts tumbled through her mind. “I know I am going to be in trouble with my boss because I didn’t finish the proposal on time. He is going to yell and I won’t get that raise I need. My bill for the car repair is going to cost more than I have. Rosa wants to go on a date on Friday and I know that her boyfriend drives too fast and something will happen to Rosa.” Her heart beat faster. She sat up in bed and tried to stop the thoughts from swimming around her brain, but it didn’t happen. She rubbed her achy forehead and wiped the sweat from her armpits. She tried to remain calm, but nothing was helping. Shirley was living in a constant state of fear and stress on a daily basis. Anxiety was causing her sleepless nights. Women are two times more likely than men to have an anxiety disorder. Let’s look at how anxiety affects women and how it is being treated today with positive results.

The Anxiety and Depression Association of American defines generalized anxiety disorder, or GAD, as one type of anxiety that affects women causing persistent, excessive, and unrealistic worry about everyday things. The worry that a woman feels can affect her daily routine, her family and her job performance. A woman may worry about her relationship with her spouse/significant other, her health or her family members. Constant anxiety over monthly bills and income are common. Fear of losing a loved one or even being in a room with a group of strangers can bring on apprehensive feelings.

WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF ANXIETY?

You are not alone if you suffer from anxiety. Over 40 million women and men suffer from this mental illness making it the most common mental illness in the United States.

Symptoms affect a woman both emotionally and physically. q Emotional Symptoms of Anxiety - Emotional symptoms of anxiety include tension, irritability, loss of concentration, and a feeling of dread. q Physical Symptoms of Anxiety - Anxiety is not just a feeling or the emotion. Physical symptoms may be intense and can include: • Rapid heart beat • Excessive sweating • Upset stomach • Diarrhea 6 | WISCONSIN WOMAN August 2015

• Shaking or tremors • Fatigue • Insomnia

WHAT ARE THE MAIN TYPES OF ANXIETY DISORDERS?

The American Psychiatric Association breaks anxiety disorders into several types.

1. Women with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) show signs of tension and worry about daily happenings in their lives. Women can have complications completing their duties at work and doing home tasks due to these continuing symptoms.

2. Women with a phobia have a deep fear of a situation, object or activity. We can break phobias into 3 main categories: a. Specific phobia - when a woman is fearful of a specific thing, for example, hydrophobia is the fear of water. b. Social phobia - when a woman is excessively fearful of being in a social situation such as public speaking or afraid to go to a movie where she will have to talk to the ticket taker. She avoids social situations where she feels she will be judged. c. Agoraphobia - when a woman is fearful of being in a situation where she might feel embarrassed or she may feel that there is no help for her when she goes into a panic attack. A woman with a severe case of agoraphobia may not leave her home.

3. When a woman has overwhelming anxiety, she may have panic disorder, which can cause panic attacks. These attacks can come unexpectedly. The woman may feel terror so deeply that she believes she is having a heart attack especially when she is experiencing a fast hammering heart and sweating. Dizziness, trembling and even chills may be observed in a woman having a panic attack.

WHAT ARE THE TREATMENTS OPTIONS FOR ANXIETY DISORDERS?

Of course it is advised that if you have any anxiety symptoms that you first discuss them with your health care provider. Your provider will make a detailed assessment and find the best treatment for your type of disorder. Options include: q Psychotherapy is one choice that women can use to deal with the symptoms of anxiety disorders. q Cognitive behavior therapy teaches a woman the

skills and steps to follow to prevent anxiety. The goal is to work toward being able to function in her daily routines. q Medications for anxiety include antidepressants, which would be prescribed by a health care provider. Sedatives can be used, but usually for a short time span because they are habit forming. q Changes to a woman’s diet, exercise routine, and sleep habits can also help relieve anxiety symptoms, so these may be recommended by your physician.

The best part of seeking help from your health care provider is that many anxiety disorders can be treated with positive outcomes. The psychiatrist or therapist may use a combination of therapy and medications to help a woman with her disorder.

SEEK AND FIND THE HELP YOU NEED

Women experiencing symptoms of anxiety can find help by contacting a health provider.

Mental health impacts physical health, and overall wellness in so many ways. You do not need to handle this alone!

Help is available. If you want more information on finding support or education materials, contact http://www.namiwisconsin.org/, the National Alliance on Mental Illness Wisconsin’s chapter. I encourage you to take that first step!

Because it all begins with a healthy woman…

Sue Ann Thompson is founder and president of the Wisconsin Women’s Health Foundation (WWHF), a statewide non-profit organization whose mission is to help Wisconsin women and their families reach their healthiest potential. WWHF provides programs and conducts forums that focus on education, prevention, and early detection; connects individuals to health resources; produces and distributes the most up-to-date health education and resource materials; and, awards grants and scholarships to women health researchers and related community non-profits. To learn more, visit wwhf.org or call 1-800-448-5148.

Join us for the 2015 WOMEN IN SCIENCE LECTURE SERIES! Join us in supporting female physicians and scientists at the Medical College of Wisconsin and learn about discoveries that are saving lives and improving healthcare for patients and families.

Come to network and be inspired!

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eyephysicianassociates.com August 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 7

Living with

C

ancer is common. Half of all men and a third of women will get a diagnosis of cancer in their lifetime. Many people with cancer do survive. Millions of Americans alive today have a history of cancer.

For most people with cancer, living with the disease is the biggest challenge they have ever faced. It can change your routines, roles and relationships. It can cause money and work problems. The treatment can change the way you feel and look.

Learning more about ways you can help yourself may ease some of your concerns. Support from others is important.

All cancer survivors should have follow-up care. Knowing what to expect after

cancer treatment can help you and your family make plans, lifestyle changes, and important decisions.

Dealing with the different side effects and life changes of cancer treatment can be hard on you emotionally as well as physically. Just as cancer affects your physical health, it can bring up a wide range of feelings you’re not used to dealing with. It can also make many feelings seem more intense. They may change daily, hourly, or even minute to minute. This is true whether you’re currently in treatment, done with treatment, or a friend or family

Local Cancer Survivor Dawn Dauphin, 43, knew something was wrong 3 years ago. She had not been feeling well and felt pressure when sleeping on her side. She was getting short of breath and had a heaviness in her chest. When the pressure became worse she made an appointment with her doctor, never thinking she would be soon diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer with an ALK mutant gene. Never a smoker, she was incredulous that she had lung cancer. The pressure on her side was fluid filling her lungs from the cancer. Fortunately, Dawn was a good candidate for a new type of chemo pill, and then spent 6 long months having the fluid drained from her lungs.

For the past 3 years, Dawn has taken the chemo pill daily, has pet scans every three months and, to date, has kept the cancer at bay.

Dawn lives in Palmyra with her husband, Tom, and was back working full time at Walgreens within months of being diagnosed. She explains that cancer has changed her life as she appreciates her family, friends, as well as the little things more than ever before. “Don’t take anything for granted. Live each day the best you can. Stay active so you are not sitting around and worrying about what could happen and when.” As far as advice to newly diagnosed cancer patients, she adds, “everyone’s cancer is different. Listen to your own doctor. People will tell you all sorts of things they think might help. But just listen to your doctor - it works.”

8 | WISCONSIN WOMAN August 2015

member. These feelings are all normal.

