Wisconsin Contemporary Woman Magazine

TAKING CARE OF YOUR

PARENTS

Kaye Garcia

Vol. 14 No. 9 | September 2015 | Complimentary

Helps support others in need

Fall GRILLING TIPS

WOMEN’S

HEALTH Below the Belt

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>> CAREERS AND FINANCE

Susan Marshall | 8 >> LIVING WELL

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COVER STORY KAYE GARCIA

4

INSIDE SUE ANN THOMPSON

6

September 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 3

SEPTEMBER| Cover Story

KAYE GARCIA

spirit giving

In the

of

K

aye Garcia was born on the Bad River Reservation of the Ojibwe Tribe in Northern Wisconsin. Today, at 58, she is the executive director of the Forest County Potawatomi Foundation, overseeing the distribution of funds to organizations that give greater opportunities to the disadvantaged. “We want to help those who struggle to find support,” she said. Garcia has been on the other side of the equation too. She grew up one of nine children. Her father was brakeman on the railroad. Eventually the family moved to Milwaukee where they continued to struggle. “I knew what it was like to be poor. I knew what it was like to be hungry,” Garcia remembered.

By 14, Garcia was involved with the Neighborhood Youth Corp and took advantage of Upward Bound opportunities in high school. She attended Marquette University for a brief time before she could no longer afford to attend. “We were impoverished. My family had no money to send me to college.” Community work continued to draw her in; and through the American Indian Counsel, Garcia began her involvement with AODA (Alcohol and Other Drug Abuse).

Shirley LaFleur, who Garcia worked with at the AODA, saw Garcia’s potential. “She mentored me and always encouraged me. She told me to do my best, be my best and look my best,” Garcia said. Garcia expressed gratitude for LaFleur’s valuable guidance and the encouragement to leave her comfort zone. After eight years with AODA, an opportunity with the Potawatomi Casino presented itself.

“My sister had a connection with the Indian Community School that received a grant from the casino and suggested I look into a job opportunity at Potawatomi,” Garcia said. In 1994, she took a position in the community relations department at Potawatomi Bingo and Casino. Within 13 years, she was the department manager.

Her background made her the ideal candidate. The casino management saw her potential as well. “They put me in a management program and groomed me for the job.”

Garcia’s community involvement while representing the casino brought her to the attention of Forest County Potawatomi Foundation. In 2009, she became its executive director.

The foundation is a branch of the tribal government, Garcia said. It has no affiliation with the casino. The foundation has one other employee along with Garcia. All revenue that comes out of the casinos goes back to the tribe. From that revenue, the foundation receives $3 million annually.

Garcia spends most of her time traveling around the state visiting nonprofit organizations and speaking with people in need of the foundation’s support. Organizations inquire about grants and seek support. The requesting organization submits a project description and grant proposal. “An organization needs to have had a 501c(3) status for at least three years as one of the criteria to be considered for grant money from our foundation, but I also research each organization seeking grant money.” Garcia also visits the organizations and the people who run them.

“What impresses me the most are the people who do the work.”

4 | WISCONSIN WOMAN September 2015

The Foundation targets its resources to those areas with a high percentage of individuals with low and very low incomes. Steeped in the Native American belief of using what one needs and giving away what one can, the foundation supports areas of arts and culture, civic and community, economic development, education, elderly issues, youth development, environmental, health and human services, veterans, and Native American causes.

“We don’t just distribute funds. We create a synergy, get involved and work with these organizations.”

Local efforts create a strong community for everyone; and the Wisconsin organizations the foundation supports are wide and diverse from the Marcus Center of the Performing Arts and AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin to the YMCA of Metropolitan Milwaukee and Wisconsin Wetlands Association. “There are programs within organizations that may not get the attention or funding needed,” Garcia said. “A foundation grant can help an underserved area to help combat poverty issues.”

“I love that what I do doesn’t feel like a job. It’s passion to help those who struggle to find support. This feels like home to me. It’s where I’ve been all my life.”

The foundation distributes funds to approximately 300 organizations. In 1999, the Forest County Potawatomi Foundation began with the principles to help fight poverty, promote economic opportunity, strengthen communities and provide an example of responsible citizenship by assisting charitable organizations. To date, the foundation has contributed more than $30 million to charitable causes in both Forest County and in the Greater Milwaukee area.

With the advent of Indian gaming, the tribe was able to establish and build two casinos — the first in Forest County, followed by one in Milwaukee. The revenue generated by gaming has had an impact on the tribe’s way of life by providing good jobs, good homes, exceptional health care and greater self-sufficiency. The impact of the two casinos on the surrounding communities has been positive as well, said Garcia, through jobs that support families and shared-revenue payments that fund services for the communities. Through the casinos and tribal ventures, the Potawatomi tribe is the largest employer in Forest County, and among the top employers in Milwaukee.

As executive director of the Forest County Potawatomi Foundation, Garcia loves what she does. “I don’t like being in front of the computer. I’d rather be out meeting people -- particularly those in the youth development programs. They are helping to develop our leaders for tomorrow. No doors should be close to them.”

“I love that what I do doesn’t feel like a job. It’s passion to help those who struggle to find support. This feels like home to me. It’s where I’ve been all my life.”

Garcia and her husband, Jose, are the parents of two grown children.

Photos below are all organizations that have recently benefited from the Forest County Potawatomi Foundation.

Milwaukee Urban League

Neighborhood House

Habitat for Humanity September 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 5

LIVING WELL | Sue Ann Says:

Know the Guidelines for

CANCER SCREENINGS

H

ave you checked your calendar lately? Is it full of meetings, family birthdays and dinner with a close friend? Our calendars fill up fast these days as we try to manage our work lives along with our family responsibilities. Go back now and check it again.

Have you written in your appointment for a mammogram?

How about a screening for cervical cancer? Do you know the age you should first have a colonoscopy? I want to share with you recommendations on when these screenings and tests should take place in your life. Please remember that these are only guidelines and that the best person to tell you when to set up your screening is your own health professional. I will share two medical group’s recommendations with you: The American Cancer Society and The U.S. Preventative Services Taskforce (USPSTF).

BREAST CANCER SCREENINGS The USPSTF recommends: q Women under the age of 50 should make the decision

to have biennial mammography based on the individual’s own history and values in regards to the benefits and harms of this screening. q Women age 50-74 are encouraged to have biennial mammography.

The American Cancer Society recommends: q A yearly mammogram beginning at the age of 40 and

continuing if the woman is in good health. q Women in their 20s and 30s have a clinical breast exam every 3 years. q A 40-year-old woman should have a clinical breast exam every year. q Women in their 20s can use breast self-exams. q Women with a family history or genetic risk for breast cancer may be screened with an MRI.

COLON CANCER SCREENINGS The USPSTF guidelines recommend: q A colorectal cancer screening beginning at the age of

50 for adults and continuing until age 75. The screenings include fecal occult blood tests, a sigmoidoscopy or a colonoscopy.

The American Cancer Society guidelines state that women should be screened for polyps and cancer by having one of these tests: q A flexible sigmoidoscopy every 5 years q A colonoscopy every 10 years q A double-contrast barium enema every 5 years q A virtual colonoscopy every 5 years.

On top of those tests, they recommend a yearly fecal occult blood test or a yearly fecal immunochemical test. A

6 | WISCONSIN WOMAN September 2015

stool DNA test can be done every 3 years. If any of these tests are positive, a colonoscopy is done. Again personal and family history can change this schedule, so discuss these tests with your doctor.

CERVICAL CANCER SCREENINGS The USPSTF endorses cervical cancer screenings at these ages: q Women age 21-65 should have a Pap smear every 3 years.

q Women age 30-65 could lengthen the interval testing by using a combination of Pap smears and human papillomavirus (HPV) testing every 5 years.

The American Cancer Society recommends: q Women under age 21 should not be tested. q Women between ages 21 and 29 should have a Pap test

done every 3 years. q Women between the ages of 30 and 65 should have a Pap test and an HPV test done every 5 years. q Women over age 65 who have had regular screenings and normal test results should not be tested for cervical cancer. q Women with a history of a cervical pre-cancer should be tested with Pap smears for at least 20 years after that diagnosis. q Women who have had their uterus removed should not be tested. q Women who were vaccinated against HPV should follow the screenings recommended for their group.

LUNG CANCER SCREENINGS

We need to understand how many packs a person has smoked in order to make sense of the screenings. The American Cancer Society defines a pack-year as the number of cigarette packs smoked each day multiplied by the number of

years a person has smoked. Someone who smoked a pack of cigarettes per day for 30 years has a 30 pack-year smoking history, as does someone who smoked 2 packs a day for 15 years.

The USPSTF recommends these lung cancer screenings: q A woman from age 55-80 with a history of smoking

for 30 pack-years can have a low dose computed tomography every year. q A woman who has quit in the last 15 years or who currently smokes can have a low dose computed tomography annually. q Once a woman has not smoked for 15 years screenings can be discontinued.

The American Cancer Society endorses these lung cancer screenings: q There is no recommendation for people at average or

low risk due to smoking. q A woman between 55 and 74 years old, in good health and with a 30 pack-year of smoking and still smoking or a woman who quit smoking in the last 15 years, may be screened with a low dose CT scan of the chest.