• Some feelings you may experience: • Overwhelmed • Denial • Anger • Fear and Worry • Hope • Stress and Anxiety • Sadness and Depression • Guilt • Loneliness • Gratitude • Other Ways to Cope Often the values you grew up with affect how you think about and deal with cancer. For example some people: • Feel they have to be strong and protect their friends and families • Seek support and turn to loved ones or other cancer survivors • Ask for help from counselors or other professionals • Turn to their faith to help them cope Whatever you decide, it’s important to do what’s right for you and not to compare yourself with others. Your friends and family members may share some of the same feelings. If you feel comfortable, share this information

What If

you could have a whole team of cancer specialists focused on you?

Our internationally known cancer experts work together to offer you more treatment options.

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Find a cancer specialist who’s right for you by visiting froedtert.com/cancer or calling 1-866-680-0505.

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with them.

• Adjusting to Being a Caregiver • Caring For Yourself • Long Distance Caregiving • After Treatment • For Teens • A New Normal • Follow-Up Medical Care • Physical Changes • Family Issues Dealing with cancer is a life-changing event for most people. For many, it can be a time to minimize regrets and make new priorities. Try to live each day as normally as you can. Enjoy the simple things you like to do and take pleasure in big events.

You are not your cancer. Even though you have the disease, you get to decide how you want to live the rest of your life. You can choose to live with hope.

GOING BACK TO WORK

People with cancer often want to get back to work. Their jobs not only give them an income but also a sense of routine. Work helps people feel good about themselves.

Before you go back to work, talk with your doctor as well as your boss.

You will all want to make sure you’re well enough to do your job. You may need to work fewer hours or do your job in a different way. Some people feel well enough to work while they’re having chemo or radiation treatment.

Others need to take time off until their treatments are over.

TALKING WITH YOUR BOSS AND CO-WORKERS I was nervous about going back to work. I knew my supervisor and coworkers would be supportive, but I was afraid they would think I couldn’t do my job like I used to.

- Lynn

The response of coworkers about your cancer treatment may differ.

Some people may be a huge source of support, while others may be a source of anger or frustration. Some people mean well, but they don’t know the right thing to say. Maybe they just don’t know how to offer support. Others don’t want to deal with your cancer at all. They may think that you aren’t able to work as hard as before.

If coworkers seem unsupportive, it could be because they’re anxious for you or for themselves. Your cancer experience may threaten them because it 10 | WISCONSIN WOMAN August 2015

reminds them that cancer can happen to anyone. Try to understand their fears and be patient as you try to regain a good relationship. But some people with cancer say that they get tired of trying to act cheerful around others.

Many say that friendships change as they let go of their casual ones and give more time to the meaningful ones.

RELATING TO OTHERS AT WORK

How do you relate to other people in your life when you go back to work?

Does it feel good to return or do you worry how others will react? Here are some tips for returning to work: n Accept help. When people offer to help, say yes, and have in mind some things that they could do to make your life easier. In this way, you will get the support you need, and they will feel helpful. n Talk to others. If you find that a coworker’s feelings about cancer are hurting you, try to resolve the problem with that person face-to-face. If it’s still affecting your work after that, your manager, employee assistance counselor, or personnel office may be able to help.

n Address problems that come up from the start. Supervisors or co-

workers may be able to help those around you understand how you want to be treated.

n Try to keep up contacts during your recovery. Coworkers will worry

about you. But if they are kept up-to-date about your progress, they will be less anxious and scared. Talk to them on the phone, send email, or appoint a trusted friend or family member to do this for you. Your return to work or other activities will be easier for you and others if you stay in touch.

n Plan what you’ll say about your cancer. There is no right way to deal

with others about your illness, but you do need to think about what you’ll say when you’re back on the job. Some people don’t want to focus on their cancer or be linked in people’s minds with the disease. Others are very open about it, speaking frankly with their boss or other workers to air concerns, correct wrong ideas, and decide how to work together. The best approach is the one that feels right to you.

YOUR LEGAL RIGHTS AT WORK

Some people with cancer face roadblocks when they try to go back to work or get a new job. Even people who had cancer many years ago may still have trouble. Employers may not treat them fairly because of false beliefs about cancer. For example, an employer may think cancer can be spread from person to person or that people with cancer take too many sick days.

Some employers also think that people with cancer are poor insurance risks.

It is against the law to discriminate against (treat unfairly) workers who have disabilities such as cancer.

There are national laws that protect your rights as a worker. And if you’re looking for a new job, you have no legal obligation to talk about your cancer history unless your past health has a direct impact on the job you seek.

HANDLING PROBLEMS AT WORK n Decide how to handle the problem.

• What are your rights as an employee?

• Are you willing to take action to correct a problem?

• Do you still want to work there?

Or would you rather look for a new job?

n If necessary, ask your employer to adjust to your needs.

• Start by talking informally to your supervisor, personnel office, employee assistance counselor, shop steward, or union representative.

• Ask for a change that would make it easier for you to keep your job (for example, flextime, working at home, special equipment at work).

• Document each request and its outcome for your records.

n Get help working with your employer if you need it.

• Ask your doctor or nurse to find times for follow-up visits that don’t conflict with your other responsibilities.

• Get your doctor to write a letter to your employer or personnel officer explaining how, if at all, your cancer may affect your work or your schedule.

Talk with your social worker about laws in your state. Your social worker can give you the name of the state agency that protects your rights as an employee. You may also want to ask about benefits you can get as a person with cancer.

Jennifer Ott, Milwaukee

Celebrating the glow of a new life.

There may be times in your life when you think of your own mortality. It just makes sense that one of those times might be when you have a baby.

But try to imagine having a baby, and then getting diagnosed with cancer.

That’s what happened to Jennifer Ott. In June of 2011, Jennifer was just settling in to life with her new baby boy. While breastfeeding, she noticed a lump.

Her primary care physician ordered a mammogram and ultrasound, which indicated Stage 2 breast cancer.

“At that time I was thinking, I have this baby at home and I was terrified I was never going to be able to watch my son grow up, and I was going to leave my husband with this infant and he’d have to start life all over again.”

reconstructive surgery, she feels the worst is behind her. “It was such an amazing process. I had no business getting cancer, I wasn’t the likely cancer patient, but because of the way the team treated me – they saved my life.”

Our world-class cancer team will integrate the best staff with the most advanced technologies and innovative treatment methods to fight your cancer, while nurturing you.

Body, mind and spirit. It’s an approach that’s allowing more and more people to keep their glow.

Just four days before her son’s first birthday, she started some tough months of treatment. But today, after columbia-stmarys.org/cancer_care Glow Jennifer Ott M Mag.indd 1

August 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN 11 6/25/14 4:22:21 |PM

Arthroscopic Knee Surgery Does Little For Osteoarthritis BY: DR. DAVID LIPSCHITZ

Our board-certified family nurse practitioners will work with you to develop a personalized plan to prevent disease, improve your health and help you stay well. We’ll even send your visit summary directly to your doctor.

Call 855-WALGREENS (1-855-925-4733) to schedule an appointment at a clinic near you.

Located at select Walgreens: Brookfield 2205 N. Calhoun Rd. Mequon 11270 N. Port Washington Rd. Milwaukee 1400 E. Brady St. Milwaukee 6030 W. Oklahoma Ave. South Milwaukee 2985 S. Chicago Ave. Waukesha 221 E. Sunset Dr. Wauwatosa 10800 W. Capitol Dr.