LIVE HEALTHY TO DECREASE YOUR RISK OF CANCER

In order to help prevent various types of cancer, you need to choose to live a healthy lifestyle. This lifestyle should include maintaining a healthy weight, seeking out regular exercise, eating a healthy diet that includes a variety of fruits and vegetables, and quitting smoking. See your doctor on a regular basis to be proactive regarding your health.

PENCIL IN THOSE APPOINTMENTS AND KEEP THEM!

Remember that the screening lists in this article are guidelines. Your physician can inform you of the years you need to be screened. Talk to your physician to set up any screening appointments and don’t miss them!

Because it all begins with a healthy woman…

Sue Ann Thompson is founder and president of the Wisconsin Women’s Health Foundation (WWHF), a statewide non-profit organization whose mission is to help Wisconsin women and their families reach their healthiest potential.

WWHF provides programs and conducts forums that focus on education, prevention, and early detection; connects individuals to health resources; produces and distributes the most up-to-date health education and resource materials; and, awards grants and scholarships to women health researchers and related community non-profits. To learn more, visit wwhf.org or call 1-800-448-5148.

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September 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 7

Women’s Health BELOW THE BELT

{G

Inside Knowledge About

Gynecologic Cancer et the facts about the signs, symptoms and risk factors of gynecologic cancers. When gynecologic cancers are found early, treatment is most effective.

8 | WISCONSIN WOMAN September 2015

WHAT ARE GYNECOLOGIC CANCERS?

Gynecologic cancers are cancers that start in a woman’s reproductive organs. There are five main types of gynecologic cancers: · Cervical cancer · Ovarian cancer · Uterine cancer · Vaginal cancer · Vulvar cancer Each gynecologic cancer is unique, with different signs, symptoms, risk factors (things that may increase your chance of getting a disease) and prevention strategies.

SYMPTOMS

There is no way to know for sure which women will get a gynecologic cancer. That’s why it is important to pay attention to your body and know what is normal for you, so you can recognize the warning signs or symptoms of gynecologic cancer.

Some unexplained signs or symptoms of gynecologic cancers include: abnormal vaginal bleeding or discharge; pelvic pain or pressure; abdominal or back pain; bloating; changes in bathroom habits; itching or burning of the vulva; changes in the vulva color or skin, such as rash, sores or warts. If you experience any abnormal vaginal bleeding or any of the other symptoms listed above for two weeks or longer, and they are not normal for you, you should talk to your doctor, nurse or other health care provider right away. It may be nothing to worry about as these symptoms may be caused by something other than cancer, but the only way to know is to see a doctor.

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There is no way to know for sure which women will get a gynecologic cancer. That’s why it is important to pay attention to your body

PREVENTION AND SCREENING

Some gynecologic cancers are caused by human papillomavirus (HPV), a very common sexually transmitted infection. There is a vaccine that protects against the HPV types that most often cause cervical, vaginal and vulvar cancers. It is recommended for 11- and 12-year-old girls. Ideally, girls should get three doses of this vaccine before their first sexual contact. It can also be given to girls and women who are 13–26 and did not get any or all of the shots when they were younger. If you or someone you care about is in this age range, talk with a doctor about it.

Of all the gynecologic cancers, only cervical cancer has a screening test—the Pap test—that can find this cancer early, when treatment can be most effective. The Pap test also helps prevent cervical cancer by finding pre-cancers, cell changes on the cervix that might become cervical cancer if they are not treated appropriately.

In addition to the Pap test, which is the main screening test for cervical cancer, there is a test called the HPV test that looks for HPV infection. It may be used for screening women aged 30 years and older, or at any age for women who have unclear Pap test results.

September 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 9

FINANCE | with Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz

This Is What Marriage Equality Looks Like -- For Your Finances Dear Readers: When it comes to money, marriage changes things -- a lot. From owning property to retirement planning to estate planning to filing taxes, the rules are different -- and largely more favorable.

And now that the Supreme Court has paved the way for same-sex couples to marry, millions of additional Americans will be able to receive the advantages heterosexual couples have enjoyed for years.

The thing is, though, that like so much else in personal finance, you have to understand the rules in order to get the maximum benefit. In some cases, a couple may get hit with a higher income tax bill (the infamous “marriage penalty”), but from a personal finance perspective, the positives of marriage far outweigh the negatives. Here’s a quick overview.

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF SPOUSAL AND SURVIVOR SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFITS

One of the most significant advantages of marriage is that it makes you eligible for both spousal and survivor benefits from Social Security. The most basic benefit is that as a married couple, you will each be eligible to collect either a Social Security benefit based on your own work record or up to 50 percent of your spouse’s benefit, whichever is greater (and you can also switch between the two). In addition, as a widow or widower, each of you will be eligible to collect up to 100 percent of the other’s benefit. And should you divorce, you might still be eligible for benefits as an exspouse.

Also realize that there are a number of strategies that can increase your combined benefit with your spouse; be sure to take your time and weigh your options before either one of you files.

THINK CAREFULLY ABOUT HOW YOU TITLE YOUR PROPERTY

Whether you’re buying a new home or sharing an existing home, think carefully about how the property is registered. Unless both of your names are on the property, the unnamed partner is vulnerable in case of divorce or death. If you sell your home, a single person only gets a $250,000 capital gains exclusion; a married couple who own the home jointly can exclude up to $500,000. For estate plan10 | WISCONSIN WOMAN September 2015

ning purposes, you may also want to register the title in the name of a revocable living trust; this will protect your assets from the probate process.

Another bright spot is that it is generally much easier for a married couple to qualify for a mortgage.

BENEFIT FROM FAVORABLE GIFT AND ESTATE TAX PROVISIONS

You will be able to take advantage of the unlimited estate tax marital deduction. A married person can leave an unlimited amount of money to his or her spouse without paying any estate tax. In addition, the surviving spouse can use any unused portion of the deceased spouse’s lifetime estate tax exclusion upon his or her death. Under current law, this means that a married couple can pass on up to $10.86 million free of estate tax.

Revisit your life insurance needs. In light of potential estate tax savings, wealthy couples should re-examine their need for life insurance. That old policy may no longer be necessary.

Your gifts to each other won’t be subject to gift tax.

Married couples can transfer an unlimited amount of property to each other free of any reporting responsibilities or gift tax. In addition, you’ll be able to use “gift splitting” to essentially double the amount that you can jointly give to a third party (in 2015, from $14,000 to $28,000) without having to report your gift to the IRS. You may want to form a trust. If you are blending two families, you may want to create a qualified terminable interest property, or QTIP, trust. That way, a surviving spouse is granted a life interest in the trust property, but upon his or her death, the property passes to heirs selected by the first-to-die spouse.

PAY ATTENTION TO INCOME TAX IMPLICATIONS

You will be able to choose between filing a joint income tax return and filing a separate one. This doesn’t mean that your combined tax bill will go down; in fact, you may see it go up -- especially if you both earn a substantial and similar amount of money. Some tax credits and deductions are available only if you file jointly, but it’s a good idea to consult with an accountant to see which choice would be best overall.

You won’t have to pay tax on a spousal insurance benefit. When an unmarried person includes a partner on his or her health insurance plan, that benefit is taxable. For married couples, it’s tax-free.

You will be able to defer distributions from an inherited individual retirement account. If you inherit an IRA from your spouse, you can basically treat it as your own and postCONTINUED ON PAGE 24

CAREERS | Building Stronger Women

Cornerstone of CONFIDENCE WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD GREATER CONFIDENCE?

O

ver the years I have asked this question a lot.

As you might imagine, the answers have ranged widely. One woman would start her own flower shop, another would write a book.

One would start a family despite a demanding job with a big salary. One would re-establish communications with her children years after abandoning them in a bitter divorce. One would quit smoking, another would speak her mind.

Some women say that if they had more confidence their lives would be completely different. They might be living in a different city, married to a different person (or not married at all), working in a different job, and actually feeling happy!

When asked what holds them back, women often cite circumstances beyond their control. They don’t have the power, energy or resources to change things. They don’t have the confidence.

The real truth is that they have not made up their minds to do something different. They have not made a commitment.

People who make commitments live simpler lives than those who don’t. Their lives are not necessarily easier, but they are simpler.

People who make commitments decide who they want to be and how they want to live. They decide the types of

people they will welcome into their lives and the ones they will keep out. They decide what values will guide their actions, how they will invest their time, and what outcomes they are

hoping to achieve.

Commitment is the cornerstone of confidence because it involves making decisions-Saying yes to some things and no to others. It starts with a vision of you at your best and puts countless little steps in place for achieving that vision.

It honors your relationships, acknowledges your responsibilities, and accepts the truth that you are in charge of you.

Commitment turns wishful thinking into purposeful action. It is the bedrock of confidence.

Here’s some good news: You are not born with a finite amount of confidence. You don’t reach a peak one day when everything is going swimmingly, and then either stay there or regress to lower levels of confidence as life brings its inevitable challenges. You can deliberately increase your confidence by making decisions and taking action.

The decision-making aspect of commitment can be tricky for women. It may feel selfish to concentrate on things you want or need when so many others depend on you. The opinions of everyone from friends and relatives to bosses and co-workers can muddy the waters and confuse your thinking. The expectations they place on you can feel impossibly heavy.

Which is one reason why commitment is so rare in today’s world. We are often taught to make sure that while we are taking care of ourselves, we are not neglecting someone else. Conversely, if something isn’t working, we are encouraged to chuck it. Commitment looks these protests in the eye and calmly chooses to move forward.

And forward motion fuels confidence.

Once you know what you want to do, begin today to identify small steps you can take each day to make progress.

Saying no to friends who want to hang out when you would rather work out is a tiny thing you can do to begin to change your life. Picking a restaurant for dinner with your partner instead of going along with his/her standard choice is another. Are these things easy? No. They can feel really big!

But the confidence you will build as you purposely choose things that make you happier is worth the discomfort.

As you begin to feel stronger and happier about the way you are living, you may inspire your friends to follow their dreams as well. The new conversations you will have about what you’re trying, what you’re experiencing and the energy you feel as a result of your small successes will be far more rewarding than the old worn out tales of woe.

To achieve the things you would do if you had more confidence, make a commitment. Decide what you want to accomplish, then do one small thing each day that will eventually take you there. l •••• Susan Marshall is an author and speaker whose book, “How to Grow a Backbone: 10 Strategies for Gaining Power and Influence at Work,” has been translated into multiple languages and is especially popular in Asia. Her work is dedicated to building strong leaders who create successful organizations, transform school systems, and develop leaders at all levels.

You can reach her at (262) 567-5983 or susan@backboneinstitute.com September 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 11

LIVING WELL | Taking Care of Your Parents

Having a family meeting before a CRISIS SITUATION

12 | WISCONSIN WOMAN September 2015

W

hy have a family meeting? Too often a family meeting is delayed until the older adult has a health or housing relocation crisis. They are frequently held informally through discussion during the holidays or at special family events. However, when family meetings are held because of a crisis or during informal activities, discussion can be fragmented and often not everyone involved is consulted.

It is common for family members to have misconceived or pre-existing ideas regarding the physical and mental capabilities of the older adult. Family members also may be confused about exactly what their caregiving role is going to be. This is why having a family meeting is so important; and why doing so before a crisis situation can help avoid the heightened emotions brought on by stressful circumstances.

Ideally, in a situation of aging parents and adult children, the parents should openly discuss their caregiving expectations with their children. The adult children need to define their limitations as to how much caregiving they are willing to do. All immediate family members should be present in a non-crisis situation.

A good way to bring up the topic of caregiving is to get all close family members and friends, age 18 and older, together to fill out their Power of Attorney for Health Care forms, appoint health care representatives and discuss care preferences. The forms, which are free, can help stimulate discussion about the older adults’ care and housing preferences. They can be found at http://www.dhs.wisconsin.gov/forms/advdirectives.

Is a family meeting always needed? Some families who frequently communicate by telephone or face-to-face and understand the need to “share” caregiving functions may not need a family meeting. However, this scenario is rare. A family meeting can still be a nice way to check on whether or not everyone feels they are being treated fairly or kept in the communication loop.

How do you hold a “family meeting?” The meeting should be kept as small as possible, only attended by those individuals who will have direct decision-making or care involvement. If the older adult is mentally competent, he or she needs to be involved in all decisions about his or her own care and attend all family meetings.

A basic agenda should be developed to keep the meeting on track. Before the meeting, everyone should be able to give their input on the topics for discussion and no one’s ideas should be discounted. The outline can change and develop with future meetings and as care needs change. For ideas on important topics to include and discuss see the Family Caregiver Support Network’s handout entitled “Family Planning Is Important.” This handout may be obtained by calling (414) 220-8600.

If disputes are expected, the first meeting can be about setting ground rules about behavior, understanding what are convenient times for meetings and goals for meetings. If relationships are strained, a neutral third party such as a social worker or geriatric care manager trained in offering family meetings may be a good person to have at meetings.

If the only time all family members can get together is during the holidays, schedule a special time, possibly the day after the holiday, for a family meeting. Then whenever discus-

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FOR 40 YEARS INTERFAITH OLDER ADULT PROGRAMS HAS MADE A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE IN THE LIVES OF SENIORS AND THEIR FAMILIES. Let us help your parents. From our housekeeping, personal care, and telephone safety services, to our family caregiving support, Interfaith is here to help older adults remain engaged, supported and valued as they grow older.

Visit Interfaithmilw.org or call 414-220-8686 September 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 13

sion about caregiving is brought up, there can be a reminder that it will be discussed “tomorrow.” Everyone can then enjoy the holidays and complete attention can be given to discussing caregiving concerns during the meeting.

older adult can discuss his or her preferences for immediate or future care and housing. Also, Advanced Directives known as Powers of Attorney for Health Care and for Finance, when completed, can help give direction when delegating duties and choosing roles.

2.) Everyone in the meeting should be encouraged to particFAMILY MEETING CHECKLIST ipate so that no one can later say, “I didn’t get to talk.”

1.) Invite everyone, including the older adult, who has an interest but keep the meeting as small as possible. Limit 3.) Listen “generously.” Remember that there is usually attendance to those people who have direct contact with the aging loved one. If this is a planning meeting and not an older adult care or relocation crisis, set the guidelines for future meetings – frequency, respect while talking, length of talking, place for meetings and goals for meetings, etc. The

more than one way to solve a crisis or situation.

4.)

Take notes so that things can be sorted out later and ideas can be written down if more thought is needed.

5.) Obtain the help of an objective outside party if needed.

Many social workers and geriatric care managers are trained to help families negotiate sensitive issues with a goal of having the best possible outcome.

6.) If anger crops up, suggest a break so folks can “cool off” and hopefully come back to the table a little more willing to work through the challenges.

7.)

Be willing to compromise. Rarely does anyone get to have his or her way all the time and on every point.

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14 | WISCONSIN WOMAN September 2015

8.) Agree to disagree without being “disagreeable” if at all possible! Common courtesy and civility do matter in keeping things positive in family discussions.

9.) Have more than one meeting if needed and if appropriate so that ideas can be explored, phone calls made and new facts presented before a final decision is made.

10.) End the meeting by affirming the following: • What was decided?

• What is left to be decided?

• Who is going to do what before the next meeting?

• Setting up a time for the next meeting if needed.

Interfaith Older Adult Programs Caregiver Support - 414.220.8600 – www.living-options.org www.interfaithmilw.org www.caregiversupportnetwork.org

Cedar Pathfinders Care Management The answer will come to you.

A Cedar Pathfinder Certified Care Manager is a specially trained social worker who can be on hand for your older loved one for hospitalizations, home visits, accompanying on appointments, managing medications and arranging in-home help.

Let the area’s most trusted senior care provider help you navigate the many care options available to help an older loved one stay home – where he or she wishes most to be. Call 262.306.2691 to arrange a FREE 15-minute phone consultation!

Services available throughout Washington and five adjoining counties.

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home health  hospice  pathfinders

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The Caregiving Experience Why is the Caregiving Experience Different for Everyone?

between the caregiver and person receiving care. It also involves a change in the way the person giving care views him or herself in relation to the person being cared for. This new role grows out of the earlier relationship between the two care partners.

The Caregiving Journey Changes You

The caregiving role unfolds over time as the caregiver takes on greater responsibility, helping with everyday household affairs, personal care and decisions. Caregiving involves an identity change process. At some point, the person providing care begins to identify himself or herself as a caregiver

D

id you ever notice that your caregiving experience is different than that of even a very close sibling or friend? Have you wondered why your father will not let anyone in to help with mom?

Information from www.extension.org tells us that caregiving experiences are just as unique as the people involved. Each caregiver has different needs, feelings, challenges and rewards. And each family member’s relationship with the care receiver is unique, influencing expectations and the overall caregiver experience. Much has been learned about the differences in these experiences as the result of a growing body of research. For example: i Men tend to think about and approach caregiving dif-

ferently than women. i Husbands and wives differ from adult children or other relatives in what they do, how they do it, how long they do it, and when they consider letting others help.

Each of us forms personal expectations of ourselves as caregivers. These expectations are shaped by past experiences and observations, societal rules, our cultural heritage and our own family rules.

Caregiving can affect us in multiple ways. It can cause changes in physical and emotional health, finances, and time available to participate in other family, social, work, leisure or community activities.

Caregiving can be stressful at times. Yet, people who perform the same task may have very different experiences.

One person might feel very uncomfortable emptying a commode, while someone else may not give it a second thought.

Caregivers also experience different types and levels of stress over time.

Rhonda Montgomery, PhD, has been studying family caregiving experiences for more than 20 years with her colleague Karl Kosloski, PhD. Out of their work has emerged a theory called Caregiver Identity Change. It says the caregiving experience over time involves a process of change in activities, responsibilities, and in the partner-like relationship

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September 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 15

Celebrate the Whole Person For many families, it may be time to start the conversation about assisted living.

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in addition to being a wife, a son or other kind of relationship.

The journey is different for each person in terms of when and how we begin to identify ourselves as caregivers. Caregivers who are providing assistance for a short period of time may never see themselves as a caregiver, while those providing care for years may see themselves and act more like a caregiver than spouse or adult child. This is reflected in a statement repeated by many adult children: “I feel as if I’m the parent now and not the child.” They have assumed a caregiving identity and lost their identity as an adult child to their parent.