•Patients must be a current Medicare beneficiary and not have had this service in the past 12 months in order to be eligible for the $0 out-of-pocket cost. Call 1-855-925-4733 to verify your eligibility. If your Medicare coverage is through a private health plan (Medicare Advantage), contact your health plan to confirm that this service is covered at no cost in a retail clinic setting. Patient care services provided by Take Care Health ServicesSM, an independently owned professional corporation whose licensed healthcare professionals are not employed by or agents of Walgreen Co. or its subsidiaries, including Take Care Health Systems, LLC 13PC0037

12 | WISCONSIN WOMAN August 2015

Almost half of all U.S. adults and nearly two-thirds of obese adults will develop painful osteoarthritis of the knee by age 85. Osteoarthritis of the knee is more frequent after the age of 50, but can occur at any age. On occasion, it is precipitated by an injury, but more commonly it occurs as a result of a lifetime of wear and tear.

For most adults, the presenting symptom is pain, which is made worse by movement. As the disease progresses, the knee can swell and become deformed. This condition can be very painful and difficult to manage, prompting many patients to look to arthroscopic surgery as a solution. However, new research indicates that the minimally invasive procedure may not be as beneficial as once thought.

It now seems clear that for patients with osteoarthritis of the knee, pain management should involve medication, physical therapy and exercise. Initial treatment involves the use of analgesics, particularly acetaminophen and nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs. Medications must be combined with physical therapy and later with exercise (walking and strength training). For older adults with knee osteoarthritis, engaging in moderate physical activity at least three times per week can reduce the risk of arthritis-related disability by 47 percent.

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FINANCE | with Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz

YES, There Are Retirement

Benefits for a Nonworking Spouse Dear Carrie: My husband and I are both 62 and trying to prepare for retirement. He was a stay-at-home dad (no paycheck and no retirement account), and I plan to continue working for at least another five years.

Can I now open an individual retirement account for him? Also, can he receive Social Security benefits on my work record? Do I have to retire for him to be eligible?

-- A Reader Dear Reader: These are all great questions, so thanks for asking. Let’s go in order:

YOU CAN OPEN A SPOUSAL IRA

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One of the best deals around for a nonworking spouse (with one caveat, see below) is a spousal IRA. If you’re married and filing your tax return jointly, you can contribute funds into two separate IRAs -- one for him and one for you -- as long as you have earned income equal to both contributions.

Because you’re both older than 50, you can currently contribute up to $6,500 ($5,500 plus $1,000 catch-up for those over 50) into each account. In this case, you would have to have earned income of $13,000 or more to cover both contributions.

Tax-deductibility is another issue. If you participate in a 401(k) or pension plan at work, and earn more than $183,000, your contributions to a spousal IRA are not fully deductible.

If you earn more than $193,000, they are not deductible at all. (And tax deductibility for contributions to your own IRA will be phased out between $98,000 and $118,000 of income).

And as mentioned above, I have one other caveat, especially appropriate for someone approaching retirement. Withdrawals from an IRA are taxed at your ordinary income-tax rate. On the other hand, withdrawals from taxable accounts are taxed as capital gains (with a preferential rate for investments held for more than one year). Therefore, depending on your personal tax rate and the length of time you plan to hold your investments, it might make more sense for you to invest in a taxable account rather than an IRA. I recommend working with a tax advisor to crunch the numbers.

In either case, I encourage you to save to the max!

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The short answer to your next question is that yes, a nonworking spouse who has reached age 62 can collect Social Security benefits based on the working spouse’s earnings record once the working spouse has filed for benefits.

This sounds clear enough, but there are a number of rules and exceptions to think about.

WHAT AND WHEN A NONWORKING SPOUSE CAN COLLECT

The Social Security benefit of a nonworking spouse is up to 50 percent of the working spouse’s full retirement age benefit. (FRA is 66 for those born between 1943 and 1954.) So if your FRA benefit is $2,000, your husband would be able to collect up to an additional $1,000. Once you file, your husband can: q Take Social Security right away. However, filing before FRA will permanently reduce his spousal benefit. q Wait until FRA in order to receive his full spousal benefit, which is 50 percent of your FRA benefit.

Just for the record, there is an exception to the age requirement if your spouse is caring for your child who is under age 16. Also note that there is no benefit for your husband to postpone filing beyond age 66. Unlike the worker’s benefit, which continues to increase until age 70, a spouse’s benefits max out at FRA.

WHY TIMING IS IMPORTANT

Both you and your husband should give a lot of thought to when to begin collecting Social Security. If you apply now, at age 62, your benefit will be permanently reduced by 25 percent. That could make a big dent in your monthly income and would also reduce any future survivor benefits should your husband outlive you (see below).

Therefore, even though it might be tempting to begin taking benefits as soon as possible -- after all, you’ll then collect checks for a longer period of time -- it’s a good idea to look at your “break-even age� before making a final decision.

This is how long you need to live to give you greater lifetime benefits. Chances are that the longer you can each wait (up to FRA for him, 70 for you) the better.

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One choice would be for you to file for Social Security benefits at your FRA so that your husband could file for spousal benefits. You can do this even if you continue to work, because at FRA, there’s no limit on the amount you can earn and still collect full benefits.

However, if you decide to delay taking your own benefit so that it can continue to grow, there’s another strategy to consider. The IRS lets you file and then immediately suspend your benefits. This would allow your husband to begin collecting a spousal benefit based on your earnings while you continue to work. At the same time, your own future benefit would continue to grow. Another plus to this strategy is that the larger your eventual benefit, the larger your husband’s survivor benefit. That’s because, should you die first, your husband would collect 100 percent of your benefit.

As you can see, there are several things you and your husband can do to increase your retirement security, and I highly recommend that you look into them all. A little planning can help maximize the total benefit for your household.

And why not? You’ve earned it! l Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz, Certified Financial Planner, is president of the Charles Schwab Foundation and author of “The Charles Schwab Guide to Finances After Fifty,� available in bookstores nationwide.

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CAREERS | Building Stronger Women

You as a

O

nce upon a time, long before technology began to dazzle us with its speed, reach and endless possibility, we used to marvel at a simple toy called a kaleidoscope.

It was constructed of cardboard or plastic, a cylinder with bits of colored glass or plastic inside.

Looking through the eyepiece, you would see a dazzling display of color and shapes.

By turning a small ring on the bottom, you caused the glass bits to rearrange themselves into an endless assortment of new patterns.

I remember using a kaleidoscope in a grade school classroom as a means of learning to describe what we saw.

This was a painstaking process at first.

While it was easy enough to talk about the colors, describing the patterns before our eyes was difficult. Were those diamonds? Circles? Rectangles? How to describe the different pictures formed when the glass bits rearranged themselves at the turn of the dial?

Decades later, it occurred to me that people are a lot like kaleidoscopes.

Imagine your body as the cylinder and what happens inside your mind and heart as the colored bits. Your container doesn’t change much, but the patterns inside…oh, my.

What a churning, changing, colorful display!

What’s inside of you gets rearranged repeatedly. Thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, memories, experiences, things you see, touch, and taste all create new pictures inside of you and influence how you react to life. This inner activity can be confusing because it is hidden, but it is available to all who wish to see and appreciate it.

While we are taught to pay close attention to the container—to strengthen and preserve it—the real

Kaleidoscope story takes shape inside. Ask anyone to tell you about their life. You won’t likely hear about bruises, cuts, broken bones, or other circumstances of their container. Instead you will hear about victories and defeats, wishes and memories, loves cherished and loves lost— the patterns of the colored glass.

Your life has many colored bits.

Some are bold and bright; others are muted and dull. Some are passed along from your family; others emerge as you grow and experience life. How these bits come together determines your outlook and general expectations.

You will hear about bright colors and dull ones, times of great joy and deep suffering. None of these times is permanent! Each one gives way to another slight twist of circumstance or fate—a tiny twist of the ring that causes a tumbling of colored bits into a new picture to be discovered and understood.

Your life has many colored bits.

Some are bold and bright; others are muted and dull. Some are passed along from your family; others emerge as you grow and experience life. How these bits come together determines your outlook and general expectations.

Imagine what fun it would be to explore yourself as a kaleidoscope!

What activities and experiences create your brightest patterns? What captures your attention? In what activities do you become so absorbed that time stands still? These are the bits of life you want to cherish and repeat.

But the circumstances that create the dark or dull pictures are worth noticing, too. Remembering that every pattern is changeable with the slightest twist of the dial, take note of the bits that form these darker images.

They, too, are part of you. Just as cloudy days help us appreciate the sun, difficult days make good ones feel that much better.

We like to rush through times of challenge trying not to notice what causes them or how painful they feel, but this diminishes their value. Sometimes our most profound life lessons come in the aftermath of deep grief.

Those dark bits of glass are important.

Studying you as a kaleidoscope may feel like a silly, fanciful exercise, but if you’ll take time to play with the idea, I bet you’ll get hooked. Imagine teaching a child to learn about his or her bits of colored glass and the many patterns that make up their days. Conversations about discovery and uniqueness are engaging and uplifting.

Today, instead of giving your attention and energy to the distractions that surround you, take a moment to check in with yourself. If you don’t like the internal pattern you woke up with, give a little flick of the dial and see what emerges. Keep twisting until you like what you see. Then joyfully share it with the rest of us. l •••• Susan Marshall is an author and speaker whose book, “How to Grow a Backbone: 10 Strategies for Gaining Power and Influence at Work,” has been translated into multiple languages and is especially popular in Asia. Her work is dedicated to building strong leaders who create successful organizations, transform school systems, and develop leaders at all levels.

You can reach her at (262) 567-5983 or susan@backboneinstitute.com August 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 17

AT HOME | Recipes

FOR EVERY SUMMER OCCASION

A

fter splashing in the pool, rooting on your favorite team or playing in the backyard, nothing beats the end of a long summer day like a cool, classic treat. So grab the kids, some bowls, spoons and the trusty old ice cream scoop — and dig in.

August is National Ice Cream Month, and afici­onados agree that when it comes to the best tasting ice cream, “fresh” is the must-have ingredient.

Dial up your summer fun with the freshness of ice cream and fruit with these recipes, and find more recipes at www.BlueBunny.com. l

18 | WISCONSIN WOMAN August 2015

CHERRY VANILLA CRUMBLE SQUARES Prep time: 25 minutes Freeze time: at least 8 hours Makes: 9 servings

1 cup old fashioned oats (rolled oats)

1/2 cup whole wheat flour

1/3 cup firmly packed light brown sugar

1/4 cup butter, melted

1 package (12 ounces) frozen dark sweet cherries, thawed and well drained

1/3 cup all fruit black cherry fruit spread

4 cups Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream, softened

In medium bowl, combine oats, flour, brown sugar and butter; mix thoroughly. Remove 1/2 cup and set aside; pour remaining crumb mixture in an 8-by-8-inch baking dish.

Coarsely chop cherries and transfer to medium bowl. Add fruit spread, stirring to blend. Pour over crust, gently spreading evenly in bottom. Spoon ice cream over top, gently spreading evenly. Sprinkle with reserved crumb mixture.

Cover and freeze at least 8 hours. Cut into squares to serve.

HONEY-PEACH FROZEN YOGURT SUNDAES

Prep time: 15 minutes Makes: 4 servings

1/3 cup walnut halves

2 medium fresh peaches, sliced

1/4 cup honey

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon Pinch ground cloves

4 scoops (1/2 cup each) Vanilla Bean Frozen Yogurt

2/3 cup fresh raspberries

In medium skillet over medium heat, cook walnuts until toasted, about 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Cool. When cool enough to handle, chop very coarsely. Set aside.

In same skillet over medium heat, combine peaches, honey, cinnamon and cloves; cook and stir until peaches soften. Cool several minutes before spooning equally over frozen yogurt.

Top each serving with about 4 raspberries. Serve immediately.

COOL PARTY CUBES

Prep time: 30 minutes Freeze time: at least 1 hour Makes: 4 servings

2 squares (2 ounces) white chocolate baking squares

1/2 cup prepared vanilla frosting

4 Premium Birthday Party Ice Cream Sandwiches or Similar

2 medium firm kiwi, peeled 1 3/4 cups halved small strawberries (or large strawberries cut into chunks)

3/4 cup fresh blueberries

3 tablespoons peach preserves (pineapple, mango or apricot could be substituted)

Grate or shred white chocolate with box grater onto large plate. Thinly spread frosting on one side of one ice cream sandwich, keeping remain足ing sandwiches in freezer. Press frosting side into white chocolate, spread frosting on unfrosted side, turn and press into white chocolate.

Return to freezer; repeat with remaining ice cream sandwiches. Freeze at least 1 hour, until solid. (May be kept covered in freezer overnight.)

Thirty minutes before serving, cut kiwi into thick slices, then cut slices into quarters. Place in medium bowl along with other fruit. Heat preserves in microwave-safe bowl, just until melted (20 seconds in a 1250 watt microwave), breaking up large pieces of fruit. Pour over fruit and toss to coat; chill 15 to 20 minutes.

Remove prepared ice cream sandwiches from freezer, cut each into bite-size squares; arrange with glazed fruit in 4 dessert bowls or plates.

FRUIT SALSA SUNDAES

Prep time: 10 minutes Makes: 4 servings

1 cup fresh pineapple chunks

1 tablespoon light brown sugar

6 medium fresh strawberries, diced

1 large kiwi, peeled and diced

1/8 teaspoon ground cumin

4 small firm bananas, cut in half lengthwise 8 1/3 cups Banana Split Ice Cream Fat-free whipped topping, optional Chocolate sprinkles, optional

4 maraschino cherries, optional

In medium skillet over medium-low heat, cook pineapple and brown sugar just until pineapple is softened, 5 minutes. Add strawberries, kiwi and cumin; cook several minutes until fruit is heated through.

Arrange 2 banana halves in each of 4 dessert bowls; top each with 2 scoops ice cream. Spoon glazed fruits equally over ice cream. Garnish with whipped topping, chocolate sprinkles and a maraschino cherry, if desired. Serve immediately.

August 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 19

Choose to Be HAPPY? Yes, You Can!

D

BY MARILYNN PRESTON

r. Amit Sood -- professor of medicine at the Mayo Clinic College of Medicine -- grew up and went to medical school in Bhopal, India. Throughout his medical training, he writes, he experienced “the scourge of poverty, malnutrition and disease” that created tremendous suffering in his country.

In 1995, Sood came to America. He did a two-year residency in New York, followed by six years in rural Washington, all the while practicing a different kind of medicine than he had in India. In America, his patients were, on the whole, healthier, wealthier, better nourished, with many more resources.

Here’s the shocker. “To my surprise,” he writes, “the suffering was the same. It’s nature, intensity, pervasiveness ... I had naively assumed that everyone [in America] would be happy and having a good time. The extent of stress made no sense to me.”

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And that led Sood to his lifelong quest to understand the scientific basis of human suffering, and to come up with practical things that ordinary humans can to do to live extraordinary lives of peace and calm, with better relationships, and greater happiness.