Personal rules and expectations play an important part in how we each feel about what we are doing in the caregiving role. Montgomery and Kosloski find caregivers experience increased levels of stress when a mismatch occurs between what they are doing and what they think they should be doing on behalf of the individual receiving care. Often, the source of distress is not the activity itself, but how the caregiver feels about it. The first step to lowering caregiver distress is to identify its source. Once this happens, caregivers can work toward reaching a new comfort level. A number of strategies have been shown to help reduce caregiver distress: i Adjusting or modifying the expectations we have of ourselves. i Changing what we are currently doing--perhaps by making room to let others help or by letting go of some current responsibilities. i Changing the way we view or judge our own actions.

Share Your Caregiving Journey with Others through Research

Montgomery and Kosloski’s research on the differences in caregiving experiences continues to move forward with the help of a national caregiver registry called the League of Experienced Family Caregivers. The purpose of the League is to help create better services and resources to support family caregivers.

Caregivers share their knowledge and insights by completing brief questionnaires in one of three ways--telephone interviews, mail-in surveys or online. More than 1,000 caregivers are currently enrolled. If you would like to join, log on at: www.familycaregivers.uwm.edu or call toll free 800-4102586.

Reprinted with permission from the UW Extension’s “extension” website.

Can you answer “yes” to any of these questions?

Are you concerned about an older adult who lives nearby or at a distance, either at home or in a facility?

Do you help with grocery shopping, housekeeping, rides, doctors appointments, bills or insurance?

Do you help with feeding, bathing, dressing or supervision?

Are you concerned about someone who isn’t taking care of him or herself?

Are you using all your own sick leave or vacation time to help or care for someone?

We call that caregiving.

16 | WISCONSIN WOMAN September 2015

Opening Summer of 2015!

Mom and Dad are Getting Older:

How Can I Help?

I

magine your mom just turned 70 years old. She’s in good health, but she lives alone and doesn’t get out much. She may talk to her neighbors once and a while, but usually she’s home alone. You try to visit when you can, but you can tell from recent conversations that she feels lonely and bored. Sound familiar? What can you do?

The hardest part is knowing where to start. Interfaith Older Adult Programs is proud to serve more than 17,000 clients in Southeast Wisconsin. Thousands of those clients are older adults who take advantage of the variety of resources and engaging activities Interfaith provides to support our mission of “Linking Older Adults with a Caring Community.” Other clients are caregivers seeking resources and support on how to care for their aging parents –– perhaps someone just like you.

“If mom and dad are getting older, and you want to help them stay active, are concerned about their health and well-being, or you just need a little help, we want you to know that Interfaith is here for you,” said Felice Green, PR/ Marketing Director for Interfaith.

New State-of-the-Art facility specializing in dementia care and individuals needing physical and medical concerns.

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HELPING YOUR PARENTS STAY ACTIVE AND ENGAGED

Social isolation is a concerning and serious problem among our aging population, so it’s important that older adults have an active lifestyle. And providing safe, engaging and fun activities for older adults is one of Interfaith’s primary goals.

Older adults in the Milwaukee area can visit one of the six senior centers Interfaith manages and take part in fun, engaging activities, such as wellness and fitness classes, stained glass, woodworking, socializing with other older adults, and even day trips around Wisconsin. Participation at the senior centers is free, with the exception of Hart Park Senior Center in Wauwatosa, which has a small annual fee.

If you’re concerned about your mom or dad getting a proper meal on a daily basis, each Interfaith-managed senior center also has a senior dining site where adults 60+ receive a hot, nutritious meal. Meals are free with a suggested contribution of $2.50 per meal to help offset the cost. Additional senior dining sites are located in the Milwaukee area.

7 manufacturers to choose from with the latest digital technology

September 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 17

Many older adults, especially in the Baby Boomer generation, are looking for ways to not only stay active, but also give back to their community. Has your parent considered volunteering? Through Interfaith’s Retired and Senior Volunteer Program (RSVP), adults 55+ can become tutors for MPS grade school students, senior ambassadors, or companions to people in need, such as veterans or other older adults.

A HELPING HAND

Many adults work full-time or are simply unable to help their parents on a daily basis. What about help with everyday chores and tasks? Interfaith has thousands of volunteers of all ages that help make safety a priority to our older adults by providing free services, such as rides to medical appointments or the grocery store, making friendly home visits, helping with seasonal chores, assisting veterans, and more.

Interfaith’s Telephone Reassurance service, also free, is available for Milwaukee County residents, 60 years or older, who receive a phone call each day to verify their safety and well being. Especially beneficial if your parent lives alone, Telephone Reassurance provides added peace of mind knowing that each day, someone will be checking on your mom or dad.

For a small fee, take advantage of Interfaith’s Personal Care Plus (PCP) service. It’s an affordable option to get your parents extra assistance while they remain comfortably in their home. PCP’s fully trained, reliable, attentive and kind staff offer caring services with a personal touch. They can assist your parents with tasks such as housekeeping, laundry, meal preparation, bathing, medication reminders, wellness checks, and companionship.

CAREGIVER SUPPORT

If your parents are reaching a point in their lives where you are becoming their primary caregiver, you may feel overwhelmed, stressed, or simply have a growing list of questions. Interfaith serves hundreds of caregivers in southeast Wisconsin through its Family Caregiver Support Network (FCSN), which is dedicated solely to helping caregivers. Resource specialists are available to provide support, respite services, help with living options and access to local resources.

For example, a caregiver and client recently reported that because of FCSN’s help, she was able to take a job as a pharmacy technician. She went to school to become a pharmacy technician, but had to stop to take care of her mom and dad. Now, she’s back to work part-time. She said she didn’t know what she would do if she didn’t have FCSN, and that it has been a wonderful help and resource for her and her family.

You can reach Interfaith at (414) 291-7500 or learn more about any of the services, opportunities or locations mentioned above at www.interfaithmilw.org.

About Interfaith Older Adult Programs: Since 1975, Interfaith responds to the current physical and social challenges of aging by providing innovative programs, successful solutions, and the often much needed extra helping hand. Learn more at www.interfaithmilw.org.

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Call Tudor Oaks to learn more about...

• Recognizing Changes What signs could indicate memory issues • How to Start the Conversation Suggestions for addressing this sensitive subject • Benefits of Dedicated Memory Care Support 24/7 in an engaging environment • Customized Care Plans Based on the “whole person” concept Online?

• Help for Making a Smooth Transition Check out the new Call to tour our newly redeveloped community where your loved one will thrive.

Our senior living counselors can help you through this process.

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Tudor Oaks Retirement Community is owned and operated by American Baptist Homes of the Midwest, a not-for-profit provider of senior housing and healthcare since 1930.

18 | WISCONSIN WOMAN September 2015

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ach Caregivers journey is unique, but An employed family caregiver has a minimum of three jobs: 1) selfcare; 2) work duties; and, 3) helping or caring for an older adult. For the family caregiver who has a spouse and/or children, there is the fourth job of caring for these family members.

Whether family caregiving means periodically helping or hands-on care and concern about an older adult who lives in an assisted living or nursing home facility, there are demands on your time. It may involve coordinating older adult care services or medical appointments, going to medical appointments with your older adult, planning for future care and handling minor and major emergencies. This likely takes time away from work or creates “presenteeism.”

Being organized helps you prioritize what needs to be done and may reduce the time dedicated toward actual care which allows you time to enjoy being with your older adult, family and friends. It also indicates to your employer that you are trying to control the effect of caregiving on your job. Be sure as part of your organization to include time for your personal interests. A family caregiver can only be good for everyone else – family members and work – if self-care is a priority. As they say on airplanes, put your own oxygen mask on before helping others!

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20 | WISCONSIN WOMAN September 2015

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Here are some tips that may be helpful in keeping up with personal care and family caregiving: i Make “to do” checklists: Having things in writing can often help keep a person organized and make duties that seem “larger than life” less stressful and more manageable. Also, if a worry wakes you up in the middle of the night, try writing it down. You’ll feel free to go back to sleep knowing that you will see the reminder in the morning. i Ask for help: Don’t be afraid to ask siblings, other family members or caring friends to help you with caregiving duties. Also, communicate to your spouse and children the type of help you need to take time for caregiving, and meet your family and personal needs. A family meeting can be helpful with discussion and acceptance of tasks to prevent

family conflict. Professionals are available to facilitate if necessary.

i Pursue community services or pay for help: If you or your older adult’s budget allows, check out paid inhome care services or having a geriatric care manager coordinate care. Delivered meals and other community services – free and for pay – may help. Contact the Family Caregiver Support Network to discuss your help options 414-220-8600.

i Make your older adult aware of your limitations: The older adult you care about may not realize con-

straints you may have at work. Communicating this helps eliminate confusion and potential resentment about why you can or can’t help in certain circumstances.

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i Group appointments and help duties: If you group, for example, medical and hair appointments in an afternoon, or help with groceries and housekeeping for a few hours an evening or weekend day, caregiving duties may seem less demanding of your time. Grouping time may also make it easier to coordinate efforts with your employer and other family members. i Consider assisted living, adult day care or other care facilities: Depending on the level of care

needed, there are many assisted living housing and adult day care options available. Moving to housing with care services or using adult day services can be a positive change for an older adult, including more socialization and activities providing mental stimulation that wouldn’t happen being isolated at home.