He describes his methods and philosophy in his playful and profound new book called “The Mayo Clinic Handbook for Happiness.” (Da Capo Press). It features detailed, step-by-step practices to help you decrease negative stress and intentionally choose happiness.

“Happiness is a habit,” says Sood, now chair of the Mayo Mind Body Initiative and director of research at the Mayo Clinic Complementary and Integrative Medicine program. (Just knowing this place exists makes me happy.)

“Some of us are born with it; others have to choose it.

This book will help readers ‘choose’ happiness.”

HIS BIG DISCOVERY: IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. “After years of studying and learning from patients, students, spiritual luminaries, scientists and philosophers,” Sood writes, “I realized that human suffering is often not caused by our conscious thoughts and actions.”

Our minds are hard-wired to attach to the negative, to see the world as a dark and threatening place because that gave us a survival advantage in days gone-by. These days, that evolutionary tendency keeps many of us stressed and anxious.

“The brain and mind work very hard to keep us dissatisfied and stressed,” he writes, and that pretty much bypasses any hope for happiness, unless we intentionally redirect its focus.

“Our suffering is nobody’s fault,” writes Sood. “We can all do something about it.”

Sood prescribes a four-step, 10-week program in the “Handbook for Happiness”: 1) TRAIN YOUR ATTENTION. Neuroscientists have proven that the human mind is instinctively restless and wandering. That’s the default mode, and to counteract it, you want to develop deep and sustained attention -- intentional attention -- so that you can command your thoughts, shift your perspective, detach from the negative and embrace the positive. Joyful attention practices include waking up with gratitude, being in nature, resisting judgment and expressing kindness. “Your attention is like a muscle,” he writes, “Training makes it stronger.”

2) CULTIVATE EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE. Emotional resilience is crucial to happiness, Sood says, because it helps you focus on positive actions and uplifting emotions. He asks his happiness seekers to actively pursue five principles: gratitude, compassion, acceptance, meaning and forgiveness. “When things go wrong,” he advises, “try to focus on what went right within what went wrong.”

3) START A MIND-BODY PRACTICE. Sood encourages people to develop a relaxed mind, using a wide range of activities including reading, exercise, music, art, prayer, meditation, yoga and deep breathing. “A relaxed mind is a humble mind that isn’t struggling with fear, greed or selfishness.” l

LIFESTYLE | In Fashion

Are You Ready for

?

G

et your wardrobe ready.

It is hard to believe the stores are filling up with back school supplies and fall fashions. The summer sport season is coming to an end and State Fair is upon us. Take the time to get whatever last minute summer frills in. Then gear up to get your back to school shopping on.

Working through what clothing you need for both you and maybe the kids can be tricky. There are so many cute and new products out. However, there might be enough things in the closet to look fresh and trendy for the back to school season. Even though spring-cleaning is over, take a moment and go through the drawers and closets to assess what is a must and needs to be purchased when out shopping.

From there, look at what can be used when layering your current looks and those new looks that are on the shopping wish list. Not only are you get-

ting organized in the process, you will save time and money when purchasing your new finds.

Back to school fashion this year is all about mixing the looks up, having fun wearing bold prints and patterns with bright colors. If you are wearing low-key neutrals and not into bold patterns and prints or you wear sleeker looks, adding fun and funky scarfs are a must for an accent. Plaids, faux leathers and athletic wear with colorful sneakers are great for any aged wardrobe. If you are shopping for kids, boys clothing will feature pops of blues, dark greens and reds; girls will feature bursts of pinks, purples and turquoises.

Make sure to remember key tips for an overall pleasant back to school shopping experience. Look at the sales that are revving up, start early to extend the budget and paychecks that are used on back to school shopping.

Use each paycheck in August to buy,

instead of all one check. Look for the best deals by utilizing websites and apps like retailmenot.com that has coupons for additional savings and dealnews.com showcases daily deals.

If a store does not have an item that you are looking for in your size or they ran out of something, bring it to the register and they can find it from another store or online, and the store can ship it to you for free. Also, if you purchase an item one week and the next week it goes on sale, bring your receipt back into the store and they will refund the difference. These simple tips can save you time, money and stress when back to school shopping. l •••• Happy Back to School!

Yours in Fashion, Jessica Little Fashion Industry Professional STAY LOVELY!

August 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 21

LIVING WELL | Generations

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A

ccording to research from the National Early Literacy Panel, nearly every child can become a good reader as long as the parents focus on this skill early in a child’s life. Literacy literally should begin in infancy.

The National Early Literacy Panel, which directed the National Center for Family Literacy (NCFL), analyzed over 3,000 studies on early childhood literacy in order to determine what critical skills lead to future academic success.

Sharon Darling, president and founder of the NCFL, said for the first time ever, they’ve been able to identify early literacy skills that lead to later reading success.

Parents can help their children build these skills and become good readers by simply doing the following activities with their young children every day: SHOWER YOUR BABIES WITH WORDS. Talk to your children all the time about anything. Talk to them about what you are doing as you are changing their diaper or making dinner. Even though a baby is too young to understand what you are saying, talking helps them store those sounds.

It also helps them put words and sounds together and speak.

MORE WORDS EQUAL INCREASED VOCABULARY.

When your children begin to speak, encourage them by adding more words. For example, if your child points at and says, “Truck,” you should answer by saying, “Yes, that is a big, yellow dump truck.”

MAKE LEARNING FUN. Use pictures of things your children see at home every day, such as table, teddy bear, chair, bed, etc. Hand your children a picture and ask them if they know what it is. After they have said what the object is, have your children lead you to it. This will increase their vocabulary and give them practice at using symbols.

READING TIME. Read books aloud to your children.

When your children are old enough, ask them questions about what is happening in the story and pictures. Be sure to point out the title and the illustrations on the cover and throughout the book. Also, let your children turn the pages and run their finger under the words with yours as you read.

After all, learning how books work is an important step towards learning to how to read.

RHYME TIME. Reading stories that rhyme and reciting nursery rhymes encourages children to listen carefully to the different sounds. While reading pause at the end of lines and let your children fill in the rhyming word.

MAKE YOUR CHILDREN’S NAMES SPECIAL. Children are especially interested in the letters of their name, so use this fascination as a chance to learn by playing games with

these letters. Cut the letters out of paper and place them in an envelope. Let your children pull out the letters and put them in order. Also, look for things around you wherever you are that start with the same letters.

THE ABCS. To help your children learn their alphabet, look for books that match their interests. There are alphabet books that focus on sports, animals, machines, state information and many more.

SHOW YOUR CHILDREN THAT YOU CAN READ. When you take your children to the library, check out a book for yourself as well. Set a good example, read and show them that reading is important to you. If your children see you reading they are more likely to read themselves. l

PLEASE JOIN US IN WELCOMING

DR. BRIDGET O’BRIEN TO SHOREVIEW PEDIATRICS

Dr. O’Brien received her undergraduate degree from Northwestern University, Evanston, IL, in 2007 and her medical degree from Loyola University Stritch School of Medicine, Maywood, IL, in 2012. Her pediatric residency, at the Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin, Milwaukee, WI was completed in 2015. Dr. O’Brien enjoys traveling, running, baking, and spending time with family, friends and her precocious cocker spaniel.

“As the oldest of 3 siblings and 33 cousins, I have always felt at ease with infants and young children. So when I decided to pursue medicine, Pediatrics was the obvious choice. As a Pediatrician, I have the unique opportunity to provide important preventative care and counseling, all while watching my patients grow into healthy and informed young adults. I treasure the many lessons these children will teach me along the way, and every day I am reminded of how privileged I am to care for this truly special population.”

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August 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 23

MANNERS: Y

Teach your children how to behave

ou can start early with your children to practice their manners for upcoming get-togethers.

Following are courtesy basics for children, according to Diane Gottsman, a nationally- recognized etiquette expert. These manners should be taught throughout the year, not only on special occasions.

INTRODUCTIONS: When your children meet new friends or relatives teach them to say something similar to: “Hello, my name is . . . .” Teach them to extend their right hand (even if left-handed), and to firmly shake the hand that’s extended to them.

PROPER EYE CONTACT: Instruct your children to maintain eye contact about half the time a person is speaking to the. If you have a child that is uncomfortable with direct eye contact, tell him or her to look at the bridge of the person’s nose.

THE HANDSHAKE: (or what to do with an unexpected hug): Remind your children to give a firm handshake and a friendly hug when appropriate. If you know a certain relative likes hugs, you can “warn” your children ahead of time.

MANNERS continued on PAGE 26

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ENROLL NOW to give your child an academic advantage this school year!

The Milwaukee Art Museum and Kohl’s Cares have partnered to bring you Kohl’s Art Generation! With plenty of opportunities for hands-on art making, the Studio at the Museum is a place where kids and families can play, create, and explore art together—and is now open every day the Museum is open.

Don’t forget, kids 12 and under are always free!

Families can also experience the Museum at home through new and exciting activities at mam.org/artgeneration. Check out Kohl’s Art Generation and see what it’s all about!

August 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 25

“At First Stage Theater Academy, you not only learn about theater, but you make new friends and learn to embrace yourself.”

Photo by Paul Ruffolo

—Mary, age 14

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MANNERS continued from PAGE 24

KNOW HOW TO USE A NAPKIN: Napkins should remain on the children’s laps during the meal. If they need to excuse themselves they should place the napkin in the chair and push the chair in. At the end of dinner, the napkin goes on the left side of the plate.

WHERE THEIR GLASS IS ON THE TABLE: The drinking glass goes on the right of the plate.

WHAT TO DO IF THEY DON’T LIKE A FOOD: Tell your children that if they don’t care for an entree to simply not eat it. Instruct them not to make any negatives comments or “yucky” faces over the food.

USE COURTEOUS WORDS: Talk to your children about regularly using “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me.”

During meals, they should ask to “please pass” the salt, etc., and to say “thank you” when it’s passed to them.

DON’T INTERRUPT: Remind your children about no interruptions during conversations. If someone asks them a question, that is their cue to respond.

Gottsman recommends that young children, especially those under age five, should not be expected to sit through a long meal. Keep it to about 20 minutes, and then adults can linger over dessert while the kids play with their toys.

WHAT TO DO, IF THEY DON’T LIKE A GIFT: Practice an acceptable scenario before a child opens presents in front of family and friends. Even if he or she doesn’t like a gift – or already has that item - a child needs to genuinely smile and say thank you.

SEND THANKYOU NOTES: Mailing a thank you note is a must. If the child is too young to write, have him or her draw a picture of the gift. A parent can write the note for the younger child, and he or she can sign her own name. A thankyou from older children can include why they liked the gift or how they’re using it.

Consistency is required to teach your children “good graces,” says Gottsman. l Kim Seidel is an award-winning writer and editor who lives in Wisconsin.

MEET OUR FAMILY!

THIS SCHOOL YE AR

SPORTS

SPRING | SUMMER ISSUE

SOCIAL SECURITY AND YOU

John White

Adoption through foster cAre

HAPPY NEW YEAR- 2015

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Family

fun

check out our calendar of events

The Disease that Whispers

Classes available for students ages 3 – 18.

Fall, Winter, Spring, and Spring Break sessions available.

Vol. 14 No. 9 | September 2013 | Complimentary

Learn Acting, Musical Theater, Improvisation, and much more.

January 2015 Vol 29 No. 1

POMMER:

Educational Goals

page 3A

Taking Care of Mom and Dad with Kids

STATE CAPITOL COMMENT

By Matt Pommer

By Tom Frazier

PLANTING TOMORROW’S DREAMS TODAY

By Brad Olson

8/20/13 9:28 AM

At the age of 59, a good friend tions. Two major health insurance of mine lost his job that not only companies refused to even give paid pretty well, but also included him a quote on coverage, and one good health insurance. He was 59 company gave him a quote of over years old, without a job, without $2,000 a month. Fortunately, there health insurance, but with a num- was a State of Wisconsin program ber of pre-existing health condi- called the Health Insurance Risk

IT MAKES ME

AGING ISSUES

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PLUS Inside

EDITORIALS

SENIOR

Women

in Business

Sara meaney

DOLESCHAL continued on page 12A

Man Health Care,Answer it’s Personal

By Aunt Emma

plus FALL FAShion & 3/7/13 2:00 PM

APRON STRINGS

When your child has special needs

TRAVEL

By Karen Ellenbecker & Julie Ellenbecker -Lipsky

MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

Emma

involved

EDITORIALS

MONEY SENSE

Healthcare Directory page 1B

By Bruce Nemovitz

Are you Sandwiched?

MF Pages SPRING\SUMMER 2012.indd 1

Wisconsin

CAPITOL Do More STATE toCOMMENT Guiding

By Matt Pommer Parents This Year page 6A

SpotLight

of being BeinG

pacesetter in

Women’s sports

By Jack Pearson She is, unquestionably, one of the most remarkable women in the world of sports, not merely here in Wisconsin, but throughout the entire nation. You might assume that statement to have a hyperbolic ring to it. Not so; it is absolutely true, and her name is Janis Doleschal.

Consider just a few of her amazing array of accomplishments. As a youth she was an outstanding athlete in such diverse sports as softball, basketball and swimming, and then later in golf, despite growing up in an era when none of those sports, or any in fact, were available to young ladies in elementary and high schools and even rarely on the college level. She became a superb scholar and has four degrees.

NEMOVITZ: Volunteer

StAy in ShApe without A gym

The BenefiTs

JANIS DOLESCHAL,

It’s hard to tell here, but there are three little grey and white dogs in front of their owner, Jan Doleschal: Schnitzel, Libby and Snickers.

COMPLIMENTARY

A Sister’s Legacy

Shape Up!

of Greater Milwaukee

FALL / WINTER 2013 | CompLImENTARy

of Greater Milwaukee

Vol. 14 No. 3 | March 2013 | Complimentary

Life Skills Through Stage Skills

Sharing Plan (HIRSP) that was designed for people like my friend who could not qualify for private insurance due to pre-existing conditions. While HIRSP covers 80% of costs, my friend was responsible for

CRABBY

Knowing the Secret to Leadership

FRAZIER continued on page 3A

It’sabout All the

Eyes Women’s Clubs Bring Change

HERMAN WHITE WRITES MONEY SENSE

ARTS

ENTERTAINMENT

By Karen Ellenbecker & Julie Ellenbecker -Lipsky SPORTS

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PLUS PUBLICATIONS CRABBY MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

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the WRIGHT SIDE of

60

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APRON KILLING TIME with Jim McLoone STRINGS

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Emma

By Aunt Emma

Answer Man

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publishers of the winning HERMAN WHITE award WRITES PLANTING TOMORROW’S DREAMS TODAY

By Brad Olson

ARTSWOMAN ENTERTAINMENT 50 PLUS NEWS MAGAZINE, WISCONSIN MAGAZINE AND MILWAUKEE FAMILY MAGAZINE calendar For advertising information call 262.367.5303 ext. 14 60262.367.5303 ext. 12 and for 50 Plus call SPORTS

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BOOKs OF THE MONTH

BY MO SLATTERY

GHOST BOY

By Martin Pistorius This is one of best books I have read this year. It is a true story about love, loss, and hope.