Just like family, Rent-A-Daughter provides an extra pair of hands, a warm heart and a friendly smile to make each day easier. Call us when you or someone you love could use help with cooking, shopping, running errands and other domestic needs.

Captioned Telephones Free with verified hearing loss* Ideal for people with hearing loss, a captioned telephone works like any other telephone, with one important addition: it displays captions of every word the caller says. Users can listen to the caller, and can also read the written captions for added clarity.

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LIVING WELL | Travel

Elkhart

LAKE

OR BUST

BY MAUREEN SLATTERY

convenience of a AAA Four Diamond luxury all-suite hotel. The one bedroom unit - complete with full kitchen, wet bar, fireplace and separate bedroom was so nice I thought I died, went to heaven and ended up at a Ritz Carlton.

The resort is also home to Aspira Spa. The Spa, considered one of the finest in the Midwest, takes a holistic and organic approach to treatments. I was treated to the Sacred Water’s Massage; one of their signature treatments using purified stones and water from the lake behind the resort. Truly, I am a spa snob. I have had massages, facials and every spa treatment you could imagine all over the world at fine resorts and hotels. I am not bragging but just telling you the facts. The Aspira Spa ranks in my top five for spa experiences.

Also at the Osthoff is L’ecole de la Maison cooking school. We made an entire French meal complete with wine, French baguettes, tenderloin steak and crepes Suzettes for dessert.

As Rachel Ray would say, YUM - O!!!!

Right next door to the Osthoff Resort is the turn of the century Siebkens Resort. This fourth generation resort was renovated in 2008, adding rental

ROAD AMERICA NASCAR FANS

IMAGE BY SIEBKENS RESORT

IMAGE BY VICTORIAN VILLAGE RESORT

GRAND VICTORIAN LADY

condominiums. But the original lodge reminds me of the old railroad lodges in some of the national parks. The real claim to fame for Seibkens is their internationally renowned Stop in Tavern, where anybody who is anybody on the racing circuit has stopped for a beer and sandwich.

Victorian Village Resort is just up the hill from Seibkens and the Osthoff.

The Victorian Village Resort, originally built in 1872, has also undergone a million dollar renovation and restoration offering quaint rooms and luxury condominiums.

A must when visiting Elkhart Lake is a cocktail at their Barefoot Bay Tiki bar. You will think you are in the Caribbean while looking out at beautiful Elkhart Lake.

So whether you are looking for a romantic weekend, girlfriends’ trip or family getaway, Elkhart Lake will serve you well.

For more information about fall and winter events in Elkhart Lake, please visit www.elkhartlake.com u

IMAGE BY ELKHART LAKE’S ROAD AMERICA

E

lkhart Lake, a quaint, almost sleepy little town of less than 1,000 residents, is a short, onehour drive from most of southeastern Wisconsin.

However, in the summer the town is wide awake, and could be called somewhat hyper-active during Road America race weekends. Visitors flock from all over the country and, often, even the world to watch local and world class racers.

As a matter of fact, Dr. McDreamy, a.k.a., actor Patrick Dempsey raced just last month at the Elkhart Lake track.

Besides a chance to rub elbows with the famous, the community boasts of many attractions - from historical sites to parks, charming stores and restaurants including the Paddock Club, Lola’s at the Osthoff Resort and the Lake Street Café – Elkhart Lake has much to offer.

What is rather unusual about the small town is the fact that there are so many outstanding lodging choices.

The Osthoff Resort, originally constructed in 1885, was completely renovated in 1995. Today, guests enjoy the spirit of days gone by with the modern

ENTRANCE TO SIEBKENS RESORT September 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 23

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 10

pone taking required minimum distributions until the year you turn 70 1/2. This can potentially allow your assets to continue to grow tax-deferred until they are withdrawn.

MEET OUR FAMILY! SPORTS

SOCIAL SECURITY AND YOU

John White

M I LWA U K E E

Family

fun

check out our calendar of events of Greater Milwaukee

FALL / WINTER 2013 | CompLImENTARy

Educational Goals

page 3A

Wisconsin

By Jack Pearson

NEMOVITZ:

merely here in Wisconsin, but throughout the entire nation. You might assume that statement to have a hyperbolic ring to it. Not so; it is absolutely true, and her name is Janis Doleschal.

Consider just a few of her amazing array of accomplishments. As a youth she was an outstanding athlete in such diverse sports as softball, basketball and swimming, and then later in golf, despite growing up in an era when none of those sports, or any in fact, were available to young ladies in elementary and high schools and even rarely on the college level. She became a superb scholar and has four degrees.

By Karen Ellenbecker & Julie Ellenbecker -Lipsky

MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

By Bruce Nemovitz

APRON STRINGS

Emma

PLUS Inside

When your child has special needs

TRAVEL

MONEY SENSE

Healthcare Directory

involved

She is, unquestionably, one of the most reEDITORIALS markable women in the world of sports, not

EDITORIALS

SENIOR

By Aunt Emma

At the age of 59, a good friend tions. Two major health insurance of mine lost his job that not only companies refused to even give paid pretty well, but also included him a quote on coverage, and one good health insurance. He was 59 company gave him a quote of over years old, without a job, without $2,000 a month. Fortunately, there health insurance, but with a num- was a State of Wisconsin program ber of pre-existing health condi- called the Health Insurance Risk

IT MAKES ME

AGING ISSUES

By Tom Frazier

PLANTING TOMORROW’S DREAMS TODAY

By Brad Olson

SPORTS

By Jack Pearson

By Bruce Nemovitz

MONEY SENSE

ENTERTAINMENT

Emma

calendar

in Business

It’sabout All the

Eyes Women’s Clubs Bring Change

MF-FALL/WINTER 2013.indd 1

8/5/13 12:13 PM

March WW PAGES.indd 1

2/18/13 10:05 AM

8/12/15 9:07 AM

keeping your

VISION HEALTHY SPRING | SUMMER ISSUE

NEWS

DIRECTORY

Palmer’s Tent Event Aug. 23rd

SENIOR

SPORTS

Assistance in Living

Senior Softball Tourney

page 2B

page 11A

page 18A

TRAVEL

Road America page 14B

By Tom Frazier

Answer Man

CRABBY

HERMAN WHITE WRITES ARTS

ENTERTAINMENT

calendar

of Greater Milwaukee

The Disease that Whispers

August 2015 Vol 28 No. 8

Hobnobbing with Presidents was routine with

COMPLIMENTARY

POMMER:

What about the low wages

page 3A

The $64,000 question

page 6A

Shape Up!

Volunteer

NEMOVITZ:

SpotLight

The right time is now! page 1B

StAy in ShApe without A gym

TED KNAP

By Jack Pearson That’s not a spelling error in the headline above; it’s Knap with one “P,” thank you. It’s a Polish name, and the way it is spelled in Poland. Ted Knap. (Actually he was christened Thaddeus L. Knap.) His parents immigrated to Milwaukee way back in the World War I years. The family then lived in a middle class neighborhood on Milwaukee’s east side, and that’s where Ted and his three brothers and one sister grew up. They attended St. Mary Czestochowa Elementary and Messmer High Schools.

OLSON:

A Sister’s Legacy

Vol. 14 No. 6 | June 2015 | Complimentary

By Aunt Emma

KNAP continued on page 8A

Waking up with

GENE MUELLER, family man and radio host

The man who knew the presidents, Ted Knap, out on the balcony of his Shorehaven Lake Shore Apartment where he now lives.

TERRY SUTTER: EDITORIALS The Volunteer Any Organization Would Cherish

By Jim McLoone Time may pass slowly for some retired people who search for ways Terry Sutter, who is reported to have a heart of gold, also has hands to hold a to pass the time of day, as their level of activity mostly is moving from vacuum cleaner, which he does often as chair to chair. But this definitely is not so for retiree Terry Sutter whose he volunteers for cleanup duties after volunteering activities keep his mind and muscle in prime time condition.

This retired bank vice president spent most of his 40-plus years’ fivarious Ellenbecker non-profit activities in Waukesha.

By Karen nancial career in Waukesha. Now a spry 76-year-old, Sutter had no diffiFor his voluntary efforts, Sutter recently culty delving into his memory to the days of his banking career’s begin& Julie Ellenbecker was awarded the “Golden Vacuum ning at the once prominent Marine Bank. After Marine, he spent over 30 -Lipsky Award” due to his dedication to service. years with its succeeding Chase Bank and finished his financial career with 13 years at First Federal Savings Bank.

THE GOLDEN VACUUM AWARD:

the WRIGHT SIDE of

MF Pages SPRING\SUMMER 2012.indd 1

60

3/7/13 2:00 PM

Are you Sandwiched?

Taking Care of Mom and Dad with Kids

By Matt Pommer

plus FALL FAShion & Sept WW Pages.indd 1

Preparing

FATHER’S DAY Favorites

MONEY SENSE

STATE CAPITOL COMMENT

FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH MILITARY AND VETERAN BENEFITS

SUTTER continued on page 11A

orgAnizAtionAL tipS

SPORTS

By Jack Pearson

Big Sister Sue and Little Sister Mesha

and Big Brother Dusty Little Brother Romeo

*MF-Fall/Winter 2015.indd 1

KILLING TIME with Jim McLoone STRINGS

IT MAKES ME

PLANTING TOMORROW’S DREAMS TODAY

By Brad Olson

TRAVEL

60 APRON the WRIGHT SIDE of

By Enis Wright

AGING ISSUES

Women

Knowing the Secret to Leadership

FRAZIER continued on page 3A

If one of you participates in a qualified retirement plan through your employer, your spouse will be entitled to a number of benefits and protections. For example, your spouse is the automatic sole beneficiary of your retirement assets and must consent in writing to waive this benefit. A spouse is also entitled to other benefits, including health care coverage, as well as protection under the Family and Medical Leave Act.

CALENDAR

HERMAN WHITE WRITES ARTS

By Karen Ellenbecker & Julie Ellenbecker -Lipsky

MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

Sharing Plan (HIRSP) that was designed for people like my friend who could not qualify for private insurance due to pre-existing conditions. While HIRSP covers 80% of costs, my friend was responsible for

CRABBY

Vol. 14 No. 9 | September 2013 | Complimentary

By Matt Pommer

&

Winter

EVENTS

Sara meaney

DOLESCHAL continued on page 12A

Man Health Care,Answer it’s Personal

STATE CAPITOL COMMENT

LOOK INTO NEW ERISA BENEFITS

FALL/WINTER 2015 | COMPLIMENTARY

Fall

of being BeinG

pacesetter in

Women’s sports

CAPITOL Do More STATE toCOMMENT Guiding

By Matt Pommer Parents This Year page 6A

page 1B

The BenefiTs

JANIS DOLESCHAL,

It’s hard to tell here, but there are three little grey and white dogs in front of their owner, Jan Doleschal: Schnitzel, Libby and Snickers.

POMMER:

Vol. 14 No. 3 | March 2013 | Complimentary

January 2015 Vol 29 No. 1

COMPLIMENTARY

family

Financial TipsGfor College MP

Adoption through foster cAre

HAPPY NEW YEAR- 2015

page 7B

page 16B

TRAVEL

8/20/13 9:28 AM

MEN’S HEALTH - Taking Care of the Man in Your Life June WW Pages.indd 1

5/18/15 2:41 PM

Financial Fi i l Wellness W ll

PLUS PUBLICATIONS

By Enis Wright

KILLING TIME

“Planting Tomorrow’s Dreams Today”

MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

By Brad Olson, CFP

By Bruce Nemovitz

with Jim McLoone

Emma

APRON STRINGS

By Aunt Emma

AGING ISSUES

By Tom Frazier

SENIOR

As a military spouse, you may be eligible for a number of benefits, including health care and family separation pay. Spouses of deceased veterans are also entitled to benefits such as health care, educational assistance, home loan guarantees and pensions.

Answer Man

IT MAKES ME CRABBY

publishers of the award winning HERMAN WHITE WRITES PLANTING TOMORROW’S DREAMS TODAY

By Brad Olson

50 PLUS NEWS MAGAZINE, WISCONSIN WOMAN MAGAZINE AND MILWAUKEE FAMILY MAGAZINE ARTS ENTERTAINMENT calendar

For advertising information 60 call 262.367.5303 ext. 14 KILLING TIME and for 50 Plus News Magazine call 262.367.5303 ext. 12 SPORTS

the WRIGHT SIDE of

By Jack Pearson

By Enis Wright

with Jim McLoone

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24 | WISCONSIN WOMAN September 2015

CMYK / .eps

The federal government provides a broad array of benefits to the spouses of its more than 22 million employees, including health, retirement and survivor benefits.

If marriage is on the horizon, congratulations! But before you tie the knot, I highly recommend that you explore the financial implications of marriage as you plan your finances as a couple. That way, you’ll be better able to enjoy this next chapter of your life.

Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz, Certified Financial Planner, is president of the Charles Schwab Foundation and author of “The Charles Schwab Guide to Finances After Fifty,” available in bookstores nationwide. Read more at http://schwab.com/book. You can email Carrie at askcarrie@schwab.com. For more updates, follow Carrie on LinkedIn and Twitter (@CarrieSchwab).

AT HOME | Recipes

A

lthough brisket is generally regarded as a cool weather dish, you may be surprised how this ultimate comfort food works in delicious recipes that help you hang on to the fading days of summer.

A traditional Barbecued Beef Brisket prepared low and slow over a charcoal grill is sure to be a crowd pleaser for a backyard tailgate or a casual gathering with friends. Leftovers can help warm up a cool morning with a decadent serving of Barbecue Benedict, and you can look forward to a Grilled Greek Salad Pita with Beef Brisket for a tasty midday meal.

As any grill master knows, achieving grilling greatness begins with a charcoal fire. l

BARBECUE BEEF BRISKET Makes: 8-10 servings Prep time: 30 minutes Cook time: 5-6 hours

1 beef brisket flat (5-6 pounds)

1 tablespoon beef bouillon base Dry Rub

1 cup beef broth Dry Rub:

1/2 tablespoon salt

1/2 tablespoon paprika

1/2 tablespoon black pepper

1/2 tablespoon sugar

3/4 teaspoon garlic powder

1/2 teaspoon onion powder

1/4 teaspoon oregano

1/8 teaspoon ground coriander

Build a charcoal fire for indirect cooking by situ­ating coals on only one side of grill, leaving other side void.

Cover entire brisket with beef bouillon base. In small bowl, mix dry rub ingredients and coat brisket with rub. When cooker reaches 225°F, place brisket on void side of grill and close lid. Cook for 4 hours, until internal temperature reaches 160170°F. Remove brisket from grill and place in shallow baking dish or disposable aluminum pan. Pour beef broth over brisket and cover pan with aluminum foil. Place baking dish in cooker for an additional 1-2 hours, until internal temperature reaches 185°F. Remove baking dish from grill and let meat rest undisturbed for 20-30 minutes. Slice brisket across grain and serve.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 26

September 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 25

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 27

GRILLED GREEK SALAD PITA WITH BEEF BRISKET Makes: 8 stuffed pitas Prep time: 15 minutes Cook time: 6 minutes

Greek Dressing:

2 tablespoons olive oil 1 1/2 tablespoons Kalamata olives, minced 4 1/2 teaspoons lemon juice

1/2 teaspoon dried oregano

1/8 teaspoon black pepper

4 pita bread rounds, cut in half forming 8 pockets

1 cucumber, cut into 1/2-inch slices

1 tomato

1/2 red onion, cut into 1/2-inch slices

2 cups romaine lettuce, cut into 1-inch pieces

1/4 cup feta cheese

1 pound leftover beef brisket

In small bowl combine all Greek dressing ingredients. Set aside.

Build charcoal fire for direct grilling. Place pita bread directly over hot coals (approximately 450°F) and cook for 1 minute on each side or until grill marks are visible.

Place cucumbers, whole tomato and onion directly over hot coals (approximately 450°F) and cook, turning once, for 4 minutes or until they brown and start to soften.

Remove vegetables from grill and dice. Place vegetables into medium bowl and stir in dressing. Let mixture stand for 5 minutes before adding romaine lettuce and feta cheese.

Fill each pita pocket with leftover beef brisket and grilled Greek salad.

BARBECUE BENEDICT Makes: 6 servings Prep time: 45 minutes Cook time: 7 minutes

1 white onion cut into 1/2-inch- thick strips Onion Marinade Barbecue Benedict Sauce

3 English muffins cut in half

1 pound leftover beef brisket

6 poached eggs Onion Marinade:

9 tablespoons soy sauce

3 tablespoons lemon juice

6 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

6 tablespoons water

6 teaspoons dark brown sugar

3/4 teaspoon garlic powder

3/4 teaspoon black pepper Barbecue Benedict Sauce:

3 egg yolks

1 teaspoon vinegar

1 teaspoon water

1 cup butter, melted

1/4 teaspoon salt Pinch of cayenne pepper

3 tablespoons of your favorite barbecue sauce

In small bowl, mix onion marinade ingre­dients. Pour marinade into resealable plastic bag and add onion strips. Let marinate for 30 minutes.

For sauce, place egg yolks, vinegar and water into stainless steel bowl and vigor­ously whip until mixture is thickened and doubled in volume. Place bowl over sauce pan con­taining barely simmering water (just below boil), making sure bottom of bowl does not touch water.

Whisk continuously, making sure eggs don’t get too hot or they will scramble. Very slowly drizzle melted butter into mixture while whisking rapidly until mixture thickens and doubles in volume. Remove from heat and stir in remaining sauce ingredients.

Build charcoal fire for direct grilling. Place onion strips in grill basket and cook directly over hot coals (approximately 450°F), stirring often for 5 minutes or until onions brown and start to soften. Remove onions from grill and set aside.

Place English muffin halves directly over hot coals for 2 minutes or until toasted. Remove each from grill and top with leftover beef brisket, grilled onions and a poached egg. Drizzle with Barbecue Benedict Sauce.