In January 1988, aged twelve, Martin Pistorius fell inexplicably sick. First he lost his voice and stopped eating; then he slept constantly and shunned human contact. Doctors were mystified. Within eighteen months, he was mute and wheelchair-bound. Martin’s parents were told that an unknown degenerative disease had left him with the mind of a baby and he probably had less than two years to live. Martin went on to be cared for at centers for severely disabled children, a shell of the bright, vivacious boy he had once been. What no-one knew is that while Martin’s body remained unresponsive, his mind slowly woke up, yet he could tell no-one; he was a prisoner inside a broken body. Then, in 1998, when Martin was twenty-three years old, an aromatherapy masseuse began treating him and sensed some part of him was alert. Experts were dismissive, but his parents persevered and soon realized their son was as intelligent as he’d always been. With no memory of the time before his illness, Martin was a man-child reborn in a world he didn’t know. He was still in a wheelchair and unable to speak, but he was brilliantly adept at computer technology. Since then, and against all odds, he has fallen in love, married and set up a design business which he runs from his home in Essex. Ghost Boy is an incredible, deeply moving story of recovery and the power of love. Through Martin’s story we can know what it is like to be here and yet not be here - unable to communicate yet feeling and understanding everything. Martin’s emergence from his darkness enables us to celebrate the human spirit and is a wake-up call to cherish our own lives.

THE FIFTH GOSPEL

This fantastic read is reminiscent of The Da Vinci Code A lost gospel, a contentious relic, and a dying pope’s final wish converge to send two brothers—both Vatican priests—on an intellectual quest to untangle Christianity’s greatest historical mystery.

After a decade of painstaking primary research, author Ian Caldwell turn out a masterful new thriller that confirms his place among the most ambitious popular storytellers working today. In 2004, as Pope John Paul II’s reign enters its twilight, a mysterious exhibit is under construction at the Vatican Museums. A week before it is scheduled to open, its curator is murdered at a clandestine meeting on the outskirts of Rome. That same night, a violent break-in rocks the home of the curator’s research partner, Father Alex Andreou, a Greek Catholic priest who lives inside the Vatican with his five-year-old son. When the papal police fail to identify a suspect in either crime, Father Alex, desperate to keep his family safe, undertakes his own investigation. To find the killer, he must reconstruct the dead curator’s secret: what the four Christian gospels— and a little-known, true-to-life fifth gospel known as the Diatessaron—reveal about the Church’s most controversial holy relic. But just as he begins to understand the truth about his friend’s death and its consequences for the future of the world’s two largest Christian Churches, Father Alex finds himself hunted down by someone with a vested stake in the exhibit— someone he must outwit to survive.

August 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 27

LIVING WELL | Travel

Plan a southern mix getaway of

L

ocated in the northwestern corner of the state, Shreveport-Bossier is the third-largest community in Louisiana. Home to a thriving nightlife and entertainment scene, a year-round calendar of festivals and cultural events, a burgeoning culinary scene and opportunities to explore the great outdoors, Shreveport-Bossier is a destination where there’s always something new to experience.

Culturally,Shreveport-Bossier serves as a crossroads where the Cajun and Creole traditions of Louisiana blend with the wide-open spirit of Texas. This unique combination of two great American heritages can be tasted in the food, where Texas-style barbecue often shares a plate with traditional Louisiana favorites like gumbo, po-boys and crawfish etouffee. It can also be heard in the music pouring out of local nightclubs, where jazz and soul share

28 | WISCONSIN WOMAN August 2015

and the stage with blues, country, rock and zydeco. Local festivals, which celebrate everything from crawfish to black history, provide year-round opportunities to become immersed in the fascinating blend of cultures that exists in Shreveport-Bossier.

Shreveport-Bossier’s six riverboat casinos and live horseracing track lend 24-hour excitement to the city’s entertainment offerings. Margaritaville Resort Casino, which opened in June of 2013, is the most recent addition to Shreveport-Bossier’s gaming scene. Located just south of the Louisiana Boardwalk Outlets on the banks of the Red River, Horseshoe Casino and Hotel is another popular gaming destination.

Enjoying the great outdoors can take many forms in Shreveport-Bossier, from a relaxing trip down the Red River aboard the Spirit of the Red River Cruise to zip-lining through a swamp filled with live alligators at Gators and Friends Alligator Park and Exotic Zoo. One of Louisiana’s top bird-watching destinations, the Red River National Wildlife Refuge in Bossier City, features a 6.5-mile network of hiking trails, a lake for fishing and an interpretive center offering interactive educational programs for all ages. Walter B. Jacobs Memorial Nature Park in Shreveport also offers an outstanding

network of trails, including wheelchair-accessible trails. Those who love to hike, bike or jog should make time to enjoy the scenic riverfront biking and jogging paths that wind their way along Clyde Fant Parkway in downtown Shreveport and Arthur Ray Teague Parkway in Bossier City.

Mardi Gras, known as “the biggest free party on Earth,” is often associated with New Orleans. However, Carnival season – with its parades, parties, and costumed balls – is huge in Shreveport-Bossier. During Carnival season, which officially begins on Twelfth Night and ends on Fat Tuesday, local social clubs known as “krewes” present enormous parades featuring hundreds of floats, marching bands and more.

Throughout November and December, the Louisiana Holiday Trail of Lights provides countless ways to enjoy the spirit of the holidays “Louisiana style.” One of Shreveport-Bossier’s best-known holiday events is Christmas in Roseland, a holiday lights extravaganza at the Gardens of the American Rose Center, Nov. 27-Dec. 23.

Other popular events include the Christmas on Caddo Fireworks Festival, a charming, small-town Christmas festival featuring fireworks over scenic Caddo Lake, Dec. 5, and Les Boutiques de Noel, a weekend-long holiday shopping extravaganza at the Bossier Civic Center, Nov. 19-21. l

FOR MORE INFORMATION To learn more about all of the great things to see and do in Shreveport-Bossier, visit www.shreveport-bossier.org or call 800-551-8682.

PETS | Dog Talk

T

here’s a reason why they are called fur babies. From tiny puppies to large hounds, Americans take serious pride in canine family members. In fact, according to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) there are about 70–80 million dogs in homes across the country. And although they may be a more-than-welcome addition to the family, they may not receive such a warm welcome from the neighborhood — leaving owners to wonder what might be causing some hairs to stick up on end. The answer could be simple: poor social etiquette.

No one likes to consider their dog as a source of disruption in the community. While enjoying relaxing evening walks together or playing in the backyard, people may never consider the behavior of their dog to be a problem, especially if its disposition is friendly around people. But if watched closely, they may notice he or she is coming across as a nuisance — meaning it might be time to correct behavioral issues such as barking, jumping or not staying when instructed.

If you feel like your little pup could cause a commotion in the neighborhood, don’t fret! There are tools and steps to follow that will help take your dog from bothersome to beloved.

BARKING

Oftentimes, the most disruptive action by a dog is also the hardest to control: barking. From sounding the alarm to separation anxiety, dogs use barking as an alert system. But it also is known as one of the most common causes for frustration among neighbors. To get barking under control, consider the following training tips: n First, identify the factors surrounding your dog’s barking. Is it more common during the day or at night? Are there triggers nearby such as people, animals or machines? According to the ASPCA, some barking issues can be resolved by removing problematic objects or noises. If the problem can’t be fixed by removing objects, have your dog checked to make sure that he or she isn’t suffering from a health issue. n Using tools and proper training together is often the best way to bring barking under control.