26 | WISCONSIN WOMAN September 2015

LIFESTYLE | In Fashion

COLOR CHAOS

W

BY SHARON MOSLEY

hite. Black. Navy. Brown. These are the basic colors found in most of our wardrobes. But what happens when fashion designers decide they want to shake things up a bit? They surprise us by creating a little more daring color chaos thrown into the mix of all those boring basics we insist on wearing year after year.

“Without the classics, a wardrobe can’t be built,” admits Jackie Nasser, Fashion Director of the online boutique Rue La La. “But without a little color chaos, a wardrobe can’t come to life.”

Color expert Lee Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Color Institute, agrees. “There are specific color combinations that say classic,” she says, “while other mixes are completely unexpected and bring an element of surprise. Some may refer to those combinations as chaotic, yet in the proper context they might be absolutely on target for expressing a more freewheeling and creative mood. ... There is room for classic and chaotic.”

So whether you want to stick with the classic palette or inject a little more fun into your wardrobe this fall, designers provide plenty of color inspiration. Pantone’s fall 2015 predictions include a color palette that ranges from earthy neutrals such as greenish-gray “Desert Sage,” olive green “Dried Herb,” blue-gray “Stormy Weather” and golden-yellow “Oak Buff.”

Add a wine-like ruddy brown like “Marsala” to warm things up or a blue-green like “Biscay Bay” for a splash of tropical flair. And then if you really want to get a little “chaotic,” layer fall color favorites like “Cadmium Orange,” “Cashmere Rose” and “Amethyst Orchid” to invoke a ‘70s flashback.

But while the trends may change every year or two, we usually have a favorite color, says Eiseman, who extensively explores how color affects all of us in her book “The Color Answer Book.” “Everyone has a personal color ‘signature’ based on hair, skin and eye colors,” she writes.

“Wearing accessories or clothing that repeat elements of your personal coloring will be flattering and distinctive and pleasing to others as well.”

Here are Eiseman’s additional tips for selecting signature colors: u “If you have hair, skin and eyes with very little contrast, such as very dark skin, eyes and hair that appear almost black, there are actually other undertones present.

Extremely dark skin and hair may appear to be blue-black.

So a jet black or true navy sweater and pants accented with a (Biscay Bay) blue shirt and a touch of pristine white to add sharp contrast ... would look terrific.” u “If your skin is a deep dark brown, a brownish black, such as Black Coffee, would look subtly striking.” Try shirts in this season’s Marsala or Biscay Bay to complement coffee-colored skin. Eiseman also suggests a touch of winter white to add a flattering contrast. u “If your hair is silver, your eyes a light blue, and your skin is fair, there is nothing like the drama of jet black” or dark blue colors, writes Eiseman. This season, try Biscay Bay, Marsala and gray Stormy Weather worn with contrasting white or silvery gray and a vibrant touch of Amethyst Orchid. u “Redheads, of course, by virtue of their unique coloring, can’t help but attract attention,” writes Eiseman. “If you are a copper-toned redhead with cream-colored skin and amber eyes, you simply know that the very same shades are magical on you. u For Asian skin tones, Eisemen recommends complementary colors to the olive base of their skin. So reds and pinks are a good match (Marsala, Amethyst Orchid). These shades work well with anyone who has dark hair and dark eyes. u “Sandy-haired people with beige skin tones and brown eyes invariably go for the neutrals. ... If you wear them consistently and with very little contrast, you will disappear into the woodwork,” writes Eiseman. “Wear these classic tones, but add a touch of contrast, something memorable” A little Cadmium Orange or Cashmere Rose, perhaps?

Experiment with different elements from Pantone’s fall palette. Then if you want to add more “chaos” to your life, wear all these colors together!

To find out more about Sharon Mosley, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

September 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 27

BOOKs OF THE MONTH

WISCONSIN WOMAN STAFF PICKS

THE NIGHTINGALE

By Kristin Hannah If you haven’t read a tear-jerker this summer, this is the book for you - make sure you have plenty of tissues.

In France in 1939, in the quiet village of Carriveau, Vianne Mauriac says goodbye to her husband, Antoine, as he heads for the Front. She doesn’t believe that the Nazis will invade France...but invade they do, in droves of marching soldiers, in caravans of trucks and tanks, in planes that fill the skies and drop bombs upon the innocent. When a German captain requisitions Vianne’s home, she and her daughter must live with the enemy or lose everything. Without food or money or hope, as danger escalates all around them, she is forced to make one impossible choice after another to keep her family alive.

Vianne’s sister, Isabelle, is a rebellious eighteen-year-old girl, searching for purpose with all the reckless passion of youth. While thousands of Parisians march into the unknown terrors of war, she meets Gaetan, a partisan who believes the French can fight the Nazis from within France, and she falls in love as only the young can...completely. But when he betrays her, Isabelle joins the Resistance and never looks back, risking her life time and again to save others.

With courage, grace and powerful insight, bestselling author Kristin Hannah captures the epic panorama of WWII and illuminates an intimate part of history seldom seen: the women’s war. The Nightingale tells the stories of two sisters, separated by years and experience, by ideals, passion and circumstance, each embarking on her own dangerous path toward survival, love, and freedom in German-occupied, war-torn France--a heartbreakingly beautiful novel that celebrates the resilience of the human spirit and the durability of women. It is a novel for everyone, a novel for a lifetime.

THE ROCK ORCHARD

By Paula Wall For something light and funny The Rock Orchard will fit the bill.

“Some women can touch a man and heal like Jesus.

The man who sees sunrise from a Belle woman’s bed will swear he’s been born again.”

So begins Paula Wall’s funny, poignant, and sexy novel, “The Rock Orchard.” Musette Belle could lay her hand on a baby’s heart and see his life as if he’d already lived it. Even in death, she continues to shock the good citizens of Leaper’s Fork, Tennessee, and her descendents are doing their best to carry on her legacy. Angela Belle, a haunting and beautiful siren, lures every man she meets into greatness, while her illegitimate and very independent daughter, Dixie, serves tea and vanilla wafers to the statue of the Confederate soldier she believes is her father.

But when Charlotte Belle, a woman who would rather spend the night with Jack Daniel’s than any man she knows, seduces a stranger in the cemetery, it not only transforms the two people involved but the entire town.

Blending sensuality, wisdom, and wry wit to create a truly unique love story, “The Rock Orchard” is about the strength of community, the might of God, and the ultimate power of extraordinary women.

28 | WISCONSIN WOMAN September 2015

PETS | Dog Talk

Know Your Dog

Nose to Toes

Y

ou probably know that ticks cause Lyme disease in dogs. But did you know that removing a diseased tick in the early stages of attachment could save your dog a lifetime of pain, decreased mobility and possible damage to the heart, kidneys and nervous system?

You probably know to keep your dog away from chocolate and candy. But did you know that a handful of raisins could induce kidney disease? And would you recognize the symptoms of failing kidneys?

You probably know that a limping dog is an uncomfortable dog. But did you know that a dog with a “skip” to his gait might have a patellar luxation? And did you know that a consequence of patellar luxation is degenerative joint disease that causes chronic pain and lameness?

You probably know that obesity leads to diabetes in dogs and humans. But do you know how diabetes presents in a dog? Would you notice the symptoms of lethargy, decreased appetite, excessive water consumption and increased urination?

You probably know all about the dangers of snakes hidden in tall grass. But what about the danger of some grasses themselves? Foxtail barbs designed to move forward and not backward pose a serious threat of soft tissue damage and infection when left embedded in a dog’s nose, ear canal, paw or skin.

A little bit of awareness is all it takes to prevent most of these scenarios from spinning dangerously out of control.

Daily attention to your dog’s overall being can save you thousands of dollars -- and his life.

I call it the nose-to-toes one-minute morning checkup, and it’s the best return on investment you’ll ever see.

As the name suggests, start at the nose and work back.

Check the nose, eyes, ears and gums. At first, you’re looking to get a feel for your dog’s norm. Once you know his norm, you’ll readily pick up on changes -- drippy nose, bad breath, inflamed gums, foul-smelling ears.

From there, palpate head to tail, back to belly for lumps.

As a dog ages, lumps become more common. Most of the time, they are nothing more than fatty fluid. Sometimes, though, they’re malignant and should be removed. Your vet will know the difference. Draw a map of your dog’s body, and

keep track of those you’ve had checked.

Check the niches of his paws for ticks, foxtails or any other foreign body. Check his paw pads to ensure they aren’t dry and cracked.

Pay careful attention to your dog’s weight. Any unexplained significant weight loss or gain should be reported to his veterinarian. “Significant” varies depending on size. A one-pound loss over the course of a week is not particularly noteworthy in a Great Dane. In a Pomeranian, it’s significant.

It’s also important to be familiar with your dog’s water and food habits, as well as his overall energy level. Changes in any of these behaviors are worthy of your attention. A sad dog is a sick dog, and so a sad dog will likely benefit from a visit with the vet.

In addition to educating yourself about your dog’s normal, pick up a resource book of veterinary medicine for laymen. Pocket size will do. Just have something on hand that links symptoms to possible causes, and don’t be afraid to hit the vet. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

P E Tof the month You know your pet is the best pet on earth — isn’t it time the rest of the world knew it too? Wisconsin Woman Magazine‘s Pet of the Month gives you and your pet the chance to appear in our magazine. So start snapping photos — your pet deserves to be a star!

Email a photo of your pet to editorial@twwmag.com (label subject line with: Pet of the month) along with a description of your pet and what makes your pet so special.

September 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 29

September ACTIVITIES FOR ALL

September 4, 5 – 10 pm September 5 - 6, 9 am – 10 pm

THE WISCONSIN HIGHLAND GAMES Waukesha Expo Center, 1000 Northview Rd., Waukesha The sound of the pipes... the mighty strength of the athletes... the leaping grace of the dancers... the Wisconsin Highland Games are back, Labor Day Weekend in Waukesha! It’s a weekend of affordable Celtic fun for the entire family, kids 12 and under get in free. Explore your family history, hurl a battle-axe, check out the kilts, play with the dogs, or have a pint at the pub with some authentic Celtic music!

September 4, noon – midnight September 5 – 7, 9 am – 10 pm

OAK CREEK LION’S FEST 2015 American Legion Post 434, 9327 S. Shepard Avenue, Oak Creek Free admission and parking. Food, games, carnival rides, live music on indoor and outdoor stages, classic car show, Polka mass, face painting, balloon art, Friday fish fry, Brew City Wrestling and Veteran’s appreciation day on Monday with a free meal with a military id.

September 5 -6, 10 am – 6 pm

THIRD WARD ART FESTIVAL

Third Ward, Milwaukee The Third Ward Art Festival returns to the heart of Milwaukee’s thriving arts and fashion district, the Historic Third Ward, for two dynamic days of artwork exploration, live music, and flavorful food from neighboring spots. Featuring a robust display of mediums including ceramics, fiber, glass, jewelry, sculpture, mixed media, paintings, drawings, photography, printmaking, wood, and furniture, the festival will showcase an array of art, with an ample selection available for $100 or less.

30 | WISCONSIN WOMAN September 2015

September 5-7, 11 am - 3 pm

September 12 – October 25, 10 am - 5 pm

TASTING & SALE Elegant Farmer, 1545 Main St, Mukwonago Straight from the state fair, taste the best of the best enjoying this year’s Grand Champion and Blue Ribbon award-winning artisan and specialty cheeses throughout Labor Day Weekend.

Unique varieties, sampling and 10% off all cheese will be offered throughout the event.

Elegant Farmer, 1545 Main St., Mukwonago Saturdays & Sundays Only. The Elegant Farmer offers a family fun farm experience Saturdays & Sundays. Pick from 12 varieties of apples right from the tree or enjoy selecting the prefect pumpkins from the patch. Enjoy beautiful fall colors aboard a tractor-pulled hayride, pony ride or train ride. The East Troy Electric Railroad’s turn-ofthe-century train departs Saturdays and Sundays from and returns to The Elegant Farmer Depot.

Enjoy our 5-acres family-friendly corn maze farm scene. While visiting enjoy delicious specialty foods including cider, make-your-own caramel apple, warm cider donuts, pulled pork and chili, just to name a few favorites.

GRAND CHAMPION CHEESE

September 6, 7 – 10 pm

OUTDOOR SUMMER MOVIE Veterans Park, 1010 N. Lincoln Memorial Drive, Milwaukee Enjoy a FREE family-friendly movie in the park! The movie, E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (PG), begins at dusk. Food and beverages are available for purchase from the Gift of Wings Kite Store.

September 11, 6 – 11:30 pm September 12, 11 am – 11:30 pm

TOSAFEST

7615 W. State Street, Wauwatosa TosaFest 2015 continues Wauwatosa’s 36year tradition of music, food, and family fun, to celebrate the historic village and community spirit. Each year, proceeds from TosaFest support community projects in the areas of education, safety and neighborhood improvement, to name a few. Countless volunteers work yearround to create a memorable event that entertains and benefits the whole community. Don’t miss the music, food and family fun!

AUTUMN HARVEST FESTIVAL

September 12, 8 am - Noon WAUKESHA COUNTY HOUSEHOLD HAZARDOUS WASTE SPECIAL COLLECTION City Public Works Garage, 630 South Worthington St., Oconomowoc Free to any county resident (proof of residency required) Visit www.waukeshacounty. gov/hazardouswaste or call 262-896-8300 for more information.

September 12, 9 am – 5 pm DOWNTOWN OCONOMOWOC’S FALL FESTIVAL Shopping, live music, dance, food and festivities are offered at this annual event presented by the Downtown Oconomowoc Merchants Association. This family event offers kids games, a beer tent, Burrito Biathlon, kayak races on Fowler Lake, a Chile pepper eating contest and street vendors.

September 11, 4 pm – midnight September 12, noon – midnight September 13, 11 am – 8 pm

INDIAN SUMMER FESTIVAL

Indian Nation’s largest cultural celebration - on Milwaukee’s beautiful lakefront. Veterans Parade, Exhibit and theme: Honoring Our Warriors, with special tributes for all Veterans, active Military Personnel and First Responders. Traditional Pow Wow, fireworks, Indian dance troupes, Native Music Awards Program (ISMA), Tribal Villages, cultural demonstrations, storytellers, Lacrosse demo’s & tournament, Juried Fine Art, American Indian traditional and contemporary entertainers, authentic foods, a Native farmers market, and an extensive Native marketplace featuring authentic jewelry, arts & crafts, clothing and so much more!

September 12, 10 am – 5 pm

WAUKESHA DEPUTY ASSOCIATION CAR TRUCK’N BIKE SHOW Sussex Village Park, Sussex The Power of a Wish Car Show grows every year. 2014 brought in a record number of collector vehicles of all makes and models. Show your car for a chance to win the Kid’s Choice Award.

All proceeds to benefit the Make-A-Wish® Foundation of Wisconsin and the Autism Society of Southeastern Wisconsin. Cost to register a show car is $10, spectators are free. Trophies, food, beer, soda, door prizes, raffles, music provided

by Wisconsin Hot Rod Radio. Huge silent auction tents, softball tournaments.

September 12 – 13, 10 am – 4 pm

September 19, 10 am - 6 pm September 20, 10 am – 5 pm

TRIMBORN FARM HARVEST OF ARTS AND CRAFTS

WINE & HARVEST FESTIVAL 2015

8881 W. Grange Ave, Greendale The vendors at Harvest are all chosen by a panel of judges for their originality of design and quality of craft. From wearable art and holiday decorations to flawlessly detailed jewelry, paintings, and sculpture, the Harvest Festival features some of the most exceptional hand-crafted work in the Midwest. Limited parking, shuttle bus available every 20 minutes, picking up and dropping off at Southridge Mall, near Macy’s. Look for the signs!

September 13, noon - 4 pm

NEW BERLIN HISTORICAL SOCIETY ANNUAL HISTORIC DAY 19765 W National Ave., New Berlin This is a family-friendly, free event at the Historical Park. Visit the historic houses, log home and barn, an1800s schoolhouse and church. In the museum you will find farm history displays along with military, police and fire history displays and a gift shop. Enjoy the parade down National Ave at 2 pm and watch a blacksmith at work. Kids will enjoy barrel rides through the apple orchard, trying their hand at old washing machines. There will be homemade desserts and beverages available for sale. For more information visit www.newberlinhistoricalsociety.org.

Downtown Historic Cedarburg, W63 N641 Washington Ave., Cedarburg Autumn is the perfect season to visit Historic Cedarburg, especially during the 43rd annual Wine & Harvest Festival. Enjoy loads of harvest flavor - caramel apples, harvest apple brats and other fall favorites, Farmer’s Market, whimsical scarecrows and award-winning wines from Cedar Creek Winery. Fun children’s activities; street performers, pumpkin carvers, the Giant Pumpkin Charity Regatta and live music throughout town. Browse over 200-juried artists at “Arts on the Avenue.” And be sure to take a hayride to visit the Wisconsin Museum of Quilts and Fiber Arts where many fun activities are offered for the entire family.

September 25 – 27,

HARVEST FAIR

Wisconsin State Fair Park, 640 South 84th Street, West Allis It’s Harvest Fair Time! Kick off the beautiful fall season with a visit to Harvest Fair at Wisconsin State Fair Park. Admission is FREE for this family-friendly event and ticketed activities will provide plenty of fun for all-ages. For more information visit: www.wistatefair.com/harvestfair.

September 27, 10:00 am - 2:00 pm

SUSSEX FARMERS MARKET

September 19, 9 am – 2 pm

15TH ANNUAL MILWAUKEE RIVER CHALLENGE Hundreds of collegiate, high school and club rowers across the Midwest will compete.

Spectators can line the three-mile challenge, which begins on the Menomonee River at 25th and Canal streets, proceeding east towards the Milwaukee River. Battling a 90-degree turn, as well as bridges and other hurdles, rowers will head north on the Milwaukee River towards the finish line at Schlitz Park, just below Pleasant Street. For more information about the Milwaukee River Challenge, please visit www.milwaukeeriverchallenge.com or call 608.658.6175.

Armory Park, W239N5664 Maple Avenue, just north of Highway K. Stop and visit the many local vendors who are selling an array of items from flowers, produce, vegetables, honey, organic coffee and much more! The farmers market runs Sundays thru October.

41st

Sept. 19, 2015

September 2015 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 31

B U L C S ’ R E Y A L P R E I M E R P E TH

R E Y A L P H C I H W ?

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