Products that feature audible deterrents are oftentimes a good way to stop incessant yapping from a dog. n To efficiently handle a barking problem, be sure to begin correctly training your dog while using a bark deterrent. First, never encourage or reward a dog for barking. If your dog barks compulsively, try “quiet” training. Allow the dog to bark initially, then instruct him or her to “quiet” and hold its snout for a few seconds. If the dog remains quiet after you let go, give it a treat as a reward. Not all dogs are the same, so training bark control can be difficult. However, with enough positive reinforcement used with training aids, excessive barking can be quelled. l August 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 29

August August 1, 10 am – 5 pm August 2, noon – 4 pm

The 46th Annual Architectural Treasures Tour Docent-led tours feature an eclectic mix of distinctive properties in Cedarburg and Mequon. Purchase tickets online at CedarburgCulturalCenter.org or call 262-375-3676.

August 4, 4 – 8 pm

Tosa’s Night Out, Flashlight Walk Against Crime (Rain or Shine) Hart Park, 7300 W Chestnut St, Wauwatosa Family activities including, health and safety displays, food, live music, coloring contest and more!

Registration required at the Little Read Book Store or Hart Park before the event. For safety reasons,

the following are prohibited: animals, skates, rollerblades, skateboards and bikes.

August 5, 6:30 – 9 pm

Westown River Rhythms Pere Marquette Park, on Old World 3rd, between State and Kilbourn.

Featuring Five Card Stud. A unique blend of big attitude, 70s flair and lounge singer slickness, these five musicians know how to please an audience.

August 5, 12, 19, 26; 10 am – 3 pm

Westown Farmers’ Market Zeidler Union Square (On Michigan between 3rd and 4th Street) Downtown Milwaukee’s largest and oldest open-air market! The Westown Farmers’ Market features

ACTIVITIES FOR ALL

more than 60 vendors selling Wisconsin-grown produce and flowers, delicious prepared food items, handcrafted art and jewelry, lunch from area restaurants and live music in the park’s gazebo.

to insurance regulations, headphones and dogs are not allowed.

Free parking is available in East Lot of Miller Park. Register online at www.getMeRegistered.com

August 6, 10 am – 8 pm

Wisconsin State Fair

Meijer Free First Thursdays Milwaukee Art Museum, 700 N. Art Museum Drive, Milwaukee Visitors have the opportunity to experience the Milwaukee Art Museum’s collections, exhibitions, and programs free on the first Thursday of the month. For additional information call 414-224-3200.

August 7, 7 pm

Outdoor Movie Night Village Park, N63W24459 Main Street, Sussex Start out the night with family games and then relax on a blanket and watch Big Hero 6. Concessions will be available, including free popcorn.

Rain date is August 21.

Saturday, August 8, 9:00 am to 3:00 pm

American Accents: A Festival of Fine Arts and Crafts Willowbrook Park, 109 N Main St, Hartford Now in its 29th year, this festival features over 80 craftsmen and artisans offering all handmade items.

There is something for everyone: yard art, beaded and gemstone jewelry, wooden accents and furniture, photography, paintings, needlework art and clothing as well as handmade soaps and spicy dip mixes! Local musicians provide a special background accompaniment to a perfect day in the park!

August 8, 7 – 8:15 (Registration)

16th Annual Hank Aaron State Trail 5K Run/Walk

The walk/run starts near the Klement’s Sausage Haus (on the east end of Miller Park Stadium. Due to course conditions, rollerblades and roller skates will not be allowed. Due 30 | WISCONSIN WOMAN August 2015

August 6-16, 9 am – 10 pm

Wisconsin State Fair Park, 640 S. 84th St., West Allis Ten days of rides, food, livestock and entertainment for all ages. Make sure to see all the new events: plein air at the fair, sporkies finals during the fair, Sprecher Landing, and the sea lion splash. Visit wistatefair.com for daily deals and schedules.

August 12, 6- 10 pm

Tosa Tonight Summer Concert

Rotary Performance Pavilion Hart Park, N. 68th St. and W. State St. Wauwatosa Milwaukee Irish Fest Foundation presents: A dual bill Irish Fest preview with Dallahan (from Scotland) and Socks in the Frying Pan (from Ireland) - Music starts at 6pm August 13-16

35th Annual Irish Fest Henry Maier Festival Park, 200 N Harbor Dr., Milwaukee This festival is sure to bring out the Irish in all ages. Activities include: live music, Leprechaun Village, parades, family activities including the family passport, Mass, baking contest, raffles and an abundance of food and beverages.

August 14,

Mysteries Unraveled Milwaukee Public Museum, 800 W Wells St, Milwaukee Museums are full mysteries waiting to be solved. Every year experts unravel new discoveries about ancient cultures, creatures, and the earth itself. During this unique overnight you’ll help us explore mysteries we think we’ve solved, those we are working on, and some that continue to baffle us. All the fields of natural science and human

history come together at the museum, and you’re invited to experience them all!

August 15 & 16, 10 am – 5 pm

Festival of the Arts

Fowler Park, N. Oakwood Avenue, Oconomowoc, WI This festival is considered one of the best outdoor-juried art fairs in the Midwest with over 140 artists from across the country. It is held on the beautiful shores of Fowler Lake in Fowler Park and is visited by thousands of attendees each year.

The Festival also includes live entertainment on three stages, a silent auction and several food vendors.

August 15

Run/Walk to Milwaukee Irish Fest Attendees will have the opportunity to enjoy a 5k route along the lakefront and will receive an event t-shirt, free beer after the race and will then be able to gain access to the 35th Annual Milwaukee Irish Fest for free, as well! To register, visit runtoirishfest.kintera.org.

August 15, 8 am & at every 15 minute increments

Dirty Girl Run

Waukesha County Fairgrounds, 1000 Northview Road, Waukesha The Largest Women’s Only Obstacle Race in the World! The event will happen rain or shine (or snow). Costumes and teams are highly encouraged (aka – think tutu’s, dirty team names and custom team shirts).

also a fashion show, singing competition, authentic Indian cuisine and marketplace. For more information, check www.indiafestmilwaukee.org.

August 19, 6- 8:30

Community Vibes featuring Up All Night Brown Deer Village Park, 4800 W. Green Brook Drive, Brown Deer

Free live music, local food vendors and businesses. Listen to Up All Night, a youthful, high-energy group that plays a variety of hits, spanning over seven decades of music!

Playing your favorites from Bruno Mars, Carrie Underwood, Journey, Bon Jovi, Justin Timberlake, Aretha Franklin, The Beatles and More!

August 15, 9 am – 4 pm

Menomonee Falls Pet Fair Rotary Park, Fond du Lac Ave., Menomonee Falls Join us at the 8th annual HAWS Pet Fair in Rotary Park off Fond du Lac Ave. on August 15th, 2015. Food, raffles, vendors, demonstrations, Photography Portrait with donation to HAWS, clippings, micro-chipping and more. Stop by the Paws Pledge for Pet Poop Pickup booth at the fair, too.

August 15, 11 am – 9 pm

INDIAFEST

Humboldt Park, 3000 S Howell Ave, Milwaukee IndiaFest is a free family festival in Humboldt Park that celebrates the culture of India. Along with music and dance performances, there is

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